me when I see jaguar warrior garbs in ur artstyle

/ My honest reaction:

@koko-loko @zeldaisapuppy

Im gonna see if i can remember how everyone dies in the second arc of the self aware au and (attempt?) to put them in chronological order. Here we go

BIG BIG TWS FOR LIGHT GORE DESCRIPTION, SUICIDE, AND GENERALLY KINDA BRUTAL DEATHS JESUS CHRIST WHAT WAS ALL THIS

Lilia, Sebek, Silver + Staff + Grim: Killed before Player's kidnapping for use in ritual

Ortho: Destroyed by Cater for trying to stop the ritual

Jack, Epel, Ace, Deuce, Ruggie: Killed and shelled in order to be controlled by Malleus's thorns

Leona: Thrown off high ledge by Vil

Vil: Forced to stab himself with glass shards by Jamil

Rook: Impaled by Jamil for trying to save Vil

Jamil: Turned catatonic via glass box by Idia

Riddle: Dismembered by thorn trap

Trey: Brains blown out by Azul for attacking Player

Kalim: Tossed into a crowd of thorn-filled mob students by Azul after attempting to kill Player

Azul: Failed to escape thorn students shortly after killing Kalim

Cater: Shot by Idia

Jade, Floyd: Tortured to death via thorns by Malleus in the mirror chamber

Player: Impaled with glass shards and decapitated(?) by Malleus

Malleus: Sliced in half via chainsaw by Idia

Idia: Ripped to pieces when he reset the game

ANYWAYS! Here's the kill counts! I'm lending Cater the credit for all the kills Malleus forced him into, and only counting the kills via thorns, glass box, or by his own hands for the insane man himself. THE MURDER AWARDS, presented from least kills to most!

Starting in our very last place is Vil, with one very flat lion on the lawn of NRC's main building. At least they're both far from second place, being dead last. If this was a race for first death, though, they'd win first place.

Tying for second to last is Jamil and Azul with two kills each, and frankly I find this kind of hilarious. Even in unusually homicidal behavior, Azul just HAS to be right up close to Jamil. I honestly can't decide who has the more brutal kills between them, but Player is just about as traumatized by both! At least their combined four victims can enjoy Trey's cookies in the very brief afterlife they have before the world resets.

Separating himself from having a three-way tie via adding HIMSELF (willing and knowing self-termination) is Idia, our very last survivor! Until he isn't! We all know exactly HOW he survived, by staying as far away from the action as physically possible until he saw an opening for a quick snipe here and there, but hey, at least he made up for scrolling through player's private data by trying (and failing quite miserably, frankly) to be the hero at the very, very end of it all! No one is surprised. But at least he renewed everyone for a season 2 of living!

And here we have a MASSIVE jump in numbers from 2-and-himself to a whopping and indisputable TEN, we have Cater! At least he got his hugs. And the little picture of Player he wanted ever since that vignette... It becomes a lot more plot relevant later.

So appropriately for his character, Malleus just HAS to overshadow everyone, even if by just the slimmest margin of one single character, that being Player. Unless you're counting mob students, then we jump from double digit death count to triple! :D!! He IS the boss for a reason, and thus wins today's Murder Awards!!!!

Anytime I see the legion im picturing urs so now in a trial im like "fukn idiot loser babies" *pallet smacks*. Reading ur meta(is that the term??) on Julie just now I'm like. So mad for her!! Get them kids some therapy!! How could the adults in their lives let them get to such a shitty point.. >:( Also, another thought I had with Adiris. The buzzfeed video is more her holding a bunch of cats. Because the survivors are like herding cats. Chaos children they are (im looking at you meg.)

Hahdjsdk god what a mood. Every time I see an Anna I’m just like “!!! MOM?” And get a hatchet between the eyes rip. And yeah! Meta is right.

For real, for real. Julie and all the Legion kids had some real shit going on. Joey by far had the best home life and family, but even he had a bunch of struggles in school because his family didn’t have time or in many cases experience to help him study, and it was crowded and poor, and because he had no help most kids got, he got treated like he was stupider, and even when he had skills in other areas, everyone at school expected him to perform well at sports and not much else like that was fine & he was meant to be valuable exclusively as an athlete, when he much preferred and actually really liked things like shop and ceramics and building/making stuff. But most people treat trade classes like easy As dumb kids pick (back when shop was still a thing), and like it was a worthless skill, and like. That doesn’t sound as bad as like, being bounced through foster homes as Frank, but pain is relative, you know? Bad is just bad. And things grind on you. It was hard to be taught constantly he was only worth something as a skill he didn’t even really care about, and get treated like he was dumb just because he had less help built in to school than most kids there did. People don’t talk about this much but like, having parents or sibs who help with homework? It’s a huge factor. So is just having family who are college graduates (if you go to college), because first gen student means walking in blind & alone & accountable to no one but bills, and like, college is initially overwhelming with two parents with Masters who are helpful. Any time what you value about you and what you love doesn’t match up with what people who have more power than you tell you is valuable about you/should be your goal, it’s hard. Especially as a teen still trying to like hack out an identity. Overly enthusiastic and impulsive, and has been mocked and hurt and turned on for it, but can’t shut it off. Big heart, but the luck to stand up usually just in time to get laid flat again.

And then Susie, with the parents who don’t care for her or pay her much mind other than disappointed looks and an occasional snap or suggestion or urging to try something different that what she’s doing. Bullied for her sexuality, nervous, and in a small town in the late 90s, probably the only lesbian (at least that she’s aware of existing) in that entire like couple hundred people mountain town, and sort of unbearably alone and misunderstood and isolated feeling. God, feeling like there’s just no one like you are out there is one of the worst feelings, isn’t it? Buried in the things she knows people whisper about her and a thousand tiny microinteractions a day that drain her armor. Loves Julie, but is so isolated Julie is her entire world to an unhealthy, co-dependant, and worryingly usable/manipulatable and non-independent nature for Susie. Because she’s so desperate to keep her she’d do anything not to be alone. But the struggle to never be alone by chasing Julie’s shadow means there’s no time for Susie and her own hopes and dreams and choices and developing personhood. But the worst part is that she’s genuinely happy this way, trailing after the girl she loves, which makes it so hard for either of them to confront and stop even enough to just make it healthy again. But she’s built her whole identity on one person like a precarious janga tower that could fall any second if the wrong piece goes, and that can’t be sustained forever, and who is she when it does crumble?

Then you got Julie, hot, popular, ignored personality disorder, proud parents who want her to keep being ideal and their little princess, than can’t handle her as a teen when she’s not in the box they expected anymore and they can’t just live and be proud vicariously through her all the time. Hit puberty early & dated way too physically way too young with way too much older men. Hit on by teachers, by men three times her age in parking lots. Quickly taught it’s safer to say yes than no and sex and love are a battlefield where you use the other as a stepping stone & the trick is to manurver so you’re okay once it’s over and got something while it went on. Had fun being hot and physically developed young because she suddenly had admirers and people were nice, then realized way too late that it came with constantly being in danger and under pressure to keep performing sexiness, and there wasn’t a livable choice to back out and fail those expectations anymore & be okay in her social circles. Knows she’s not emotional or loving in the way her loved ones are distressed about it, but can’t tell why, and gives up trying to ‘fix it’ and just pretends she doesn’t care and leans into being the sexy bitch and the power that comes with it. Doesn’t even know who she is herself beneath any of the ways she lives anymore, maybe she just is the act, maybe that’s fine. Trusts no one and that’s fine it’s just smart. Caught between liking the power of sex and intelligence and coldness, and the emptiness of not really being somebody. Needs to be loved and idolised and eternally aware how much people would hate her for that if they knew it was the truth, so she just keeps it to herself and makes herself someone they have no choice but to love and adore, so it’ll all be okay. Caught between worried she is cold and unfeeling and selfish and proud, and liking the power that goes with that, and the lack of desire to change, and the fear she doesn’t know how to do it. So she mostly just doesn’t think about any of the turmoil anymore and lives Julie instead of being her.

