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justwonder113 · 3 years

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Midnight adventures

Matsukawa Issei x f.reader

WARNING: Angst to fluff, Slowburn, friends to lovers, mutual pining, kinda long and decent amount of cursing cuz I have no shame. Both reader and Matsun are kind of dumb.

word count 6.5k

You loved him, you really did, even though he sometimes drove you out of your mind and made you want to bash his head against the wall. And he knew that. He knew what kind of effect he had on you and he was amused by it. He knew just to push the right buttons, he knew how to rile you up.

You were like an open book to him, so of course he knew you had a crush on him from the start, and you knew that he was aware of your feelings. At first, you were reluctant and refused to admit having the slightest feelings for him, but after some time you accepted the fact and realized that at some point you made your feelings seem obvious. Well, he was your first actual crush, and you were inexperienced.

Your friends would also tease you a lot and at some point, they locked you two together so you could finally confess. It was after their match against shiratorizawa in the third year. That was the day you had your first kiss with him, honestly, you didn't know what happened that night, one moment you were arguing with him because he wanted to leave the team, you were basically yelling how amazing player and teammate he was and the next second you were kissing each other. You expected that after he would confess to you, but he never did. He acted with you like the kiss never happened and that really broke you.

Maybe that is why after all these years you decided to move away, both literally and emotionally. You spent all your high school years waiting for him, waiting for him to make a move, but before you knew it you graduated. You finished school not even holding hands with another boy because you thought he felt the same, you thought that maybe you could be together? But now you realized that it was all load of bullshit. Why did you have to go so far for a person who didn't care about you that much? Why did you have to hold back when he never said no to all the attention he got from girls? You knew that they meant nothing to him and that he only saw them as one-time flings but it still really hurt you. Did you even mean something to him?

You felt mad at yourself, you wasted all these years swooning over someone who didn't return your feelings. But the thing that angered you the most was that you still weren't over him. Your heart would still flutter like crazy whenever you saw him and as much as you hated it he looked better and better every time. You also hated the fact that you couldn't blame him for all this pain, you couldn't tell that you were heartbroken because he didn't love you, that wasn't much of a reason. You were the silly one here. Why were you even surprised? He knew you for years as friends. He probably only saw you as a friend and considered the kiss as a mistake.

To be honest, he never did anything wrong, he always treated you warmly, and with respect, he liked to piss you off but he never really crossed the line, you couldn't blame him for not loving you. You guys kissed like one time, he probably regretted it and didn't want to hurt your feelings that's why he never brought it up after that. He gave you space. He didn't tell you in your face that he didn't return your feelings, he never broke your heart, you were just the silly one, clinging tightly to that miserable string of hope. You were the weak one for falling for him. It would have been better if he screwed up, if he told you that he could never look at you romantically, maybe it would make you feel a little better, your heart would break but you would get over it? But no destiny said that he had to be perfect.

When you moved away to University you promised yourself that you would start everything from the fresh page, you would work on yourself and no longer be that helpless girl who couldn't even get over her crush. You spent months working on your self-confidence and other issues, you spent countless time getting yourself into shape. Let's say you worked on yourself pretty hard. And it paid off, you had finished university and were about to start your dream job, you had gotten an offer many would dream of, you did everything you wanted, you even got in a few relationships, you should have been satisfied right? Then why didn't feel so? Why was there a feeling of emptiness inside your soul and why was no one able to fill it? It made you furious, after all these years, how could you not move on? Why did you Think about Matsukawa when you kissed other men? Why did you keep comparing everyone to him? What did he even do to deserve a permanent place in your heart? Your heart still kept beating like crazy and it's been what? years? you were in your twenties already, you needed to move on!

You were back in the city to celebrate your friends' victory over his rivals. Oikawa being the flashy person he is decided to throw the biggest party possible and now here you were. You knew you would meet him here, he was his friend as much as you after all, but you didn't expect it to hurt this much. As you said time really had done its job on him, he looked more mature now, he was slightly taller and definitely more muscular, he decided to grow his hair too, you always knew that he would look amazing with slightly longer hair, he had also gotten a few tattoos that were seen through his rolled-up black shirt. Man, did it suit him, the shirt was a bit tight fit and it really complimented his muscular form. The tattoos looked amazing on him and were these rings he was wearing? And piercings! And he had his nails painted black, Really life? He looked like your dream man, thank you very much for nothing!

You knew you would run into him today and you tried to look your best, you knew it was silly but you felt like showing off, but after seeing him you felt kind of self-conscious. You wondered if your dress was a good choice, you chose it as it hugged your curves perfectly and really complimented them but now you were wondering if it was too much. Was your hair alright? You hoped it didn't get frizzy. Oh god, why was everyone staring at you? Your lipstick didn't smudge, right? Even though you were having a war inside your head it simply washed away in an instant as you saw the face of your best friend who was grinning like crazy. You quickly headed to her and engulfed them in a tight hug. God, you missed themso much! You felt lucky just by having them in your life, and they really helped you get through with your issues,they were with you every step of the way and you couldn't be more thankful. If it wasn't for them and your friends you doubted you would be standing here right now. Even though you still felt self-conscious sometimes like now overall you were a pretty confident person who radiated power. Even when you felt weak you managed to look powerful. Maybe this was your resting bitch face? You didn't know. You felt thankful that he didn't notice you he was too busy talking with some woman, typical.

"I missed you so much! Can't believe I'm seeing you after all this time. I really missed you all. And meeting on an occasion like this we just have to celebrate our reunion, I knew Oikawa would beat their asses someday," you grinned proudly. "Okay, I'm getting carried away, I really missed you tho. We have to catch on, let's ditch your them later and have some fun!" You ranted as you occasionally squeezed your best friend who kept chuckling.

"Now now Y/N-chan, you just came back don't go stealing my friends from me!" Oikawa came out of nowhere and snatched your best friend away from you, you pouted but chuckled in the end.

"Can't make promises Flattykawa. And in my defense, I knew them longer." You teased and made a face at him, Oikawa fake gasped and clutched his heart a smile never leaving his face. You missed this idiot and his dramatic shenanigans so bad.

"Again with a nickname! Y/F/N-chan she's being mean!" Your friend only chuckled at Oikawa's childlike behavior and patted his hand.

"She has a point tho." Your friend teased along.

"Betrayed by you too! What else should I expect today?" He whined, you only chuckled and opened your arms.

"I really missed you, you dork! I'm really proud of you," you said sweetly, Oikawa immediately hugged you, you smiled at the familiar warmth, Oikawa has been like an annoying brother to you, you weren't used to not hearing his constant whining and antics even after all these years living apart from them.

"I really missed you too! Nothing's the same without you!" You smiled at Oikawa's warm comment. You were glad they missed you the same way you missed them. You really tried to visit as frequently as you could but it was hard when all of you were covered in work. Out of all third years, Hanamaki and Matsukawa stayed in Japan, you and others left the country for Universities. You felt really emotional, it had been such a long time without them...

"Look at her, hugging Oikawa and Y/f/n-chan first, don't mind me I'm just gonna stand here until you decide to acknowledge me. I thought we had something special Y/n, you're breaking my heart here." You heard a deep voice behind you, you smiled and turned back smirking.

"I would say she has her priorities set right? I mean it's me you are talking about,"Oikawa boasted, Your friend giggled.

"Missed you too Hiro," you grinned as you playfully hit his shoulder then hugged him. It was good to be home.

"Where's my grizzly bear?" You asked as you searched the crowd for the angry spiky head.

"He's at the bar probably, Oikawa managed to talk his ears out already, he left a minute ago saying "I'm not drunk enough for this shit!" I'm sure he will be happy to see you." Makki smiled and wrapped his hand around your shoulder you smiled and leaned in on his touch. You had missed this so much!

You spent most of the evening chatting with people and having a nice time. Oikawa for sure knew how to throw a party, you even danced with some charming men. You felt uneasy tho, you and Matsukawa made eye contact a few times but none of you even moved to say something, you just smiled at each other awkwardly. Over the night you noticed how many girls approached him, well it wasn't surprising, he was a good looking young man, but you couldn't help but feel a tinge of annoyance on the inside. In the end, you tried your best to be your charming self. You talked to many different men and even danced with more of them, moving your hips passionately along the music. But you felt bored in the end. None of them were interesting, they didn't have a fire you wanted. How long were you going to be like this? Wasn't there someone who could I don't know sweep you off your feet?

Suddenly you felt overwhelmed, the alcohol was starting to kick in and you swayed your hips with a bit more passion, your best friend was next to you, Oikawa had left you two alone to have your time.

"You haven't talked to him right?" As always, Your friend guessed what was bothering you in a second.

"No, and I'm not planning on doing so. If he didn't think I were at least a little bit important than the girls he was talking to then I'm not going to interfere. I have self-respect. He didn't even bother to say hi." You rolled your eyes and chugged another shot, the alcohol mildly burned your throat but you were used to the feeling. You just felt like dancing and maybe even washing your worries away. You wanted to have fun, and you had a reason too, your friend won a gold medal and defeated his rivals! You decided to go and do another shot, getting near the bar, you noticed a familiar spiky head, you smiled and got closer finally sitting next to the buff man.

"Is this seat taken handsome?" You asked seductively, Iwaizumi's shoulders tensed for a second but he relaxed as soon as he saw your grinning face.

"Y/N!" He greeted you with a smile and got up, you were quick to wrap your hand around him.

"Good to see you, daddy." You grinned teasingly, Iwaizumi flushed immediately. You had a habit of teasing him, you often called him daddy because of his aggressive yes, but caring demeanor, and you really enjoyed it when he got flustered. Truth be told you were probably the only person who got away with teasing him without getting punched or kicked.

"God, when will you stop with the dumb nickname? People are going to get a very wrong idea, it's embarrassing," he grumbled and pointed to the bartender by his eyes, who was looking at you from time to time sneakily, he heard you and was shocked, you smirked and gave him a wink, making the boy blush harder. You smiled, as you eyed the boy he was definitely cute.

"I will stop when you won't have an adorable reaction like this," you teased, Iwaizumi only scoffed, but he didn't look mad.

"It's awfully early for you to start drinking, did Oikawa really talk your ears out?" You chuckled, Iwaizumi scoffed again but he looked amused.

"Unfortunately for me yes, I swear to God he never stops talking." You chuckled, it was such an Oikawa thing to do.

"Yeah, I'm glad Oikawa won, I'm sorry for your team but he did work really hard for it and really deserved it." You smiled fondly after noticing Oikawa dancing with your best friend over some cheezy song which probably he had chosen.

"Yeah, I'm glad too. You should have seen him tho, the all smug Oikawa crying nonstop like a baby after he realized he had won, well of course after they left the court, he was like Iwa-chan I did it!" Iwaizumi mimicked Oikawa's crying voice, you giggled. It sounded like Oikawa, "Don't laugh, who do you think had to stop him from crying? "Iwaizumi shuddered as you had a hard time holding your laughter. You had such a good time, you didn't even notice a pair of dark brown eyes observing your giggling form.

"Now all I can see is Oikawa clinging to you like a koala and crying his eyes out." Iwaizumi only looked at you with an unamused face, making you raise your hands in defeat, the deadly aura didn't go unnoticed by you. Iwaizumi rarely lost his cool around you, but it didn't mean you were immune to his rage. "I'm only kidding, Iwa baby, please don't get mad at me." You lightly pouted as you made puppy dog eyes at him, he only sighed and took another sip from his drink, you smiled and ordered a drink, you visibly relaxed, you didn't feel on edge anymore.

You talked for a while, but unfortunately for you, Iwaizumi had to leave, apparently drunk Oikawa was somewhere causing some trouble. You found it suspicious that was too much even for Oikawa but you didn't question it. Iwaiizumi only grumbled in annoyance and left, being used to all this stuff. You, on the other hand, Made small talk with the cute bartender, he was really good looking and surprisingly very charming and smooth. You were quite drunk already and you were feeling needy, so now here you were making out with him in some empty hallway. He was a good kisser, but you still didn't feel any spark. You wanted to feel the same tingling sensation as the one you felt when you had your first kiss with Issei. The situation was not at all romantic as you said, Oikawa and others locked you in the lockers, to make up after you had a little fight. You bickered at each other for a while, well it was you who was really arguing, you were really mad at him because he was bringing himself down and planned on leaving the team, and you were trying to get to his scull how amazing he actually was and soon your lips were against each other and it felt like the most magical feeling in the whole world. You had never felt anything like that when you kissed others and today was no exception, unfortunately for you. You tried to take the lead in the kiss maybe to make it feel more enjoyable for you but before you could even try, a hand made the man separate from you. You opened your eyes to see Issei, who didn't have a very pleased expression.

"I have business with Y/N, so I don't know, get lost?" Issei said without any emotion. You looked at him dumbfounded. He didn't even bother saying hi earlier, what business would he have with you? The boy, Souma was it? Looked at you two before speaking.

"Dude what the hell we were busy!" He groaned as he glared at Issei, who didn't seem really fazed.

"Do I really look like I care?" Matsukawa asked plainly, You took the chance to straighten up.

"Listen here you little..." Souma stopped before he would go on, as he felt chills run down his spine under Matsukawa's cold glare. You sighed and straightened up.

"I guess it's pretty important, I will contact you later ok?" You asked sweetly, but you both knew you weren't going to contact him. You didn't even have his number and you hadn't given him yours. Souma grumbled and left leaving you with Issei.

As soon as he left you were quick to smack Issei's arm. "Dude, what the fuck?" He only looked at you, grabbed your arm, and led you through the hallway. "What's with the cockblocking? He didn't seem too bad."

"I didn't like him." He said like it was the most obvious thing. It made you feel mad.

"Oh sorry, next time I will choose someone you might like, for future references what type of boys are you into?" You snarled lightly. You wanted to break free from his grasp but it was too strong. Soon your back made contact with the cold wall, and you were caged between Issei's strong arms. You tried to protest but before you could even say a word his lips were on you. You didn't know how to act, your whole body went stiff but after a second you felt your body relaxing.

"God, you're beautiful." He said as he kissed you again, his big hands snaking around your waist. You were speechless, you didn't really realize what was going on. But your body felt like it was on fire. His lips kept brushing against yours just perfectly, your skin was burning hot under his touch. Your heart was beating like crazy, you only managed to whimper against him and he took this as a chance to deepen the kiss. You tried to keep up but it was physically impossible. His kiss was deep and passionate, kind of possessive too. You could feel all his lust through it. You moaned lightly, unable to control yourself. You put your hands on his chest, you could even feel his strong yet fast heartbeat, you pushed lightly, Issei took the hint and leaned back. He stared at you, admiring your beautiful form, you looked so pretty all flustered and breathless, he had wanted to do this for such a long time, for the whole night you had basically been teasing him and his patience was running thin.

"What came over you. I..." You didn't know what to say, you were so confused.

"Do you remember our random sneak outs in highschool?" How could you forget, you just lived for the tiny adventures you, Makki and he used to have at three am. Sometimes when Hiro didn't feel like coming, you would go with him instead. Eating ice cream or random junk food at three am on your special spot, you lived for it. Sometimes you didn't even talk for a whole night but still felt so comfortable. Your chest tightened again at the memory. But why bring it up now? This didn't explain all the raging questions you had.

You nodded your head quietly, looking at him through glossy eyes. "I do. Why?" Your voice was so weak it made you cringe. You didn't know, what was this about? Why bring it up now.

"Would you go on an adventure with me? I know it's Oikawa's special day, but Y/N I... We both know that we need to talk." You looked up at him with wide eyes, you had never seen him like this, he looked so serious and desperate too? Despite feeling all furious and all you nodded and let him lead you through the crowd and to his car.

"I will text him, he might get worried. But what should I say? Where are we even going? We're in Tokyo, don't tell me we're going to Miyagi!" You asked as you sat down in his car, you were confused, all this stuff was confusing you.

"No, I don't plan to take you to Miyagi, I was thinking of ordering a shit ton of junk food via drive-in and then taking you to the place I found earlier. Don't worry I'm sure you will like it." Issei assured you as he got in his car, started the engine, and started driving.

"Are you really trying to get on my good side via food? I'm really mad it's not going to be that easy." You furrowed your eyebrows, Issei huffed a laugh.

"Maybe I am? We both know that you will sell your soul to satan for a bag of doritos! If I keep your mouth busy while I tell you something at least I won't have to worry about you biting my head off," Issei pointed out like it was the most obvious argument while smirking proudly, you scoffed.

"I will hit you so hard after you stop the car, I'm not doing it now because I value my life. And besides, it's not about whether or not I will like the place. It can be next to a strip bar or some abandoned place, what's important is that you will say and you know that." You said as a matter of fact and turned away from him, looking through the window.

"I know." He sighed after a second, the atmosphere was heavy, opposite of what you were used to. You started liking Mattsun because things were easy with him and that it was full adventures, but now... You had to calculate everything you said, how you moved, how you looked at him, and stuff. When did it become so painful to be in the same space as him? And the stuff he wanted to tell you terrified you. What if he admitted that he never saw you seriously? That he only felt desire for you at some doing and nothing else. You didn't even know what made him act up today, did he have at least the slightest feelings for you or did he just found desirable in that tight dress? Maybe he just didn't like the face another man tried to take you away. Either way, anxiety was eating you from the inside. Your heart kept beating rapidly and your fingers actually hurt from playing too hard with them.

You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't even notice how he ordered and got the food. You only came back to reality only when he opened your door gently took your hand in his big one. "We're here." He helped you get out of it. The cold air immediately hit you, making you shiver slightly. "Here take this." He said as he put his jacket on your shoulders, it was so big you were basically swimming in it but on the contrary, it was really warm and soft and it smelled like him! Just perfect, you immediately snuggled in. Mattsun then took the food package from the backseat. He quickly locked the car and led you through again. You were now in front of a big clearly abandoned building, you hesitated for a second and tightened your grip around his hand, Issei looked at you, carefully examining your face."Are you feeling scared? I promise it's a safe place, I have been here. You still like exploring weird buildings like this right?" He teased lightly, squeezing back your hand. You only pouted.

"I do like exploring buildings like this, but when I said abandoned building I was joking you know that right? I like these kinds of places but not in dresses like this and especially not in high heels. I like being prepared to run from my life if there's a huge creep or some sort of monster, I don't know! And I haven't done something like that for such a long time, and we're not in Miyagi too, everything's new here!" You said as a matter of fact while playing with your hair, Issei only chuckled. You felt nervous. Before you could even comprehend what was happening Issei had already picked you over his shoulder. You felt like a sack of potatoes.

"Oh my god, Matsun what are you doing? Put me down!" You tried squirming away at the same time you clutched his shirt too afraid to fall. He started laughing, you felt vibrations through his back, you couldn't help but smile, you liked when he laughed.

"No way, I like carrying you and I have the best view too so no way princess."You could tell he was grinning while looking at your ass and it made you mumble in annoyance. You gasped when he spanked your bottom lightly, you smacked his back in response. "Do you like the view?"

"Shut up!" You whined, which made him chuckle harder. "Put me down, my dress is short!" You started wiggling again, but he had a death grip on you. You could feel the blood rushing to your face and at this point, you were not sure if it was from embarrassment, just having your head low and blood rushing to your head or just anger.

After a minute of him walking and you admiring his ass, he finally put you down. You looked around, the building was empty, there was no furniture and some of the walls were covered in graffiti. Other than that you enjoyed the place, it had a certain vibe to it. You wandered for a second, exploring the room. When you turned around you didn't see him, you walked around and eventually came out on the huge veranda. The sight made you gasp, Issei had laid the blankets on the floor and taken out the food, it looked so cozy! There were some pillows too. It was just like a little picnic, the dim streetlights also shone nicely with some fairy lights there and there and the sight in front of you of the night city was magnificent. Everything looked so simple yet so perfect.

"Okay, stop or I might have to actually marry you." You pointed at everything dramatically, you couldn't contain your smile. Everything looked like the pics you have seen on social media or in the movies. Issei smiled at you softly, you looked so cute all excited like that. His jacket really suited you too, you looked so perfect.

"I knew you would like this. I'm glad you actually agreed to come." He smiled and patted space next to him, you sighed and sat carefully, holding down your dress, it was short at it was you didn't want it to slide up too much.

"You knew I wouldn't refuse such tempting request, didn't you? I always liked our little adventures," you smiled fondly, recalling sweet high school memories.

You spent few minutes in silence watching the city, eating there and there, but it wasn't uncomfortable like before, your anxiety had calmed down a little too. You just sat there and enjoyed the moment. You didn't even notice when he took your hand but you didn't bother to take it back. You wished you could stay like this forever but you also knew it was wrong. You had to ask the question, even if hearing it could destroy you. You both knew that.

"Matsu, why did you kiss me earlier? I'm trying to understand what's going on between us but now I'm especially confused. Why did you do it? I thought you didn't like me," You were talking quietly, but in reality, it was really hard for you to contain your sea of emotions. Issei tightened his grip on your delicate fingers, neither of you bothered to look at each other in the eyes. He took a deep breath and started talking quietly.

"I don't know myself. I thought I had let go of you, I thought I was over you, but when I saw you again all feelings came crashing down on me again. You looked so breathtaking, I fell in love with you all over again. So pretty and all dolled up and this dress. God this dress, hugs you so perfectly on all the places I want to touch, I actually feel jealous of it. I want to rip it off and have you all to myself and never let go. I don't want to let go now that I tasted your lips again." He spoke lowly, his voice was raspy and it sent chills down your spine. " You are the most beautiful person here you know that right? You are probably the most beautiful person in the whole city, I think even in whole Japan or better the world!" Matsun kept going on and on setting your heart ablaze. You were mad, but at the same time, you were so at ease and felt so at comfort. It was like your mind and heart were battling each other and you had no idea which would win.

"I'm still really mad at you." You grumbled against his chest, Issei hummed and wrapped his hands tighter around your waist.

"I know and you have every right to." Issei hummed and pecked your hair, he then grabbed your chin lightly and made you look at him. "I'm really sorry Y/N, all I have been doing is to cause you pain. It was never my intention. I love you, god, I love you so much! I know you will be better without me. You can find so many who are way better than I am and would treat you like you really deserve. And I thought I came around with the fact that I wouldn't be the one to have you in the end. I always knew that. That's why I never made any kind of move on you. When you entered the party you looked like a different person. You were the most beautiful person I have ever met, you looked so confident and comfortable in your own skin and most of all you looked so happy! I didn't want to come to you and ruin it. I felt so proud too, you achieved so many things! God, you don't know how proud I am to even know you!" Matsun kept going on and on, you haven't even heard him talk this much in a row, he was always a man of few words. He looked so desperate too, and the way his voice broke, killed you too. You had known him for years but you still never had seen him like this. Honestly, You had no idea what to do. You wanted to yell at him and comfort him at the same time. You tightened your grip around his hand, your knuckles were starting to whiten but you didn't care. You wanted for him to know you were listening, that you were there.

"Matsun, I..." You tried to start but he interrupted you.

"Please let me finish." The tone of his broken voice immediately made you shut up. "I know it was my own choice to let you go, and I really thought I was fine with that but when I saw you... When I saw you something like snapped in me. I tried to take my mind away, I kept talking to this women to keep my mind off of you, but how can I pay any attention to these peasants when a literal goddess has taken over my heart? And when I saw you kissing that asshole I almost went feral! I would have murdered him if I had a chance. He was touching the one I basically find sacred so disrespectfully, I almost lost my mind. Then I got you to myself I couldn't help but kiss you. Your lips always look so welcoming I couldn't help myself. And I want to do it again and again. I don't ever want to let go. I miss you like crazy! I don't know if I can be apart from you again. I... God, I sound so pathetic, I don't even understand what's happening with me. I covered this place with blankets and stuff you love because I hoped you would come to another adventure with me. Funny thing is that I wasn't even planning on asking, I don't know how we ended up here. I thought I would end up coming here all alone, wallowing myself in self-pity again. I know I don't deserve it, and I know that everything's my fault and my fault only and I would understand if you don't want to have anything to do with me, but could you give me another chance? I don't think I can last any more minute without you. I miss you so much it actually hurts."

Matsukawa looked at you with pleading eyes, and before you could even comprehend what was happening, you were getting in his lap and were kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He was startled for a second, he clearly didn't expect you to have a reaction like this but he wasn't against it at all. In fact, in a second, he was the one taking the lead and deepening the kiss. His hands digging in your hair while you slid yours through his hair. He would have continued doing so before you leaned back and broke the kiss. He looked at you half dazed. You were quick to bring him back to his senses when you harshly smacked his head.

"That hurts!" He complained, which made you more fueled up and now you punched his shoulder.

"That's the point of hitting! I want it to hurt you asshole!" You yelled. "You know you're a huge fucking idiot right? What's with this bullshit about not being worthy to be next to me? If I didn't think your ass was worthy I wouldn't have fallen in love with you! My taste in men may not be that great but I'm not stupid! I appreciate that you're thinking about my happiness or whatever, even though it's totally uncalled for, and thank me for not beating your ass further! But I get to decide what's good for me and what's not. To your surprise genius, that comes to dating too! I get to decide whom I want to date and fall in love with and in this case, it happens to be you, fuck it always has been you! I had some partners but I didn't love any of them, cause your caterpillar brow ass has managed and captured my heart, I always come to compare them to you, and guess what they're not you! God, you can be so stupid for someone who is supposed to be smart! I'm really disappointed Matsun and mad too! I want to beat your ass even further! God, how did you even manage to come up with this bullshit? I swear to god!" You kept grumbling while messing with Issei who looked like he was still in shock, his cheeks were dusted pink and you couldn't help but squeal on the inside from how cute you found it. You made Issei blush! That was an achievement for sure and such an adorable one too! But you couldn't back down now, you felt actually mad that he had such dumb thoughts like this, but on the other hand, you found it very endearing and cute. He was trying to protect you! And by the looks of it, he was hurting just as much as you. But the fact remained the same, he loved you. Your dream came true, he shared the same feelings! You felt so happy, you wanted to kiss his face till your lips fell off.

"You know you don't have to straight ass roast me right?" Issei tried to look offended but he was having a hard time hiding his grin, you smiled and pinched his cheek making him roll his eyes.

"Oh baby, I'm not even started. What did you think I was going to forget everything? And don't be mislead Makki can't even come close to me when it comes to teasing. You're in for a ride sweetheart, teasing is only just begging, maybe if you find a few ways to shut me up, and you know what I mean, I could keep quiet for a while, you could atone for your stupid ass mistakes with many kisses for starters. I don't know Matsu get creative. The point is you're stuck with me and you can't even run from me now you got it? No more bullshit like I don't deserve you and stuff like that," You said as slowly and as seductively as you could having your face close to his and occasionally brushing your lips against his. Still being in his lap gave you the perfect leverage and you just loved the way he was tightly holding your hips, to keep your bodies close. You felt complete after such a long time...

The hurt and all the emotions didn't wash away immediately obviously, you knew that your wounds would take time to heal, but now at least you knew Issei would be next to you through the journey and that was enough. You knew that now, that you had talked things through, maybe yelled from your side but still, you knew that you could overcome many things together. You just needed to voice your thoughts out.

"Wasn't even planning on it baby," he growled while he closed the distance between your lips again making you squeal a little. Yup, you just loved your little midnight adventures.

