#so i've been wondering about it since
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Something I've been asked a couple of times is "What is your first memory?" And personally I don't have an answer to that question. I have no idea what my first memory is, or even what that really means. So I'm curious
If you vote yes, I'm very curious to hear what your memory is, if you're comfortable with sharing it of course. And if you vote at all please reblog for a bigger sample size! Thank you! :)
#it's something i previously heard about only in fiction#and assumed it was made up#but then i got asked irl and the person was surprised when i didn't know#so i've been wondering about it since#poll#polls#memories
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Almost
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#katara#zutara fanart#Wip#First page of three is done!!!#Won't be sharing until I have the whole thing but I'm. So. Close!!!!!!!#It's been ages since I started this project omg#But it's worth it#Hopefully I'll get the chance to finish it tomorrow... Won't be making any promises tho#I've missed you guys and I can't wait to share this with you#Anyways I know it's ZK month (and all the content has been WONDERFUL so far) but I won't be participating. Sorry about that.#Working with prompts is such an amazing creative exercise but I know myself good enough to be certain that I'll never get past the first...#... prompt without coming up with seven different AUs and I can't deal with more of those right now lol#Like I've got this Blue Spirit! Katara and Painted Lady! Zuko AU on the works since last week or so. And more lore for the og BS/PL spirits#And also this S3 canon divergence AU... And another one... And another one...#And I need to work on them at my own rhythm otherwise I'll go nuts#So uh#Yeah#Love u all and I hope I'll get to share this one soon (if only to start on yet another comic. I've got ideas for two of them. Yay)#Dema out#(Sorry for the rambling I'm just anxious)#(Don't know why but I stopped caring a long time ago)
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boinga. boinga. boinga. boinga.
bonus heby weapon man:
#gopher art#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavymedic#red oktoberfest#team fortress 2#he is watching. respectfully.#spice ish#just adding that tag to be safe#been a while since I've done 2d animation#and ive never 2d animated any mercs yet. so this is the first of that#ive been going down memory lane a lot today and I wonder what 17 yr old gopher would have thought about my art now#i think they'd be fuckin embarrassed (because people are looking at this) but envious (because I've improved since then)#sentimental shit aside: medic likes to flaunt his assets. we know this. burly beast exists for a reason. and its to flaunt the assets#gopher - 1 firealpaca - 0
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Ben coming back to the cabin to see yet another cannibalistic ritual
#🐇#yellowjackets#again with the cannibalistic blue balls I see how you guys are playing the game at least I know it's gonna happen#poor javi it should have been travis let's be real he provides nothing#loved the misty on mari violence also#and we were all right about jackie's necklace! our girl's keeping the group together even still#also I know I'm literally the only one on the jackie antler queen train and while I don't think it's true rather than just funsies#it's making me wonder if this is more of a fae situation going on? it's been a looooooong time since I read about all of this stuff but now#after jackie's death and the baby's death and what happened to Ben this week it's kinda making me suspicious#like is the antler queen supposed to represent the unseelie queen? is it the unseelie queen? idk I'll have to look into this to see if it#fits. I'm leaning more towards that now than wendigo psychosis#also hilarious because I did say that portals was insanely jackie coded so we're coming full circle#also I've said I'm suspicious of walter but how the fuck is that dude so rich?? I'm onto his ass he is not to be trusted
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hello gemcyt fellas how we doing. just.... slipping my scar design right here......
#gemcyt#hermitblr#trafficblr#gtws#gtwscar#goodtimeswithscar#I AM SO PROUD OF THIS#glad to finally give him colors... he's been on my sketchbook since january#you have no idea how many times i've drawn this little fella. in different fits even!#obsessed#hopefully i'll get to my other designs soon (the fits. one other gem... and FUSION)#my art#i spent like 8 hours on this. just take it.#YES sl references AND hotguy references what about it#oh. and there's a reason for his gem being on the nape of his neck. wonder if anyone can figure it out
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you ever listen to sleep token and then get overly emotional because out of all the years of human existence, you get to exist at the same time as them?
