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#she didn’t even cry and kept looking at me like I was crazy when I was worrying over her
harmonizewithechoes · 9 months
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Today was such a mixed bag in terms of events that happened (so much happened 😳) but I’m currently riding the high of having found the perfect dress that makes me genuinely feel pretty and happy about my body! The last time that happened was prom 10 years ago with a ridiculous ball gown I’ll never wear again lol but that’s not even the best part! The best part of this perfect dress that will work for all occasions- casual get togethers, weddings, date nights, etc depending on jewelry and outerwear- is that it was found at a thrift store for $5!! Literally could not have been more perfect 🥰 after 3 kids I had kind of resigned myself to never really liking my body again and was focusing on body neutrality. But this dress gave me such a confidence boost! I didn’t even know it was possible.
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sturniolo-simp4life · 21 days
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I hope they look like you- Matt Sturniolo 
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Description- Matt and y/n find out something shocking about their future. 
Warnings- Crying and comforting, a little suggestive during a flashback. Another short and sweet.
Y/n’s morning wasn’t exactly a great start. Her head was pounding and she felt nauseous and sick. Matt was peacefully sleeping beside her. 
Suddenly, she had the urge to puke. She got up and ran to the bathroom, letting out whatever was making her feel this way. 
A few seconds later, matt walked in, holding her hair like a ponytail and rubbing her back softly. “It’s okay pretty girl. Let it out.” 
When she was done, she lifted her head softly, tears threatening to fall. 
“You’re alright,” matt whispered to you. You grabbed your toothbrush and started brushing your teeth.
Usually you didn’t mind the taste of mint, but today it made you sick. 
“Do you need anything?” matt asked. “I’m fine,” you snapped. 
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 
Your mood had been swinging like crazy today. You got mad because the TV wasn’t working, but then you started crying because you couldn’t reach a plate from a cabinet. 
Matt had been worried about you, but you kept saying you were fine. 
“I don’t know why but I've been craving pickles with chocolate frosting recently,” you announced to no one in particular. 
Chris gave you a weird look and nick just looked confused. “Y/n you don’t even like pickles,” nick said.
“I know, but i just want to eat them for some reason,” you said with a shrug. 
You got up and went to the kitchen, hoping to find pickles in the fridge. Matt was sitting on the island table. 
Randomly you started crying. Matt looked up at you and got up, surprised. “Baby what wrong? Why are you crying?”  
“There’s no more pickles,” you sobbed. Matt hugged you, clearly confused. You didn’t even like them, and now you were crying over them? 
“Y/n are you on your period?” You sniffed and pulled out your phone, checking your cycle tracker.
Your eyes widened. You had missed your period by a whole week. 
“I think it’s late by a little.” Matt didn’t think much of it. It was probably just before period symptoms.  
You did not think that. Your eyes widened as it finally clicked. Where you pregnant? 
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 
Matt and his brothers had gone out to film a Wednesday video, leaving you at home.
You decided to walk to the pharmacy that was near your house, picking up 3 pregnancy tests. 
When you got back you were pretty nervous about taking the test. What if you were pregnant? What would matt say? Would he be mad? How did this even happen- 
Wait. Your eyes widen as you remembered.  
You were at an influencer party and passed tipsy. You went up to matt, smashing your lips on his. 
“Matty I need you,” you slurred. Matt just chuckled and looked at you. “Baby you’re wayyy too drunk. And this isn’t even our house.” 
“Pleaseee,” you whined. “It won’t be long I promise,” you whispered seductively into his ear. You felt him stiffen as you started kissing and sucking his neck. 
He grabbed your arm and dragged you towards nick and chris, who were currently talking to some people.  
“Hey y/n isn’t feeling that good. We are just gonna wait in the car until you guys are done.” Nick nodded. “we should be out in about an hour.” 
Matt walked you to the car, pushing both of you into the back seat. “You look so pretty in this dress, but i think you’d look even better without it.” 
He kissed you roughly, biting at your bottom lip. “Wait baby i don’t have protection with me.” 
“It fine just don’t cum inside me.” 
Well it’s safe to say that he didn’t remember. 
Your breathing quickened as you slowly realized- you might be pregnant. Your hands shook as you opened the pregnancy test.  
You nervously waited for the results, biting your nails. After a few minutes, you checked it. Positive.
You let out a shaky breath as feelings overwhelmed you. 2 left to go. 
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 
Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Your eyes filled with tears as you read all 3 results. You were too young to be a mother. Hell- you were only 20! 
You sank to the floor and started crying. No no no no no. This can’t be happening. The bathroom door opened and matt walked inside. 
“Hey baby- y/n? What’s wrong?” he sat on the floor and wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head. 
“I-Im sorry matt. I swear this was never meant to happen i-” “What are you talking about?” he cut you off. 
You pointed to the counter where the pregnancy tests sat. His eyes widened as he looked at them. “Im so sorry this wasn’t meant to happen.” you sobbed 
He looked at you with a big grin on his face. “Im gonna be a dad!” he picked you up and hugged you, shocking you. 
“Your not mad?” you asked. He looked at you. “Of course im not mad. Im so excited. You're going to be such a good mom.” 
“You really think so?” you asked. He smiled and kissed you on the cheek. “I know so.” 
You giggled. “I hope the baby looks like you,” you said and kissed him. 
tags- l34n theyluvme-2315 tillies33ssss maya555sblog alorsxsturn blahbel668 @nyktoxs-lover strnilolo hearteyesformatt
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breeloveschris · 4 months
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If Only You Knew Pt 2
Pt 1 Pt 3
Pairing: Matt Sturniolo x Reader
Summery: Y/n has the biggest crush on Matthew Sturniolo but Matt doesn’t know she exists until Y/n’s video goes viral and everyone tags him in it
Warnings: cussing
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Y/n’s pov:
The next morning I woke up to a pillow hitting my face. I groan pushing it away from my face. “Nia what the fuck” I said turning away from the pillow still not opening my eyes. “Get up, it’s 12 pm” Nia said shaking me. “I’m awake! You don’t gotta shake me damn” I said pushing her away. “Why are you so hard to work with in the morning” she said plopping down on my bed with a sigh. “Why are you even waking me up right now.” I said rubbing my face before opening my eyes and looking at her.
“Because I just got off of work and I’m bored” she said pouting. I side eyed her “girl put your bottom lip away” I said while laughing. “You’re a brat when you wake up” she said laughing. “And you’re a baby when you’re bored” i said with a laugh. She just shook her head laughing. “What do you wanna do today?” Nia said getting up. “I kinda don’t wanna do anything” I said while I stretched before getting out of bed. “We gotta do something” she said looking at me. “How about we film for our YouTube channel” i said shrugging.
We have a shared YouTube account. We post every Saturday and seeing that today is Friday we really need to film. “I’m down, you got any ideas?” Nia asked looking in my closet. I walk over to her, also looking. “What if we do smash, marry, kill” I said pulling out a pair of black leggings. “Okay.. but with who” Nia asked while showing me a cropped grey shirt. I shook my head saying no to the shirt. “We could do other influencers” i said with a smirk. “I like that, also wear that grey crop with the pink shit on it”
“Good thinking, let’s stir some shit up” I said pumping my fist in the air. Nia went to her room to do whatever while I showered and did my makeup. After getting ready I made my way to the living room. I sat on the couch taking a quick picture of me, with the caption “give me three influencers 😋”. I posted it on instagram, while waiting for people to respond I opened tik tok looking at the comments on my recent post. My heart dropped to my toes. He saw it. And he commented. I kept staring at the “Crazy how you barely spoke last night but can post this 😂”.
I replied with “ 🤨 you didn’t see this ✋🏼”. As soon as I pressed reply, Nia walked out of her room. “Nia. Matt saw the video. And he commented!” I said with a red face. “Girl why do you look like you’re gonna cry, you tagged him” Nia said laughing while sitting next to me. “Because I didn’t actually think he’d see it let alone comment” I said with wide eyes. “Maybe he’s in love with you or something, what did he even say” she said laughing. I just sighed “he said “Crazy how you barely spoke last night but can post this 😂” like the audacity that man has” I said shaking my head.
“You can’t even lie, he has a point.” Nia said with a short laugh. “Ugh, I wasn’t even that quiet” I said throwing my head back. “You didn’t barely speak three words to Matt” she said shaking her head pulling her phone out. “Well I was nervous, bro was looking scrumptious” I said letting a giggle out. “You’re so weird. Let’s get the camera out already” Nia said laughing. “Oh shit, I forgot” I said jumping up and running to my room to get my camera. I come back down stairs to see Nia already had the tripod up and was sitting on the couch. I put the camera on the tripod turning the camera on.
I sat down next to Nia, she got off her phone and looked up at the camera. “What’s up hoes and bros, how we doing on this lovely Saturday afternoon” I said letting out a laugh at our intro. “Today we’re playing a game-” Nia started before I interrupted her singing ‘in the end’. Nia covers my mouth with her hand, I pushed it away. “Gross, your hand smells.” I said crossing my arms like a little kid. Nia just laughs and continues. “Today we’re playing a game, you’ve might’ve heard of it.” Nia said smiling while looking at the camera. “Spit it out dummy” I said poking her in the side making her jump away from my finger. “Don’t fucking poke me bitch.” Nia said getting back in place.
“We’re playing fuck, marry, kill” Nia said clapping. “No!” I said yelling, “we’re playing smash, marry, pass” I said rolling my eyes. “Fuck is just crazy and kill is too violent so we changed it up” Nia said with a shrug. I pulled out my phone looking at what all the people said. “Oouu someone said Vinnie Hacker, Colby Brock, and Jake Webber!” I said looking at Nia. “That’s a weird collection of people” Nia said laughing. “But that’s hard” she said sighing. “Wait! No. Someone else said Colby Brock, Johnnie Gilbert, and Jake Webber.” Nia side eyed me and looked at me confused. “Then which one are we doing”.
“The second one, and I wanna go first” I said pushing her and looking up to the camera. “Smash Jake Webber, marry Colby Brock and pass on Johnnie, only because that was the only option.” I said shrugging. “Argue with the wall” I said pointing at Nia. “I was gonna agree but honestly swap Johnnie and Colby.” She said with a shrug. “What? How you gonna do that to my boy Colby” I yelled. Nia laughed and shushed me. “Give me your phone, I wanna pick one.” Nia said reaching for my phone, I gave it to her so she could look.
While she was looking for one. I got up and started singing ‘swim’ by chase Atlantic. Nia kicked me and said “shut up your gonna get us copyrighted”. “I sing nothing like them how would I possibly do that” I said sitting down with a sigh. “I got one!” Nia said, “okay then say it” I said poking her again. “Imma snap your finger in half” she said looking at me. “I’m sorry I’m just so pumped.” I said laughing. “Anyways..” she said looking at the camera then side eyeing me. “Someone said.. I can’t say this without laughing bro” Nia said laughing. “Nia! Just say it!” I said yelling. “Stop yelling.” She said with a straight face.
“Okay so someone said.. Jaden Hossler, Josh Richard’s, and chase Hudson” Nia said finishing off with a laugh. “Girl whoever said that we’re getting married just for the fact you reminded me of that shit” I said with a laugh while punching Nia in the arm. “Ouch, dumb bitch. Ain’t nobody teach you to keep your hands to yourself?” she said rubbing her arm. “Marry Josh, smash Jaden and pass on Chase, chase just gives me the icks” I said shrugging. “Yea no, I’m smashing josh, marrying Chase and passing Jaden, Jaden’s a cheater” she said looking at me.
“Yea that’s why I said smash, no one said we had to be dating” I said with a laugh. “Good point, he’s hot” she said passing me my phone back. I was scrolling for like 30 seconds before gasping. “I knew one of you sneaky little hoes were gonna pick them” I said squinting my eyes at the camera. “Who?” Nia asked looking at me with confusion. “The Sturniolo Triplets” i said with a tight lipped smile. “Oh my god, yay, I love this one.” Nia said clapping and i just laughed shaking my head.
“Marry Chris, Y/n argue with the wall, smash Matt and pass on Nick, only cause you don’t like girls!” She said raising her voice towards the end with a finger raised in the air. I laughed and said “I’m gonna have to disagree completely. I’m gonna marry Nick so we can thrift shop all the time” I stopped and looked at the camera. “Nick please go thrifting with me” and then I continued after Nia and I laughed. “Smash Matt cause look at his fine ass bruh. And pass on Chris cause he just burps way to much” I said with a laugh.
“I thought you wanted to give your left lung to be with Matt” Nia said with a laugh. I literally jumped on top of her yelling shut up over and over again. She just pushed me off and we fell over laughing. “Matt if you see this.. I sincerely apologize for bestfriends lack of words to you the other night, you make her extremely nervous.” Nia said smiling at the camera. “Girl- you’re gonna get the comments rolling with that” I said shaking my head. “Oh yea, when this comes out, look at my instagram and it’ll explain what I just said.” Nia said pointing at the camera.
“Okay enough about the strumbolognas” I said waving my hand in front of the camera. “Here you pick” i said passing the phone to Nia. As she’s scrolling I look at the camera. “You guys are so pretty!” I yelled smiling. “Girl quit yelling, we’re gonna get a noise complaint” Nia said pushing me. “I’m sorry, look at them! You can’t blame me.” I shrugged pointing at the camera. “Okay I got one”. Nia said being quiet. “Okay? Then say it” I said throwing my head back. “Charli Damelio, Dixie Damelio, and Addison Rae.” Nia said with a grin.
I screamed before saying, “okay hear me out.. I like my women older” I continued shrugging. “So I’d say marry Dixie, smash Addison and pass on charli cause she’s the youngest” I said pointing at Nia. “Do you agree?” I asked. “Honestly I do” she said with a laugh. “Also you need to calm down, you been talking way too much.” Nia said shaking her head while looking for another one. “It’s a YouTube video Nia, one of us gotta entertain them. And since you’re being quiet, I gotta do it.” I said crossing my arms. “Girl I’m only quiet cause you talk so damn much” Nia said once again shaking her head.
I looked at the camera then back to Nia before slowly turning back to the camera. “Do y’all hear this? I’m getting bullied” I said pouting. “Okay Matt” Nia said with a raised eyebrow. “Aye dont come for my babydoll” I said poking her. “Watch the fingers Y/n” Nia said firmly. “Aw I’m so scared” I said putting my hands up in surrender. “I got one!” Nia said throwing my phone on the couch. “Okay guys. This one’s kinda crazy.. Johnny Orlando, Carson Lueders, and Asher angel.” She said with a shrug. “Marry Johnny, smash Carson, pass on Asher” I said shrugging “no ifs and buts about it, just how it goes” I finished.
Surprisingly Nia agreed. I was looking for another one when Nia gasped beside me. I turned to look at her to figure out why the fuck she was gasping. “What?” I said annoyed that she didn’t just tell me. “Lose the tude girl” she said shaking her head. “Everyone’s tagging us in a TikTok that Matt just posted.” She said said with a hum. “Okay? They always do that.” I said looking back at my phone. “It’s lowkey about you..” she said hushed. What? “What the hell are you talking about” i said putting my phone down and turning off the camera so I don’t have to even more editing tonight.
“He used the song babydoll by Dominic Fike” Nia said with a giggle. Does she really think he made a post about me? It’s just a song. I just laughed and turned on the camera. “Anyways” I said before continuing on with the video, ignoring the thoughts in my head. The video went on for about 20 more minutes before we did the outro. Nia went to her room to get her keys and shoes while I put my shoes on because we decided to go thrifting. When we got in the car Nia was getting songs queued, she looked at me with a smirk on her face as the first song started playing.
