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partrin · 7 months

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ficlet titled "rin's chompers" because i can't stop thinking about them:

"when i was younger," rin starts off as he peels a long line of skin off the tangerine in his hands, "i asked my mother about them."

haru swallows the slice he'd been chewing on contemplatively and spits its seeds into a bowl. he watches quietly as rin continues to pick at his tangerine, peeling its pith off as cleanly as he can manage. "what did she say?"

rin snorts. "she said, and i quote, 'you're part-dinosaur. it's your superpower; but don't tell anyone i said that. you shouldn't tell anyone it's your superpower either. it should be a secret.' and then she fucking winked at me. i'm convinced she just wanted to indulge in my weird obsession with dinosaurs as a kid or something, y'know? and to keep my mouth shut. anything that would keep me from questioning why i was growing canines like a goddamn carnivore. my dad never argued the logic either."

haru blinks. "you had a dinosaur phase?"

"uh, yeah? like any kid does."

"i didn't."

and now rin looks properly bemused. his eyes roll as he licks the juice that's slowly trickling down his wrist. "well that's because you're a weirdo who obsesses over creepy deep sea creatures. look," he nods at haru's t-shirt. "you're even wearing that ugly fish shirt of yours right now, at the grand age of twenty-six."

"northern stoplight loosejaw-kun is not weird or ugly." haru huffs, narrowing his eyes. "and how do you know you aren't part-stoplight loosejaw? they have sharp teeth too."

"because," rin says through gritted teeth, "i'm not. not fucking part-stoplight loose-whatever. not part-dinosaur either, okay? can we drop it?"

haru sighs. "fine. so does this mean no one knows why your teeth are..." he makes some sort of vague motion with his hands, waving them in front of his own mouth, "...like that?"

"no," rin replies dejectedly. he deflates a little upon admission, shoulders sinking like they bear the weight of the world. "no, no one does. not even my dentist."

they both turn and look at you, blinking like they're hoping you can come up with some sort of epiphany on behalf of them.

"do you know why my teeth are like this?"

#free!#rinharu #ficlet #i keep thinking about rin's teeth and how NO ONE KNOWS WHY HIS TEETH ARE LIKE THAT #so yes accept my little drabble as i address the elephant in the room #HE HAD NORMAL TEETH AS A CHILD SO WHY #drabble

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heungtanbts · 5 years

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“I don’t know what the protocol is for revealing your secret identity so, hi? Surprise?” with any member!

drabble #4: you have every bit of my (immortal) heart.

“So… all those monthly business trips…”

“Spent in the forests and mountains, sometimes in-state, sometimes out of state, but usually just on the north side.”

“And all those times you fainted… do, do they have anything to do with…”

Namjoon nods, his expression serious, almost solemn. “Happens when I’m low on energy and need to fuel up.”

“So that’s why giving you food and water never helped in those situations.” You slowly piece your thoughts and memories together, your voice a bit shaky.

“It’s why I have my own emergency stash, just in case that ever happens.”

You hesitate, “And when you say fuel up, you mean…”

Namjoon searches your expression carefully. You hate how he always seem to see right through you, but not the other way around. It’s always been harder to read his thoughts, he’s just so good at keeping a stoic face in times like this (Did that have anything to do with all of this as well? Does he also have the ability to mask his feelings with the ultimate poker face or something? You make note to ask that once the shock has worn off).

“I feed on animal blood, not humans, if that’s what you’re wondering about.” He hasn’t moved an inch since this conversation started, standing still like a marble statue a good five or six feet away in the middle of your living room. A tiny, itsy bitsy part of you is thankful for the distance just because you feel like you need a second to breathe, but the rest of you is just itching to touch him. Smush your cheek against his chest, breathe in his familiar scent, feel his hands on you, his body near you. It doesn’t matter how confusing and sudden this all is, you just really want to be in his arms right now. After all, Namjoon’s the best at comforting you. But you fight the urge, even though he looks like he could use your comfort too. First things first - you have to address the elephant in the room.

“So,” You begin, licking your lips nervously. You don’t miss how Namjoon’s gaze immediately settles on your mouth, his dark eyes following the quick movement of your tongue. You force yourself to ignore it. “So what you’re saying is you’re a vampire.”

