First and last line tag!

Tagged by @wintherlywords , thank you! Doing this for Interrobang (e1)

White gives way to a hazy sun, drawn as if we’re still in the dream.

The Eliam goes back to drawing, cut to black.

Tagging @gwens-fiction @sentfromwolves @night9uake @new-royston-cursebreakers and anyone else who wants to try :)

A Fanfic Writer Interview

Thanks for the tag, @runicmagitek. <3 Sorry I'm slow at responding to this one, it's been A WEEK (a month, a year, two years, etc.)

This got long, so it's under the cut.

Name: You can call me ali!

Fandoms: Forever interests that operate like run-on-startup background processes in my mind: Mass Effect, Dragon Age, FFXV, Sailor Moon, Kushiel's Legacy, Legend of Korra, Transistor, the Wheel of Time (though tbqh I mostly love the worldbuilding from WoT and applying it to my own nefarious queer purposes). Current full speed ahead hyperfixations: Hades, The Locked Tomb series, Mass Effect gets a double mention because ME:LE violated the fandom's DNR order, and original work (does it count as fandoms if I am the creator in one case and co-creator in another case? I'm going to be kind to myself and say yes).

Two-shot: A one-shot with two chapters, says Google? I don't have any. I DO frequently write things with the intention of it being one and done and then continue them.

Most popular multichapter: Artificial for sure, a.k.a. that one cyberpunk AU no one asked for that will probably only ever get finished if it's re-tooled for original work, but who knows.

Actual worst part of writing: FINISHING. I have a million ideas and almost as many started Google docs or Word docs, but having the focus and commitment to finish is an actual struggle. I have the utmost respect for people with multiple longfics marked as complete.

How you choose your titles: If I manage to write a line I love that fits thematically with the story, that. Sometimes I'll come up with a title reflecting the story that isn't a direct quote. In all other cases... so many song lyrics. So, so many.

Do you outline: Yes! As a reformed pantser... who knew having a game plan of where your story is supposed to go helps? My outlines typically don't look like the structured, roman numeral style formal English jams, but rather me writing in a document as if I am screaming enthusiastically to a friend about what will happen in the story and where it's going. My worldbuilding outlines are more structured simply because I want to be able to find and reference information easier.

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?:

The transmasc Kaidan Alenko/Shepard canon-adjacent thing I have sitting in my drafts

A Hades Megaera/Aphrodite E rated one shot involving a bratty Aphrodite, Meg having a lot of emotions despite herself, ambrosia consumption as a sex-pollen adjacent thing, inappropriate use of whip handles, and so, so many orgasms.

Transistor!AU, but make it Megthanzag. You get to guess who is the traumatic weapon.

A Gen FFXIV fic with a conversation between the WoL (my WoL, even though I know how fandom feels about OCs) and Emet-Selch about the burdens of carrying a world, a people, a cosmic fate on your shoulders.

An Amos-centric fic for the Expanse exploring one of the significant relationships later in his life (book Amos, not show Amos)

Callouts @ me: You can write fic all you want, but you are not allowed to post ANY multi-chapter thing until it's done. Also, a reminder fic is for fun, damn it. Relax.

Best writing traits: I have been told I am a deft hand at characterization and action scenes. I like to think my prose is improving and that I have a style I can fit into multiple genres. And of course, I feel like I'm known for obsessive worldbuilding at this point, which I am glad people enjoy as much as I do.

Spicy tangential opinion: I will borrow several bullet points from Runic first because they have some great ones that align with my views (which shouldn't be considered spicy, and yet!):

"Unless the author explicitly asks for feedback, no one gives a shit about your ~profound critique~ on a fic you actually didn't enjoy at 3am on a Sunday" - x1000. I have betas and critique partners when I want critical feedback; I do not need or want it from strangers on the internet (with the exception of not minding typo corrections or other minor stuff).

"If at any point you feel the need to be hostile towards another human being online over Fandom Things? Just turn your computer off, walk outside, and find a new hobby." - I get we are all a passionate bunch in fannish communities, but fictional characters are not worth hurting real people's feelings over, full stop.

"You don't magically abandon all the things you love when you turn 23 or whatever people think is old these days. Honestly? The best fics I've read are from "older" people, probably because they have more experience with both writing and life."

"If I take the time to put up tags and warnings on my fic, it's not my fault if someone stumbles on it and doesn't like it." - with an addendum that operating on 'don't like, don't read' and 'your kink is not my kink and that's okay' will save you so much heartache in the long run.

You get out of fandom what you put into it. If you spend most of your time obsessing over your kudos/hits/notes/engagements, tearing down other creators, and ranting/venting about what you don't like instead of supporting what you do like... you're gonna have a bad time.

I'm a multi-shipper at heart for every fandom because exploring a variety of character dynamics excites me. In addition to wishing fandom would sometimes take the shipping goggles off, I wish some monoshippers wouldn't take the existence of every other ship besides their OTP as a personal threat to both their personhood and fandom experience.

Not gonna tag anyone but if you made it this far, write fic, and want to answer, please do so and consider me tagging you!