Babydoll by Dominic Fike was blaring through the speakers. I groaned loudly rolling my eyes before turning the music down. “Nia, it’s just a song. It has no connections too me.” I said turning to her as she was pulling out of the parking lot. “In your caption you literally called him babydoll and the day after he made a TikTok with the song babydoll. You can’t tell me there’s not a single connection.” She said shaking her head. “Maybe it was in his drafts. And the video didn’t have anything on it or a caption.” I said with another eye roll. “The fans clocked it, why can’t you” she said with a frustrated sigh.
“Because it’s a song! There is nothing behind that.” I said yelling out. I’ve never been so frustrated with Nia, why can’t she just understand that it’s probably just a song. There’s a slight possibility that it could be about me but I highly doubt that. “I think you’re just being stupid” Nia said with a sigh. “I really don’t wanna talk about this anymore” I said letting out a groan. “I think you should duet it and see if he says anything” Nia said with a shrug. “Absolutely not.” I said shaking my head. “Then I will, and I’ll show you in the video and caption it “bros ignoring the fact that this video is about her” and then the fans will get Matt to see it” Nia said with a head nod.
I just roll my eyes, not responding to drop the conversation about Matt. We made it to the store and while we were walking around looking at clothes babydoll started playing on the speaker. I groan looking at Nia who was smirking. Why can’t I escape this song now. Is this my life now? Am I gonna hear babydoll everywhere I go. Nia laughs and says “it’s a sign” before walking over to a little further down the rack. I was looking at the shirts when the bell above the door rang telling everyone that someone just walked through.
I heard a small gasp from beside me. “They’re following us I swear.” Nia whispered to me. Who the hell was she talking about. I looked up and looked around before meeting eyes with Matt Sturniolo, I looked down immediately finding the pattern on the shirt the most interesting thing in the world. “Don’t do anything stupid, let’s just leave” I said in a whisper and I don’t hear anything from Nia until I hear her speak louder “are you stalking us or something” she was talking to the triplets with what I could only assume was a smirk. I internally groan walking away from her, as I hear them laugh.
This can’t be happening. I mean secretly I’m not mad about it. But the fact that they keep popping up everywhere without them even being there is scary. Me and Nia have lived in La for almost a year and only bumped into them once before yesterday. It was a few months ago, we saw them at the movie theater but we didn’t say anything to them because we didn’t wanna interrupt anything. But ever since I posted that stupid TikTok they have been literally everywhere and it was only yesterday when I posted it.
“Y/n, why are you all the way over there, come say hey to us” I heard Chris say behind me. I roll my eyes and turn around with a smile and walk over to them. “Hey guys” I said quietly while standing beside Nia, Matt smirked at my quietness. “Oh this reminds me” Nia started saying with a laugh. Oh no. “Matt why do I keep getting tagged in your recent tik tok” Nia said with a smirk. I just play with my hands trying to avoid the embarrassment I’m about to get. “Oh yeah, I swear I’ve never seen that many comments with the same two people being tagged” Chris said with a laugh while Matt shakes his head. “I think it was the song choice, Matt knew exactly what he was doing” Nick said with a laugh.
“So it was about the video Y/n posted?” Nia asked smirking. “100% I knew the fans would go crazy, I’m surprised they actually caught onto it tho” Matt said with a laugh. It was? I wanted to shrink so tiny that I could just walk out with no one noticing. “See I told you” Nia said looking at me and hitting my shoulder. I just shrugged and looked at Nick who was smirking. “So why are y’all stalking us” Chris said squinting his eyes at us. “Hey! There’s no stalking going on. Nia just wanted to go thrifting and this is our favorite spot.” I said with a shrug. I catch a glimpse of Matt smirking. Is that all he does? He always got a damn smirk on his face.
“I can’t blame you there, this is mine too” Nick said with a laugh. “This is actually where we found the dress Y/n was wearing last night” Nia said pointing at me. Nick smiles and said “I still can’t believe you thrifted that” I smiled at him. “It was only 10 dollars!” I said with a big smile. “Damn” Matt said with a smile. I looked at him for a mere 10 seconds before looking literally anywhere else. They kept talking but I wasn’t focused on that, I was looking at the clothes beside us. “What do you think Y/n?” Nick said catching my attention. I turned around with a quick “huh” noticing it was just Nick and Nia standing there now.
“We were talking about exchanging numbers to collab sometime” Nick said with a laugh. “The fans would eat that shit up honestly, I’m down” I said with a smile. “There she is” Nia said with a giggle. “It’s gonna be hard filming with Y/n in the same room with Matt, for some reason she’s so quiet around him” Nia said laughing. “Does my brother make you nervous Y/n?” Nick asked with a smile. Yes. He does. “No! I’m just quiet around new people” I said smiling. Nick and Nia look at each other sharing glances before laughing. “What! Why are you guys laughing!” I said with a laugh. “You talked to me and Chris perfectly fine. You didn’t say anything to Matt tho” Nick said coming down from his laugh.
I groaned. “It’s okay, you’re a Matt girl, that’s how they usually act” Matt said walking over to us. I groaned louder. “Matt shut up” I said while putting my face in my hands. “Ah she speaks!” Matt said smiling. Nia grabbed my hands pulling them off my face yet again. “Okay let’s wrap this up I wanna go eat” Chris said rubbing is stomach. “Oh my god! Do you guys wanna come with?” Nick said with a huge smile. “I mean shit, we don’t got nothing going on” Nia said with a smile. I just shrugged and said “let’s go” what the fuck has my life come to.
This is very long.. I apologize 🙃
Also if you’d like to be taken off this taglist lmk, or lmk if you only want to be tagged in one series and tell me which one 🫡
Taglist: @lacysturniolo @mattsaq @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosreads @creamoncreamoncream2 @robins-scoop @blahbel668 @carolsturns1 @sturniolopepsi @luverboychris @hearts4chris @freshloveforthefit @stuniolobbg @novasturniolo03 @alexb5598 @sturnioloa @nicksmainbitch @icedchailatee @bunbunbl0gs @b2cute @iloveneilperry @tubl-mc @mxqdii @mattsaq @jennss23
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baptismbaby · 8 months
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✩ LIKE A DOG WITH A BIRD AT YOUR DOOR PT. 2
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toxic!ellie x toxic! reader warnings: EVEN MORE ANGST. spontaneous smut but it's depressing honestly. super short because it's just a follow up. no one is happy song to listen to: waiting room by phoebe bridgers creds to elliesgalaxy on pinterest for ellie pic wc: 2.8k<3 part one
It’s been a week since you’ve broken up with Ellie. The first couple of days, she was calling and texting you but you ignored them. Dina sent a few to let you know she was there for you. You were slowly rotting away in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom. You haven’t showered since the day after. You were gonna go to your class but decided against it and haven’t shown up to any of them. You emailed your professor to let him know you “caught a bug” and if he could send you what he went over and the homework for it. You were finally caught up which meant you could sleep again. You had put Ellie’s t-shirt over a bear and would cuddle with it all day and night. 
You found yourself picking up your phone to see if Ellie texted you. You kept reading what she sent you: “I fucked up. Please talk to me. I just want to see your sweet face again. Please give me a chance to fix this.”
You felt stupid. You wanted to forgive her so bad, it was eating at you. You hated being away from her and you knew you’d love her no matter what. No one else could make you happy like she made you but you didn’t want to worry about her cheating again. You would go crazy.
As you read the texts over and over again, something told you to get out of bed and get yourself cleaned up. Take a walk, get fresh air, finally eat something so you don’t feel so sick all the time. You raised up and sat at the edge of your bed, fighting with yourself over what you should do. You counted down from five and stood up, your heavy feet carrying you to the bathroom. You discarded your clothes and turned the water on to cold. You stepped in, cursing under your breath and warming it up slightly. You started to feel slightly better as you shampooed your hair. You washed the grit off your body and stepped out, too lazy to use conditioner. You took out your hair dryer and stepped in front of the mirror, a sigh escaping your lips. You still looked dirty. You had dark circles and your eyes were red from crying. Your face even looked swollen. You have never looked this bad in your life. You were going insane without Ellie.
You shoved on some sweatpants, a hoodie and converse and made your way to the door. You stepped out and looked around, the hallway eerily quiet. Almost everyone was either in a class or out doing something with friends. You started to walk with no idea where you were going. The closest exit was to the left of you and yet you continued onto the opposite side. You slowed to a stop, your stomach aching as you turned to face a door. Ellie’s door.
“What the fuck am I doing?” you mumbled. You shrugged it off as muscle memory. You never went this way unless you were going to Ellie’s dorm. You sighed loudly, trying to internally convince yourself to leave. But your body refused to move. You felt stiff. You heard something fall in her room, making you jump. You were about to leave when the door opened. Ellie stood there, her mouth open and her eyes puffy. 
“It is you,” she whispered, her voice deep from exhaustion. 
You were frozen. You had no idea what to say. You didn’t even plan on seeing her and yet you couldn’t force yourself to go. She looked as awful as you did.
“Come in,” she said, stepping aside. Without hesitating, you walked inside and stood there. The clothes she took from your room looked as if Ellie threw them on the floor. Ellie walked past you and sat down on her bed, staring into space. You inched forward, slowly sitting down next to her but keeping a safe distance. It felt weird being in the same room as Ellie.
“So,” Ellie breathed. “How’ve you been?”
“Not good,” you uttered.
“Me neither.”
You started to bounce your knee. You were anxious, afraid to speak in case you broke down or started yelling at her. You definitely couldn’t handle an argument right now.
“I didn’t mean to come here,” you admitted.
“That’s fine.”
“I was going to take a walk outside.”
“That sounds nice.”
You glanced up at Ellie and made eye contact. You could tell she was mentally beating herself up. She looked so tired, hurt, guilty. 
“I took a shower today.”
Ellie tried to smile but it looked more like a grimace. “That’s good. I need one. It’s been two days.”
“I went a week without one.”
“Oh. You never skip a shower.”
“No, I don’t.”
This was too awkward. You needed to say something to break the ice. You felt since you were already here, you should talk to her about everything that happened.
“You haven’t spoken to Lila, right?”
Ellie shook her head. “Absolutely not. Dina got her kicked out.”
Before you could ask how, you suddenly remembered. Jesse was one of the resident assistants. You couldn’t wait to call Dina and thank her. You were scared you’d run into Lila somehow.
“I blocked her on everything and deleted her number. I even told her off,” she continued.
“Okay.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, I know.”
You inhaled deeply and shifted, trying not to let any tears fall when a question popped into your head that you were unsure if you wanted the answer to.
“Can you tell me why?” you asked.
Ellie sighed and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “I’m not sure if I know. It was a mistake.”
“But you do know, Ellie. I’m not stupid. I know you like the back of my hand. You can be irrational sometimes but you never do anything unless you’ve thought it through. Be honest because there’s not gonna be another chance of us talking about this.”
“Why can’t you accept that this was one of those irrational moments then?”
“Because that’s not enough!” you shouted. You groaned and rubbed your temples, trying hard to calm down. But it wasn’t working. Before you knew it, the tears started to fall and they wouldn’t stop.
“I-I need to understand why,” you sobbed. “I don’t understand and I want to. You’re all I-I’ve ever known and I don’t want to start over with someone else. I can’t, Ellie! There will never be someone else, it’ll always be you! It’s always been you. But I don’t know how to forgive you so I can move past this. I-I can’t unless you tell me, Ellie.”
“I-I think it’s because… you’re all I’ve ever known too. And I was jealous of my friends who got to experiment. I didn’t plan on acting on it when Lila made a move on me but I kept thinking it was my chance. And I hated it. I regret it so much.”
Her answer felt like a punch to your gut. You were hoping she’d say something different instead of what you thought it would be. You haven’t been taking care of yourself as punishment. You blamed yourself. Did she get bored?
“I-I did everything I could to show my love to you, Ellie. Why? Was it not enough?”
Ellie stood up and began to pace around the room, hiding her face behind her hands as her shoulders shook. She uncovered her mouth to speak. “You’ve always been enough for me.”
“But I wasn’t giving you what you wanted?”
“Please,” she begged. She kneeled down in front of you but you avoided her gaze. “You gave me everything and more. I was stupid. I-I told you, why can’t we move past this?”
“I can’t stop thinking about how you looked at her in that video she sent me. You looked so… I don’t know. Not in love but happy. I think that’s worse than the act itself. You weren’t sorry until you were caught. I think it would’ve lasted a lot longer had I not walked in on you two.”
“Believe me when I say I was going to tell you. I meant everything I said last time.”
She reached out to grab your face but you pushed her hands away, Ellie fighting back hard to get a grip on your head to force you to look at her.
“Listen to me,” she pleaded. “I love you. I will give you my password to my phone. I will text you every minute of the day to update you. I will do anything to prove I’m not doing anything and that I will never do anything again!”
You wept harder, your tears falling down and landing in your lap. “I-I want to believe you so badly.”
“Try. Just try.”
She leaned forward and kissed you. You reciprocated and wrapped your arms around her, pulling her in to deepen the kiss. You had no idea what you were doing yet you couldn’t stop. You missed the taste of her lips so much. 
Ellie pushed you back gently and crawled on top of you.
“Ellie,” you whimpered. “I’m so mad at you.”
“I know, baby.”
She pressed her lips gently along your jawline. She tugged the neckline of your sweater down to kiss all over your chest. You lifted it up over your head and threw it down on the floor. Ellie did the same to herself and pressed her body against yours. You held her close as she licked your collarbone all the way up to your ear. “I missed you.”
You couldn’t get the tears to stop flowing as her hands pushed your sweatpants down. You wanted this so bad but it was killing you. You knew you wouldn’t be able to leave if you went through with this. Ellie took her boxers off and dropped them onto the ground. She hovered over you, her eyes dancing along every inch of your face.
“You’re so beautiful,” Ellie said in a low voice. She kissed you again, more passionately than before. You shoved her down on the bed next to you and threw your leg over her waist, holsting yourself up so you were now on top of her. You lifted her thigh over yours and pressed your pussy to hers. Ellie moaned, her eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. The two of you grinded against each other, filling the room with obscene noises. The image of Ellie kissing Lila flashed before your eyes, making you whine as you cried harder. You couldn’t help but to think just how sad the whole situation was. It was strange having sex with Ellie. The two of you always had a connection yet you felt closer to her than you did before. Neither of you could stop crying. Somehow it made everything more intimate.
Ellie lifted you up and flipped you over onto the bed. She stared deeply into your eyes, her chest red and rising up quickly with every breath she took. She stuck two fingers inside of you and watched your body react to the feeling.
“Pretty girl,” Ellie cooed softly. 
As she fucked you gently with her fingers, you reached up and dug your nails into her skin. You dragged them down along her arms, deep enough for it to draw a little blood. It was a way of getting her back for what she did to you. Ellie didn’t mind it though. She threw her head back and moaned when you did it again. 
Ellie slid a third finger in and curled them upwards, hitting your g-spot. You couldn’t take it anymore. You needed more.
“Ellie,” you whispered. “I-I need something else.”
Ellie pulled her fingers out and quickly got off the bed to get the box that was slid underneath it. She opened it and pulled out a dildo and a harness, putting it together as fast as she could and sliding into it. She got back on top of you and caressed your cheek.
“I love you so much,” she said softly.
“I love you, Ellie.”
She wrapped her arms around you before thrusting into you. Your mouth fell open, letting out a gasp. You gripped onto Ellie’s shoulders as her hips rolled, her pace slow and steady.
