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youcouldmakealife · 1 year

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SOTM: Various, online chatter; that’s enough internet for today

For the prompt: How hot is Jared? Twitter's best explainers

Forgive me any formatting sins -- I aimed for clarity over authenticity, but who knows if tumblr will oblige on that front.

“How’s the internet doing?” Dave asks.

“Well,” Andreas says. “It’s — technically good news, but in a way you probably don’t want to hear the details of?”

“That sounds ominous,” Dave says.

“Do you know what shipping means?” Andreas asks. “Not the—“

“You know, you’re right,” Dave says, literally backing into his office. “I don’t want to know.”

“I didn’t think so,” Andreas says, saluting Dave with his coffee, then goes to check out what’s happening on twitter. He thinks he’s had more than enough of AO3 for the foreseeable future.

On Twitter:

I’ve decided to block everyone who says something shitty about Bryce Marcus or Jared Matheson in the next while and I think my hockey twitter experience is going to greatly improve as a result

This is absolute genius I’m doing it

WAIT JARED MATHESON IS CANUCKS DILF’S SON?

HOLY SHIT JARED MATHESON IS CANUCKS DILF’S SON

OH MY GOD THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.

Damn now we know he’s going to stay beautiful.

So does Bryce clearly. Lock that upppp.

HOW COME THERE ISN’T A WHOLE JARED MATHESON FANDOM.

Nevermind fam just found out there is in fact a fandom and they are losing their dang MINDS right now.

A selection of tweets liked by Bryce Marcus’ lurking account:

Look if I landed Jared Matheson I too would tattoo his signature on my chest.

I would tattoo his PICTURE.

How is it that Bryce Marcus is a multi-millionaire who routinely is in the top twenty in scoring and clearly takes care of his appearance and dresses better than 95% of hockey players, and yet I’m still like ‘nice work landing that husband, bro’.

You know that if Marcus and Matheson could reproduce they would have the most beautiful children

Sweet mitts too

Every single picture or video I’ve managed to find of Bryce Marcus and Jared Matheson in the same place Jared is like 😐 and Bryce is like 😍 how did we just figure this out now

I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST REALLY HAPPY TO BE IN VANCOUVER 😭

“Babe,” Jared says. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Bryce says. “I’m not doing anything. Go back to sleep.”

“It’s the middle of the night,” Jared groans, slinging an arm over Bryce’s hip as he buries his face in Bryce’s good shoulder. Bryce’s hand comes up to absently pet his hair, and Jared falls back asleep that way, Bryce’s fingers carding through his hair as he scrolls through god knows what with his other hand.

On AO3:

Tags: Bryce Marcus Matheson/Jared Marcus Matheson/Julius Halla, I was really tempted to put Julius Halla Matheson but I think that’s enough chaos for right now, this is how I’m coping as a Hallason shipper, with OT3s, and threesomes, au just in that erin matheson doesn’t exist, sry erin it’s not personal

Tags: Bryce Marcus/Jared Matheson, no plot just vibes, soft shit, I literally just got here but, Bryce Marcus is a bottom you cowards,

Archive Warnings: Underage

Tags: Bryce Marcus/Jared Matheson, Rafael Sanchez, Just like the regular level of underage jared was when he met bryce nothing sketchy, or sketchier than reality lol, meet cute, my hc of how they met,

“If this is about Jared I’m hanging up on you,” Stephen says as he picks up his phone.

“You knew, didn’t you!” Beth says.

Stephen hangs up the phone, and puts it back on the table, face down.

It, of course, immediately vibrates. Gabe looks at it, then at Stephen.

“Don’t give me that look,” Stephen says.

Gabe continues to blink mildly as it goes to voicemail, then starts to vibrate again.

“You talk to her then,” Stephen says.

“Hi Beth,” Gabe says. “How are you? Yes, I did know who my linemate was married to. No, I didn’t think to tell you. Well, because I’m not sure how it’s relevant to you, Elisabeth.”

Stephen smirks at Gabe as his face grows continually wearier. His fault for not just hanging up — it may be mercenary, but it means Stephen doesn’t have to listen to whatever Beth’s telling Gabe.

“Let me give you Stephen,” Gabe says.

Sometimes Stephen forgets that Gabe has spent a little too much time around him for his own good.

‘Fuck you’, Stephen mouths, but Gabe just smiles and continues to hold his phone out.

On tumblr:

The Bryce Marcus/Jared Matheson tag has doubled in the last 36 hours. You guys okay?

Can’t sleep gotta write fic.

I think I speak for all of us when I say, from the bottom of my heart: no.

But like in a good way!

Where my Julius/Jared shippers at? How y’all doing?

Well we found out Jared Matheson is actually gay and married to a man literally from the lips of Julius Halla…in the context of telling us he’s married to a completely different dude and also now I’m legitimately worried about their friendship since he just outed his bestie so idk you tell me.

This.

Do we change it to ‘Jared Marcus Matheson/Bryce Marcus Matheson’ or Jared Matheson/Bryce Marcus’ or is it chaos or —

The AO3 tag wranglers have been by and they’ll all redirect to ‘Jared Matheson’ and ‘Bryce Marcus’ so don’t worry.

But why isn’t it redirecting to ‘Marcus Matheson’?

Show us the papers and we’ll do it. Legal name change documentation please.

You have all been shoving these definition of Average Dude hockey players in my face all ‘look at this beautiful man’ and none of you showed me Jared Matheson, Actually Beautiful Man? What is the MATTER with you people.

You have been in the wrong corner of hockey fandom trust me. his beauty was Known

east coast bias even in hockey rpf smh

Want some fic recs? OBVIOUSLY.

Hey remember a few years back when we all made fun of Bryce Marcus for not knowing his own initials judging by that JBM necklace? Wikipedia says Jared’s middle name is Bradley

JARED’S MIDDLE NAME IS BRADLEY!!!!!!!

I would like to submit a formal apology to Bryce Marcus who a) can spell b) is the most romantic man alive and c) has clearly been TRYING to get caught this whole time.

#fic snippet #SOTM #jared matheson #bryce marcus #Andreas Krause #dave summers #stephen petersen #gabe markson #beth petersen #julius halla

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bropunzeling · 8 months

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ok i haven’t finished my reread which is why don’t have a comment yet but i was thinking about a marriage bets post-retirement time stamp the other day cause of the scene where leon talks about wishing he could teleport so he wouldn’t miss things with his family

Leon surveys their room with his hands on his hips. "I feel like I'm forgetting something."

From the bed, Matthew asks, "Clothes?"

Leon rolls his eyes. "Yes."

"Shoes?"

"Yes."

"Your one rain jacket?"

Leon reaches down into his suitcase and pokes at said jacket; it makes a crinkling sound. "Yes."

"Gifts for the kids?"

"We shipped those ahead." And wasn't Kim thrilled, immediately sending Leon six eye roll emojis and a video of Alex and Katrin bouncing off the walls with glee over their new roller hockey gear. Fifteen minutes later he got another message on WhatsApp: you and your husband owe me a window

"Phone charger?"

"Yes," Leon groans, standing up and crossing the room to the bed so he can glare better. Matthew's lying down, looking at his phone, barely paying attention to Leon at all.

"Outlet converter?" Matthew's still not looking at him. His feet are crossed at the ankle, calves even skinnier than they were a year ago. Leon reaches down and rubs his thumb along Matthew's ankle, sliding over the bone to the top of his foot, around to the sole, until he can dig his thumbnail right in the arch.

Matthew hisses, legs flailing as he tries to kick Leon. Leon dodges, obviously, even if his reaction times are a bit slower than they used to be. Two years of retirement is making him soft.

A minute later, they're both on the bed, Leon sprawling halfway on top of Matthew, Matthew's arm tight around his waist. The phone is somewhere beneath them, got lost in the first five seconds. Matthew's other hand reaches for his face, fingertips tracing Leon's hairline, the top of his beard. He keeps saying Leon looks like a lumberjack or a mountain man, that it's like he never left Canada at all, let alone five years ago, but any complaining in his voice is undercut by how careful his hands are as he touches Leon's jaw.

Maybe Leon will shave before they leave, grow the beard back while they're in Germany. Half the fun is when it's shorter, the way he can leave splotchy pink marks on the sensitive insides of Matthew's thighs.

"Yes, I packed the outlet converters," Leon says belatedly, turning his head to dig his chin into Matthew's shoulder.

Matthew hums and turns as well, so that they're nose to nose. His hand cups Leon's face, fingertips pressing down, holding Leon close. His hands are getting softer, losing their callouses; his ring is warm from body heat.

"You know, we could stay longer," he says, breath hot against Leon's mouth. "Not like we have anywhere else to be."

"You have that shit for ESPN in September," Leon counters.

"I don't have to be in the studio. Zoom exists."

"You hate staying up that late," Leon replies. He closes his eyes, tilts his face so their foreheads are pressed together, until he can feel the solidity of Matthew with him, bone on bone. "Maybe another trip in December."

Matthew hums. "That'd be nice. Christmas or something." His thumb brushes Leon's cheekbone. "Didn't you say there's all those little markets?" Leon nods. "Mom and Dad would like that."

Leon pulls Matthew in tighter; listens to Matthew's breaths, in and out against his cheek. Thinks about that, his parents and Matthew's, Kim and her family, Matthew's siblings and theirs. Of spending the holidays in his first home, with the person who is his second.

"Yeah," he says. "I think so too."

#ask meme #marriage bets #maggie this request made me feel so many soft things god

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epicstuckyficrecs · 1 year

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Weekly Recap | November 14th- December 31st 2022.

Happy New Year everyone!

One thing I did not have on my bingo card for 2022 was loosing interest in Stucky in favour of a four month old Stranger Things ship of all things, but alas, here we are ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I still love Stucky and I will always ship it, but unfortunately my brain has latched on to this shiny new ship and it just sparks more joy at the moment. So I guess what I'm saying is... I don't know how frequently I will be updating this blog in the future, if at all. I'm not deleting anything, the ask box will remain open, and I'll still be around! But I'm afraid this is the end of the Weekly Recaps as you've known them for the last... three to four years. I hope you've enjoyed them!

