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theyearsiturnedintoaghost · 3 years

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Hello, Is This Thing On?

Hi! (as mentioned above). Do people still use this thing? I have no idea. Years ago, and I do mean YEARS ago, I had one of these. I didn’t use it for much, just reposting things, following humans I’d met in online communities, a ‘celebrity’ here or there, sometimes screaming about shit I couldn’t control into the void that is the endless scrolling interweb, and being pointless in wasting my time between classes, work, and twenty-something. Regardless, my previous tumblr had minimal followers, made minimal impact, and that was okay. It was honestly just a nice place to sort of hide in plain sight. Still be part of a social world without actually having to do much. This was also pre a billion other apps and social media outlets to express yourself or scroll mindlessly at a million other pointless things that people were posting to make you giggle or even just stop for a second and think.

Clearly, the point of this, back then, felt like something I would use to help propel my writing career. Turns out, it did not. I did not write much, if at all. And most of the time I think it was because I was scared nothing was as good as any of the other stuff I was reading from people I liked, and thought were so much cooler and smarter than me; I still feel this way all of the time, but I do realize this was me being nervous, small minded about myself, and completely unconfident.

Unfortunately, I am still most of these things a lot of the time, but recently, after getting fired from a job, having my heart broken by pretty much everyone on the planet, especially a few specific people, cancelled by all of my friends (?) - this is a thing btw. (It’s not as awful as being cancelled publicly, but it does still ruin your life, mindset, confidence, and overall physical and mental wellbeing) Getting a new job, hating it and feeling like I was going no where, and missing out on living a life I felt proud of and that I was actively participating in, I decided maybe I should just try to write it all out and see what happens.

To be frank, I expect nothing of this. I can’t fathom a world where anything I have to say truly matters to people because lets be real - everyone has this own shit and everyone is going through so much all of the time. And we all think we have something new, quirky, interesting, and important to say. And in a world that constantly shoves perfection down our throats and works so hard to make each of us feel completely inadequate to every Kardashian, Beyonce, Grande, etc., it’s hard to really think that anything I have to say will matter to anyone; at all.

(I also hate that all of my ‘perfectionist’ people were female, but maybe it’s harder to compare to Golden Boys when you are a female. Either way, there are many boys/men/theys/thems that are put on a pedestal and made out to be perfect out there, as well, and they deserve that notation as well. I just have no points of reference off the top of my head, so please forgive me; I am trying to do this in a stream of consciousness type thing.)

I mean, the truth is, I’m a fucking mess. I’m 33, single, living at home, afraid of my own shadow most of the time, and spend about 98% of my time alone. I pay for a phone plan that I literally only use to send memes to my two sisters, and that’s about it. I rarely receive texts, invites out, or even calls to make plans for something. And while a lot of this is my own doing - again, I did cut off most of the world after I realized I was sort of the joke to a lot of people - it’s still kind of pathetic, and entirely uncool. I am not a socialite, or someone cool and trendy, and to be honest, I kind of never want to be.

Which is a semi-false statement, because years ago, when I had one of these previously, I sort of hoped it would work out and that I could write and be ‘cool.’ Whatever the fuck that means. But now, years later, I’m honestly beyond glad I am not cool; not in the slightest. Maybe that’s making it to your 30s? Maybe the trade for having to create a daily routine of lathering up my body with like 9 different versions of FDA-Approved-Vampire-Juice on my skin to prevent me from looking any older than I already do, you in turn get to have a brain that finally realizes... having a ‘normal’ life is honestly pretty cool? Normal is clearly subjective here as everyone is normal, famous, notoriety, or not; They’re all still humans and people with feelings, thoughts, and emotions. This is a hard thing to realize when you see stadiums full of people screaming at Harry Styles (Boom! found a male perfect in this scatterbrain) or hundreds of paparazzi lined up to take photos of every person on a red carpet wearing clothing that costs as much as my student loan debt (Which sidenote, is VERYYYYYY much). It’s hard to fully realize that maybe some of those people who became ‘icons’ never really knew what they were getting into when they signed that deal with the Devil to make them seemingly immortal; especially in a world with the internet where everything can exist forever (or until the world explodes, clearly). But maybe getting into my 30s and removing myself from most social media outlets, even listening to the news, or caring about whatever fucking popular haircut was in this season (it’s always bangs, and I’ve already made that mistake. No thanks), that I learned to realize - the truly most important people in your life are the ones that stick with you when it’s tough. When getting out of bed is so hard your limbs ache and you cry every morning on your way to work, at your desk behind your computer screen hidden in a corner, or in a bathroom stall during your lunch break. The normalcy that comes with realizing your prayers to ‘just make it to five o’clock,’ are heard and that you are just so thankful for that that you don’t even desire the innate feeling in most of our egos to stand out, be seen, ‘Make it’ in a way that lets people notice we ‘succeeded.’ Maybe this only comes with the realization of how nice it is to go to a grocery store braless and unnoticed.