“I wish you could see how beautiful you are right now,” Ellie mumbled.
“Sh, Ellie. I-I just want to feel you right now.”
Ellie knew why you didn’t want her to speak but felt hurt by your choice of words anyway. Even while doing this, you still didn’t believe her.
“You’re my girl,” Ellie continued. “You’ll always be my girl.”
Ellie shut her eyes and pulled out of you, lying down next to you and placing a hand on your waist. You stayed silent as a tear rolled down Ellie’s cheek. She tugged the harness down her legs and threw it back into the box, muttering something about how she’d clean it later before laying back down. She brushed your hair out of your face and gave you a sad smile. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I know… it was a bit much. It was a lot for me too. Maybe I shouldn’t have started anything.”
“Don’t,” said Ellie. “I don’t regret it at all. It was nice.”
You adjusted on the bed so that you were facing Ellie on your side. The light from the window made it seem like she was glowing. Her green eyes looked brighter than usual. 
“Can you tell me what I can do to fix this?” 
“I don’t know if there’s anything that can be done to fix it right now,” you responded.
Ellie sighed. “Is there anything I can do for you right now, then?”
“Hold me.”
You raised up and rested your head on Ellie’s shoulder, her cheek pressed against your hair and her fingers drawing circles on your arm. The warmth of her body nearly lulled you to sleep but you tried to stay awake. You would never leave if you woke up in her arms.
“This is over, isn’t it?” inquired Ellie.
“Yeah…”
The both of you started bawling at the same time, holding each other closer to comfort one another. Although it killed you, this was the closure you needed to be able to work on yourself and get over it. 
“I think I need time to figure things out. We both do. And once we’ve had some time apart, maybe we could try being together again. But not anytime soon.”
“I’d like that a lot,” Ellie muttered with a sniffle.
“Good.”
The both of you laid there, soaking each other up for the last time before you had to go. You wanted to say something but felt everything that needed to be said was said already. 
“I wish you didn’t have to go,” said Ellie, breaking the silence.
“I know. Me too.”
“Maybe you don’t have to.”
“I have to, Els.”
Ellie held you tighter, burying her face in the crook of your neck. She inhaled deeply to take in your scent.
“I think I should leave now,” you said. You pulled away from her, getting choked up from the loss of touch. You wanted to lay back down again, take everything back and try again now but knew that time apart is what the both of you needed. Ellie needed time to reflect as did you. You knew it would be difficult but it would be worth it in the end.
Ellie helped you get dressed and got dressed herself. The two of you stood there awkwardly, just waiting for the other to speak. You held your arms out in hopes she would hug you. She smiled and scooped you up, holding you tightly against her chest. 
“I love you, baby.”
“I love you too, Els. I’ll see you around.”
Ellie set you down and grabbed your hand. She led you to the door and opened it for you. You slowly slipped out of her grip, turning back to get another look before going back to your dorm. Ellie leaned against the frame, her eyes glistening as she tried hard not to break down. You made it to the door and looked back to see Ellie was peeking out of hers to watch you go inside. You smiled and chuckled softly.
“I made it safely,” you called out.
“I know. Just had to make sure.”
This was something the two of you have been doing since y’all started college. Usually once you got inside, Ellie would text you something stupid. You wondered if she would as you turned the knob and shut the door behind you. Before you could start to process everything that happened, your phone beeped. You began to cry and laugh as you read the text Ellie sent.
Making sure you didn’t fall on your way to the bed
I stumbled a little but made it just fine
Good. I love you. See you whenever.
I love you too.
535 notes · View notes
saint-siren · 7 months
Text
Sugar
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summary: cooking for someone is the sweetest expression of love.
pairing: mark grayson x gn!reader
content warnings: soft yan!reader, poisoning, gaslighting, caretaking, fluffy if you ignore that reader is a lil crazy
author’s note: I never posted this here but in honor of s2 of invincible, here’s this fic I wrote after s1 😵‍💫 my first mark fic
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Mark remembered his mom making pancakes on the weekends. It was his favorite breakfast when he was a kid. There was less time for sit down breakfasts as he grew older and spent more time outside the house working, going to school or hanging out with William, it remained a nostalgic thing for him. The smell of butter, the sizzle of the batter hitting the hot pan, he hadn’t realized he missed it.
Not until he woke up to the clattering of pans downstairs. Debbie was out for the day already, busying herself with work. As of late, the house had become stifling and she felt ill at ease. Mark was mostly left to his own devices for food and Mark being Mark, mostly subsisted on take out.
You had slept over (in the guest room, per Debbie’s request) and woken up early to make breakfast. Into the dry ingredients, you added a vial of powder as white as flour. You sprinkled it all in, hand inside the bowl, careful not to let it spill anywhere. You mixed carefully. With a focus as complete as ever, batter dropped onto the pan, sizzling. 
“Making breakfast?” His voice almost made you jump. You thought you were used to him sneaking up on you.
“Good morning to you too, Mark” You smiled to yourself, not looking up at him. “And yes, I’m making you pancakes.”
You didn’t look up but you could tell he was surprised by the pause and the awkward shift of his silhouette.
“I didn't…I know I only eat out these days but I don’t need you to cook for me, I feel kind of like an asshole watching you cook for me in my own house” He mumbled, looking away.
“I know I don’t need to, I want to. I’d feel better if you didn’t eat pizza everyday for breakfast.” 
“It’s not everyday, just…most of the time” He was embarrassed you’d noticed. “Are you not gonna have some?” He changed the topic. 
“I had four bowls of captain crunch at 5am, I’m not exactly sure more sugar is a good idea for me right now.”
You flipped the pancakes onto a plate, sliced a pat of butter onto the top and poured the syrup. Mark, even in his quest to be somewhat gentlemanly, could not resist. The first bite of the buttery pancakes drenched in the syrup evoked strong feelings. Longing, gratitude and love. The yearning for an innocence abandoned and the feeling of being loved was so strong he could cry.
Mark, like most teenage boys, could eat. You silently kept cooking pancakes and he kept eating them. It was a lovely morning, the air was sweet and the sky was a vibrant blue. You spent the day in Mark’s room, in pajamas, tracing shapes over his skin with your fingertips as you watched a marathon of movies he liked. He eagerly explained every gag and bit of trivia. But as the sky began to darken with the day’s end, Mark’s energy declined.
He was sluggish and he felt a bit warm. When he insisted he was alright, you still stayed by his side. A comfort he was secretly grateful for. Even when Debbie came home, fatigued, you kindly asserted that you would stay up with Mark and watch over him. It was only right, Debbie already had enough to deal with and she fussed over Mark until the early hours. If there was anyone she could trust Mark to, it would be you, just while she got some sleep at least.
You wiped the sweat from Mark’s brow with a gentle hand. You brought him water and aspirin, you rubbed his tender muscles, you changed his sheets soaked by sweat. Mark felt like shit but knowing you were there, unperturbed by his frequent vomiting, was a comfort beyond words. You even slept in the same bed as him now, holding his hand, rubbing over it with your fingers. He felt like a kid again, cared for and safe.
Even though after more than a week, Debbie wanted to bring him to the hospital, you waved away her concerns. “Part of this might be coming from Mark’s emotional state after what happened, maybe we have grief to blame for this, in part. Mark doesn’t need a hospital, his symptoms aren’t worse than the stomach flu, he just needs to be cared for” you had said, so convincingly, so knowingly, that it made her hesitate. You only had his best interests at heart. Mark even spoke up and said he didn’t need to go to the hospital. He had been in the hospital so often, he was sick of it. Even the memory of the strong antiseptic smell brought a sense of dread. He would rather be with you, at home being touched by your familiar, healing, hands.
He loved you so much, and told you as much very often. When you were showering with him, washing him because he was too winded; your wet, warm skin carefully cleaning his, he murmured ‘I love you.’ He was vulnerable, tender, worn and tired but he was certain of one thing. He couldn’t live without your warmth. Everyone else counted on him, they needed something from him and if he failed to deliver he’d be letting them down. It’d be another fuck up to add to the roster and yet another time someone he loved would look at him like a loser. But with you, he felt the closest thing to unconditional love he had ever experienced from anyone besides his mom. You didn’t care who he decided to help or what he messed up, you would always accept him. Even if you weren’t always pleased with what he did, you never judged him harshly for his mistakes. For his wins or his fails, you loved him. Mark thought it was way more than he deserved and part of him really did regret his actions more in the face of your forgiveness. He did feel like such an asshole when he found comfort in your acceptance, when you consoled him as if he really deserved it. But fuck if he didn’t need it.
He obviously couldn’t rush off saving people like he had, so he stayed safely inside. His world was small and manageable. His body was whole, if aching and feverish. That was what you intended. For Mark to be safe. He was always putting himself in danger like it didn’t matter, running off to save the world like no one else. Sometimes he would come back intact and sometimes he wouldn’t. Sometimes he was a hair’s breadth away from death. But Mark didn’t want to stay put, you weren’t strong enough to protect him directly and you couldn’t order him to. What were you to do?
A bit of poison wouldn’t do him in, in fact, you were certain it wouldn’t even keep him down very long. But buying even this amount of time was a blessing. You wanted to keep him safe, keep him inside forever if that’s what it took but that wouldn’t work. For now, you were just buying a little time and some peace of mind. You tell yourself you were driven to this.
A few days later, Mark’s strength had recovered somewhat. You fed him soup and he kept all of it down. He was relieved to be recovering even though he would miss being babied by you and Debbie’s worries eased meaning you were safe from her suspicion. He went back to school, back to saving the world eventually. You waited until enough time passed. Until you could return things to how they should be.
The moment came six months later, the previous night you two had been out with William and Eve. He’d rushed off to the city with Eve while you were in the middle of eating at some greasy pizza joint. Your heart fluttered as you gazed at the empty space next to you in the booth. At least Eve was with him, though it was a poor consolation. They were fighting the same aliens they were overwhelmed by a few weeks ago. He came home in one piece, thankfully, but he had been fighting so much lately. Cecil asked so much of him, he’d been flying off to this and that attack. He was bound to be hurt again soon, even just that month there had been threats he’d barely escaped from. It was your misfortune to fall in love with a hero, it meant that he would never really be safe and neither would you.
You called Mark to sleep over at yours when he came back that night. Your mother worked late or sometimes, simply didn’t want to come home so the house was yours. The two of you watched mafia movies, argued about whether the godfather was overrated or not and ate an ungodly amount of popcorn. The following morning, you cooked a big breakfast, muffins, bacon, omelets. Pancakes. 
He ate so hungrily it hurt your heart. He truly did love your cooking. Even though Debbie had gradually started making dinner for him again months ago, he had really missed your cooking. It wasn’t that her’s wasn't delicious, it was just…there was something that made him warm inside about the idea that you should make something for him. That you thought about him, cared about him enough. That much effort wasn’t necessarily a given in a high school relationship. It was new and nice to be with someone who showed their love for him so frankly.
You watched him eat with such a sweet look on your face. You ate with him, an omelette and bacon, for the sake of appearance. Planned out in anticipation of Mark’s tastes and in the interest of keeping suspicion to a minimum, you added your remedy to both the muffins and the pancakes. The muffins had less of it, as you knew Mark would be likely to eat more pancakes than muffins but if he chose to forgo that for the opposite, he would still be made ill. You even had plans for the unlikely event that he chose to eat neither. But Mark wasn’t rude enough to pass up food made for him by someone he loves.
Shortly after breakfast, Mark was in the bathroom vomiting. It seemed far more likely that the pizza joint with the sticky seats and chain smoking cooks gave him food poisoning than anything having been wrong with your food. In his head, it didn’t even occur to him. When you helped him into bed, he felt grateful that he was with you. It was such a relief not to say that he was fine, not to have to be brave. Nobody cared for him as gently as you did. 
Your sheets and your pillows smelled like you. Mark felt weird smelling your things but it was nice to be surrounded by comfort. You washed him in your soap so he smelled like you too. He couldn’t have wanted you more in that moment, he wanted your skin against yours. He wanted your voice, the brush of your fingertips against his. When he was well, he wanted to be someone you would be proud to be with. To be that hero you deserve. When he was this sick, he still had that desire lingering somewhere in the background but he melted down into the barest of wants. And what remained was a need for you, an uncomplicated desire. He felt as if he’d dissolve into your mattress if he couldn’t feel you.
“I’m right here, Mark” You murmured, cleaning the sweat from his chest with a cloth. You have such gentle hands, your eyes stay on his to make sure you’re not hurting him. Under your loving attention, a few tears roll down Mark’s cheek. He can’t help it, you’re always there for him. Without you, who does he have to lean on like this? His mom was already a wreck, Eve had her own problems, William had no idea how to deal with something as big as what he went through — he doesn’t even know how to deal with it. He cannot live without you, who doesn’t understand what he went through but understands what he needs better than anyone.
“What’s the matter? Does something hurt?” You asked, panicked at his tears. Mark didn’t cry easily, you hadn’t meant to put him in so much pain he’d cry. You had added just enough, you always operated on that balance. Just enough pain, just enough sickness, just enough time.
“No, it’s just-” Mark’s voice was raw. “I’m glad I’m with you, that’s all.”
You softened. Hearing him say that made you melt into a puddle of sticky sweet syrup. It only strengthened your resolve and you were overcome with the need to keep him safe. And with the knowledge that if something happened to him, you would die. When the savage, gruesome fight happened, your stomach was in knots for days while you heard no news. Your heart squeezed painfully as if you were going to have a heart attack and it went on for days. When you slept to escape the constant anxiety, you had nightmares. You didn’t even go to school, you couldn’t get out of bed for anything other than checking whether or not he’d come home. For weeks you lived in hell, thinking you would lose him. And although he was alright that time, a piece of that moment lived in you every time he flew off toward danger. 
“I love you so much, Mark” You bowed your head and rested it against his chest, hearing his strong heart beating. You pressed a kiss there, along the contours of his chest, right over his heart.
“I love you too” He mumbled weakly. There couldn’t be anything sweeter than you.
Your love was falling over him like powdered sugar. These moments, without knowing it, he had come to need them. Being sick was the only time he was allowed to fully be human. No one needed or expected anything of him. Under your care, he could be briefly vulnerable. 
That was all you needed to ease that inkling of guilt that rose in the back of your mind. Who was protecting him like he protected everyone else? No one but you. It was why you had to resort to using underhanded methods, if everyone was trying to protect him, if they only cared — you wouldn’t need to. That was what you reasoned, anyway.
Mark needed you, anyone with eyes could see that. And you had no intention of abandoning him. Whatever you had to do, in your eyes it was all the desperation of a powerless human trying to save the man they love. It was romantic, even. You anticipated the moment where Mark might put two and two together. It made you anxious and you had practiced the speech you’d give him a thousand times. “I love you and I’m scared. I’m so scared for you. I always am." But you soothed yourself with the knowledge that Mark would understand, above anyone else, you’d earned the benefit of the doubt.
Because Mark knew what he needed, even if it was something he couldn’t have expressed on his own. Even if it was something that he shouldn’t. He was only human — even if he was half viltrumite — could he really deny your feelings and his own? No. Not when you were his saving grace. How could he not understand what you were trying to do when his sentiments were nearly the same?
You were watching Mark sleep, laying next to him, his arm around you. His skin was warm and his breaths were labored. You reassured yourself as you pulled the blanket up to his chest. You would take good care of him, he knew that. He had to, he had to know. He just had to.