Complete

Work Husbands by darter_blue/ @darter-blue (Modern AU, Office Romance, Christmas | 4K | General): 5 times the office calls Bucky and Steve work husbands and one time they forget the 'work'

The stars look very different today by Bittersweet_in_Boston (Post-TFATWS, Endgame Fix-It | 3K | Explicit): “So what’s the mission?” he asks Fury once his belly is full. “Do I get a briefing or what?” “Patience,” Fury says, maddeningly calm. His utility suit is, of course, black, and Bucky has a brief, hysterical thought of him wearing a giant leather duster over it. “You’ll be briefed when we get there.” “Where is there? And why me?” Bucky doesn’t know why he’s being obstreperous, except that he’s flying through space at thousands of miles an hour with a dead man who won’t tell him anything. “Someone’s been asking for you,” says Fury, answering only his second question. And again Bucky thinks of Steve.

Bucky Barnes and the Christmas Spirit by this_wayward_life/ @wayward-lives (Modern AU, Christmas | 3K | Teen): Bucky's never celebrated Christmas. Steve sets out to change that.

sugar, spice and everything nice by buckyismybicycle/ @buckyismybicycle (Modern AU, Christmas | 3K | General): A couple of confused baristas, two cat adoptions and a cuddle pile later, Bucky has a perfect Christmas.

Dashing Through the Snow by HaniTrash/ @hanitrash (University AU, A/B/O | 7K | Explicit): Steve hates Bucky. Bucky hates him, too, so that’s fine. But when they’re forced to work together and co-teach a class, that anger begins to fade as they slowly learn more about each other. A work trip gone wrong, though, forces them to become much closer than either one ever expected…

Jingle Bell Rock by mxaether, Oh_i_swear/ @oh-i-swear-writes (Modern AU, Office Romance, Christmas | 19K | Explicit): Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes both work for Stark Industries and are lucky enough to have been invited on the company Christmas retreat. Unfortunately, neither of their partners can make it. Thanks to a mess up with the room booking it seems they're going to be spending a whole lot more time together than either had planned or wanted, but they seem pretty determined to 'lighten' things up, somehow...

WIP

💙 hey now, you’re an all star (get your game on, go play) by buckyismybicycle/ @buckyismybicycle (NHL Hockey AU | 18/? | 55K | Explicit): Boston Bruins trade notorious party animal/human disaster Bucky Barnes to the Dallas Stars, and captain Steve Rogers is not impressed when Fury puts him on babysitting duties. But, as he gets to know Bucky - really gets to know Bucky - he wonders if maybe the media has got it all wrong - very, very wrong.

All the Ways to Say I Love You That Don’t Work by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy (hutchabelle)/ @buckybarnesdeservestobehappy (Post-WS | 7/10 | 15K | Explicit): Finally free from the grips of Hydra, Bucky Barnes needs all the help he can get to acclimate to life in the twenty-first century. Steve’s always at Bucky’s side, providing support, explaining things, and throwing a reassuring arm around his shoulders, which gives Bucky all kinds of warm feelings. The other Avengers notice their closeness, as well. When Bucky overhears a discussion about whether or not Steve and he are dating, he isn’t bothered. He likes being with Steve, and he likes being treated respectfully. Determined to let Steve know how much Bucky cares about him, he uses his research on modern dating to woo his best friend. As he ratchets up his campaign to catch Steve’s attention, sparks fly. Or maybe those sparks were there all along.

#weekly recap #stucky #stucky fic #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #stucky fic rec

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goldheartedsky · 1 month

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tagged by my beloved @ongreenergrasses for this writer's ask so here we go!!

1) how many works do you have on AO3?

Right now, 192, though some of them are art. So if we're talking strictly *fics*, then I think around 180?

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

a whopping 1,012,726!!!! 😵‍💫

3) What fandoms do you write for?

Right now it's almost entirely TOG, but I have written for Captain America, Agent Carter, Wolf, Close Enemies, and there are a few orphaned hockey RPF fics written by me floating around Ao3 🫣

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Carry the Field, When All The Boys Can’t Be Men, Fireproof, Lines in the Sand, and Tripping On Stars which, honestly I kind of expected, though it does bum me out that none of my AndyBooker fics made it into the top 5

5) Do you respond to comments?

almost always unless it's like... real weird or an emoji that I don't know how to respond to hahah

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I might have to go with Beginning to Feel the Years, solely because it's so open ended with the angst. I really love angst with a happy ending because I love a little ray of hope through the clouds, but the morning after this fic is just going to be so hard, no matter what.

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I really gotta hand it to North Star for the softest ending in the world. I said fuck the haters and gave Andy a husband, 2 kids, and a picket fence with zero regrets

8) Do you get hate on fics?

not usually, people tend to save that for Tumblr, but I did get a little whining on Change Your Ticket when I started redeeming Francesca the way she deserved.

9) Do you write smut?

the fact that this is even a question and not an automatic yes is so funny. Of course I write smut. Raunchy smut, romantic smut, angsty smut, you name it, I've written it.

10) Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Other than old Bandom crossover fics, I don't think so! I think the only thing that might count as a crossover fic is the MajidxManuel Wolf/Close Enemies fics

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

NO thank god 🥲

12) have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, but I've gotten a few podfics done by @cookiemom6067

13) have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no, but I'd honestly love to cowrite one!

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

As much as I want to say it's AndyBooker, I really gotta give it up to Steve/Bucky. They were the blueprint for a lot of my shipping patterns now.

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Everything gets finished eventually, though it might take me a bit right now

16) What are your writing strengths?

Other than my smut writing skills, I think either dialogue or handling a lot of tough topics with nuance. People in fandom right now love their black and white subjects and I am all about that grey matter.

17) what are your writing weaknesses?

action sequences, without a doubt.

18) thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I tend to either keep it to small little pieces of dialogue in latinized form (especially with stuff like Arabic/Yiddish) but with Prodigal Son, I really wanted the language to be a little symbolic of how othered Ilan feels. Because most people can't read Hebrew, keeping it in its original form felt the most isolating. If you're not Jewish and know Hebrew, you won't know what Ilan's saying unless you *try* to translate it, which is more than what he gets in the fic.

So I think it can be an interesting plot device, depending on how you use it.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter but I was like...12 and that fandom got abandoned quick ahahah

20) Favorite fic you’ve written?

FAVORITE? Oof I usually say the Cherry Wine fics or North Star, but I'm gonna broaden my answer this time and offer a couple little one shots. I REALLY love Color Him Father just because I love the idea of transmasc!Booker, and then the one I love that doesn't get enough love is From Adam’s Rib, my golem!Winter Soldier fic

tagging @druckkugelschreiber @quinbi @captain-grammar and @shatterthefragments, as well as anyone else who wants to do this!

#ask games #writers meme

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dadvans · 3 months

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20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by the lovely @rcmclachlan!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

37 + 2 Orphaned Works on main (and two fics that have been removed from AO3 but reposted on Tumblr) 3 under a sock account 1 on a shared account

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

256,810

3. What fandoms do you write for?

All current WIPs are either Hockey RPF or Supernatural

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

five theories about victor "my husband" nikiforov (+ one fact) [YOI]

Family Dinner [The Old Guard]

Lonely Hearts Club [YOI]

the warmest part of winter [YOI]

Modern Marvels [Rick and Morty]

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to, but get overwhelmed pretty quickly. I'm trying to be better about this!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

the blue house [Hockey RPF, SidGeno]. I would consider it an ambiguously optimistic ending instead of unhappy, but it definitely was written for an angst fest!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the warmest part of winter, which is at risk of being too cutesy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've never seen anything specific on AO3, but I know some people got pretty annoyed with some tropes I helped popularize in Yuri On Ice fandom (Victor Nikoforov Has a Foot Fetish, Yuuri Katsuki is a Huge Slut)

9. Do you write smut?

I sure do!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written?

Sort of. Some people have considered Not Just Nothing [SPN] a crossover instead of an AU. It's a Ken Doll AU.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I've seen

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, and it is honestly the biggest compliment in the world

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I don't know if I should be revealing this, but I was definitely one of the people who wrote Popular Slut Club under the SturgeonGuy29 name 🤫

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

What an impossible question! Probably SidNate, considering they've been making me see shrimp colors for 6 years now.

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh god, I don't want to jinx anything here. I really do intend to finish everything I start writing. I have a doc called Starz 4Ever, where Geno becomes a porn star out of spite.

16. What are your writing strengths?

When my dialogue is good, it's really good. I think very highly of my characterization.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing shit!

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I used to do this, and I meaningfully don't anymore unless it's crucial for the plot. I was actually embarrassed going back to a Yuri on Ice fic to see I had written some Victor dialogue in Cyrillic.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I want to say I was writing Seiya/Usagi for Sailor Moon in like, 1999 or 2000, but I couldn't tell you what it was about or where to find it.

20. Favorite fic you have written?

I'm really fond of Say When. Sid/Nate/Andy feels so personal to me at this point. It has my favorite sex scene I've ever written, and I'm eager to post more for the universe.

I also am still proud of we should be stars and perfect tens (Rick and Morty, heed the tags), which is a little rougher with age but I think the execution of two parallel narratives both written in second perspective is well done, and the blue house considering the subject matter.

Tagging: anyone who wants to do it!

#about me #delaney writes #fic

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tabbycat-of-hatchetfield · 3 months

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Hatchetfield is No Place For a Tabby Cat - Chapter 4 - Night in the “Haunted” House

That night, dinner was served on the couch. It had been a stressful day of moving and unpacking, so stressful, in fact, that the contents of the desk that had been left for her had completely slipped Tabby’s mind. She came downstairs at 6:00 to find bowls of Velveeta instant mac and cheese sitting on the wooden coffee table.