At that, Namjoon lets out a big sigh, running a hand down his face. He looks exasperated? Torn? Sad? Guilty? You don’t even know at this point.

“I don’t know what the protocol is for revealing your secret identity so, hi? Surprise?” He probably said that to try to make you laugh and lighten the mood a little, but your thoughts are too busy running amuck, so you miss the chance to react and frankly just can’t find the reaction in you. It seems like he senses this because his expression falls.

When he realizes you’re not going to reply to him any time soon, Namjoon takes a small, careful step towards you, his eyes never leaving yours. “Yes, love, that’s what I am.” It’s like he’s expecting you to make a run for it at any second with how slowly he’s inching towards you. His hands twitch at his side, as if he‘s debating whether he should reach out to you or not. He seems so scared, but of what, you don’t know.

“I- I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. That I’ve kept such a dangerous secret like this from you for so long.” Namjoon’s eyes suddenly widen, “Not that you were ever in danger with me. It’s- it’s been a long time that I’ve been this way-”

“Like how long?”

“…Long.”

“Try me.”

“Um, like 208 years long? Something like that, I have it written down somewhere.” He waves his hand dismissively.

“208?! Like two-zero-eight?! Good god.” You wouldn’t be able to keep track of your age either if you were 208 years old. You’ve always joked how Namjoon is like an old, wise grandpa with how he talks about things, but with this new tidbit of information, that takes on a whole new meaning.

“Anyway, it’s been a minute that I’ve been like this, so I’m pretty confident in my ability to control myself. I’ve had many years to develop self control, so even though your blood smells like a fucking dream-“ He abruptly stops his babbling altogether, a look of horror now spreading across his face. He whispers a sharp expletive under his breath and cards a hand through his hair, visibly frustrated.

“Wait, that’s not what I meant, I’ve never thought about biting you. Actually, ok, well fuck I take that back, that’s a lie, I have thought about it before. I- I’m sorry babe.” He looks like he wants to punch himself, hard. “My sense of smell is like seven times better than a dog’s so it’s impossible for me to ignore your scent. And let me just say that I have never smelled someone as delectable as you. But I swear on my damned immortal life that I’ve never ever tried to get a taste. I would never… I would never hurt you”

Namjoon can’t seem to look at you anymore and it looks like he suddenly finds the floor much easier to stare at.

This man who’s usually so cool and composed and towers over you by far in height and stature suddenly looks so small, so lost, like an abandoned child. And the sight of him like this pulls at your heart. Sure, this is all a shock and you’re definitely going to need some time to process it all, what with suddenly finding out your boyfriend is an immortal, blood-feasting vampire. But still, all that matters right now is that Namjoon looks like he just lost something precious for good, and you need to let him know that that’s not the case.

He’s still staring at his sock-clad feet when you step forward to close the gap between the two of you. You move slowly as well, knowing how delicate the situation is, how delicate he is right now, but he still flinches when he feels your warm hand gingerly take a hold of his cold, smooth one. Luckily he doesn’t pull away and let’s you intertwine your fingers with his, even though he is noticeably tense from head to toe.

“Namjoon.” Hearing your soft voice causes him to bite his lower lip, and for the first time since you’ve started dating him, you see fear in his eyes. You hate that that fear has something to do with you. “Baby, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Namjoon’s frozen as he listens, and you’re pretty sure he’s not breathing, but that might just be because the rumor that vampires don’t need to breathe is true. You’ll have to ask about that too, when the time is right.

“Is that what’s scaring you? Me leaving you, because you’re a vampire?” He winces once that word leaves you mouth, like it’s a curse or the harshest of insults.

“I would, if I were you.” Namjoon softly mutters, his head hanging low in defeat. You draw even closer to eliminate the rest of the space between the two of you, eyes fixed on his expression. Namjoon has never cried in front of you before (Can vampires cry? Do vampires cry? So many questions…) but you already know the look of pure agony on his face is so much worse than imagining him shed tears. For once, you can actually read him crystal clear - this is killing him.

