#seventeen choi seungcheol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

loserlvrss · 4 months

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꒰ 𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐒𝐘𝐂𝐇𝐄 ꒱ 최승철 & 최한설

summary : you'd gone on a couple of dates between your schedule of running a cafe, complications emerging when two of your closest flings admit their love and leave you confused

genre : fluff, angst, cafe-owner!reader, artist!vernon, surgeon!scoups, bestfriend!dino, bestfriend!seungkwan, love-triangle, comedy, multi x afab!reader tws : language, suggestive content, emetophobia, reader is very insecure, anxiety, mentions of sex author notes : for @mintchocosan. i sincerely hope it's what you were looking for. i'm so down bad for these two men, istg it was so difficult to decide. thank you so much for requesting! i'm so so so sorry it took too fucking long :c forgive me & thank u for being understanding, happy holidays & new years. word count : 9.2k

“chan,” you turned, watching as the dark-haired man began to audaciously ignore you, a smile to his face, “can you help the customer, please?”

at that moment, another employee came from the back, swinging the door dramatically against its hinges and sighing out. he passed chan on the way, smacking the back of his head and walking to the register. chan yelped in protest — his eyes shooting everything that wasn’t suitable for the friendly atmosphere of your café at him in retaliation.

the man proceeded to take the order, the customer stifling a laugh at the antics of your best — and basically only — friends.

he joined the two of you with a slip of paper, handing it off to you and leaning against the counter. he sighed over-dramatically again, earning another side-eye from chan. “y/n, why must you hire such incompetent people? you should take it out of his paycheck, or something — give me a bonus for being so good to your café.”

you chuckled, pouring the heated milk into the drink you were making, “seungkwan… play nice.”

chan scoffed, “yeah, seungkwan, play nice.”

“you both make the day go by a little faster,” seungkwan boasted silently, chan doing the same at your side as he put a lid on the cup you had just passed. “don’t let it get to your big heads, though.”

“chan does have a big head! in fact, if it got any larger we might have to order a custom hat for his bad hair — correction, normal hair days.”

chan's gaze deepened on the older of the pair, you laughed and took the finished product from the younger, handing it to the waiting customer. they thanked you and walked off; probably to join the bustling streets on their way into work — like you've been at since 4am.

now that the only customer's were the ones getting a morning study-sesh in. chan jumped at seungkwan, miming a kick you'd see in action movies from time-to-time; when you'd have time to indulge in self-care and actually watch one.

you watched the pair play-fight for a minute before your phone pinged in the front pocket of your tan-colored apron. your hand reached in and pulled it out, looking at the lit up lock screen of linked hands. you read the notification, barely registering that it happened to be outside of your head.

"yeah," seungkwan took the phone from your hand, your attempt to get it back in vain when he held it above his head, "we should be free for lunch, but why are you asking y/n? we all eat together anyways."

chan hummed, pressing his lower back into the countertop and crossing his arms, 'i'm actually not sure if i will be. i've been seeing this doctor recently, his schedule is so hectic that i drop everything for him when he texts me — " another ping rang out, cutting him off briefly, "ah! that must be him right now!"

seungkwan moved excitedly, reading the text aloud for the whole of the place to hear, "i just had a really stressful night and i just want to see your face, let me know if you can meet." his mouth dropped open, "he even put a heart! chan, look at this!"

"stop!" you whined, chan lifting from his relaxed position and holding you back effortlessly. he nodded for the older to go on with typing — seemingly from his facial expressions — a well thought-out reply.

"guys, i'm so busy. don't say yes right now. seungkwan, you'll have no fingers if you continue to type — oh my god, i'm going to fire you both. we won't be friends anymore, seungkwan, chan, stop it right now — i’m serious."

seungkwan handed the phone back casually, obviously ignoring your lifeless threats. "great, i'll see you later at your place... don't forget to wrap it up. but he’s a doctor, he should know the risks."

you shot them a serious glance, that soon morphed into a pleading one. "guys, i have a meeting, which i was trying to tell you — "

"we know. we said you'd meet afterwards. anyways, the painter is coming soon. as in, this morning. y/n, we're not stupid. and besides, who fucks during the day?”

chan threw his hand up, “well, i'm not stupid — you, however, could've fooled me.”

“yeah? well, you don’t fuck at all, you’ve never even gotten your dick w — “

chan lunged at him, pulling his fist back and only pulsing it in seungkwan’s direction. then, they broke out into another verbal fight; your cue to leave them and go back to your office.

you took a shaky breath as you walked the brightly lit hallway. you knew your friends were right and everything would work out smoothly, they knew about your meeting and truthfully just wanted what was best for you. they wanted you to get out of your shell, yet still, the act itself annoyed you. it almost made you feel belittled, like you had no control over your love-life — at least, no better than they did.

once you took a seat behind your organized desk, you grumbled and hung your head to the cool wood. honestly, the pressure against your skull was soothing the tension inside you, and ultimately relaxing your shoulders.

you weren't easy to stress-out, or frankly upset, but right now you felt a little lost though the path was clear and brightly lit. you could see the end, yet the thing — person — wasn't in focus. you couldn't tell if it was you or someone entirely different; especially since you've seen a lot of people throughout your twenty-seven years on earth.

if you were honest with yourself, you’d know you've been feeling like (for a while now) that something was missing. if you went back a couple of years and saw that happy face of yours opening the doors to your dream café, you'd be disappointed to have her looking back at you. you loved your job, and the regulars made it worth it, chan and seungkwan, who have been at your side since practically the beginning, made it worth it. you weren't financially going under, and you were far from running out of people to serve, you just couldn't pin-point the empty feeling inside your chest that kept you up at night.

actually, you didn't even know why this was all bubbling up now. in the past, you had it harder — especially during the pandemic when you had to close for all those months, putting yourself and, ultimately, your bestfriend��s at risk of being homeless. but, there must’ve been something about the soggy blanket over the sky this morning that made you feel lethargic.

then, came a soft knock on the door to your office. you let out a gentle conformation to come in, expecting to see chan or seungkwan telling you that they were going on break despite only working two hours to your almost eight. you almost non-verbally waved them off, until you saw the contempt — almost radiantly so — expression painting the other half of your meeting’s face. he smiled, barely showing his teeth in the process, and shielding you two behind the closed door.

you returned a slight smile, and he cocked his head, standing in the middle of the room and watching as you raised from your seated position. you circled from behind your desk and wrapped your arms around him. his scent took over your nose: the synthetic, yet comforting smell of paint that mixed with a floral aroma he tried to cover it up with.

“hey,” he said, barely over a whisper, “are you okay?”

you nodded into his neck, genuinely feeling a sense of clarity through the fog in his arms.

“i think… i’m just tired.” you replied honestly, finally breaking from his embrace, “i’ve been here since four and seungkwan and chan have been testing each other’s nonexistent patience today more than usual — making a competition about who’s gotten their dicks wet more.” you shuttered with the mental image. “is it a full moon? i feel like it must be. it’s gotta be the only explanation why today just feels off.”

he gave you a gentle look, sparklingly-clear eyes meeting your broody ones. “do you need something? how can i help?”

you shied away, leaning against the cedar of the desk as a blush bloomed across your cheekbones. you almost buckled at the knees from his eagerness to want you to feel better — the genuineness behind his tone.

your arms crossed over your front, “i’ll be okay. nothing a big girl can’t handle.” you tried to joke, “i haven’t cried since elementary school. i can handle a lot, you know.”

he further approached you, taking your hooked arms within his grasp and pulling you into him again. “are you sure?” he asked, and before he gave you a chance to reassure him, he took your breath away, literally, as your lips melted together for the sixth or seventh time (not that you were counting) since you started seeing each other.

his hands found your cheeks as the kiss deepened, yours wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer. your heartbeat was crazily-fast despite the relaxed feeling you felt coursing through you. he peppered a few closed mouth kisses as you slowed, pulling off with soft but heavy breaths.

"trust me, i know you can handle a lot." he breathily fanned the lower half of your face, “but, i really wanted to kiss you anyways.”

"oh?" you laughed, "and how did you find that information out?"

he laughed back, "are you flirting with me?"

"i don't know," you gently pressed his lips to yours again, "would you like to find out?"

"i thought we were supposed to be having a meeting about art."

he let you fall back against the cool wood. "i guess we could give it a try..." but there was now a lingering tension that wasn't there before his lips were on yours. you'd been on more than a few dates over the two months you've been — as chan says — putting yourself out there and despite only kissing a couple of times, it seemed he already knew you so goddamn well. “but, no promises i’ll remain professional now that all i can think about is the art we could make while on a canvas.”

he cocked a brow in your direction, “is that the next piece you want?”

“i dunno, it would probably look like a mess.”

he hummed, “nothing that involves you would look like a mess. though it would be funny trying to explain how the piece came about.”