“I just didn’t have the energy to get to the grocery store,” her mother chuckled from her seat in the argyle-patterned armchair, “Microwave pasta tonight, hope you don’t mind.”

“Nah, that’s fine.” Tabby crashed on the couch beside her father, who was lounging back with his bunny slippers on.

“You two decide on rooms yet?” He asked between bites of Velveeta, waggling a finger at his children. Levi paid no attention, for he was sprawled out on the floor, his eyes glued to Bluey on his tablet.

“I took the attic.” Tabby picked up her bowl and stirred the lumpy, artificially yellow pasta around to release heat. “Levi took the one right next to yours.”

“I’ll set up the guest bedroom in the one next to his, then.” Mrs. Danehower folded her hands thoughtfully in her lap. “The ground floor one could become an office, perhaps.”

“What do we need an office for?” Her husband chuckled good-heartedly. “I can grade my papers in my office at the school, and you’ve been out of a job since Levi was born.”

“Well, I just so happened to have found one for myself! The local greenhouse was hiring and you know how I like to garden!”

“Ah, the exact occupation that a home office is required for: plant mother.” He smirked. “We can always do something more fun with the room. A playroom for the kids, maybe?”

“I could always just use it for storage.” His wife tapped her chin, pensive. “I could put the washer and dryer in there, space for the ironing board too!”

“What do you think, Tabby?” Her dad playfully elbowed her in the shoulder. “Home office, laundry room, or something actually useful?”

“We should make it a game room!” She suggested. “Pinball, maybe an air hockey table?”

“I like the way you think, kiddo. Honey, our daughter might just be brilliant.”

“Oh, Harv, ignore her. Tabatha is too old to be thinking about games and frankly, you are too.”

He rolled his eyes at her. “At least I have an imagination, unlike one particular stick in the mud I know. Right, Tabby?”

“Yeah, lighten up, mom.”

“Tabatha, don’t listen to your father. I don’t want you to turn out like that, okay dear? When you get married, make sure your husband has actual morals, will you?”

Tabby winced and bit her tongue. That word, husband, echoed in and out of her brain, pulsing, as though it were fired at her like a bullet. She had no desire in finding a husband, or any man at all. But she faked a smile and nodded to please her mother.

“Will do, mama bear.”

“I told you not to call me that.”

In an attempt to lighten the mood, Tabby’s father cleared his throat and patted his daughter on the back. “Excited for school tomorrow, Tabby Cat?”

She groaned. “No. A whole new school filled with a bunch of people I don’t know, who have probably all known each other their entire lives…I’ve seen Mean Girls, dad. I know how this works.”

“Aw, cheer up!” He ruffled her hair, which was currently only half-tied in a low ponytail. “Everyone will love you! They did at your last school!”

“Dad, I got teased so badly at my last school that I spent most of the first month crying in the bathroom. What makes you think this school will be any better?”

“Well, it’s a new year. You’re starting fresh in September, just like everyone else, not joining as a new student smack-dab in the middle of January like you did when we moved to Toronto.”

Tabby thought about this. It did help to ease her worries about Hatchetfield High School a little bit, though the devil on her shoulder still told her to abandon ship and launch herself out the attic window.

The sky had long been dark by the time Tabby was in bed. Her bedframe was still in boxes (yes, multiple of them), so she had to make due with her mattress and blankets on the floor. The attic was kind of creepy at night; it may have been newly finished, but the ceiling was still tall, with nooks and crannies hidden away in the rafters, and the stained glass window seemed to stare at her as she tried to fall asleep.

She cradled Kevin the Alligator to her chest, listening to the whisper of the wind in the trees outside her window. The desk seemed to taunt her, too, almost screaming “open me!”

It was as if she wasn’t alone in the house. Even when Raisin, normally a provider of a great deal of comfort, landed with a thump at her side, she was overcome with first-day jitters.

Tabby rolled over onto her left side, only to be met with the same plushie she had rescued earlier from her brother’s grasp, the little spider doll. She let out a quiet yelp. Tabby didn’t remember placing the doll here…

She picked it up, feeling the soft fabric up against her skin. The doll smelled like lavender, and she could almost hear the faint sound of a lullaby playing from its chest. Soothing, almost.

Clutching the spider doll, she finally fell asleep, snoring beside her cat in the attic of the creepiest house she’d ever lived in.

#tabby cat chat #hatchetfield oc #hatchetfield #tabatha danehower #tabby danehower #my ocs #my writing #HINPFATC

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wanderingmind867 · 9 days

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My take on Green Lantern III (Guy Gardner):

Guy Gardner was born to parents Roland and Peggy Gardner in Baltimore. His family moved around a lot (his father was a labourer constantly on the lookout for work), and so Guy Gardner never really had a stable home life. In his first 20 years of life, his family moved from Baltimore to Detroit to Toronto to Vancouver. All over the United States and Canada did his family journey for work. But finally, when guy was around 13, his family settled down in Vancouver. And it's in Vancouver that he would remain.

And besides this constant travelling, guy just never caught a break with his family dynamics. His father was a alcoholic who had a temper and could end up often beating him (either accidentally or intentionally), while his mother was a judgemental hypocrite who hated her husband and often seemed to encourage his worse tendencies. The only member of guy's family that was actually nice to him was his older brother Mace. Both of them pretty much relied upon each other for support in that chaotic household.

Because of this childhood, guy was a very troubled kid. He acted up at school, was opposed to authority figures and generally struggled with the academic parts of school. What kept him going? Well, partially it was his brother's support and encouragement. Part of it was probably a desire to prove himself and make something of himself. But in any case, guy eventually straightened his image and became a good student. (Well, he never did fully lose his hard-headedness and his anger issues. But he did straighten up his image, for the most part).

In a first for his family, guy gets a college/university degree (something his dad, mom and brother never got). He gets a degree in education and psychology from the university of British Columbia. He was also a sports star, playing for the UBC Thunderbirds Hockey team until an injury made him unable to keep playing. The injury really got to him and preyed on his natural insecurity of being unable to make it in this world.

After graduating, guy eventually gets a job as an educational assistant for students with special needs. He finds his work fulfilling, getting to help people and make the world a better place. It makes him feel really happy, for one of the first times in his life.

Guy Gardner is many things: stubborn, kind hearted, bold and strong willed. It's this last trait that made him an ideal green lantern. When Abin Sur falls to earth, his ring located two ideal candidates to replace him on the west coast of North America: Hal Jordan in Southern California, and Guy Gardner in Vancouver. Since Abin Sur was actually in California, Hal Jordan was the lucky one who gets the ring.

After this near brush with greatness, Guy Gardner's life proceeds much as normal. He continues his work as an educational assistant, finally feeling a great personal sense of fulfillment. The ring passes him over once more, making John Stewart a lantern before him. Guy Gardner was always capable of being a hero, but he was always passed over in favour of other candidates. This might be why he sometimes seems a little bitter toward the first two green lanterns.

But eventually, Guy Gardner does get his ring. When an alien spaceship being hunted by the Green Lanterns crash lands in Vancouver, Guy Gardner ends up being recruited to stop it when the Green Lantern on the case dies in combat. And with the help of the Justice League Canada, Guy Gardner manages to send the alien scout ship fleeing for their homeworld. (I'll probably do something with this story. Maybe 40 issues later, the aliens return for a big story arc)?

After this, Guy Gardner has to learn to balance being an educational assistant with also being a Green Lantern and a member of the Justice League Canada. He manages to make it work, but it puts a significant strain on him. No wonder he acts so abrasive when he's a hero, it's taking time away from one of the few things in his life he enjoyed doing (working with those kids). He often chafes under the authority of the lanterns and the league, but he's still one of the bravest men you'll ever know.

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moregraceful · 1 year

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1, 3, 5, 6?

I was like this will be easy if we narrow it by team but very difficult if we do it broadly...fuck around and find out 😩

Anyway for hockey:

which character do you relate to the most from your fandom?

GOD. I almost said Connor McDavid bc I too suffer the agonies but I am like, not nearly good enough at any one single thing to claim I'm like the next next one. YOU KNOW WHAT. maybe Cole Caufield, bc a) we're both short kings, b) I also get ripped up when my goals and life plans fall apart but I am Learning To Love The Journey, c) we love the homies and the homies love us, d) good size for huggin, e) my social circle is wide and affectionate enough that people get a bit 🧐 about interactions with my friends too, and f) the whole thing at the NTDP where him and Jack Hughes were BEST FRIENDS!! WHO SHARED EACH OTHER'S SUCCESSES!! LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE PRE-DRAFT PROFILE ON THEM MENTIONED THE OTHER!! AND THEN GETTING DRAFTED AND THE RELIEF ON COLE'S FACE WHEN MTL FINALLY PICKED HIM AND HOW EXCITED JACK WAS FOR HIM!! and now they're like the most underrated ship of the 2019 ntdp draft class and no one in fandom or the media ever thinks of them as a pair (except me, bc I have brain damage) but the love is still clearly there. anyway that whole situation of: childhood best friends who successes made each other what they are but the relevancy of that has faded overtime as they've grown up but there's still clearly a lot of love and affection...to drive this ask straight into a bridge, I recently found out one of my best friends in middle school died and I was thinking a lot abt how I hadn't spoken to him in over a decade (just due to like drifting apart, not a falling out or anything) but the fondness I feel for him is still so visceral....it's abt what we take with us as we grow. The love is still there, even as we fade out of each other's lives.

mainly we're both so fucking short. no way that dude is 5'7. no way

3. what is your favorite ship?

this is so hard bc as people get traded and the narrative evolves, my tastes change and I drop ships...anyway generally any Cale Makar ship makes me insane due to aforementioned brain damage (except natecale sorry to natecale nation but that's my one single notp) but rn I am sitting here so impatiently waiting for people to GET ON BOARD with Devon Toews/Cale Makar. Devon Toews is HANDSOME. AND CONFIDENT. AND HE WEARS PINK SUITS. you think he isn't blowing Cale Makar: most boring man on the planet's mind on the reg? You know how Cale never smiles anymore but sometimes he smiles around Devon??? my god. The photo of them at the Nuggies game looking like boyfriends?? kill me??? like I know the story of my fandom engagement is just me noodling from Cale Makar rarepair to Cale Makar rarepair but I stg Avs fans we GOTTA open our hearts to Devon Toews. GOTTA.