Maybe this is also something I, and so many of us in this point and shoot viral world, are trying to still learn.

Sure, a lot of days I still crave being able to make a perfect Pintrest project, practice my Late Night interview with Letterman where I sound funny, charming, and likeable to all walks of life, or recreate a recipe from the New York Times website so great that The Barefoot Contessa finds out through word of mouth, and comes to my basement hide out, and offers to give me, a fellow barefoot loving bitch, her title and crown along with a glass of wine and a kiss from her husband, Jeffery. We’ll both laugh at how lovely it feels to be Barefoot ladies who understand that wanting ‘fame’ or ‘recognition’ in your twenties is only really a pathway to destruction by your 30s.

And this is not exactly something that I learned easy. In fact, I spent most of my twenties destroying my body with drugs - plenty of hard ones - and alcohol - various kinds of the same things - in order to numb my brain from the sadness that is just... being young, lonely, scared, unsure of yourself, and nervous that all of your hopes and expectations for yourself in your ‘dream life’ are too much for what you and your actual self will ever be capable of ever becoming. That I would never become the comedian I dreamed of being, or sing the perfect song in front of a crowd of admirers, or write that best selling book to tell everyone who thought I was nothing they could go fuck themselves. It’s something I still have to remind myself, and my brain and ego, that are most likely things I will never do because those are lottery dreams. And people you know don’t actually win the lottery. And at the end of the day, I am people you know. And sometimes it breaks my own heart to realize I may never feel that rush of making a crowd laugh, or creating a piece of art that makes someone feel seen, but as Pam, from The Office said, and I am paraphrasing, ‘there is beauty in ordinary things.’ And I think reminding myself of that as I sat on the beach this summer and watched a dad teach his son to surf, and how happy they both were when he got up, gave me that brief feeling of... being okay. I won’t lie, I did cry a little at this realization at that moment, and I am slightly teary now as I write it, but I think I’m not ashamed of that because being normal means I get to feel things as I do, in that moment, and that is something I think I lacked in my desiring-bigger-flashier- twenties; actually being present in the world and your place in it. Even if that is just as small as being kind to a random person on the street.

I think that is why everything I felt I wanted to write never came out correct. It never came out ‘Perfect.’ And that was my problem for most of my life, even up until today, I’m afraid that I am a perfectionist in the ways that are preventing me from becoming... me. I’m still fearful that I am too late in ever ‘accomplishing’ anything I ever dreamed. I doubt I will ever actually write a book. I’m unsure I’ll ever make a decent living. I am beyond doubtful I am ever going to be loveable to someone whom I also want to love back. And maybe I’m a little scared that I’ll never have a kid, or that if I do have a kid, I’ll never be a decent parent. And I’m still working on breaking the cycle of thinking something has to ‘sound’ or ‘be seen as important’ to be meaningful. There is beauty in the ordinary. I’ve started to make it my mantra. Spoken in my head every time I see a teenage couple holding hands walking in town, a father holding their baby close to his chest, a woman dressed in a power suit striding through an office building or city on their way to make their own careers or push equality further. I’ve started to dream of how actual normalcy makes the real changes. How every 4th grade teacher has a chance to change some kids life.

Clearly, a lot of these personal fears I have about myself not being ‘enough,’ or doing something good enough to become successful at it and build a life out of it, are monotonous fears and privileged middle-class complaints. I’m aware they may not resonate with anyone, anything, or mean much more than just being an online public diary entry to my own meandering thoughts, but, still - I finally felt like I had to try.

So here it is, the whole truth on how I let myself become a ghost for years.