God, I can't believe I actually wrote over 6500+words. No wonder my eyes hurt like a bitch lol. Anyway, I really hope you will like it. If you have any kind of feedback please notify me. I'll gladly take some healthy criticism. I really want to improve my writing and I promise I will do my best. This is a firts work I have ever published on tumblr and I really hope you will like it^^

#haikyuu #haikyuu angst to fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #matsukawa #matsukawa x you #hq matsukawa #matsukawa x reader #matsukawa issei #badass reader #hq x reader #hq #reader insert #angst to fluff #mutual pining #friends to lovers

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i-make-fun-of-spn-characters · 3 years

Note

I love you and your posts, seeing so many biased posts bashing a character to prop up another had started to make me dislike these proped up characters even though I used to enjoy them, and you're reminding me of why I like them all by reminding everyone how fucked up they all are, bless

This bit o’ mail is certainly a painful reminder of how fandom putting their fave(s) on a pedestal while bashing other character(s) is not just something that exists in its own little consolidated circle jerk and doesn’t affect anyone else. This discourse sucks outsiders into its orbit. It multiplies resentment. The hardcore stan mentality (as I have named it, though maybe “anti” is actually more appropriate here) creates a vicious cycle continuously gaining velocity and size. You prop up your fave, you ignore your fave’s flaws, you pick at every flaw of another character at the same time (sometimes flaws that aren't even fair/don’t really exist). Other people watch you misrepresent and tear apart a character they have found comfort and maybe even their very self reflected in, who they understand implicitly, and they can’t see why you don’t or won’t even try to understand them. They get mad that you reduce a character they love who means a lot to them—suck out that character’s complexity in order to turn them into a punching bag, and they wanna tear down your fave and build theirs up in response. So it all just goes on and on and on.

This whole situation was a major motivator in me making this blog. I wanted to show that the characters are flawed—ALL of them are, and also that that is OKAY. We can make sense of it, and we can have compassion, and we can understand why they do what they do, and what their intentions were, if we’re actually trying and paying attention (with very few exceptions, in which case I blame writing ;P). I’m not going to pretend SPN is incredible television in terms of writing, but the moral debacles and the conflicts have never completely lacked nuance. Sometimes you have to work more to see one person’s side than another’s, but there has always been understanding to be found, even if not agreement... Even within some of the most ill-advised and morally questionable actions. And fuck—some of these situations... where both sides are written to have a pretty damn complex and interesting and understandable POV... that I see getting reduced to really simple black and white opportunities for harsh judgement just really blows my mind. (Note: I say this knowing memes/jokes also reduce complex situations... but the intent here is different, and memes aren’t intended to show the full complexity of the situation—I’m not big brained enough to be able to fit the full complexity of say, Sam drinking demon blood, or Dean getting Sam possessed, into one meme, but this is also where making many memes about the same situation over time comes in).

What I did learn from making this blog and gaining a following is that there are a lot of fans who aren't like this... but that extreme opinions are what get attention and notes. You suck your readers in by taking an extreme stance rather than a moderate one. That's what gets people reading—that they're angry—either because they agree with you or because they don’t. It's clickbait. Thus we tend to see fandom’s extremes suck up notes like crazy, and we go, “what the fuck?” thinking those groups actually represent the fandom as a whole, and they... actually don’t. I have 10K followers. I creep on y’alls blogs sometimes... and the vast majority of people don't seem to operate in these extremes. Of course, the irony here is that my content plays into those same clickbait-y elements that get antis notes (though that was not my conscious intention. I also never thought this blog would get big. I thought I would get hate mail a lot when I first started it... I was very wrong about that! =D). All that to say... fandom can feel like a huge bummer, but there are a lot of chill people lurking around, and memes are fun.

#you thought this blog wasn't deep??? think again!!!#jk again I have no braincells #being serious for 5 seconds #don't feed the stans after midnight #is relevant here #=D #mail #i briefly forget that this is a mcdonalds

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fe-semi-decent-scenarios · 4 years

Text

How they act around their crush: GD edition

[This one’s for @glass-grapes. I saw your submission and am completely psyched that you love my blog! I know that I’ve only recently had it kick-off with a few posts, but I have been wanting to start one of these since January. Hope this is to your liking! (p.s I didn’t know if I should do pre or post time skip, so I did a little dabbling into both]

Claude:

We all know Claude here is both a go-getter and a tease

If he finds you interesting then there’s no reason for him to hide it. A battle of wits never hurt anyone, and boy do you two fight well

He is s a s s y. If you’re chatting with some other students he might stick his nose into the conversation to toy with you. It’s all in good fun, right? Just a little mini-game on his way to achieving bigger things

That’s what he tells himself

Some days he finds you a bit too alluring, and can’t help being self conscious of the other people around

Fiddles with his braid when you throw him for a loop

Will pay extra special attention to you in battle, and makes excuses to the prof. for why you should be near him. He really is a snake

Post-Timeskip he hides his bias even more. Not enough to fool his close comrades, but enough to avoid you receiving any extra attention from the enemy

Sometimes slips items in your room to distract from the stress. Tea, a new blanket, etc.

During the five year gap he keeps track of your whereabouts. After Garreg Mache fell he decided that his dream would take priority as planned, but also believed that one day you would be at his side

Wasn’t surprised at all to see you at the reunion, but that familiar urge to tug his hair returned too

Judith and Nader have already heard about you prior to your meeting. Much to his dismay they view his buried feelings as open range comedy

Lorenz:

We all know how Lorenz acts when he finds someone of interest. The guy is a huge flirt which causes the professor wayyy too much stress

He’s not as in-tune with his sense of romance as you would think. In the early stages he’ll treat you the same as all the other ladies: a potential partner for house Gloucester.

Date offerings, frilly words, gifts, acts of kindness. Ah tis but the duty of a noble, yes?

No.

One day he lets that stubborn side of his personality slip out, and you come back at him with just as much fire. He becomes so angered after it, but somehow hearing the words from you hurt more than if someone else were to say them

That’s when he knows that he’s in deep, and from then on he treats you more gently. He’ll watch his tongue around other women, and sets his sights on only you. His mannerisms are the same as before, but now he tries to learn more about you as a person vs. just the cold hard statistics

He’s a blusher. He has a naturally light pigmentation so it shows.

After the time-skip he’ll watch you like a hawke. Do you like his new hair cut? Surly it’s an improvement from before sorry bro it’s not

Sets his dignity aside to request that you be given a hexlock shield during battle, or placed near him. Claude won’t let him live it down

Ignatz:

He m i g h t avoid you, but please don’t take it the wrong way. That’s just how he is, you know?

Young Ignatz isn’t that confident in himself. You’re...well ‘you’. And he’s...well, ‘him’

Oddly enough he confides in HIlda of all people. It originally began with wanting to see if she was still on stable duty with him, but ended up with him working and her talking

When you’re nearby he chooses not to speak unless spoken to. If you didn’t know his tells he’d come off cold, but one look at his hands wringing together just proves he was nervous

Byleth puts you two on cooking duty together: que panic. He legit grovels at their feet to pick someone else. They don’t, and that evening he sketches a wonderful picture of you sifting through different seasonings

On your birthday he struggles to give you the gift he prepared. It ends up with Lionie giving you it while he watches from afar.

When you’re older he is much more verbal with his opinions

More often than not he lets those honey-coated words slip out, which usually end up with him excusing himself quickly

Invites you to join him during downtime at least once a week. Every day could be his last, and goddess forbid yours. He wants to spend time with you even if he isn’t the most graceful companion never mind that he’s a smooth-talking mofo

Raphael:

If there’s one thing Raphael is good at, it’s showing that he cares

The boy is a giant muscular teddybear. He will carry your things, he will spar with you, he will eat anything you cook without complaint, and he will hug you; hard.

Unlike everyone else he’s pretty open with his feelings. Life is short, you know?

If you make him particularly bashful he’ll laugh loudly. More so to cover up his own embarrassment than because he finds the situation actually humorous

Adopts this habit of constantly asking if you need anything. The guy loves to dote on people, and lookie here you’re the perfect target

Remembers all important dates like a pro. On your birthday he drops a gift right on your desk first thing in the morning

Goddess forbid anyone gives you trouble. Without the smile on his face he looks the murder type, and the guy uses it to his advantage. He will happily escort you anywhere you need to go

Once his sister is settled he might honestly stick with you during that five year gap. He’s made his feelings painfully obvious, and you haven’t chased him off. Why not stick around?

Hilda:

Yo she’s clingy

She knows you have to be a catch and a half to steal her heart, so who knows who else that you’ve smooth talked

Just like everyone else she’ll still get you to do her bidding...but, maybe a smidge less

She feels guilty, but won’t show it

Hilda will do all in her power to not let the news reach her family. The last thing she needs is Holst sending her more letters, or worse: showing up at the monastery

Y’all she will don her best perfume for you. She will push all her work onto Cyril and drag you to have lunch with her. This is normal Hilda behavior so she has no reason to be shy

Will flirt openly and proudly. If you recuperate she’ll go gossip to Marianne about how you’re ‘totally smitten’ with her

Post-skip she’s not much different. Most of her time is spent doing what she can for the cause, but when you see each other she’s more bold.

Like always she doesn’t like to have expectations pushed onto her. She does have one for herself though, and it’s to stay by your side.

Marianne:

During the academy years she tends to admire from afar

Her favorite memories are of when the professor signed you both up for choir practice. She loves your voice, and it was a time where there wasn’t any pressure for conversation

As time passes she’ll become less adverse to talking. Quiet greetings will be whispered when you cross paths, and occasionally you two have lunch together

Marianne is not as reserved as people assume her to be. She’s just had a rough time, and if you take things slow with her then she’ll gradually have a stronger presence in your life. She hopes that this comes true for you two

Eye contact hasn’t always been her forte. She does try to maintain it with you though

Her feelings remain at a stalemate through most of the academy days. Only when she bypass’ some more personal-issues does she let her emotions go free

About halfway through the war period she changes. Her stance is more vertical, and she becomes the one to take initiative in your relationship

She’ll still blush upon any physical contact, and in some cases she’ll lose her breath when you talk. Don’t take the momentary silence as a bad thing, she’s okay.

Occasionally she’ll be restless and unable to sleep, worrying about the future she now has in her grasp. You might find her scouring for a cup of chamomile late in the night

Lysithea:

She’ll deny herself immediately. For Lysithea the future is an anomaly. One of which that no amount of studying or research can uncover.

It’s painfully obvious that there’s a spark between you two. Anyone can see it, and Hilda has pestered her many times regarding confessing

If the situation was a bit different, she would. Lysithea is no push over, but she also doesn’t want to invest time into something that will bear no fruition

She keeps her cool around you for the most part...or at least until you’re out of hearing distance

Then she completely loses composure. Did someone say clammy hands? Because hers get slicker than lorenz’s hair gel

Leads to stress eating, not gonna lie. There are many late night trips to the mess hall, and many angry cooks over the missing sweets

Times are different post-timeskip though. She’s a bit more reluctant to let these feelings go

Occasionally there’s some open flirting on her part. If you recuperate then it becomes more frequent and less forced. The sassy banter between you two becomes the deer’s free entertainment

Leonie:

She’s commonly been viewed as ‘one of the guys,’ for her personality. So she’s very insecure about getting friend zoned

It’s not like she was actively searching for romance. It just happened, you know? One day something just struck a chord

She never took the time to picture sharing a life with someone. Most of her life has been spent worrying about her village, or working hard to attain some kind of recognition from the Captian

For a split second she considers going to Byleth for some advice. Now isn’t the time for school-girl crushes. Now is the time to be forging a path to the future

Decides to completely ignore the ache she feels when you’re nearby. Just...lets it go.

She’ll put hella distance between you two. The only time she’ll initiate contact is during sparring

After the timeskip she stays this way too. Well, until HIlda calls her out on her bullsh*t (if you haven’t noticed from all these. Hilda is a perceptive little cookie)

Just like anyone she’ll go through the moral dilemma of deciding to confess or not. She instead chooses to just let her feelings do as they please, and if something happens then it happens

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telehxhtrash · 4 years

Note

Hey! I was just wondering if you think that Killua was consciously aware he was in love with Gon? Also when do you think was the moment he fell in love with him (consciously or unconsciously)? Thank you for all your hxh posts!! You’re truly a blessing

Hi ! Omg i can't thank you enough for this ask because i wanted to make a post about it but really didn't have an excuse to do so so this is PERFECT THANK YOUUUU

I'm gonna start by answering the last part of the question. To me, the moment Killua fell in love with Gon is during that "Gon, you are light scene". It's such an emotional moment for Killua, because he had just run away with Gon, ripping him off his father figure out of what he saw was cowardice. He felt weak, he felt angry at himself for running away and letting Kite to die. Kite's team and Netero's team bashed him the entire day, telling him how much of a disgrace he was for leaving Kite behind, thus reinforcing his feeling that Gon would never forgive him.

But the first thing Gon does is thank him. Such a small thing, but it means that he was never angry at him for running away. Gon is the only one who supports Killua in his decision. And when Gon tells him optimistically that Kite would never die to Pitou, that's when Killua falls in love. All at once. Because not only did Gon thank Killua and support him, he was also his light in the darkness, and he admired his optimism in this situation.

Because how could someone shine so bright in such a desperate situation ? How could someone be so utterly positive that nothing bad would happen ? And it makes Killua RESPECT (emphasis on this word because i'm gonna highlight it later on) Gon even more than he did before. Because Gon is light, he's always been light, and this specific moment of despair and self loathing on Killua's part was saved by Gon's shining positivity.

To me, there's 2 reasons why I believe this scene is the exact moment when Killua falls in love :

- It's a pivotal moment that introduces Killua's blind devotion to Gon, and this scene is the most emotional scene between Killua and Gon. It's a scene of complete admiration for Gon, and Killua comparing him to light is so emotional that i truly believe this is when he fell in love.

- This scene is followed by pretty much something that canonizes Killua's love for Gon. In the manga, this scene is immediately followed by the introduction to Palm's character. The first thing she does is take the two boys to a coffee shop and proceeds to monologue on how much she's in love with Knov. Here are the panels :

Remember how I talked about Killua respecting Gon ? Palm emphasizes that fact, the fact that respect is important in love, and that's exactly what happened in Killua's situation.

Right after that monologue, she stops talking, takes a sip out of her cup, and then suddenly tells Killua (!!!!) that "love can suddenly spark out of nowhere, don't you think?"

The panel only features Killua and Palm, Togashi made the conscious decision to draw Palm facing Killua and Killua ONLY and telling him that love just happens, right after the "Gon, you are light" scene. This emphasizes that yes, Killua fell in love with Gon at that specific moment.

It's not a coincidence that those two things happened right after the other. Togashi is GALAXY BRAINED, and what Palm is saying is empty dialogue, it doesn't make the plot progress : the purpose of this scene is to parallel Killua comparing Gon to light itself in the previous chapter, and Palm picking Killua on the side to tell him that love can happen out of nowhere is Togashi paralleling those two situations to tell us readers that from this point on, Killua is in love with Gon. (which is easily proven after everything he did for Gon during CAA)

Now, onto the rest of your question, sorry if i was long, i get very carried away hjdbfj

The interesting thing about Palm's monologue is that it emphasizes the fact that love and feelings are messy, and it's hard to figure out what you feel. It’s better highlighted in Viz’s translation, so I’m putting the panel below for reference :

“I only admire him. It’s not love or anything... But I’m not certain of that either...” - I believe this can be applied to Killua’s situation too.

At first, I don't think Killua realized that he was in love with Gon. Killua is 12, has never had any friends or any kind of social life prior to Gon, so it's not like he has a lot of experience to rely on. Add this to the fact that Killua has also never known affection, it makes it logical that Killua doesn't know how to classify those new feelings he has towards Gon. He doesn't know what normal friendship feels like, he doesn't know what love feels like. All he knows is that Gon is literally light itself, and that there's nothing he wants more in life than to stay by his side forever because he makes him extremely happy.

Killua doesn't know what those new feelings are, he just wants to stay by Gon's side forever (as he says in the date talk scene - where he says that he doesn't care about dates because he wants to stay with Gon), he doesn't want to lose him (as he says when facing rammott), and that he'd rather die than to live without him (during the palace invasion)

I think Killua's character arc during chimera ant arc is him slowly realizing those romantic feelings towards Gon. We see him put his life on the line multiple times, just for Gon's sake. And when Killua sees that there's nothing he can do to help Gon anymore, he decides that he won't let him die alone, and makes the choice to die alongside him.

Killua didn't realize what those feelings were until he thought that him dying with Gon would be a shinjuu (lover's suicide). He knew that he had an intense devotion to Gon, and that he'd do anything for him, and when he thought that the best situation that would describe him dying with Gon would be a shinjuu, a heavily romantically connotated word that describes lovers who die together by the same way to be able to spend the afterlife together, it pretty much confirms his suspicions that there's something more.

And to me, that's the culmination of Killua's CAA character arc. That's the moment that he realizes that yes, those feelings towards Gon are romantic, because him dying with Gon would be a lover's suicide, because he loves Gon so much that he's willing to die with him out of love.

I think all this confusion on Killua's part is why some people don't know if it's extreme best bro behavior or love....

It's because it's just as confusing to Killua as it is to us. First love is confusing, and Killua doesn't know why he's acting the way he is, he doesn't know if it's natural best friends behavior or if it's love.

That's why Togashi doesn't explicitely state that Killua's in love with Gon, and that it takes a bit of reading on the subtext to understand that it IS.

It's because if Togashi put it plainly, by having Killua think explicit romantic thoughts towards Gon, it wouldn't be as realistic. It's a conscious choice on Togashi's part to paint those feelings as messy, because feelings are messy and confusing, especially when you're an ex-assassin with no previous social interactions who’s experiencing new feelings towards his best friend of the same gender.

Thank you so much for this ask I hope I could answer the question ! (and i hope i wasnt too long aHHHH IM SO SORRY I GET SO CARRIED AWAY TALKING ABOUT HXH)

#ask #meta #holy shit i got carried away im so so so sorry #i hope it still was a good answer jdngjksndg #hxh #hxh meta #killugon #my meta

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deathonyourtongue · 4 years

Text

It’s Not Over

Summary: Seven years on and the honeymoon is definitely over. Pairing: Ray Merrimen x Yvonne Levoux Word Count: 2K Warnings: A lil’ bit ‘o angst. Just a smidge though. Happy ending, I promise. A/N : This sequel was also commissioned by the fantastic @livinglifeformemyselfandi. Thank you for all your support, hon!!

Send me a PM me if you’d like to be added/removed from the tag list!

@fumbling-fanfics @skiesfallithurts @pinkpenguin7 @madmedusa178 @fangoria @bluestarego @my–own–personal–paradise @tastingmellow @honeychicanawrites @angelicapriscilla @swiftyhowlz @schreiberpablo @pinkwatchblueshoes @kirasmomsstuff @prettypascal @nardahsb @playbucky @queen-of-the-kastle @cajunpeach @godlikeentity @captainsamwlsn @lilac-tea-time @katerka88 @melaninmimii @alienor-romanova @downtowndk @redhairedmoiraandtheliferuiners @safiras @agniavateira @henryfanfics101 @fatefuldestinies @iloveyouyen @justaboringadult@xxxxxerrorxxxxx @bloodyinspiredfuck @peakygroupie @stxphmxlls @trippedmetaldetector @radaofrivia @speakerforthedead0 @oddsnendsfanfics @snowbellexx @leilabeaux @cavillunraveled @woofgocows @andahugaroundtheneck @sofiebstar @kmhappybunny @mary-ann84 @cappot @cheyentjj @cavillhavoc @sleepy-moon-girl@princess-of-riviaa @peakyrogers @hell1129-blog @thethirstyarchive @worldicreate @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @henry-cavill-obsessed @rmtndew @elena-lawley @bichibibi @penwieldingdreamer @scoopitypoopbloop @flightofthefantasies @justrae9903 @raspberrydreamclouds @minton131 @hollydaisy23 @mizzzpink @omgkatinka @rn7rocks @elenas-fanficrecs @ohjules @writernerd23 @whatawildone @toss-some-coffee-to-your-witcher @modernscarlett @jasmindaughteroftheworld @badoopwoop @onlyhenrys @moderapoppins @flouncingxtart @ffreadings @captaingothgirl1996 @schmidten17 @alexakeyloveloki @asylummara @dearlybelovedluke @pinkzsugar @valkyrhys @ntlmundy @livingonmywishes @thotti3evans @whitewolfandthefox @madbaddic7ed @sausagefest1996 @foxyjwls007 @fuckoffbard @bethabear12 @lovieebby @marswritings @mooniiieee @traceyaudette @pumpkinglory @keiva1000 @my-rosegold-soul @geralt-of-baevia @luna-aestas @thereisa8ella

They say that a marriage is tested at the seven-year mark, and as their anniversary approached, Yvonne was feeling the pressure.

For some reason, all their friends and family had gotten it into their heads that this was the anniversary that required an all-out party. Thankfully for her and Ray, they weren’t allowed to have a hand in any part of the planning, but that didn’t mean that Yvonne was any less stressed about it.

“I’m telling you, if you put Eric next to Enson, there’s going to be a fight. Just telling you that right now. Don’t do it. I know, I know I’m not supposed to have any say, but I’m letting you know. Okay, bye. Love you too.”

Sighing, Yvonne hung up the phone in her office, looking at her watch and seeing that, once again, she’d ended up working overtime. Checking her cell, she couldn’t help but feel disappointed; yet again, no text from Ray.

Yvonne felt like she was on a mountainside with a quickly moving avalanche about to crash right onto her head. The stress of the anniversary coupled with the fact that her and Ray had firmly left the honeymoon stage of their relationship was beginning to take its toll. More than anything however, was the fact that Ray was still planning and executing heists.

For years, Yvonne had turned a blind eye to her husband’s line of work. She’d taken inspiration from mafia wives both real and fictional, figuring that if they could make it work, so could she. Part of her initial attraction to Ray had been the fact that he’d always been something of a ‘bad boy’, even when he was a Marine. Now, heading into year seven, she was over it. Figuring out a way to broach the subject was the cherry on top of her mountain of stress.

Rubbing her temples, Yvonne took a deep breath and grabbed her purse to go home. If things went her way, she’d be able to have some alone time before the party and put herself in a better headspace to enjoy a celebration she didn’t feel very festive about.

To her horror, Yvonne realized the moment she turned onto her street that alone time was out of the question. With four cars crammed into her driveway like sardines, and ten to twelve more parked along the side of the street, she found herself having to park her own car at the end of her block. Frustration growing with every step, her only hope was that this was their party and not some pre-bash thrown by one of the boys in an attempt to get everyone wrecked before the actual party began. Bass thumped loud enough to be heard well away from her front door, and as she walked in without needing her key, Yvonne could feel herself hitting the tipping point.

It was the strippers that threw her over the edge.

Ray sat on the couch flanked by two women she’d only met in passing, back before her and her husband had ever become an item. She’d been jealous of them then, knowing full well that they got to enjoy Ray in a way she, at the time, thought she never would. Now, seeing them fawning all over her husband, Yvonne was seeing red.

With the decency to at least look shocked and contrite, Ray immediately got up and moved to greet her, hoping to smooth things over before any trouble could start. Smiling softly, he went to wrap his arms around her to welcome her home, but Yvonne was having none of it.

“Get off me,” Yvonne hissed under her breath, her face remaining neutral as she looked past him, realizing given who was there, that everyone had agreed on the pre-party, including her own family.

“I’m gonna go get ready. You better have this place cleared out by the time I’m done, and you and I are going to have a nice long chat before we leave.” Locking eyes with Ray to make sure he understood the severity of her position, Yvonne made her way to their bedroom and firmly locked the door behind her.

After making sure she was truly alone, she allowed herself a few moments to wallow. Head in hand, she cried softly, letting all the self-doubt and anxiety washing over her. She couldn’t be sad when discussing things with Ray, because in her mind, it felt like emotional manipulation. She needed to be stoic, resolute, and reasonably angry with the situation at hand. Tears poured down her face as she realized things were truly coming to a head. Months and months of drifting apart had led to this very moment, and for a split second, Yvonne allowed herself to question if it was all worth it.

Hearing the music turn off, Yvonne wiped her eyes and headed for the bathroom, knowing she only had a bit of time before everyone would be at the venue, waiting on her and Ray. Unlocking the bedroom door silently on her way to their en-suite, she wasn’t surprised when she heard the knob turn while she began touching up her makeup.

Yvonne kept her back to Ray as he sat on the bed with a sigh, the mirror reflecting the stress in his body language as he rubbed a hand over his buzzed hair. Though part of her heart softened at seeing him looking earnestly upset, Yvonne had to remind herself that it wasn’t just tonight that had caused her stress, but the overall pattern of behavior Ray had displayed with more and more frequency over the last few months.

With one last swipe of highlighter across her high cheekbones, Yvonne finally turned to face her husband, her own expression stoic and aloof. “Do you still love me? Do you still want to be with me? Or do you want me to cut you loose and let you go?”

Ray’s reaction wasn’t at all what she’d expected, and Yvonne found a lump forming in her throat as she watched her husband. Eyes wide with shock and hurt, it was clear that this was news to him, and for a moment, Yvonne felt bad for starting off with such pointed questions.

“How are you even going to ask me that? Of course I love you, of course I want to be with you! What the hell, Yvonne?”

“You have a real funny way of showing it, Ray. Looked pretty comfy between Becky and Lourdes there. Not to mention all the days where I text and you don’t answer back for hours, if at all. Coming home and finding you either not there, or just sitting on the couch, having done nothing to help around the house. Can’t remember the last time you told me you loved me, hugged me, or even really kissed me. And don’t think I don’t know what happened on the last job, Ray!” Yvonne was careful in how she phrased her accusations; while neither her nor Ray were so paranoid as to think their house was bugged, she never wanted something she said to incriminate him in any way.

Ray was silent for a moment, scrubbing a hand over his face before looking up at his wife. She could see the anger in his eyes even before she heard it in his voice.

“You know damn well that wasn’t what was supposed to happen! And don’t even start about the girls. I’ve never once looked at another woman since getting with you, and I damn well wasn’t about to start today on our anniversary! It takes two to tango, so while you’re over here saying I’m not home, I’m not helping, etcetera, when’s the last time you were actually home on time? When’s the last time you actually spent your days off hanging out with me when I ask you to instead of brushing me off and burying yourself in your files and books? When’s the last time you weren’t embarrassed to be seen with me, Yvonne?”

The last one stung, because there was a grain of truth to it.

Though not a conscious choice at first, Yvonne had begun putting distance between herself and Ray, mainly because of his line of work and how he chose to carry himself. It wasn’t so much embarrassment as it was the reaction of her colleagues, co-workers and other professionals when it came to Ray. She could clearly remember the night she brought him to one of the fundraising galas her group had thrown to raise awareness for mental health. Despite donning a suit and being as polite and professional as he could be, as the night progressed and people began to rub him the wrong way, Ray’s true colors came out. By the time it was over, Yvonne was well aware they were being whispered about and that inviting him to any future events was out of the question.

“I just...I didn’t think you’d still be doing what you’re doing all these years later. Thought after the first big one, you’d have put in the towel and found something else to fill your time.”

“Say it, Yvonne. I wanna hear it from your lips. Go on, say that you’re tired of me doing what I do, and then just give me that ultimatum we both know is coming.”

“Is that what you want? Want me to show you the door, Ray? Want the easy way out, because you can’t stop for one second and think about how your actions have consequences that extend far beyond your own selfish ego?”

“Selfish? Oh, I’m selfish? Funny. Last I checked what I do for a living put this roof over your head and all those designer outfits in your closet. It’s nice to have a husband that can get you whatever you want whenever you want, so long as you don’t have to think about how he gets his money.”

“Excuse me, but did you forget that I work too? That I contribute? That I had money in the bank long before you came along? Don’t kid yourself, Ray. If we end things, I’m not going to be out on the street begging for change. And don’t you dare make this about the money! You know I don’t care about that. I care about you making it home, about you not doing another run in Victorville. I care about you being here for-”

Yvonne didn’t realize she was crying until the hiccuped sob left her throat mid-sentence. Wiping her eyes without regard for how smeared her makeup got, she looked up at the ceiling for a moment, wishing she’d been able to tell him under better circumstances.