5. who is your favorite character (and maybe why?)

I love Cale Makar and Cale Makar hates me, because I keep writing weird rarepairs about him. My Avs fandom has kind of faded with time but every once in a while I see Cale Makar photo or gif or quote about how boring he is and there's a little kaiju in my head that rips a building off its foundations.

Also every Asian guy who has ever played the game and wasn't a douche bc they are my people and I must stan my people. Robo I love you. Kailer I love you. Nick Suzuki I love you, you monotone doofus. Matt Dumba? Make him commissioner. Paul Kariya I wish you ran DoPS and I also wish your husband would get off Twitter.

6. when you first think of the fandom, what image comes to mind?

This is SUCH an interesting question. like there's definitely vibes and memories and stories that come to mind immediately, but an IMAGE...maybe the fake worlds kiss photo from the inimitable @msmargaretmurry's fic The Next Next One which haunts me in my sleep. I have like real visceral memories of sitting in the Denver airport choking back tears when I got the final installment of that fic in my inbox, that is also an image. also this photo is the first photo I ever reblogged of hockey (I was a hater for SO long, sorry about the tags) and it still hits 8 years later. the joy on everyone's faces!! it's cute!!

Thank you for the ask my friend!!

#also the other 2 images for maddy and becs if you see this is: the soulmark behind connor's ear in the soulmate fic; gutterslut dylan #like...all things in my hockey fandom just come back to maddy and becs in the end honestly. formative influences on my psyche #i am sorry i have strayed so far from your light 😞#also sorry to everyone reading this for the absolute turn my answer took in that first answer. this post is mostly jokes but cw for death #me: haha cole caulfield because we are both short. also it's abt LOVE and GROWTH and LOSS #everyone reading this: [quietly unfollows]#cage replies #laughingthelaughiest #fresno oilers.txt #thank you ko...you always keep me on my toes....

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sweetnxthngs · 2 months

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[ camille razat, cis woman, she/her ] — whoa! OCTAVIA BAUDELAIRE just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for 10 YEARS working as a PRIMA BALLERINA FOR THE NYC BALLET. that can’t be easy, especially at only 34 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit RECKLESS and SELFISH, but i know them to be ETHEREAL and INTELLIGENT, whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to BROOKLYN! —character inspo: leighton murray, serena van der woodsen, sutton brady.

tw smoking, tw mental illness, tw teen pregnancy, tw alcohol, tw anxiety attack

BASICS

FULL NAME: Octavia Clemetine Baudelaire

NICKNAME(S): Tavi

AGE: 34

DATE OF BIRTH: November 25th 1990

CURRENT LOCATION: Vintage Lofts, Brooklyn, New York City

PLACE OF BIRTH: Paris, France

ETHNICITY: Caucasain

GENDER: Cis woman

PRONOUNS: she/her

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: lesbian

RELIGION: agnostic

LANGUAGES: French, English

OCCUPATION: Prima Ballerina for the NYC ballet

FACECLAIM: Camille Razat

PHYSICAL TRAITS

HEIGHT: 5’6

WEIGHT: 125

HAIR COLOR: Naturally blonde, but currently platinum blonde.

EYE COLOR: Blue

PIERCINGS: both of her ears are pierced

TATTOOS: the word “divine” in a delicate script on her left hip.

SCARS|MARKS: sometimes she gets freckles across her nose in the summer, a scar on her knee from playing in her nana’s garden in the south of france as a child

SIGNATURE SCENT: Tom Ford Santal Blush

PHOBIAS AND DISEASES

MENTAL ILLNESSES: generalized anixety

PHYSICAL ILLNESSES: N/a

PHOBIAS: monophobia

RELATIONSHIPS

MOTHER: Claudette Baudelaire (nee Granger)

FATHER: Matthieu Baudelaire

CHILDREN: simone baudelaire (raised as her younger sister)

SIBLINGS: Etienne Baudelaire, Simone Baudelaire

RELATIONSHIPS: coming soon

PETS: she recently adopted a black cat and named it fish.

PERSONALITY

ZODIAC SIGN: Saggitarius

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Good

FAVORITE FOODS: her nana’s blueberry lemon buttermilk waffles, the berry chantilly cake from whole foods, pesto mozzarella and bacon grilled cheeses, cheese-y fries.

FAVORITE COLOR: dusty lavender

LIKES: the smell of home-made baked goods, espresso martinis, vintage shopping, rom-coms, that bubbly warm feeling you get when you have a crush on someone, watching PWHL, gossiping with her friends, terrifying men, going to a restaurant and eating her weight in chips and queso.

DISLIKES: people who aren’t “girls girls", people who “play devil's advocate”, people who underestimate her, the fact that blueberries are green with the skin off.

HOBBIES: ice hockey on the weekends, pottery classes, collecting vintage nightgowns, learning about art.

BIOGRAPHY

Tw smoking, tw mental illness mention, tw teen pregnancy, tw alcohol

PAST

Paris, France, 1990.

Claudette Baudelaire is in labor for the second time, it is raining in Paris and her husband is somewhere probably smoking a cigarette. Her oldest son, Etienne, just five years old, is in the waiting room with her mother, and she tries not to think about how alone she feels right now, and thinks back to summers in Saint-Tropez instead, before she was a mother or a wife.

Octavia Clementine Baudelaire is born weighing 7 pounds, and her mother holds her for a total of ten minutes before she is swept up in the arms of her husband, the grandmother, nurses and doctors, and then placed into a bassinet at her side.

It wasn’t that Claudette didn’t love her two children, she just didn’t know how to be their mother just yet, only 25 with two children.

Octavia’s childhood is spent at her grandmother’s side, rather than her mother’s, Claudette would ship the children off to the south of france for the summers, and young Tavi would run barefoot through her grandmothers garden, trying to catch butterflies and dig up worms. Often, she would come in covered in mud, her older brother and best friend following close behind. She always had been the ring leader.

The rest of the year is spent in Paris with their parents, or, with their nanny while mom shopped or went to the spa, or drank large glasses of red wine instead of eating dinner, or while dad worked, and worked, and sometimes snuck into the house late at night, heading into the shower before kissing them all good night.

Days were filled with classes, music for Etienne, dance, ballet in particular, for Octavia, they were out of the home well until dinner time, food, homework, bed. A routine set up for children who didn’t know any better. Or so their parents thought. Etienne was easier to persuade, but Octavia despised the idea of conforming to her parent’s idea of love, but had no idea how to express it, she would spend time in the ballet studio instead, where she was praised for natural talent, where she soared.

Whatever their parents couldn’t give them emotionally, they gave them financially. Toys and games, trips, electronics, whatever their little hearts desired. Little hearts however grew into big hearts, and the Baudelaire children turned into the Baudelaire teenagers, priveleged and beautiful, the entire world was theirs.

she had a marvelous time, ruining everything.

Sixteen year old Tavi only cared about two things, her social life, and ballet. Often times, the two would intermingle. Octavia was a student at the Opera national, and what many would say, one of the best, well on her way to professional dancing, she had just about everything going for her, from being a beautiful dancer, a socialite in her own right and her mothers good looks, Tavi had the entire universe in her hands, and she refused to squander it. Days were filled with school and ballet, nights were filled with parties, galas, drinking with her friends or vacations across Europe, money and status were never an issue, her name was on the list for all of the best clubs and events, and in the morning she’d chug a cup of coffee, a bottle of water, and step back into perfect girl, perfect daughter, perfect student, perfect ballerina energy.

The one thing that didn’t interest Tavi? Dating. While her friends were coupled off and having fun in that respect, the farthest it got for her was tabloid rumours of dating every boy she ever walked outside with, but Tavi had more important things to worry about, life had too much to offer, and she could tie herself down to someone later, when she accomplished her dreams.

You know what they say about peer pressure, what started as a virginity pact between friends, and Tavi’s need to stay friends with these girls she grew up with, ended up with sixteen year old Tavi pregnant, watching the end of her life begin with a pink positive sign.

This is when Claudette Baudelaire finally acted like a mother. She watched the color drain from her daughter’s face, the way she cried over losing her dreams because of a mistake with a boy she didn’t even have feelings for, and she stepped in, a letter to schools that her grandmother was sick and they’d spend the rest of the year in the south of france, two promises made, that this baby would be raised as a sibling, and that Tavi would go on to make her life happen.

Nine months later, Simone Baudelaire was born, a sixteen year age gap between her and her big sister, Tavi spent an entire month after crying in bed.

give me back my girlhood, it was mine first

Having a baby changes you, no matter what age you are, but when you’re sixteen years old and staring at the face of your baby everyday, watching as your parents raise her like their own, it sort of just fucks you, and you entire life up. Tavi has no idea how to go back to normal, to parties and dancing, she couldn’t imagine a world separate from the one where she had had a baby, where she was somebodies mother, even if she wasn’t technically.

But she had made a promise, hadn’t she? She would go on and live her life, go back to school and dancing and her friends, go back to buying matching prada purses with her friends and too short sparkly dresses photographed on front pages of tabloids.

So she went back, to her friends who obsessed over her semester vacation, wishing they could get away too, back to late nights at clubs where they kept champagne and high end vodka flowing until dawn, and back to ballet, the only thing that kept her breathing.

When the anxiety attacks started, she was at a party in someone’s penthouse, she finds herself gulping in cold paris air on a balcony. She smoke’s two cigarettes before she calls it a night, waving goodbye and kissing cheeks before she’s back home in a car that her parents home, with the same driver that used to drive her to primary school.