“imagine someone buys it and hangs it in their dinning room.” you pushed yourself onto the surface of the desk, crossing your legs. “eating while looking at where we had sex — though they’d be none-the-wiser to it.”

he blushed, despite the bold words that left you momentarily speechless, “i could make it happen, you know i’ve got a lot of paint.”

"oh? then you must want to find out exactly how much i can handle."

his hands went up, “you said it first.”

the rest of the meeting went mildly, despite the fact that you kept gawking as you watched his lips move. you swear you were only half-listening, trying your best not to pounce back on him, just so you could feel the security you had prior, to feel heard and understood even though you weren't saying anything. and maybe part of you wanted him to figure out your boundaries and how far you were willing to go for him.

you knew, ever since august 21st that he was a perfect contrast to you. and before this you never really believed that opposites could attract.

the bus bumped as it hit the curb, sending you out of your thoughts and momentarily into the air. you looked outside, the sun past its highest point, the sky a pale milky-blue that you used to say was your favorite as a kid. your day had run longer than anticipated, causing you to reschedule with the surgeon your bestfriends promised you were keen to meet.

it was the end of autumn, basically winter — the first snowfall a couple of days ago. however, it had melted away with the proximate sun, but there was still a frosty chill that nipped the exposed skin of its' passers. you could see the holiday-cheer in the window displays and wreaths that wrapped the street-lamps, though sometimes you went against the grain, especially on off-days like this one.

you rested your temple against the window, your sighed-out breath reaching and fogging the panel slightly. you watched as your stop came into view, and even debated missing it on purpose before you remembered who you — your bestfriend’s — had promised to meet. you could picture the relieved smile that would plaster his face, and ultimately it made you feel at ease to know you could be that for him. so, you got from the seat, making your way to the front and out onto the sidewalk without a stumble.

you’d seen a few people while putting yourself out there, jumping head-first into the sea of boys you could call candidates in the race for your heart. and even though one had a collection of clown dolls, another had a foot fetish, and another was obsessed with old people; which was ironic because you were younger than him. you found not one, but two incredible people through those other tragedies — and neither one, to the best of your knowledge, had any weird fetishes (besides the paint, which you were inclined to like as well).

you’d met the surgeon first, on a dating app of all things. He made it very clear that his schedule was hectic within the first introduction, and you made it clear that yours was flexible, you were your own boss after all. but you went against the masses; you liked being by yourself sometimes. you liked not having someone depend on you. you liked that he was honest and happy for it in return. that he listened attentively and always held the door for you.

you, really, liked that he liked you.

he’d come to your place a couple of times already, the first being after the third date you’d been on. you and the surgeon had gone to a bar, one he seemingly visited quite often from the tenders who greeted him in a friendly manner — and though the thought of him having taken girls there before did cross your mind, you, at the time, had no right to be upset.

it was his off-day from the, metaphorically, never dead hospital and at first you half-expected him to have a strange sense of humor. you thought he’d have no problem talking of pus and blood and shit during inappropriate times. however, after each date concluded, he had proven to you that he was just a man — a very overworked and tired man — but one nonetheless. you also appreciated having someone to talk to about your medical-anxieties; mostly on nights where you’d had a little too much wine and were overthinking, self-diagnosing from google. you knew if he was free he’d come over and tell you that you weren’t dying of an incurable disease, holding you close. otherwise he’d step away (provided, he wasn’t busy tending to a patient) and listen to all your worries over the phone, his voice low and comforting.

if you didn’t know any better you’d believe he was in love with you or something — however, you two weren’t even official, let alone close enough to be in love. and besides, he knew you were still weighing out your options with other men, as he was with other women. that other man being a painter, almost opposite of the man you found yourself blushing over (not that you didn’t blush when faced with the artist, because you really did).

you had met the painter shortly after you’d placed an ad on your social media, and door, which stated that you were in need of someone’s paintings to buy to spruce up your space. you had no short list of things suitable for your café and were convinced that no one would seriously inquire. though, here you were, months later with beautiful paintings of anything your heart desired — which he gladly accepted after each meeting. how you two came to go out was no short of a whim, when he awkwardly, yet boldly, asked if you had any plans for the evening. before that, you had thought he was beautiful but kept it professional because you were paying him to paint for your business. your prior interactions were purely transactional on your end, until he flipped the switch and you finally saw him under a different light.

he was nothing less of a gentlemen during the couple of dates where you went to moderately priced restaurants, or short dusk walks around the block. he even took you to his studio where he proceeded to draw a portrait of you like you two were starring in one of those romantic french movies, that you had no time to watch.

you liked him because he spoke his mind, and though his movements were never carefully thought out, you appreciated how his brain worked — you appreciated how he made you feel secure, and the love he had for his craft (though it wasn’t making him as much as the doctor). you liked that he was as simple as you were, never needing or asking for more than he received from you and your hectic business. he looked at you with stars in his eyes and genuinely instilled the feeling of being the only girl in the world.

you liked that he really liked you.

at the end of the day, you felt conflicted, crying over a guilt you didn’t even know why you had — and maybe, you thought, that that was the reason why you felt empty inside; you lacked a love in your life and that’s why you tried so hard to give yourself everything else as a distraction. you were only human, and nature was to crave intimacy — companionship — to feel another person's skin romantically.

you wanted a story-book love and maybe that's why it's taken you so long to even get out into the adult dating scene. you knew you had high-standards, but you've grown up being told to never settle. so why would you start now? maybe, too often, you thought of yourself as the problem, as the person who just couldn't be satisfied no matter how hard someone tried.

the frosty chill sent a shiver over your entire body as you tried to conserve whatever residual heat was left from the enclosure. you were fast-paced while walking the block towards your apartment, keys already in hand and ready to unlock the front gate. it was old-fashioned but somehow it made you feel safer than an electric passcode ever could.

the hinges cried out as you pushed the barrier from your way, trekking the pavement and up the stairs to the fourth floor. yes, you could've taken the elevator, however, the superficial comfort of alone-time was calming you in ways no man ever could.

deep-down, you might’ve wanted the doctor to have been called into work, simply because you weren't sure whether or not you were happy: to be around anyone, to care for anyone, to even be awake right now. and you weren't convinced that the smile you oh-so-adore would change that.

yet, you still couldn't help the twist of your lips when stood next to your door was the puffer-jacket wearing doctor, who to anyone else would look suspicious loitering outside a woman's apartment. his head rested against the plaster of the wall, only becoming level when he heard the familiar clunk of your favorite heeled-boots, which he oddly recognized.

instantly, his back released from the wall and before you had a chance to say something snarky about him waiting for you, he grabbed your bags.

"hi," he whispered out, almost as if your presence was relieving, "sorry for such short notice, i just had a really tough night."

you pressed a gentle kiss to the man's cheek, non-verbally reassuring him that everything was fine. "i'm sorry as well, customers were just spilling in." then, you unlocked the numbered door, stepping in before him. you heard the click of the lock, feeling the presence of someone who was far too close, yet not close enough to call your boyfriend. "but tell me about it now," you said, unzipping your shoes. you finished and turned, taking your bags and waiting for him to either speak or take his own shoes off. he looked unsure, "i want to hear about it. do you want something for dinner, i know it's not technically time for it — but we can order or i can see what i have."

"i'm fine with whatever you want... some fried chicken would be really good right now though."

you laughed, hanging your purse on a hook, and organizing the rest of your miscellaneous things. "don't you know the health risks related to too much fried food? and to think i'd come to you for medical advice." you over-exaggerated, "spicy or not?"

his jacket had come off, taking the free hook by your bag. he smiled, grabbing your waist and pressing a kiss to your lips. "both." he replied against you, attacking again with another few fast kisses, barely giving you time to register the prior ones. "and, i'll pay you back."

"you don't have to, spending time with you is payment enough."

"purely transactional," he grabbed your face, soft hands caressing the skin, "a girl after my own heart."

and you don't know if it was the words, or the tone that made you blush deeper than you should have. but either way it had you shying like a middle-school girl talking to her crush.

you hummed, "you caught me. i only use you for consultations. you're my main medical provider — i say that when that question comes up for adulting shit. honestly, i’m like a walking ad, give me some of your cards, i'll hand them out."

"shut up," he smirked, pushing your lower back so your bodies were closer than before.

"i would say make me, but you'd like that too much."

the mood had switched too easily, and now you couldn't help feeling hot and bothered by the hands you just wanted to slip under your shirt or down — you couldn't help your imagination that was running wild within his tight grip, his muscles flexing against you as you anxiously fidgeted.

his voice was low, "if you're going to use me, at least let it be for something else."

"i think you'd like that too much as well." you lightly pushed him away, though it wasn't because you wanted to, it’s because you knew if you started the two of you wouldn't even make it out of the doorway. "if you want food, you better let me order it."

