espresso ; LN4
pairing(s) ; lando norris x fem driver!reader
summary ; in which yn says fuck it and drops a song while soft launching her (possibly problematic) relationship
warnings ; flufffffff & like one mention of christian horner (🤮)
note ; i apologise for the one post in here where i basically just fan girl over ria but who wouldn’t. +this is pretty long and i got lazy towards the end and couldn’t be bothered making team announcement posts lol
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youruser my give a fucks are on vacation 😝 espresso is YOURS!!! tonight after i demolish these old men 🫶
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user1 oh she is HER
lilymhe WIFFEEEEE
youruser AHHHHH IMMA MARRY YOU
alexalbon …i’m right here??
lilymhe IRRELEVANT
user2 I NEED IT NOW
bestfriend MY GIRLLLL‼️‼️💓💓💓💓
youruser I LOVEEE YOUUUUU
user3 i say we wave the chequered flag early so we get espresso now
landonorris ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
bestfriend lmfao
youruser 🧡
user4 EXVHSE ME?????????
user5 i love how she just disses half the grid and then just calls it a day
maxfewtrell helllll yeah
user6 maybe she’s never on the podium because she focuses more or singing than racing
user7 or because she’s in a fucking ALPINE
user8 y’all were SILENT when lh44 released music but suddenly it’s a problem when y/n does it
maxverstappen im not that old
youruser yeah okay grandpa
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youruser i kissed @bestfriend in the club bathroom
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user1 IS THAT A MANNNN
youruser i sincerely apologise 😔
user2 guys do we think that’s mr espresso
bestfriend KISS ME AGAIN, FUCK *****
youruser omg don’t expose him😭
youruser but hell yeah come here gf😻😻😘
estebanocon my f1 teammate or my fav singer ?
youruser me when i’m both
user3 THE INITIAL NECKLACE ????? L?????
user4 omg y/n’s boyfie driving a mercedes ??? Y/N TO MERCEDES 2024‼️‼️‼️‼️
maxverstappen1 stream espresso
bestfriend yasss grandpa !!!
maxverstappen1 omg i try to do one thing nice and suddenly i’m catching strays
user5 IM WORKING LATTEEEEE CAUSE IM A SINGGERRRRR OH HE LOOKS SO CUTEEEEEE WRAPPED ROUND MY FINGEERRRRR
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landonorris can’t sleep
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user1 “SAY YOU CANT SLEEP BABY I KNOW THATS THAT ME ESPRESSO” LANDO NORRIS WHAT ARE YOU SAYING
user2 THE SOFT LAUNCH IN THE SECOND PIC TOO OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING
user3 oh hes definitely always streaming espresso
maxverstappen1 what kind of thirst trap post is this mate
landonorris for her eyes only😁
bestfriend but you posted on the main ?
youruser UHM
youruser 💓💓💓💕🧡💘🖤💖🩷💞💙💗🖤💗🩷💝🩷❤️💕💚����🩷💕💜💖🖤❣️🩷💕❤️💜🤍💚🩷🧡🩵💛🤍🧡❤️💕💛💚💕💘🩷💞❤️💜💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
landonorris what happened to the soft launch baby
youruser you’re too hot i need people to know your MINE😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😘😘😘💓💓
youruser do you think about me every night😁😁😝
user4 oh she’s gone insane
user5 THE EMOJIS IM PISSING MYSELF SOMEONE SEDATE HER
bestfriend girl get UP
bestfriend what have you done to my gf
landonorris MYYYYY girlfriend🥰🥰🥰🥰
bestfriend bite me bitch
bereal !
caption: my two fav f1 drivers (excluding estie ofc🫶)
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youruser unfortunately, i was too hot for the car this week, we’ll get those old men next week 🫶
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user1 SHES FUCKING HILARIOUS
user2 maybe if she stopped making music and focused more on racing she wouldn’t have dnfed
landonorris the car had a issue with its breaks ? how was she gonna fix that. explain quick pls coz you’re an expert
user3 LANDO DEFENDING HER IMMA SOB
bestfriend babe you need a car that can handle hot sexy you are 😫😫 i don’t wake up at 3am on a monday morning to watch you nearly die 😝
youruser my sincerest apologies ma’am 🫡
bestfriend i love you tho🫶🫶
youruser if you really loved me you’d come to the race next week ??
youruser WAS I JUST AIRED
lilymhe we’ll ignore this week !! podium coming next week for my girl i can feel it
youruser 💓💓
user4 i can’t believe her and lando are dating, so unprofessional
landonorris GAHHHH I LOVE YOUUUUU
youruser STOP IT ILL CRY 💞💞💞 MY LOVE🥰
user5 surely her dating an opponent is bad for business
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landonorris apparently is bad for business? sorry y/n/n’s pr team ig 🙏🤷♂️ but stream my girl’s new song‼️‼️
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youruser RIAAAAAAAA
user1 two tit pics in a row omg !?
