#someone play with my hair fuck
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Work was an absolute mind fuck today omg I've not moved from my sofa since getting in. How the fuck am I meant to carry on
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"All I see is a slave."
"And all I see is a fool."
#hellsing#alucard#my art#Dracula#THIS WAS SO HARD#GODS#ripping my hair out#how do you think Dracula would react to modern Alucard?#or vice versa?#Alucard fucking hates himself already#like that's canon#Dracula would be insulted at the prospect of being at someones mercy and Alucard would just see the pointless arrogant creature he used to b#I'm on Dracula's side simply because he was less annoying to render and draw#also I shamelessly traced over the casull#im not playing your stupid games old man
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i have been unmedicated for the entirety of spring break and thus have had little interest in writing this down, but i have been thinking about this for the entire week (as well as a dpdc clone danny au that resulted in it becoming its entirely separate batman au that includes a teenage vigilante bruce wayne, an ocarina, and me entirely incapable of making a batman au without making bruce dirt poor but we're not talking about that) and so i've finally went 'fuck it' and forcibly grabbed my laptop. I will get this done in one sitting even if it kills me.
BUT. This is about neither clone^2 danny nor about who i am calling Ocarina Batman. This is about my Danyal Al Ghul Au and more SPECIFICALLY it's me thinking about his relationship with Sam and Tucker specifically.
Tucker and Sam? Adore this asshole (affectionate) with every fiber of their being. And it is very much a reciprocated feeling, but Danny's thoughts will not be delved into much other than he would kill for them.
Tucker? The only person currently capable of getting a deep, loud, belly laugh out of Danny. Sam can get him to smile and to laugh, but it's the kind that's a chuckle-under-the-breath. The quiet, looks-down-while-huffing laughter. Snorts once with laughter and then grins stupidly.
But Tucker? Tucker can crack a slew of stupid jokes and Danny will be incapacitated for the next five minutes because he's laughing so hard that he can't breath. He lands one well-timed pun or quip and Danny will be close to tears. His laughter is their favorite sound in the whole world.
Sam is lowkey jealous of this ability, and she's gotten a belly laugh out of Danny a few times. But alas, it is Tucker who wields this power and has gotten it the most times out of the two of them.
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They're also both physically affectionate with Danny as much as possible. It started roughly around when they were 12-ish, a year since they befriended Danny, and they noticed that he sought after touch but never seemed to initiate (and was in some ways repulsed by it). They started slowly being more touchy with him. Hooking a finger around his to lead him somewhere, tapping his wrist, looping arms. Little touches, grabs, etc, to get him used to it, and once he started doing it back they started increasing it.
It's gotten to a point where he will now just. Lay on them. Like a lizard sunbathing on a rock. Leaning on their backs when they're sitting in class before the bell rings, his chin on their heads. He'll talk about anything with his arms looped around their shoulders.
If they're sitting on a couch at either of their houses, he'll lay his legs on theirs. Him and Tucker will press their feet against the other's and try and push against them (newsflash: Danny always wins, Tucker claims its the ghost strength but Danny's been winning since before his accident)
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Naturally, both Sam and Tucker know where Danny keeps his weapons on his person, and are allowed to grab them off of him if they need it. His only requirement is that they don't lose his weapons if they take it and forget to return it immediately.
They both understand how big of a thing this is from Danny, and so they do their best to treat his weapons with a lot of respect and care because they know its his way of saying he trusts them.
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Sam and Tucker are so fond of Danny it's insane. Like fr. That's their goddamn best friend, and they are so protective of him. Emotionally, physically, you name it. They will tear the head off a grown man if they need to, Danny's had scars since he arrived in Amity Park and Sam and Tucker both are going to find the person who put them there and make them pay for it.
One time, Tucker overheard a bunch of upperclass girls speaking nastily about Danny and about the rumors surrounding him, calling him names like 'freak', 'monster', etc. Danny was with him and heard it, and seemingly appeared unbothered by it, even telling Tucker that he was used to such rumors.
Tucker was so furious that hacked into the school system later that night and tanked those girls grades. They were kicked out of their clubs and had to go to mandatory tutoring for the rest of the year. He made sure to leave some way of letting them know it was him who did it.
And Sam doesn't like using her money for things, doesn't like abusing that wealth. So instead, whenever her parents talk bad about Danny, she causes a media incident that has her parents scrambling to deal with. She does something wild, outrageous by her parents' standards.