"what if i'm hungry for something else now?"

your hand covered your mouth, face twisting with a mock-disgust, "what are you? a sixteen year old virgin? that was so cringey! what if i'm hungry for someth —"

his lips were pressed to yours in an instant, making do with your offer to be shut up as he cut you off mid-sentence. and as much as you knew he liked it, you did too.

seungcheol pushed you back, hitting the empty wall a little forcefully, but his hand connected with the back of your head before the plaster did.

it was the little things that made your stomach twist. the little acts of service you weren’t accustomed to before meeting. he was everything to you: comfort, strength, yearning.

your lips molded together as if they were made for each other. your hands gripping into the strands at the base of his skull, and pulling gently — just enough to get a sound out of the man. he groped your waist, dragging you impossibly closer to his body. you were breathless and unbearably hot, pulling away with his bottom lip still in between your teeth.

“cheol…” he pushed his head into the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking the sensitive skin under your ear. you whimpered, but still trudged a sentence out, “we have to stop — n-not in the doorway. have some class.”

but one thing about the surgeon was, he always liked a little bit of a challenge. and he thought you were his best match. also, he knew you were lying just as much as you did.

he trailed his lips over your collarbone, pulling the shirt down to make his path easier. his other hand was pushing up from the bottom, cool skin grazing against your stomach. your chest was rising and falling quickly, head lolling against the wall behind you. he chuckled against your skin, slipping the hand under your shirt and over your bra before palming you.

his lips were now against where his hands just grazed, shirt pushed up into the base of your neck. you fought with the noises that unintentionally fell off your tongue. your body was aflame, lit by, no doubt, the likes of him.

your hands threaded his hair, as he popped the button on your jeans. you pushed him back, eyes meeting yours with a questioning look; as if to ask if you wanted him to go on.

and more than half of you did. however, there was a voice from the corner of your mind that demanded you stop, that flashed pictures of commitment, and rings, and hearts across the scene in front of you. a part of you that you only ever wanted to curse.

you actually felt a little nauseous now, heart beating so overwhelmingly fast you could pass out. you wanted to give him whatever he wanted, so you honestly don’t know why you didn’t.

seungcheol would always push himself aside to aid your needs before his own. maybe it was the doctor in him, but he just cared too much to see you uncomfortable — unsure — by his doing. he wanted you, but he’d wait until you were 100% sure as well.

he stood up, letting your shirt fall back down and kissing you less urgently than before.

“let’s order some chicken now, and you can tell me about your day instead.”

“okay…” you breathed out. he fixed your outfit, re-buttoning your jeans and smoothing over your hair. he laughed as he did, taking your phone from your pocket and holding it out for you, before you admitted, “i forgot what we wanted.”

your mind was still a little hazy with the feeling of him still on your skin, you could feel the tingling where his lips once connected. you could smell the intoxicating cologne he used to cover up the sterilization of the hospital.

“i’ll order it.” he said, taking his phone out instead, typing away on an app he already had downloaded. you thought it a little intimate that he knew your address without looking, but you brushed that under the rug — especially because nothing could get more intimate than what was still coursing adrenaline through your veins.

he stole glanced at you, looking with adoration. you couldn’t tell if it was from him liking having such control over your body, or because of something else. and truthfully, you wouldn’t mind it being the latter over the gravity of him having real feelings for you.

you left him to follow you through your apartment and into the open-concept kitchen. he sat on a barstool that was neatly placed by the island, putting his keys on the marble, as well as his phone.

"It estimated 35 minutes."

you nodded, leaning against the countertop across from his sights. "are you going to tell me about work?" you asked, because quite frankly it was easy to tell he was trying to mask his feelings since you got the text this morning. "you said it was a stressful night, wouldn't you rather sleep than even see me?"

"no, actually I wouldn't." that took you by surprise, momentarily making your eyes widen, "and truthfully, I don't sleep much anyways. I have weird shifts so often that I can't acclimate to any sleep-schedule. I probably haven't slept more than 4 hours since grad school."

"damn," you sighed out, walking over to the man. you weren't sure what your intentions were, but it just felt right to comfort him. "that's gotta be tough. I really can't imagine." you threaded your fingers into his hair, and he leaned into the touch.

"it's okay," he sighed out, "we just lost a patient today — one of our cancer ones. we've had her since she was two, since i was a first-year resident. ten tough years, she was so strong, so young. i still can't believe it."

“oh my god, cheol,” you voiced, “that’s awful. i’m so sorry. she’s in a better place now — wherever that may be — i just know it.”

he looked up at you, adoration mixed with sadness. there were stars that met your pupils, and you swear you could make a wish if you wanted to.

“you know,” he started, feeling as your hands dropped around his shoulders, “i don’t know what — i, um, can i tell you something? you don’t have to say anything back.” you hummed a small yes to him, alarms (or maybe bells?) going off inside your head. his hands rested on your arms as he leaned into you, eyes falling closed. you swear he could hear the thump in your chest, and you don’t know if you wanted that to discourage him or encourage him to spew it out faster.

“i think i love you.”

“what.”

you weren’t sure if you were more surprised by the fact that you didn’t jolt away in shock or by what he said next.

“no, i know i love you.” your face was beat red, and he refused to open his eyes for whatever reason, “i know it’s a lot, i’m sorry. we’re not even dating, but i just, i don’t know, i want it to be official — i want you to be my girlfriend.”

for a second, your heart was lit up with fireworks, butterflies swarming your insides. you, for a second, wanted that too. you wanted him to be your boyfriend, but you ultimately were scared of that commitment — hell, you don’t even know why you started to date in the first place if not with this in mind. you knew deep down that you weren’t actually ready to not just have fun without the strings attached.

the cliche was to say that's it's not you, it's me and you all but said it. it felt like he had more pieces of you than you wanted him to — or maybe you did, you weren't fully sure — you feared that that fact would soon start to eat at the depths of your brain, convince you of anything but innocence.

you wanted to be wanted, but you wanted to be loved more than anything. so, why didn't it look good to you? why couldn't you let him be the silver lining you've been waiting for. why couldn't this surgeon be the one to stitch up your heart?

and maybe you knew the answer deep down as you sat alone.

seungcheol had left, after he read you like a picture book. he left you in a state of comatose you didn't think he could — one you didn't think would cut so deep — and you still hoped that he wasn't the one left lost.

part of you didn't want him to search an empty room with the thought of finding you. but the other part wanted to be sat in a dark corner just awaiting his arms around you.

you felt an emptying feeling before it all crashed into the lower depths of your stomach. nausea, as you scrambled to the bathroom with hopes of choking the bile back down before it hit the floor. and you felt like you just barely made it, sitting against the cold tile, knees to your chest and head down on them.

you thought about situations in your past that would've made you deserve to feel a deep despair — one that was currently debilitating — like a half-dug grave with the shovel still in your hand. you felt hopeless. you always knew, at the end of the day, you'd be your own undoing, but you prayed that that day would’ve never come like it has, unfortunately, now.

your chest was tight, your eyes on fire. you thought you were getting better, you thought you were finally healed enough to get back out there. but maybe you only got better at pretending. maybe through opened doors you got better at lying. however, now you can’t tell if the lies get better the more times they’re worn, or if they’re simply just overused.

you thought about the little girl again — the one that would be looking up at you right now — and cried harder because you didn’t want her to realize that she was the only person who ruined everything every time.

maybe you were destined to be alone. maybe your red string wasn't tethered to anyone. it would cut deep, but maybe knowing wouldn't kill you. maybe you could find peace with yourself, watching your bloodline wither away. maybe, at the end of your life, you could look back and not have any regrets because at least you did try.

you felt as if walking on broken glass could hurt less and less the more times you do it — isn't that what getting used to something is all about? truthfully, you didn't know, and weren't sure you actually wanted to, because what's truly worse, being wanted and not loved, or loved and not wanted? it's a question you often asked, but the best manipulation you got was from yourself; no one can hurt you like you can.

you knew every way to pick apart your brain. your insecurities were your bittersweet company. you knew them all by name. where strangers weren't welcome, they walked freely. you hated them, but the ghosts haunting you, pretty lights couldn't cast out.

you felt like the world was moving too fast, and you were being left behind. you wanted to just stand still, if only for a second. a luxury you never got throughout the growing pains. and just as you were getting a taste, you ripped it away from yourself.

you wanted to force yourself to give in to your not-so-hidden desires. you wanted to be loved, and someone who you evidently feel strongly about has admitted just that. in reality, it shouldn't be this hard. you shouldn't be as dramatic as a middle school girl's first breakup.

but still deep down, you felt like it wouldn’t be right to accept him. at least, not without talking to the painter first. you felt like you owed him that much, even if neither men were technically yours — and you them — you still felt guilty for wanting love from someone while also wanting it from someone else.

spoiled for choice or by choice? and the fact that you had to choose was killing you, because you’d had such different, non-comparable times with them that it seemed unfair to try and weigh them both equally.

you know yourself, and right now you know you’d choose the surgeon, but if faced with the artist all that would go out the window. it was circumstantial who you felt closest to, and you hated (and loved) that fact with the entirety of your being.

maybe that’s why you felt eaten alive — diving head first into the lion's den, with only the wish to be paralyzed by the fall. maybe, you thought, if you couldn’t feel anything it would all magically become easier. but, you were an adult, with supposed adult-feelings. you were supposed to be able to maturely take on battles, and resolve them with your dignity still intact. however, you felt anything but strong right now.

your fingers grasped for your phone, and you looked at the illuminated time — seungkwan and chan would still be cleaning your store, and right now you felt like you needed your bestfriends to clear your head before it consumed you.

you got off the floor with much fight, your knees weak and spine anything but straight. you felt heavy, and you weren’t sure if it was the guilt or if you just had never noticed before. either way, you trekked on, memories of the last hour flashing through your head like a badly timed slideshow. you ended up sat at the front door, fighting with the zipper on your shoes. you went to grab your purse when you realized that a — as much familiar as unfamiliar — garment was hanging on the hook next to it; the surgeons, right where he left it before his hands roamed your body for what felt like all the time in the world, but not enough.