youruser BABY IVE MISSED YOU COME SEE ME
landonorris 💓💓
youruser GIRL NO I WAS TALKING TO RIA SKRJSKJDJFKS
riabish STOP I LOVE YOU
landonorris wtf😭😭😭
user2 if ria has 0 fans, y/n is dead
youruser RIA PLS COME TO THE NEXT RACE I AM BEGGINGGGGGGGG
youruser make up some sort of reason and pretend quadrant need to come but then i’ll send you (and only you😉) an alpine pass 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
riabish my boss hasn’t planned a quadrant race visit for a couple more races babe😔
youruser JUST SENT YOU FLIGHT DETAILS ILL PICK YOU UP FROM THE AIRPORT WITH YOUR PADDOCK PASS
riabish MARRY ME
youruser FUCK YES AJDKSJAHHAHAH
landonorris guys i think i just lost my gf on a post i made dedicated to her
youruser yeah but you posted a pic of ria, so who was i actually paying attention to ??
youruser i love you so so sooooo much (im actually talking to you this time)
landonorris luv u 2 i guess
youruser nah wtf boutta unrelease this song
user3 what did we just witness
estebanocon you guys are insane
user4 omg bad for business is another banger
user5 when y/n can’t choose between f1 and singing so she just fucking EATS both
maxfewtrell when you ask y/n about her fav quadrant member and you expect her to say lando but you’re stupid and it’s ria without second thought
youruser you’re a close second place max🫶
landonorris wtf am i?? chopped liver?????
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landonorris & youruser added to their story
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youruser alpine ❤️ all 4 years that i’ve spent in formula 1 have been spent at this team and i now call everyone at the headquarters, garages, and races, family. thank you to everyone who’s made an impact to my life in any kind of way no matter how big or small, i appreciate it more than you will ever know. @estebanocon, thank you for being the best teammate i could ever ever everrrr ask for, you have grown with me and taught me so so many things. we’ve shared more laughs than probably any other teammates and moving to different teams will definitely not stop that.
there’s still the rest of the year until the end of this era and i know we’ll make the most of it. i’ll always remember alpine as the team that brought me in and made me the woman that i am today. the end of this season will definitely be tough but if it wasn’t sad then it would mean there was nothing to miss.
let’s have an amazing rest of the year, i love alpine and will never forget the time ive spent here 💙🩷💙🩷
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user1 IM SOBBING
user2 omg she loves alpine so much this is devastating why would they not re-sign her😭😭😭😭😭
user3 they couldn’t afford to re-sign both her AND esteban, mercedes offered her A LOT more money
landonorris so so so proud of you my love 💓💓
youruser 🫶🧡🧡
f1 never forget the first alpine driver line up after renault… keep pushing y/n!!
user4 ohhh she’s gonna EAATTT at mercedes
estebanocon going to send a mor private text to you now but thank you for everything y/n/n 🩷💙 (you’re also my favourite f1 driver)
lewishamilton ❤️❤️
lilymhe 💓
user5 omg the y/n to merc rumours were true
user6 it’s not even been confirmed yet lmfao for all we know she could’ve just got sacked by alpine and no one wants to pick her up
bestfriend soooo proud of you my girl 💞💞💞💞
riabish prouder than words can explain 🫶
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youruser HE FUCKING DID IT !!:!;&/&”!/!;”929/ MY BOYFRIEND IS A RACE WINNER AND IM SOBBING OMG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH LOOK HOW HAPPY😁
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user1 GIRL F1 AND MERCEDES JUST ANNOUNCED YOUR MOVE AND YOURE POSTING THIS LMFAOOO
landonorris WE DID IT BABY AHHHSHDHHAKA
youruser YOU DID IT MY LOVEEDJJRKEKR💓💓💓🧡💓🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🥰🥰😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰😻😻😻😻😻
user2 she’s so funny for just ignoring her merc move announcement 😭😭 she dgaf
user3 boyfie WON she doesn’t give a shit about mercedes rn, give her like 24 hours
bestfriend does this mean i can’t call him no wins anymore
riabish right!?? like, the one gp we go to and he has to go and steal our focus from our girl coz we gotta care about him at least a little bit
bestfriend exactly.. he’s so selfish like wtf
landonorris im so very very sorry
user4 FINALLYYYYYY
maxfewtrell 🧡🧡
youruser guys yes i know they announced my mercedes move! why are y’all acting like you didn’t know about it last week tho😭 i saw the tweets
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So. On the topic of Alastor headcannons. What's your opinion on these radio themed ones:
Alastor has an internal radio. Like the concept of having songs play through your head, but more literal. He can tune to stations as if he was a radio himself. And if he really wants to, he can connect himself to other radios in his immediate vicinity and play that music though them instead.
His antlers help his radio powers. So when they get damaged (in battle, sheds them, whatever reason you wanna put here) his internal radio goes bazerk. Think; flipping stations randomly, connecting to other radios when he doesn't want it to, playing loud static at random. All the chaos.
