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themattress · 4 months

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And now, I just feel compelled to sing the praises of one of Kingdom Hearts' greatest heroes:

SHIRO. MOTHERFUCKING. AMANO!

The more time passes, the more amazed I am by this man. He's had a hero's journey IRL when it comes to his place in the franchise: jumping at the call but being inexperienced and screwing up, reaching his lowest point before rising, dealing with great adversity only to come out of it stronger than ever, and becoming a beloved hero to many who continues to do good.

KH1 was his first manga adaptation, and for the most part it's your by-the-numbers comic book adaptation of a story from a non-comic book medium, not especially good or especially bad. But Amano showed three weaknesses: he mischaracterized the KH-original characters (Sora, Kairi, Riku and Ansem all start out on point, but once Destiny Islands is destroyed this changes drastically: Sora turns into a spastic moron, Kairi into a bland bystander, Riku into an emotionless tool, and Ansem into an over-the-top eeeevil lunatic who actually gets himself killed without any contribution from Sora, Donald and Goofy!), he sucked at action scenes leading to many iconic battles from the game being straight-up left out altogether, and his gag manga inclinations caused him to turn scenes that should be serious / emotional into jokes.

CoM was his aforementioned lowest point. All those flaws were not only still there, but worse, turning what was once a dark, mysterious and psychological story into an unfunny farce.

Disgraceful. For a good while, I actually disliked Shiro Amano due to this.

But then came the redemption: KH2. The Prologue section of this manga is masterfully done, possibly even better than the game's version. The pace is less sluggish, the events less irritatingly obtuse, and the humor actually works to the benefit of the story's seriousness - because so much of the goofy humor is between Roxas, Hayner, Pence and Olette, you build even more of an emotional connection to them and the tragedy of Roxas learning the truth about his life hits that much harder when it transpires. When Sora returns, Amano is briefly tempted by his old inclinations and kind of backslides, with the resulting trips to Hollow Bastion, Beast's Castle, Land of Dragons and Olympus Coliseum suffering as a result. They aren't quite as insulting as the CoM manga, but still bad. However, true to hero's journey form this period of temptation and backsliding passes and only reinforces Amano's commitment to improving and actually balancing his humor and adaptational changes with drama, emotional sincerity and faithfulness to the game. From Disney Castle on, he returns to quality output. There are still mistakes here and there, but on the whole the manga is an enjoyable one. From the characterization to the action scenes to the tonal balance, Amano had improved.

And then came the hiatus between its first half and second half, during which he worked on the 358/2 Days manga. Take what I said about KH2's Prologue, then apply it x10, and you get this manga, where the writing and pacing is improved from its game counterpart and the humor is rich, well-timed and actively feeds into the drama and tragedy of the story rather than detract from it. To make the contrast to how far he's come most apparent, remember how in the CoM manga where there's an omake short that makes a complete joke out of the Riku Replica, originally one of the story's most tragic characters? Well in this manga, we get an omake short about a Dusk, which starts out hilarious but then ends up being absolutely heart-breaking. It makes me legit sad over a goddman DUSK. Now that takes real talent!

What's also apparent with the Days and KH2 mangas is that Amano had come to shine in a way that Tetsuya Nomura absolutely does not: respect for his female leads. Kairi, Namine and Xion in these mangas aren't primarily sources of support for male characters or there to make male characters feel things above all else; they are their own distinct individuals with vivid personalities and clear character arcs. Even Olette shines brighter than in the games!

Once Amano made it back to the KH2 manga for its second half, he was firing on all cylinders. Again, not everything was perfect, but much like the game itself the narrative flaws were not enough to overshadow the many more narrative strengths. And when the manga finally concluded after so many years, Amano confirmed that it truly was the end. He would not be adapting other KH games. And given that the rest of the KH series never got better than where KH2 ended, this was absolutely for the best. I could very easily imagine the Olympian gods making a constellation in Amano's image, as he had become a true hero.

However, oh no! He got persuaded into adapting KH3 when it came out in 2019! This is going to ruin everything, right? WRONG! The KH3 manga has not only been a shining example of how far Shiro Amano has come, but also a masterclass in demonstrating how acutely aware of the game's problems he is and the lengths he is willing to go to fix them. For example...

- He opens the manga with a direct adaptation of the game's opening scene with the Boy in Black and Boy in White in front of the chess board followed by the FMV intro. By doing things in this strange way, Amano invites the possibility of this being an alternate, diverging timeline from the prior manga continuity so that its ending remains untouched should you desire it to be. Almost as if the Boy in Black and Boy in White reside in some higher plane of existence and the KH3 manga is the "game" that they're playing, so it's not to be taken too seriously.

- The whole opening that semi-recaps stuff leading into KH3 is played off as a joke, and given that the stuff in question was stupid (such as the Mark of Mastery exam through sleeping worlds and Sora failing his Mark of Mastery exam on bullshit grounds), this is appreciated.

- He actually makes Maleficent and Pete more competent; rather than have Maleficent dismiss Pete's idea to take Sora out while he's still weak, he has both of them agree that they needn't bother with Sora because his weakness will lead him to being destroyed by the Xehanorganization anyway. They can find the black box while their foes fight each other.

- 0.2 BBS is adapted after the Olympus visit in a way that also recaps the most important points of BBS and includes stronger characterization for Aqua, Terra and Ventus. Stupid things like Mickey losing his shirt are avoided, and there is actually clarification on how Mickey could not have gone into the Realm of Darkness to save Aqua earlier and all the time between KH1 and KH2 he was building up his strength to obtain the Power of Waking so that he could as he promised to, making him come off so much better than he did in the games.

-Coded is not referenced, ever.

- The "Roxas and Namine ceased to exist when they merged with Sora and Kairi" retcon is completely avoided, with the manga instead saying they do exist within them as was originally the case in KH2. Giving Roxas his own body is less correcting some injustice or "hurt" and more part because he's needed for the battle against Xehanort and part because Sora's just a nice guy like that, wanting to provide his friends with all the basic comforts.

- Xehanort's master plan retcon is also discarded! Here it's said that Ansem and Xemnas' plans remained their own, as they should be, and that since Master Xehanort's return he's embarked on "a new plan" once joined by his time-traveling younger self, who never mentions needing Ansem for his time-traveling which keeps things consistent with how KH2 depicted time travel as simply a magical phenomenon that didn't need complicated rules.

- Not only are Riku and Kairi way more in-character than they were in the game, but most shockingly Axel is too! He actually feels like Axel, character flaws and all, not dumbass Lea!

- Toy Box, Corona and Arendelle, while still filler, are all adapted faithfully, which is nice.

- Various alterations are made for the better: the Riku Replica stuff is kept to an incredibly bare minimum, Ansem the Wise first appears in the scene where he returns to Radiant Garden meaning him still being alive is more of a legit twist plus he never meets Aqua only for there to be no pay-off and the dumbass plotline with him and Xehanort's Heartless is left out, the "secret Keyblade legacy" stuff with Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia and Larxene is cut, the second Kairi and Axel scene is no more, and the big reconvening at Yen Sid's Tower scene and the fallout montage is massively reworked into something far better written and paced.

All this plus maintaining his balance of humor and sincerity, including using the former to support the latter, and even correcting previous flaws (holy shit, Marluxia, Larxene, Vexen...they're all completely in-character now!) If Amano keeps this momentum going and actually manages to make something good out of the notoriously disappointing finale in the Keyblade Graveyard, then he will officially have given us the best version of KH3's story in existence.

Tl;dr: nothing but respect for Shiro Amano, who is a better writer than Nomura will ever be.

#Disney #Square Enix #Kingdom Hearts #Shiro Amano #Opinion #Analysis #Truthbomb #Anti-Nomura #Anti-Tetsuya Nomura #This has been a PSA

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temporalbystander · 1 year

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I told myself I wasn't going to ever make this post. Because I had hope. Because I wanted to believe that Miraculous had decent writing and that the sentiadren theory was not the pinnacle of what they could accomplish. Then season 5 happened. The first few episodes were good, it even forced me to make my blog solely Miraculous themed because the interactions I had with everyone were so much fun. Heck youve seen the reaction posts I did both in character and as myself.

(under the cut is a bunch of writing that you can take as me explaining my reasoning or just complaining. Either way, if you're hoping for anymore Miraculous content from me? Stories or screen caps, you best unfollow. Because I'm done.)

But then the leaks came. And, like an ancient being unable to properly use Facebook, I failed to avoid them. I told myself that certain spoilers didn't matter, that I could wait until the actual episodes came out to decide whether or not the salt was justified, that with a terrible memory like mine I'd forget it in no time (just look at some of the other screw ups I've made regarding Miraculous, it's not that far fetched.) However, as the number of Miraculous tags and blogs I followed began to grow the number of consenting opinions grew as well.

There are those who hate Marinette for being obsessed or a stalker when it comes to Adrien (who Id like to point out has had several episodes where we've seen his obsessed stalkers. Now Wayhem is creepy.) Those who love her and believe that all against her should suffer (which I was briefly a part of and still must fight my Alya bias even now.) And the same goes for the rest of the characters. But I still wanted to sit back and form my own opinions as cleanly as possible.

Needless to say, I failed. The more I stepped back and looked at the episodes, the more spoilers I failed to avoid to the episode screenshots I saw despite not having seen said episode yet. It all resulted in one clear opinion in my mind. Season 5 is a letdown. Not only because it's an out of order mess with the release dates but because it seemed more and more like pandering. Sentitheory is confirmed, Adrinette becomes canon, Lila gets revealed, Chloe gets punished and we get some LGBTQ+ recognition in the form of Zoe. (And Miss Bustier if I'm hearing right but I'm not really sure about that one.)

That should have been great, I'm all for writers letting the fans know they're appreciated. I was a brony during the 100th episode. That was like ambrosia for us fans. This? Felt like bad fanfiction and I know bad fanfiction, I've written tons of it. Firstly, why Zoe? If you're going to piss off Disney and other broadcasters, which I believe is why it was never done before, then why not confirm Rose and Juleka? Or Marc and Nathaniel? Why spend an episode saying something the fandom had basically decided the moment Zoe first showed up? And apparently it's just an end of episode confirmation where Marinette says she's flattered? I mean I get it but really? I don't know whether to be proud of her for not making a big deal of it or disappointed that the show doesn't make a bigger deal of it considering just how hard a confession like that can be. But you know what? I haven't watched the episode and I'm not going too so I probably shouldn't judge it.

What I will judge the everloving shit out of is the handling of Luka and Chloe. Luka must leave Paris because he knows who LB and CN are. That makes sense, we've seen in Star train that HawkMoth can't really sense or control his akuma's once they leave Paris so they'd have to leave to hunt Luka down. However Luka found out halfway through last season and, outside Ephemeral (which is its own set of issues) is never brought up. Seriously? I'm all for the Lukagami team up (which didn't actually end in Lukagami) for getting Adrinette together but you couldn't have had him pop up in a few more episodes to have him give excuses for the heroes to get away? Maybe pop up a bit more in support of Adrien? I'd be more upset if I hadn't known about the whole Luka leaving Paris, along with the Zoe confession, since BEFORE THE SEASON STARTED. But again, seperate issues.

And then there's Chloe. Oh Chloe. Now I wouldn't call myself a Chloe Stan. Until I actually started writing out ideas I didn't like her. She's the civilian foil to Marinette who is only put up with because her Daddy's the mayor and Adrien remembers when they had fun as little kids. The terrible airing of episodes didn't help either. Had I not been taking notes on every episode and had they not marathoned them on tv leading up to the release of the movies, I would have never put the pieces of her character together. Her self doubt, her abandonment by her mother, Mr. Cuddles and sucking her thumb? That is not the actions of evil incarnate. And what does the show do? LITERALLY REPLACE HER WITH ZOE!

And I don't mean the salty fans complaining about Mary Zoe as a replacement. No, the show doubles down by having the mayor adopt Zoe and send Chloe off with the mother who refuses to get her name right that Chloe doubts actually loves her. That? Is beyond fucked up. That? Is something I'd have written back when I didn't fully understand how tribulations and pain were parts of character growth. Just a simple "nah, Chloe bad. Zoe better. Just have Zoe." Seriously do you know how long it took me to realise that you can't just get rid of the bad guy if you want to make a good story?

And then, to cap it all off. HawkMoth gets his wish. On the bright side, if you wanted to know why Bunnix didn't show up until Evolution or during Ephemeral? That's why. Apparently Marinette feeling like a complete and utter failure is necessary for the future Alix comes from to happen. In fact, had Ephemeral happened before Wishmaker? Wed basically be watching season 6 right now. How else was Luka supposed to know what the hell Ladybug was talking about? Dudes not that smart I'm sorry. Hell nobody in the show is.

Seriously, who's genius fucking idea was it to have HawkMoth win this far into the show? Need I remind all of you how the wish is meant to work? It's a reset. A complete erasure and rewrite. There should be no "keeping secrets from Adrien" drama because, as far as the entire UNIVERSE is aware Emilie Agreste never vanished and whatever happened to Gabriel always happened. Hell the only one keeping secrets in this new world should be the kwamis since they're apparently the only ones who recognise what a reset looks like meaning they've experienced it before. And apparently they're all with their holders in this new universe? Hell I may watch the last episode just to figure out what crap they pull to try and explain everything. And why we should care about anything that happened in the past 8 YEARS if the "grand plan" of Astruc was just to erase it!

..... Sorry. I got way more frustrated towards the end there than I should have. If you have read this entire thing? Thanks and I'm sorry if I've wasted your time. What started out for me as a wonderful show about magic and love and typical good vs evil has now appears to have devolved into lazy writing, character assassination, retcons and repetition. I don't want to be one of the people who blame ZAG or TA or the writers about the problems of the show. That's more anger and salt then I need in my life. I'm just saying that, if this is the direction they choose to take it, that this was always the end point? Then I'm getting off here.

#mlb spoilers #mlb season 5 spoilers #ml spoilers #ml season 5 spoilers #ml s5 spoilers #ml leaks #ml salt #ml fandom salt #ml writers salt #self salt #mun talks #ooc #text wall

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sithvampiremaster27 · 3 months

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The Owl House 2.0?

(Something that might interest you Owl House fans):

I keep seeing articles on the Disney TV Animation News page about upcoming animated shows with the word "Witch" in their titles, like:

"The Witchverse"

or "Sam Witch"

It may be just me, but I think that with all these upcoming Witch shows, Disney TV is trying to make up for the fact that they cut The Owl House short/cancelled it...

And just this morning, another article on the Disney TV News page caught my attention: one about another upcoming Disney TV show called "Journey", and from what I read in that show's description, it sounds really Owl House-y:

According to the description, it's a Dungeons and Dragons-inspired fantasy-themed series starring a young girl called Journey, who loves fantasy stories (which immediately made me think of Luz), and her friend called Tunde, a young adventurer, who hangs out with his group of friends, who are "Magical outcasts" (Eda and King, anyone?)

Don't believe me? Go read the full article on the Disney TV Animation News page and see it for yourself.

All of this made me think: "Hmm... a Disney animated show with a fantasy-setting starring a weird girl and a bunch of Magical outcasts... where did I hear all that before? Could it be that certain *other* Disney show with a fantasy-setting starring a weird girl and a bunch of misfit Witches? The one that oh-so-playfully got screwed over by executive meddling?"

This new "Journey" show sounds interesting, and judging by the description I read in that article, it just might be Disney TV's apology for cancelling/shortening The Owl House. I think we're going to get what might as well could be The Owl House 2.0. (Also, I'm hoping it won't suffer the same fate as TOH...)

If you don't believe me, then again: go read the full article on the Disney TV Animation News page.

#disney tv #the owl house #journey #disney journey #journey series #disney journey series #best news i heard all day

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neoyi · 2 years

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The Owl House Season Three Thoughts

Probably my dumping ground for season three talks. *shrugs*

You can read my general thoughts on the first two season here: https://neoyi.tumblr.com/post/698412600252366848/neoyi-neoyi-neoyi-neoyi-neoyi

"Thanks to Them" spoilers.

It was abundantly clear by the latter half of season two that the creators had to introduce, establish, and progress major plots and character developments within the last ten or so episodes because of Disney's screw-up. It's a damn miracle it ran as efficiently as it did.

Apparently they had to alter the plot by that point, which does explain why it didn't feel overstuffed as I thought it would be. Sure, a couple of things feel clumsily inserted (the Collector's presence is an abrupt introduction than a gradual foreshadowing of What Was To Come), but for the most part, they altered its course pretty damn well.