I hope someone will stick around while I just... try to explain it all, figure it all out, and hopefully make sense out of even being whatever a human who is hoping to grow even means. Hopefully, something here will resonate with someone else and we can create our own little weirdo corner of the world where we’re not seeking more than just trying to be honest with ourselves and what it means to be human. Even if that means just posting a recipe for banana bread (thank you Gwen Steffani for keeping me able to spell Banana), reposting random memes about how we all want to scream for 30 seconds and feel better, or sad-girl diary entry posts about how I ruined my own life a million times over. Oh, and maybe I’ll give you tips on how to stain your wood deck, because I spent my day doing that yesterday and basically, Home Depot is calling me to be in their ADs.

But at the core of it all, lets be very real, it’s hard to be human in so many ways. And I’m just hoping this connects with anyone. Especially any of us who wished we were different - in any way.

xoxo

-K

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erinptah · 5 years

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Super Drags review (tl;dr Show Good)

The post where I do my best to spread the Good News, that there exists a saucy gay drag-queen magical-girl animated comedy and everyone should watch it.

Okay, not everyone -- I'll give some caveats at the end -- but definitely a heck of a lot more people than Netflix has bothered to advertise it to.

Look at this! Why did nobody tell me about this??

What is Super Drags?

Fast facts:

It's a 1-season, 5-episode adult animated comedy series, released in November 2018

Here's the official page, with a free-to-view trailer

It packs more explicit, unashamed queerness into those 5 episodes than any other cartoon I can think of

The only possible competitor would be if you took the whole 5000-episode run of Steven Universe and pared it down to a supercut of Just The Gay Parts

This in spite of being produced in Brazil, which (in my broad understanding, as a total non-authority on the subject) is more oppressively, dangerously homophobic than the US

The original is in Portuguese

There is an English dub, fabulously voiced by contestants from RuPaul's Drag Race

It's wrapped in "for adults only!" warnings, not because the content is any less child-friendly than (say) your Bojacks Horsemen or your Ricks and Mortys, but because Brazilian authorities tried to get it shut down on the grounds of this much gay being Harmful For Children

It was (heartbreakingly) not renewed for a second season

Here's a promo video, in which the main characters (Portuguese, with subtitles) play Drag Race judges for Shangela, who ends up voicing Scarlet in English.

And here's a beautiful flashy music video of the big musical number! (Also Portuguese, no subtitles, but the melody and the visuals stand on their own.)

Plot and worldbuilding stuff!

The elevator pitch is "What if Charlie's Angels, but also drag queens, with superpowers, because magical-girl transformations?"

In this universe, all LGBTQ people have magical energy. The Big Bad is an evil magical-drag-queen nemesis who tries to drain our energy for her own purposes. It's like if Ursula from The Little Mermaid was a first-season Sailor Moon villain.

...sidenote, in case you were worried, the representation isn't "cis gay men and nobody else." There's a butch lesbian in the recurring cast, a genderfluid person (in that specific word!) as a one-off love interest, and all the ensemble scenes are wonderful collages of different races, body types, and gender presentations.

Our heroes also fight non-magical everyday homophobes, who get written with scathing realism.

The moment I knew the show wasn't pulling any punches was in the first episode, where a newscaster complains about being Silenced by the Law of Political Correctness, then chirps "however, we have a special guest who is thankfully above the law!"

According to the reviews I've found from Brazilian viewers, it's also pitch-perfect when it comes to local queer culture, community dynamics, slang and speech patterns, even memes. All of which flies right over my head, so here's a post (with no-context spoilers) about one viewer's favorite details.

The handful of reaction posts on Tumblr have a dramatic split between "Brazilian viewers fiercely defending the show as culturally-accurate, uplifting, and brave in a terrifying political moment" and "American viewers complaining that the show is problematic because it's a comedy about drag queens with no perfect role models and lots of sex jokes."

As the Super Drags tell their nemesis (and this is also in the first episode): "How dare you try to turn the LGBTQXYZ community against each other? We do enough of that on our own!"

In between missions, our girls work sitcom retail jobs and deal with other everyday problems. All of which are written in amazingly nuanced and thoughtful ways for a show that also features "defeating an orgy monster with a lip-sync battle."

Detailed character stuff!

