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tomtenadia · 1 year

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Sunday adventure

Hello!! Here I am again with a new cute Rowaelin. This one is set in the same AU as two of my DadRowan fics: Little Monkey and A trip to the Aquarium. For this fic I used a bit of the TOG folklore but also Celtic one. I do mention Tir Na Nog - in celtic mythology is the fairies otherworld. Also, the Fairy Glen actually exist (HERE) it’s one of my favourite places on Skye. It’s a magical place and Skye has a lot of connections to the fairies due to Dunvegan castle and the Fairy flag. The entrance of the glen is inspired by a place near where I live called Burn O’ Vat (the image should give you an idea of what I meant for the entrance).

I hope you will enjoy dadRowan with his family.

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Weekends in the Whitethorn-Galathynius household were a busy affair. Aelin was home and the three always tried to make the most of it. On most occasions, it was their five years old daughter dictating the actual plans. The previous night she had confessed to her parents she wanted to go in the woods hiking. Rowan and Aelin had started taking her out to some shorter walks in Oakwald and the girl had quickly fell in love with nature. Rowan who, in his younger years had worked as forest ranger, had been more than happy to indulge his little girl.

He was now in the kitchen preparing their bags with all the provisions they needed. He would prepare lunch and a lot of snacks, together with coffee for the adults and healthy juices for Maya. Aelin would joke that they were not going for a week long expedition, but Rowan was always very serious when it came to outings in the woods.

“Dada, can I take Marvin?” His daughter walked to him while holding the giant stuffed penguin on one of his fins.

“No my love, he needs to stay at home.”

“Oh.” She added dejected. Rowan, who could not bear to see his daughter sad, kneeled in front of her and brushed her head “You can tell him all of your adventures when you come home.” A soft kiss on her silver hair “We can also try and spot the Little Folk.” Rowan had also started telling his daughter about all the legends from Terrasen and Aelin had bought her a few books that in turn they read to Maya.

The girl’s eyes lit up in joy and rushed back to her room to stash away the penguin.

Aelin appeared a moment later, all dressed up in the nice mountain wear he had took her to buy. She had no sensible clothing for Terrasen mountains so he made sure both his girls had all the correct equipment. He took the mountains very seriously.

“Where are you taking us today?”

He turned and folded his arms around her waist “nothing too complicated. There’s a lovely path through the forest that will lead to the Fairy glen and there’s a stunning waterfall waiting for us.”

“You know that Maya will try and chase the fairies, right?”

He kissed his wife “I want her to believe in the legends, grow up connected with nature.”

Aelin snuggled to his chest when a tiny hand patted them.

“Mama, dada I am ready.”

They both looked down and saw Maya with her bright green jacket, black trousers and walking boots. Rowan laughed when he spotted the mess she had made of the laces. She was still learning to tie her shoes.

He kneeled “let me fix the laces for you.”

At the same time, Aelin went to fix her hair and place a nice hat on her daughter’s head and then finished with a pair of sunglasses.

Once they were both done, Aelin took a picture of their daughter “you are our little explorer.”

Maya grinned lowering her sunglasses on her nose “Let’s go.”

The car journey had been the usual chaos and mayhem with Aelin and Maya singing out loud from a selection of songs ranging from cartoons soundtracks to rock music. Rowan just hummed along while he was busy driving.

It was a good hour later when they finally arrived and Maya was already agitated as she tried to remove the seat belts and climb off the car seat.

“Maya, we are almost there, wait for dad to park the car.”

“I want off.”

“Maya.” Rowan’s voice had enough hint of a command that the little girl calmed back down.

As soon as he parked, Aelin got off and freed their hyper daughter.

Aelin opened the trunk and got their backpacks while Rowan changed his trainers for hiking boots.

Rowan was the one with the big backpack, while Aelin had a smaller one with essentials for Maya and the wee girl had her own unicorn rucksack with her water bottle and a few toys she insisted on taking with her.

Rowan ready, he walked to his girls and took Maya’s hand “ready?”

His daughter jumped in excitement and Aelin grabbed the other hand.

The three of them left the car park and Rowan guided them through the marked path that disappeared in the forest. It was a lovely spring day and he was looking forward to a day with his family. He knew that part of Oakwald very well after his years as park ranger. The trail that were following that day was one of his favourites and he had been looking forward to share it with Aelin and Maya in a while but they had to wait for their girl to get more used to hiking. There was no actual ascent to climb, it was a very gentle stroll through the forest until they reached the glen.

“Dada, are there really fairies?”

He chuckled and smiled at his daughter “yes, but they love to stay hidden, so we leave them offering to thank them for looking after the forest.”

“But I want to meet them, like Mei in Totoro.”

“I admit that I’d like to meet a Totoro too and fall asleep on his belly.”

“The sìth in Oakwald are not as fluffy.”

Rowan was talking when Maya let go of his hand and ran quickly towards the trees “Deer, dad a deer.”

He walked to her “shhh… do not scare it away.”

Aelin took a nice picture and crouched at her daughter side. She loved seeing her daughter excited about new things. They lived in the outskirts and Maya was used at seeing squirrels in their garden but deers were a discovery.

“It’s so pretty, can I touch it?”

“No my love, we just observe. The fairies don’t want us to disturb the animals.”

“Ok, dad.” She said her goodbyes to the deer and grabbed her parents hands once more.

They walked happily while Rowan told them both about the legends of the place and both listened attentively at his voice spun wonderful tales of magic and wonders.

After a good twenty minutes they reached a clearing with a few boulders to mark the entrance to a new grassy path.

“That, “ he added pointing at the big rocks “is the official entrance to the Fairy Glen, but before we can go in we need to pay our respects to the guardians of the valley.”

Maya looked up at him with curiosity while Aelin admired her husband and she asked herself how it was possible to fall even more in love with him. His pagan, tree hugger nature was something that he kept hidden and only a few selected individuals knew of it. It was not something he shared easily as he had confessed her that on occasions he had been ridiculed for his beliefs. Aelin on the other hand had wanted to know more and she had been delighted when he had started to involve Maya too. She wanted her daughter to grow up a nature lover like her dad.

Rowan opened his backpack and extracted a couple of buttons and a few acorns and gently placed them on the boulder.

“Dada, what are you doing?”

“I am giving some offerings to the hidden ones. Buttons because they love to collect trinkets from humans and acorns because they love them.” He crouched down her level “we give them offering as a thank you for letting us through the forest.”

Aelin chuckled and removed the plastic pink bracelet she had around her wrist and placed it on the boulder near Rowan’s items “You never know… maybe they are into fashion.”

Rowan laughed and kissed his wife.

Maya removed her backpack and from it she fished out a green crayon. Rowan, lifted her in his arms so that she could placed her offering near the others “they can draw now.”

Aelin brushed her daughter’s head “they will be so happy.”

“Come on girls, let’s thank the hidden ones and continue.”

“Thank you fairy.”

“Bye bye fairy.” Added Maya walking quickly to her father.

The two boulders were side by side but in-between them there was an entrance. The path had smaller rocks and was covered in water “Walk on the rocks.”

When Maya struggled he took his daughter in his arms and passed the aperture then waited for Aelin to join him. At his side he heard a sharp intake of breath “Ro, this place is…”

He took Aelin’s hand and pulled Maya to him “welcome both to the Fairy Glen.”

The scene in front of them was otherworldly. Green land stretched in every direction, dotted with bumpy and oddly shaped hills, with the odd pond accompanying the landscape. On one side there was a rocky formation that looked like a castle. All around them the silence was only broken by the sound of water crashing in a pool from a stunning waterfall.

Aelin was speechless. The place was something she only had imagined in fantasy books. And it must have been truly stunning because Maya was silent too. Her daughter sat down at their feet and looked amazed at the landscape in front of them.

“Dada, do fairies really live here?”

Rowan nodded “See that rock formation?” He pointed at the ruins that looked like a castle “Legends says that’s the gate to Tír na nÓg.”

“Can we go and say hi? They can have my sandwich.”

Aelin laughed at her daughter’s need for adventure “I am not sure the fairies loves sandwiches.”

“But I want to see cinanoc.”

Rowan’s smiled at her daughter’s attempt to pronounce the ancient name for the fairies’ otherworld.

“We can climb and have a look.”

His daughter gave him the most stunning smile and started running freely shouting to all the fairies to come out and play.

“I think that she is scaring them,” joked Aelin, as her arm wound around her husband’s midriff “I love seeing her be so free.”

Aelin squeezed him “she loves nature just as much as you.”

He looked at his daughter with pride “come, let’s go and save the hidden ones from our daughter.”

Hand in hand they reached Maya who was now trying to climb the rock formation on her own. Rowan switched in fuss mode and joined her “easy, be careful, my love.”

“Dada I am a good climber.”

Aelin chuckled and accepted her husband’s hand to climb the first rockier part.

Maya, with the help of her dad, was the first one to reach the top of the ruined formation and started shouting in happiness declaring the glen beautiful and then counted all of the mounds “mum, dad, there are a lot of houses for fairies.”

Aelin took a lot of photos of the landscape but also of her daughter. She was working on a series of albums with Maya’s stages in life. She wanted to document her daughter’s life.

“Dada, waterfall?” Asked Maya, as soon as she was done with the castle.

Carefully, Rowan helped his family descend and once down Maya started running once again.

“If we are lucky she will be so exhausted that she will go to bed early.”

Rowan kissed his wife’s head “that’s wishful thinking. She has limitless energy like you.”

Aelin hummed in pleasure and with her hand in his she followed him through the stunning glen and along the path to the waterfall. Maya always in front of them, running from one side to the other all excited.

It took them a good half hour but eventually the waterfall appeared in front of them, tall and majestic, water cascading forcefully in the pristine pool below.

“Dada, water.”

Aelin looked at him and nodded “Yes, I have a set of spare clothes, just in case.”

It took them two seconds of distraction, that Maya was already at the bank of the pool, her hand reaching playfully for the water.

“Maya, darling, careful.”

“I am saying hi to the water fairies.”

Rowan laughed. He had read her stories of the water nymphs and their legends and now Maya wanted to say hi to them every time she was near water.

Aelin moved at his side and sat on the bank and removed her shoes, placing her feet in the fresh water “like this, Maya.”

The little girl followed her mother and clumsily tried to remove her boots.

Rowan kneeled and helped her free her tiny feet “Go, do like mum.”

“Hi nymphs, my feet are not smelly.” She admitted as she splashed happily and her parents laughed at her admission.

“Come on big man, join us.”

Rowan removed his hiking boots, rolled his trousers to his knees and stepped in the pool, the water barely brushing his calf.

“Me too.” Maya was about to climb in the water but Rowan grabbed her “Let mum remove your trousers, then you can splash too.”

Aelin removed the item of clothing from her excited girl and Rowan hugged her, her legs dangling freely and she laughed as he dipped her and then pulled her out quickly.

“Swim?”

“No my love, the water it’s too cold for swimming. We just play like this, okay?”

“Dada, fishes!” She squirmed in his arms and he let her down in the very shallow side of the pool, standing behind her for protection.

Aelin in the meantime was relaxing in the sun, watching father and daughter play.

“Mama, come in water with us?”

At her daughter request she stood and joined her family “Maya, let’s thank the water nymphs for letting us play in their water.”

“Thank you water fairy.”

By the time they finished their little adventure in the pool, Aelin had to change her daughter completely as she expected. Maya loved water and she and Rowan had soon discovered that it was impossible for them to keep her away.

While Aelin sorted out Maya, Rowan had started taking out their lunches. His girls would soon start screaming for food, and the bank of the pool was a perfect spot, it was secluded and stunning.

“Maya, now sit with your mum and let’s have lunch.”

“Food,” screamed the two girls and he. Laughed. He knew them very well.

He had prepared a nice spread of sandwiches and other healthy snacks and Aelin complained about the crazy amount of vegetables “Buzzard, we are out on an adventure, more chocolate and less veggies?”

He smirked and dunked a carrot in some hummus and passed it to Aelin who let her husband feed her “well, if you put it this way.”

“Our daughter is here,” he added at her sensual tone.

“As if the water nymphs had never seen us getting busy in a loch.”

Rowan laughed and kissed her lips “you are such a menace.”

“Maya kiss too.”

Rowan grabbed his daughter in a bear hug and landed on the ground with her in his arms, while he peppered her face with kisses. Aelin joined them a second later and Rowan enveloped her too.

Once the picnic was over, Rowan led his two women to his next destination. Maya had moved on his shoulders and Aelin was at his side, her hand always in his. She had tried to protest and swap backpacks, but Rowan was adamant that he could carry their daughter and the big rucksack at the same time.

As they got closer to the waterfall, the roar of the water grew in intensity.

“Pretty.” Added Maya once they were right in front of it.

Rowan grinned and kept walking until they reached a fenced path that took them right underneath.

The cave allowed them protection from the water, but the view was stunning.

Maya leaned forward to touch the water and Rowan allowed it and the girl screamed in excitement.

Aelin tucked at his side and looked up at father and daughter. Both of them with faces lit up but a beautiful smile. Rowan had sometimes the reputation of being a grump, but only she and Maya knew his true self. She treasured dearly the smiles he’d reserve to her and Maya. She looked at him and kissed his shoulder “love you.”

“Love you too mama.”

Rowan looked down in his wife blue eyes and mouthed an I love you.

They stood a few minutes, but as it got colder away from the sun, he prompted his girl to go the final part of the hike “Come on, there is one last surprise.”

Back on the path Maya started protesting to climb back down so Rowan let her free once more.

Not long after they arrived in a secluded clearing. Maya had sat on the grass and was staring at the scene in front of her.

In the middle of that patch of land stood tall ancient stones arranged in an almost perfect circle.

“Welcome to this ancient site dedicated to Mala.”

Maya looked up and smiled at her dad. She knew of the ancient gods and like her mother, she loved Mala the fire-bringer.

The little girl stood and went running and hugged one of the tall stones and her mother joined her a moment later.

Rowan laughed, took a picture of them both, knowing that it was going to become his new home screen and joined them.

“Legends say that she had a house in the woods and this area is quite famous among rangers for its higher numbers of stags, that as we know, it was the animal sacred to Mala,” he explained “when I was a ranger I used to patrol this area a lot. Stags are a sacred animal in Terrasen and it’s illegal to hunt them. Poachers would kill them just for their majestic antlers.”

“Bad.” Added Maya quietly.

Rowan brushed her silver hair “yes, my love.”

He took his two girl in the centre of the ring and sat down with them, Maya between his legs and Aelin tucked against his side, his arm around her waist.

The three of them stood as Rowan told them legends of the ancient gods or just folktales. He was in the middle of a tale about Mala, when a stag appeared from behind a tree.

Maya squirmed in his arms but he held her back, not wanting to scare the animal away.

The stag moved closer and Rowan extended his hand and the animal approached them allowing him to gently caress its head between the antlers. Maya and Aelin copied him and in surprise the stag licked their hand and Maya squealed in delight, then she reached for her backpack and took out a piece of her sandwich. She placed it on her hand and offered to the animal in front of her. The stag smelled it and then ate it quickly “She likes it.” Another few morsel, a last lick of hands, and then the stag walked away just as quietly as it had arrived. Maya looked at her parents in amazement.

“I think Mala likes us very much.”

They spent another good hour in the sacred site, then Rowan convinced them it was time to move and start to walk back towards the car.

By the time they arrived at the car park, Maya was asleep on his shoulders. He placed in her car seat and then turned to Aelin who was staring towards the waterfall. He embraced her from behind “She will never forget this, you know?”

Rowan kissed her head “I hope not,” another kiss “You are both my firehearts, and Mala today has shown me that she approves of both of you.”

Aelin turned in his arms and looked up in her husband beautiful green eyes.

“Yes, I am fool enough to pray to the goddess of fire to let me love a woman with fire in her veins.”

She stood on her tip toes and kissed him “I melted your icy heart.”

“That you did, my love.”

A soft kiss “come on, let’s take our little terror home, then I might take you up on the challenge you threw me at the loch.”

Aelin squeezed his arse playfully “hmm, you can tire me out all you want.”

Deep laughter left his lips.

As he walked around the car to the driver’s seat he cast a last look towards the woods and sent a silent blessing to the ancient gods and asked Mala to look after his family.

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ewan-mo · 7 months

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Getting started.

Monday 18th September 2023.

Yesterday it was good to have breakfast with Linda, who had arrived safely. We were collected by Abdu and his minibus midmorning and came to Kampala. We were warned that the roads around Kampala would usually be busy on Sunday and Monday morning as it was the start of the new school term so parents would be taking children to school. We were early enough to avoid the worst of it but others later said the roads were very busy.

We had lunch at one of the cafes we know before going to the ARU (The Association of the Religious in Uganda) conference centre. The nuns, led by sister Lydia, gave us a warm and genuine welcome. Nothing was too much trouble for them. We have comfortable ensuite rooms. The participants trickled in during the evening, some having travelled overnight by bus, others all day. We have known some of our delegates for ten years.

The two accommodation blocks.

Ewan and I had visited the conference centre and met the nuns in February. We thought our young delegates would like this setting, with lovely bedrooms and excellent conference facilities. As they arrived in the evening they were very impressed by the specially warm welcome and careful attention to detail by the nuns.

I was bowled over as we two came into the meeting room first thing this morning. The tables had been set out with beautiful soft blue pleated table cloths, and there were little pots of colourful artificial flowers on each. It all looked so pretty.

When I thanked Sister Lydia (with yet another hug), she waved lightly at her head and said “It all helps with mental health!”

Sister Lydia opened our proceedings with prayer, including a beautiful soft musical prayer.

Our programme today began with getting our students together to catch up and share news of the challenges they have faced and solutions they’ve come up with. They love being together and there is a lot of laughter and affection for each other. Many of them work in relative isolation in rural areas or in the midst of big cities.

As with our patients, our mental health tribe of professionals face stigma from so many sources, and it’s great for them to join again with their colleagues and share their love for working in mental health.

The morning programme continued with reflections on a research paper which illustrated how many patients default from treatment, and the reasons for that. Often it’s because they want the treatment that will heal them completely. Like many conditions, major mental illnesses need long term treatment.

Two of the delegates with the JF bags they have just been given

This afternoon we were on drugs and alcohol!

We’ve had some changes in the programme, for example with the other two psychiatrists who were originally coming having to drop out. I’ve had a bit of extra work to do, both presenting material devised by others and also drastically pruning powerpoints so that my local colleagues could share in the presenting bit - they haven’t had the many years of practice I’ve had in ‘winging it’.

The programme includes subjects requested by the local teams and other items suggested by us from our observations. It’s a fun mix. We have a mix of presenters too.

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atths--twice · 1 year

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Chapter Thirteen

It's time. Time to learn more about Fox and his past.

“Sure she won’t wake up? Our talking won’t bother her?” Fox asked as he handed Dana the blanket and watched her covering Ivy.

“No, she’s a heavy sleeper. Once she’s out, she’s out for the night. Unless it’s a bad dream, she’ll be asleep until morning. Plus, living in a small apartment and sharing a room, she’s used to noises going on around her.”

“That’s good,” he said with a nod. “I’m going to get some wine. Sure you don’t want any?”

“I’ll have a small glass, thanks.”

He walked to the kitchen and poured the remaining wine into two glasses and brought them to the dining room table. Pulling a chair out, he glanced at her, silently asking her to join him. She walked over and did so, watching him as he sat down.

He sighed, looking at his glass of wine, not sure how to start.

“Hey,” Dana said quietly, touching his hand.

“Sorry, I…” He shook his head and raised his head, looking into her eyes. She smiled softly and he sighed again. “I uh… it’s…”

“Something to do with your sister?”

“What?” he asked her in surprise. “What do you mean?” She smiled again and lightly stroked the back of his hand.

“I’ve noticed that you’ve been different since she was here. Not in a bad way,” she said hurriedly, shaking her head. “You’ve just been quieter… and… distant. Sometimes it seems like you’re very far away.” She stared at him and he could see worry in her eyes. “I hope that wasn’t too… invasive? No, that’s not the right word. Um-”

“No, you’re right,” he whispered, nodding his head. “You’re very observant. I have felt far away recently.”

“Is everything okay? Your sister’s okay?”

“Yeah. She’s good. Everyone… they’re all good.”

“Okay.” She smiled again and he exhaled.

Moving his hand from hers, he picked up his glass and took a drink. Licking his lips, he nodded. Taking one more drink, he set the glass down and sighed.

“The other day you asked about my ability to live the way I do without a real job-”

“No!” she interrupted, shaking her head. “I didn’t say what you do isn’t a real job. I would never… I… if I gave you that impression, I’m so sorry. That’s not how I meant it. Not at all. You… I don’t think…” She shook her head again and this time he touched her hand, attempting to apologize.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s not the phrase you used. I apologize. I meant… I don’t have a-”

“A traditional job,” she replied and he smiled.

“Right. A traditional job.” He squeezed her hand and then let go. “That’s what I meant to say.”

“Okay,” she said, sighing with a nod.

“We didn’t really discuss everything. I wanted to, but… the conversation became something else and honestly, I’m glad it did. The busy diner on your lunch break was not really the place to talk about things.” He swallowed and then exhaled deeply, his eyes once again on his glass as he prepared himself for what he was about to say. “When I was nineteen, my parents were killed in a car accident.”

She gasped and he closed his eyes, his throat suddenly very dry and thick from the truth of the words.

“Oh my god,” she whispered, grasping his hand and holding it. “I am so sorry.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly, clearing his throat as he opened his eyes, clinging to her hand.

“What happened?”

“After the holidays, usually the middle of January, my parents would go to this bed and breakfast place they loved. They had done it for years, going away on a Thursday evening and coming home late Sunday afternoon. The holidays were always big at our place: parties and dinners, round robin Christmas cookie baking with the neighbors, caroling, helping at local shelters. My mother was always exhausted after it had all wound down and everything was stored away again. She needed a chance to recharge and my father was happy to do anything that pleased her, so it became a standing tradition.” He smiled, thinking of his mother’s laughter and his father winking as he hurried her out the door.

“They went on Thursday as planned and everything was normal until Saturday night.” Dana squeezed his hand and he sighed. “I was home from college that weekend, both to visit and to be there with Samantha, although she claimed she didn’t need anyone to watch her. She was sixteen and while she didn’t, she also did, just to be sure she was okay.”

“Understandable,” Dana said softly and he nodded.

“It was eleven thirty and we were watching a movie when the house line rang, surprising both of us. No one called on that line, especially not at that hour. We each had cell phones and anyone wanting to reach either of us would have called our phones. Samantha was the one who answered it, something I wish I could go back and change.”

“You didn’t know,” Dana whispered and he looked at her, finding her eyes wet. He nodded again, sighing as he closed his eyes.

“She said hello and then confirmed her name, looking back at me in confusion. I paused the movie and asked who it was, but she just shook her head. Then…” He paused and dropped his head, drawing in a deep breath. “… she kept saying what do you mean, I don’t understand what you’re saying. I got up and as I was walking toward her, her face went white and she dropped the phone. It hit the floor and pieces shattered from it, the person’s voice disappearing.”

“God…” Dana cried softly and he shook his head, remembering the moment.

“She screamed and I had to calm her down, asking her who it was and what they had said, confused as to who had called. She covered her ears and kept saying it’s not true, it’s not true. I…” Standing up suddenly, he began to pace in tight circles, clenching and unclenching his fists. “When I finally got it out of her, I didn’t believe it either. The phone was broken and I had to search my cell phone to find the sheriff’s department in the town where my parents were. It took so many tries to type it correctly…” He shook his head and let out a deep breath. “The sheriff was quiet and kind, apologizing for the news and the hour, asking us to please come immediately.”

He stopped pacing and stood in place, sniffling and breathing deeply.

“The whole way there, Samantha held my hand, refusing to believe it, saying he had to be wrong. She had spoken to my mom only a few hours before they went to dinner when she had called to check in on us. The police had it wrong, she was convinced of it.” He shook his head and scrubbed a hand down his face. “It rained the whole way, absolutely pouring down by the time we arrived at one thirty in the morning.“

He shook his head again, closing his eyes as he pictured the small sheriff’s department and the kind eyes of the man who greeted them.

“The sheriff brought us into a room, asking us to please sit down. Neither of us did. We couldn’t. He nodded and said he understood, apologizing again for the circumstances we found ourselves in. He told us what had happened. That… that it had been raining and he believed they hydroplaned into one another. Head on collision. Our parents and the other driver died on impact.”

“Oh, Fox,” Dana whispered, sniffling and taking deep breaths.

“Samantha didn’t believe him. Called him a liar. Swore at him. He took it and didn’t get angry with her, just apologized repeatedly. He told us he had some of their personal effects and I knew then it was not a mistake. But I waited, hoping against the impossible hope.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “He brought in a purse and a coat. Samantha was breathing hard beside me, shaking her head and saying no over and over again as he laid them on the table. I knew then that the hope I was holding onto was gone. It was my mother’s purse, the one she used for special evenings, and my father’s winter coat that he loved. My mother always jokingly threatened to buy him a new one and he told her she would be wasting her money because he loved that coat so much. He wore it from winter to spring, no matter their destination.”

He chuckled bitterly and shook his head as he opened his eyes, staring at the floor. Swallowing, he drew in a breath.

“It could have been a coincidence, could have been someone else’s identical items, but when I opened my father’s coat and reached into the inside pocket, I found the picture he always carried with him.” He heard Dana sniffle and he let out a shaky breath.

“We were in a park near our house taking our yearly family photos when I was fourteen and Samantha was eleven. As we lined up, my father was standing behind us and he said rump tump tugger just loud enough for Samantha and I to hear. I don’t know why it was so funny, aside from the play on the name from Cats, but we started laughing and that’s when the photographer took the first picture. When we got them back, my father laughed and immediately put that picture into his coat pocket. He showed it to everyone, outdated as it was, telling them the story of the photoshoot, repeating rump tump tugger and chuckling.”

He exhaled and rubbed at his eyebrows, shaking his head again.

“When we saw that picture, Samantha made this guttural sound that I’d never heard before and never want to hear again. She grabbed my arm and started to fall. I caught her and we both fell to the floor, her fainting and me crying as I held her.”

“Fox,” Dana whispered. He looked at her, her cheeks wet with tears. “I’m sorry. So so sorry.”

“Yeah,” he said with a nod, his eyes dropping back down to the floor. “We stayed with the sheriff for a couple of days while we attempted to figure things out. His wife mothered us, making meals we couldn’t eat and helping any way she could. She asked around for help collecting clothes and other items we hadn’t brought with us. They were both exceptionally kind.”

“That’s good,” Dana said quietly. He glanced at her again and she smiled softly.

“Neighbors and friends of my parents came over once we were home and they had heard what happened. They brought food and asked how they could help, but I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to let them be into our space. Even with people around us offering kind and comforting words, it felt like we were alone because no one else understood how we were feeling.”

“Fox, I am so sorry,” Dana whispered, wiping at her eyes. “For you both to have gone through that… so young… I’m so sorry.”

He sighed and nodded, looking down again. When he looked up, his eyes landed on Ivy sleeping on the couch. He watched her breathing and his eyes filled with tears, remembering the nights he had slept holding Samantha’s hand, her cries waking him as he tried to calm her.

“Uh…” he said, clearing his throat and wiping his eyes. “One of their friends was a lawyer and he had drawn up legal documents for my parents years before. They had a will as well as instructions for their burials.”

He began to pace again, running a hand through his hair.

“Everything was left to us, aside from some money left to charities my mother supported. Our house was paid for and even if it wasn’t, the money from my parents' life insurance policies alone would have covered it,” he said with a deep sigh. “We each had a college fund, plus trust funds that had been set up with money from our grandparents. Though I never actually knew my father’s parents, both of them dying before I was born, they left money to him for his future children. My mother’s parents died within a year of each other when I was ten, and they also left money to Samantha and I to be kept in the trust fund until we came of age.”

“They all made sure you were taken care of,” Dana said quietly. “It’s what parents do.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, letting out a sigh. He walked over and sat back down, his forearms on his knees and his hands clasped together. Dana said nothing, but he could hear her breathing softly.

“The will stated what would happen to both of us, should they pass, but it hadn’t been updated in a couple of years. Their lawyer friend said he reminded my father, but things kept coming up and they never did it,” he said, clasping and unclasping his hands. “I was an adult, but Samantha was still a minor. She had just turned sixteen in November and…” He shook his head and sat up, rubbing his hands on his pants.

“We had an aunt, my grandmother’s sister, who lived in Idaho. We barely knew her, but as our only family, she had been chosen as our guardian. But like I said, I was an adult and I didn’t need a guardian, well… not legally anyway,” he said with a deep sigh. “But Samantha…” He looked at Dana and she gasped, a hand at her throat.

“She had to leave you? After you both had just lost your parents?”

“No. I would never have allowed that to happen.”

“Then…?”

“I petitioned the court to become her guardian.”

“Oh, Fox…” she breathed, reaching to grasp his hand.

“I had to. I couldn’t…” He picked up his wine glass and took a drink. Setting it down, he squeezed her hand and nodded. “Our aunt had to agree to the decision, and I know at first she had her concerns, but I was prepared to fight for Samantha. I couldn’t lose her.”

“Oh, Fox,” Dana whispered again.

“We had financial stability. I was a straight A student and currently enrolled in my second year of college, I had nothing against me. My aunt was in her mid seventies and though she would have taken Samantha in, I know she was happy to have us stay together. She gave us her permission and by May, I was officially Samantha’s legal guardian.”

Dana whimpered and leaned forward in her chair. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she whispered how sorry she was for him. He put his arms around her waist and took a deep breath, pressing his nose into her shoulder.

“The cat… it’s small and… the tree,” Ivy suddenly said in her sleep.

He raised his head and watched her moving around on the couch, rubbing at her face and moaning softly.