Time will tell if Dana Terrance will be able to finish the show off given what little she was forced to work with (man, I do not blame her for feeling angry), but season three's opener "Thanks to Them" is a good indicator of what may be to come: simultaneously stuffing the episodes with as much content as they needed in the most economical way possible.

It's really, really, reaaaaaaaaaally evident in the beginning montage how many shit they had to squeeze in within just two minutes: Luz coming out to her mother, the kids trying to create a new portal door, the witch kids trying to blend into Earth and its customs, Hunter suffering PTSD and getting an Important Haircut to try and be his own person, the feckin' rain that the kids can experience without fearing for their lives? All of these are worth their own episodes. We'll never get time for Gus to truly take in the human world. That's several episode plots right there. We'll never see Hunter gradually getting possessed by Belos with cliffhangers and plot twists that would have left us aching to know what happens next. We'll never get Camila and Luz having heart-to-heart once the latter comes out. It's a really adorable montage of What Could Have Beens.

I want to believe Dana Terrance, knowing she owes Disney nothing now that her show is cancelled, means she's going to be like, fuck everything, and come right out, ON-SCREEN, to say that Luz is bisexual as fuck. I mean, what's Disney gonna do? Cancel the show some more?

This is so unapologetic, as it should be. (Also double props to Camila who wears a pride rainbow badge afterward. A++ mom.)

I love how far Vee has come that she's not only familiar with Earth custom and is able to guide the witch kids, but has developed a human identify of her own. She has to hide what she is to the public, but not who she is to people close to her.

Even their version of the Duolingo Owl is as persistently demonic as ours.

It's sweet to see the witch kids and Vee learning Spanish. Luz took the time to learn the Boiling Isle's culture, it would make sense they want to do the same with Luz's heritage.

Man, these kids have some choice fashions.

I forgot Hunter was trying to sew the Golden Guard's crest episodes back until I did a rewatch and got to that episode. So what a nice callback here where he's using Camila sewing machine to make more patches! I cannot believe this fucking kid made his own version of the Three Wolves Howling At Moon shirt. Of course he thinks wolves are Cool and Mystical. What a goddamn dork.

THE GODDAMN GIRAFFES. Like did it show off its true face because it recognized the witch kids as from the Boiling Isles? Surely, many humans have taken pictures of this creature that if it had made the same horrifying face, someone would have noticed and said something by now. (Then again, that shitty conspiracy guy was correct in his suspicion, sooo...)

Damn, these kids are fashionable as fuck.

Gooooood, this is such a cute, heartwarming scene. Every time something bad happens to this kid, I want to wrap him up in a blanket and give him hot cocoa. And now, he finally has people who would and likely has done that for him (Camila would definitely give him a blanket and a nice meal.) This is probably the safest Hunter's been since he found out about Belos. And even before then, his entire life was built to be a soldier and personal assistant to a kingly figure. I don't know how Belos treated him, but I doubt it was the kind of warm and sincere comfort Luz, her friends, and her mother has been giving him since their time on Earth. I don't think Hunter has ever had to experience just lying in bed, reading nerdy books and relating to its characters, and sewing just because he wants to sew the things he likes and not for the role Belos gave him since birth. He's finally found an identity for himself, free of Belos. And it's because he IS Hunter, and not Phillip's brother-clone, that he's able to free himself from Belos' influence at the end. This kid went through the best character development in the entire damn show and he's a dumpster fire who deserves hugs and cookies.

Ahh, I see Luz has good taste in indie games.

Masha's non-binary colored nails are on point. Did they always have them in their first appearance or was this added for season three? Need to check sometime.

Ahh, THIS explains why Flapjack was drawn to Hunter.

So this episode completely recontextualized the relationship between Luz and Camila and I was not prepared for it. I just thought Camila didn't get Luz, tried to figure out a solution, and handled it wrong. I was not expecting Camila to have also grown up as a nerd, outcast and bullied in her youth, with fears of her daughter going through the same. I wasn't even sure if Luz's father would have even played a part in their story or was just background, but he did and now we get why their relationship was slowly starting to falter because grief fucking sucks and it causes you to cope in different, and sometimes not often good ways. It's heartbreaking to see Camila, who so loved Luz's eccentricity, cave into the criticisms of judgmental adults. Given she's always stood up for Luz in the latter's youth, I think she collapsed and just gave up when her husband died. Meanwhile Luz had an outlet brought about by her favorite book series (now much more meaningful because it came from her father), but overcompensated and unintentionally caused problems in school and her social life. It explains a lot of the earlier hints in previous episodes where we see Camila still embracing and amused by Luz's creativity, but also contradicting it with concerns against it. Everything makes sense now and together, they can finally work to heal and grow.

I love how blatant the animation took a huge bump up for the Witch kids vs. Possessed Hunter fight. I'm especially impressed by Possessed Hunter's lip sync. The way his mouth moves is particularly nuanced compared to the usual way its animated. I honestly thought they got James Baxter to guest animate. It just feels like he'd be the guy who would do stuff like Willow grabbing one of Possessed Hunter's arms and twisting it around like that, but apparently someone else animated this? Whoever you are, I salute you.

Man, I thought Belos was paste by "King's Tide." Sure, there was that hint when one of his goop landed on Hunter's shoulder that brought him to Earth, but I was maybe expecting one of those Last Remnants Of Him With No Mind To Take Final Revenge kinda thing. In any case, it was important for him to come back so Hunter can finish his personal journey. He had to be the one to fight and tell Belos to fuck off and finalize himself as an individual person.

Okay, so I first thought it was cheap that Flapjack revived Hunter. You'll have to forgive me, I tend to be weary of Cheap Deaths and tend to approach them with great caution. Then I remembered that Belos regularly absorbed palismens in order to keep going. It's probably how he's lived for centuries. Pailsmen can do that. They can GIVE life to humans/witches. Hunter's situation is the complete opposite of how Belos handled it where Flapjack willingly gave his own life instead of having it taken away from him. Man, I was not prepared for them to kill off Flapjack! And like Hunter has his eyes. So is Flapjack a part of him now? Are all magic-users bonded to one palismen in their lives or can they get more? Is that it for Hunter? No more familiar for him? Why does palismen have the ability to give their lifespan? Is it just in their nature to help their creators? There's a million questions I have on palismen biology, but I digress. Somebody get Hunter hot cocoa and a blanket, damn it!

Amity is a patient girlfriend. I think Luz has lied or kept like three major secrets from her (and her friends) by now.

Awwww yeah, Camila is coming to the Boiling Isles. This is the absolute BEST solution to anything because she's gonna wreck shit up!

I like that the show validates Vee's decision to stay out of the battle. She's still working through her trauma and deserves a safe spot to cope and live.

I did kind wished they left out the car keys joke at the end. It's cute, but a mild mood killer.

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jdscanvas · 2 years

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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic----It Doesn’t Deserve It’s Fanbase

I feel like based on the amount of traction that one post I made years ago about how I felt about the Changelings post-Season 6, I should finally clarify how I actually feel about the show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It's been almost three years since the show concluded, and in that time I came to a realization...

It doesn't deserve the community that was built around it, and I honestly feel like the fandom and even the IDW comics (of what little I know of them) took far better advantage of the world and characters.

Now I am heading into this argument on somewhat shaky legs, because I have never actually sat down and watched an entire episode of the show.

Why didn't I? Well to tell the truth it was fear. Whenever I thought of doing it, I would start suffering serious nervousness and second-hand embarrasment. I could never figure out why. After seeing how the series finale was handled, and then seeing where Hasbro was going with G5, I have my answer: I wouldn't be caught dead watching this Care Bears level cringe.

Most folks who love the show might say it was better than anyone expected a show attached to this toy line to be good since it was primarily targeted towards girls and yet it ended up having mass appeal. I wholeheartedly believe that Lauren Faust had a clear passionate vision for the series, but even in the beginning information came out that the final show did not always turn out how she wanted. Luna and Celestia should have been the only alicorns, Celestia was supposed to be a queen, etc. Faust claimed she wanted to create a show that challenged the perception that shows for girls tend to be low quality. One quote I remember being sourced from her was that in these shows characters could defeat villains by crying/smiling/something along these lines. The show's solution to this? Anti-climatic friendship kamehamehas. Like almost every villain was defeated this way, even in the Seasons that Faust was directly involved in. Sometimes the journey to get to the kamehamehas was different, but literally nothing else ever worked.

Even when the Elements of Harmony aren't directly involved, a friendship kamehameha ended up being the answer. Or, going directly against Faust's desire for her show, beating them via emotional speeches, LIKE STARLIGHT GLIMMER. And honestly, Starlight I was always on-and-off about. On one hand she felt like a replacement for Twilight for fans who absolutely despised her alicorn princess fate, and on the other she felt like a Filmore (the disney show) style character---a former foe/deliquent who is recruited by the good guys and that which leads to their redemption. Literally all the writers had to do was have Starlight initally punished/imprisoned for the nasty stuff she did in Season 5, and then have Twilight take pity on her and take her under her wing (literally). And I would've had no problems with that; the concept of a character like that is really cool to me. You could've also taken out two birds with one stone and use Starlight as an example for kids that anyone can change as long as they want to. To some extent though, Discord technically already fulfilled that role in Seasons 3 and 4 so I guess the writers' hands were tied here?

Twilight being an alicorn, in hindsight, was a huge mistep that I don't believe Faust would've ever been OK with if she was still there to do anything about it. Twilight was a nerd, a bookworm, an aspiring master wizard. Some skeptics would argue the only reason she became an alicorn princess was because it was a show for girls and girls wanna be pretty princesses. I argue it was mostly a case of main character syndrome, and how the "nowhere-to-go-but-up" mentality can ultimately screw up a character. Like...Goku is super-powerful, to an almost ridiculous degree, but Toriyama didn't make him the new King Kai, or the new freaking Omni-King? Luffy may eventually become the Pirate King, but he's not going to become King of the whole damn world! Naruto always wanted to become Hokage of his village, and he did, but that doesn't mean it would've made sense to make him like Grand Master of all Ninja Villages of the World??? Consequently, why in the hell did Twilight need to be turned into Chad Celestia (or Celestia 2.0)? Yeah sure she had leadership qualities but that doesn't qualify her to be a monarch of an entire country/kingdom. Even with the exsistence of the Council of Friendship, it was so obvious at the end that she was Celestia and Luna's replacement because hurr durr she main character. Was it because of other characters that became leaders of their "tribes" (Thorax, Ember, etc.)? Keep in mind, by the end of the series she had her own castle and school ON TOP OF CELESTIA'S CASTLE AND SCHOOL. Guys, this isn't an Elder Scrolls game where you can just keep piling on important titles onto your protagonist. From a narrative standpoint, I guess the writers just had no other places to take Twilight. They had her achieve basically all of her dreams at once (except the Master Wizard thing, because I don't think she was ever considered the next Starswirl, just a super powerful ball of magic), so what "shocking" developments could they have given her next? Ruling all of Equestria. Even taking into account that Faust apparently always intended Twilight to succeed Celestia in some fashion, I seriously doubt she intended to mutate her into Neo Celestia. You put her side by side by her friends, and she doesn't even look like one of them anymore, she sticks out like a sore thumb (doubly so in the future episode).

I do believe effort was placed in some of the humor and especially some of the non main characters, but almost all the characters post....Season 2 never got enough screentime to truly take advantage of the story potential. How many fans of Shining Armor like me were praying that he at least had an episode focusing on how he felt being the only non-alicorn royalty? Wouldn't anyone have loved an episode where Armor and Cadence got to meet the new changelings and really get to know Thorax and Pharynx and what not (or did Thorax's debut episode count as checking that box?)? Why did the Cutie Mark Crusaders (again the mere words "cutie mark" really make it near impossible to see anything in this world as genuinely dramatic) need to have nearly identical cuite marks? Even taking into account their "destines" to help other kids find their talents, you didn't have to make them homogenous from a design standpoint to do so. Meh, but they got more than others did. Cadence I loved more as a potential cool character, but they never developed her enough even when she had so much more screentime in later seasons. Her infant daughter who couldn't even talk got more development. Flurry being born an alicorn felt like a kick in the gonads to fans that wanted an alicorn Shining Armor. Like wow his daughter gets to be born one, but he doesn't even get the honor of proving himself worthy? Spike getting wings doesn't count because he's a dragon and that was an obvious leap in intuition. Speaking of Spike, he's one of the more developed non-main characters (although to some he's the Butters of this show, the unofficial extra main character) but even he got done a little dirty. I say a little because his crush on Rarity never went anywhere, it was just one-note comic relief, and they only ever talk about what it was like to grow up with Shining Armor and Twilight in the final season. That little moment where he wins the Sibling Supreme crown and they tell him he's the little brother they've always had? Awesome, yes, more of that please. Also his future self looks like a freaking Chad. Like why did they give him a buff body type that wasn't too far removed from how he fantasized about himself? I've heard some theories as to why but I don't really agree with them.

Celestia is a strange case to me because I was glad to see more of her personality show in the later seasons, but you could also argue that she was made to be more like Twilight (and maybe they did that to try and convince fans that it was totally a natural evolution for Twilight to become like Celestia because they're so alike yo!). I know Faust always intended her to be somewhat mysterious and now I can't help but feel like the writers went against that idea. Luna was always a favorite of mine, and they handled her very well when they did focus on her, I don't have too many complaints there. Honestly, the characters that weren't given much development could've gotten plenty, because they managed to do exactly that with Sunburst in Season 6. One two part episode, and he automatically became one of the more interesting side characters. Heck, I'd even argue Maude from Season 4 gets this honor even if parts of her are the generic "stoic misfit". Pharynx I think was handled pretty well in Season 7 as well, for someone who only ever mattered in one episode (again they could've done so much more with him).

I remember thinking that the movie that came out in 2017 could've been like The Lego Movie of little girl's cartoons if they played their cards right, but even just based on interviews the creators clearly were not concerned about doing anything interesting.

Equestria Girls should've never been a thing, and kind of went against the whole point of the franchise not being so stereotypically girly girly. I mean jeez the main series still had the balls to lampoon the whole "we totally aren't like those girly girl generic shows" on occasion (like in Rainbow Dash's nightmare) but like....you have a concept called "cutie marks", hearts decorate almost every piece of architecture, the main character was made a princess for no real reason, the highest authorities are princesses and not queens "because queens are evil bad guys", your theme song is like something out of a generic Disney TV special, and your heroes never get to actually directly fight and win against the villians.

Powerpuff Girls literally did the whole "girly show that's actually bad ass and funny" thing years before you (of which Mrs. Faust was a writer, and it's being revived with original creator on the helm so yay!)....

I can't help but think that the show being inherently connected to a franchise called My Little Pony, and therefore being the first part of the title, the first thing people think of when they think of this show, ruined a lot of it's chances of being taken more seriously. You hear that title and you cannot distance it from literally the most generic girly girl stuff you can ever think of. You remember that's the franchise this is connected to, and you think of all the attempts FiM made to be like one of the "good shows" with "actual stories worth telling" just not meshing well. Was the show Dead on Arrival? Clearly not if so many folks of all walks of life saw something in it worth salvaging.

All the other shows of FiM's generation, even the PG ones that kids of the same age group shouldn't techincally be watching unsupervised but many many kids did, Regular Show, Adventure Time, freaking Gumball, Steven Universe. These shows had far more intricate characters and lore, had more interesting styles, and told far more interesting stories that went beyond generic Aesops. Again, even taking into account the PG rating of most of these, GUMBALL, a show that while on occasion dabbles into the juvenile, was also still able to tell interesting stories with decent lessons behind them AND they also had more thought out humor. Even companies as conservative as Disney are willing to let Gravity Falls and Star vs the Forces of Evil get through. HELL, HASBRO THEMSELVES let at least 90% of the Transformers television shows, with their interesting stories and characters, be released.

I always believed that Friendship is Magic could've been a Transformers level franchise, but for mostly young girls. It could've had more developed characters, better action, and genuinely bad-ass moments. It could've been Powerpuff Girls with more story, or simply Samurai Jack for a new generation. Unfortuantely, I guess it wasn't meant to be.

It still hurts when I think of something that was born from one person's passion become what it became and how it could've truly landed among the stars. I still don't know, almost three years after the Finale, if i'm better off completely ignoring it, or simply indulging in the fan content that continues to come out to this day.

I do know, however, that G5 will not be a true successor to FiM like the fandom deserves. Literally in the very first story, the main character became an alicorn. Wait 8 more years, and they'll make her ruler of the entire world. That's how little faith I have in the people attached to this franchise. Hasbro even killed FiM in the IDW comics to completely focus on G5.

