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#screams into a pillow because she gives me bi panic
cloned-eyes · 1 year
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Concept for Casino Heist Phee
yes i'm a simp
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if you don't tell me I'll find out anyway
[Masterlist]
Warnings: none
Characters: Emily Prentiss, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Aaron Hotchner, Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, David Rossi
Relationships: Prentiss/Hotch, Prentiss & JJ
Genre: fluff
Summary: Prentiss and Hotch have been dating for eight months now, and the team is none the wiser. That changes when Prentiss and JJ share a room after a case, and Prentiss wears one of Hotch's shirts to bed.
Word Count: 2k
Prompt was #20 on this list by @whump-town.
Fic below the cut, or read on ao3.
__
"Okay, so," JJ begins, coming back from the receptionist counter to address the team. In her hands are three room cards. "They're booked and we're here on short notice. They've only got three rooms they can spare us. It was originally two, but one of the customers with a reservation cancelled last minute." She fans the cards out in front of her. "Who's sleeping where?"
"I'm not sleeping with Reid," Morgan chimes in almost immediately with a smile. Reid looks mock-offended, but doesn't protest.
"I'll share with the kid," Rossi says with a heavy sigh.
"I'm not that bad," Reid protests.
"Last time I shared a room with you, you kept me up until four am with rants about sci-fi movies. And don't think I've forgotten the Red Bull incident, either," Morgan says. He pats Rossi's shoulder in condolence. JJ hands the older agent the key card.
"Morgan, room with me," Hotch offers. Morgan nods, and JJ hands their boss one of the remaining key cards.
"That leaves you and me," Prentiss says, but while her voice is heavy, her eyes are anything but. They sparkle with quiet mirth.
"Thank god," JJ jokes. She loops her arm through her friend's.
They make their way to the elevator, all of them, then as they reach the third floor, the pairs go their separate ways. Reid and Rossi are already engaged in a deep conversation, neither of them noticing as Prentiss studies them. Hotch and Morgan look ready to pass out as they make their way over to their room. The two of them are roomed closest to the elevator, she notices.
"God I'm tired," Prentiss says as she and JJ enter their hotel room. She's tempted to faceplant straight onto the bed, but she's still dressed. The case is over and the plane is leaving at nine-thirty tomorrow, meaning she has a chance to get some proper sleep tonight. It'll be more comfortable to get out of the suit she's wearing.
"Only one bed," JJ remarks. Prentiss lifts an eyebrow.
"You handed out the key cards. Did you do that intentionally?" Her friend laughs.
"No. Truth be told, all three rooms are singles." Prentiss makes an amused face.
"Scandalous. And just imagine the boys' reactions." She lounges on one side of the bed, watching absent-mindedly as JJ methodically strips off her outer layers.
As if on cue, their phones ding with a text notification. Prentiss reaches for hers as JJ pulls out a clean shirt.
"Get changed," the blonde suggests, snagging the phone playfully from Prentiss. Prentiss rolls her eyes, also playfully, and gets up. She begins digging through her go-bag for any sleepwear she might have brought, and failing that, something clean and appealing to wear.
"Hotch is checking that everyone's alright and knows what time we're leaving," JJ reports, reading the text.
"That sounds like Hotch," Prentiss says, tossing an old shirt onto the bed. It's a little worn, but it brings her no small amount of comfort. She throws a pair of shorts after it. JJ frowns at the shirt, but doesn't comment.
Prentiss pulls them both on and climbs into bed beside her friend. "JJ. Get under the blankets."
"Sorry," JJ says automatically, still staring at Prentiss' phone. She turns off the lights and gets under the blankets automatically as well, then hands Prentiss her phone back.
"Who's your boyfriend?" Prentiss freezes, then realises that JJ had looked at who she had sent texts to recently. One of the conversations was simply titled '<3'. "Or girlfriend," JJ continues. "You know I don't care that you're bi, beyond supporting you unconditionally." She props herself up on one elbow, smirking as she looks down at Prentiss. "So. Who is it?"
Prentiss clicks off her phone. "None of your business," she says, the words coming out like she's trying too hard for casual. JJ pokes her shoulder.
"If you don't tell me, I'll find out anyway," she teases warningly. Prentiss smirks at her.
"Good luck." And with that, Prentiss rolls herself in her share of the blankets, facing towards JJ as she turns her phone on again. This way, the screen is angled away from her friend. JJ rolls her eyes, but she still looks amused.
"I see how it is," she says, and rearranges her pillow until she's content. She lies on her back and closes her eyes. Prentiss sends off a text to the partner JJ had just asked about.
Emily: JJ's getting suspicious. She saw I had our private messages labeled with a heart.
Aaron: Morgan has some questions as well.
Emily: Chocolate thunder wants to know who you're texting when you should be sleeping?
Aaron: You don't have a healthy sleep schedule either. I told him it was a friend.
Emily: Did he believe you?
Aaron: Yes, but he suspects it's something more. I've appeased him for now.
Emily: I know we've discussed this before, but we should tell the team soon. It's been over eight months.
Aaron: I agree. If we keep this from them much longer, they'll lose trust in us.
