“what if something being scary doesn’t make it bad” is one of those nearly bulletproof fictional angles for me like i am already in from moment one tell me more about how the terrifying and/or grotesque is not necessarily evil

there is a saying that goes like "the devil is the father of lies"

well, in this case, the mother! Ragatha decides to scam ppl because obviously that's easier than getting a job

au belongs to @spitinsideme

I don't expect BG3 to do anything for me emotionally, although it's probably unfair of me to judge a game by its first act. I don't think it's quite that unfair, though... hooks are an important part of getting character/narrative-oriented players to stick around long enough to see the rest of your long-ass game, and frankly Larian plots are known for not having the kinds of hooks that I'm baited by -- they got lucky with the Durge concept, which is the only reason I'm playing at all... but I digress

I'm skeptical about whether there will be any lasting emotional resonance at all but there was a moment where I was standing in the middle of camp after killing that girl and I could feel all my companions' disgusted eyes on me. but I couldn't not revel in my art. it is an inalienable part of me. the biggest part of me, maybe. to be granted this, but not be granted companions that could appreciate it, that also ached to see the sights that I had to show them, much as I ached to create them? therein lies the curse -- not in the hunger, but in how it isolates me.

so, basically, for me, they nailed it in one with that scene

Whats ur opinion on the whole saga of the pro lifer ? Not really about her really, but I really like the way u break down arguments, so if u ever feel like it, I would love to read ur take <3 although I totally understand if the whole thing is too exhausting. Have a nice day!

well, I never followed her, so it didn’t really matter much to me that she “revealed” herself to be pro life. I do find the amount of reaction I saw on my dash to be exhausting personally, and I didn’t read most of it. Which isn’t to say people shouldn’t respond, just that it was a lot for what ended up being a 19 year old having an identity switch up. Sounds very probable to me.

When it comes to abortion arguments, if you search my blog for abortion I’m sure you’ll find a ton. Briefly, I am 100% of the belief that abortion should be easily available and without condition from a legal sense, and from a moral sense I see abortion as an amoral issue. That doesn’t mean people don’t make moral choices around abortion, I just don’t think abortion itself is necessarily a moral choice and it’s most certainly never an immoral choice. This is of course abortions a woman is choosing freely, being forced to have an abortion against your will is also an affront to female autonomy.

Whether the gestating baby is living or soul’ed or precious is irrelevant to me as a feminist. To argue that the mother cannot make this choice is to argue that a woman must remain pregnant and must give birth. Why should that be the case? She is not the cause of her own pregnancy, a man is. Men feel entitled to freely ejaculate inside women despite the fact that it is not a requirement of sex, even heterosexual sex, so it is his choice. Even if a woman begged him to do this, he could still say no. He could wear a condom, ejaculate elsewhere, not ejaculate, refuse vaginal intercourse, perform plenty of other sexual acts with her, etc. so ultimately it is a man’s free will and choices that cause pregnancy, so why should a woman be forced to experience pregnancy because of that? If a man is so concerned about the soul of a baby, he would ejaculate responsibly. If abortion was so inconceivable to him because of his morals, it would be his most serious virtue. But men do it anyway, so why should women feel cowed by the morals of a man who will ejaculate freely?

As for Marcy's name translating to god of war, for some reason my brain always sorta associated it hinting how war started in amphibia, one that did (unintentionally) forge through Marcy's hands via Andrias

Ok, rant time since it's like my first ask which isn't about reblog games or some support scam:

All Calamity Girls represent each race they were sent to in their entirety. All the wars, invasions, and conflicts started with newts. Down from Valeriana and her order creating the Calamity Box that would be later used to conquer the other worlds which would be directly under the command of the Newt dynasty Andrias belonged to (all 3 races contributed though, much like all 3 girls came together to waste their lives together, and sure Sasha was the ultimate control freak, but it was Marcy who "always had a plan" according to Sash and both Sasha and Marcy bonded over pragmatic understanding that Anne is too "nice" (granted it's usually Sasha perceived as mean, Marcy as nice and Anne as in-between, it's more so about Anne being moral to Sasha's immoral and Marcy's amoral), and how she should go along with their schemes like them throwing dance parties + Marcy also always inviting Sash and Anne to do stuff with her even if they weren't interested). And of course the aftermath of Leif's betrayal in which Andrias started Amphibia's racism and used newts specifically to uphold such a system by making them in charge and most privileged, and then leading another invasion on Earth which was basically a war to end all wars.

Because as I said, Marcy represents the newts, she also kickstarts all the conflicts in the show. She got all 3 of them stuck in Amphibia, which finally made Anne confront Sasha, all of their misadventures, and finally enabled Andrias to lead the invasion to Earth by supporting him. And we shall also not forget about Darcy, who while not the same person as Marcy, is still part of her character. Darcy's color scheme also matches the planet Mars which is where the part of "God of War" in Marcy's name comes from, whereas Marcy's normal color scheme represents the Planet Earth, ironic considering she was the least eager to come back to Earth. Darcy of course was the ultimate Mastermind behind the invasion and the tradition of starting wars. Darcy was one of the final bosses of Amphibia to defeat, the one representing the ultimate consequences of how far the toxicity of all 3 girls could've gone.

So yeah, personality-wise Marcy may not seem like she would suit her name, heck people probably would think she should be more like Athena. However without doubt the name of Marcy Regina Wu fits her actual role in the story, even if it wasn't exactly her willing choice. Though it's not like she doesn't have it in her, I mean she is a gamer who always slays-

Just in case you haven't noticed I just love how the entire trio was crafted, they're such perfect characters ong-

wot deeper dive 2x1: a taste of solitude

Today is all about 2x1 for me! I am going to go scene by scene, talk up some thoughts about where we're starting with all our lovely characters in this first episode of season 2.

This specific post I am going to avoid any spoilers from the books! I will be doing another post later today that includes those spoilers and related thoughts.

Our first scene is the meeting that Our Friend From the Eye is having with his buddies, which I've talked about before since it was one of the released teasers but I really do love how it sets up some themes that I'm sure we'll follow over the course of the season -- what is evil? How can you tell if something or someone is evil? I really get the vibe that we're going to do a deep interrogation of Why People Become Darkfriends and I am here for it. I love him setting up his own philosophical view on the world here.

What the Man is arguing here is essentially that the Trollocs (and, by extension, the Shadow) aren't immoral but are amoral instead. "Hungry" rather than "malicious".

2. I do mourn the loss of our lovely little title sequence. I guess they wanted to squeeze every last possible second that they could for content!

3. I love the sort of bait-and-switch here where Moiraine is working her ass off... in order to fill a bath for herself. But this whole sequence is so touching and heartbreaking. When she tries to heat the water but fails to reach the Source. Heartbreaking! And when she's all alone, you can really see how she's despairing over her situation and her helplessness. She can't hold in her tears when she's alone.

