#so i sometimes use it as a scarf in winters lol
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The King and The Hand
two charming old men
it was really fun to draw mance
and i made qhorin's long heavy braid a VERY LONG heavy braid
#because it's cold out there and talking from my experience long hair can be used as a scarf#my hair is knee length and it becomes thigh length when i braid it#so i sometimes use it as a scarf in winters lol#asoiaf#fan art#a song of ice and fire#asoiaf fanart#asoiaf art#mance rayder#qhorin halfhand#night's watch#i love qhorin's respect for wildlings#my art.
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pac: winter wishes from your future spouse
this winter, what message does your future spouse have for you?
pick a card for a message and chanelled christmas song from your future spouse <3
take only what resonates, this is a general reading
reblogs and likes would be really appreciated! :) i would love to hear which one you picked!
PILE 1
♫₊˚.🎧 ✩｡ come out and play - billie eilish
hi, my love. how are you? i wanted to let you know - i wish you could see your full potential. your shyness is cute and i love that you’re introverted because we get along so well (and i actually keep imagining us going on dates and your cheeks being all flushed... so cute) but i wanna encourage you to be more confident sometimes. you are beautiful and strong and i love you. i understand that when you were younger, people were harsh to you when they spoke to you, but i want you to know that it’s okay to stand up for yourself. i’m proud of you and i’m proud of you for wanting to heal your inner child. i know it’s scary and it feels difficult to face your fears… but i promise that your life will change for the better. don’t be intimidated and don’t listen to other people, you’re stronger than you think. i love you, you’ve got this, hang in there, the cold will be over soon.
PILE 2
♫₊˚.🎧 ✩｡ santa tell me - ariana grande
hey darling!! you’ve been working so hard recently and been so focused, i really admire it. but baby, please don’t get too obsessive with academic / work validation - you are so much more than that, especially to me. i feel like you’re my soulmate and i know that it’s part of my destiny to meet you, do i sound cheesy? anyways, you inspire me to keep working on my goals and to be resilient when i want to give up. your kindness and loving heart already support me during tough times. i can’t wait to meet you, i’ve been waiting so long and i’m so excited to build a future together with you.
PILE 3
♫₊˚.🎧 ✩｡ love to keep me warm - laufey and dodie
oh baby, i’m sorry that people have betrayed you in the past. you don’t deserve that at all. you’ve been manifesting me and i’m glad that i’ve been helping you in a way… when we meet, i'm gonna feel complete because i know we’ll accept each other for who we are. have you been shutting yourself off from meeting people, love? i feel like you are for some reason :( i know it’s daunting to think that you might get treated badly again but you are a beautiful person who deserves to make meaningful connections. don’t hide away, you’ve got this. also this is hella random but you remind me of a princess :) do i sound creepy? possibly but whatever, don't forget to wear your scarf.
PILE 4
♫₊˚.🎧 ✩｡ christmas tree farm - taylor swift
i feel kinda shy tbh… hello, i hope you’re doing well. i’m normally not an emotional person but i’m learning how to communicate better recently. i want to change myself for the better cuz firstly, i wanna be successful and also cuz i’m probably gonna have to fight for you lol. anyways, i’m not giving up. take care and stay warm, don't get sick and i'll see you around.
#tarot#pick a card#pick a card reading#pac reading#pick a pile#pick a pile reading#pac#pac tarot#tarot reading#tarot readings#kpop tarot
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Remember My Name (Short story inspired by Saintobio)
Hello! This is a little thing I wrote inspired by @saintobio's work. This is directly inspired by they're sincerely yours and sincerely not .
To read and understand this, you must be caught up with sincerely not 's latest chapter (Chapter 8). I would consider this an AU, as I don't know what will happen in the next story. @saintobio 's is heart wrenching, so I had to write my own mini happy ending. Once they update, this whole thing probably won't make much sense lol.
I have received permission from @saintobio to post this
Again, this is directly inspired by @saintobio's work: Sincerely Yours and Sincerely Not.
Word count: 11.8 k
trigger warning: mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm, mentions of cheating, curse words used, angst
_____________________________________________________________
It had been a year since the coparenting arrangement.
Via emails and business calls, you would arrange weekly pick up times. It was strictly professional. The way you wanted it. Right?
Wrong
You knew that you were being selfish. Maybe you always were. Everyone was right. Sera, Eula, Getou, Satoru’s mom, and Satoru. You were a black hole. You pulled people into your problems and destroyed them. You spent so much of your life fighting to be half the woman your mom was. And you could never be. You knew this now
“Mama!”
Bending down, you opened your arms. Hugging him tightly, you thanked the chauffeur for picking him up from school.
“Hi baby! How’s my little star?”
“Good! School finished early?” It was a statement, but you knew he was asking. Why did you take him out of school early? You really didn’t know. This whole day had felt strange. The air felt heavier. Your fingers felt numb. Something was going to happen and you didn’t want to be alone for it.
“What? My star prefers to be with teachers than with me? You’re making mommy sad!” You playfully nuzzled your head against his cheek and dramatically pouted.
“I’ll never let you go to school again! Ha HA HA” You laughed evilly as you stood up and spun him
“Nooo!” He screamed between laughing.
After a good second of smiles and laughter, you finally set him down.
“Baby, I took you out of school because I wanted to spend time with you. Mommy is being selfish, so I won’t do this again. School is very important, ok?”
“Hmm… but mommy isn’t selfish. She’s a good mommy!”
You almost burst out in tears. He was too young to see how awful you were. His innocence and love for you blinded him. He would someday see you for the monster you are.
Allowing silence to fill the room, you stared into his eyes. God, those eyes. Your whole world could be found in them. Ruffling his hair, you grabbed the nearby scarf and wrapped it around him. Like any kid he grumbled at the added layers.
“Let’s go get ice cream and have fun today. Ok, baby?”
“Ice Cream! I love ice cream! My friend always, they always like laugh at me but not like mean laughing. But they say it’s so weird to eat ice cream when its winter. They think it’s funny. I think it’s funny too! Is snow different from ice cream? Because there’s like all this ice cream on the floor because it’s all snow. I just grab some sometimes and it doesn’t taste the same!”
As he got older, he has gotten a lot more talkative. He spoke incoherently and in run on sentences, but you understood him, nonetheless. You listened attentively when he would spend 30 minutes telling you about a funny thing his friend said. You listened when he would explain his entire school day the entire dinner. You listened the whole time.
“Yes baby, ice cream is yummy! I’m glad you and your friends laugh a lot. And no baby, snow is not the same as ice cream. Snow is made from the water on the earther getting colder, becoming clouds, and falling down. Remember I was teaching you about the water cycle? Ice cream is made from milk!”
At the mention of the water cycle, Sachiro excitedly launched into another spiel. He talked about the cycle, reexplaining it to you. He talked about how his teacher says he’s smart and how he got a toy. He talked about how his friends always ask him for help. He talked all the way to the ice cream parlor. As soon as you two ordered your ice cream, you settled down. Listening to him talk about his dreams. You always set your phone on Do Not Disturb whenever you are with him. He loved attention. If for one second you were to look away, he would immediately deflate. He was a carbon copy of his father. Sometimes you contemplated getting rid of your phone for this reason.
You spent the rest of the day chasing him through the park: pretending to be a dragon he fought, teaching him how to do cartwheels, looking for bugs. You took as many pictures as you could. Filming his smile, his voice, his eyes.
The day came to an end, and you carried him on your back to the apartment you were staying in.
After showering him and singing him a song, you finally took your phone off of DND.
Immediately, you were bombarded with millions of messages from everyone. 20 missed calls from Gen. 11 from Ian. 6 from your dad. 120+ text messages in total. 1 from Gojo.
Was everything ok? Please don’t let something be bad. Please. Please everyone be safe. You heart beat increased. You were immediately transported to when you received news of Satoru’s accident. When the world learned about you running out of your wedding. When Satoru’s affair came out to the world. When you first got the calls of your mother’s sickness...
No. I can’t be selfish right now. If something happened, I have to be strong. Swallowing your fears, you opened the message you thought was the most important right now
Satoru: I’m sorry
No no no. He can’t do this again. He can’t! No please God no… You were almost about to call him, when you received another message from Gen. She was incessantly messaging you. Accidentally clicking on it, you read her last message
Gen: Please answer. Are you ok?
Now you were confused. Why was she asking if you were ok? You weren’t the victim. Doing some simple sleuthing, you looked at all the previous messages. Your eyes widened. You heart stopped. Tears filled your eyes. Looking over at Sachi, you took in a shaky breath. You had to be strong. Or at least strong enough to leave the room before you broke down. You had to do this for him. Stop being selfish Y/N
Shakily you walked out of his room. Looking back to make sure he was asleep; you closed the door gently. Before falling to your knees and letting all the tears fall. They pooled in the floor. You made sure to be quiet, but you were inconsolable. You hugged yourself tightly. You were being selfish right now. You knew that. But you were alone, and it was dark. It was ok to be selfish right now. Your heart was racing as you consoled yourself.
After half an hour of crying on the floor. You took a deep breath in and stood up. You went to the bathroom and stared at yourself.
“You need to stop being such a selfish monster, Y/N. You can’t keep ruining people. You can’t always be the victim. You need to make amends for everything you’ve done.”
You started your nightly ritual. Tears would occasionally mix in with cleanser or the water, but you didn’t stop. You had to be normal. You had to be happy. You owed everyone that. Sometimes it felt like you were caged behind your smile. Your joy had become a prison: a way to pay off all the bad things you’ve done.
Settling in bed, you grabbed your phone and responded to almost everyone. Finally, you reached Satoru’s message.
Y/N: No worries! Congratulations! I expect an invitation lol :)
Satoru proposed to Akemi.
(Flash back to a year ago)
After that New York trip, you hated everyone. You hated your dad for pushing you into this marriage. You hated Getou for helping Satoru cheat on you during your marriage, but not understand why you wouldn’t want a baby with Satoru. You hated Satoru’s mom for projecting her self-loathing onto you. You hated your mom for dying.
Above all else, you hated Satoru for what he did to you. He blamed you for a marriage he agreed to. He gaslit you into staying, knowing your selfless nature would do anything for his forgiveness. Even if that meant being a wife to a man in love. You hated him for taking you to the Bora Bora trip. You hated him for choosing your only friend to date. You hated that you had to go through months of emotional neglect and abuse for him to be kind. Just for Akemi to get it immediately. You hated that he became a better person only after using you. You hated him. You HATED him.
A spiteful part of your heart almost laughed. You were right! All the reasons he loved you, he found in her. You saw all the pictures he had of her. You saw the way he would caress her fingers. You saw him waiting for her. He never loved you! You were just convenient. And that’s why he loved her! Because she was convenient. Had you never sent her to meet him, they wouldn’t have fallen in love. If anything, he would be dating the nurse! Gojo Satoru doesn’t love. He just clings on to what’s closest.
You spent a month marinating in these thoughts. In the week where you didn’t have Sachiro, you wouldn’t leave the office. You had begun sleeping there. You lost weight. Your face was pale. You were a walking corpse. You got assistants to pick up and drop off Sachiro. You never spoke to Satoru.
This was to be your life now. After spending three days in the basement of the office creating, cutting, and sowing, Nobara finally convinced you to leave.
“Seriously Y/N, this is the 4th time I’ve had to get you gauze instead of bandages. I know you’re hurt, and I know you’re trying to distract yourself. But this is getting dangerous. Not only for you but for the clothes! We can’t sell anything if it has your blood all over it!” She tried to joke at the end
As you finished wrapping the gauze around your forearm, you pitifully looked at her. She was so young and innovative. Despite being an intern, you had already set aside a permanent spot in the company for her. Stop burdening her with your problems.
Blinking away your sorrowful expression, you laughed. “Guess I gotta wrap myself in gauze and bandages before getting to work right?”
“Or you could just take a break. Jeez, I never thought workaholic millionaires existed.”
Ruffling her head as you walked towards her. “Thank you for waiting for me. You really didn’t have to. I promise, I won’t take advantage of your kindness. Go ahead and go home, I’ll lock up.”
Stunned, she took a second to respond. Your eyes were different right now. They were vulnerable and sad, but they were so kind at the same time.
“It’s no problem! Really! Thank you Y/N. Let’s work hard together.” Bowing, she made her way out of the store. Maybe you were going to get better?
After cleaning up, you placed the small stuffed bear you were working on in your small bag. Locking the store behind you, you headed towards your apartment. You had made the choice to move out. You were so filled with anger all the time. It would kill you if you were to accidentally lash out against the people you treasured. It was a tough conversation, but you needed space.
As you walked, you decided last minute to head into a craft store. You needed a simple heart locket. Then you could gift the toy to your son.
With only one mission and energy drinks fueling you, you almost didn’t notice them. It wasn’t until you heard your son’s gleeful laughter did you perk up. Peering through the aisles, you saw him. No, you saw them. They both held your son’s hands as they looked at the toys. Letting go only when he would rush over to the loudest or brightest thing. Finally, he settled on a small plush. It had no lights and didn’t make any noise. They encouraged him to get something more expensive. Something flashier. But he didn’t. He wanted the light pink bunny.