If you have a love for FiM despite it's failures, I'm glad and I would never try to take that from you even if I can't see it. I personally would love to create a show with a similar style, even though I've got a long way to go in the field I'm trying to get into now. The things that I appreciated about FiM, as few as they turned out to be, continue to inspire me like the many other stories I've come across over the years. I hope someone inspired by FiM can come along and succeed where it failed. Ultimately though, we have no choice but to wait and find out.

#mlp fim #rant #twilight #spike #flurry #shining armor #celestia #lauren faust #alicorn

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kirain · 4 years

Text

Hazbin Hotel and VivziePop Drama

I've been hearing/seeing a lot of drama concerning Hazbin Hotel and it's creator VivziePop, and while I don't know her personally or really care what people think, I do hate slander and the spread of misinformation. Truly nothing in this world upsets me more than when people believe rumours while making no effort to fact check, and that's exactly what's happening right now. That said, I wanted to try and clear up some of the rumours going around about Vivzie and the show, because I think some of them are absolutely outrageous and need to be addressed.

1. Vivzie hired an abuser onto the show.

Now, I’m not here to burn anyone at the stake, especially since I don’t know anything about Chris Niosi (the alleged abuser), who I believe openly admitted to the allegations? Regardless, this is a moot point. He’s not credited anywhere at the end of the episode. So either he was booted before production wrapped up or he had nothing to do with the show in the first place.

2. Vivzie supports bestiality.

Admittedly I thought this one might be true, since she draws so many anthropomorphic animals. In the very least, I figured she was probably a furry, but I haven't seen any evidence supporting this accusation either. Near as I can tell, this rumour started for two reasons. One, because of her famous Zoophobia comic, which revolves around a therapist named Cameron who gets assigned to work with human-like animals. Ironically, poor Cameron suffers from crippling zoophobia, which makes for some pretty decent comedy. I didn't read the whole comic because, quite frankly, it’s not my cup of tea and I just don’t have the time. But from what I saw there are no examples of bestiality anywhere in its contents.

Two, this message, which blew up all over social media:

To me, this just proves that people are more interested in virtue signalling than checking to see if their claims are actually true. Everything about this message is 100% false, which I’ll touch on in my next point.

3. Vivzie is a pedophile and she’s drawn child porn.

This is hands down the worst allegation and holy shit, I really wish people would stop using it to defame someone when they don't have any proof. This is a life-ruining accusation and you're disgusting if you believe it based solely on hearsay. This rumour began to spread when Vivzie allegedly shipped the two underage characters in the above photo and drew them NSFW-style. At the time, one character was 19 while the other was 14, and the relationship was a very illegal student-teacher relationship.

This is WRONG! The characters were not 14 and 19, they were actually 18 and 19, the legal age of consent! Additionally, the relationship wasn't student-teacher. One character is a student and the other is Alumni (a student teacher). This one pisses me off the most because it’s obvious the person who sent that message didn’t even bother to conduct any research. They said, “He’s a teacher, she’s a child.” Both characters are MALE!

Since then, Vivzie has apologised for any NSFW art she drew in the past and stated that it's not a reflection of her art today, and I'm inclined to believe her. Almost every artist has drawn NSFW content at some point in their career, and hers wasn't even distasteful. Other than this one example, there is no evidence anywhere that suggests she’s drawn “child porn”. In fact, she’s never even drawn explicit NSFW.

Please stop spreading this rumour. It’s dangerous and completely incorrect.

4. Vivzie said the "N" word!

No, she didn’t. It was a fabricated tweet. That is all.

5. Vivzie is copyright striking every video that criticises her!

No she isn't. YouTube’s DMCA is automatically striking people who are using full clips without permission. Vivzie has gone public several times, telling people exactly how to avoid getting a copy strike from the algorithm, which is something she absolutely does not have to do. At this point, she doesn't owe you anything. In my opinion, she should just sit back and watch these channels burn.

6. Vivzie copies and traces other artists’ work.

This is another one I’ve seen going around, but I looked into it as thoroughly as I could and failed to find any concrete evidence to support the allegations. As of right now, there are only two examples of Vivzie “copying” or “tracing” other artists’ work, and both of them can be explained. The first is a gif she made with a character from her Zoophobia comic, which looked a lot like the girl from ME!ME!ME!:

Damn, that’s pretty incriminating. She obviously stole-- oh, wait. This gif was part of a ME!ME!ME! MEP (multi editor’s project) and Vivzie didn’t take full credit, despite the fact that it’s not even a direct trace. It’s supposed to look like the original, which she fully cited. The second example comes from a short dance sequence from her Timber video, which seems to have been inspired by several Disney movies. As Vivzie herself stated, that was an homage to the original animations. Lots of artists and shows do this, including the beloved Stephen Universe series.

Regardless, this doesn’t count as stealing character designs or plagiarising someone’s work. It’s meant to be respectful, an admiration of other projects. Other than these two instances, however, there is no evidence of her tracing or stealing other people’s art. From what I’ve discovered, all other designs she’s been accused of “stealing” are characters she bought and paid for. They’re quite literally HER characters.

7. Vivzie supports problematic creators.

I’m getting really tired of guilt by association. Vivzie follows and enjoys some controversial figures, but who cares? We can argue all day about whether or not the accusations against them are true, but it ultimately has nothing to do with the show or Vivzie as a person. I do the exact same thing, to be honest-- follow and listen to people on all sides so I can learn, understand, and form my own opinions. The fact that some people think this is bad, to me, is absolutely mesmerising. Vivzie doesn’t control what the people she follows post, and if they do something overly questionable she publicly criticises and denounces it.

From Vivzie:

Now that that’s been dealt with, I’d like to address some complaints/claims about the actual show.

8. Vaggie is an angry Latina stereotype and a lesbian stereotype. Vivzie is appropriating Hispanic culture and misrepresenting the gay for profit.

First off, I see a lot of people passing around yet more misinformation regarding Vivzie's race. So many people seem to think she's white? Well, I'm here to tell you they're wrong. Very incorrect. Vivzie is in fact Latina, and Vaggie is meant to mirror some of her own personality traits.

Second, who is Vaggie mad at? Context matters, and if we take a look at the episode, we see that Vaggie is literally only mad at two specific people: Angel Dust and Alastor. Why? Well, for starters, it's her girlfriend's dream to run a rehab hotel for sinners, and Angel Dust nearly demolishes that dream single-handedly. Vaggie has every right to be over-the-top vitriolic. Then there's Alastor, a known sadist, narcissist, and murderer who loves trapping people in his nefarious schemes. He invites himself in, effectively takes over the hotel, and pushes both her and Charlie aside. At one point he even sexually assaults her by slapping her butt during his musical number. So yeah, I think her seething ire is totally justified. Keep in mind, however, that when she's around Charlie she's calm, collected, and happy. I wouldn't call that a stereotype.

Thirdly, the lesbian stereotypes. I keep hearing this argument but I really don't see it. Both Vaggie and Charlie have so much personality and trust for each other. Maybe I'm wrong, but the stereotype I know always totes a more butch, tomboyish woman with a ditsy, innocent, naive woman. Charlie is optimistic, but she isn't stupid. She refuses to shake Alastor’s hand because she knows he’s likely trying to screw her over. She’s also not entirely innocent herself and uses words like “fuck” and “shit”. I also wouldn’t call Vaggie butch or tomboyish. She has a cute, girly presentation, complete with a pink ribbon in her hair, lace stockings, and a dress. She's protective of her girlfriend, as I think we all are with our partners, and there's nothing wrong with that. They're flawed characters, as every character is meant to be. This isn't a problem.

9. The show is racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, blah, blah, blah.

I’m amazed this is even an argument. The show is supposed to be a dark comedy that takes place in HELL. You know, the place the worst of the worst end up after they die? What were you expecting? Everyone gets a shot or two fired at them, but that doesn't make them bad characters nor does it make the show itself horrible. Take, for example, Katie Killjoy, the news reporter so many people are up in arms about. She says she doesn’t “touch the gays” because she has “standards”. Well, here’s a newsflash of my own: we’re not supposed to like her! She’s an antagonist. Not to mention ten seconds later Charlie insults her and isn’t the least bit slighted by her pretentious attitude. The characters are strong and don’t take shit from anyone, because to some degree they’re all terrible people who can throw down when it’s called for.

Obviously if you don’t like the show or think it’s offensive, I’m probably not going to change your mind. That’s perfectly fine. You’re entitled to your opinions and you don’t have to watch the show. Just stop lying and stop trying to take it away from everybody else. Stop attacking Vivzie and spreading misinformation without checking the facts. I realise a lot of people probably aren’t trying to be vindictive and only want to do something good, but just remember this: the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

#hazbin hotel #vivziepop #vivzie #alastor #angel dust #vaggie #charlie #timber #stephen universe #drama #radio demon

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miraculouscontent · 3 years

Text

Asks I got about the “Marinette makes mistakes” tweet:

i-would-rather-be-a-fairy said:

I’m starting to think that the writers don’t particularly like Marinette.

Did Marinette spill coffee on the laps of the writers and they’ve been salty ever since? Because that’s all I can imagine.

Anonymous said:

Is there ANY episode where Marinette doesn't make a mistake and has to learn a lesson? There has to be right?

I feel like there must be? Like, “Silencer” at minimum, but I guess maybe they thought that her trying to combat Roth was her mistake and it got Luka akumatized? It wasn’t portrayed as a mistake though exactly?? (If anything, it just looked like her being awesome, and Luka being akumatized ultimately led to Roth being outed on some level, so it all worked out.)

Even episodes like “Stormy Weather” that really don’t need to be about her mistakes shoehorn in a line about “I should never have left Manon” (if she had, she would’ve been in the ice dome instead of Alya, but okay I guess; dialog choices in this show are so weird).

It really puts episodes into perspective knowing that they have to force Marinette screwing up/learning/apologizing in every episode.

Anonymous said:

Just curious about that Shanghai tweet: were you the one who sent it? I know there are other people who notice Marinette's unfair treatment, but I just wanted to know if you've ever reached out to Thomas Astruc personally.

Nah, that wasn’t me, I don’t use Twitter.

Plus, if that had been me calling Astruc out, I wouldn’t have blurred the name. I’d want full credit.

Anonymous said:

I am so irritated by Thomas Astruc's tweet. Do they even realize they're sacrificing Marinette's character and positive Chinese representation to make her chase after a boy and THEN get blamed for it? Yes, you read that right, a bunch of white men in a room decided that a Chinese heroine doesn't deserve to celebrate or learn more about her culture because she's in love with a white boy(who knows more about her own culture than her) and they need to use her as a punching bag. Ugh. At this point?

I am just completely done with the show. Yes, you heard me. DONE! Because the writers have admitted that their entire show is based around their main protagonist suffering, when it SHOULD be about "girl power". I'm not saying Marinette is NEVER allowed to make mistakes, be clumsy, or learn a lesson, but when the writers will literally REFUSE to let her develop and force her to always be in the wrong against ALL LOGIC, that's where I draw the line. As it stands, I can't recommend this show to any one.

I'm pretty much only watching because I don't like to leave shows unfinished(although there are shows I've simply stopped watching, this is the only one I've seriously been following to this extent since it started), and for the few Lukanette moments/other rare moments of Marinette being happy. Because the writers have NO RESPECT for their main character, have ADMITTED as much, and don't see a problem with it, or why everyone is upset. Oh, and they'll block you if you disagree with them.

I really wish I could’ve been in the writing room the day they said, “Hey, let’s make it so our biracial representation is always the one that screws up and has to learn a lesson/apologize for it!

Anonymous said:

I know comparison is not the best way to say why something is good or bad, but I think "Miraculous Ladybug" is as controversial as it is because "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" (a show I watched almost religiously for the first 4 Seasons) did the Lesson Of The Week so much better and came first.

I watched that show for a little over four seasons and I can confirm that the lessons were way more spaced out and balanced (though personally I feel like Dashie got the shaft on most of hers).

Keeping its rules like Miraculous would be like if Twilight was the only one allowed to screw up.

Anonymous said:

Disney's baby tv show "Sofia the First" genuinely deals with the "mc makes mistakes" so well. Initially, the main character is more prone to making mistakes (even if she’s generally well-meaning and kind), but she actually consistently applies her lessons and grows with them. At some point clearly the writers saw that this character’s development is complete; there is nothing more they can do with her because, due to applying her lessons, she is emotionally mature enough to handle anything they throw her way. Then they made a genuinely smart choice to commit latter seasons to having the mc become a literal guardian of the realm who travels to help other people solve their issues by applying the lessons she has already learned.

The show has a big cast of characters and distributes the lessons equally amongst all of them, as well as having many episodes, even in earlier seasons, where the main character actually /is/ in the right, and the lesson acknowledges that. TBH the show’s ability to consistently develop characters in an episodic format, as well as not disrespecting any of them and being written w/ heart, is impressive. Freaking Thomas Astruc wishes.

THAT WAS BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED; MARINETTE LEARNING LESSONS AND THEN BEING A “GUARDIAN” TO HER FRIENDS AND HELPING THEM LEARN TOO.

ugh, and instead it’s just--nope, she always screws up because it’s the rule

Anonymous said:

WAIT WHAT WAS MARINETTE'S MISTAKE IN NEW YORK?? WANTING ADRIEN TO GO??

APPARENTLY???

Or arguing with him mid-battle but can you honestly blame her after he betrayed her trust like that??

Anonymous said:

“It’s the rules of the show she makes a mistake and learns” SIR it’s season FOUR

I think we were meant to read it as, “a season 4 making Marinette screw up again even if she didn’t actually screw up.”

elflynns-horde-of-stuff said:

So the rule of 'Marinette must always make a mistake and learn something' inspired a little rant. I hope you're okay with this! Because it's usually a good thing for tv shows to have a rulebook for their stories, but they have to be GOOD rules. And this (awful) rule is easily fixed! Which makes it even more frustrating to me!

First. Replace 'Marinette' with 'A character' that way multiple characters get focus and development throughout the series. (At least the would if status quo wasn't God.)

Second. Why does all if Marinette's mistakes have to be huge? Why can't she use the wrong fabric for a design, research, and correct it? Or pronounce a Chinese word wrong and learn more about the language? Or use the wrong ingredient for Guardian related magic? If she has to be learning something every episode, why not allow her to develop skills and hobbies? Why make her miserable, anxious and guilty all the time? What purpose does it serve?

It is moments like this, where I am reminded how much potential this show has in better hands. Marinette deserves so much better it breaks my heart!

It breaks my heart too and I agree!

I dunno, the rule is so restrictive. It’s not that all restrictions are bad but this one specifically is crippling.

#category: salt #character: Marinette Dupain Cheng #other: ask and answer

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sery-chan-13 · 3 years

Note

Hi :) can I request where Niragi is a genie?

Ooh, interesting idea!

[Make A Wish]

Niragi Suguru × Reader

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, past scars

"Yeah, I'm here. I know mom. Yep. I know. Yeah. I love you too. Bye," you said, ending the call. You sighed, opening the door to the old house.

Your grandmother had recently passed, and you were in charge of taking care of all the belongings. You had a copy of her will, and of course, while going through her things would make you sad, it was better than seeing her suffer for another day.

You walked in, taking off your shoes, and laying them besides the door. It was quiet, and the blinds were drawn shut. You smiled sadly, as you couldn't smell something cooking in the kitchen as you usually did. The warm light that usually filled the house was dull, and not full of as much joy. You sighed, and kept walking through.

The will had stated that the house itself would go to you, along with whatever belongings you wanted to keep. Your mother would get everything else. You were so happy to get the house you were basically raised in, and honestly there was only a few items you really really wanted.

It was the end of the day, and you had packed all the items your mother wanted. All that was left was some of your grandmother's old kimonos you loved, most of her jewelry, a set of teacups, and the old lamp she always told you not to touch. In the will, however, she said that since she was gone, you could. It had always been fascinating to you. A family heirloom, apparently. You were excited to finally hold it after so many years.