“fuck.” you cursed under your breath, a shiver running over your skin, “i — fuck.”

it was the only words that you could seem to manage, despite trying so hard to form an actual sentence that encapsulated your feelings. maybe if you could say it to yourself, you could say it to him, but that was a harder task then made out to be in movies and TV shows (you never had time to watch).

you practically couldn’t even remember how you got from point A to point B, but here you were, keys in hand, standing directly in front of the glass door with a mournful look that reflected. you barely caught the jaw-dropped stare chan gave you before smacking seungkwan to get his attention.

for a moment you wondered what went through their heads, what they thought happened to you; no doubt it was going to be more dramatic than needed, but you expected nothing less, and honestly, you felt nothing less.

you were frozen, like the air, when the younger of them came and opened the door with the broom still clad between his left hand.

“what the hell happened to you?” he asked.

seungkwan came running over, finally realizing that you weren’t playing a trick on the two of them, and it was actually bad news that was making your body shake.

he took your hand, dropping the washcloth on the way to an empty (and presumably clean, if they were getting their jobs done properly) table. he took the stool down, and pushed you into it. and just as his hands left your shoulders, you felt something snap. it could’ve been because of their presence that your water pipe was now cracked and seeping down your face, however you really couldn’t tell at that moment in time. all that was playing on your mind was the three words that shouldn’t be so complicated. it felt like a foreign language as it played across your heart, one you could only try to understand, much less repeat back. it felt too easy that it was beyond difficult; a trick question you didn’t want the answer to.

maybe if you were more secure, you told yourself, maybe if you liked your life a little more it wouldn't all be replaying like a fucking horror movie when you blinked — even if only for a millisecond.

"he said he loved me."

it's like a bomb dropped for them, however a weight lifted off your tiring shoulders, “h-he said he loves me and i — i”

“and you’re not sure?”

no, you’re not sure. you’re not sure what love’s supposed to feel like. you’re not sure if seungcheol is even it. you’re not sure how many times you’ve thought about it on lonely nights you wished you had someone to wrap up into. you’re not sure he actually loves you despite offering no opposition to it. you’re not sure, simply because you don’t want to be; you knew that and you hated it.

“i — i don’t know,” you stated, wiping the drops off your under eyes, “he’s perfect, really, but i — i don’t know.”

seungkwan cocked an eyebrow in chan’s direction, who looked awfully like a mother: arms crossed over his chest with the broom still in hand. they weren’t convinced you were telling them the truth, but honestly, you had no idea what that would even begin to look like in their eyes.

you should have your shit together, you were almost 30 for fucks sake, however you still lived by the saying ‘better late than never’ like it wasn’t getting too late. you’ve lived being brushed under the rug, in blissful ignorance of the passing times. sure, you’ve achieved almost everything you wanted as a teenager, but there was still a lingering fear in your heart, one that penetrated every corner and crept with uncertainty. you didn’t question whether you were able to be loved, but if you deserved it — especially from the surgeon or painter, who seemed so keen to.

a blunt smack to the face, metaphorically, woke you from your dooming thoughts. “y/n,” seungkwan deadpanned, taking the chair next to you and leaning in, “in your grown-ass age, you’re acting like a kid. if you’re unsure, you should talk about it like adults, running away won’t fix anything — and it’ll just leave you alone forever — as much as we love you, we’re not taking care of you in the retirement home, so you better find a man that will.”

you looked to chan who was nodding slightly, “you deserved to be loved. whether that be the surgeon or someone else. okay?”

you bit your lip, taking into account what they’ve said, and mixing it with your own feelings; a bitter taste left on your tongue. you debated telling them about your situationship with a business partner, however somewhere deep down you think they already knew somehow. they all but said you have to follow your heart to truly be happy: something they knew you craved, rubbing up against all else.

you slowly agreed non-verbally. you've come to a decision, and whether it is a good one, only time will tell.

you chose yourself.

and this time, you find yourself face to face with a crusty-white door that you knew led into a basement. your hand went up to knock, and it's as if the resident knew you were outside because it creaked open. you’ve been met with the painter more than countless times, but at this moment, you felt like your heart was sitting at your feet on the frozen concrete.

"i-i tried upstairs, but you didn't answer, so i just assum —"

he stepped aside, "come in."

you shut up your explanation and followed directions, stepping over the trim and into his studio. you were overwhelmed with the intoxicating smell of paint, looking around at the walls that were covered in acrylic abstracts, oil flowers or chalk portraits. there were multiple canvases that were set on the floor, half-done and partially covered by tarps.

it wasn't the first time you've seen his studio, but it somehow had gotten even more cramped than that time; when you anxiously thought of ways to organize it.

"are you okay? you never come here unannounced."

you stumbled inside your head, foggy was an understatement now that you were actually looking at a third of your problem. "i just needed to see you, i-i need to talk to you about something — it's important, i swear. i'm sorry for just showing up."

"don't be sorry, it's why i told you my address." he pulled a stool form under his sharpie covered desk, brushing it off for you to sit on. "it must be important as you can't even stand properly. sit down, you haven't even looked at me once since coming in."

you hadn't realized, "i'm sorry," you mumbled, forcing your eyes to level on him as you collapsed against the stool. you were sober (unfortunately), but it felt as if you were full speed drunk-driving.

"stop apologizing unless you have something to be sorry for." he said, sitting in front of you, trying to garner your attention, "do you have something that warrants an apology, y/n?"

you remained silent, and you swore you could feel the air stop moving as if it was all sucked out of the room. the way he stared at you made you look through him like a window, because you were afraid that it wouldn't end well if anything else. your anxiety mimicked a hypoglycemic reaction, and you felt the need to hold onto something to steady yourself. you were becoming as predictable as the rain during the months of march and may.

you needed him, but you needed someone else too.

you thought a decision could be easy. you'd choose whoever piqued your interest better, but it didn't help that they were both so damn pretty, and nice and caring. they were perfect for you — both of them — in different ways. you were forced to imagine a future with both, and it made you sick to your stomach.

maybe the fact that one of them would inevitably hate you if you broke it off, especially to be exclusive with a different man, kept you shaken. you hated that you had to meet them romantically instead of platonically, because now that you couldn't have both, you feared you'd get none at all in the end.

would the memory become unbearable if you broke the surgeon's heart? would the painter even care if you told him it wasn't working out?

you should go with the one who confessed his love to you as you comforted him in the kitchen of your apartment — but, unfortunately, you can see the way vernon had stars in his eyes, bargaining with them for more than just half of your heart. He wanted to support you in whatever you did, but he knew he met you before anyone else ever did.

your voice came without warning, "d-do you love me, too?" you meant to ask the deafening question only in the confines of your own head.

"too?"

"what?"

"do you love me, too?" he reiterated, your face losing all color, "t-that's what you said. do you love me, too. does that mean you love me too, or that someone else loves you?"

"too?" you all but shouted in his face, "does that mean you love me too, o-or —"

"y/n, i know what i said."

you felt foolish stuttering, but if you imagined the way you probably looked, it couldn't be more embarrassing.