Emily: That, and I hate keeping this kind of secret from my best friend.
"Go to sleep, Emily," JJ mumbles, one arm tossed over her eyes. "It's bedtime."
"In a minute."
"Your mystery person can wait." Prentiss glances at her.
"He's my boyfriend." JJ moves her arm and cracks an eye open to look at her.
Aaron: What, that you're dating your boss?
Emily: That I'm dating at all. Speaking of which, I just told her I have a boyfriend.
Aaron: How'd she react?
"Since when?" JJ asks, sounding a bit more awake. "And why didn't you tell me an' Penelope on girls' night or somethin'? We're the people who hype you up for dates."
"We uh, we decided it was best not to say anything," Prentiss says, trying to keep her composure.
Emily: Fine. She wishes I'd told her and Garcia I was seeing someone.
JJ gives her a long, drawn-out, suspicious hum, then turns onto her other side and goes back to sleep. Prentiss is left staring at her friend's back.
Emily: How's Derek doing?
Aaron: He's asleep. Like we should be.
Emily: Sleep is too mainstream for me.
Aaron: ?
Emily: Don't worry about it babe.
Aaron: Riiiight. Goodnight.
Emily: Goodnight, love you.
Aaron: Love you too, Emily.
Prentiss clicks off her phone and sets it aside, then moulds herself around JJ's sleeping form. Her friend presses back against her a little, and Prentiss wraps an arm around the blonde.
She lies awake for a long time, head still buzzing from the case. She compartmentalizes well, but it still sometimes takes her time to wind down. This case wasn't particularly bloody or long, but it did involve an abnormal amount of guesswork and haste, because the unsub was moving from city to city, state to state, then killing and moving on again within a matter of hours. The team's home base had become their SUVs as they chased.
Luckily, the victim count was low, all things considered. But it had been one hell of a few days.
Around one in the morning, the rain starts. It taps familiar patterns against the glass, and she's finally able to doze off as the noise drowns out her thoughts.
*
JJ's alarm goes off, and Prentiss wants to strangle her. The blonde shuts off the noise before it gets to be too unbearable, but by then, Prentiss is already awake. JJ, as usual, is awake before her and is already stirring a cup of hotel coffee, giving it a disappointed look.
"Is it that bad?" Prentiss asks from where she's lying in the bed, blankets ending at her ribcage. JJ just shakes her head slowly.
"It's awful, and not in the good way. Shitty police coffee is one thing, shitty hotel coffee is another." She takes a sip regardless. "Also, we're leaving in half an hour, so you might want to get up." Prentiss groans, but drags herself out of bed. JJ gladly hands her a cup of the hotel coffee when she approaches, then smooths Prentiss' hair out of her face where it had tangled in the night.
Prentiss takes a sip, and makes a face. "Uch. You weren't kidding." JJ laughs a little. They drink in silence, JJ studying her more intensely than usual. Prentiss is about to ask her what's going on when JJ's eyes widen in realisation.
"That's Hotch's shirt," she says, pointing at what Prentiss is wearing with her free hand. Prentiss looks down at her shirt in a mild panic.
It is, in fact, one of Hotch's old shirts that she's wearing. She had swiped it from him, along with a sweatshirt, when they started dating. It's old and faded, but very clearly Hotch, and it brings her comfort to wear it.
Unfortunately, Hotch used to wear the shirt before she asked him out. Around the team, sometimes. Which means JJ knows it.
"No way," the blonde says. She sets her coffee aside, and Prentiss is quick to do the same. "Don't tell me you're dating Hotch."
"Um-"
"Oh my god, you are." An incredulous laugh escapes JJ's throat. She pressed her hands to her mouth in disbelief. Prentiss examines her reaction, but nothing screams hostile. Surprised, a little offended that she wasn't told, sure, but nothing hostile. Mostly surprised. "Wow."
JJ grabs Prentiss' wrist and pulls her to sit on the bed, grinning. "So, what's he like outside of work?" Prentiss raises her eyebrows.
"You mean, in- in private?" JJ makes a 'keep talking' gesture. Prentiss laughs a little. "I'm not telling you what he's like in bed."
"So you've slept together?"
"We have," she confirms. "We've been together eight months now."
"When were you going to tell the rest of us?" Prentiss shrugs.
"I don't know," she answers honestly. "We were planning on doing it soon, but an opportune moment just never came up." JJ grips her hand.
"Em," she says softly. Prentiss looks at her. "Please know I'm happy for you."
*
"We need to tell them," Prentiss says to Hotch as soon as they have a moment alone. The rest of the team has disappeared down to the lobby, and the two of them have a few minutes before their teammates grow suspicious. She and Hotch are standing outside the door to her room. "JJ already pieced it together."
"Will she tell the others?"
"I don't think so. I think she knows it's our secret to tell, and I told her that we'd been planning to reveal it soon." Hotch nods. They're both dressed formally again, in what attire they had worn yesterday for the flight home.
One of Hotch's hands comes up to rest on her jaw. Leaning into his kiss is easier than breathing. Both of them are loathe to separate.
"They'll be waiting for us," Hotch murmurs as she trails kisses along his jaw, pausing to nip the very edge of it before continuing. "Prentiss."