Ballet becomes therapy too, she replaces racing thoughts with run throughs.

so keep on pretending pretty girl

Tea for two is Simone’s second birthday theme, and Tavi’s last day in her family home, a flat in the center of the city, more training, more partying, something new with a signature on a lease. Dad pays the rent, pays for training pays for a driver, but he doesn’t pay for the French 75’s at the gay bar that’s a 15 minute walk from her place.

She is 18 and kissing girls in dark bars and discovering that maybe she didn’t care for boys because this is what life is all about, drinking lemony drinks and kissing women with pillowy lips. In the morning though, she pretends none of it happens, but the lingering smell of jasmine perfume lingers on the pillow next to her.

It takes her years before she can admit to herself that she likes girls, 21 years old with her first girlfriend, it’s dinners at home and secret meetings until she’s broken up with. It goes like this a lot for a few years, but there is a bit in her stomach that she thinks might swallow her whole if she tells anyone else.

This is something that is just for her.

25 is a milestone, her mother had two kids by now and it reminds her that she had one at sixteen, a nine year old girl back home that she barely even knows outside of postcards and pristinely wrapped gifts sent in the mail.

25 comes with a move to America because the NYC ballet has been after her for years and she finally gives in, Paris feels stifling and she needs a change of scenery. Daddy buys her a loft in Brooklyn and she jets off the first chance gets.

Days are filled with too much caffiene and eight hours of rigorous training, nights are filled with drinks in dark bars of clubs that have her name on a list somehow, or gallery openings, or gala’s that have her parent’s name on the donors list. There are still paparazzi when she comes out the doors past midnight, stumbling a little too much. She goes from the Paris’ It Girl to New Yorks

Life is a lot like Paris but its more than three thousand miles away from everything she’s ever known and that makes her feel more alive than ever.

PRESENT

Nine years later and Tavi is 34 years old, living in a Brooklyn loft with windows so big she feels like she’s in the clouds sometimes. There’s a cat named fish that gets black hair all over lavender pillow cases, and fresh flowers from the market every sunday on her dining table. She drinks oatmilk lattes daily, consumes sushi from nobu at least once a week, and she has grown obsessed with ice hockey, watching it and playing it.

She’s still on the cover of tabloids for late night adventures and getting caught smoking with a diplomat in the bathroom at a gala, but she was also featured in Vogue when she became a principal for the NY Ballet.

She’s out to everyone but her family and the media. Everything is good until her sister shows up at her door, freshly 18 with tears streaks down her cheeks and a haunting look in her eyes.

She knows.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

Her older brother Etienne, he is five years older than her, and they grew up very close, as best friends. They are still, I would hope, very close, the only two people with the same childhood.

Honestly, I would love to see either of her parents here, they'd both be around 60. Mom is a socialite and dad is in finance.

her best friend group! would love 3 or 4 besties for Tavi that just get her. perhaps the only people outside of her family that know about the simone situation.

the frenemy! would love if it was someone within the ballet world but also could be anything, she's very much a socialite as well so keep your friends close and your enemies closer vibes?

friends from france! you know, those girls she wanted so badly to stay friends with, the girls who were rich and pretty and mean girls which was not the vibe that tavi really wanted to give off, but one she sort of fell into. would love to see them trying to one up each other but in that weird saccharine way.

exes of all sorts! tavi is a lesbian so please keep this in mind, she hasn't dated a cis man since she was in high school!

the beard! oh, tavi is out and proud with the people she loves but she's not ready to let the media dive into her personal life, so sometimes, but especially if she's currently single, she brings this person to events to pass as her "boyfriend" so no one asks questions.

people that she parties with! you know those people you only hang out with to get drinks and dance on bars with? would love a few of these for tavi!

the opposites attract! gosh i would love a woman that is all tattoos and leather in comparison to tavi's tutu's and red lipstick vibes, someone who challenges her!

bring me your ideas! i am so open to anything within reason!

#boroughs.intro #tw teen pregnancy #tw anxiety #tw mental illness #tw smoking #i never shut up!#tw alcohol #tw anxiety attack

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ladylooch · 9 months

Text

Letters in Your Last Name - Chapter 19

A/N: Sam goes to Switzerland 🥰

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: smidgeeee of smut

I rest my chin against my hand and gaze out the window at Switzerland below us. The country is bursting with vibrant green from a summer full of rain. Even from a distance, you can see the mountains are relatively green. As we descend closer to Zurich, the city erupts below us. The structures are obviously European and the tan tiled roofs dot the city scape. As we glide into the airport, we go over a large lake. The sun is glistening off the water and several boats can be seen enjoying the beautiful, late summer day. I smile in excitement at finally being here. All summer, we talked about Switzerland, visiting, seeing his family, getting to experience where he is from. Now, we have finally arrived!

“Wow.” I say to Kevin after the wheels hit the tarmac. “It’s so pretty already.” He smiles and gives me a nod.

“Wait until we go into the mountains in a few days. That is really incredible.” I can tell Kevin is excited that we are here. Of course, because he finally gets to be reunited with his family, but he’s spoken at length to me the last few weeks about all the things he wants to show me. Being here with me means a lot to him.

Soon, we are off the plane and heading through customs. Minus a brief language barrier that Kevin helps with, we breeze through and are off to grab our bags. Because we are returning to the U.S. from Switzerland, all of our baggage came with us, including Kevin’s hockey equipment. He made the mistake one year of trying to ship it back independently. He didn’t get his bag until the fourth week in the season. Needless to say, that was the final time he tried to make his load easier. The luggage cart is piled with our stuff and we are heading towards the arrivals area in the airport. At least I think we are.

“Okay, so my Czech and German are obviously still awful.” I cringe, even though Kevin and I have been working on them together.

The problem with Kevin knowing 5 languages is that I know only 1 of those 5 and learning the other 4 as an adult is proving to be difficult. I know a chunk of key phrases, but in this big moment of meeting his parents, officially, I’m so jittery that I’m not sure I can recall any of them right now. I just want his parents to like me.

“Can I speak to them in English? Or do you have to translate everything?” I wonder, biting my lip. Kevin can’t help but laugh at the nervous look on my face. “Don’t make fun of me,” I whine, slapping at his arm. “I’m really nervous!”

“Babe. It’s okay. They speak and understand English. I will help when I need to.”

“Kevin!” I hear from our right and turn to look at a man and a woman walking towards us. They are obviously his parents. Kevin looks like his mom more than anything. She has gorgeous dark brown hair, perfect bone structure and beautiful brown eyes. His dad is handsome with lighter brown hair, a strong jaw and hazel eyes. Both his parents look incredibly fit and young. I let out a slow breath as Kevin moves us towards them. I’ve FaceTimed with them many times, but the interactions were admittedly brief. Now being here, in their home country, where I don’t know the cultural customs, I feel timid.

His mom, Renata, doesn’t seem to notice because she bypasses Kevin and wraps her arms around me instantly. I hug her back without hesitation and close my eyes at the instant comfort of a mom hug. Her arms are tight and she smells of a light, flowery perfume.

“Samantha.” She greets me earnestly, leaning her head into mine. “We are finally together.” She pulls back and grabs both of my hands in hers. Her warmth is so genuine and her tone is light. “Jan.” Renata waves to her husband to come closer. “Look at her. She’s finally here.” Jan gives me a hug while Kevin’s mom greets him with a warm embrace.

“Vypadáš šťastně, má lásko” She kisses his cheek and then pulls away.

“I look happy because I am happy, mom.” He gives me an easy smile, translating through his response. Her hand comes up to his face and she releases a fulfilled sigh.

“Welcome home.” She murmurs to him. Kevin smiles brightly at his mom as his shoulders relax into obvious comfort. He’s finally home. Watching him now with his parents, in his home country, and seeing the obvious shift in him; it’s a tender moment. I feel a brief sting in my eyes and look down at the ground to blink them away.

“How was the trip?” Jan asks me directly. Renata and Kevin turn to me expectantly.

“Uh, good. Yeah, It was good. It was a little turbulent going over northern Germany because there were some storms. But nothing too crazy. I think the most difficult part was customs here. The agent assumed I spoke German like Kevin because we walked up to the counter together. So, I panicked when he gave me the German form. Kevin got it resolved though.” I laugh and shake my head, shrugging like an out of place American.

“Ah.. To, co řekl Sam, je-“ Kevin begins to translate to his parents in Czech.

“We understand, Kevin.” Jan assures his son, waving Kevin’s translation away.

“We have been taking English lessons to prepare for your arrival.” Renata tells me, beaming at Kevin with pride. Jan’s grin matches hers and he nods his head enthusiastically. My mouth drops open while Kevin and I share a surprised glance.

“Oh wow..” I trail off, not sure what to say. “That’s so sweet! I am really trying to learn Czech and German, but they are very different from English. Swedish seems to be going a bit better, but probably because of living there while trying to learn.”

“We are happy to learn more, Samantha. We want you to feel comfortable with us.” Renata says to me, pulling me in for another tight squeeze. I can feel the relief of belonging rush through my body. What was I even nervous for?

“Um, you can just call me Sam.” I correct her shyly.

“Is that what your mother calls you?” She wonders innocently.

“Yeah. Samantha only when I’ve earned it.” She laughs at my mischievous look and nods in understanding.

“Come. Let us eat to celebrate your return to Switzerland, Kev. And of course, Sam’s first time!” Jan encourages us as he takes the luggage cart from Kevin.

“Dad, I got it.” Kevin motions.

“Nonsense.” Jan insists. He gives me an excited grin at the use of a non-traditional English word and marches ahead with the full cart.

Kevin puts a strong hand on my back to lead me forward.

“Your parents…” I whisper, placing my hand on my chest over my heart. I swoon into him and he laughs genuinely.

“And you were so nervous.” He teases me. “They love you because I do.”

“You’re a mama’s boy aren’t you?” I poke at his side.

“How could you tell?” He gives me an annoyed look, but then laughs in agreement.