“She’s okay,” Dana whispered, pulling back from him and glancing behind her at Ivy. “She does that sometimes.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” she said, smiling softly as she looked back at him. He nodded as he met her eyes, glancing once more at Ivy who was now still and breathing deeply again.

“So…” He cleared his throat and licked his lips, suddenly feeling nervous.

“You took on an adult sized role when you were barely one yourself,” she said, covering his hand with hers.

“I had to.”

“Of course you did. I would expect nothing less from the person I have gotten to know. My friend…” She smiled softly, squeezing his hand as he nodded.

“It wasn’t always easy.”

“No, I can’t imagine it was.”

“I quit school for a while, needing to focus on other things. Samantha was out until late March. When she went back it was supposed to be half days only, but she had a panic attack the first day, sobbing uncontrollably, and I had to come and get her. After that, we made arrangements for her to work from home for the rest of the school year. I helped with her assignments, when she was willing to work on them, and she scraped by with passing grades. She had always excelled at her studies but honestly, neither of us cared at that point. We were just trying to keep our heads above water,” he said, shaking his head. “When summer came, we both felt a sense of relief. From school anyway, not the grief that still hung heavy on us.”

“No, it was so soon after it happened. I wouldn’t think it had lessened yet.”

“No,” he agreed with a nod. “I felt a change would be good and I asked one of my parents' friends if we could stay at their beach house for a month. It had kindly been offered and I had turned it down, but now I felt it would be a good idea. They agreed and we left.” He smiled slightly as he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hand across his mouth.

“It was exactly what we needed. A change from what we’d been living- struggling to get through and survive. We stocked up on groceries, essentials as well as junk food. We stayed up late and slept in, there was no schedule. Samantha walked on the beach, always in sight of the house, and I could see her talking, but I could not hear any of the words she was saying. She would scream sometimes, throwing huge handfuls of sand at the waves, falling to her knees and crying. When I saw that, I would go to her and we would cry together.”

He crossed his arms and closed his eyes as he let out a breath.

“Things changed on that trip. We talked about what we should do moving forward and what our parents would have expected of us. It wasn’t that it was time to stop mourning or get over the pain, but we needed to figure out how to not let it consume us. To not let it overtake everything in our lives. Both of us needed to work harder with our schooling and have more social outlets. And counseling. We both agreed we needed that, recognizing we were both suffering.”

“That’s good,” Dana said and he nodded as he opened his eyes.

“When we came back, we found a therapist that we met with together and then separately. She was an older woman, kind and soft spoken. I really liked her, especially for Samantha. I saw a change in her after only a few meetings and it helped a lot. For months I had been sleeping next to Samantha in some way: on an air mattress on the floor of her room, sitting outside her door, or both of us on the big sectional couch in the living room. She had trouble falling asleep and once she was, she had terrible nightmares. The therapist prescribed us both medication for anxiety and sleeping. Samantha took both right away and it helped immensely. I was worried about taking the sleep aid as I needed to be alert to hear her if she woke up. But once Samantha was sleeping better, I started taking it and it helped so much. I was back in my own bed again and she was in hers, but we both slept with the doors open for a while, still needing that connection.”

“Fox,” Dana said quietly and he looked at her. She smiled and shook her head, laying her hand on the table, silently asking for his own. He placed his hand in hers and she squeezed it, covering it with her other hand. “To do that for your sister... to take care of both of you… you are a good person.”

“I just-”

“No,” she said, shaking her head again. “There is no just when it comes to this. Not every brother would have done that, not only taking on the role of guardian and parent, but staying by her and making sure she was comforted at your own expense. Not everyone would do that, especially a person of your age. College years are your dumb years- drinking, missing class, dating, partying. And you gave it up to be a de facto parent.”

“I had to.”

She sighed and looked at their joined hands, shaking her head.

“Legally and technically you didn’t,” she said softly, looking up at him with kind eyes. “Your aunt had been selected to raise Samantha, both of you really, but it wasn’t needed for you. But, you…” She gently squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile. “… you fought to keep her with you because it was best for her. Yes, for you too, but mostly for her. To keep her in the home you both grew up in, where your memories resided, where she needed to be without a doubt. But not everyone would want that responsibility as a nineteen year old kid… Well, not a kid, but…” She shrugged and smiled again. “You are a good person, a good brother, a good man, for doing that for her, Fox. And if someone hasn’t said it before, or not recently, I’m telling you now because you need to hear it.”

He drew in a deep breath and nodded as tears filled his eyes. He bent his head to rest it on his arm on the table and he cried, her words finding their way into his heart like a balm he had not known he needed.

He felt her hand move and then it was on his head, her fingers running slowly through his hair. She leaned closer to him and whispered that it was okay. She hummed and scratched gently at his scalp as he cried more than he had in a long time.

He thought of those early days and how broken they had both been, how he would lie awake beside Samantha, worrying if he would be strong enough to take care of both of them. If he had made the right decision and if he would be able to be both brother and parent to her.

He would wait until he was sure she was asleep before he cried, the deep sobs he had felt he needed to keep her from seeing, not wanting to worry or scare her. Nothing would have made him happier in those moments of sadness than to feel his mother’s hands on him, to hear her whisper that it was okay and she would take care of things.

But she was gone and it was only the two of them.

“It’s okay, Fox. It’s okay,” Dana whispered and he drew in a deep breath, attempting to stop his tears.

Her hand went to his back, where she ran her fingers softly from side to side in a figure eight pattern and he suddenly remembered something from his childhood.

“Infinity is a long time,” he had said to his mother one day when he was about nine. “It never ends. Did you know that?”

“I did,” she had said with a smile. “It does that because it’s infinite. It keeps coming back and pushing out.”

“What do you mean?”

“Have you ever seen the symbol for infinity?”

“No.”

“Well…” she had said, picking up a black pen and taking his hand into hers. “The symbol is like this, an eight on its side.” She had carefully drawn it on the top of his hand, making a soft whooshing sound as she did. “See? Like that. It never ends because it loops right back and starts again. It might be a long infinity, might be small, but it’s always making its way back to the start.”

He had looked at it, tracing his finger over it and making the same soft whooshing sound, as his mother had chuckled softly.

“Some people say it represents love, that it’s infinite and never ending.”

“That’s gross,” he had said and she had laughed, pulling him to her and hugging him close.

“You’ll change your mind about that kind of love one day, my boy. But just know, my love for you is infinite. It will last forever, never changing, always on a path back to the start, to love you all over again. Always.”

He had forgotten about that conversation and how she had traced the infinity symbol on his hand as she said it. Feeling Dana tracing the familiar pattern now, something she had done without thought, a sense of peace and calm washed over him.

She hummed again and he sighed deeply, his tears subsiding. He lifted his head and a napkin was handed to him as Dana smiled softly.

“Thanks,” he said quietly, wiping his eyes and blowing his nose. “Thanks for listening.”

“Thank you for telling me,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah.” He nodded and let out a sigh, blowing his nose again. Standing up, he threw the napkin away and washed his hands before rejoining her at the table and continuing the story.

“We obviously made it through, but it was tough. Samantha started back to school in the fall and so did I at the local college instead of the university I had been at previously. I took morning classes in order to be home by two. We both cooked our meals, but she became far better at it than me, learning all my mother’s recipes and perfecting them.” Dana laughed softly and nodded.

“The lasagna was delicious,” she agreed and he nodded.

“She graduated high school with honors two years later and just as I was finishing college, she was off to it. She chose the local community college, as she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do and she didn’t want to leave home.”

“Understandable.”

“She met a boy there on her first day, or I should say, became reacquainted as they already knew each other, but she didn’t really remember him,” he said with a smile. “He was a year ahead of her in high school and apparently had a secret crush on her for years.”

“That’s adorable.”

“It gets better,” he said, smiling at her. “His name is Greg and for a year after our parents died, when she was back in school and walking home, he would follow her, keeping a safe distance so she didn’t know, to make sure she got home okay. He would wait until he saw her go inside before he would then walk back to school and to the public bus stop that would take him home. If he happened to miss the bus, he would start walking, catching the next one when it came by. He could have taken the school bus right after school, but he chose her well-being over his own. All in total, every day he went six miles out of his way, to be sure she was safe.” He smiled again and she stared at him, her eyes wide. “They have been married for eight years now, have seven-year-old twin boys, and they live in our childhood home.”

“Oh my God,” Dana said, covering her mouth, tears in her eyes. “I was hoping you would say they were together, but that…” She shook her head and he nodded with a smile.

“Yeah. He’s good people,” he said, remembering Samantha saying the same thing about Dana.

“He sounds it.”

“He really is. And a great dad. Samantha earned her associates degree and declared she was finished with college. Greg had proposed to her on Valentine’s Day and she said she would rather be a wife and eventually a mother. She was young, but I wholeheartedly agreed with her decision, as I saw how happy Greg made her. She was even happier when the boys were born, doting on them lovingly. Once they were in preschool however, she had more time on her hands and she began to toy with a business idea. The boys had been sensitive to so many products as babies, she had resorted to making her own soaps and lotions for them. She started approaching companies about them, but they weren’t too interested. A small business started by a “stay at home mom” didn’t grab their attention immediately.” He sighed, remembering how angry he had felt when he heard they had described her that way. “I offered to help, suggested she use the money from her trust fund to build the business, but she refused to use much. After what happened to us, she said that money was for the boys, should anything happen to her. She finally found some interested investors and it’s really taken off. She was here to meet with some companies that had turned her down before, but now saw the value of it. They are rolling out new designs and planning to expand her brand, making items for adults as well as children.”

“Wow, good for her. What brand is it? I tried so many with Ivy. She wasn’t sensitive, but I wanted to get her what was best and safest. And affordable,” she said, taking a drink of wine.

“It’s called Gentle Baby.”

“What?!” Dana said, choking slightly. “That stuff is amazing. It’s so nice. The lotion isn’t greasy or heavy and it smells so good, not perfumey, but just clean. Oh my God…” She shook her head and he smiled. “It’s a little pricey, for me anyway, but I buy it when I can. The bubble bath is so good and Ivy loves it too, I just have to use it sparingly.”

“Hang on a second,” he said, smiling as he stood up and walked into his bedroom.

On his dresser was a box full of Gentle Baby products, in the new teal bottles with orange and yellow flowers, that Samantha had left as a thank you for staying with him. He had always liked the lotion and soaps, but he could give these ones away. He knew the supplier and could get them anytime.

Carrying the box to the table, he set it down and smiled at Dana whose eyes widened as she stood to her feet with a gasp.

“Oh! The new design is beautiful! The colors really make it pop. I love it.”

“Good. They’re yours.”

“What? No,” she said, shaking her head.

“You think I brought them out here just to show them to you? That would be awfully cruel of me,” he said with a chuckle.

“But I… I can’t,” she said, even as she lifted the large bottle of bubble bath, opened the top, and took a deep sniff as she closed her eyes. “God, that smells good.” He laughed again and she opened her eyes, taking another sniff. “Are you sure?”

“I have direct contact with the supplier. I’m sure.”

“Thank you,” she said, closing the bottle and putting it back. “Oh, the body butter… I always wanted to try this one, but it seemed extravagant to buy it without knowing if I’d like it. God! It smells delicious.” He laughed and nodded, knowing it did indeed smell good.

“I’ll let her know how much you enjoy it.”

“She won’t be angry that you gave it to me?”

“No,” he said, imagining the look of happiness on Samantha’s face. “She’ll be ecstatic knowing you like it.” She nodded and put the body butter back, looking at him with a smile.

“Thank you,” she said again.

“You’re welcome.”

“Thank you for everything tonight. Dinner, letting Ivy help with the dishes. She told me she really liked doing that with you.”

“Good. I did too.”

She stared at him and then stepped closer, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him, her cheek pressed against his chest. He hugged her back and sighed, closing his eyes and breathing in her scent.

“I’m so sorry about your parents. So sorry you will forever carry that with you.”

“Hmm,” he hummed, letting out a steadying breath and nodding, squeezing her gently before letting her go. He smiled as he stepped back and then glanced at Ivy.

“Should probably get that girl to bed, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yeah,” she agreed, her eyes never leaving his face.

Thirty minutes later he was back in his apartment, having traveled with them to be sure they got home safely. He had carried Ivy, who never woke up, down the hall and out of the building where they had caught a cab. He had held her on the short drive, Dana holding the backpack and the box of Gentle Baby products.

Up the stairs to their apartment he had then carried Ivy, out of breath when they had finally reached the door. Straight to her bed, he had laid her down and whispered goodnight as she turned over and sighed deeply, her arms reaching out for Pandy.

He had said goodnight to Dana, who had hugged him again, kissing his cheek as she whispered goodnight.

He chose to walk home, breathing in the cold night air.

Taking a quick shower once he had arrived at home, he put on his pajamas, brushed his teeth, and got into bed.

He was asleep in minutes. No dreams found him, his sleep better than any he’d had in a very long time.

#the x files #xf fanfic #msr #developing friendship #stories of the past #sharing #understanding #listening and caring

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softlyfiercely · 1 year

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FOR THoSE FOLLOWING THE #EASTERBASKETS SAGA

I can happily report that while it was still a bit of a clusterfuck, it was a clusterfuck in predictable and unavoidable ways, for which I was prepared for, and

I TOTALLY PULLED IT OFF.

So, initially, I'd decided to make the "Easter Gift Making" event begin at 1:00 in the afternoon on Holy Saturday. I chose this time because it would have been a major hassle to include lunch in the program but it needed to be early enough in the day to allow time for drivers to deliver them but also not require people to wake up early on a Saturday, so can't be "after breakfast before lunch."

(Church programming for children and families almost always includes food, so I either needed to meet that expectation or explicitly buck it)

HOWEVER

All the schools in this area happen to be on spring break THIS WEEK, so like 90% of the most engaged, involved children & families were like "sorry we won't be there for any Holy Week stuff"

(this has caused some Consternation re: children's involvement in Maundy Thursday and Palm Sunday and Good Friday stuff, so, it's just been part of the larger situation surrounding The Easter Baskets)

so, I'd only heard from two families that they were coming, and it's two kids who are friends, so then one family said they actually had a conflict at 1:00 but could come at 11:00, I was like you know what, sure. we'll be there at 11:00.

But of course there still has to be something for kids who arrive at 1:00 to do, because that WAS the initially set time for the event, and we don't technically require RSVPs, it's just that things are so shoestring right now that it comes down to stuff like this.

so I tell the other family "hey, if your kid comes at 1:00, they might be the only one there, but their friend will be there at 11:00" and they were like ok cool we can actually change our plans

so then at 11:00 I just set up with two kids and we got going.

unfortunately if you remember from chapter one of this saga i am inexplicably sharing on tumblr, the whole activity of "making the easter gifts" was designed to be something where a bunch of kids (6-12 is the average attendance at these things) can have a good time making them. so it was just very different Vibes. and we set up in the kitchen where one kid's mom was setting up for tomorrow's Easter Brunch instead of the usual children's programming space, and we just got to it

the two kids had a great time, they got to be very involved and hands-on. and the Easter gifts got made and they were lovely - I wish I could have taken a photo for y'all but there would be no way to show them to you without being somehow identifying.

we cut and tied ribbons around the jars. they filled the jars with water and arranged the flowers in the jars. then they put these watercolor flower stickers on some pastel colored gift bags I'd gotten.

then they colored in cards that i had made, which had a FUCKING TASTEFUL AND CUTE, NOT BANANAS "Happy Easter" line drawing with crosses and bunnies that the kids could color in, and then on the inside it said "my name is" "i am years old" "my Easter prayer for you is" and the kids, in their adorable little kid handwriting and spelling, wrote their names, their ages, and their Easter prayers which were things like "we are thikig of you" and "haav a joyful easter"

and then they helped me make sure one of each thing that i had prepared earlier (chocolate bar, Easter bulletin, "scriptural item," and card signed by priest) was in each bag.

as a bonus, because we only had two kids, and one of the kids belonged to the parent who was there prepping tomorrow's brunch, she just kind of fed us lunch from the leftovers of what she was making, so the food thing actually totally worked out

then, of course I had to wait until 1:00, and sure enough, a family showed up with their two kids, and by then the other two kids had left for their other engagements, so it was awkward in that way of "yay...you're the only ones here..." but I was prepared for that as much as I could be, and so we set up with the cards and they made some more cards, and we added them to the bags.

and i got some quality one-on-one time with the kids, who haven't been around as much so I don't know them as well, and we had some good bonding, and the cards they made were really sweet (they were a bit older than the other kids, the children's program is all ages 5-11 which is a wide developmental range)

and THEN, THE DELIVERIES which were an absolute fucking NIGHTMARE last year, but they went so smoothly.

There was one address that was pretty far out and I was worried about finding a driver for that, but then a friend of that guy's just emailed me like "hey I'll take his basket" (THEY'RE NOT BASKETS) so that was a problem solved. and then i lined up some volunteers for deliveries, but one of them dropped out last minute which would have sucked EXCEPT that the family that came late/on time was like oh we wanted to deliver some, so i got to be like oh sure yes definitely! here is a formational participation opportunity just for you!!!

and one of the other delivery volunteers sent me an email afetrwards thanking me for organizing this and saying she'd had a great time delivering them and wished she'd signed up for more!

augh - i'm just, i'm good at my job, y'all. i figured out how to make this a positive, formational, community building experience for all involved despite some pretty major challenges!

now...on to the sunrise vigil! at which i will be performing a poem! that i wrote! just now! aaahhh!

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khodorkovskaya · 9 months

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complete recap of my skating camp trip part 1

sooo buckle up besties, get yourselves a cup of tea and let me embark you on this journey with me. to figure skating summer camp!

so it took place in a town in the mountains called V. it's also a ski station. and, as lucien told me, it's quite lowkey. like it's a ski station for swiss people and it's not super touristy, compared to like verbier or crans montana. it's very old money basically. like it's super luxurious, clean and expensive, but it's not flashy like a lot of ski resorts. also it's weird bc i didn't see any young people there. there were mostly 40+ yr olds and elderly couples. and lots of good cars. again, not the flashy types, but like little porsches or just like discrete german cars. i saw one g-wagon with ukrainian number plates, but the rest were like old money cars, you know what i mean? lucien also told me that there's no airbnb there. like it's really not that much of a touristy place.

but anyway, im getting ahead of myself.

so the plan was for me to come there on sunday so that i could spend the night at lucien's parents place and not have to wake up super early on monday bc skating camp started at 8:30. but they didn't want to take me in lol. bc im not family and they were skeptical.

so i ended up waking up at 5am on monday and taking the train at 6. i arrived to the closest train station at like 7:30ish and lucien met me there to drive me to the camp.

and okay right off the bat i knew i was in for a wild ride. bc imagine, it's 7am, i was supposed to meet lucien at the café at the train station. and like as soon as i walk in, he's like super hyped. he had butler energy. like he usually looks pretty rough lol, but this time i was surprised by his appearance bc he had slicked back hair and he was wearing this like really cool red hoodie (from diving school) and the whole look was giving nutcracker like adjshjhg.

anyway, i walk in and he grabs my suitcase and exclaims "madame!!! may i offer you a coffee?" and im like umm sure yeah and he turns to the lady there and he's like "a coffee for madame please!!!! it's my treat for madame!". like it was really giving butler, i was a bit embarrassed bc he was so loud so early in the morning.

then i gave him the tshirt i made. because, getting side tracked, but every year i organise a contest for my birthday for the best video montage and the winners get tshirts with my face on it, it's a whole thing. so yeah i finally gave lucien his tshirt. and he changed into it right then and there. and again i was a bit embarrassed bc like he has a nipple and a bellybutton piercing and his hyped energy weirded everyone out i feel.

so yeah then we got in the car and he drove me around this town like 10 times. he was like "yeahhhh i want you to feel independent, madame. you should know where everything is in case you need anything".

then we got to the rink and met our coaches. and omg they're so good! so there's A who's an ex competitive skater, she went to junior worlds, four continents and sea games. and R who's her ex coach who lowkey reminded me of dave lease lol.

we were the only adults there lol. the rest were girls aged 7 to 15. we were 10 in total.

we lived in a little chalet right next to the rink, it was literally perfect!

then we went on the ice straight away. and it was my 1st time like properly skating in my new skates. and the euphoria i felt when i stepped on the ice oh myyy. i was so happy!

so the way it was organised is that we'd have 3 hours of ice per day. either 1 in the morning and 2 in the afternoon or the other way around. and during each session we'd be split into two groups and alternate between the coaches every 30 minutes.

the lessons were absolutely incredible! like idek how to explain it. but it was like high level stuff. the coaches had a very individual approach tailoured to everyone and it was so good!

after skating we had lunch. and the camp reserved a table at this super nice restaurant for us for lunch and dinner. with a gorgeous view on the valley. and the food was so good!!!! i mean it was tailored towards kids so we had pasta, chicken, chips. croque-monsieurs, that kind of thing. so nothing too spicy or too weird. but to me it was basically comfort food every day and i enjoyed it a lot!!!!

after lunch lucien suggested we go see his parents... and i was a little uneasy bc they didn't want me at their house, right? but he insisted. and i, being eastern european, was like "let's stop by the bakery and get them something for tea". lucien found it a bit strange. and he was like why, so i explained to him that it's impolite to come empty handed if you're invited to someone's house. and he was like "we're not invited, we're just gonna show up". and i was like "that's literally why we should definitely bring something!!!!".

so yeah, we stopped by the bakery and got his parents two pieces of this like pear chocolate cake.

so the parents weren't expecting us, and especially not me, so there was a bit of awkwardness there. but old people usually like me and they were very pleasantly surprised by the cake, so the awkwardness went away pretty quickly. but they were a bit on edge because we just like came without an invitation.

his dad looked a lot like the turtle from kung fu panda lol. and i think he has a cataract or some kind of old people eye problem bc his eyes were a bit weird. meanwhile the mum looked like a typical well off house wife. like makeup in the house, simple clothes that fit her well, tidy hairdo.

the chalet has been the same since the 70s, it had this kitsch 70s decor like flowery wallpaper and greens and orange-browns. they still had lucien and his sister's drawings up dating from the 70s, calendars from the 90s, some old christmas decorations, old family photos, lots of kitschy objects and decor. but it was all very tidy and, despite not being minimalist at the slightest, it didn't give off the vibe of like being hoarded, unlike a lot of poor old people's houses, you know what i mean?

then lucien wanted to show me how to ride a bike because umm yeah confession time, idk how to ride a bike. so he got out his old bike that he's cleaned the day before and we went to the flat part of the road for me to try it out. it was a lot easier than expected and i learned almost immediately.

then lucien asked me if i want to try out his electric bike and i was like sure. so i got on it and oh my god. have you guys ever tried an electric bike? the sensation is incredible! and so i took his bike and rode off lol. meanwhile he was left with the regular one.

and yeah, we ended up cycling for 17km! idk how lucien survived lol bc it was mostly uphill. like he's in such good shape but still.

we ended up missing gym class and got back right in time for the second skating session.

then lucien went home for dinner with his parents, meanwhile i had dinner with everyone else.

oof okay besties, im literally falling asleep. part 2 tomorrow! there's so much tea to spill likeeee y'all are gonna love it, this is just the beginning! laku noc 😘

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imhannahsowhat · 11 months

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I’m Finally Comfortable In My Own Skin

Growing up overseas isn’t all the glitz and glamour most people think it to be. There is no fancy expatriate lifestyle, massive house, or personal chauffeur. There is, however, feeling like you don’t belong and a loss of identity.

When I was seven years old, my dad uprooted the family and moved us all to China. First, it was Chengdu, Sichuan, for two years, then it was Shanghai for the remaining nine.

I had finally begun to get used to life in Chengdu after the jarring transition to an American international school. Then, one day, my parents announced that we were going to move to Shanghai. It destroyed my world. I had finally settled down and found comfort in the daily routine of waking up and going to school, and suddenly they’re telling me that I need to do it all over again, from the top?

And just like that, I was brought to Shanghai. Smack in the middle of the school year too. It would have been much better if I was the new kid at the beginning of the school year, when all the new kids usually arrived. But nope. A kid doesn’t get to decide when the family moves.

Anyway, this school in Shanghai was a lot bigger than my previous one in Chengdu. While the school in Chengdu’s demographic was largely Asian, with only a handful of white students, the school in Shanghai was much more diverse. However, the unfortunate truth is that, with a larger student population and greater diversity, comes social hierarchy. Yes, even at nine years old.

I quickly figured out who the “cool” kids were. Somehow, the definition seemed to fulfil these requirements: prolific in English without a trace of an Asian accent, good at sports, with an optional academic excellence. I was never great at sports, my longstanding history with asthma prevented it. So, call it internalised racism or whatever, but in an attempt to move myself up the ranks of the social ladder, I sought to distance myself from the Chinese-speaking students and associate myself with the Westernised ones. I told myself: I might look like them, but I am sure as hell not going to act like them. It didn’t really help that all the Asian kids who were already in the “upper ranks” thought exactly the same way I did. We all ended up half-assing our Chinese classes, opting for the bland sandwiches over the more flavourful soup noodles at lunchtime, and being overenthusiastic when participating in class to show that, yes, we can speak English, and exceptionally well.

A “buddy” was assigned to me on my first day of school, tasked with showing me around and getting me settled in. They were essentially forced to be my friend, for lack of a better description. This girl – R – became one of my best friends for the remainder of that school year. Although I had been acquaintances with Caucasians before this, this was the first time one of them had been a close friend. Unfortunately, after that school year, we were placed in different classes up until Year Nine. It was strange getting to know her all over again, albeit not changing much between 10 and 13 years old.

It started off great. We were attached at the hip, Mondays to Fridays. Even meeting each other at church on Sundays. We formed a wannabe rock band as our Co-Curricular Activity, she the lead singer and I the guitarist. We went on church camps together, meeting kids from other international schools across Shanghai, conveying tales of unforgettable weekends to our table of enamoured friends over lunch. We told each other everything, from crushes to family frustrations, there was nothing too personal to share.

However, that sometimes came with consequences. The phrase, brutally honest, doesn’t come from nowhere.

She started small, scrunching her nose at the smell of the occasional Chinese food I decided to have for lunch, but otherwise staying silent. Then, it was her comments about the food on our yearly school trip to parts of rural China. Something about how it was “disgusting”. I gave her my week-long supply of granola bars.

Sometimes, there would be passing remarks.

“I don’t understand why the Chinese girls hang out in such large groups. They’re so noisy.”

“Asian guys aren’t that attractive.”

The statements were never directed at me. They couldn’t possibly be. I was her best friend!

She was talking about the other Chinese kids. The other Asians.

I boiled it down to cultural differences. It’s not her fault she feels that way, she’s simply from a different culture. But somehow, somewhere, I always felt like something was a little... off. I was always trying so hard to gain her approval, trying to show her that I was “not like the other Asians”, and that I was worthy of climbing up that social ladder. I continued to half-ass my Chinese classes. I continued to eat the bland sandwiches. I worked so hard in English class that I scored higher than she did, and even offered to help her proofread her essays. I grew distant from the other Chinese-speaking kids, and even the other Asians in my year group. Most of them had outgrown their internalised racism at this point, so I was the only idiot clinging onto my false identity for dear life.

It was draining. Despite all my desperate attempts to turn a blind eye, there were times where I could feel her silent judgement radiating off of her. I started to feel as if I didn’t know who I was anymore, being one person at home and another in school. I wanted to hold my head high and be proud of my heritage, where I came from, but I was scared. I didn’t want to be judged by the person who I thought was closest to me. I wish I could say that this realisation all came to me in a sudden epiphany, but it didn’t. It took almost two years of being worn thin before I realised what was happening. In fact, it’s only in hindsight that I’m able to pinpoint exactly what I was feeling. All I knew at the time was that I was tired, and I had to get away.

So, I did. Over the course of Year 11, I slowly distanced myself from R. I decided not to continue with the band that school year, giving some sloppy, half-true excuse of having to study for the IGCSE exams. I started to hang out more with people who appreciated my heritage, most of whom I’m still in contact with till this day. With them, I shared my culture and they shared theirs with me. I was fascinated with how different, but still similar, we were. R and I were still in the same class, and of course, we would still see each other in school every day. But I didn’t care. I stopped caring. I stopped caring what she thought, I stopped caring what anyone thought. I didn’t care if my Singaporean accent slipped out while giving a presentation, I didn’t care if it seemed “uncool” to try hard in Chinese class, and I certainly didn’t care about anyone’s opinions towards my food. By the time it got to Year 12, we pretty much belonged to different social circles, only interacting during class. Year 13 was a whirlwind preparing for the IB exams, with barely any time left for socialising anyway.

Then we graduated.

Ever since then, we haven’t really kept in contact, save for the occasional “Happy Birthday!” or reply to an Instagram Story post. Very honestly, I do wish I’d done things differently. To this day, I still feel like it was a shame to let the friendship fizzle out like that. We did make some precious memories together, ones that I’ll look back upon and think, “Wow, what I’d give to be a young teenager doing crazy, cringy shit again.”

But most of all, I wish that I’d sat R down and told her that she was being, for lack of a better word, racist. That her microaggressions, despite not targeting me specifically, harmed me in ways that she couldn’t even begin to imagine. But unfortunately, I didn’t. 17-year-old me was very non-confrontational, and I didn’t give her the chance to learn from her mistakes. Despite that, I do hope that after all these years, she has had some semblance of a realisation. Even if she hasn’t, I want to thank her. I want to thank her for allowing me to learn my worth. Have I completely walked out of those few years of internalised racism? The short answer is no. But without her, I would have never learnt to treasure my heritage and be as proud of it as I am now. She taught me resilience, to hold on to my values no matter what, and for that, I thank her.