Then you got Frank, tossed around a myriad of foster homes, stolen by the government from the only one he ever was loved in over race, abused in every way foster parents have learned to abuse the kids they were supposed to love, and convinced since he was a kid that he’s a bad seed and a monster at heart, until he leaned into the violence of that to protect himself when no one else did. Harsh and strong and a fighter, a survivor, lonely and a loner, too much past, no future, not much present. Angry, god, so angry, and nothing to do with it. No skills, or money, or future, or any of it. No love, no family. Just the things he taught himself to survive. Just a good liar, a good fighter, adaptable, fast, tactical, enduring. Knows how to pick locks and lift wallets and hoard food that is least likely to be noticed. How to vanish, how to look real scary and real big, how to get stabbed and get back up, and take a fall, and bide his time. How to find north. Which makes for a good what? A thug, a conman, a drug runner, a loan shark or a hitter or a bouncer maybe? A guard, a killer, a thief? No love, no ties, no one. And only a borrowed, angry, violent sense of self, and all the other versions that didn’t live to adulthood but aren’t quiet dead yet buried beneath it.

God, the opening line to the original lore for Darkness Among Us really was beautiful and memorable. The kind of first line you hope for. “Frank Morrison was ninteen, and had little to show for it.” Like, fuck. It’s so understated, and common, and painfully mundane, but that’s it, that’s his whole life. And how fucking painful that is. To be the end of teenagehood, stepping into adult life alone, and be able to be summed up in just eleven words, as a marker of your lived timespan up to now, and the annotation that you from all of it have gained almost nothing that could be worth any note. I fucking love that line. God. It’s so empty, and cruelly mundane and undramatic and unimportantly scored and marked, like it doesn’t even matter that he’s down nearly two decades of life with nothing worth taking into the next two.

Lord, all the Legion kids really do need help, and therapy, and like, one decent parental figure. Thank god for Jeff. He really is out here doing the real work. Love that man. TuT

And you’re right w Adiris lol. 🤣 It’s a mix of cats and dogs, magbe even. Some of them aren’t trouble, but oh, oh some most definitely are. Side note: I fkn just reallly love cats. Poor Adiris out here tryin her best, and I’m sure she does too.

For your mermaids- 1,2,14, &26

i think this was for the emoji ask meme but if you meant this for another meme, feel free to send it again djvkas

👹 How does you OC act around different people and how does their personality change to match the environment they’re in? How do they act with: friends, family, strangers, children or their lover(s)? - BELLUS: Theyre all a lil mean to strangers tbh but out of all of them bellus is probably the nicest to strangers? He’s just v curious and willing to help out people long enough to satisfy his own curiosity or if it has something to do with romance. Friends & family are pretty much treated the same where he wants their attention the Most and since hes pretty extroverted, he ends up following them around and dragging them into whatever he wants to do because Friendship is involving your friends!! Hes also a v physically affectionate person that gives out compliments as soon as he thinks of them. And all thats just turned up more if he manages to get a lover. As for children, he doesnt really treat them any different than he does a stranger. Maybe a bit more condensing  - MERI: So its already established he has fun pranking and bothering people. Those pranks dont stop with friends & family, its just that hes more willing to hear out people hes close to when they dont like the most recent prank he pulled on them. It still takes him a bit to understand Why they wouldnt like the prank but hes still more open to hearing them out and thats a start! With a lover, im not fully sure how he’d act? he doesnt really have romance on the same level as importance as bellus does (really none of the others do-) so he’d be caught v off guard having a crush in the first place and probably be v tsundere about having Feelings. and then if they actually get together, he’d be v protective and a lot more willing to listen to them no matter what because he Knows he’s a little shit. as for kids, hes more likely to play pranks on them because theyre more likely to fall for tricks that grown ups have already learned to avoid. and the lost boys at least are also more likely to get over it compared to adults in neverland- - CASPIAN: tbh with strangers hes just vibing. watching. listening. he tends to know a lot about people he never even talks to because he spends so much time people watching and listening on nearby conversations. and hes unlikely to start conversations with people he isnt close to if he doesnt need something from them. with friends & family he does participate in conversations more, especially if theyre the type of people who need participation from him to feel comfortable, he just still likes listening more. and he likes listening to them talk about whatever theyre thinking about which is the reason he listens to bellus talk about his current crush all the time. he also takes a lot of mental notes about things they mention so that he can do things like choose decent birthday gifts and make sure if theres a surprise planned for them its something they’ll actually like. with lovers, he starts to initiate conversations more often because he likes their voice the most so he wants to try to keep them talking to listen to them go on. he also probably asks them to listen to him play songs on all his different instruments and writes songs specifically for them. he doesnt really like kids tbh so he’d avoid them as much as he can get away with- - KENN: hes wary and a lil defensive towards strangers but that doesnt stop him from trying to keep bellus and meri from being too chaotic and upsetting people they dont know. he’ll be polite if someone he doesnt know talks to him, though that doesnt mean he’ll keep being nice if he thinks theyre being rude. hes used to being the one expected to take care of others so with friends, theyll be added to his little group of people he watches over. sometimes he slips into that same habit with family but hes also more willing to let himself be the one whos taken care of for once. if he had a lover, he’d end up falling into his habit of taking care of them but he’d also want them to take care of him too.... to see how it feels to be on the receiving end more often....... despite being assigned the mom friend position, he isnt really that nurturing naturally?? so he’d be V Awkward around an actual child, especially if they arent like the lost boys because even if theyre kids, he can just trust that they’ll survive taking care of themselves. but actual kids who need supervision will just have an awkward uncle figure now

🥊 Does your OC prefer to take the lead or follow orders? With everyone or just with certain people? Is there a reason for this? - BELLUS: hes more comfortable following orders, though maybe with a little rebellion to cause whoever’s giving him the orders a lil grief. he thinks its funny. if the person giving the orders is someone he trusts, then he tends to not really think about the why behind anything they tell him to do unless its something v specific and strange. so he ends up being a bit of a blind follower since he doesnt think people he trusts would try to hurt him on purpose. and no matter whos giving him orders, if hes upset with them then he’ll chose the malicious obedience route where he follows orders very passive aggressively - MERI: he wants to be the leader A Lot!! but he also isnt really good at being a leader. he gets caught off guard whenever someone willing hands him the leading position in any kind of situation since hes used to trying to fight kenn for that role - CASPIAN: he doesnt enjoy being the one in charge of people tbh. like if he was forced into the position he’d actually do a pretty good job with it but he doesnt like the responsibility that comes with having to be in charge. caspian prefers to instead follow orders and make sure theyre being carried out when people (meri) start being unnecessarily rebellious in his opinion. that being said, he doesnt blindly follow orders and wont really listen to someone that he (or kenn-) doesn’t respect - KENN: hes been the one expected to be in charge so long that now it feels wrong not taking the lead in some capacity. he gets more uncomfortable with that role the more people hes expected to tell what to do and expected to be responsible for the mistakes they make. thats why he prefers to just lead a small group and maybe take orders from someone like conrad whos in charge of the whole his lil group is a part of