"o-oh."

he was acting more mature than you, just as the surgeon did not even hours ago, reading you like he wrote the words to begin with. you'd been shocked close to a couple heart attacks today, and you wondered why on a monday of all days shit had to hit the fan. but the storm had been brewing for a while, and the humidity was only the first tell.

the room was now left as if no one was in it. you swear you could hear sirens all the way across the city if you focused hard enough. your lip was now raw, and you could taste slight metal from how much you'd been chewing on it. you hated how good the plastic covered couches looked, the piquet fence and three-kid family people strived so fucking hard for. you thought you were fine sitting in the backseat of a car heading full speed for a cliff, because in the mirror you really thought you looked happy enough. if you could turn back time to monday last week, you weren't convinced you wouldn't do it without hesitation.

you hated how you held the knife that just kept piercing you. and you wondered if one of them could be the one to finally pry it from your cold hands, to finally warm them. your innocence was weakness, and it finally made you realize that you were older; that you, yourself, was your own worst enemy.

you knew you'd sit in silence until he had the courage to break it, simply because you were certain you couldn't. the sad song was writing itself so well; if only you let your heart listen to the millions of thoughts swirling your dream. you could go left or right, but there was no turning around anymore.

he was soft against the air, and you audibly heard a hurt in his voice that you felt you didn't deserve to cry over, "you meant that there's another guy who loves you... too."

you were taking all the bliss for granted, because the moment it was ripped from under your feet your thoughts became erratic. and truthfully, you know it's because you're selfishly still holding on.

you're still convinced you feel the same way towards them both. you're still convinced that it's one sided: that you don't — can't — love too. you're still scared that this will be too much for you in the end and you'll be left alone. you were convinced that the only way was to love or leave. you told yourself there was no in between two thin lines, no shades of gray between black and white. you thought that there had to be a definitive answer that you kept running away from.

and you didn't want to run anymore. you were tired; tired of being alone, tired of having to feel sick every time someone you cared so deeply about crossed your mind. you were a terrible person for leading yourself down into the wreck and bringing both of them with you.

you were honestly going to break it off with the artist for the security of the surgeon.

when you were walking over, you came up with ways to defend the intentions that seemed cruel, rehearsing the lines that went in one ear and out the other. you faced him and your heart raced. you felt guilty because you knew you couldn't give either of them the answer they wanted without hurting someone in the crossfire. they both loved you, and it made your chest tight with the thought: a continuous loop you found yourself circling and circling until you were dizzy.

the surgeon had you wrapped around his finger, so desperate for him, and you mistook it for blind devotion. but the artist worshiped the ground you stepped on, you think he'd walk through hell to restore you to humanity. they’d (evidently) do anything to see a smile on your face.

you watched as he stood up, paced the room in search of something momentarily. then he found it. closed between his forefinger and thumb was a starch colored paper, black fingerprints and smudges all over it. he brought it back, you catching a glimpse of soft features drawn so carefully it couldn't possibly be how he saw you. he handed the portrait to you as he began speaking, explaining his actions, "if you're going to break it off with me for him, it's okay, but just take this then. i can't bear the thought of it — of you being so close yet so far out of reach." he sent a shiver down your spine, "you'd haunt me, y/n." but now you were convinced he saw you more beautifully than jealous hades did persephone, and it made you believe that maybe the love that blooms could be as serendipitous as cupid and psyche. an untainted white-rose could sprout from the ashes of the past. all you had to do was give him the answer he was so easily pulling from you.

nonetheless the guilt felt for seungcheol wouldn't outweigh it, because you like him too much. in a different, more primal way, in comparison to the romantics vernon showered you with. your heart raced in adrenaline for the feeling of the surgeon's hands on your body, whereas the sight of the painter's lips set you on fire. you wanted them both hopelessly... but for different reasons that all went back to the same feeling: love. if you'd be so much as damned, the complications it implied, despite craving it until you found yourself debilitated in your bed, wishing on every lucky star you could find. you pictured yourself falling, free-falling just to chase a feeling, until you hit the water-stained concrete.

you loved him — and it hurt so much to have to hurt someone else. but an obstacle is still an obstacle no matter the shape or form.

he roped your attention back to him, his finger brushing a stray piece of hair back into place on your head. it was always the little things, the small inconvenient actions that solidified your heart in stone. you were veering off to the side, signal on and ready to turn.

you ignored feeling some type of way because you didn't want to end up hurting anyone in the process, but you've come to learn that nothing is actually free in this world, and you must make sacrifices for the greater good — for yourself.

you deserved to be happy, you deserved to feel feelings, you deserved to be loved (whether that be by one, both or none of the men). you deserved to be wanted and it's about time you are.

it was a rainy night, the storm finally hitting. you didn't want to be the bad guy, and that's what you're afraid you'd become for him. maybe you were just too nice. you wondered how your bestfriends could be so ruthless, yet still looked upon fondly. you wondered if you didn't end up loving, would he hate you?

would seungcheol hate you?

you wondered what his diagnosis for you would be this time: delirium? broken heart syndrome? delusion? would he imagine you running back to him in a couple months, fantasizing that you'd realize you made the wrong decision? you didn't want him to feel lost, but in the end you were the one without the compass.

the tears came without warning — so much for holding them back because you didn't feel you deserved to cry when you're the one creating the problem for yourself. you dug the grave, and the saying always ends with the perpetrator lying in it. this time, you just hoped it was big enough for two.

"y/n," vernon began, gently holding his palms to either side of your face, "you have to do what's best for you."

you sniffled, "but — but what if that's not what's best for you?"

"why are you thinking of me? or him?" he asked, crouching down to be level with you, "stop doing that and just listen to yourself."

and for once, you did, giving in to desire to want him to want you. you leaned in quickly, his hands still on your cheeks as you pressed a kiss to his lips. he pulled away after a second, completely shocked that you did that without being prompted. but, somehow, you felt calmer than the last couple of weeks had you.

you were laying it all out on the table right now, and you just hoped he'd pick your card, like you just did his.

reblogs, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! thank u!

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renaiswriting · 8 months

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True

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sssaythenamesvt · 8 months

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Energy Hugs

Main Masterlist | S.Coups Masterlist Paring: S.Coups x Reader Warning: Mentions of Food Genre: Fluff Summary: It's been a long day for your hardworking boyfriend and he gets clingy when he is exhausted.

It was another day as the sunset and the moon rises. I was lucky today yet I cannot say the same for my boyfriend who sent me a signal of distress through text today.

I was a bit worried yet it was not out of the ordinary, after all the world tour is coming soon. I knew he would typically skip meals before, but now I cook and make sure to heat it up once he gets back.

I ate dinner on my own and make sure to prepare to reheat a meal that would go cold. Some days I fall asleep while others I might not cause like today I had to recheck for an important meeting tomorrow.

It was one of those nights where the thoughts won’t leave until every detail is checked and my body would give up. No matter how many times a presentation is checked there could be something I missed and that is normal thus my nightly routine of checking starts.

I turned on the speakers with some soft music to calm my thoughts and checked my work as the room was dim with the light of my laptop shining the material I have grown bored of looking for the past few weeks. The night went on and my eyes were giving up slowly, I cleaned up the stuff I need for tomorrow and got back to the living room to settle, that was until the front door opened.

He stepped in as I approached him, he removed his shoes slowly and faced me as I opened my arms. I knew that meant he had a tough day. Without hesitation, I made my way to him and wrapped my arms around him, giving him a warm hug. His arms are around my waist as I rub his back.

I let go to see the dark circles and the exhausted state he was in.

“You go change and I will heat up your dinner.” I smiled as I held his face and he nodded.

He retreated to his room and I went to the kitchen to heat up the food, as I put it in the microwave I got the table ready along with a glass of water. I got back in front of the microwave waiting for the food. Then I felt his arms around me.

“Hey” he said as he buried his head into my neck.

“Hey, food should be ready soon. Go sit and drink some water first.” I said turning to face him.

“Energy hugs first.” he simply said hugging closer.

“Ok love, if that is what you want.” I smiled holding him a little longer.

#svt #seventeen #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #svt scoups #seventeen scoups #svt choi seungcheol #seventeen choi seungcheol #scoups

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fantasy-svt · 11 months

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I'd like that

Magic or Not Masterlist | Next

Synopsis: when running from his supposed birthday party, Seungcheol finds a few new friends and you at a magical tavern.

Pairing: Choi Seung-Cheol x fem!reader Word Count: 3.1k words

"Congratulations on your 24th birthday, crown prince."

All nobles walked down the hall until they reached him, all of them repeating the same message that he had already heard a thousand of times. After their message, they were quick to introduce themselves before the next person was called forward.

Seungcheol was done with it, his head was already perched on his hand as he tried to keep his eyes open. By now he knew that this wasn't an ordinary birthday celebration, but rather a way for him to find a wife. Thousands of nobles came to the kingdom, all to introduce their daughters and some even their sons. They all wanted the same thing, the crown and a chance to rule over a whole kingdom.

"Bored?" A voice sounded in his head, one that Seungcheol could easily recognize as Jeonghan's. So he let his eyes wander until he found the magician, standing in the back of the giant hall.

The longhaired blond stood there proudly, dressed in a simple white shirt and pants and yet he still shone brightly like an angel to others. The healer, Joshua, stood beside him and was dressed the very same. If Seungcheol didn't know any better, he'd think that they were just too lazy to dress themselves. That wasn't the case, however, as Seungcheol could see the mischief glimmering in their eyes. He could only smile to himself.

"Please excuse me for awhile." Seungcheol excused himself, bowing his head to his parents before descending down the stairs. Once he reached the bottom, he took large strides to the mischievous pair until he was close enough. Then they exited together and Seungcheol could only imagine the looks on his parents faces when they realized what he was doing.

"Hyung!" Another voice exclaimed and there came Lee Seokmin, dressed in his usual stable clothes and dragging an angry Lee Jihoon behind him. Seokmin was smiling brightly from ear to ear, Jihoon was not.