Our heroes are Color Coded For Your Convenience!

The Super Drags themselves go by "she" in-uniform, and a lot of the time when out of it. Like the Sailor Starlights, only more so. I'll roll with that.

In blue: Safira Cyan, or Ralph by day, an excitable college-age kid who's built like a football player and squees like a fangirl. (She's an anime fan in the original, and for some reason all the otaku references were replaced in the dub, but you can see them in the subtitles.)

Ralph lives with her younger sister (they play video games together!) and their dad, comes out to them mid-series, and is very shippable with another young guy who starts out reciting the homophobic beliefs he was raised with but whose heart clearly isn't in it.

Safira's weapon is a classic magical-girl wand that casts protective force-fields. Which are shaped like condoms. Because of course.

In yellow: Lemon Chiffon, aka Patrick, the oldest of the group and generally the smartest/most strategic. In most cases, the other two treat her as the de facto team leader -- unless she pushes it too far.

By day she's a single guy with thick thighs and thinning hair, who has some body-image insecurities on the dating scene. And this show has Things To Say about unrealistic beauty standards within the community...not to mention, about masc guys who look down on anyone too flaming or femme because straight people disapprove.

Lemon's weapon is a fluffy boa that can be used as a whip or a lasso, especially when there's a bondage joke to be made.

In red: Scarlet Carmesim, also Donizete, the loudest and most aggressive teammate with the most cutting insults, who refuses to suppress that attitude in an attempt to appease racists. (But will give it a shot when trying not to get fired.)

Donny still lives in her religious/homophobic mom's apartment, and I'm pretty sure it's because neither of them can afford to move out. Her rock-solid sense of fierce self-confidence is the reason it doesn't bring her down.

Scarlet's weapon is a fan that she uses to throw shade. Yeah, you knew that was coming.

The Charlie to these angels is Champagne, who runs operations from a cool magitech compound and breaks the fourth wall at the end to petition for viewers' support in getting a second season.

...we let her down, folks :(

So here's a thing. The show never draws a sharp line between "people who become drag queens because it's a way they're driven to express themselves as gay men" and "people who become drag queens because they were trans women all along." That's consistent with how South American LGBT+ culture works. (Again: best of my knowledge, not personally an authority on this, etc etc.)

Many of the characters, including Champagne, never describe themselves in ways that translate to one of our sharply-defined Anglo-USian identity categories. And I'm not going to try to impose any English labels on them here.

But I can say (in contrast to Safira, Lemon, and Scarlet), Champagne never switches out of her "drag" name/voice/presentation, not even in the most candid off-duty scenes, and still has the same bustline when naked in the tub. Make of that what you will.

You Should Watch This Show

If you have a Netflix subscription, watch Super Drags!

If you ever do a Netflix free trial month in the future, make a note to yourself to watch Super Drags!

It's one of their original productions, so there's no risk of missing your chance because the license expired. But it's absolutely not getting the promotion it deserves. Which means potentially interested viewers won't find it, which means Netflix will think there's no interest, which means they'll keep not promoting it...etc etc etc.

No idea if there's any chance of getting it un-canceled, but maybe we can at least convince them to release it on DVD.

And the sheer gutsiness it took for a group of Brazilian creators to produce this show in the first place -- that deserves to be rewarded with your attention.

In spite of various anti-discrimination laws that sound good on paper, the country has serious problems with homophobia, transphobia, and anti-LGBT violence (warning, article has a violent image which is only partly blurred).

Maybe the creators could've gotten a second season if they made this one softer, less sexually-explicit, more restrained...but honestly? I bet that wouldn't have helped.

Consider Danger & Eggs, an Amazon original cartoon. It was made in the US, thoroughly child-friendly, and restricts its LGBT+ representation to things like "characters go to a Pride celebration...where nobody ever names or describes the quality they're proud of."

And it didn't get renewed past the first season either.

(Note: it had a trans woman showrunner and a queer-heavy creative staff, so I blame all that restraint on executive meddling, not the creators themselves. The showrunner even liked the tweet of my review that complains about it.)

So there's something very satisfying about how Super Drags went all-out, balls-to-the-wall (sometimes literally), all the rep explicit and unapologetic, packing every 25-minute episode with all kinds of queer content that would be censored or muted elsewhere -- but here it's exaggerated and celebrated and just keeps coming.