"I know," she says against his skin. She slows, ending with another kiss to his lips.
Hotch's hand grips hers as they walk to the elevators, throwing caution into the wind as they talk, planning together what to say and when to say it.
*
On the flight back to DC, everyone is awake. It's unusual for them to have an opportunity for a full night's rest the night before. Usually, they fly home in the evening. It means that when Hotch stands up, everyone looks over.
"Prentiss and I have an announcement," he begins. JJ breaks into a grin, knowing what's coming. Rossi looks like he's hiding a smile as well. Reid and Morgan just look confused.
"We uh, we meant to tell you guys before," Prentiss says, continuing where Hotch left off. "We're dating." A second of silence. Then:
"Congratulations!"
"I'm so happy for you guys!"
"Reid owes me five bucks," Morgan says with a grin. Reid groans good-naturedly, then looks at Prentiss and Hotch.
"If you guys had waited another four months, Morgan would've owed me ten," he says, and the team can't help but laugh with him.
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anarkhebringer · 4 years
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you have claude and dimitri dating in your modern au right
I do, yes. And since it was brought up, I will now proceed to give a novel’s worth of random info about them, just in case. If it isn’t what you came for, feel free to proceed onwards now, fair anon. And when I say novel length, I mean you’re gonna have to scroll A LOT. This is VERY LONG.
- They got together during their time at the Officers Academy, so they’ve been dating for over five years.
- Happily in love, they are. They were each other’s first for… pretty much everything. First real and serious relationship, first kiss (in Dimitri’s case), first time saying “I love you” to someone, first time uh… doing that… and they’ll be each other’s last for all of it, too.
- They both have a lot of darkness in them, but they’ve helped each other heal and grow stronger as time goes on. Dimitri won’t ever be as stable and functional in society as everyone else due to his traumas and what he experiences every day in his head, but with Claude’s guidance, he’s much better than he would’ve been if he had denied Claude and refused to allow him to bring Dimitri back to his house to clean him up and give him a place to stay on the day of their reunion after five years apart.
- A little extra on the end of that previous bit, that Claude had fully prepared to bring Dimitri back with him, which is why he had bought a house with four bedrooms way before they even reunited. He had planned it all along, whether Dimitri went with him as easily as expected or not. They made an oath to reunite and stay together until the end of their days once they saw each other again, and by every deity to ever exist was Claude going to make sure that was going to happen, no matter what stood in his way. Even if what stood in his way was Dimitri himself. But fortunately, Dimitri was finally able to be talked into coming back home with him, and he was making quick strides because he was finally with Claude again.
- They’ve had their rough spots, but they know each other well enough and love each other enough that there haven’t been any big fights between them yet. There have been some small back-and-forths, but they always cut it short to calm down before it escalates, so even that is super rare for them. Plus the four bedroom thing is for them both to have their own personal bedrooms alongside the shared one they have, so if they want some privacy, they can have it. That’s been a big help for them to keep their relationship going so steady and well for so long.
- Claude is the only one of the two to remember his (and everyone else’s) past lives, and thanks to the circumstances that allowed that to even be possible, he shares some of Dimitri’s traits. He’s like if past Claude and Dimitri’s personalities fused together and the product of that became a sentient being that took on Claude’s appearance. Dimitri has a few Claude traits too, but they’re very minor in comparison to how many traits Claude has of Dimitri. The most important traits Claude picked up in this life are the way he thinks, and what exactly the darkness in his head manifests as. He has constant violent intrusive thoughts, and is always haunted by hundreds upon hundreds of voices that scream out at him in hatred, regret, and agony. 
- Claude willingly took that part of the darkness on, since he promised Dimitri in their past life that he would help him shoulder any burdens that may dare to follow him into the next life. To this day he has no regrets of making that promise so long ago. He would sooner be engulfed in the hottest of hellfire than make Dimitri go through all of this by himself. He’s been in pain with no one to turn to for too long, and Claude has sworn to ease his pains in any way possible.
- They share so many likes, dislikes, loves, and hatreds that they feel the most open and comfortable talking with each other. Felix and Lukas are both runner-ups for Claude in terms of that, but Dimitri has always understood him the best. Partly because they technically share a mind, but that’s not always why. Far from. These two can lazily converse for hours on end with each other, talking about topics ranging from media they enjoy, to training techniques, to dancing, even to just how the clouds in the sky looked particularly pretty at around 3:35 in the afternoon that day. They both love hearing what the other has to say. And having so much alike, but different at the same time, gives countless topics of conversation for them.
- Both are bi, and Claude is also helping Dimitri out involving exploration of his identity further after he confessed to Claude that he doesn’t really fully feel like a man. After some questioning and talking through stuff, Dimitri revealed wishing to explore the genderfluid identity to see if it fits him, and so far he feels it fits him wonderfully. Whenever Dimitri asks Claude to address him in a feminine manner, it’s done with no hesitation or difficulty, and that always makes Dimitri feel really good and happy that he’s not judged or anything. Even when wishing to be addressed in a feminine manner, he still usually prefers he/him pronouns unless Claude mentions it in terms of “this is my girlfriend” or something along those lines. There are some times where Dimitri prefers she/her pronouns to be used, and that also is done with no hesitation or difficulty. Dimitri likes the nickname ‘Dori’ Claude picked out for him during the times of being addressed femininely, since the usual nickname Claude has for him is ‘Dimi’, which is also super short and to the point. Dimitri picked out a temporary full name of Diamond until he found something he liked better and decides to stick with, and Claude went along with that happily.