“It makes me think of mama!”
You saw Satoru and Akemi falter. It seemed that even the mention of your name silenced them. Your heart was beating so loud, you were sure they could hear it too. Leaning down Satoru ruffled his head.
“Aren’t you a sweet little munchkin! Oh, but look at this!”
You heart almost stopped. You saw Satoru redirect Satchiro’s attention to a cooler, bigger toy. As any kid would, he dropped the stuffed bunny and ran towards the huge toy. Gojo and Akemi exchanged relieved expressions. After purchasing the toy, they headed out.
Walking into the aisle, you picked the bunny up. Holding it, you inspected its simplicity. Looking at the face, you realized why the bunny reminded him of you. The bunny had little tear dops in its eyes. Rushing to the cashier, you bought the bunny and the heart locket. It appears that you rushed too fast, as by the time you exited the store, they were still there.
Sachiro, the spoiled child he was, was throwing a tantrum at having to be put in the car seat. As if he could detect your presence, Satoru immediately looked up. He saw you holding the bunny toy. His eyes filled with guilt and embarrassment. He knew that you were going to be upset. Of course you were. You were always angry at something. Nonetheless, he called you over. You were still the mother of his child.
After seeing the domestic moment in the store, you wanted to go up to them and give them a piece of your mind. You wanted to yell at them at the very least. But no, you walked over to them. Refusing to look up.
At the mention of your name Sachiro perked up. Although he was already strapped into the seat, he did his best to peek out of the car door.
“Hi Y/N”. the tension was palpable. Choosing to ignore him, you approached Sachiro.
“Hi my little star! How are you? Did you have fun today?”
“Hi mommy! I missed you! Wanna go home! We did a lot of stuff-hmm mommy what are you holding?”
Remembering you were holding the bunny, you quickly hid it behind you back. “Just work stuff baby. I’m happy to hear you had fun! Mommy has to go, but I’ll see you this Sunday, ok baby?”
Giving him a big kiss, you did your best to hug him and said goodbye.
Without looking up, you thanked Gojo and Akemi and began walking away. As soon as you got home, you set the plush down and pulled out your own. They both looked so ugly in your bandaged hands. Gently setting down the plush bunny, you tightly held onto the bear’s neck. Slowly, the pressure increased, and you were chocking the bear as tears streamed down your face. It was so ugly. This ugly bear in your ugly hands in your ugly home. Everything was so ugly.
A beep from your phone broke you from this trance. It was from Satoru.
Satoru: Hey
Satoru: Just wanted to let you know that we meant no harm in not getting him the bunny.
Then why? Why not get him that stupid toy! Sachiro is my kid! I am his mom! If he wanted that toy, then you should have gotten it! You almost wrote everything you thought. But no- no you were wrong. Sachiro wasn’t yours. Satoru had every right to get his son whatever he wanted. You kept Sachiro away from him for three years. You were the bad guy.
Trembling you came to the realization. Rushing to the bathroom, you stripped yourself of all the clothes and the bandages. You looked at yourself in the mirror. You almost barfed. You were a monster. You were disgusting. Disfigured. Non-human.
Is this how Satoru felt?
The worst part of you were your eyes. They were so dead. Did you always look like this? How could anyone even stand to look at you? You were vile.
You had change. You spiraled into an abyss of anger and resentment. You lost yourself. Where was the sweet girl you once were. Growing a backbone didn’t mean you had to change. After a quick shower filled with tears, you got dressed and headed into the spare room. You spent the rest of the night making a light blue bunny. Unlike the store bought one, this one was smiling. It was happy. Sowing the heart locket onto the chest, you put in a small image of you and Sachiro.
You had to be better. You had to be kind.
Grabbing the phone, you replied.
Y/N: Thank you for reaching out, but really, I didn’t mind!
Y/N: Good night!
The next day, you didn’t go to work. Instead, you were at a café, waiting for someone to show up. You felt awful, but you knew this was the best thing to do. You had to be kind. Even if that meant being a villain. If being evil is the price you pay, then you will gladly pay it. Even more people would hate you. Everyone would. But you knew what you were doing was good. You had to be good.
As soon as he walked in, you knew that he knew. His furrowed brow and tight jaw made it obvious that he was upset. And he had every right to be. Any anger and hate he harbored for you, you would accept.
“Toji, here’s your coffee. I’m so incredibly sorry for calling you at the last minute. I appreciate the time you took out of your day to meet with me”
He didn’t even sit down. He didn’t take the coffee.
Its now or never. Getting on your knees, you placed your hands on the floor and bowed. Your forehead was almost touching the floor.
“Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being a shoulder to lean on. Thank you for letting me join your family. Thank you for everything Toji. And I am so sorry for not giving you an ounce of it back. I am a selfish monster. I took everything you gave me and more. I was never a good fiancé. I wasn’t even a good friend. I took advantage of your loneliness. I will never forget the time we had together. But I ask you to forget about me. You deserve a more honest person. A person who can give you everything you deserve and more.”
People were looking and many taking pictures. Noticing this, he grabbed you by your arm, and headed out of the café. His grip was strong; it was sure to leave a bruise in your forearm, he nearly threw you into the passenger side of the car, slamming the door. He walked over to his side and began driving. The car was silent. You took refuge in it. You knew what he was going to ask. And you had to lie. You had to make him hate you.
Soon enough, he parked in a desolate park. He refused to look at you. You didn’t want to look at him either, but you did. You had to.
After minutes of harrowing silence, he finally spoke in a low voice
“Did you sleep with him?”
You knew he was going to ask this. A tear slid down your cheek. Your hands had begun to bleed as you kept them in closed fists.
“Yes”
He still didn’t look at you.
“Bullshit. You forget that I can see through your lies. I know why you’re doing this. You love him. You never stopped. Even after all the shit he put you through you still want him. Why now? Three years and I wasn’t enough for you. I defend you; I support you... all for what? For you to run back to your abuser. Every time I think your mine, you disrespect me. You humiliate me. You’re doing to me what that fucker did to you.”
“…Yes. I am. That’s why you have to leave me Toji. I can’t stand my reflection. I am so selfish-”
“Shut up. Don’t play the ‘pity me’ card. God, you really are something. The forever victim.”
You stayed quiet. In a perfect world, you would defend yourself. You would tell him that you aren’t trying to be the victim. You never were! You see that now.
“You’re right.”
“All those fucking articles were right about you. I spent so much time, so much energy telling you they were lies. Turns out strangers know you better than I do. You are a two-timing bitch. You are selfish. You’re insatiable. Why couldn’t I have been enough for you. How the hell was I competing with the man who never loved you? And losing! You deserve nothing, you know that… You never left that room, did you?”
“W-what room?”
“That hospital room. Sure, you’re older now. You’ve been to a million places. But mentally? Mentally, you’re still in that hospital room. There is no cure for your loneliness. Face it Y/N, the problem has and always will be you. If you want to die next to your mom, be my guest. But you need to leave that room Y/N. If not for you, for your kid.”
He stayed quiet. It was your turn to speak. He didn’t want to hear you, but his patient nature told him to give you a chance. Not to defend yourself. But rather explain yourself.
“You’re right Toji. I think that’s why I always look for you. You always have the wisest things to say. And I know that. I’ve let the world pass me by. I have a void in my heart and its rotted me from the inside out. I’ll spend my entire life working for your forgiveness. And my lifetime might not be enough for that. You are everything to me. And that’s why I can’t let myself continue to poison you. I’ve changed you for the worst.”
You two sat in silence. You could hear his uneven breath. Reaching out you put hand on his shoulder. For the first time he turned to look at you. And there he saw it. Your eyes.
Red and puffy with tears, your face for once didn’t look as haunted as usual. There was always this air of anger around you. Your shoulders were always tense. Eyebrows always furrowed. Not now. You looked younger. Instead of the anger that had clouded your eyes, he could finally see his reflection.
You didn’t look happy per se, but you looked aware. He looked at the hand on his shoulder. Even after everything he said, you were comforting him? This was the old you. The selfless to a fault Y/N. He couldn’t tell if this was a good or bad thing.
He then noticed the mark on your forearm, already purple. In the shape of his hands. Reaching out he gently caressed the bruises, guilt settling in the pit of his stomach. You grabbed his hand and brought it to your lips.
“Don’t worry about it. I love you Toji. Please, forget me.”
When the news broke out that you had ended your relationship, Ian did his best to remove a lot of the posts. It was hard since there were so many shots of you on the floor begging for forgiveness. If you didn’t look guilty then, now you did. Why else would you be apologizing? But you didn’t mind. Instead, you focused on removing any article that spoke badly on Toji. Especially after some pictures of you and that hand-print bruise were published.
Fortunately, your brand had already been established. And while the coverage halted some planned promotions and runways, by the end of the month everything was normal again.
You changed your phone to a flip phone. You did your best to text Satoru about pick up times. Most often he wouldn’t respond. Instead, you would have to call Miwa. On the rare occasion that he did, you would spend the rest of the day crying. You cried so much. You couldn’t help but remember that way they both held Sachiro’s hands. The domestic life you would never provide for him.
Often you would contemplate if you should have accepted him. Did you really love him? Or was it just easier to love him? You couldn’t trust yourself. Your mind was in ruins. You had no one. Since your change in attitude, people have become nicer to you. But you weren’t happy. And you stopped letting people get close. You even began to push away Gen and Ian. Monthly, you would meet with your dad and that was it.
Was life good? No, but it was better. You would be content if life stayed like this. But now, a year after your failed marriage, Satoru was going to prepare his own.
(Present time)
The day after receiving that message, it was published everywhere. It was the only thing articles were talking about. With the mentions of Satoru’s new marriage, you were put into the spotlight again.
The paparazzi swarmed you. Leaving your house had become difficult. They harassed you. Pushing you while demanding you answer questions. You smiled. You thanked them for their time. You would bid them farewell. It was too dangerous that you could no longer pick your son up. Not that you minded. You didn’t want to see how happy they were. Not until you were done healing at least.
You spent the weekend doing everything Sachiro wanted. Breakfast in bed? Of course. Quick trip to the local festival? Duh. Building a fort? Obviously.
By the time Sunday night came he was so tired. All he asked was that you sing to him before his dad picked him up. Now you sat with Sachiro’s head on your lap. Normally, a bodyguard would meet you at your door and take your son downstairs as to not garner attention.
As soon as the knock came, you gently laid his head on couch. Slowly you opened the door, expecting to see the normal guard.
“Thank- oh. Good evening, Satoru. Are you here to pick up Sachiro?”
He looked past you and saw Sachiro sleeping. Letting himself in, he sat on the couch and petted Sachi’s head. After moments of silence, he finally spoke up.
“Yes, but I also came because I need to talk to you.”
Solemnly, you nodded. “I actually have something to say as well. I was planning to email it later, but if you’re here then we should discuss. Would you like anything?”
Satoru couldn’t help but stare at you. Just a year ago, he had buried the old you. It was his fault he knew that. If you were mean and angry, it was because he made you that way. The damage was irreparable. But here he saw her again. Or at least a glimpse of her.
Even though he didn’t respond, you still handed him a water bottle.
“Did you want to go first?”
“Um, yes. I just... I just wanted to apologize for not letting you know. I was planning on calling you, but I got distracted. I’m sorry you had to learn that way.”
“Silly. We all flub up sometimes. I would have appreciated knowing so that I could explain it to Sachiro. Thank you for apologizing.”
Even though you were smiling, he could tell you were sad. Your eyes were distant. It was like you had detached yourself from everyone. Somehow, he already missed that angry Y/N. At least he knew what you were thinking. Now, it felt like when you two had gotten married. How you smiled every time he yelled at you. He expected you would say the “I don’t care what you do with your life” speech and spitefully kick him out. He could sleep well knowing you hated him. But seeing your smile, it felt like he was cheating again. No. No, you asked for him to forget you. This is good. You’re getting better. But is returning to your selfless self better? That’s when you suffered the most. That’s what changed you.
You didn’t give him much time to think as you started to speak.
“Satoru, can I ask you for a favor?”
He knew what you were going to say. This nice act can’t last forever. This was the angry Y/N he knew.
“Can you take care of Sachiro for a couple of months? I know it’s a lot, but I have some... business to take care of. I would take him with me, but I don’t want to separate you from him anymore than I already have.”
Oh?
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll take care of him. I can’t believe you had to ask. He’s my son, of course I will take care of him.”
His tone had changed. He had gotten angry at the mention of the three years. You didn’t react. You just thanked him.
Gojo enjoyed his week with Sachiro and Akemi. It felt like they had a family. This is what he wanted. Sure, you were Sachiro’s real mom, but Akemi was also kind of like a mom. He noticed how well the two got along. He sought comfort in her and laughed with her. Yes. This is good.
Yet, he couldn’t help but think about you.
Every time Sachiro offered the first bite of his food to him. Every time Sachiro defended the annoying people at the mall. Every time Sachiro smiled, Satoru saw you. Yes, Sachiro looked exactly like him, but everything about him was you. It was all you.