🐟 What was your OC like as a baby? What were they like as a child? A teenager? An adult? How do you think they’ll develop ten years into their future? Twenty years? Will they live to old age? - BELLUS: was probably a v innocent child tbh?? he just kinda went along with a lot of the things the others did since he’s the baby of the group and as they all got older, meri was the one who taught him the most about Crimes - MERI: 100% even more destructive as a child, he just didnt really know then the full consequences of his actions. he still doesnt really think about them nowadays too but hes still more Aware in the first place - CASPIAN: he was always quiet, even as a kid though he was also more shy back then. now he’d say hes more confident and that not talking much doesnt mean hes still the shy kid he used to be - KENN: a lot more outgoing and mischievous as a kid! he was still trying to figure out how to be in charge of a lil group like his friends and he doubts he would’ve really gotten far if caspian wasnt always there to help out - im torn between them all aging normally now that they’re vibing on the mainland or mermaids having a lil piece of neverland inside them no matter where they go and only really physically aging when they mentally age as well. like the mental growth they have and more concepts they learn that are associated with adulthood like grief, they more they turn physically into an adult. i think either way, none of them really understand the concept of dying from old age though

💚 Are you writing anything with this OC or planning on writing anything for them? Do you rp with them or are they just for fun to mess around with? - I do have a lot of fun developing them and drawing them all, I just dont know what I’d write for them dsbafbv. I didnt make them with the intention of rping them but mayhaps that’ll change one day?

Long moving update

Hi! I know I promised this, and obviously I’ve been online and caught up, but here is my fun moving story. And all my shit is in my new condo. as far as I know most of it survived in one piece. So if you don’t know me, and wanted a tldr there it is! Read more cause this got long as hell

SO! Monday night I stayed up till 2 am (tuesday morning I guess) finishing packing most of the shit. Mom was coming on Tuesday (and before I continue, I just need to say that she was actually massively helpful, and not judgmental about shit, and honestly, best help I've gotten from here in a LOOOONG ass time) and I wanted to look like I was totally ready. Because some of my college moves were a complete shit show, and mom witnessed all of those. I crashed around 2.30-3 ish, planning to sleep till 9.45. Nope. the doughnuts my relator sent over (which are stans doughnuts and delicious) arrived at 9.15 instead of 11. So I broke speed records for getting dressed in something and running out to get those. Mom made it about 11.30 and we were working on the last min shit (getting all the trash out, and loading everything in my fridge/freezer into coolers because who needs to buy all new condiments). We had finished packing all the shit by a bit after 1, and had moved onto sweeping where we could (around the boxes lol) and double checking cabinets. My movers said it would only take an hour to move all of my packed shit into their truck, drive it to the new place, and get it up in the elevator. They said they would be there between 1 and 2. so. I had elevator reservations at this building for 1-5. Any time I go over, I have to pay a fee. $50 a half hour. I told the movers this in the initial email. They never gave me a phone number, everything had been over email. At 1.30 I started to get nervous. at 2 I started to call every number I could find attached to them online. Finally I got a call back at 2.15. Their previous job had run over, and I was next. They would get to my place by 3.30. Welp. nothing I can do. I reiterated the time for the elevator. And for those unfamiliar with Chicago traffic, let me tell you, rush hour starts at about 4, and lasts until 8 ish. The drive between the two places is about 15 min in a speeding uber with no traffic, or 45 min stuck in all the traffic. Or something between. They brought an extra guy they didn’t charge me for, and got all my shit out in like 20 min. Which is just fucking impressive, because I had a daybed, mattress, 3 shelves with cubes in them, a desk, chair, tv, 4 rugs, 9 under bed bins, and about 40 moving boxes, and lived in a second story walk up. 

So then mom and I ran over to the new place. Plan was, I run in, get the movers, do whatever I needed to do with security, got moms parking pass for later, while mom went back to the apartment to get the things we didn’t want the movers to move (there were like 4 smallish boxes, 2 backpacks, and the contents of the freezer that needed to be tossed into grocery bags. the boxes and backpacks were fragile and irreplaceable things, and the backpacks were legal docs, a few decent and sentimental pieces of jewelry, and my laptop), then, once mom was headed over, i’d head down, meet her in the circle drive out front, and we’d figure out parking. 

lol

So, I run in, run back to the loading bay, and can’t find a security guard. Then the movers call and they can’t figure out how to get to the back of the building. So I go out back to try to give them directions. They finally show up (traffic was awful), and one guy goes, ‘show me where to go’. So he follows me. Still no guard by the loading bay, so I head to management office. A security guard is going in, so I go to follow him and he yells at me. OOOK. I decide to go to the front desk next. They tell me to go to management and point out I only have about 45 min (I FUCKING KNOW). I say I can’t get into the management office right now, this is time sensitive, where is the security guard by the back door. She radios someone and says they’re coming around the corner. Guard who yelled at me earlier comes around the corner. I ask him. He says hes looking for someone and not to bother him. oooook. I go back to the front desk. she now says they don’t have the move in info up there, can’t prove that i am who i say i am, and that I need to move. and to head back to management. Management is a 4 min leisurely stroll from the desk btw. So i’m heading back, when a different security guard rounds the corner, and asks if im the mover. well she asks the mover if we’re moving in, and i’m like ‘nope, i am, he’s carrying the shit, i’m paying’. and she starts in on complaining about how we’ve kept her waiting all day and she wants to go home. I apologize (but like also, I paid her to be there. not to sound entitled, but she was paid to do nothing but sit in an air conditioned office waiting for me to show up, and then to watch movers walk by. I’m sorry, but good grief, i also did not want to be running late). So then we try to take the elevators. the door to the freight elevator is locked for no fucking reason. my fob won’t work. she doesn't have a key. So i run back to the front desk, and she radios for mr friendly security guard to come back. He takes his sweeet ass time walking there, and we spend 5 min staring at the glass doors separating me from the service elevators. my mover is like ‘ i hope we’re refunded for this 15 min’ and i’m like ‘bitch i wish you’d showed up on time’ internally but just nod. SO then she’s like ‘you know you just have 15 min left. ‘ and i’m like ‘yes i am aware’. and she’s like ‘i have to tell management if you run over’ and i’m like ‘yes i know this too’. so it’s unlocked, I escort the movers to my room, unlock the door, and then fucking sprint back to management office (which I still haven’t made it into today) so I can pick up my parking pass for mom, before management office closes at 5. so the movers get my shit up in like 45 min, and then move it to the correct rooms. I pay them and tip them cause apparently you’re supposed to. and then I lay down and try to stop sweating for 5 seconds.