612 notes · View notes
peachhcs · 10 days
Text
love is never logical
hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)
when will decides he wants to sign on with the sharks he quickly becomes scared of the distance. everything changes when will breaks up with samy thinking it's for their own good
2.5k words
warnings: angst, crying, breakup, will being insecure about his relationship and his boyfriend abilities
y'all, you knew this one was immediately coming. samy and will's breakup era has begun! stay tuned to more of this era that i have ahead which is full of angst (but i will still write happy samy and will in between these posts if people request or if i'm feeling happy lol) will signing to the sharks so soon feels crazy
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something in will’s mind has been swimming nonstop since he returned from worlds. nothing yet everything made sense and the hockey player nearly wanted to throw up because of it all. the food offerings from his mom kept getting rejected because putting food in his body would most definitely come back up five minutes later. he’s never been so nauseous before, but the things running through his brain caused everything to spiral. 
with his knees pulled to his chest, will sat out on the back steps of his house, face buried in his arms trying to set his brain right. the back door slid open and soft footsteps filled the dull silence all the way to where the boy perched himself. 
“hey, you okay? i’ve been looking all over for you,” samy’s gentle voice filled his ears. when will didn’t meet her gaze, she slid in beside him with a soft hand falling across his back. 
“will?” 
he knew she’d be happy for him. she was going to be ecstatic once she found out, but that was what will hated. 
he was going all the way across the country, leaving his friends and family behind, and no matter how hurt samy might be, she would still be happy for him. because that’s who she was and will knew that, but he just couldn’t stomach the idea that he was leaving her after not even dating for a whole year yet. 
he was going to be across the entire country from her. how was he supposed to be her boyfriend being that far away? michigan and boston were way different from michigan and california. 
all of this sent poor will into a spiral he felt like he was being sucked into. 
“will, talk to me. are you okay?” samy spoke again when she continued getting no responses. 
he finally met her gaze. her eyes were soft with worry that something was seriously wrong and that alone made will want to sink away. when samy saw her boyfriend’s expression her worry deepend. she’d never seen him look like that before. 
“i’m signing,” the boy finally managed in a near whisper. 
a beat of silence passed through the couple as samy processed his words and will anxiously awaited her reaction. 
“you’re gonna sign on with the sharks?” samy asked just to clarify what he was trying to tell her. 
the blonde nodded, his eyes searching hers furiously like she was going to explode at him or something (even though he knew she wouldn’t). 
“like now?” the girl continued with her questions just to make sure she was getting everything correct. 
“in two days, i’m signing,” will said. 
another beat of silence passed between them before samy’s features morphed into what looked like pure happiness. she tackled will into a large hug that almost sent both of them flying off the porch. 
“i’m so happy for you! congratulations! this is so big. when did you decide?” her lips beamed into a smile that made the blonde feel even guiltier. 
“i knew before going to worlds. probably since like the end of the season,” will’s mind has been on signing since the end of the college season. he always knew what the choice was even when he said he didn’t know yet. 
“wow, this is big. i’m really proud of you,” samy rubbed his arm with the large smile still on her face. he studied her face as if he was looking for the disappointment, but it wasn’t there. just pure happiness for him. 
will sat in silence for a moment wondering if he should really do this. he’d been rolling over the idea for days since he got back from worlds knowing what was coming. it’ll be better this way. that’s what he kept telling himself in hopes that he’d believe it. 
in his mind, samy deserved someone who could be there for her all the time. not a guy who was away all the time and couldn’t ever show up for her things because hockey took up all of his time. 
he knew samy didn’t care, but it wasn’t fair to her that she went to his things and he couldn’t even be there for her. she deserved someone a lot better than what he could give. 
“you don’t seem as happy about this,” samy commented after sitting in will’s silence. all of her attention was on him and she knew there was something on his mind just based on the way he curled in on himself. 
“no, no, i am. i just.. i need to talk to you about something,” the boy began knowing that if he didn’t say this now, he never would. 
“okay,” the girl shifted, but she kept her gaze on her boyfriend. 
“i don’t..i don’t know if i can do long distance anymore,” will spit it all out in one go. saying it made him grimace as he watched the smile fall from samy’s lips. 
“w-what?” 
“i don’t think we should like..be together anymore,” he couldn’t go back now. not when he already said it. 
“wait, i’m confused. are you–are you saying we should break up?” the way samy drew away from him broke will’s heart, but he kept his composure. 
“i just..i just don’t know how easy it will be with me in california and you in michigan. it’s way different than michigan and boston,” he watched all of the color drain from her face and for a moment will knew he shouldn’t have done this, but he couldn’t go back. 
plus, if kept telling himself it was better for both of them, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt as bad. 
“i-i don’t understand. distance has never been an issue for us. now it is?” 
“i’m gonna be all the way in california, samy. it’s not just a two week development camp anymore. that’s my life now. i-i can’t be the boyfriend you need me and want me to be all the way in california,” will shook his head, avoiding eye contact because if he looked at her, he’d break. 
“will, it’s not..i’ve never thought you were a bad boyfriend while you were in boston. it’s not gonna change,” samy tried, but he wasn’t gonna let her through. 
“but it will. everything’s gonna change, samy. we probably won’t be able to see one another until..fucking summer. that’s not a relationship. i-i can’t do that to you or me,” will argued back as the youngest hughes’ face fell. 
“so you’re saying this isn’t worth it to you anymore? i’m not worth it to you to do long distance?” she drew back almost completely, face becoming hard. 
will looked at her since the first time he started this. the expression on her face broke him, but he wouldn’t let his tears fall. not like this in front of her. 
“yeah. i can’t..i can’t be in a relationship when i only get to see you for three months in the summer. it was hard enough this past year,” will mumbled as he looked away again. 
a large tension-filled silence swirled between them. samy studied the blonde, her best friend, for a long time wondering if he was actually being serious becaus she really couldn’t believe it. 
“so everything that happened between us—the facetime calls, the dates, all of it meant nothing to you? absolutely nothing?” 
will’s jaw clenched. of course it meant everything to him, but he couldn’t string samy along like this with him. he had to let her go for the sake of both of them. 
“yeah.” 
“fuck you. i never wanna see you again. enjoy your new fucking life in california,” samy stormed back inside before will could say anything else. 
as soon as the door slammed shut, the tears in the blonde’s eyes started falling. he buried his head back into his arms and now he really felt like throwing up. 
it’s for the best. it’s for the best. it’s for the best. it’s for the best. 
if he kept saying that, maybe it’d make everything in his heart stop hurting so much. 
he heard voices inside and then there was a door and then there was the sound of a car starting. the next time the back door opened, grace rushed out towards her brother when she saw him curled up on the step. 
“will! what happened? samy’s leaving,” she rushed to his side. 
“i know,” the boy said through his cries. 
“what happened? did something happen?” she grew worried for her brother who she’s rarely seen cry. 
“i broke up with her,” will said and now it was grace’s face to fall. 
“what? why? i thought you guys were doing good?” the older smith sibling frowned. she knew how much her brother and samy liked one another, so she didn’t get what could make them breakup. 
“i-i just couldn’t do it with us being so far away. i mean she doesn’t deserve a boyfriend who’s only half there for her. i can’t be there for her,” will shook in his head still in tears. 
“oh, will. come here,” grace pulled him into her arms and that’s when the boy began sobbing. 
— 
samy pulled into ryan’s driveway at almost 11. after rushing out of will’s, the first place she thought to go was ryan’s even if the drive was an hour and a half long. she just couldn’t be at that house anymore. 
the girl stumbled her way to the front door where she rang the doorbell and shivered from the cool breeze blowing through the air. the heavy wood swung open a moment later to a very confused ryan when he saw samy. 
“samy? what are you—” he cut himself off when he saw her puffy cheeks and teary eyes. “what happened? are you okay?” when his voice softened samy lost it again as her tears restarted. 
she fell into the boy’s arms in sobs. ryan, who still didn’t understand what was happening, drew his arms around her small frame in a tight hug. he glanced behind his shoulder to julianne who stood a few feet away, concern also written on her features. 
“talk to me, hughesy. what happened?” ryan tried again as he pulled the girl back. 
“will broke up with me.” 
ryan’s eyes widened at the revelation. he looked back at his girlfriend again who looked equally surprised. 
“what?” 
after that, ryan urged the poor girl in before she got even colder. julianne quickly wrapped samy into a blanket as she sat her down on the couch. her cries turned into little whimpers as samy attempted to compose herself. 
“i’m sorry, i should’ve told you i was coming. i was just so.. so lost. i don’t know,” the brunette mumbled out a weak apology, but ryan shook his head. 
“stop, don’t apologize. why did he break up with you?” ryan urged, knowing he was going to call will as soon as samy explained what happened. 
“i don’t really know. he just said long distance wasn’t worth it anymore and he couldn’t do it,” samy shrugged, still not completely comprehending all of it. 
“jesus christ. he’s so fucking dumb. i’ll talk to him,” ryan angrily shook his head while reaching for his phone, but samy stopped him. 
“don’t. i told him i never wanted to see him again. if he feels that way, then fuck him,” the girl’s voice turned bitter. ryan and julianne exchanged another worried glance, but neither of them said anything. 
they both knew this was bad and ryan was most definitely going to call will later. 
later that night when samy fell asleep in the comfort of julianne’s arms, ryan disappeared to his room to call his friend to give it to him. will’s phone buzzed by his head and he saw ryan’s name flash across the screen. the blonde pushed himself up, sliding right knowing leno never called him unless it was something serious. 
“what the fuck did you do?” ryan started, not even a hello or a how are you. 
“what?” 
“do not say what right now, smith. tell me why samy drove an hour and a half to my house in tears saying you broke up with her?” ryan’s anger didn’t dissipate. his rough tone had will grimacing. 
“she’s there?” the blonde’s voice softened out. when he went to check samy’s location she had already turned it off for him. 
“yes, she’s here and i thought something really bad happened when i saw her tears. what the hell has gotten into you? i thought you guys were like in love with each other?” 
“i’m gonna sign,” will blurted out nervously. 
the boy on the other end fell silent for a moment, “to the sharks?” 
“yeah. in two days,” the blonde nodded. 
“what does that have to do with you breaking up with your best friend?” ryan still didn’t get it nor did he think he’d ever get will’s fucked up reasoning. 
“that’s the whole point, ry. i’m signing which means i’m moving my entire life to california. i can’t be a boyfriend from fucking california,” will frowned even though ryan couldn’t see it. 
“who said that? yes you can. you guys literally did long distance this past year? what’s so different about this?” 
“i wasn’t even there for her. i couldn’t because of hockey. she doesn’t deserve some half-assed boyfriend. she deserves someone who can be there for her and that can’t be me. not when we’re across the country from each other and i’m not gonna see her until summers now. i can’t do that to her, ry,” will’s voice broke for the first time since the two started talking. ryan backed off a little when he heard his friend’s voice. 
“you know she doesn’t care about that, will,” ryan’s tone softened out finally. 
“which is why i had to break up with her before we really hurt each other.” 
“i think you already did your damage, will. she’s really beat up about this. you should talk to her,” the brunette tried, but will’s head shook. 
“i can’t. it’s done. i have to let her go.” 
“dude, you can’t actually think that. she’s with you until the end of the line. she has been since you were kids. what happened to that whole thing where you guys promised you’d be friends even if things went bad?” ryan reached for anything at this point because he didn't want to see his friends like this. not when he watched them pine over one another for two years. not when he’s seen how much samy and will loved one another. 
“i gotta go, ry. i’m sorry,” will said because he couldn’t be pulled back in. he had to do this and no one was gonna change his mind. his thumb pressed the end call button before ryan could argue more with him. 
a broken sigh left will’s lips and in the very, very back of his mind, he knew he made the wrong choice on this one, but now it was too late. 
samy was gonna find a great guy at michigan who’d be the perfect boyfriend will could never be for her.
185 notes · View notes
athforskz · 2 months
Text
Body Worship - Seo Changbin
Masterlist
Pairing: Changbin  x reader (afab) 
wc: ~2.7k
Type: Angst, smut, established relationship
Warnings: Insecurities (body image issues), cursing, mention of online bullying & death threats, crying, tons of kissing, love bites/ marking, sensory play (reader is blindfolded), unprotected piv, use of sex toys, prone bone, aftercare. Let me know if I missed any!
a/n: I don’t care who you are, but every single one of you is beautiful! You better believe it or I’ll send Changbin after you, myself! 😤
Enjoy lovelies!
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It had been weeks since you showed your face to the public or been out of the house for that matter. All you wanted to do was stay home in your cozy bed and sleep. To say you were insecure was an understatement. Your boyfriend, Changbin, hadn’t really minded your increasing tendencies to stay in bed. He figured you were just catching up on some much needed rest. However, when it was creeping up on the third week of you turning down his date ideas he started to get worried. 
“Bunny, you doing okay today?” 
“I’m fine, Binnie.” You sighed from underneath the pile of blankets. 
Changbin let out a frustrated groan. He knew you weren’t fine, but he couldn’t figure out why. He finally had vacation time and all he wanted to do was spend it with you. Take you out to all your favorite places and maybe make some new adventures. 
You, on the other hand, despised the thought of it. Not because you didn’t want to spend quality time with your beloved boyfriend, but because of what his fans and media might think. You and Changbin had started dating a little over two years ago. At first the relationship was kept a secret with only his group members, close friends, and family knowing of your status. But once you both had felt comfortable you guys decided to make your relationship public. For the most part, it went over well with Stays accepting your presence and news outlets making headlines about you dating the K-pop idol. 
Even though the majority of fans and media welcomed you, there were still toxic fans and tabloids that tried to tear you down. Normally, you wouldn’t let the hate get to you, but some of the things you read in news articles or comments fans made chipped away at your confidence bit by bit. It started off with an unflattering photo caught by paparazzi when you and Changbin were headed to the airport, then the comments began rolling in. 
‘Her face looks so uneven’
‘She dresses like a toddler’
‘Changbin could do so much better’
You wanted to ignore it all. Push all the hate aside and continue with the happiness you found in Changbin. But just when you were getting used to the mild negativity, the death threats came. Some crazy fans had found your personal accounts, threatening you to stay away from their Changbin. There had even been a trending tag on Twitter reading ‘Save Binnie from his scrooge girlfriend.’ 
That was your final straw, the final push that had sent you into recluse mode almost three weeks ago. You started nitpicking your looks and facial features. You became hyper aware of every scar and stretch mark on your body. You would stand in the mirror pinching the chub of your stomach or thighs. Everything made you feel disgusted with yourself and the only way to feel any kind of comfort was to hide away. 
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“Come on, you have to talk to me eventually.” Changbin wouldn’t leave you alone.
“Talk about what? There’s nothing wrong…” you lied through your teeth. 
Changbin pulled the duvet from your curled form. You whined trying to grab it back from him. 
“Binnieeee, please just leave me be right now.” 
“Not until you’re honest with me,” he retorted. 
You simply laid there feeling defeated, covering your face with your hands as tears welled at your lash line. He could hear the faint sniffles you were trying to keep quiet. Changbin became increasingly concerned and grabbed your wrists to move them away from your face. 
“Hey, hey baby, why are you crying? Please talk to me. I am begging you.” He was pleading with you. 
“Why are you still with me…?” You averted your eyes, not able to look your boyfriend in the face. 
“What are you talking about? I’m with you because I love you and you make me the happiest man on earth.”
“But I’m nothing more than an ugly fucking scrooge!” You had snapped, tears full on running down your cheeks as you completely turned your face away. 
Bin placed his hands on either side of your cheeks making you look at him. 
“Why are you saying this? Please don’t talk down about yourself, it breaks my heart to see you hurting.” 
