Semi vent:

There's nothing like me feeling inferior because I'm Turkish... Yeah. I sometimes have those feelings and I don't want to tell why because I don't want to end up writing angry and potentially triggering stuff :(

So yeah... I just felt like this in the afternoon and it was horrible because it led me to feel the "wanting to disappear" feelings I haven't had for a few weeks... But I don't want to disappear now so, yeah. Luckily I got over those feelings which is a miracle for me but still

Solomon, who notices a white hair on your pretty little head. Then is shocked but amazed too by this surprise before him.

Solomon, who lovingly teases you over it, and imagines how you would look with white/silver hair like him.

Solomon, who is trying to look at the positives from this all, but not the negatives. Of you showing your aging quicker/sooner than expected.

Solomon, who fears the days are moving too fast now and wonders if he can bear to watch his beautiful flower. Slowly began to age, and wilt, and die, before him now.

Whenever I see a proshipper be like "DNI are stupid and unnecessary" I roll my eyes. Genuinely.

God forbid people sets a boundary for themselves. You're not entitled to someone's else's time especially when they make that boundary clear and known. You're not entitled to know their reasoning.

Someone's an asshole and crosses that boundary??? Guess what! It's not the person with "DNI" fault. You know who it is??? The person who crosses that exact boundary.

I get it, you can't control what everyone can do- but people are also allowed to curate their own expirence. Getting mad at someone for not wanting to associate with your community feels like a self-report tbh.

I must feed the starving people and angst is always the food of choice

"prayed like a Father, dusk to dawn tempted the Devil with my song you, my peace of mind, my all, my center if my wants and needs divide me, then I might as well be gone"

[ x ]

people loooovvveee masc women when they're talking about abby, but when it's ellie?when you throw the word "butch" into the mix? blasphemy, i guess.

Gotta be honest im at a point where I don’t want to hear anything about what Nintendo pulls out of its ass abt zelda and focus on fandom but also I dont want to hear what the tloz fandom has to say cause they’re usually (usually) wrong

So I might as well make myself a hole and pretend that the TLoZ franchise ended back when botw came out

Everybody loves a winner

so nobody loved me

Uh, can my parents not question me because I chose to chill in bed? And no, I'm not sick or anything, I just want to chill in bed.

Like, how many questions do they need to ask before they just shut up? And no, they're not worried about me. Because I know they don't care about me at all after I told them how I felt about life in general and they refused to get help and instead blamed me so yeah. (I could tell more examples of how my parents don't care about me but I'm lazy)

Showing off pics in the GC got me feeling self-conscious about my body again and wondering how tf I could ever pull a clone trooper looking like this-

how to get validation without seeming annoying or making it obvious that you need validation to survive. puter do you hear me

MY ART FOR THE BMC ZINE!!!

i hate having memory issues

I dunno, guys, I think I may need to take a break from the Internet, for a number of reasons. I'm very burnt out at the moment from my job, which I don't enjoy as much as I used to and which I may end up quitting, as well as the production of Cats I'm currently involved in (in a LEAD ROLE!) that is almost over but has still taken up a lot of my time.

Also, I've had a bad habit of doomscrolling and giving myself secondhand trauma from reading and seeing so many horrible stories of abuse, trauma, crime, etc. on the Internet for a few years ago now, but right now it's reached a high. I don't know why my anxiety tends to make me run towards things that cause me further distress than avoid them, but it just does. I can't explain it. And no matter where I go, I seem to run into these kinds of stories. Whether it's a Youtube comment where a user shares a story of the horrible traumas they've experienced in the past or present or the reason why they want to die, or another headline about the terrors happening in Palestine or Ukraine. It doesn't help that I have an unnaturally high amount of empathy and a tendency to imagine myself vividly in these people's shoes. Oh, and I believe that a user on here I came across who expressed intentions of suicide and who I tried to help, is dead now. She hasn't posted or responded to my messages in over two months.

I don't know what made me this way. It could be my mom's obsession with true crime stories and the ID channel, or the fact that I've inevitably run into those kinds of accounts here and elsewhere. Either way, it frightens me and makes me wish more than ever that I could erase certain memories with no problem and continue on with the life that has, so far, been pretty kind to me.

Until I can get myself together and stop getting myself overly upset about how horribly cruel human beings can be to one another in so many ways, I may have to step back from the Internet and social media, except maybe to share artwork. I recognize that my mental health is starting to go down a slippery slope at this moment, and I recognize how important it is to take care of it and do what's best for me. And I hope you all realize that I want YOU to do what's best for you, too, as long as it doesn't hurt you. Caring for others is important, but so is caring for yourself.

This all being said, I'm going to a little less active on here for just a little while. I'm sorry for being so open all of a sudden, but I hope you understand.

theyre not impressed

Semi vent. I dread going home