Then mom calls. She’s on her way, and got everything but one box in her car. So I head down to the lobby (meet a neighbor I share a wall with, he seems super nice, teaches piano, was giving a lesson while i was moving in, I couldn’t hear anything. i love these thick walls) and hop in moms car, and we go to figure out the garage. We finally figure out how to get in (this took a few min, the garage system is currently complicated as they’re in the middle of renovating) get down and discover that yes we have in and out privileges with this pass, but it’s still valet. all parking I can get for guests is valet. which is awkward but ok. We meet William, who is SUPER friendly, nicely explains how the garage works, lets us leave the car by the valet stand while we unload some things, lets me use the luggage cart, just is all around awesome. So we get the shit upstairs, unload the cold shit, and run back downstairs to drive to fucking ikea. We get there, figure out the closet thing I want is too big for my closet (sigh) and order the rest of the shit to be delivered here on the 11th. So that’s when I’ll have furniture again lol.  

we go home and pass out. it’s 11, i’ve been running all day, this is deserved. 

the next day we start unpacking. I'm dealing with my clothes, mom is doing the kitchen. I hear some ‘broken pottery pieces moving around noises’ and know i’m fucked. All my fucking plates except 3 are busted. They were sturdy old plates that looked like fiestaware I got at good will and have had for nearly 10 years. They're all still wrapped in my bubble wrap. Just fucking shattered. So. that’s something I need to deal with. So far they’re the only broken things we’ve found, but damn it’s going to be a pain to replace. So once the cable guy shows up 2 hours late, and finally gets that set up, mom and I run back to the apartment, grab the last box, and go to physically drop my keys off because my landlord sucks. We get stuck in traffic cause Western is shit again, and finally make the ‘20 min’ drive according to gps in about an hour. I drop them off, and we’re back at my condo. Mom and I unpack until she leaves in the evening and then I go to my room and get online and I haven’t unpacked shit since then. I’m going to after I type this out (and send a form to the office, and ask a polite question about how do I get amazon packages delivered to the package room because my smoke alarm does not work at all and the nice matience guy who discovered that yesterday let me off without a fine, cause he could see i’d literally just moved in, but I need to fix that). But like.... i’m actually in the room! and about half the boxes are unpacked!!! which is amazing!!!! so, it had some issues, but at least i’m fucking moved!

Where to Find Guest Blogging Opportunities on fireinsidemusic.com

Correction Appended

On an album of bittersweet childrens tracks that she wrote greater than ten years in the past, the lady who arrived for being acknowledged only as being the piano Trainer offered what, in hindsight, seems like an eerie glimpse of her possess foreseeable future.

Im shifting away right now to a place so far-off, where by nobody is aware my identify, she wrote while in the lyrics of a tune known as Relocating.

When she wrote that music, she was young and vivacious, a piano teacher and freelance songs writer who beloved Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river Seems, extended walks and every little thing about New York.

On a type of beloved walks, by means of Central Park in the bright sun of a June working day in 1996, a homeless drifter beat her and tried to rape her, leaving her clinging to everyday living. Once the assault, the terms to her track came legitimate. She moved away, away from New York City, away from her previous lifestyle, and all but her closest mates didn't know her identify. To the remainder of the planet, she was — much like the additional famous jogger attacked in Central Park 7 many years before — an nameless symbol of the urban nightmare. She was the piano Trainer.

Now, over the 10th anniversary of your assault, she is celebrating what appears to be her entire recovery from brain trauma. She's 42, married, with a small child. She's Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano teacher, and she or he wants to notify her story, her way.

Her health care provider informed her it will choose 10 years to Recuperate, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I experience my life is redefined by Central Park, she claimed many days in the past, her voice comfortable and hopeful. Just before park; immediately after park. Will there at any time be described as a time After i dont think, Oh, This can be the tenth anniversary, the eleventh anniversary?

She spoke in her modest ranch home in a very wooded subdivision within a Ny suburb. She sat in a eating home strewn with toys, surrounded by photos of her cherubic, darkish-haired two-year-outdated daughter. A Steinway grand stuffed fifty percent the space, and at one particular point she sat down and played. Her enjoying was forceful, but she seemed embarrassed to Participate in quite a lot of bars, and shrugged, as an alternative to answering, when questioned the title from the piece. She asked that her daughter and her town not be named.

She calls that working day, June four, 1996, the working day Once i was harm.

Hers was the first in a very string of assaults by a similar man on four Women of all ages around 8 days. The final victim, Evelyn Alvarez, 65, was crushed to Dying as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleansing store, and ultimately, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to everyday living in jail.

But the attack over the piano Instructor may be the just one persons look to recollect quite possibly the most. A part of the fascination should do with echoes of your 1989 attack around the Central Park jogger. But In addition it frightened individuals in a means the attack to the jogger did not mainly because its situation had been so mundane.

It didn't happen inside of a distant Portion of the park late at nighttime, but near a favorite playground at three during the afternoon. It might have took place to any one. The tension was heightened with the mystery with the piano lecturers identification.

For 3 times, as police and Physicians attempted to discover who she was, she lay in a coma in her clinic bed, nameless. Her mothers and fathers were on getaway and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Last but not least, one among her learners regarded a law enforcement sketch and was ready to identify her from the healthcare facility by her fingers, since her deal with was swollen further than recognition. The police didn't launch her name.

The very last thing she remembers about June 4, 1996, is supplying a lesson in her studio condominium on West 57th Street, then putting her extended hair in a very ponytail and heading out for the stroll. She doesn't keep in mind the assault, although she has read the accounts with the police and prosecutors.

To me its like a reality I realized and memorized, she claimed. As though I were being a pupil at school researching historical past.

She will not consider the man who did it. I might need been angry for any minute, although not much longer than that, she stated. How could I be indignant at John Royster? He was declared not crazy, but I guess by our standards he was.

Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her medical doctor at New York Clinic-Cornell Professional medical Heart, as it was identified in 1996, explained to reporters that she had a ten % potential for survival. Medical professionals had to get rid of her forehead bone, which was later changed, to produce space for her swelling Mind. When her mother made a community attract pray for my daughter, thousands did.

Immediately after eight days, she arrived away from a coma, first within a vegetative state, then within a childlike condition. As she recovered, she slept small and talked continually, at times in gibberish. I was receiving mad at people after they didnt respond to these terms, she mentioned.

Like an Alzheimers individual, she experienced minor brief-term memory and would fail to remember readers the moment they left the place.

More than many months, she needed to relearn tips on how to wander, dress, read and compose. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, frequented every single day to Participate in guitar for her. He encouraged her to play the piano, from the advice of her Actual physical therapists, who believed she could be disappointed by her incapacity to Participate in just how she once had. Mr. Scherr performed Beatles duets along with her, enjoying the left-hand element though she played the right.

That was my finest therapy, she said.

In August, she moved back again property to New Jersey, together with her father, an engineer, and mother, a schoolteacher. She visited aged haunts and called good friends, hoping to restore her shattered memory. I was incredibly obsessive about remembering, she reported. Any memory reduction was to me a sign of abnormality or deficit.

Her therapists considered her development was fantastic, but her two sisters protested that she wasn't the deep thinker she had been.