(...as do jokes like that, and I'm not sorry.)

Okay, there are a few legitimate reasons to not watch this show

Some caveats.

None of these things are Objectively Bad Problems that the show itself should be shamed for...but maybe they're genuinely not your cup of tea.

It does have actual Adult Content beyond "the existence of gay people." This show loves to swing barely-clothed cartoon genitalia in your face. There is, as mentioned, an orgy monster. If that kind of humor is going to bother you too much to appreciate the rest of the show, give it a pass.

I wasn't kidding about how realistic the homophobes are. Opening of the first episode has a guy trying to murder a busload of people while shouting slurs at them. If that level of hatred on-screen is gonna crush your soul, even in a show about sparkly queens flying to the rescue with dick-shaped magical weapons, don't push yourself.

Any fiction with this much crossdressing and gender-transgressing is going to hit some trans viewers in a bad way. Because trans people are such a broad group, with so many different experiences, that Every Possible Trope Involved pushes somebody's buttons. (See also: "some trans readers complain about a storyline that turns out to be drawn from a trans writer's actual life experience".) If this show goes does gender things that turn out to be personally distressing for you...or even just distressing for this specific time in your life...don't feel obligated to keep watching.

It has aggressively-sassy queer characters making jokes and calling each other things that are affectionate in-context, but would not be okay coming from straight/cis people. If you can't wrap your head around that, go watch something else.

Other Than That, Go Watch This Show

For all its big heart, big ambitions, and big gay energy, Super Drags is tiny enough that I've binged the whole show 2 times in the past 2 weeks. Thankfully, it's highly re-watchable -- lots of fun background gags and subtle foreshadowing that you don't catch on the first round.

(Pausing one last time to appreciate that a show with elements like "the high-tech robot assistant is called D.I.L.D.O." can be subtle at all, let alone be this good at it.)

I've also paged through all the fanart on Tumblr and Deviantart, looked up the single fanfic on the AO3, and started brainstorming plans to request it in Yuletide next year. Someone, please, come join me in (the English-language side of) the itty-bitty fandom for this ridiculous, glittery, over-the-top, fabulous series.

#Super Drags #lgbtq #recommendations #recs

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sadienita · 5 years

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Step 12: Write Your Vows

Jihoon x Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Planning a wedding in 13 easy steps.

(Sidenote: let me know if you cry cuz I sure did)

Jihoon liked to keep his writing to himself. Ever the perfectionist he never showed you something half done. Even when he would write songs for you he wanted them finished and produced before you heard them.

And so it was unsurprising that he wanted to wait until his vows for you were written and perfect before you heard them. You had decided early on that you both wanted to write your own vows. You did research together on what you wanted to write and decided on a format that you would both follow. It wasn’t too long and it felt right for the both of you and then you went away and worked on what you wanted to say.

Truthfully you had both been done your vows for a while now but neither of you wanted to share yet. As much as you loved him and he you neither of you loved crying in front of the other. You knew they were good tears but you didn’t say mushy things or “I love yous” all the time and you knew that you would probably both get emotional hearing the other’s vows.

But at this point you had no choice left. The wedding was in a couple of weeks and you did want to hear what the other had written and make sure you could agree on them before reading them in front of your friends and family so you had both decided today was the day to do so.

“Okay,” sighed Jihoon. “Let’s get this over with.”

You hit his arm playfully as he grinned at you. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Okay yeah you’re right. I just don’t wanna cry.” He took a deep breath and then started at you. “I’m ready.”

“Do you wanna go first?”

“No. Do you?”

“Jihoon,” you whined. “One of us has to start.”

“Then stop being a baby and start,” he ducked as you swung a pillow at him.

“Fine, I can go first. That’s actually better cuz then I won’t be all choked up and then have to read.”

“Hey wait-”

“Too late! I’m going.” You chimed. “Jihoon, on this day I-”

“Oh my god.”

You stared up from your paper. “What?”

“I was supposed to write your name in this wasn’t I?”

“Jihoon!”

He ducked as you swung the pillow again. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m sorry I got really caught up on the content I forgot that part. I have two weeks I’ll fix that tonight it’s an easy fix, keep going.”

You tried to roll your eyes at him but you couldn’t keep the grin off your face.