20 questions, writer’s edition:

I was tagged by my favorite child @flythesail ! ;) Thank you!! ❤️

How many works do you have on AO3?

39 stories. That’s...a lot. Especially as I used to have around 20 other fics on ffnet that I never crossposted. Maybe I need to sleep more.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

528,088 words.I KNOW. I’m talkative, okay??? It’s crazy to think about the fact that almost a half of this word count is my kevison fic tho. 👀 👀

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

SO MANY FANDOMS

The 100 / Bellarke

The Hunger Games / Everlark

Star Wars / Rebelcaptain + Han/Leia

Marvel / Clintasha

Still Star-Crossed / Rosvolio

Arrow / Olicity

Marvel’s Runaways / Gertchase

Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries / Phryne x Jack

Shades of magic / Kell x Lila

Six of Crows / Kanej

This is us / Kevison

NCIS:LA / Densi (so many moons ago, all deleted)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Friends (I’ve watched us as we changed) / Bellarke modern-AU / The 100

it’s not easy for me to belong here (I’m learning) / Kanej / SoC

Girl, ya can’t conceal it / Bellarke

no remedy for love (but to love more) / Rosvolio / Still Star-Crossed

Things just don’t grow (if you don’t bless them with your patience) / Bellarke

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! Feedback from readers is so important, so I do my best to reply to all meaningful, encouraging feedback. It shows both my appreciation, but also starts nice, interesting conversations sometimes. :)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I think that would definitely be a Bellarke fic, I have been known to be mean in that fandom... 😛 I’d say, if we go with angstiest ending, I’ll have to pick I came here to get some peace. I have another story that’s far angstier as a whole, but the ending was more hopeful.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Mmh, I think I’ll go with Rosvolio on that one, and the series starting with no remedy for love and ending with for love is such a daily good thing. The sequel, epilogue of sorts, was almost as long as the original fic itself, and it was all about giving these two the agency they deserve in their finding each other and growing into love.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I did once, but never completed the fic. It was a Dark Matter/The 100 crossover. Though was it really one? I don’t think so. I used the main characters from the 100 in the context of Dark Matter? Anyway. As evidenced by the fact that I never did finish the thing past the first chapter - no, I don’t write crossovers.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Are there really writers who don’t? Bless your hearts. I’ve been active in writing for various fandoms since 2011 and I’ve had the usual cocktail of anon hate, death threats, insults, etc.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yep. Sex is a conversation, and writing dialogue is one of my favorite things, and they’re basically the same. Sex is a form of communication like any other - be it awkward, passionate, peaceful and quiet, a routine, a habit, a bad habit you can’t kick, sorta meh, or bad. So I guess I write all kinds of smut? Smut with feels is obviously a favorite, but it’s nice to write smut that is just about two people who can’t be apart from each other, passionate and hungry for one another.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup - and not subtly at all. But at the time ffnet did nothing about it, and neither did the fandom. Even though people knew that this person had stolen my story and only changed the characters’ names to fit another ship, people still read it and commented it. Insert #lesigh.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I was asked, once, but I said no. This just feels weird to me.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. My head and my writing process are messy enough as they are, they don’t need the intrusion.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

It’s like asking someone to pick a favorite child. Which everyone could do, really, we all know it. Still, it’s not proper to ask. But I’ll go with my childhood and ultimate otp, Piper and Leo from Charmed. They taught me what love was.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Mmmh, I don’t think I have one atm? I gave up on some wips back when I was writing for The 100, but I know I’ll never pick them up. My only current wip is for Kevison, and I do intend to see this through.

What are your writing strengths?

Clearly my style? I’ve been told it’s kinda poetic, and I do like my prose and my flow - a stream of consciousness, a line that’ll go straight to your heart, long sentences of uninterrupted thoughts, a window into the character’s soul. I also have a very good grasp on the characters I choose to write about - I only write when I feel like I know them like the back of my hand, so characterization and being true to who they are is my number one priority.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I have no discipline. I’ll write for days on end, get one, two, three chapters ready...and sometimes a month passes by and I have nothing, my brain is completely empty, and I feel all squeezed out. I could never wait until I’ve completed a work before posting it, for instance - and I mean, I’ve been working on my Kevison fic for 17 months now, so, in a way, lucky thing I didn’t wait, right?

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If it fits the character and the context, why not.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter! It was a lifetime ago, I was 12 and I wrote what I expected the fifth book to be before it came out. Needless to say, it was bad.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Once again, asking someone to pick a favorite child isn’t proper. I have a sort of very unique love for something always brings me back to you, one of my rebelcaptain fics. First of all, it’s the only work who’s ever gotten a fan edit made about (thanks again to the lovely person who did!). I also think the writing is solid, the dialogue and the chemistry between Jyn and Cassian on point. And I loved working on that AU of their first meeting(s) through the galaxy.

Tagging: @queenofchildren , @lullabiesandgoodbyes , @alienor-woods and whoever else wants to do it!