#like. idk maybe it's just because i've been overly emotional IN GENERAL these past few days but like.#but oh god. they mean so much more to me than i could ever possibly express and i get to witness it in real time?#was talking to my partner about ii earlier and i just. i've been emotional ever since.#i get to exist on the same floating rock in this vast universe as THOSE GUYS???? fucking insane.#(in case you're wondering. distraction is the song that just propelled me to make this post)#sleep token#em's ponderings
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What is with Hoyo and their fascination about self-destructive blond men with dead fathers and their ridiculously buff academic boyfriends with unconventional methods of care that will pull the blond on a path of self-realization? I mean, I'm not complaining, I need fifty more of these, thanks. But it's so funny that there are two pairs of these types of characters, that just compliment each other perfectly.
Also I'm itching on ranting about the similarities between Kaveh/Aventurine and Alhaitham/Ratio, but also Kaveh/Ratio, that I might go insane if I bottle it up for too long. (I wonder if I could find something to observe through an Alhaitham/Aventurine lens probably)
#haikaveh#aventio#emotionally devastating pretty men my beloved#i fell back into the star rail rabbit hole only because of aventurine#i feel alive and absolutely devastated. 10/10 i need more of whatever this is#i played through penacony plot of 2.0 and 2.1 in one day and i've been spiraling ever since#my therapist will be so confused about me babbling about meaning of life and i'm so excited#when i get to the “the answer doesn't matter. but its existence does” i wonder how many callbacks to my previous babbling she could make
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.
#I know this is gonna come across as a bit pathetic#but I was already feeling a bit untethered today#wondering if I actually have a purpose here#ever since I came back to tumblr after my 4 month break I've felt very alone here#it feels a bit like everyone moved on without me#and I dunno i guess I hoped I'd be able to dive right back in again and just start engaging and enjoying it#but honestly I have been plagued with anxiety and intrusive thoughts about not being wanted#and the last thing I needed was some asshole anon#I'm already wondering if people are finding my event annoying#like maybe i should just shut up and quit#but I really fucking like doing this stuff I just wish I didn't feel so isolated#I'm being stupid i know#you should never trust how you feel about yourself after 9pm#but bleurgh its a horrible feeling#shut up saz
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(character uses he/they)
recently got to give bg3 a try n kinda just used it as an excuse to work on a design ive been struggling with. reminds me a lot of making murder lizards in skyrim as a middle schooler it's fun :3
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 fanart#dnd#dnd art#dragonborn#fursona#dragonsona#oc#oc: lizal#isekai'ing in my fursona was kind of a joke just to figure out how the game works and NOW i'm trying to make an actual durge#it's. uh. an interesting game to say the least lol#i'm wondering if there's a reason i've heard so much about the romances but not hardly anything about the gameplay#but that might be an unfair thing to say since i've only ever played the same Kind of rpgs before and i've NEVER played dnd#or other games based on its mechanics#i'm honestly just glad i can try it for free on my brother's library cuz i wouldn't have been interested otherwise hfgkfdg#''what characters do you like'' the durge. that's it. i like this freak and only this freak so far.
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Can we please talk about this scene???
Like look how scared he is! And Aziraphale is only worried!
Like it's these little moments where book crowley really come out cause anyone who's read the book knows that aziraphale is a badass. And I find it hilarious and amazing that when asked if he had a fire arm's license he like "oh of course I do" and crowley is just standing there dumbfounded and curious as to why his angel would ever need one.
AND AZIRAPHALE RESPONSE IS SIMPLY " I keep a gun hidden inside a hollowed out book" LIKE THAT NORMAL?!?!