His heart almost broke when he saw Sachiro singing to his stuffed animals.
“Hey munchkin. BedTIME!” He joyfully grabbed Sachiro and swung him around the room. Instead of laughing, Sachiro began to pout.
“No playing at bedtime dada. No”
“Oh, my bad Sachi.” He was a replica of you.
Satoru sat on the bed as Sachiro headed to the bathroom, pulled out his step stool and began cleaning his face. After finishing his regiment, he waddled back into the room and settled himself into bed.
“Is dada going to read me a story?”
“Can I sing to you instead munchkin?”
“Hmmm… no thank you dada.”
“Aww you’re a meanie! Um, but actually I need to talk to you about something serious.”
“Mhmm”
“You like Akemi, right? Dada likes her a lot. But it’s very important that you like her.”
“Yesh! Akemi is nice!”
He knew that this was wrong, but he had to ask. “Do you ever think Akemi could be like momma?”
Immediately tears sprouted from the boy’s eyes. He started frantically grabbing and throwing some of his toys.
“NO! Mommy is Mommy! No one else is mommy! I hate Akemi! I hate her! I want mommy! Mommy!!”
Sachiro was screeching. Gojo was thankful that Akemi was in another room. She really did love Sachiro, and it would have broken her heart to hear him say that.
He held Sachiro close, trying to console him. “Shhh, baby. Daddy didn’t mean that ok? No one will replace mommy. Mommy is all yours.” Sachiro cried until his tears tired him out. No, I can’t tell him. Not today. Maybe Y/N should tell him instead. Sorry Y/N. I’m using your selflessness again.
Soon enough the week ended, and he passed him back to you. Instead of showing up in person, as he did last time, he sent the bodyguards to take him. He was being cowardly, he knew. But he couldn’t risk Sachiro hating him. It’s your fault their relationship is so weak. It should only be right that it’s your job to explain everything to Sachiro. Right?
Satoru: Hey, I tried to tell him about me and Akemi. He didn’t respond very well. Could you explain it to him?
You almost rolled your eyes at the message. You were being punished. You knew that. But you responded with a simple ‘Ok’ anyway.
Switch offs happened at night to make sure that each parent spent the majority of the day with Sachiro. You and Sachiro headed to the bathroom and completed your nightly routine all while dancing and occasionally teasing each other. This is what you lived for. Yes, you were lonely all the time. But you weren’t lonely with him. He was your reason to exist. It was going to hurt you being away from him for so long. But this would be good for everyone. This would be your last act of selflessness. This would atone for every bad thing you did.
By the time you cleaned up all the splashed water, Sachiro was already in bed ready for his song. Instead, you sat on the floor.
“Hey star boy, I need to talk to you. It’s going to be serious, ok?”
As soon as you finished the sentence, he burst into tears. Hugging you close he shook his head in a no motion.
“NO! I hate her! I hate her! She’s not mommy! Mommy is mommy! Mommy is my star and I’m her star! Not Akemi!”
Confused you held him tight. You cooed and brushed his snow-white hair back. “No Akemi won’t replace me baby.”
He pulled away to look up at you. “Daddy asked me! He asked me if Akemi could be mommy! I said no!”
You sighed dejectedly. This is why it didn’t go well. Your son was naturally altruistic. He would have understood and accepted had Gojo explained everything normally. But it seems that Gojo had made a selfish request. Why is it always my job to clear up Satoru’s name? Why can he be selfish and be the victim, but I can’t? No! No, I can’t think that! I’ve been selfish my whole life! Satoru is a victim. This will all be solved soon…
“My star, he didn’t mean it that way. Listen to me Sachiro. Me and you are a family, right? Me and you were also part of Toji’s family. Sometimes, when you love someone, you can add them to your family. Mommy messed up with Toji, and I’m no longer part of their family. But Satoru has someone he loves. Is it ok for her to join our family?”
You had dumped a lot of information on him. It took a second to process everything.
“So, we aren’t family with Toji?”
“I’m not baby. But you will always be, ok. That’s how love works. They love you a lot.”
“Are you and daddy family?”
“Yes, we are. You make us a family.”
“But does mommy love daddy?”
You were stumped. This is probably why Satoru didn’t want this conversation. So, you answered honestly.
“Yes, mommy loves daddy.”
“Then why does daddy love Akemi?”
“Love is strange, baby. Sometimes you love people more. And he loves Akemi more. Is that ok?”
He took a second to think
“I guess…”
“Thank you for being so selfless Sachiro.” You stopped to think. “But if you’re ever not okay, then you have to tell someone, ok? Its ok to be selfish too.” You were just projecting, but you knew it was important for him to hear that too.
“Ok?”
“Speaking of being selfish… Mommy is going away for a couple of months.” As expected, he started bawling. He started kicking and throwing. He was loud. He was angry. He was betrayed
“NO! NO! Mommy can’t go! Mommy can’t leave me! She can’t! I’ll be a good boy I promise! I’ll eat every veggie! I won’t cry anymore! Mommy can’t leave!! It’s Akemi’s fault! Her fault! That’s why mommy cries so much! Its daddy too! Mommy never cried!”
You started crying too. All those times you thought you hid your tears he saw. He saw everything. This was the worst-case scenario. You had to leave. You couldn’t let him see you like that anymore. You had to leave that hospital room. Toji was right.
You held onto him. Even when he began to hit you. Even when he rubbed his snot over you. You waited until he calmed down, Silent tears were streaming down his face.
“Can we go back to New York mommy? I hate it here. Daddy is mean to mommy. Mommy cries all the time. Mommy is lonely and sad while Daddy is happy. It’s not ok.”
You wiped his tears away.
“Sachiro, don’t say that. Mommy is paying the price for being bad. Daddy deserves to be happy. He loves you so so much. Please forget everything bad, Sachiro. Daddy wasn’t mean to me. If he was, I wouldn’t let you stay with him, right? Mommy isn’t lonely. She has you. Mommy will never be sad as long as Sachiro is here. You’re like my superhero! Mommy is struggling and she needs to fix some stuff so she can be a better mommy for you ok, baby? None of this is your fault. I have to go, but I promise you, this will be better for you and for me. I promise with my whole heart. The second I get everything sorted out, I’ll pick you up. This hurts me too, baby. But I need to be a better mommy for you. None of this if your fault. Don’t you ever think that. Hey, to help my little star, I have present for you.”
You stood up and presented him with a white, sleek box. It had beautiful light blue ribbon on it. He held it but refused to open it.
“I even got myself a present so we could match!”
You pulled out your own white box. Seeing that you both had a present, he was more willing to open his. It was a phone. You had a matching one. You really didn’t want another phone, as you were content with the flip phone you already had. It made ignoring all the evil things people said about you a lot easier to manage.
“When mommy’s gone, we can call each other all the time. I’ll respond to every text. I’ll answer every phone call. I promise. I won’t be gone for long. But I’ll text you so much you’ll wish I was.”
This garnered a small giggle from him.
“Don’t worry baby, we have the rest of the week. We’ll do everything you want.”
He nodded glumly. He wasn’t too happy, but he felt a lot better knowing he could reach out to you.
You slept with him. Holding him close, you did your best to treasure these moments.
When Sunday night finally came, you asked Satoru to pick him up personally. This was a big change, even if it was temporary. You wanted Sachiro to be as relaxed as possible. You and him sat on the couch. You had packed a bunch of his valuables and even some pictures so that he wouldn’t feel so lonely. He was again on your lap, fighting to stay awake as you ran your fingers through his hair.
The serene moment was disrupted by the loud knocks coming from the door. Expecting to see Satoru you opened the door, only to see Akemi there. You did your best to keep your smile. It wasn’t that you hated her. No, she was your friend at one point to. But an evil part of you knew you could never forgive her. Not for dating Satoru, but for choosing him over your friendship. You told her everything, but because she never experienced it, she could ignore it. That is selfish. As if you can critique others for being selfish.
You welcome both of them. Sachiro already stood up, holding the blanket closely. He refused to look at his dad or Akemi. His eyes were already brimming with tears.
Bending down to his level, you caress his face. “It’s ok to cry, my star. But before you do, I have a gift for you.”
Reaching behind the couch, you presented him the light blue bunny you had made. His eyes widened and he squealed in joy Running to hug it he struggled opening the locket. One he did, he looked at you with the biggest smile on his face. He ran and hugged your knees.
“Whenever you miss mommy, give that bunny a big hug, and I’ll feel it. Have fun with Daddy. You must be a good boy. Call me whenever you want, but I promise to call you every day. Mommy just needs to get some work done and then everything will be back to normal ok?”
After a couple minutes of holding each other, he finally walked over to where Satoru was. He raised his hands asking to be picked up.
“Thank you, Satoru. Thank you, Akemi. I trust you two will take wonderful care of him.” You bowed at a 90-degree angle.
“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you leaving?” You hadn’t spoken to Akemi in a while. For a couple months, she stayed employed with you. Yet, after your official break up with Toji, she immediately resigned. You always wondered if she thought you did it because of Satoru.
Smiling gently you respond, “I’m sorry, I can’t say. It’s nothing crazy, I promise! I just need some time.”
“It’s not because of…”
“Goodness no! I know I haven’t been the most supportive. I’ve been downright awful. I hope both of you forgive me for how I acted. It was selfish and attention seeking. I don’t expect any special invitation, but please know that I support this relationship. I’m glad you two found each other. Truly”
Satoru almost flinched at the words you used. The guilt of you actually believing all the nasty things he said to you weighed heavy on him. He almost regretted bringing Akemi here. If she wasn’t, he would have consoled you. Even if it only would have been a hand on your shoulder.
The worst part about hearing you subscribe to all his insults was seeing the honesty behind it. You did think you were a terrible person.
Before either of them could say anything, you started ushering them out.
“You guys must head out now! Sachiro still needs his night routine. He has school tomorrow, and he’s already stayed up so late. If you guys feel like he’s too tired, I don’t mind if he doesn’t go. It’s your call. Thank you both for everything!”
You nearly pushed them out of the apartment. As soon as that door closed, you broke down. This was going to be one of the hardest things you’ve done. But you had to do it.
Nearly two months have passed. Satoru relished every second he had with his son. He has never felt more like a family than he did now. Everything was perfect.
If it weren’t for the bunny he carried everywhere. Or the fact that Sachiro couldn’t do anything without having to send his mom a text. Sending a sleepy blurry selfie was more important than getting dressed. He would facetime you every night before going to sleep. There were times where he even ignored Satoru in lieu of sending you a selfie with a filter on top of it.
Satoru heard and saw more of you now, than he did in the last year.
Even Akemi was getting a little frustrated.
Yet, Satoru wasn’t just frustrated. He felt guilty. Your presence at the house had become so abundant, that he would often stay in Sachiro’s room just to hear you sing. He did his best to mind his business, but in the cases where he saw the silly selfie you would send back. It would plague his mind for the rest of the day.
From the few glimpses he got, he could tell that something was changing. You weren’t in the office, or in any modern building it seemed. You were a lot livelier. You were happier?
How could a mom be happier away from her child? He would nearly scoff out loud at the thought. Maybe this was your way of giving him full custody? No there was no way.
The next day, after sending Sachiro to school, he headed to the office. It was a usual day. He was glad he was able to save the company. He really was going to lose all this over you? No. He loved you. And you didn’t love him. But Akemi did. And his workers needed him.
As he continued working, suddenly Miwa and Nanami both presented themselves. Miwa was always easy to read. She was skittish and nervous. Nanami, on the other hand, was harder to read, but he could tell he was a little unsure as well.
“Nanami! Miwa! What bring you in here? I reviewed my schedule already. Is there something I missed?”
Miwa cracked first. “Um... Mr. Gojo, have you been in contact with Ms. Y/N recently?”
“She calls Sachiro nearly every day. Did something happen?”
“Well, have you been in contact in the last hour?”
“Miwa may you please get to the point?”
Nervously, she looked up at Nanami. Sighing and pushing his glasses up, he handed Satoru the iPad. “None of this means anything. And if something did happen, it is not your responsibility. It’s just rather strange.”
Gojo looked over the screen. In big bold letters there it was:
Y/N STEPS DOWN FROM HEARTS COMPANY.
Y/N SELLS OVER A MILLION IN STOCKS
HEARTES INTRODUCES NEW CEO AND CREATIVE DESIGNER
Y/N RESIGNS FROM COMPANY
Y/N’S APARTMENT UP FOR SALE?!
Gojo looked at the headlines frantically. He knew what all this was implying. Yet, he needed verification. He couldn’t fathom the thought that you would have… No there’s no way. You have Sachiro. You wouldn’t do this.
“Um... what exactly does this have to do with me Nanami?”
“It means nothing. It seems that Y/N has done some irrational choices that garnered some attention from the media. That’s all this is. Unfortunately, you know how convoluted your history is with her. Some people might assume that since she’s acting out in such an illogical and hysterical manner, that she may be going through a manic episode. A manic episode that may precede…” Nanami couldn’t finish the sentence.