She heard some boys on the basketball team making fun of Danny once, similar to those girls had. She kicks up a fuss about something eco-unfriendly at school and forcibly holds a protest on the same day of the big home basketball game, forcing them to cancel the event and reschedule to a visiting school.
She anonymously donates money so that there's new uniforms for the team but oops! Looks like she "forgot" to donate enough money for them to get uniforms for all the team members, and strangely enough those boys in particular didn't get them! Looks like they'll have to wait until more money gets donated for the basketball team to get their new, nice uniforms. The old ones look so ratty in comparison, right?
And since the football team gets most of the sport money, that might just take awhile. And if (and when) they kick up a fuss? oops! Off the basketball team you go, :) such unsportsman-like behavior is unfit for the team.
(The only good thing about how corrupt the school system is is that she can use it to her advantage too.)
The both of them know that Danny suspects them for the sudden misfortune falling on these people, but he doesn't call them out on it. He's kinder than he used to be, but not kind enough to vouch for people who speak badly of him. Sometimes, he might just congratulate them on not getting caught.
Because Danny is their wonderful, hurt friend with a "slightly" Blue and Orange Moral code, and enough scars that people have been calling him a criminal (and worse) since he arrived in Amity Park when he was ten. And they'll be damned if he gets hurt anymore.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul#its kinda hard to get my thoughts in order bc i am ✨unmedicated✨ rn BUT#this is the gist of it#i could wax poetic about how much sam and tucker adore danny as their friend but alas. the wax is not waxing. it is stuck to the paper#and i am chipping it off with my nail and its getting stuck under it.#ocarina batman has been in my head since friday someone come sedate me. him and pit fighter batman too. who is ALSO a piss poor teenage#bruce wayne who instead of a vigilante and villains is a PIT FIGHTER. he fights blindfolded thats why he's called the bat#ocarina batman's Look is if you combined punk + assassins creed aesthetic together and then gave it an ocarina#the ocarina is because i thought it'd be cool if its how he and robin communicated across long distances bc they didnt have comms#because they are ✨poor✨ and live in a one room apartment in crime alley.#and also the mental image of him sitting on. rooftop ledge in the rain playing 'song of storms' from LoZ was too fantastic to ignore#like bro imagine hearing that as a criminal. you're off doing shady shit with your gang and in the distance you hear the faint and#haunting melody of an ocarina. two of them in a call and response duet. and its getting closer. and you cannot find where#siren type shit fr fr#look he has the assassins creed hood and a long ass coat that has spikes on the end that when flared out looks like the silhouette of a bat#on fucking GOD i am this 👌 close to finding an artist doing commissions to make this for me. i am frothing at the mouth#he is 17-19 years old with his little brother-son Robin. Logically Robin is Dick but in my heart of hearts the first Robin is Jason#and he has perfected the art of getting his older brother to play songs on the pan flute for him. long pitchy whine on his own ocarina#the familiar childlike 'pleeeaaaaaaase?' and he knows he's won when there is a 10s silence on the other end before his brother plays#a lullaby.#look up 'sailor moon - pan flute (relaxing) on youtube' and when there's the thumbnail of two green skinned aliens with long blue and pink#hair. click on it. THAT is the song Bruce plays.#hhhhhhhhhhh frothing at the mouth over this au sooo fucking badly
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the rockers make me gay
#rhythm heaven#rhythm tengoku#rhythm heaven ds#sketch#rockers#deshi kun#rhythm tengoku gold#student rocker#deshi UEUEUEUEUEUEUE😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#never drawing someone playing guitar again#favorite character from ds for sure#ummm might do jj next if i figure out how to draw boys and his fucking hair cause what????#keywords might#deshi… save me… save me deshi…#i’ll try my best ^_^
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project sekai characters ranked by how good/bad they are at navigating romantic interactions
#twitter REALLY likes this so#do you know how often i see people portraying akito like he's some sort of smooth talking player boy#too often. like oh my god you people are insane#did you not see the fit he threw over an pointing out he was playing with toya's hair after the show in nocturne interlude#he has the most blushing expressions out of at least all the boys if not the whole cast#like he's a fucking dork and a mess ok.#kohane smiles a little too sweetly at him and you know what he does? he gets so nervous he has to go throw up. thankyou#mafuyu's an enigma. he's probably just... very blunt?#and he doesn't have a filter tbh but unlike minori shizuku and toya he's not waxing poetic about how much someone means to him#i think he's just like. 'i can't stop thinking about you and it's kind of annoying. stop it'#(stop what???) 'being think-about-able'