#a little story about finally understanding my identity #not that i don't still struggle with it #but i'm figuring it out step by step

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tangiblejournal56 · 1 year

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01/18/12

At Max’s since he picked me up on Sunday night. We went out to Zombie Burger with Noah, later meeting up with Thom at a dive bar. Watching Thom & Max drink their whiskey & goof around & be sarcastic together was adorable. I’m pleased they found something kindred in each other. We threw darts & played pool & I was somewhat enjoying the guys around us flirting with me in front of Max, & how he would hover closer about me. He got well & truly smashed, & we went back to his place. He started on one of his very-drunk, self-pitying rampages, only this time I felt like decking him. He started off talking about his wreck of a birthday last year, how his friend had died, the best person he knew. He spoke of what a good person she was, & how he & I are bad people. He kept repeating that, over & over, & I looked down at his legs tossed over my lap, & I wanted to say “fuck you” to him as sharply as I could. Having spent the past four years, almost to the day, trying to convince myself I am not a bad person, Max usually being the champion of that cause, I was hurt & incredibly incensed at his drunken cruelty. I know he may not have meant it in the way it came out, but it was horrible. He saw me get pissed, & I soon went to bed. He fell into the room soon after, & stumbled around apologizing. He thought I was upset because he wasn’t available during my grandmother’s death. Though I had wished I’d been able to talk to him then, rather than his needing to get drunk with his coworkers, that wasn’t the issue, & I told him that it wasn’t a big deal. He delved further into his dark hole of self-pity over his own problems, parents, debt, etc. Mad as I was at him, I ended up comforting him. Because I am the world’s great door mat.

But I don’t want to remember our “weekend” as that instance. It did improve, even on that particular night. Somehow we ended up in the bathroom, I on the floor watching him shave off his pubic hair with that comedic exaggerated care that comes with drunkenness. Once finished, we went back to his room & he began acting like a jackass. I stopped him, told him not to make me feel like a receptacle. “I’m sorry,” he said, “You know I don’t think of you like that, right?” After that, he was sweet & sensual & almost romantic.

The next night we went out to Granite City with Noah, then out to buy “Boardwalk Empire,” the “Rambo” collection, & Max bought me, of all things, a toothbrush to keep at his place. A step most commonly occurring in real relationships. We went to bed early that night. Next day was lunch at the Yankee Clipper, tacos & beer. Merrifield joined us at lunch, then hours later at the house, as did his girlfriend & Noah. A night of drinking & card games, ending with Max, Lydia & I on the couch watching “Rocky III,” my head on Max’s shoulder. We went back to his room when Lydia had passed out. We began having sex, & he kissed my neck as he took me from behind. I turned around & told him I wanted him to kiss me while he made love to me. He did, fiercely, & soon he came, hard & exhausted. “That’ll teach you to kiss me,” he joked, sprawled out at the foot of the bed. That made me smile to myself.

Read about a man, married for 47 years, brings his wife flowers every Monday. I want that. Max could be like that. I think I’d be the only person he’d do that for, as romantic gestures make him feel stupid. But he’d do it for me, I think. If we were together, that is. In his car we discussed our future apartment, how excited I am to live with him, how we’ll be in a whole new world with no one we know around to put their shit on us. He said he hoped he’d come home to find I’d rearranged the whole place, he gets so excited at that. His odd quirks. I loved it, planning our future, our escape. I can’t wait. I can’t wait.

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lavishedinjimin · 4 years

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all the good girls go to hell

— synopsis: The Angels made a deal with Jeon Jungkook, the son of Lucifer, to help them bring Y/n back to her good, prim and proper self. Even though Jungkook grants the atrocious plan, he leaves a lesson that no one should give their trust to a wicked devil like him.

↳ pairing: jungkook x f. reader

↳ genre: smut, very slight angst if you squint hard enough

↳ rating: m/18+

↳ word count: 10k

↳ warnings: religious themes, heaven and hell, angels, devils (this fic is not a correct representation of these figures and is purely fictional), alcohol intake, cursing, hard dom jk, daddy! jk, fingering, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, squirting, unprotected sex, breathplay, spanking, face fucking, filthy dirty talk, rough sex, jungkook and his demon cock ehe

a/n: title is inspired by billie eilish’s song all the good girls go to hell. her title inspired me to write this fic! please ignore if you find any errors <3

“You’re not good enough.”

“You look so pathetic, really.”

“Can you at least try to look hot?”

“This is why no one likes you.”

These words will forever haunt you until the day you die.

It wasn’t your fault that you were raised very strictly, your overly-protective parents treating you like some kind of rare treasure that no one, no man, can touch. The fact that your parents still had to drive you home from school even at an age like this always irritated you to the brim of your existence. So now you can’t even have the freedom, the life of a normal young girl can have.

Being raised strictly with a heavy-handed family – not to mention religious, too – has taken a toll on your mental health. There’s always the feeling of pressure wherever you go and whatever you do. The fear of not succeeding and disappointing your mom and dad is the worst feeling, like the Devil punching your gut repeatedly, as many times as he likes.

Plus, some students at your school know you for your lack of “personality”, the boring one, the killjoy. You can’t even refute because it was all true. You never experienced fun, parties, how to have interesting conversations, how to interact with a large crowd, all because of your parents being so uptight in you.

“Y/n!” The high-pitched voice of your mother calls from downstairs, and you were quick to scurry outside your room and find where she was sitting on the couch. “Yes, mom?” You say.

She was dressed in a royal-blue dress that goes up to her knees, her hair fixed perfectly and the hairspray is clearly doing a great job of keeping her updo in place. She grabs her purse while your dad walks into view, dressed up in a neat suit. “We’re leaving for our business trip, Y/n. Didn’t I tell you that?”

“Ah.” You sort of forgot about that.

Quickly nodding your head, you force a fake smile that you know all too well, “Yes.”

She gives you a weird glance before she fixes her makeup in a mirror, and your dad decides to continue for her. “We’ve hired a nanny to look after you, so that you won’t go out and about going behind our backs—”

“But dad! I really don’t need someone to babysit me,” You scoff. You weren’t a child anymore, what are they thinking! “I’m an adult. I can handle myself. Don’t you trust me?”

Trust. Something they don’t have with you, whether they admit it or not.

Your dad just sighs deeply and starts to walk closer to you. He places a hand on your shoulder as he looks straight into your eyes, giving you an authoritarian look. “Y/n, just do as you’re told and be a good daughter.”

“I’ve always been one,” you scorn.

“A good daughter doesn’t talk back.” Your mother retorts.

This is why you can never argue with them. They never let you speak your own opinion or have your own voice.

Your parents left exactly at 5 PM as they went on their flight to Madrid, leaving the house all to yourself only for tonight.

It was the next day, and you were sitting on the dining table, eating your cereal peacefully as you watched Netflix on your phone – until the doorbell rings.

You stand up and quickly make your way to the front door, pouting when you already know that it is the person that was supposed to look after you.

This is ridiculous.

“Hello!” A bright, short middle aged woman appears standing on the doorway, her bright energy startling you. “Y/n! I’m May, nice to meet you!” She lifts her hand in front for a handshake, and you chuckle nervously, accepting it. “I’m here to look after you for ten days, hm?”

“Uh, ah, yeah. C-Come in!” You tried to sound as positive and energized as you could to match her own energy, but you couldn’t. You step aside to let her in, pulling her luggage with her and she immediately takes up the design of the house. She was nodding her head, her arms crossed together while you accompanied her little journeys throughout the whole ground floor. You found her weird.

“Uh, come follow me, my dad says you’ll be staying here at the guest room —”

“Wonderful! I thought I was sleeping on the couch!” She claps her hands, excited that she has her own room.

You look at her with big, shocked eyes, yet you can’t say anything.

“O-Okay…” you mumbled, “Here,” you helped her open the door and she immediately set her things up. “May?”

“Yes, my dear?” She stops unpacking her bags to look up at you. “I’ll be at the kitchen, okay? If y-you wanna ask anything, I’m right over there.”

“Ah, that’s okay, Y/n. Your mother told me everything I need to know. Your bedtime is at eight and no midnight snacks!”

Your heart drops down to the floor as you immediately encountered a wave of emotions. Why did it matter?! Why did your mom had to apply all these stupid rules when she’s not even around? You thought at the start that you’ll have some kind of freedom when your parents aren’t here, thinking that your nanny might be easier, but perhaps not.

“Okay.” You say simply.

How else can you prove to people that you can be better? You're sick of everyone seeing you as the boring one, but your parents were the only thing that was keeping you from having fun. So you decide to be a little risky.

Step one: Sneak out the house.

Isn't that what people your age do? Usually they sneak out to party, to go hang out with their friends and have the time of their life. But you had none, no ‘best friend’, but a couple of lunch friends here and there.

“I should try clubbing.” You mumble to yourself as you sit down on the plush comfort of your mattress. Until you hear your phone chimes, signalling a text. You grab your phone from the bedside table and frown when you see who the text was from.

Mom: Remember to go to church later, Y/n.

You didn't reply, instead, it got you thinking.

Nothing will happen if you skip church, right? You've always attended Mass every Sunday with your parents, so there's absolutely nothing wrong with skipping at least once.

Besides, you need to plot your plans for tonight!

“What is this girl doing?” Armaros says in a deep whisper, his well-shaped eyebrows furrowing deeply while he watches Y/n on her phone, laying down on her bed as if church isn't just five minutes away from starting.

Armaros rushes to the other side of the room to get a better view of her human who lays on her stomach, a white wisp of smoke trailing behind him. He shakes his head, crossing his arms together in front of his chest. “Y/n, Y/n,” he tuts, “What are you doing?!”

He decides to step forward and reaches forward for his hand to caress the crown of your head. He chuckles when he sees your eyes expand in a quick second, your body abruptly sitting up straight from the tingling feeling in your neck. Your hairs stand up, a chill running down your spine.

This was Armaros’ way of mustering his presence onto you. Your dad always taught that whenever you suddenly feel a chilling sensation out of nowhere, it means that your guardian angel is there with you and trying to send you a message.

And you clearly know what he's trying to say.

There was a slight feeling of guilt – uneasiness, even. But no. You've already decided that you weren't going to follow your old routine.

Armaros’ jaw drops when you don't move from your position on the bed, only making yourself comfortable even further. ”Don’t you dare skip church...” he slowly whispers to himself. But he quickly shakes his head side to side, trying to be optimistic, “It's just one time. Just one time.”

Time passes by faster than you think, you sink your teeth down on your bottom lip, chewing on it as you try to Google clubs near you. It was ridiculous, feeling so overwhelmed from all of the options the Internet is showing you.

There was a generous list of bars and clubs with different ratings. It was a humane decision to choose the best one, right? So you went for a nightclub called ‘Soap Seoul’. Although, you feel your stomach churn when you scroll through the images attached to it; seeing all of the strange blue and red LED lights, big and tight crowds, and an HD picture of their bar. The bar was long and almost occupied the width of the whole club. You don't even know if you can stand such a place like that.

But no. You can't back out now! You had to show yourself and to others that you can have some fun too.

The club opens tonight at 8 pm, letting yourself have two hours to prepare. Rummaging through your garments of clothing, you try to find an appropriate outfit.

“I have nothing!” you whined, eyebrows furrowing in dismay. All you had were simple t-shirts and countless skinny jeans and leggings. Your dresses were almost knee-length and suitable for church – not for a nightclub!

Armaros stands at a distance, shaking his head at you.

Until, you heard a loud knock on the door, “Y/n!” May's voice shouts from the other side of the room, “Dinner's ready!”

Oh no.

Quickly opening the door, you stared at her with big, worried eyes. “May! I-uhh, I-I’m not gonna stay for dinner…” you mumbled, looking at the ground.

“Oh, why is that?” she asks, a faint sad tone in her voice. You felt so sad and regretful that you didn't say anything to her because she already cooked your dinner.

“I-I have plans for tonight,” you hold your hands behind your back, slightly getting embarrassed.

“Are you going out with your friends?”

“Y-Yeah!” You lie. You've never lied before.

“Ah, I understand. Have you told your mom?”

She doesn't have to know.

“Yup.”

And there it was again, the chills in your neck appeared while your arm and leg hairs stood up. Armaros touches your scalp, desperate to seek your attention and bring you back to your old, good self. The angel didn't like that you were lying, for he was perpetually accustomed to your good deeds. It was making him anxious for what's about to come.

But you ignored his message. May nods when you told her that she can have the food to herself.

You feel a pang of guilt rush through your body when you shut the door behind you, your heartbeat suddenly racing faster. The nervousness in you made your head hurt. Is this the right thing to do? No. It wasn't. But you had to show people that you can be different. Will it be worth it? Of course.

Thankfully, you spot a white dress that you've never worn before. It was a gift from your cousins that was supposed to be another addition to your collection of church dresses but it was too short for your liking.

“Hm, maybe this will work…” you quietly mumble to yourself.

You tried the piece of clothing on, carefully examining your reflection in the full-length mirror. The hem of the skirt falls right above your mid-thigh, too high for your usual comfort but for the sake of dressing up for a nightclub — there was no problem. The dress was snug, hugging your body so that it accentuates your curves.

The dress was plain white and was relatively simple. You don't really know what people usually wear for nightclubs but you were certain that dresses were a part of the code.

You looked for your black three-inch heel that you last wore during your highschool graduation, slipping it in carefully. Doing a little bit of makeup and applying a thin layer of lip gloss, you grabbed a purse and walked out of your room.

“May, please don't wait for me, okay?” you say after walking past her.

“W-Wait, I'm supposed to–”

“It's okay. I'll be okay.”

“She's not gonna be okay!” Armaros declares, kneeling on one knee before Archangel Michael – the protector and the spiritual warrior, as he mentions Y/n's recent mischiefs.

After you've been to the nightclub the first day, you've never stopped. You became addicted.

Sometimes you don't even tell May that you're going out, you just sneak out of the window and let May worry about you. You've happened to know how to drink as you get wasted every single night, hanging around with people that you don't know, people that are a bad influence on your good side. These past few days had you acting up like you’ve never before. You longed for alcohol and the feeling of it numbing your nerves, and there’s not a day where you didn’t get drunk.

Armaros’ power wasn't enough to stop you. Every single day he's been drying his best to send signals, to make you feel certain ways and speak to your consciousness that what you are doing is by far dangerous and wrong. But you never listened.

You've skipped church, stopped talking to God, ignoring your parents’ phone calls, not doing your homework just because you're busy either getting drunk or making out with someone at the club. It's like you have been addicted to misbehaving.

But for you, you thought you’re doing the right thing.

“Armaros, are you doubting your powers?” Archangel Michael replies, running his fingertips along the sharp blade of his sword.

“N-No, but, nothing seems to work. She's been ignoring my calls for almost two weeks. I just want the best for her.” Armaros’ voice fades at the end of his sentence. He was speaking with such sincerity because he really cares for Y/n. He truly loves her. “Why is she doing this?” He asks for help.

“Because, my dear, she's trying to prove something she's not for other people.”

“What?”

Archangel Michael laughs quietly, staring at him endearingly. He points his sword at him, “She obviously tries to be immoral to fit in. She's rarely praying to God like she used to, rarely respecting the people around her. Ever since humans bullied Y/n for being herself – she starts to change. But the question is…”

He walks around Armaros, his eyes never leaving his. “Is this making her happy?”

Armaros lowers his head and shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

The Archangel grins and returns his sword back on the scabbard attached to his belt.

“If I can't warn her to stop, then who else can?” The angel asks.

Michael lifts an eyebrow up, crossing his arms together as he stands right in front of him. His mouth draws into a slow smirk, a hint of playfulness in his eyes as if a lightbulb appeared on top of his head.

“You wanna have some fun, Armaros?”

“What do you mean?”

“Stand up, stand up.” Armaros quickly obeys his superior’s command. The Archangel places a hand on his right shoulder, preparing to speak.

“I have an idea. We call Jeon Jungkook up and–”

“No! Absolutely not! I will not allow Y/n to come face to face with the son of Lucifer!” Armaros bellows, instinctively pushes Michael's hand away from him.

“Armaros! It's just an idea!” Michael chuckles, spreading his arms to the side as he shakes his head. “And besides, I have to ask permission from our Highness anyway.”

“And what will he do? Taunt her? Provoke Y/n to be more sinful?” Y/n's guardian angel asks, referring to Jungkook. “We both know how manipulative and cunning he can be!”

“No, no. We'll make a deal with him, of course! No devil will do anything without receiving something in return.”

“This idea of yours, not to be rude, but is really out of this world.”

Archangel Michael snorts from the out of the blue pun.

“Do not be afraid. If our Lord agrees to our plan, I'll be watching. I always will. Give me your trust, Armaros.”

Armaros sighs deeply, yet smiles up at him right after. “Okay, I trust you.”

“May, stop it,” you mutter angrily, pulling your arm away from her hold. May tries to block your way from going outside the house but you abruptly push her to the side.

“Y/n! Your mom told you that–”

“Told me what?! That I’m being independent? Unruly? That I should just stay home? I don’t give a fuck anymore, May. I’d rather hang out with friends than stay here and do nothing!” You bark at her. She was smaller than you and you were definitely giving off that intimidating vibes that you wanted to show. She isn’t the one wearing the pants in this house. You are.

“Y/n, I will not tolerate this behavior!” May snaps, eyes glaring at you with her hands balled up into fists on her sides.

Rolling your eyes, you let out a sour chuckle, “You sound like my mom.”

May sighs deeply, the tiredness in her voice evident, “I’m just trying to keep you safe, Y/n. Just listen to me.”

“I’m an adult. I can keep myself safe. Now, let me go and don’t wait for me.”

“Y/n!”

“Bye May! Have a nice sleep!”

“Y/n! Where the fuck are you?!” Emilia, one of the new friends you've met no longer than three days ago shouts through the phone as loud, blazing music muffled her voice. “Sophia and I are waiting for you! Get your ass over here!”

“I'm almost there, save me a drink already!” you giggle, looking out from the taxi’s window.

Sophia snatches the phone out of Emilia’s hand to speak to you, “Y/n, you still remember the bet we made, right?”

“Of course! It's not a huge deal, c'mon now.” You roll your eyes, faking a laugh.

“We'll see!” Emilia giggles.

The driver drops you in front of the nightclub and you throw him a couple of dollars. Stepping out of the car, your high heels clicking on the cement. Upon entering the place, you were immediately greeted with your friends. They were both wearing a tight dress – glittery red and silver – whilst you wore a black one that reached down to your middle thigh. You bought the dress only a day ago, special thanks to your Amazon Prime account .

“Hey! Here, drink this,” Sophia hands you a single malt whiskey and you swiftly drown it down your throat without any problem. You reminisce back to your first day where you can’t even take a sip of beer without gagging. Now look where you are.

“Ahh fuck, that tastes good,” you mumble through gritted teeth.

“Why are you late tonight, Y/n?” Emilia asks as she leads you to the bar to order more alcohol. Her high pitched voice mixing with the loud music,”You know it's always 9 PM. Sharp.”

You breathe out heavily as you watch Sophia pour three shots of straight vodka into a shot glass. She distributes the beverage to the two of you.

“Well, uh–”

“What?” Emilia snaps.

“I couldn't find a goddamn cab, that's why!” you hide your falseness with laughter, hoping they won't sense your lie.

“Alright anyway, let’s go get wasted and you, Y/n – will be our first player.” Emilia smirks as she crosses her arms together. She analyzes your body, eyeing you up and down. You didn’t like it, and you felt worried.

Your eyebrows furrow, confused and slightly offended, “What, why me?” You take a sip of your newly-ordered beer, trying to get comfortable on the plush-covered stool.

“Because,” Sophia answers for her, “we need to know your… capacities.”

You snort, “Capacities of what? My capacity of having to get into a m-man’s bed? Pffft… easy!”

Sophia’s forehead furrows, glancing at Emilia with a knowing look before focusing her attention back to you. “Sure. Anyway, let’s have fun first and then…” she leans closer to you, her face inches away from yours. You feel your face redden in embarrassment, “And then you can choose your man.”

It wasn’t that bad. It isn’t bad dancing around the dance floor, beer in hand, as you danced all your worries away. Emilia and Sophia were out there – somewhere, but you didn’t care about them at this moment. You let your body go with the beat of the loud EDM music, holding your hands up in the air as you whipped your head left to right. You had a huge smile on your face, the alcohol kicking in like it was meant for your body to consume.

Sweaty bodies were bumping each other from left and right, and you for sure stepped on someone’s toe with your pumps. Nevertheless, you didn’t care. You were having your fun.

It was until the song changed from upbeat to a more sensual, heart-pumping song from the loud bass. As if there was a switch inside you, you turned into a sultry mess.

Wasted. You were wasted like hell.

Your eyes turn into little slits as you look around the dance floor to try and find someone to play with. Taking a huge sip of your drink, your throat burns yet you tried to ignore it.

“Ah-hah!” you giggle, walking – or should we say, stumbling – towards a guy with black hair parted in the middle, nicely dressed in a black button up tucked in some skinny jeans. The man locks eyes with you, licking his plump lips as his eyes rake your body.

“Hey there, gorgeous,” he smirks, making you blush in red as he holds your waist and tugs you closer to him. The song in the background was helping you a lot to get into that seductive, sexy mood that you planned to have.

“Hey,” you smile up at him, “I’m Y/n.”

“What a pretty name for a pretty lady.” He starts swaying your body to the beat, going along with you. “I’m Seokjin. Nice to meet you.”

Seokjin tugs your body closer until he holds the back of your head with one hand, making you look deep into his dark eyes. “Y-You’re a new face,” you slur, “You don’t belong here.”

Unexpectedly, your eyes grow big when Seokjin throws his head back as he laughs almost hysterically. “What?” you question.

The man slightly leans down until his face draws near to yours, and you can immediately smell the alcohol in his breath. You didn’t judge though, you probably had beer-breath too.

“Baby girl…” Seokjin suddenly speaks deeply, making your heart jump from the sudden change in his voice. There was a sultry look in his eyes that made it hard for you to keep eye contact. “Baby it’s you who doesn’t seem to belong. You don’t know who I am.”

“Well y-you don’t know me e-either!” You try to retaliate, although it was messed up with your embarrassing stuttering.

“You really wanna know?” he whispers, his lips right against your lips, almost touching yours. You couldn’t breathe properly, wanting to pull away but his intoxicating scent was forcing you to him.

You nod your head, not trusting your voice.

“I own this place, baby.”

You almost tossed your cup right across the room from his sudden confession, totally not expecting such a young-looking man to own such a place like this. Your eyes expand, body staying still.

’Wait! Be sexy… be sexy…’ you thought to yourself after an awkward five seconds of silence.

You decide to chuckle, biting your bottom lip slowly as you draw yourself nearer to him. He lifts a brow up in surprise, wrapping his arms around your hips and he closes the distance between the two of you.

“Really? Well then,” you mutter, “I want you to own me too.”

“Oh, finally. Someone straightforward.”

“Well I – oh!” Seokjin takes you by surprise when he quickly tugs your arm and leads you to the second floor of the club. You haven’t been in this area before, looking so luxurious and well decorated. Although what shocks you is the series of doors that passes through a long, wide hallway.

“Seok...Seokjin,” you whisper, but he looks at you with a smirk, a playful glint in his eyes.

“C’mon baby,” he opens a door and walks you inside, locking it behind him. “Let’s have a little fun.”

Let’s have a little fun.

Yeah. I should.

This is fun, right?

Before you can even process things, Seokjin shoves your body to a wall as his hands start to wander down your sides. With flushed cheeks, you look at him like you’ve just seen a ghost but he clearly doesn’t mind, grinding his hips into yours.

“Mmm, what a cute babe I have in front of me,” he groans, leaning forward to pepper wet, gentle kisses all over your neck and down to your shoulders.

Something feels off.

“Y/n, right?” he asks, his forehead furrows and you nod. “Can I kiss you?”

Your heart starts to rapidly pump inside your chest, feeling as if it’ll burst at any minute. An uncomfortable feeling starts to overwhelm your system, sensing your palms getting sweaty. You can’t look at his eyes, looking anywhere but him.

“Uh, o-okay,” you straighten your back as you try your best to look confident.

This is the perfect opportunity to tell your friends. Having sex with someone like him will absolutely impress Emilia and Sophia.

Seokjin chuckles, shrugging, “Alright then.” And without any warning, he throws you on the bed and he quickly hovers above your body.

“Mmph–!” he immediately presses his lips into yours before you can even react to everything that had just happened. He caresses your cheeks with both hands, his lips moving softly with yours. You try your best to keep up with him and his pace, but you can’t. There was something stopping you from giving him your all. Seokjin grunts nevertheless, humping you.

Seokjin’s right hand snakes down to grab the hem of your dress as he teasingly pulls the fabric up, then lets it snap back down. There was a weird feeling inside your stomach, and it did not feel good at all.

His hand slowly starts creeping up your leg, and that’s where you couldn’t hold it back.

“Mmm, n-no,” you mewl, pushing him away from you. Seokjin stares down at you with a frown, head tilted to the side.

“Y/n?”

Rapid heart rate, the back of your neck sweating, and chills all over your body occur all at the same time. You were panicking.

“I-I…” immediately you stand up from the bed, hiking your stupid short dress down as much as you can. “S-Sorry,” furiously shaking your head from side to side, you stumble your way to the door.

“Y/n, wait!” Seokjin yells, confused yet he felt sorry at the same time. “Let’s talk about it!”

“No,” you whisper. You can’t do this anymore. There was no energy left in your body to talk, to process what just happened, to stand in this fucking club. Home. All you were thinking about was going home.

You twist the doorknob open, trying to catch your breath as much as you can but you feel like you were going to pass out any minute. Making your way down the stairs, you run as fast as you can towards the exit of the nightclub yet a person catches your arm.

“Y/n!” Your eyes widen when Emilia and Sophia stop you, observing your state. “What’s wrong with you?”

“No…” you breathe tirelessly, “c-can’t do it…”

“You failed?” Emilia snaps as she leans her body on one hip, resting her hands there. She looks at you with disgust, “But we saw the guy that you’re with! He was hot!”

Sophia snorts, smirking as she stares at you sourly, “Proves our point. You’re nothing, Y/n. You had such an easy job, the guy’s already all over you and you just had to throw him? Where is he, let me get with him myself.” Sophia struts away, heels clicking as she flips her long hair over her shoulder, leaving you with Emilia.

“What can I say, Y/n,” she smiles menacingly, the corners of her eyes crinkling, “You can never be like us.”

Your whole body felt heavy, heavy like you were carrying a boulder behind your back. This isn’t what you had planned at all, everything was going so well until this! Your eyes started welling up with tears, blurring your sight. You had to go.

Without saying a word, you quickly run away to the exit, ignoring Emilia’s insensitive laugh.

What went wrong? Why did you feel that way? Negative thoughts were clouding your mind as you cried and cried to your poor, soaked pillow.

Maybe you are just not enough. Perhaps you’re not meant to be like this.

It was fun the first time around, and you were actually enjoying yourself. But the days passed and you sadly weren't doing this for your own pleasure anymore, but for the validation of other people.

You should’ve stopped Seokjin from touching you when it clearly made you uncomfortable. There was a line and he crossed it, but you erased that line so you can finally say that you’ve slept with someone. But you guessed it wasn’t that easy.

Grabbing your phone, you ignored all of the rude messages Emilia has sent you, blocking her and Sophia’s number. You turned off your phone, throwing it somewhere on the ground without care before you switched off your lamp. There was never a time that you’ve cried yourself to sleep, but tonight was your first.

“And what do I get in return for this deal?” Jeon Jungkook purrs with a low, dark tone, crossing his legs together as he sits on his father’s fire-blazing throne. Even though he has his own throne for himself, thrones on fire were way cooler. He scans the frightened angel from head to toe through the strands that fell in front of his eyes.

“The A-Archangel says you will obtain a soul. A soul that is longing for hell.” Armaros stutters as he tries to keep eye contact with the devil’s hard glare.

Jungkook chuckles, hanging his head low. “You mean to tell me…” he starts to stand up and walks towards the angel. Armaros tries his best to keep his guard up and stand as tall as possible.

Jungkook circles around him, arms crossed while his right hand plays with his bottom lip, “That I should convince this little girl to prevent doing bad, bad things to stop her from going to hell?” He laughs hysterically. “That’s quite… an unnatural job for a devil, isn’t it? It’s completely the opposite of what i’m supposed to do. Tell Michael that his plan is utter bullshit.”

Armaros takes a deep sigh, closing his eyes for a brief second before replying. “Firstly, Y/n is not a little girl. And second, this job is easy. You have the skill to persuade humans to sin – what’s hard with doing the opposite? Besides, you’ll obtain a soul either way.”

His words made Jungkook ponder and deliberate with himself. He stops in front of Armaros and shows him his signature imposing smile. “I can have my way with the girl, right?” He bites his lip, “Anyway I want?”

This made Armaros’ eyes go wide, mouth opening but no words seem to come out properly, “I-I… w-well, um… yes? Yes? P-Perhaps? Just don’t do anything bad to her.”

Jungkook scoffs, running his long tongue over his teeth as he smirks, “Define bad, Mr. Angel.”

“You know… hurt her.” He gulps.

The devil squints his eyes, absolutely loving Armaros’ reactions. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not gonna kill her, if that’s what you mean.”

“I’m done with this conversation.” Armaros quickly chirps as he unfolds his large, white wings. “Remember what your main goal is, Jungkook. I’m counting on you.”

Jungkook stops him before he flies back up. “Armaros…” he says, dragging his name long in his tongue. Armaros looks at him, eyes impatient, arms crossed together.

“You know I’m a devil, right?”

The angel chuckles, scoffing, “Oh, I know that alright.” He scorns, eyeing Jungkook up and down. Although the devil in front of him looks intimidating and his eyes are jet black, Armaros keeps his calm. “I’m only following orders. I didn’t agree with The Archangel in the first place.”

“Do you know what devils do to… humans?”

Armaros nods fully.