"Mingyu and Wonwoo are already outside, let's go!" Seokmin exclaimed happily and Seungcheol only smiled at the younger before following his steps.

"Why did I have to be here again?" "Oh, cheer up Jihoonie! It's Cheolie's birthday, we can't leave him with those stuck-ups." Jeonghan exclaimed, but Jihoon only grumbled on in response. Seungcheol smiled again before focusing on not tripping over his own feet, squinting to see anything in the dimly lit halls. Once outside, he spotted Mingyu and Wonwoo along with Vernon. All dressed in the same outfit, a dark shirt and brown pants. Clearly Seungcheol was missing an important dress code at this point.

The walk to town didn't take long and the sights of the forest and its creatures fascinated Seungcheol enough to make him stumble a couple of times. Not a single sight could top that of nature itself, Seungcheol thought. Unless you counted dragons, but those hadn't been spotted in the kingdom for years and thus Seungcheol had never actually met one.

"It's here!" Seokmin suddenly exclaimed and everyone looked at the younger in confusion, only Vernon seemed to agree. Joshua was the first to step forward, wrapping his arm around Seokmin's neck and pulling him down in a headlock.

"We're in the middle of nowhere!" He sneered softly, but Seokmin was quick to disagree as he pointed somewhere.

"Are you here for the Hippogriff Tavern?" "Seungkwan!" Seokmin called out happily to the stranger and everyone turned to look.

Before them stood a man and although it was dark, they could all quickly acknowledge the man as a mermaid or siren. His eyes had a serenity shine and his hair was a bright blue color that was not natural in any human way, almost like it glowed in the dark. If those weren't enough, the man wore shells and pearls like chains around his waist that would make most nobles see green of envy. Last but not least, the man's gills were slightly visible although they were clearly closed at the moment.

"Hello!" He chirped to the rest of the group before walking past them, revealing his sharp canines as he smiled. He walked further in the forest before disappearing in a mist and stunning the group he left behind.

"Oh, magic shield!" Jeonghan was quickly interested and Seungcheol was sure that Jihoon was also fascinated as he stepped closer with and inspective gaze. When they crossed the barrier, they too disappeared from view. Naturally, everyone else followed.

Now there was a tavern, lights shining through the tinted windows and lights floating around and flowers blooming beautifully. Seungcheol only smiled before he followed the rest inside.

Music echoed through the tavern, a happy tune that accompanied the loud chattering. The people inside all seemed unique, carrying their obvious creature features with pride.

"Gremlin!" A loud voice yelled above the chatter and a pixie seemed to appear out of nowhere, throwing himself on Jihoon.

The pixie wore a bright smile, eyes squinted and nose scrunched up. His hair was a light brown, curls bouncing and thus revealing his pointy ears that were covered with earrings and cuffs. His ears were the only indication of him being a pixie, otherwise he would definitely be seen as a human.

Jihoon started to squirm around in the pixie's grip, curses in his own language were clear to everyone around as he grumbled 'I'm not a gremlin, I'm an alchemist!'. The pixie didn't seem to care much.

Seokmin had moved to a table, a couple of people sat there and Seungcheol was astounded. One was Seungkwan and the other three were unknown.

One had bright red hair, two long strands at the front while the rest was cut shorter to the nape. The hair looked curly as well and two golden horns were poking out of the curls, revealing him to be a dragon as Seungcheol suspected. The man's green eyes were quick to move his way before turning back to the cup in front of him, which seemed to be some kind of tea.

Next to the dragon man sat a man with blond hair that was carrying some braids and hair jewels, pointy ears sticking out. An elf.

Last, but not least, was you. You were sitting next to Seungkwan, dressed in a white dress with a brown corset. Flowers were weaved into your hair, small jewels handing from your braids and the area around you was covered in moss. You were a dryad.

Seokmin pulled him along, smiling brightly as he greeted everyone. The dragon was called Minghao, the elf was Junhui and you were named (y/n). When Seokmin and Seungcheol reached the table properly, your face was finally shown to Seungcheol and he felt his heart skip a beat when his eyes connected to your golden ones.

"Hello! You can sit next to me if you want." You gave a bright smile to him and he returned it, sitting beside you. It was then that Seungcheol could smell the flowers that surrounded you, somehow it felt relaxing.

Soon enough, the table was filled with more people. The pixie, that was still bothering Jihoon to some extent, was called Soonyoung or Hoshi and he apparently knew Jihoon since birth. It sounded logical, but everyone seemed to wonder how the elder one was still alive.

"Where's Chan?" Jihoon was the first to talk and Seungcheol couldn't help but flinch when he heard a loud giggle above him. Looking up, he spotted a young boy on the ceiling. His legs were wrapped around the support beam, smiling brightly at the people beneath him.

Bright wings erupted from his back and it was then that Seungcheol noticed the pointier ears along with, what seemed to be, some kind of pollen that fluttered down from the person. A fairy and seemingly a mischievous one.

"Why is everyone here?" The boy, Seungcheol assumed that his name was Chan like Jihoon said, asked and Seokmin happily replied that it was Seungcheol's birthday.

"It's your birthday? Why didn't you say so!" You exclaimed suddenly as you rushed out of your seat before returning with a cupcake that held a single candle. Silence suddenly filled the whole tavern, all eyes turned to your table and more importantly to the dryad that held the cupcake.

Awkwardly, Seungcheol blew out the candle and little fireworks erupted from the cupcake.

"You made a wish, right?" Chan asked and with a glare of Jeonghan, Seungcheol only nodded at the smiling teen. Chan only smiled brighter before letting himself drop down on the table, which quickly earned a loud his from Minghao as he spilled the cup that stood on the table.

The chatter started up again, almost like nothing had happened before. You had sat down again and handed the cupcake to Seungcheol with another smile.

Suddenly, Seungcheol had a lot more friends than he had an hour ago.

From then on, at least one day a week he would come to the tavern. He would often just sit in the corner, waiting for you to finish your job at the tavern. You then joined him and talked, always having something new and interesting to tell him.

Once you told him about Minghao accidently setting Junhui on fire after the older annoyed him a bit too much, or how Chan kept pestering Mingyu or Seungkwan with his notorious pranks that were often planned with Soonyoung. Although the stories were interesting to hear, Seungcheol didn't come to the tavern weekly for them. Rather he came for you, to stare at you and listen to your sweet voice. There was something about you that mad him want to come back, from jeonghan's point of view it was definitely a crush but Seungcheol didn't agree with that statement.

Maybe it was just that he wasn't treated like he was only a prince and not an actual person.

Whatever it was, he knew for sure that he didn't mind the feeling. It didn't get in the way of his work and it made him somewhat more peaceful to think about you. So he didn't really think too much about it.

"Cheol?" Your voice interrupted his thoughts and he looked up at you, returning your smile with one of his own as you sat down opposite of him. Your hair was loose today and you wore a green dress, which was covered in pearls that Seungkwan probably gave you and Seungcheol could also notice the little acorns hanging in your hair. He had the same ones, Soonyoung had a habit of collecting things and handing them out to his friends as little trinkets and this week it was acorns. His mother had started growing suspicious when she found all trinkets in Seungcheol's room, some weirder than others, and he didn't know how to explain that a pixie gave those to him.

"I have an errand to run, would you like to join me?" You asked and Seungcheol nodded before standing up, maybe a bit too quickly. You didn't seem to notice it, only smiling as you grabbed a box before walking out with him.

"So, will you be going to the prince's party?" "What?" Seungcheol looked at you in confusion and you paused before pulling a paper from your pocket, almost dropping the box in the process. When he saw the paper, Seungcheol could only laugh.

Of course his parents planned a ball in his name, an engagement party at that. In bold letters was a mentioning of a search for the future queen, underneath a smaller mention that even "monsters" were invited. Sure, they didn't say monsters but Seungcheol knew his parents and their dislike for the magical.

"Jeonghan said that all of you were going and I don't think my friends would pass up on a party." You joked and Seungcheol could only give you a weak smile.

He hadn't told you, he hadn't told anyone. He believed that Seungkwan knew, because Vernon couldn't keep his mouth shut to the siren that he called his best friend.

"I might go, yes." He finally answered, although his heart felt heavy. He had to tell you, he had to do so now.

"Great, I'll see you there!" You didn't give him the chance as you suddenly bolted off with the box in your arms and giving him no chance to follow. He could only watch your figure disappear.

The ball was here, but Seungcheol didn't want to go out into the hall. He felt like he'd suffocate, his clothes felt too tight and his lungs felt like they were filling with water. The crown that laid on his head felt like it was made with cement, pushing him down and yet he could not take it off. His parents were waiting for him inside and so was everyone else, but you would be there too.