“I care about you. I love you, Ray. I want you to stop, because if something happened to you, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself, and I wouldn’t be the only one you’d be leaving behind.”

Face crumbling, Yvonne sunk into the highback chair that sat by the window across from their bed. The room was silent aside from her sniffles, and when she finally looked up, it was to a frown on Ray’s face. Despite all their troubles, they’d had a few good days here and there, and on more than one of those days, they’d been too caught up to take the usual precautions. Now, with everything hanging in the balance, Yvonne felt like kicking herself for not being careful.

When it was clear Ray wasn’t going to say a word, Yvonne stood up and moved back to the bathroom, hoping some cold water would stop the tears and ease the ache that was already squeezing her heart.

“You can go, Ray. I’m staying home tonight. Don’t feel much like celebrating,” she said bitterly, tears slipping down her face faster than she could wipe them away with her makeup towel. Closing her eyes tight, she let the ice-cold water dissolve her tears, Yvonne hoping that by the time she was ready to dry her face, that Ray would be gone.

Instead, she found him behind her, his face unreadable. Turning to face him, Yvonne did her best to remember her own hurt and the fact the fact that the choices he made were ones she could no longer live with.

“We’re having a baby?” He whispered, disbelief and wonder coating his tone. With the utmost care, Ray slid his hand along Yvonne’s still-flat stomach, almost as if touching it would make it real in his mind. Looking up, Yvonne’s dissolve crumbled a little more, seeing Ray’s lip quivering as he focused his attention on where he was touching.

“Yeah. If you want to, yeah,” she choked out, her own voice barely audible.

The hug she was engulfed in took her breath away and reminded her of their first hug, back when he’d been released, only this one was much more intense.

“Whatever it takes, I’m willing to put in the work. I don’t want to lose you. That was never my intention, ever, Yvonne. I need you to know that. I love you with all my heart and soul. I know I said I understood what it did to you and to our families back when we first got together, but I didn’t. Not truly. It stops now. I’m done. I can’t risk losing the most precious thing in my life; you.”

When the tears subsided, Yvonne reached up and wiped Ray’s eyes, smiling as she felt his thumbs gently brush under her own. “I love you, Ray. Always have, always will. We just couldn’t keep going the way we were or we’d end up having to go our separate ways.

“I love you. I’m sorry I haven’t shown it. That stops today too.” Ray affirmed, nuzzling his face into her touch before placing a sweet kiss to the center of her palm. Cupping her face, he sealed his promise, kissing Yvonne deeply as he blindly pulled her up into his arms.

With her legs locked around his waist, Yvonne couldn’t keep from smiling, even if she wanted to. One hand stroking over Ray’s head while the other pressed gently on his chest, Yvonne’s grin grew ear-to-ear as he carried her towards their bed, setting her down softly before making quick work of burying his head under her flowing skirt.

“You keep this up and we’re gonna be late, baby.” She chuckled, a sharp inhale coming on the heels of her words. The feeling her husband’s wet tongue sliding through her folds even as he peeled off her thong was enough to stop any higher brain function, and Yvonne let her eyes close, enjoying the moment.

“They can wait.” Ray answered, his head popping out from under her skirt, her thong swinging around his index finger. Yvonne was still laughing even as Ray dove back in, sensing the change in her husband and knowing that, once and for all, Ray was home.

#pablo schreiber #ray merrimen x ofc #ray merrimen fic #fic #deathonyourtongueoriginals

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vicunaburger · 4 years

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Some of us cool kids on our Discord server decided to have a little fun this week and create some Inferno Girls OCs!

If you wanna see more lovely ladies, gents, and NB lovelies, check out the “#infernooc” tag.

Without further ado...

Poppy “Lollipop” Remington

More information under the cut!

Name/Stage Name: Poppy “Lollipop” Remington

Year/Cause of Death/Age: 1988, sawblade to the chest, 25

Favorite Dancing Song: Dead or Alive’s “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)” (or anything 80s synth pop/new wave)

Role in the House: Dancer/Payroll “Payment Enforcer” -Prefers dancing on stage and working behind the scenes of the club to 1-1 clientele. Very self conscious about her less than stellar appearance

Hair/Skin Color: Mauve/pink hair, mint green skin, small orange horns normally surrounded by teased hair, 5’8, plus sized and proud/ a thin scar runs from her hairline to the bridge of her nose diagonally down to the left; a giant, nasty scar runs the length of her torso from neck to navel, matching an identical scar along her back, she tries to hide them by tying corset lacing patterns every few days along the length of the wounds

Relationship with Beej?:

- Movie!Beej: - Calls him “Dead Man” or “ATM” for kicks. Enjoys him as a client because he pays well and knows just how to sweet-talk her into giving him a discount on private dances. She pretends to fuss about it, but doesn’t mind in the long run, since he always makes it worth her while. He’s much nicer than her usual clientele and doesn’t treat her like a complete ditz, despite it being her “character” during her sets on stage. He’s one of the very select clients she’ll sleep with, as she’s more akin to a “hostess” in a club rather than a prostitute. She loves the fact she can be a complete brat and snark off to him, and he just loves it. He’s also the only one she’ll drink with while on and off the job, because she is a party girl and goddamn if he isn’t a party. Beej is one of the few people outside of the other girls at the club that knows how she ended up on the other side, as she changes the story every time to keep clients from being too nosy.

-Musical!Beej: - Calls him “Honey Bunny” and nothing else. Thinks he is the cutest, most adorable demon to walk into the Inferno Room. Immediately perks up when he visits during her shifts, even more when he books private time with her because most of the time is spent making each other laugh in the middle of intimacy. They’re both very handsy when they’re together, sharing a mutual touch-starved affection with each other. Poppy doesn’t find herself on par with the other girls of Dante’s and hesitates to initiate physical contact with patrons. However, she will drop whatever she is going to at least go over and greet Beej before going back to work and considers him her special VIP client. The two of them have been spied occasionally partying outside the Inferno Room together on her nights off, often in the midst of causing mischief and mayhem upon the unsuspecting Neitherworld citizens. He was the first one to get her to “loosen up” after her untimely death.

Clothing Style:

- On Stage: bright 80s lace realness, legwarmers, tulle skirts, THE WORKS

- Working the Floor: tight athletic wear “Physical” video glam, the only fabric in the world to dance with is LYCRA

-Office/Off Duty Wear: casual 80s preppy vibe, oversized jackets with dresses, polo shirts with popped collars, handkerchief skirts

Backstory:

The summer of ‘88 was not turning out the way Poppy Remington expected.

Not only did her father temporarily cut off her only source of income, but the only way to get it back was to work a job during the summer to prove she could be a responsible adult. For a few months, at least, her father wasn’t expecting miracles. The only short-term notice job available was working the local overnight camp as a counselor, which she reluctantly agreed to take at her friends’ urging. They were all going to work there that summer.

Supposedly.

On the night before they would set off for camp, the group decided to throw one last bash before they were shackled with the responsibility of making sure children didn’t get themselves killed in some horrible accident. One of her best friends had the idea to use the yard outside of the abandoned sawmill for the party. It was out of the way with no chance of being bothered by the cops.

Which meant, naturally, that when things started to go downhill, there was no way out for the unsuspecting adults.

The 2x4 shook violently with the force of her grip, splinters digging into her palms as she shifted the weight of the weapon backwards. Ahead of her, the open door of the sawmill swung wide open as if to taunt her; beckoning her to make a run for it while the room was clear. There was no possible way the crazed “Mill Murderer” could have made it from the farmhouse to the mill ahead of her. He was knocked prone on the kitchen floor with a swift blow to the back of his masked head.

Poppy licked her chapped lips, glancing at the body of her – now ex- boyfriend, shorn in half by the supposedly broken lumber saw. She had told him to wait for her before going to check out the sawmill, but like the idiot he was, Chad decided to play macho man and go tearing through the grounds like the energizer bunny.

“Ugh, you were so cute, but so stupid.” She muttered to the body, kicking off her high heels in preparation to bolt out the door.

In a flash, Poppy sprinted toward the other side of the sawmill, focused on nothing else but reaching the running police car outside.

Of course, that meant she wasn’t paying attention to the ground, causing her to trip over some unfortunate victim’s severed arm and tumble headfirst to the ground. She managed to land on her arms but hit her head on a small pile of discarded lumber scraps. Her face felt like it was on fire, already feeling the blood seep out of the gash that spread from her hairline to her nose.

Poppy tried to stand, managing to get halfway up on her own before being helpfully pulled up and off her feet by a large, gloved hand. Screaming in anger, she swiped at the masked killer, trying to find some vulnerable part of him to attack.

Was he waiting for her to run? Did he plant the arm there as a trap?

The Mill Murderer carried Poppy by the throat as she struggled, back to a corner of the room she hadn’t explored before now. Trying to turn her head and see their destination, her eyes widened as she saw the ridiculously convenient, oversized table saw just waiting to be used. Doubling her efforts, Poppy tried to dislodge herself from his grip, and dug her nails into a bit of skin that was exposed under his gloves.

He howled in pain, tossing her away from him like an angry cat-

-right on top of the dormant sawblade.

Poppy felt the serrated, rusty blade digging into her back, unaware of just how deep the tool had impaled itself within her. Maybe it was the shock, maybe she was fueled by pure spite and an unwillingness to give up so easily, but something was keeping her alive. Even though she spit a mouthful of blood at him as he loomed above her, tilting his head as though impressed that she was lasting so long. People only bled out of their mouths like that when their lungs and esophagus were thoroughly punctured.

Not wanting to risk this angry woman gaining a second wind, he quickly slammed her torso further down onto the blade, watching it sever a line down the middle of her chest before she stopped squirming around. He waited a few moments before gathering himself and shuffling out of the sawmill: that was definitely a victim worth writing about in his journal.

Poppy stared angrily into the mirror, wincing as she pulled the neon pink thread through the tender skin of her chest. Just a few more stitches and she would be ready to go, already hearing the halfway mark of the performer’s show currently on stage. She was next, despite her best efforts to change to a later time slot, and now had to do a rush job on her sewing.

At least she had gotten Madame to sew up her back earlier that day. It was hell trying to stitch backwards in a mirror. Most of the other girls shied away from such a gruesome task, but she could always count on Madame to help her without complaint. It was embarrassing to even need such care and attention, and Poppy did her best to make up for her physical flaws but working extra hard behind the scenes of the Inferno Room.

Tying a cute, knotted bow at her collarbone, she snipped the thread with a pair of scissors before wrapping her lace bustier around her torso, snapping it into place. Her favorite acid-wash denim jacket was next, sliding across her shoulders like a comforting blanket. The scar on her face could be hidden with makeup and clever hair styling; small favors she had learned to appreciate the longer she performed.

Poppy leaned forward into the mirror, checking for any lipstick stains on her pointed teeth, “Just one set, and then we’re all his for the night.”

Thinking about him made all of her efforts seem inconsequential, already picking out the flaws in her stitching from under the lace of her top. She could have taken a little more care with them… and maybe she needed more volume in her hair? Tonight was a bad night for mousse. What was the point of having limp, lifeless hair when her favorite was coming to see her? Would he think she didn’t care? Or that she wasn’t good enough anymore and he would seek companionship elsewhere?

She barely acknowledged her five-minute warning, waving the stage manager off with a huff, too focused on trying to blend out part of the scar that touched the bridge of her nose.

#beetlejuice fanfiction #infernooc #inferno oc #inferno girl

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ice-cream-nekogirl · 4 years

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Out of My League (Midoriya Izuku X Reader X Bakugou Katsuki) PART 6

PART 6 to: https://ice-cream-kitsunegirl.tumblr.com/post/189998729329/out-of-my-league-midoriya-izuku-x-reader-x

HERE IT IS YA’LL!! IT AIN’T OVER YET BUT I DID IT!! <3

Taglist: @dailyojiromashirao, @asja-the-hoarder, @breezy-chan11414, @captainw0lfy , @sunflowergem, @lenkiryuu

Summary: You’re ready to dance with Izuku, but Bakugo isn’t going to allow it.

‘Cause somehow I can’t believe That anything should happen... I know where I belong And nothing’s gonna happen Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

-’She’s So High’ Tal Bachman

SECONDS AGO…

“Aww… Izuku… haha well hey! Music’s gonna play, let’s get our groove on~!!” You exclaimed and shook your hips a little bit as Izuku perked up nervously, but excitedly too. All-Might taught him how to dance last-minute just yesterday so he had this!

“R-Right…!”

He exclaimed as you and he were oblivious to the way Bakugo was glaring at you when he saw you both going to the dance floor, and he didn’t hesitate to follow you both with a furious, determined glare.

If anyone was going to dance with you, it was going to be HIM.

Not Deku, HIM!

RIGHT NOW…

“Can you believe we’re actually here? I feel like I’m gonna hurl actually. Well… I don’t wanna do that on the dance-floor but we are HERE… like… this is my first dance…!” You giggled and nudged Izuku playfully with a bashful smile as he blushed even harder when you reminded him.

“I-I know…!” He exclaimed a bit louder than he intended but felt himself tremble once he saw that you and he were actually AT the dance and ON the dancefloor. And he was starting to freak out and think that he forgot how to dance…

However, you looked pretty nervous too and that kinda made him feel better? Sort of… at least you were just as nervous and uncertain as him. “I think we like… dance separately first? Literally never been to one of these before, and no one’s actually dancing at these things in the movies…” You questioned outloud since the music was starting, and this wasn’t a movie. In fact, you and Izuku saw some of your friends and other classmates, as well as other students getting on the dance-floor to either mingle or dance.

“I-I think so too…?” That’s the first time you heard Izuku sound so clueless, but you didn’t blame him. You had literally NO idea what you were doing, but you just felt excited.

And you giggled a bit when he was clearly sweating from all of this anxiety, “Okay… look Izuku, you’re not a dancer, and neither am I, but that’s okay. No one can say we can’t dance other than us, tonight I’m gonna say I CAN dance and I WILL dance.” You put your hand on his shoulder to try and make him feel better, and it worked a little bit.

Izuku seemed a bit surprised but also relieved when hearing your words of encouragement, it wouldn’t hurt to dance a bit right? He was a little shy about it but maybe it wouldn’t be bad with you there at his side, like you always were…

“Y-Yeah… okay, you’re right.” He said with a bit more determination despite the shakiness in his voice as you giggled, and perked up when you heard a song you knew very well by Fall Out Boy!

(youtube.com/watch?v=qVmnkZdbH2U)

She says she's no good with words, but I'm worse Barely stuttered out a joke of a romantic stuck to my tongue Weighed down with words too overdramatic Tonight it's it can't get much worse Versus no one should ever feel like~

“Fall Out Boy!” You chirped rather happily as you already started moving in your own awkward but endearing way when the music started, and it encouraged Izuku to start dancing in his own awkward and endearing way. He was so not a dancer…

Tonight he would be though! For you! If you could dance so could he!

I'm two quarters and a heart down And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds These words are all I have so I write them I need them just to get by

You saw Jimmy Jr dancing on Bob’s Burgers all the time, so you copied some of his moves even though you were sure they made you look like a dork, Izuku thought you looked like a dancing queen. He almost forgot that other people could see him dancing because he felt so much more at ease dancing with you.

And then he saw some other people snickering at you… No doubt some of the jerks who thought that video of you was funny. He made sure to glare at them so they wouldn’t ruin your night. No. Nothing was going to ruin your night, he wasn’t going to allow it.

So he danced along with you so you didn’t see those jerks daring to laugh at you on your night. Even if it meant waving his arms about awkwardly and moving his feet off the beat of the song.

Dance, dance We're falling apart to halftime Dance, dance And these are the lives you love to lead Dance, this is the way they'd love If they knew how misery loved me

Bakugo swore he wanted to laugh. You were never a good dancer, and it showed, especially when you were basically just making weird movements and mouthing the lyrics to the song. And yet that’s what made you who you were…?

He hated how fucking cute he thought it was, because you looked so fucking cute when you were being such an idiot, even in that dress you were fucking cute. And he fucking HATED how much Deku was smiling just dancing like an idiot with you. He was an even WORSE dancer. What the hell was that nerd doing? He looked so stupid...

Ha! He’ll show Deku a REAL dancer and take you away when this fucking song ends. Deku can’t seriously call that dancing, it was laughable and he couldn’t resist actually letting out a laugh when he outright copied you and had no rhythm whatsoever.

And he smirked when it seemed to catch the green-haired boy’s attention and he saw a look of mortification and fear on his expression. “I-It’s Kacchan…!” He whispered to you fearfully and you glanced his way to see Bakugo’s eyes widen slightly when you saw him. But then he scoffed and looked away like he wanted to ignore you.

“Forget about him Izuku…! Dance bro~!” Not wanting Bakugo to make him feel self-conscious you playfully bumped your hip against his as he jumped with a little yelp and blushed even harder. “Why don’t you show me a little bit of spine you’ve been saving for his mattress~?” You sang as you circled him a bit, giving him a little wink that made his heartbeat speed up.

He couldn’t stop now! He nodded to the rhythm so he could get back in it and tried to ignore how sexual the song sounded as you sang, “I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me~.” With a smirk you stuck out your finger, moving it towards you in a hook to lure Izuku in closer which gave him a new rush he had never felt before despite all of the nerves running through his body.

He closed in and forgot about the fact that he was being watched and smiled wide as you danced side by side with him, no longer paying attention to a mildly horrified Bakugo when he saw you giving Deku those looks and the fucking nerd actually reciprocated by going back to dance with you, moving his arms and hips in such a nerdy way it made him want to punch him in the face.

Dance, dance We're falling apart to halftime Dance, dance And these are the lives you love to lead Dance, this is the way they'd love If they knew how misery loved me

“Work it (L/N)!!” Kirishima happily cheered you on while he was dancing, surprised and amazed to see you actually dancing and being so confident about it. At first it made you nervous, but he was cheering you on! And you saw Yaoyorozu, Ashido, Sero and even Kaminari and Jirou smiling and encouraging you to keep dancing along with everyone else you were with.

You did it, you danced your heart out with more of a confident, proud smile. You dance moves were awkward and weird as hell, but they were yours as you didn’t see the look on Bakugo’s face when he saw you just… moving around like some kind of weirdo. The weirdo he fucking loved…

You saw him looking that time, but instead of feeling self-conscious you smirked and shook your rump right at him and he cringed with an annoyed shout as he blushed heavily, “W-What the hell are you doing idiot?! Don’t shake your ass at me!!”

Who did you think you were?!

“I’m dancing Katsuki!” You cheerfully exclaimed as you swung your hips, twirling and going back to a shocked but amused Izuku as he tried to hold back the giggle that wanted to leave him when he saw Bakugo look so flustered. He’d never seen THAT before…

“Oh you think that’s funny Deku?!” And an infuriated Bakugo immediately yelled when he saw that damn nerd daring to laugh just a little bit. “N-No! Of course not…!” Izuku however, got scared and shook his head, but you didn’t want these two to fight at all so you grabbed Izuku’s hand to pull him towards you.

“Ignore him~.” You sang breezily as you spun around and smiled at him, and he couldn’t help but smile back at you as he had no choice but to ignore the angry Bakugo to keep on dancing with you. Yeah, he would ignore Bakugo, this was your dance, and this was his dance. And it was fun! Izuku couldn’t stop himself from grinning at how you smiled at him and the two of you danced together in your own quirky ways. It was liberating and he’s never felt so... free...

However, this just made Bakugo even madder the more he saw you and Deku just dancing like idiots…

How could you ask such a loser like him out?

Dance, dance Dance, dance Dance, dance Dance, dance

Doing a silly little spin as the song came to a close you were panting. Heavily. Like, you were seriously panting as if your body finally told you that you were moving WAY too much and now you were already a little bit tired. “WHOO!” You threw your fist up though, that’s only the first dance of the night and everyone looked positively exhilarated!

Even Izuku looked genuinely happy, his cheeks were flushed and he was panting like you were, just not as badly. He felt… he felt amazing…

“We did it… we did it!” You practically jumped and grinned widely, which flustered Izuku but he couldn’t help but smile with you, “W-We danced…!” He couldn’t believe it, he actually danced with a girl! He danced with you! He never thought he’d ever dance with you! Let alone dance at all…

“I know!! Ahhhh…! Wow it’s… exhausting…” Your excitement kind of deflated once you remembered you were wearing heels and how tired you were, which made Izuku giggle a little bit. But man those high heels didn’t look like they were entirely comfortable.

“Want to… take a break and just... stand around for a little bit? W-We can dance whenever you want to.” He was such a gentleman, already he was letting you take a break since he saw that you looked a bit winded and you smiled shyly at how sweet he was. “Yeah! I could stand to sit down… and have some punch… I’ll see you shortly okay?”

You chirped a little bit with a blush on your cheeks as he smiled and blushed, “Okay, take your time!” Izuku gave you a little wave as he watched you go and get your punch, and it gave him some time to talk to a surprised and impressed Iida, Aoyama and Todoroki. “Midoriya! Those were some… interesting moves out there, if I may be honest, I never took you for the dancing type.”

Iida was honest, not hurtful, but Izuku took no offense because he was extremely accurate, “O-Oh thanks! I’m… really not but… (Y/N) wanted to and I… thought it would be fun to do it with her and… it was.” He replied rather bashfully, something that his three friends could agree on. You made it look fun…

“So that’s what dancing is?” Todoroki was an even less experienced dancer, but he nonetheless thought the way you did it looked… fun? Embarrassing but fun, “Um… I think so. (Y/N) says that there’s no such thing as a bad dancer…” His friend answered his question, which made Todoroki blush ever so slightly when he imagined himself moving in such a way…

It looked oddly freeing, but he wasn’t sure if he had that kind of courage to do that… but if someone as shy as Midoriya and someone as awkward as you could do it, then he could too?

“She’s right~! And she looks gorgeous no?” Aoyama was the first to praise you on how pretty you looked, and Izuku blushed quite madly at his question that he very much agreed on. “V-Very…” He mumbled rather shyly as he almost couldn’t even look at you when he saw you smiling and waving at your friends.

“Powerful too. She’s such a shy little thing… but her confidence is sparkling brighter than the stars tonight~.” Aoyama almost sounded like he was proud of you. He’d been observing you in class, not in a creepy way or anything, but you were close to Izuku, his closest friend so he noticed you too. You were awkward and had no confidence in yourself, something the blonde could relate to and understand.

It made him want to reach out to you and be your friend, and he did! He liked to think that you and he were good friends since you were friendly to him and he was always polite to you. And he was so happy to see you and Izuku so happy together, you both deserved it.

“You know… you’re right…” Izuku saw what Aoyama was saying, and he was right. You WERE confident, much more than you had been in the past years that he had known you and he was so happy. You deserved to be happy and comfortable in your skin like you were tonight.

And he smiled at you as you were at the punch table and there was Shinsou manning the table to pour the drinks.

“Hey it’s you!” You perked up the second you saw the tired-looking boy who seemed rather surprised to see you… looking like that…

He was silent for a few seconds when he remembered how you looked before you suddenly turned into… this… Shinsou thought you were cute the way you looked earlier but… this was a really, really nice look on you too…

“O-Oh.” Did he really just stutter? Idiot! “Yeah it’s me, and it’s you… dressed like Cinderella?” Shinsou patted himself on the back for regaining his composure so quickly, even smirking a bit as if to tease you a little bit.

You pouted a bit when he noted how different you looked all dressed up and dolled up, “Haha yeah, yeah… my pumpkin carriage is outside.” So you retorted with a snarky tone as he snickered, “I have a pumpkin carriage too, so I’m sure you saw it out there, you can’t miss it.” He remarked just as sarcastically as you laughed a little bit.

“No offense but I didn’t take you as the type who’d come to these things…?” You hoped that wasn’t rude, but Shinsou seemed like the kind of guy who was over all this stuff. Then again, so were you, but you had been secretly wanting it more than you thought so…

He didn’t seem offended though, “Oh I’m not… I’m just handing out the refreshments. Everyone else can dance but… I’m fine just being the drink guy.” Shinsou wasn’t one for dancing at all, he wasn’t shy to admit it because dancing was embarrassing and he wasn’t the type of guy to just get up and dance and embarrass himself like that. So, he was happy just behind this table and pouring you two drinks of punch as you thanked him.

“Let me guess, Kaminari also dragged you here?” However, you seemed to read him like a book since you were aware that he was good friends with Kaminari, “You got me.” Still, Shinsou smiled and raised his hands in defeat when you caught him. Kaminari DID drag him here, but Shinsou quickly took up the responsibility of handing out drinks and helping give away the snacks and plates so he didn’t have to actually dance or mingle much with anyone.

He didn’t really mind talking to you though, you kind of interested him. “Actually… I was kinda hoping I’d look a little more like Daenerys Targaryen.” You shrugged with a smile, and to your relief, Shinsou seemed to actually see it.

“Oh I see it now…” Guess he’s seen the show, given how he was kind of dressed down with smart black pants and a black shirt that said ‘I Drink and I Know Things’. HA! You loved it…

“Hee-hee, well thank you for this ‘wine’, and I will go back and dance once I feel feeling back in my feet.” You then thanked him once again for your punch as you waved at him, and he waved back with a little smile.

“Try not to burn the place down… Khaleesi.” Shinsou said an inside-joke since he’s actually seen the show and you grinned and gave him a thumbs-up and a nod. He called you Khaleesi!!

You nearly spun around happily, but you didn’t want to spill your punch or the punch you got for Izuku so you had to stay cool and not look like an idiot. Although there was a bit more of a spring to your step when you saw Izuku talking casually with Todoroki, Iida and Aoyama. Why and how did your friend make you feel so nervous? Oh right, because you actually really loved him, he was so sweet, but also really cute and actually really hot too. He had muscles now…

“Okay… I got this… I’m a Khaleesi…” You said to yourself confidently and quickly downed your entire cup of punch in three big gulps, still holding the other one for Izuku. Maybe you could surprise him…

“Hey idiot.” But you became the surprised one when you heard no one other than Bakugo’s voice over the music as you nearly jumped and spilled both the other full cup. “Damn you Katsuki! I’m holding punch!” You exclaimed, not angrily but slightly annoyed at least until you saw him actually… wearing a suit…

“Oh my God you’re wearing a suit…” Of course he wore no tie, but it was so weird seeing Bakugo up close in that suit, “Yeah?! Well you’re… wearing a dress!!” However, Bakugo had to yell at you, and apparently, he thought it was just as weird seeing you in a dress.

You weren’t offended though, dresses weren’t something you normally wore unless it was kind of dowdy, this definitely was the nicest thing you’ve probably worn in your entire life. “Well I DID choose the theme so… I think it’s obligatory I wear something that matches it.” You shrugged with a little smile as he scoffed. “Of course you chose this theme…” He knew what you liked, more than you thought he did so you were surprised.

Your grin grew as you shrugged your shoulders again, and you wanted to say something but you didn’t really know what to say. Katsuki wasn’t exactly the easiest guy to talk to, and plus it was still a little awkward for you too. On top of that, you needed to go give this punch to Izuku and you were going to but Bakugo wasn’t going to let you go so fast.

“Where are you going? Don’t you know it’s rude to just leave someone who’s talkin’ to ya?” He said somewhat roughly, and you gave him a look and a small smirk, “You’re one to talk about being rude.” You replied with 100 proof sass which irked him. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

You snickered and tried not to laugh, sometimes Bakugo had no self-awareness. “Sorry… it’s just that I got punch to give and-.” Before you could finish your sentence, the cup in your hand suddenly disappeared as Bakugo just took it from you without even asking and gave it to the closest person near him, which was Kaminari.

“Thanks?” The confused electric blonde replied but Bakugo ignored him, and you just looked annoyed. “Hey!” Putting your hands on your hips you gave him a disapproving glare and dammit he couldn’t get enough of how you looked in that dress…

But you couldn’t really tell as you just sighed, this was just Bakugo being Bakugo and you were sure Shinsou would be nice enough to give you another cup, you just felt bad that Izuku’s punch was given to someone else. “Well look I’m gonna go-“

“Dance with me.”