- Dimitri sometimes asks to join Claude when he heads out with Hilda and Dorothea to go shopping and stuff, and he always comes back with at least one cute clothing item to fill his wardrobe with to try and balance out the masculine clothes he owns with feminine stuff too. He has a few dresses, which made Claude stop and stare when they were worn the first time because he thought Dimitri looked so pretty in them.
- There was also one time that Dimitri wanted some… private wear, shall we say. He went to ask Claude about it of course, but being the flustered person he is over anything that could even be hinted at intimate when not in an intimate moment, he was stuttering and completely red in the face before he even started the sentence to try and ask.
“Claude, I was wanting to know if… i-if you would help me uh… find…”
“Find what, Dimi?”
“Find… hhhhhhh…”
“Take your time, Dimi.”
“F-FRILLY PRIVATE UNDERGARMENTS???”
“…You mean lingerie?”
“…Yes…”
Of course Dimitri got the lingerie he wanted, and he definitely enjoyed how much Claude enjoyed it, too. It was easy for Claude to find it, since the site he ordered his own off of has stuff for people with Dimitri’s type of body, too. And since there was a special kind that had pride flags as a color option, Claude got them both bi flag versions, and got himself a trans flag version, and Dimitri a genderfluid flag version too.
- They’re both super protective of each other and how others treat them in terms of their identities.
- They’re both the kind that can do both and rock it in terms of outfits. You’ll sometimes see them both in suits, other times you’ll see them in gowns. Just depends on what they both wanna do.
- Claude doesn’t want to have any surgeries, and isn’t on T either, and he’s fully supported. As a plus, he gets super happy when he cuddles Dimitri close during particularly hard times, and Dimitri situates to use his chest as a pillow since it’s big enough for that. It never fails to make Claude smile when he sees how much more comfortable and at peace Dimitri is when he has his head there, and is able to ground himself easier with the steady sound of Claude’s heartbeat.
- There was a single time Claude tried binding, and that was back at the Officer’s Academy. He and Dimitri had been in Claude’s room, and Dimitri had been letting his hands wander a bit as they were kissing, and one had snaked its way under Claude’s shirt. Needless to say Dimitri fell into a panic because he worried he pushed forward way too suddenly without asking because he’d never seen Claude wear a binder before, even though Claude was only thrown off by how worried it made Dimitri. After that, he never did it again and just went back to wearing bras all the time. He didn’t really like how binding felt anyway, so he planned to not do it again as is. That situation just made it more sure that he was gonna never do it again and to hurry up and take the damned thing off soon so he could put his bra back on.
- These two have no plans to get married, since there’s a lot of money, stress, and tradition tied in with all that, and those are things they want no part of if they don’t have to be. Plus they know they don’t have to be married for their love to be valid and legitimate. They can grow old together without being married, and won’t ever care about people thinking that marriage is what makes it what it is. Though if there were a way they could be privately married without all that involved without having to travel a lot to find someone who does weddings like that, they would have been married a long time ago.
This is where I’ll stop, so thank you if you read this far! Also…
Trans and genderfluid rights, like, freakin’ rule, y’all.
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jay-bee-me · 4 years
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Hey guys!
Here is my special for 100 followers! (in the meantime we reached 114!!! Thank you guys)
Like @emo-bi-mess requested it turned out to be a creepy pasta I wrote on my own. It contains topics like death, hallucinations and mental illness. If you don't want to read it that's absolutely okay and I don't want anyone to read it when you don't want to. I gonna tag it with as much warnings as I can...
But now starts the creepy pasta:
I sank into the mattress of my bed. I was to lazy to switch of the light and grabbed my phone to scroll through my Tumblr dash. Most things I've already seen. Suddenly it told me to upload my dash to see new posts and I did so. The first two or three posts were some I already rebloged from other blogs. Then there was one if these posts saying if you don't reblog this in the next 10 seconds you will be haunted forever. I rolled my eyes. I've seen hundreds of these posts already - 3 alone this day. I usually reblog most of because they're fun and sometimes they say positive things like that you will get creativity from them. I knew they're all made up but nonetheless I liked the idea of being blessed. But this time I was feeling to lazy to hit the reblog button. Alsoi didn't wanted to reblog the forth of these posts today to annoy my followers. So I scrolled past it and saw some comics and fanart. Some so inspiring I rebloged them. When I took a look at the clock in my smartphone it says it was already 1 am. I decides to sleep and put my phone away. I changed my clothes, brushed my teeth and switched the light off. In the dark I found the way to my bed and snuggled in the blankets. It was darker than I thought because clouds were covering the sky. I stared into the shadows and thought I saw something but it was just my mind playing me a trick I told me. I had to grin at my own childish fear. I sank into a deep dream less sleep.