His heart was beating. No, there’s no way you could be gone. No. No. You made a promise! You promised to return for Sachiro. Right Sachiro. That’s why Gojo is feeling so bothered and anxious. He’s worried for the mother of his child, that’s all.
“I think… I think I’ll head home. If she has been in contact with anyone, it would be my son. Thank you for letting me know.”
As he made his way to the car, he couldn’t help but speed. He needed to make sure you were ok... for the sake of Sachiro.
On the way, he received a phone call from Akemi. Normally, he would have pulled over and answered her. But not today. He drove, breaking most speed laws all the way home. He barely turned his car off as he rushed the door. Yet, as he got to the door, he found a box. It was for Sachiro Gojo. Without hesitation, he looked at the sender’s address in the corner and typed it in. It was a two-hour drive, but he didn’t care. This box didn’t prove anything. You must have sent it days ago. If you had planned to do this all at once that meant only one thing. You were planning to commit. There was no other option. With only this one mission fueling him, he unknowingly kept ignoring Akemi’s calls
After an hour and a half of driving, Gojo started to notice his surroundings. This was an older city. There were multiple shrines and elders. There were very few cars. A lot of cats. This was weird. He continued following the GPS. He passed the city and made his way up the mountainous region. By 5 pm. He had reached an isolated house on top of the hills. The land was relatively flat once he got up there. There was an impressive house. It looked new. The house wasn’t a mansion, but it was still large. The lights in what he assumed the kitchen were on. Hesitantly, he knocked.
Soon enough someone opened the door. No, not someone, you did
There stood you. You looked younger, happier, kinder. Unlike last time, your happiness didn’t feel like a mask. It felt genuine. He couldn’t marinate in his confusion as you grabbed his hand and pulled him in.
“Hi Gojo! I’m shocked to see you here! Come in! Let me get you a lemonade. It must have been a long drive.”
You sat him down on your couch. He couldn’t help but think about that mansion. The one where you were supposed to start and raise a family. This one was a lot cozier, with the architecture of it being rounder in a way. It felt like a cottage despite its massive size. There were a lot of plants. On the walls were framed pictures. Mostly of Sachiro. A lot were ones he’s never seen. There were a lot of selfies of you two. And hidden between all of them was that Disneyland photo. It was when he had amnesia. When he thought you were cheating. Before he knew of all your lies. That instantly ruined his mood.
Placing a coaster, you set his drink down. He couldn’t help but notice that the coasters were made with images of Sachiro’s drawings.
“The lemonade is rather tart since the lemons are homegrown. So, I went ahead and added a bit of sugar. But here’s some more if you like. I don’t know if you still have the same sweet tooth. So, if I put too much sugar, let me know! I’ll get you another cup!” You set down a jar with sugar. You were so talkative. The last time you spoke this much with him was when you were kids.
He didn’t move. Noticing his discomfort, you kept talking. “I was going to call you tomorrow. But I’m glad to see you. Did you come alone?”
“Y/N, I thought you committed suicide.”
You deflated slightly. Somberly you looked around the room. With a gentle smile, you looked at him. It was like you had puppy dog eyes. He could get lost in them. It had been a year since he was attracted to you, but he couldn’t help but want to lean closer to you. To breathe your air. He stopped himself in time
“It all happened kinda fast right? I was hoping that by doing it all at once, it would be like ripping the band aid off, y’know? People are bound to talk, so instead of doing it slowly and reigniting interest in my life every couple of weeks, I thought it would be easier if I just made one big splash and let the water settle from there.”
It felt like he was in a different dimension. You spoke so casually to him. It almost felt like he was the weird one. In disbelief, he stayed quiet.
Taking a deep breath, you continued. “Honestly, I did plan to. To commit suicide, I mean. So, I guess you weren’t completely wrong.”
He stared at you. How you casually admitted to your suicidal ideations.
“What? You can’t be the only one to be suicidal right?” You joked, hoping to ease the tension. It did the exact opposite.
“Y/N I need you to fucking explain everything. No jokes”
Your gaze hardened. “Gojo, you do not disrespect me in my house. I have welcomed you because you are my child’s father, but I will forbid you from coming here again if you speak to me like that again.”
He remained silent but nodded. It was weird. You definitely had grown a backbone since he last saw you in your apartment. Just a couple months ago, you looked like the submissive, docile, doormat you once were. But now? Now you confident and strong without sacrificing your trusting and selfless nature. You were a perfect blend of your youth and your experience.
“This is my way of asking for forgiveness. From everyone. I’ve done a lot of awful things. Since that New York trip, I became vindictive. I became evil. I didn’t know why. How could I be jealous that the man I encouraged to move on moved on? I was changing Satoru. I had thought that being mean and cold was a way to protect myself. But in reality, I had gotten worse. I couldn’t stand my reflection. Then, I saw you Akemi and my star at the store. You remember right? With the pink bunny? You all looked so happy. It was the life Sachiro deserved. I went home and saw myself. Really saw myself. I couldn’t recognize who that person in the mirror was. Since then, I was determined to seek forgiveness from everyone I wronged. My first thought was to kill myself. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that to my star. Even now, I find myself fantasizing about just jumping off that cliff… I even planted flowers there so whenever Sachiro visited, he would feel safe. But I can’t. That’s why I have all these photos and drawings of him. If I keep thinking of him, I’ll never have time to contemplate killing myself.”
Gojo couldn’t stop his eyes from watering. He almost reached out to grab your hands. He closed his hands harshly, forcing himself not to move. “But Y/N... you didn’t do anything wrong. I mean, you have done wrong. But we all have. You shouldn’t have to punish yourself for existing.”
Always and empath, you leaned forward and placed a cute octopus squishy in his hands. He quietly accepted it, showing the indents his nails made on palm “You don’t want to accidentally cut yourself. I learned that a little too late.” You laughed gently as you showed him your own palm. There were small scars in the shape of your nails.
Holding the squishy in one hand, he used the other hand to inspect your hand. They were different. It was obvious that you still took care of your hands: soft, supple, perfect nail beds, trimmed nails. But upon further inspection, he could see multiple scars littering your fingers. His gaze drifted upwards to your forearm. There he saw some bigger scars. Some still scabbing. He could feel his own scar throb at the memory of the pain. Gojo couldn’t stop himself as some tears fell out. He couldn’t stop himself from tracing their outline.
“Why- why would you do this? You were alone the whole time? Then why? Y/N I don’t understand you? You were going to…”
He was interrupted by your melodious laughter. You pulled your hand away. “You’re too sweet Gojo. No. No these aren’t what you think they are. It’s just some office mistakes. I jumped into my work to fill that void of loneliness. But you know, it’s pretty dangerous to be handling sharp rotary cutters when you haven’t slept for days.”
Grabbing his hand, you pulled him up. “Let’s go for a walk!”
Leading him to the back door, her couldn’t help but stare at your interlinked hands. The tips of his ears turned pink. He felt so young right now. No. No I can’t think like that.
The back yard was like a Ghibli fantasy forest. It had plenty of lush green plants and flowers growing everywhere. In a corner there was a cute gazebo with two easels ready. One noticibly smaller than the other. There were plenty of trees a reasonable distance from the house. They provided a nice area of shade. Some grew peaches, others grew limes. A stone path led to another corner where a sand pit was already set up. The entire perimeter was protected with a gorgeous white fence. Tall enough that Sachiro wouldn’t be possible to scale it. There was one exit. You headed there still holding Gojo’s hand. Typing in a security code, the door opened, and you headed into the forest. After a 5-minute walk, the forest cleared and presented a cliff side. Undoubtedly it was gorgeous. The ocean was beautiful. Flowers and clovers surrounded the area.
He didn’t realize how much time had passed until he saw that the sun was setting. You let go of his hand and sat down, resting your head on your knees. You always had that curious habit of returning to a fetal position. Settling next to you, he couldn’t stop himself from looking at you. You looked ethereal. With the sun in your face, the wind in your hair. There was a gentle smile playing on your lips as you stared at the ocean.
“Gojo…”
He couldn’t help but squish the little octopus. He didn’t know why it hurt him to hear you call him only by his last name.
“I disagree with what you said earlier. I should be punished for my existence. I’ve done nothing good. Born into a life of luxury, and I still managed to want more… When Toji broke up with me, he told me something very valuable. He told me that I was stuck in my mother’s hospital room. That I never left. And he’s right. Ever since my mom died, I became a walking corpse. I cursed myself with eternal loneliness. And yet, I so wanted to fight that loneliness. So when my father mentioned the marriage, I was ecstatic. Although we haven’t spoken in years and you refused to answer any messages I sent, my loneliness convinced me that you wanted it. I mean technically you did, but you didn’t really want it. I wonder, if I had never accepted that proposal, would you still be with Sera? Would any of this happened?”
The wind filled in for Gojo’s silence.
“My selfishness blinded me. I so badly wanted to be loved that I ignored any sign of resistance. Even when you told me that I would never compare to her, I wanted you to change for me. How pretentious. Had I just given up, then maybe you wouldn’t have thought that you loved me. When you couldn’t vanquish my loneliness, I searched for it in Toji. I abused his friendship just so that I wouldn’t be alone. When I figured out the real reason you married me, the reason you bought that house, the betrayal. That almost killed me Gojo. Imagine that. Even at my lowest I couldn’t stop seeking attention. I put myself over you, as usual. I lied and kept you from your child. I shouldn’t have been so selfish. It was okay that you didn’t love me. As long as you loved our child. But no selfish Y/N strikes again. Then, even though I knew I wasn’t ready, I still accepted when Toji proposed. I’m a monster. Just a year ago, I almost lost it. I was becoming unrecognizable Gojo. I couldn’t look at you and Akemi without getting angry. How was it fair, that I had to go through months of humiliation, which in hindsight, I did deserve, just for her to get the perfect boyfriend. I cried for months before you even held me. The first time we had sex, I had to beg you to kiss me. I hated her and I hated you. But that’s not your fault. Nor is it her’s. It’s mine. If I wasn’t so selfish and I didn’t think you loved me then none of this would have happened. I ruined so many lives because I couldn’t see past myself. If I didn’t use people to fill this abyss I have in my heart, I wouldn’t have caused you to almost commit suicide. I wouldn’t have taken Sera’s boyfriend from her. I wouldn’t have wasted Toji’s time. I wouldn’t have hurt your mom. None of this would have happened. I should have stayed in that hospital room. I should have asked them to bury me with her.”
You were crying now. Your hands shaky as they gripped tighter. You were curling in on yourself, wanting to disappear.
“If I hadn’t been so awful, Sachiro wouldn’t have seen me cry so much.”
Gojo’s heart broke. All those lies. All those insults. You believed them. No. No you weren’t selfish. You were the opposite. You always put other above yourself, even if it hurt you. Of course, you’ve committed your share of sins, but never maliciously. You were too trusting, too eager to please. And to think he didn’t love you? That nearly shattered him. He may have moved on, but the love he had for you was real. Even though he may have forgotten how to love you: even though he may have abused you: even though he didn’t deserve to love you, he has never stopped loving you since you were young.
He reached out a hand to soothe your back as you hiccupped through your gentle tears. You had a special charm that made everything you did look beautiful. But he paused seeing how stunning you were despite the tears on your face. He almost kissed you. But he didn’t. Not because he held himself back, but because he saw your eyes.
As you stared into the ocean, your eyes changed from their vulnerable and kind state to a detached, disconnected gaze. Almost like you were hypnotized by the sea. The waves calling you. It was the same gaze he had when he was suicidal.
“After seeing you at the store, I realized that I needed to atone for my sins. I needed to seek forgiveness. That night was actually the night I realized I needed to commit suicide. Not to ease my own pain, no that’s a selfish reason. I wanted to commit suicide so that everyone’s bad thoughts, everyone’s problems, and every bad thing I did could die with me. If everyone took turns spitting on my grave, I wouldn’t mind. As long as I was no longer causing problems, it would have been worth it. I spent the whole night making a new stuffed animal for him. I cut myself a lot by accident, but I didn’t mind. That was going to be his last gift. My existence is a mistake. Me dying would be a gift to the world.”
“And?”
“And I clearly decided not to. I owe my life to Sachiro. As long as he needs me, I will live for him. I want to die, Gojo. I want to give everyone the life they had before they met me. I want everyone to be happy again. But I can’t. Because I have my little star. I’m evil Gojo. I’m a black hole. I pull people in, only to destroy them. I’m afraid one day I might do that to him too.”
You turned to look at him, tears streaming down your face.
“It kills me to know that one day I’ll hurt him too. But he loves me so much. He fills the void in my heart. I’m not lonely when I’m with him and I know its selfish, but the way he looks at me... The way he looks at me almost makes me think I’m a good person.”
Gojo continued staring at you. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Hearing you talk about yourself this way hurt him immensely. It almost felt like he was drowning. No, you didn’t get better. None of your problems were solved. You just learned to live with them.
You leaned close to Gojo. The honesty in your eyes almost scared him. “Gojo, if you ever notice that Sachiro is suffering being with me, I need you to tell me. The second I start poisoning him, I’ll kill myself.”