Walking up the long staircase up to the second floor, your hands shook. Down the hallway, into the dark part of the house where the rope to pull the attic stairs were. You grabbed ahold of it, pulling it down. Slowly, the ladder pulled down from the door on the ceiling with a creak. Dust floated down with it, and you sneezed. "Ugh... fuck dust," you grumbled, beginning to climb up the stairs. You reached the top, pulling yourself in. Your mother had cleaned out all the boxes the week prior, leaving you the things you wanted. Even then, she had only taken the boxes, not cleaned up. You understood why, however, and just ignored it. There was three boxes left, the small, ornate lamp sitting atop the middle box. You smiled, giddily running to it. You knew nothing special would happen, it was just exciting to finally being able to touch it. Years of pent up curiosity had lead up to this moment. You reached out and picked it up. The cold metal made you shiver. You ran your finger along the side, tracing the jagged pattern that adorned the lamp. You smiled, hugging it close to your body. "You're kind of dusty, aren't you? Let's go clean you up," you said, talking to the lamp. Sure, it might have seemed crazy, but it made you feel a bit better.

You softly moved the cleaning rag over the metal, smiling at it. Sure, it might have been the least valuable thing in the house, but the emotional value was worth more to you. You laughed at the thought you had of rubbing the lamp, seeing if anything happened. It's what you always thought when you were younger. Why not? You weren't expecting it, but it would be fun. You placed the rag down, and held the lamp, rubbing it softly. You closed your eyes, with a smile.

"Remember (Y/N), when my time comes, which is unfortunately soon, you'll get that lamp. And then all your wildest dreams will come true. And by then, I won't be here, so you have to promise to say hello... and goodbye...to a very dear friend. Promise me?" Your grandmother had said, holding her cold hands in yours. You nodded, tears filling your eyes. "Yes, I promise. I promise. And your time isn't soon grandma. I still haven't taken you to Paris, just like we said. You can't leave yet," you whimpered, tears falling. She smiled, pressing a hand to your face. "It's ok... it's ok..."

You opened your eyes, shaking your head, sniffling and drying the tears. "Uh... so... should I come back later or..?" You heard someone ask. Your eyes widened and you slowly looked up. There was a man floating above you. You gasped, backing into the wall behind you. "I'm just tired... and sad, and anxious, this is a hallucination, no way this is real. No. Nope. Goodnight," you said out loud to yourself. You slapped the side of your face harshly to see if you would snap out of it. "Ouch, that looks like it hurt," he stated sarcastically, standing on the floor. "And I can assure you, I am most definitely real sweetheart." You felt lightheaded, and took short shaky breaths. "I... I th-think I'm gonna pass out," you said, holding a hand to your head. "Yeah, you go ahead and do that," he said. You vision swirled, black and white filling your eyesight, until you lost consciousness.

When you woke up, you were on the couch downstairs. You held your head, sitting up with a groan. "So it was a dream," you muttered. Everything was fine, until you looked over at a chair in the corner. Glowing yellow eyes looked back at you, and a shadow darker than the rest of the darkness slithered slowly over to you. Your breathing quickened, and you screamed. The lights turned on, and the shadow figure was revealed to be exactly that, a shadow figure. "Do I have to deal with you annoying ass evil bitches every time some mortal rele- uses the lamp?" You heard someone groan. You turned to see the man from last time. The shadow immediately dissipated, leaving behind purple embers, and you jumped up from the couch. "S-so... what? You- you? Shadow? What the fuck?" You questioned, digging your hands into your scalp. "Yeah, I'm real. So was that thing. No, you're not just extremely stressed. Now, I do have to ask... where is (G/N)? Haven't seen her in a while..." he asked, answering your other questions before. You looked down frowning. He knew what that face meant. "Oh... sorry," he apologized.

''So... what are you exactly?" You asked. You two were currently in your kitchen, talking about random things. "Well, depends where your from, but most know my kind as genies," he said with a smirk. You hated the fact that it made you feel butterflies. He was rather attractive now that you actually got to look at him. "Genies?" You questioned. "Genies. All powerful beings that can grant wishes to mortals yada yada yada. Yeah, that," he said. You could tell he was rather proud of this. It made you laugh a bit. "Oh so like... three wishes?" You said. He nodded, "Exactly that, actually. Three wishes, the sky's the limit besides these rules: I can't bring anybody back from the dead, and I personally don't make people fall in love. It becomes obsessive, and I would rather not deal with that again."

"Oh... and then what happens after the three wishes are completed?" You asked. "I go back to my lamp. Basically a prison. But yeah. You see these?" He said, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. Under where two black bracelet cuffs with intricate patterns and designs carved in. Your eyes lit up, and you traced over the patterns. "Yeah, these keep me connected. Forever. So, let me guess your wishes. Money, power, fame?" He said, rubbing his hands together. You raised an eyebrow at his words, tilting your head to the side. "That's boring and selfish. Also not what I want. So... oh! Actually... um... I just wish my mom did not have to worry about all the money, legal stuff, or anything having to do with my grandmother's funeral. Could you do that?" You asked, looking up at him.

This was new. No one had ever asked him for anything that didn't benefit themselves. Most people asked for money, or being famous. Some had other selfish desires, so this was new to him. Of course he could do it, but what we're your motives behind it? And with that being said, didn't you know he could trick you and make your wish come true in a different way? You probably did, you seemed intelligent, so he assumed you knew.

"Yeah, I can do that."

For the past few days, you hadn't asked for anything else. Well, more like you hadn't wished for anything else. You had asked his name, which you learned to be Niragi. You had smiled when he told you, and he couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit flustered when you did. Although, he reminded himself not to do anything rash such as develop feelings, because after your three wishes were done, he went back to living in the lamp until the next person came along.

"Niragi, um.. why is there always those shadow things trying to hurt me?" You questioned as he floated besides you. "Because you're cursed," he said, patting the top of your head. You tilted your head to side, confused by his words. "What do you mean cursed?" You asked. "Cursed, ملعون, 詛咒, nasumpa, καταραμένος, maledictus eris,maldita. You want me to go on?" He stated. You stared in awe, grabbing his arm. "You know more than one language?!" You shouted. He smirked down at you, nodding his head. "I've been around for millenia sweetheart. Many people from many different places," he said. He thought it was the stupidest thing to get excited over. You were acting like he just told you you were going to Disney or something. "Wait, back on track... why am I cursed?" You asked. "It's easier to show you. Hold on," he said, picking you up of the floor. You yelped in surprise, holding onto him tightly. You screwed your eyes shut, not wanting to look.

"If you never open your eyes, you'll be scared your whole life. Come on," Niragi said. You shook your head nuzzling your face further into his neck. You were most definitely not in your grandmother's house anymore. You didn't even know if you were in Japan at this point. "Look or I'll drop you. You need to have fun (Y/N)," he said. You thought he was kidding. "Ok, have fun," were the only words he said, before letting you go. You screamed, feeling the wind rush past you, your hair flying upwards.

"Niragi!!" You screamed, calling out for him. He appeared besides you, laughing. "Isn't this fun?'' He asked, yelling over the sound of the wind rushing past. "N-no! Please don't let me fall!" You yelled, tears filling your eyes. You weren't usually quick to cry, but it had been a stressful two weeks, and your concept of mortality had been flipped with your grandmother dying. You knew how fragile humans were now. And it terrified you that you could die at any moment. 'Shit, she's crying. Fuck.' He thought, before grabbing you into his arms once more. "Sorry," he apologized. You clung onto him, wrapping your legs around his waist. Your face went back to being nuzzled into his neck. " 'S ok... just don't let me fall," you whimpered. He had forgotten that humans could be oh so fragile. And you crying made him feel bad. He had never felt bad for a human before. It was new.... You as an experience had been so new. Everything you did was a breath of fresh air for him. It was nice...

"And we're here,'' he said, setting you down on the floor. Your legs were wobbly, and you held onto him for support. "It's ok, here, get on the floor, we're right in front of why you're cursed," he said, helping you sit on your knees. You finally looked around, seeing it was a graveyard. There was a gravestone, old and crumbling, right in front of you. You jumped back, and Niragi's arms wrapped around you. "Where are we?" You asked, looking at the gravestone. You couldn't even read the words on it from how old it was. "A cemetery somewhere that I won't tell you the name of," he said. You pouted, and he snickered, patting the top of your head. You crawled over to him.

"Ok, but why?"

"To explain why you're cursed."

"But why did we have to come here?"

"Because you need to leave that damn house."

"So it's trauma time?"

"It's trauma time."

"Can I sit here?"

"Go ahead, we'll be here a while."

The exchange would have been funny to any passer-by, but as you two were alone, no one would be able to recount this. You sat besides him, picking at the dead grass. It seemed everything was dead in the cemetery. "Alright. Comfy?" He questioned. You nodded, and urged him to go one with the explanation.

"So, a long long long long ass time ago, this man made the lamp that imprisoned me. He had found me out and about, and made a bet. A bet that if he could make something for me to stay in, I would be trapped in it until he needed me. So, me being me, I said yes. I told him he got three tries. The first two weren't successful, you know as most things aren't. The third however... the third trapped me. I was chained into the lamp, only being called on when they needed something. But, I was smart. The three tries? Yeah, that's where you get your three wishes then I leave. Others heard about what he did, capturing a genie, and making it bend to his will, and asked him to make them lamps to catch genies. Everyone treated us like pets. It was horrible. Constantly under the command of someone else who doesn't give a shit about anything that happens to you. With this, other genies were understandably upset. So, they put a curse on him, and his bloodline. They would never be free from the torture of demons and spirits who were bitter about what happened, or if they wanted to take the genie for themselves. He's the reason you're cursed. He's your many greats back grandfather."

You gasped softly, "So... how... how did they treat you?" Your hands softly grabbed onto his arms, raising the sleeves. He pulled on his arm, trying to pull it back. You looked up at him, giving him a look that calmed him. It made him feel comfortable and safe. He'd never felt that with anyone. He sighed, letting you raise his sleeves. Burns and scars adorned his skin, and you lightly traced over them. Your hands were cold in contrast to the heat his body was giving. They didn't hurt anymore, but he still jerked back when you touched them. You were so gentle, and loving. He didn't know anyone could be so soft, so sweet. He didn't know humans could show kindness towards him. But here you were, breaking everything he had thought before.

He was broken from his thoughts when he felt your lips touch to his arm. "What... what are you doing?" He asked. "My grandmother used to do this when I got hurt.... I know I can't make up for the mistakes my ancestors made, or heal the scars they caused, but... maybe I can make you feel better?" You said softly, one of your hands reaching out, and softly tucking his hair back behind his ear. "Shouldn't I be doing this to you?" He questioned with a laugh. "I want to take care of you. Men can be vulnerable, and be taken care of. They have feelings. Even if you are an immortal being. You still have feelings," you responded. "Let's take you back to your home," he said, pulling his sleeve back down. "Our home. You're there with me. It's ours."

After you two had returned, you went to go take a shower. You told him to change or do what he wanted really, so he did. He unbuttoned his shirt, scowling at the scars previous people had left behind. How he hated it. He hated that any mark left behind was a cautionary tale. What had they taught him? Not to speak? He shrugged his shirt off, his frown deepening as he saw more and more of what he hated. He stared into the mirror, losing himself in his thoughts.

"Niragi- woah, sorrysorrysorry!" You apologized, covering your eyes with your hand. He shook his head, snapping himself out of it. "It's fine. I'm still dressed, just no shirt. Lost myself for a second," he said. You took your hand off your eyes, frowning at how he looked at himself in the mirror. You could see hatred, and anger when his eyes met the mirror. "Why is there are mirror at the foot of your bed anyways?" He scoffed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. You joined him, leaning your head on his shoulder. "Because," you answered. He groaned laying back. You waited for his reaction.

"You have a mirror on your ceiling too?! What the fuck is this shit?!"

You laughed, laying back with him. You turned on your side to face him. "Thought it was cool. And some of my past hook up and exes liked them for... reasons," you said. "Because they liked looking at you two fucking in a mirror?" He said. You blushed, looking away. "Oh my gods... just admit you have a mirror kink and move on," he groaned. Your blush got heavier, and you pushed on his arm. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw one of the shadows again. This time, it didn't seem to want to back down from the room. "N-niragi... shadow," you whispered pointing at it. He sat up quickly, putting an arm in front of you defensively. "Can you not?" He said. The shadow only slithered closer, and you hid behind Niragi. This spirit was most definitely bolder than the rest, getting closer every second. "Niragi... I can wish it away, can't I?" You whispered. You were scared, and he could tell. "You can, but don't waste a wish on something I can han-" "I wish my family would stop being cursed for the actions of our ancestors," you interrupted, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Why we're you so selfless? The world seemed to be treating you horribly recently, and all you did was use your wishes for others. Would this one benefit you as well? Of course. But any other person would have wished for only them to stop being cursed. "Your wish is my command sweetheart."

You lay besides him, frowning. "What's wrong?" He asked. You looked up at him, confused. "You're sad. What's up?" He questioned, looking down at you. "I won't get to see you after the third wish... I don't want you to leave," you explained. "Sweetheart, trust me, you won't even notice I'm gone. You'll go on with your life and forget about me," he said, running a hand hesitantly through your hair. Those words pained him to say. He didn't want you to forget about him. He didn't want to leave, something else that was new. He always couldn't wait to leave, but this time, he was dreading it. "No... I can't go back to normal after you..." you whispered, cuddling into him. "You have to," he stated. You shook your head. "Can't I wish you to stay? I can do that right? It's not against the rules? Would that be selfish to make you stay with me?" You rambled, hugging him tightly. You didn't want to let go, as if he'd disappear any minute. "Why do you want me to stay? I'm not important to you (Y/N)," he whispered. "Because you are important to me. I love... I love you," you admitted. He looked down at you, watching as you hid your face. "So... can I wish you to stay with me?" You asked. He thought about it. Really, you were the only person who cared about him, and the only person he cared about. You were so different from everyone he'd met, and it was an attractive trait. He couldn't lie, he loved you too, and he was almost tired of hiding his feelings. It was the quickest anyone has fallen in love, probably. It had been 2 weeks. "... Yeah. Yeah, you can do that," he said. "I wish you didn't have to disappear into the lamp after the third wish. That you be free from being a genie, and stay with me...'' you whispered, holding onto him. You just held him, fearing what would happen if the wish didn't work.

A minute later, he was still there. And you cheered happily. "You're here! It worked!" You shouted. He laughed, surprised at this as well. "Thank you... thank you (Y/N)," he said, pressing his forehead against your own. Once again, you had made a wish that didn't benefit you. Or so he thought. Your last and final wish had been a tad bit selfish, making him stay with you. But it's what he wanted. It's what you wanted. For him to stay with you. Wishes can't be taken back, and neither could he. Because your last wish sealed both of you together forever. Maybe he couldn't make people fall in love, but you most certainly could.

Oh wow, that was kind of long-

Sorry that took so long to finish, and I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes!

#alice in borderland #niragi #×reader #fluff #these requests are so interesting and amazing and i love themmmm #you have no idea how creative yall are #they make me so happy lol #like... i love mythology and these requests make my brain buzz

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jcmorrigan · 3 years

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001 - Kingdom Hearts

Favorite character: On the villain side: VEXEN IS BEST ORGANIZATION XIII MEMBER. Shoulda stayed evil, though. I like it when he complains and screams about everything and hates everyone. He's one of my favorite villains, just, like...in general. So fun to write. Also attached to Demyx, but I actually liked him more in III than II because it reminded me of my rawr lolspeek weeb days when I f/o'd him without knowing what f/o'ing was and then transitioned this to shipping VexDem like heck. On the hero side: MY GIRL KAIRI! But honorable mentions go to Sora, Riku, Aqua, Ven, Terra, Xion, Roxas, Lea, Ienzo, any Disney character I loved beforehand (this is way too fuckin many to list), Merlin (OKAY I WILL SINGLE HIM OUT), Yen Sid (I'LL SINGLE HIM OUT TOO), you know what let's also single out the Mickey+Donald+Goofy power trio...just...any KH hero who isn't part of the Yozora stuff or the KHUX stuff. ...Except I also LOVE Strelitzia, and she is the only KHUX-exclusive kiddo I care about but I care about her MANY. (Oh, and there's a least fave I have who's a "hero" but that's a debatable label). I would go on about why I love all of them but...that's too many characters to elaborate on

Least Favorite character: See, I think the real answer is Yozora, but the thing is I just tend to forget about him or not care (unless I'm doing a weird AU where he's Noctis' bratty Nobody, don't ask). He kinda represents the Shark Jump and I don't like watching that scene where he literally petrifies Sora for not being strong enough. But again, I can just kinda forget about him if he's not fed to me through a social-media unit. The one I LOVE TO HATE is Master Eraqus. The man actually triggered me back in the day. He is purity culture. He is the overbearing parent who will not accept you unless you are perfect. He is by and large the reason VAT didn't communicate with each other properly. He was the one who taught Aqua to think in absolutes. He lied to Ventus for years and then insisted to kill him was the only option, and then, when Terra tried to defend his brother figure/friend without knowing WHY Eraqus was doing such a thing, Eraqus didn't offer an explanation and instead switched targets to Terra citing that the problem was Terra's lack of OBEDIENCE. Eraqus is just very "my way or the highway" and uses his moral high horse to justify doing things that utterly lack compassion in any regard, which is something that GETS to me on a deep level, and let me tell you, I hated him for so long until I realized he was actually a super fuckin fun guy to imagine as a Bigger Bad in AUs that either have the KH protags teaming up or have villain protags needing a "greater good lawful evil" figure. And I just have found too many good memes about him cheating at chess and killing children. I have to laugh. Making fun of him is fun. He's a ridiculous character. That said, this recent trend of "erase everything bad he ever did and paint him as the ultimate hero of the saga" makes me raise eyebrows for SEVERAL reasons

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): VexDem, SoRiku, Kairi x Jaune Arc (RWBY), Aqua x Rosalina (Super Mario Galaxy) x Bayonetta, IsaLea, Ventus x Papyrus (Undertale), that was six but they all needed to be mentioned

Character I find most attractive: Ienzo. HOO BABY he is adorable. I saw someone make a Valentine's Day gifset of KH and FF characters shortly after III dropped and seeing his smiling face paired with a romance quote made my heart FLUTTER

Character I would marry: Probably Ienzo, see above. He's also a very kind guy. Favorite redemption in the modern era.