I sat up. Shit. There were noises. I could swear I heard someone running upstairs. The light and fast steps on the wooden stairs. Something was at my floor. I cursed softly. My parents were on vacation. I only was here because they asked me to watch after the pets. Since I've grown up with them I agreed immediately. Shit. Someone must have broken in. But why hadn't Buddy barked? He usually barks as soon as someone steps on the path leading to the house. I wished he or one of the cats were with me. I wasn't sure if I should turn on the lights or not. A thief may would avoid this room or even left the house if I did so. But a murderer would know immediately where to go. I stared into the darkness to the place I assumed the door must be. I heard a loud rumble. What the hell was that? Who was that?! Cold sweat was running down my neck and back. I saw the outlines of the room more clear now. Adrenaline must be running through my veins. Another rumble. And then a painful animalistic scream. Buddy! I gasped. I looked around the room to find anything to defend myself and the pets. I saw no then in the shadows. Nothing but a movement. I froze. That can't be. It must be another trick. Induced by panic and the circumstances. But... But it wasn't. Something was moving in the shadows. Crawling. Feverish I searched for something to defense myself. But there was nothing. Then the Thing came outta the shadows. It was big and suddenly I saw it eyes. Red glooming balls. With pupils as dark as nothingness. It was staring at me. At my eyes. At my soul. It felt like it could see everything I've ever done and not done and am going to do. I was trembling. It came closer. Every step sounds like a door was slammed shut. I wasn't able to move. It groaned. When it opened its mouth it reveals several rows of teeth. Each the length of my forearm. It stopped 50cm in front of me and began to laugh. It was a horrific mocking laugh. The sort that gives one goosebumps and panic attacks. I smelled its odor of rotton flesh and death. Then it whispered four words: I will come back. The next moment it vanished.
I sat on my bed till dawn arose. Scared. Frightened. When the first sunbeams lightened up the room I stand up. When I opened the door I cried out. In front of me laid the corpse of what once must have been my dog. Its spine was ripped out and his throat cut open. His dead eyes were staring at me. I sobbed but I wasn't able to touch him. Trembling I went downstairs and was glad when I saw the two cats were still alive. I didn't knew what to do. My parents won't come back soon. I went to the kitchen sink and filled a glass with water and drank it. I wiped off the tears that were running down my cheeks but it didn't helped. My face stayed wet. I cued up on the sofa. The cats pressed their warm body against me. We stayed that way till dusk came.
I was back in my room. I haven't eaten all day and was surprised I got to went back into my room. Ignoring the corpse in front of it. The cats were with me. The last glimpse of the sun vanished and the sky turned from blue to black. I felt numb. I tried to close my eyes and fall asleep but nothing happened. I didn't had any tears left to cry and so laid silent in the dark. Then I sensed something. I couldn't identify it properly but it felt like something entered the room. Though I was pretty sure the door stood shut. My heard beats faster. I opened my eyes and tried figuring out what was it. I remembered the words the creature said last night:I will come back.
I stared in the shadows. And there was it again. A movement. The cats woke up and began to hiss at whatever the thing was. But to my surprise the thing came closer. The cats got in its way to me and their courage to protect me nearly broke my heart. Then the thing take a further step and- and snapped of their heads. I screamed. Their bodies collapsed. Then the creature turned at me and hissed: I will return once more.
With these words it vanished.
I noticed I was completely alone now in this house. Only now the thought crossed my mind I should have called my parents. But otherwise how should I explain them all of that on the phone? I decided to wait for their return tomorrow.
I somehow sensed I would be the next to be killed. So I considered to prepare myself. I took several knifes from the kitchen and put them under my pillow. Then I placed some knives at other places so I would have weapons if I had to flee in the house. Only then I thought about what would happen if would have just left the house. But no this wasn't an option. It would have followed me and harmed even more than it had already. I sensed it.
When I was ready I sat down on the sofa. Waiting for the night. Suddenly I asked myself why all of this happens to me. And I wondered it took me so long to ask this. I tried to remember what I did on that evening before the horror began. But I only remembered being on Tumblr. Then I remembered and the shock almost paralyzed me. There was that post. That post I avoided to reblog. That dumb little post that was meant to mean nothing. I heard myself cursing. But all of this couldnt just happen because one silly post? I didn't want this to be the truth. I took a look out of the window. The sun almost vanished. I ran upstairs, jumping over the corpses of the ones I was supposed to take care of. I hadn't slept since the first attack neither did I eat and I only drank a bit.
I was sitting on my bed. Waiting for the shadows to move. I waited and waited. My body went stiff and I waited. Nervously I glanced at my alarm clock. It said it was 5am. I waited more than 8 hours. But I continued staring in the dark. Then finally something moved. I grabbed one of the knives and as soon as the creature was close enough I stabbed it. But it only laughed. I stabbed it again and again. Then I felt it teeth closing around me and I screamed.
News report
On April 16th the Smiths returned from their trip. What they found when they arrived was horrible. Their daughter, that was supposed to watch for their pets, had some kind of hallucinations and stabbed down the pets and a neighbor that wanted to help. She is now in a clinic and gets medical care. The daughter claims that a creature from a Tumblr post were the one doing all her horrific deeds...