What bothered her most was that she experienced dropped the ability to cry, just as if a faucet within her brain had been turned off. One particular evening, 9 months following she was harm, she stayed up late to observe the John Grisham Motion picture A Time to Eliminate. Just immediately after her father had long gone to mattress, she watched a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on trial for killing two Adult males who experienced raped his young daughter.

The faucet opened, along with the tears trickled down her cheeks. I thought about my mom and dad, my father, and the things they went by means of, she mentioned. Minimal by very little, my experience returned, my depth of mind returned.

Urged by her sisters, she went back to high school and acquired a masters diploma in new music education.

Not everything went effectively. She and Mr. Scherr break up up 5 years after the attack, though they remain good friends. She dated other Adult males, but she often informed them concerning the attack immediately — she could not support it, she explained — they usually under no circumstances called for a second date.

We've got to search out you anyone, her Good friend David Phelps, a guitar participant, said four many years ago, ahead of introducing her to Liam McCann, a computer technician and newbie drummer. For as soon as, she didn't say just about anything concerning the attack right up until she bought to learn Mr. McCann, after which you can when she did, he admired her energy.

Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who had usually frequented her at her bedside when she was during the healthcare facility, married them in his Situations Square Business. She wore a blue dress and pearls. Whilst she was pregnant, inside a burst of creativeness, she and her pals recorded Even though Have been Youthful, an album of childrens tracks that she had created prior to the attack, including the song Transferring. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, developed the CD. On it, her spouse performs drums and he or she plays electrical piano.

Is her existence as it absolutely was? Not precisely, however she's reluctant to attribute the differences to her injuries. Her final two piano students remaining her, without contacting to explain why, she explained. She has resumed taking part in classical new music, but basic pieces, because her daughter won't give her the perfect time to apply. As for jazz, I dont even check out, she stated.

She wish to push much more, sensation stranded within the suburbs, but she is easily rattled. She tries to be information with keeping dwelling and caring for her daughter.

Dr. Ghajar, a clinical professor of neurological surgical treatment at exactly what is now termed Ny-Presbyterian Medical center/Weill Cornell Health-related Centre, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann after the assault, reported previous week that her level of recovery was scarce. Shes essentially typical, he said.

Other industry experts, that are not Individually knowledgeable about Ms. Kevorkian McCanns case, are more careful.

Regaining a chance to Participate in the piano may perhaps require an Virtually mechanical procedure, a semiautomatic remember of what the fingers have to do, said Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of scientific rehabilitation drugs at Big apple College College of Drugs. As soon as brain-hurt, you are often brain-injured, For the remainder of your life, Dr. Ben-Yishay reported. There isn't a get rid of, There is certainly only intense payment.

The greater telling Element of a Restoration, in his look at, is psychological, and on that score he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns relationship and youngster as a major victory.

For her aspect, the piano Instructor knows she has adjusted, but she has produced her peace with it. I had been type of a hyper —— I dont know if I used to be a kind A, but I used to be formidable, she states. Why was I so ambitious? I had been a piano Trainer. I dont know what the ambition was about. I actually did return to the person Im designed to be.

12 Stats About best beginner keyboard piano

Correction Appended

On an album of bittersweet childrens tunes that she wrote in excess of ten years back, the woman who came for being recognized only because the piano teacher available what, in hindsight, looks as if an eerie glimpse of her possess long run.

Im going away today to a spot so far away, in which nobody is familiar with my title, she wrote inside the lyrics of the music named Going.

When she wrote that tune, she was youthful and vivacious, a piano Trainer and freelance audio writer who beloved Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river sounds, lengthy walks and every little thing about New York.

On a kind of beloved walks, by way of Central Park in the brilliant Solar of the June day in 1996, a homeless drifter beat her and attempted to rape her, leaving her clinging to lifetime. After the assault, the words to her music came real. She moved absent, from New York City, out of her outdated life, and all but her closest buddies didn't know her title. To the remainder of the planet, she was — much like the a lot more renowned jogger attacked in Central Park seven several years before — an anonymous symbol of the urban nightmare. She was the piano Instructor.

Now, within the 10th anniversary from the attack, she's celebrating what seems to be her total recovery from brain trauma. She is forty two, married, with a little boy or girl. She is Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano Trainer, and she or he would like to tell her story, her way.

Her health care provider informed her it could consider ten years to Get better, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I experience my lifetime has become redefined by Central Park, she reported several times in the past, her voice soft and hopeful. Before park; immediately after park. Will there ever be a time when I dont Feel, Oh, this is the 10th anniversary, the 11th anniversary?

She spoke in her modest ranch property inside a wooded subdivision in a The big apple suburb. She sat in the eating home strewn with toys, surrounded by photos of her cherubic, dark-haired 2-year-outdated daughter. A Steinway grand filled 50 percent the home, and at one particular level she sat down and performed. Her taking part in was forceful, but she appeared embarrassed to Perform more than a few bars, and shrugged, rather than answering, when questioned the identify in the piece. She requested that her daughter and her city not be named.

She calls that working day, June 4, 1996, the working day After i was hurt.

Hers was the main in the string of attacks by the identical person on 4 women about 8 days. The final victim, Evelyn Alvarez, 65, was crushed to Loss of life as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleansing store, and finally, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to daily life in prison.

But the attack over the piano Trainer could be the 1 folks feel to keep in mind essentially the most. Part of the fascination has got to do with echoes of the 1989 attack over the Central Park jogger. But In addition it frightened individuals in a way the attack on the jogger did not since its conditions ended up so mundane.

It did not happen inside a remote Portion of the park late in the evening, but in close proximity to a well known playground at three during the afternoon. It might have transpired to any individual. The stress was heightened with the thriller from the piano lecturers identity.

For three days, as law enforcement and doctors tried using to learn who she was, she lay within a coma in her medical center mattress, anonymous. Her dad and mom were on holiday vacation and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Last but not least, among her pupils recognized a police sketch and was capable of recognize her in the medical center by her fingers, mainly because her face was swollen past recognition. The law enforcement did not release her identify.

The very last thing she remembers about June four, 1996, is supplying a lesson in her studio condominium on West 57th Road, then putting her lengthy hair in the ponytail and heading out to get a wander. She would not remember the attack, While she has listened to the accounts with the law enforcement and prosecutors.

To me its just like a reality I figured out and memorized, she mentioned. Like I were being a university student at school finding out historical past.

She isn't going to contemplate the man who did it. I may need been angry for the moment, although not for much longer than that, she stated. How could I be indignant at John Royster? He was declared not insane, but I guess by our standards he was.

Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her medical professional at Big apple Medical center-Cornell Health-related Center, as it had been known in 1996, instructed reporters that she had a ten per cent chance of survival. Physicians had to remove her forehead bone, which was later changed, to generate area for her swelling Mind. When her mom designed a public appeal to pray for my daughter, hundreds did.

Right after 8 days, she arrived away from a coma, very first in a vegetative state, then in the childlike point out. As she recovered, she slept very little and talked continuously, at times in gibberish. I had been getting mad at men and women every time they didnt respond to these words and phrases, she claimed.

Like an Alzheimers patient, she had little quick-expression memory and would neglect readers when they still left the room.