He cut you off again as he outright asked you to dance with him, and you perked up a bit in shock. No way, you didn’t hear that right… you were certain you didn’t. “What?” So you asked again, but this irritated the already annoyed Bakugo as you swore you saw his cheeks flushing with vexation.

“I said dance with me Shitty Girl!” He raised his voice as he grew a little more flustered and you just grew even more shocked and confused. He was asking YOU to dance with him? Who was this?

The confused look on your face both infuriated him and kinda hurt him, mostly because he knew that the only reason you were so shocked is because he was always putting you down in the past. “Why… would you want to dance with me?” Your question hurt even more as your eyebrows furrowed, clearly you were skeptical and that stung even harder.

He growled as he made sure to mask his guilt with more anger and annoyance, “Who the hell cares why?! I just want to!” Bakugo didn’t want to shout at you, but he didn’t want to see you look at him all sad and confused anymore. He didn’t want to make you feel like that anymore.

Yet, you were still kind of confused because you could still remember what he said to you those years ago.

“I wouldn’t dance with you if you were the last girl on earth.”

The beat of your heart suddenly got louder in your ears, and you could feel it speeding up the more you looked at Bakugo with anxiety in your (E/C) eyes. “Um… uhhh…” You started to stutter again, dammit why did you have to start stuttering again of all times?! But to your surprise Bakugo remained almost patient even as you stuttered.

And yet still when you looked at him you could see that arrogant smirk he gave you when he called you gross and a dork. Oh no you were starting to sweat, even with your deodorant on you could feel it. You blinked your eyes and instead of that smug smile, Bakugo was still just looking right at you, almost concerned but mostly annoyed. He couldn’t believe it… he had you speechless, and not in a good way…

“Okay.”

You forced yourself though to say ‘yes’ to his demand, no. Bakugo was an asshole, he’s still an asshole but something about him changed a little bit. He wasn’t asking you just to embarrass you, he was honest to a fault so you believed that he did want to dance with you. You didn’t know why but he did, but it was flattering in an odd way. Besides, you couldn’t just avoid and ignore him forever, he was kind of your friend still. And part of you was still attracted to him, and you still cared about him despite everything.

“I’ll dance with you.” Still you tried to sound all cool, and you saw his arrogant smirk come back to him, but this time it wasn’t mocking you. “Good.” His smirk grew as he took your hand in his somewhat roughly, which sent blood rushing to your cheeks as he lead you to the dancefloor and you couldn’t help but smile.

“I’ll show you how to actually dance.” Bakugo never lost that arrogance, but this was him being weirdly nice to you as you found yourself on the dancefloor. With Bakugo. Katsuki Bakugo. Something you never really imagined. Well, you did imagine it once back in middle school before he crushed that, and yet you were here with him now.

You were going to dance with him.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bg59q4puhmg)

Hey, hey, You, you! I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, You, you! I could be your girlfriend

Hey, hey, You, you! I know that you like me No way, no way! No, it’s not a secret Hey, hey, You, you! I want to be your girlfriend

“Oh my God it’s Avril!” You suddenly jumped a little bit when you heard another blast from the past as you tried not to squeal, and you blushed when you heard Bakugo snicker. “God you’re such a fucking dork…” He said that with affection? No true meanness when he called you a dork…

Instead of feeling sad, you actually smiled brightly at him. It was a late dream come true, he liked you for you and finally accept your flaws.

“Don’t flail your arms around like some kind of car commercial thing. Just get into the rhythm.” He advised you as he started to move to the rhythm of the song, and gestured you to follow his moves which made your eyes widen at how fast he was going and what kind of moves he was showing you.

The things he did with his legs, and how fast he could move his body, definitely took quite sometime to follow as your moves were extremely awkward at first but he was surprisingly patient with you even he was smirking and outright laughing at some of your more awkward attempts.

You're so fine, I want you mine You're so delicious I think about you all the time You're so addictive Don't you know what I can do To make you feel all right.

It wouldn’t happen overnight, but you were able to follow him even though you pouted everytime he laughed at you. Still, happiness and glee filled your beating heart when he did because he was being… actually kind of sweet as he actually smiled when you got it? He was smiling at you.

You were dancing with him, side to side and following the rhythm and beat of the song, bouncing and moving more fluidly and with more energy with a big smile on your face. You were dancing! And you were dancing good!

Good with him! You were dancing with Bakugo and you were starting to realize wow you were actually pretty good at this!

Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious And, hell yeah I'm the motherfuckin' princess I can tell you like me too And you know I'm right

Bakugo couldn’t hide his pride, he didn’t really enjoy dancing but he was good at it and knew how to do it really good. He’d be good at anything he tried even if he didn’t want to try it. And his pride swelled when he could see and hear his awed classmates when they saw him dancing with you, and you dancing good because of him.

“She's like so, whatever, You could do so much better~.” Although you wouldn’t ever stop singing or mouthing the lyrics to songs you loved even as you danced. Bakugo rolled his eyes when he saw you mouthing the words, but his smile-smirk didn’t leave his lips. “I think we should get together now. And that's what everyone's talkin' about~!”

His thoughts exactly. They might have belonged to a song, but this should show Deku that he was better than him, and that he would win you over.

Hey, hey, You, you! I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, You, you! I could be your girlfriend

Izuku was almost distracted as he was talking to Iida, Todoroki and Aoyama, at least until Todoroki noticed that you were dancing with Bakugo. A lot better too for that matter, you seemed more in tune with the song. He felt like maybe he shouldn’t tell Izuku because… it felt kind of wrong and he was almost worried that it would make him sad to see his date dancing with his rival.

However, Uraraka was ready to approach Izuku so she can say ‘hi’ and see what her friends were talking about, but then like Todoroki, she saw you dancing with Bakugo and she gasped in horror… what was he doing?! Didn’t he know that you were here with Izuku?!

Oh she couldn’t let that happen, sure you asked Izuku but you were both her friends, and she wasn’t going to let you guys have your nights ruined because of Bakugo. “Deku!” She didn’t want to look angry though so she looked as cheerful as always as he perked up upon seeing his good friend.

“Uraraka! Hi there.” He greeted her with a sweet smile that made her cheeks warm and her smile turned shy. She wished she asked him out before, but it was too late and she was at least happy he was here with you. And that’s why she needed to make sure he had a good dance!

“Hi…” Damn, she wanted to tell him straight-up that Bakugo was dancing with you, but his smile looked so happy she couldn’t just bluntly tell him that now. “Midoriya… it looks like Bakugo is dancing with (Y/N).” Thankfully Aoyama had no problem being blunt as he pointed at you dancing with his rival…

Hey, hey, You, you! I know that you like me No way, no way! No, it’s not a secret Hey, hey, You, you! I want to be your girlfriend

Izuku didn’t mean to gasp so loud as his green eyes widened once he saw you dancing with Bakugo and smiling so brightly that he nearly teared up. That’s right… he always thought you had a crush on Bakugo. Any joy he had slowly started to drain when he saw his rival dancing beside you, smiling too…

He’s never seen him smile like that, and he’s never seen you smile like that…

His friends saw how shocked and hurt he looked, and they couldn’t help but frown when they could practically feel his sadness.

“You gotta go get her Deku! She was having fun with you too on the dancefloor! If not more!” Uraraka had to perk him up, so she spoke first, followed by a determined Aoyama, “She’s right! You came here with (Y/N), you will dance here with her.” His voice was soft, but his tone was encouraging.

“Exactly! Bakugo is playing a dirty game. I normally don’t condone such silly games, but a man trying to take away another man’s dancing partner is just despicable. I believe in you Midoriya.” Even Iida was trying to encourage Izuku to go and win you back because while the romantic aspects went over his head, he knew how much Izuku valued you as a dear friend and he knew that Bakugo liked to do things just to spite him sometimes.

“Go get her Midoriya. Don’t let Bakugo win, she asked you out didn’t she? Show her why.” Todoroki was surprisingly more aware of his feelings for you, and Izuku told them that you had asked him out. And frankly Todoroki could see why, Izuku was a nice guy and he was glad that you did. So… he needed to encourage his friend to go get you back.

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? He's so stupid What the hell were you thinkin'?

Izuku tried not to tear up at how supportive his friends were being, and how much their words touched his heart. That’s right, you DID ask him out, and he knew Bakugo was just trying to take you away because NOW he decided to be nice to you? When he himself has been nice to you from the beginning? That was messed up…

Sure Izuku was glad that Bakugo was treating you better now because you deserved to be treated with respect, but Izuku knew from the beginning that his rival wasn’t even all that interested in you. Why the sudden change of heart he had no idea.

He didn’t blame you for having a crush on Bakugo, after all he was amazing, but Izuku wasn’t going to let him win. After all, he could do better than him now.

He could treat you better AND dance with you better.

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? He's so stupid What the hell were you thinkin'?!

However, Bakugo nearly forgot that Deku existed as he danced with you and watched you throw your fist in the air and jumped in rhythm with the song and having the time of your life as he smirked at you the entire time and danced right beside you. Energetic yet powerful with his fluid, aggressive moves.

Although he did make sure to glare at others who dared to snicker at you because of the video, but you didn’t care at all about them anymore and he fucking loved it. Those assholes clearly didn’t know what a real woman was.

He was partially ashamed to say that he didn’t either but he was grown up and knew better now. And Bakugo’s also secretly always known that you liked you, he wasn’t oblivious. He was cruel to you so… that needed to change. Because… he’s come to realize that he’s always liked you too. It was one of the many reasons he was always extra mean to Deku.

After all, Bakugo was better than him, so he couldn’t help but wonder what were you thinking asking Deku out? That didn’t matter now at the moment though, you were dancing with HIM now and you were awesome. He was awesome.

Hey, hey! You, you! I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one

“Hey!” Izuku had to raise his voice over the music which caught your attention as you perked up from where you were dancing and your (E/C) eyes widened with excitement while Bakugo’s pride and excitement was suddenly shot the second he was met with the nerd’s face…

“Izuku!”

“Deku?!”

You excitedly called his name but Bakugo was much less pleased to see him, “Mind if I dance with you both?” As much as Izuku wanted to kind of get Bakugo to back off, he didn’t want to get into some kind of fight because he wouldn’t do that in front of you.

“Sure!” And you happily nodded at the thought, although this just pissed off Bakugo, “No! Go dance with your friends or something and get lost you nerd!” He didn’t change that much, to Bakugo, Izuku was still a nerd. And on top of that, he saw what he was doing, well he wasn’t going to let him take you away.

Izuku was well aware that Bakugo wasn’t going to give you up so easily, but he wasn’t afraid of him right now. You were HIS date, he wasn’t possessive about it but Bakugo couldn’t do that. He couldn’t take you away when you asked HIM out first!

“But I was dancing with (Y/N). She asked me out after all.” He replied to him assertively and showed no traces of backing down which just further irritated Bakugo. This little nerd definitely had more spunk than he did back then.

“I did ask him out…” Then you couldn’t deny that, nor would you as you smiled at Izuku, although you were starting to get nervous that your guy-friends were going to get in some kind of kerfuffle. They always did…

Hey, hey You, you I could be your girlfriend

“Yeah? Well in case you missed it Deku, I’m the better dancer. Didn’t you see us? That’s how you dance you loser! Instead of this…” Bakugo had to drive the nail in by imitating Izuku’s… admittedly corny dancing by mocking the way he would move his arms and shake them in the air like he was trying to fight with someone and then moving his feet off the song’s rhythm.

“I mean what the hell is that?”

He asked him snidely as Izuku couldn’t help but blush over as he looked quite embarrassed to have his awkward moves mocked by his rival. “Hey… I dance like that too!” You couldn’t let Bakugo mock Izuku like that though. Teasing someone about being a bad dancer was one thing, being a jerk about it was another.

“The difference is (Y/N)… you’re better at dancing than I am.” Izuku had the grace to admit that with a bashful smile. Poor sweet boy was too modest for his own good. “There’s no such thing as good or bad dancing dude.” So you reassured him but Bakugo rolled his eyes. Why were you so nice to Deku?

“Ha! You’re too nice to this nerd (Y/N)… I’ll show you who’s the better dancer, you hear me?” Bakugo’s smirk KINDA unnerved you and you were wondering why was he making such a big deal out of this? “Why?”

“Why?! Well why did you ask Deku out?! Seriously?! Deku?!” There it was, he finally asked you outloud but it didn’t really please you as you put your hands on your hips.

No way, no way~

“How about? Because I’ve got my own damn agency and I can ask whoever the hell I want out to a dance?” You said it plain and simple and that little bit of sass and assertiveness just KINDA surprised him since he’s mostly seen your meek side but he saw your confidence at the mall so it still surprised him to see it directed at him.

However he growled when the fucking nerd had the gall to cross his arms and nod in agreement with you, even though Bakugo REALLY couldn’t say anything against that. You DID have your own agency and COULD ask whoever you wanted out.

“C’mon (Y/N)… Deku can’t dance for shit! If you’re going to dance with someone, it should at least be with someone who CAN dance!” Still he wasn’t going to lose you so willingly, and then finally you picked up on it. He was JEALOUS…

Your eyes went SLIGHTLY wide at the thought and you ALMOST snickered. No way, this wasn’t happening, you looked over at Izuku who wasn’t yielding to Bakugo’s insults, “Actually I CAN Kacchan. Yes, I’m not the best, but it doesn’t mean I can’t, and I’m not going to be on the sidelines. I’m dancing with (Y/N).” He stood his ground and you found yourself in the middle, and smiling more than you should have.

“Okay, okay… you guys are getting outta hand here, you men… always competing over whose is bigger.” You snickered and laughed when the two boys blushed quite madly at your remark, “The only way I’m going to stay interested in this is if I get involved… let’s just dance together all right? Can we do that?” As flattered as you were, and happy, you didn’t want your friends to fight as you had to place peacekeeper until one of them gets stupid.

Hey, hey! You, you! I know that you like me

The two boys looked at you, Izuku looked concerned and mildly conflicted (because of Bakugo) but Bakugo just looked irritated. If there’s one thing they could agree on, it’s that neither of them wanted to just ruin this dance for you. So they reluctantly nodded.

“Of course (Y/N).”

“Fine…”

Izuku and Bakugo respectively mumbled as you smiled and twirled around happily, “All riiiight now it’s a dance~. C’mon boys~.” You beamed with the brightest smile they’ve ever seen on you as Izuku warmly blushed with a coy grin and Bakugo scoffed as heat dusted his cheeks. They could just dance with you, sure they could be civil…

No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey! You, you! I want to be your girlfriend They couldn’t be civil. Pretty soon while you were having fun dancing with Izuku, you also switched over to Bakugo to dance with him too as everyone else started dancing in tune with the ridiculously catchy song and when it was Izuku’s turn to dance with you. He couldn’t take it anymore, he hated how the nerd was over the moon dancing like an idiot with you, shaking his arms as you performed the same moves with an equally big smile.

Once your backs were turned for just a moment, the ash-blonde smirked as once it was his turn, he roughly shoved the green-haired boy onto someone who was carrying punch.

You couldn’t hear Izuku gasp in shock as he stared down at his soiled suit that had sticky, red liquid spreading all over the white and seeping into his skin and getting him dirty. His suit, it was ruined...

Ohhh Bakugo was going to pay…

Izuku wasn’t the type to get back at someone but his mom brought him this suit, and he wore this for you and YOUR night…

No way, no way~!

As you danced with Bakugo side by side and following his lead, you noticed the rest of the Bakusquad joining to follow in a group dance and it was so fucking fun. “You got this (Y/N)!” Ashido exclaimed happily as she bumped her hip with yours as you couldn’t help but scream with excitement.

“Thanks girl~!” You shouted a bit louder than normal because you were so happy that it rubbed off on the other energetic boys. “Way to dance (L/N)!”

“Kick Ass!!”

“Mother of Dragons in the house~!”

Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero were so sweet, you were glad that Bakugo was kind enough to let them dance with you, although he made sure to stay beside you while you both danced. And he moved a little closer, still moving his body as your smile didn’t fade but your cheeks started to darken at how close he got.

He definitely changed from the little asshole he used to be. Well, still WAS an asshole but he clearly had more respect for you now and seemed to really care about you as it showed when his eyes turned a bit gentler as his smirk turned into a softer smile.

Hey, Hey! You, You! I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one!

Trembling as he stared at the damage done on his punch-stained shirt, Izuku took in a shaking breath, eyes widening with a new kind of fury when he saw the way Bakugo moved in so close to you. So much for agreeing to be civil. That was it, he’s let Bakugo get away with plenty of shit before but not this time!

“Deku!” He turned his head sharply when he heard no one other than Uraraka call out to him, and she was with Iida, Todoroki and Aoyama, each of them looking both sympathetic and kind of upset when they saw his shirt. No doubt because of Bakugo.

“We’ll help you.” Was all Todoroki had to say to his poor friend as he looked at the stain on his shirt, “Ruining a shirt on top of taking your dancing partner?! Of course we’ll help!” Iida was of course pissed when he saw that Izuku’s shirt was ruined at how Bakugo stole you from him.

“Oui! This cannot be ignored, come mon ami.” Aoyama sounded more determined than before as Izuku nodded with a somewhat angered look because they were right. “Right!” He exclaimed as he sped-walked over to you and Bakugo. This was it.

Hey, hey! You, you! I could be your girlfriend No way, no way!

As Bakugo stood by you so close, you began to feel a bit of a discomfort stirring within you. This didn’t feel right, and then you remembered you had to dance with Izuku too, you weren’t going to just ditch him. That’d be a really shitty thing to do.

However, you perked up when Bakugo suddenly let out a surprised shout as Todoroki ‘accidentally’ bumped into Bakugo, “Sorry.” The dual-haired boy said to the extra-irritated blonde, “What the hell Icyhot?! Watch where you’re going!!” He screamed angrily at his classmate as you snickered a bit, only to gasp when you saw Izuku move in closer to you.

“Hey (Y/N)!” He was smiling brightly at you even though all you saw was the stain on his shirt, “Izuku your shirt!” You cringed a bit at how bad it looked and how uncomfortable that must have been for your poor friend but he pretended like it was all okay.

“It’s okay! Don’t worry about it, I want to dance with you.” He rushed his words as he offered his hand to you as you looked VERY surprised by this as you felt yourself blushing but it was fair, you smiled widely and nodded and you squeaked a bit when you took his hand and let him lead you away rather quickly and rather far away from Bakugo...

Hey, hey! You, you! I know that you like me No way, no way! No, it's not a secret

“Just shut up already!” Bakugo continued to shout at Todoroki, who was trying to stall for Izuku until he successfully whisked you away a little bit further as the ash-blonde perked up when he saw you weren’t there. And his red eyes widened and he started to vibrate with rage when he realized that Izuku took you away.

On purpose! That little fucker did this on purpose!

He so did, Izuku almost felt bad for resorting to this kind of deception but after Bakugo ruined his shirt and tried to take you away because YOU asked HIM first, he couldn’t just let him push him around anymore. He wanted to have a good time with you and he was!

The music and your smile was giving him motivation to dance how he wanted with you, and he showed off some better moves that he learned from All-Might as you burst into laughter. Not mocking you were just happy to see your shy friend cut loose and dance!

Hey, hey! You, you! I want to be your girlfriend No way, no way!

“Work it Zuku~!!” You loudly cheered him on as he waved his arms and his legs in a fairly impressive and fluid manner as he no longer felt so timid to do it. And his newfound confidence rubbed off on you as you bow-and-arrowed and did the Paul Rudd dance much to Izuku’s great amusement as he couldn’t stop himself from laughing in glee.

You truly were the cutest and most amazing girl he’s ever seen in his life and he was so happy as he twirled you around right as the song ended, “Hey hey~!” You cheered as you jumped and threw your fist in the air, and Izuku couldn’t help but do the same, pumping his fist triumphantly (just like Avril) and throwing it up in the air as you hugged his arm.

He had you now.

Meanwhile…

Bakugo growled viciously when he saw AND heard Izuku laughing and dancing with you when that was supposed to be HIM dancing with you! Damn nerd! And on top of that he saw the way stupid Iida, Uraraka and Aoyama were more or less keeping their eye on him.

“Bakugo as Class Rep I can’t-“ Iida attempted to stop him when Bakugo marched his way towards you and Izuku but the blonde rudely bumped shoulders with him. “Back off Four Eyes!” He shouted at his appalled classmate and it was just Aoyama and Uraraka.

“Don’t even think about it!” Uraraka stood her ground and Aoyama was backing her up as they both crossed their arms. “Leave them alone please.”

Annoyed and unwilling to deal with them, Bakugo let out a snarl as he raised his fist threateningly at the two which made them both flinch and reluctantly back off and their angry classmate passed right through them both.

This didn’t go unnoticed by other classmates as Tsuyu, Tokoyami, Ojiro and Jirou saw and looked on in disappointment as Shinsou shook his head at what was going on between you and those two idiots. Pretty soon both Bakugo AND Midoriya were going the ruin the whole night for you…

“That’s it…”

TO BE CONTINUED...

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setaripendragon · 4 years

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Trapped in the Amber - 1x01

I promise I’m not dead! I know I haven’t been posting anything lately, but that’s because what I’ve been writing is mostly... well, this. The most ridiculously self-indulgent bullshit I’ve written in a long time, and it’s also the longest thing I’ve ever written, and it’s still not even half way done. I admit, I’m very self-conscious about this, because the nastier side of fandom has infected me with some bullshit prejudices that I haven’t completely managed to exorcise yet, but... I’m tired of being worried it’s not ‘good enough’, and maybe, if people do like it at all, it’ll motivate me to pick it back up. So, here I am, retelling Supernatural right from the start, with a next gen OC tagging along, fixing things here and there. (...Yeah, god, I know how that sounds...) It’s going to start out... sticking pretty close to the Supernatural script, although I tried to limit the amount of times I quoted the show verbatim, it still happens sometimes. The story will diverge from canon more and more as the little changes start piling up and having an effect, but... That’s a long way off, tbh. (For anyone who cares and doesn’t know me well enough to guess, the primary future!ships are Dean/Cas/Gabe and Sam/Mia, but apart from the main character being a Dean/Cas/Gabe baby who loves her parents, there really isn’t that much more focus on romance than there is in the show. For now.)

Blackwater Ridge, Lost Creek, Colorado – Friday 11th November 2005

Landing in the past feels like hitting the emergency stop on a bullet train, like she left her internal organs behind somewhere on the timeline. Meira knows it’s the past because the timeline had felt thick and gooey as she fell. Falling in the other direction would have felt worse, but that doesn’t mean she enjoyed the trip. Add that to the sensation of her grace suddenly retreating to coil up under her skin like a wounded animal, and she thinks it’s no surprise that the first thing she does once there’s solid ground beneath her feet is throw up.

“Oh, son of a bitch.” She groans once her stomach feels like it’s settled mostly back where it’s supposed to be. She braces her shoulder on a tree that’s conveniently nearby, and tries to get her bearings. She’s in a forest, she sees, as she looks around. There are a lot of forests on earth. There are forests elsewhere in the universe too, but she’s… pretty sure this is earth, anyway. And she’s somewhen in the past, although she can’t get any sense of where she actually is on the timeline, and when she tries to reach out with her grace to find out, a sharp, awful pain lances through her soul. She groans and staggers, leaning more of her weight against the tree and forcing her knees to keep her upright out of sheer force of will. She is not trying that again.

The thought that there might be something wrong with her grace is terrifying. She’s stranded, and she can’t get home. She thinks she might be able to manifest her wings, she can still feel them, after all, so they’re not gone, but she wouldn’t be able to fly on them. She can’t fly. She can’t fly.

The panic sits sharp and cloying in the back of her throat, and she swallows hard, as if that might get rid of it. It doesn’t. “Motherfucker.” She swears, and hates that it comes out more reedy than fierce. She has no idea how this happened, either, which doesn’t help. Well, she has some idea, because Heaven, Hell, and everyone in between has been trying to get rid of her for her entire life, and if whatever’s wrong with her grace is why she fell into the past, then she’d say someone finally succeeded. Dad’s going to go ballistic, she thinks, not sure if it makes her want to laugh, or cry.

“Hey, lady.” Someone barks, and Meira flinches so hard she nearly falls over. It’s only a decade of various combat training that saves her from ending up on her ass in the dirt. She has never in her life been unable to sense the people around her before. She’s always felt the shades and shapes of people’s souls. Until now, apparently, with her grace trapped under her skin and unable to reach out to feel the nuances of her environment.

The man standing a little ways off is fairly nondescript, with short-cropped light blonde hair and a touch of stubble, wearing what looked like wilderness gear. Meira has no idea what lies beneath his face, whether she can trust him or not and it makes her uneasy. “What’re you doing out here?” He demands.

“Getting lost?” Meira sasses, because nervousness has never helped shut her up.

And then, another man steps out of the underbrush, but this one, Meira recognises. It’s her dad. Even though he looks so baby-faced and young, she’d know him anywhere. The relief is like a physical blow and she sags against another tree. “And my name’s Meira.” She adds. “Not ‘lady’, thanks.”

Dad quirks a grin, enjoying her sass, and then says, with every ounce of cocky bravado she’s ever seen him use and then some; “Nice to meet you, Meira. I’m Dean.” He glances over at the other guy. “And this is… I’m sorry, what was your name again?” The question is so obviously insincere, and Meira chokes on an incredulous laugh, because she’s seen her dad playful before, even bordering on mean when he’s trying not to admit something’s wrong, but that was something else. It’s macho-posturing, she realises, with a mixture of hilarity and dread. He’s showing off, like a twat, for her.

Oh, god. She’s going to have to nip that right in the bud, or she’s going to throw up again.

“Roy. Roy Roberts.” The other guy replies through gritted teeth, glaring at Dad – at Dean, she’s going to have to get used to that, or she’s going to slip up, and things are going to get awkward real fast – with enough venom to bring down an elephant.

“Hey, mind if I tag along with you guys?” Meira asks, to diffuse some of the angry tension in the air. Absently she wonders if this is before Dean has admitted that he’s into guys, too, because that might explain some of that. Roy is a fairly good looking guy, after all. He reminds Meira of that guy who played Bond in those movies Dad likes from before she was born. That… probably haven’t even been made yet. Damn it. She’s going to have to be careful with things like that. “I have no idea where I am right now.” She adds, because Roy does not look convinced.

“We’re heading further in, not back out.” He warns her.

Meira shrugs. “You’re still a better option than trying to make it by myself.” And she has absolutely no intention of going anywhere without Dad. It’s not really very rational, but he’s her only point of reference right now, and until she can get her feet under herself and figure out what the fuck to do, she could use the illusion of support. So she grins into the face of Roy’s unimpressed glower. “You know I’m just asking as a formality, right? If you say no, I’ll just follow you anyway, because what the hell else am I gonna do?”

Roy’s glower shades towards resigned, and Meira knows she’s won. Her grin sharpens, and he rolls his eyes, but nods his acceptance. “Come on, then, if you’re coming.” He instructs, heading back the way he came without any further ado, leaving Meira alone with her baby-faced father.

There’s a brief moment where they stare at each other, both of them at a loss, and then Dad – Dean – jerks his head towards the bit of forest Roy disappeared into, and Meira takes that as her cue to fall into step with him. “So, before you were getting lost, what were you doing out here?” Dean asks, looking at her with open curiosity. Then his eyes flicker down and up again, and Meira catches herself before an Enochian exorcism can fall out of her mouth on instinct.

Instead, she switches to the first lie she can come up with that might make her dad stop looking at her like that. “I was running away from a dickbag who wouldn’t take no for an answer.” She says without looking at him.