“Social media and some of your fans have been saying rude things. But now I see that it’s all true.” You mumbled, halfway hoping he wouldn’t hear you, but he did. 
“None of it is true. You have to stop paying attention to those haters.” He said softly as he rubbed your cheeks with the pad of his thumbs. 
“You’re only saying that..” you tried to pull out of his hold but he kept you close.
“Baby, you are the most gorgeous thing to have ever walked this universe. People are always graced by your beauty when you walk into a room. I am beyond lucky to call you mine and I’ll personally fight anyone who thinks otherwise.” He declared to you.
“So you don’t think I look like the scrooge?” You sniffled.
He chuckled while shaking his head, “course not. You are my beautiful babes.” 
“I- I don’t believe it. I’m sorry.. I just feel so ugly and unworthy of you.” You sobbed again.
Changbin pulled you in close placing a gentle kiss on your forehead before getting off the bed. “Guess I’ll just have to prove it to you. Make you believe it.” He simply stated while walking around the shared bedroom gathering a few items and even lighting a couple of candles. 
For a minute you were confused. How was he going to achieve a seemingly impossible task? You had your mind made up and there was no changing it. Your insecurities were set in stone. 
After Bin had gathered what he was looking for he kneeled on the bed in front of where you were now sat up. 
“Close your eyes f’ me.” He said calmly.
“Bin, I don’t think-“ you tried to resist.
“That wasn’t a request, bunny.” 
You shut your mouth and followed his command, closing your eyes. You could feel some kind of thick silk being wrapped around your head, making sure you couldn’t see anything. 
“What are you doing?” You inquired.
“Shhh, I’m going to be the one asking questions. Understand?” 
“…yes,” you whispered. 
“That’s my girl,” he praised. Changbin ran his fingers through your hair, landing his palm on the crown of your head massaging just the way you liked it. You began to relax, your previous sobbing and sniffles coming to a stop. He then gripped onto the roots of your hair and maneuvered your head to the side so he had easy access to your neck. 
“Can’t believe you’d talk about yourself - my girl - in such a way. You have a wonderful mind and a beautiful body and I intend to worship all of it. Show you exactly what I see.” He placed a kiss on your neck, sucking and biting the flesh which will surely leave a mark. 
“You’re so pretty, so damn pretty.” He murmured with his lips still pressed under your jaw, moving to another spot to mark. Your breath hitched when you felt his tongue lick up the column of your neck. 
Needless to say, you and Bin hadn’t been the most intimate the last few weeks. So every kiss and every touch he gave you made you feel more sensitive. The way his hands caressed down your waist until he reached the hem of your shirt set your skin on fire. He pulled the clothing over your head and tossed it on the floor. You covered your chest with your arms out of reflex, but he stopped you. 
“Don’t hide this gorgeous body from me, sweetheart. I need to see you. I crave you.” He said in an almost animalistic tone. It sent shivers down your spine. Bin placed his hand between your breasts and lightly pushed you down to lay flat on your back. He then slid his hand to the side to cup and squeeze your right breast. “Such beautiful tits you have,” he leaned down to suck on the left. “So squishy and perfect,” he’d say between sucks and licks to your nipples.
You started letting out airy moans at his ministrations on your chest. Changbin came up to place another kiss on your lips before kissing down your sternum and down your stomach. The motions made you tense as you especially hated your abdomen. He sensed the change in your body language and rubbed your sides spending extra time there. His fingertips hooking into the hem of your sweatpants, pulling them down along with your panties. 
“Binnie.. don’t look please.” You started shaking from anxiety. 
“It’s okay, baby. It’s just me. Binnie’s got you, bunny.” He reassured you as he continued his kissing assault on your middle. 
“I especially love your soft tummy. One of my favorite parts of you and the best place to lay my head when we cuddle.” Changbin affirmed. You whined at his declaration, then you felt him go even lower, spreading your legs apart. You wanted to close them so badly but you know he’d just pull them open again. You couldn’t deny that you were dripping with arousal at this point. He landed a kiss on your wet core making you shudder. Then you heard him shuffling for something next to you. You kind of hated not being able to see anything but in a way it made you calmer. 
A few more seconds passed before you felt your boyfriend shift and a cold object was placed directly in your clit. Changbin clicked the device making it come to life. It was your vibrator. The sudden feeling making your body jolt and a whimper escape your lips. You couldn’t see it, but you could practically feel the smirk Bin would most certainly be sporting right now. 
“Now, you don’t get to cum until you admit how beautiful you are. Got it?” He established a rule that he wanted to make sure you understood. 
“Nng I- I can’t!” The vibrations were already drawing you close. 
“Oh you will, bunny.” He said matter of factly.
Changbin kept the little toy in place on your clit as his other hand along with his lips explored every other inch of your body. He chanted how beautiful, gorgeous, and stunning you were like a mantra. You tried to hold your orgasm back as long as you could but he knew you were on the edge by the way your hips bucked. 
“C’mon, say it. Lemme hear ya, honey.” 
Your brain went fuzzy and you just wanted to cum so bad. “M’ pretty! Fuck, s’ pretty!” You called out. 
“Good girl, that’s right baby. Good job,” he praised.
You were panting, trying to catch your breath as he let you calm down from your high. Changbin removed the vibrator from your soaked pussy, tossing it aside. 
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Once your boyfriend felt you were ready he maneuvered you so you were laying on your front, facing your body to the foot end of the bed. He then placed a pillow under your lower tummy to make sure you were comfortable. You could feel him situate himself between your legs behind you, his weight slowly pressing onto your back. You felt a light tug to the silk ribbon he had tied around your eyes some time ago. It fell away, allowing you to see again. You blinked a few times to adjust to the lighting. When your eyes focused you could see he had moved you so you could see yourself in the mirror that was placed at the opposite side of the room. You immediately hid your face in the mattress, not wanting to bear witness to the reflection in front of you.
“Don’t look away, bun. Wan’ you to see how absolutely ethereal you look when we fuck.” He nipped at your ear before reaching a hand around to the front of you to grab under your jaw and lift your head. In your haste to hideaway you hadn’t noticed that Changbin was naked on top of you. You wondered how you could feel his cock throbbing so clearly on your thigh. 
“Don’t wanna look,” you whined while locking eyes with him through the mirror. 
“But you just have to see what I see when you cum. You look so pretty when you cum, baby.” You knew there was no protesting, so you simply nodded. 
Changbin lifted his hips slightly so he could line his cock up with your entrance that was currently clenching around nothing. He sank into you slowly, allowing you to adjust. Bin’s cock was thick and the stretch always burned deliciously when he first entered. You let out a breathy moan as he started to grind his hips into your core. The sound of skin smacking as he bounced off your ass. 
He could see your eyes glaze over with lust as pleasure overtook you. You kept your gaze on the mirror as your boyfriend fucked into you mercilessly from behind. “Yeah, that’s it, babe. So fucking gorgeous, my girl- ah,” he landed a harsh slap to your rear making the skin ripple. You let out a squeak between the string of moans falling from your lips. 
Binnie leaned down placing kisses on your back and shoulders, occasionally biting to leave his mark. He’d look up every few thrusts to make sure you were still watching yourself and at one point he saw the position of your eyes shift. You had siren eyes and your moans became more throaty, indicating to him that you were definitely into it. Into checking yourself out which is exactly what he wanted. 
Suddenly, Changbin reached around to grip your neck and pull you up against his chest. Making you both kneel while his other arm wrapped across your waist. His cock reached deeper this way and hit that spot that drove you wild. The knot in your core threatened to snap with every harsh pump of his dick. 
“M’ gonna cum! B-bin please!” You screamed while looking up at the ceiling, your vision becoming blurry. 
Changbin redirected your gaze to the mirror again as he felt your body spasming from your release. 
“Mm fuck look how gorgeous y’ look cummin’ on my cock like that,” he said between grunts as his own high washed over him. His seed spurting into you in waves. 
“So.. gorgeous,” you repeated as your orgasm finished wracking your body. You couldn’t help but watch how your body glowed after your second release of the night. A thin sheen of sweat adorning your body, almost looking like you were sparkling. You looked positively hot, maybe you could see in yourself what your boyfriend saw. 
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You both stayed like that for a while, connected and calming down from the mind blowing sex. Changbin pulled out after a few more minutes then went to the bathroom to run a hot bath for the both of you. You laid on the bed feeling uncomfortably sticky from the sweat drying. Before you knew it your boyfriend had returned and picked you up bridal style in his strong arms and carried you to the bath. You giggled and kicked your feet at his display of strength. 
“Binnie! I can walk by myself ya know?” 
“I just fucked you senseless and you think you’d be able to walk straight?” He chuckled.
You huffed in response as he gently lowered you into the water. The warmth encapsulating your body. Changbin stepped in to sit behind you and pulled you back so you were laying on his broad chest. He kissed the side of your head and whispered sweet nothings in your ear while lightly tracing the love bites that were bruising on your skin. 
Somehow the marks made you feel even more confident. They were symbols of your loving boyfriend and that in itself was beautiful to you. 
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Likes, comments, and reblogs are always very much appreciated!
Taglist: @doitforbangchan / @jehhskz
361 notes · View notes
scarleart · 1 year
Note
i want that wet slow tongue kissing with abby where you’re pressed right up against each other grinding and biting and grabbing and moaning and saying nasty stuff to each other GOD
oh my… goodness. i think you just took me out.
.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.
god the two of you looked so… perfectly messy and feral.
abby had you seated on her, the back of your clothed thighs pressing right into the exposed front of hers. she was kneeling into the bed, holding and gripping you by your ass to keep you propped up as you rutted against her.
abby’s rough lips were connected passionately to your impending swollen ones. both of your lips collided and clashed together in a kiss that was full of both immense need and desire all at once. her warm, smooth tongue gilded and danced rhythmically inside of your desperate mouth. the wet muscle tracing every tooth and all of it’s crevices almost as if she’s trying to memorize it.
the only thing you could hear in the room were the sounds of the both of your lips smacking wetly against each other’s so sloppily— following right along with the infinite sounds of abby’s groans and your mewls.
abby’s hand that’s on your ass, gripping like her fucking life was depending on it, rose up and suddenly landed a sharp blow to your cheek. her hand coming down to massage the skin as soon as she did so as she heard your little cry. feeling your hips stuttering against her bulge from the strap she was wearing under her shorts.
she pulled away from your addicting mouth, a singular strand of yours and your lover's spit kept your agape mouth’s together, the string only breaking when you went back to chase after her lips once more. so needy and desperate for her to be close to you at all times.
abby slightly pull back from your incoming lips, a light chuckle leaving her while she does so. a smirk taking over her spit glistening lips as she eyed your slacken expression and sounds of the little purring noises emitting from you.
“mmphn— abs” you moaned softly, your hands rushing to grab at your girlfriends raging arms to ground yourself, the big fullness of her biceps making your mind go even more crazy.
“mm, already goin’ dumb from just a few little kisses, baby?” she laughs in question, her mouth moving to abuse your neck next. her hands holding and controlling the movements of your hips grinding, making you go so fucking slow purposefully.
you then puckered your lips that were swollen from yours and abby’s previous intense making out, into a huge pout unconsciously.
“i wan’ your cock” you whined, trying to force your hips to move faster but only being met by a bruising smack at the same exact spot from a few minutes ago on your bum. abby grins at your words, ignoring your squeals of pain as she kept moving you against her however she pleased.
“yea? want me in that pretty pussy of yours? jus’ want me to fuck you until you can’t take it anymore, huh?” abby asks you lowly before she presses a harsh kiss against your saliva coated lips once again, her tongue making home into the warm cavern of your hot mouth. you were trying so hard to keep up with her but you couldn’t.
“hm? just want me to ruin that needy cunt” her words were fucking destroying you, it didn’t help that her voice was so husky and low. just all close to you, saying so much nasty shit to you. god, you can feel yourself literally leaving a puddle in your underwear. you’re sure as hell abby does too. you were so wet.
you weakly nod your head, whimpering when she started making you pick up the pace. feeling your clit grind against her hard bulge and the help of the friction of your underwear building you so close to the edge.
“yeah, baby?” you nod feebly once more, causing abby to chuckle to herself. her pretty baby. “say it” you let out a whiny groan at her words, so so close to cumming when she goes even faster.
“i—i want you to ruin my needy c—cunt, please. wan’ it so badly” abby gives you a small peck on your now bruised, and oh so sore lips. smirking when you kissed her back sheepishly when she pulled away from you.
“i’ll give it to you, princess”
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1K notes · View notes
Note
please write some conrad fics, the tag has been DRY
Is there a Aaron Dessner that has produced that is not heartbreaking? The Great war, Tolerate it, Right where you left me, You’re losing me, Would’ve could’ve should’ve. I have nothing against Jack, but when Aaron is involved, things…hit different.  
The acronym switching from love of my life to loss of my life *UGLY CRYING*
Warnings: heartbreak
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
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When coming to Cousins for Belly and Jeremiah’s wedding, you knew it would be impossible to go through a whole weekend of wedding festivities without speaking to Conrad. You tried to avoid him, but he was always right there. In the kitchen talking with Laurel. In the living room with Jeremiah and Belly. In the backyard with Steven helping set up the chairs and tables under Taylor’s instructions. 
At least he didn’t come to the wedding with a girl. It would have hurt too much.
‘’I can’t believe our Belly is getting married,’’ you said as you all sat in the living room for the smallest bachelorette party. 
There was no male stripper dancing or crazy alcohol consumption like you see in movies. Just matching pajamas, a plastic ‘bride’ crown Anika got online, and sparkling mocktails. Laurel felt out of place among the younger girls, but it was her daughter’s bachelorette. She couldn’t not be there.
Taylor took a cupcake from the table, all decorated to perfection by you. ‘’I would have never guessed she would be the first of us to marry. We all thought it would be you and Con—’’ She stopped herself when she saw Belly looking at you, realizing that if she finished her sentence it would hurt you. 
A silence fell and a lump settled in your throat. You brought your drink to your lips, wishing there was alcohol in it. Drowning your sorrows in alcohol is not the solution, but it’s good at temporarily numbing the pain.
I thought that too.
Your parents bought their holiday house in Cousins where you were ten and you had known the Fishers and the Conklins since. Susannah had invited you over to play with her kids — to make friends. Although you were closer to Jeremiah and Belly in age, it was Conrad who got along with you the best. He taught you how to play Uno, came to get you when you swam too far at the beach and helped you clean your dress when stained it eating a blue popsicle. He was always nice to you. Patient and caring. As you got older, he was only looking at you. Everyone noticed, but no one said anything. He’s just always been yours. 
Until he wasn’t. 
You didn’t want to sour the ambiance or steal the attention from the bride-to-be, so you got up and excused yourself to the bathroom. You closed the door, feeling the quiet sanctuary of solitude envelop you. Memories of you and Conrad flooded your mind, each more painful than its predecessor. Nothing would ever compare to the pain this breakup felt. 
Leaning against the sink, you stared at your reflection in the mirror, tears welling up and blurring your vision. You tried to make them go away by fanning your eyes, but they overflowed, carrying with them the weight of five years of heartache.
How could it still hurt after all this time?
With trembling hands, you reached for a tissue, dabbing at your eyes, but the tears kept coming. ‘’Please, stop.’’ 
In the morning, you woke up on a blow-up mattress in Belly’s room. Your eyes were sensitive from crying and red. You tried to cover it with eye-drops and makeup, but when you came down for breakfast and Belly pulled you in a tight hug, you knew you didn’t do a great job. 