“And what I might do to… that precious little girl?” Jungkook growls deeply, walking closer to him. He tilts his head down, looking at him through his lashes, “There’s a huge chance that I might not control myself when I see her.”

“What do you mean?”

Suddenly, black smoke appears from Jungkook’s right hand, summoning something beside him. The smoke appears to subside and at once, Y/n’s appearance can be seen through the thin air. Jungkook rests his hips on one side, twirling his hand so that her image spins around.

“This is Y/n, right?” Jungkook studies your face, watching you read a book inside your room. “I’ve never seen someone so beautiful before.”

“Jeon Jungkook!” Armaros bellows, his tone loud yet sprinkled with fear.

“I’m just saying, Angel. You can’t stop me from trying to do devilish things to her.” Jungkook smirks, prodding his tongue on the inside of his cheek. “You might have to reconsider this deal of yours if you don’t want me to have my way with that pretty little girl,” He taunts, already warning Armaros.

“Jungkook,” Armaros’ nerves seem to heat up, slowly getting irritated although he tries to calm himself. He looks down, shaking his head as he pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “There’s no point in doing that. You think she wants to have an affair with someone like you?”

The devil laughs loudly as he twirls his hand until your image disappears. This conversation further proves Jungkook’s argument that angels are actually dumber than they realize.

“If you want me to help you, I will have my way with her. My job, my rules. Understand?”

Armaros feels defeated, but he can’t say anything but nod and agree to him. He can’t fight him anyway. Jungkook dismisses him, and with that, the angel ascends back up to earth.

Jungkook can’t wait to have his fun.

Prancing around, making friends, getting to know each other – Jungkook doesn’t want to do that. Instead, he’s very straightforward, saying words that he probably shouldn’t, he likes to say what he thinks no matter how bad it’ll probably hurt.

That’s what he plans to do with you.

If he gets his point clear, make you frightened, scare the shit out of you, then the job would be complete.

Easy!

You were currently on your laptop, scrolling through your pinterest tabs until you hear loud and frantic knocks on your door. “Y/n!” May shrieks, her voice quivering. “Someone’s at the door!”

Oh no, you thought.

Immediately hopping out of bed, you went out to see who it was with May following behind you. You peak out through the windows and suddenly, you inhale sharply from the man that you see.

He was unfamiliar. Thankfully, it wasn’t Seokjin or Sophia nor Emilia, but rather tall, might you say handsome looking man waiting outside your doorstep. He was dressed in all black, his hair covering his eyes.

“Do you know him?” May asks quietly. You shake your head slowly, “N-No.”

“Y/n… I think you should just leave him.”

“May, I can handle it. You can go now.” You say softly to her.

“Are you sure—”

“Yes.” You spat a little harshly, blazing your eyes at her. May nods, sighing as she walks away to her room.

Gathering the courage to open the door, you took a deep inhale and exhale, calming your nerves.

Once you open the door, your eyes immediately fly to his dark ones. Your whole body suddenly shivers, the air around the place somewhat getting cold as if it was winter.

You can't take your eyes off of the man. You have never met him before but it felt like you've known him for too long. There was a strange aura surrounding the two of you that you can't explain.

“Hello.” He speaks first, giving you a sly smile.

His voice. You've never heard such a dark and menacing timbre before.

“Hi,” you gulp, “Who are you?”

“May I come in?” Jungkook snaps, ignoring your question. He doesn't want to waste any time, that's for sure.

You furrow your brows as you shake your head, “Answer my question first.” You blurt, blocking the entrance by placing your hands on either side of the doorway.

“Hm,” Jungkook slowly shows you a deadly smirk, eyeing your body up and down. “You really wanna know?”

What kind of a question is that?

You quickly got annoyed, looking at him with a scorn. “Obviously!”

Feisty, Jungkook thought.

“I'm the devil.”

There was a long pause, silence filling the air. This man is too handsome to be this dumb. You laugh hysterically, bending over as you hold your aching stomach. “A-Are you… oh my god… please tell me you're fucking joking!” you say with creased eyes.

Jungkook already expected this reaction, and he only rolls his eyes without you noticing.

“Mhm. You don't believe me?” he slowly pronounces his words, voice deep and sinister.

“Nah,” you shake your head, giggling.

“Aren't you religious?” Jungkook pushes you to the side without hesitation and enters, your eyes expanding slowly as his body suddenly comes in contact with yours. “Don't you believe in your God? You believe in angels, right?” He backs your body up and shuts the door loudly behind him.

You felt a series of chills erupt from your system, his gaze locked on yours. You wanted to look away from his intimidating gaze, but you can't, for some strange reason. “Huh, Y/n?”

You gasp. “Wait, h-how do you know my name!?”

Jungkook smirks at you, tilting his head to the side as he ignores your question again.

Your body seems to move by itself, like you can't control your own limbs. The air thickens around the two of you as you feel your body submit to the man in front of you.

Sighing, with a shaky voice you answer. “I do. I do believe in them.”

Although what shocks you is the way his eyes suddenly turn a bright shade of red. From deep black to red, his irises glow.

“What the fuck–” you quickly back away, body shivering in fear until your back hits a wall. You rub your eyes, trying to see if your mind was only playing tricks with you.

Jungkook grins and chuckles darkly, clicking his tongue. “Then…” he draws, walking closer to your frightened figure, “Can this convince you enough?”

“S-Stop… stop playing games with me!” you whimper, feeling your palms get sweaty. “Your eyes are red!”

“Hmm, I wonder why,” Jungkook snarls, forehead creasing, “Maybe because I'm the fucking devil?”

And in a flash, Jungkook’s appearance changes from a tall, handsome boy into a dark red figure. Black, bat-like wings sprout from his back, long horns appearing from his forehead, a spear-like tail behind him. His lips and the area around his eyes were tinted in black while his fingers grew longer, sharper.

You almost fainted then and there.

“Oh— p-please,” your eyes turn watery as tears start to fall down your cheek, lifting your hands up to your mouth in shock, “please d-don't kill me!” Shutting your eyes to avoid the frightening image in front of you, your knees drop down to the floor with a loud thud. “I'm sorry, please f-forgive me! Don't k-kill me! Please!”

“Oh, what a cute pretty girl you are,” the devil grins, his voice more gravelly now. He looks down at your frail self, amused. “I'm not here to kill you. I'm here to teach you a lesson.”

You start to sob as your body shakes, “No! Please d-don't…”

“Do you believe me now?”

“Yes! Yes I do!” you quickly reply, voice cracking. “I’m sorry s-sir, don’t hurt me!”

Jungkook, satisfied with your reaction, morphs back to his normal human look within a few seconds. “Look at me.”

Slowly, afraid to anger the devil in front of you, you obey his words. You sigh in relief when he finally looks normal again, but you can't look at him the same way.

“Stand up.”

You do so with wobbly legs. You felt so weak with your energy quickly drained so quickly. Wiping your tear-stained cheeks, you try your best to keep your composure.

“Anyway, I'm Jungkook,” he gives you an award-winning smile, “I'm sent here to supposedly warn you from doing bad things.” He cringes, shaking his head. “Which, honestly speaking, I think is atrocious.”

He scans your body, biting his lip right after. “A good looking girl like you should have her fun.”

You try to regain your senses back. A devil — a real devil appeared right in front of you. You can't seem to shake the thought away while he’s there looking so handsome in his human form.

With a shaky breath, you ask him, “J-Jungkook? I'm really sorry. I don't know what I'm doing.”

He snorts. Brushing his black hair away from his face. “Wrong. You know what you're doing.”

“W-What?”

Something in the air changes when Jungkook snaps his fingers. A thick, black smoke appears, capsuling the both of you in. “What is this?!” you question, terror overtaking your face. You watch your surroundings getting blurry, blackness covering the area.

“Oh nothing,” he gives you a lopsided grin, “just making sure that your little angels can't see us.”

Jungkook's eyes shine and his pupils enlarge, smiling as you notice how his teeth grow sharper. There were veins popping out in his neck, grimacing at you in pure excitement.

“We can't afford your poor, guardian angel to stop us now, can't we? I don't want him to see us…playing.”

“Playing?!” You gasp, eyes expanding in shock..

“Yes, baby. Angels are so fucking dumb, aren't they? Asking a devil to do their own work? Isn't that pathetic.”

You were locked to him like a magnet as your body seems to fill with utter desire in such a quick time.

Was he doing something to you?!

A series of pleasurable chills erupt from your body, mouth getting dry as you look up at Jungkook with big eyes.

His hand suddenly touches your bare arm, making you silently mewl from his chilling touch. He smirks at your reaction, “How dumb of them to trust the son of Lucifer himself.”

“Y-You… you're…” your voice fades, trying to process his words.

“Mhm. Aren't you excited to play with me?”

Maybe he's doing tricks to your mind, controlling your body – or maybe you’re just fucked up. Either way, you want him.

You lust for him.

“Yes.”

Jungkook draws his lower lip between his teeth, his hands finding its way to your waist, holding you firmly until he unexpectedly pulls you to his body. He lifts a single eyebrow up, “Really?”

Your heartbeat quickens.

“I've… I’ve never been more sure.” Words seem to spill out of your mouth without your consent, as if it wasn’t you who’s speaking. But you don’t try to take your words back.

Jungkook laughs and starts to lift you up without struggle, finding his way to your bedroom while the smoke follows the two of you. “Bad, bad girl you are.” He lowers you down on the mattress, sending you a seductive wink, “I'm so fucking proud.”

He preps himself on his knees, capturing your thighs in between. His eyes run down your body, chills running down your spine from how hot he looks. His figure was so big and muscular, making you feel like he can destroy your frail self.

“Look at this, you look so fucking delicious baby.”

His hand suddenly flies down to your armpits, roughly handling you as he carries you up as he sits down on the bed, his back pressed against the headboard, as he places you in between his legs.

You hold back a whimper as he pushes your body closer to him. Hearing him growl deeply made your cunt throb, feeling a strange wet feeling down there.

“Demons can't help humans,” he mutters lowly, his lips right against the shell of your ear. “They want you to sin and sin and sin until the day you fucking die.”

His hands play with your shirt until in a quick flash, he rips the cotton material in half, your body shivering as it has been exposed to the cold air. “Ohh,” you whimper, covering your body with your arms.

“Nu-uh,” Jungkook grins behind you, “Don't do that, baby.” He leans down and starts pressing wet and sloppy kisses all over your shoulders, running his mouth up to your neck. “Don't try to hide away from me.”

He sucks on the soft skin of your neck, his big dick throbbing in his pants from the way you were constantly squirming. You were so sensitive, and it made him so horny. He hums, marking your skin in bright red and purple bruises.

“Ahh, Jungkook,” you moan, throwing your head back until it rests right against his shoulder.

His hands suddenly fly to your breasts, his long and slender fingers pinching and twisting your hardened nipples. You bite your bottom lip as you can't seem to open your eyes from the feeling. It was until Jungkook suddenly digs his nails into your nipples, pinching them roughly that made you jolt right up.

“Oh, t-that hurts,” you cry, the stinging feeling of his sharp nails pinching your buds. Jungkook watches your face contort, digging his nails even harder. He feels your body twitch, hearing your gentle whines and mewls.

“Ohhh you don't like it baby, does it hurt too much for your sensitive, precious body?” he mocks a concerned tone. “Hm?”

He was playing games with you, that's for sure. You nod your head up and down, trying to push his hands away. “Mhm…”

Thankfully, he does stop but he quickly cups your breasts with both hands. He feels your rock-hard nipples pushing against his rough palms, kneading your boobs until he finally lets go.

“Take these off,” he instructs you to pull your shorts down, and you do so. With trembling hands, you swiftly tug them off of your legs.

“Mmm, fuck,” he grunts behind you, his right hand lowering down from your stomach until it reaches the destination right against your clothed pussy. His fingers slowly trace down your slick, feeling how wet you are through your panties.

He smirks cockily, “You're fucking drenched, baby. Are you this horny?” he rubs your clit in slow, circular motions with just the right amount of pressure with the tips of his two fingers, your legs shivering. “Want something to stuff that little hole of yours?”

He pulls your underwear down to your thighs, and you instantly shake it off with your legs. Jungkook pushes your legs apart, forcing your knees up with your feet flat on the mattress. Your cunt flutters around air from the exposure. You whine when his left arm possessively wraps around your stomach, his biceps flexing when he holds you tightly.

“Stay fucking still,” he growls, his warm hand cupping your bare cunt. He chuckles, prodding his tongue against his cheek as he plays with your folds. He uses two slender fingers to spread your labia apart and you can feel your glistening arousal drip from your hole down to your ass.

Jungkook hums in satisfaction, spreading your lips wider, making you emit a moan. “Jungkook—”

“No. I want you to call me something…” he elongates the pause in his sentence to suddenly insert the tip of his middle finger in your pussy, causing you to jump. “Something else, baby.”

“Ah-ahh, what?” your legs couldn't stop trembling as he pushes his finger deeper, your walls sucking it in deliciously.

You can feel him smirk against the skin of your neck, he snickers, “Starts with the letter D.”

Your eyes squint in confusion, tilting your head up to look at him. Jungkook, with his glowing red eyes, scans your face with a quirked eyebrow expectantly.

“Devil?”

Jungkook scoffs loudly and instantly pushes the rest of his finger in your cunt, immediately pumping in and out at a rapid pace. Your hands quickly hold onto his arm that was wrapped around you, mouth agape from the sudden thrusts. “Ohhh!” your body shakes, leaning your head against him. Electric waves of pleasure run through your body, being new to the sensation.

He growls as he removes his finger out to slap your pussy harshly, hitting your sensitive clit. “Wrong.”

“Oww…” you mewl, your hips bucking up from the sting. He does this again, and again, and again, making your eyes watery. He tightens his hold on you, stopping you from squirming too much.

“Daddy.” He purrs.

Your body instantly feel a series of shivers.

“Call me daddy.” Jungkook bites your neck roughly while he inserts his digits back, this time using his middle and ring finger. You hiss in pleasure, eyes tempting to roll back when he brushes the sponge-like texture inside your pussy.

“Shit, right there daddy,” you curse, rolling your hips against his hand for more. “Right there!”

Jungkook feels his cock harden even more, precum dripping down his tip as it twitches against his clothes. The way you pronounce that certain word drove him crazy. Jungkook loves how your body easily crumbles beneath him as you allow him to have all the control. He pounds your pussy faster with his hand, putting his bicep to good use.

You were about to cum, the feeling of a tightness inside your tummy, a ball about to burst at any second. You warn Jungkook, “Daddy, i-i think… I think I'm gonna c-cum,” you sob.

“I know.” He says simply, fucking you harder. Suddenly, he pushes his index finger in, three digits stretching your walls out. You cry loudly, thrashing around him as high-pitched moans carelessly leave your mouth. “Shiiiiit, d-daddy!”

“Need to stretch this little pussy out for my cock” he purrs, “cuz’ we don’t want that tiny hole of yours to split into two, right baby?”

Your toes curl, nails digging into the skin of his arm as you fail to warn him that you're gonna cum any second now. Although he can feel the way your pussy was pulsing around his long fingers. He angled his hand until your clit was brushing against his palm, “Daddy! Ohh fuck, just l-like that!”

Until it all stops.

All of the pleasure stops when Jungkook pulls his fingers out.

“Fuuuuuuuck!” you yell, never been more frustrated before as he denies your orgasm. You were about to cum so hard. Your legs shake uncontrollably, scratching his arms as your body shudders. Your poor cunt pulsates rapidly from the sour loss. You were a whimpering, sobbing mess.

Laughing dryly behind you was Jungkook, licking his fingers clean as he watches your dignity wash away right in front of his eyes.

“Fuck you,” you scowl, pushing away his arms and turning to face him. “Fuck. You.”

But he wasn't bothered at all, of course. He was the devil after all. He had no remorse.

Before you know it, Jungkook wraps his hand around your throat and swiftly pulls you close to his face. You gulp, terrified from the intimidating look in his eyes.

Jungkook thinks that he can easily kill you then and there. If it were a different person, he wouldn't hesitate to snap their neck like a stick. Usually he would feel tempted to physically hurt a person in this kind of situation. But no. He likes you. He likes you too much to kill.

“Take my cock out.”

Even though you hate him for denying your orgasm so brutally like that, you nod your head. Jungkook removes his shirt as you scoot down. You were careful to unbutton his pants, heart rate going faster from the thought of seeing his cock right in front of your face. By the look of the large tent evident, he was gonna be huge. Jungkook watches you with heavy eyes, running his hand through your hair softly.

You pull the garment down and your mouth visibly waters from the sight. The outline of his cock was evident from his briefs, long and thick and was certainly rock hard. You were so afraid to even touch it as you let your hands sit right on his thighs.

“Haven't done this before?” he asks, rubbing your cheek with one hand. You shake your head, afraid to look at his glaring eyes.

Jungkook chortles, quickly pulling his underwear down by himself.

His cock immediately springs out and rests on his abdomen. With wide, surprised eyes, you notice his red tip leaking so much precum, dripping down his abs. You involuntarily whine and wiggle your hips in need, your wetness dripping down your thigh.

“Take it in your mouth.” He orders, voice strict and demanding.

“But—”

“Did I stutter?”

“No daddy.” You whisper, looking away and finally gathering the courage to wrap your hands around his girth. You clench your thighs together when you feel him against your palm – warm and heavy, yet the skin was soft at the same time. When you stroke his shaft up and down watching how his precum pours down to your hands, providing you lubrication as it coats his cock.

Jungkook throws his head back as he smiles down at you, feeling so good. He bucks his hips up repeatedly, meeting your timid strokes.

His patience runs out and slaps your hand away, gripping his cock tightly. Suddenly, he slaps his dick on your cheek, making lewd and wet sounds. “Open your fuckin’ mouth.”

Obeying his command, you wrap your lips around his leaking tip. You taste the saltiness of his seed on your tongue, trying your best to take more of him. His thick girth was making it hard for you as your jaw immediately feels sore.

His hand flies to grip your hair, making you whine around his cock, causing vibrations. “Look at that pretty little mouth tryna’ take this cock,” he smirks, “Go deeper baby. Gag around my cock if you don't wanna be punished.”

Your hips swivel in need from his words, pussy soaking like a river. You slack your jaw as you sink down on his cock, trying to ignore the harsh gags when his tip hits the back of your throat. Jungkook growls loudly above you, seeing that the corners of your mouth were dripping in saliva.

He uses both of his hands to force you deeper. Your eyes start to water when you swallow just half of his big dick, already being too much for you. The harsh and wet gagging sounds were music to Jungkook's ear, loving to see you struggle. “Mhm, fuck yes,” he grunts, “Choke on that big dick.”

He keeps you down there, feeling sinister as his devilish instincts get the best of him. He ignores your cries and pleads, only focusing on the feeling of the sweet vibrations whenever you moaned around him. Or whenever your throat closes around his shaft when you choked, it was all too good for him.

You immediately tapped on his thighs furiously when you can't take it anymore, but what did he do? He starts fucking your mouth with sharp thrusts of his hips. You whimper, closing your eyes tight as your nails dig into the skin of his thighs. He grabs you by your head as he uses your poor mouth for pleasure.

Trying to breathe through your nose, you ignore the burning sensation in your mouth yet it feels too good. “Ahhhh holy fucking shit,” he grunts, feeling your throat tighten, “Look at that – fuck. Bad little girl aren't you? Mhm? You're my bad, naughty girl.” Jungkook mocks, watching the stream of tears drip down your cheeks.

Finally, he pulled out and there were thick strings of saliva connecting your lips to his cock. He groans loudly, his cock twitching as it lays back on his stomach.

“Ohh, c'mere baby girl, come here.” Jungkook whispers and pulls your body close to him. You straddle his lap, feeling his cock beneath your folds that made you hiss. He wraps his strong arms around you, his face inches close to yours. You try not to be intimidated by his menacing eyes, but he notices this and clutches your throat with one hand, squeezing it again that made you inhale sharply. Jungkook sees your pout, your lips bruised from your numerous bites, and he chuckles.

He tugs you until his lips are right upon your ear. “You wanna cum, baby?”

Your body shivers from how deep and alluring his voice was, although you nod your head. “Please, daddy.”

“Oh but do you deserve it? Do you even deserve a cock like mine?”

You hate how frustrated he can make you. You punch your hands down on his chest, whining, “I-I do…”

Jungkook quirks a brow up, immediately forcing your hands behind your back. He roughly grasps your wrists together with one hand, surely leaving a red bruise. He bites his lip, “You do?” He swiftly lands a spank on your right ass cheek, making you moan. “Then sink down on my cock.”

With a puff of your breath, Jungkook helps you align his dick to your sopping entrance. You couldn’t breathe properly, anticipating what will happen as soon as you slowly sink yourself on his thick tip.

“Ohhh daddy!” Your walls stretch out as you take his tip in, making you feel a harsh, stinging sensation as he rips your walls. If it wasn’t with his impressive girth, it probably wouldn’t hurt as much. Jungkook grunts, his cock throbbing from the feeling of your cunt fluttering around him.

“Fuck yeah,” he watches your pussy take him further, your juices coating his shaft. He tightens his hold on your wrists, slightly bucking his hips up. Jungkook lands another hard, loud spank.

“Daddy you're so b-big,” you moan, almost halfway down his dick but you can't take more of him anymore. Jungkook gets turned on from the sweet tone of your voice, the thought of tainting such a girl like you made him chuckle.

Jungkook feeds himself from the idea of corrupting you, letting you know how it feels to truly rebel. Who the fuck cares about what your parents think? Humans are all going to die anyway, there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun.

You start to bounce up and down slowly, your pussy rubbing against him, feeling the thick protruding veins upon your walls. You dig your nails onto your palm, eyes closed shut as you prop yourself up to your feet.

“That's it, baby. Ride daddy's cock,” he insinuates, watching your face contort in pleasure. With your eyebrows knitted together, eyes shut and mouth wide open, Jungkook’s cock throbs inside of you.

“Look at that fucking face, cant take it?” he snickers.

“I can, I can,” you pant tirelessly, legs getting sore. Your brows drew deeper as you concentrated on the feeling of his cock hitting your sensitive nerves so good, already so close to an orgasm from how big he is.

But Jungkook wanted more. He wants it harder, rougher. He wants to shoot his hot cum so hard and deep inside your fresh womb, filling you up. He wants to wreck your body until you break.

So he releases your hands free and instead grabs a hold of your waist firmly, keeping you still. He plants his feet on the bed and starts to thrust his hips up like crazy.

Your jaw drops into an ‘o’ shape and you release a particular loud squeal. Your hands hold onto his broad shoulder, throwing your head back as he continues to drill your abused cunt. His balls slap against your ass, creating lewd slapping noises.

“Dadddyyyyy!” you shriek, eyes expanding so wide from the unexpected bliss of electric currents shooting down your spine. You can't handle it, your orgasm snapping in a quick second. “I'm—!”

Jungkook groans loudly when your pussy squirts your cum all over his dick and gushes all over his stomach. He fucks you through your mind-blowing orgasm, your eyes rolling back to your head as your legs shake from the unexpecting feeling. Your mind seems to cloud in lust as he doesn’t stop fucking you.

“Shit,” he laughs, “look at this poor little girl.” Jungkook caresses your ass before he spanks it roughly, emitting a whimper from your mouth, kneading the bruised flesh right after. “Squirting all over daddy. You love my big cock so much, huh? You horny, desperate little slut.”

Before you can even process what he just said, he flips you over until you lay down flat on your stomach. He hovers on top of you, keeping his dick in without pulling out. You yelp as he wraps his big hand around your throat, tightly squeezing your jugular without mercy.

“A-ahhh oh—” you choke, letting your forehead down to rest on the sheets as he continues to pound you from behind.

He had absolutely no mercy, using you as his little fucktoy for his pleasure, abusing your pussy like it was made for his demon cock. He chokes you harder, almost making you see stars.

Your cunt throbs once again, signalling that another orgasm is coming near. “Ohhhh fuck fuck fuck fuck!” you moan, heavy puffs of breath coming out of your mouth every time he thrusts into you.

Jungkook feels his nerves getting hotter and hotter, his cock aching to cum. He doesn't think of anything else but the way your walls clench so tightly around him. “Gonna break this motherfucking pussy of yours,” he growls, leaning down until his chest presses against your sweaty back. “I'm gonna fucking paint your walls with my cum, baby. You're gonna take all of it, you're gonna take all of daddy's cum in that tight cunt.”

Your legs squirm, hands closing into fists as you hit the bed over and over from how sensitive you become. Your hands claw the sheets tightly, back arching from the breathtaking pleasure.

“Ahhhh daddy! Ohh my fucking— ahhh yes, yes yes!” your body crumbles, mouth wide open as you scream while you cum for the second time. Your pussy pulses so harshly around his dick, coating it with your juices, making it more wet for him.

He groans, removing his hand from your throat and slaps your ass again. “Naughty little shit right here.” It was so messy, just how he likes it. His cum covered in your glistening arousal, fucking you through your high.

He immediately flips you around again, making you face him. He smirks cockily from your flushed chest and face, noticing that you were having trouble opening your eyes.

He leans down and rests his forearms beside your head, “Take it baby, take it.” he murmurs roughly, his balls getting heavier. “Take my fucking dick.”

Your legs never seem to stop quivering, everything around you seems blurry besides Jungkook's face. How does he still look so handsome and perfect? His black hair falls down his forehead, swaying with every hard thrust, his deep dimples peeking through when he bites his lower lip slowly while he savors the feeling of your warm, wet pussy.

“Gonna cum in you baby,” he pants, holding your cheek in one hand. “Daddy’s gonna cum so fuckin’ hard for you.” You notice a dark, sinister forming his lips as he looks down at you. There it was again, that intimidating, almost teasing look.

He growls roughly, hips staying still inside you as he dips down to gnaw at your shoulder. You hiss, whimpering when he sinks his teeth so harshly into your delicate skin, leaving an ugly mark. “Ah-ahh, daddy!” His cock spurts out warm strings of his seed, filling you up to the brim.

“Mmm, mmm, fuck yeah,” he moans, “take it, Y/n.”

When he pulls his cock out, his pupils enlarge as he sees your arousal dripping out of your cunt and onto your bed. He chuckles, stroking his cock a couple of times to milk himself furthermore, not wasting any of his sperm.

The two of you were breathless, breathing heavily. Your legs feel so sore and you can't feel them either, your ass stinging from his numerous rough spanks.

“Clean yourself up, Y/n.” Jungkook suddenly throws you a wet towel, about to ask him where it came from, although he just stares at you blankly with a quirked brow.

Gulping, you nod and start wiping yourself clean.

He can't leave now. Not after all of this.

There was something that attracted yourself to him. You can't seem to grasp what it is – but whenever Jungkook looks at you in the eyes, you feel like submitting.

It was like your body doesn't belong to you anymore. He possesses your body now.

“Crawl to me, my love.” He whispers, and you were easily drawn to his beautiful eyes.

Still naked, you do as you're told and crawl towards the edge of the bed where he stands. He wears his pants, thankfully covering his goods.

He sighs and softly caresses your cheek with a warm hand, making you flutter your eyes shut whilst leaning against his palm. He hums delightfully, smirking.

“Surrender.” He purrs, eyes drooping down as he looks at you with such gentleness, almost with care. He leans down until your faces are mere inches away from each other. “Surrender to me, my love. And I’ll take you to somewhere you belong.”

Your eyes shimmer, batting your eyelashes as you gawk up at him with eagerness. “W-Where I belong?” you repeat in question.

“Yes, Y/n.” He smiles, showing you his perfect teeth. “Where no one will judge you, no one will criticize you for you. You can be whoever you want, you can do whatever you want. Isn’t that exciting, baby?”

Mouth getting dry, your nerves heat up once again, feeling nothing but anticipation. “Yes.”

Jungkook holds your face in two hands, compelling you to stare unswervingly at his red eyes. “Submit to me, Y/n, and you’ll never worry about this earth’s dreadful problems.” His voice gravelly yet dark, somehow different to his normal human speaking voice.

You didn’t know what he really means by ‘submit’, or where he was supposed to take you. But your mind was telling you to go. Your consciousness speaks to you like someone was whispering in your ear what to do. You kneel before him, still keeping eye-contact. The air around the two of your shifts and it suddenly grows warm as your body starts to sweat.

“Where are…” your voice was breathy, “Where are you taking me?”

Jungkook starts to chuckle, brushing your hair back with his fingers. Suddenly, your heart races when he presses a tender, wet kiss on your forehead. Your eyes widen, heart beating out of your chest when he continues to kiss you down to the bridge of your nose, until it stops right upon your lips. He hovers his mouth right against yours, feeling his warm breath.

He whispers the words so ominously that goosebumps appear all over your arms and legs. “I’m gonna take you down to hell.”

Jungkook watches your face go pale, all the blood leaving your face as you gaze at him with such big, surprised eyes. Without warning, he presses his lips against yours. You can’t keep up with him, his kiss rough and dominating. You whimper when his hand goes to wrap itself around your throat, pulling you closer. His tongue easily slips in your mouth, causing you to gasp. Jungkook smirks through the kiss as he controls the way your mouth moves. The two muscles dance together with such need and passion, hands getting sweaty.

He bites your bottom lip, chewing on the soft flesh while he gently rolls it against his teeth. Jungkook growls, eyebrows furrowing. He can’t seem to get enough of you, wanting you all for himself. He’s addicted to you; your scent, your beautiful eyes, your body, he doesn’t want to leave this earth without you.

He needs you down with him.

Jungkook pulls out as he watches your flushed face, all out of breath. There was nothing else that you could do but whine about the loss of his lips. You were craving more of him. You pout, hoping that he’ll give in but Jungkook just shakes his head with a smirk.

“Answer me, baby. Go down with me, and I’ll treat you so good.” He insinuates, “I’ll treat you like my own fucking queen. Don’t you want that?”