He can hear through other radios. He once had to listen to Vox playing Barbie Girl through a TV right next to a radio in Vox's studio, for a week straight. Surely enough; Barbie Girl is now banned from all radio stations in hell.
What do you think? I got more like these if you like them. Give me a generic topic and I can probably list several under that category.
OHH RADIO HEASCANONS
Yes, but he also can turn it on and off when he needs
Never thought about it, but it's funny (don't think i'm going to use it anywhere but who knows, maybe i'll make some funzies with that)
Pretty much used it in one my comic slihdsdkjfh +headcanon that Vox taught him that, he also can control when and which radio he wants to listen (or his head would be a horrible mess) ut i like headcanon that he has some songs banned on the radio lol
speaking of other radiostations, i actually made an instruction on How To get Your Own Radio Station In Hell, let me just find it real quick... i wanted to share it long ago, but couldn't find a moment
Imagine you're a normal sinner in hell, who suddenly wants to become radio host for one small station. and it's possible! and you won't even die, and get some benefits, if succeed. So, it's kinda hard, but doable
1. You need to write a letter asking for a permission to have your own station to The Radio Demon himself.
a) letter should be handwritten, and your handwriting must be at least readable. Or you can use typewriter, if you find one. DO NOT write it on a computer and then print, you'll probably won't be able to get your station in following 50 years
b) You should send your letter via post. DO NOT try to meet Radio Demon in person, you'll just lose time, or even if you get lucky, he won't take your letter.
b*) Now you can just come to Hazbin Hotel and give your letter to Charlie Morningstar and ask her to give it to Radio Demon. Don't worry, she won't read it.
b**) You should leave your contacts, that's obligatory if you want to get an answer - that means you have to have a place to live.
c) Do not try to e-mail him, he doesn't even have a phone or computer to receive it. If someone gives you 100% totally real Radio Demon's e-mail - don't trust them, its fake
2. You'll get answer from the Radio Demon in 1-2 weeks, he'll send you set of papers which you have to fill out. You'll probably have to do it 3-4 times so don't worry, he's just testing your dedication. In these papers you give general info about your future radio station - the name, schedule, what activities you'll gonna have and what kinds of music wanna play. Include some jazz, especially if you mostly want to have modern music. You'll also have to tell a bit about yourself. You absolutely should not be connected to voxtech in any way.
2.b) he may simply dislike your ass and become a real bureaucratic monster. Keep trying - you can impress him with you dedication and he may like you in the end
3. When you got your application approved, you'll have to sign a contract, that gives you right to broadcast on a certain radio frequency. According to the contract - your radio station belongs to the Radio Demon, you'll just getting it in unlimited use, until the contract terminated. You DO NOT sell your soul to the Radio Demon. He can broadcast over you any time he needs and you can't do anything about it. He can also ask you to change something in your broadcast schedule, ask to replace of cancel any of your programs, ban music and so on. (Tho, he probably won't do anything of it). But since your radio station is his property, you're as well under his protection while you on your station, so if someone attacks you and you're unable to protect yourself and your station, you'll have a way to contact him and ask for help. You'll have a specific channel for it and list of morse codes for emergencies. You should not use this channel for anything else, or you'll lose your station.
4. After all paperwork is done and approved, you have to get equipment for your station. DO NOT use ANYTHING voxtech related, and you absolutely cannot have TV on your station.
5. After you got all the equipment, invite the Radio Demon to your station. He'll set everything up for you and give you list of emergency codes. Do not try to interrupt his infodumps even if you lost track of it and can't understand shit, it's better if you show enthusiasm.
6. And done! Now you are happy small radio host! The Radio Demon may show up on your station sometimes to check how everything's going, but don't worry about it, he won't be bother you too often after few weeks.
P. S. You are NOT friends with the Radio Demon, even if he acts friendly and calls you "dear" - that's just his normal, not-threatenning behavior
P. P. S. Don't be too personal, don't dump on him your problems if they aren't related to the station when he comes to you. Just make him some coffee, talk about weather and tell that everything works just fine
P. P. P. S. ABSOLUTELY! DO NOT! TRY TO HUG HIM! He'll just laugh at you, and if you somehow succeed he'll make everything to make you regret every action in your life and afterlife that led you to this moment (and it doesn't necessarily means he will torture you physically, once he run into masacistic freak that got a boner when was tortured)
P. P. P. P. S. If you caught feelings for him - suffer in silence and NEVER try to confess. You'll lose your station immediately and will never get it back.
All these instructions are totally written by Rosie who heared so many complaints from Alastor about how people want to become a radio host but can't do it properly
And Alastor is probably making them experience what he went through to become a radio host in life
GOD, TUMBLR WHY UR SUCH AN ASS TODAY WTF LET ME JUST POST MY SILLY TEXT
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