There’s a beat of silence, and a glance shows Meira that Dean is grimacing. “What an asshole.” He comments, just as they catch up with the others again. Roy looks sour, but he’s attentive, scanning the surroundings with a keen eye, which Meira appreciates, and standing nearby is Uncle Sam. Only he’s a squishy-cheeked, smooth-faced, gangly-limbed baby-Uncle now. Meira has to bite back the urge to coo and possibly pinch his cheeks.

The other two in the group are people Meira doesn’t recognise, a teenage boy with close-cropped hair, and a young woman with cute dimples that show when she smiles at Meira in greeting. Meira smiles back with extra warmth. “This is my brother, Sam.” Dean says, taking it upon himself to do introductions. “And this is Haley and Ben Collins. Their brother’s gone missing, which is why we’re here, looking for him.” He explains, gesturing.

“I hope we find him.” Meira says, specifically to Haley. She’s just decided that Haley is her salvation, and she offers her hand to the other woman to shake. “I’m Meira.” Haley takes her hand with just a hint of befuddlement.

“Alright, let’s keep moving.” Roy calls, before Meira can add anything else. She does let her hand linger, though, just a touch, before she retracts it. Their group moves off again, and Meira makes it a point to walk beside Haley.

“Tell me about your brother?” She asks, just to strike up conversation.

Haley glances at her sideways, but obliges. It’s clear she loves her family, just the way she talks about them, and Meira catches herself smiling for real, and not just as a flirtation, although it’s that as well. She does make a point to tell Haley how admirable she thinks it is, that sort of devotion to family, and Haley ducks her head with a rueful smile, bashful.

Behind them, Sam snickers. Meira glances back and catches a disgruntled pout on her dad’s face before he smooths it out into something more neutral once he realises she’s looking. She makes a bit of a show of glancing between Haley and Dean, and then grins, unrepentant, and shrugs in faux-apology. Dean snorts and waves her off, conceding defeat gracefully enough.

When Meira turns back around, Haley is watching her, one eyebrow arched. Meira refuses to feel sheepish at being caught out, and just nudges her with her shoulder, gentle and teasing, and asks her another question about her life. Haley rolls her eyes, but answers.

The conversation carries them on through the afternoon, until they reach a point where Roy stops. It’s almost a clearing, if it wasn’t for the waist-high undergrowth. “This is it.” Roy says, looking about them. “Blackwater Ridge.”

“What coordinates are we at?” Uncle Sam asks at once. Roy answers, and Meira aches a little at just how incomprehensible the numbers are. Before, she would have just known where she was, and she feels a little sick, being made aware of just how little she can tell about the world around her now. She looks around, hating how small she feels, how muffled everything is. She doesn’t dare try to reach out with her grace again, but she wants to, just to make that feeling of wrong go away.

“I’m going to go take a look around.” Roy announces.

Meira whips around to give him an incredulous look. He might not be in the know, might not realise that Sam and Dean are probably on a hunt right now, but even so, it seems reckless for anyone to go off on their own. “You shouldn’t go off by yourself.” Sam points out, so Meira doesn’t have to.

“I’ll go with you.” Meira offers, since no one else seems like they’re about to.

It earns her incredulous looks from all quarters, and a disparaging one from Roy. Meira gives him a hard look in return, the sort of ‘do you really want to try me, bitch?’ look that Pabbi has always told her makes her look like her qaada. And she might not be able to bring her grace to bear along with it like she usually does, but she is still an angel, no matter how constrained, and it would take a tougher man than Roy Roberts to not even blink in the face of heavenly wrath.

“Look,” he says in a carefully reasonable tone, “I know these woods, and I’m just going to have a look around, see if I can find any signs of people. I’ll be fine. You’ll be safer staying here.”

“You’d be safer staying with the group, too.” Dean interjects, making no effort to sound inoffensive. Roy gives him a sour look.

“Why don’t we all go?” Haley suggests, all false brightness and impatience.

Roy raises his hands in frustrated surrender, and heads off into the woods. The rest of them follow along like good little ducklings. They do spread out a little as they go, looking for any signs of other people in the area. Meira is not an expert woodsman, but she’d learned a few things growing up with a hunter family, and she tries to pay attention, to be helpful.

“Haley! Over here!” Roy shouts suddenly. Everyone bolts towards the shout, and they come out in a clearing with three tents lying there in mangled wreckages, blood-splattered and torn. “Oh my god…” Haley breathes, sounding horrified. Meira doesn’t blame her. She feels a little bit sick, too, and it’s not her brother’s campsite. The thought of something like this happening to Jace makes her want to smite something, and her grace roils under her skin, pushing at the boundaries of her physical form and aching every time it brushes against the inside of her skin.

“Looks like a grizzly.” Roy remarks, cool and practical.

Meira thinks not. Not only because if it was, it’s unlikely her dad and her uncle would be here, but also because there would be more blood and less wanton destruction if it had been a normal animal. If a bear had been hungry enough to hunt people, there would be a lot more blood, at least, and if it was pissed at them being on its territory, there would be bodies. But there aren’t. Just a bit of blood splattered about here and there, and a lot of claw marks.

Haley begins shouting for her brother, and Meira grabs her arm before she can walk any further into the camp. “Don’t.” She warns, eyeing the surrounding woods warily.

“What?” Haley demands, eyes a little wild. “Why not?”

“Something might still be out there.” Sam interjects, giving Meira a respectful nod. She tries to smile back, but she’s not too proud to admit that she’s scared. She ought to be able to tell what did this, to feel the spirits and souls around her and know. But she can’t.

“Sam!” Dean calls, and Sam heads off at a brisk clip.

Meira heads after him on instinct. Haley follows her for about three steps before Ben calls out in a voice that wavers despite his best efforts, and she turns back to him without hesitation. Meira catches up to Sam just in time to hear Dean saying “-tell you what, it’s no skin-walker or black dog.” Then Dean turns and stalls at the sight of her. “Uh…” He says, staring at her like a deer in the headlights.

In other circumstances, Meira might glory in making her dad look like that for once, instead of the other way around, but she’s still feeling unnerved enough that it’s hard to wring any humour out of the situation. “Why are we ruling out skin-walkers and black dogs?” She asks, propping her shoulder on a tree and crossing her arms. It looks less pathetic than curling her arms around her sides, but it still serves to make herself feel better. What would be best would be a hug from her dad, but there’s no way she’d ask for that when he’d probably just take it the wrong way.

“You-” Sam begins, realisation dawning in his expression.

“You’re a Hunter?” Dean demands.

“More or less.” Meira agrees. It’s never been a title that sits right on her shoulders. Not when she’s spent her whole life surrounded by people who actually dedicated themselves to the job, while she’s always felt more like a kid mucking about with a hobby. At Dean’s sceptical, bordering on suspicious look, she elaborates. “I was raised to it, but I’ve never… dedicated myself to it.” She hedged. “I just help out here and there when something crosses my path.”

“Right.” Dean acknowledges, and then jerks his head towards something behind him. Meira comes closer to look, and Dean explains the tracks. It’s almost like being a kid again, with Dad schooling her on this or that aspect of hunting.

“A skin-walker or a black dog could drag a person away, but you’re right, the tracks just stopping like that is weird.” Meira acknowledges, wracking her brains for what could do this. “A phantom cat could, too. Or a wendigo or a moonfiend. Or a harpy, maybe. It’s too early for a werewolf.”

“Werewolves don’t tend to drag their victims off, never mind vanish with them.” Dean points out.

“What’s a moonfiend?” Sam asks.

Meira blinks, reminded suddenly that this is not really her uncle. “It’s a… It’s kind of like a mothman, but less aggressive. They’re mostly harmless, actually, really shy, but if they’ve staked out a territory, you don’t want to go wandering into it.” She explains absently. “It’s just that they can fly, which would explain…” She gestures at the vanishing tracks. “Like Harpies. Wendigos are strong and agile enough to lift a human body, and phantom cats are spirits. It’s possible a phantom cats could transport a victim that way, but they don’t tend to drag people off, either.”

“Phantom cat. That’s the animal version of a poltergeist, right?” Dean checks.

Meira nods. “Yeah, pretty much. Although normal poltergeists generally just want to hurt or kill you, but some legends suggest that phantom cats steal souls.”

“The pattern of attacks would suggest it’s hunting, not protecting territory, so I don’t think it’s a moonfiend.” Sam adds with a grimace.

The three of them look at each other, all of them coming to the same conclusion, none of them actually willing to say it out loud. Before someone can muster their courage, the forest air is shattered with a shout.

“HELP!”

Meira startles, and then lurches into a run before she’s had time to think. Of course, Dean and Sam are already on the move, too, even as a second, and then a third cry echoes through the forest. They converge with the others, a wordless scream that sounds closer than ever egging them on. Then the forest goes silent, and they slow to a stop, wary and alert, listening hard. “It seemed like it was coming from around here, didn’t it?” Haley asks.

Meira feels painfully vulnerable, and she tests her grace, to see if she can conjure her blade. It’s made from her grace, and it’s still there, so the blade should be there, but when she tries to manifest it, a lance of white-hot pain ricochets through her, and she clutches at her wrist, gritting her teeth against the agony.

“Everybody back to camp.” Sam orders, and Meira obeys on instinct. She’s never felt so vulnerable before in her entire life, and it only gets worse when she realises they’ve fallen for a trap and all their gear is gone. Before, she wouldn’t have worried. She’s an angel, she can survive off the ambient energy of the universe if she needs to. It’s not fun, but it’s possible. But now, she has no idea what she can and can’t do. Her grace is still there, warming her bones, but every time she reaches for it, all she gets is pain.

“Alright, listen up.” Sam says briskly, looking around the camp with a tight expression on his face. “It’s time to go. Things have gotten more complicated.”

“What?” Haley asks, incredulous and irritated.

“Kid, don’t worry. Whatever’s out there, I think I can handle it.” Roy says, and Meira’s tempted to deck him for the condescending arrogance in his voice.

“If you don’t even know what it is, you have no idea whether you can handle it.” She snaps. It seems to startle everyone, but Meira doesn’t care. Yesterday, a wendigo wouldn’t have frightened her. She could move faster than it, could burn it to death with just a touch of the holy light in her soul, but today, she’s as helpless as Roy Roberts, and it pisses her off that he’s not as scared as she is.

“Sweetheart, when you’ve been hunting as long as I have, there isn’t much the woods can throw at you that you can’t handle.” Roy retorts smugly.

Meira scoffs incredulously, suddenly hating him. “Oh, that’s what this is. Did Sam taking charge just now wound your fragile male ego? Are you really going to put everyone here at risk because of your god damned pride?”

“How dare you suggest-”

“Hey, relax.” Dean interjects. Even though it isn’t directed at her, Meira can’t help but subside, too used to Dad mediating arguments between her and Jace, or her and Rob, or her and Pabbi that way.

Apparently, Uncle Sam hasn’t gotten the memo, though. “She’s right.” He says, as if Dad hadn’t said anything at all. “You have no idea what’s out there, what it can do. I’m just trying to protect you.”

“You, protect me?” Roy scoffs. “I was hunting these woods when your mommy was still kissing you goodnight.” He spits, getting into Uncle Sam’s face.

“Isn’t it about time you retired, then?” Meira snarks.

“You shut your mouth.” Roy barks, rounding on her.

“Okay, that’s enough!” Dad snaps, getting between them with both his hands out as if to physically hold them away from each other. “Just chill out, okay?” He prompts, giving Uncle Sam a pointed look. Meira tucks her arms around herself and tries not to freak out any more than she already has. Haley putting a hand on her shoulder makes her jump, but the comforting squeeze she gets helps a little.

“We don’t have time, Dean. We have to get these people out of here before this thing eats them alive.” Uncle Sam protests furiously.

“Look.” Haley speaks up, interrupting whatever Roy had been about to say in answer to that. “Tommy might still be alive.” She states, and Meira knows what’s coming next. She knows, because it’s what she’d say if it was Jace out here, in the claws of a wendigo. It’s what Dad would say if it was Uncle Sam. “And I’m not leaving here without him.”

“Then we’re going to need fire.” Meira says. “Lots and lots of fire.”

Blackwater Ridge, Lost Creek, Colorado – Saturday 12th November 2005

They build up a large campfire, and several smaller fires, too, and Meira helps her dad draw protective symbols around their camp. And then they sit and wait for morning or the wendigo, whichever comes first. The hours draw on interminably, and Meira sits right by the fire, close enough that she feels a little feverish with the heat baking her face, but it’s close enough that she could grab one of the big branches out of the fire if she needed to.

Sitting and waiting isn’t the best plan though, she thinks grimly. For morning, yes. Wendigos don’t really like bright sunlight, so they’ll have that small advantage once the sun rises, but after that? Haley isn’t leaving without her brother, and her brother, if he’s still alive, will be in the wendigo’s lair. Which they’ll need to find, and get into, and get out of, without dying or getting caught themselves.

“What’re you thinking?” Haley asks quietly, nudging her.

Meira glances at her, sees how worried she looks, and musters up a smile. “I’m trying to figure out how we’re going to find Tommy.” Haley blinks, then almost smiles, except not really. Meira knows the feeling, and goes back to staring at the fire. “Even if we kill this thing, we’d still need to find him, and… Shit, that’s a lot of wilderness to comb through.”

“We’ll do it.” Haley insists stubbornly. “I’ll do it.”

Meira smiles, slanting a fond look at her. “I know.” She assures her. “I have a little brother, too. I’d take on a wendigo for him, too.” That wouldn’t really have been saying much before, but now? Like this? She still means it.

“A…” Haley falters, frowning. “I’ve heard of that before. Isn’t that some sort of Native legend or something?”

Meira nodded. “Algonquian peoples, primarily. They tended to live more northward, where the long, lean winters often led to starvation. And starvation sometimes led to people who who looked at their families and friends, and saw not people they loved, but food.” Haley shudders in distaste. “And once they’ve eaten someone, they start craving it, and every time they eat someone else, they turn a little bit more monstrous.”

Haley gives her a sharp look, fear buried under anger. “You mean this thing’s going to eat Tommy?” She demands in a harsh whisper.

“It’s planning to, yeah. But it probably hasn’t yet.” Meira reassures, reaching out to put an arm around Haley’s shoulders. Haley grabs her other wrist in a desperate, unthinking motion, clinging to hope. “Wendigos are born of deprivation, they know what it’s like to go hungry, and they hate it. They tend to hunt in spurts, and hibernate for long stretches of time in between, but they don’t gorge themselves. They’ll take people alive if they can, so they have food for later.”

Haley squeezes her eyes shut. Then she sets her jaw and nods. “How can we kill this thing?” She asks in a hard voice.

Meira looks away. “I’m starting to wonder if we should.” She admits.

“What?” Haley asks, so sharply that Sam and Dean look over at them from where they’re sitting together across the fire, heads bent together and discussing something.

Meira opens her mouth to explain what she’s thinking, what she doesn’t want to be thinking, but before she can, someone out in the woods calls for help. She cringes, even as everyone else leaps to their feet, those with guns aiming them out into the night. She knows that it’s the wendigo, knows that it isn’t some poor bastard getting chowed on, but… well, before, she would have known, would have felt it, would have been able to tell for sure that, no, the only soul out there is the corrupted one of the wendigo. Now, all she has to go on is cold logic. It’s enough to convince her head, but not her soul.

Some part of her still feels the need to go and check, to be sure, because what if she’s just sitting here, listening to someone die when she could have helped them? Then the gunfire starts up. “I hit it!” Roy shouts suddenly, and Meira’s head jerks up just in time to see him dodging around one of their extra fires and rushing out into the woods.

She’s on her feet before she can think about it. Then she hesitates. What is she going to do, without her grace? But she can’t just leave him to his fate, either, no matter how much she doesn’t like him. “Don’t move!” Her dad orders, right before going after Roy himself.

That cinches it, really. Meira’s not leaving her dad out there with a wendigo. She snatches up one of the burning sticks, and bolts after them. “Meira!” Uncle Sam shouts, reaching out to try and grab her, but Meira’s played that game a million times, it’s habit to flex her grace to give herself just a little bit more speed so that she’s not where he expects her to be.

And this time, it works.

It’s such a relief she nearly stumbles, but she doesn’t have time to waste, so she catches her balance and runs on. She’s right behind Dad, and Roy is up ahead, and she can hear the wendigo in the trees. “It’s over here!” The wendigo calls with someone else’s voice, and Meira can see it reaching for Roy. The world blurs as she lunges, practically tackling Roy out of the way just as the wendigo’s hands flash out and the claws sink into her face.

She could retaliate, she has her stick, but she remembers the thoughts that had been plaguing her earlier, and doesn’t.

The wendigo jerks her, hard, but Meira’s grace isn’t gone. It’s just trapped, which means that when her neck snaps, it’s nothing more than a minor inconvenience. Painful, sure, but her grace heals the damage almost as soon as it’s been done. The wendigo gives her another shake, nearly breaking her neck again, and then wrenches the burning stick away from her, tossing it back down to the ground. She lets it, because she doesn’t want to have to heal being eaten, and then plays limp ragdoll as the wendigo darts off through the trees with her. It won’t fool it forever, but it should fool it long enough for it to take her back to its lair.

They drop back to the forest floor eventually, and then further down still, underground, Meira realises. A cave, or an abandoned mine, perhaps. She’s tossed into a larger cavern, lets herself roll limply along the floor, and the wendigo retreats. Meira’s just going to have to hope that her dad and uncle can keep Haley and Ben alive through the night.

“Ugh.” She groans and sits up, rubbing at the back of her neck. She’s human enough that that sort of damage is still unnerving, and leaves her feeling vaguely squeamish for hours afterwards. So worth it just to know her grace still works, though.

“Holy shit!”

Meira stills, looking around. The cavern is not, in fact, pitch black. There’s faint light seeping in from somewhere above her head, moonlight, and it’s just about enough for her to see by. There’s a man strung up from the rafters that looks enough like Haley and Ben that Meira feels pretty safe in guessing “Tommy Collins?”

“Yeah.” Tommy says breathlessly. “I thought you were dead.”

“That’s what I wanted it to think.” Meira tells him with a shrug, clambering to her feet and dusting herself off. “Now, let’s see if we can’t get you down.” She wishes, briefly but intensely, for her blade. It’s right there, sitting inside her soul, and she can’t manifest it. Instead, she casts about for something in the cave that they’re in, and settles on a broken shard of rock from the floor of the cave. It worked for prehistoric people well enough.

“How- how’d you know who I am?” Tommy asks after Meira’s been sawing at the ropes for a few minutes. They’re starting to fray, finally, which is a relief.

“Your brother and sister have come looking for you.” Meira tells him. “Brought me and a couple others along with them.”

“Oh, god.” Tommy groans. “Are they okay?”

“Worried about you, but otherwise, yeah. Last I saw, anyway. And D- Dean and Sam know how to handle a wendigo. They’ll look after them, I promise.” Tommy lets out a shuddering breath, nodding to himself.

“I think this is backwards.” Tommy says in a tone of forced cheer. Meira hums curiously, scowling at the rope as she continues to work at it. “We’ll the beautiful damsel is rescuing the handsome knight from the monster.” He points out.

Meira snorts her way into laughter, and leans back to get a better look at him. “You are cute.” She acknowledges, and in other circumstances, she might have flirted back, because she’s gotten the feeling that both Haley and Tommy are straight. “But your sister’s cuter.” She adds, going back to her work. The rope gives way before Tommy manages to muster up a response to that. He staggers when he drops, having been strung up for so long and deprived of sustenance that his balance is shot to shit. Meira catches him and slings one of his arms over her shoulder. “Do you know if your friends are still alive?” She asks him. There’s no one else in this cave, she doesn’t think, although she can’t be entirely sure of that with her grace locked down like this, but she’s pretty sure this won’t be the only place the wendigo has to stash its snacks.

She feels more than sees Tommy shake his head. “N-no, it-” He stammers out. “Oh god.” He says, and Meira recognises that tone well enough to shift the way she’s supporting him so that when he doubles over and retches, she doesn’t get covered in bile.

“Easy.” Meira soothes, rubbing a hand over his back. He dry heaves a few more times, but manages to regain control of himself after that. “Yeah, I can’t imagine watching something like that was any fun.” She muses, tugging him back upright and setting off. She hopes she can remember the way out. “Let’s get you out of here.”

“What about- about that thing?” Tommy asks her as they stagger along, into the first of several pitch-black tunnels.

“It’s almost certainly out in the woods right now, hunting the others.” Meira tells him, which she is aware is not as comforting as it could be, given that ‘the others’ includes family for both of them. Tommy swears, and Meira grimaces, figuring she can at least help a little bit. “Sam and Dean know how to handle something like this.” She assures him. “And they have plenty of fire. They’ll keep Haley and Ben safe. And I’m going to keep you safe.”

“In normal circumstances, that would sound ridiculous.” Tommy mutters.

“Don’t be sexist.” Meira chides, but she keeps her tone light, and gives him a gentle little jostle with her shoulder to let him know she’s mostly teasing. Then she sobers, because short of actually eating her alive, which admittedly is a possibility, the wendigo can’t kill her, but it could definitely kill Tommy, and if he’s going to play machismo bullshit because she’s a lady, she really does need to nip that in the bud. “But I’m serious. If it does come back, if we run into it, don’t you dare try to play the hero, alright?” She puts a touch of divine command into her tone. “I am not your responsibility, do not wait for me, do not come back for me, do not try to throw yourself into harms way to protect me. Am I clear?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Tommy mumbles, resentful and bewildered.

The rest of the slog out of the mines is made in silence, save for Tommy’s ragged breathing and Meira’s occasional curse when she makes a wrong turn and they have to double back. Finally, though, Meira picks out a hint of light and follows it to the exit. It looks like it might have been boarded up once, but the wendigo has made a neat little opening for itself, and she and Tommy stagger out into in the dim grey-blue light of false dawn.

Tommy chokes back a sob of relief. Meira grins at the sound and shifts him higher on her shoulder. “Come on, we don’t want to get caught here if it comes back.” She points out, and that convinces Tommy to pick up his pace. It’s still slow going, because he’s still pretty unhealthy after two days chained up in a cave with minimal sustenance. The wendigo probably wouldn’t have fed him, but they had been known to give captives water. They also have undergrowth to contend with now, and Meira might heal a broken ankle, but Tommy won’t.

“Where… are the others?” Tommy asks.

Which is a hell of a good question. “I have no idea.” Meira tells him, feigning cheer. “Right now our priorities are water and some way of making fire.” She informs him, and Tommy drags them to a stop.

Tommy clearly knows more about wilderness survival than she does, because within a few minutes of her pointing out a need for it, Tommy has somehow managed to get a small fire going. They’re still too close to the wendigo’s lair for Meira’s comfort, but having a weapon that might actually do something to it is more important than trying to escape something that could outstrip a bullet. They build up a campfire, draw some protective sigils, and Meira fashions them both makeshift torches, wishing bitterly that she wasn’t reduced to such primitive tools all the while.

Meira risks leaving Tommy alone with the sigils to protect him just long enough to see if she can find any hint of running water nearby. She does, so they relocate, going through the whole process of warding all over again, this time closer to the water. Tommy looks a lot better for the chance to drink and wash his face, and then they have to figure out what the hell to do next.

“Finding the others ought to be priority over killing the wendigo.” Meira muses. “There’s just the problem of how to actually go about that.”

Tommy nods grimly. “If it wasn’t for the monster out there that wants to eat us, I’d say set up a base camp, search outwards, leave signs.” He summarises. Meira is about to suggest that they should do exactly that, then, when a furious snarl echoes through the woods. Tommy flinches so hard he falls over where he’s sitting, only barely catching himself with one hand in the dirt.

“Think it noticed we’re missing?” Meira asks rhetorically.

They sit, tense and wary, in the ensuing silence, waiting for something to happen. It doesn’t for long enough that Meira begins to wonder if she should do something. Then the yelling starts. “Help! Help me!” Meira clenches her hands into fists, heart squeezing.

“You know that’s not going to work, right?” She calls, standing slowly and bringing two of their burning sticks with her, one in each hand. Tommy hisses at her, grabbing at the hem of her coat as if that might make her sit and stop baiting the monster. A snarl answers her words, echoing oddly as the wendigo moves mid-sound and the doppler effect turns it multi-toned. “What? Pissed because you couldn’t kill me? We’re pretty tough prey, I bet you’ve figured by now. All this exertion must be making you kinda hungry.”

The roar that follows shakes the forest, full of fury and malice, and Meira nearly giggles hysterically. She only has the barest idea of what she’s doing, and her hands are shaking with the terror of having a predator that’s bigger than her focused solely on her, but she knows, she knows from painful, bitter experience that making someone angry makes them sloppy in the short term. And any advantage she can wring out of this situation, she needs.

Tauntingly, she steps a little closer to the edge of the protective sigils. And there it is, sprinting too fast for the mortal eye to catch, close enough to make the underbrush rustle right next to where Meira is standing, but not quite close enough for her to hit with one of her torches. Meira doesn’t want to start a forest fire, but oh, boy, is she tempted right now. “Is that supposed to scare me?” She mocks.

The wendigo rushes by again, and then- stops. In plain view. Not even looking at her. Tommy makes a choked noise of horror, and the wendigo doesn’t even twitch. Meira is so tempted to lunge out of the sigils at it, but it’s too easy, and she hesitates. She hesitates like an idiot until it’s suddenly gone, bounding off into the forest, and she realises what must have happened.

It heard something she couldn’t. Something that was easier prey.

“For fuck’s sake!” She explodes, and goes after it, even though it’s probably going to get her eaten.

“Hey! Hey, wait!” Tommy calls.

“Stay in the circle!” Meira calls over her shoulder. “If it comes back, set it on fire!”

The wendigo appears in front of her in an instant. Meira swings on instinct, a little too slow because she’s so off her game right now, but a little too slow is still something, because the flames pass by the wendigo’s emaciated flesh with inches to spare, and it must feel the heat, because it shrieks, an awful, too human sound of pain. A huge clawed hand strikes out, and tears right through the sleeve of her leather coat and into the flesh beneath. “Shit!” She curses, pained and indignant in equal measure, because if she’s guessing right about the limits on her abilities, she’s not going to be able to fix that.

“Meira?!” Uncle Sam’s voice shouts.

The wendigo ignores him, which means Meira succeeded in pissing it off. She ducks the second set of claws aiming for her throat, and then swings both torches up and in. They crash into either side of the wendigo’s head, and the smell of scorched flesh fills the forest just as Sam skids into view. The wendigo screams, rearing back and disappointingly not dead. Meira gears up for another swing, and the wendigo bolts. It’s gone in a flash, and Meira is about to go after it, to press her advantage, but then Uncle Sam is right in front of her, eyes wide. “Are you alright?” He demands, looking between her face and her arm.

“I’ll be fine.” Meira assures him, lowering her arms and hissing when the wound pulls. “My jacket on the other hand…” She bitches, tugging at the shoulder to get a better look at the tears. She whines when she gets a proper look at the damage.

“You bitch-slapped a wendigo in the face with a medieval torch, and you’re just upset about your jacket?” Sam asks incredulously.

Meira considers that. “I… huh. That was pretty cool, wasn’t it?” Sam snorts, shaking his head like he genuinely can’t believe her. Meira grins, before the situation catches up with her, and she jerks her head back the way she came. “We should get behind the wards I set up if we’re going to catch up.”

Sam, though, shakes his head. “I’ve gotta-” He gestures after the wendigo. Meira is just about to point out that running off half-cocked is going to get him dead, despite the disorientation of having to tell her Uncle that, when he goes on. “It took Dean and Haley.”

Meira stares at him for a long moment, then tips her head back. “Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!” She whines at the sky. “I just got Tommy out!”

“You got Tommy?” Sam echoes, brightening.