You nod your head furiously, “I do want that,” you say softly.

He clicks his tongue, “Tch, louder.”

“I want it, please. Bring me with you.” Jungkook watches your pupils dilate, growing bigger as you speak. “Please.”

Jungkook smiles. And within a flash, the black smoke that was encircling the two of you all this time thickens and starts to wash over the two of you. You cough uncontrollably yet Jungkook just stands there and watches. The smoke fills your lungs until you lose consciousness.

Sounds of the crackling fire fills your eardrums, and your body tries to accommodate the scorching heat of your surroundings.

Opening your eyes, you see that you’re nowhere in your room, or in the overworld. All that your eyes can see was miles and miles of dark red and black hills, huge torches of fire everywhere, scattered all over the place. There were girls and boys dressed in all black outfits, walking around the place with blank faces, eyes having stripped off of their emotions.

You look down on yourself and thankfully, you were wearing clothes. A tight red dress that hugs your body perfectly, enhancing your curves.

“Y/n.”

A soft voice calls out your name, and you whip around to see Jungkook in his demon form, smiling at you as he sits on his throne. You feel a warm, familiar feeling in your heart as if coming home and going to bed from a long trip. His blazing eyes lead you to a trance.

He beckons you to him for he lifts his right hand out to you. He eyes your body up and down, fixing his posture whilst he runs his tongue along his bottom lip. The way your hips gently sways as you make your way towards him – not losing eye contact – and how your irises burn in desire, it was all that Jungkook asks for.

Your legs move without your permission, leading you up the stone steps to his throne.

His hand was warm when you grasp it, although it was rough and almost hard unlike his human skin, you touch as if there was no difference. You weren’t afraid anymore. Jungkook signals you to sit on his lap, and you gladly obey. With legs on either side of his thigh, you straddle him.

“You’re mine, baby.” Jungkook snarls, “This is your place now.”

“I…” you speak for the first time, “I can’t see my friends and family anymore?”

He shakes his head no with a sly grin.

You exhale, a big smile painting your face. You’ve never felt so content and happy in your entire life.

“Then I love it here.”

Jungkook makes sure that your angels can’t and won’t look for you anymore. He swears that he’ll protect you in every way possible, promising to shield you from anything that will hurt you. Jungkook looks at your beautiful red eyes, feeling your arms wrap around his neck as you pull him close.

The last thing anyone should do is trust a devil — and that goes for your foolish angels.

#jungkook smut #dom jungkook #jungkook devil #btsbookclub #btsguild #btswriterscollective #bangtansmutcentral #namjoon smut #seokjin smut #yoongi smut #hoseok smut #jimin smut #taehyung smut

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atlafan · 3 years

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a/n: A couple of weeks ago I saw a post about ex’s to lovers, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So basically it’s a story about two people who ended things on a semi-good note, like nothing inherently bad happened between them, but they decided to break up. Sometimes people find their way back to each other, though. That’s what we have here. Harry is a tax attorney, a few years older than our MC, Blair Smith, who teaches jazzercise. (not proofread) PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU READ THIS AND LIKE IT, YALL WANTED ME TO KEEP POSTING FICS ON HERE, SO HERE YOU GO! PLEASE, IT TAKES TWO SECONDS! Check out my patreon for other excursive content.

Warnings: angst, fluff, smut (sub!Harry????), mentions of death, a funeral

Words: 17.8K

Pairing: Harry x OC (Blair Smith)

When Blair Smith became a Physical Education major in college, she never thought that would lead her to leasing a dance studio, and teaching jazzercise. It took her until she was twenty-five to really get it all together. She wasn’t mad about it, she actually enjoyed it more than she thought. She double minored in Dance and in Business Administration, she had never been so thankful to have overloaded herself in her life. She thought she would be teaching gym at the high school level, along with some health and nutrition classes, but when she did her practicum semester at a local high school near her college, she realized that working with younger students was not for her. None of them listened, none of them really wanted to be there, aside from the gym-class-heroes, and she couldn’t stand that the majority wouldn’t even change their clothes for class.

Blair wanted to make her own rules. Luckily, after presenting a well-thought-out business plan to her parents, she was able to get them to co-sign for a loan from the bank to lease a dance studio. She named her studio Just Dance because she offered different types and levels of jazzercise. Some involved use of weights, some involved a little more high intensity, and some involved a little yoga. She was grateful for the couple of marketing classes she took because she was able to really build her brand. She had an Instagram, Facebook Page, and a website. She had an online way to sign up for memberships, and she had daily drop-in prices.

It was easier than she thought to build her clientele. She had a great spot in the city, and there was a small parking lot out back behind the building. Most of her friends from school signed up, and helped her advertise. It was open to men and women, as opposed to a lot of jazzercise places that only offered classes to women. Even though Blair couldn’t afford to hire a second instructor, she was managing things just fine. She offered two early morning sessions, one lunch hour session, and three evening sessions. So, she had plenty of time to relax, stretch, and not over work her muscles. She was strategic about class offerings as well. She gave herself Sundays and Fridays off, since those seemed to be the days with the least amount of people signed up. Monday through Thursday, and Saturday, she made sure to stagger her lessons. For example, Mondays and Wednesdays were weights and yoga infused classes, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays were the high intensity days. Going into her fourth year doing this, she had it down to a science to say the least.

Business was always really good in January and February, when people were making their New Year’s resolutions, and during the summer months when people were trying to feel better about being in their bathing suits. Blair always preached positivity and inner health as the most important things. It was an inclusive space, which is exactly what she wanted it to be.

She liked working for herself. If she needed to run errands between classes, she could. If she wanted to take a nap in the middle of the day, she could. She didn’t have to answer to a single person. Her parents would sometimes ask questions, but mostly just to make sure Blair was making her loan payments on time. She had automatic withdrawals set up with the bank, so she didn’t even need to think about it. Yup, Blair had just about everything figured out, and she knew she was very lucky for that.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Sullivan, we’ll get everything figured out for your son. Yes, he’s in very good hands with me. Alright, have a nice evening.” Harry hangs up his phone and sighs, rubbing at his temples to soothe the oncoming headache he could feel. It was another complicated trust fund case, but that was the job.

The Law Office of Styles and Associates was a tax attorney office. Harry specialized in cases that dealt with trusts, gifts, and various tax planning structures to reduce the burdens of income taxes and estate taxes, and he assisted in devising investment strategies. His undergraduate degree was in accounting, and he minored in pre-law. After that, he went to law school for three years and passed the bar. His father had been a tax attorney as well. Harry liked living the comfortable life he was able to live growing up thanks to his father, and he wanted the same for himself. Plus, he just enjoyed crunching numbers for people, so it was a win-win. Making nearly $150K a year wasn’t too shabby either.

“Hey, H, you ready to go?” John comes into Harry’s office.

“Yeah, just finished up for the day.” Harry stands up, puts his suit jacket back on, grabs his brief case, and heads out. “Kate, feel free to head home, I’m done for the day.” He tells his secretary on his way out.

“Thank you, Mr. Styles, have a nice weekend.” She smiles at him.

“Same to you.” He nods and keeps walking with John. “I feel terrible, she’s pregnant, you know? Her feet are the size of melons by the end of the day.”

“When’s her maternity leave start?” John asks as they enter the elevator.

“Not for a while, she’s only seven months along. She’s been trying to train some college intern to take her place while she’s gone, but no one’s as good as Kate.” Harry rolls her eyes. “Oh well, I’m happy for her. Her and husband have been trying to get pregnant for a while.”

Harry and John make their way to a bar downtown, one of their usual Friday evening spots. They usually met up with some of their other law-school buddies. It was also a great way to blow off steam from the week. Sometimes Harry would end up pulling a 60-hour week, so he thought he deserved to cut loose, and have a little fun with his friends. Maybe meet a pretty girl he could take back to her place and have a whole different kind of fun with her. Harry was a phenomenal attorney, but when it came to his personal life, well, if you looked up the definition of a playboy, his picture would be there. He fucked around, a lot, without a second thought. Actually, his only thought was to make sure he always had a condom. Harry never went bare back. The last thing he needed was someone claiming he was the father of their child, and suing him for child support. The only time he didn’t use a condom was when he was in a legitimate relationship a couple of years back.

He thought about her from time to time. He never met another girl like her, and there were times he really did miss her. The breakup wasn’t anything dramatic, the pair had just grown apart. Harry was in the process of taking over the practice for his father, and she…wasn’t quite ready to settle down. She wanted to work on her own career and make a name for herself. It hurt that she didn’t see him in her vision for the future, but he understood where she was coming from. She was a few years younger than him, and he didn’t want her to resent him for taking away her time to be young and have fun. So they ended it. Since her, he decided to have some fun himself with his friends.

Blair got the call right before her second morning class on Wednesday morning. She nearly collapsed on the floor in tears. Everyone rushed over to her. She had to cancel everything for the rest of the week, and her clients were more than understanding.

“How did it happen?” She asks her mother, Pam.

“He had a stroke, and…god, he just didn’t bounce back.” Pam uses a hankie to wipe her tears. “Most of everything should be all set, he was very specific, but…we’re going to need an attorney. Your father’s biggest fear is that his first wife would claim that she has a right to his pension, that she was promised money or something.”

“God, I hate her.” Blair grimaces. “All she’s ever cared about is making him miserable. She just wants money for her son. He’s not even Dad’s!”

“That’s why they got divorced! She cheated on him with his best friend and got knocked up. You can see how sticky this is going to get. I hate to ask, but…”

“I’ll go see him.” Blair sighs.

“I just think he might sympathize, maybe work the case pro bono. I’m not sure we could afford him otherwise.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mum, I’ll talk to him and figure it out. I’m not going to let Lora fuck everything up for you.”

Kate nearly choked on her water when she saw Blair walking towards her. She knew Harry had a meeting with a B. Smith. She should have known better.

“B-Blair, hi.” Kate says.

“Kate! Oh my goodness, you look incredible! You and Roger finally-“

“Yeah! I’m due in a couple more months.”

“That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you.” Blair smiles. “Um, I think I set up a meeting through an intern?”

“Yes.” Kate sighs. “I’m training her for when I go on maternity leave. Um, may I ask why you’re here to see Harry?”

“It’s strictly business. My…my father recently passed, and-“

“I’m so sorry.” Kate frowns. “He was always so nice.”

“Yeah, he was a good guy. Anyways, there’s a lot going on with his will and a trust he set up for my mom. Harry’s the only person I could think of when my mom said we’d need an attorney.”

“Of course.” Kate nods. “I’ll let him know you’re here.” Kate knocks on Harry’s door and opens it. “Mr. Styles?”

“Yes?”

“Your 2PM is here.”

“Ah, great.” Harry squints at his screen to check his calendar. “B. Smith? Why does that sound familiar?” He puckers his lips in thought.

“Um…it’s Blair.”

“Blair!” Harry stands up and bangs his knee in the process. “Why didn’t you tell me she was coming?!”

“I didn’t know! Maura answered when she called to set up the appointment.”

“Fuck.” Harry runs a hand through his hair. “How do I look? Is there anything in my teeth?”

“No, you’re fine. Just relax, I’m going to send her in.” Kate leaves his office and smiles at Blair. “He’s ready for you.”

“Thank you, Kate. We should catch up before the baby comes.”

“I’d like that. I miss going to your classes.”

Blair nods and goes into Harry’s office, closing the door behind her.

“Hi, Harry.”

“Hi.” He walks over to her, leaving about a foot of space between them. “To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you?” Her bottom lip trembles, and his smile fades. “What’s wrong?” He asks softly.

“M…my Dad died.” She says, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Oh, sweetheart.” He pulls her in for a hug so he can comfort her. “When’s the funeral? You know you could have just called me, you didn’t have to be so formal.”

“Actually, I did.” She sniffles and steps back from him. “I need an attorney, my mom and I do…only…we can’t really afford a good one.”

“Oh.” Harry nods. “Have a seat.” He gestures, and rounds his desk to sit back down in his own seat. “Is this about his ex-wife?”

“Unfortunately.” Blair rolls her eyes, and grabs a tissue off his desk. “My mom is scared she’s going to pull some fake paternity crap with her son, even though everyone knows he’s not my Dad’s. I think my mom just wants to be prepared for the inevitable shit storm Lora’s going to bring.”

“I don’t blame her.” Harry sighs and leans back in his chair. “I…haven’t taken a pro bono case yet this year. I could help that way.”

“Only if you really want to. I’m not asking for a handout, but I don’t trust anyone else to take care of me.” Blair blinks when she realizes what she’s said. “Us, I don’t trust anyone else to take care of us.”

“Right.” He leans forward. “I’d be happy to do it. Um, does your mom want to meet with me, or-“

“I think she’s sort of hoping I’ll take care of all the legal stuff. She’s grieving, you know?”

“So are you.” He frowns.

“You know me, I like to keep busy during these sorts of things. I can get a copy of the will, and the trust information over to you via email if that works, and then we can go from there?”

“Sure, yeah. My email’s still the same, um, and so is my phone number…”

“I still have your phone number.” She rolls her eyes.

“Then why didn’t you call me about this first? Why call and make an appointment?”

“I…I thought if I called…you’d think I was calling for something else.” She blushes. “I wanted you to know it was strictly business.”

“Blair, all you had to say was that your dad died. I could have been there for you. You live alone, all you do is work…your best friend is my cousin…do you and Riley even still talk?”

“Of course we do! Just because we broke up doesn’t mean that she and I did. I met you because of her, I was her friend first. It would be really shitty to stop talking to her because it didn’t work out with you.”

“Okay, Christ, calm down.” He shakes his head. “You’re as hot headed as ever, you know that?”

“I’m sorry, my father just died and I’m trying to keep it together!” Her eyes rim with tears again. “He’s never going to be able to walk down the aisle when I get married, he’s never going to meet his grandchildren, there are so many things…he was too young.” She sniffles.

“How did it happen?”

“He had a stroke, and didn’t recover.” She looks away.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I appreciate that, but that’s not going to being him back, so don’t be sorry. Just…help me with this.”

“I will, there’s no question about it.”

“Thank you, Harry.” She stands up. “I’ll email you.”

“Blair.” Harry stands up. “Look, if you need anything else, don’t be afraid to ask. If you need a friend…I’m here for you.”

“I have plenty of friends.” She sighs. “And no offense, but my friends don’t fuck a ton of women weekend after weekend and treat them like shit.” She smirks.

“I don’t do that.” His face flushes. “I just haven’t met someone I’ve really wanted to continue seeing, that’s all.”

“Harry.” Blair shakes her head as she chuckles. “Not that I ask, but Riley’s told me a few things. You two are close, and when she gets drunk she loves regaling me of your many escapades.”

“I’ll have to send her a very strongly worded text after you leave.” He rolls his eyes.

“Don’t get mad at her, it’s fine. I don’t really care.”

“You don’t?”

“No, why would I? It’s not me you’re fucking, so it doesn’t concern me.” She shrugs. “That’s the beauty of breaking up, Har, I don’t give a shit where you stick your dick at night.”

“Well, obviously you do if you won’t even let me be a friend to you, Blair.”

“I just…I don’t want us getting close again, alright? It’ll hurt when we end up parting way, and I don’t wanna go through that while also grieving my Dad. Can you understand that?”

“Yeah.” He nods. “Don’t worry, we’ll get this all sorted out.” He smiles at her.

“Thank you. I need to go. I told my mom I’d be over to help her pack some things up. She sort of just wants to rip the band aid and put his clothes away.”

“If you need any help at all with any heavy lifting, call me.”

“Harry.” Blair sighs.

“I’ve got that nice SUV, I can help move stuff, that’s all I’m saying.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll talk to you soon.” She says, and out the door she goes. Kate waits a moment before coming into Harry’s office.

“Scotch?” Kate asks.

“Scotch.” Harry nods, and Kate goes over to his credenza to take out his good crystal and liquor to pour him a small glass.

“You’ll get through this.” She lifts her water bottle to cheers with him, and he downs the brown liquid.

Blair was back at work the following week. She needed the distraction. Lora had been eerily quiet. Maybe she didn’t know that Blair’s father passed, but as soon as the obituary hit the papers, she was sure that witch would be out and about to cause some trouble. At the end of Blair’s last Thursday class, she heard the sound of dress shoes on the hard wood. She turns to see Harry.

“You know there’s not supposed to be outside shoes in here. I just mopped.” She puts her hands on her hips and huffs at him.

“Yeah, I’m well aware of the rules. I used to be your best customer, remember?” He smirks. “Anyways, I looked over all the documents, I thought you might like to go over everything with me before the funeral, in case she shows up to cause trouble, you’ll have all the facts.”

“I need to, like, go home and shower…today was an intensive day, I’m soaked.”

“Perfect, I’ve got dinner in the car. We can go there, eat, and go over the documents.” He smiles.

“You’re such a weasel.” She chuckles. “But I’m too tired to argue with you. What did you pick up to eat?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“Nothing special.” He shrugs. “Just some dumpling curry from that Thai place we both like.”

“I take it back you’re not a weasel, you’re the devil.”

Harry drives over to Blair’s apartment. He didn’t have a key anymore so he had to wait for her. He follows her up to her apartment, and makes himself at home while she goes to take a shower. She hadn’t changed much, but he definitely noticed some different pictures on her bookshelves. They used to be littered with framed photos of them, and she had a ton of scrapbooks for the two of them, but those seemed to be missing now as well. He sighs while he plates up the food for the both of them, and opens up a bottle of wine while he waits. Blair comes out about ten minutes later with her hair wrapped up in a towel, and her long, plush, pink robe around her body. She sits down next to him at the island.

“Wine?” She questions, but picks up the glass to take a sip.

“It’s been a long day, to be honest with you. I’m gonna work from home to catch up on some sleep tomorrow since I don’t have any meetings.”

“You know I have Fridays off, we could have done this tomorrow.” She frowns.

“It’s okay, I figured you’d want everything now. The funeral’s Saturday, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Eat up, and then we can look at everything.”

“We can do both at the same time.”

“Does your nose still run like a leaky faucet when you eat spicy food?” He smirks, and she rolls her eyes. “That’s what I thought.”

“Thank you for picking this up.” She says as she takes a bite. “I haven’t had this in forever.”

“Me neither…I stopped going because I didn’t want to run into you there.”

“That’s why I stopped going. We should have divided up restaurants when we broke up.” She laughs, and takes another sip of wine. “Do you mind if I dry my hair when we’re done eating? I’ll get a-“

“You’ll get a headache if you don’t, I know the drill.” He takes a sip of his own wine, and eats a spoonful of rice.

“Stop remembering things about me.” She swats a hand at him.

“We were together for long enough, Blair, I can’t help it.”

“Yeah, well, quit throwing it in my face, okay? We’re not doing this to go for a stroll down memory lane.”

Harry knew he’d be waiting at least twenty minutes while Blair dried her hair. He walks around her living room, stretching his legs a bit. He was curious to see what she had filled her bookshelves with. There was a picture of her and Riley from their freshman year of college. Harry picks it up and smiles. Harry was in his first year of law-school when Riley and Blair were college freshmen. He didn’t meet Blair formally until their senior year, and he was in his first year working at his father’s firm. He was helping Riley move in after winter break, and Blair had already been there.

“Blair!” Riley exclaimed. “I missed you so much.” She threw her arms around her.

“I missed you too! I’m glad we both agreed to come back a week early.”

“Same here. This is my cousin, Harry. Harry, this is Blair.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Harry shook Blair’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Her mouth had run dry. They held eye contact for a beat too long. “You’re in law school, right?”

“I finished last year, I’m actually working now. I’m a tax attorney.” He explains. “It’s my dad’s business.”

“And it’s super boring.” Riley rolled her eyes. “Har, could you bring everything in for me? I have a meeting with my advisor that I need to get to. We’re going over my practicum stuff.”

“Sure thing. We’re still getting dinner later, right?”

“Mhm, I shouldn’t be too long. Blair, you don’t mind if Harry hangs here for a bit, do you? You’re also welcome to come to dinner with us.”

“Sure, I don’t have a problem with it.” She shrugged.

“You’re the best. See you in a little while!”

“Is there a lot of stuff? I can help.” Blair said to Harry.

“Not a lot, no. But…I’ve never been here before, so if you could just show me upstairs, that would be great.”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

Harry brought Riley’s suitcase in, and Blair led him upstairs. She showed him Riley’s room.

“Is yours similar?” He asked.

“My room? Um, no…it’s a little different.” She swallowed. “Do you wanna see?”

“I’d love to.” He grinned, and followed her down the hall to her room. “Riley’s told me a lot about you over the years, but she failed to mention how insanely gorgeous you are.” He leaned against her wall after she closed her door.

“Well, she failed to mention how hot her cousin is, but I suppose that would be a weird thing to say about a family member.” She smirked. “How old are you, exactly?’

“I’m about to turn twenty-six, what about you?”

“I’m almost twenty-two…in May.”

“Not a huge age difference.” He walked towards her.

“Not at all.” She looked up at him with big eyes.

“Want me to kiss you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, all done.” Blair says, coming out with her all dry and pretty. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing, just saw this old picture of you and Riley.”

“God, we were babies then.” Blair smiles at the photo. “We took that on the day we met at orientation.” She looks at him. “Wanna sit on the couch?”

“Sure.” Harry grabs his briefcase and takes out all of the documents he needed to go over with Blair. “So, as you can see, your father set up a trust for you that you’ll get access to a year after his passing. That’s pretty standard. Your mother has a different sum of money that she’ll be able to access much sooner. There’s absolutely nothing in his will about Lora or her son. Even if she tries to contest it, there’s nothing in here that would indicate he was hiding anything. I looked over their divorce settlement as well, she stopped getting alimony when she remarried. She literally has no case. You and your mum can take a breather.”

“Oh, what a relief! Thank you, Harry. She’ll be able to let herself relax for the first time in a while.”

“Are you going to take any more time off from work?”

“Well, I’m closed Saturday, and I’m off Sunday, and I’m closed Monday as well. Then I’ll be back to it Tuesday.”

“You’re only giving yourself a long weekend?” He frowns.

“Harry, I can’t afford to keep closing. I make enough with the memberships, but I won’t be making the extra I do from the walk-ins.”

“Look, if you need some money-“

“Don’t you dare.” She stands up. “I don’t want your money, Harry, I never have, and I never will. I’m not your goddamn sugar baby!”

“I never said you were!” He says, standing up.

“But you used to make me feel like that all the time! You were always paying for every little thing. You never let me pay for a single thing. It was like you had zero confidence in me, even though I was running a successful business!”

“You were just starting out! All I wanted to do was help you, make it a little easier for you. You’re the one that went to their parents for loan help when I would have done it in a heartbeat! You crushed me.”

“We weren’t even living together, and you were ready to drop that amount of money on me?! That would have been so weird!”

“We were both working odd hours, and we had only been together a few months at that point, moving in would have been weird! A loan is totally different, I would have been investing in something great.”

“Well, I didn’t need your investment! We were together for nearly three years, Harry, what’s your excuse for not living together after all that time, hm?”

“I would have felt guilty. I was never home, I didn’t want you waiting up for me. It was easier when I could just come here and crawl into bed with you after a long day. And you always had to get up so much earlier than me. I thought…I thought it was better that we weren’t living together. You had never lived alone before, I wanted you to enjoy the freedom.”

“Was that it, or did you just want to keep your own?” She huffs, crossing her arms. “You know what, this fight is useless, it doesn’t matter because it’s not going to solve a single fucking thing. Thank you for your help, I really do appreciate it, but now that I know everything’s fine, you can go. If I need anything else from you down the line, I’ll reach out. I’m sure Lora will make a stink, and therefore I’ll need an attorney. But it’s all professional, Harry.”

“You’ve made that plenty clear already, thanks.” Harry packs up his things, and Blair walks him to the door. They look at each other. He just sighs and heads out the door.

Blair would be lying if she said that she didn’t miss Harry. They had a really special bond that was hard to find with just any one. All they did that first day they met was kiss, have a passionate make out, but that was it. Blair didn’t want to go too far with him in case Riley wasn’t comfortable with it. But Riley was overjoyed when Harry asked if she would mind if he asked Blair out on a date. It was a whirlwind from there.

He took her on some of the nicest dates she had ever been on. Most guys would take her out for coffee, maybe a movie if they could scrape the money together, but Harry took Blair out to nice restaurants, and to the movies that had lux levels. Not to mention his condo, god, she loved his condo. He liked that she kept things simple. Crockpot dinners at her place, watching TV curled up in her little full-sized bed, and clipping coupons together on Sunday mornings. That was where they had sex for the first time, in her little bed after their fifth date. He told her he loved her for the first time on the top of a Farris Wheel during the spring carnival her campus held, and she wasted no time saying it back. After that, a deeper trust formed between the two of them. One that not a lot of people would understand. Harry didn’t quite understand it himself since he was usually the one who was a little more dominant in bed, but with Blair…well, needless to say after a long week of working cases, his favorite thing was to come home, find her in his bedroom with some lingerie on, and letting her tie him to the bed posts for a little while. It was a release he didn’t even really know he needed. And with her, having been a college student about ready to graduate and enter the real world, it felt like so many things were out of control. Harry gave her that control back.

Harry wonders if that’s why they breakup seemed so much harder on him than her. It seemed like Blair was able to let go so easily. Yes, he started fucking around afterwards, but he just couldn’t get that same high from anyone else, nor did he trust some random girl at a bar to do the things for him that Blair once did. Blair was just better at hiding her emotions. She missed Harry, she’s missed him for a long time now. She cried for weeks, feeling this undeniable ache in her heart without him around. But, she had her studio to throw herself into, a brand to keep building. It was the perfect distraction, and even though she missed Harry, she didn’t hate being single for the first time in a while. For three years, Harry had been like her security blanket. The way she looked at it, every kid eventually stops sleeping with their security blanket at some point. It was time to be independent.

The funeral was a graveside service. It was cloudy, but there wasn’t rain, which was probably the only upside Blair could think of. She was there, sitting next to her mother, other family members in the row behind them. Her mother was holding Blair’s hand, but this is one the few times Blair wished someone was there for her. Just as the service was about to get started, someone sat down next to her. She looks to her right and sees Harry, dressed in black from head to toe. He doesn’t say anything, he just puts his arm around her, and rubs his shoulder. He gives Blair’s mom a soft smile before sitting back in his seat.

“Harry…you weren’t supposed to come until afterwards…” Blair says.

“I know.” He looks at her. “I just wanted to be here for you.”

Harry gave Blair his extra tissues while she cried during the service. He held her the entire time, and stayed back once it was over. Then, he offered to drive Blair and Pam back to Pam’s home. Neither of them were in any condition to drive. There were a lot of people that came back to the house afterwards. Blair was able to calm down a bit, but her mother was really taking it hard.

“We don’t have to do this today.” Harry says to Blair.

“No, we should just rip the band aid. Then she can just…” Blair’s eyes widen when she sees Lora walk through the door. “Oh, you miserable cunt.” She says.

“What?” Harry asks, confused.

“Not you, Lora’s here.” Blair storms over to her. “What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too.” Lora smiles. “I’m here to grieve the loss of my first husband.”

“You weren’t at the funeral.”

“I didn’t want to upset anyone.” Lora shrugs. “So…have you read the will yet? I think I should be in on that.”

“Lora.” Pam says when she walks over. “Alright, let’s get this over with.” Pam sighs, and has everyone follow her down the hall to the guest bedroom. Harry takes out the paperwork.

“There’s been-“ He starts, but he’s cut off.

“I’m sorry, but how is it legal if her boyfriend is reading the will?” Lora asks.

“We’re not together anymore. We haven’t been for a while. He’s here as our attorney, that’s it.” Blair says.

“Anyways, been a trust set up for Blair a little down the road. Everything else, including the house, has been left to Pamela Smith. There is no mention of anyone else’s name.”

“That can’t be right.” Lora scoffs. “I was promised-“

“He would have never left you anything.” Pam says. “And I’m sick of dealing with you. He’s gone, he’s left you nothing, you have no ties to us now. It’s clear as day that Derek is not his. He owed you absolutely nothing, you gold digging bitch.” Pam steps closer to Lora. “Now, get out of my house before I have you removed. I buried my husband today, I am in no mood to be fucked with.”

“Fine.” Lora says, turns on her heel and leaves.

“Way to go, Mum.” Blair gives her a high five. “I thought she’d put up more of a fight than that.”

“With your father maybe, but not with me. I’ve ripped her cheap extensions out more than once, and she knows I’ll do it again.” She takes take a deep breath. “I think I’m about ready to be done for the day. I need to lay down.”

“Do you want me to stay tonight?” Blair asks her.

“No, honey, thank you. Auntie Fay is staying, I’ll be alright.” She looks at Harry. “Harry, I can’t thank you enough for helping with all of this.”

“Don’t mention it. If there’s anything else I can do, anything at all, don’t be afraid to ask.”

“Drive Blair home.”

“Mum.”

Pam raises her hands in defense and leaves the room.

“I can drive you back if you want. I took an uber out here as it was.” Harry says, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“You’ve done enough for me today, it’s alright…I can make it back on my own. Riley’s flying back in from Chicago tomorrow and we’re gonna have a girl’s day, so-“

“Blair, I still have your keys in my pocket, I’m driving you.”

“I don’t need you to swoop in here and act like superman, Harry.” Her bottom lip trembles. “I know my dad’s not around to do it anymore, but-“

“Hey.” He takes her in his arms. “I wish I could take it all away, I really do. I wish you weren’t going through all of this, baby.”

“Harry.” She sighs heavily into his chest.

“Sorry.” He rests his chin on the top of her head. “Some habits are hard to break I guess.”

“Have you called anyone else baby in the last year?” She nuzzles in close to him.

“No.” He tilts her chin up to look at him. “I never could.”

“Okay, you can drive me home.” She sighs. “I’m about ready to pass out as it is.”