Jeremiah eyed the two of you, raising an eyebrow and silently asking what was up, but Belly shook her head. 
The rest of the day went without any downpour of tears. A part of the afternoon was spent tanning under the sun and drinking lemonades, relishing in the last moments of tranquility before the evening's rehearsal dinner. The place was going to get filled with family members and other guests soon and it’ll get very crowded. 
Steven joined you in Belly’s bedroom as you were getting ready for dinner, still wet from being at the beach with the boys. He tried to get a kiss from Taylor, but she pushed him off as he was dripping water all over her makeup bag. Jeremiah laughed in the doorway, blowing a kiss to Belly before parting to his own bedroom to change. 
Although you weren’t the only single person in the room, you never felt more alone.  
At the dinner, you sat listening to the speeches about Belly and Jeremiah’s love. Without surprise, Steve made sure to embarrass the couple and Laurel was unable to hold back her tears when her turn came. Childhood stories and teenage anecdotes about their early moments of relationship made the guests laugh and smile. 
Everything seemed to be going smoothly until Adam inadvertently attributed a story to Belly and Jeremiah, when in fact it was about you and Conrad. The frown on Jeremiah’s forehead as his father continued to speak matched Belly, both of them not knowing what he was talking about. 
‘’Eh, Dad, Belly didn’t come to my prom…’’ Jeremiah whispered to his father. ‘’I went to hers and she was wearing a purple dress, not green.’’ 
Adam paused, his realization dawning slowly. ‘’Oh. You’re right. That was Conrad. I caught him and his girl making out outside the house when they came back. Susannah was out of her mind for allowing her to sleep over…’’  
The revelation hung in the air, accompanied by an uncomfortable silence. Your grip on the glass of wine tightened involuntarily, the pressure causing it to shatter in your hand. Shards of glass cut into your skin as crimson droplets mixed with the spilled wine. 
Beside you, Taylor gasped in concern, her eyes widening at the sight. ‘’Oh my god, are you—’’ 
Ignoring the sting of pain and Taylor’s voice, you excused yourself and hurried inside to tend to your injury. You grabbed some paper towels and pressed them over your cuts. 
Unbeknownst to you, Conrad followed after you. As you stood there, watching the white soak and turn red, you felt his presence behind you. ‘’Don’t do that.’’ His touch was gentle as he took your hand and removed the soiled paper towels, placing them on the counter. ‘’Never apply pressure to an injury that’s not clean of debris. You’ll push them further in,’’ he advised, the doctor in him speaking. ‘’Let me see.’’ 
‘’I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,’’ you insisted, attempting to brush off his concern. ‘’Go back to everyone else, it’s almost time for the best man’s speech.’’ 
But Conrad didn’t budge. ‘’Sit here. I need to check if there’s glass in it.’’ he urged, his tone firm yet caring. 
Knowing there was no way out of this, you sat on one of the kitchen stools and let Conrad check your injury. He turned on the kitchen tap and you hissed as the water hit your freshly cut skin, the cool liquid soothing the sharp ache. 
You sat there as Conrad tended to your wound in silence, his fingers gentle as he inspected your hand for any embedded glass fragments. You couldn't help but notice the warmth of his touch and the upgraded woodsy cologne, their familiarity causing your heart to flutter despite the pain. 
His focus was entirely on your hand, his brow furrowed in concentration. It reminded you of that one time you fell from your bike and he patched up your knee and elbow. Once he made sure there was no glass in it, he went to fetch an antiseptic and gauze from the bathroom.  
As he was wrapping it up, you thanked him. A simple ‘thanks’. 
‘’Be careful drinking wine, next time.’’ Conrad meant it as a light teasing, but you weren’t in a mood to laugh.
‘’Don’t say anything. Please,’’ you pleaded, your voice barely above a whisper. ‘’It hurts seeing you — it really hurts. So much that I didn’t want to come to the wedding, but I couldn’t miss Belly’s big day. I couldn’t do that to her. What type of friend would I be?’’ The weight of your words hung heavy in the air between you, the truth of them echoing in the silence of the room. ‘’But being here, watching her and Jeremiah getting married is killing me because that should have been us,’’ you continued, your voice trembling with emotion. ‘’This house is where we met; every corner holds tons of memories of us and it’s haunting me, torturing me since I got here.’’
‘’I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry—’’ 
‘’You’re sorry? No sorry will be enough,’’ you said. ‘’You told me I'm the love of your life about a million times. You said you would never leave. But you did. I loved you so much— You were it for me, Conrad. It was always you. But now you’re the loss of my life.’’ 
He said your name, but once again, you didn’t let him speak. 
You got down from the stool, the stinging pain in your hand still present. ‘’I should get back outside. Hopefully Laurel knows a way to get blood out of my dress.’’
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min1check · 5 months
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Leto! Joker x side chick! Reader ig…
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1248 words
Barely proofread ts so i’m so sorry if u see errors
pt 2
Description: You work at one of Joker’s clubs and he starts to take an interest in you….
Every night there would be presents and money left on my small table in my small ass kitchen in this small ass apartment. 
It all started when I finally learned the real identity of my boss’s boss’s boss at the club I worked at. I really needed money desperately for my family who lived out of the country. I’m currently working on the papers so they can gain legal presence but until then I need to work hard and study hard. 
At the club I worked at, they paid me better than most places and I would be able to go to university in the daytime and work at night. 
The club was pretty high class, there were many high profile politicians who were VIPs. Given that they were even at a club, they were most if not all sleezebags who tried to hit on the staff to the point that I could file sexual harassment charges. But nevermind that. 
The club was so high class and full of VIPs that I didn’t expect it to be owned by the biggest crime lord in this city, the Joker. This whole city was corrupt in and out. Even if I tried to file those sexual harassment charges I would’ve been shut up instantly. 
When I saw this head of green hair and his pale deathly looking skin and his red lips that I couldn’t tell if it was lipstick or blood, I tried my best to not be noticed by him. 
Though he looked like a corpse he was extremely attractive. Maybe in another universe I would actually try to get at him. Well and if his fellow Clown Queen of Crime didn't exist. She frightens me even more than Joker. Well actually that’s a lie but as a girl I can say that we’re ruthless when it comes to boyfriends and husbands and such. Too blind and in too much love to use actual reason.
Harley’s beautiful though they genuinely look good together. 
I went over to Joker’s table where he was talking to (or more like taunting) his client to drop off the drinks. It seemed that everyone else already knew what his regular drink was and his client’s. 
I tried my best not to mess up or to not loudly drop the drinks because at this moment I could actually not stop my whole body from shaking. They continued talking about their deal without even looking at me. I kept a friendly smile on my face. 
I walked off a bit quickly because I was terrified. Yet I felt like someone was staring right at me. I quickly turned my head and all I could see in that moment was Joker with his usual devilishly grin looking straight at me. My blood ran cold. 
When I was out of his sight I closed my eyes and started to pray. 
‘Dear God, please forgive me for any sins I have committed for I do not want to die tonight. I have too much to live for so please don’t let me die. Thank you for everything you have blessed me with Lord, amen.’ 
I was crying internally. 
Literally was gonna kill myself right then and there. But I brought myself back to reality and back to work. 
Whenever I would come to work the Joker would be there with Harley. 
I literally think I’m going crazy because I think he keeps looking straight at me…. With his girlfriend/wife/partner in crime which was even worse. Yeah he was hot but cheating men are scum of the Earth. And Joker’s a mass murderer and other stuff. To be honest I kinda forgot I’ve been too busy with school to care about politics….
I finally got a shift off and a day off of school today. I’m just gonna sleep and lounge around and be fat. I got out of my bed to go get some more ice cream in my kitchen. 
It felt a bit unnerving when I was in the kitchen, like someone was watching me. I shook off the feeling because I had locks on every single window and door. The crime in my country is a bit bad so Gotham wasn’t that much different. 
As soon as I turned around to go back to my bedroom with my ice cream in hand…
“Boo!” 
“What the fuck?!” I screamed so loud that I dropped my bowl of ice cream and it shattered. 
“The look on your face doll… it’s so… funny!” The intruder was the Joker and he couldn’t and wouldn’t stop laughing at my reaction. 
“…” I just stood there in silence thinking about how that bowl was so expensive…
I didn’t want my floor to be sticky so I started picking up shards of the really expensive bowl. 
“Aww~ Are you.. mad doll~?” He teased me with his usual grin. 
“Not really, I’m just a little sad because this bowl was really expensive.” I sighed to myself. 
“If that’s it then here.” Joker tossed money at me. 
“Um… It’s okay I’ll just work for it back.” My mom always taught me that I shouldn’t accept money and that I should always offer to pay so I gave that money back to him. 
“Just take it Doll, think of it as my~ first~ gift~ to~ you~” he really emphasized on the last part like really. 
He got comfy and sat down on a table chair as I cleaned the floor from the sticky mess. 
That sounds a little wrong, I just mean my ice cream trust…
After cleaning it all, it occurred to me…
Why and how did the Joker get into my apartment…
My blood ran cold. I feel like I could turn into a reptile with how much my blood goes cold. 
“I liked seeing you at my club but I like seeing you in this shaggy apartment more.” He looked at me. 
“Um… how did you get in here?” I spoke quietly afraid I would somehow strike a nerve. 
“It was easy! I broke your window.” He spoke like he just finished climbing Mt. Everest. 
My mouth dropped to the floor. 
Like I tried to close it but it just wouldn't. 
“…” 
“What~? Cat got your tongue Doll?” He grinned. 
I’m actually going to kill myself. 
At this point I hope he pulls out the glock 19 and shoots me….
Wait but all my windows are barred up…
I looked into my living room and realized there was glass everywhere and the metal bar was stretched apart enough where it would fit the Joker perfectly. 
Calculating the cost in my head I actually started to cry. Tears ran down my face. 
I would be fine if I picked up a few extra shifts but I had to study more because finals were coming up. I’ll have to cut down on food and sleep…
The Joker awkwardly patted my back. 
“Here’s some more money Princess.” 
“I.. Cant accept it.” I said between sniffles and pushed his money back to him. 
He suddenly grabbed my head with both his hands and made me stare him in the eye. 
“Take. The. Money. Princess. Or else I’ll shove it down your throat.” His face was way too close to mine. 
“Thank you…” I tried my best to smile while he was still manhandling my head. 
He kissed me out of literally nowhere. 
My blood went cold again. 
I don’t want to be a mistress or some side bitch….
And Harley’s gonna kill me……
Yet it felt so good. 
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sunnitheapollokid · 2 months
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🍓┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ STRAWBERRIES ‘ND ALLERGIES
leo valdez x fem reader <3 lil oneshot / blurb!
📬 sunni’s notes : HEYYOO this is my first leo / pjo fic!!! bc hes actually my real bf (no cap, real not fake) i really hope you enjoy this!! i personally have allergies and wish someone would take care of me like this when i do [cry]
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"oh god," (name) sneezed. "it's spring." she wiped the slight snot trailing off her nose. she held the crate of strawberries for mr. d, since she was on farming duty that day. although, she didn't usually complain about being out in thr fields, since she'd get to steal a few strawberries here and there. she'd only complain if it so happens to land on a spring day.
she couldn't refuse either, "don't do this and you lose your dessert privilages." in the words of mr. d. she stumbled over her feet a bit here and there because of her puffy eyes, catching herself before she could fall face-first on the muddy ground. "holy zues." she muttered or an, "oh my titan." about to fall again, she almost couldn't catch herself,
"oookay cariño!" leo had caught her. the crate still in her hands, leo had his arms around her torso and her waist.
the girl's eyes met leo's honey ones. "leo?" she asked, squinting her eyes with an unsure expression. "yeah?" he replied, a nervous smile that usually made (name) fold like crazy. "you okay sunshine? you literally tripped over yourself around seven times. in a row." he snickered, helping her lift her head and stand up.
"aller- ACHOO!"
"-gies." she sniffled. leo frowned, "ay.. come on, let's get you some meds." he tucked strands of her lose hair out of her face and kissed the side of her temple. (name) knew meds wouldn’t exactly cure her allergies, but she didn’t want to burst leo’s bubble.
"maybe some ambrosia." he kept his hand around her waist as he placed the crate of strawberries down on the ground away from her hands. "what are you doing out?" she asked her boyfriend, on their way to camp's infirmary. leo would usually lock himself in bunker 9, doing gods who knows what. the only person, to ever see him in days in a row would be (name).
"you didn't come around, so i looked for you." he beamed, (name) mirrored the smile, her nose and honestly, whole face was red. leo laughed, "you look so cute amor." she rolled her eyes, "my suffering is cute to you?" she shot. leo shrugged, noticing her sniffles. he offered her the side of his tank, it was dirty already with all the grease anyway. wiping her nose slightly at the grease-covered tank, she thanked him.
the two have been dating for a while, but (name) never mentioned her said allergies to him. “are you sure you’re okay cariño?” he asked, she didn’t respond, about to doze off. he snickered, “(name)!” he called, she shot awake. “wh-what?” she asked, frustration growing. leo rolled his eyes, “what are you even allergic to?” he asked with his brows furrowed and a smile planted.
“ah.. pollen, i think?” she questioned, leaning her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder and burying her face in his neck. leo noticed her tired state and picked her up bridal-style. “yeah, you definitely can’t walk.” he smiled, peppering her with kisses. “hey!! i have snot!!” she yelled, laughing at the touch and in attempts to push his face away.
“don’t care!” he kissed her on the cheek “just,” then on her temple, “snot!” then her lips. “leo!!” she yelled, a laugh escaping her lips.
“you sound cute when your nose is stuffed.” leo remarked, “and i stand by ‘you think my suffering is cute?’” leo smiled, “maybe.”
“wooow. good boyfriend you are.”
“i try.”
the two arrived at the infirmary shortly after, will standing before them with a bandaid container in his hands. “what’s going on lovebirds?” will asked. leo averted his gaze to a sleepy (name) then will.
“allergies.”
“ACHOO!”
will winced, “we can’t really—“ (name) shot him a look. a ‘let him have this.’ kind of look. will sighed as he exchanged faces with (name). “i’ll take care of her.” will snickered, taking (name)’s arm.
“w-wait, i’m still on farming duty.” she turned to leo. leo shook his head, “i’ll work something out.” he spoke, giving her a kiss before heading out of the infirmary.
will turned to (name) as he helped her down on one of the beds. “when are you going to tell him you can’t really cure allergies?” she giggled, “never.”
— end of the day.
after a good nap, (name) felt better already. she got up and thanked will and everybody else in the infirmary and went to go look for leo.
she looked at bunker 9, nobody.
the heph cabin, also nobody.
where in zues’ name was he?
“leo! stop stealing the strawberries!” she heard piper’s voice from across camp. she turned her head to whichever direction the aphrodite daughter’s voice came from. and at farm, there was leo, on strawberry duty. her jaw dropped slightly, realizing what he meant by ‘i’ll figure something out.’
she watched him carry more crates than she could ever carry, and his tank not just covered in grease anymore but sweat. how long had he been working?
as she stared, leo turned to her, probably feeling eyes on him. he beamed, “(name)!!”
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rebouks · 4 months
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Previous // Next
Hi Alex!
I don’t think it’s stupid or cheesy to miss someone, I miss you too! Going back to normal after being on holiday is always horrible, especially after this one, and especially having to go back to school, I’m not a big fan! Do you go to school too? I wanted to ask if you did but I couldn’t… it’s nothing personal, by the way, sometimes I just can’t speak to people and I don’t really know why. I thought it was my decision if I did or didn’t before I met you but maybe not. My parents n’ the teachers at school call it selective mutism but I won’t bore you with all that crap.