The conviction behind your words paralyzed him. You two sat there for a minute. He didn’t know what to say. He knew what this felt like. He knew the exact emotions you were drowning in. But he couldn’t help but think that you were a lot worse. You have begun to hate your entire existence. You had no one. The amount of self-hate you had was shocking.
After a couple minutes of silence, you wiped your tears away. Standing up you offered your hand to him.
Looking at you now, it felt like he was in an alternate dimension. One where he confessed when he was younger. One where he never met Sera. One when he got on a knee and properly proposed. And he almost believed it. Just as he reached to grab your hand, he finally noticed how his phone was ringing. Looking down he saw Akemi’s number. He looked at you apologetically. You smiled kindly and continued to offer your hand. As his bigger hand enveloped yours, he imagined pulling you in close and kissing you in the sunset. Just like the romance novels you loved. As soon as he stood up, though, you released his hand. Walking past him you headed back to you house.
You were giving him privacy. He was at crossroads; stay here and answer the phone or chase after you. All those times he didn’t. Maybe he should this time. No. He’s going to get married. He’s made his choice. And like usual, he didn’t chase after you.
He spent some time with Akemi on the phone. He explained the entire situation to her. He omitted everything you told him, though. That was for him only. He calmed her down and promised he would be home by the end of the night.
Walking back to your house, he smelled the pasta you used to love so much. You only ever cooked it for him once. He saw you humming as you stirred the pasta with the sauce.
“Y/N, I’m going to head out now. Akemi is worried. You should call your family too. They’re probably worried too.”
You turned to him. You looked like a picture-perfect housewife with the apron you had on. You hummed in agreement.
“They already know, but thank you for the suggestion. It was nice seeing you. Would you like some food to take for the trip?”
He should say no. There’s no way to explain leaving work to spend the whole day with your ex-wife to your fiancé. Much less if he brought food with him.
“Sure.”
You packed it into some cute tupperware. It had little duckies on the lids. He just realized how much you changed financially as well. Besides the large house, one would never assume you came from wealth. There was very little name brand stuff. A lot of the decorations were local.
Noticing his curious gaze as you handed the Tupperware to him, you giggled.
“If we see each other again, feel free to ask any questions. We’ve both changed a lot. I hope next time you talk a bit more. I kinda hogged the whole conversation today huh?”
You walked him to the door and waved him goodbye.
He spent the next two hours just re-living that time. Already he missed being in your house. He could already imagine you, him, and Sachiro painting outside or going to the local city for festivals. Despite all the heartbreaking things you told him, all the awful things you thought of yourself, you managed to make a sanctuary. It was always in your nature to find the silver lining in every circumstance. You obviously needed a therapist. But a selfish part of him was glad that he was your confidante. As far as he was concerned, only he knew of how you felt, where you lived, why you did what you did. It was like you were still his.
As soon as he recognized these thoughts, he pulled over. There is no way he can think like that. No that would be unfair to Akemi. He’s already hurt you so much. He pushed you to the point of trauma. He changed you. Even now, the scars of hos he treated you were present. Everything you thought was because he had told you it at one point. No. He couldn’t do all that to Akemi either.
Grabbing the cute Tupperware with the pasta, he almost threw it out.
Instead, he took a second to look at it. It was two big ducks and little baby one. You had used a ribbon to tie some utensils on the top. Everything your hands made had some care and love imbued into it. Opening it, he aggressively ate it all. It was delicious, as expected. While he ate, he started crying. Why? Why did seeing you like that hurt him so much? Why did he use Akemi’s name instead of calling her his fiancé? Why didn’t he hold you as you cried? Why do you use his last name? Why?
He drove home that night. He kissed Akemi before she could even greet him. She immediately melted into the kiss, even if she was still peeved at being ghosted the whole day. He playfully pleaded for her to forgive him. He smiled. He laughed. But for some reason her couldn’t look her in the eyes like he used to. A part of him wished it was you he was holding.
He went to Sachiro’s room. It was messier than usual. He noticed a bunch of crocheted toys he had never seen before. I guess that’s what was in the box. He reached his son, and he stopped to stare at him. Sachiro was holding two things as he slept. The bunny, per usual, but also a note. In big letters Gojo could make out Momma’s Ready! Sachiro was still learning to read, so you hadn’t written much. Still, just seeing those two letters had excited Sachiro so much that he slept with it. On his little tummy laid the phone. Close to dead, Gojo picked it up to charge it. There he saw that Sachiro had been listening to a video you recorded of yourself singing to him. Oh right. Since you had spent the whole evening with Gojo, you couldn’t call Sachiro.
For a reason Gojo couldn’t explain, he sent the video to his own phone. He plugged the phone in and walked out of the room.
Akemi had already headed to their own room. Before Gojo could, he had to organize some stuff.
“Hello, I know its late. I’m just letting you know not to pick up Sachiro tomorrow. I’ll handle the drop off.”
Gojo had to see you. Just for answers. He just wanted you to explain yourself. That’s all
At least that’s what he told himself. But when he slept that night, he dreamt of living in that house with you. He dreamt of cooking breakfast for Sachiro and you. He dreamt of a world where you were his.
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Okay, i have the first five stars. this took way longer than expected lol.
@allyheart707 is the one on Casey's tail. she is the star of sleep, and her bow carries dream arrows that grant those she shoots with it the dreams they will love the most.
@onlyhereforturtles is the fox looking at the black that Casey always leaves behind when he walks. They are a kitsune with markings that were surprisingly hard to get right. i was unable to add in all the stuff they mentioned, but i hope this is still acceptable.
@kitmay05 is the one waving at Casey. She is a small farmer who harvests shinedust and gifts it in little pouches to people in need. different kinds of shinedust has different qualities. she has a hoe that can be used for farming or whacking.
@cosmocafe is the goat floating at the top left. the only thing they mentioned was for the goat to have a scarf, so i made up a few little things while i was drawing. they can float and wherever they step they leave swirls of various different temperatures depending on the season. they help make the winter cold and the summer hot.
@icequeenabby is the little owl on Casey's head. she flies around the night sky while the other farmer stars are working to harvest the shinedust. she likes to fly underneath them and catch some of the stray dust on her wings. she will then happily fly around the newer shines that are just blooming and shower then with the dust to make them glow even brighter. she also has a stick. there isn't anything special about this stick. but she will kill you if you try to take it from her.
Whew, okay. that took forever. i still have two more stars to add to this, and then i wanna make individual drawings for each star. also, im calling the characters "stars" and the actual glowing dots in the sky "shines" so as not to get them confused with each other. I also want to add that i'm sorry if the stars don't look exactly how you guys described them. i did my best, and for some of the harder ones i just gave up and simplified them. at this point i'm too tired to change anything about it. oh. the explanation for why the stars are following Casey. sometimes, Casey will be walking through the Night sky to do something. sme of the stars see him and decide "oh! it's the Night Spirit! i bet i could help him with some stuff!" and they just start following him. they usually follow him around for as long as possible until he tells them to leave or to go do something. they will even follow him outside of the nighttime. Casey acts like he despises these little guys and their persistence. but he actually adores each one of them and will take a bullet to protect his tiny star bebes. the edgelord will never admit it though.
also, fun fact: the night sky is a little world of its own! it may just look like the sky from the earth, but it is more of a vast expanse of white where all the night spirits live. and yes, i know what you are thinking. "white? shouldn't it be black?" well, It is a mix of both. Wherever the upper spirits walk, the leave black footprints that spread like markers bleeding into paper. the blackness will eventually all drip away and land on the border between the celestial realm and the mortal one. then it just stays there, making the sky look black to everyone below. the Shines are bright enough to be able to shine through the backness though, giving the look of a night sky. also, only spirits can go through the borders alone. any mortal has to have celestial help to get to the celestial realm.
it might be a bit until i work on this again since i have a ton of work to do, family staying at our house for the eclipse, a bunch of other drawings i wanna get done, and way too little sleep to function properly. so yeah, imma sleep for a bit. catch up on some stuff. and then i will likely start up on this again. ALSO!! feel free to make this digital and add your own stars to this! i'd love to see what other people can come up with for this!
info on the au can be found Here! oke, bye now. hope you like it!
#Wow.#fuck#this week has DRAINED me#physically and mentally#i really really hope you guys like this#and that's two “reallys!”#i spent n excessive amount of time trying to get everyone to look right#haha#typing is hard when you are tired#Also i promise i will draw the two that are left#i just need a nap and some more coffee#maybe a fried egg or two#Spirit AU#Oc#Moot Stars!!#that is their official name now#even though not all of them are even Moots of mine#lol#Goodnight#:)
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I am trying to find a person who's tags I've read about their grunge skirt that they pin a hundred ways and I think after all it was you 😵 Can you share the pictures please? I am so curious how that looks!
yeah absolutely!! i mess with this thing all the time (i hope you can see it well enough, my room has 1 singular window and is very busy)
for one thing, its the most basic skirt imaginable. black stretchy fabric, no pockets, and 3 tiers of fabric. shes got plenty of walking room, and makes for a perfect base. would not be surprising to find it in the all-american white woman wardrobe. but i am not the all-american woman, therefore i get a little silly with it from time to time
my favorite way to pin it is just one side straight up, it gives dimension and some Pizzazz without being a nuisance (and without getting too cold in the winter). I use one bigass safety pin, but sometimes i get a bit anxious about it coming loose, so i put a bunch of little safety pins around it. you cant see them super well but theyre there i promise
the reflection is miserable but actual pins make it fun too!
when i go to more goth/alternative functions, i do a double pin to make it look like curtains. i like to wear long socks and tights so this lets you see the patterns with some drama. its super fun but i only do it for special occasions LOL
i recently started double pinning on opposite sides, making the overall skirt shorter and more gathered. it might look a bit like a big bag to some, but i like it for the warmer days
my last trick is just to put something around the waist to spice it up. i have this gorgeous green/blue silk scarf and its the perfect size to tie like a belt. very shiny and sleek, and i love the pattern too. another staple is a chain belt, i actually got this one from hot topic (sometimes they have bangers) and i wear it all the damn time, i love it. you can see both of these accessories in Several of my outfit posts teehee
i hope these are helpful! i dont really have a tripod or something to properly take nice pictures so i just sit my phone against my windowsill and hope its good enough... but i hope this gives you some ideas for your own clothes!
#answering asks#hopefully this is legible to anyone who comes to find it LMAO#goth fashion#style#fashion#goth#original post
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hi there! i stumbled on your blog and the kokushibo headcanons are cute lol. i was wondering what your thoughts are on a modern au? like his style, what his house/apartment would be like, what he’d do for work, that kinda thing. if you answered this before or if you’re not taking requests I’m so sorry, pls ignore! have a good rest of your day :)
Kokushibou Modern AU Headcanons
(I'm going to put him in his human form for this)
A little about him
+ His name is Tsugikuni Michikatsu, but Kokushibou is a nickname of his
+ He got the nickname from other members of a kendo club he participates in
+ Doing kendo is his main hobby and he sometimes enters competitions
+ He hasn't won a competition yet and has the habit of coming in second place
+ He grew up in a small town not far from Kyoto, but he lives in Tokyo now for work
+ He enjoys the options available in the city, but it can be too busy and crowded for him
+ He's a bit distanced from his family and doesn't visit them often
His job
+ He works as an editor for a publishing company
+ He doesn't mind his job and he makes pretty good money. But he does work overtime quite often
+ His least favourite part of his job is talking to people. He's glad that his job doesn't make him talk to the public (like he would if he worked at a shop or restaurant), but talking to clients or even his colleagues is exhausting and annoying to him
+ Once he reached a high enough position in the company, he stopped going to the 'mandatory' drinking sessions after work
+ His colleagues don't really like him for that, but now that he's in an editor position, there's not much they can do about it
+ His work is always very high quality
His apartment
+ He lives in a residential neighbourhood of Tokyo, just outside of the city centre
+ His apartment is a one-bedroom. It's in a modern building, but the design of the apartment is more traditional
+ He has a collection of calligraphy scrolls that he hangs on his walls
+ He has a single indoor plant by the main window
+ One of the things he invested in is his bathing area. It would look kind of like this, and he's very proud of it:
(photo from japan-guide.com)
+ He can sit in there for hours. He might have fallen asleep in that bathtub once and is lucky his head stayed out of the water
+ He's kind of obsessed with his heated toilet seat, and if you don't use a bidet (or bidet function), he thinks you are a barbarian
+ He likes to play quiet music at home and hums along often
+ The music he plays is either traditional music or vkei
+ Liking vkei is his guilty pleasure
His style
+ He wears a typical black or dark grey suit to work. He ties up his long hair in a man-bun
+ When not at work, he usually wears his hair in a high ponytail. When it's hot out, he wears it in a man-bun regardless of where he is
+ However, he wears it down when he sleeps, without exception
+ His non-work wear is casual, but sleek-looking
+ He pulls off a nice t-shirt with jeans or trousers very well
+ Sometimes he wears well-made, high-quality sweatpants (like the kind that don't really look like sweatpants but they are)
+ He doesn't like shopping, so he probably buys all his normal clothes at Uniqlo. He did, however, invest in better-quality suits for work
+ He wears the same pair of Adidas trainers that he's had for years and somehow they're still in very good condition
+ In the colder months, he half-buries his face in a scarf when he's outside
+ He has an excessive amount of socks for some reason
+ He wears jinbei as pyjamas most of the time, but will wear some thermal sweats during the winter
+ No matter how hot it is, he will not go shirtless, even if he's alone at home
His hygiene
+ He bathes daily in the evening, and it's a ritual for him
+ He's really into hair care for the obvious reason
+ He uses the &honey shampoo/hair care line
(picture from myjcos.com)
+ He also likes the smell of tea tree-scented soaps
+ His facial hair grows thicker on his chin and moustache area. He shaves every day, but there tends to be a bit of a shadow come the evening
+ For some reason, he has this obsession about grooming his eyebrows
+ He shaves his body hair
Other things about him
+ He doesn't like Apple products
+ He wears glasses for reading
+ He sneezes a lot (whether from allergies or from having a cold)
+ He likes to cook
+ Karaage is one of his favourite foods
+ He likes to play RPGs
+ He's not good with foreign languages
+ He's one of those people who needs to sleep with a blanket no matter how hot it is
+ He's a side-sleeper
+ He gets sweaty at the back of his neck and his forehead
+ He has some random freckles on his face that he covers with concealer
+ He's a loner, but wishes he had someone to spend his life with
+ He easily feels cold
+ He's depressed, but is in denial about it
+ He tends to fall asleep while a movie is playing
+ He loves to open his window on summer nights and watch the moon and stars
#kokushibo#kokushibou#kokushibo headcanons#kokushibou headcanons#kokushibo modern au#kokushibou modern au#kokushibo kny#kokushibou kny#kny modern au headcanons#kokushibo modern au headcanons#kokushibou modern au headcanons#demon slayer headcanons
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I wanted to ask for curiosity sake BUT!!! What does Lu wear/look like when he’s evolved into a fully fledged Lucario? We’ve seen Eliana but I don’t think we’ve seen him yet, and I’m SUPER interested :O
I’m not great at drawing Pokes besides Eevee (especially from memory) so the one other time I’ve drawn a Lucario recently I decided…not to post it🥲
But! I don’t give Lu enough attention (plus I’ve been meaning to post some more refined sketches of this duo), so…here you go!😊
Team Relic!