Character I would be best friends with: I hope the Destiny Trio would adopt me into their friend circle the way they've tended to do with every other inter-world denizen they've come across. I would love to have them as my positivity squad. Or, y'know, two positivities and one "it's okay to screw up" guy. Just. I would love to hang out with them. I often worry that I'm unlikable to my faves, but even though I would usually prefer to hang with the villains, I can pretty much guarantee these three would be open-minded about me. (Do I kiiiiinda wanna be friends with Vexen though? Of course I do. He'd hate me but maaaayyyyybe he would see me as one of his pet idiots who makes him look smarter, and we could bond over our fragile egos?)

a random thought: You ever think about that one NPC lady in Traverse Town who refused to tell you where she was from because it was none of her business? You ever wonder where she WAS from? What her world was like? How she ended up being the survivor of the Ansem Apocalypse when it hit her? All I know is that when I read her lines out loud (I used to read KH speech balloons out loud all the time), I gave her a Southern accent for no discernible reason and I stand by it. That woman has a twang.

An unpopular opinion: I don't want KHUX to be canon because I feel it's smaller-scale and takes a lot of mystery out of the worldbuilding. I always assume that the KHverse just includes ALL worlds in fiction, and that includes their thousand-year histories, meaning the Age of Fairy Tales should've happened long long long LONG LONG LONG ago and not five generations. And whatever screwed up the world should've been more than just five people having a fight, and whatever saved it should've been more than just five people getting along, and Daybreak Town really suffers from having to stick to mobile-friendly graphics and therefore is the least aesthetically attractive KH town ever, and I don't like that Lauriam and Elrena used to be such selfless people. I do still love Strelitzia because she's shy and relatable and quirky (sitting on the roof) and she questions authority and if you go with shipping subtext she's probably bi (or pan?), but I don't like the "Lauriam's dead sister for his arc's drama" bit. I liked when Marluxia was angry because he wanted to run Organization XIII but it was in the hands of an idiot who wasn't him. And more than anything I just like imagining that the Age of Fairy Tales was something bigger, further in the past, and more mysterious than something designed for a mobile game. Scala ad Caelum, however, I like a lot better because there IS a lot of mystery there and also it's a very pretty town with an amazing design.

my canon OTP: I really only count the Disney couples as the "canon" ones, so this is a question of picking my favorite Disney couple that shows up onscreen. I hope I'm not forgetting an important one, but I think the title has to go to Aladdin/Jasmine, which is always perfect in everything. (This would be an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY if KH had ever adapted Treasure Planet, and if it ever gets the mind to adapt Treasure Planet then even if I don't care about that game I will immediately declare that Amelia/Doppler takes the KH canon OTP crown. *taps watch* Get on it Squenix)

Non-canon OTP: SoRiku, which I counted as "basically canon" after DDD until III decided it wasn't sure. But I'm just a sucker for how DDD is the two of them all "HE'S GOT MY BACK AND I'VE GOT HIS AND I'D DO ANYTHING FOR HIM SO LONG AS HE'S HAPPY." It's just the best kind of Friends-to-Lovers, except when you take all canon into account it's Friends-to-Rivals-to-Enemies-to-Friends-to-Lovers and that's a very juicy dynamic. BUT ALSO: VexDem, which is a nostalgia ship SO STRONG I had to accept that it eclipsed my former Vexen ships by a mile and I wanted to go back to my roots. That one, I have a much longer essay about that I'll just have you refer to so I don't repeat myself for pages. To make a long story short, their scene in III was JUST DELICIOUS.

most badass character: OOF THEY'RE ALL BADASS but in the end it's between Sora and Aqua, because Sora gets the widest RANGE of abilities across the series that he masters while Aqua gets the most POWERFUL abilities due to her Mastery (Command Styles seem like they'd be the most OP things ever in-universe and I'm here for it because flashy battle moves make brain go brr).

pairing I am not a fan of: SOKAI, Xehaqus, RikuNami, Vanitas/anyone not evil

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): OH BOY. KAIRI THE MOST. YOU ALL KNOW WHY: lack of screen time, Fridging for drama, forced romance to invite death flags (they really wanted to milk that death to get people talking didn't they?), giving Alyson Stoner ZERO direction to actually follow up on Hayden Panettiere's performance. But then I remember that they made Vexen redeem and lose his entire personality and I just...uuugghhhh. I can't believe he died twice in this series. And then Demyx is FUN but also I know he's flipped sides as well, which means he won't be fun much longer! Xehanort seems to switch motivations to whatever makes him the biggest threat (and several of Eraqus' old flaws seem to be mysteriously glued onto him), Sora isn't a motormouth anymore, Riku just doesn't get anyone who cares about him anymore because everyone's distracted by Sora and Kairi, IS ANYBODY GOING TO ADDRESS THE ACTUAL ISSUES THAT DROVE THE WAYFINDER TRIO APART, oh God Marluxia and Larxene you're good guys now what have they done to you

favourite friendship: I really like each of the trios. But you know what's even BETTER than the trios? If you put...all of the trios together...meaning Sora, Riku, Kairi, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Aqua, Terra, Ven, Roxas, Xion, Lea, Hayner, Pence, Olette...and then you added Isa back in there...and you gave them Ienzo...and you brought back Naminé...and you say that Subject X is Strelitzia and you have her turn back up so she can have justice done...AND YOU HAVE AN ULTRA KEYBLADE GROUP OF FRIENDS. As for Vexen, any purely platonic relationship I have for him is a crossover but trust me I have many crossover pals for he

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: See everyone I listed above in the friendship question. They can either mentor me or let me be their big sis/mom. But also, I will GLADLY be Merlin or Yen Sid's daughter. (But also would I kiiiiinda wanna be a VexDem daughter? This is the worst idea. Still wanna try)

#kingdom hearts

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serendipitous-magic · 4 years

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Why Don’t We Read: An Impromptu Essay By Me Because I’m Mad

You know how everyone is always saying “oh, I was such a big reader when I was a kid but I just don’t read books anymore, I don’t know what happened”? And how old people are always griping about “This is called a BOOK, it has no commercials and no loading screens, hardy har har har snorf har”?

What if it’s because we just don’t have time anymore?

Think about it. More and more and more of our time on earth is eaten up at our jobs just trying to survive in an economy where “minimum wage” covers maybe 1/3 of bare minimum expenses. And not only that, but we’re expected to juggle more and more and more things every single day. Long, uninterrupted hours simply... do not exist anymore.

Every day you have to not only commute to work, and then work, and then commute back, plus all the little chores and mundanities that make up every day life, cooking food and then eating food and folding laundry and cleaning and putting gas in the car and don’t forget that dentist appointment and better call Mom and if you have a lawn you have to water it and weed it and you have to figure out if you have enough to pay rent this month and you still have to call FedEx about that missing package and now you have to cook again and now there’s more laundry and so many emails to respond to and it’s been months since you washed your sheets hasn’t it and

BUT THEN

You are expected to do and be and keep up with so many things.

You’re supposed to work out, or jog, or do yoga, and you’re supposed to meditate or do a breathing exercise daily because it’s good for you, and while you’re at it, make sure that your living space looks like a magazine or an Instagram post, you need X minutes of sunshine a day to be healthy and Y minutes of exercise and Z number of steps, and you need to be an environmentalist and make sure you’re doing your part to save the planet, and you need to be constantly self improving, you need to be learning a language on Duolingo and doing projects like crocheting or writing or antiquing, you have to be completely unproblematic and constantly monitor everything you do and say and post because one tiny little thing can have the internet jumping down your throat, you’re supposed to be a nutritionist and a fitness nut and an expert on everything you talk about because society has become so black and white that saying “I don’t know” or “I didn’t know that before” is looked on as unacceptable, you’re supposed to know what’s in your coffee and where it came from, you’re supposed to be a son a daughter a sibling a parent a student a mentor but also you’re supposed to be an interior designer, a small business owner (if you do any kind of Etsy or commission thing), a revolutionary (you’d better care about every overwhelming, exhausting injustice in the world and you’d better take action against it - see below), a curator (if only of your own blog), a rhetor (you’d better damn well know how to argue or you’re screwed in this society), a teacher (because school districts don’t teach anyone shit), a negotiation expert because it is car salesmen and insurance agencies’ job to fuck you over as hard as they possibly can.

Oh and don’t forget, you’re supposed to simplify your life and live in the moment. That one’s very important.

All of this is most likely while you’re already working anywhere from 20-40+ hours per week.

Keep up with your friends on Facebook, spend time to see what they’ve been up to, spend time posting your own pictures, catch up with your Instagram and Twitter and Tumblr feed, and for fuck’s sake you’d better make sure you’re reblogging all the right things about current social events, and you’d better also be caught up on the news, which all happens and changes so fast now that communication is instantaneous, keep up with all the politics, know every new outrage and be outraged about it, keep up with the politicians, the scientists begging us to listen, the latest news about the celebrity outed as a bigot, the latest shooting, the latest bombing, the latest protest, you’d better keep up with all of that and know what’s happening in the world, every minute of every day, and oh don’t worry about having to seek the news out, it comes to you. Every little ping on your phone is a new piece of news.

And you’d better care about it all. You’d better have enough energy in your body and mind to care about all the politics and all the injustice, and be rightly outraged every single day by the state of the world and every new horror, but you’d better also care about the dying planet and the burning rainforests, the oil spill, the glacial melt, you’d better be outraged about that too and you’d better be able to act on that outrage because those are all so important, and they are, but then you also have to care about insurance companies ruining people’s lives by making it impossible to afford healthcare, and you have to care about how agricultural companies have made cruel and byzantine webs of laws to drive farms out of business and make food, a basic necessity of life, a business, and one that’s designed not to feed and nurture people but to make money. And then while we’re on the topic of money you’d better care that the top 10 richest companies in the world create 70% of the world’s pollution, and you’d better care about how billionaires could fix most of the world’s biggest problems and they simply choose not to, and how Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos and everyone like them have an amount of money and resources that no single person could ever come close to earning, and how if that wealth was fairly redistributed and recirculated into the economy then maybe minimum wage would actually earn you a living and that’s not even to mention the other systems of brutality and cruelty and injustice in society, the racism, the homophobia, the ableism, the ageism, the sexism, the -ism -ism -ism on for infinity

So you’d better buy and use reusable straws and reusable coffee cups, you’d better cut down on your CO2 emissions, you’d better take shorter showers, you’d better recycle your plastics and spend time at the store thinking about how you can buy things with less plastic wrapping, while you’re also thinking about those big agriculture companies, oh and by the way your eggs? The chickens they came from live in cages, barely being allowed to move for their entire lives, and you’d better be outraged about that too. Where do you think that milk came from? What does that cow look like? How about those peas, were they picked by someone being paid $1 an hour? Every single item on the shelf has some deep horror woven into its backstory.

You’d better sign every petition you can and you’d better reblog the right things about taking action against injustice and you’d better be vocal about it, you’d better buy your soap and your clothes from small businesses instead of supporting the big evil ones that are much easier to access and much, much cheaper (because somebody suffered, somewhere along the line, to make it that cheap), you’d better remember to save your pasta water to water your plants with instead of wasting it, you’d better make your gifts by hand (if you have the time, which you don’t), and

And then there’s the beauty industry.

You cannot go a single day without seeing something about “lose weight fast!” or “The Skinny Girl Cookbook!” or “This Weird Thing Burns Belly Fat!”, and everyone you see on screen is twig-thin or muscled, and don’t forget that you’re supposed to take the time to love yourself and practice body positivity too, oh wait no it’s too late, now body neutrality is the right thing to say and think. Every part of your face and body has some malady and you can buy a cure! Spend this much to get rid of acne, spend this much to wax your legs, buy this for wrinkles and that for stretch marks, this cream smooths out your skin to look like an eggshell instead of human flesh, that cream “fixes” those bumps on your arms that apparently aren’t allowed to exist, a basic face of makeup is at least 5 products if not 10, there are countless tutorials on how to make yourself better, because you aren’t okay as you are and you never will be as long as somebody can sell you something to “fix” yourself.

Oh, and that’s more time spent, too. Take the time to shave, to moisturize, to do your 3-step skincare routine, to slather all different kinds of goops and goos on various parts of you, take the time to pluck your eyebrows and exfoliate your feet and

Everything wants your attention, every second of every day. Because attention is money. Netflix Hulu Youtube watch this ad look at this ad Twitter Disney+ Twitter again Facebook more ads look at this ad sign up for this subscription package watch this new season of this show, watch this new movie, watch this watch this watch this watch look at this this watch this watch this look at this look at this look at this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this look over here look at this look at this look over here watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this watch this look at this

And then at the end of the day you still have to reserve time for the people in your life that are important to you, and leave time for those long conversations with your sister or time to bond with your kid or time to go on dates with your S.O.

And then you’re supposed to take time for yourself. Self care. Like social media is always saying to do. Take a bath, drink some tea, relax. If you have time.

And all of that. ALL of that. Most likely happens in the small slivers of time before and after your work day, or on the weekend in the small sliver of time before or after you fold that laundry and cook dinner and attend to your personal matters and maybe hang out with a friend if you’re lucky.

And I just described a fairly privileged, not-on-the-brink-of-poverty, not-in-and-out-of-the-hospital, not-constantly-targeted-by-violence-or-oppression life. I just described a cushy life.

Is it any fucking wonder that we all feel shattered? Like our time, even on free days with absolutely nothing scheduled, is made up of tiny pieces? Is it any wonder that it seems like nobody can sit down with a book anymore?

I’m so fucking tired.

#impromptu essay because I'm goddamn mad #long rant #sorry this blocks off your whole dash #but I don't think this one should have a read more line tbh #modern society #books #compassion fatigue #lifestyle #we need to change society but i'm afraid the inertia is too much #and the people in power who WANT it this way #are too powerful to beat #i should not be this fucking exhausted at 22

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yourkeeperoftherunners · 3 years

Text

Talk + Vodka = Truth (Marvel AU)

Plot: AU The Avenger caught the blonde stalking him for the past few weeks and he wants answers.

Characters: Hawkeye/Ronin!Changbin (SKZ) x Yelena Belova!Felix (SKZ), plus mention of Black Widow!Minho, Kate Bishop!Yeji, and other MARVEL characters

Rating: PG-13 (Language, spy behaviors, the Snap/the Blip, Red Room, assassin work, death, drinking, mention of PTSD)

Notes: This one shot is based on the MARVEL x SKZ moodboards I’ve been making for fun. The story is set between the events after Black Widow, Avengers: Endgame, and before the Hawkeye Disney+ show. If you’ve not watched the first two films and wish to avoid spoilers, please skip this story. Additionally, the contents of this one-shot are fictional and were created for fun.

Happy Birthday Changbin!

--------------------------------

“You sure you’re old enough to be here, Kid?”

The blonde rolled his eyes, before reaching into his jacket to produce an ID.

The waiter and the man seated across from him watched as the ID was handed over. The former scanned the front and sighed as he passed it back to the blonde.

“Sorry, guess The Blip screwed you over - you look young for your age,” the waiter apologized. “What can I get you?”

“Vodka,” the blonde replied. “How much for the bottle?”