“She melted when she saw you.”

“She shoved me out of the way to hug you first!” He exclaims, “That shows how much she already likes you.”

An hour later, the car pulls up to a modest house tucked into a neighborhood of look alike, European homes. The city of Zuzwil is established in a valley of rolling hills with a beautiful view of the Swiss Alps. It’s a quaint town but, outside of the large mountains, feels like it could be a city back home in Minnesota. The car is barely in park before the front door flies open and a stunning brunette comes sprinting from the white house. She has the same brown eyes as her brother and mom and her smile gives way to dimples in each of her cheeks.

“She’s here! She’s here! She’s here!” Laura Fiala screams in excitement as she comes around the car. She pulls my door open and yanks on my arm to get me out of the vehicle.

“Oh god!” I exclaim, falling into her. She squeezes me hard and bounces excitedly. I hug her back with the same enthusiasm.

“Laura, relax.” Kevin snips at his sister as he comes around the car. He shakes his head at her tight grip on my body.

“No! I have been waiting for this moment for years. I have always wanted a sister and now I can have one! And she’s perfection! Where did you get those pants? I want them.” She’s buzzing from tangible excitement and bouncing between subjects quickly.

“Um.. Lululemon.” I laugh, looking down at my teal leggings. “Do you have that here?” I turn to Kevin.

“Yes! We have one in Zurich!” She answers for him.

“Oh, well then, Lululemon.” I let out another anxious laugh.

“Hi.” She breathes out at me, “I’m not sure if I said that yet. I am so thrilled you are here.” Her words set me at ease and I know we are going to be fast friends. Laura’s English is cleaner and less jumbled than her parents. Like Kevin, she has spent some time in North America, when she studied abroad while going to a college.

“Me too. It’s really nice to meet you.. officially.” I finish with another grin.

“Likewise.” She glances behind me at Kevin and rolls her eyes. “Wow, Kev, could you look anymore in love with her?” She jokes with him. She moves around me and embraces her little brother. “Vítej doma. Welcome home.” She automatically translates for me.

“I don’t know how to not look this in love with her.” He responds to his sister’s ribbing. “And thank you. It’s nice to be home.”

“Mhm… Come inside. We have Butterzopf in the oven.” Laura finishes as Kevin’s eyes twinkle in response.

“Yesssss. Now it really feels like I’m home.”

“What is that?” I ask Kevin as we move up the sidewalk and into the house.

“It’s a traditional Swiss bread. It’s like… how do I say…” He pauses and contemplates the word. “Braided?” He fingers my hair, noting that sometimes I braid my hair after I shower for waves.

“Yes, braided.” I confirm to him.

“Yeah, and we traditionally eat it on Sunday mornings. So, a little early for us since it’s Saturday, but it’s my favorite thing to eat when I’m home. It is pretty dense and we serve it with homemade strawberry jam and butter. It’s good. You’ll like it.” He insists.

“Kev, you and Sam are in your room.” Renata yells from the kitchen where she is checking on the butterzopf.

“This way.” Kevin points down a hallway to our right. We stroll down to a bedroom at the end with our suitcases, across the room from what seems to be the master bedroom. When we enter, my eyes immediately widen at all the hockey memorabilia plastered on every inch of the walls and shelves lining the room. Two posters one of Jaromir Jagr and the other of Sidney Crosby are the two largest focal pieces in the room. I smile and look around at the various medals, trophies, pucks, and player passes that showcase Kevin’s hockey career in Europe.

“All you’re missing is a mini Stanley Cup.” I joke with him after taking in the scene. “Oh! Is this your silver medal?” I wonder, speaking of the medal Switzerland won after being defeated by Sweden for the Gold in the 2019 World Championships.

“Yeah. That stays here because it means a lot to my family.” Kevin notes, coming behind me and studying the medal over my shoulder. “My parents bring it out at like every other dinner they host. Would have been better if it was gold though.”

“Maybe next year.” I look at him over my shoulder, speaking of the upcoming 2022 Olympic games. Nothing is set in stone, but it looks highly likely that NHL players will be eligible to participate. Kevin is an obvious yes for the Swiss team.

“We will see.” He whispers to me, capturing my lips in his. “How are you doing? Overwhelmed yet?” He grins, waiting for my response.

“Um.. I’m good? They’re all obviously on their best behavior.”

“Okay. Well, let me know if you need a break.”

“I’m surprised your parents are fine with us being in the same room?”

“Ha. They know we live together in Minnesota. Plus, my room is right across from theirs so… my mom knows what she’s doing. The guest room is at the other end of the house.”

“Ah.. that makes more sense.”

“As if that’s going to stop me from having you.” He nips at my neck. “You’ll have to be very quiet though.”

“I don’t know if I can have sex with you in this hockey shrine of a room you have. What if Crosby judges my form?” I note, pointing at the poster.

“I’ll take it down.” He whispers in my ear, taking my ear lobe between his teeth. One of his hands slide around my waist and pulls me close against him. The other dips beneath my waistband, reaching between my legs. I immediately freeze, barely sucking in a breath as I listen intently for noises from the hall.

“Kevin. The door is open.” I warn him breathlessly as his fingers tease me.

“Tell me to stop.” He challenges, rubbing harder, mouth watering circles. I bite my lip against the moan I want to let loose. I rest my head back against his shoulder and grab his wrist loosely.

“Stop.” I breathe out after a few more moments of ecstasy. He does so instantly, pulling his hand from me. It trails up my stomach to my breast and he gives it a gentle squeeze.

“I’ll finish that later.” He assures me with one last kiss to my neck. I suck in a slow, deliberate breath before I turn to look at him. He wears a smug look that has me shoving at his chest.

“You’re the worst.”

“You love me.” He insists.

“Yeah… way too much.”

“Kevin! Sam! Butterzopf!” Laura yells down the hallway to us.

“You first.” He encourages me. I glance down at his pants and let out a laugh at the obvious bulge.

“You’ve got something to fix there.”

“Yes, I’m aware. I’ll be out in a second.”

“Alright.” I shrug, walking around him to the doorway. He gives my ass a distinct and loud slap that vibrates through the air. I gasp and punch his arm. “Dick.” I hiss at him in a whisper but smile widely. He blows me a smooch and then waves me down the hall back to where his family is waiting for us.

When I enter the kitchen, Laura gives me a suggestive look while her parents tend to getting the table ready for us all to eat.

“Good for you.” She murmurs to just me when I come to stand by her.

“Not sure what you’re talking about.” I shake my head in fake confusion, looking around the small kitchen. My cheeks tingle as a redness seeps into them.

“Mhm. Sure.” She giggles into her cup of coffee. “Whatever you say, American girl.” _ _ _

The sun is setting on our last night in Switzerland and I can already feel the sadness descending on me. It’s like the worst kind of Sunday Scaries ever. Yes, I’m looking forward to returning home and seeing my family. But I’m despondent at leaving Switzerland and the people I’ve gotten to know so well the last three weeks. Kevin’s family is incredible. Even his grandma, who doesn’t speak a word of English, made me feel welcomed.

I’m sitting in the backyard patio of Kevin’s parents house after dinner. I was forced outside to watch the setting sun while the four of them clean up after our meal. I for sure thought they were going to let me help this time. I even gathered the silverware and brought them to the sink to be washed. But the second they were out of my hand, Laura hip checked me out the patio door and shut it on me before flipping the lock.

“Guests don’t help.” She pointed a finger at me, speaking the same words they have said this entire trip when I’ve tried to clean or cook or run errands. My eyes met Kevin’s and he nodded as fiercely as his sister.

So here I am, knees tucked up under my chin in the golden light of the Swiss night, pondering what this next season will bring to us. This off-season has gone quickly, not surprisingly with all the work, travel and fun we have packed into these short months. I almost don’t feel ready for the grind of it all again. I understand that I have no choice, but to be prepared. The moment we touch down in Minnesota, everything will intensify.

The patio door slides open and I glance over my shoulder, seeing Renata stepping onto the patio with two glasses of red wine in her hand.

“Can I join you?” She asks, lifting one of the glasses in my direction.

“Please!” I exclaim, taking it from her outstretched hand.

“So what do you think of Switzerland?” She asks me once she has settled into one of the other chairs on the patio.

“I was actually just thinking of how sad I am to leave tomorrow.” I confess. “I’ve had a great time here, meeting you all and spending time getting to know the culture. Plus the food has been to die for.” She nods her head in agreement.

“We have taken you to only the best places.”

“Well everything has been amazing. Thank you.” I nod earnestly at her, hoping she can see how grateful I am for her, Jan, and Laura’s hospitality.

“We are happy you both could finally come. You and Kevin have been together years. It’s sad this is your first time here.” She grumbles in frustration at the global pandemic keeping us apart.

“I know, but I’m hopeful you will come visit us in Minneapolis this season?”

“We already told Kevin we are coming as long as the borders remain open.”

“Good. You will stay with us! I’ll take you to where Kevin and I had our first date so you can try the Juicy Lucy we were talking about last week. You’ll love it. It’s the hamburger filled with hot cheese.”

“Ah! Yes, delicious!” Her eyes sparkle with excitement. If there is one thing I have taken away from the cuisine here, it’s cheese and bread are the stars of the show.

“I kind of wish we had spent a few more days here rather than leaving Sweden so late.” I admit to her after a sip of my wine. “Kevin didn’t want to give up those last few days of training though.”

“He is always like that.” She dismisses with a wave. “Sweden holds a special place in his heart- Andreas as well. So, it’s not too surprising.”

“Are you sad that he spends the off-season there?” I wonder, asking the question I’ve thought of numerous times since we arrived.

“Yes and No. We understand why he stays in Sweden these days, but miss him still when he is gone. It is a bit easier now than when he was so young.”

“Kev mentioned the first year he was there, you went with him, but not the second. How did you decide to let him go by himself?”