4. And Lan is feeling his own sense of despair here. Equally heartbreaking. Going from a feeling so deeply connected to someone to them just being gone, and not as a temporary thing but, as far as you know, a forever thing.

5. Verin and Adeleas (and Tomas) are a fun set of characters. I just found their entire setup very charming and I enjoyed everything with them. Poor Adeleas is so thirsty though, lol.

6. It really is hard to see Moiraine staying at such an emotional distance from Lan! She didn't even look at him.

7. Egwene's Journey Through The White Tower did a good job setting the new expectations for her current situation and her role here as a novice -- cleaning the Amrylin's room, enjoying the view, the little bow she gives Leane, trying not to watch Alanna having fun with Maksim and Ihvon, passing by the Warder sparring area, and ending in the kitchens. We learn here that the Amrylin is off traveling. Hmm. I wonder where she went (I mean, it's likely an excuse to not have the actress for this set of episode -- I'm guessing we'll only get Sophie for one episode, maybe two, for this season).

8. Nynaeve telling Egwene to stop smiling over doing her chores, lol. I don't think we get a 'time-stamp' yet in this part -- I think it's Perrin who first lets us know how long it's been since they parted at Fal Dara. I'm guessing that they didn't leave Fal Dara right away and needed to take time to recover before heading to Tar Valon -- I even wonder if maybe Perrin & co actually traveled with Nynaeve and Egwene to Tar Valon as an escort? Because they all celebrate Bel Tine later in this episode, so it's been one year since 1x1, but Perrin notes that he's been hunting the Horn with the boys for "five months". This would also mean that Loial could have gotten some Aes Sedai healing at the Tower. I don't think that the show will go back and address it because we are barreling forward but... things that make me go 'hmm'.

9. Nynaeve is SO ANNOYED and feels so bait-and-switched by Siuan's promises, lol. "I have enough character". Amazing, perfect, no notes.

10. I love so much how Alanna's lesson is folded into the chores! She's teaching them but also showing them useful things (purifying water is a VERY useful skill!) while also giving them an incentive to get better as quickly as possible lol. Alanna as the Charming Green is such an interesting contrast to Liandrin the Bitter Red, especially since they're both getting explored as full, rich characters.

11. Egwene takes lessons wherever she can find them -- here, we see her avoiding using her hands because she doesn't want to be helpless if someone ties her hands up again, like Valda did. Ah, we do get the "five months" timestamp here too -- five months "in this Tower", so that's not including the travel time it took to get there. That matches what Perrin is saying, so I feel like there is an implication there that Perrin & co escorted Egwene & Nynaeve to the Tower. Five months is a long time for Nynaeve to have completely failed to channel again despite being surrounded by teachers, so I understand why she's so frustrated.

12. Nynaeve drinking the glass of filthy water is just so disgusting but also perfect. And Alanna just going ??? what is wrong with that girl???

13. So... holy shit, a novice died under Liandrin's teachings. Wild that she was given permission to 'talk' to Nynaeve. I'm with Alanna on that, 100%. Liandrin should not have been allowed anywhere near Nynaeve.

14. Liandrin gives us some world updates: Hunt for the Horn declared in Illian; Trollocs raiding Arafel; and a new false Dragon is Saldaea. Thank you for the world info update, Liandrin! I appreciate it!

15. Perrin writing letters to his friends really gets to me. It makes me very emotional. I love that sense of connection getting to still be present. And Perrin has been writing them regular letters!! And Perrin is also writing letters home and asking if Mat has found his way back!!

16. Oh, hello, Mysterious Golden-eyed Tracker. Nice to meet you, Elyas.

And the way they're doing everything with Perrin is interesting. I feel like given the audience something to experience is important, rather than it being Perrin narrating what he sees/smells, especially since he hasn't talked about any of what he's been going through with anyone on-screen, really.

17. Padan Fain killing a young woman and helping slaughter an entire caravan of people who follow the path of non-violence. What was that about not being able to tell if someone's actions are evil or not, Man from The Eye of the World?

18. One of the children escaped, and one of the Tuatha'an dogs killed one of the Darkfriend soldiers protecting the young girl's escape but died protecting her.

19. Moiraine is very successfully sneaky here with Doman, making him believe she's after one thing but getting him to haggle down on the thing that she's truly interested in. And I think she realizes that Doman has something real because of his mention that he's being followed and then the whole, you know, "Old Tongue written in blood" thing. She plays him good. But then when she realizes how much danger he might be in, she gives him another ten marks to help him out.

Lan's thoughts on the bond are very poetic. I love him getting to talk these things over with another Warder. And Lan is very aware that Moiraine is trying to push him away and is determined not to let her freeze him out, but it's hard!

20. Nynaeve finding so much more comradery with the Warders than with the Aes Sedai (but then also that moment when she insults Alanna and they make it clear that she's gone too far). We also get a bit of a look into the Alanna-Maksim-Ihvon poly dynamics. Nynaeve does try to reach out to Egwene but Egwene is never in her room!

21. It is so funny that Alanna thought that Egwene came to her for advice on poly relationships. Egwene trying to mirror Alanna with how she leans against the cushions: also hilarious. (who does Alanna think that Egwene is having sex with, I gotta wonder, lol) Poor Egwene. Once Alanna realizes what Egwene is actually asking, though, she gives her some solid advice.

22. Nynaeve practicing Alanna's lesson on her own because she DOES want to learn but she doesn't want to fail in front of other people. And Liandrin's entire scene with her was so well done but also: wow, yikes ouch. Nynaeve's reaction to being shielded by Liandrin (getting teary; looking at her hands afterwards) reminds me of Moiraine's reaction to what happened to her at the Eye. Liandrin is also really good at getting under people's skins. Hearing the official Red policy on Warders is really a sad way to look at things, but does explain a lot (but she's also trying to get Nynaeve to react). "You saw that weave only once but you were able to copy it" - Nynaeve's a quick learner, when she can touch the Power. Such an intense scene!

23. Really liked the funeral scene. Elyas buries the brave dog who protected the little girl. Ingtar and Perrin talk about Darkfriends and revenge and grace. "All men deserve a proper burial". Perrin talking about being worried that the rage will overwhelm him (which is directly what led to him accidentally killing his wife in the premiere). "Anger won't bring my men back." But Perrin can't stop thinking about how open and warm his people were to Fain, and then Fain betrayed them all (with a smile!).

24. Lan telling Moiraine not to smile at him while they're in a terrible situation like this, and she's pushing him away. Getting two flashbacks from that -- a. Nynaeve telling Egwene not to smile about doing her chores earlier in this episode and b. Siuan telling Moiraine not to smile back in episode 1x6. This does hurt and I think it hurts Lan that he knows what she's doing, trying to drive him away, and it's still working anyway because he doesn't feel that intimate connection that they've shared for the last twenty years.