“I think you have a lot of explaining to do, and I have a lot of questions.” You say after a moment of silence. You draw in a deep breath, a small but reassuring smile crossing your features, “But no matter what happens or what comes to light, you’re still just Joonie to me. Still and forever my Joon bug.” You gently caress his cheek with your free hand, now noticing even more just how smooth and porcelain-like his skin is. “I trust you, Joon-ah. I mean, we’ve been dating for a year and if you’ve been able to hold yourself back for that long even though I’m as ‘delectable’ as you say I am, I think I can trust you to not kill me.” You joke lightly.

“You can do more than just trust me.” Namjoon suddenly asserts, apparently not taking that statement lightly, grabbing a hold of the hand that is resting on his cheek, “I would force myself to learn how to live off of human food and water for the rest of my life if I had to, just to prove how much you mean to me. What I am, what I need, the ways of this life, it all doesn’t matter.” He gingerly lifts your hands to brush his cool lips gently across your knuckles. “I love you, and I’d give up any and every aspect of my life without so much as a breath of hesitation if it’s for you. Just say the word, love, and it’s done.”

That’s all you need to hear for the remnants of the shock and confusion to vanish in thin air. This man loves you - and you trust him with your life.

Without another moment to waste, you come up onto your toes and hook your arms around Namjoon’s neck, your lips pressing onto his fully without a beat of hesitation. At first he seems petrified, almost cemented in place, like he’s afraid to give in and accept that this is reality. But then his response happens at an inhuman speed, two solid arms suddenly wrapped around your waist, his cool lips suddenly and fervently moving against your warmth. His embrace is tight but not uncomfortably tight. He’s being careful, he’s been nothing but careful and gentle and loving all this time when it comes to you.

He kisses you like you may flee from him at any moment, like he’s trying to further convince you to stay, his teeth and tongue clashing wildly with yours. You kiss him back like you plan on spending the rest of eternity with him, your movements slower but just as urgent. Slowly but surely, you sense his relief in the way his muscles relax, his kisses slowing to a more languid pace, his hands no longer holding you like you might slip away, but now as if he’s in possession of the most invaluable treasure in the world. His sharp fangs graze against your tongue as it slips past his lips, but it doesn’t scare you. At this point the man could have four extra arms and a third eye and you wouldn’t care one bit. Because he still loves you the same, he’s still your Joonie, and you are absolutely crazy about him.

It feels like both an eternity and just the blink of an eye when you pull away first to catch your breath. Namjoon, on the other hand, looks completely unaffected, confirming the whole “vampires don’t need to breathe” thing. The only difference you notice is the golden glow of his irises, which definitely wasn’t there earlier. You absentmindedly trace your index finger across one of his eyebrows, in awe of the beautiful, iridescent flecks of color.

“I’ve always wondered,” You mumble quietly, heart thrumming rapidly against your chest, still recovering from that out-of-this-world kiss. (If his sense of smell is that good, you can imagine he can hear just how embarrassingly fast your heart is racing, and it’s all because of him.) “I always thought my eyes were just playing tricks on me, but your eyes turn gold like that quite often. Does it mean anything?”

Smiling like he’s got the entire universe in his arms, Namjoon can barely stop himself from pressing light kisses to your forehead, cheeks, nose, everywhere he can reach in that moment, his fingers gently skimming across the skin of your low back under your shirt. But he manages to pause for a second to answer you, his eyes shimmering more brilliantly than ever. “It means that I’m happy, so unbelievably happy.”

Your heart melts. Yes, you’re absolutely sure of it now. That as long as you have Namjoon, nothing else matters, nothing at all.

—

A/N: a lot of the time, vampire!aus describe vampires as cold hearted, stoic, immune to emotion and unable to love. so it was refreshing to write about seemingly cold and stoic but actually very emotional and vulnerable vampire!namjoon :) hope you enjoyed!

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littlepanduh-writes-365 · 4 years

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Opinion of RPF

tw// mentions of depression and anxiety

howdy doo everyone~

I’ve been writing and rewriting this letter for the past few days. There are many thoughts that I wanted to include, but I’m constantly worried about the longevity and potential curtness of some topics. I’m also worried that my opinions are going to backlash on me, but I came to the conclusion that in order for me to be a better person and a better writer, I need to accept criticism. I just ask that if you do send me criticism or questions, please be patient and understanding with the response time. I try to handle things sensitively which means I put a lot of thought into my answer and writing. I also admit that I get rattled easily and I want to give you answers when my head is clearer.