Changbin raised a brow and stared at the young man seated across from him. This guy could put away a whole bottle of vodka? It didn’t seem right, plus that was pretty unhealthy to be drinking that much.

“Let me check with the bartender on that,” the waiter said. He turned to face Changbin and asked if he wanted the usual.

“Unless he intends to drink the entire bottle, I’ll take whatever vodka he wants,” Changbin responded.

The waiter excused himself and went to check on the vodka situation.

“Drinking a whole bottle of vodka in one go is bad for your liver,” Changbin noted as he folded his hands in front of him.

The blonde snorted and quipped that Changbin sounded like his brother. The comment made the Avenger raise a brow and he straightened up in his seat.

“The bottle is gonna cost you $35, tip not included,” the waiter announced when he returned.

Before Changbin could grab his wallet, the blonde beat him to it and placed a crumpled $50 into the waiter’s hand. “Keep the change.”

The waiter unfolded the bill and immediately left to grab the bottle and some glasses for serving. The place wasn’t busy for the early to mid-afternoon, but Changbin had a feeling the waiter wasn’t used to getting a larger than average tip during this time. The pair watched as the waiter returned within seconds with the bottle and two glasses.

Changbin flashed the waiter a light smile and told him to take it easy. He slid the bottle closer and opened it, before pouring some of the contents into one glass and nudging it across the table. “So, wanna tell me who the hell you are and why you’ve been stalking me for 2.5 weeks?”

The blonde barely had the glass raised to his lips when he heard the questions. He looked up from his glass and parted his lips slightly in shock. This made the Avenger snicker as he poured some vodka into the other glass for himself.

--------------------------------

About a month and a half after burying Tony and Minho, Changbin noticed that the same blonde guy would show up in various places around the same time. The guy tried to be less obvious with disguises and using remote ways to track him, but after working with Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. for years, the Avenger’s picked up on people attempting to trail him.

Earlier today, he sensed he was being followed and urged his new protege to take Lucky and get somewhere safe. Sure Yeji gave him lip for trying to protect her, but the last thing he’d want is for her to get killed, thanks to someone hunting for him. Once the young woman had left with the dog, he hung around the area and pulled his bow on the blonde, who had a regular sidearm pointed at him. For a while, he tried urging the blonde to drop the gun before he shot first, but the blonde remained defiant with his gun pointed at the Avenger. What made them stand down was the sound of a siren and the blonde looked a little concerned when he heard the alarm.

Changbin made up his mind and told the young man to follow him so they could get under cover somewhere to finish the matter. He chose this hole-in-the-wall place that he visited at times during The Blip, often sitting and brooding over his missing family in between kills.

The blonde swore in Russian and put his glass down. “All right Old Man, I’ll make this easy for both of us. Name’s Felix. My employer told me you killed my brother and that I’m supposed to bring you in. But before I do that, why did you do it? He was telling me before The Blip that the Avengers were his real family, not me or our parents.”

Changbin tilted his head as he looked closely at the blonde across from him. If the kid wasn’t an assassin, he looked like the good kid you’d find in a suburban neighborhood, probably playing sports and making lots of friends. But the Russian, the mention of his brother again – wait, was this...?

“Min,” he offered in a soft voice.

The blonde nodded sharply and he picked up his glass again. “He’s dead, thanks to you. I’d like to know why you killed him, before I decide if I wanna bring you in dead or alive.”

The Avenger stiffened when he heard the accusation. His partner told him to go for counseling after fighting Thanos, as he was suffering terribly from losing Tony and Minho. Talking to the counselor about Minho was hard and the former couldn’t convince him that it wasn’t his fault that Minho insisted he sacrifice himself for the Soul Stone. Telling his kids that their Uncle Min wasn’t coming home was horrible, as they asked where he was and talked about their favorite memories of the red-haired “uncle” they had come to love.

“Do you know anything about Thanos and the Infinity Stones in that goddamn gauntlet he wore?” Changbin asked after prolonged silence.

When Felix shrugged, Changbin sighed and pushed his glass away as he recounted the attempts to stop Thanos from killing Vision for the Mind Stone, losing everyone he knew, then trying to get the stones again to undo what happened 5 years ago.

“It was the shrinking guy’s idea, some kind of time heist,” Changbin said. “Minho and I went to some planet in space, while the others went elsewhere in time for the other stones. We get there, this creepy red skeleton guy tells us that one of us has to sacrifice ourselves –”

“So you chose my brother?”

“YOH! I wasn’t done talking, you little shit,” Changbin snapped as he narrowed his eyes. He took a deep breath and groaned as he tried to explain what happened next. This was the hard part whenever he went to therapy – it was difficult to talk about Vormir without getting choked up and replaying the images of Minho using a stun function in his cuff to distract him, and Changbin trying to grab his hand to stop the former spy.

“Damn it, I told him I was supposed to do it!” Changbin yelled as he slammed his fist on the table. “He actually tried to keep shit together after The Blip. Me, I, I lost it. I lost my whole family. My partner. My kids. All while we were at home, having a normal day. Then I went out and I hunted down every bad guy, every gang, every criminal organization, everyone that survived and didn’t deserve it!”

The Avenger hung his head and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep it together without crying. He could hear Minho’s voice, urging him to let go of his hand on Vormir.

“Let me go.”

“No. Please don’t.”

“It’s okay...”

The blonde took small sips from his glass as he watched and listened to the Avenger. Despite hating his time in the Red Room, he has to give his instructors some credit for teaching him the art of lying and reading a target’s body language. Based on what he’s seeing right now, the Avenger is telling the truth and Minho actually sacrificed his life to save the world. Which means, his employer lied or she exaggerated the story a bit, just to force him to cut his time off short. It wouldn’t surprise him – Val refused his request for a pay raise before handing over Changbin’s information for his next assignment.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m working for a female version of Dreykov, Felix thought. He put his glass down and stared across the table at the Avenger.

“Surprisingly, I believe you,” Felix replied. “Last time I saw my brother, he was going on about how he was trying to do good and forget about...yeah, well he was telling me how great things were with the Avengers before the Accords.” He played with his glass and tilted his head slightly. “You weren’t...dating my brother, were you?”

Changbin jerked his head up at the question and he paused for a few seconds, before laughing loudly. The blonde shot him a quizzical look and Changbin shook his head as he tried to compose himself.

“Oh man no, no way. Min was my colleague and sometimes, he thought it was funnier to ignore most of the shit I said,” Changbin said. “I swear he did it to piss me off, but other than that, we were friends.” He propped his elbow on the table and looked thoughtful as he recalled their mission in Budapest.

“He ever tell you about Budapest?”

Felix nodded and recounted his story of running from Dreykov’s project, otherwise known as Taskmaster, while protecting a serum to remove the brainwashing effect on the other Widows. “He makes me bleed out a bit, then we’re crammed in an air vent. An air vent. Think I saw tic-tac-toe games scratched inside the vent.”

“Wait, in the subway?”

“You mean it was the same vent you two hid in after you tried to kill Dreykov?” Felix asked. “That must have been...”

“Oh that was a weird three days!” Changbin laughed. “He got so annoyed by me complaining that I was hungry and said I was too loud. Once we got outta Budapest, he complained on the Quinjet that it was amazing I had someone in my life at all. But wait, what do you mean by ‘tried to kill Dreykov’? I thought Min said it was a hit – I saw the building go up in flames after the guy’s daughter went in. Don’t tell me that guy’s your employer.”

Felix made a face and he picked up his glass again.

“We’re going to be here a while...”

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barrybluejeansandbestjeanist · 4 years

Text

Notes on the Artemis Fowl movie by yours truly.

Bear in mind I wrote these while watching the movie. There’s a lot of them.

1. If you think the police and/or reporters would ever be anywhere near fowl manor you’re wrong.

2. Mulch isn’t bad so far but he’d never be caught by police.

3. Is our first introduction to Artemis him running? I think not thank you very much.

4. Plus it looks like he’s going to do some water sport. Also wrong.

5. Surfing!!??!!?

6. Artemis doesn’t have even close to the coordination to do that.

7. I don’t even think he knows how to swim.

8. He doesn’t love Ireland.

9. Of course he doesn’t love school! Have you seen his teachers’ remarks on him? They aren’t nice.

10. It was a boys-only school but that’s definitely one of the smaller offenses.

11. He did do the chess thing if I recall correctly.

12. Same for the opera house.

13. He didn’t clone a goat or name anything Bruce.

14. Unusual is an understatement.

15. Dr. Po?!

16. Fake chair! Yeah!

17. That exchange from the Arctic incident wasn’t a bad choice to include. Too early though I think. We’ll see how the rest of the movie goes.

18. He’s got blue eyes. At least there’s that.

19. He doesn’t have a biography!

20. His mom isn’t dead! Disney is just scared of showing mental illness.

21. If you think Angelina Fowl can’t control Artemis you’re wrong. She calls him Arty for god’s sake. He loves his mom.

22. Mysterious absences my ass. He’s the one that should be presumed dead.

23. “This is a sensitive area doctor” sure.

24. Fake chair ftw.

25. The burden of his father’s name?! He’s proud of that name.

26. This scene wasn’t so bad. We’ll see how the rest of the movie fairs.

27. Who does he think he is? He Artemis freaking Fowl!

28. Skateboarding! I’m about to have an aneurysm.

29. Also, why is he wearing jeans? Get this man a suit!

30. He did not like being at home with his dad. Not in the first book anyway. His parent being out of the way allowed him to do what he did.

31. His dad’s actor looks good for the part.

32. His father is a criminal. World-famous. He did not just deal with antiques and rarities.

33. His dad also didn’t care for fairytales.

34. Music’s nice I guess.

35. Why is arty wearing a hoodie?! He would never!

36. Artemis was not taught about fairies. He discovered them himself with basically no help.

37. So much physical contact between Artemis sr. and jr. No.

38. His dad did not believe in any such legends.

39. They shared only a passion for crime and that didn’t even last.

40. He wasn’t determined about any such thing. See point 36.

41. He wasn’t preparing Artemis for anything like that.

42. Fairy stones? What are those?

43. There was no peace made between humans and fairies.

44. Tuatha De Danaan? What is that?

45. Artemis would want to get to the point I guess.

46. His work was not coming to an end. What is going on? Can we meet Holly soon?

47. I’m ten minutes in and suffering.

48. Artemis wasn’t really one to smile unless things were going his way.

49. You are a child! You are still a kid! You’re like a literal baby still!

50. The whole point of him being 12 in the books was that he could still believe in magic as well as science. Wtf is going on?

51. I do know the Hill of Tara.

52. I take issue with “all I really want is to believe in you” but I don’t have time to get into it here.

53. He’s still wearing a hoodie. >:(

54. Hugging his dad. No.

55. I will accept the helicopter on the front lawn if only because it seems one thing that could’ve happened in the books.

56. Where are the Butlers? Why are neither of the fowls being guarded? I need more Juliet and Butler in this movie NOW.

57. And Holly.

58. Pretty sure they don’t have a lighthouse. Also, pretty sure fowl manor wasn’t next to the ocean.

59. Might’ve been near a Forrest. I don’t quite remember.

60. Legos?! LEGOS?!??!!

61. Also, star wars? I don’t think Artemis has ever seen a sci-fi movie. He’s too busy making them a reality.

62. Artemis would also not sleep with a book.

63. Why did Butler’s name in the subtitles appear as Domovoi? You know there’s a whole thing about his name and why Arty doesn’t know it right?

64. So his dad disappeared. Not bad. A little late but okay.

65. Everyone has already aired their grievances about Butlers actor so I shall refrain from doing so as well. I’ll just say one word and leave it at that. Eurasian.

66. Also, fowl manor doesn’t look bad. I can accept this house.

67. No no no. No one should be calling him Domovoi. Only Butler.

68. Also, that isn’t the training he had.

69. He is the butler though? I mean. Only sort of but like. ???

70. No. You could not call him Dom or Domovoi.

71. Very large man in a suit is slightly acceptable.

72. He could totally snap you in half but not without good reason. Come on, guys. He’s a nice guy. Scary, but nice.

73. Like, the dude cooks and gardens and whatnot. How is that not nice?

74. Also, I’m still hung up on the goat thing. Like I don’t deny that he could clone a goat but why on earth would he name it Bruce. Is it a Batman reference or something? I don’t understand this movie.

75. World wide manhunt? Pardon my doubt.

76. Superyacht? Owl star?

77. I get it. It’s a stupid pun.

78. I guess the South China Sea is close enough to Russia.

79. Again. Not an antiquities dealer.

80. Robberies? He ran a criminal empire!

81. Not sure how one would go about stealing the Rosetta Stone or why but sure.

82. I’ve never even heard of Boru’s Harp.

83. Nor the book of kells.

84. Why are you calling Butler Dom???

85. Yes! He is a criminal mastermind! Thank you for slightly acknowledging that!

86. Also, Artemis is not that rash.

87. He’s your dad and a criminal.

88. Why must Disney do this to my boy? He was an incredible character, smart, cunning, and a criminal and now he’s just a sort of smart kid. Lame.

89. I swear if this “raspy voice” is opal I will be so disappointed.

90. What is this? Artemis is supposed to be kidnapping fairies, not the other way around!

91. What is this Aculos and why should I care about it?

92. Also, why isn’t it Christmas? You could at least set it in winter. For crying out loud.

93. That isn’t word for word Artemis. I know you can remember it exactly.

94. I’m starting to think Orion is better than this fool.

95. Why is he wearing a hoodie?!??!???!

96. Just going to have a secret basement full of whatever secret stuff shoved in there because of course.

97. Also. As if butler would know about any of this.

98. Bunch of bottles of water. Okay.

99. ‘Cause Artemis Sr. totally knew about the fairies.

100. This is a stupid basement.

101. I’m so done with this.

102. Ah yes! An important journal! Predictable.

103. Stupid poem. Stupid way of finding the journal.

104. That was opal I see. I’m dying.

105. Beechwood. Isn’t that guy related to Holly or something? Also, not from the books.

106. Yes, Arty fairies exist. Surprising no one.

107. I like how they made the city look I suppose. And they kept the name the same. Of course, it must be noted that not all fairies live in haven. There are other cities.

108. Why is holly a baby? She shouldn’t look like a child. Also, tons of people have already spoken on holly’s appearance as well so I won’t say anymore.

109. Koboi mentioned. It was totally opal.

110. The fairies don’t look bad either. Though I don’t know if the little things are supposed to be goblins or what?

111. I guess not. These goblins also seem way too smart.

112. “You and I would make a great team” foreshadowing.

113. I do think mulch being taller is kinda funny.

114. Briar Cudgeon looks about how I expected. Do you think he’ll get his face melted?

115. Opal and Cudgeon working together. Unsurprising if a bit early.

116. You spy or you die. The CIA’s motto.

117. L.E.P. Recon. Nice.

118. I’m also not going to address the changing of roots gender and the fact that Holly is supposed to be the first female officer because again, many people have spoken at length about that. Still upset though.

119. Kelp and Verbil are around I see.

120. What is the Aculos? Like I get that it’s a weapon by why should I care?

121. Also, I think Root should be smoking.

122. Holly’s father? Why should he matter or even be a part of this?

123. They kept Holly 84. Good.

124. Reinforcements? Juliet?!!!!

125. She’s 12? She’s supposed to be sixteen! No!

126. Niece!!!! She’s supposed to be his sister.

127. Also, screw Disney for changing the fairy alphabet so we can’t read it.

128. Artemis should be able to decode it though. He’s not much of a genius, is he?

129. Foals needs a tinfoil hat and should look way way nerdier.

130. Troll! Time! Yeah!

131. Yeah! Lava chutes!

132. Foaly’s CGI is a little wonky but whatever.

133. So that’s why Holly’s father is important. Stupid.

134. The executors. You mean the council.

135. Don’t just fly over the surface unshielded, you dolt!

136. Butler your camouflage sucks ass.

137. Butler wouldn’t complain.

138. Butler’s eyes are freaking me out. No one’s eyes look like that.

139. The LEP helmets are stupid looking.

140. That isn’t what a troll looks like. Stop it, Disney.

141. Time Stop. Not a time freeze.

142. The magic looks cool.

143. That’s not how a time stop works. But at least it looks cool.

144. I suppose I can accept that’s how they do mind wipes.

145. “This is a strange wedding” is the best joke so far.