I’ve previously shied away from giving them any specific identifying features because I am frankly terrified of unique character design (I’ve never been particularly good at it tbh…I always draw a blank on what I could include that wouldn’t be terribly cliche…all my OCs weep bc of this lol), but I decided to try my hand at it.
Eliana as an Eevee is taller than average, perhaps the greatest indicator of her physical age despite being a first form Pokémon (still tiny tho). Her paws are a darker shade of brown, similar to the tone in the inside of her ears, and instead of having a somewhat coarse, stiff, straight fur like most Eevee, hers is smoother, silkier, and almost curly (to reflect the texture of her hair as a human more closely). Her fur is also a tad longer, so some of these errant cowlicks are visible. She wears the knot of her scarf in the front sometimes because she does (thankfully) have enough dexterity to tie it on her own, but it takes her a while. Most of the time Lu does it for her.
[Lu develops a habit of either smoothing down said curls with his paws or introducing her to the concept of mutual grooming as a response to either of their occasional insomniac episodes or when one of them is anxious, but only in the privacy of their room. Otherwise, he keeps a paw between her shoulder blades under her ruff and strokes the fur under his pads as a self-soothing tactic, such as when running into Team Skull.]
As a Leafeon she grows extra lithe and lanky, so she has a bit of fawn clumsiness at first because she’d gotten so used to her shorter legs. Her nose scar from Grovyle is fully healed by this point, so it’s faded a bit, but she hadn’t been able to see the dead patch of skin where Dusknoir’s Ice Punch frostbit the flesh around her throat and rendered it hairless before, so she wears something over it almost all the time bc she hates the reminder.
[Later on she continues to wear it bc it distresses Dusknoir to see it a whole lot—it’s hard to coax him back from his guilty spirals, so she only goes “naked” when her things need to be washed after exploring.]
[She doesn’t even realize she has to allow herself time to photosynthesize a certain amount of time per day so the first week she couldn’t figure out why she felt so awful until Sunflora pointed out that her ears and tail looked a bit wilted. Sun baths and afternoon naps become a main stay after that point, although Lu does have to occasionally remind her when she starts to feel down without realizing she’d forgotten to do so.]
[She feels a little naked without her ruff because she’d grown the habit of tucking her chin/mouth into it when stressed out, so when she swaps her Guild scarf for a Virid Collar, she’s grateful to have the extra fabric to nuzzle into when she’s overwhelmed.]
[She can also contort into the oddest shapes to sleep. Lu can’t understand it, but it’s because she and Treecko would often have to wedge themselves into crevices and cracks to rest.]
Lu is pretty much your run-of-the-mill Riolu, although he’s a little slimmer and taller with a bit of a longer narrower snout.
However, when he evolves into Lucario, he fleshes out and gets a bit bulkier after all the exploring they’ve done. His chest spike is broken in an accident, and he develops early gray hair along his muzzle (losing your best friend prematurely to sudden vaporization will certainly affect your stress toleration in the long run huh).
[His fur thickens up in the winter and he’s the best to snuggle with, but given the fact that Treasure Town is coastal it rarely actually gets cold enough to last the whole night without having to peel yourself away for a chance to breathe.]
Let me know if there are any other details or questions you wonder about :)
#fisara’s answers#ao3: in the morning light#pokemon#pokemon mystery dungeon#explorers of sky#my art#eevee/eliana#riolu/lu#lucario/lu#leafeon/eliana
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I know it’s been like, the hottest of minutes, but I’d love to hear more about your TC deity au
...whoa greetings there, you're right its been awhile (im even surprised someone remembers it "xD ) Now lemme think about it for a long time
thinking is still in the process but i think I've got something coherent now:
Whats the setting?
A pretty small patch of land. If you stand in the middle of it you'll be able to see its borders on the horizon. Probably 15 km (or 9.3 miles) in radius. Fields, a river, small clumps of trees, forests, many lakes, river hills all around the perimeter. No powerful human technology, small villages of 25 houses, quiet surroundings (idk the specific age but it can be any tbh, TC have been there for a long time before humans anyways) (also this is heavily inspired by the folklore we have here, the general one that is widely known by the public, and the landscape of my homeland)
What are these strange seasons?
There's only 3 guys in Team Canada so i didn't want to use our 4 seasons that we currently have. One season would have been either blank or had another deity and i was like no
Tranquility season is when nature slows down and humans are sitting in their warm homes perfecting their crafts by the heat providers. The season starts with a layer of snow that did not melt the next day after. •(based on the myth of The Bull of Frost that gradually loses its horns one by one and then the head ->) People have a certain myth where The Snow Fox takes off his winter clothes because its getting too close to a warmer season. The winter coat goes first, then his hat. People also say that he takes off his scarf too, but no one saw him without it•
This season is ~5 months long. Cold weather, sometimes powerful winds, a lot of snow
Restoration season is when nature starts to wake up from its long slumber. Lasts for 4 months, from first revealed patches of old grass to mushrooms in the green forests. Weather gets gradually warmer, thunderstorms and crazy cloud formations are not rare
Harvest season is when nature provides with many gifts. Vast spaces of hay grass, field onions, berries and mushrooms of many kinds, fish and wild meat. Humans grow their own gifts as well but not as much as their southern neighbours. Constantly changing weather, many rains, many clear skies
What is a deity?
It's a being that is not the embodiment of the current season but an extension of it, a helpful spirit that takes care of the yearly balance. Humans here have a lot of respect towards them, so in exchange deities provide with nature gifts, fishing and hunting luck, great health for their livestock, etc etc
How do they interact?
Usually, in-between the seasons two deities exchange their news and stories. The seasons do not overlap in three. But their duties are. Sometimes another deity joins the conversation as well
When Etho and Pause meet they are not in their prime. Etho has to uncover his face due to the warm weather and Pause is still in the process of growing his antlers again. They often talk about Beef's hybernation schedule
When Pause and Beef meet they discuss the status of the living beings. Etho is still lurking in the forests but humans are unable to spot him. He sometimes visits the other two
When Beef and Etho meet they talk about the annual races against time. People need to prepare their foods for the long Tranquility season. Sometimes Pause shares information about forest resources and how humans collected them
so thats the current lore i guess xD too much words but hey, i tried my best to compact ^^"
here's the differently worded but with the same information twitter thread. here's the inspiration for this pauses design :D
and heres some of the development doodles i had:
thank you for reading this far lol, means a lot to me :,D
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Hi! Can I request a one-shot of Cassandra with a romantic female reader who crochets stuff for her? So like it’d start with a personalized color scarf then evolve into more difficult things like hats, blankets etc? Lol I crochet and this girl def deserves something nice. Have a nice day!
A/N: Thank you for requesting! This is such a cute idea, I hope you have a nice day as well <33
Pairing: Rise!Cassandra x Fem!Reader
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff
Type: One-shot
Warnings: None
Reader: Female
(Name) had been crocheting a scarf for her girlfriend for quite some time. Winter was coming in fast, and the girl wore such light clothes that (Name) took it upon herself to make something nice for her.
Happy with her creation, she waited for Cassandra to knock down her door to come into her room. After a while, the girl arrived and did exactly that. She was shivering all over the place, but tried to keep up her not bothered attitude. "YOUR GIR--GIRLFRIEND... HAS ARRIVED!" She announced with chattering teeth.
(Name) only giggled and opened her arms from the comfort of her bed, moving aside the blanket so Cassandra could come in. The girl stiffly walked over and laid in her arms. She was very touch starved so she didn't know how to react just yet. (Name) shivered but endured the coldness for the sake of being in her lover's arms, "Welcome back."
After a few minutes of just sharing warmth in a comfortable silence, (Name) spoke up. "I made you something! I hope you like it." She reached over to her drawer, holding up the scarf for Cassandra to see. The girl quickly sat up, eyes wide as she delicately took a hold of the soft fabric. Her face grew red, she didn't really know how to respond and just stared at it. She was new to all this relationship stuff and was never gifted with any presents, so this was a first. Very rarely was Cassandra speechless, so (Name) grew worried.
Was there something wrong with it? Did she not like the color? Maybe- Her thoughts were cut off as Cassandra messily wore the scarf, stuffing her face into the fabric as she mumbled something into it.
(Name) leaned closer to hear the girl, "Hm? I can't hear you..."
Cassandra lowered the scarf from her lips, yelling, "I WILL WEAR THIS, FOREVER!" This took (Name) by surprise. This was the moment she vowed that she would start making more things for her. "I'm glad you like it!" She grinned, feeling giddy from her reaction.
~
After trial and error, (Name) had finally finished crocheting Cassandra a hat and gloves to complete her look with the scarf. Cassandra was secretly ecstatic and frequently wore it on her missions, usually only wearing the scarf because it looked really cool on her and it kept her just as warm. (Name) even made a blanket for her lover, which took about a month to make.
(Name) loved seeing Cassandra's reactions, it motivated her to keep making her gifts just as long as it made her happy. Cassandra is very appreciative of her girlfriend's work, making sure to be careful to keep them from getting dirty or ripped when on her missions. Sometimes she'd even bring back things that she thinks (Name) would like.
"Thank you, (Name)." Cassandra's voice was soft for once. She really meant it. It surprised (Name), but she welcomed it, "Anything for you, Cassey!"
| A/N: It's finished, hurray!! I hope you like it, I had to use a lot of my brain juices |
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Xever/Bradford Headcanons🐕🐟
It always surprised me how they don’t have a lot of ship content considering all the times they’ve interacted and been together. Ngl this is also kind of a rewrite for me, if Xever and Bradford got to develop as better people or atleast got closer and had a closer relationship. I always wished the Foot Clan fostered closer relationship and just hanged out more.
Ship name: Dogfish🐕🐟
Basically an enemies to lover situation. After a while of having to deal with a lot of static in their lives already, decide to try to give each other a little less fuel to the fire, eventually getting to know each other better and falling for each other.
Don't really show alot of their affection in front of the other Clan members and prefer to keep their closer moments to themselves. Though overtime a lot of them began to see something, when they've been less wanting the bite the other’s head off.
They do though act more lovey dovey around Karai to annoy her.
Realized they were getting close when they tried to cover up for each other, even trying to take the blame for a failed mission.
Bradford has a lot of regrets on how he used to be towards Xever. He used to hate his mutation, but at the same time in a way, grateful for the change, as it helped take his ego down and reflect, getting closer to Xever. Overall becoming a mutant brought them together and became a better guy for him.
Bradford REALLY regrets causing Xever's mutation. I can see Brad one night just unable to sleep and just apologizes right on the spot. Xever hold him saying if he can forgive him for almost letting him die(Never Say Xever), he can forgive him too.
Bradford eventually became pretty protective of Xever. A lot of the time for high risk missions, he’d offer to go in place of Xever or atleast go with him. Xever gets annoyed as he doesn’t feel he needs to be protected(but honestly just as worried for Bradford too).