“He was ready.” She shrugs. “I wasn’t. But his father and I argued over it for weeks. I went the first year. He transitioned well into both school and hockey. But, it was tough for Jan and I to be apart. We also assumed Kevin would need to be by himself in the NHL eventually and thought Sweden wasn’t as far to travel to check on him. America… is a world away to us.” Her frown deepens a bit more. “It was a difficult choice. But he wasn’t challenged in any of the leagues here anymore. If he was 16 now, he may have stayed here, but back then, it was the best choice for his hockey career.”

“Kevin is lucky that he had parents who were willing to make those sacrifices for him.”

“Sacrifices?” She repeats the word awkwardly to me.

“Oh.. um…” I pause for a moment. “Give up things?” I say and she nods her head in understanding.

“Yes, he is lucky. I’m sure your parents did the same for your brother… and you as Laura has done for Kevin.”

“Yes.” I confirm t “I think that helps Kevin and I work, even in the deep months of the season, I get it. He never had to explain to me what to expect or how the league worked. I just knew from day 1 if I wanted to be with him, my life would be very different.”

“Hard life to sign up for.” She murmurs. After all, she would know with her husband’s professional career here in Switzerland.

“Not if it means I get Kevin.” I tell her honestly.

“It has been nice to spend time with you, Sam.” Renata says to me as we both watch the last flicks of orange disappear behind the horizon. “I feel comfort in knowing Kevin has someone who loves him so much.” She reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze.

“Thank you.” I whisper. “I love your son very much.”

“I know.” She nods her head. “He loves you the same. I’ve never seen Kevin like this.” She gives her head a slight shake.

“His other girlfriends weren’t as interesting.. or foreign?” I joke with a laugh.

“Others? You are the only one he has brought home.” She tells me after a sip of her wine. I pause with my glass on my lips.

“Oh…”

“Before you arrived, he called us and said you were the one.” She gives me a pointed look. “His father and I can see why.”

“Hey.” Kevin interrupts as he steps from the house. “You look cold.” He says to me, handing me a blanket before dipping to kiss my cheek.

“A little. Thank you.” I tilt my lips up to him and he closes the gap between us. His lips linger a moment longer than appropriate for our current audience.

“Your mom was telling me that I’m the first girl you’ve brought here.” I say to him as he takes the chair next to me.

“To be fair, I didn’t invite you. You followed me here.” He teases.

“You paid for my ticket.” I roll my eyes at him, shoving at his thigh with my foot.

“My little fan girl.” He smirks.

“I’m nicer than the ones on Instagram.” I mutter, settling deeper into the blanket as the breeze begins to whip my hair about my face.

“Look at you joking about that.” Kevin gives a small golf clap.

“Hey.. none of them are here.” I shrug my shoulders confidently with pursed, smug lips.

“Taky tě nechám. Dobrou noc.” Renata speaks to Kevin as she stands, giving both Kevin and I a brief shoulder squeeze before disappearing into the house.

“She said she was leaving us and goodnight.” Kevin repeats to me once the door has closed. “Sorry, that probably seems rude.”

“No, I think it means she’s comfortable. This is her home. She doesn’t need to change for me.”

“Come sit with me.” He tugs at my hand.

“You going to keep your hands to yourself?” I ask as I stand.

“No.” He laughs, looking up at me. I perch myself perfectly in his lap, wrapping the blanket tighter around me and nuzzling into his shoulder.

“Are you looking forward to going back to Minnesota?” I question, running my finger along his jaw line.

“I am. It will be nice to get back and see everyone. We are going to have a big year.”

“You’re going to.” I tell him, leaning forward and kissing along his jaw to the corner of his mouth. He turns his face and connects our lips in a sweet kiss. “We are going to see big things from you.”

“Hopefully. Billy sure expects that.” He rolls his eyes.

“Hey. If you play your game, you’re going to get the things you’ve been wanting.” I encourage him. “Play so well- he doesn’t have a choice but to keep you.”

“I want to win there.” He speaks confidently. “Minnesota is home and I don’t want to play anywhere else. I just wish we could come to a better agreement.”

This off-season, Kevin didn’t get the long term contract his team was pushing for. Instead, he was brought to arbitration, a rarity for teams to bring players to, and given a one year, $5.1 million contract. To say it was disappointing for him would be an understatement. After all, Joel Ericksson Ek was offered 8 years at $42 million and Kirill Kaprizov is rumored to have an 8 year, $64 million offer in his hands. Kevin got nothing of the sort and was very disappointed in August. The truth is, there is nothing we can do about it. He’s signed for another year and has one more shot to prove what he can bring to the Wild.

“You can’t change where you’re at now, but you have control over where you go from here. Just stay focused. You got this.” I squeeze his shoulder.

“They could trade me.” Kevin shrugs. A darkness comes over his features and I sigh.

“You can’t think about the what ifs with that. It’s just going to get in your way.” He nods in response and I run my fingers through the side of his hair. He seems lost in thought and I wait patiently for him to come back to me.

“Will you come with me if that happens?” He glances over at me. I can tell he’s trying to be casual but there is a depth of seriousness to his voice.

“As if I could live without you at this point.” I tease him gently, trying to lighten the moment. “Baby, you know I would.” I assure him, understanding he needs to hear that directly from me. “Don’t worry about that. I’m making plans too.” I tilt my head and observe the softening of his body. He pulls me tighter into him and places our lips together. His tongue dances along mine and my soft sigh escapes into his mouth.

“I love you.” He says to me when we pull apart. “Thank you for leaving everything you know and spending the summer with me.”

“I took the best thing I know with me. Plus, life is better when we are together.” I smile before kissing the tip of his nose.

I rest my head back on his shoulder and we grow quiet, listening to the sounds of the Swiss night.

#letters in your last name au #kevin fiala #Kevin Fiala Fic #los angeles kings #my writing #hockey fan fiction #hockey writing #NHL writing

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youcouldmakealife · 5 months

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LBTE: Jared (132-133)

From the self-indulgent lows of finding out there's fic about you and your secret husband, to the legitimate lows of Bryce's final few months in Calgary.

If you want to read along, the series page is here.

132. Addressing the Audience

Treating myself by breaking the fourth wall a bit.

Jared fucks up his ankle with the most perfect timing in the world — right before the Canucks are off on their first official roadie. A roadie that includes Edmonton and Calgary, among other cities. It’s not too bad, he’s assured repeatedly, all ‘could have been worse’ positivity that would bug him more if it hadn’t been so close — he found a rut and he went down like he was shot, didn’t even fucking know what was happening, barely managed to brace himself. He could have snapped his ankle, landed on his wrist and broken it or his arm, blown his knee out. He got lucky.

Jared has actually been supremely lucky on the injury front throughout his career. When he does get injured, it’s not for long, and often could be worse.

Being injured is frustrating. And boring. Jared’s bored. Jared’s bored, and mad, because the Canucks are in Edmonton and Jared is not, and he couldn’t even sneak his way on the plane because there’s no way he’s game ready by the end of the road trip, plus he has appointments and check-ins constantly so he can’t like, fly off to Calgary in the guise of being moral support for the team. If it was a little better he could have flown with the team, if it was worse he could have gone back to Calgary to recuperate. He’s in an annoying fucking middle as far as LTIR goes.

Jared is a worse patient than Bryce in every measurable way. He should have been reminded of this incessently when Bryce was recuperating, but the ones dealing with it were mostly Elaine and Stephen. Elaine's too nice, and Jared (mostly) knew better than to bitch about Bryce taking his injury poorly to a dude whose hockey career abruptly ended at the age of 21.

Julius plays a hell of a game — Jared is not sulking ‘like a scowly little baby’ that they can’t hang out after, despite what one Stephen Petersen says

Who do you believe, Stephen Petersen or a scowly little baby?

Would have won by more if I was there, Jared texts Julius, and gets an eyeroll emoji from him right around the time he would have gotten his second star of the game, wrapped up media, retreated to his stall. He texted Jared pre-shower. That’s touching. Jared’s touched.

Jared says this sarcastically but he is 100% legitimately touched.

“He’s sulking,” Stephen tells Gabe.

“I’m not sulking,” Jared mumbles.

“Couple more weeks,” Gabe says. “Just be happy you didn’t do it when we finally got to go somewhere warm.”

“You’re flying to my husband’s city tomorrow,” Jared mutters. “What the fuck do I care about the weather.”

“Our baby’s cranky, Gabe,” Stephen says, then, “Fuck off, you don’t hit the driver!”

Stephen’s baby has gone from infancy to a sullen teenager, apparently.

And yes, never hit the operator of heavy machinery, even if he deserves it.

Stephen bitches about it, but considering he’s the one picking Jared up and driving him home — he’s still not allowed to drive, which is annoying — Jared is pretty sure he doesn’t mind. It is literally within his control how often Jared’s there.

He’s onto you, Stephen.

By the time Stephen returns he’s googled their names together and found like — stories. About them. And gifs. And something called a ‘ship primer’ which has a lot of information about him and Bryce. Like, an uncomfortable amount. Like technically public knowledge but you’d have to be really interested. And puts together some pieces way more cleanly than Jared would like.

Twenty minutes could bring you very, very far down that particular rabbit hole.

“What do you mean ‘they do that’?” Jared says.

Stephen yawns. “A small contingent are convinced Gabe and Dmitry are dating, have been for like, a literal decade, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

And that doesn’t infuriate Stephen at ALL.

“I wouldn’t call Dmitry good looking,” Jared says. “And Gabe—”

“You say a single disparaging word about Gabe and you’re clomping home on that injured ankle of yours after I kick it,” Stephen says.

Valid.

“—is very handsome,” Jared says, who is one-hundred percent Stephen would be petty enough to do it, and his painkillers haven’t kicked in yet. “Best looking Canuck by far.”

“Overselling it, Matheson,” Stephen says dryly. “Everyone’s fully aware you’re the prettiest princess of them all.”

Your occasional reminder that Jared is fucking beautiful, no matter how much he minimizes it.