"-cheol!" A voice yelled out to him, but the words sounded muffled like he was underwater and his sight had turned blurry. Jeonghan stood before him, a worried look on his face that would normally make Seungcheol laugh. Now he couldn't, his lack of air made it impossible to think straight and it was then that someone else's figure entered his vision. A hand laid on his back, one finger softly tapping his back in a rhythm. He was quick to try and follow said rhythm, pushing his breath in and out of his lungs at the right pace until he finally could see properly again.

"Now why on earth were you having a panic attack?" Jihoon's voice rang out from behind Seungcheol and he was quick to thank the younger as he got back up on his feet.

"Let's just go..." Seungcheol mumbled as he made his way to the giant doors. The others made their ways inside by a different door, waiting for Seungcheol to enter.

"Where's Cheol?" You asked Jihoon, who only stared ahead at the spot where the others stood. Jeonghan and Joshua stood by the throne, dressed both in white clothes that you were sure that were their official clothes, and Vernon stood a bit below by his fellow soldiers. When your question wasn't answered, you just sighed softly before waiting.

Then Seungcheol came out of the giant doors.

Dressed in his royal clothes,. A white shirt with a royal blue jacket on top of it, the jacket embroidered with golden details and little gems covered the bottom, and black pants that showed of his lean figure. And of course, the golden crown hidden behind the curls of his hair. He looked stunning.

"He's the crown prince..." Soonyoung was the first to speak out of all of you, his eyes trained on Seungcheol as the prince descended down the stairs with his eyes to the ground.

The ball began, but all of you remained in the same spot with a bit of shock.

"He definitely looks the part, no?" Seungkwan spoke up next, his arm wrapping around your shoulders as he stared at the prince with a smile. You were still staring as well, unaware of Seungkwan beside you as you tried to process everything.

"I'm in love with the crown prince..." The words were barely a whisper, yet your group had heard them all too well as they all turned to you in shock.

"You should go to her." Jeonghan spoke, nudging Seungcheol happily as he watched the scene before him. The group was surrounding you, all happily yapping away and Jeonghan could hear every single thing. Not that Seungcheol had to know that just yet, Jeonghan wanted a bit more chaos today.

Seungcheol nodded, making his way down to the dance floor. All girls had their eyes on him, all thinking the same thing. They needed to dance with the future king. Seungcheol didn't give them a chance as he strode your way and Junhui was the first to pull him closer to the group with a happy smile, leaving most girls disappointed.

"(Y/n)?" He talked to you first and the rest grew quiet, all watching the exchange with mischievous smiles. You looked at him before nodding, waiting for him to say what he wanted to. Seungcheol didn't say anything for a few seconds, taking in how beautiful you looked in your dress.

"Dance? I mean, would you like to dance? With me?" He asked, almost glaring at the others as he heard their stifled laughter. You, on the other hand, looked at him in shock before recovering and quickly agreeing. With that, Seungcheol took ahold of your hand in his before guiding you to the dance floor. The music changed just as you reached it, a slower but lively melody that both of you immediatley smiled at.

Seungcheol pulled you a bit closer, one hand on your waist while the other still held one of yours. Then he started to guide you to the dance, the music guiding him as the two of you danced across the dance floor. For some reason, you felt so happy that flowers started to grow in your hair and covering your dress. Seungcheol could only smile.

"You seem happy. You're even growing azaleas." He commented and you laughed softly, trying to not step on his feet as you laughed. You were unconsciously growing his birth flowers, which only meant one thing.

You were certainly in love with Seungcheol.

"You're in love with me?" Seungcheol's voice pulled your from your thoughts, making you realize that you said your last thoughts out loud. Your eyes widened, staring at Seungcheol as you tried to come up with an excuse. You didn't need to, however, as Seungcheol only smiled brightly in return before pulling you a bit closer. He leaned down until he reached your ear.

"I love you too." He whispered before leaning back up and continuing to dance to the music. Although still shocked, you followed his movements as you tried to process it everything. Only when the music stopped, you realized everything. With wide eyes, you pointed your finger at yourself in surprise.

"You like me?" You asked, a slight stutter in your voice and Seungcheol nodded at you with a smile.

"Kiss each other already!" Jeonghan's voice sounded in both your and Seungcheol's heads, making you both glare at him intensely as you made your way off of the dance floor.

"You're a couple now, right?" Seungkwan was the first to ask, both him and Seokmin looking at the two of you in excitement while the others just tried to suppress their laughter once more. Seungcheol kept quiet, almost like he was waiting for you to answer the question. So you agreed to it, smiling brightly as you watched Seungcheol's face go red.

"Don't you agree?" You asked him, giving him a sweet smile that only made his face go redder than before. His mouth opened before closing again, his eyes staring at the ground and you could only smile at how cute he looked at that moment.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

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caraetdeul · 2 months

Text

Favorite Color

CEO!Choi Seungcheol x reader

Love moves in mysterious ways (and probably even colorful ones).

A/N: this can be read as a part 2 of the other CEO smau that I did for Coups but you don't have to read it to understand this one. Enjoy reading caratdeuls!

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Taglist: @moonwonuu @belladaises

#caraetdeul.blr #seventeen #seventeen fluff #seventeen au #seventeen x reader #choi seungcheol #seungcheol x reader #scoups x reader #scoups x y/n #seventeen smau #choi seungcheol x reader #seventeen choi seungcheol #scoups x you #seventeen scoups #scoups

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ceebit · 2 years

Text

wc : 2.5k. teacher!au. fem prns used.

note : here’s part two ! crying over this so hard where’s my own cheol </3 | part one here <3

you haven’t seen seungcheol since your impromptu lunch not-date disaster. even your students are starting to pick up one your downturned demeanor, sending you pitied looks and pouty frowns when you visibly deflate everytime someone who isn’t him knocks at your door.

soo-ah especially seems to be the most disheartened, quietly pattering up to your beanbag chair in the corner during nap time. she climbs into your lap without a word and you let her, gently brushing away strands of hair from her face as she settles against your chest.

“miss yn?” she mumbles after a few minutes of silence, little hand curled into your cardigan. it’ll be rumpled by the time everyone gets up, but you don’t have the heart to tell her to let go. “is mr. cheol not your friend anymore?”

your heart sinks at her dejection. you didn’t even know how to answer it without your heart wilting in sadness, so you take to playing with her hair to distract the sad thoughts from blooming.

“we’re still friends,” you answer, though you don’t sound convincing even to yourself. “mr. cheol has just… he’s been busy. you know he teaches his own class as well,”

“but he would always come and say hello! even in class!” you gently put a finger to your lips and glance at the other students, and soo-ah pouts but lowers her voice. “i miss him…”

something in your chest breaks. “me too, sweetheart.” your voice is a whisper as you hold her close, head resting atop hers. “me, too.”

nap time comes and goes, but the silent treatment remains firm.

you pass jeonghan in the halls a few times, running errands in between breaks, and you try your best to inquire about his closest friend without seeming too imposing. he just shrugs, aura of nonchalance off putting at front, but the look he sends you says otherwise.

“cheol’s stubborn,” he murmurs over the copy machine, a helping hand in your towers of worksheets needed in the next thirty minutes. “it’s not the first time i’ve had to pull his head out of his ass.”

you frown slightly, nudging his shoulder, and jeonghan snorts.

“that’s cute. defending his honor even when he’s been radio silent.”

“hannie,”

“i’m just saying,” he relents, but his mirth never leaves. “besides. i wouldn’t take it personally. he’s head of field day this year and has been really busy, though. try talking to him then, yeah?”

your answering okay is less enthusiastic at the timeline, but your thank him nonetheless with a faint smile as your worksheets finish printing. the moment you slip out of the office and the door clicks shut, jeonghan whips his phone out to fire off a slew of texts.

jh: can’t believe i’m playing middle man because you’re too afraid to ask if she’s actually seeing him -_-

jh: you have until field day to get yourself together, you big oaf

jh: you’re lucky i didn’t tell her you’re hiding out in your office because you can’t face her ….

his phone dings not too long after.

sc: yeah yeah.

sc: thanks.

jeonghan rolls his eyes.

jh: you can thank me when you finally make a MOVE !!

summer is bright on the horizon, the sun beaming down its pretty rays for all to bask in, and you shed your hoodie lest you begin to sweat through it. a few whistles and friendly cheers follow suit, and you all but wave them off cheekily, striking a silly pose that makes your students gathered around you burst into giggles.

joshua’s borrowed baseball cap nestled comfortably on your head, you grin down at all fifteen of them with newfound vigor. it was your first field day as a pledis elementary teacher, but you figured the same rules applied to any regular old sports filled day—fight hard, play fair, but win at all costs. and you expected nonetheless from each and every one of your little fighters.

clapping twice to gain their attention, you place your hands on your legging-clad thighs to lower yourself to their level. “are we ready to play?”

“yeah!” soo-ah and a few other pump their fists in the air, and your heart swells at their enthusiasm.

“are we ready to win?”

“yeah!” wriggling in excitement, a few of your boys begin taunting the nearby classes, and you look up to share amused glances with joshua, yaerin, and a few other teachers.