Meira nods, and realises there’s really only one thing for her to do. “I’ll wait with him while you go help the others?” She offers, and Sam nods once, sharp and decisive. Meira thrusts one of the torches at him. “Here. Take that.” Sam does, muttering a quick thanks before he’s rushing off again, and Meira goes back to sit with Tommy.

It’s not even half an hour later when she hears footsteps, people moving through the woods, and then the others appear through the trees, all of them in a straggly exhausted group. Haley and Ben both let out cries of relief when they see their brother, and stumble into a sort of run while Tommy clambers to his feet in order to embrace them.

“Wendigo’s dead?” Meira checks.

“Yeah.” Dean confirms. “Shot it point blank with a flaregun.” He adds proudly. Meira whistles, impressed. Dean grins back at her. “Heard you hit it in the face with a torch?” He asks, jerking his head at Sam to indicate just where he heard that. “Pretty awesome.”

Meira shrugs, grinning bashfully. “I did what I could.”

Then she realises that Roy is watching her very intently. He looks more than a little worse for wear, something a bit wild around his eyes that suggests he’s not taking the existence of the supernatural very well at all. “You’re alive.” He says when Meira catches his eye.

“Yeah.” Meira confirms.

Roy swallows. “Coulda sworn that thing broke your neck.” He says, all of a sudden not quite able to look at her and instead staring somewhere over her shoulder.

“Oh, man, it tried.” She replied, grinning in a strange, giddy relief at the memory of how easily her grace had healed her. “Shook me like a ragdoll. But I’m fine.” She adds to reassure him, because he still looks a bit haunted.

Roy nods. There’s a long pause, and then he clears his throat. “You saved my life. When I was being an idiot.” He adds briskly, grimacing at himself. “Thank you.”

Meira shrugs, smiling ruefully. “Just because you’re an asshole, doesn’t mean you deserve to die.”

Dean snorts in amusement at that, and interrupts before Roy can say anything else. It doesn’t look like he knows what to say in any case. “Come on, let’s get back to civilisation. I don’t know about any of you lot, but I’m getting a little sick of these woods.”

No one’s going to object to that, so they get themselves organised, and follow Roy’s recovered GPS out of the forest. Along the way they discuss what, exactly, to tell the authorities, getting their stories straight. Meira’s mostly quiet as they hike, trying to figure out what she’s going to do now. Ideally, she wants to stick with Dean and Sam, but she isn’t entirely sure how to go about inviting herself along. She knows from her dad’s stories that he and Uncle Sam had been kind of codependent when they were younger, and trying to insert herself into such a close-knit dynamic is going to difficult.

She still hasn’t come up with any good ideas when they get back to a road and call the paramedics. Then it’s all chaos as everyone asks questions and gets medical attention. Sam tries to point the paramedics at Meira, but Meira dodges them with the excuse that it was just a scratch, she’ll be fine. “Hey.” Someone says behind her, and she turns to find Haley standing there, looking exhausted and overwhelmed.

“Hey, you alright?” Meira checks, touching her lightly on the arm.

Haley nods. “Thanks to you.” Meira shakes her head, but Haley presses the point. “You saved Tommy. You saved my brother.”

Meira relents with a smile, and shifts her hand up to brush her knuckles lightly over Haley’s cheek. “I’m glad I could help.” She says sincerely. Haley huffs, smiling incredulously.

“You never let up, do you?” She asks.

Meira shrugs and retreats. “I do mean it.” She points out.

Haley considers her for a long moment, then nods. “Yeah, I got that.” She acknowledges. Then she glances over to where Dean is finally escaping the paramedics himself. “I should go and say thank you to them, too.” She says, and Meira nods, watching her go. She watches them talk for a moment, before an idea occurs to her, and she hurries off to pickpocket a ranger, talk to Roy, and then circle back around to Haley. She gets there just in time to hear her say “Must you cheapen the moment?”

“Yeah.” Dean replies, as if it should be obvious.

Haley shakes her head, catches sight of Meira, and rolls her eyes. “The pair of you, I swear.” She huffs, and Meira grins. She’s heard it before, mostly from Qaada. Dad always protested that she’s way more like Pabbi, but given that the pair of them are the same flavour of irreverent flirt, she figures that’s one and the same.

Meira flips her stolen pen over in her fingers and proffers it to Haley. Haley takes it with a quizzical expression, while Meira shoves up her sleeve and presents her arm to her. “Gimme your number, and once I can get my hands on a new phone, I’ll text you.”

Haley narrows her eyes playfully. “And why should I?”

For once, Meira doesn’t rise to the bait. “Because then if you get into any other trouble, or if you see anything else weird, you can call me.” She explains. Haley’s eyes widen a little, and then she nods and scribbles a phone number onto Meira’s arm.

“Smooth.” Dean comments, half complimentary, half resentful, and Meira elbows him in retaliation. He elbows her back.

Haley shakes her head at both of them again, and then, surprising the hell out of Meira, she leans in and kisses them each on the cheek, Meira, and then Dean. “I hope you find your father.” She says to Dean, who sobers at that, and then Sam and Ben amble over and Haley guides Ben off to go to the hospital with their brother.

“You going to be alright getting home?” Dean asks, startling Meira out of watching the little family leave in the ambulance.

Meira winces, trying not to think too hard about exactly how far away from home she really is. Dean catches it and raises his eyebrows at her. Over his shoulder, Sam is frowning in concern. “Don’t really have one of those anymore.” She admits quietly, since it’s mostly true. She’s just muddling her tenses a little bit. She swallows and glances sideways at Dean. “Mind if I hitch a ride with you guys?”

Dean glances back at Sam, who shrugs. “Sure.” Dean says, a little uncertainly. “I guess.”

Relief makes Meira’s shoulders slump. “Thanks.”

“You really don’t have anywhere to go, huh?” Sam asks, sounding sympathetic.

Meira gives a slightly bitter laugh at that. “No, I don’t. It’s… it’s all gone.” She raises her arms a little in indication. “This is everything I have right now.”

“Shit.” Dean breathes. “What happened?”

“What always happens to hunters.” Meira hedges, tucking her hands into her pockets and hunching into her coat uncomfortably. It’s not even entirely a lie. “They missed one, and it came back to bite them.”

“Well, you can stick with us for a while.” Sam offers.

“Thanks. I don’t mind helping you look for your dad for a while as repayment.” Meira replies, and they both nod their acceptance. Then Dean tips his head towards the Impala, and Meira goes, aware of the pair of them following along behind her.

She’s pretty sure she’s not really meant to hear it when Dean says, in an undertone. “Sam, you know we’re going to find Dad, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” Sam agrees heavily. “But in the meantime… I’m driving.”

There’s a long pause, long enough for Meira to reach the back door of the Impala and turn to look at them. She’s just in time to see Dean flip the keys across to Sam, and she ducks her head on a smile. As long as she’s stuck here in the past, this is exactly where she wants to be; with her family.

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abbeyfangirl · 4 years

Text

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum.

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so.

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

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tiaragqueen · 5 years

Text

At The End Of Her Tether

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Wu Yifan x Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,6k

✂ Trigger Warning: Isolation, possessive behavior, jealousy, slight angst, demeaning nicknames, yandere theme.

✂ This story is fictional and for amusement only. I don't believe any of the members would do this in real life. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day! [Edited]

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

"You're reaching out, and no one hears your cry. You're freaking out again, cause all your fears remind you. And all the dream has come undone." - Desperate [David Archuleta]

Two years.

It’s been two fucking years since you left him. Him, the only one who loved you. Him, the only one who cared for you. Him, the only one who knew everything about you.

And him, who sacrificed everything just to be with you. For you.

Kris was a man of few words. That, and his inability to fully express his feelings made him unreadable to others. For these very reasons, many people dubbed him as ‘boring’, ‘too quiet’, and to some extent ‘robot’. It hurt to hear those demeaning nicknames just because he possessed high self-control, especially the latter.

Just because he rarely showed emotions didn’t mean he was a robot. He, like any other humans in the world, had feelings. He did feel angry, sad, content, excited, and sometimes a mixture of all those things. He did feel the emotional rollercoaster sometimes, and he did cry once in a while. It was a shame that very few people realized that, and went on with their shallow judgments. They spread lies to the others to make them believe he was a pathetic loser with no friends. That pathetic loner who had trust issues because he was too cynical.

That pathetic loner with nobody to love, and to be loved.

Kris used to pray for a miracle; for someone to notice how lonely and hurt he was. He’d prayed for someone to befriend him, to go through thick and thin with him, to be loyal to him despite his distant attitude. He didn’t really think about a lover that time, as he considered dating someone to be too much of a stretch.

And God eventually granted his heartfelt wishes.

It was one overcast day – snowdrops falling from the cloudy sky and the atmosphere was bleak overall – during his first encounter with you. You were working as a cashier in some convenience store when a tall man approached the counter. He was buying toiletries and groceries, but that wasn’t what caught your attention. It was the bags under his eyes; definitely bigger and darker than yours. From his appearance, you deduced that he couldn’t definitely be older than twenty. However, his exhausted face made him look like a thirty-or-something.

“Hey, you’re okay?”

Kris glanced up from the iron countertop, finding you staring at him with a concerned mien. Not wanting to waste his time chatting around with some random stranger – and a staff nonetheless – he silently nodded.

“Oh, well,” you coughed into your palm, suddenly became conscious that you might have been a bit rude towards him. “It's just... you look very tired.”

“I didn’t have much sleep last night.” he murmured, voice so soft you almost misheard it.

You frowned. “Well, that’s not good at all. You look younger than me, and yet your face seems like an old man. A jaded old man.”

Curiosity peaked, Kris asked. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-five.” You bit your bottom lip at the sudden realization. “Oh, man. I just realized how old I am. This is why I avoid talking about age.”

Kris smiled. It was small – you weren’t sure if you saw it had his eyes didn’t soften a little – but it made your heart flutter nonetheless. You always loved bringing a smile on to other people’s faces, no matter how minuscule it might be.

“You know, your smile is very beautiful.”

Caught off guard, Kris snapped his head towards you at a surprising speed. You smiled and maintained steady eye contact, showing him your sincerity. Blood slowly rushed into his cheeks as he bowed in bashfulness.

“Thank you...”

Ever since that day, Kris made an effort to shop in that store more often and talked with you. You also began to exchange your number, leading to deep conversations in the middle of the night. The night where his depression hit him. The night where he couldn’t sleep because he was too busy thinking about you.

What were you doing?

Have you eaten yet?

Did you get enough sleep?

Whenever you were absent or on a vacation, he felt a slight pang in his chest. Kris used to think that it was odd to get attached to a new friend, but after meeting you, he started to consider that maybe – just maybe – you weren’t so bad at all. You were easy-going, understanding, and sympathetic. You never seemed irritated whenever he texted you on ungodly hours or calling you because he was struck with a longing to hear your voice.

That soothing voice that always eased his tensed nerves. That giddy voice when you told him something interesting that happened today. That melodic laugh that echoed in his mind when he made a joke.

Kris never perceived himself as funny, but after listening to you laughed to a corny pun that he made on the spot, he endeavored to be as funny as possible. He wanted to be the reason for your smile, of your laughter, the same way you made him smile that time.

That wish to bring happiness to you eventually blossomed into romantic feelings. He couldn’t help it; you were too precious for him. You had proven yourself as a worthy and loyal friend, and Kris desired a deeper relationship with you. He didn’t want to lose you to anyone else.

Which led him to confess to you.

It took a long time for you to accept his confession. Not because you didn’t like him – you did, yet the sentiment was nothing compared to his – but because you wanted to make sure he wouldn’t cheat on you. That this relationship wouldn’t be a waste of time. You were aware that it was impossible to control people’s feelings, because who knows what would happen a month or a year later? Then again, the chance of him being disloyal to you was slim. But you wanted to ensure things wouldn’t change in the near future.

And Kris held on to his vow. The vow to be a good boyfriend and a best friend, because being in a relationship with you didn’t mean he would stop befriending you. He knew that those two could be very different things depending on the problems that arise.

It was truly a delight to date him. He was a hundred times more caring, kinder, and attentive than he already was. It was like he had developed a sixth sense to detect your wants and negativity that came from day-to-day troubles. You appreciated his efforts to always put your needs above his, even though you had repeatedly told him to think about himself too.

Everything was sunshine and rainbow. You grew to love him even more; his little quirks, attitude, looks, and everything he had offered. However, you had underestimated how jealous he could be given the circumstances. It didn’t matter if you were merely glancing at a random person, he would still take it to the heart.

“Kris, let me out, please! I’ll do anything just please... please don’t lock me in here. Please!”

Your scream and sobs echoed in the otherwise quiet house. Kris leaned against the wall beside the door that led to a room; devoid of any furniture except a single tray that contained your dinner. He didn’t know if you had eaten it yet, seeing as you had passed out from fatigue during the daytime earlier. It was a waste of food, but he was fully aware that all you needed was freedom. A breath of fresh air. Not a small room with the dizzying smell of paint wafting around.

“I'm begging you, Kris, let me out! I’ll promise I won’t talk to him again! I’ll do anything, just please let me out!”

Kris squeezed his eyes shut to prevent the tears from leaking as he listened to you coughing and whimpering inside. He didn’t want to do this – heck, he was willing to gloss over it – had you didn’t choose to escape.

Then again, if anyone – any sane person – were to look at it through another point of view, it would be understandable if you made such a rash decision. Kris could be cruel if he wanted to, and although his punishment was normally sexual, you refused to lay on the bed crying your heart out. It was enough that you had more than enough time stewing over what had been, over what you had missed.

Just for once, you wanted to be able to independent. You wanted to be free from his suffocating clutch. You wanted a taste of freedom; something that you used to take for granted.

But that choice only turned to bite you back in the end.

The door creaked after you had collapsed from hours of wailing and sobbing. Even though you saw Kris slinking inside, even though you were begging for him less than five minutes ago, you had never been happier at the sight of the light that poured inside the room. It gave you hope that you were still alive – that you didn’t need to be trapped in this hellhole again.

And perhaps, you could regain that freedom you had so carelessly let go in a moment of complacency. No matter how farfetched it might sound. No matter how laughable the mere notion of you escaping his tight hug.

“You promise to be a good girl, right?” he whispered in your ear as he caressed the hair that clung on to your sweaty forehead. “You promise to never leave me again, right? I’d hate to do this for the second time if I see you repeat your mistake.”

Or maybe not.

Sighing, you closed your eyes and buried your tear-stained face against his chest. You were tired. So, so tired it felt like your soul had left your body.

It would be good if that was true. If that could be reality. At least, you never had to deal with him again.

“Yes...”

#yandere kris #yandere kris wu #yandere exo #yandere kpop #yandere kpop au #kpop yandere #yandere exo au #yandere kris x reader #yandere kris wu x reader #yandere exo x reader #yandere wu yifan #yandere wu yifan x reader

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rhabakoli · 5 years

Text

Infinite White - 12

Previous chapters here

not beta read, as always. (anyone volunteering?)

Taglist: @dreamwritesimagines @i-am-always-famished @marauderskeeper @superwolfchild-fan @m00nlightdelights @cgn-99 @alicedopey @alwaysadreamingoptimist @atlas-of-the-world @finnickfoxes @rmwest9

After Alvin finally gave up - not without flipping them off - Fenja grabbed Ragnar's hand and pulled him along, out of the hall and into the stairwell. It was quiet there, not a single soul in sight.

“Okay, what the fuck?” She whirled around, hand on her hips and raised an eyebrow at her friend.

“What's gotten into you?!”

Ragnar’s expression was grim, determined, and maybe a little bit pouty. “I don't know what you mean.”, he answered. Definitely pouty, he sounded like a boy who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“I am talking about the shit show in there, and you basically going all Wolfie McWerewolf on Alvin!”

Now it was Ragnar who was raising an eyebrow. “You telling me you like the guy? Want me to go get him then? So you can pity the fool?”

His mood had swung back to venomous and angry so fast, Fenja thought she'd get whiplash.

“What?” She was clueless, about the whole situation. “Did you even hear what I was saying? I'd rather lick the bottom of your shoe, than enjoy the company of a guy who thinks a boyfriend could make decisions for me.”

Ragnar took a step forward, caging her against the wall, face just in front of hers. “Why are you defending him then?”

“I am not!” Fenja let out a groan, then a sigh. Fighting him on this wouldn't help, he wasn't even listening to what she said.

“I don't want you to get into trouble, idiot.”, she whispered into the space between them. Ragnar didn't react, he just kept watching her face. So she watched him back, observing his posture, how he was tense all over, the look on his face she couldn't find the right name for. Maybe it was a bit of frustration, anger, desperation?

She raised her hands, took hold of his face and stroked her thumbs over his cheekbones. “What is going on, Rags?”

Hearing her use his nickname for the first time, had him deflate. His shoulders relaxed, his hands weren't pressed to the wall anymore, his arms bend, as he blew air through his nose and leaned his forehead against her shoulder. “I don't know.”

Fenja's hands wandered to his neck, one went up into his hair, the other remained. Her nails were scratching his scalp lightly, sending shivers down his back, forcing him to relax, rest more of his weight against her.

“It's okay. We'll file it under 'bad day’ and be done with it.” She pressed a kiss to the side of his head, just above his ear, and pulled him close, an arm now wrapped around his middle, never stopping her head scratches. Ragnar, despite towering over her, never had been more comfortable, more at home. He turned his head, pressed his face against her neck and brought down his arms, hands gripping her waist.

His breathing wasn't as even and deep as it could have been, so Fenja started to talk to him, talk about that day in the zoo, where her parents fought over what stuffed animal to get her. In the end, she went home with double the amount sane parents would have approved of.

Warm puffs of air tickled her skin, a particular deep breath here and there, the soft strands of hair under her fingertips made her wonder if he really did steal Aslaugs conditioner, or if she was just forgetful. Ragnar was coming back to himself, conscious about his behaviour and so embarrassed. He pressed his face harder against her neck, his nose dragging over her skin as he burrowed in. He never wanted to look at her again. He behaved like a crazed animal, a complete lunatic. A jealous monkey. “I'm so sorry.”

It was muffled, barely audible, but she felt it against her skin, felt the vibrations going through his chest.

She patted his back, gently grabbed his hair and pulled slightly, making him raise his head reluctantly.

“You okay now? Can we go back to your sister?”

His hands flexed against her sides, telling her how indecisive he actually was.

“We can also stay here a bit longer, Ingrid will call if she needs anything, but I'm sure she's fine, being surrounded by a bunch of fellow intellectuals.”

Her voice was soft, a teasing lilt to it, her hands a comforting weight on his skin.

“But how about we sit down, you're twice my height, Rags, holding you up is a two woman job, at least.”

He let himself be lead over to the stairs, his mind going through the last couple hours, trying to pinpoint where and when he lost it.

“Stop thinking.”, Her voice came from behind. Fenja had sat down behind him, bracketing him with her legs and rubbed her hands over his shoulder blades, up and up until she could drag the back of her nails over his scalp again.

“I'm sorry, Fenja.”

“I know.”

“I don't know what exactly happened there.”

“That I know too.”

“I'm so sorry.”

“I know you are.”

He turned, one large hand wrapped around her calf, the other scratching his stubbled cheek. “I guess, I went a bit overprotective there.”

Fenja grinned, nodded and pulled his ear lobe. “I know, it won't change anything, but, man. You read don't have to be protective over me, Ragnar.”

Oh, yes. Yes, he definitely had to be. She was so precious, so valuable, not only to him, but to so many people, he couldn't let anything ever happen to her. Some day, he'd tell her. For now, he just nodded. “I know. I didn't think.”

Fenja smiled at him, kissed his head and resumed the coddling.

“Mom.” Queenie looked up at her youngest, who was standing in the door to her office. “Hi, sweetie! How was the presentation?” “It was awesome. And thanks for not telling the others. I’d probably have puked from nervousness, if you all had sat in the crowd.” “Of course. but, so you know, your father hired a camera guy, who filmed the whole thing.” “You’re kidding.” “No, child, I am not.” “Oh hell no.” Ingrid was petrified. She had been filmed. On stage. Hell to the no. “I’m afraid so.” her mother waved her over and pulled her close by her side. “I’ll make sure no one ever gets to see it, love.” “Thanks, mom.” Then she remembered why she even came to her in the first place. “Mom, uhm, we have a problem.” “Why? What happened?” Her voice was concerned, as was her face. She immediately went through a million solutions for a problem she didn’t even know yet. “Your son happened. He turned into dad.” Ingrid sat down in one of the comfy arm chairs. “You remember that guy you met during dinner once? The one who was in love with you back in High school?” “Oh no.” “Oh yes.” “So, he knows?” “No, he’s kinda overwhelmed and doesn’t know where to put his feelings.” “He really is like his father, wow.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. “Okay, thank you, love. We don’t want to lose Fenja, no?” “I like my future sister-in-law very much, I’d like to keep her.”, Ingrid shrugged nonchalantly. “Are they here?” Ingrid nodded, pointed her thumb over her shoulder. “In the living room. She’s cuddling the dog, and Rags is absolutely trying to not pine.” She grinned at her mother’s eye rolling. “Sometimes I think he’d be better off, if he was all me.” “Yeah, I bet.”

Fenja was on the phone with Maeve, walking down the pier - freaking rich people - and told her about Ragnars little freak out. “I’m telling you, you’ll kiss before summer.” “Only when hell freezes over, bitch.” “Uh hu. Sure. Anyway. How was Ingrid?”

“We need to talk about your son.” When he looked up, his eyes fell upon his wife, standing in his office, hands on her hips and staring him down with those beautiful eyes of hers. “You mean our son.” “No, not when he’s behaving like a wild, mad boar trying to mark his territory and just barely managing not to piss on his girl.” Both his eyebrows climbed up to his hairline. “He’s what?” “Apparently he has your jealous behaviour. Has better self control though.” “He hasn’t.” “No, he has.” “How do we know?” “He almost attacked a guy at Ingrids convention. He looked at Fenja too long, ir with the wrong mimic, could be anything with you Ragnarssons.” “He has you genes as well, love.” “So?” Ivar grinned. “My sweet, sweet wife. You do remember blackmailing my Eco Professor so he’d move Arna into another course?” Her face was blank, void of any emotion, as she shrugged. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Sure you don’t.” Ivar reached out, wanting her to come over to him. She did, leaned her butt against the edge of his desk and crossed her arms on front of her chest. Ivar rolled his chair closer, curled his hands around her knees, his fingertips tickling the back of them, slowly stroking up her thighs, increasing the pressure. He also leaned in and pressed a kiss to her belly. “I always liked your jealous side, wifey.” “It’s not healthy for Ragnar to be like that. He needs to know how bad it can get.” She raised a hand, ran her fingers through his hair and watched him closely. He nodded, pressed his head against her hand, like a cat demanding scratches. “I will. I promise.”

Ragnar was face down on his bed, when his father walked in, knuckles knocking on the door. “You got a minute?” “Mhhm.” “I heard about your little slip-up.” The deep groan and muffled “Just kill me please” coming from his son made him laugh. “No, I don’t think we need to pull such disastrous measures.” He sat next to him, hand on his back. “C’mon, we need to talk.” Ragnar turned his head, glanced at his dad with one eye and - wow, he reminded Ivar of himself when he was young and in love for the first time. “I know it was stupid and impulsive. I don’t know what happened. I just know I wanted to bash whats-his-name’s face in.” “Now you know how I felt the first, I don’t know, six months of your mums and my relationship.” Now, that got his son’s attention. “What do you mean?” “Son, I’ve done some humongously stupid shit, believe me, I know how you felt right then. And trust me, it gets that much worse.” He cleared his throat, sat straighter. “Did your mum ever tell you about that one time I almost destroyed everything we ever built?” Ragnar was clueless, shaking his head. “I heard something, I believed it, and accused her of cheating and some other stuff. It’s like a dark version of tunnel vision, you can’t get out that easily. Neither of us want that kind of thing to happen to you, ever.” “Mom would never cheat on you!” “I know, I know. That’s what I am saying. You have my temper, when it comes to the people you love. We need to learn how to control it, how to ignore that hot, all-consuming pit in us. That’s the only way to ever have a healthy relationship.” Ivar scratched his cheek. “I also doubt Fenja would put up with even half the shit your mother put up with.” “I think your marriage contract might have played some part in that, no?” Ivar smacked his cheeky son over the head and pointed a threatening finger at him. “We pretend it didn’t.” He became serious again. “Son, you know we love you, we want to help you as much as we can. Come to us when you’re overwhelmed and don’t know how to deal.” Ragnar nodded, face somber. “Good. Also, think about why you reacted that strongly to a guy talking to Fenja. And then finally tell her, boy.” He leaned over, pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead and then got up. At the door, he turned around and winked at him. “Tell us how it went.”

The Ivarsson kids and Fenja were strewn throughout the Library, Fenja and Ragnar on the loveseat, her feet in his lap as she hung her upper body backwards over the armrest to pet Bear. “That looks mightily uncomfortable.” “I am not though.” “Are you sure?” “Absolutely.” Ragnar was listening to her conversation with his sister, while he watched her arch and bend, and tried not to groan out loud. The convention definitely was a hit to the head, and the conversation with his father definitely had helped him get his head on right. But now he couldn’t not think about her, think about having his hands on her at all times, about…. “Ragnar!” He flinched, looked up at his sister. “What?” “You okay there?” “Yeah. I’m fine.” Ingrid squinted at him. “Sure. Okay. Aslaug was just talking about her date with that guy from her Uni.” “Yeah, and I also said I’d never see him again and I’ll let our parents arrange a marriage for me.” “You don’t mean that.” “Oh, but I do. Did work out amazingly with theirs, didn’t it?” That made Fenja shoot up, her back making the most painful noises, but she ignored it in favour of gaping at her friends. “Excuse me, what did you just say?” All three of them turned to her, then threw each other looks. “Oh. Right. She doesn’t know.” Fenja scooted closer to Ragnar, her knees now bend over his legs, and he couldn’t resist putting a hand on them. “Yeah, their marriage was arranged. Mom was, what, 20?” Aslaug nodded. “Something like that. Dad wasn’t much older. Their parents wanted their empires to merge, but in a way that was more intimate than a simple business thing. Their children were just the right thing to use for that.” “Oh, come on, you make it sound like they were forced into it.”, Ingrid protested. “Well, they were!” “I can’t imagine either of your parents get forced into anything, to be honest.”, Fenja interrupted, getting their attention again. “They weren’t.” Now all their eyes were on Ragnar. He shrugged, the palm of his hand rubbing over Fenja’s knee. “Mom told the story at least a hundred times. Was my favourite bedtime story when I was a cheeky wee lad, apparently.” Fenja ignored the ‘cheeky wee lad’, instead she scooted even closer, clasped her hands under her chin and looked up at him with wide eyes, expecting to get the story out of him. Her heels were pressing into his thigh, effectively trapping him. “So? What’s the story?” “Dad had seen her around, on campus. They went to the same university. And it seems, he had a little mishap when he first saw her. He completely froze up, and he hasn’t said a word against that marriage since then.” “Wow.”, Ingrid said. “The way you tell a story is amazing. Terrific, so detailed.” “Oh, fuck off.”, he laughed. “But, is there a contract? Can they get divorced?” “Yes.” Fenja wasn’t finished yet though. “Is there a paragraph about where to live? How they have to run the company?” She gasped. “Oh my god, were you all included in that contract?!” Aslaug promptly choked on air, Ingrid blinked at her, trying to follow her train of thought. And Ragnar just started laughing, head thrown back and face happy. “No, love, no. We were just a lucky byproduct. Our grandparents weren’t that cruel.” “Wait, but, either of your uncles could have ended up in your dad’s place?” “Theoretically. But our parents were closest in age, so it fit.” Fenja didn’t catch the sweet name he called her, but his sisters definitely did. They were throwing each other looks, Ingrid clasped a hand over Aslaug’s arm, nails caught in her sweater. There was some internal screaming going on - both, because Ragnar was spaz enough to call her love, and also because Fenja was the most oblivious person ever. “So, they were in love?” “They still are, thank you very much.” “They are not seeing other people then?” Ragnar snorted, looked at his sisters. “Could you imagine either of them with someone else?” “Dad would probably run that man’s life.” “He would.” Ragnar had to think about what his father told him, how he felt when Alvin just looked at Fenja that way. “That man wouldn’t survive.” Fenja looked around, from sibling to sibling, then observed Ragnar closely. “If he’s anything like you, then I can imagine that very well.” “Yeah. Sorry bout that.” She just nodded, deep in thought. Then her brows furrowed, her eyes went all squinty. “Did you just call me ‘love’?”