Xever calls Bradford Brad for short or just Chris sometimes and Bradford calls Xever, Xev.
Have to be careful when kissing(u know, poisonous venom).
Sometimes dance together. Xever tends to accidentally step on Brad’s feet, they’re pretty big.
Xever usually does the cooking. Bradford usually has trouble due to his size(and tail hitting or catching unto things). He’s at one point had it set on fire🔥
For winter, Bradford gave Xever a scarf from his own fur to keep him warm. Xever got him a Chris Bradford dog collar. The one time where someone’s happy to wear a dog collar, lol.
Taught each other some of their fighting moves. Train and practice together a lot.
Bradford likes to lick Xever. He's Very ticklish.
Bradford took up Portuguese to impress Xever.
Bradford’s big spoon and Xever little spoon. Basically sleeps on Bradford like a pillow. Bradford’s more than happy to let him rest on him.
When Bradford feels down, Xever let’s him lay on his lap and rubs his head.
Xever's pretty touch starved but at the same time doesn’t like being vulenerable. Bradford usually just waits things out for Xever until he’s done acting tough and let’s him comfort him. The lap lay works for Fish guys too.
One time Xevers robot legs were damaged during a mission and he couldn't walk so Bradford ended up carrying him back. Xever was pretty flustered to say the least.
When they can enjoy taking naps together. On stakeouts take turn shifts. Bradford usually let's Xever sleep a little longer.
Bicker a lot. Usually at the end r just tired and forget what they were even bickering about
If they ended up actually hurt each other, usually have trouble(Bradford) saying sorry. Usually just keep some space until they feel like talking again. Bradfird def used the puppy eyes.
Help clean and patch each other up from missions and Shredder's more violent punishments.
With all the absolute madness going on, they prefer to just keep things simple. Between fighting turtles, evading Master Shredders wrath and everything else the city dumps on them, they just want a few minutes to not have to worry about being killed, mutated again or worse. Plus working in the foot you don't get a lot of time for fancy dates.
They tend to hang out on the rooftop to relax together.
Tend to have a lot of movie nights. Brad almost always picks a movie he was in and he's been in quite a bit. He always gets excited when he sees his debut.
They also enjoy just talking. About their past, now, what could happen. I can see Bradford tell Xever about the Lore of the Footclan and Xever perhaps some interesting stuff about Brazil.
They also watch Bradford’s cartoon series together. Xever laughs at the crazy absurdity of it all.
Likes to cuddle Bradford for warmth, considering all the fur he has. Def misses his first and fluffier mutant form but at least it's easier held hands with.
Xever bruhses’s bradford’s hair to make him feel better.
Xever would've taken Bradford’s death more harshly.
They'd both be conflicted when he's revived. Like yay, they're together again but also his soul was revived by a demon.
Xever would be devastated about Rahzar becoming Kavaxas puppet, losing him again. Perhaps after the incident when Xever renounced the foot for good, maybe he sees Rahzar who somehow crawled back up and decide to leave together. Perhaps eventually they get turned back human
What do u think? Any headcanons u have? I’d love to know💖
#tmnt 2012#xever#bradford#chris bradford#rahzar#fishface#tmnt fishface#tmnt rahzar#dogfish#teenage mutant ninja turtles#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012#Xever montes
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Happy Thanksgiving! (If you celebrate) I am thankful for your writing. 🤗
If you're not sick of writing for Jack yet, lol, how about 13. Making snowmen and 18. "You have snow on your eyelashes, looks cute." for him?
Hope you have a wonderful day filled with lots of good food and company!
A/N: Hello and happy holidays to you too! I hope your day was wonderful too! Thank you for requesting this, anon!
Snowman and Me
Summary: Jack thinks the best way to unwind from a stressful day at your job is to make a snowman.
Warnings: Just some good ol' fashioned fluff
"Why are we out here, Jack?"
"Because you need a relax and unwind for a few hours,"
You followed Jack as he lead you over to the side of your little cottage home, going ankle deep through the snow that just fell last night while the sun was hanging high up in the sky. Thankfully you weren't due to have anymore snow for the next few days, so the fresh snow you were going to have wasn't going to last long.
And apparently Jack saw the opportunity to play in the snow with you.
You both were living in the countryside in England, the closest town was a few miles out so the peace and quiet in the countryside was much needed and something that had healed the pair of you immensely. You both worked remotely and at home, which was perfect since the thought of driving into town daily seemed like a headache. Jack would only go into town for food and supplies, and sometimes meeting up with old friends with you too. But mostly working away on your laptop would be stressful too.
Now that winter was official underway, Jack made sure you both were heavily supplied to last at the cottage for the new few months in case a storm does come through, emergency kits at the ready and generators fueled up. Although it wouldn't be likely this year that you two would be snowed in, Jack wasn't going to take chances.
"Ah, here! This is the prefect spot for a snowman!" Jack said to you as he found the small opening on the side of the house, you grinning as he gestured to the fresh snow around you, "I don't know if you know this, but I can make a decent snowman!"
"Is that so?" You asked, almost in a challenging tone, Jack grinning as he nodded his head, "Well then, let me grab us some supplies from the kitchen than as you make the snowman, okay?"
"You got it, baby," He replied, leaning over to peck you on the cheek before you walked back over to the house. You could hear him behind you padding the snow together in his gloved hand, your smile not leaving your face as the sun was especially warm on your face, even on a cold day. Finally making it to the backdoor the took you in the kitchen, you kicked the snow off your feet and shuffled inside, breathing in the small dutch oven that was keeping your stew warm on the stove top and the small fire that was crackling in the fireplace perched the kitchen.
You loved this home, thinking it was tiny and perfect when you and Jack were looking for a new home to go to. Jack was mostly needing to find a place was a bit out of the way from other people for his transformations, which made the countryside perfect. There was so much space for him to be in that wouldn't be in harsh way. He made plenty of supplies for himself when he would became human again in the morning, extra clothes and food stored in a storage shed outside the home along with a outdoor shower to wash away any grime he would have on him. When you helped build the shed and store his clothes, Jack could only be thankful that you were still with him after all of it, even after being married for a few years.
You grabbed a carrot and a few pieces of coal that was next to the fireplace, stuffing them in your pockets as you then grabbed a spare scarf and one of Jack's hats that he hung on the wall near the backdoor. Everything about this little home seemed very unique, from the old school fireplace to the stovetop that was over 50 years old. But you and Jack loved the charmed of it, the mismatched furniture and the tender walls was almost the mirror of your relationship with Jack.
Which was why you didn't choose to replace anything when you bought the house.
"I was wondering if you were going to love me to do all the work!" Jack said in a chuckle as you were walking back out to him in the clearing, seeing he already made one massive ball and was working on the other one.
"I would never! Though I thought you would be faster and be done by now," You teased, though Jack rolled his eyes as you helped him shape the rest of the snowman, "Being such a hardworking man out here too!"
"Stop it," he said in a snort, though he was grinning from the compliment.
"And you have snow on your eyelashes, looks cute," You teased, though now Jack threw a bit of snow at you as you were placing on the last pieces on the snowman. Jack's hat, the carrot for the nose, and the coal along the front of the body. Walking backwards a bit, you both wrapped one arm around one another and looked at your creation. It was no perfect snowman, but it was simply yours.
Back at your cottage, perched against a magnet on your refrigerator door, was a sonogram with a heart drawn over the tip, the perfect sign of what was to come in your life.
The End.
#jack russell x y/n#jack russell x you#jack russell x fem!reader#jack russell x reader#jack russell#werewolf by night#werewolf by night fanfiction#marvel cinematic universe#marvel fanwriting#marvel fanfiction#mcu writing#mcu fanfiction#mcu phase 4#marvel cinematic fanfiction#marvel cinematic universe fanfiction
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Hmm I wonder how Mama handles the winter visits... as reptiles the boys would naturally be really lethargic and not really wanting to do much or even move after that first big snow day. It's probably why they go all out in the events of Snow Day cuz they know once their done they'll probably crash for a few days or something and going into a pseudo brumation period where they're too tired and unaware of stuff to do anything hut not at a point of falling into actual hibernation or brumation do they're just kinda staring npankly at everything under a heat lamp and sometimes don't even respond when spoken to... (these are my own winter headcanons but feel free to use your own)
Honstly, i'm not sure.
I've been toying with the headcannon that, because of their human dna, they're technically warmblooded, but their body temperature stays lower than a humans and they have a bit more trouble regulating it, especially in the cold. Which gives them more resistance against the cold then a normal turtle would get, but if they stay in the cold for too long they would get pretty lethargic and liable to sleep for the next day or so.
That being said, I think the first time she sees her boys go play in the snow (which she finds very heartwarming and she does take pictures of it) only to come in practically zombies, she would be pretty concerned and immediately herd them to the sun room and make sure they had warm drinks. The sun room definitely helps them perk up faster than they would have normally, but they're still tired throughout the rest of the day (and some of the next.)
Thank you!
aww, she would love that so much! (plus be like "oh so that's where that scarf went."
Thank you!
I don't think they're in on the secret per say. Both of them are pretty distracted with their own things going on (Leo with his consparacy board and Raph with trying to figure out shifting/dealing with resurfacing memories. At least during, what i'm calling the consparacy board arc lol. ie the time Leo's trying to figure out what the hells going on.) So if they did see Donnie's coat do something weird like that, they wouldn't have much of a chance to pester him about why so it would basically jsut be
Leo: Why did your coat just sparkle instead of get slashed by that very sharp knife?
Donnie: Don't worry about it.
Leo: Donnie...
Donnie: I'll tell you later.
Donnie does not tell him later.
So they probably don't know the stuff is mystic until Mikey finds it out (either by Mama complimenting his spell work or Casey Jr appearing and claiming it's the most powerful mystic item the resistance owned.)
Thank you!
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Soft, Warm and Snug | Donny Donowitz x gn!reader
Anonymous asked: This is kind of stupid, but can you write something where the reader knits a blanket for Donny Donowitz and he likes it? I need fluff in my life right now lol. Also, I’ve always been made fun of for knitting and I just want someone to appreciate it 😭 -💜
summary: you've always liked knitting, but it's only when the war ends that you're able to actually sit down and knit something for your boyfriend that isn't all patchwork and mismatched colours.
tws: swearing
Finding wool was a pain in the ass if you were honest, now that the war was won and everyone had gone home, you were left looking for scraps of wool with what you could use to get any; little scraps of money, leftover ration stamps, pieces of fabric or material that you no longer needed. But you did manage to get enough, roughly sizing up how big your boyfriend was before you set to work; he didn't question it a lot, Donny knew you liked to knit and back when you were serving as Basterds, he would sometimes pick a little up here and there. Aldo still wore the scarf you made for him. Wicki still wore the gloves you had knitted. Hugo still had the hat that had taken you much longer than it would have before the war. Of course, all of them were mismatched and patchwork, Donny could never find the same colours reliably; but you were grateful for that, as while Hugo would sharpen knives and Donny would chop wood, you always sat near the fire and knitted with broken needles. It kept morale up, and it kept you busy; it kept your mind away from the horrors you would eventually see and had already seen.
Even now, if you had a sleepless night, tortured by the things you had seen and had witnessed others do, you would sit down and you would knit to keep your mind off of it; you got bored with making socks and hats, though, and you decided that you would knit Donny a blanket. Sure, it was still summer and the days were hot and humid and the nights were much the same, it was too hot to use blankets, but you wanted to do something nice for him; it took you ages to gather up enough wool of the same colour, and it took you a good while to knit it, but when you had it finished, you could not have been prouder. It was green, the type of green that reminded you of the stems of daffodils, of the bushes and trees that surrounded the houses near the water and the bridge, of the grass amongst the mountains and the fields where the adders basked in afternoons. You hoped he would like it.
For days, you kept the blanket folded up in the spare bedroom, hidden away amongst yours and Donny's uniforms and the medals and the diaries and just about everything else you had brought back; you kept it beneath his uniform, waiting for the end of the week. When it rolled around, though, you were more than nervous; sitting on the sofa with it on your lap, bouncing your leg and smoking too many cigarettes until he came home, running a hand through his hair and smiling tiredly at you. The only work he could get was at his father's barbershop, and the days were long, but he always managed to smile when he came home to see you.
"Hey, baby," you smiled, waiting for him to sit down before you shifted in your seat and cleared your throat, putting the blanket in his lap. "I, uh... I know it's summer and it's a bit hot for it, but uhm, I made you a blanket."
Unfolding it, Donny laughed as he looked over it, running his hands down the soft and warm wool before turning to you with a grin. "It's fuckin' amazin'!"
You raised your brows, hopeful and optimistic. "Yeah?"
"Yeah!" He chuckled, dropping it in his lap and cradling your face in his hands so that he could kiss you, all excitement and eagerness so obvious that it couldn't be missed.