Blair takes a few minutes to say goodbye to the people still at the house before her and Harry get into her car. He keeps the music volume low, and her eyes start to droop. Harry can’t help but feel soft and warm knowing she was so easily able to fall asleep with him there still. She’d always fall asleep on long car rides.

“Blair.” Harry says, trying to wake her up. “We’re at your place, love.” She groans at him, and he sighs. “Are you really going to make me carry you up?” She groans again and he rolls his eyes. Blair would always pretend to be asleep so Harry would carry her inside. He unbuckles her, gets out, and opens her door to lift her out. “You’re killing me.” He grunts as he carries her to the front door. He keys in, and carries her up the stairs to her door. “I know you’re awake.” He says as he brings her to her bedroom.

“Mm, but you’re so strong and warm.” She mumbles.

“Okay.” He chuckles and lays her on her bed. “Are your pj’s still in the third drawer of your dresser.”

“Harry.” She sits up. “You don’t have to do all that…”

“I was just gonna grab you a shirt and get out of your hair.” He says innocently.

“God, I’m so confused.” She pinches the bridge of her nose.

“About what?” He grabs a bed shirt for her, and sits on the edge of her bed.

“I think I’m just feeling vulnerable, I don’t know.” She looks away from him. “I don’t want you to go.” She mutters, and then looks at him. “But I also don’t want to get your hopes up.”

“If you need me to stay as a friend, I can do that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’d never leave you like this.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I was just gonna pretend to leave, and then crash on your couch.”

“Well, you don’t have to do that. Got a queen sized bed now, plenty of room.”

“I can see that.” He smiles. “There was nothing wrong with your old bed. It was kinda fun when we were practically sleeping on top of each other.”

“Yeah, but your bed was better for…well…never mind.” She clears her throat. “Um, I still have some of your old pajama pants in my drawer, you can wear those if you want.”

“I’m good with just boxers if that’s alright with you.”

“Oh, um sure.” She gets off the bed to stand up. “I’m just gonna go wash up and change.”

Harry nods and gets undressed. He goes over to her bathroom door to wait his turn. Blair’s eyes widen when she sees him standing there in his underwear.

“You don’t have a spare toothbrush, do you?”

“Um, you can use one of the extra heads I have for my electric brush.”

“Thanks.” He steps into the bathroom as she leaves to go back to her bedroom.

“Oh my god.” She says to herself. He had beefed up a bit. Harry was already sort of beefy, but he used to be leaner. Had he been getting a lot of protein? She shakes her head as she crawls into bed. Harry comes in shortly after and gets in on the other side. She turns her head to look at him. “Thank you, Harry.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” He looks at her. “I’d be a pretty shitty person to leave you in a time like this.”

“Yeah, but you could be catching tail at some bar with your friends.” She smirks at him.

“You make me sound like I’m promiscuous or something.” He chuckles and turns fully on his side towards her. She does the same. “It’s a stress reliever, and I always wrap it up. M’not doing anything wrong.”

“Do you, um, do what we used to do with any of these hookups?”

“No.” He smirks. “No, I don’t think I could ever trust someone in that way again even if I tried.” He chews his bottom lip. “What about you?”

“Harry, to be honest with you…I haven’t slept with anyone since we broke up.”

“Blair, that was a year ago.”

“I’m well aware.” She rolls her eyes.

“That’s a long fucking dry spell.”

“It’s not a dry spell, it’s a personal choice. I threw myself into the studio, I worked on choreographing a ton of new dances. I was building my brand, bringing in more clientele. Plus…anytime I’d use a dating app or go out with Riley to a bar…no one was ever you.”

“I know things seemed mutual and we didn’t end in some big blow up…but I was so hurt that we couldn’t make things work.” He reaches to tuck some hair behind her ear. “I thought we were going to be together forever.”

“So did I…but I don’t know if I was ready for something so long-term yet, which I know sounds stupid because three years is a long time to be with someone.”

“It’s not stupid. I would have felt the same at that age. It was sort of selfish of me to try to lock you down the way I was.”

“You weren’t being selfish for wanting to be with me, Harry.”

“You know, the last thing I expected when I helped Riley move in that semester was falling in love with her roommate. You just looked so cute that day.”

“You remember how I looked when we first met?”

“How could I forget? You were wearing these sweater leggings that had snow flakes on them, and you were wearing this oversized sweater that was hanging off your shoulder, and you kept trying to tug it back on. You seemed so flustered around me.”

“I was.” She laughs. “I thought for sure you just wanted to fuck me and then leave with the way you pushed me up against the wall when you kissed me.”

“Yeah, you nearly shit yourself at dinner afterwards. Poor Riley had no idea I frenched you for a solid thirty minutes.”

“My lips were so swollen, she had to have known. I was more in shock when you came by a week later to ask me out. God, you were so cute, you were waiting outside my apartment with hot apple cider, and I had such a shit day at my practicum. I was in dingy sweats too, and you still told me I looked beautiful.”

“And I meant it.”

“Then you said I looked tired, and right before I went off on you, you pulled me inside and said that you were going to make me dinner so I could go upstairs and take a long hot shower.”

“Mhm, made you spaghetti and meatballs.”

“And that really yummy homemade garlic bread.” She smiles.

“Then we cuddled up and watched Ratatouille.” He chuckles.

“I was so mad that you had never seen it! And then you ended up loving it.”

“It’s a great movie, honestly.” He says, smiling at her. “Best first date ever.”

“Yeah, it was. When I went to sleep that night I couldn’t believe that a real man wanted to be with me. I don’t think any of the guys I dated in college knew how to cook.”

“Pretty sure I did a good job making you forget about any other guy you had ever been with.” He smirks, and she nudges his shoulder.

“Maybe…maybe when I’m in a better mindset…we could talk about…I mean…I’ve been thinking about you a lot ever since we started talking again, sorry, I’m rambling.” She sighs. “I don’t want you to think that I wanna give things another shot because you’ve been helping me and my mom, but it’s been hard not to think about it…especially after today.” She blinks away a few tears. “I wasn’t expecting you to come to the service. Riley felt awful that she couldn’t be there, and I felt so alone, even being with my mom. You’re so selfless.” She pouts at him.

“I would love to talk about potentially getting back together. I…I don’t think I realized how much I missed you until you walked into my office. I thought I was out having the time of my life, but I wasn’t. Nobody could ever compare to you.”

“I think I just need some time to make sure I’m not…I’m not just feeling this way because you’re being so sweet to me when no one else is.”

“Take all the time you need.” He strokes her cheek. “M’gonna turn over now. If you just so happen to feel like spooning me, I promise not to question it.”

“Please, snuggling sounds like the perfect medicine after today. Assume the position, Styles.”

He chuckles and rolls onto his other side. Blair slots a leg between his, and wraps her arm around his stomach. They both sigh, and wiggle closer to one another. Blair hadn’t felt peace like this in quite some time, and neither had Harry.

Blair woke up in a fog the next morning. Her eyes still felt puffy and swollen from crying, and even though the clock read 10AM, she felt like she could stay in bed for at least two more hours. She remembers Harry staying and falling asleep with her, but he wasn’t there next to her now. Where he laid was still warm, so he couldn’t have left too long ago. When she smells coffee, she wakes up a bit more. There was a coffee cup from Dunkin’ on her side table, along with a small bag that she knew had to be a coffee cake muffin. She sits up and sees a note next to the casual breakfast.

Had to rush off to the office this morning. Got a call that one of my major clients passed, and his family is already fighting over the money. Had to time to run out and get you brekkie though! I’ll call you later. – H

Blair pouts at the note, and takes a sip of her coffee, which had cooled down just enough for her to sip it without burning her tongue. She texts Harry a quick “thank you” before diving into her muffin. This was his signature “sorry for not being there when you wake up” breakfast treat. There had been many mornings Blair had woken up alone after spending the night with him. It wasn’t because Harry liked scooting out, he just usually got pulled away due to something work related, and he knew that Blair liked being able to sleep in when she could on the weekends, especially when she was still in school. She never minded because she knew he was busy. She used to just lounge around for an hour or so in his large bed before getting up and making it. Then she’d take an indulgent bath in his Jacuzzi-tub. He’d usually get back to her sometime in the afternoon, and they would snuggle up to watch a movie before he brought her back to her apartment. It worked for them.

There were plenty of times Blair had to scoot early as well. When she was doing her practicum, she needed to be at the high school no later than 7AM, which sucked because at the time she was a major night owl. It’s taken her years of discipline to get herself to fall asleep at a reasonable time so she wouldn’t be so groggy and grumpy in the morning. That was something that Harry helped with as well. He told her about this sleepy time playlist on Spotify that he would listen to on the nights he needed to go to bed early. Blair had told him she couldn’t afford the premium membership and she didn’t want to be jolted awake by ads. So what did Harry do? He bought the subscription plan that allowed for two people to be on it, helped her shift her account, and even though she protested, he insisted. The music sounded like something a masseuse would put on, and it always put her right to sleep. Harry was a genius, at least Blair thought so.

“How do you always have an answer for everything?” She had cried to him on a particularly stressful evening. It was after she graduated, and she had just gotten her business up and running. She felt overwhelmed and scared. “You always stay so calm, it’s like you don’t even care!”

“I just know that this’ll pass, baby. You just graduated from college, you’re going through a major life change. You’ve had the same routine all your life, and now it’s completely different. In a few months things won’t feel as scary.” He smiled at her, and wrapped his arms around her mid-section. “Went through the same thing myself not too long ago. I promise, it gets a lot better. Your early twenties fucking suck.”

“Yeah? How are things looking in the world of mid to late twenties?” She pouted up at him.

“Well,” he moved some hair away from her face, “I’ve got an incredible girlfriend who loves me, and I just so happen to love her, and I’m feeling settled in mt job, and I have a great place to live, and oh! Finally stopped having stress dreams about missing a big exam. Can’t complain too much.”

“I…I’m gonna be really busy at the studio. I have to choreograph all these dances, and start advertising, and-“

“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” He tugged her along down the hall to his home office.

“Harry, I’m not in the mood to fuck in your office…” She said, and Harry chuckled.

“As much as I love it when you let me bend you over my desk, that’s not what this is about.” He took her inside and took out a few sheets of blank paper and some pens. He sat down and pulled her into her lap. “Alright, this used to help me all the time when I was super stressed, still does, actually.” She watched as he drew three large circles, and wrote CHOREOGRAPHY in one, SOCIAL MEDIA, in another, and BUDGET

in the last. “Alright, so these are some rather large cookies, wouldn’t you say?” He looked up at her, and she looked down at him and nodded. “Okay, so what are some ways we can take little bites out of these?”

“Like a checklist for each?”

“Sort of, yeah.” He drew a few stems from each circle. “Almost like a backwards flow chart.”

“Is this what you do with your clients when they ask for financial advice?”

“Sometimes.” He nodded. “But more importantly, I want to help my girlfriend who is insanely frazzled. I hate when people try to be problem solvers…so hope you don’t think that’s what I’m trying to do…”

“No.” She shook her head. “This is great. I think if I have it all laid out in front of me…and can check certain things off…take smaller bites, like you said, I can handle things better.” She grabbed a pen and started writing, and making more stems, color coding a few of them. “My parents are gonna help cover the loan payments for the first year so I can save up, and start paying off my student loans.” She chewed her bottom lip. “And I can set aside some time in the mornings to do the social media stuff, and use the afternoons for choreography…evenings I can work on my website.”

“Just think of how sweet it’ll all taste by the time you finish.” He smiled up at her, and she leaned in to peck his lips.

“I love you, Harry, thank you.”

“I love you too, baby.” He kissed her again, ever so tenderly and soft. “Don’t let this stuff build up, you know you can talk to me about anything.”

“I just feel like my problems are so trivial, like, there are people that are starving, and I’m crying about being overwhelmed.”

“Your feelings are valid, don’t compare it to what someone else might be going through.”

“Do you think, um, could you just hold me for a bit?” It was so rare for Blair to be this vulnerable. Usually she was the one to hold Harry, but once in a while she just really needed him.

“Of course.” He shifted in his seat to cradle her to his chest. He was so warm and inviting, he always made Blair feel safe.

Blair sighs, and shakes herself from the memory. She couldn’t bask in the good times and act as if there weren’t also bad times. Although…there really weren’t that many bad times. She finishes up her muffin and gets out of bed. She grimaced when she saw herself in her bathroom mirror, and decided a long, hot shower would do her some good. She didn’t have the energy to wash her hair, so she grabs a scrunchie to put it up in a bun on the top of her head. As the warm water cascades over her body, she can’t help but continue to let her mind wander to other old memories.

“Harry! I told you I’d be five minutes.” Blair whispered to Harry as he entered the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and smirked. “Riley’s home! Just down the hall sleeping.” Harry pulled back the shower door, and walked into it with her. All he did was put a finger up to his lips.

“Then we’ll need to be quiet.” He whispered to her, ghosting his lips over hers.

“I…I’ve never had sex in the shower before. I always heard it wasn’t as cracked up as it looks in the movies.”

“That’s because people try too hard to do it full on.” He stepped into the water, getting his hair wet, and then moves her so she’s pressed up against the wall. He knelt in front of her, and looked up at her wet body. “Can I make you feel good, baby?”

“Y-yes.”

He grinned, and lifted one of her legs over his shoulder.

“Now, you need to stay quiet.” He pressed his lips to one of her hip bones, and kissed across her pelvis. “So, if it gets to be too much, just suck on your fingers or something, pull my hair, whatever you need to do.” She watched as his eyes darkened when he licked over her clit. His tongue moved to her slit and licked up. He moaned, letting his eyes flutter closed before looking back up at her. “You have no idea how fucking good you taste.”

“Blair!” Riley exclaims as she comes into the apartment. Blair’s taken from her thoughts just as she was whimpering out Harry’s name.

“I’m in the shower!” Blair yells back, and finishes cleaning herself up. She meets Riley out in the living room once she’s thrown some sweats on. “Hi.”

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there.” Riley wraps her arms around her friend.

“You couldn’t have known.” Blair hugs her back. “A month in Chicago, I can’t wait to hear all about it.” They let go of each other.

“Are you sure you wanna talk about all that?”

“Yeah, I need the distraction.”

“Alright. I brought coffee and doughnuts.” Riley smiles.

“Thank you, but I might save that for later. I had coffee and a muffin earlier…um, Harry spent the night last night.” Blair blushes as they both move to sit on the couch.

“Holy shit! Pleas don’t tell me you called him for a booty call.” Riley frowns.

“No, it was nothing like that. I told you he was helping with all of the legal stuff…he ended up coming to the funeral unannounced. He was there for me…he drove me home and I asked him to stay. We just slept, and he was gone before I woke up because of a work thing.”

“Ah, and he brought you the old comfort breakfast to make up for it.” Riley shakes her head. “Well, I’m glad he was there for you. I always hoped you would become friends at some point after you broke up.”

“I don’t think I realized how much I missed him. I’ve been so independent for the last year, it felt kind of nice to lean on him for a change.”

“Do you think you wanna get back together?”

“I don’t know…I was definitely feeling something yesterday, even this morning, but I don’t know if it’s because I’m just sad and vulnerable, or if it’s because I really wanna give it a second go. I don’t really know what would be different this time. He still works crazy hours, and-“

“He’s dialed back a lot.” Riley cuts him off. “Ever since he’s taken over, and once he really got settled into it, he hasn’t been working himself to the bone like he was. Are there still some sixty-hour weeks? Sometimes, but not like he was, I swear.”

“He didn’t seem to think we still spoke…so that made me think you weren’t as close with him…”

“I don’t hang out with him as much…I speak with his friend John quite a bit, though.” Riley blushes.

“Speak to or fuck?” Blair smirks.

“Don’t. If Harry knew I was messing around with one of his boys, god, I don’t even wanna think about it.”

“Oh, so he can go out with your friend, but you can’t go out with his?”

“John and I aren’t going out. We just…meet up to fuck sometimes, but we both still hookup with other people. I mean, I’m sure he slept with his share of people while I was away.”

“Did you?”

“There were a couple of people I let take me back to my hotel, yeah.” Riley nods. “Don’t say anything to Harry, okay?”

“Christ, I’m not his best friend all of a sudden. I think I was just emotional last night. I doubt we’ll even-“

There’s a jingle of keys, and then Harry’s entering the apartment. He freezes when he sees Riley.

“Hey! You’re back.” He smiles at his cousin. “How was Chicago?”

“Windy.” Riley says. “But fun, I made a ton of sales.”

“That’s great.” Harry sets the keys on the kitchen counter and then comes further into the living area. “How are you this morning?” He asks Blair.

“I’m okay, um, thanks for breakfast.”

“Yeah, of course, sorry I had to skip out. Uh, I just came back to see how you were, but I can see your girl’s day has started, so I’ll head out.”

“You can stay, Har, we were just gonna paint our nails, nothing you haven’t done with us before.” Riley says. “You don’t mind, right, Blair?”

“S-sure, you can stay, Harry…if you want to.”

“I’d love to stay.” He comes over and sits down on Blair’s other side. “Nothing like giving you a Styles sandwich to make you feel better.” He smirks. “Alright, Riles, what colors did you bring?”

The three ended up having a great day together. It felt like old times. They painted their nails, ordered Chinese, and watched Mystic Pizza. Riley was starting to get tired, so she left around six. The jet lag was catching up with her. So it was just Harry and Blair sitting on the couch watching Wall-E.

“Do you remember the first time we watched this?” Harry asks her a few minutes in.

“Mhm.” Blair smiles without looking at him. “It was that weekend we went away Hampton Beach, and it rained in the evening, so instead of being annoyed, we got all cozy and watched this.”

“After…” He looks at her, a smirk growing on his face.

“Harry.” She rolls her eyes.

“Come on, what did we do just before settling in to watch this adorable film?”

Blair sighs, but gives in, “We made hot fudge sundaes, and, um, I let you lay me on the counter and lick chocolate sauce and whipped cream off my body.” She swallows. “Then I did the same to you. We made a mess of the Air BnB.”

“We cleaned it up. Then we got into that big, comfy bed and just vegged out. Think this is one of my favorite Pixar films that you showed me.”

“You really liked Cars too.” Blair chuckles.

“Yeah, I did. That was a good one.” Harry leans back on the couch, crossing his arms behind his head.

“You don’t need to do this, you know?”

“Do what, love?” He says without looking at her, eyes focused on the screen.

“Babysit me.” She mutters.

“S’not what I’m doing.” He scoffs. “I’m enjoying spending time with you, Blair.” He looks at her. “And I’m worried about you, but I’m not babysitting you.” He puts his hand on her knee and gives it a squeeze before taking it away. “Just relax, yeah?”

“Thanks.” She pauses for a moment. “Harry…would you be taking care of me like this if you had a new girlfriend?” Her eyes start to well up with tears. “Because-“

“Why are you asking a what if like that?” He reaches to wipe her tears with his thumbs. “At the risk of sounding totally lame…I was sort of just waiting on you. Sort of hoping you’d wanna get back together at some point. I tried dating, but it’s like I told you…no one was ever you.”

“So you just kept fucking strangers?” She was so confused.

“It was all meaningless. I figured if you were out there living your life, then I should do the same.” He shrugs.

“Harry, I know you think we broke up because you thought I needed time to be young or whatever, but I wasn’t out there fucking a ton of different people. I just…I don’t know, I wanted to be on my own.”

“And I understood that, as much as it upset me. What was I going to do, beg you to stay my girlfriend?” He moves a bit closer to her. “If we were to get back together, what would you want to be different? Obviously things stopped working…”

“It’s not that they stopped working, I just…I think I just grew up a little bit. You gave me plenty of room for it, but I just sort of realized that there were other things I wanted to do and I didn’t wanna be totally tied down. If we were to get back together, I wouldn’t want you paying for things all the time, or thinking you need to fix all of my problems. Sometimes I just want someone to listen without making suggestions, you know?”

“I didn’t even realize I was doing that.” He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I know you always meant well, and you were just trying to help in your own way.” She gives him a reassuring smile. “It didn’t always bother me, but sometimes it did. I wasn’t perfect either, I know how closed off I could get.” She furrows her brows. “I’ve been trying to work on that. I added the yoga into my routines…so that’s been helping. You sort of inspired that.”

“I should start my membership back up.”

“Yeah…it would be nice to see you in class again.”

“Remember when I started coming on Tuesday evenings, and then we’d go to the Thai place for dinner afterwards?”

“Mhm, and then you’d take us back to your place, and set up a bath for us.” She sighs dreamily. “And then you’d massage my calves for me, ugh, I always loved that.”

“Couldn’t have my baby being sore the next morning, could I?” He pouts playfully at her, and she giggles.

“You were always so good to me.” Her face was only a few inches from his now.

“Fucking worshiped you.” His lips ghost over hers, and she whimpers.

“Kiss me, Harry.”

His lips slot over hers immediately, and cups her cheeks to pull her even closer. He sucks on her bottom lip, and she whimpers again. Blair tugs on Harry’s shirt, and then pushes his back to the couch. She moves to straddle him, and he wraps his arms around her body. They’re both grabbing at different parts of one another, and she shifts so she’s only straddling one of his thighs, rolling her hips down onto it. Harry groans, and starts kissing on her neck. She gets a fist full of his hair, and yanks his head back.

“Harry, I don’t think this is a good idea.” She admits. “I mean…we haven’t agreed to anything. I think we should take this slow, don’t you?”

“You just told me to kiss you, and then you climbed into my lap.” He smirks, and she starts laughing.

“Yeah.” She grips his chin with her other hand. “You’re always good at doing exactly what I say.”

“Always.” He agrees. “If you’re not planning on having your way with me then you should get off. You’re only gonna rile me up, and I’ve not done anything to deserve that.”

“No, I suppose you deserve a reward instead of a punishment.” She presses her forehead to his and lets her hands fall to his shoulders. She sighs heavily and then looks at him again. “I need a little more time. I wanna make sure that this really makes sense. The last thing I wanna do is hurt you again.”

“I don’t want you to feel hurt either.” He squeezes her hips. “I wanna give you the time, Blair, but you’ve also had a year to sort your feelings. You either wanna do this or you don’t.”

“I really hate it when you’re right.” She huffs. “But I know what you’re saying.”

“How about this…why don’t we go out Saturday night? We could go on a date, and see how it feels.”

“Why not Friday?”

“Because you work early on Saturday mornings, darling, and you’re just going to be getting back to it again.” He tucks some hair behind her hear. “Can’t have you being sleepy.”

“You’re so sweet.” She smiles. “Okay, yeah, I’d like that. Um, did you want to just go out for dinner?”

“If that’s what you wanna do, baby. I’m down for whatever.”

“I haven’t been to that grill we used to go to all the time in forever. Feel like I could go for a really good burger.”

“Alright, we’ll go to Benson’s. I’ll pick you up around six, how’s that sound?”

“I think it sounds like a date.”

On Wednesday evening, much to Blair’s surprise, Harry walked into one of her evening classes with Riley. Riley had a cheeky smile on her face, and Blair just shook her head at the two of them. It had been ages since Harry had been to one of her classes, and he had picked a yoga day.

“Good evening, everyone!” Blair says once everyone gets there. “We’re gonna start off with our warm up, and then get in to it. We’ll work a little with the weights, and then we’ll cool down with the yoga like always. Does everyone have their weights?” She hears a collective yes. “Alright!” She hops up onto the small stage and gets the music playing.

When the class is over, a few people hang back to talk to Blair. Riley would usually grab a quick bite with her after class. A guy was talking to her now.

“Hey, who is that?” Harry asks Riley as they clean up their stations.

“Hm? Oh, that’s Rich, he has a thing for Blair.” Riley rolls her eyes. “He refuses to take a hint. The second he found out she was single he was all over her. She’s nice to him, but she doesn’t like him back.”

Harry narrows his eyes, and reads Blair’s body language like a book. Her arms were crossed, and she was casually trying to step away from Rich.

“I’ll get him to leave her alone.” Harry says.

“Harry, don’t.” Riley grabs his wrist. “She can handle herself.”

“I know she can, but she looks so uncomfortable. What if they were left alone here, and he tried something. He needs to know she has some backup.” Harry walks over to the two, and Blair can’t help but smirk because she knows exactly why Harry’s walking over. “Hey, sorry to interrupt, but we should get going if we want to make trivia night.”

“Right! Yeah, sorry, Rich, I need to get the studio cleaned up so I can head out.” Blair was thankful. Harry was always good at coming up with excuses for them to leave places early. Usually it was because he needed to get her home so she could fuck him, obviously now that wasn’t the case.

“Oh…alright, well, I’ll see you next week. Have a good night.” Rich looks Harry up and down before leaving.

“Thank you.” Blair sighs. “He’s a nice guy, but I’m not interested.”

“Obviously.” Harry scoffs. “Have fun with Riley.”

“You don’t wanna come with?”

“Nah, I need to get home. I have some stuff I need to do before tomorrow. Still on for Saturday?”

“Mhm.” She nods with a smile.

“Good.” He kisses her cheek. “I’ll call you Friday.”

Harry leaves and Riley helps Blair cleanup before they head out to a Panera for dinner.

“So, you two are going out on Saturday?” Riley asks her when they sit down with their food.

“Yeah, it’s sort of like a first date. I wanna make sure things feel really right with us. I have a feeling we’ll get back together officially, though.”

“Yeah? What makes you think that?” Riley smirks.

“Well…we kissed on Sunday night when he was still over. It was a really good kiss too, it was familiar, but there was still that, like, passion, you know?”

“I would love it if you got back together. I never really liked the other people he dated, and I was so excited when you both got together. He’s like the brother I never had, and I want him with someone that really cares about him. I never doubted that with you. You guys got together at a weird time in your life where you were sort of at different places. Now…well, now you might mesh better. You grew up a lot during the time you were together, I know that was tough on you both.”

“Yeah, it was.” Blair sighs, and bites into her piece of bread. “I feel like I could handle things better now. He’s been there for me during so many tough times, he’s seen me…at my absolute worst, and still loved me through all of it. I can’t wrap my head around him turning into such a playboy.”

“I couldn’t believe it myself, but I honestly don’t think he really knew how to deal with not having you around, and then…I don’t know.” Riley shakes her head. “He always wrapped it up, that’s what John told me, anyways.”

“He mentioned that to me too.” Blair rolls her eyes. “I’m not going to hold anything against him, we weren’t together. I don’t have the right to judge him about it.”

“He only wanted you, B.” Riley smiles.

“I really have missed him.” Blair smiles. “I’m really looking forward to going out with him Saturday night.” She bites her bottom lip. “Wanna come with me to Victoria’s Secret during the day? I think I should pick out something new…”

“Yeah! I’ve got a coupon to go there, actually. I need some new undies.”

“Oh, yay! We haven’t been shopping in forever.”

“I know! I hope I’m not on the road for an entire month like that again. It got old real quick.”

On Friday, Harry was in his office wrapping some things up, going over some paperwork. Then he looked over his calendar for Monday, just to see what meetings he had, and if he needed to do anything over the weekend.

“Mr. Styles?” Kiley, the intern training with Kate comes into his office.

“Miss Stewart, what can I do you for?” He asks, giving her his full attention. She pouts slightly at him.

“You can just call me Kiley…you call Kate by her first name.”

“I’ve known Kate for quite some time, Miss Stewart.”

“Well, we’ll get to know each other pretty well once she’s on maternity…right?”

“Most likely.” He nods. “Did you need something?”

“Yes, sorry.” She pulls a paper out of her bag. “Um, I just need you to sign off on the hours I worked this week since Kate left early. I forgot to ask her before she stepped out for her doctor’s appointment.”

“Oh, sure.” He gestures for the paper. “They’re really on you guys about the hours, huh?”

“Yeah.” She sighs. “I don’t mind, though, because I have to write a paper explaining what I did, so having an account of that will be helpful.” She shrugs. Harry hums his response as he signs the paper and hands it back to her. “Thank you…any fun plans for the weekend?”

“Just laying low tonight. I’ve got a date tomorrow, though.” He smiles.

“Oh! That’s nice.” She smiles. “Did you just meet someone?”

“No.” He shakes his head with a chuckle. “Might be starting over with my ex, which I’m pretty excited about since I’m still hopelessly in love with her.”

“Well in that case, I hope it goes super well.” She beams at him.

“Thank you, Kiley.” Her smile widens at him even more. “Feel free to head out, enjoy your weekend.”

“Thank you, Mr. Styles. I expect a full report of your date on Monday morning.”

Harry chuckles and nods as she leaves. Just when he thought his door was going to close, John enters.

“Wrap it buddy boy, we gotta meet the guys soon.”

“About that…I’m going to skip out on tonight.”

“Seriously? Why?” John frowns.

“I…I have a date tomorrow night with Blair, and-“

“You can’t be serious.” John rolls his eyes and sits down. “Why would you even entertain the idea of getting back together with her?”

“Because she seems ready for a relationship again. I still love her, and I think she still loves me. There’s still a chemistry between us, physically, so we’re going to Benson’s for a burger tomorrow to see if everything else is still there.”

“So that means you can’t come out for guy’s night?”

“You know as well as I do that guy’s night never stays guy’s night. I don’t want to be tempted by anything that could fuck me over. Besides, it wouldn’t kill me to stay in for a change. There’s a book I’ve been meaning to get back to. I wouldn’t mind just taking it easy, you guys have a good time without me.” Harry smiles at his friend. “It’s nothing personal…”

“I know.” John sighs. “You’re just fun, that’s all…” John looks down at his phone and smirks.

“Maybe you’ll meet up with that girl you see on the regular. Seems like she just texted you.”

“Maybe she did.” John nods.

“How come you don’t just date her? I’ve watched you turn down other girls to go meet up with her a dozen times.”

“It’s a little complicated. She travels a lot for work, we’re both just looking for someone familiar to hookup with right now.”