25. Us getting that lovely moment of Perrin writing the letter, and Egwene and Nynaeve receiving it, and Rand all on his own, thinking of his friends, and then poor Mat, getting tormented by Liandrin by her only reading part of the letter, making him believe that his friends don't care about him anymore. The way Egwene and Nynaeve are able to connect for a moment, and how all five of them are thinking about each other on Bel Tine (which tells us that it's officially been a year since 1x1). Perrin is a wonderful correspondent, with a very nice way with words.

26. "A dozen letters now, and not a single mention of Mat Cauthon." Liandrin is very very good at knife-twisting. Also, Perrin has sent them a dozen letters in only five months. He is a very faithful correspondent. Ugh, I was immediately gutted by the look on Mat's face. And this is confirmation that Mat has heard that Rand is dead (and from Liandrin, probably the worst person to hear it from!). Ah, we have a "six months" timestamp from Mat here, so it took Egwene & Nynaeve roughly a month or so to get to Tar Valon from Fal Dara, since they've been in the Tower for five months. Ugh, Liandrin has been picking and picking at him for six months. My poor darling. And I bet he's especially emotional over it right now because it's Bel Tine.

27. Mat can't afford a lantern this year either, and he doesn't have any other ways of getting one. Perrin almost says goodbye to Laila here but can't quite do it (that's how I'm interpreting the moment with the ring), which means that this lantern is only for Rand. And Nynaeve and Egwene also put out a lantern for Rand, to say goodbye. Then we see Rand with a lantern, all by himself in a city. We only get this one glimpse of Rand in the whole episode but it's still very emotional.

28. Love the reveal that Mat is secretly trying to work on an escape plan. Great moment to end his little scene here on.

29. Also love Lan getting some Warder therapy from Adeleas, Verin, and Tomas. Also, lol, Adeleas just wants to eat her meal. I love Verin and Adeleas's relationship. This is such a good scene.

30. Apologies to my dearest Moiraine & Lan, but I never have much to say about fight scenes. That scene sure did... fight. Good fighting in that scene. Their hands touching at the end got to me though. I liked getting to see Verin channel Tomas's sword to be on fire. That was pretty cool.

One thing is even if naruto acknowledged itachi's words not bearing everything alone that doesn't matter to Sasuke bc naruto is align with the system, like him also his friends they are blinded by WOF of Konoha, so they can't understand why Sasuke's revolution is important

Sasuke understands that the ninja system and missions based on usage of warfare, spying and proxy wars and WOF created autocratic blind and extreme nationalism like hokage's words are final laws who can change anything on a whim or may not reform anything from past hokage's mistakes as their blind amoral loyalist nationalism refrain them for any reform the best examples are

Hiruzen who did not reform anything for uchiha or Naruto who still teaches children endure and die for the village bc they are your family, child soldiers custom, unnecessary chunin exam ,

so for these reason sasuke can't align himself with these villages bc they have different types of ultra nationalist propaganda like WoF from Konoha, WoR from Iwa etc. where you can't choose different ways of life even if those ways of yours are harmless to the overall village population and you can't follow or advocate your ways bc corrupt and prejudiced and autocratic kage and elders will not let you go against any custom of shinobi as you just have to act and endure like a blind loyal tool without no question according to those kage and elders otherwise you will be executed or marginalized in your respective village even accept being bullied and shunned and hatred from villagers for their war trauma scapegoat like mainly kekegenkai clans and jinchurikii , you have to endure oppression from shinobi system and its shinobi and kage bc enduring for greater good and greater goals means being ninja that lies being align with the village where you can't advocate individual or certain group rights otherwise you will be targeted by corrupt and fascist and nationalist and autocratic people like Onoki, Danzo, Raikage, tobirama, Hiruzen and konoha elders and Suna elders, Kurotsuchi etc. who will do anything to maintain their respective village hegemony many examples in the whole naruto series for such these scenarios and mindsets and principle values for examples:

1.rin dying for greater of the village without relying on kakashi as she is blindly indoctrinated from the childhood even kakashi in the waves arc saying how "we" as shinobi are

2. Itachi being indoctrinated with blind nationalism of WOF which clouded his moral judgement and couldn't help him saying how segregation and confinement to one job were dangerous policy from authority and pure injustice for Uchiha and then daily bad words from villagers, even tho Uchiha also suffered so much from wars and missions and invasions

3. Sakumo hatake's suicide, amegakure and small villages being pillaged, naruto being shunned, jinchuriki practice, zabusa and haku's yuki caln genocide, uchiha clan genocide, iatchi and shisui immoral spying on their own people, neji's father death, hyuga slavery and curse, Madara being ostracized by tobirama from being hokage bc of sharaingan power without given any chance and proof for at least as beginner, child soldiers practice, immoral anbu spying practice, supressing your emotions for missions, glorifying your ancestors as Gods and WOF like propaganda without knowing their bad sides and betraying or opposing and leaving village means death, hokage's words and judgement are constitution no one can oppose, covering uo genocide, grooming and indoctrinated child soldiers in exteme belief of WoF propaganda like itachi, shikimaru, rin, naruto etc. and so on

Sasuke knew most of the people live in this shinobi framework which destined to bring disaster and inhuman and injustice to certain groups of people and individuals and disagreeing to opposition and different views where change and reform can't be possible in the long run as they all are in village circle blinded by this propaganda and shinobi system which is casuing child soldiers practice, jinchuriki practice, various tragedy, bullying, mass killing, genocide, systematic and direct oppression, cycle of hatred among clans, individuals and villages in the shinobi frame work, for the sole reason why Sasuke have to be alone for his revolution bc whole shinobi worlds are blinded by shinobi customs and propaganda in shinobi framework or shinobi system

So to cure the darkness that shinobi system created without time to time reform or fact checking, Sasuke have to be alone bc everyone is blinded by the system and stupid enduring meaning of the shinobi, so revolution is important no bloody it is bc people alrady died bc of this blind nationalist system that created only violence after violence down the line, either you maintain and judge it with impartial executioner like Sasuke or abandons this fascist and stop being ninja,

Being alone is necessary for Sasuke's revolution bc all of the shinobi people are blinded by shinobi village system, even in peace time child soldier still in practice where children still taught in ninja academy about fighting but not history of its dark side, in konoha shinden mirai still glorifies 3rd hokage without knowing his dirty secret and many house women talking about their children being in ninja academy but why chidren needs to go to ninja academy or shinobi missions only adults can go as it is peace time meaning nor kakashi nor naruto did not change a thing still practicing child soldier shinobi custom, bc of this non changing mindset of shinobi from these villages which is why Sasuke has to bear his Revolution alone so he could slowly uprooted it little by little and thus he can completely change the past of this shinobi village system no he will slowly destroy it to the core until shinobi start to live like normal civilian people so past will be totally transformed slowly