#Infinite White #IW #FOH #faint of heart #Faint of Heart Au #Vikings #ivars kids #ivar x oc #Ragnar x oc #slow burn #best friends to lovers #jealousy #a dreamwritesimagines production

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seitsemannen-blog · 6 years

Text

In this essay I will, a.k.a. GOT7 personalities as viewed by me

I was asked on curiouscat how I see GOT7’s personalities, but the character limit did not allow me to say what I wanted, so I made this. Hope it’s some interest to you? Don’t read anything into how lengthy each description is, I was distracted while doing this by a lot of things. Also don’t read anything into not mentioning some trait for all the members, I just tried to pick out things that stand out to me for each, and the lack of a mention of something does not mean the lack of it in general.

Mark is someone who thinks very carefully about their image and what they say, and who acts carefully and in a very considerate way in social situations. When he's comfortable, he's playful. I see him as someone who is level-headed and patient, someone who can appreciate silence, someone who thinks before they act. He's "quiet" because he observes a lot, and he doesn't like saying things that are worthwhile, and he doesn’t find himself as good with words as e.g. Jinyoung. The way Mark observes people makes it that he also notices things very well, and understands people very well. Mark doesn’t need nor does he particularly want attention on himself. He will always put others first. Mark works diligently, always seeking to improve himself, but he doesn’t ask or need credit for his own achievements, not needing or demanding anything for himself specifically, fine with fading into the background. However, he doesn’t discredit his own hard work or downplay it, he just never emphasizes it, naturally humble. This makes it that although he seeks to improve himself, he doesn’t look badly on how good he is right now, as a contrast to Jackson.

Mark has confidence, but not in overabundance. Because of the confidence, Mark doesn't feel the need to act cool or like anything that he isn't – he's cute and he embraces it, unlike Bambam who often wants to prove something. Mark doesn't make hasty decisions… usually, but he’s kind of impulsive at the same time, which is an interesting combination?? He’s a little adrenaline junkie, not afraid of putting himself in new or weird situations. He can get annoyed/angry very quickly, and he is not above sulking, although he doesn’t do it as obviously as e.g. Jackson. He gets hurt quietly, and bears it without making a fuss about himself. Mark is also loyal to a fault, but not naive. He’s unafraid to show affection and unafraid to cry when he gets emotional, and he gets emotional about the things he cares about.

Jaebum to me is a bit of a paradox, because on one hand he's mature and can act very level-headed when needed, but he's also very easy to get excited/playful or embarrassed, the latter of which he likes to play off as a temper, although he isn't actually angry. However, he is very competitive, and dislikes losing. He's a dork, really, embarrassing himself easily. A whole goof, going along with the others goofing around (really, Jinyoung is the only sane one). He also loves affection, but acts like he doesn’t like it, want it or need it. Jaebum just tries to play cool and mysterious and whatever, because that’s the type of person he wants to be. He is naturally manly but he also emphasizes it. Jaebum values comfort, wants to be comfortable, loves food and sleep, doesn't give too many fucks about what people think about him, since he has confidence in himself either way. He’s a person who is headstrong in what he wants, although he will take care not to hurt others with it. Similar to Mark, Jaebum does not feel the need to emphasize his skills, as similar to Jinyoung, he has confidence in what and who he is, and confidently pursues that, although he isn’t perhaps as ambitious as some of the others. Which is interesting, combined with how competitive he is.

A lot of how we see Jaebum is because of his role as the leader and the hyung, but in a different age-dynamic I think he is more of a cute dork than the responsible hyung he tries so hard to be. He feels the responsibility very acutely, and takes his role seriously. Interestingly enough, Jaebum is jealous of things in the way that makes him keep some things private simply because he wants to keep them for himself. He is very passionate about things.

Jackson. Oh, dear Jackson. He is someone who is half bravado – he tries to act like people expect him to, he tries to make every situation fun because it's what is expected of him, and he is very self-conscious and self-critical. He is very social and extroverted and doesn't get easily embarrassed. He hides his self-conscious self under that bravado, but under all that he is someone who feels responsibility very acutely, who always strives to be better although he is already so, so good, more than enough. He is naive in a way that has gotten him hurt. He gets hurt very easily, as he is very susceptible to critic and nasty words, although he has learned to take critic well as a means to improve (fencing on a national level). Jackson is not one to get easily angry, but he will get upset and he will remain petty forever if allowed to do so, and he will lash out when he gets upset by saying things he doesn’t probably mean, not realizing how much he hurts others.

Jackson’s lack of confidence makes him yearn for praise, and he gets pouty/sulky/annoyed very easily when he doesn’t get the praise or attention that he wants, and resigns himself that he or what he wanted wasn’t important anyway. This makes it that he easily gets talked over, because he will give the room for others, since he is very considerate and polite towards other people. Jackson doesn’t want to take too much space, he just wants to make others comfortable by making the fool out of himself, so others don’t have to. He isn’t very competitive for himself, but he is very protective of those he perceives as his own (e.g. when GOT7 competes against others). This is a curious mix because he wants to be always better, and he is very ambitious, but he doesn’t actually care if he loses in a game or something. He just isn’t satisfied with how good he is, ever.

Jackson is someone who needs his own space, someone who needs quiet to think, and he gets too easily stuck in negative thoughts. He doesn’t really need or want to be alone for long times. In social situations he acts often before he thinks, an opposite to Mark. He's charming and really really cute, and now that he has matured a little more, he doesn’t put up that super manly act that much anymore, which is lovely, because he should embrace his natural cuteness. He gets a little bashful, especially when praised or something that he’s happy about happens. However, Jackson is not shy at all. He’s naturally loud, but there’s a lot more beyond just his funny and extroverted personality.

Jinyoung a.k.a. The only sane one of the bunch-- no but more seriously, Jinyoung has been very mature from a very early age. Similar to Mark, he is level-headed, patient and very thoughtful, always conscious of his image. He is very focused on improving himself in every aspect, and although he is self-critical, he isn’t as extreme as Jackson is, and Jinyoung has a very steady confidence in himself. He appreciates silence, like Mark does, but fills it much more easily, as he is excellent at finding something good and intellectual to say in any situation. He’s the most well-spoken of the bunch. He just doesn’t feel the need to fill every silence like Jackson does. He has found who he is and who he wants to be, and he confidently does what he wants to do, following his own principles and not selling them for anything. However, he remains very humble in a way that he is not arrogant and wanting to be polite, but he doesn’t do it to downplay his achievements like Jackson does.

I really appreciate Jinyoung’s type of snarky dry humour. He likes to play up getting sulky about something that someone else said just to make a point, it’s his way of acting cute and getting his way. He gives off the image that he doesn’t actually believe what he’s saying when he acts sulky, he’s just playing with everyone’s hearts because he’s a sneaky bastard and when he puts it that way, everyone else just has to feel bad or come off as an asshole :D However, he is petty in a way that he won’t let things slide and that he will keep bringing up old feuds, although the latter is maybe mostly something he learned from Jackson. On the other hand, Jinyoung can get embarrassed quite easily, but he can endure it much better than the others, going along with e.g. the stuff that Jackson pulls although he’s embarrassed.

Youngjae is a perverted little ray of sunshine. He’s a goof like Jaebum, but he doesn’t even try to act like anything else. He’s similar to Jackson in the way that he’s loud but self-conscious of himself, although, as I’ve repeated many times already, not as extreme as Jackson, because no one is quite as extreme as Jackson. He’ll constantly worry about and work on his singing, wanting to be better in that more than anything else, because he just LOVES singing so much he couldn’t have been anything else than a singer. Youngjae is also a little naive, and gets easily hurt by critic and nasty words. He’s the kind to hide his pain and suffer alone, because he doesn’t find it easy to talk about those things. He’s rather independent and used to taking care of things by himself, not getting overwhelmed even in unfamiliar situations. He is, in fact, very difficult to get embarrassed or overwhelmed, as he takes things in a stride. He’s also very good at keeping things to himself (we don’t count singing the chorus of Fly too early because this boy can’t help but sing 24/7).

Youngjae’s type of humour is very crude, similar to Bambam and Yugyeom. He’ll play cute to avoid getting punished. He has more respect to the hyung-dongsaeng distinction than Yugyeom and Bambam, and he wants to act a good hyung for the two members that are younger than him. He, similar to Jaebum, prefers comfort over style, but Youngjae doesn’t feel the need to put up an act, he’s just. Self-conscious that who and what he is isn’t enough.

Bambam is similar to Jackson in the sense that he also has bravado to have him act the way others expect him to, although, once again, not as extreme as Jackson. Previously this made Bambam act cutesy, but now that he wants to be respected more as an adult, he tries to act more manly and mature, although he’s still not quite that mature and he just is naturally very cute and should embrace that confidently like Mark does. Bambam is silly and dorky very naturally, but beneath that, he is someone who is very sensitive and considerate of others, he just sometimes takes his jokes too far because he’s still not quite that mature. He just tries really hard to fit in and to be cool, but he’s sensitive towards critic and does understand when he oversteps and is corrected. Much unlike Mark, he needs acceptance and praise from others to be brave and take steps out of his comfort zone, not knowing he’s good in his own right unless he hears it from others, although Bambam will believe the words of praise, unlike Jackson.

Bambam is more aware of others than perhaps many think, and he’s a natural at understanding other people, their tastes and their feelings. He finds it easy to be friends with anyone, and gets along with people well. Like Jackson, Bambam wants to please others, and he gets very bashful in situations, similar to Yugyeom, although Bambam covers it better, or at least tries to. Bambam has a lot of respect for others. Both Bambam and Yugyeom are very much learning from their hyungs how to act, and thus a lot of their traits can be seen in them. Bambam is similar to Jaebum (and previously Jackson) in trying to emphasize his manliness which, uh. Is in vain, because he’s a cutie pie.

Yugyeom is a bashful big baby. He used to be very self-conscious because his tall giant giraffe figure didn’t fit a cute maknae image (pffft), but he seems mostly over that now. He’s just someone who is naturally bashful and playful and just such a cute little thing although he is a giant. Yugyeom is a little competitive, a little naive, someone who believes things too easily. He likes to antagonize his hyungs for attention, and because he will get away with it because he’s cute. Being a brat is the way he found for himself to act the role of a maknae without filling the traditional cutesy maknae image (lies). I don’t even know what he likes more, being put in his place or getting away with it, probably both.

Yugyeom has a lot of pride in his skills, very similar to Mark in the sense that although he seeks to constantly improve himself, he doesn’t look down on his current skills. However, Yugyeom will get embarrassed when he is recognized for his skills, or given spotlight, or a lot of attention. In fact, he will get embarrassed about anything very easily. Yugyeom violently cares about his GOT7 family to be happy and together, and he is very proud of them, although he will either downplay it or just get embarrassed. He cares a lot about other people’s happiness, although he isn’t quite as observant as some of the others, in fact, he will easily miss cues, ending up clueless or the last to know quite easily. He is very friendly and polite, and although he kind of wants attention and recognition, he won’t go around demanding it (except by being a brat to hyungs he is comfortable with).

#got7 #got7 personalities #but yes this is my opinion and my view not the absolute truth #im jaebum #mark tuan #jackson wang #park jinyoung #choi youngjae #bambam #kim yugyeom

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zoocross0vers · 6 years

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Raspberries Challenge Entry #1: Zootopia x Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Author’s Note: Apologies, I meant to update this yesterday but I really couldn’t find the time, so here it is! I also posted this on FanFiction, so if you prefer to check it out there you can find it there too. Note: Though I normally write in present tense, I went with past tense here. Just hope it reads good, it’s been a while since I’ve written in that style, lol! Hope you enjoy this and I’ll see you all next week for a Pinocchio crossover! xD

Judith Hopps and the Seven Dwarfs

Once upon a time, there lived a lovely little bunny princess named Judith Hopps. Her vain and wicked stepmother, Queen Bellwether, feared that one day Judith’s beauty would surpass her own. So she dressed the little bunny princess in rags and forced her to work as a scullery maid.

Each day, the vain Queen consulted her magic mirror. “Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?”

…….and as long as the mirror answered, “You are the fairest one of all.” Judith was safe from the sheep queen’s cruel jealousy.

...That is of course…

Until the magic mirror spoke otherwise, claiming Judith Hopps, the fairest one of all. A fact, which left the wicked sheep's blood boiling.

Princess Judith washed the bottom steps of the castle’s stairway, clad in a torn and patched up, dirty cream and brown colored dress, and a pale blue bow atop her head. Her attire, a complete contradiction to her actual royal status as the daughter of the true late rulers of the Hopps Kingdom, King Stuart and Queen Bonnie.

After giving the steps a good scrubbing, Judith sighed, brushing an arm across her brow. Clearly tired after a long day’s work. Alas however, the day’s work was not yet over.

Judith rose to her feet, bucket in paw to fetch more water from the nearby well to continue on with her duties.

She set the empty bucket down to pull up a fresh bucket of water from the well. Placing the full bucket beside her on the well’s edge, Judith gazed down below at the water in the well, viewing her reflection in the ripples of the water and taking in her dirty clothes and dirt covered cheeks.

Judith sighed once more, pulling out a locket hidden in her blouse. Within the locket was a small portrait of her dear deceased parents. “I suppose this isn’t how you pictured life to turn out for me after your marriage to Queen Bellwether, is it father?” Judith shifted her gaze back down to her reflection, then back at the locket. “It’s okay, I don’t blame you. You couldn’t have known how cruel she would be after your death,” she smiled gently at the locket, an understanding look in her eyes.

“Well, while I have you guys here…” Judith shifted her eyes right to left, making sure a certain sheep wasn’t watching. “Want to know a secret?” she whispered to the rabbits in the portrait, as if expecting them to answer as they once used to whenever she would regale them with her secrets. “Promise not to tell?” she giggled with a bashful smile.

Her cheeks blushed red as her innocent heart suddenly felt warm and full of love. “I had a dream last night, where a wonderful prince came to me and took me from this terrible place. I couldn’t see his face, but he had the most gentle voice and…” she puffed her chest to release an ecstasy ridden sigh, “he made feel worthwhile again. He made me feel...loved again.”

Judith gazed back at the locket -- no reaction from her parents, of course -- but she could swear she almost heard her mother remind her of something they used to do together from when Judith was a child. “What was that, Mother? You want me to sing our old song and wish it upon the well?” Judith giggled, “I haven’t done that since I was a kit.” She stared at her mother’s warm gaze in the locket, returning back a tender gaze of her own, “Very well then. If you insist.”

Judith looked back down the well, as her and her mother’s song began to swell in her heart:

We are standing by a wishing well

Make a wish into the well,

That's all you have to do,

And if you hear it echoing,

Your wish will soon come true,

Judith set her paws on the well’s edge to sing directly into it. Hoping, to hear her wish resonate back to her from the well’s echo.

I'm wishing,

I'm wishing ……...it echoed back.

For the one I love,

To find me

Today,

Today

I'm hoping,

I'm hoping

And I’m dreaming of,

The nice things,

The nice things

He’ll say,

He’ll say

As if magically summoned by her voice, a young fox prince by the name of Nicholas Wilde, suddenly made his way by the castle’s walls. Though he just happened to be passing by, he stopped dead in his tracks upon hearing the love stricken bunny’s soothing voice resonate past the walls. His ears stood erect, completely and utterly mesmerized by the sweet, angelic voice beyond the wall. “What’s that? It’s coming from over there.” He curiously made his way toward the source of the singing, climbing over one of the castle’s shorter walls.

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

Upon climbing the wall, Prince Nicholas sat stunned, his jaw dropping once laying eyes on the source of the voice. Before him, singing by a wishing well was a gorgeous young rabbit. Her fur gray and her eyes bright and beautiful as an amethyst gemstone. Nicholas’ low hanging jaw immediately rose back up into a more than pleased smile at the sublime sight before him.

He climbed down the rest of the way, desiring nothing more but to introduce himself to the lovely rabbit. Judith meanwhile, continued on with her song. Her eyes closed, lost in song, and completely unaware of the young suitor making his way toward her.

I'm wishing,

I'm wishing

For the one I love,

To find me,

To find me

Today…

Prince Nicholas suddenly popped up beside her by the well, echoing back her last word:

Todaaaaaaay!

“Waaahh!!!” Judith screamed in shock, shooting her eyes open and whacking the bucket beside her with enough force to send it flying right SMACK at Prince Nicholas’ face!

“Aaghn!” Nicholas could swear his head was spinning over his shoulders as a goofy, clearly dazed look on his face overtook him. He lifted his finger to address an answer at all four of the bunnies he was currently seeing, “I found you--egh” The fox prince fell back down into the well. A big splash rising up after him.

“Aah! Oh no!” Judith gasped with her paws at her mouth. She quickly lowered the bucket down the well to lift the fox back up from it.

She groaned and clenched her teeth as she began to slowly pull up the now heavy bucket that was carrying the fox.

Upon lifting him up, Judith tied the rope to ensure he would not fall back in. She was glad to see he was unhurt, but he was soaked to the bone! Feeling completely and utterly embarrassed by her action, Judith frantically apologized to him, “Are you alright? I'm sorry! You surprised me and...I didn’t mean to knock you down the well!”

Despite his soaked state, the fox prince couldn’t help but smile, bearing her no Ill will, “Well, I guess that's one way a guy can fall for you,” he chuckled with a flirty smile.

Judith suddenly felt all the blood rush to her cheeks and ears, causing her to blush hard at his flattering words. Could it be her wish had indeed come true? Could it be that this fox was the valiant prince from her dream? The one who vowed his love to her and took her away from this horrible nightmare? If so...Oh...Judith groaned internally, feeling just so guilty and embarrassed that she’d made such a horrible first impression on the male that could have been the love of her life, “I’m so sorry! Please excuse me!” she choked and ran off on the verge of tears.

“W-Wait!” he called out after her, struggling to free his rear and tail from the bucket. “Come on, budge!” he pulled upward and popped right out of the bucket. All the while being cautious of not falling back into the well.

Judith meanwhile dashed toward her bedchamber, still feeling ashamed of herself.

“Wait Carrots! I-I mean Miss! Please Miss! I’m not angry or upset with you!” he raced after her desperately once freeing himself from the well.

Judith however didn’t care. She could hear his words, but she still felt far too embarrassed to stop.

“Miss please!” Nicholas watched as she ran into a nearby room with an open balcony.

In his desperation, he suddenly remembered that she had garnered his attention through her singing. His sharp mind acting quickly, he figured perhaps he could do the same. He cleared his throat and removed his hat like a true gentlemammal and began to sing what he felt in his heart for her:

Now that I’ve found you,

Hear what I have to saaay,

Judith suddenly felt her heart stop upon hearing the fox’s gentle voice call to her in song. Curious, she peeked out her balcony, still concealing herself behind the curtain. But rather than display the same look of mortification she previously had, she now bore a smile as the fox continued to serenade her from below her balcony.

One song,

I have but one song,

One song,

Only for you,

Judith saw how Nicholas twisted his cap to remove all the excess water from it. Nicholas’ eyes widened a bit in surprise at just how much water his cap had soaked in. Regardless of it all, he just shrugged, humored by it and winked at her to let her know everything was all right. Judith giggled, feeling her heart flutter at the handsome fox and his charming demeanor. Hiding back behind the curtain, she wrapped her arms around herself and sighed. Hardly being able to contain the feeling of love the fox was filling her with. She felt nothing could ruin this moment, until she looked back down to the skirt of her dress. She felt self conscious. How could he possibly find her beautiful dressed in such ugly and tattered clothes?

To Nicholas however, none of that mattered. He didn’t know why, but somehow he could feel there was more to this bunny than just her looks. He could see it in her eyes the moment he managed to stare directly into them -- that is before she accidentally knocked him down into the well -- but still!

Judith too, now looking at him well could tell that there was more to him too. He was after all trying to sweep her off her feet despite having seen her in her raggedy clothes. Fluffing up the fur of her cheeks and combing down the fur of her ears, Judith walked back out to stand at the balcony to be in Nicholas’ view.

One heart,

Tenderly beating

Ever entreating,

Constant and true,

Seeing her perched out at her balcony at last, Nicholas could feel his heart and courage swell. Her love entranced smile, giving him the courage to take a step closer up the steps leading up to her balcony.

One love,

That has possessed me,

One love,

Queen Bellwether meanwhile stood to observe the two from her window. Her heart filled with jealousy at the sight of the fox prince serenading the fairer bunny princess -- pouring his heart out to her. The sheep trembled with fury, feeling her heart fill with envy and hatred over the romantic scene, “Ugh!” she shut the curtains of her chamber window, refusing to view the scene any further.

Thrilling me through,

One song,

My heart keeps singing,

Of one love,

As he continued to serenade her, Judith took a flower hanging from a tree branch by her balcony and placed a tender kiss on it. She softly threw it down to Nicholas below her balcony.

Only for you

The flower weightlessly managed to glide its way down to Prince Nicholas’ paw, landing flat on the pad of his palm. Keeping his warm emerald gaze upon Judith, he returned the kiss on the flower, his lips soft and tender as if it had been the rabbit’s own lips he had placed a kiss upon.

He sighed happily, pressing the flower against his heart. All the while his beloved smiled lovingly back at him. Her heart so full of love and joy. Judith slowly closed the curtains of her balcony, not wanting to remove her gaze from the fox and hoping to meet with him again in the future.

#zootopia #wildehopps #snow white and the seven dwarfs #crossover #raspberries challenge #disney

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egoarc4de · 7 years

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i love steve harrington’s character development and i think it deserves more praise

yes yes, this is something everyone talks about, but trust me. it took me so long to convince my mom and the people i talked with about stranger things that steve harrington was not just some dumb douche character that saved his friends by coincidence and would fall back on his own development as soon as nancy left him for jonathan. back before s2 was really hyped up, it was difficult when you liked steve more than jonathan because everyone thought steve was the worst!! they all flocked to jonathan’s character because he was relatable and you could tell he had something with nancy and everyone was rooting for the caring older brother who was socially awkward.

i love jonathan, do not get me wrong, but he has character traits that i see in myself that come with isolation. so trust me. i’m not doing this to bash on a character, i just want to explain some of the reasons why jonathan has more depth than just sensitivity. firstly, jonathan byers is completely isolated, and this has led him to have a skewed view of everyone who isn’t as isolated as him. when you are so far removed from your typical high school life, of course you’re gonna see the faults in it- he’s so self conscious that his brain tries to put others down just to make him feel less lonely. an important scene for this is when he and nancy are fighting in the woods- he says “i thought you were different”. the implications of this are that he liked her because she wasn’t high school-y and boring teenage girl-y.

when you start to get to know someone, you can see them as more of a person and less of a conforming hive mind, which is kind of what he sees a lot of people as. especially the way he said that she wasn’t herself at the party just because he fell in love with the idea of a girl who /would/ feel uncomfortable at a party. of course it took nancy a while to get used to parties and that sort of stuff, but from what i saw, she was enjoying herself!! she was having fun but jonathan couldn’t see that because he didn’t expect her to have fun. it’s something very typical of people who don’t feel like they fit in to imagine people that they want to get close to as not feeling like they fit in. jonathan hasn’t had much character development because his character has been pretty good from the start, save for the thing i talked about, which is important but nothing something his character is based off of. a healthy dislike for large groups of meddling teens is fine.

the reason i included this part about jonathan is because i wanted to contrast steve with this. jonathan went through a lot as a kid, and it made him stronger, but lonelier. steve, on the other hand, was probably a stupid kid with a fragile ego who surrounded himself with friends just to realize that he felt even more alone with people around. rich and dumb and an asshole. the seemingly best life to live. but steve harrington’s character goes deeper than that.

he started off as someone we all kinda disliked. there wasn’t much reason for it, but he probably reminded us of some dummy we knew in real life that was “popular” and liked girls and thought he was “all that”. pushy asshole boyfriend, an understandable target for hatred. then he showed us that he cared more about his parents’ opinions than barb. then he broke jonathan’s camera- something expensive and prized at the time and difficult to replace. this was when people started to really rag on him. and then he further proved himself by letting his friends spray point rude shit about nancy and jonathan, and though he wasn’t the culprit, he let it happen and he seemed to be okay with it. he spent most of the season being annoying and rude and then flat-out like a bully.

so this is where steve shines!! he started off as a hated character and, despite amazing character development, ended up as a mostly disliked character. he gets in the way of one of the main couples, he’s an asshole, he’s a douche, he did mean shit, he paled in comparison to the other two in the “teens” trifecta. but his character development, especially among the teens, is unparalleled. first off, the duffer brothers commented on his character a bit, saying he was originally meant to be an antagonist but joe’s portrayal of him changed their minds (thank you so much joe). they also say that steve comes from a background where he was never a priority- a kid whose parents ignored him and treated him poorly. sure, sure, this isn’t an excuse, but it explains a lot about his character.

ysee, when i first watched st, i kept thinking ‘what is steve doing in that friend group with those assholes?’ because he seemed so… awkward?? like the way he talked and carried himself seemed very unlike the charismatic characters we usually know as the douchey popular kids. he just didn’t fit in. i think steve was raised by cold, unloving parents that led to him trying to be someone like them- having fun when he can by just hanging around and being a general douche to people, never opening up to anyone. and then, see, he meets nancy. this smart, nice, kinda outsider girl, and finally he has something that makes him happy. i wanted to save this for later, but the time when he calls his friends out for being jealous or something “because she’s not miserable like you”? i think a lot of people overlooked that when it really tells us about steve’s character. these are the kids he’s hung out with throughout high school. these are the kids he probably ended up hanging out with in a time where he felt his worst. these kids probably helped him in a time when he was miserable. he’s been miserable. but nancy, she brought him out of that, and i think that’s why he was so affected by seeing her with jonathan. i think he finally had someone he opened up to, or was going to open up to, found someone who made him happy, and then he saw that and realised that he had put his trust in someone who would just let him down again.

and the parents thing is shown in the conversation with nancy about barb. he was a complete douche during this exchange, but there was a reason for it. barb was missing, but she was also a level-headed teenage girl, so if someone told me someone like that was missing, i would have assumed that they were fine and just probably ran off or played hooky. like i know that’s dumb but if i had stupid parents who never paid me any mind and were probably not exactly nice to me, i think my brain would jump to that. but, still, dick move steve.

breaking jonathan’s camera. okay. heavy thing. yes, DICK MOVE, STEVE, but not without reason. done in a terrible, terrible, awful way that would make me dislike anyone, but not without reason. if i found pics like that of my girlfriend taken by the notorious “weird kid”, i’d be super angry. not angry enough to break a rare commodity, an EXPENSIVE commodity, but enough to do something. everyone hated steve after this.

the graffiti….. the dickest steve move in the series. yes, he didn’t do it, but he followed his friends around as they did it and allowed them to do it. even if the one person you began to trust breaks your heart, that’s still an absurd and awful thing to do. but it also brings one of the most important scenes. i mean, yea, steve and jonathan fought, steve ran away from punishment and left jonathan to be punished, like the awful spoiled boy he is, but the scene at the gas station where they get him like a cola or something to put on his wounds?? that’s an important scene. of course i already mentioned the most important part (the “miserable” part), but the fact that he calls them out?? the only people who seemed to have stuck by him for all these years. he’s finally had enough of being this thing he doesn’t want to be, and he yells at them and drives away (run away like you always do).

steve is a coward. steve is an asshole. steve is a douchebag. steve is a man-child. but steve also had a rough childhood. he also had difficulty opening up. he also spent a lot of his life as a miserable, dull, asshole.

he went to jonathan’s house in the middle of the night to apologise to him. he went out of his way to go to JONATHAN’S HOUSE FIRST!! he wanted to redeem himself to other people besides nancy, so don’t you dare pull the 'he did it all for her’ card. even after they told him to run, to leave, he came back. it’s so much harder to run away from danger, turn around, and run right back into it than it is to stay and fight. it takes courage. steve broke away from being a coward who always runs away (run away like you always do) to a man trying to become someone better. he’s trying his best to be someone he’s always wanted to be. it’s such a shame he gets put down as the token asshole. remember, he’s not trying to flaunt either. he probably paid for most of that camera, but nancy gave it to jonathan and said it was only from her anyways. he doesn’t care that he doesn’t know it was from him as well, because that’s not the important thing. he wants to redeem himself TO HIMSELF. he wants to be a better person because it’s making him happier, and i feel like dating nancy was a bit of a gateway to that, but not as like a… not like he tried to better himself for her, but more like she showed him that he /can/ become better.

i love steve harrington and in the new previews he’s hanging out with the kids and everyone is like “he was a good guy after all!!” but i am here as his #1 fan to show you guys that it has, in fact, been like that for a minute.