“Jihoon, on this day I affirm my love to you. You are the light of my life. You have grown to be my best friend and the one person in this world I am closest too. I’ve given you my heart and today I join you in marriage to live out my life by your side.

I promise to love you through everything. I promise to love you when you stand on stage with a thousand people cheering for you. I promise to love you when you’re still in the studio at 3 am working hard. I promise to love you through the good and the bad, the highs and lows of life. I promise to be there for every single win and every single loss and to support you through it all.

Jihoon, I promise to care for you. I promise to take care of you when you’re sick. I promise to keep you in bed when you have the flu instead of letting you go to work and get everyone sick like I know you would. I promise to be there when you’re burnt out. I promise to be the place you can go whenever you feel unsure or insecure. I promise to be your home.

Jihoon, I promise to respect and cherish you. On the days when we don’t see eye to eye I promise to listen to you and work to understand. I promise to love you for the wonderful man that you are and to never forget that, in neither anger nor hurt.

Lee Jihoon, on this day I take you to be my husband. Our love will glow eternal. It will last forever, permanent like metal. With this ring, I wed thee.”

You took a shaky breath, proud of yourself for reading through and not crying too much. You looked up to see Jihoon silently sobbing.

“Oh, Hoonie,” you wrapped him in a hug as he composed himself. “Are you okay.”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “Yeah I just got something really big in my eye.”

“Jihoon!”

“I’m kidding,” he laughed. “That was really beautiful. Maybe I should have gone first though, I don’t know if I’ll make it through.”

“If you want to wait…”

He shook his head. “No you know what, I’m already crying might as well keep crying.”

He took a deep breath as steadily as he could.

“On this day I affirm my love to you. You have become my best friend. You’ve been by my side for six years and I can’t imagine where I would be without you. You are the kindest, sweetest, and most caring person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Today I give to you every bit of myself.”

His voice was already unsteady but he continued.

“I promise to make time for you. I promise to talk to you as much as I can, even when I’m halfway around the world. I promise to enjoy big moments and little moment with you every day. I promise to come home to you every night and drift in dreams with you. I promise to be there next to you in the morning because the best thing to see when I wake up is your smile.

I promise to love you every single minute. I promise to tell you that I love you in a million different ways. I promise to say those three words out loud but I also promise to show you my love, to care for you and help you and prove my love for you through more than just my words.

I promise to stand by you no matter what. I promise to be there for every day, good or bad. I promise to take care of you when you’re sick, and to hold you when you cry. I promise to laugh with you and smile with you. I promise to celebrate all for the victories with you, both the big and the small. I promise to be your safe haven in the middle of any storm.

On this day, I marry you. Our love is a circle, there is no end, it is never ending and eternal. With this ring, I wed thee.”

He barely got out the last few words before his voice broke. You pulled him into a hug and sobbed into his shoulder while he cried into yours.

“I know I don’t get mushy that often,” he mumbled. “But you really are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“And you me.”

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #svt #svt imagines #seventeen one shots #svt one shots #woozi #woozi imagines #jihoon #jihoon imagines #lee jihoon #fluff #seventeen fluff #wedding planning drabbles #guys i cried #i cried real tears on this one #also f**k u jordan for making me realize i would have to write vows to jihoon #this night has been such a ride

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jccnwoos · 5 years

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hello all !! hope you’re doing well, i am pandora, and i’m so so excited to be here !! this is my newest kid kang joonwoo, otherwise known as above’s leader, main rap & self-proclaimed dad ! you can catch him stressed 98% of the time, but he’s a true sweetheart and wants everyone to be happy ! i have yet to make him a plot page, but you can find some trivia and wanted connections for him below. if you want to get a thread started, like this and i’ll come give you love ! i’ll be drifting around for the rest of the night, i can’t wait !

background !

so he’s from a seoul, south korea ! he appreciates the countryside so much & loves the peace and quiet but he’s a city boy through and through !! it’s his home for life !!

son to a mother, kang chorong ! known for her roles in k-dramas ! she was quite the 80′s star, playing the pretty backstabbers lol !! her roles switched to more mature ones eventually, until she decided to call it quits and step out of the limelight. it shocked everybody because instead of marrying a fellow celebrity she fell back in love with her high school sweetheart ! who was....not famous oidoiewjfoe

so much of her life had attention focused on her, so now she wanted to live a quieter life ! so she was a little older to just start having children but she was like f it ! at 40 she got a surrogate mother to have her baby and boom ! joonwoo was born !

