suddenly obsessed w/practicing 16x16;;

one string is all that I need

one of the things I wasn't prepared for as a trans person in a big industry was the absolutely OVERWHELMING emotions around being accepted for who I am. ;__; some highlights from the past couple months:

a prominent speaker at a UK media company showing my work to his son, casually saying: "Do you like this picture? Ewan drew it." I've never spoken to this man, but he respects me enough to not only show my work to his child - but to future students as well. these kids are going to grow up knowing the work of a publicly trans artist, and with any luck it will be normal to them.

Tilt Five publicly replying to my TDOV post with THIS, from their official corporate account.

Tilt Five also featuring me in a blog post on their website, and using they/them pronouns!!!!

and even more Tilt Five positivity: being INVITED TO DEMO IN-PERSON AT GDC FOR HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE. I'm in this picture but you can barely see me because of the crowd. again, I'm visibly trans here - long hair, stubble, voice deepened by testosterone... and it was a non-issue.

and lastly: not only being able to publicly fundraise for LGBTQ+ causes like the Club Q healing fund without fear, but actually receiving support & donations from my employer while I do so. technically, I get PAID to fundraise as long as I use Figmin XR, like with Cover The World With Flowers!

and that's just a handful of examples!!! there was also the whole getting accepted into AR House thing (where I'm one of MULTIPLE trans people in the community), and then PERFORMING LIVE at the Marriott HQ, and then my art making it onto Adam Savage's youtube channel???!?!

I keep saying this, but I legitimately don't have words for the level of gratitude I feel. I've had other trans folks reach out and say that my visibility gives them courage, which makes me want to fight even harder to show that trans joy is REAL and POSSIBLE and that there is still so much love, despite everything.

I don't want to take for granted that it is still very much radical to just exist publicly as a trans person - and even more radical to exist publicly as a HAPPY trans person. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared being in this position, but at least I know I'm not alone. there are still so many good people fighting for us.

the album cover of my greatest hits: doomed and dead teenagers, the golden years

OoC: Gonna do some cleaning up a little, apologies for quiet.

(voice of a lesbian who is dying from lack gender-nonconforming women representation in media) please.... meiri..... don't shrink them... keep them the same size as the original.... meiri......you hear me mayriwebsbsbndna

the hugest mascest fattest butches i've ever had the delight joy and honor of knowing were all under 5'5"/165cm [my height] or comically pocket-sized for the ox strength they had you're going to deal with me shaving a few centimeters off burakh who i already make taller than in canon‼️

2024 is his year.

legitimately haven’t reread any of my own fics in fuckin MONTHS. and like. do u ever reread ur shit and go..........I DON’T??? SUCK??? AT THE WRITING THING???  WHAT???? honestly thot that what have I done to deserve this was the worst thing I’ve written this year?? well. a bitch is litcherally writing smthn v much in the same vein RN ATM dfshjhdsfjhdfsj

if byan has your phone number, you will find yourself receiving way more selfies than you want

really should finish baldur's gate before i start plotting aus in my head

God the Mirrah Chain Mail/Creighton's Chainmail is such a good armor piece I miss it so much in Elden Ring

unironically like. i do think limiting my time on social media has bettered me. i do feel like i do less doom scrolling and fearing that i’m missing out on stuff. but i’m still struggling a little bit with feeling like. i’m unable to keep friend groups. i tried a new fc in xiv but it didn’t wholly work out, and i’m still kind of feeling like there’s something wrong with me socially.

i’m still trying to do things for myself and keep up my single-person hobbies, but it still just. feels. isolating.

i love when dating apps send me notifications like "the person of your dreams could be matching with someone else" or "oops! missed a match!!" like what are normal people even doing cause I'm like first of all anyone good enough to be 'of my dreams' has got to be poly right off the bat already so like good! I hope they are! I hope the people who will love me in the future are right now enjoying themselves and learning what they want and like I hope they're happy and I hope when they meet me I will make them happier and second of all just because people are into me does NOT means I am automatically into them like I'm great I'm super hot and funny of course dudes are swiping on me but i am Fully uninterested in some fuckin mid ass straight guy who thinks women can't play dungeon and dragons ykwim like maybe I didn't miss them tinder maybe I just said no