I MEAN PEOPLE PLEASE! THIS IS THE (new) ARCHANGEL OF HEAVEN AZIRAPHALE HE'S NOT FUCKING AROUND
#can you tell I've been obsessing over this since it came out#like sweeties who's attacking you constantly that you needed a weapon to either scare them away or shoot them in a non-lethal area?!?!#good omens#soft crowley#scary angle aziraphale#I wonder if he'll take it with him to heaven to make sure Michael and Uriel keep in line#can you imagine?? just “god I'm kinda new to the job so please forgive me for what I'm about to do”#innefable husbands#also this is the only gif I could find of this sorry
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Honestly I really want to be able to side with Solas in dreadwolf. I think it'd be super interesting to play as an elf in Tevinter and be able to just go "yeah actually I think Fen'Harel is right let's tear down that veil." I mean I assume the main conflict will be Solas trying to convince your character to join him, or your character being told they have to try and stop him, and there are not enough games that let you side with the presented "villain" character. I want to see what the world is like with no veil I'm so interested. Also so interested to see what full-on Fen'Harel Solas is like. Is he still as empathetic? Or is he more conniving and distanced from "mortals" like the old stories would have us believe?
#side note it's been a hot minute since I've played trespasser I've been obsessed with origins and anders and justice recently ok#i don't have super high hopes cause bioware sucks ass#Idk if they'll have the balls to introduce the player to that level of moral nuance#i just think it would be fun and cool to have some choices on the final outcome#*with the main villain character I should say#instead of 'player character who is awesome hero defeats evil mean bad guy'#i feel like the past games have always tried to paint a very clear target of who the 'bad guy' is#when in reality that's rarely ever so simple#i want a story that lets you decide if you actually think the bad guy is bad or not#and then lets you choose what to do about it instead of directing you to kill this one guy to save the day yknow?#and I think this would be a wonderful opportunity to explore that#and I mean we did get this is 2 if I'm honest#there's not really a singlular villain#you can choose if you think the mages or the Templars are right and side with one or the other#dragon age dreadwolf#fen'harel#solas dragon age#i just like complications in stories that make decisions very hard#make solas the players friend or something again make him seem like a person and not an evil mage entity bent on killing everyone#maybe I'm just tired of how often the writers have done moral gymnastics and tried to swap it around#to make it seem like actually the mages should all be locked away and treated like shit cause they're all egotistical maniacs#and that the Templar/mage issue is a both sides have a point thing when it is clearly not#maybe I just want them to direct us towards taking the side of the oppressed instead of the oppressors for once#Hope you enjoyed my longish rant I hide in the tags as usual
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So idk if I can really articulate the way I'm feeling rn to translate it perfectly, but I want you guys to know how much I truly appreciate everyone who's followed me over the years, who has interacted with me in any way no matter how small, and anyone who has shown up recently. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. It's probably cheesy to say but everyone here has made my life so much brighter and I feel so unbelievably blessed to have been invited into your lives in some way, even if it's just as someone who sometimes shows up on your dash.
I decided to scroll through my tag on here and the way people have supported me over the years though everything really, deeply touched my heart this evening. The people who have drawn fanart for me, the people who have commissioned me, the people who have tagged me in things (I cringe every time bc I feel soooo bad for not seeing them until I look in my tag once in a blue moon, but know I appreciate you trying to include me), the people who tag me when asked who their art inspirations or favorite blogs are (!!!!!!!!!??????), the people who post their art saying that my art inspired them in some way, people who express their excitement when they realize I've followed them (this will never stop being wild to me, what an incredible thing!!!! I'm just me!) everyone. It's absolutely mind boggling to me and I can't stress enough how much it means.
I've had such an incredible time on this site so far and met some of my closest friends here and just.. wow. Thank you so much to all of you, from the very bottom of my heart. I cannot thank you enough for all of your support!! Every little bit of interaction is a blessing to me and I've run out of ways to express that so I'll wrap this up here but yeah!! I hope you all have a lovely evening or whatever time of day it is in your time zone. Know that you've impacted me in a way I can't express and try to give yourselves a little grace, you'll never know how much you've improved the lives of the people around you by just spending a little time in their space ♥
#i wanted to tag a bunch of my friends bc i saw a lot of people i don't interact with much anymore bc of my reclusiveness in recent years#but i was terrified of accidentally leaving people out so if you're wondering if i'm thinking about you then you're exactly who i mean#love love love love love I'm so incredibly fortunate and i can't forget that!!!!#the fact that i've been on here since 2014 and have only received one mean ask that i can think of is insane#i know i've been a bit of a downer lately but overall my hope is that i've created a positive space where people can be happy and feel safe#in some way in any way#and i hope i feel like someone people can talk to (or at.. i know im bad at replying but i do like to read sjkdlfsd)#i've been told that i may come off as intimidating but i truly don't want to be i want people to feel comfortable interacting ^^#ANYWAY gotta go to bed this is embarrassing thanks for listening byeee#dl#not art#i forgot to mention this but also people who use my art for their pfps???????? SPEECHLESS#all of the art in the world and you chose mine it makes my heart so full#also just realized i completely forgot to respond to emails today#if you see this and you're waiting on one I'll reply tomorrow but know I've gotten it!