146. Why are none of the fairies shielded?

147. Holly has such boring motivation.

148. You shouldn’t just read your dad’s journal Arty. It’s rude.

149. I’m so over arty’s dad already knowing about the fairies as well as this beechwood fellow.

150. Why does this Aculos exist? If it’s so dangerous, why not get rid of it?

151. Opal Koboi. Finally.

152. Like Arty would ever dress like that. He’d still be wearing a suit and be spotless.

153. “They’re real.” No kidding!

154. Fox!

155. I’m surprised they included trying and succeeding to shoot holly.

156. Kinda wish they’d kept the bury an acorn to get magic thing but small fish and all.

157. Now it’s starting to remind me of the real Artemis Fowl story.

158. Cudgeon is slimy and annoying and I’m here for it.

159. That’s a shitty looking cage.

160. “Not happy” I wonder why?

161. Reflective glasses! Yes! Give me the fowl crew in cringey reflective sunglasses.

162. The Mesmer is done nicely. Love Juliet’s glasses.

163. A flannel and reflective sunglasses. That classic Artemis fowl look.

164. So he did decode their language.

165. The acting isn’t terrible.

166. Most humans are afraid of gluten how do you think they’d handle goblins is a good line.

167. Again. Not how time stops work but okay.

168. So let me get this right. Instead of the fairy bible which Artemis poisoned a fairy to get they just replaced it with his dad‘s journal. great.

169. Don’t give Artemis a weapon! He’s gonna cut his own arm off!

170. The time freeze does look cool though.

171. I can appreciate them gathering on the beach. That’s kinda cool.

172. Finally a suit! Get this kid properly clothed!

173. Though that tie is a little sus. Why’s it so skinny?

174. That fight scene wasn’t too bad. Again Arty is definitely not supposed to be good at anything physical but it’s whatever.

175. Flair for the dramatic? This is hardly as dramatic as the book.

176. I hate opal’s voice.

177. Waged war on your people? That was 10,000 years ago!

178. Opal’s motives are also super boring.

179. I’m sad we don’t get to see arty practicing his evil smile in the mirror.

180. In one of those pots. From under the rainbow. Fun.

181. Glad they kept the whole while I’m alive stipulation.

182. Glad to see the goblins still have fire powers.

183. These goblins really shouldn’t be so smart.

184. I hope we get to see mulch unhinge his jaw soon.

185. I do like mulch.

186. This heart to heart is stupid. Artemis wouldn’t trust holly just like that me thinks.

187. I like that mulch is up on all the human pop culture. I do wish he’d make a Gordon Ramsey reference though since he likes him.

188. Mulch not wanting to be tall is excellent character motivation though.

189. Now this is the heart to heart I needed.

190. Is he gonna unhinge his jaw?! I’ve been waiting for this the whole time!

191. Yeah!!!!!!

192. Eat that dirt!

193. Mulch!

194. “What would your parents be?”

195. A really really big dwarf.

196. Sick safe. Nothing mulch can’t handle.

197. That definitely isn’t what I expected from mulch’s hair but that’s okay.

198. Yeah! Holly punched Artemis! Now there just needs to be a lollipop remark.

199. Is that the Aculos? It looks stupid.

200. Also, I do appreciate the inclusion of the iris cam.

201. Opal, you’re so boring.

202. Cudgeon is taking over. Kinda wish it was of his own will because that’s more interesting but whatever.

203. Troll time part two. I doubt butler is going to almost die fighting it. Maybe he’ll wear a suit of armor though. That’d be cool.

204. How is it we’re an hour in and only just now get a d’arvit? Surely many other scenes warranted that.

205. I do like that mulch pickpocketed butler.

206. Don’t just stand in front of the door when A Troll is about to be sent in!

207. The wings do look really cool though.

208. Also, Juliet really shouldn’t be trying to fight a troll.

209. I mean. None of them should but you know.

210. Mulch eating the Aculos is very in character. I’m glad Artemis’s bedroom is being destroyed. It was terrible.

211. While I don’t care for the way the troll looks (Far too human, not enough claws and venom) the amount of destruction it’s causing is appropriate I feel.

212. I guess that’s how the fight can go.

213. Also, Juliet is so smart and strong yet she can’t pull herself over a ledge? Pathetic.

214. Don’t move butler to a completely different room! He’s got a back injury! You probably just made it worse!

215. Butler isn’t going to die. This is stupid.

216. Trouble doing the lords work.

217. I told you butler would be fine.

218. One of the times Butler would nearly die. If we’re following the books then more should follow.

219. Also what is this room they’re in?

220. Butler would not be ashamed to cry.

221. I’m living for everyone’s reactions to where mulch stored the Aculos.

222. I like the way it looks when they get grabbed by the time stop.

223. She’s gonna save Artemis. Obviously.

224. I like the way it looked when the time stop broke.

225. “Breaking every rule in the book” we haven’t even seen your book! Just his dad’s stupid journal.

226. He and holly should not be friends yet. He kidnapped her!

227. Ooh, forever friends how sweet! Get fucked. Both of you.

228. Now are we in Russia?

229. Opal annoys me so much.

230. So are you trying to tell me that this Aculos is the movie’s version of the book? Holly’s saying that poem.

231. This isn’t how magic is supposed to work.

232. >:(

233. I will admit it looked cool. Begrudgingly.

234. Your dad isn’t dead.

235. He’s in the secret basement that still exists for some reason.

236. Also, I didn’t note this before, but I doubt Arty ever called his dad, dad.

237. Opal is thwarted.

238. Why she so ugly looking? Pretty sure she was supposed to be pretty.

239. This is so stupid.

240. Opals accomplices, you mean those two dunderheads she had helping her?

241. How are there still fifteen minutes of this torture left?!

242. Again. Butler would not be ashamed to cry.

243. Just wait until Artemis gets magic of his own.

244. I’m so tired. It’s 12:14 at night and I just want this torture to end. Please god just let the credits roll already!

245. And now they’re famous. Whoop de do. Just tell us how mulch gets captured and escapes and end the movie. That’s all I ask.

246. You know he hasn’t been referred to as Artemis Fowl the Second throughout this whole disaster. What a slight to him.

247. Ray bans.

248. Oh yeah. Brag to opal. Great idea.

249. Criminal mastermind. Juvenile Genius. Same difference.

250. Why is his tie so skinny?

251. Is he gonna fly the helicopter?! Finally something in character!

252. Now just let mulch escape and finish this godforsaken nightmare!

253. Fowls? Protecting us? Pardon me while I laugh.

254. They do the unhinging of mulch’s jaw nicely.

255. And now they mission impossible him out of there. Perfect.

256. I’m dying. Let it be over. Please.

257. No more!

258. Fly off into the sunset. Of course.

259. Thank god! Credits! I’m free!

260. And another thing! They didn’t have the follow-up scene with Dr. Po! That would’ve been a way better ending! And you can’t just have one scene without the other!

#artemis fowl #artemis fowl movie #artemis fowl the second #artemis fowl the movie #hate

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elisaphoenix13 · 5 years

Text

Cyan Scales

Tony walks into his room to grab his tablet off the nightstand and he pauses when he hears splashing in the connecting bathroom. Was Stephen taking a bath? He only took those when he had a long day, and it would make sense since Tony and Peter hadn't seen him come home. The sorcerer probably portaled directly to the bathroom.

At least it wasn't the shower. Last time Stephen portaled into the shower, he had been slimed and although the many rounds of sex that followed were amazing, Tony just wasn't down for that right now. He had a long day himself and it wasn't even over.

"Babe? You in a fish mood?" Tony asks as he walks over to the closed bathroom door and raises a brow when he hears frantic splashing.

"Don't come in!"

"...why?" Tony asks carefully.

"I'm...not decent." Stephen responds lamely, and with the tone that he even knew that sounded lame.

Tony chuckles. "It's a bit late for that Stephanie." The engineer says as he opens the door. "I've seen every inch of--"

Tony freezes when he enters the bathroom. There, sitting in their rather large tub, was Stephen...but he had a tail. A fish tail. A cyan colored fish tail. The doctor blushes hotly as his husband continues to stare and he sighs heavily.

"Not a word Tony."

Stephen's voice broke the other man's trance and he bursts into laughter, resulting in getting splashed by the annoyed doctor. "Peter!" Tony shouts. "Mama Bear took fish mood to a whole new level!"

"I'm not coming in there! I'm already scarred for life!" The teen shouts from downstairs and Stephen sighs with relief.

"Nothing scarring here Underoos! Just get your butt up here! You'll love it!"

Stephen glares at Tony when they hear Peter groan loudly, and the sorcerer prepares himself for the teens guaranteed laughter when he arrives. Peter shuffles into the bathroom skeptically and carefully looks over Tony's shoulder, and his snickers quickly turn into full blown laughter that renews Tony's own. Stephen glowers at them for a full two minutes as they finally calm down, and they wipe their eyes free of mirthful tears.

"Mom...when we called it fish mood--"

"Do not finish that sentence." Stephen grumbles. "A spell went wrong and turned me into this, but Wong kicked me out. He didn't want me to get the books wet, so now I'm stuck here while he finds a spell to fix this."

"Honey, that can't be comfortable. There's a pool down on the training floor if--"

Tony blinks when Stephen opens another portal before diving through it and he and Peter look at each other when it closes. They trip over each other as they rush down to the elevator and take it down to the training floor, and quickly find Stephen "stretching out" by swimming around. Tony approaches the edge of the pool and crouches down just as the doctor swims up to him, and grins.

"How does that chlorine taste?"

"It was awful until I used my magic to purify the water." Stephen responds and flicks some water up at Tony.

"Better though?" Peter asks and the sorcerer nods.

"I'll be much happier when I have legs again." He notices the growing twinkle in Peter's eyes and he points at the teen. "Cub, I swear to the Vishanti, if you make me watch The Little Mermaid on an endless loop, I will put you in a timeout portal!"

"Whatttt?! Psh! I wasn't going to--" Peter stops when both Stephen and Tony give him a look. "Okay, yeah. I was totally going to do that."

Unfortunately, Tony couldn't stay any longer. He was already late as it was to his next meeting, and this new development with Stephen had made him even later. So he gave his wife a kiss and ruffled Peter's hair, earning an annoyed groan from the teen, and left for the rest of his day. Then Peter had decathlon practice to get to even though it was a Saturday because Nationals was around the corner, and had to leave not ten minutes later, leaving Stephen alone.

He got bored and lonely fast. The loneliness being the stronger feeling because he was stuck in this damn pool. He couldn't even portal to a lake or the ocean or anything because the water would be too cold for his hands, even as he was now. He was stuck waiting in the pool with no one to talk to. Once upon a time, he would have reveled in the quiet but not anymore. The quiet would have been more bearable if he had soemthing to occupy himself with but he didn't. All he could do was swim...and that lost its appeal within the first ten minutes.

So he was left to his thoughts without anything to do and that was never a good thing. He somehow managed to keep himself from depressing thoughts, and he also realized that Tony always gave him something to do or distracted him with endless chatter if he ever caught Stephen staring off at nothing. Crossword puzzles, reviewing contracts and paperwork to make sure Tony didn't miss anything, rambles about new suit upgrades, and even poked him with sharp objects. Of course the last one always got Stephen glaring at his husband and threatening to send him free-falling, but he never noticed until now that Tony had been distracting him. Even if it meant he would sleep on the couch that night, he always kept Stephen out of his head in whatever way he could.

Stephen maybe loved him a little more now.

Peter did it too but he stuck with rambling about anything and everything, or cuddles.

The Sorcerer Supreme was stuck with his tail longer than expected and had to spend the night in the pool, and that had made him feel even more lonely. He missed the feeling of Tony's body heat against his back, the engineer's strong hold, the breath on the back of his neck...he even missed the times when Tony would lightly snore. Sometimes into his ear which drove Stephen bonkers at times.

He didn't sleep that night. He felt too cold after the reminder of what he didn't have. Stephen took to lazily swimming around the pool instead, and trying not to think about how empty and alone he felt. He wanted company. Anyone would do, even Tibbs or Levi would be a step up at this point.

He got Sam. The man had come down to the training room for his morning routine and didn't bother hiding his look of surprise when he saw Stephen in the pool.

"Hey Mama Bear. Couldn't sleep?"

"Among other things." Stephen grumbles and watches warily as Sam approaches the pool. The darker male quickly notices his fish tail, but instead of laughing, he just gave the doctor a weird look.

"Is that what everyone means by you being in a fish mood?"

"No. This was an accident."

Sam throws his hands up in the hair. "Then what the hell does fish mood mean?!" Stephen smirks in response and Sam rolls his eyes. "Screw you man."

"Tony has that covered quite well actually."

"Ugh."

The Falcon goes over to the farther corner of the floor to work through his routine, and the noise he made helped Stephen's loneliness. Steve and Bucky were the next to arrive on the training floor, and his conversation with them was similar to Sam's, except they were more accepting of the situation. They were used to weird at this point and just shrugged before joining Sam. The rest of the morning passed by with arriving and exiting team members, and Stephen was happy when Peter came down in his swim trunks to spend time with the sorcerer.

The teen's cannonball, however, left Stephen a little less impressed.

"Was that necessary?"

Peter grins when the doctor asks him that after he surfaces. "It's a rule Mom."

"Right...where's your father?"

"I think he's asleep still. Yes, he actually went to bed last night." The teen's says to his mother's skeptical look.

"That makes one of us." Stephen mutters under his breath, and splashes Peter with water when his son looks at him with concern. "How was practice yesterday?"

His question was distraction enough. Peter had gone off about how hard MJ was working them recently, but it wasn't so bad since they had gone out for pizza. The teen only had a few slices to put on a show of being a normal teenager, but he did buy a couple more boxes for himself when he left. The talk of food had Stephen's stomach growling loudly, and he was pretty sure it echoed throughout the room because the remaining team members had burst into laughter.

"Do we need to find some kelp or plankton for you to eat Mama Bear?" Clint teases.

"What do...merpeople...even eat?" Scott asks.

Stephen sighs heavily and resists the urge to smack his head against the ground by the pool. Stone wasn't a friend to anybody's forehead. "I can eat normal food you know."

Even Natasha had put in her two cents. "We can't give him fish guys."

"Fish are friends--" Peter starts with a grin and the rest of the team (sans Stephen) finish.

"...Not food."

The teen brushes away a fake tear. "I'm so proud of you guys."

Stephen groans. "Another Disney reference? Really?" He looks up from where he had earlier laid his head on his arms when a portal forms and the doctor finds Wong with a book. "Please tell me you can fix this. I've already suffered through the threat of having to watch a Disney movie on an endless loop and the children just quoted one..." A collective 'hey!' resounds through the room at the children term and Wong raises a brow.

"Maybe I should leave you like this for a little while longer."

"Please don't."

Wong smirks but opens the book. "Might want to grab your swimsuit or something."

Stephen's eyes widen slightly in understanding and he opens a small portal to grab his swim trunks. "Peter, close your eyes."

Peter didn't need to be told twice. He swam a little ways away and turned with his eyes closed, and the darker skinned sorcerer conjures the reversal spell. In the blink of an eye, Stephen had his legs back and he hurriedly pulls on his swim shorts before giving Peter the okay. The others went back to their training while Stephen was turned back to normal, and he was thankful for that because when he got put of the pool and tried to stand, he had faltered. Swimming with his legs back was one thing, but standing was entirely another. In the short time he had the tail, he had grown used to it but adjusting back to his normal form would only take a few moments. Peter, to his credit, had bit his lip to keep himself from making Little Mermaid references, and helped Stephen up to the penthouse. Wong had portaled away after being kind enough to cast one more spell to instantly dry both Peter and Stephen, and they had made their way to the elevator.

"Food first. I'm starving." The doctor admits.

Peter looks up at him sheepishly as he helps him to the table. "Now that I think about it, we forgot to feed you didn't we?"

Stephen gives him a deadpan look. "Did you really just compare me to a pet goldfish?"

"Nah. You're tail was too pretty. Maybe a beta."

"...you're grounded."

#ironstrange #mama bear stephen strange #supremefamily #peter parker #tony stark #stephen strange #sam wilson #clint barton #scott lang #natasha romanov #wong

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banjodanger · 3 years

Text

X-Men: Days Of Future Past(2014);or, How To Squander Potential Without Really Trying

Yes, I should absolutely have posted this by now. However, what I actually did was doomscroll twitter and refresh three news websites constantly for a week and a half and give myself anxiety attacks.

We live in a country where seventy million people thought Trump was anything more than dogshit in semi-human form. Three turds in a poorly-tailored suit. Ugh. Can we please get just have a candidate that supports UBI and M4A? Like, basic human rights?

Anyway.