Around various months, she had to relearn the way to stroll, gown, browse and generate. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, frequented every day to Engage in guitar for her. He inspired her to Enjoy the piano, towards the recommendation of her Actual physical therapists, who imagined she can be discouraged by her inability to play the best way she when experienced. Mr. Scherr performed Beatles duets with her, participating in the still left-hand part whilst she performed the correct.

Which was my very best therapy, she reported.

In August, she moved again dwelling to New Jersey, along with her father, an engineer, and mother, a schoolteacher. She frequented outdated haunts and termed pals, making an attempt to restore her shattered memory. I was quite obsessive about remembering, she reported. Any memory decline was to me an indication of abnormality or deficit.

Her therapists believed her progress was terrific, but her two sisters protested that she was not the deep thinker she had been.

What bothered her most was that she had dropped a chance to cry, as though a faucet within her brain were turned off. One particular evening, nine months after she was harm, she stayed up late to look at the John Grisham Film A The perfect time to Eliminate. Just after her father experienced absent to bed, she watched a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on demo for killing two Guys who had raped his younger daughter.

The faucet opened, and also the tears trickled down her cheeks. I thought of my mother and father, my father, and the things they went through, she stated. Very little by small, my experience returned, my depth of brain returned.

Urged by her sisters, she went back again to highschool and bought a masters diploma in songs education.

Not all the things went perfectly. She and Mr. Scherr split up five years after the attack, although they continue to be friends. She dated other Males, but she usually advised them with regard to the attack instantly — she could not support it, she reported — and so they never ever referred to as for just a 2nd day.

We've got to find you anyone, her friend David Phelps, a guitar player, claimed four years in the past, right before introducing her to Liam McCann, a computer technician and amateur drummer. For once, she did not say something about the attack until finally she acquired to grasp Mr. McCann, after which you can when she did, he admired her power.

Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who had frequently frequented her at her bedside while she was inside the healthcare facility, married them in his Moments Sq. Office environment. She wore a blue costume and pearls. Although she was pregnant, inside of a burst of creativity, she and her pals recorded While Had been Younger, an album of childrens songs that she had written before the attack, such as the song Shifting. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, generated the CD. On it, her husband plays drums and she or he performs electrical piano.

Is her everyday living as it was? Not accurately, however she is hesitant to attribute the variations to her injuries. Her previous two piano pupils left her, without contacting to elucidate why, she stated. She has resumed playing classical tunes, but straightforward pieces, for the reason that her daughter would not give her the perfect time to practice. As for jazz, I dont even attempt, she reported.

She want to drive more, feeling stranded inside the suburbs, but she is definitely rattled. She attempts to be material with being residence and caring for her daughter.

Dr. Ghajar, a scientific professor of neurological surgical procedure at what on earth is now termed New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Clinical Heart, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann after the assault, said past week that her level of Restoration was unusual. Shes in essence ordinary, he explained.

Other authorities, who are not Individually aware of Ms. Kevorkian McCanns scenario, tend to be more cautious.

Regaining the ability to play the piano may include an Virtually mechanical course of action, a semiautomatic remember of what the fingers ought to do, reported Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of clinical rehabilitation medication at New York College School of Medicine. At the time brain-wounded, you happen to be generally brain-hurt, For the remainder of your daily life, Dr. Ben-Yishay reported. There isn't a remedy, There is certainly only intense compensation.

The more telling A part of a Restoration, in his perspective, is psychological, and on that rating he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns relationship and child as a major victory.

For her element, the piano teacher knows she has modified, but she has built her peace with it. I used to be kind of a hyper —— I dont know if I had been a sort A, but I used to be bold, she says. Why was I so formidable? I had been a piano teacher. I dont determine what the ambition was about. I really did return to the person Im purported to be.

Hell Fire Club Books

Hell Fire Club Books is a rather remarkable, very old school approach to book binding and publishing. Helmed by Eamonn Loughran they have released an astounding collection of esoteric and occult volumes over the last two decades. Individually hand craft leather and vellum bound volumes, hand worked tooling and incredible editions and folio bindings are a hallmark of HFCB work.

After reviewing his incredible edition of the Keys of Rabbi Solomon I thought that a chat about the work his is doing would be enlightening to those who, like myself, have a love for fine bindings and beautiful books.

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Lets start off with a bit of background on Hell Fire Club. When did you start publishing fine bindings? What was your first volume?

Well 'Hell Fire Club Books' really began about 20-21 years ago with my interest in the PGMs (Greco Egyptian Magical Papyri) where I produced a facsimile of one document with suggested new readings, it was the legendary 'Headless God' invocation, something that I am working on completing for this year (yes 21 years later!). The real intent of Hell Fire Club Books was to provide a window into the magical current of an old incarnation of Thelema and to link that with the modern world. I was living in Buckinghamshire (UK) at the time and had been simultaneously researching Crowley's techniques in Liber Samekh and the history of the 18th century Hell Fire Club. Behind 'Hell Fire Club Books' is actually a small circle which keeps the legends and symbolism of the original Hell Fire Club alive, thats what makes it unique!

  Fine binding is having a renaissance at the moment, with deluxe editions becoming the norm for most publishers of the esoteric. HFCB on the other had is all fine bindings. How do you choose which works you feel need the special bindings you create?

Things jump at me! I literally get a big charge from the creative and magical work I'm handling and from there its a daemonic rush to the bindery where something physical takes shape! I was trained in a bindery in Nottingham UK which was established in 1903, the old guys had never worked anywhere else and binding in leather by hand was a daily practice. My first real test there was a run of over 450 leather bound books in silk lined boxes for the Houses of Parliament, a row of highly skilled craftsmen working like steam engines drinking tea all day and chatting about fishing and cricket with me in the middle trying to keep up! I learned from working with them and soaked it all up with enthusiasm every minute! I suppose I'm a visual and tactile thinker really, I've never understood the concept of a non-physical magic, for me everything is inherently physical and where the manifestation of a book touches people not only in distant places but across time then we can be sure that their experience is a more powerful one, a book literally initiates a new current.

Leather and vellum binding and sourcing high quality papers are increasingly difficult. Where do you acquire the variables for your productions?

Fortunately the best producers are all still in business! In the UK there are a number of bookbinder suppliers both trade and conservation etc plus good tanneries both here and in France and Germany. I have to say that from long experience there is only one supplier of vellum I would use and thats William Cowleys of Buckinghamshire, they have been in business over a hundred years and their work is perfection every time. I have used many paper-marblers and toolmakers over the years and have ventured into using letterpress a few times, we have two large format vintage presses here which I hope to use more of this year.

As our readers are aware I am a lover of beautiful bindings and consider it an art. Each of your works being made by hand and not outsourced means they are practically art objects. How do you feel about the sometimes eye watering secondary market valuations of your work?

Well to an extent the 'dealer' market can help to keep things in the public eye for many years, I do believe that many dealers are simply looking at the math and pricing accordingly, but yes there are a few examples of unfriendly pricing which is a pity. Personally I get more satisfaction in knowing that somebody out there got the one thing they really wanted than that a small number of people have one of everything. Im a bit of an idealist and would like to feel that handling a book or other object made by hand inspires people to really get into something, to really live it and for that magical act to reverberate throughout their lives.

Having done a bit of binding myself one hurdle has been finding the tools required to do the gold tooling for the covers, particularly the brass text pieces. How did you come on to the tool set you have?