For sole reason why sasuke has to bear darkness alone in his revolution as darkness of the village causes proxy and cold wars or genocide or cycle of hatred, personal tragedy, brainwashing people immorally etc. which causes more and great war geopolitically down the line in the shinobi world and why changing the past of the shinobi system is necessary as everyone is blinded by the system

so in easy term sasuke has to do his revolution solely alone to be impartial as everyone is blinded by the system and behaves like blind brainwashed tool where no will understand his point how dangerous they have become under shinobi system and by becoming a darkness that darkness that shinobi system has been using for its villages hegemony and its interest and to destroy the past that current shinobi system has been based upon that caused so many inhuman acts and injustice that made everyone blind and ignorant to the truth and humanity and created paradoxical aspect in its nature and core

"Dear, don't think that a person has so much strength to lead some kind of life and continue to be the same. Even cutting out one's own flaws can be dangerous, you never know which one is the flaw that holds up our entire edifice. I don't know how to explain my soul to you. But what I would like to say is that people are very precious, and that only up to a certain point can they renounce themselves and give themselves over to others and to circumstances. After a person has lost respect for himself itself and towards its own needs - remains a kind of rag. I would have loved to be close to you and tell my experiences and that of others. You would have seen that there are certain moments in which the first duty to be fulfilled is in relation to oneself (. ..) Almost four years have transformed me. From the moment I resigned myself, I lost all liveliness and all interest in things. Have you ever seen how a castrated bull turns into an ox? The same can be said of me. To adapt to the unadaptable, I had to cut my chains. And with this I also cut my strength. I hope you never see me so resigned, because it's almost repulsive. I hope, just at the thought of seeing you and getting back to my life a little - which wasn't wonderful but it was a life - that I am completely transformed. A friend asked me one day: "You were very different, weren't you?". She found me ardent and vibrant, and when she met me she said to herself: either this excessive calm is an attitude or she has changed so much as to appear almost unrecognizable. But I couldn't help but want to show you what can happen to a person who has come to terms with everyone, and who has forgotten that the vital core of a person must be respected. Listen: also respect what is bad in you — don't want to make yourself a perfect person — don't copy any ideal person, copy yourself — that's the only way to live (...) Take that for yourself that belongs to you, and what belongs to you is all that your life demands. It seems like an amoral life. But what is truly immoral is having given up on oneself. I hope to God you believe me."

Clarice Lespector

Watching this video and Fanny Price and Nihal do seem comparable. They are both physically weak and “passive” action-wise. Maybe Nihal’s jealousy and moral misgivings of Bihter and her family can be likened to Fanny’s similar reactions to Mary Crawford. I think there is a comparison to be made.

But of course:

1) Like @literatureismyentirepersonality said, Nihal would rage internally if she were treated as Fanny is treated whereas Fanny doesn’t. In this case their backgrounds are important. Nihal is the spoiled only daughter of a rich family and the absolute center of attention in the household until Bihter’s arrival. Fanny is from a large family and is an oppressed charity case in her relations’ house. Of course Fanny is going to be meeker.

2) Fanny has strong moral convictions and seems to be religious. Nihal isn’t immoral or amoral, she does occasionally feel guilt over her mistakes and does have a sense of propriety, but morality isn’t a huge part of her character and she seems pretty “secular”.

(All characters in Aşk-ı Memnu are “secular” tbh, there are occasional references to “sin”, “praying” and “God” in the book but they don’t seem to refer to a clear-cut religious belief. We know that the characters are Muslim because of their names, their clothing, their customs etc. but we do not know anything about their beliefs).

Note: I have only read the first half of Mansfield Park years ago, so I am no expert admittedly.

@longagoitwastuesday

2.1 Discussion + General Thoughts

Of course, as I've stated, I'm going to be focusing moreso on Ratio for this review. I have a lot of scattered thoughts, so I'm going to do my best to put them in order here.

Future Willow: this shit long as fuck oops. Ventium and Starry this one is for you

It broke my HEART seeing them interact in Dewlight Pavilion, only for Sunday to barrel in and quite literally violate Aventurine's mind like that. my god. I couldn't stop looking at the change in Ratio's body language, going from turning away with his arms crossed to standing at attention, facing the both of them, glaring at Sunday. He was worried. He was so worried.

A lot of the banter between Ratio and Aventurine up until that point definitely did seem, to me, exaggerated. Yes yes, I perhaps have the shipping lens on, but! No doubt they knew they were being watched, and up until that point had to play up their mutual dislike for Sunday to be convinced that they weren't working together. And yet, all the same, they clearly have a very natural flow to their banter, like they've worked together before, like they know each other well, despite what they let other people assume.

The nightingale bickering was amazing

"Perhaps I should offer you the chance to join the Genius Society?" "Really? I thought you'd given up on that already." "I was being sarcastic." the fact that Aventurine knows of this when Ratio himself has never actually spoken of that desire publicly, nor the letdown he had....

"Thanks, Doc! :D" why don't you just kill me why couldn't they have stayed there

"Who's to say I won't sell you out?" he was fucking CHEEKY here because that was literally the plan. RATIO. God DAMMIT

When we get that flashback to Ratio's private conversation with Sunday, I can't help but think about how much he did not actually lie. He did not once lie, nor did he try to convince Sunday that the jade cornerstone was aventurine. He let Sunday believe that himself -- this only reinforces my initial stance that he's not a liar, but just omits the truth when needed. I was really happy to see that.

Sunday attempting to bribe him with information on the Stellaron was disgusting, flat out. My Ratio was not at all tempted by that, rather he was insulted, because in that moment Sunday had equated him to the greedy, brainless members of the Guild and the amoral (and immoral) Genius Society, who he has a deep vendetta against... Ratio, in my interpretation, has morals, has limits, and he flat out tells Sunday that he knows his place and "wouldn't forsake more vital matters for the sake of petty pride." He meant this, and he stood by this. Nothing that Sunday tempted him with would have won him over, and the insinuation that he could was deeply angering to Ratio. It, too, is also a misunderstanding of the person Ratio is, someone who seeks not knowledge above all else, but to spread common sense. Wisdom. Knowledge and wisdom are not the same.

His disgust at Sunday only intensified at the branding from Sunday (why did Acheron call it a Harmony brand why did she call it a brand. like I know why and it is a mental brand but what the fuck. why. he's already been branded ONCE) and that entire.. trial, you could say. While he was already aware of at least some of Aventurine's past, all of that was just cruel. It sickened him to just have to stand there and watch.

Now, to talk about the conversation afterwards, and then go back to their interaction in 2.0 with new eyes... I cannot stop thinking about how Ratio kept breaking character out of concern for Aventurine, going so far as to even prompt Aventurine to remind him of his betrayal, despite that all evidently being an act on both of their ends (I'm very happy Ratio's acting was maintained from 1.6), reminding him to stay in character because they're being watched, but Ratio asks him if he's okay, insists that Aventurine tells him if he can't hold on any longer, gives him that scroll and then promptly... leaves. And I think about how Screwllum comments that he is more like a medical doctor than a scholar, I think about his love of life, I think about "even a life marked by failure is a life worth living," and I think about him repeatedly asking Aventurine what his plan is, and I can't help but feel how upset Ratio was throughout that whole thing, how he was trying to -- not stop Aventurine, but circumvent his decisions, try to think of a more favorable outcome, one with a greater chance of survival... I think about how he probably knows, very very deeply, how much Aventurine wants to die, because he has learned his history, he knows his habits, he witnessed Sunday's cruelty towards him, and every bone in his body stands against it but he respects Aventurine enough to not force his hand. He trusts Aventurine -- that thing that was brought so prominently into question between them just in 2.0 -- to make his own decisions and come out the other side, enough to follow his planless plan, enough to hold Aventurine's life in his hands and then let him go.