He loved it. He loved that it reminded him of winter baseball fields, and that it felt like the blanket his father used to put around his shoulders when it was cold, he loved that it was warm as the kitchen on days when his mother cooked, he loved that it was big enough to snuggle into, he loved it. The colour was his favourite thing about it, though; calling his mind back to messing around with his friends in the middle of the night, sneaking out to sit in the park where the green metal bench was, where he had carved his and his friends' initials into it when they were teenagers. He loved it, and he was going to make it known, determined to make it known.
"It's so fuckin' perfect," Donny breathed out, admiring it yet again when he looked down at it on his lap, running his fingers across it time and time again, grinning like he had been given the best news of his life, so gentle when he touched it as if it meant everything in the world to him. "So fuckin' perfect..."
"I'm glad," you laughed softly, daring to rest your hand on his shoulder. "You like the colour, though, right? It took me ages to find and-"
"The colour is fuckin' brilliant," he admitted, daring to steal another kiss. "Really, (y/n), it's amazing."
"I can make you another, if I can get my hands on some more wool," you shrugged.
"Would you, uh..." he scratched the back of his neck as he blushed a little. "Would you be able to make me some socks?"
You nodded, all too eager. "Yeah! Of course!"
You were sick and tired of knitting socks, if you were honest, but the look in those big brown eyes made you fall for it, grinning and stealing another kiss.
if you liked this fic, REBLOG IT - you SHOULD reblog it; spam likers WILL be blocked. as will blogs that refuse to reblog or to give feedback. if you don't wanna reblog, then you'll get blocked; reblogging is the BARE MINIMUM. don't just "like", REBLOG
#mlem writes#donny donowitz one shot#donny donowitz imagine#donny donowitz x reader#donny donowitz#inglourious basterds x reader#inglourious basterds imagine#inglourious basterds#inglorious basterds x reader#inglorious basterds imagine#inglorious basterds#eli Roth#eli roth x reader#eli roth imagine
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3:18am (BST) 14th december 2023
i met my ex for coffee today. the nice one, not the ones from school. it was good to see him. we were never really meant to be - but we work great as friends. he's kind. he sees with eyes and a mind that no one else i know does. he understands so deeply - and yearns to if he doesn't. he has piercing blue eyes and curly ginger hair that never really knows what it's doing. turns out we've been in the same city at uni for over a year now. his ears are pierced now. he has a cool green paisley sort of silk scarf. with that and his coat off he looks just the same as i knew him before though.
we broke up because my grandfather died. i didn't know how to deal with it. i already had bad mental health issues. it broke me a bit. a lot. once i went to this christian youth festival with my youth group and this kid a year younger than me said that i would undergo transformation, specifically like the art of kintsugi. you know, that japanese thing where they fix broken pots and stuff with liquid gold? my cracks and breaks would be sewn together with gold, they said. they didn't lie - i don't think.
i think the first evidence of that was when my grandad died. through my cracks and grief, a burning passion leaked through and made me stand up for myself for the first time. i realised the relationship wasn't right for me - it just immediately felt wrong, like a skin i had to shed or i'd have to live in it forever. mind you, i didn't deal with it right, i didn't have the wisdom or courage that i do now. not that i'm wise, or courageous. i changed my clothes too. my birthday rolled around and my now-partner gave me an amazon gift card so i bought the cheapest makeup i could find. i went thrifting and bought clothes that make me feel like a human being (and maybe a little bit cool).
that didn't help my mental health though - it didn't make it worse - but it didn't like, improve things. i was still a mess. i still drank at school for the next year and a half. i didn't trust anyone. i still don't trust anyone. i'd like to. my ex didn't see me much at all after we broke up. we met up for coffee after 5ish months... and then i ghosted him (again) (having just told him i'd be up for being friends). yeah not a great move morally. still keeps me up at night sometimes.
my partner didn't mind us meeting for coffee today (boyfriends sometimes do apparently). he didn't really show any opinion. he doesn't often, without me begging for it a bit. i ask the question 3 times for a response, you stare vacantly at me, fake an answer, i ask if you're sure. repeat. so yeah - i did miss my ex. i missed connection and a friend and things to talk about. he was always good to talk to. empathy levels off the charts. don't worry, i'm not gonna try and go back to him - i don't want to. i just need friends, and he's a good one. and my relationship isn't as bad as i make it sound lol but my boyfriend does know i'm not happy in it right now.
i did other things today too. i went pottery painting with the art society. one of the things i painted is for my sister. i hope she likes it. no idea if she will though. i got a sports bra from a charity shop (it's really comfy). i got a turtleneck from another charity shop (i've been really wanting one to wear under dresses [summer dresses can be for winter too]). and i got some uniqlo sports leggings from another reallllyyyy good charity shop. very good price (£6!!!!!! in 2023??? crazytown). i've been wanting to try and exercise a bit. for my brain more than for my body.
i should go to bed now. woke up at 10am this morning but now it's 3am. oh i did yoga too!! just felt like it. i have a creaky unused lil conker of a skeleton. she needed stretching wayyyy more than i realised. it was supposed to be relaxing meditation yoga but it make me a bit more stressed bc i couldn't stretch ffs. was fun anyway. it was for me. today was for me. it was taylor swifts birthday too today the swift society had a birthday party lol. it was fun. i made a terrible friendship bracelet with my own name on it. i won a prize. i was first on the kahoot for a bit. i'm not even that much of a swiftie. i think a girl flirted with me a tiny bit there? idk she probably didn't but i hope i'm right. i hope. i have hope right now. today was for me. night night.
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1. "I know it's winter, but you don't have to act so cold!" (Kaveh/Alhaitham)
DISCLAIMER: take this however you like romantic or platonic idc I'm just here to write
▪︎ 556 words because I wrote this at 2am and I'm slepy
▪︎umm cw// cursing and this is fluff i think
▪︎this is boring tbh it's just them fighting and complaining
▪︎I did not proofread who does that lol
"It's so cold here! My face feels so dry and flaky.." Kaveh complained while walking through the night streets with none other than his roommate, Alhaitham.
"You insisted on coming here for the holidays. Deal with it." "Hey, I know it's winter, but you don't have to act so cold!" The blonde rolled his eyes before he blowing and rubbing his frosty hands together.
"I'm not 'cold.' I'm simply stating the obvious. As a matter of fact, this weather is perfectly fine."
"Fine?! What part of this weather is fine?! We are out in the dark, brutal, cold, shivering, lonely, night and in addition, we come from a hot, dry region for fuck's sake!"
"It's not my fault that you aren't used to the cold. Maybe you should go out more instead of shutting yourself in either hammering on your never-ending projects or drinking."
Wherever they are, Kaveh and Alhaitham were always bound to argue about even the smallest, irrelevant thing you could think of. Some would say they're like cats and dogs. Others would say they're like oil and water. But despite their attitudes against each other on the surface, people who really knew them would know that deep down.. they truly care for each other. It was just a matter of Kaveh's anger issues and Alhaitham's bluntness.
"You- It's only because I- Ugh. Whatever. I'm tired of fighting with you." Kaveh crossed his arms as he seemingly walks a bit faster. "Let's just go home and get this over with. I'm freezing my nails off right now."
Alhaitham noticed his change of speed and quickened his pace to catch up with him. He unwrapped his scarf and handed it over to Kaveh. "Here."
"What? I don't need that-" "You clearly do."
Kaveh still felt a bit grumpy but took it anyways and mumbled. "Thanks.. I guess.."
It was a silent but somehow a rather comforting walk. Kaveh glances over at the taller, half-amazed at how he handled the temperature well, but also noticed his slightly rosy cheeks. "Hey, aren't you cold? I mean, I know you're used to it or whatever but you seem like you're still freezing.."
Alhaitham met his gaze and replied, "I would be lying if I said it's colder now but it's not that big of a deal. I'd rather freeze my brains off than hear you complain anyways."
"Tsk, you seriously-!"
"And also, I don't want you to get sick."
Kaveh's eyes slightly widened. He sometimes forgot that even when they get into disputes, Alhaitham was still someone who cared about him. "I-I see.. you didn't really have to though."
"No, I had to. Otherwise, you'd be complaining about being sick."
"I don't complain that much, shut up!"
Alhaitham lifts his eyebrows. "Really now? There was one time you complained about the rain wetting your laundry again even though I had already informed you beforehand that it'd rain that day. There was another time you complained about how hot the weather was, oh unironically like how you're complaining about how cold it is now. And on another-"
"OKAY OKAY SHUT UP FINE I COMPLAIN A LOT, HAPPY?" the architect explodes.
"No, I'm not necessarily happy with your complaints-"
Alhaitham pauses as he noticed Kaveh brisk walking away from him while he also flips him off.
"Heh, typical." The Akademiya's scribe sighs as he watches Kaveh fade into the distance.
#genshin impact#genshin imagines#genshin scenarios#genshin kaveh#alhaitham#genshin alhaitham#kaveh#kavehaitham#genshin#sumeru#fluff#genshin fluff#fanfic#fandom
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Hi there! Could I request some DNA headcanons for Hongou, Miyuki, and Harada with a shy and demure female S/O who loves to knit? She always has a project going on and often brings her knitting with her in a spare bag so she can knit at bus stops and what not. Thank you in advance!
Hongou Masamune
A shy and demure partner would be fine with him, he’d even like it because he’s a pretty dominant guy and he likes being the one to protect you.
However, he would probably lose interest fast in someone who just says yes to everything he says and never challenges him in any way. Challenge here doesn’t mean fight with him, or argue or even necessarily stand up to him. He just can’t tolerate a complete doormat, or who has zero independence and is too clingy.
This boy is 100% independent. He’s grouchy and impatient, so someone who is too sensitive probably wouldn’t work. He’s waaaaay softer with you than everyone else, but he is still who he is.
As I said, he’s a protective one, especially if his partner is shy. No one’s pushing your boundaries when this boy is around. He’ll crush the person flat. Definitely gets into trouble for fighting lol
Likes to watch you knit. He likes that you have something you love too. Doesn’t even mind if you just knit at his games or practices. As long as he can see you and you smile at him a couple of times, he’s good. He’d rather you be content than bored out of your mind.
Has to be coerced into wearing what you make most of the time (if you make clothing). Not because he doesn’t like it, he absolutely does, and if you give him something you make, he’ll be boiling on the inside and blushing on the outside – though he’ll deny it until he’s blue in the face. He just hate being challenged by his teammates about things like this, and they all know that any knitted products he wears came from you and proceed to tease him about.
May grumble and scowl, but everyone knows his winter hat, scarf, gloves and socks were made by you, and he’s proud to wear them.
Miyuki Kazuya
I hope you have fortitude. Doesn’t mind if your shy and demure, even likes it, because he could use quiet peace in his life. However, he will tease and he loves seeing you blush so watch out for that.
Is never mean like he sometimes is with his teammates. His teasing is soft and only a touch prickly. Most of the time, even while you are blushing, you are warm and giggly after too.
Respects you like the knitting boss you are. If it’s post-high school, his favorite times are when he’s home early for the day, or has the day off, and gets to cook for you while you sit in the kitchen with him and knit. It’s very domestic for him, which is important because he hasn’t had much of that in his life.
Wears anything you make, anything. Does not care what it looks like, he preens while wearing it. It’s basically to the point where his teammates don’t even bother to mention it anymore, because he just takes everything they say as a compliment, no matter what they were trying to mock about it. Usually it’s color though, because he has no fashion sense and will wear whatever color he’s snagged – neon pink, olive green, brown, bright blue, sunshine yellow, if you made it, he’s wearing it.
Part of it is because he loves the look on your face when he wears something of yours, and the pretty blush you sport. Can’t resist giving you a kiss or two though. Another part is that he’s not generally one for PDA, especially if it embarrasses you, so wearing things made by you is a good alternative.
Make him something not clothing, like a little plush or figure? It sits on his desk in a place of pride. Make him a blanket? He’s using it at every opportunity, including every night.
Mostly though, since he’s a hat-guy, he has like 27 different hat’s you made and wears them according to his mood that day.
Harada Masatoshi
Shy and demure is PERFECT for him. He has to deal with Mei all day and after that, he really appreciates someone who knows the value of quiet.
Is happy with whatever level of contact you are comfortable with. Never pushes you for anything and will generally ask to kiss or touch you unless you tell him you don’t need him to. Is very sensitive to your needs and appreciates you a lot.
One of his favorite things is to have you in his lap while you knit. Sometimes he’s doing his own thing, other times he watches you work. It amazes him that you can make such tiny loopd and that you can take a ball of yarn and turn it into something lovely.
Loves it when you make him sensible things. Everything you make is nice and well-crafted. And warm, if it’s meant to be. Plus, Mei gets jealous every time he shows up with something new, so it’s win/win in his books.
Probably sends things you made back to his parents lol
If you want to talk about your projects, he’s all ears. He may not understand everything, but he’s attentive. Knows most of the vocabulary by now. Karlos asked him once how he didn’t die of boredom and the outfielder was running for the rest of practice and into the night. No one dared to say anything about your hobby after that.
He’s gentle and attentive and doesn’t demand you come to his games, though it makes him happy every time you do. If you knit the entire time, he respects that, because he also knows you are paying attention. You made an effort to learn about his sport too.
Really appreciates the hats and scarves when he is drafted by Hokkaido.
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