I can’t see your new teeth but they grow fast so maybe next time! If they don’t maybe you could get some gold one’s like your dad has, unless you don’t wanna look like a pirate lol.. my littlest sister has four teeth now, and I have all my big teeth! I haven’t counted the twins though cos they’d probably bite me if I tried haha!!
Ava is the tiny one with the blonde pigtails! She’s cute but she still sleeps and poops a lot haha, she’s sorta chill though and definitely doesn’t cry as much as Wren and Byrd used to (have you noticed we’re all named after birds yet? I guess my parents thought it was cute since our last name is Finch) Wren’s the ginger one with plaits! She’s pretty funny but she’s super grumpy sometimes and likes to bite and kick (not me though, she loves me) I think it’s cos she’s tired a lot cos she never sleeps at night, kinda like dad.. they’re twins but Byrd is way different, I couldn’t get a picture of him cos he kept running off, he’s crazy like that but he’s super snuggly and loves playing doctor! He likes to pretend to break my legs so I can’t go anywhere then fix them for me haha. Brothers and sisters are fun but they can be a pain in the butt sometimes! We have a cat called Lou too, his full name is Toulouse and he likes to bring us leaves from the garden and scream about ‘em, and he loves stealing food when you’re not looking.
Dad’s been teaching mom how to cook cos she sucks at it (don’t tell her I said that though cos I always pretend it’s not THAT bad) she’s sorta getting better though so I suppose the whole practice makes perfect thing pays off eventually. I got a school project to make a lame volcano that I didn’t wanna do as well, but my parents made me do it anyway.. we all know that real volcanoes aren’t full of baking powder and vinegar though so I dunno if there was much point to it but they seemed to think it was important so I did it anyway, at least I got a picture of it “going off” I guess. No one likes homework, even if it’s supposed to be fun, right?!
It’s cool you set Amber free!! I’m sure she’s happier wherever she is now so I guess you could just think of that when you miss her? The rocks are way cooler anyway! My aunt Aspen has loads of crystals too, sometimes she even charges them in the sun or the full moon.. I keep forgetting to ask her why but I’ll try and remember so I can tell you next time!
Hahaa your poor dad with those birds! I’ll definitely keep the picture cos it’s hilarious, Wren found it the funniest but don’t worry, I’ll keep the picture safe from her sticky hands! I have a hiding spot in the attic for all the stuff I don’t want them touching. I guess birdwatching is sorta fun sometimes but you’ve gotta be quiet (easy for me I guess.. hah!) I’m not sure there’s any other birds round here other than seagulls since we live right next to the sea, those are the ones you can hear the most anyway cos they never shut up! My dad jokes that he used to be a seagull in a past life cos he’s loud and greedy like they are lol.. he’s been building me a treehouse too, I bet that’d be good for birdwatching!! It’ll be super cool once he’s finished but it’s taking ages cos he mostly does it all by himself, I try n’ help sometimes but I’m still too small to carry or lift most things.. I wanna be as strong as him one day, he can build and fix almost anything (he swears a lot during it though haha!) Do you ever think about what you wanna be when you grow up? I don’t really think about that sorta stuff cos working sounds boring, especially if it’s as lame as school!!
I’m ten, by the way! How old are you and when’s your birthday? Mine’s February 22nd. I don’t think I have a favourite food, anything my dad makes is amazing cos he’s a good cook and my mom makes the BEST pancakes! We’re always stuffed after dinner but dad says (lies) that pudding goes in a different part of your stomach so there’s always room for cake haha.. I think I like it best when he makes spicy food but Wren and Byrd hate it so he doesn’t make stuff like that too often. It’s fun to see how much you can eat before your mouth feels like it’s on fire and I’ve decided I’m gonna beat him one day so he better watch out!!!
I didn’t know what to write at first but I guess I sorta ended up writing quite a lot since I had some catching up to do! Are you and your dad on holiday in the tower or are you living there for now? It sorta sounded like you’ve been there a long time, where do you usually live? What kinda stuff does your dad dig up for work? It’d be cool if he dug up dinosaur bones!! I watched something like that recently and they were HUGE!
It’s hard to think of questions on the spot but you can talk about anything you want too! I probably owe you a million answers as well so you can ask anything you want too! I had fun reading your letter and I’m glad we can be pen-pals even if we don’t get to see each other! Maybe next time we meet in person I’ll be able to say something, but writing would still be fun too so I guess it doesn’t really matter, right?
Love Robin c:
ps. I’m keeping the funny photo of you yelling at your dad and there’s nothing you can do about it!!
pps!! I don’t have a way to print out photos yet otherwise I’d have sent some new ones. Dad gave me an old polaroid ages ago but it’s still broken, his friend said he might be able to fix it though so hopefully I can use that next time. Mom said you can have some of our old ones and the ones from her disposable camera whilst we were on holiday for now though so I’ll send those to you as soon as they come back!
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bouncybongfairy · 2 months
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Sleepy
Simon (Ghost) Riley x Fem Reader
Summary: After going days without sleep, you start to experience the effects of sleep deprivation: anxiety, hallucinations, irritability and lack of appetite. Ghost helps calm you down and rest after an intense mission.
Word Count: 1.0k+
TW: Protective Ghost, Comfort fluff, Soft Ghost
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
As a new recruit, you were getting chewed up and spit out everyday. The days were slowly starting to blur together and you weren’t sleeping well. The tiniest of sounds scaring you awake at least twice a night. Or having recurring night terrors from more gruesome missions. Everyone on the task force was starting to get concerned, it was evident you were suffering from a lack of rest. The group, you included, were walking back from a mission. You were drenched in blood after going completely feral in combat. Even strangers, you were walking ahead of everyone. Making it clear that you didn’t want to converse with anyone. Walking past Soap to get to your room, his eyes widened and looked over at Ghost and Keegan. 
“What happened?” he asks. 
“I don’t know, she just went crazy,” Ghost sighed, the situation clearly stressing him out.
“Crazy is a nice way to put it,” Keegan scoffed, Ghost shot him a death glare but he continued anyway, “don’t look at me like that bro, you were there. You saw for yourself, she bit and I repeat: bit that guy’s finger off,” he defended himself. 
“y/n did that? You know she hasn't eaten since last night? And when she did it was only peanut butter and an apple,” Soap said, taken back by this report. Ghost gave both of them a dirty look before walking to your shared room. 
He walked in and saw you sitting on your bed. You haven't taken any of your gear off, just sitting in dark silence. Unlike others in your platoon, Ghost had a first hand look into why your behavior was so erratic. All he hears at night is you tossing and turning, not even mentioning your night terrors. He just pretends he doesn’t notice, he couldn’t ignore it anymore. Shedding his gear but leaving his cotton mask on before walking over to you. He rests his hand on your shoulder, making you jump up. Slightly disoriented from being broken out of a haze, you pull out your knife. Ghost grabbed your wrist, gripping it so tight the blade drops from your hand. Slowly starting to come back to reality, sinking to your knees and crying. He helps you to the ground, letting you rest your weight against him. 
“I’m sorry,” you kept mumbling weakly. Still having full combat gear on was making you sweat. He was slowly taking your stuff off, unloading your gun and tossing it onto his bed while coaxing you down. 
“It’s okay, don’t worry. I’ll take care of you,” he said, standing you up and walking you to the bathroom. 
Sleep deprivation was starting to kick in, you haven’t eaten anything in a day. After the burst of adrenaline on the mission, you could barely walk. Sitting on the bathroom floor, enjoying the cold tile against your hot and flushed skin. Ghost turned on the water, letting the tub fill up then turning his attention back to you. Resting his hand on your forehead and cringing when he felt how warm you were. He lifts you up bridal style, letting your feet dip into the water first. You jump and cling onto him so tight, it makes two of your fingernails start bleeding. 
“Holy fuck it’s freezing,” you gasp, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“I know but you have to break the fever, and you’ll throw up if you take any medication right now,” he said, trying to pry you off him. 
“Please,” you pleaded with him, death gripping his neck and wrapping your legs around his waist. 
After struggling trying to get you off, he was becoming overwhelmed. Your face was tucked into his neck and your cheek was resting on his shoulder. Breathing hard against his ear while unknowingly rubbing yourself against his erection. Once he came to the conclusion that he couldn’t get you off, he got into the water. Figuring he was killing two birds with one stone by killing his hard-on with the freezing water and getting you into the tub. You struggled underneath him for a while, until the small amount of strength you had was gone. Teeth chattering and sniffling as you cried quietly, keeping your grip around his neck. 
“I’ve gone fucking crazy,” you whispered, ghost looked down at you. 
“No love, you’ve just gone days without sleep,” he said, wetting his hands and whipping the blood off your face. Trying his best to untangle the strands that were caked to your skin. 
“Stop. You know, like my brain is fucked up. I’m fucked up,” you cried, working yourself up again. Hyperventilating and trying to get out of the tub. 
He changed your positions, sitting up and pressing his back against the tub. Pulling your back into his chest and changing the subject. Resting his chin on the top of your head while he talked, gripping your wrist so you couldn’t get out. 
“You know I used to have night terrors because my brother would scare me awake?” he said, using his thumb to stroke your hand. 
“Yeah?” you mumbled. 
“Mmhm, but I grew out of it, just like you will eventually,” he said. 
“I have blood on my hands,” you slurred, at first he thought you meant metaphorically. Until he saw you looking down at your palms, trying to wash the ‘blood’ off. Ghost isn’t a rookie and knows what sleep deprived hallucinations look like. In his experience, validation rather than conflict helps deescalate things.
“Let me wash it off, don’t worry about it,” he said, rubbing your hands under the water. 
After a few moments of this, you finally fell asleep against his chest. He got out of the water, changed the two of you into dry clothes before joining you to get some rest
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dreamwritersworld · 1 year
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The chore. (Sully family x reader)
hey! this is my first story so bear with me this is gonna be a slightly sad one 💕 also this does have scenes from shows i definitely was inspired by and used some of the situation to go based off of the story :)
Being the overlooked sibling was a difficult role to hold. Only time I was ever acknowledged was when I was constantly being yelled at and told what to do even if it wasn’t my fault. I am the twin of lo’ak but with his crazy antics it just makes it even harder to get the approval of my father.
I had to teach myself everything. Observing others actions and having to figure it out. Even with the sly compliments I’ve received, my parents just brushed it off. As you can imagine it only got worse when I got older but when Tuk came it was like a light was brought to me. I was always distant with my siblings no matter how hard I tried to just have a relationship with them they were so tight I couldn’t find any space for me to be included. Dad constantly held me at a higher role saying “y/n you need to be strong! what don’t you get? stop being so reckless and bringing your siblings into things.” Majority of the time I was yelled at for things that weren’t my fault, I just was caught in at the wrong time or blamed for not watching them. It all didn’t seem fair. It was not fair.
I notice how my parents treated me differently from my sisters and to say it didn’t hurt is a complete lie. It hurts all the time, constantly being put on the back burner hurts. Even Lo’ak and Neteyam got off easier than me. I don’t know why my father holds so much resentment to me or why he puts me to the side like I’m a stray but it wasn’t only him I’m silently mad at, it’s my mom too. Why? How could she sit there and witness it , not see it. I can’t even be fully upset I just must sit there and smile and just try better or as dad says “you need to start using your brain and do better, for THIS family!” I just wish I got the dad my sisters got. I wanted the dad who tended to me and my feelings instead of the dad who told me to suck it up saying it wasn’t ok to cry or show emotions.
Now thinking of it, the only time we talk or well when they talk to me is when they order me around or when dad yells at me. It’s become a daily thing that I take care of Tuk every since she was a baby it became my job. Not that I wouldn’t want to take care of my beautiful sunshine , it’s just keeps me tired sometimes but she’s the only one that truly knows me.
Today I actually have to go look over the war and observe from a far with my brothers but that’s in a couple of hours.
I decided to take a break from practicing and teaching Tuk new things for a quick game of hide n seek. This will only improve her quickness and alertness so it’ll help her. Only it’s been a while since I last saw her run in the forest so I whistled out for her, patiently waiting for her whistle back, something I taught her in order to hear that she’s ok! When I did hear a whistle I looked down and quietly went into the bush to catch her. “THE TICKLE MONSTER IS HERE!” Hearing her sweet giggle kept me strong. I need to keep her safe and it was getting harder to be around when she ran off with our other siblings getting into trouble. It was coming near the time to head with the war party so I hopped on my Ikran and flew to where I had to meet my brothers. We WERE spotting until Lo’ak decided to stupidly go down. Neteyam and I quickly went down for him with zero hesitation and tried to get him to get out. “Lo’ak cmon this isn’t funny I’m not kidding. we have to go. you don’t know what your doin-“ I said trying to stop my brother from doing anything more reckless, that was until we got hit.
All I could hear was ringing , trying to gasp for more air feeling blood rush down my body. I slowly opened my eyes seeing my dad take the boys and hearing Lo’ak “Dad! Dad y/n was with us! We have to get y/n!” He’s leaving. He’s leaving me. Knowing I’m down here. “She shouldn’t have been down there either. She’ll find a way home. We have to go.” In that entire moment my heart shatters. I wanted to just give up right then and there, everything that I’ve feared being true, that he didn’t give a single shit about me. I looked down to my side having a slight gash and my arm having a even larger gash. As I was escaping I can feel everything burn and my entire body fighting to even stay awake until I wasn’t. I decided to just take a break before I’d fall off my Ikran from exhaustion. Once I woke up it was already eclipse so I made my way to the healing tent and decided to just stitch myself up in order to avoid the trouble of pulling anyone out or getting more in trouble.
I never did this before. I mean I have observed and learned from a far since no one wants to teach me but stitching is new. Yelping in pain every once and awhile the needle pierced through my skin but once I was done I was only fueled by anger. So much pent up anger I didn’t even know I let go on for that long, just sitting in the silence trying to calm myself down before having to be yelled at once again for something I tried to fix not even that just that but, for not coming home before eclipse even when my own father left me in pain when I needed him. Actually considering the thought of leaving the forest and finally finding a place I can call home. I had already planned an emergency bag…this isn’t the first time I have had these thoughts, but this might actually be my last straw. Only reason why I didn’t leave was because of my baby sister. My thoughts were soon interrupted.
“Y/n you were ordered to SPOT. LOOK AT THE MESS YOU MADE-“ For a moment, for a slight moment. I actually was gonna take all the hits he sent my way but my anger, frustration towards him. towards his voice. towards his stupid orders. towards everything about him. “I’m. Still. Not. Home. I was injured and YOU left me out there to die.” silence was the only thing there as I stared at my parents resisting ever urge to cry tears of anger something I got used to as a kid being told crying was a weakness and it wasn’t ok if I cried, it wasn’t normal. “I-I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t see you, I-I-“ now hearing the ashamed feeling in my dad’s voice, but I didn’t feel bad because I KNOW he saw me bloody lying on the floor. I KNOW he had enough time. I KNOW he didn’t hesitate to leave me. And I KNOW he’s gonna deny it.
“HOW?! I heard it all dad. I heard Lo’ak calling for you to come back for me. I saw you look at me and you were completely fine in leaving me. You’re a liar and a shitty fucking dad….why tf would you leave me?…You are fucking dead to me.” Hearing my mom cut in “y/n no you don’t mean that!” I looked at her smiled and looked back at my dad “I mean every.fucking.word. You’re dead to me “Dad”. You know I have a lot of regrets…in my life but I gotta tell you Dad being your daughter is at the top of my list.” I took a moment to finally see his emotions…he was crying… to this I scoffed and laughed. “oh now you want to cry? yea you’re just draining. You just like going around to suck the spirit out of everyone.”