And then thinking back to 2.0, with how antsy he was, and Aventurine questioning why he looked so unhappy, and I realize now that he was already upset because -- no doubt he knew Aventurine had already smashed the stone as a contingency, so it's possible his anger at the bags being confiscated were at least in part an act, but his unhappiness was not. And perhaps through this lens his "Sigonian thrall" comment can be seen in a different light, not intentionally cruel but literal, in the midst of his distress. He knew from the get go that there was an impossibly small likelihood of Aventurine's survival through this mission, so he spoke out of turn. And I think back to how Ratio just up and walked away twice, and I wonder if that's because he's just too upset, and they both have jobs to do that he cannot falter in so he had to step away to recenter.

I keep thinking about how Ratio couldn't look Aventurine in the eyes in Sunday's conference room, and while that was certainly an act, one must wonder -- a doctor, escorting a companion to his doom. Walking him to his execution, rather than saving him. Closing that door, rather than opening a path. I really think he couldn't meet Aventurine's eyes in that moment. There was nothing he could do. Who wouldn't be upset about that, especially someone as compassionate as Ratio? So... he gives him a parting gift. That scroll, with the answer to the Watchmaker's riddle, and a simple plea: Continue living.

It's here that I'd like to state that I prefer the original version to the English translation for my interpretation, because the translation isn't wrong but it does lack some of the profundity of the original. "Do stay alive" feels... impersonal. The way I read the English was that Ratio is asking him to survive this matter, but in the original, what he says is a request for Aventurine to live from now into the future, not just for this matter. He knows it's ultimately a choice that Aventurine will have to make alone, and he can only hope that Aventurine chooses to live... I think it's especially painful knowing that he was very well considering walking into death until Acheron reminds him of what's in his pocket, that there's someone waiting for his return. But you know what they say: if you love someone, let them go.

While I know Andrew is not perfect, a lot of people are swinging the other pendulum and acting like he's just as evil as Ashley if not more and the real abusive one of the situation or outright downplaying any nice trait he has (or any justified reason for why he acts the way he does)

Like, even if avoiding the consequences of his actions is a primary motivator, he really did feel bad about Killing her as well as Ashley's nonchalant reaction to it and the fact she used Nina's death to blackmail him, most of the venomous words for her are because said death and what she forced him into (which likely carries to how he treats her in high modern day)

Also the fact he knows what guilt w

I've been marinating in TCOAAL analyses, and the takes on both characters are fascinating.

My take is that Ashley is immoral, while Andrew is amoral. There is a difference between the two. The conflict comes from the fact that Andrew is aware of this, he's aware that it's "wrong", and tries very hard to be Ashley's moral compass to compensate. Ashley, ever since she was a kid, was made painfully aware that there was something "wrong" with her, no one except her brother loved her (and even then, who said that he wasn't pretending?), and her reaction was to embrace it.

(I'd really love to talk about their childhood, how Leyley displays behavior that she could have only learned from others, how they seem to have learned the lesson that "bad children don't deserve love" and how they cope with it)

The crux of the matter seems to be... did Andy really feel bad about Nina, or was his primary concern going to jail and being separated from Leyley? Is the trauma that stemmed from the incident from the feeling of guilt and remorse, or because that was the point where he became his sister's plaything and could not escape from her anymore? This seems, from what I've seen, what split the fans.

Rewatching the scene, Andy's first coherent dialogue is all about how the situation looks. "Why would have she clawed the lid if she was there willingly?" "She'll start to rot" "They're gonna know!". This once again hints at how Andy's first concern is "can this be traced back to us?". But to be fair, Leyley was the one who first said "you took off the stick, so it looks like she went there willingly", so he's responding to her.

But then he says "they'll throw me in prison for the rest of my life!" Which is very. Mh :)

Interpretation 1: Andy is being as self-centered as kids are prone to be. Nothing more to look into.

Interpretation 2: Andy only cares about himself and the consequences he's going to suffer. His sister's fate is up in the air. Lowkey implies that Andy didn't care much about her before this mess happened.

Interpretation 3: he genuinely thinks he's the main culprit of this incident. I want to add that this line happens before Leyley starts to hammer into his head that now he's bad and no one will love him anymore :) this would imply that Andy felt actual guilt.

There is probably not a concrete answer as of now. I hope episode 3 has more flashbacks because man they are so fascinating.

Anyway, to get back to the point. Andrew is not "evil". Andrew is a profoundly damaged person who was forced to become the everything of his even more damaged sister. Ashley is the "criminal mind", as it were... but to me, it looks like Andrew is on the same wavelength - remember, Ashley mused to herself that the dead neighbour was "a lot of meat", but Andrew, after the initial shock, immediately started to consider the implicit proposal of eating him. While Ashley wears her heart on her sleeve, is painfully honest, and couldn't care less about what anyone (except her bro) thinks of her anymore, Andrew is profoundly in denial about his own "abnormal" thoughts, and the difference between Decay and Burial is how he decides to accept himself.

Does that make him a better person? Well, he seems to be able to fit in more, at least. He's charming and can seemingly attract girls very easily, much to Ashley's chagrin. Maybe, without Ashley, he'd be able to live a normal life without crimes and all. But again, to me it looks like he lacks a moral compass in general, even though he has a strong sense of guilt and responsibility (which to me stems from being Leyley's sole caretaker since a tender age).

As to him being an abuser... well, he does threaten to slap and backhand Ashley a few times. She even calls him "wifebeater" at one point. Not enough to call him an abuser, but the threat of him becoming physical is always there. He's more than capable of subduing Ashley, when he wants to. Ashley's abuse is much more overt and constant, with her manipulation and guilttrips (and she got physical at least once too), but Andrew calmly choking Ashley and making her make a case for her life... has some implications.

I don't think I'm making sense lol. TCOAAL is a fascinating game that hides all sorts of moral questions underneath its over-the-top tone, and I love it.

Dahlia Damutamu

Image © Fur Affinity user slushy.

[I've been statting up a fair amount of my own OCs as characters for Monster Girl Summer, as well as a few belonging to other folks I've become friends with over the course of my time running the Codex. This is the latter, being an OC belonging to @arachcobra. They sponsored me covering some of the Crimson Court, after all, so what better way to expand on that than a mosquito anthro with a rocket launcher?