“Guess that makes sense.” Harry shrugs. “You’re pretty busy yourself”

“Exactly, so when’s around I see her more, and when she’s gone, I see other people. She does the same. We’re pretty open about it.”

“Good.” Harry smiles. “Have a beer for me tonight, yeah?”

“Alright.” John sighs and stands up. “Have fun with Blair, I guess.”

“You could sound a little more enthused.”

“I’ll be enthused if she doesn’t string you along.”

“She never strung me along.” Harry shakes his head. “We were a great team.”

“Seems like you were always doing everything for her.”

“No, she did plenty for me.”

“Babe?! I picked up a pizza!” Blair shouted as she entered Harry’s place, putting her key in the bowl by the door. “Baby?!” He wasn’t in the kitchen like she thought he’d be. She set the pizza down on the counter and walked down the hall to his home office. Her jaw dropped when she saw him knuckling at his eyes. “Harry, are you crying?” She asked softly.

“Blair.” He said, almost surprised. “Hi, I lost track of time, I’m sorry. Let’s eat.” He stood up, but she went over to him and urged him to sit.

“What happened, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, baby.”

“It’s not nothing if you’re crying. Talk to me.”

“I’m just really stressed.” His voice cracked. “I was looking forward to taking over for my dad, but there’s so much other shit that’s been added to my plate that he didn’t really prepare me for. Now he’s down in Florida living it up with my mum, and I can’t even talk to him about it because I don’t want him to be disappointed in me. He’s trusting me with everything.”

“That’s a lot.” She wipes=d his tears away. “I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “Is…is there anything I can do to help? Anything I can do to help take your mind off things for a bit? I brought pizza…”

“Um…yeah, I think there is something you could do for me, but it doesn’t involve food.” He stood and took her hand, leading her out to the living room. They both sat down. “Sometimes when we’re having sex…I let you take the lead, have you noticed that?”

“A little.” She shrugged. “I mean, I like that you’re not super dominating, it makes me feel safe.”

“Right, but before you I wasn’t really like that. I was always in control, but with you…I feel really safe too. So safe…that I’m able to just let everything else slip away when we’re doing what we do.”

“What are you saying exactly?”

“I…I sometimes I think I want you to really be in control. I’m not saying all the time, but I have to be in control of so many things, and I think it would be nice to not.”

“Okay, so I could ride you more if you want.”

“Well, that would be nice.” He smirked. “But I’m talking more like…like maybe you could blindfold me once in a while, or you could cuff me to the bed?” His was flushed with embarrassment. Her eyes widened as she finally started to understand what he was trying to say. “I’ve totally freaked you out, haven’t I? I know that stuff isn’t for everyone. I was just thinking we’ve been together a while now-“

“Harry, calm down.” She smiled, squeezing his hand. “I think it’s kind of hot that you wanna explore some different things.”

“You do?”

“Mhm.” She nodded. “I…just don’t ask me to, like, whip you or anything. I don’t think I could hurt you.”

“No, I’m not looking for pain.” He chuckled. “I just…wanna clear my head sometimes, that’s all.”

“Okay, I think I could be into that. You know how much I love all your ties, I’d love to tie you up with them.” She grinned, and he groaned softly.

“What do you say we leave the pizza for later, and we head into the bedroom to explore a little bit?”

“I say we’re in for a fantastic weekend.”

“Whatever you say man.” John says. “See you Monday.” John leaves Harry’s office, and Harry sighs. He never told anyone about what he and Blair did, it was no one’s business. He certainly wasn’t going to let it slip now.

At around 10AM Saturday morning, Blair picked up Riley so they could go shopping. Riley had bags under her eyes, and a fresh hickey on her neck. Blair’s mouth fell open the second Riley got in the car.

“Don’t.” Riley mumbles.

“I didn’t say anything.” Blair chuckles.

“But I know what you’re thinking.”

“Did you meet up with John last night?”

“Yeah, I guess Harry didn’t feel like going out last night, so I met up with him at some bar, and then he came back with me to my place.”

“Oh shit, is still there?”

“No, he left at, like, seven.” Riley rolls her eyes. “But not before he fucked me again.” She shakes her head. “We’ve fucked so many times, I don’t know how he’s not sick of me yet, or how I’m not sick of him.”

“Maybe it’s a sign you two should be more.” Blair smirks.

“I mean, we’re basically just in an open relationship, that’s the way I look at it anyways.” She shrugs. “We were up most of the night.” She yawns loudly.

“You could have stayed home.” Blair frowns as she keeps her eyes on the road.

“No, it’s okay, I wanted to go shopping with you.”

The girls make their way to a Victoria’s Secret, and start shopping around. Just as Riley hoped, there was an underwear sale. Blair indulged in it as well. Nothing wrong with getting some new undies to replace some old ones.

“Oh, these are cute!” Blair says, holding up a cheeky pair of panties.

“Yeah! I’ve been way more into the lace cheeky bottoms instead of thongs lately.”

“Me too! It’s way more comfortable. To be honest, I wear boxers a lot around my apartment. They’re more breathable than athletic shorts, and they don’t ride up.”

“Of course men have more comfortable underwear than us.” Riley sighs heavily. “Oh! Look at these white ones! Can never have too many white pairs.”

“Snag me a pair, please.”

Once the girls are done picking out their underwear, and a couple of bras that were two $50 (yes, way overpriced, but necessary), they head to the part of the store where the lingerie was.

“What are you looking for exactly?” Riley asks as she looks over some babydoll nighties.

“I don’t know, nothing crazy, but if things go well tonight, which I think they will, I wanna surprise him with something fun.”

“You’d really jump into bed with him right away?” There was no judgement in Riley’s voice, more so surprise.

“I mean…I know he’s your cousin and all, but he’s pretty hard to resist, Riles. He had me wrapped around his finger from the second we met.”

“Fair enough.” Riley shrugs. “I might try one of these on…surprise John one of these nights.”

The girls giggle as they pick out different things. Blair ends up finding a black lace bralette and matching panties that she thinks will work well under an outfit. The only thing was the bralette didn’t have any support, like, at all, but she was able to adjust the straps on it a bit to give her a slight lift.

“God, I wish I danced as a kid.” Blair huffs as she leaves the dressing room to meet Riley out at the register line.

“Why?”

“Because then maybe I wouldn’t have these fucking honkers on my chest. I’d love to be able to wear a bralette without worrying. My boobs are so saggy, I look like a granny when I don’t have the proper support.”

“You’re being dramatic.” Riley chuckles.

“Easy for you to say, Miss B Cup.”

“Hey, I’d kill to have boobs like yours. I always feel like mine are too small. I have to wear pushups all the time. Besides, your boobs are not saggy, they just sit a little lower on your chest.”

“When I really started dancing I thought they’d get smaller since I was working out all the time, but nope. The worst part is, it’s all right here.” She lifts her arm slightly and rubs just under her armpit. “I’m only a C, but I feel like a double D sometimes when I put a bra on, it takes all the side boob to the front.” Blair puts her things up on the counter, and Riley goes to the next register.

“Find everything okay?” The girl behind the register asks.

“Mhm.” Blair smiles. “I have some coupons too.” She takes her phone out so the girl can scan the barcodes on Blair’s screen.

“Oh, that’s a good one! Took off 25% of your total.” The girl puts everything into a bag for Blair, and she heads out with Riley.

“So, when will John get to see that babydoll?” Blair smirks at Riley.

“When I feel like he deserves it.” Riley grins. “If he invites me over tonight, I might bring it with me.”

“Do you usually see him two nights in a row?”

“Sometimes, but not often. I think he missed me a little since I was gone for so long. Kinda missed him too. He told me he’d call me later today.” She shrugs.

The girls grab a quick lunch before heading home. Blair didn’t want to eat anything too heavy since she was going to be eating out for dinner, so she just had a salad. She spent some time doing some social media work for her business, and then spent some time putting a new dance together. Her customers had been asking for some more throwbacks, so she was crafting some choreography to a couple of Ricky Martin songs. They could be used for the high intensity days. She always recorded herself so she could go back later to review the steps.

When she was done she was drenched in sweat, so she hops into the shower to freshen up. She sort of ends up pampering herself a bit. She shaved her legs, so she massaged some lotion into them, and used some cocoa butter on her thighs because she liked the way it smelled. After that, she grabbed her electric razor to trip her bikini line, having exfoliated first in the shower, so she was plenty smooth where she wanted to be. She spritzes some perfume into the air and walks through it, then she gets to work on her hair. She had been sporting a shoulder length look lately. Her hair used to be really long in college, but in recent years she had been keeping it a tad shorter. It was up in a braid or bun most days, but she decides to wear it down tonight. She puts on some makeup, and then goes through her closet to find something to wear over her new lingerie. She decides on a pair of black jeans that could easily be word with some booties. She pulls on a blush pink tank top and a tan cardigan to complete the look. You could just see the lace top of the bralette, and she sort of liked that look. Her phone goes off just as she’s putting some lipstick on.

“Hello?” She answers brightly.

“Hey, baby, I’m downstairs.”

“Okay, be down in a sec!” She throws some makeup remover wipes into her bag, and a spare toothbrush, then she heads out. Again, she didn’t quite know what would happen tonight, but she wanted to be prepared. Harry was standing outside his car. He smiles when he sees her.

“Hi.” He says, and opens the car door for her.

“Hi, thanks.” She smiles back and gets inside. They head towards Benson’s, being silent in the car at first. “How was your week?” She asks him.

“Good, had a pretty good workout Wednesday.” He grins, looking at her for a moment before looking back at the road. It makes Blair giggle. “Work wasn’t too stressful for a change, although I’m getting anxious about Kate going on maternity leave.”

“Is the intern no good?”

“No, she just doesn’t have a lot of experience. She’ll get the hang of it.” He shrugs. “How was your week, how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. I spoke with my mom last night, she’s doing alright. My aunt’s been staying with her, so that’s good.”

“Do you think she’ll sell the house?”

“Nah, she likes where she lives, but I think she’s going to paint and change a few things so it doesn’t feel like such a ghost town, you know?”

“Makes sense.” Harry nods. “I know I’ve offered a ton, but if she needs any help with anything, don’t be afraid to ask. I can hold my own with a paintbrush.”

“Thank you, Harry, that’s very sweet.” She gives his shoulder a squeeze. “It was really nice having you in class Wednesday.” She says shyly.

“Yeah? Would you be opposed if I started coming regularly again?”

“Not at all, I’d really like it, actually.” She smiles. “It…it made it easier to wait to see you tonight.” She blushes, and he reaches for one of her hands. He brings it to his lips to kiss her knuckles.

“You’re cute.” He tells her, resting their hands on the console, not letting go at all.

They get to Benson’s, and get seated in a booth. Harry hesitates for a moment, desperately wanting to sit next to her, but he thinks that might be too much too soon, so he sits across from her. She gives him a funny look.

“What?” He asks.

“Nothing…you’re just far away. You usually sit next to me.”

“I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”

“I want you to.” Harry smiles, stands back up, and slides in next to her. She hooks her arms around his and rests her cheek on his shoulder. “Much better.” She sighs. He kisses the top of her head, and a waitress comes over.

“Evening, folks, are you expecting anyone else?” She asks.

“No, love, it’s just us.” Harry says to her, squinting at her nametag. “Becky, is it?”

“Y-yes.” She clears her throat. “Can I get you started with any drinks or appetizers?”

“Definitely two waters.” Blair begins. “And I’ll have a vodka-tonic, please.”

“I’ll have the same.” Harry says. “Do you want an app?” He asks Blair.

“No, I think just the burger will be good.”

“Right, think we’re ready to order dinner.” Harry says to Becky.

“Great! What can I get you?”

“I’ll have the turkey burger with cheddar cheese and sautéed mushrooms.” Blair says.

“And I’ll have veggie burger with avocado.” Harry says.

“Sounds good, I’ll be right back with your drinks.” Becky says, taking their menus before walking away.

“Just a veggie burger?” Blair asks Harry.

“Yeah, I’ve been craving a good one lately, and they make the best here.”

“Very true.” She nods. Becky comes back over with the drinks, and sets them on the table. “So…do anything fun last night?”

“I stayed in.” Harry says, before taking a sip of his drink. “Got caught up on a book I’ve been reading, watched a little TV, nothing special.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t go out with your friends. Isn’t Friday usually your guy’s night?”

“Yeah, I just felt like skipping last night.” He shrugs. “What about you, what did you do?”

“I ran errands all day, and then went to bed early so I could get up for my early classes this morning. Then Riley and I went shopping, and then I did some work at my place. Got ready to go out with you.” She shrugs.

“What does Riley have to say about all this?”

“She’s happy that we’re entertaining the idea of getting back together.” Blair chuckles and sips her drink. “Did you tell anyone we were going out tonight?”

“Mentioned it to my intern…and to John. He wasn’t so enthused.” Harry rolls his eyes.

“He’s never liked me, and I literally have no idea why.”

“Think he was just jealous that I snagged someone as gorgeous and bright as you.” Harry grins. “You know, when we first got together a ton of people gave me shit because you were still in school.”

“I was in my last semester, and I was twenty-one, it wasn’t like I was a child.” Blair scoffs.

“That’s what I said! It wasn’t like I was looking for someone younger than me, it just happened.”

“We just clicked right away, nothing wrong with that.” She inches a little closer to him, her ankle hooking around his under the table.

“Not at all.” His lips graze over hers, but their food is brought over to the table before they can really kiss.

They both giggle and dig into their food, each moaning out at the taste. They continue to talk about things, catching each other on the last year that they weren’t in one another’s lives. It felt easy and natural.

“I don’t wanna be too forward, but would you like to come back to mine when we’re done?” Harry asks.

“I’d like that.” She nods. “Got any sweets at home?”

“Mhm, I’ve got those chewy chocolate chip cookies you like so much.”

“This night just keeps getting better and better.” She smiles. When the check comes, they both reach for it.

“Blair, let go of the check.”

“No, I wanna pay for dinner.”

“I insist, let me pay.”

“Harry, I don’t want you always paying for everything, come on.”

“Fine, can we at least split it?”

“Ugh, fine.” She slaps her card down and so does he.

“So fucking irritating when you do that.” He huffs.

“No, what’s irritating is that you think I can’t pay for stuff.”

“That’s not what this is! I just like paying for our dates, it’s gentlemanly.”

“Yeah, well, it makes me feel like shit.” Becky comes to grabs the cards, and tells them she’ll be right back. “I’m doing well for myself now, I want things to be more equal. I’m not with you for your money.”

“I know you’re not, baby…I just…I can’t help that I wanna spoil you rotten.” He presses his forehead to hers, and she sighs before pecking his lips quickly.

“There are plenty of other ways you can do that, Harry.”

“Am I gonna have the chance?” Becky comes back with their cards, and they both sign their slips before sliding out of the booth. She takes his hand in hers as they walk out.

“Yes.” She says as they both get into the car. “I…I think wanna see where this goes with you, babe. I feel like I’m really ready for you now…”

“That means the world to me, Blair.” Her bottom lip starts to quiver, and he frowns. “Hey, why are you crying?” He reaches to caress her cheek.

“I just can’t believe you basically were waiting for me all this time.” She sniffles. “I feel so shitty. And I feel even shittier because I’m jealous of all the other people you slept with that we weren’t together.”

“Baby.” Harry sighs. “I was so in love with you, still am, none of them meant anything. I’m sorry you feel hurt by it. You don’t need to worry about it now, though, I’m all yours.” Her hand grips the collar of his shirt and she tugs him close to her, only a few centimeters apart.

“Mine.” She says, eyes darkening before her lips crash against his. She nips and sucks at his bottom lip as his hands cup her cheeks, trying to get even closer.

“Fuck.” He breathes, putting his keys in the ignition. “Need to get you home.” He pulls onto the street, and zips them home. His hand grips her thigh the entire time, squeezing it occasionally.

“Thought of you last weekend in the shower.” She says, shifting on her side a little. “Thought of the first time we had sex in the shower.” Her breath is on his ear now, and she nibbles on his lobe.

“Blair.” He warns, but she keeps going, kissing on his neck.

“Made me feel so good, always make me feel good.”

“Blair, I’m going to crash the car, just sit patiently, please.” She sits back normally in her seat. “Thank you.” He sighs. “So, you really thought of me?”

“It was hard not to with you leaving me breakfast.” She pouts at him. “So sweet of you, and I haven’t had a chance to even reward you for being so good to me.”

“You’re still into all that?” He asks cautiously.

“Only for you…do you still like it?”

“Only if it’s you. I told you I didn’t do that with anyone else.”

“You still trust me enough?”

“Course I do, baby.” He reaches for her hand to intertwine their fingers. He drives a little faster to his place, and they finally reach it. “Gonna take care of you first, and then you can do me, alright?”

“Whatever you want, babe.”

They get up to his place, somehow keeping their hands to themselves in the elevator. Before she knows it, Harry’s slamming Blair against the wall of his front hallway, attacking her neck with his lips.

“Gonna mark you up.” He says as he sucks on her skin. “Then everyone will know you’re taken again.”

She whimpers as her response, and pushes his head further into her neck. She wiggles out of her cardigan, and wraps her arms around his neck.

“Jump.” He grunts into her ear, and she does so, wrapping her legs around his waist so he can carry her to his bedroom. He sets her down on the bed, letting her get her shoes off. He does the same before kneeing onto the bed. She takes her tank top off, and his mouth waters at the sight of the bralette. “Christ.” He breathes as he gropes her supple breasts. “Missed these.” He sucks on her nipple through the lace, and her head rolls back. He does the same to the other one, getting it nice and pebbled. One of his hands slides down between her legs and he whimpers. “Need to get these off you, that okay?”

“Mhm, yeah, please.”

He undoes her button and zipper, yanking the jeans off of her. His eyes widen when he sees the matching panties.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Blair. Are these new?”

“Yeah, bought them today, just for you.” She props herself up on her elbows. “Wouldn’t mind you taking them off, though.”

Harry nearly growls as he tugs them down her legs. His hands slide up and down her smooth skin, having missed the feeling of her skin on his. He spreads her legs apart, and starts leaving open mouthed kisses on her inner thighs, sucking some nasty bruises into them. Blair clutches at his blankets and grits her teeth while he has his fun marking her up.

“Can I?” He asks, looking up at her. “Can I taste you?”

“Yes, of course you can.” She reaches forward to push his hair back, and he smiles at her before licking up her slit.

He licks and sucks all around her folds before working his tongue around her clit, sucking on it briefly before bringing his thumb to it. He licks into her center, making her mewl as he essentially just makes out sloppily with the area.

“Yes, fuck.” Her hands rake through his hair. “Feels so good, Harry.” She grinds against his face, and he moans against her. “Harry, fingers, please, use your fingers.” She whines.

He lifts his head from her, and reaches his hand up to her so she can suck on his fingers. She does so happily, and then he slips two fingers inside her. She gasps and lets her body go slack against the bed.

“Baby, shit, you’re so fucking tight, does it hurt?”

“No, feels so god, m’so wet.”

“I know, you’re dripping.” He pulls his fingers out and sucks on them, moaning again before slipping them back inside to the knuckle.

“R-right there.” She whimpers. Her mouth was open, body writhing under his, having not been touched by another man in almost a year, her body was reacting on overdrive. Her back was arching, and she was pushing her head further into the mattress. “Harry, Harry!” She screams as she comes around his fingers, and he fucks her through it, sucking on her clit to prolong it. As she starts to come down he sits up, and starts taking his shirt off. “Fuck, I’m gonna give it to you so good.” She sits up and watches he takes his clothes off. She takes her bralette off, and tosses it on the floor.

“How do you want me?”

“That depends…um…what would you like me to do? Like, how…how hard do you wanna go tonight?”

“I wanna be able to touch you since it’s been so long, and I wanna be able to look at you.”

“Alright, so we can just keep it sweet and easy, save the rest for another time.”

“Yeah…work back up to it.”

“Get on your back, m’gonna ride you.”

Harry gets himself situated, sitting up against the headboard. Blair raises an eyebrow at him.

“Just wanna be as close as possible tonight, baby.”

“Okay.” She smiles, and gets herself on his lap.

“Are you still on the pill?”

“Mhm, are you okay to not use a condom?”

“Definitely don’t want to. Need feel you.”

“Need to feel you too.”

She grips his hard cock, giving it a few pumps before she guides it inside herself. Her mouth falls open as she feels him stretch her out. Harry looks down and watches as she swallows him whole. They both moan out once he’s full inside her. Her fingernails dig into his shoulders as she gets adjusted to him. His hands squeeze at her hips and ass.

“Shit, Harry.” She presses her forehead to his. “Missed you so much.”

“Missed you too.” He cups her cheeks and kisses her as she starts to slowly rock on and off him. His tongue slips into her mouth, and she grips at his back as she kisses him back. “You feel so fucking good.” He says before biting her bottom lip, sucking on it.

She whimpers and moves herself a little faster on him. She grinds herself against him, feeling the friction on her clit start to form. His arms wrap around her back, his fingers digging into her skin.

“Move with me.” She says into his ear before nibbling on it.

He groans as he starts to thrust up into her. She starts to bounce up and down him, moving his hands to her hips. He watches as her breasts bounce in front of his face, and he leans in to kiss and suck on them. Her head rolls back with pleasure. She wanted to feel his tongue all over her. She brings two fingers to his mouth, and he takes them in quickly. He looks up at her as he sucks on them, swirling his tongue around them, and nipping at the pads of them. She takes them away to rub at her clit.

He growls, and moves to pin her on her back, surprising her completely. He was never like this in bed with her. She looks up at him with wide eyes as he throws one of her legs over his shoulder, and replaces her fingers with his own. She groans at his touch. He was driving himself in so much deeper and she could barely handle it.

“Okay?” He asks her, panting slightly.

“Mhm, it’s good, so good.” One of her hands goes to the back of his neck, pulling him down for a sloppy kiss. They breathe each other in and out once they both start panting. “Harry, fuck, I’m so close.” She squeezes around him and he bites down on her shoulder.

“Blair.” He moans into her ear. “Can I come inside you?”

“Yes! Fuck, yes, please!” She screams as she’s coming again, feeling even more turned on when she feels Harry’s hot come start to fill her up. She grinds her hips towards his trying to make her orgasm last as long as possible. “Love it when you fill me up, feels so good.” She says as she continues to squeeze around him.

He slots his mouth over hers as they both start to come down. Their tongues mold together as they kiss lazily. He’s slow to pull out, but he was too sensitive to stay inside her any longer. She squeezes her legs closed to try to not make a mess. Harry scoops Blair up quickly bridal style to carry her to the bathroom, setting her down gently on the toilet, and leaving her to do her business. When she walks out of the bathroom, he’s laying on his bed in a fresh pair of boxers with a dreamy smile on his face. She climbs onto the bed and lays in between his legs, resting her head on his tummy. She buries her face into his soft skin while he starts to card through her mussed up hair.

“So…we’re really back together?” He asks after a few moment of peaceful silence. She looks up at him with a smile on her face.

“Yeah, I really wanna be your girlfriend again.”

“You have no idea how happy I feel right now.” He continues to play with her hair as she sets her head back down.

“You’ve never really taken control like that before…I kinda liked it.” She peers up at him again, grinning. “Maybe I should see what being the sub feels like sometime.”

“Oh, baby, I don’t know if I could switch like that. Don’t think I’d get much pleasure in making you wait for things. Think I’d give in the second you asked for something.” He chuckles.

“You’re so cute, Harry, but I understand what you’re saying. I don’t mind being the one to do that stuff when you really need it, babe.” She moves further up his body so she can be closer to his face. “Do you think in a bit when you’re ready to go again we could…bring out some of your ties?”

“Feel like I’m already bloating back up, fuck.” He groans, and kisses her.

“You know what I’ve really missed doing with you?” She says, moving her lips to the shell of his ear.

“What, baby?”

“Fucking that tight hole of yours.” She says lowly, and he whimpers.

“Yes.” He breathes, and she looks at him. “Still have everything, it just hasn’t been used in a while.”

“Would you really wanna get into all of that tonight? I mean, I’m game if you are…you seemed hesitant before.”

“I just wanted to feel really close with you before, but now that we’ve got that out of our system I’m definitely up for it.” He pecks her lips. “We’ve got the rest of the weekend to do all we want.”

“Mmm, and the weekend after that, and the weekend after that, and maybe sometimes during the middle of the week. Oh! Remember when I used to come to your office at work, and I’d let you bend me over your desk, god, that was always so hot.”

“Or that time we screwed in that bathroom at your studio?” His smile was incredibly mischievous.

“Or the times you sit me up on the counter in your kitchen and fuck me?”

“Or the time you bent me over my own desk her here?”

“I think it’s time we make some new memories.” She says, getting off of him, and extending her hand out to him for him to follow.

“Couldn’t agree with you more.”

Blair leads them inside Harry’s walk in closet where he kept his box of toys. It was still in the same spot as always. She pops the lid off and they both smile at each other.

“How long do you think I could edge you for?” She asks him.

“Um, I should be okay to go for a while since I already came.”

“Excellent.” She picks up a cock ring, the kind that vibrates. “We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”

#harry styles #When the Time is Right #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles x oc #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #sub!harry #attorney!harry

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chisheya · 3 years

Text

hanahaki disease [niragi x reader x chishiya] highschool au!

Summary: love is reckoned to make us powerful; not susceptible - as much as i tried to convince myself that. as much as i tried to stay strong; tough and heroic, enough to risk it all and let my emotions surge on the exterior. strong enough to be crushed yet again, to love and be loved again - knowing my fragility.

i’ve known the agony and lament sufficiently enough that it demolished my sanity, left my soul burning away, gradually fading into ashes and disappearing like dust under the moonlight’s breeze. and the funny unfunny part is - i wish i had told him, perhaps one day i will.

‘‘I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you. My love bloomed like a flower in my chest.’‘

Tag list: (if you want to be tagged, let me know because the previous post got deleted for some weird reason lol)

Word count: 2.5k

The sun's soft twinkles crawl over house rooftops, and in an early hour, despite it, it still felt like a chilly morning. Early as it is, the neighborhood was caught up with parents rushing with their children, some going to work, some even rushing late. Thankfully, the riots of youngsters were vetoed by the sound of Supermassive Black Hole by Muse playing through my earphones. I was deliberately walking down the alley on my way to school, gripping the hem of my uniform and cursing to myself that this skirt was of no use to at least keep my legs warm.

The reckless gust reaching from my left side provoked me to jump out of my skin, revolting me from my daydream.

‘’God's sake-’’ I turn my head only to see Chishiya standing next to me, with a smirk on his lips. The sudden view of him caused me to blush, as my brain screamed oh-look-your-crush. Although you could rarely see this guy smiling and being friendly, his agenda was incompatible. Clever, crucial, and cunning as he is, he always had a special place in my heart. Why, you ask? I'd love to know that too... Maybe because he has been my friend since forever.

''You must be that cold, huh,'' Chishiya says sarcastically. ''Y-yeah.'' I murmur, ''anyway, again one of early practicals at the hospital today?'' ''Correct.''

''Yikes,'' I add, clicking my tongue, ''good luck.''

''Have you decided if you'll stay here in Tokyo?'' Chishiya pops a question, clearing his throat, as his face remains immersed on the boulevard in front of us. ''Huh, what do you mean?'' I add, looking up at him, wishing he'd look back at me. But he never does...

''For university.'' ''Oh, that,'' is all I say, before taking the next few seconds to think what to proceed with, ''yeah, Tokyo - I guess, still not sure yet.''

''It better be Tokyo or I'm disowning you.'' He says in a stern voice, delivering it with a smirk as he quickly runs his hand through my hair, resulting in becoming a mess.

''Hey!'' I chuckle, about to return the favor but he succeeded to grab my wrist and stop me just on time. Shucks.

Chishiya and I have been friends since childhood, as our dads have been friends since their early school days as well. He's in his third year in med school and I'm about to graduate in less than a month and enter university in few months. Not to mention, living close enough in the same neighborhood visiting Shuntaro's family every Sunday for dinner was a ritual that my dad, Aguni, and I couldn't stop doing. My mother has had enough of Tokyo so she decided to leave for England. Yeah, pretty simple...it has only been dad and me since. Not like I regret staying with dad, and if there was the father that would win The Dad of the Year award, it would be him. Playing cards meanwhile drinking wine was a post-dinner ritual for our dads, later through time, Chishiya joining them as well. In most cases, I'd end up just observing how they play and anticipating who's going to win. From Aguni being the best to, Shuntaro's dad, a few years later as Chishiya evolved enough his cunning games he beat them in it. He became a card game master, no jokes.

I didn't notice it has come for the time for us to go different paths, as my school was in the complete opposite direction.

''So,'' I murmur, stopping and turning to face him, ''I guess time to say goodbye.''

''Good luck, kid.'' He says, giving me a soft smile. Ah, if he only knew how something so insignificant and minor to him has such a consequence on my heart. But he never will though. As I know, what we are and what we are not.

I just smiled as I watch him turn his back on me and leave first. He always leaves first. I stayed few more seconds as his figure slowly fades of to distance I get ready to go my way.

⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟

After the last class, I choose to go to a nearby library to catch up on some assignments. The library is a soft of the enormous coffee shop yet one can stay all day and feel good even if one buys nothing at all. That's the discrepancy. It is a place of welcome for everyone rather than for "customers." This is not a money-nexus venue yet a love-nexus space, and that makes it a real treasure in this city.

I was relinquished and dazzled by the book in front of me, until the moment someone’s voice yanks me out of my thoughts.

''Since classes are over, want to grab lunch?'' I feel a hand placing softly on my left shoulder as a soft boyish voice peaks behind me.

''Niragi,'' my lips stretch in a smile as I embrace my best friend in a hug, ''of course, you mind if Chishiya tags along as well?''