“Pretend you never saw them,” Stephen says. “Pretend they don’t exist. Selective amnesia. That’s what Gabe does.”

“What do you do?” Jared says.

“Find it deeply offensive on Gabe’s behalf that anyone would think he would have such poor standards as to date Dmitry Kurmazov,” Stephen says.

Don’t talk to him about the Gabe Markson/Jake Lourdes fics in existence.

“I will confiscate that from you,” Stephen says. “That is going ten steps further down the road from googling yourself to read about your play. Don’t do it. Leave it to PR.”

“PR knows about this?” Jared asks.

Oh you better believe PR knows about it.

“Be like Gabe,” Stephen says. “Selective amnesia.”

It sounds like a good tack to take. One that Jared will probably be incapable of, but a good one.

“There’s probably more about you and Halla anyway,” Stephen says.

Stephen immediately following good advice with being a shit-stirrer. And he is correct on this matter as well. He knows a good bromance when he sees one.

Jared has forgotten everything. Jared has forgotten everything, so he is not obligated to tell his husband that there are stories about them, knowing that Bryce would panic, and he is not aware that E means explicit, as in explicit sex, meaning that people have written about fictional stories about him, Jared Matheson, having sex, and he is not completely enraged that there are, in fact, more stories about him and Julius than there are about him and Bryce.

Nothing Happened.

“How’s your morning babe?” Bryce says when Jared calls him over breakfast.

“Oh, fine, good, y’know,” Jared says. “I mean, not fine, injured, which sucks but like — considering.”

I think he does an admirable job not immediately blurting out ‘do you know people write about us having sex?’ frankly.

“I’m drinking from your Eeyore mug,” Bryce says. “If like. You want a pathetic image of how much I miss you. And Chaz threatened to kill me yesterday if I didn’t stop sighing.”

Sooooft.

“I really fucking miss you, Bryce,” Jared says before he can stop himself.

“I really fucking miss you too,” Bryce says, and Jared’s eyes are stinging when Bryce has to hang up to go to work.

Oh boys.

133. Affliction

Jared’s back on the ice for literally one game before Bryce fucks up his shoulder. They’re cursed. They have to be.

“You play a high impact contact sport professionally,” Stephen says when Jared says as much, talking to Jared likes he’s a toddler. “Injuries are inevitably a part of it.”

“Cursed,” Jared insists.

Yes, it is that shoulder. Again. By the time Bryce was broken by a baby it was hanging on by a thread.

He’s a big sulky baby when he’s particularly sore, and Jared will never, ever tell him it’s kind of endearing because obviously he shouldn’t encourage that sort of behaviour.

He will no longer find it endearing later, so it is probably good he never did tell him that.

The Bryceless Flames fly into town. Jared gets dinner with Chaz and does not sulk through it, no matter what Chaz says. Chaz should appreciate his presence.

Everywhere Chaz goes, a big sulky baby can be found.

Jared thinks about that moment a lot in the coming months: Bryce and his bright eyes and the coiled tension in his body, the excitement to get back on the ice, to play his game, to help his team. Bryce like a little kid on Christmas. Bryce happy.

Bryce stops smiling when he gets back.

Wow, chill with that scene transition, Satan.

It’s this ugly feedback loop, where the worse Bryce plays, the worse the media and the fanbase lands on him. It gets into his head. Bryce is shaken, you don’t need to be married to him to see he has absolutely zero confidence in himself right now, will pass instead of shoot, hesitate just long enough for the puck to get taken away. He gets a few, a player as talented as him is always going to get a few, but every time it seems like his offence is coming back it slips right through his fingers.

It is always stunning, how much an elite player can deteriorate in a perfect storm. It can honestly go from 'people fight over rights to me on their fantasy teams' to 'this man cannot hockey'.

And it’s fucking killing Bryce, he’s angry and sad and empty and numb at turns every time Jared talks to him, and Jared lets him vent, listens when Bryce needs him to listen, says all the reassuring things that are cliche because they’re true. All players have slumps. He just needs to get his confidence back. He needs to stop overthinking things and just go out and play hockey. Things Bryce’s coach is telling him, things Chaz is probably telling him. He must be sick of hearing them by now but he never cuts Jared off, lets Jared say them, maybe because he knows it makes Jared feel a little better, because at least saying something isn’t doing nothing.

Trade deadline day’s always an anxious one, but Jared feels genuinely sick going into it.

We just spanned over two months in one paragraph, because this is an Upper Case Series, and things would get downright lowercase if we hadn’t. Plus, you know. It’s just going to get worse, so.

Bryce has a no-move clause in the back-end of his contract, but it doesn’t kick in until the offseason, so he could be headed anywhere right now.

Not anywhere, anywhere, but it’s a 15 team no trade list at the moment, so half of anywhere. And huh, interesting fact about that upcoming no move clause, huh?

It’s a 3 team trade list, otherwise NMC, which I'd say is almost unrealistically pro-player, but a) Bryce left a not insignificant amount of money on the table at the time to secure it, because he was all in on Jared Matheson long before Jared was comfortable acknowledging that, and Jared should be settled into his team/career at 22 and b) the RL San Jose Sharks had like five players with one of those at one point. Sorry for any pain that any Sharks fan just experienced. You’re already suffering enough this season.

Chaz was the only fucking guy on that team that gives a shit about Bryce. So now it’s going to be nobody. Nobody in Bryce’s corner, nobody to hang out with on roadies, or team dinners, nobody to invite him over so he doesn’t go back into that shell he keeps hiding in, shutting out the world like it’ll help.

Bryce still has Ashley when in Calgary (they in fact hang out MORE after, because they're both pretty lonely), but yeah, he’s now completely at sea in that Flames room.

“Did you punch through our wall?” Jared says.

Bryce’s silence is sheepish.

“You’re lucky you didn’t break your fucking hand,” Jared snaps. He’s probably going to have to ask his dad to fix it, because fuck knows he doesn’t trust the discretion of some random Calgarian contractor not to spread a ‘Bryce Marcus Punched a Wall (We Presume Because He Wanted to Be Traded, That Ingrate)’ to add fuel to the fire. “Are you icing it?”

“Yeah,” Bryce says. “I just — he was literally the only good part of playing for the Flames right now. Everything else is shit, and it’s just — fuck.”

Obviously not an IDEAL way to react (especially because injuring himself at this juncture would be brutal), but considering where Bryce’s head is right now, it could have been much worse.

“Can you like, tie me to your bed and refuse to let me leave at the end?” Bryce says.

Look, he’d never refuse to report, but he thinks ‘kidnapped and tied to bed’ would make it not his fault. Also it sounds fun.

Bryce looks — rough when he gets to Vancouver, empty-handed slump shouldered at Jared’s door. It’s kind of a shock. Like, Jared’s seen pictures, clips of play, seen him on video calls, but it isn’t until he’s within arms reach, face to face, that he can see how washed out Bryce is, exhausted, like some kind of source of — light or something has burnt out.

He is already so burnt out at this point, and he still has the rest of the season and postseason to go.

What they do is a lot more violent than a hug, though that’s the closest word Jared can think of, Bryce breathing fast in his ear like he just got off a shift, Jared’s ribs aching, Bryce crushing the breath out of his lungs, and Jared doesn’t give a fuck, he doesn’t, he holds on just as tight and he lets it hurt for as long as Bryce needs it to.

It’s so blindingly obvious Bryce adores Jared. Less obvious the other way around, even though we’re in Jared’s head, but man, Jared loves Bryce so fucking much.

“I need you to be like, within arm’s reach until I have to leave,” Bryce says. “I know that sounds pathetic, but—”

“It doesn’t,” Jared says. “I can do that. Like, maybe not during the game, that’d raise some eyebrows, but—”

Bryce’s laugh sounds torn out of him. Jared wants to burn the entire city of Calgary down. He’ll tell his family to get out first.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” Bryce says, voice so small, and Jared holds on tighter.

So fucking much. (The Mathesons and Murrays appreciate the heads up.)

“And if someone notices you just ghosted?” Jared says.

“Mom lives here,” Bryce says. “Can just say I fell asleep at her place. I doubt they’d get all worked up.”

“But if they do?” Jared asks. Usually that’d be true, but Jared is extremely aware how thin the ice Bryce is standing on is right now. Bryce is aware of that too.

Jared got a midnight knock on the door from his coach due to bullshit politics, so not an invalid concern on his part.

“I literally don’t care, Jared, if they’re going to act like I’m a fucking problem child I’ll be a fucking problem child,” Bryce snaps.

This has been Bryce’s attitude for so many situations in his life (with the Flames, with Calgary media, with Dave, with the camp, preemptively with his mom very briefly in his teens as a sort of 'will you still love me if I am a total douchebag to you?'/too cool to be nice to mom thing but it made her sad and that made him sad so he stopped real quick) and it really doesn’t do him any favours.

“I just want to have like, one night where I get to be with you and just be me and not to think about their bullshit and I just—” Bryce says. “Can we have that?”

“Yeah,” Jared says. “Of course.”

“Thanks,” Bryce says. “Thank you.”

“Stop thanking me for being like, a bare minimum husband,” Jared says.

“You’re a maximum husband,” Bryce says earnestly.

“Okay but like am I allowed to make fun of you right now?” Jared says.

Bryce’s eyes narrow.

“Because that was like the worst fucking—” Jared says, and laughs when Bryce bites his shoulder.

The emotional range here from Bryce being angry and clipped, to unironically calling Jared a maximum husband, to biting him. And Jared going with Bryce when Bryce needs it and taking the piss out of him for being soft. He’s gotten so much better at teasing Bryce without trodding on his feelings at this point.

Jared skates over to centre ice, but Bryce isn’t looking at him, doesn’t see him, and after a moment, feeling awkward, he skates back over to Gabe.

This is quietly one of the saddest sentences to me. Also really says something about just how bad Bryce’s headspace is right now, because that man has an internal Jared alert system installed by this point.

#liveblogging the end

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