BTW, if you're interested in Arachcobra's world building and characters, they've started a side blog for their original writing @weavercobra. ]

Dahlia Damutamu CR 13 CN Aberration This creature appears to be a humanoid mosquito, with a needle-sharp proboscis and clawed hands. Her carapace is black, and her swollen abdomen and the veins in her wings are a lurid red. She wears tight fitting leather armor, and has daggers hanging from her belt.

Dahlia Damutamu is an inhuman hedonist, always looking for her next thrill. She is amoral rather than immoral, having grown out of the petty evil that characterizes most of her fellow crimson courtiers, but still primarily concerned with filling her belly and entertaining herself. Although her heroic deeds have saved lives and averted catastrophes, Dahlia was more motivated by the challenge than by any thoughts of helping others. Only if the people she cares about are threatened will she do anything remotely selfless.

In her centuries of existence, Dahlia feels that her mind has gone a bit stale. She is an avid reader, and has quite the collection of rare books, but is more inclined these days to read old favorites rather than learning anything new. This frustrates her as much as anything, and pushing herself out of her comfort zones is Dahlia’s primary goal. She is, however, flighty and scatterbrained, especially once blood has been spilled—the smell of her favorite food drives her to distraction and violence.

In combat, Dahlia fights with a mixture of her natural weapons and enchanted daggers. She is an excellent marksman, and her favorite strategy is to weaken foes with thrown daggers before closing in to feed. The more blood she drinks, the more durable Dahlia grows, and most combats end with her swollen and her foe dead and desiccated. One of Dahlia’s newest toys is a rocket launcher, stolen from a Technic League wizard she killed and ate; she isn’t proficient in heavy weaponry but still enjoys and uses its explosive firepower.

Dahlia Damutamu CR 13 XP 25,600 Variant crimson courtier fighter 9 (Calistrian hunter) Init +6; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +9, scent Defense AC 24, touch 17, flat-footed 17 (+6 Dex, +1 dodge, +2 natural, +5 armor) hp 118 (5d8+9d10+42) Fort +11, Ref +11, Will +7 Immune disease Defensive Abilities darting riposte (6/day) Offense Speed 30 ft., fly 50 ft. (good) Melee +1 dagger +20/+15/+10 (1d4+8/17-20), +1 claw +14 (1d8+3), +1 bite +14 (1d6+3 plus bleed and sip blood) or 2 +1 claws +19 (1d8+6), +1 bite +18 (1d6+6 plus bleed plus sip blood) Ranged +1 daggers +20/+15 (1d4+8/17-20), dagger +9 (1d4+7/17-20) or +1 daggers +18/+18 (1d4+8/17-20) and daggers +12/+7 (1d4+7/17-20) or rocket launcher +14 touch (12d6) Special Attacks bleed (1), powerful charge (claw, 2d8+7), vengeance (1d6) Statistics Str 20, Dex 22, Con 16, Int 15, Wis 8, Cha 16 Base Atk +12; CMB +17; CMD 34 Feats Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Exotic Weapon Proficiency (firearms) (B), Flyby Attack, Improved Critical (dagger), Mobility, Point Blank Shot, Precise Shot, Quick Draw, Rapid Shot, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus (dagger), Weapon Specialization (dagger) Skills Acrobatics +16, Bluff +10, Diplomacy +10 (+12 gathering information), Disguise +10, Fly +20, Knowledge (local) +12, Knowledge (nobility) +12, Perception +9, Sense Motive +4, Stealth +22, Survival +9 (+11 following tracks) Languages Aquan, Common, Necril SQ armor training 2, crimson noble, savor the sting, tenacious tracker +2 Gear +1 dagger (x2), blinkback belt, +2 studded leather armor, cloak of resistance +1, amulet of mighty fists +1, potion of cure serious wounds, potion of cat’s grace (x2), rocket launcher (5 charges), 4 daggers, 473 gp Special Abilities Crimson Noble (Ex) As an ancient and practiced crimson courtier, Dahlia does not have the humanoid form weakness of an ordinary crimson courtier; she can make claw attacks and weapon attacks without changing form, although she does only have two legs and a 30 foot movement speed on land. Dahlia has wings, unlike a typical crimson courtier, granting her a fly speed of 50 feet with good maneuverability. She also gains a +2 racial bonus on all ability scores. This ability increases her CR by +1. Darting Riposte (Ex) As an immediate action, Dahlia may attempt to make a melee attack against a creature that makes a melee attack against it. If she hits, it can move up to half its speed without provoking an attack of opportunity, although the attack made against it resolves as normal. A crimson courtier may use this ability a number of times a day equal to its Dexterity modifier (3/day for the average specimen, 6/day for Dahlia) Savor the Sting (Ex): Whenever a target takes bleed damage from Dahlia’s vengeance ability, she gains an equal number of temporary hit points. These temporary hit points last for 1 minute and do not stack with each other. Sip Blood (Su) Whenever Dahlia deals damage to a living creature with its bite attack, she gains 5 temporary hit points. These hit points are lost in 1 hour if not expended. Tenacious Tracker (Ex): Dahlia gains a +2 bonus on Diplomacy checks to gather information and on Survival checks made to identify or follow tracks. Vengeance (Ex): Dahlia deals 1d6 points of bleed damage when he damages a creature that has damaged him since the beginning of his last turn. Whenever a creature takes bleed damage from this effect, it also takes a –1 penalty on attack rolls, weapon damage rolls, saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks for 1 round. This penalty is a pain effect and does not stack with the effects of the sickened condition.

Laurie´s dad: A character´s study (1/2)

I've alway been curious about who Laurie's father was; so in my rereading of the TC novel I´ve tried to pick some data and meditations  in order to give some light on the character.

We know Laurie´s father is called Michael, (Michael Odell, I presume)

He is a journalist or a newspaperman (which I find fascinating).

He travels a lot (apparently) or spends most of his time away from home:  “He was often away, covering things”  and he talks French, fluency : “Tais-toi; voici l´enfant” ( it could be told by the mom, but i prefer to think is from the father because of his job)

His child pictures him as sort of a companion in mischief  because  both of them get in problems and make Laurie's mom mad: "They were too often in trouble together, for making a mess without cleaning up, or being late home from their joint expeditions.” That point makes Laurie see his father as an equal, and loves him for that.

Michael cares for his son, too: He gives him a gold cap from a broken fountain pen and takes him on long walks. He is not a neglected father.

However, he is not on good terms with his wife, Laurie´s mom. Both of them have had disagreements and now, daddy doesn't share the same room with mommy anymore: “He sat up in bed, but feet passed, and when he called it was too late; they have gone on the door of what had in the last few days become Daddy´s Room.”

We don't know what exactly Laurie´s father did, but in agreement with five years old Laurie's thoughts it was something wicked: “During his approaches and retreats he had heard snatches of the conversations his presence had interrupted. He knew that his father had done something wicked while he was away from home.” Where wicked is attached to the words: ill, evil, bad, immoral, amoral, unprincipled, depraved, dissolute, degenerate. (American edition thesaurus). This will be the first time Laurie associate Love with right and good.