“your kids definitely seemed pumped,” joshua greets when you usher them to the starting line of the egg spoon race, hands propped on your hips after you step back. “must be something in the air?”

“it’s definitely contagious,” you agree, but you throw him a sly look. “i definitely think soo-ah was born with it, though. she looks ready to eat your poor kids alive…”

true to your word, the glint in soo-ah’s brown eyes is especially noticeable on the field, quickly claiming the leader title and dividing her classmates into sections according to each game. if you didn’t know any better, you’d have thought she’d been planning this for months.

“don’t come crying to me when you get bested by my students,” you tease, and joshua shoves your shoulder playfully in response. the two of you laugh amongst yourselves for a bit, and in the midst of your jostling, you spot… him.

joshua relents at your distracted state and follows your gaze to where seungcheol stands with his assistant, vernon, and jeonghan. you recognized vernon from your last board meeting, blunt commentary making it almost impossible to keep a straight face, and you raise a hand to wave slightly.

vernon waves back, hollering something no doubt crudely hilarious, and joshua snickers when jeonghan slaps his shoulder in response. you’re not looking at them, though.

neither is he.

“you guys are so gross.” joshua pretends to gag when he notices, and tugs you over to where yaerin stands leading a playful chant with his students. “tell yn she’s being gross and in love.”

“you’re being gross and in love,” your best friend repeats without missing a beat, and to your horror, the students repeat that as well.

“miss yn is being gross! and in L-O-V-E!”

“joshua hong and kim yaerin, i swear to all things sweet and holy—”

“miss yn is being gross! and in L-O-V-E!” they join the chant with matching smirks, even doing a strangely coordinated dance that sends them both and his students into hysterics. you groan, thoroughly embarrassed by the curious glances you receive, but can’t help the grin you try to hide behind your palm.

this field day was definitely going to be interesting.

“are we having a good time??”

seungkwan grins behind the megaphone as the crowd before him erupts into cheers, students stomping their feet enthusiastically. seungcheol stands next to him looking pleased, and your smile softens at the sight of him looking happy.

it’s not for you, though. the brim of joshua’s cap hides the falter in your gaze.

“so! the scoreboard for this year’s field day is very close. as you all know, mr. hong’s class—”

“it’s joshua!” he hollers from beside you, hands cupped around his mouth as he grins mischievously. “we’re not in class, kwannie, we can be a little informal!”

seungkwan’s expression deadpans in his direction amongst the titters of scattered laughter and muffled snorts, and you all but roll your eyes in good nature.

“as you all know,” seungkwan repeats flatly, “joshie’s class came first last year—”

joshua makes an offended sound at the nickname, and you duck your head to poorly hide your laugh.

“—during the students’ games. but cheol’s team came first in the staff dodgeball game.”

a low murmur rises above the crowd and joshua squints in amusement. you can feel cheol’s stare in your direction, but you don’t meet his eyes.

“same rules apply as last game: the staff will be split in two through a game of rock paper scissors. if you get hit, you’re out, but only below the shoulder. we don’t want a repeat of last year.”

you’re about to turn to ask joshua what could have possibly happened, but soonyoung’s outraged hey! prompts enough laughter to garner a general idea.

“the reigning champion is captain of one team of course,” seungkwan continues, “and this year’s opposing team captain is….”

joshua grips your arm. seungcheol’s gaze narrows, and seungkwan grin takes on a cheshire look.

“yn!”

your jaw drops in surprise, but you quickly mask it with a fierce grin despite your heart hammering in your chest. “i accept!”

the cheers swarm around your head as you excuse yourself up to the stand, waving out to the crowd as you stand next to seungkwan.

“yn’s debut is already impressive! her class is already ranked first in all the games,” seungkwan appraises you with an impressed nod, “but will she keep it up until the end of the game!

“yes she will!”

you grin as soo-ah’s voice pipes up from the crowd, waving eagerly up at you sporting a wide smile to match yours. your students are quick to pick up on the cheer, and soon, the crowd is chanting your name as you beam with pride.

“yn’s got some fans, i see,” seungkwan raises a brow. “but i don’t see cheol wavering one bit! typical of our reigning champion.”

“i won’t go down without a fight,” seuncheol states smoothly, and for a moment, meets your gaze. “let’s hope she can keep up.”

“with the way you complain about your back? it’s you i’m worried about,” you shoot back, and he makes to shake your arm in retaliation but is stopped by seungkwan’s arm.

“let’s save it for the battlefield,” he grins. “may the seventh annual teacher’s dodgeball game begin!”

the games of rock paper scissors are quick and brutal, and you sweep your gaze across your team with a stern expression. joshua, minghao, vernon amongst your team, you nod a quick greeting to the others you vaguely remember and flash a smile.

“hey everyone. i’m new here as you all know,” you address the team, and they all snap to attention. “but i’ve never let that deter me from getting what i want. i’m here to win and won’t expect anything else from each one of you.”

you place a hand in front of you, determined and steady. “are we in it to win, or are we here to be played?”

joshua and vernon immediately place their hands over yours with grins to match, and one by one, you see the spirit filter through everyone else.

“let’s crush the other team.”

turning around, you point to seungcheol with a lazy smirk as your team cheers behind you.

“prepare to eat grass!”

vernon cracks up at the play on words. you don’t hear his answering holler due to jeonghan tugging him in the opposite direction, but his expression says everything you need to know. he wasn’t backing down from this game, but neither were you.

“well this is an interesting turn of events.”

seungkwan looks insanely pleased, leaning forwards from his announcer’s post. visor blocking the sun from blinding his view, he brings his megaphone to his lips once more.

“looks like we’ve boiled down to just two players—our beloved captains, no less.”

ball in hand, you pay no mind to seungkwan’s hosting as you focus on the player before you. emptyhanded, he has two balls on either side of him that he doesn’t reach, gaze locked on your every move. he knows if he bolts for either one, you’ll tag him out as soon as he turns his back—and it’ll be game over, his winning history halting to a stop.

seungcheol frowns, his predicament dire, and hisses quietly when you move opposite him when he inches closer to the ball on the left. he looks fed up, brows furrowed, and you can’t help the cocky smile that spreads across your lips at the sight.

“what’s the matter?” you coo, and mirror his movements as he makes another failed attempt. “they’re right there… only a few steps and you’d have one.”

yn, no flirting on the field! someone that suspiciously sounds like yaerin shouts, and you stifle a giggle at the retort.

“you’re a piece of work,” seungcheol groans, and shakes his head.

“you like it,” is out of your mouth before you can stop it, and it stuns you both.

what?

his eyes widen, lips parted as he stands straighter, and you take your chance before he can form any words about your slip up. your ball hits his leg and he grunts, the ball ricocheting from the force of your throw before he can grasp it.

seungkwan’s whistle echoes in your ears and you fall to the grass in relief.

soo-ah bolts out of joshua’s arms and careens into you at full speed, yelling excitedly as your team and students burst into cheers. you’re knocked flat on your back but you laugh, hugging the girl to your grass stained shirt with a grin. your name is chanted as you’re hoisted up and onto joshua and vernon’s shoulders, and you allow yourself to laugh and wave as seungkwan hands you a little trophy.

“congratulations to yn leading her team to victory in her first year!” he points to your grinning face, “we expect to see great things from you.”

the crowd disperses for food and drinks after you’re congratulated more times than you can count, but the one person you’re looking for is no where to be found. handing soo-ah your trophy, to which she squeals in delight and rushes to boast about, you spot him loitering near a secluded area and you approach him with caution.

“…hi.” your voice makes him look up, and you suppress a shiver as his gaze washes over the green patches on your white tee. you offer a smile, “no hard feelings?”

he simply holds your gaze, silence becoming too much to bare, so you open your mouth to rattle off an excuse and slip away—but he stops you with a hand on your arm and draws you close.

“you’re a piece of work,” he murmurs, and flicks the brim of your cap. you shoot him a dirty look and he smiles, finally, when you fix it. “but i do like it.”

you freeze, embarrassment creeping up your neck. “that was just shit talking,” you laugh nervously, hands waving. “i didn’t mean it—”

“but i do like it,” he repeats, and his smile turns fond. “i like you.”

oh.

your hands drop to your sides, lips parted in surprise. “you do? i mean, i thought it was obvious that i liked you—i mean, what—”

he laughs and you pull the cap further down on your head. seungcheol only lowers himself so you meet his eyes in your sheepish state, and a pretty smile tugs at the corners of his lips.

“i want to take you out for lunch. for real,” he adds with a pointed look, and you bat at his arm. “maybe…. this friday? after classes?”

“i’ll smell like glue,” you retort weakly.

“it beats the smell of the gym any day.”

bonus:

soo-ah watches the two of you proudly from where she’s perched in seungkwan’s lap, and high-fives him when seungcheol pulls you into a hug.

“i still can’t believe she planned on this,” yaerin stares at the little girl in awe. “is every kid in the school a genius?”

“no,” joshua snorts, “just this one.”

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