I try to stop myself , I try to hold back but the more I do the more bottled up feelings come out “no no y/n i see y-“ anger erupts even more “no don’t say that! Stop saying that! You drained me. And it fucking hurts dad. You. Don’t. Love. Me. You left me. When I needed you! And a real father someone who cares would never throw me to the side the way you did…you always had your favorites. You always blamed ME. It didn’t matter if I was there or not I was the one to blame. You don’t even know anything about me. You don’t care about me. You do not love me.” Tears fall. tears that I didn’t even know I had. So I laugh at them. I witness the regret and guilt rush to my parents head realizing how they truly forgot they even had y/n as a daughter instead of just a baby sitter or someone who just followed their orders. This was the moment they realized something inside their daughter was broken and it can never be fixed.
“I gave you all. Every part of me, I have given to you. Hoping that one day you’d open your arms to me and until that moment I held a patient smile. I know now that, the idea I dreamed of will never happen. Even when I would TRY talking to you, all your ever did was push me away. So while I did everything you asked of me and more. You considered me the chore, the job you didn’t want to do. Don’t worry now, I do not want your excuses because up until you left me to die, you WERE my everything.”
I walked out but not without noticing my siblings on the side I could see the realization hit their faces, realizing that they too forgot they had a sister. The sister that took care of Tuk, handled everything she was dealt with, and more importantly the sibling they also pushed away, the sister they didn’t even want to hear stories about when Tuk was talking. Then I see Tuk my sunshine, I smile taking in her baby face one last time.
Then I rush to “home” to get my bag that I packed, I’ve been waiting for this very moment, just waited for the bandaid to rip. I hoped that a moment like this would never occur, something in my heart broke knowing that it didn’t matter anymore it was bound to happen. I called for my Ikran, crying my eyes out realizing this was really it, and that I would have to tear away from all I knew in order to finally grow and be happy. That was until I felt a tug on my leg stopping me from getting on my Ikran. Tuk. “please y/n don’t leave. Don’t leave me. You have taught me everything please y/n don’t leave home. Or just take me with you.” My heart breaks all over again looking at the child that I practically raised even if she always returned to my parents arms at night or held by them in the evening. She’s the only thing that held me here, my baby sister, my sunshine. “Tuk I see you sister but, I can’t take you with me, I can’t let you leave your home.” I can only hear her heart shatter even more. “No sister. you will take me. your all I need right now. It’s always been us please. I won’t do anything without you.” I look back and forth contemplated for a little and then…agreed. I held her close and wrapped a blanket around her, preparing for the ride.
Again this is my first story so please be understanding! :) hope you enjoyed it 💕
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ell-alexanderarnold · 4 months
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Spinning
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Summary: Trent meets Y/n when she’s at her lowest and helps her to find herself again until she falls unrequitedly in love.
Angst & Fluff
Warnings: Reader has mental health issues
Note: I listened to this song while I was writing this ❤️‍🩹 + If you’re feeling alone or something like that, remember that you’re loved and you’re not alone in what you’re battling with 🫶🏻
﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋
It was just a normal day for Trent but for you it was more. You fell in love, with a guy who didn’t even want you. He just wanted to be loved. And so did you, more than ever. Turns out in the end that you were just a distraction, a person who he could lash out his feelings to, like it was nothing.
Whatever you thought you and Trent had, wasn’t love. It wasn’t real.
The day Y/n and Trent met
It was raining outside, it was cold as well. Trent hated the cold and wished he stayed home this day. Y/n on the other hand liked the cold but not the rain.
It was a real challenge for Y/n to get up from the bed this day. She just wanted to lay there all day, she liked the loneliness but still felt miserable.
Y/n got out of the bed and went on a walk outside, eyes still red and puffy from crying. The rain fell down on her and she wished she stayed at home. Y/n couldn’t help but cry, everything in her life felt meaningless at the moment.
She kept her head down as she walked and suddenly she dropped her phone, and figured she’d walked into someone. How embarrassing.
“Oh I’m so sorry.” Y/n apologised and the person handed her the phone.
“No worries!” He said and as you looked at him he noticed your red puffy eyes.
“Crazy whether today huh?” Y/n remarked and looked him in the eyes. They were brown and very pretty.
“Yeah, right.” He answered.
“What’s your name?” He added.
“Y/n, I live down the street.” You replied and the stranger shake his hand and said
“I’m Trent.”
You looked up to see that it stopped raining, and that’s how the story started.
Once you met Trent everything in your life stopped raining. Or so you thought.
-
From that day Trent could tell from your eyes that you’ve been crying. He wanted to know what was wrong and he didn’t even know you.
Months went by and you met Trent met each other on walks now and then, one thing lead to another and you were asked on a date.
You were nervous and overwhelmed, you couldn’t believe that this could happen to someone like you. You somehow felt special for the first time in a long time. Because Trent cared about you.
“I’m sorry you feel that way.” He expressed after you just ranted out all of your thoughts and feelings about your life. You were overthinking if you maybe shared too much, but you trusted him.
“It’s okay.” You answered and forced him a smile.
“How?” You implored.
“I think we’re alike in someways you know?” Trent observed, both of you chuckled.
“I mean I relate to that stuff with loneliness, you just want to be wanted. But I like being alone but not for too long.” He spoke up and you nodded in response.
“For a long time I’ve felt like there was no point in telling anyone what was happening inside of me.” You revealed and as you spoke Trent took your hand and draw small circles on your palm. He could see your eyes well up and wanted nothing more for you thank to be safe and okay.
“Y/n, listen to me. You are enough, okay? Don’t think that no one wants to listen to you, I do. I’ll be here for as long as you want.” Trent said softly as you dried your tears on your cheek.
You didn’t expect to cry on your first date, but it was something pure about the whole situation. You and Trent, two broken hearts are just beginning your “love story”.
4 months later
You’ve grown to love him and yourself.
You walked around in his house in his shirt that smells like him knowing that the smell of his perfume will soon fade, like his feelings for you.
You don’t know what’s going on anymore. You’re not in a relationship but you’re still here, in his house. Were you two just close friends? Who made love on the weekends, kissed each other whilst watching a movie one of you just put on to ignore the silence?
After months of being honest with each other you two couldn’t ignore the reality anymore. Deep down you knew you weren’t feeling better mentally, it was just Trent who made your days brighter and took your torment away.
For him you helped him feel at ease. He loved how he could tell you about things that happened in a match, he would be so angry and frustrated. But you were there for him. The greatest distraction he’s ever had. To you, he was the greatest thing you’ve ever had.
Then there was this silence.
“I don’t think I can go on like this any longer Trent.” You firmly said and looked at him, watching him close his eyes in frustration.
“I wish you wouldn’t look at me like that.” He mumbled.
“Like what?” You challenged.
“Like you could love me.” Trent angrily told you and you were shocked by his words.
“Don’t say that.” You sulked.
“Well, we can’t be together and we can’t be apart so I don’t know what to do Y/n.” He shrugged and sighed.
“It doesn’t matter anymore Trent!” You blustered and tears started flowing down your cheeks.
“The night you told me you love me,” You said laughed in disbelief. “I fucking believed you.”
Trent felt speechless. Perhaps he went too far with leading you on, thinking he loved you but the more he thought about it he just wanted to feel loved. He didn’t want to love.
“Well, then I’m sorry Trent that I loved you and it made you cruel.” You cried and began to walk towards the door before he stopped you.
“Y/n, I’m sorry.” Trent murmured but you didn’t listen.
“I should’ve never told you how I felt that night at the restaurant.” You said quietly as you were ready to leave him.
“Y/n, please.” He sighed.
“It was a long time ago anyways, it doesn’t matter anymore and yet I cannot let it go Trent.” You taunted and stood by the door, waiting for this daydream to end.
“Before you go,” He hesitated. “Don’t walk past me like a stranger next time I see you, please.He finished.
You laughed in response, I mean how were you supposed to live without him when you started living again because of him. Why didn’t he love you like you love him?
“Wasn’t it nice? To feel wanted even if it was just for a while?” Trent questioned, bringing up the feeling you felt before meeting him - to feel wanted.
“It wasn’t real Trent.” You said into the silence.
“But yes, it was nice.” You sniffled and looked down at the floor.
You stepped outside, it started raining once you started walking. Now everything was raining again, you lost him. He was the one you loved, the only one.
It pains you that he saved you but he never knew and he’ll never will.
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onlymingyus · 5 months
Text
Tied to your Body (Patreon Exclusive Teaser)
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pairing; kim mingyu x f reader
genre; smut (minors dni), fluff (somehow)
warnings; TA!Mingyu, University Student!Reader, Camboy!Mingyu, Professor Joshua Hong (that's a warning), eating/drinking, alcohol, masturbation (m & f), lots of dirty talk, masturbation on stream, pictures taken and sent of dick/pussy, talk of sexual health, aftercare, Dom!Mingyu, sub!reader, Dom/sub dynamics, color system, subspace, dumbification, praise, pet names, degradation, crying, spitting on pussy, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, cum eating, some light impact play -- I think that is everything.
w/c; 13.3k and some change (1.4 k this teaser)
a/n; I love camboy love sick Mingyu. thank you to @onlyhuis for betareading this for me! a huge thank you to @onlyseokmins for making the instagram graphics for me! thank you for your patience in waiting for this one. I really needed this break.
this fic is a Patreon Exclusive subscribe to my Patreon and click here
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Running the back of your pen along your bottom lip, you sigh, finally leaning back from your desk. You had been looking at the same page of your physics textbook for an hour. It felt like your brain was beginning to feel like jello. A familiar ding from your cellphone made you bite down on the end of your pen as you reached for the phone, the corners of your lips pulling up into a slight smirk. 
ariespic_46 is live
You tried not to waste your money. It was hard enough to be a college student and to share an apartment instead of living in a dorm but sometimes spoiling yourself was important. It was hard enough trying to balance a part-time job and a full-time course work schedule; you rarely found time to go to parties and the relationship pool was limited. 
You had dated during your time at the university but it had been brief and no one had ever kept your attention for longer than a month. Over time, classes became more important and you found other ways to find pleasure, even if it cost you a few extra bucks a month to indulge in. 
Opening your laptop, you find yourself entranced by the man on your screen as he smiles, leaning back in his chair. He never showed anything above his nose. You wished you could see his entire face. With as handsome as he was from the nose down, you were drooling over this camboy almost daily. 
As ariespic_46 lets out a breath, you find yourself doing the same as you lay on your side on your bed in the dark. He was dressed in some tan dress pants, a white button up that was already unbuttoned down to the top of his abs, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He looked like a dream. You couldn’t help but look over every detail that you were privy to. He had the cutest freckle on the end of his nose and sharp canines that he bit down into his bottom lip with when he was especially horny, like now. 
“Hi pups. I missed you.” 
A small squeak slips from your lips when the man finally talks. He was such a tease. He would sometimes just sit there for minutes while the chat went crazy, asking for things, just his biceps flexing as he stretched out his fingers in clear amusement at how needy the chat was. 
“Aw, you missed me too, didn’t you? That’s cute.” 
The man leans his head back and you try to move your head so you can see more of him but as usual, it's in vain. He had his camera set up for this. He didn’t want his face fully on the screen and while you could respect it, you were still curious. 
“It was a long day. You have no idea. I’m all wound up... Having to be this professional in front of others while I think about doing this later. God…” The man grins, his canines on display, as he lifts his hips, undoing his dress pants. “And then the teasing I put up with on a daily fucking basis. I don’t think she even realizes she’s doing it.” 
You furrow your brows. He talked about some girl on his streams sometimes. You didn’t mind; no one seemed to. It got him even more excited to think about this girl who teased him during the day. You wondered what it would be like to be her—to be the one on his mind all day and night. The one that made him want to wrap his hand around his thick cock and stroke it until he came so hard. You imagine you are her sometimes; he makes it easy for you to, with how he talks to the stream. 
“Wanna put you on your knees in front of me for teasing me like that?" 
Watching ariespic_46 closely, your eyes follow as he kicks his pants somewhere off the screen. The man smirked, leaning back in his chair, knowing eyes were on him. He could see the viewer count and it never disappointed him. Your eyes were moving over the bit of his chest that was exposed as his fingers undid the rest of his shirt, leaving him in his dress shirt and briefs as a long, sighing groan slipped from his lips. 
“Can’t help but think how pretty you’d look if you were. So fucking pretty every day and acting so innocent like you don’t realize I’m looking at you.” 
You sigh, your bottom lip jutting out, as the man talks to the girl through you and the other viewers. You feel a bit of shame as you run your fingers along your stomach and play with the tie of your pajama pants but it’s not enough to stop you. 
Glancing at the comments, you can’t help but agree with a few of them, saying they’d never ignore him. You couldn’t imagine ignoring someone like ariespic_46, not on purpose. There was no one who went to your university who came close to looking like him. 
When the man wraps his fingers around his cock for the first time, you have to close your eyes to the sound that slips out between his pretty lips. You loved the sounds he made. He never tried to keep them quiet or to himself. He just let them be as erotic as possible and it made you drip around your fingers that were now slowly sliding through your folds. 
“Are you being a good girl for me? My pretty little pup? Are you gonna cum for me when I cum tonight?” 
Whimpering, you nod even though he can’t see you. You weren’t one who took the time to comment while he touched himself and spoke. You knew he wouldn’t recognize names from chat anyway. He did, however, acknowledge tips and that you did when you let yourself think with your pussy more than your brain. 
“Mm, thank you, Nabi.” 
Hearing part of your username on ariespic_46’s lips as he moans, pre-cum slipping over his fingers, makes you press your lips together. You hadn’t sent him much—just $30—but for a student, that was more than you should be spending on porn. 
Pressing your nose against your arm, you adjust yourself on the bed, watching the man groan louder as he got closer to his climax. You had started to be able to tell when it was going to happen. The way his mouth fell open, the way his groans got more urgent and drawn out, his fingers of his right hand gripping the arm of his chair for dear life as he stroked himself through his climax with his left. 
Most nights when you watched his streams, you would end up doing exactly what ariespic_46 wanted and cum soon after he had but other nights, like tonight, you would end up panting as your thighs pressed together out of need. You knew there was always more, even as the man on the screen laughed, stretching his fingers out to show the camera all the cum dripping from him. 
"Fuck, that was good. I have to get cleaned up. Bye, baby. See you next time.” 
The stream stated it had ended, and you find yourself on your back with your phone in one hand, waiting for what came next. Not only did you tip because it made you feel good to hear even your username on the man’s lips but also for what he would give you. A notification stating you had a direct message from ariespic_46 pop’s up at the top of your screen and you find yourself giggling like a teenager getting a message from a crush. 
ariespic_46: have a good night, nabi 🦋 thank you🖤 [picture attached] 
Staring at the message for a moment, you bite at your bottom lip before your thumbs move over the keyboard to reply. You knew you didn’t have to, and that he probably didn’t check replies but it felt important to you. 
nabi.wings: anytime, thank you for the stream ❣️
Taking a breath, you finally press down on the link for the picture, only to moan at the sight. It was one thing to see his cock and fingers covered in cum on the stream but it was another entirely to see it in a picture like this. Now was when you couldn’t help but let your fingers wander lower. Now you could let yourself let go of any shame you were feeling before and just let yourself pretend for a little while that he had cum this much for just you. 
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