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You’re gonna die if you keep that up (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Kayako#And Teisel's there technically#*Die again - he's sticking with his track record lol at least he's consistent#Ghost/Curse GF arc!! I enjoy seeing ZEX happy but I am Concerned for him lol#ZEX be attracted to something/one that won't brutally murder him challenge - difficulty impossible#His affection for the grotesque and monstrous - I mean while it's admirable he does regularly put himself in dangerous situations!#Runs solely on the Suspension Bridge Effect lol - attraction and fear so conflated in his mind <3#I keep thinking of his human instincts as specifically Max's instincts since it's his body - Max's self-preservation and fear and hunger#Which ZEX dutifully ignores lol Max's body tells him to bolt and privately replies like ''Yes yes in a moment'' haha#His fascination wins out! To his own detriment haha#Although I say all that as though I don't relate in my own way - I have maybe just a few too many notes relating to ZEX lol#It's always been hard for me to get into horror in the way it's intended to spook and scare because I tend to get sad :')#So many monsters and ghosts and creatures are victims of circumstance! Like Kayako! As she is here she's not even malicious just dangerous#I've never seen the Grudge so it's only speculation but it seems very sad that she was tethered as a Curse rather than a malignant spirit#Like a battery moreso than an individual - what a terrible after-existence! It makes me sad to consider!#ZEX reaching out to her in his own way is very sweet <3 He's so biased towards his darlings hehe#In a way being human does suit him - we'll packbond with anything that Might have even the slightest inclination to not maim us lol#And the way he personifies her! (VUXonifies her?) Reading intention or emotion into her actions with no proof and no understanding!#The way he ''tries to read her face'' as if he hasn't been struggling with that this entire time - with other humans who can tell him so ♪#His pride is so delicious <3 He is so easily blinded to his own shortcomings in the face of pleasure and the potential for connection!#It's no wonder DAX worries about him so much hehe ♥#It also always makes me so happy to have something fit together so perfectly like those last two hehe <3#That vine didn't exist when this happened! But there it is!! I love newer memes on older media hehehe ♪♫
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one more thing about phantom traveler that excited me: the ending scene where sam and dean call john's phone and hear his answering machine.
dean is upset by this confirmation. it's the first time dean has had to really grapple with the truth: that john is intentionally avoiding them, that he's fine, actually, and that he's not in danger. it shatters the illusions that have driven him since the first episode, and this is disappointing. it's a betrayal of the expectations he had for his father.
phantom traveler is an episode about fear—dean's fear, specifically. the A story introduces his fear of flying, but it also gives indications of what else he's afraid of.
the episode hints at the perhaps surprising rigidity of their roles in hunting, with dean as the more active fighter and sam as the more passive intellectual, even when dean is scared stiff on the plane. given further context throughout the season, this can very well be extrapolated to mean that dean is afraid of sam getting hurt. he has to protect sam; that's his job, and taking on the more physically dangerous role and leaving sam in a safer position allows him to ensure that protection.
in other words, dean is afraid of losing sam.
the end of this episode hints at another, similar fear. if the episode is about fear, then dean's reaction to john's betrayal should logically also be about fear. the betrayal here is that john is running away from them, leaving them behind, avoiding them. he's intentionally breaking apart the family unit, and since john presumably doesn't know that sam is with him, that means john is intentionally leaving dean alone.