Thanks to everyone who read it! Sorry for spelling / grammar mistakes...
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absolutetrash247 · 4 years
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Title: Best Friends (Chapter Three)
Warnings: Swearing, Self loathing, being burnt
Florida Man and Australia Man get loaded into the game along with Karen, Ellis Dee, IforgotMyPants, Bab Ross, Tim Horton and Jimmy Mumps. Florida Man and Australia Man reunite with a bro hug, catching the attention of Gray.
"What the f*bruh*? Florida Man doesn't usually act that way." He looked at the mood of him and became the human equivalent of the lenny face. They liked each other. He laughed and said " More pining, damnit!"
Florida Man was happier than last time. His mood turned to mild embarrassment, thinking about what happened last time. How could I be so stupid?, he thought. Gray seemed to be done setting up, so he went inside and saw the rats, wondering how they were going to die this time.
Australia Man walked inside with a smile on his face. His best friend was way happier than before. This made him feel better because he thinks Florida Man's smile is adorable. Unfortunately, Australia Man was in the closet as bi, so he couldn't make a move.
He sees the rats as well and groans. Responsibility was not what he wanted at that moment. He knows they don't need feeding right now and headed toward his best friend that he secretly had a crush on. He flushed with embarrassment. This is when he decided he was coming out of the closet.
Little did he know that Florida Man was also about to come out of the closet. He went to go see Florida Man. He taps Florida Man's shoulder to get his attention. Florida Man recognized the person tapping his shoulder and asks "Did you need something, dude?"
"Do you mind if we talk in private? I have something to tell you." Australia Man says in reply.
Florida Man nods and takes them into the bedroom. "So, what did you want to tell me?"
Australia Man decides that it is now or never and blurted out "I'm Bisexual, please don't hate me!"
"I guess it would be the best time to say this." Florida Man says.
"Say what?" Australia Man asks in reply.
"I'm bi too. I was actually 'bout to come out to you." Florida Man gives a reassuring smile.
They pull one another into an embrace, smiling in relief. The ten minutes that passed had felt like hours to them as they sat down on the couch. The familiar pang of pining struck Florida Man harshly, but the pain of touch starvation faded away slowly. He felt awful, but better than the events of last game.
"Are you up for watching TV with me? I'm to tired to do anything else." Florida Man said, yawning with exhaustion. Australia Man nods and turns on the TV. He flips it to a comedy movie and got comfortable.
Around five hours go by, the two occasionally working out or swimming when he felt up to it. Australia Man falls asleep on the couch. Florida Man chuckles and gets a blanket. He places it over his friend and places a pillow under his head. He smiles as his friend looks more peaceful than he had in a while. He gets up knowing no one has fed the rats in quite a while.
He go's to the rats and feeds and cleans their cages. He then gets bit by one of the rats, cursing in pain as he held his hand. He goes back to Australia Man and plops on the floor. He falls asleep on the cold hard floor, being to tired to get to a bed.
The next morning Australia Man wakes up to Florida Man on the floor. He winches in sympathy and lays his blanket over Florida Man and puts a pillow under his head. He walks around to try and find the grill and succeeds. He then puts burgers on the grill.
Suddenly he feel a strong burning pain and realizes he is on fire. He screamed in panic and pain. He heard Gray laughing and groaned. He sees people are crowding him. Suddenly Florida Man runs out with a fire extinguisher, putting out the flames on and around his body.
The pain stops and everything was alright. He feels Florida Man hug him, glad that he is okay. Ellis Dee is asking him something, but he can't hear it. He takes a deep breath, feeling better than before.
"I'm okay now, mates" Australia Man says as everyone breaths a sigh of relief. Soon everything was back to normal. Australia Man looks inside the fridge and pulls out a hot dog from yesterday. He eats the hotdog, feeling better after eating.
Florida Man sat on the couch watching TV with Ellis Dee, just talking about life.
"Ellis, I think I have a problem." Florida Man says, casually sipping a Bud Light.
"What sort of problem?" Ellis Dee asks, thinking she will regret it.
"I have a crush on Australia Man... I d-don't think he likes me back. I'm too scared to ask him out." He says.
"I think he likes you back, to be completely honest." Ellis replies, sipping on a Starbucks coffee.
He nods and feels the slightest bit of courage flood his system. He goes to find Australia Man. He was going to ask him out, damnit! He finds Australia Man and says
"I-I uh... nevermind!" Florida Man ran off, anxiety pumping through his veins. He ran into the bathroom, fearful of rejection. He was normally brave, but feared rejection. He feels tears running down his face. God, he was such a fuck up!
Australia Man trailed behind his friend in concern. But, before he could reach his friend, Ellis placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Give him space and check on him in an hour." Ellis said, knowing why he ran. Australia Man nodded before sitting on the couch. He set an alarm for an hour later and goes to watch TV, not being able to focus on it due to concern for his anxiety ridden friend.