You once said that a step towards recovery means I’ll need to break myself into pieces, darling I’ve been trying to put my heart back together. I like to step on myself sometimes, I don’t take compliments well because I don’t think too highly of myself. When you step on the same lego piece everyday even your ego starts to melt a little. You once said that if I find someone to hold my thoughts before I hold their heart– then maybe she’s the one. Or maybe there’s no one out there, who knows, right? We can circle around this a little longer than always, but I’ll always run back to the why. Why do I want to conquer my memories? Each city that I’ve built for them inside of my head is still bright and I’ve not let a single light bulb blow out, I’m so out of it– while thoughtlessly I’ve been reaching out of my head, my heart likes to beat me to it. It says that love can only be achieved if I chase after it. You once said that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Do you still believe in those words? Because if I’m not cruel to myself, I could be cruel to someone else. If I read enough books, do you think I’d finally own a chapter in my own life? If I open up some more, will I close off opportunities for myself to the prospect of loving myself? And what about them? Vanity is my master and I’m a slave. It’s okay to be a little vain sometimes, right? I’ve got it in my veins, maybe I’m the only honest one. You once said that if I trip over the same rock and stub my toe a million times within a week, you’d still say it’s okay. Like falling requires gravity to bend to my whispers. Like drowning demands my lies to swim back to shore. Like dying seeps through my eyes, how can I love if all I’ve got is missing pieces? You once said that a river flows like time and if I’m out of seconds– you’ll just record your voice saying I love you until I finally get it. I remember everything that love has to offer, but never the person. I remember the feeling of infection that is affection. And if I walk alone and get hit by a car, maybe it’s just another story that I won’t write. Some words live in between the lines, I’ve been seeing dualities. Life and death is just a kiss and hug. Black and white, storms and clouds are just pears and apples. Poetry and prose likes to sound sweet, but it’s the bitter bits of me that’s suicidal. Love and hate was born from strangers, so you never knew the difference between the moon and the sun– the lightness of tomorrow likes to coat the darkness of past days. Cigarettes and lung cancer, a dance of smoke that disguises itself as stress free, do you think I’ll die healthy? Drugs and my body, which one will make me feel better if I’ve been sweating for a week? You once said that we’re spinning around in a circle just waiting for someone to stop by– grab my attention and you can have my voice, steal from my hands and you can have my poems, which hurts more to have loved or to not have loved at all? An empty silence that’s so full of itself– I can’t hear myself think inside of my own head. I’ve got file cabinets tagged under read later, but I’m a sucker for love– so I feed into it. You once said if the sky breaks into a brighter day, you’ll be there. That is wishful thinking, my favorite kind. Words can’t give meaning to our story, but we still write. You once said that it has to mean something. Every statement paused long enough for several lifetimes to become real again. It feels like such a long time, but we’re still in love with them in there somewhere. It’s buried. It’s in a coffin, but it’s there and we know it. We can hear it. We can hear it. Fuck, we can hear it. That little beating that isn’t ours, it’s always theirs. And that’s my fear, you once said that maybe that’s my fate– I’m supposed to cling onto that strand of innocence, of who I used to be, to remember what it feels like to feel, it has to mean something. Giving meaning to nothing, my favorite pastime. Giving something to someone, the only way that I’ve been living. You once said that until I learn to keep more for myself, I’ll always end up in square one– alone, but as long as I’ve got you, it’s not true, right? Some thoughts like to sleep alone, that’s not one of them. Hold onto that piece of us, the poetic storm that is joy. Keep your kindness to a burn, a stretched out sunrise screaming your name is my simmer. I know about nothing and that’s my one redeeming quality. I know that I don’t know shit, and that’s why I write like this. I know that I don’t love like I used to, and that’s why I love like this. I know that I’m not the same person from last year, and that’s why my guilt likes to trip up. I know that I’m no longer in love with her, but I can’t seem to explain the empty feeling unless I spell her name backwards under a star somewhere that I can’t touch. I know that I’m still messed up, but I’m just taking advantage of my youth. You once said some people will get over you in a week, but it’ll take you a lifetime to get over someone. If forever is a drug then I’ve overdosed. If always is a lie then I’ll take the beautiful. If never is more and a secret is sore– then I’m sorry about the words that didn’t stop, I am trying. I am always trying. You once said that if we kiss the ocean long enough, the mountains will answer. I’ve buried my love letters on the highest mountain and emptied my heart into my art. If I live long enough to spread my wings, do you think I’d still be condemned? Life is too short to live in the past, but I can’t stop asking about my what ifs. Love is too long to just be over, but I’ll just keep painting over it with a new layer of red. If you’re still reading, then I’m still writing. This yin and yang battle of ours has no meaning. Tortured souls live in the canvas and I’ve seen enough chains– I shall be unbound someday. You once said I love you– darling, that’s the only fucking truth that I believe in. You once said that soulmates aren’t always lovers– I guess it’s just you. You once said that flowers don’t just bloom, they wilt– so I guess I’m just withered. You once said that if you had your way, I’d own the universe. You don’t get it. When you became my best friend, I got it.

You once said