#stranger things #st #steve harrington #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #ghar speaks #sts2 #stranger things season 2 #i love the friend group of the teens sm #like jonathan? nancy? steve???? what a good squad #i wish they'd be more of a squad #i hope someone takes the time to read all of this #i know it's long and arduous

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mewtwo24 · 7 years

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(1/2) I might sound a bit dramatic but I just wanted to say thank you. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I love the way you talk about V in the vxmc Headcanons, you described his character so so well that I really think these headcanons actually happened in the game, I've been feeling down because some people started to hate V for what happened to saeren and they even compared his actions to rika's actions! to a fuckin criminal!! and don't let me start about people overshadowing him in his own route ;;

(2/2) I started to avoid MM tags because of this.. Idk but now I really REALLY feel good after reading what you said about him ;; and now I’m playing his route for the third time and I can’t stop thinking about your headcanons whenever I chat with V hahaha ;; I’m thankful that you shared your V stuff with us. (sorry english isn’t my first language and I’m not that good in it so I can’t write nor describe what I really feel ;;)

Awwww!! Not at all, you’re welcome I’m so glad you enjoyed them!! Honestly I appreciate you taking the time to reach out and everybody’s kindness in regards to my post, in that I was worried the V haters were going to come out of the woodwork and start screaming about what I’d written considering all the recent discourse. I was a little nervous about posting them, but I’m happy I did. And no worries, your command of the English language is wonderful, no need to apologize! It may surprise you but I wrote those headcanons as a way to cheer myself up in response to all the recent V bashing going on in the fandom, so words can’t express how great it feels to be able to bring somebody else the same comfort writing these did for me.

What I’ve written below in response is entirely my opinion, so you are all free to disagree with any of this as you like. These are just my undistilled thoughts as of late about V’s route and the recent uproar in the MM fandom. I’m sure there will be people who are outraged/disagree, but that’s fine. You’re all entitled to how you feel.Also V route spoilers

As for the fandom, I’m not going to lie to you. I have been incandescently angry with the sheer volume of Jihyun hatred in this fandom, so much so that I left the MM tags entire days after most people finished Another Story. I still hate going there, though things are a little better now. I was furious, and I am still furious. Because I think he truly is a tragic character; considering the circumstances in his life. I think he honestly was doing his best with what he had. People act like he is this irredeemable, terrible person because he kept these secrets and made a few mistakes in terms of how he handled Rika, and I think that’s so callous and unfair. All I saw was a broken man that hated himself for being a burden to all the people in his life he ever tried to love; he was never enough for his father, his mother died to protect him, and his love was never enough to help Rika. He was hellbent on doing everything alone, because he truly felt he was not worth helping after how much damage he involuntarily caused by “making” Rika behave that way. He was suicidally depressed, hesitant and hurt and hiding so that nobody could see just how wounded and tired he was.

I’ll be clear, I know I’m biased. But I still think the sheer criticism and the nature of everybody’s accusations are absurd for the most part. V is a victim, no matter how you try to convey things. Again, I don’t believe he’s perfect; he was selfish and stubborn and misguided. But guess what? The whole god damn point of this route is that when MC helps put these things into perspective for him and teaches him that it’s okay to royally screw up as long as he does his best to fix it from there and learn from it, he acknowledges what he’s done. He tries so hard to fight the voice inside him that hates him so much–on top of Rika’s screaming and the hallucinogenic/distorting properties of the drug–to realize and own the fact that yes, he did do wrong. He should have relied more on the RFA and been honest with them and been honest with Rika a long time ago. But now he has the chance to make amends and start anew away from Rika and his father’s toxic influence. That cannot remotely be compared to what Rika has done. She, of her own volition, chose to embrace the terrible elements of her nature. She refuses to seek help and blames everybody else for her lack of control, and that to me is not equivalent. They are foils in a sense; V was mentally ill but he made the conscious choice to acknowledge his problems as his own and work through them until he could get to a healthier state of mind (he made his problems about him), Rika was mentally ill but she forced all of her pent up rage and insecurity on V and blamed him for her lack of control and desire to hurt people (Rika blames everybody else and refuses to take any responsibility for the damage she causes). He accepts and grows from his shortcomings, Rika refuses to acknowledge her problems and thus they conflagrate out of control in the presence of V’s lenience. It’s not bad enough that we see droves of incidents of Rika’s victim-blaming throughout this entire route, even the fandom calls him weak and spineless and stupid for trying to help her resolve these things gently; as was in his nature and genuine aspiration of loving somebody unconditionally. Was it ill-advised to tell her that he would love her no matter what she did to him? Yes, of course. But that doesn’t remotely excuse Rika for taking advantage of his desire to help her and legitimately attacking him over and over again, nearly killing him by the end of the route. I don’t care who it is; if somebody asks you to harm them out of love that is a clear sign of self-harm, and that they are in need of help. That is not an excuse to let out your frustrations upon them in any way, shape, or form. I hate that this has become a matter of V “didn’t try hard enough” or make the right decision the first time around (wow it’s almost like he made a mistake like a lot of people do when they’re mentally compromised) when it was in large part Rika that made this entire situation spiral out of control; leaving V to desperately try to salvage what little of his life she hadn’t destroyed and protect the people she was dead-set on dragging into her psychosis.

In regards to Ray, I will put this delicately since people tend to get very angry about what happened to him. I don’t hate Ray, but I’m unbelievably tired of the disproportionate attention he gets because of his affectionate nature and tragic story. Yes, he’s a tragic boy. Yes, he didn’t deserve what happened to him. But. His relationship with the MC is a bit of a foil to V and Rika’s; his love is about obsession, not true romantic desire. He loves you because nobody else bothers to care about him, and while that breaks my heart I don’t know how to feel about a relationship built on that. What I loved the most about V’s route is that it was at it’s core about guiding V to self-love and helping him heal, I was glad there was no forced relationship; that he doesn’t approach you until after a two-year journey of self-discovery despite how clear it is that he adores you. Because that’s not what V needed after being used and attacked by Rika, and it’s most certainly not what Ray needs after all of his traumatic experiences. Furthermore, I’m really angry about how many people accuse V of not caring enough about Ray to save him, because I think that is 100% untrue. This entire route and situation was not as easy as “let’s just kidnap Ray and everything will be tied up with a neat little bow :))))”. First and foremost, Ray was in no state of mind to leave Mint Eye. I know he was brainwashed, but Ray is exceedingly more clever and stubborn than his Unknown persona; the likelihood that they could get him to leave in any kind of peaceful way is freaking infinitesimal. Ray hated V with a passion because of Rika; there was no way he would have listened or followed any of V’s attempts to get him out of there. I’d be willing to bet that he’d tried, and that it just made Ray angrier and even more hostile than before. Ray would probably kill himself or hide before he’d be taken away; he has no desire to adjust to the outside world and ascribes to Rika’s will without wavering. Second, if V had told Seven the truth then the danger would have escalated unimaginably. Because Seven throws out all reason when it comes to his brother (understandably), meaning that he could have gotten them all killed in a desperate bid to force Saeran out of there. Not to mention Vanderwood potentially finding out about their relation and either killing Saeran himself or using his brother as leverage to force Seven to work harder. I don’t think any of the potential scenarios would have ended well, considering the structure of the route and the possibilities. Third, there are distinct moments in which V expresses a wealth of sadness and concern for Ray’s condition. I don’t think it’s that he doesn’t care; I think he was in a position in which there was only so much he could do, so he chose the decision that would end in the fewest casualties and harm done to innocents. Just because Ray fell, doesn’t mean V will ever forget what happened, or feel no guilt. I absolutely hate the notion that he didn’t try hard enough when it was Rika that took Saeran behind V’s back and did all those terrible things to him. She took away Saeran’s ability to think and fight for himself and live a normal life. V did the best he could with the circumstances and resources available to him; just because you liked Ray doesn’t make V immediately responsible or a bad person for not being able to save him. Those two things do not go hand-in-hand, at least for me. Am I upset that Ray had to be the casualty? Unbelievably so; I hate that he had to suffer for the sake of Rika and V’s twisted love. But to blame a man that was heavily drugged, stabbed, and pressured into silence because the safety of his loved ones now hung in the balance? That sounds way too black and white to me, I just don’t think it was that simple.

Sorry this kind of became a rant? Your ask kind of opened the floodgates for me, lol. I’ve honestly had so much pent up sadness and anger regarding how much people hate him and vilify him in this fandom, and I’m just so tired of it all. I wish people would acknowledge how hard he’s trying to do the right thing; how with these small steps and MC’s support he grows and learns to love himself and blooms beautifully despite everything. Or even that a person who may not be perfect or completely healthy from the outset but actively tries to better himself and be better for others the proper way can still deserve to be happy and loved. (And yes you can argue that it was at the expense of others but nearly everybody’s happiness in MM is at the expense of another character’s, there is no way to save everyone. There’s no panacea. You have to choose one, and in V’s route, the goal is to choose V.)

#mm ask #v mystic messenger #jihyun kim #v route #mystic messenger #i am very tired #and im sick of the hate #but yall can feel free to ignore my whining #v route spoilers

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mikazukikannagisjourney · 5 years

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Know THYSELF: The Importance of Knowing who You are, and why this Matters

Subtitle: This super-long post also has some tips somewhere in the end =)

Hi everyone, I hope you are all doing well.

I was gonna post a spiritual log but I got guided to write this, after I reviewed my own stuff aka my natal birth chart, my human design and the gene keys I was born with. To be honest, knowing the self is probably, and in my opinion the best gift you can give your self, as well as others. Because truth be told, some of the most miffing people out there, (based on my experiences) are those who don’t know what they want, if they actually want want they want, or have no idea how to deal with personal issues and stuff because they don’t actually take time to get to know themselves. Inversely, some people are also annoying because they don’t know how to interact with other people, and are too caught-up im in their own worlds to even care or think that they may have hurt other people by being too-self-absorbed. Spoiler alert: I WAS and probably am still on this entire spectrum so I am not saying that I have transcended this whole dilemma and I am better than anyone else. Lol that would be a dream tho, not.

*If you click the links you can get your own charts generated, just add your birth date, exact birth time, and more or less exact birth location, if you wanna learn more stuff down the rabbit hole*

OK, now that the intro-ish stuff has been brought down with, I shall formally start this very long-ish post by writing stuff about why it is important to know your self.

Partial Self-awareness: The myth that you already know everything you know about yourself right now, but some part of you says otherwise.

Well, that sucks right? I mean, no matter how much you say you know what you want or you are completely sure about something major about your self, there is at least a 10% chance that you may have missed a spot. And this normally won’t make itself known until you start forming relationships outside of your own zone: friends, workmates or schoolmates, lovers, mentor-student relationships, even having pets or kids. Normally when we are by ourselves, at the very least we feel a bit more confidence, strength, even some self-love. Because we see ourselves through our own lenses, albeit tinted at times. However, once we start seeing ourselves through the eyes of other people, as well as getting stimuli that are often beyond our realm of control, we often get surprised, and we start acting out of character. And by that I mean out of the character that we thought we knew, in a negative way. Left unchecked, unassessed, or even ignored, this anger or frustration goes on to become triggering mechanisms that would eventually sap us of our good vibes, our zest for life, or even wanting to go out and get some sun, or moon, or stars. In really worst cases, not knowing the self fully can cause self-sabotage in the form of self-doubt, insecurities, jealousy, having zero initiatives, you know, stuff that can make or break relationships. And if you already invested a lot of emotional, financial, and whatever attachment to these things, losing them can really hurt like hell, which leads to more self-sabotaging behaviors, more ruined stuff, and so on. Like a gut-wreching death spiral that only sees death as an end goal.

But don’t worry, it’s not all doom and gloom, for if you know yourself fully, and chose to heal or change what needs to be changed: attitudes, beliefs, mindsets, perspectives, the stuff that relies on your own perceptions, then at least half of the issues become readily solved.

How?

By learning how to recognize patterns of behaviors and responses that were causing the self-sabotage in the first place, and doing stuff to change them so that instead of feeling down and worthless, you instead regain your self-composure, your balance, and most importantly, you become EMPOWERED. YOu grow to become a better version of yourself. See? I told you the importance of this cannot be stressed even more lol.

But seriously... You might start asking “How come I didn’t even know these?”

Well, actually, your conscious monkey brain doesn’t, but your deeper than an iceberg subconscious sure knows. Not that it’s smarter than your conscious or anything. It’s just more powerful though, because it has more storage capacity and won’t budge no matter how many times you do your affirmations or what. Not that I bash affirmations, goodness no, They’re very helpful with proper usage. But the subconscious mind is a lot thicker than your skull, and more often than not everything it has learned won’t just simply go away no matter how much motivational speeches or conscious affirmations you do. Well, for me and a whole bunch of people who bashed the Law of Attraction when we first tried it. Around 90-95% of the trial users lolol I am trying to make the mood happy here ok? Also don’t be angry at your subconscious mind, it’s the reason why you can sing sappy songs while riding a bike or driving your car. It’s also the reason why you could just start making pancakes without needing a book, assuming you have been cooking it all your life. It has some cool skills too, you know. But when it comes to chasing our dreams and our happiness, despite our best and intentioned efforts, the subconscious mind can either help us tremendously or be our biggest hater, basher, and even barrier and blockage.

This is because the subconscious mind has greater capacity, as well as a deeper connection to your outer world. It sucks to know and hear this but yes. After doing subliminals for 2 years and just now getting the hang of it and getting some harsh unwanted results due to my own unresolved issues,yes, this is a very painful truth. And this is where the idea of gaining power by knowing yourself comes to play.

Why?

So you can heal your own wounds. Resolve your own personal issues. Become closer and more connected with other people, in deeper ways. And most importantly, be a better person than ever before. All with the help of your subconscious mind.

*Quick reminder, the subconscious mind can be likened to a recorder. By itself it does only one thing: PLay recorded stuff. Unless you push “Record” in order to change a track in the tape (or memory card yeah I work with both types lolol), it can’t change the stuff that were already written on it, and it will only play whatever tracks are already recorded in it. Forever. Click here to learn more about this dual-sided nature of the subconscious mind and how such changes can affect our genetics, through DNA methylation. Trust me, we learned this stuff back in college and is only appearing out now.*

Yay, the first part of this post is already done! NOw let’s move on to the next two. I shall base my stuff on HUman Design because aside from it working for me, I haven’t seen anything like it that helped me learn even more about myself, amybe a lot deeper than getting natal birth charts. Not an expert but you can check the materials here. It’s one big rabbit hole if you wanna read more into it. You’ll need your human design chart though.

There are two ways of learning who we truly are: learn directly or indirectly.

1. Learning who the self is, directly.

*If you already got your human design chart, please check if you’re a Generator: Pure Generator or a Manifesting Generator (has the 20-34 channel connected, throat to sacral center aka the red square in the belly part of your diagram) because this is for you. All other types are in #2, but since this is for you to learn who you are, or who you are not, you can read this part too*

Well, that should be easy, right? Well, yeah, easy on paper, but not gonna lie it’s quite challenging to do in real life. BEcause learning how to do it involves a lot of taking risks, gaining new experiences, meeting new people, going to new places, and all that enrichment stuff. BAsically going out of your comfort zone. I’m not saying you should abandon all your core values here. But if you’re only not wanting to do something because you’re scared (i.e. you are uninitiated with meeting new people through dating apps) and not because you’re going against your personal values (i.e. being forced by a bunch of friends to go on a date with someone that harassed you when you already stood your ground and asserted yourself to this person), well the former is a component of your comfort zone and should be expanded, by all means.

Basically, just be open to new and expansion-making experiences. Doesn’t need to be grand. You can start with going back to old hobbies, adding new skillsets to those you already have, read books that you normally wouldn’t read, stuff like that. Or expand your current knowledge on what you already know.

You can also start from scratch, learn something new, or try out something that scares the heck out of you, like learning trigonometry or advanced calculus, or learning the mechanisms of cell-signalling cascades lolol not kidding there though. Meet new people in classes, events, or just try participating in online forums as a noob. Watch a movie that you didn’t wanna watch and never did because of all the bad reviews, but this time with an open mind and heart.

Or do someting cathartic, like CLEANING. Clean your house, clean your inboxes, clean your friends list, your phone contacts, and don’t forget to clean your mind of the subconscious garbage, because seriously that’s a lot more hard work than unfriending a bunch of people lolol but I am serious here. People uinderestimate the energizing effects of cleaning, because it literally removes energetic cords, it clears the energetic field (yours) and I have to tell you that as a person who just moved into a new place, seriously cleaning is both an annoying and a rewarding experience. It can help you assess your values in life, what matters most to you, and what makes you happy. Even before Marie Kondo started her stuff, I was already doing this since college. That was almost a lifetime ago. Dang I feel old, and fabulous lol.

But then you might ask, “WHy am I doing this, exactly?”

So you can learn what you like and don’t like. What gives you joy and what doesn’t. What makes you happy and what makes you feel effed up. Not that it gives a more solid self-identity, but rather it allows you to be fluid, and gives you a chance to be on both sides of the fence. So that you can give better opinions and suggestions. But at the same time also empathetic to the ideas of people on the other side of the fence. You can even be a better friend or lover or companion who can spread your joy and love, especially since Generators have the type of aura that is welcoming and energizing to others (my Projector friend told me so, she feels great after we had our gabfest and after I give her card readings. lolol shameless self-promo). Comprising roughly 70% something of the world’s population, if all of the generators consistently do their best in knowing who they truly are, miracles can happen, and there would be less annoyance and frustration, and more satisfaction in our daily lives. In turn, we get to channel more high vibrational energies to everyone else on the planet. As a Generator like you (I’m actually a Manifesting Generator, still same more or less), this is our gift: to share others our enduring strength by energizing ourselves as well as the people around us. Which is why seriously, now is the best time to be open on both sides because in the midst of all the current (and probably will only escalate more) chaos, you only need your inner guide, your personal compass, and knowing that you are confident with your choices because YOU had the actual experience only makes you even more powerful, because you can truly speak from the heart. Not everyone can do that, because the other people who are scared to take this leap just stay on one side for their entire lives. You’re born to be better and stronger than that, so just do it. (Or not, just trust your gut. We are gut peeps lolol no really, that’s part of our design) Also, based on your design (a defined aka solid sacral center, the square under the diamond shape) you have more than the usual capacity to endure, and to allow things to happen for you based on your gut instincts. Even when the going gets tough.

Additional important note: As Generators (the workforce of the world lol but yeah really), because our sacral centers are defined aka solid (especially when combined with a defined solar plexus center aka a yellow triangle at the right side of the square) this means that we innately have a strong sense of self: who we are and what we want, or don’t want. Or we don’t easily get influenced, even if we were conditioned to be. Thus, our power lies in knowing who we are, and knowing who we are gives us consistency, reliability, and ultimately satisfaction in our choices and decisions. That is how we generate our power, by following our gut feelings and following through till we complete our task or goal. After finishing it beautifully as expected (of us lol), it gives us a wonderful sense of completion, and it makes us feel great about ourselves. We trust ourselves better. And this is a form of self-mastery that can really give you peace. However, self-doubt, not following through, or not asserting ourselves takes away our precious power, which leaves us drained, exhausted, burnt-out, angry and frustrated, well, basically stuff that leads to depression and not to mention a really weak physique, and we really need to have a strong body for all of our motor centers aka the stuff that helps make things happen) to be at tip-top shape. This whole shite happened to me way back because I just kept myself getting trampled even though I was already unhappy with my work and how I was being treated, all for the sake of getting some cash. I basically gave my power and self-worth away, and I ended up with a really horrible (now a somewhat chronic) back pain (I am currently having this condition as I type this now. It popped up due to my need to release anger, see previous Thought log lol) and even deeper depression. While it may take us a bit shorter time to recover compared to other types, it still sucks that we have to stay in recovery, and in a whole lot of pain. So preventing burnout by doing what we love (that’s where we get even more energies to do a whole truckload of work) and attaining a strong sense of self-satisfaction and self-love is really what we need to push ourselves towards self-improvement and to attain a more fulfilling and magical life.

Basically, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. That’s exactly my point.

2. Learning who the self is, indirectly

*Check your chart if you’re a Manifestor, a Projector, or a Reflector, this is for you. Sorry if the stuff won’t be as rich as the previous one since I have more experiences as a Generator, Also I based these on some Projectors I know lol haven’t met an actual Manifestor or Reflector they’re like around 9% and 1% of the population respectively, so if you’re either, please don’t hesitate to say HI. But if you’re a Generator, especially a Manifesting Generator, feel free to read lol*

So if you happen to read the entire segment on Generators, and you’re not one, I’ll give you a pat on the back (or hugs if you want), that was a lot of stuff to read. And it isn’t even for you. But ironically, if you happened to read it, then you just did some learning about yourself INDIRECTLY. TA-DAH!

But I am not making a bamboozle here. What I said was something that many people actually base or formulate their own opinions with. By interacting with others, they learn more about themselves by hearing many perspectives, churning them into their own brand of butter, and eventually formulating something out of it. Unless you’re a Manifestor, you just say the word and people make your butter lolol yeah really.

But seriously, for people with this method of learning about the self based on outside sources is even better and more effective than trying to figure out things on their own. Having the opinion or experiences of others (most-likely a Generator because there’s more of us lolol the power of Statistics) is a better option in learning (i.e. you watch what experts do instead of doing all of the available options out there by yourself) than trying out what works because having to do stuff through a process of trial and error can actually put an energetic strain on these three types. While Generators can do all of that trial and error thingy because of their scarily solid willpower and their strong energy centers aka the sacral center, because this is not defined aka clear and white as a ghost for Manifestors, Projectors and Reflector types, it means that whatever energies you already had will be readily depleted, and recovery can take a long time, even when you feel like you exerted only a little effort. Trust me when I say that what you did was more than enough if you felt like you just wanna lay down and sleep for the entire day, or week.

If you’re wondering how I had in idea on why this is so, well...

I don’t know about the other two types since I don’t personally know of any Manifestor or Reflector, but I guess having a Projector younger brother who gets exhausted playing games if he tries to figure stuff on his own and a Projector friend who gets easily drained after getting duped by other people to become a sounding board and later regrets it before ending up in a daze really helps me better understand open sacral center types a bit better. I just compare them to myself in similar situations, and assessing what happens to them after I give them a piece of my mind or whatever. For my brother, aside from watching video tutorials or reading GameFaqs (lol) based on whether I watched him play or not, just chatting with him while he slays demons, monsters, or whatever he’s playing at the moment sorta extends his play time by about 30mins at least compared to when I don’t appear around him to watch. He’s probably unaware though lolol BUt my Projector friend who is also one of my Soul Sisters and is quite familiar with Human Design (because I pushed her to get an overiew aka me explaining her chart to her and she actually realizing how legit the whole thing is lolol Manifesting Generator issues hahaha) actually tells me that each time we chat on the phone, she gets readily-grounded and energized, as well as having a better sense of herself after the call. I won’t exactly know if it’s because of me being a Generator who naturally does it, or because she gets free extended readings (lolol again, shameless self-promo here), or just the combination of getting her questions answered as well as getting her energetic fix. She just tells me that she feels depleted at the beginning of the call, after geting caught up and too-anxious on thinking what to do, why things happen, basically the mind starts running so fast But then she gets super-excited and revived during and before ending the call, because she receives clarity on what she needs to do, even if it makes no sense to me logically. And I weirdly after that can still go on and gab some more, I sometimes even do chores after that.

So what is the point of this segment about Projectors?

Well, it has two points:

Sometimes it is easier to walk the pavement than make it. Unless you’re a Manifestor who initiates things. But (then again, this just means that they’ll make the layout, the others will just do the manual labor) they can only do so much with their own power, and it would be a bit helpful for them to ask aid from other people like filling in the other “back-end” stuff that needs to be done aka follow through with the details. Being humble and telling people what you plan to do, how it can be done, and putting trust on other people that they will do it the best way they can with their power (because probably they’re Generators lol), can revitalize your energy and creative ideas. Same for Projectors, it is better to just create a plan, and assuming that people were already on board with your plan (because your abilities got recognized, your ideas didn’t get rejected and you felt great) to manage people who can do it through delegation and division of labor (they’re probably Generators because again, statistics lolol honestly I wanna be a Manifestor but nope), and just rest. Sorry, I can’t say much about Reflectors though, but I believe that they need a long time to ruminate things and decide, or else they’ll end up being disappointed with their choices and feeling even more disempowered.

Learning about other people’s opinions, knowledge and experiences can be rewarding because you not only learn about your own needs in a deeper sense through sifting and distilling of the information carefully, but also by having an idea on what makes the people around you tick. This can help you become really good at catching on their current states, which can improve your communication and rapport with them. It also makes them more receptive of you, especially if you’re a Manifestor because let’s face it, you can be quite intimidating and seem angry all the time (or so they say). It also saves the Projector a lot of disappointment due to rejection because they gain a better sense of not pushing their output into the faces of the people and instead waiting for the right chance aka getting recognized and invited by others to share their stuff. Trust me, a lot of people just wanna share their own unsolicited opinions and advices and while some can take the heat when rejected, others just cannot and it is hard for them to let go, to the point that they think it is a personal attack. Hint: it’s not.

In Conclusion: There is no right or wrong way to know more about your true self.

Any method can actually work for any type, just as long as you don’t feel threatened, compromised, or be under so much stress. Just remember to work with what you’re designed with: Generators can do the trial-and-error thingy, and Manifestors, Projectors and Reflectors can go for other people for their input and other kinds of information sharing so that a consensus can be reached aka you'll get to know better if something is for you or not based on whether you like it or not. Also, you don’t have to rush things (ahem, GENERATORS, AHEM), sometimes going with the flow is just as important as paddling, sometimes it’s even better and gives more magical results.

I hope this super long-post helped you in any way. I did whatever I can within my knowledge and intuition so that this post can be made. If even just one person helps this make their lives better, then this is all worth it.

Thank you very much for reading. Any comment, suggestions, even just a short reply are most welcome. If it helped you in any way, I would love to hear about it.

Be well always, and may you find the healing you seek.

With love and hugs from Source above,

三日月 🌙

Mikazuki

PS. If you found the information in this post to be very helpful, insightful, and of great value to you and your own personal journey, please feel free to reblog, share and heart/like, or if you feel super-generous, energetic exchanges are welcomed! Please click here and use this email address: [email protected]

Thank you so much and be blessed!

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