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:D (I ramble in my tags about this)
#shuichi iguchi#shigaraki tomura#mha spinner#bnha spinner#spinaraki#spinneraki#ok now that the tags are out of the way LETS TALK#i was reading a webtoon when female lead did that whole laugh and cover it with your hand thing and i do it sometimes too#and i got to thinking about WHY and why its usually girls depicted as such and i know some people dont like their teeth/smile#and im like well shut the fuck up! im thinking fem spinner!!! like being self conscious about how she looks and developing it on accident#and shigaraki never really noticing until one day she DOES and wow spinner looks really pretty when she laughs and why does she hide it#like damn!!! i have a lot of thoughts about what spinner but female and the changes that would have on the character and why and agdjfkflg#ANYWAYS someone stop me from regressing to the old way i used to do hair bc its too damn time intensive but its so easy to zone out during#fem shigaraki#fem spinner#was going to properly do the background but i got done after forgetting the texture for spinner for the 4th time + went eeeh good enough#also!!!!!! the last “”panel“” made me realize how weird that angle is to draw spinner with his major proportions and also keep the soft 1/2#2/2 smile reading as a smile and agdhfkfl am i adding “looks like a resting bitch face” to my spinner headcanons? maybe.#but imagine spinner trying so hard to look approachable and give a little smile but his face just????? doesnt do that very well (at least#not as easily as more human looking humans) and how that might play into his ostracization and then him leaning into that#as a defense mechanism (like if they think im an ass then I'll look like an ass on purpose) ahdndn he was so grumpy in the bar in the bg#mha jbee
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I am
Legitimately so fucking irritated
They dangle this teaser in front of us, give us such little news and information on the season in general, I'm forced to watch my peers constantly fantasize about him getting his heart broken by the woman he loves, and now, in a teaser for his season, we get his brother having a moment with his wife and basically nothing else
#rip ripping my hair out <<<3#saw someone mocking polin fans because “kanthony stays winning” your honor I do not fucking care#I'm frustrated i it so bad to want to see the ENTIRE FUCKING SHIP#how hard would it have been to play a clip with him#legitimately how difficult would that have been.#this is literally just a ploy to get people who liked s2 to watch s3 and a.) you're all falling for it b.) its making me unreasonably upset#this is shit marketing because its damn near making me want to drop and I'm literally obsessed with this seasons leads.
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i feel like i’m living a double life and i’m so tired. tw for venting but ugh i’m so… i keep thinking about it. i’ll put a cut to hide the vent but it’s just me.. rambling abt genders and stuff.
but i look around my room and i see my deadname, i see christian related items from my gran and mother and items i only cling onto to please them. i can’t use kai irl.. i can’t use my pronouns irl.. i can’t openly practise judaism irl (anymore since my dad left)
i feel so… fake. i have to refer to myself a daughter, a sister, she/her, everything. like my life is a lie. but i’m not comfortable at all and the chances i’ll ever be me irl are so slim…
i keep thinking about how if i get a partner i’m going to struggle because i’m supposed to be straight and cis… this is tearing me apart and i’d probably solve this if it was safe for me to come out but every time someone says my deadname i think i just… realise my situation a little more.
#and the chances of me dating someone who is also not cishetero are high which means im also gonna struggle with my family there#like FUCK#screams#slams head against wall#i think i’m angry about too much recently#i want cuddles and my hair played with and sigh. i’m not getting it#i’m just getting more struggles
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Need a guy to love on and hug and cuddle and whisper sweet nothings into his ear and more
#cj rambles#not nsft#yearning#you couldve had all of that smh....#im still getting over him lol#i just dont get it i have so much fucking love to give and no takers yet. i know that with patience comes rewards but i want it NOW#kills me that i don't have a beautiful boy to dote on. to make him feel so loved. ill make him feel like a million bucks#hell I'd carve open my chest cut my heart out and serve it to you you just have to ask#i need to be wrapped around someone's finger#guess i have the canine urge to pledge my loyalty to someone and bite them sometimes and give them unconditional love#it's not fair i need someone to obsess over tbh. to live in my head rent free. let me worship you god dammit!!!!!#gay#ftm#mlm#t4t#come onnnnnn ill play with your hair and let you lay on my chest ill be suchhhhhhhh a good boyfriend#actually losing my mind rn#all this devotion and no one to lay it on. feels like my hearts gonna explode sometimes like i need to get it out#manifesting a relationship this year idc if we dont get married and raise 5 dogs i just need something#thats not a fucking. one sided situationship......