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creativestalkerrs · 5 years
Text
The Female Spider-Man; Part Six (Peter Parker x Reader)
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Summary; finally in Vancouver, Peter and Y/N prepare for their first fight to end it all, finding out something unexpected.
Warning; some FFH spoilers, swearing, mentions of sex, lowkey angst, brief nudity, some violence
Word Count; 2k
A/N; I made a post about this earlier but if I reply to your comments with the user emyisback-2, that’s me! I’m just a dumb bitch
Getting to their hotel room, George and Y/N shared one room and Shawn and Peter the other room. The rooms connected to each other so it was easy to access to break into their room. Happy, being the adult and done with everyone’s shit, was locked up in the room across from them. Since Tony knows almost everyone, the owner let everyone set up and hide out there until this ends.
Y/N and George laid on the beds, thinking about what’s been going on the past two days. It was nice to talk to just George and George only. Y/N laughed at George’s joke, jumping on the bed as if they were 13 again. They had time to kill before suiting up and going to the first attack. Y/N wishes this wouldn’t happen and that she could plan her next tour by now, inside of rising her life again for Mysterio. 
Y/N laid there, looking at the ceiling as George flipped throw the channels. Y/N turn her head to Geroge, lost in thought. “George?” She quested. George’s gaze still upon the TV. He gave her a mutter. “Do you think all of this is dumb? Do you think I’m dumb?” Y/N asked George’s gaze to Y/N.
“Why do you say that, Y/N?” He asked.
“That I got myself into this that I got you and fucking Shawn Mendes into this… I know how dangerous this could get. I know how many layers this could get… and… George,” Y/N took a deep breath. “I kissed Peter,” Y/N amitted, George’s eyebrows raised. “I mean… it was of his ex-girlfriend and he kissed me but I turned back to myself and... I really… really liked it,” Y/N amitted. “Is it dumb that I might be starting to have a crush on him? He’s like my other half almost,” Y/N’s mind went wild.
“Hey, I get it… have you seen the way he looks at you? Something tells me Peter Parker like Y/N Y/L/N,” George winks. Y/N face turned red. “Look at you blushing!”
“Shut up!” Y/N said throwing a pillow at him, George catching it. 
“Is he a good kisser?” George asked making kissing noises.
“George shut the hell up George… yes… amazing,” Y/N’s face burned up, hiding it in the other pillow.
“Y/N and Peter sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” George mocked.
“You love making me suffer, do you?” Y/N asked.
“My favorite hobby,” George grinned. Silence filled the room and George moved so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Do you… want to be with Peter?” George asked as Y/N looked at her, thinking about it. Did she deep down?
“I… I don’t know. Like deep down, I feel like he’s the only one to truly understand me deep down… but at the same time I still… I still might want to be with Henry,” Y/N laid out
“Henry?!” George exclaimed “He’s a douchebag! He brought that person who wants you dead to our party,” George said. Y/N rolled her eyes.
“George… you understand what I mean,” Y/N sighed. 
“He could be helping them,” George told her. That thought never crossed Y/N mind.
“Fuck…” Y/N groaned. “That never crossed my mind,” She admitted. “I was so caught up on Peter and Beck that… if that is the case, I will kill him myself no matter how good the sex is,” Y/N said, gripping the pillow. George moved swiftly to sit next to her, pulling her in.
“I understand… he’s a cunt anyway if that is the case,” George said making Y/N laughed.
“Thanks, Georgie… How the fuck are you still single?” Y/N asked, George, shrugging his shoulders.
“I’m just too nice,” He laughed.
“You know that’s just not true,” Y/N laughed. “Do you think Shawn in bi?” Y/N asked out of the blue.
“I’d hope so,” George laughed making Y/N laugh.
--
Everyone was in Peter and Shawn’s room, watching movies and eating snacks. They didn’t get any updates since they checked in so they all had some down time to hang together. 
After the conversation, Y/N and George had together, Y/N kept looking at Peter throughout the movie. George winked at Y/N, giving the sign to make a move on him, but she just ignored him. 
A knock on the door was heard as Peter got up and answered it, it was Happy. Shawn paused the movie as everyone sat up and looked at Happy. “Okay… it’s show time. The first attack will be at Harbour Green Park in an hour… Everyone get ready,” Happy said almost in a panic.
“Oh shit… that soon? Okay,” Y/N said getting up. “Are you ready to fight together, Peter?” Y/N asked.
“So ready… we’re going to kick ass,” Peter smiled. Y/N’s heart fluttered. Holy shit. That smile. Y/N pushed it because there wasn’t any time to crush on Peter.
“Okay, suit up, get ready. Fucking show time,” Y/N said rushing to her room, George behind him. He shut the door.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” George said exited, but panic. Y/N stripping down to nothing and grabbing her suit. Y/N tighten her suit and adjust everything. She grabbed the laser guns and put them on her belt as she pulled down her mask. 
“How do I look?” Y/N asked.
“Hot like always… If Peter can’t hide his boner I swear,” George laughed getting his shit together.
“Oh shut up…” Y/N said “There is no time to get horny,” Y/N said checking her webs and sprayed one at George.
“There is always a good time to get horny,” George laughed
“Not at your grandma’s funeral,” Y/N laughed.