This has been something that’s been on my mind for many years actually. It’s caused me to stop reading and writing many times. At this point, it’s becoming a vicious cycle and I don’t know whether I want to continue it anymore or just give it up and find something else to do. If you’re reading this, I hope you can at least gain insight and understanding because some other authors may have felt this way and if you have the time, I’d appreciate some feedback. I know this document is long, so I’m really thankful if you can bear through it.

I have been reading and writing fanfiction for about 11 years. I have been writing for k-pop on and off for 7 years now. Although writing has been a great hobby and outlet and the k-pop writing community has proven to be a safe space for me, I still tend to have internal conflicts about the ethics of Real Person Fanfiction (RPF). I have a very long explanation of my philosophy of writing, which I encourage you to read if you read many of my fics, but to break it down, I acknowledge that there’s a lot of responsibility when writing for the k-pop fandom.

I know these are real-life people and it’s possible that readers might get the wrong idea when reading my fics. I want you to know that when I write my fics, I’m not exactly thinking of that specific person. This sounds kinda horrible because it’s blunt, but when it all boils down, I’m basically just using them as a face claim. It’s easier for me, especially since I write a lot of shorter fics and drabbles, because I don’t have to spend a whole page describing a character, like how authors of books normally do. A lot of what I write comes from personal experiences so I usually think of a plot and then decide which person fits my character. I admit that I do choose characters based off of the idols’ personalities/personas, but I’m not going to hold it against them in real life. I sometimes adjust my character to the “real” personality of the idol, but not so much. I’m pretty sure a lot of k-pop fanfic writers feel this way (and I can imagine readers feel that way too), which is why I encourage you to read the extension of this memo which digs into specific topics, like writing idolverse/”canon” and smut.

If you are a writer, I hope you have a similar philosophy that respects the people we write about and also reflects on a potential cultural impact you can make. If you are a reader, I hope you take an author’s intentions into account when you are reading. It’s not just writing out a fantasy, but there are thoughts and emotions writers want to express or a lesson to teach. Sometimes people do write just for fun and it’s normally okay, but it varies case by case on whether the intention is appropriate.

Sometimes it is hard to see those intentions, especially when it’s not explicitly written out like this or authors chose to be vague about endings or “what happened last summer” or something like that. Depending on the situation, the uncertainty is a key factor in their style or storytelling, but if you’re uncomfortable about it, you have the right to voice it out. This is why it’s so important to communicate with authors by the means of commenting. Jumping to conclusions is very disrespectful to a writer and that’s not fair for fanfic writers who are doing this for free. Conversations like, “where do you get this idea from?” or “did you mean this when you said that?” clarify the intentions of the author. (If you have a strong opinion or interpretation, you may want to preface in your comment that because you might just come off as rude and taking control over the story.) Many authors might say, “it’s up for any interpretation”, but will give their own insight. In my opinion, if authors don’t give you the time of day or completely shut down your opinions, I understand if you start forming your own opinions. (I don’t believe social media slander is the way to go but maybe appropriate if they ignore the problem.) Depending on the writer, they are busy, so please be considerate of their own personal schedules. Don’t demand a quick response time or a public apology. Reading and writing are supposed to be cathartic and empathy-inducing and distracting and fun. Your opinions are valid. (I have to add on that if you chose to ignore things like trigger warnings and tags, that is on you.)

You may be wondering, why am I writing this letter? I seem to know my limits. I try not to be a problematic person. It doesn’t seem like my writing is problematic either. I’d like to believe these things, but I recognize that these are all subjective. I am not necessarily going to be completely transparent with you because that’s a whole lot of layers and I don’t want to just force all of that on you, but I will be open with you about things that I’ve already put out.