The wicked thing Michael did to lose his wife's confidence was to have an illicit affair. (This point is confirmed in chapter three for Laurie himself "You know, my father wasn't faithful to my mother. She minded a lot at the time, but she is all right now." )

Because of that, there's a sense of guilt in Michael when accepts the mother's complaint of trying to influence their child's feelings “Michael!” she said quietly. “Oh, how could you?” (Also, there is some selfishness in the mom´s behavior due to she is sure he is leaving home)

Later, a teen Laurie will tell us the official version of his father's leaving:  “He had been too young when his father went to fear economic changes; and in fact there had been none.” And that version is, of course, the mom's version “Laurie knew his mother's side of the story so well that on the thinking surface of his mind it was only one.” 

The memento of his father has faded away from Laurie's memories; but will see it still alive somehow around his infatuation for a senior student in school and his abrupt departure. (We could find some similitudes between Michael and Ralph's descriptions: " His father drew his thick dark brows together; his eyes glancing at his wristwatch looked narrow and blue." and for Ralph: "He was slight and lean, with dusty-fair hair and eyes of a striking light blue which were narrowed by the structure of the orbit above, giving him a searching look even when he smiled." )

(it will continue...)

Daily Mirror News Room 1920

Reporter (Movie: Feel my pulse- 1928)

Men fashion in 1920

Though women were still occasionally accused of witchcraft, and persecuted, in Regency England and though the range of legal punishments for women still included whipping and burning at the stake, a gentler ethos had begun to prevail. Women, it was felt, required protection, both the physical protection of fathers, brothers and husbands and protection on the part of society from the defilements of worldliness. The older generation of aristocratic women notorious for their sophisticated amorality was dying out. Byron's confidante Lady Melbourne died in 1816, Lady Bessborough was aging. Women such as these, with their convenient but passionless marriages, their lovers and illegitimate children, their public roles as cultivated hostesses and political patronesses were gradually disappearing. In their place were women who, though they might not always adhere to it, subscribed to a far more confining moral code and had no public roles to speak of.

"Lady Holland once told me," Lady Bessborough wrote to Lord Granville, "all women of a certain age and in a situation to achieve it should take to politics - to leading and influencing." That advice had been offered decades earlier. By 1813, the number of prominent women exerting political influence was exceedingly small. Decorous patriotism was replacing partisan intrigue. A ladies' subscription was organized to pay for a monument to Wellington, "to be formed of the cannon taken by the duke in various engagements," the subscription to be sponsored by the Duchess of York. Raising funds to commission war memorials, to rescue soldiers' widows and children from destitution, or to aid the Waterloo wounded, were permissible activities for women. Yet even in undertaking charitable endeavors they ran into opposition. Wilberforce would not accept help from any women in his antislavery campaign, insisting that such work was "unsuited to the female characters as delineated in Scripture."

Opposition to slavery was scripturally sound; what was unsuitable was the appearance, in women active in the arena of the world, of immodesty. St. Paul had defined the female character in the New Testament, and anyone who might have forgotten what he wrote there had only to read Hannah More's study of his doctrine published in 1815. Women, St. Paul taught, ought to "adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array." They ought to keep silence, "for it is not permitted unto them to speak," lest they usurp men's authority. "Let the women learn in silence with all subjection," he cautioned. Let them learn from men, their divinely ordained superiors, whose primacy had been established beyond question at the time of creation. Adam was virtuous, Eve sinful; women suffered from an inherent weakness and sinfulness, and so ought to try to redeem their deficiency through living modest, quiet, passive lives "in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety."

More herself, of course, breached St. Paul's precepts by usurping male authority and immodestly presuming to teach others. But at least she refused membership in the Royal Society of Literature, saying it would be inappropriate for a woman to belong, and her prefaces were full of shamefaced apologies for her presumption in writing.

Female morality went hand in hand with religious piety, and immoral women, the Evangelists taught, deserved punishments that were akin to penance. Among those Wilberforce condemned as immoral were divorcées, many of whom sought freedom from their husbands in order to marry their lovers. (Divorce was a relatively rare phenomenon, and limited to the aristocracy, since a special act of Parliament was necessary to institute it.) His Proclamation Society made strenuous efforts to pass a bill in the House of Lords making a divorced woman guilty of a crime if she married her co-respondent. The bill passed the Lords, but not the Commons. Still, divorced women bore a weightier stigma in the Regency than they had a generation earlier, and many Evangelicals thought that a divorcée ought to shut herself away from society and devote the rest of her life to repentance.

If divorcées were expected to immure themselves like anchoresses, women conspicuous for their virtue were all but deified. That a morally weak woman should triumph over her infirmities was thought to be a near miraculous achievement, especially in an age when wickedness was on the rise. Byron recorded with amusement how his friend Wedderburn Webster talked on and on about his wife's good qualities, ending his harangue by asserting that "in all moral and mortal qualities," she was "very like Christ." (The poet had reason to doubt Webster's judgment of his wife, for she had made an un-Christlike proposition to him.)

Webster was deceived, but in seeing his wife in beatific terms he was not unique. Men spoke of the women they respected as superhuman, angelic beings, pure and untainted, uncorrupted by any stain of vice. And once they became accustomed to seeing them that way, it was only natural for men to want to keep them pure by screening them off from contamination. Hence the bowdlerization of the classics, the sanitizing of fairy tales, the increasing segregation of women from worldly pastimes. Card playing, which had been the usual evening entertainment, was abandoned and piano playing and singing took its place. Women began to make a point of leaving the room when the men made jokes, even innocent ones. They toned down their dress; the more serious-minded of them put aside their jewels and wore diamond or amethyst crosses. More and more the lives of women were becoming closed in by a narrowing circle of propriety. They were defined as either well-bred or ill-bred, pious or impious, pure or impure. There was no middle ground, at least in theory, and only by strenuous efforts at self-improvement could they attain the propriety, purity and piety that mad them truly worthy.

Carolly Erickson, Our Tempestuous Day: A History of Regency England

[ Timothy Olyphant, 53, cismale, he/him ] Welcome to Antioch, GIMOTHY GRANT BLUME! Local sources report that you’ve been in town for 30 SOME ODD YEARS and are known to be SOCIABLE yet IMMORAL. Others have dredged up rumors that you’re involved in THE VAMPIRE OF ANTIOCH as BLUME DADDY, but most know you for your work as THE OWNER/OPERATOR at LOVE BOUTIQUE. We’ll see you around town soon!

