really love characters who have varied panic responses. kirk stating himself that he does not panic outright, externally, not in high-stress dangerous situations, but instead becomes tense and level like a wound string, on-guard: mostly because his role as captain necessitates that he maintain level rationality even when facing potential death as his training as 'the guy who tells you what to do when shit hits the fan' requires, but also because his childhood experiences taught him early that drowning in the desperate haziness of panic won't help you survive. especially as kirk already follows his intuition so deeply. he learned to grasp and contort the feeling. spock is the main person who represses his emotions, of course, but kirk does it to those deep-set, personal ones (this includes how he doesn't reveal anything truly personal about himself willingly 90% of the time, only what others already know/shallow anecdotes) in a much more subtle way that's really interesting to me. certified expert at avoiding the subject as long as he isnt caught out on the lie. professional bluffer.
in terms of past or parents we dont know much!!! hes known as the heart-on-his-sleeve guy!!! like yes he yells, he gets irritated, excited, hes a whirlwind of quick-thinking and plans and intuition, he goes out of his way to connect with his crew and shows it, when he puts on a little act or bluff he puts his heart into it and clearly enjoys the dramatics so much, at times he wears his heart on his sleeve, he laughs openly and is honest to spock about what he means to him, he's very sun-coded to me in a burning, passionate way, always intertwined with the stars and seeking them out, but when it comes to genuine deep-set turmoil? we dont actually know all that much about him??? hes so full of emotion and character (i love fics where spock characterises jim's mind/bond as a whirl of colour and sensations, hes a quick thinker!!! intuitive!! lively!!!) and yet its still so outwardly surface level. tarsus iv gets mentioned like twice? so especially here where kirk gets briefly jumpscared by the creature, because like:
its subtle but his eyes. his eyesss!!!!! kirk commands with his emotions but there's always some sort of level of control to it, or he transforms them into something that spurs on others or uses them to ascertain a goal: seeing unguarded fear/distress in his eyes even if its faint and brief (in this instance) makes me go insane every single time. like!!! its such a small moment!!! he isnt even panicking!!! really, he just got jumpscared!!! its insignificant!!!!!!! but seeing a two-second flash of actual, naked apprehension is just...oughhh,,,,,,,,,
oh god, and dont even get me started on the galileo seven episode where he assumes a tense level-headedness throughout the whole thing, irritated and apprehensive but not panicking, making sure he maintains intelligent rationality, even when he has to leave them behind, but when spock and the crew are confirmed safe and the bridge is occupied the camera pans to him and his eyes look like they're fucking watering and he's so achingly relieved. don't even talk to me. im. fuck.
he shows so so much but at the same time reveals so little.
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having read nearly all of the Jeeves short stories, it’s so funny to me that Bertie’s bisexuality manifests as casting a wide but shallow net at girls and a narrow but ridiculously deep net at men. He thinks girls are pretty on a reasonably frequent basis, and has tried to marry at least four women thus far (not counting the unwanted engagements), but when it doesn’t work out he’s over it in 24 hours. Meanwhile he shows absolutely no interest in and never gives flattering depictions of 99% of the men in his life, but will praise Jeeves to anyone who will listen, wax poetic about his appearance (and get defensive on his behalf about it when a child insults it), and is absolutely inconsolable when they are separated.
(also Bertie is in no way allosexual. he is canonically terrified at the thought of reproducing. and due to the narrow but deep net on the other end I don’t imagine he’s going around sleeping with loads of men, either. that man’s either demi as hell or just entirely ace)
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I could talk for hours about how genius seasons 4 and 5 of wwdits are like actually. Like yeah they have problems and s3 is still better but y'all (mostly twt, tumblr is a little better) are sleeping on some of the show's best and most profound moments because they didn't have the wish fulfillment of a fanfic
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"15 Minutes - a John x Reader mini playlist"
(for my fic of the same name)
"Someone To You" - Banners
I just want to be somebody to someone
I never had nobody and no road home
I wanna be somebody to someone
"Love Me Like You Do" - Tanner Patrick
Yeah, I'll let you set the pace
'Cause I'm not thinking straight
My head's spinning around, I can't see clear no more
What are you waiting for?
"Silhouette" - Aquilo
The devil's on your shoulder, the stranger's in your head
As if you don't remember, as if you can forget
It's only been a moment, it's only been a lifetime
But tonight you're a stranger
Some silhouette
"Don't Give Up On Me" - Andy Grammer
I'll reach my hands out in the dark
And wait for yours to interlock
I'll wait for you
"Here With Me" - Robot Koch ft Susie Suh
Caught in the riptide
I was searching for the truth
There was a reason
I collided into you
~💖~
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Please wish me luck everyone. In about 3 hours, I will be taking the final exam I have to take for my grad program, and if I pass it, I will officially be done with the program and will be able to apply for graduation.
I’m very nervous since usually I’m really good at test taking, but it’s been over a year since I last actually took a class for my program (I’ve been working on my final project and my internships for the past year and change), so a lot of this stuff is very fuzzy for me, since my memory sucks. Plus, my program was… not great. They had no lectures, all book learning, and I’m not great with book learning. I passed the classes, but none of them had exams. Just papers, which are much easier for me to do. I took a few practice tests and I routinely got between 65%-70% of the questions right. Which is… not great. I have studied, but I only really was able to study for the past week, since before that I had my internship and work to worry about.
But!!! I’m hoping that all will go well here. I’ve been working towards my master’s and school counseling credential for about two and a half years now. I started August 2021. And if I fail? I’ll just have to pay the $130 and retake the test later. Which will suck, but at least it will be like a practice test, yeah? And I’ll know exactly how the test is formatted, so it would be easier.
Anyway, sorry for rambling, I’m very nervous. Wish me luck!!!!!
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