this is how he got to be so nurturing ! being an only child to a wealthy family, he was covered in love and ever since has vowed to pass it on to others !

she was kept out of the spotlight for a little bit, but the second they heard of him they were like ooh ?? hollywood’s next film baby !! so this began the spiral of his high expectation’s & people-pleasing tendencies !

her legacy was over, but to chorong, her son’s was just beginning ! so there began her attempts at introducing him to the acting scene !

it was quickly evident he was much, much more interested in music ! when he’d be sent to auditions as a kid, he’d just spend his time listening to his favorite songs as he waited !

his mom started picking up on this, and at 15 she started getting him into vocal & instrument lessons ! all that was good & he knew she meant well but he wanted to rap more than anything and he was like mom...i don’t like attention like that !!

but ?? she didn’t really listen to that part ! flash forward, and he became a trainee for abve ent. at nineteen. he still thinks a lot of it has to do with his mom being famous & that she pulled a few strings for him, so when he got there he kept that part as lowkey as he could but !! word spreads quick. anyways he was v interested in showing his talents opposed to letting his family name get him places.

worked v hard until debut !! a very nurturing personality even when he was a trainee, so they saw that and named him leader ! debuting with above was...surreal to say the list but he was so v excited to make his own name for himself !

things have been going great, but joonwoo really really wants to start to step out the spotlight. sure, he loves above and performing, but he was always more of the brains & more than anything wants to become a lyricist / producer ! also reeeeally wants to go to college since he never did after becoming a trainee sigh

onto his personality / lifestyle !

he is....a very loving soul ! be it platonic or romantic, he cares a lot for anyone he meets v fast ! sure it gets him hurt a bit but he believes everyone deserves care and has made it his mission to deliver it to anyone who never got it.

he can be loving, but when it’s work-time he’s in grind mode ! very passionate about whatever he does so even though he likes to have fun, he knows when to focus.

he can also be a bit serious ?? more towards his members, but when he knows their out of line he steps in as the parent like everyone stop !! asks everyone when they’re going out & for how long, probably gets called overbearing / a party pooper behind his back but it’s because he caaaaares !

you can catch him always striking up conversation with staff & the other members !! very talkative & thankfully has not caught that rude celebrity bug

he is over-ambitious, and with that comes a load of people pleasing !! he just wants to make his family proud because he’s a momma’s boy and loves her v much so he wants to make her proud by getting famous ! often he overestimates his energy which is never good but he’s trying his best !

he can speak korean, english, & is sadly attempting at chinese and japanese ! he’s native in the first, near fluent in the second, and wants to learn the last 2 to better connect with international fans.

has baby & puppy fever omg !! he’s so soft for them and for sure is the type to get all giddy when babies are brought to fansigns ! also he has a white puppy suni who he treats like his true daughter ! when they’re promoting she stays w / his parents !

sidenote - his niece, eunah, is always in ig pictures with him lmao !! she’s like a little sister, tagging along & he’s such a kid person so he’s always like yay !!

the fanservice type for sure - he’s so okay with the boyfriend personality they market him with so he’s always doing vlives and talking to the cameras all sweet & doing cute little things ! he’s genuinely thankful for their fanbase bc he never expected to have like a “fandom” of his own so !! super stoked.

wanted connections !

besties ofc !! he needs someone to joke with and confide in !

a messy friend ! someone who joonwoo has to always care about just a little more bc they’re always getting themselves in trouble. let him parent you !

a fling, give me the on-again off-again tension !

exes, maybe even as trainees ? plus if they’re staff for above & have to always be around each other !

joonwoo’s such a lovebug so a crush would be great !!

performing buddies !! someone joonwoo can always look for to practice with !

childhood friends perhaps ?? as a reference he’s from seoul !

someone please take hm out so he can de-stress

roomies ? roomies !

competitors ! either they’re often compared or they’re just at each other’s throats all the time, somebody who would make joonwoo not-so-nice would be great !

#out of this universe // ooc.#i swear i'm not usually this late & unprepared!!!#abveintro

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