I literally built it up over the last 10-15 years, I did inherit a significant collection of 19the and 20th century brass letters and tools (including sets in Greek and Hebrew) from the bindery I worked for, otherwise I have had tools designed and cut for each individual project. Theres a tray cabinet in the bindery with over a hundred drawers of tools and blocks which is a goldmine of ideas, sometimes I just spend an hour browsing!

Your recent publication of Peterson's translation of the Honorius looks to be another exceptional work. As you move forward with HFC do you foresee more contemporary works and translations being released?

Yes absolutely, in fact over the last year I have expanded the bindery and whether for my own imprint or for others I have been involved in at least one new publication per week. Over the last 9 years I was mostly involved in running a village pub in a place called Castle Bytham in Lincolnshire, the bindery then was a converted barn at the rear of the main building. To be honest I had outgrown it in the first few months and was looking for a larger workspace either within the village or nearby. About 12 months ago I took on a huge space in a Victorian malthouse which has since been filled with more benches, presses and so forth, a simply enormous studio but I love it!

Are you doing all of the bindery work yourself or do you have assistants? A run of hundreds of volumes is an incredible amount of work for an individual.

I am doing all the work myself I do have a bit of help with hand sewing one day a week but apart from that it's me myself and I! I was trained in a bindery established in 1903 and the prevailing attitude was pretty Victorian, the company was considered old fashioned on the 1960s and hadn't changed a bit when I worked there! I worked with a bunch of old guys who had either been letterpress trade apprentices or had gone up in the trade as bookbinders, one even had his original indenture (a form of apprentices' contact which goes back over 100 years). I actually own a set of presses and hand tools which were bought by the company when they stared as a stationers shop in the early 1900s, one of the hand tools is dateable to the 18th century (it was in a biscuit tin!) and was a treasured talisman until the company moved premises and I inherited it.

I do often hear the voices of the old binders I used to work with, turning the same presses daily that they worked at for forty years, old chaps who loved cricket, fishing and weekends away in caravans. What always tickled me was the way they gently poked fun at each other about things that happened over thirty years previously! I'm the late 1960s one of the guys had fancied himself as a songwriter and even appeared on an early television talent show, he was beaten to the prize by a singing dog, his workmates never let him forget it and thirty years later they all still sang the song on his birthday!

Do you have a particular work you feel is your masterpiece so far? One that stands out to you as an exemplar of your fantastic skills?

I guess I would have to say that the vellum edition of The Holy Books of Thelema in a leather clamshell box was pretty damn good! I got a real kick out of making all the books and boxes for all the different sets, it was over 1000 books handmade plus boxes etc so a huge commitment for one person but to think that it was the first time (since Crowley's own 1909 edition) that the Holy Books had been produced in the manner he specified, arranged exactly as the A.'.A.'. students ought to receive it. After that I think that 'The Sacred Magic of Abramelin' edited by Georg Dehn (both vellum and calfskin editions) and the 'Honorius' by Joseph Peterson are rather special.

Tell me about the re-release of "Secret Symbols of The Hell Fire Club". What type of binding and edition size can we look forward to?

The Secret Symbols of The Hell Fire Club has been an important publication for us since its first release seven years ago, it went out of print very quickly and copies are extremely difficult to find even for our members. An electronic version was made available but since then both new information and original sources have come to light which make a new edition essential. I should imagine we will produce a limited number of leather copies and a trade edition which will be sent out mainly through the United States.

The book traces the ideas and history behind the Hell Fire Club of the 18th century and gives an insight into its survival today, following clues left in the caves at West Wycombe and architecturally in the house and surrounding area, an initiatory journey is unfolded which throws light on the nature of the current of Thelema before Crowley, a mystery school with a symbolism otherwise unknown.

Have you done commission work or custom volumes for individuals or other publishers? Is that something you are open to doing?

I have done many commissions over the years and am working on a few now, mostly private manuscripts that require archival boxes or some manner of conservation but occasionally rebinding older printed books and creating blank books and artists books. Large format work is a particular favourite of mine and I love using the bigger presses to produce monsters!

I have worked with other publishers on a number of occasions and there are some well known esoteric works I have had a quiet hand in, I think in time the bindery will expand again as we continue to publish and to accept archival and private work. Who knows what the future holds...

Explore the many creations of Eamonn's Hell Fire Club Books here:

www.hellfireclubbooks.co.uk

What would Madora's Noble Phantasms be? How would they differ between classes?

This became so fucking long im so sorry @everyone

In a regular Holy Grail War, Madora would definitely be in possession of at least two Noble Phantasms - her Holy/Demonic Sword, Jörmungandr, and her dragon form.

However, something like Grand Order makes it easier to conceptualize her as she is a being who exists - no, whose existence is defined - by repeating timelines. Her Noble Phantasms for each class are as such:

Saber: Vanilla Madora - a Madora in the process of becoming a hero. Far be she from being inexperienced, and while she is aware of the many paths and ends (and even dead ends) she may face, this Madora represents a piece on the cusp of fate, whose path is mutable, and infinite possibility lies ahead. Her Noble Phantasm is her Holy Blade, Jormungandr: God Eater. It was forged from the pieces of the Demon Sword, Ganglari, and the pieces of her old training armor, with her own hands, and baptized in her own blood. Though in this sense it is “man made” the power of the Invisible Kingdom lingers on through it, commanded by her own force of will, and it was recognized as a true Holy Weapon and Yatogami’s equal, by the Rainbow Sage himself. The sword was made as a direct conceptual counter to Yatogami, whose legend originates from kami who would end a family line, and is one half of the puzzle used to slay Anankos - thus the sword has god-slaying properties.

Lancer: A Madora who has chosen to walk with Hoshido. Make no mistake - she did this to provide an escape for her Nohrian siblings. Alas, this is a Madora who understood half the heart of her Nohrian siblings, who understood their desire for a better life, but overlooked their chains of duty. This is a Madora who only knows tragedy - who has cornered herself, and forces herself to trudge down a path she does not believe in through delusion. A poor girl that even Ophelia would take pity on. Her Noble Phantasm is the culmination of the delusion imparted upon herself, her desire to go back into the past, and the climax of this existence - a reenactment of killing her beloved elder brother. La Divina Tragedia: Remember the Past, and Plunge into the Depths of Hell. An extremely strong anti-unit Noble Phantasm that ignores all buffs through the creation of a minor reality marble that strongly denies the reality of the world. Alas, all dreams end, the curtain closes on all plays, both comedy and tragedy. Awaken, child, and know your sin. The user sustains damage and is stunned through the next turn.

Archer: Not a true “Madora”. Rather, the conceptualization of “Victory” given Madora’s form through the belief of the Nohrian people after her death. In other words, the deification of a human being; a composite existence between the person, Madora, and the concept of “Victory.” In this way, she can be regarded as a divine spirit by Fate standards, although her existence is probably something closer to a Witch, whose territory is her beloved hometown. In this sense, this Madora is something a guardian deity of Nohr. This position is not something special, and any “special” human can reach this point through commendable deeds for the country, though it is a position typically gained by rulers. Her husband has been similarly deified posthumously. Her Noble Phantasm is the blessing of an absolute victory. Well, that’s what it is simplified to it’s base, and what she believes it to be. In reality it is a Reality Marble; so long as she stands with you, the whole of Nohr, past, present, and future, stands with you too. Because they stand with you, because they lend their strength to you, you will certainly be victorious. A support Noble Phantasm that buffs herself and allies with all card type damage up, an attack up, and giving all enemies 1.5% damage taken modifier.