Let’s get something out of the way. The Rogue Cut is the best version of this movie. Hell, it’s the best of the core X-Men movies. They made a mistake not releasing this in theatres, because I can easily say this movie has everything that make the X-Men team great. It’s dramatic, there are fights, the movie is horny...it is everything you would want out of this movie. It builds off of what made First Class great and continues that story, while still bringing in the characters that made the first three two movies enjoyable.

Even things that didn’t work in previous movies comes back here and get a chance to succeed. Ellen Page was used as a dramatic tool in the(ugh) third one and her version of Kitty Pryde really suffered as a result. I won’t act like she’s given much more to do in this film, but she’s a bit more clearly defined. Her conversation with Logan involves more characterization than the entirety of the third movie. And by bringing in Rogue as Kitty’s salvation at Bobby’s expense, you get a dramatic tension that Ratner either isn’t capable or has never bothered to try.

I think what really makes this movie, and The Rogue Cut specifically, distinct is the amount of world-building it does. The expanded cut gives time to suggest Quicksilver’s mother is a alcoholic, which goes to explain his own risk-taking behavior. It suggests a world that exists beyond his moments in the movie, and that’s something this series has been extremely lacking in. A flaw in this series, and indeed in the entire superhero genre, is a fear of showing these characters as anything other than ON. It’s ok to allow these characters to breathe. Do we need to see his mother’s frustration and coping mechanism? No. But it brings us further into this world

Specifically, take a look at when Beast asks Logan if he makes it in the future. In the theatrical moment it’s a brief aside during the final battle. It’s not a bad choice, Hoult has played Beast as someone who is conflicted and not extremely self-assured; it makes sense that his character would look for encouragement before running off. However, in the Rogue Cut it’s placed before any excitement. We still get the character beat but here it is allowed to breathe, given it’s own room and it’s own focus. It’s seperate and distinct and much better as a result.

All of which makes everything that comes after this movie all the more frustrating. This movie goes out of its way to put the franchise in a new spot, and then it does nothing with it. Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds give us some great solo movies but Hugh Jackman has continuously been the highlight of this franchise, and Ryan Reynolds has basically been auditioning for Deadpool his whole career. There’s a reason he’s the only actor making the transition to Marvel from this series.

While I do still consider this the high point of the franchise, I do wonder if, in hindsight, the movie deserves a little reconsideration. Obviously hard work was put into making this movie, but where does the hard work go? Assume for a second Disney hadn’t consumed Fox into its gaping maw, as to go all intellectual property on its own sullen death march. Apocalypse had certain moments of fun but still brought nothing new to the series, and everything after Deadpool 2 was bogged down in reshoots and delayed releases(Dark Phoenix was originally scheduled for 2018, hardly the delay New Mutants got but by no means did it help.)

Which leads us into problematic stuff. You can’t make an X-Men movie at Fox without some problematic stuff, there’s an ancient incantation in the first movie or something. I mentioned this in the last post, but let’s go through it again. Days of Future Past is a Kitty Pryde story, not a Wolverine story. I get not introducing Rachel Summers and in fact I’m glad they didn’t. And before you get mad, Rachel Summers is a great character. But this movie introduces a half-dozen characters for their “film debuts,” and apart from Quicksilver it wastes every single one of them. Fox does this throughout the entire series too, and I’d rather they not introduce a character than use them for a cameo. This series introduced Jubilee three separate times to literally forget about it in the next scene, so yea, we should be happy they left this character for the inevitable Marvel reboot.

But they had already introduced Kitty. She’s supposed to be the main character in this story. Days of Future Past, in the comics, was Kitty Pryde’s first major story. She was coming in as the brand new character right after the Dark Phoenix Saga which(in case you somehow didn’t know) saw Jean Grey’s death and Cyclops leave the X-Men. It’s not a huge arc but it gave a brand new character a memorable introduction. And in the movie, she’s pushed to a supporting role. This isn’t to say Jackman isn’t great in his role, but that’s something that has been proven time and again. If the movie as a whole was about acknowledging the mistakes, then it stands out that they’re unable to cede the spotlight to another character. People have devoted time and energy to documenting all the ways female superheroes have gotten neglected and pushed to the side, and a lot of those thinkpieces are done by better writers than I. So I’ll just say that Kitty Pryde is absolutely a character that deserves better than this treatment.

This movie does play fast and loose with history and I’d be remiss if I didn’t make notice here. The Paris Accords were signed in January of 1973, so Peter’s Dark Side of the Moon shirt and Hello Hooray are anachronistic by about a month’s time. Though RFK stadium was there, Washington did not currently have a baseball team in 1973. So, it’s nice that guy is maintaining the baseball diamond but he’s probably doing it for free, and Erik’s probably better off not accepting his help. It deserves mention, however, that this movie doesn’t gloss over the fact that the US decisively lost the Vietnam war. It’s not a huge leap but considering Hollywood in the eighties made “winning the Vietnam War” its own subgenre the change is respectable. The advent of examining DNA is also anachronistic by about forty years. As the last two core films in this series are both set up as period pieces I believe it becomes more necessary to call out these mistakes.

Throughout all of this I feel like this is an essential movie in the franchise. I also don’t think it would have the same impact without watching the six previous movies in the franchise. Not to say people wouldn’t enjoy it, but there’s some jokes and plot beats that I don’t think would hit the same. It’s nothing compared to where the MCU is now(in half the time no less), but I think Marvel as a studio had the benefit of seeing other studios screw up. Fox, in 2000, had no blueprint. I think a move like DOFP was always going to become inevitable, but that it would turn out so well was not. In the end, this movie proves that a launching pad does nothing if you cannot grab that next rung.

Up Next: Ryan Reynolds ensures this franchise will have a second legacy, and finishes out the longest streak of solid movies in this whole franchise.

#xmen #xmenmovies #foxmovies #days of future past #x-men #Movie Critic #movie critique #x men movies #x men films #x men universe

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takaraphoenix · 4 years

Note

So... Why do you think Tangled the series is crap?

*blinks surprised* Well, this was defininitely not what I expected in my inbox this morning. Okay. xD

EDIT: So answer under the cut. If you still end up reading it and don’t want to hear criticism of the show, I really don’t know what to tell you…

1. Eugene/Rapunzel

What really didn’t do it any favors was the fact that before I started watching Tang/ed, I had just finished watching Tarzan the animated series for the first time. And, I’ve gone on a lengthy praise-rant about that one but the sum of it is that Tarzan is a beautiful portrayal of a healthy relationship and its growth.

Tang/ed flat-out forgot Eugene existed for the majority of season 1. Like. He was there. Occasionally. More in the background. Showing up after the adventures. And even when he was prominently featured, he didn’t get any romantic scenes with Rapunzel. They severely cut back on the Eugene/Rapunzel interactions in season 1.

Most of Rapunzel’s screentime was spent with New BFFOC #1, while most of Eugene’s screentime was spent with New BFF OC #2.

And I love Eugene/Rapunzel, I love their tenderness and how they got together in the first movie. I had expected a Tarzan level of romantic growth, development and focus on their romance. I mean, seriously, the whole movie had little going on that could have been continued, what with the hair cut and the witch gone, there was only “Rapunzel gets to reunite with her family and her and Eugene’s relationship gets to grow and develop while Rapunzel learns what it means to be a princess”.

Holy shit would I have loved a TV show with that premise and focus.

Instead, they sidelined Eugene for most of season 1 in favor of focusing on the new OCs - and yes, I admit, the Eugene/Rapunzel got better and got more screentime and actual development in season 2, but that’s… a whole-ass season too late in my opinion.

The Eugene/Rapunzel dynamic was what carried Tang/ed the movie, but the show put Eugene on the backburner to focus on its new shiny things. He should have been right there, at her side, every step of the way, not her sneaking off with only Cassandra all the time. He should have been her rock, her number one fan and supporter.

2. The Parents

Rapunzel’s parents? The freaking trauma of the whole thing? The loving reunion, the bonding time? Barely there and even then it sets in relatively late and very much only in between. This should have been one of the main angles of this show; after so many years, a whole life-time in fact, they are reunited with their daughter, now it’s time she learns what you love and what you’re like and you learn what she loves and what she’s like, you get to show her her kingdom and tell her about her family. It does however end up more like the… D story of the cartoon, really.

Half the time, they just Exist. And most of the times that they are prominently featured, it’s for dad to somehow royally screw up, really… Which only made me sadder, because I usually love Disney Dads. Like, Disney creates beautiful dads. Instead, this show continued making him mess up.

The missed opportunity for bonding time, real bonding time, in actual character arcs, not just in throwaway episodes maybe every now and again, is just… so infinitely sad to me as someone who loves a good family dynamic and who, looking at a movie that literally was about “long-lost daughter is reunited with her parents”, absolutely expected that to be in the focus somewhere, not in the background.

3. The OCs

In number 1, I already mentioned New BFF OC #1 and New BFF OC #2, so lets give them names and let’s also dive into them.

I love Lance Strongbow. He is genuinely the one thing about this cartoon that I absolutely adore. He’s the type of personality Eugene absolutely would have gotten into trouble with as a kid. Their dynamic is so well-captured and he’s a delight.

My problem is Cassandra. I really hate that character, hated her even before the reveal that ultimately made me drop the show.

Look. Rapunzel is this incredibly positive sunshine girl. And they… gave her a pessimistic, sarcastic, snarky best friend. That’s a really hard clash and it can work brilliantly, or it fails. In this case, it fails, because Cassandra constantly channels her sarcastic snark into mean comments and insults aimed at Eugene.

Who, the actual ever-loving fuck, would stand for that?

Who would let this new chick just constantly insult your partner, stab at your partner with words, put your partner down, and then decide “Yes. You are my New Best Friend!”. If someone would treat my girlfriend, who is absolutely amazing and whom I adore, the way Cassandra treats Eugene? I would definitely not befriend that person, what the fuck.

And that’s not taken into consideration Cassandra’s side of things. She seemed to think of Rapunzel as her best friend, but she still had to constantly vocally insult Rapunzel’s boyfriend. Who does that? You don’t like him, okay fine, shut up about it though, no reason to always be extra mean to him, especially not while Rapunzel is right there to hear you.

It’s just… I get it, I get when you don’t like your friend’s partner. But… Cassandra has no actual reason to be that way with Eugene? He literally never did anything to her. He saved Rapunzel, he was ready to die to save Rapunzel, way before Cassandra even knew Rapunzel. If anything, he should have her respect, but at the very least he should have the benefit of the doubt.

I don’t like this unfounded hostility toward Eugene and I don’t like how Rapunzel just smiles and ignores it and never calls Cassandra out on it.

And then the point where I stopped watching the show. When Cassandra, who is supposed to be Rapunzel’s best friend, betrays her because of Gothel. Because of course it’s revealed that she’s Gothel’s daughter - they really had to retcon her into being Gothel’s daughter, they really had to do that cheap dump trick, never mind who would have slept with her, when, oh how convenient that her kid is Exactly The Same Age as Rapunzel despite Gothel being literal centuries old, and like fuck that woman would have raised a child on her own like that, the only reason she tolerated Rapunzel was because of her powers. But no, now Gothel had a secret toddler before stealing Rapunzel and instead of ever, at any point, getting her daughter back, she just traded her for superpowered Rapunzel. Which is just such bullshit writing and so cheap and cringey, but to then make Cassandra, who was supposed to be Rapunzel’s best friend and who knew of the abuse, who knew of the trauma that Rapunzel had suffered at the hands of Gothel, betray Rapunzel because “mommy liked you more!” was just… the ultimate Fuck You to me, personally.

And while we’re at OCs and cringey bullshit writing - they really had to retcon Eugene into being A Prince All Along. And not just… any prince, no, no, since she is the sun and her kingdom watched over the sun drop, he is the moon and his kingdom watched over the moon drop and isn’t that super poetic? But that’s beside the point, that comes later, for now just the fact that they couldn’t even let Eugene stand on his own either, they had to also retcon him.

That’s like if the Aladdin show had decided to introduce the sultan of the neighboring kingdom and oh no wait he’s Al’s father now, Aladdin was a prince all along after all actually! No, that show at least kept Al’s suddenly alive father also a streetrat and thief.

That’s what Tang/ed should have done, if they had to retcon Eugene out of orphanhood. Make his dad a supposedly Big Bad and thief until at the season finale it is revealed that they’re father and son and dad maybe never even knew Eugene existed or whatever.

But to make him a prince just like that and have Eugene act so… nonchalant about it all and take it all in such stride, after all these years… it was bullshit.

Also, before we get into the big issue (because yes, so far, this was the small stuff that bothered me), let’s talk about Varian. Man was that a heap of bullshit too. Cute adorable kid who could have become an ally… had to… turn Angry And Bitter and feel betrayed by sunshine protagonist because something happened that was absolutely out of sunshine protagonist’s control. I hate that plot-tool so incredibly much. And then he’s just… redeemed and immediately forgiven and All Is Good. Pff.

4. The Moon

Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuuuck thiiis.

Gods, I can’t put into words how much I loathe the fact that they took “so she had a sun drop, right? Let’s now add–A MOON DROP! *gasps*”… It’s so stupid, it’s so stupid, it’s so stupid.

And badly handled, man.

The contradictory powers would have been cool. The moon drop as the shadow side to her could have had like… potential. But what they did with it? With the weird black stones, with the weird sudden black hair (why in the world would the moon incantation work on her, she is literally the sun drop and has no attachment to the moon drop). Why would the moon drop black stones cause her magic hair to grow back, that was bullshit too.

Like, yeah, the whole hair thing is questionable at best in the movie already, I know - why would cutting it have an effect on the magic, since the magic is inside of her, that was nonsense.

But that it now just… grows back. And like. the full length. For no reason. Not that she just turns blonde again and her hair grows back the normal way, nope. Sudden 10 meter of hair. Because… I mean, you can’t make a Rapunzel show without Rapunzel’s classic long hair, I guess.

That whole sun and moon thing was so… stupid, yeah, and badly handled and executed because the powers just make no sense and the cause and effect there are just so weird. It was very much just “it does whatever the plot requires it to do” and I hate that kind of writing, I prefer set rules within the magic that make sense.

Also, watching this parallel to Elena of Avalor, who also had a sun and moon balance plotline and handled that on a way more evened out playing field? Yeah, that only made Tang/ed look even worse.

5. The Animation

We’re taking the part where I personally think the art style is ugly as fuck out of the equation here, because I know that’d be an unfair point and that others find that style… pretty… for some reason.

The main problem here is more that good gods do I miss 2D movies when I have to sit through these kind of tie-in shows. Because back in the day, a tie-in show actually tied into the movie, in art and animation style too.

I hate that style-break, it’s dumb. It’s dumb on Big Hero 6 too.

Seriously. You’re Disney, you have the freaking budget nowadays, if you make a TV tie in for a movie, at least try to find an animation style that is vaguely in line with the movie…

Like, the argument that 3D animation would be more expensive - or, you know, more easily looks cheap as fuck - doesn’t even count if you consider that this is DISNEY. I’m serious, look over at DreamWorks.

Sure, sure, many were bothered with the cheaper animation of the How to Train Your Dragon series, but it was at least 100% in line with the movie and let’s be real you can’t expect the same animation budget for a show like you got for a movie and that was always the case. But it was close enough.

They could have done this for Tang/ed. Especially considering it’s Disney and they literally have all of the money.

I mean, again, look at DreamWorks - Trollhunters may just be the prettiest 3D animated series out there. That looks gorgeous, in animation.

There’s no reason why Disney can’t do that, can’t put that much effort into its tie-ins of its 3D movies. No reason at all.

Instead, they went with what I assume is a cheaper way of animation and just a huge fuck you to the gazillionaire corporation that has the budget to book its movie stars into whole-ass MCU tie-in shows and would have the budget to fully animate a Tang/ed show in the same quality level as the movie if they wanted (and I’m not even asking for that, really).

It’s cheap. It looks cheap. It’s a jarring clash with the original movie and if you make a tie-in for a movie there should be no clash between the two.

–

Well, there you go. The five reasons why I personally think this show is crap.

I was really excited for a tie-in to this movie and I had really low expectation - like, literally I just wanted to see Eugene/Rapunzel be cute and Rapunzel bond with her parents, that was literally all I expected. And I only got half-assed attempts on both of those, while the focus got completely derailed by a newly added OC and a whacky, very forced plotline.

#Anonymous #so time to ramble #in the tags #to make sure #this doesn't pop up #in the show's tag #because let's not go there #I know there's people #who actually...#enjoy this #so like #...resist the urge to read it??#Disney #Tangled the Series #Tangled

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