I’m predicting that the people who are reading this memo have only been reading my recent works/works I’ve posted on AO3. If you don’t know this, I am also on AFF and tumblr. Although a lot of my stuff (especially the one-shots on tumblr) is pretty lighthearted and surficial, I have written about deeper and darker topics: character death and mourning, cheating, panic attacks, and a pole dancer. I have also included themes of drinking, swearing, and implied sex. These range from passive mentions to having the whole story revolve around that topic. I recognize that these can be uncomfortable themes, which is why I try to relay my intentions and sensitivity through Extended Author’s Notes, content warnings per chapter and tags, taking forever to edit, and writing long responses to comments. I choose to write about these topics because I personally get tired of seeing similar fics and, again, I just need an outlet.

Allow me to address a… hyena in the room (yeah, not an elephant). I don’t usually flash this card, nor do I feel 100% comfortable talking about this, but I’m just going to come clean and say that I suffer from depression and anxiety. No, you don’t need to feel sympathetic or look at my writing differently. Please don’t do that. That’s not why I’m telling you this. I mostly want to say that, yes, I have these mental illnesses, but I also acknowledge that it doesn’t excuse any toxic behavior. I have written when my anxiety-induced insomnia gets to me or when I’m having a particularly low week. I try to edit when I’m more stable, but again, that’s pretty subjective. I try so hard to cope properly and I do use other methods besides writing. I talk to my friends to make sure I don’t isolate too much. I’ve ventured into music and dance. Admittedly, things have been harder with this pandemic. I’m not a perfect person and I admit that I slip up every once in a while. You might see it in my writing. Sometimes, I’m rereading a paragraph for the 12th time and I’ll be completely jaded over the intensity of the emotions I wrote 3 months ago because it comes to the point that I’m just looking at words. The words that I wrote at 2AM after a self-loathing day seem completely different two weeks later after a deep talk with my best friend. One day, it’ll hurt me, and the next, it’ll mean nothing. I’m not sure how it’ll affect you. I acknowledge that my readers come from different walks of life and different experiences. I want to respect that. If something bothers you, please do not hesitate to communicate with me.

I know I don’t act like it all the time, especially on Twitter, but I am an adult and I’m trying to handle at least my mental health like an adult. I write about mature topics and as a writer, I recognize that I need to handle the reception maturely as well.

The “best woman of this generation” once said this about her group. “Even if there are good times, there could also be times when you feel disappointed or feel regret or get angry or annoyed… Just do things that you like. Resolve your mood, then come back to Red Velvet… It’s not “always like Red Velvet”. I’d like for your guys to find many, many diverse things to enjoy… I do really want you all to be happy.” I am in no way in the same league as Red Velvet or Ms. Bae Joohyun, but I’d like to keep that humble mentality. You don’t have to support every fic I write. You don’t have to support my entire story. You don’t have to approve of every topic I write about or the messages I relay. (I would like to hear your thoughts, but you are not obligated to do so.) The beauty of these sites is that you can come and go whenever you would like. I get it. Life happens. Things change. Opinions change. You’re valid. If ever you want to come back to my story or maybe finish one that you never continued, you are always welcome to do so.

I, myself, have stopped reading fics, even if they were good. I’m not just talking about ongoing fics that lost its flare. I’m also talking about completed fics or fics that have over 500 Kudos or were Featured on AFF. Sometimes the topics are too deep. Sometimes, I just need to emotionally prepare myself for an update. Sometimes I lose interest. I’m sure the author might feel a little hurt, but that’s just how life is. I don’t spend a lot of my time reading and writing fics. In the end, I’m going to finish the fics that kept me interested.

Alright, if you’ve made it this far, congratulations. Serious conversation is over (for now). Thank you for your tolerance, patience, and understanding. If you are someone that reads my stories, thank you for your support. If you are someone who enjoys my stories, thank you for your love. With the time that I have, I’m working hard to be a better writer, but most importantly, I’m working harder to be a better person. The k-pop community has been a safe place for me and I want to continue letting it be that way.

Stay safe and healthy everyone <3 Until next update

Click here to read my in-depth opinions about writing. (Skip to page 4.)

#just needed to get this off my chest #something happened on twitter #and it made me think about writing for kpop #so yeah #hope this gives you some insight #please expect some more writing soon #thank you

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