Character Name: Gimothy Grant Blume Nickname (s): Giminy (Started by baby Annabelle when she couldn't say his Gimothy), Gum ball, Gim, etc. Give him all the nicknames and I'll update this Face Claim: Timothy Olyphant Birthday: August 18 May 7th, because now he was conceived at Woodstock Place of birth: Georgia, America Zodiac: Leo Taurus MBTI: ESTJ, the Executive Moral Alignment: Lawful neutral Occupation: Business owner/Professor Place of work: Love Boutique (Teacher at Antioch University) Subplot affiliation: The Vampire of Antioch 3 positive traits: Decisive, determined, diligent 3 negative traits: Amoral, calculating, irreverent Languages: English Love language: Quality Time Biography (optional):

His father a drunk and his mother a runaway, the pair had an illicit courtship that crossed the country, the pair of them running away from Antioch to be together. They traveled around between bars, tourist traps, and music festivals, with his mother Delilah winding up pregnant after a hazy few days at Woodstock. He wasn't the only musical baby from that, she would tell him with a laugh. There wasn't much laughing when Gim got older. By the time he was a teenager, his mama mostly laughed when she was out of her mind on her latest fix. The drugs weren't easy to kick. In fact, Delilah got into them further and further and one day she disappeared entirely. His father Josiah tried to find her, and ended up killing a man trying to find information. The law caught up with Josiah and Gimothy was supposed to go into the system since he was a minor. Instead he ran, lying and pretending to be older than he really was to get barely paying jobs that didn't care much about him as long as he did what he was paid to do. He wasn't wandering aimlessly, Gimothy had a goal in mind and that was going back to Antioch. He knew his parents were from there and that he had to have family, that there had to be something waiting for him. He just didn't expect how much family or to be wrapped up in people the way he was. It seemed like everywhere he looked, there was an aunt, an uncle, a cousin. No siblings, but that was fine because all the second degree family was more than enough to be overwhelming to a guy used to only two steady presences in his life. He'd only been in Antioch a handful of years when his girlfriend became pregnant. It was a stupid move to marry her, but he did it anyway, working on making a cute little family with her and their twins were adorable as far as Gim was concerned. Their marriage was another story. The kids were young when the divorce came, but they were old enough. Old enough for school, old enough to ask questions, and that wasn't a pleasant time in Gim's life even if he knew that it was probably better for them in the end. He got married a second time, and then a third, but he still only had the two kids, and they remained his world. Then his world was shattered, and his soul along with it. Years later, and Gim still hasn't learned how to put all the pieces back.

Wanted Connection #1: Someone that thinks they might be his illegitimate kid. Yes, I'm thinking about the Walshes. Wanted Connection #2: A toxic ex because the man has been around since his divorce. Wanted Connection #3: (Former) students of his from the university.

Just watched the “Joan is Awful” episode of Black Mirror and have some (spoiler-y) thoughts:

In "Fifteen Million Merits", the second episode of the entire series, "Black Mirror" grapples with the fact that capitalism can subsume and profit off of critiques of itself. In an incredibly biting and effective moment at the end of the episode, we see one of the bike riders in the dystopian society watching and nodding along to the protagonist's televised rant against the system, whose rage has been reduced to mere opiate for the masses. Bafflingly, "Joan is Awful" presents that televised rant for us, the viewers, without a hint of self-awareness. It is a critique of Netflix, on Netflix, served with a wink and a nudge, giving us permission to safely laugh about - and then quietly accept - all the terrible things that streaming services, "the algorithm", and the corporate drive for engagement and profit have done to us.Also, perhaps more crucially, it's just not a very good episode of television. The premise is a good one: it's "The Truman Show" for the modern era. And the first third of the episode or so is a decent setup for that premise: we go through a typical day in Joan's life, as she commits a few questionable but mundane sins, and then sees those actions amplified for all to see. From there, though, it just kind of goes off the rails. You would think the point of an episode like this would be to explore the consequences of having one's life publicized in this way, to see the reactions of both her close friends and family, as well as strangers who only know her parasocially through a distorted lens. But we only get a little bit of that before it devolves into a cartoonish caper with Salma Hayek, as they team up to destroy the "quamputer", an all-powerful black box of a machine that is responsible for generating the titular show. To reduce the problem of an entire system down to a singular physical machine that can be easily broken into and destroyed is pure nonsense, a child's idea of how the world works, and it turns the episode into a cringy heist that thinks making its characters say celebrity names over and over is the height of comedy. (Seriously, did they have a "Salma Hayek" quota for the script?) The episode gestures at some bigger themes about how we're driven by negative engagement, how machine learning algorithms have become inscrutable even to their creators, how we commodify and exploit people's real lives for our entertainment, and I actually broadly agree with a lot of what it's trying to say. But these themes are mostly left to be stated directly in the dialogue, as the actual plot of the episode does a horrible job of conveying and synthesizing these ideas. To take a look at just one angle of this: the idea that Streamberry can completely invade your privacy and lay your life bare for the world to see is what makes the show so existentially horrifying. But corporations are amoral, not immoral; they don't do bad things just for the sake of it, they just don't care if what they do is good or bad as long as it makes them money. Yet looking at it from a profit-motive perspective, it doesn't make any sense that they would do this. Beyond the novelty of the first few versions of this, are people really going to be interested in watching a bunch of shows about the lives of random people they don't know? The episode itself doesn't even seem to think so, because the CEO of Streamberry later states that the endgame of all this is to create "X is Awful" type shows for everyone. But how can it possibly be cost-effective to generate millions of shows, each tailored for literally one individual and using expensive celebrity likenesses? Wouldn't it just be better to have the AI generate fewer, more broadly appealing shows? The technology in this episode is clearly far ahead of what we currently have, and ChatGPT is already more than capable of coming up with coherent (if incredibly cliche and unimaginative) narratives, so it would not at all be a stretch to imagine that the "quamputer" is capable of churning out endless 6/10 shows for any demographic that they want to capture. But then, that wouldn't fit the episode's message about the invasion of privacy. It reeks of the show deciding what it wants to say and then forcing its story to say it, rather than letting the story organically reveal what it wants to say. I know this is satire, which means it will exaggerate things to make a point. But I think it exaggerates things in a way that make the creators seem ignorant of how the things that they're critiquing actually work. It's ineffective in the way that the whole "incoming asteroid as climate change" metaphor in "Don't Look Up" was ineffective; the metaphor is simply too qualitatively different from the real thing to offer any real insight into the situation. The obligatory twist, which is that everything we've been seeing is actually itself a fictional portrayal of what has been happening in the "real" real world, does do a good job of recontextualizing the episode, and it makes the noticeably cheesier tone and more polished presentation of this episode pretty amusing in retrospect. But it's ultimately a pretty shallow reveal; as we later see confirmed in the post-credits tag of the real Joan shitting in the church, the broad strokes of the plot probably still happened the way that it was portrayed, so all of my critiques about the overall shape of the story still stand. Obviously, I was not expecting this episode to somehow single-handedly Take Down Capitalism through the Power of Art. But I at least expected something like "Fifteen Million Merits" - something a bit smarter, more self-aware, and something which isn't afraid to acknowledge its own limitations, and in doing so perhaps encourage the viewer to genuinely self-reflect - rather than the watered-down, toothless, pacifying "satire" that we got.