Rider: Madora Lily. A earnest and spirited young woman who wants nothing more than to follow in her elder brother’s footsteps and bring glory to her homeland. In reality, such a Madora isn’t a single Madora from before a certain point in her life…….. She is made from two parts - Firstly, the hindsight acknowledgement from the true Madora as an entity separate from herself. Another person that she is no longer and can no longer return to, a “her” that was cast away in return for the power to change her own fate. And secondly, the sincere wishes of those who knew that cast away girl to save her. This contradiction of the person herself saying “this person cannot exist within me any longer” and others wishing to bring back that beloved girl’s smile created a paradox Madora….. Because the real thing fought earnestly to ensure a happy future. Because the real thing sacrificed herself to challenge fate. Because the magic she received opened countless possibilities, she can exist, in theory. Because the others cannot see this contradiction, because they cannot see inside the catbox, that the pure-hearted girl is no longer there, the truth that she could still exist remains in their hearts.

Madora’s corruption from this individual started as soon as she etched those markings onto her face. But, she could only decide that retroactively, and the period recognized as the point of no return, where that acknowledgement was felt by those around her, only happened after she was taken to Hoshido. Thus, while if that person could exist, she could be no more than 10, she exists as a concept as a girl of unidentifiable age, from 15-18, and embodies traits spanning all across that of her younger self. Her noble Phantasm, as such, is something that “could not exist” yet also something that did, against all odds, but once in her youth. La Primavera: Come, O Wind, Let Spring Bloom Once More. Despite it’s name, Madora was always Madora. This is not a gentle spring that comes on mild weather, but a spring brought about by rain spilt like tears by heavens sliced open by determination. Flowers as fruits of one’s labor. A command of nature itself through the powers of the Dragon’s Vein. An anti-army Noble Phantasm that lowers attack and defense, and gives a minor full-party heal. As a multi-hit full-party quick NP, it also produces many stars.

Caster: While Madora could originally use magic, this Madora is not simply that. This is a Witch Madora, the Madora sacrificed for the sake of a chance of a happy future. Or, should I say Madoras. She is the summation of every failed Madora, of every timeline where she could not achieve her absolute victory. She is the Witch of Fate, able to see into any and all fragmented universes of “her” existence. She was created, not from something like “I want to live,” or even “I want to save everyone,” in the void after her death, but simply the small wish of “I don’t want to lose.” Thus, that singular world was smashed into bits, and each fragment of that existence struggles to gain victory - the victory of everyone being saved, the victory of a happy future. However, because those Madoras are allowed to persist on in those timelines, the witch is someone who can “never win” and who has “never experienced victory.” The direct anti-thesis to Archer Madora. She holds immense power, but both the laws of whatever universe she participates in and her own self imposed status as an “observer” limits her power. ……….Like any witches born as she is, she is exceptionally cruel. Her NP is “O Fortuna: Vae Invictus”. She takes the beings of her opponents into the birth of a new universe and forces them to witness the cruellest fate she could seek for them, and their eventual deaths - not just physically, as that wouldn’t be enough to impact a Heroic Spirit, but the collapse of timespace itself, until the Throne of Heroes itself is wiped from existence. Thus, she forces them to live through the cruelest fate possible for them, and experience their very consciousness being obliterated, before taking them back to their own timeline. Of course, if she wanted to, she could just leave them there, and their physical forms would turn to dust in the timeline she stepped from, as a more practical attack, but that wouldn’t be as fun, now would it? :)

Assassin: Assassin Madora is perhaps the simplest Madora, but important nonetheless. She symbolizes, perhaps not the most important aspect, but an aspect that sets her apart from other “Kamui” existences. The will to commit herself fully to Nohr, body and soul, enough to become a servant to the country, though her existence as a “Kamui” defines her as nobility. As a person, however, perhaps even moreso than Madora Lily, this is a woman who can clearly see her situation, yet chooses to exist like this in a vain attempt for acceptance. Indeed, perhaps this feeling is the apex of girlhood. In any case, this Madora is both eager to please, and ruthlessly efficient, like the best kind of guard dog. Her specialty is slaying anyone who would threaten the Nohrian Royal Family - an assassin to slay assassins. Her NP is Semper Fidelis: My Blood is My Bond, an anti-unit NP good against assassins. Since it represents her protection of Castle Krakenburg, she imparts invincibility and instadeath resistance up upon her comrades. 

Berserker: A Madora who has, due to some circumstance, embraced her draconic blood and urges. Madora forsakes her draconic blood as something unnecessary, and perilous. So what, I wonder, would mark this change…….? Her NP is a complete return to her draconic form, and the havoc it can wrought. “Beast of the Ruined Throne: The Gods Whisper Through Blood”. A trump card that lets her face off against an enemy NP to NP. It automatically triggers an enemy’s NP, but only against herself. If she survives, she unleashes her own beat form upon them.

Ruler: This is the union between Madora, and her husband Marx. Madora fights as a queen to protect those she reigns over. Her husband joins her for their NP. This is a Madora who has succeeded in securing a future, at least for Nohr, and reigns as Queen. She wields Caduceus, a staff made from combining Jormungandr and Yatogami with her old training lance. It is both a staff of healing and a spear to harm. Her NP with her husband is the conceptual ushering in of Nohr’s Golden Age. While Archer Madora’s NP is “Nohr stands with you,” their’s is akin to “Nohr embraces you.” A combination of Marx’s Rider NP, Stella Polaris: The Light that Pierces the Endless Night, and Madora’s Twin Snake Paradox: Let the Past Revive to form The Embrace of the Dark Night: The Stars Shine for You. Marx lays down his Noble Phantasm to create a Nohr that will protect the player and power Madora up. Madora then deals party-wide damage with her Caduceus, with a chance to stun.

Avenger: A Madora whose repeated existences bear down upon her soul. In her instability, Anankos tried to posses her, only driving her further into her dark wishes. This is a Madora who has reached the extremes of her being. The echoes of Anankos resound through her blood, awakening the powers of an elder dragon within her. Her blood sings to Marx’s own draconic blood, and awakens it within him, turning him into a draconic monstrosity fused with his armor, and resulting in the sublimation of his core, hidden ideals to be followed, without anything obstructing them. This is a Madora who lashes out against the world who denies her happiness time and time again, and a Marx who she wants to lash out with her. Unfortunately for her, Marx’s inner wishes are simply “to protect her.” But as that is the only thing his draconic urge allows him to follow, things like “speech” are insignificant to him, making him seem nothing more than her lifeless puppet, though that is far from the truth. Marx fights while she commands. With no moral barrier, he can wield Siegfried to its full potential. Their Noble Phantasm is a result of Madora killing Anankos prematurely and devouring his flesh in the hopes of curing the madness he himself inflicted upon her. It is simply called Madora: God Eater, though in reality, it’s a double attack from her and Marx wherein he loans her Siegfried’s destructive power, and he powers him up through Beast of the Ruined Throne: The Gods Whisper Through Blood.