''Oh,'' he mouths, providing it with a vague look, as I feel him stiffen up a bit and breaking the hug before proceeding, ''Chishiya..too?''

''Yeah!''

''Sure,'' he says, providing it with a soft smile, ''definitely..''

''Great, I'll let him know then.''

⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟

Niragi and I walked after school side by side, on the way to Shibuya where we agreed to meet up with Chishiya. As we have arrived early, we stand by a big poster advertisement. I gently lean my back onto it, facing the industrious avenues of Shibuya wandering with people. Niragi, leaning as well, right next to me.

''So, have you decided? Is it going to be Tokyo or London?''

''Hm,'' I murmur as his question breaks me out of my trance, ''regarding studies?'' He nods.

''Honestly, not sure,'' I hesitate, before proceeding, ''but I'd love to stay in Tokyo.'' This was not a lie, but London on the other hand, was just an excuse in case my health gets worse. An agreement was made with my dad that it'd be best to stay there with my mom and focus on getting better.

''Tokyo.'' I sigh, still caught up thinking what if I have to end up having to go back to London. What do I do then? And more importantly, what do I tell them? The minor, simple thought of lying to the people I deeply care about stings.

''And you?''

''Tokyo,'' he says softly while looking down, smiling - as the thought if he had something that binds him to dwell in this city, ''I already got accepted in for game engineering.''

I knock him softly on top of his head, standing on my tippy toes. Though he was portrayed as the delicate and sweet guy he is, he was taller than both Chishiya and me.

''Ouch,'' he exclaims as his hand rests on top of his head, my action catching him off guard, ''why did you do that?''

''Why haven't you told me, little idiot?''

''I planned to,'' he giggles, a wide smile as I've never seen scattering across his delicate features, ''I was waiting for you to confirm you got in your desired major as well.''

Yeah, I have, Niragi. It's just that I might not even be able to go because of my health. The phrases, the verdict, that I desired I could have mouthed out. But I couldn't, not now. Not when we're about part ways, and the way I want to remember these recollections is by them as their happy-selves, us cycling through alleys of Tokyo, eating noodles in the park during chilly nights, by city lights as the background noise of crickets was vetoed by our laughter. The recollections, moments I'll protect in my psyche permanently.

I just remained silent, looking at my friend as he was smiling and looking off to distance till he started waving to someone. I shift my gaze only to see Chishiya's figure approaching us, hands in his pockets as usual.

''Hello there, peasants.'' Chishiya teases, as he finally approaches us.

''Excuse me, lord Shuntaro.'' Niragi scoffs at him, crossing his arms.

''So where will we head to?''

''Whoa, Morizono, not even embracing your friend in a warm hug and you're already talking about eating,'' Chishiya says falsifying pain in his voice, ''I'm hurt.''

''Chishiya,'' I let out, rolling my eyes at his statement, ''I know you don't do hugs.'' I proceed, nudging his forearm slightly, hoping that the warmth I felt growing in my cheeks wasn't showing.

''Fuunji or Ichiran Shibuya?'' Niragi says, clicking his tongue.

''Fuunji,'' I mutter, at the same time as Chishiya adds, ''Ichiran.'' Our eyes met instantly as we both realized our choices were different.

Do I have to mention that I'm probably already blushing? No, because heck - yes I am.

Oh boy, here we go. Let him have his way, Y/N.

As you always do.

''You know what, let's go to Ichiran,'' I exclaim, looking in between my best friends waiting for them to agree.

''Ichiran it is,'' Niragi exclaims.

A little while later, our food has finally arrived. The moment it lands on the table, Niragi digs at his sweet and sour soup and pulls out all the cubes of carrot. I don't say anything, I really couldn't care less about table manners and there's always something interesting going on in his head. Chishiya calm and collected as he is, starts eating at a slow pace. After swallowing his first bite, he breaks the silence, ''we must go somewhere to celebrate your birthday, Y/N.''

''I'm not sure-''

Niragi peeks up at me with sticky fingers in his mouth. Meanwhile, Chishiya adds, through the mouthful, that I could just about make out the name "Kyoto."

As my mouth was full of food as well, I just nod seriously.

"That's a great idea, Chishiya. I never thought of that." Niragi grins, still with the fingers in his mouth, then he scoops them up and lines them neatly next to his stocking.

Chishiya holds out a cup of soju, "for Y/N." Niragi's hand comes over and snatches it up, his grin as wide as his cheeks will stretch, and scatters back.

Chishiya and I just exchanged looks, laughing at his silliness.

We drank soju, we were already merry and full, we told the most terrible of jokes. That was us. Casual, informal, yet caring enough to make the time we spend together joyful.

⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟

After grabbing lunch with Chishiya and Niragi, I headed straight home. The thought of visiting Kyoto for my birthday with them was still bouncing on my mind. The thing is, how to bring it up to Aguni? Hm? As loving and fond as he is of both of them, the thought of sending his only daughter away with two boys on a trip probably sounded far away from a brilliant idea. Sigh, I guess it'll take a lot to convince him.

''Dad, I'm home!'' I exclaim, meanwhile closing the doors behind me and taking off my shoes in the hallway.

''Someone's back home early, huh?'' Aguni says chuckling, as he plants a soft kiss on my forehead.

''Yup, something smells delightful,'' I say, meanwhile slapping my hands in excitement and taking my seat.

''Ah, you sneaky,'' He adds, taking the seat as well across me, ''it's your favorite - pad thai chicken wok.''

''So,'' I began, meanwhile randomly picking food with chopsticks in my plate, ''I have a question.''

''Yes?'' Aguni murmurs, mouthful, gazing up at me. ''So you know that my birthday is next week...'' I say awkwardly, placing my chopsticks gently on the table.

''Of course, how would I forget my daughter's birthday?'' He scoffs, butthurt that his daughter thinks he's that forgetful.

''No, of course not.'' I chuckle, ''but I did want to ask you something, uh...''

''Go ahead, silly.''

Just say it. Now or never. And I do - ''I've been thinking of visiting Kyoto with Chishiya and Niragi-''

''Not happening.''

''But-''

''You? On a trip? With two boys?'' his voice stern as he glares up at me, causing me to swallow, ''you must be out of your mind to think I'll let you, Y/N. Boys your age are wild.''

''No, there's going to be more of other friends...too, from school.'' I start, slightly panicking as I was also trying to think of the ways to get him to approve, ''not just Chishiya and Niragi, although you know they're my closest friends.'' I proceed further, looking around the food on the table, as I noticed he has almost cleared out his plate, and yet there was still chicken left in mine. Splendid, a perfect way to bribe him now.

''Plus,'' I mutter, as I start taking out the chicken from my plate, putting on his, his eyes now fully focused on that chicken, ''I know you trust them enough to protect me if anything happens, right?'' I grin, awkwardly.

''Only because they are aware who's your father and someone not to mess with.'' He adds, still not convinced enough, but still taking the small pieces of chicken with his chopsticks.

''Uh, yeah,'' I murmur, as I watch him, eating up those last few pieces of chicken as if they are his last, ''beside your protectiveness, what do you think?''

''Y/N, you've forgot one thing.'' Aguni says with a serious tone, placing down his chopsticks.

''What?'' I question, acting dumb. Expecting him to answer, he just remains silent and gives me an even worse glare now, ''doctor's appointment,'' I add, ''come on, it doesn't have to be next week as well. Just check with them if they can postpone it.''

He preserves silent, still staring up at me with a serious look on his face. Sigh.

''A trip with my friends is more important. Not to mention, it's our last as we're all parting ways soon because of university.''

''To you. But to me, your health is more important Y/N.''

''I...understand, dad,'' I sigh, looking up at him, falsifying a smile, ''but look at me, I'm feeling fine. I've never been better.''

''Same as you claimed in the past, until it happened again and I was close to losing you forever.'' He asserts, this time his voice louder than before.

''Dad...cheer up,'' I exclaim, as I reach out my hand, placing it on top of his, ''it's...just because it happened then, doesn't mean it will happen again.''

''You don't know that. Your condition is serious-''

''I'll take care of myself. Alright?'' I murmur, squeezing his hand, ''please, can I go?''

''Alright, alright. Under one condition, take care of yourself and as soon as you get back we're going to the doctors. Promise?''

''I promise.'' I holler, lunging from my seat to hug him before storming off to my room. As soon as I shut the door behind me, I lean my back on it.

There was an eerie sentiment I felt within, a good sort though - just not sure for what exact reason yet. It felt like it was the calling card of an adventure, paths awaiting, what will transpire. Whatever was ahead could be a great challenge, and there could be tears, but it was an exploration to take and so I smiled. The inklings would come, perhaps when I’d least expected it, so I’m ready to take this leap of faith.

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dameronology · 3 years

Text

love in the time of p.t.a meetings {marcus moreno} - 2/5

summary: your kid has taken a liking to marcus moreno - and frankly, so have you {series masterlist}

warnings: swearing, mentions of divorce & very brief mentions of his wife’s death

i don’t normally update series this quickly but this was originally one imagine that reached about 11k words lmao so it’s all written, just being split up. i’ve also decided it’s gonna be 5 parts instead of 3, cos i reread the ending and realised i was not done by a longshot. enjoy!

- jazz

Mondays. You hated ‘em.

Everything just seemed so...amplified. The peace and relaxation of the weekend was over and everyone had to go back on the grind. The traffic always seemed worst, the clock seemed to tick backwards and you just wanted to be at home, in bed. After an incident involving the dog, a toaster and a small pan fire, you were already running twenty minutes late and you knew in your soul that your child’s shoes weren’t on the right feet. That, and also he was wearing a Chewbacca onesie to school. It had been a compromise. As in, he was refusing to go to school unless you let him wear the damn thing. It was a compromise. You’d lost.

On the bright side, the past weekend had been the best you’d had in a long time. Jack had spent all of Saturday afternoon at the Heroics headquarters and he was so worn out, he’d slept through all of Sunday. Marcus Moreno must have a been a fucking wizard, because you’d been trying to tire the kid out for five years. You made a mental note to do something in return, though you sensed there was nothing on God’s green earth that could possibly amount to babysitting the world’s most exhausting child for six hours. You were allowed to say that, because Jack was your world’s most exhausting child and you wouldn’t have changed him for anything.

‘New week, huh buddy?’ You glanced at Jack in your rear view mirror. He was sat on his booster seat, legs dangling back and forth and a power ranger action figure in his hand. ‘A fresh start.’

‘Can we listen to the song from Cars?’ Jack ignored your comment.

‘You gotta try and behave yourself this week. You’ve seen what happens to people who do follow the rules, right? They get to go work at the Heroics-’

‘- I wanna listen to the song from Cars!’

You wanted to have a deep conversation. Jack wanted to listen to Life Is A Highway. That was...actually, it was exactly how you’d expected that to go. It wasn’t that off of the time you were trying to explain your divorce to him and he’d interrupted you to demand that you put Toy Story on.

‘Sure thing, kid.’ You rolled your eyes, reaching across to hand him on your phone. ‘D’you know how to spell it-’

Your sentence was cut off by the sound of guitars blaring from the speakers. At least he could work out Spotify.

By some miracle, you managed to make it the school with a few minutes to spare. Because most people had dropped their kids off earlier (see: on time), the lot was pretty empty. That meant you could once again dump your car without regard for the painted white lines -- who had time to park properly on a Monday morning? That was for people who had their shit together.

Leaping out the car, you almost cursed when you tripped over your heels. You didn’t have to wear them, but since you’d started working in a managerial role at your office, you figured it made you look a little more professional. And what was the harm in being a few inches taller? It made you feel powerful.

‘C’mon, J.’ You pulled open the back door, helping Jack leap out the car.

‘You know, I’m starting to think you can’t park your car at all.’

‘Marcus!’ Jack practically flew out the car, his tiny body suddenly jolting with excitement.

‘Morning, buddy.’ He replied; he then moved his brown eyes to gaze at you, offering a smile. ‘Hey.’

‘Hey, how you doing?’ You greeted him. ‘I don’t normally see you here in the mornings.’

‘Yeah, I normally drop Missy off at the front but it was one of those mornings, you know? She was taking a little more convincing than usual to go in.’

‘My kid is in a Wookiee onesie and backwards Thomas the Tank Engine shoes and you have the audacity to ask me if I know those mornings? I am those mornings.’ You replied.

Marcus chuckled. ‘I think it’s a look. I especially like the Lightning McQueen sunglasses.’

‘Do you have a super suit?’ Jack asked. ‘Can I try it on?’

‘C’mon, Jack. You’ve already managed to get a tour of the HQ.’ You ruffled his hair. ‘And we gotta get going to school.’

‘But I wanna ask more questions.’ He muttered. ‘I have over a hundred.’

‘Don’t I know it.’ You murmured under your breath. ‘But school is more important.’

‘I don’t wanna go anymore.’

‘I let you wear the onesie. That was our agreement, remember?’

‘All good superheroes have to get an education.’ Marcus reasoned. ‘And if you go in, maybe I can show you my suit at some point?’

'Okay!’ Jack grinned. He wrapped his arms around your waist in a quick hug, before peering up at you with a toothy smile. ‘See ya later!’

He turned on his heel and ripped his backpack from your hand, suddenly speeding up the path and towards school. Had...had that just happened? For once in your life, had you not had to wrench him from the car and wrestle him through the school gates? Move aside, Harry Potter, because Marcus Moreno was the new wizard in town. You might have been a little jealous that he was so good with your son but at the same time, it made you like him even more. He was the first parent at the school that had leant into Jack’s wild tendencies. And, whilst you tried not to think too much about it, even his own dad had struggled to do that. It made your heart warm a little.

‘You are seriously my favourite person.’ You chimed, leaning back against your car.

‘Kids with character are way more fun than kids who are well-behaved.’ Marcus replied.

‘I spent forty-five minutes scraping string cheese out the USB port of my computer yesterday, but sure.’

He chuckled. ‘No, I’m serious. I don’t encourage Missy to misbehave but she does get herself into some situations. I choose to see it as a testament to her intelligence rather than disobedience.’

‘I refuse to believe for a second that Missy ever misbehaves.’ You shot back back. ‘She seems so well-behaved.’

‘What you see in the parking lot is not a reflection of our whole lives.’ He reminded you.

‘Right, because despite appearances, I’m actually a very put together parent.’ You snorted. ‘But I get what you mean.’

‘I gotta get to work now, but it was good to see you.’ Marcus pulled his car keys out his pocket. ‘I was serious about that suit thing, by the way. He saw my katanas on Saturday.’

‘Katanas?’ You spluttered. ‘My kid managed to start a fire last week out of nothing and you want to give him katanas?!’

‘Maybe I can show you how to use them.’ He flashed you a smile. ‘And then you can pass on the knowledge.’

‘That’s probably an even worse idea.’ You shook your head with a laugh, pulling open your car door. ‘I’ll see you around.’

‘You as well. Have a good day, pretty lady.’

Did you stop thinking about your exchange at any point during the day? Absolutely not. In fact, you’d already written an email to the local deed poll office to change your legal name to Pretty Lady.

No, but in all seriousness, you’d been a little giddy about it. Had he been flirting? That didn’t seem like a long shot. You got on well, you’d hung out a bit over the weekend and not to toot your own horn, but you were by no means bad looking. Tired and a little frazzled, sometimes? Yeah. But anyone would have been lucky to have you and you were doing a better job at recognising that, especially since your divorce.

You were almost ecstatic when it got to 4PM and you hadn’t received a single call from Jack’s teachers. That meant that he had behaved, and what Marcus had said had worked. Because you worked past his finishing time, he usually went to the after-school club till you could come to collect him - it had been a lifesaver, especially since you couldn’t always leave early. He usually came home with some kind of weird arts and crafts. Last week, it had been an unidentifiable item made of dried macaroni and glitter. He’d placed it pridefully on the old fireplace in your lounge.

After saying goodbye to your co-workers, you headed out the building. Your office was right in the city centre and not too far out from the school. It was a nice place to be; your lunch hour, when you could head out to a street cart and eat your food in the local park, was usually the highlight of your day. It was when you could exist just as you. When you were at work, you were in charge on your entire department. When you were home, you were a parent 24/7. That time to yourself was vital.

As you were heading to your car, your phone began to ring. Your heart almost jumped out your chest when you saw Marcus’ name - he hadn’t called you before, only texted to sort out the previous weekend’s plans with Jack. You quickly organised yourself (he couldn’t see you, dumb ass) and cleared your throat.

‘Hey, everything alright?’ You brightly greeted him.

‘Hey! Are you out of work now?’

‘Yeah, I’m literally just leaving. What’s up?’

‘Look, I hate to do this but I’ve had an emergency at work - superhero related, you don’t wanna know - and I’m not gonna be out for hours.’ Marcus sounded stressed. Yeah, I feel that you thought. ‘Would you be able to pick up Missy and possibly have her for a few hours? If not, that’s totally-’

‘- I’d be glad too!’ You interrupted him. ‘I owe you one anyways for the weekend. And this morning, actually.’

‘You don’t owe me anything.’ He sounded surprised that you’d even imply it. ‘But I will definitely owe you for having Missy.’

‘Hey, it’s cool!’ You insisted. ‘Do you want me to drop her off at yours later?’

‘I can come and collect her if you text me your address?’

‘Perfect.’ You smiled. ‘I’ll see you later then?’

‘You’re a lifesaver.’ Marcus said. ‘I’ll text Missy to let her know to find your car instead of mine. I would ask for your plate number, but your car is...’

‘...bright red, covered in dents and hard to miss?’ You finished his sentence.

‘Exactly.’

You’d been in the same situation before; pulled between work and parenting, with Jack stuck at school and an important meeting that felt like it was never ending. It was hard to get a sitter on such short notice - or afford one, sometimes - and it was just another one of the million, stressful situations that single parenting could get you into. If you could help Marcus even a little bit, of course you were going to. You knew he’d do the same for you. Heck, he had done the same for you.

Jack and Missy were both chatty on the way home. Given that she was a little older than him, her conversational skills were strikingly better. It was nice to ask someone about their day and not get where are my Cheetos? as an answer. From what you gathered, she hated science class, enjoyed gym, and her favourite subject was lunch. That didn’t come as a surprise to you - her dad was a literal superhero and probably encouraged physical activity.

(You’d seen his arms, okay? They were more than enough to go on. I digress).

The only thing that made you wish you’d had a little more notice on having her for the evening was the state of your apartment. The place wasn’t bad; you’d lived there for the better part of eight years, and it was crammed with soft furniture and millions of blankets, as well as photos of you and Jack and his questionable art projects. It was just that you hadn’t done the dishes that morning, there was a mountain of shoes by the door and the pancakes from the previous night were still stuck on the roof.

Missy barely blinked an eye; the minute she saw your dog, she’d abandoned her bag and was playing with him.

‘Hey buddy!’ She grinned. ‘What’s he called?’

‘That’s Oppy.’ You replied, hanging your jacket up. She didn’t need to know that it was short for Optimus Prime. No guesses on whose idea that had been.

‘He’s so cute!’ Missy continued. ‘I’ve been asking dad for a dog for ages but he won’t budge.’

For some reason, that surprised you a little. Marcus might have been the leader of a super-hero team and a public figure, but you could tell he would do anything for his daughter. You knew because it was the same for you with Jack. He might have ruled your whole life but you would have hung the damn stars in the sky for him if he asked

‘They’re a lot of work.’ You reasoned. ‘I have to wake up every morning at 6AM to make sure he gets a walk. Then there’s the matter of-’

‘- mum! Optimus Prime pooped in the bathroom!’

‘The matter of that.’ You murmured under your breath.

The rest of the evening went pretty smoothly. You fed the kids some leftover takeaway and between the dog and Netflix, they were easily entertained. Jack seemed to take a liking to Missy, which was good because it meant he wanted to sit with her the entire time instead of bouncing off the walls. She had the same patience as her dad, especially when he asked her a million questions about superheroes. It took her twenty minutes to convince him that Batman wasn’t her uncle, and a further fifteen to make him believe that she hadn’t met Captain America.

Jack had asked you a few times about whether or not he would get siblings. Of course, it would be different to any interactions with Missy because he would have been the oldest, but it did get you thinking. You were finally in a place where you were moving past your former relationship and healing from the wounds. Time wasn’t much of an issue either - you’d had Jack when you were young and barely out of college. You couldn’t possibly imagine having any more kids right now, not when it was just the two of you, but in the future? You’d never rule out meeting somebody new. If anything, you were hopeful. Your first relationship had been your only one, and it had ended badly. You wanted to experience love for what it actually was, and not what you thought it was supposed to be.

Not long after 7PM, there was a knock on your door. By that point, both Missy and Jack had passed out on the sofa with Star Wars playing quietly in the background. It had been her idea to watch it - she had good taste. Marcus had clearly done a good job.

‘Hey!’ You greeted him as you pulled open the front door. ‘Come in quick, it’s fucking freezing out there.’

‘Thank you.’ Marcus came inside, dusting a few snow flakes out his hair. ‘Seriously, I can’t say it enough-’

‘- it’s fine!’ You shook your head, offering him a smile. ‘Missy’s been great. She’s really chatty and it was nice to have a coherent conversation with someone that isn’t about Paw Patrol. But was everything at the office okay?’

He was quiet for a minute. ‘Yeah. We uh, we lost someone. A hero.’

‘Shit, man. I’m sorry.’ Your voice fell quiet. ‘You wanna come in? You look like you could probably take a moment.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Of course! Missy and Jack are both asleep on the couch anyways.’ You pointed through to the living room. Marcus leant over to have a look, smiling slightly at the sight.

‘Thank you. I’d appreciate that.’

He took a seat at the kitchen counter. Your old bar stools were a little old and wobbly, but Marcus didn’t seem to notice. If anything, he admired the place. It was cluttered as hell and filled with useless, old items - cook books you didn’t use, random magnets, assorted toys - but it was nice. His house always felt a little cold and clinical. He’d moved a lot over the course of Missy’s life and now that he was retired from the field, he’d sworn to her that their current house was going to be permanent. Whether or not it felt like home was another question entirely.

‘I would offer you a drink but all I have is..’ you paused, opening the fridge. ‘Nesquik, vodka or apple juice.’

‘You know what? A Nesquik doesn’t sound too bad.’

‘I like your thinking, Moreno.’

After quickly fixing up the two drinks, you slid into the seat beside him and handed him one. You had never in a million years imagined a situation where Marcus Moreno would be in your kitchen drinking chocolate milk, but here we were. It had clearly been a long day for him and you had enough of those to last a lifetime, so you knew how it felt. Coming home after a day that had beat your ass into the ground and having to put on a brave face for your kids was difficult at best.

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ You gently asked.

‘Yeah, I’ll be okay - it just always fucks me up a bit.’ Marcus murmured quietly. ‘Hits a little too close to home.’

He wasn’t an idiot. He knew that you knew what had happened to his wife. You knew why he’d retired, and why he and Missy had moved away from their original city six years ago.

‘Sorry, that was too deep-’

‘- it wasn’t!’ You quickly cut him off. ‘I’ve had random women come up to me at pick up time and say they’re sorry to hear about my divorce. People I don’t even know. So really, after that, nothing is too much.’

He smiled slightly. ‘They always say they’re sorry but why would you bring up a subject if you have to apologise for it?’

‘Exactly!’ You replied. ‘Especially when I’ve moved on. It’s been a year.’

‘It’s the same with me. Missy and I miss her everyday but we don’t mope about it. We just...we look back with fondness on the good memories we have. You can’t move forward if you’re stuck in the past, no matter how much it sucks.’

‘That’s...that’s wise.’ You blinked in surprise. ‘S’pose that means I should take down the dartboard I have with my ex’s face on.’

‘From what I’ve heard, he seems like he should have more than a dart board.’ Marcus snorted - then he froze. ‘Wait, not that I’ve heard stuff, I mean...I don’t listen-’

‘- Marcus!’ You whacked his arm. ‘It’s fine. One of the other kid’s mums started telling me about the terrible divorce someone was going through but she realised she was gossiping to the one who was going through it.’

‘I don’t know how much of what I’ve been told is true, but it sounds like it was bad.’ His hand hovered over where yours was rested on the counter.

‘The rumours pretty much get the gist of it.’ You replied. ‘But we were talking about your thing, so I don’t wanna take away from that.’

‘Hey, it’s okay.’ He finally moved his hand, fingers gently curling underneath yours to intertwine them. ‘If even half of the whispers are true, he sounds like an asshole. You and Jack both deserve better than that.’

Whatever people had said, it had sort of covered the gist of it. You’d married too young and had a kid too young - your ex had been a terrible husband and an even worst husband. He’d chastised Jack for being...well, being Jack. He’d stay out late with his friends, spend money on things neither of you needed and tried to make you take the blame for it all. After giving him a few too many chances, you’d finally reached breaking point and kicked him out. Filing for divorce and taking on being a single parent was single-handedly the hardest and bravest thing you’d ever had to do. In a way, you were glad you’d done it when Jack was still so young - he didn’t really understand any of it, even when you’d try to explain it in child friendly terms.

‘I think people judge me for it a little sometimes.’ You confessed. ‘They see me struggling but they know I made the choice to separate from him, like I brought it all on myself.’

‘That’s bullshit.’ Marcus plainly stated. ‘Parenthood isn’t a dependent thing based on whether or not you’re still married to the other parent. It’s unconditional and permanent.’

‘I should tell him that, but I also don’t want him back in our lives.’

‘I know it’s none of my business, but he doesn’t deserve Jack. He’s one of the best and brightest kids I’ve ever met.’

‘Thank you. I’m glad he doesn’t seem like a complete lunatic.’

‘He doesn’t deserve you either.’ Marcus continued. ‘Again, I might be out of place saying this but you are...you’re amazing. I was a wreck when I was suddenly on my own and you’re still holding everything together and working your ass off.’

‘You’ve noticed?’ You quirked an eyebrow.

‘Yeah, in passing.’ He admitted. ‘I remember I once saw you carrying three separate science projects at once and then Carol made a passing comment that you were on your own and...I just kinda admired you from afar.’

‘You, Marcus Moreno, admired me?’ You blinked at him in disbelief. ‘I find that hard to believe.’

‘I wish I’d had my shit together half as much as you did when I lost Missy’s mum.’

‘But the difference is you didn’t have a choice in your situation. I chose to boot his dad out-’

‘- you gotta stop discrediting yourself.’ He shook his head. ‘And stop blaming yourself. You did what was right for your kid and that is the most admirable thing of all.’

‘You really think so?’

‘I know so.’

The conversation slowly drizzled away, leaving you two to just look at each other. It was hard to tear yourself away from his brown eyes - there was a lot going on behind them. Fear, pain, anguish, admiration. He was one of the most mind-blowingly impressive people you’d ever met; single dad, superhero, electric car owner. He probably didn’t have a mortgage too and that was kinda hot. You were none of those things and yet, here he was, with you, managing to connect on a level that you never had with anyone. Both of your situations were tough, but they’d brought you together.

Marcus Moreno was pretty fucking fearless (came with the job, you figured), and he wasn’t afraid to make the first move. He slowly inched his head forward and in return, you gravitated towards him. Your lips met halfway in a soft kiss, his hands moving to firmly hold your waist as he pulled you closer.

You almost stumbled out your chair with the movement, but his grip on your hips meant you didn’t slip. Instead, he placed you up on the counter, standing up as he did. It took you a moment to adjust to the position, but with your legs resting on either side of his, you could reach forward and lean on him. You had one hand tangled in his hair and the other on the back of his neck - you’d surprised yourself with that. It had been months since you’d kissed anyone, but you weren’t as rusty as you thought.

‘Oh my god, is the superhero gonna be my new dad?!’

Marcus suddenly jumped backwards at the sound of Jack’s voice. He was stood in the doorway, post-nap hair covered by a lopsided Chewbacca hood. His eyes were like dinner plates, even though he was grinning from ear to ear.

‘Uh...’ you glanced between him and Marcus. ‘We were just...we were...’

‘I had something in my eye.’

‘He had something in his eye.’ You quickly agreed. ‘But now it’s out, so Marcus is gonna go home.’

He knew you didn’t mean it rudely - it was more of a desperation thing. The longer he stayed, the more questions Jack would come out with. Missy could have overheard too and that would have been twice as much to explain. So really, the sooner he got out, the better.

‘Yeah. I’ll uh, I’ll grab Missy.’ Marcus said, scratching the back of his head. ‘Thank you again for looking after her.’

‘You don’t need to keep thanking me.’ You shot back.

He disappeared into the living room for a moment, reemerging with a sleeping Missy in his arms a moment later. Your eyes met again, and he gave you a soft smile.

‘I’ll call you.’

‘Yeah, sure.’ You nodded. ‘See you, Marcus.’

True to character, the next hour was spent being pelted with questions from your over-curious son. He didn’t shut up once when you were bathing him and he got even louder when you were reading him his best time story. On the bright side, you’d managed to get him to change out of his slightly manky Wookiee onesie and into a clean Buzz Lightyear one. Normally, you would have argued that he couldn’t live in pyjamas, but if it kept him quiet? It was a price you were willing to pay.

‘Night, kiddo.’ You pressed a kiss to his forehead, switching on his nightlight. ‘Remember our deal, yeah? If I buy you a Happy Meal tomorrow, you won’t mention what you saw to any of your friends?’

‘You said library was bad.’

‘No, it’s bribery.’ You corrected him. ‘And do as I say, not as I do.’

‘Sounds bad, but okay.’ He sleepily murmured. ‘Night.’

‘Night.’ You stood up, flicking out his bedroom lights.

‘Wait, mum!’ Jack suddenly sat up, as though he’d remembered something. ‘You never said no.’

‘No to what, buddy?’

‘When I asked if the superhero was my new dad.’

Well, fuck.

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#marcus moreno x reader #marcus moreno imagine #marcus moreno x you #marcus moreno x y/n #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character headcanons #pedro pascal characters x reader

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