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yeah i can't come to class today, sorry. yeah. yeah. it's cause my hair's too long. mhm. gonna put me out of commission til the weekend at least
#fuck it's too long it's too long it's too long hate hate hate hate hate kill kill kill#i am resisting the urge to cut it all off with scissors but just barely#i havent been able to go home lately and my clippers are there. fUCKK#ITS TOO LONG SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE#i cant stop thinking about shaving my head again or at least cutting it short#it's summer i should have short hair summer is for short hair FUCKK THIS IS WEIRD#i feel like a sad stonermetal mushroom. in middle school. and NOT in a cool way if that wasnt clear!!#hhhhhhhhgnnnghfhn fuckk i feel so gross and weird#i didnt even do anything why are my spoons gone FUCKK. SHITITTTUJ DAMMIT#this is so dumb i literally skipped my second class for no reason and i have so mucj work but i didnt even do anything#i shoudktn be this out ofnit. euhhhhhghh#and i have a new friend and he really really wants to hang out and i dont hav.e the spoons#but i feel so bad.. and i have other ppl i wanna hang out with but i cant bring nyself to readh out#and even if they reached ouy i probably wouldnt be able to respond and i have to go see a show thid week too#bc theyre doing into the woods and i love that shit and i promised id go ans ive been lookign forward to it for months#but i cant. bwuhhhhhhhhghhhh#and i cant just tell the new friend i don't wanna hang out twice this week (one is the play) bc i blew him off all last week#i really dont wanna hurt his feelings but i really can't communicate like he wants me to. and ive kinda said that but still#mmmmmmnnnnuguhghh hes only doing it bc i mean a lot to him but it's moving so fast ans I can't really be there forbhim the way he probably#deserves.. i should probably eat skmething idk. eughhhhhhhhgghhghhggh. melting into a pile of slop and slurry rn#just gonna sink into my bed and not sleep and feel bad. hoorayy
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I have never cried so much over one person in my life …I’m so glad she doesn’t have tumblr
#Every little thing she does is so cute to me#Nothing she does will ever make me hate her#She’s literally perfect and I love her so fucking much I want to tell her but how#Plus she’s not looking for a romantic partner I don’t want to fuck that up#I’d do anything for her. Including hold back my own feelings because of something she said once#But god k hate being away from her. I miss her randomly playing with my hair and holding my hand and just looking at me and everything#Why’d I ever doubt that I was in love with her? I’ve never cried over someone the way I have for her#I’ve never felt so much longing as I have for her#S.K thinks
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uhhhhhh dylan marron as in carlos the scientist from welcome to nightvale dylan marron? are you are you fucking serious. what the actual fuck i’m not able to process this properly.
#im actually going to go insane#i was just#going through tags#saw someone talk abt episode titles#and how the one abt paris is written by dylan marron#pay no attention to it and decide to find where ppl got the titles from#go on reddit#find the list#go to the corresponding episode#there’s a wikipedia link for dylan! yay!#i assumed that dylan was queer since he wrote the ppl think the gay bar will play a part in#TURNS OUT HE’S CARLOS??? LIKE SCIENTIST CARLOS#im not okay what the actual fuck#LIKE MR GET TRAPPED IN THE DESERT OTHERWORLD CARLOS#LIKE MR BEAUTIFUL HAIR GREG LOCKS#fucking hell im describing trent too now holy shit#my two words colliding im not coping too well#wtnv#ted lasso#carlos the scientist#trent crimm
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...