so dean is also afraid of losing john, and of being alone (aka, without a family).
we've seen this before, and we'll see it again.
dean's desire to be surrounded by his family also informs his fear of being alone, abandoned by his family or separated from them. it informs what he's willing to do to avoid that outcome, by, as seen in this episode, shoving his fear aside to perform his role (and as we later learn about him, by remaining blindly loyal to john, a result of his failure to protect sam from the shtriga).
this is the episode that truly begins dean's narrative arc, pushes him out of his comfort zone both through the A story with the plane demon and through the B story with john's answering machine. dean will not be able to return to the comfort and security of his loyalty and will instead have to confront his fears as they become more and more inescapable. sam's overarching conflict between family and freedom began with the pilot, and now four episodes in dean's conflict has been forcefully dug up and he can no longer avoid the choices he'll have to make.
#liveblogging: supernatural#1.04#dean winchester#yeah i've been thinking about this since last night. sue me#i needed to get it out before i can watch bloody mary. god dammit#sam's anger starts at the tail end of pilot. i wonder how long it'll take for dean's anger to finally bubble to the surface?#i can't remember atm#rewatching season 1 is the best decision i ever made. these episodes are so fucking good man holy shit#spn posting#.txt
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sunday six :D
taking the initiative for a change.... so i'm going to boop @four-white-trees @passthroughtime @skysquid22 @overdevelopedglasses
chipping away at sensei fic this week! here's kitakata and yagami making out lol excuse my bluntness... don't feel obligated to read if you're not into that o7
Yagami reached for Kitakata’s arm, found his hand, and guided it to his hip. Yagami pulled away from the kiss.
“Touch me, would you?”
Kitakata’s breath was warm on his lips. “Where would you like it?”
“Figure it out yourself.” He said and kissed him again. Kitakata didn’t seem to complain. His fingers slipped under the hem of Yagami’s shirt, meeting skin. He touched along the base of his spine, and Yagami couldn’t suppress the slight shiver that went through him. He could only imagine how gratifying this was for Kitakata. Hell, just seeing Yagami checking him out probably made his whole week, now this. He’d never be able to stop him from flirting now.
Yagami leaned into Kitakata’s hold, into his mouth, against that eager tongue. He was about to make Kitakata’s whole damn year.
#sunday six#good evening kuwagami nation#excuse my eagerness i've been sitting on this snippet for days#funnily enough an accidental pair with the last sunday six i posted#feels like i'm starting to make a bit more progress thank goodness#i've been needing to go over this scene for a long time and i finally did!#unlike my last sunday six this one is basically all new writing#the “make his week/year” thing was from the previous version of this scene and that's about it#for reference they first kiss at.... page 16 of my doc#and this is after the second kiss (unless i make drastic changes) and it's on.... page 44. lol#i know that doesn't say a whole lot since font size but yknow. just for reference as to how i'm going#not used to working on anything that's not a short oneshot so it's been an experience for sure#excuse my waffling i just can't stop yapping about sensei fic#four-white-trees can you just pretend you didn't get sent this whole scene yesterday? great wonderful thank you
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🤔
#i was walking to get a haircut earlier and i'm pretty sure i saw the guy i went on a date with back in June#i think we made eye contact and he was mouthing something? couldnt tell what or if it was a hi...#i was kinda in my own world with music and being on the phone so since i wasn't expecting to see him it took a min to register lol#walked up the block some thinking 'that was just Taylor right?' then turned around but dont think he did#it was one date but it was a really nice one and i've thought about him here/there#he wanted us to still be friends and i said i'd like that but he hasnt reached out--tho i did see him viewing my IG story recently#wondering if i should message him wondering if it actually was him but hmmm... iunno lol#has been kind of on mind since though#ore no inochi#reminds me i probably should get back to rewatching cardcaptor sakura which he got me doing lol#but for us now living in the same neighborhood for about 6 months i'm surprised we've only now possibly bumped into each other lil#*lol#[...i don't think i ever ate the ben & jerrys ice cream i bought at a bodega with him lol]
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