#listen. sometimes. when i get emails pertaining to a specific project i worked on that nearly broke my brain. i just stop what im doing#and start playing Losing My Religion by REM. and i wish the person emailing me could see me face down at a table listening to thay song#mostly its fine. its just when someones trying to manage the data files so i kno im gonna have to go back thru and update my code#for a bunch of tiny stuff and its like: does this sound ok? and i just dont care so much that i want to start screaming#and then at the end of the day i hike up a fucking mountain going over what im gonna tell a therapist when my insurance switches#and im gonna say it in a way thats v calm and agreeable but i want to scream and tear my hair out. or maybe i wont b agreeable. i wasnt#last time i was in a therapist office but that guy deserved it and i wasn't being that bad#ugh. im just mad bc working on my stuff makes me so miserable that when i stop its like wow im no longer in agony. cool#coool. fun times. becoming increasingly apprehensive abt how im gonna try to b more healthy abt working while taking on triple#the responsibility with a phd project and being a student and being a TA. i mean. ill try but its gonna b fucking interesting#ugh. had to bust out the burnout playlist. which like. when u try to look at other ppls burnout playlists they all suck#theyre all like former gifted kid burnout Playlists and im like fuckkk offfff. why do u not have the incredibly specific vibes that im#looking for? i just demand the perfect burnout playlist and somehow nobody puts No Surprises on there#like what??? y not? its a song abt being so totally saturated that youve had enough. a heart thats full up like a landfill. a job that#slowly kills u. bruises that wont heal. how is it not THE burnout song? but whatever. i listen to too much radi0head.#ugh. but now my burnout playlist is becoming too much like my My Brain Doesnt Feel Too Good playlist#listen. i just need to curate playlist so that they can express the feelings for me#unrelated
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21st century "et tu, brute" moment
#and still WHAT ARE THOSE GIANT BLACK THINGS!!!#TELLING HIYORI TO PLAY THAT SONG ON HIS FUNERAL. HE KNEW. i was just kidding my ass!!!#TOKI AGAINST KAIDO???? FUCK OFF!!!! kaido wanted to fight momo i guess??? thank god he left#WHAT IS TOKI DOING??? SHINOBU??? WHAT IS HER PURPOSE!! SHE CAME LOOKING FOR LUFFY??? HE KNOWS BC OF LAUGHTALE AND HE KNOWS HE WOULD DIE#why is she running from the past??? omg toki.... chills..... full body chills...#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 975#at first i thought oh we know this whatever.... but damn. godamn#back to the present.... i am not ready#nvm. denjiro jesus...... ITS THE FUCKING GUY??? THE BKUE HAIRED GUY??? KYOSHIRO???? THATS FUCKED UP. WELL AT LEAST HE IS AGAINST OROCHI#that was good. and he still is ushumitzu kozo.... my guess is he took care of hiyori but MAYBE DON'T GIVE HER THAT JOB IDK#he got so angry he changed faces. iconic#this traitor reveal is so cool.... being an actor SO GOOD you are willing to die... damn. he be waking up real early to be a hater#luffy's one sleeve off kimono with the armor looks so good.... style king....#episode 976#kanjuro..... i got spoiled bit choosong to reveal that in a boat in the middle of the sea when he has devil fruit powers... well....#KIKU!!! EXECUTE HIM!!! SLAY!! HIS ASS!!!#kinemon omg.... well deserved. goodbye 👋🏻#OH NO!!! WHO IS THAT???? HE DREW HIMSELF???? NOW HE KNOWS HOW!!!#THE SUNNY!!!!! THEY UNDERRATED FRANKY'S CARPENTRY SKILLS!!!#LAWW!!!!!!!!!! OH WHAT A FIT!!!! KID TOO?????? OH HIS SHIP SLAYS!!! NOW GO SAVE MOMO!! SOMEONE!!!#luffy has a cape..... hell yes.....#omg....... finally................#episode 977#i am so hyped.... now i need to go back to work ajdjakks
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you know what they don’t tell you about naming your cat after a character is that when ur lil animal dies, you’ll never be able to look at the character the same way again.
#sorry this is dark#but my cat just fucking died#and i’ll never be able to watch the sandman or anything to do with dream without being sad#i’ve already had to unfollow the dreamling tag#i am not doing well#i’m sorry#i just miss him so much#i keep thinking that joking and finding some humor is going to make it better#it doesn’t#his name was Dream of the Endless#bc he was a long black haired cat#he was a perfect and sweet boy#he wouldn’t even scratch someone when playing#even when he was a kitten#he was so gentle#he didn’t even make it to 2#i#sorry#i’ll stop
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