“Whoa! That’s dark,” George laughed. “Okay… let's go,”
“Let’s kick some fucking ass,”
--
Shawn and Happy stayed at the room, making it a control room and so they can speak to Y/N and Peter. George would stay up with them until something would happen. Peter and Y/N swang to Harbour Green Park. Y/N barely swang places, she fell in love with it all over again. Peter did offer to hold her, but she declined. 
As they landed and meet to the exact area were Happy said it would all go down, Peter and Y/N looked around. “Do you see anything?” Peter asked. 
“Nothing… Fuck… if my ex-boyfriend ends up being apart of this I will kill him myself,” Y/N stated.
“Henry?”
“Yes, Henry. Fucking asshole better not be apart of this,” Y/N declared. The park was silence, not a soul roamed around. It was odd because this park was usually busy. “Is it just me or is this park quite? Too quiet?” Y/N asked looking around once more.
“I agree… something is off,” Peter almost whispered. 
“You idiots actually came Yeva knew what she was doing,” One man came up.
“Yeva?” Y/N asked moving forward to the man.
“Oh… I mean Trish,” He laughed. Y/N remembered his face. He was the other man that was with Trish or Yeva. “You really think you can fight me?” He asked.
“I mean yea there is only one of you and two of us,” Peter stated with almost a chuckle.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” He told them as then both Y/N and Peter were swarmed with an army. Guns pointed at them.
“Holy fuck,” Y/N said, he hands up.
“Stay calm… Follow my lead,” Peter said with a panic in his voice. Peter grabbed Y/N by her side as he shot a web on a light post and swang them out of the circle, they began to open fire on themselves, making their army have way fewer people. Y/N shot her webs at them, causing some of the men to burn in pain. Although Peter had a strict ‘no killing’ rule, it was obvious Y/N was out for blood.
On her hip, she took out the laser gun. Time felt slow but she made a quick diction to aim at the main leader of this fight before he knocked it out of her hand. Peter tried to help Y/N but she was using her webs over and over again to get some sort of damage, but it seemed to not work. Peter was working on eliminating the people with guns as Y/N was helping him as well as getting this guy down.
“What do you know?” Y/N screamed, shotting another web at him. That seemed to work as then the man fell to the ground. Y/N used her web to grab the gun as she pointed it at him. “Let me ask you again, what do you know?” She screamed. The man seemed to be in fear.
“It’s all Yeva, I swear! She’s the one who wanted you dead! Wanted you and Peter dead! She was working with Quinton Beck, that’s all I can say,” He screamed. 
“Where is she?” Y/N asked.
“I can’t tell you that… Yeva will kill me,” He said with panic.
“Your life will end anyway. If you don’t tell me now, you will die at this park… So tell me where is she?” Y/N threaten, placing the gun to his forehead.
“Somewhere in Chinatown! I swear that’s all I know… please!” He bagged. Y/N took the laser gun off of his forehead.
“If you’re lying, I’ll kill you myself,” Y/N spat at him. 
Before any more threats could come out of Y/N’s mouth, a big explosion was heard. The guy ran off as Y/N saw Peter on the floor. Her heart stopped. Y/N dropped the gun and ran to Peter.
“Peter!” She screamed.
“I’m. Fine,” He said, blood seeping throw his mask. Y/N took it off.
“No, you’re not… Peter, you’re severely bleeding,” Y/N said, placing her gloved hand on the wound.
“I think that’s the last of them…. What did the other guy say?” Peter asked, his hand on his abdomen, Y/N still placing pressure on the wound.
“Yeva is in Chinatown but I have no idea if that’s try… Shit Peter, let’s get you back to the hotel room,”
--
Y/N was patching up Peter in her hotel room, Y/N explained what the guy, who names to turn out to be Oleh, a Ukrainian college student. Everyone was held up in the control room, giving Y/N and Peter space.
“Ouch!” Peter cried out as Y/N placed the cotton ball on the wound. He was cut up pretty badly.
“Don’t be a baby… just stop moving,” Y/N directed. Y/N continue to patch Peter up as his gaze was heavy on her. Y/N taking a quick look at his eyes. Brown, she noticed. “Is there something you want to say, Peter?” Y/N asked, taking the cotton ball and putting a band-aid where the wound was.
“Is it true?” He asked Y/N snunched up her noise.
“That Yeva is in Chinatown? Because we’re still working on that,” Y/N said, confused on what Peter actually told her.
“No… I mean… I heard what you were saying to George earlier… do you… like me?” Peter asked awkwardly.
“You’re an ease dropper… God Peter! I don’t know… it’s been crazy… something tells me I do, but all of this… I can’t point it out. Peter, you’re cute, and funny and so god damn smart. We live two different lives, yet live the exact same one,” Y/N tried to explain, her cheeks on fire.
“To be fair… I think you’re cute and funny and smart too,” Peter smiled. “I… like you as well,” Peter whispered.
“You… you do?” Y/N asked, putting the box of band-aids down next to him. 
“Yea… something tells me that we’re made for each other,”
“Is that our spidey tingle?” Y/N asked.
“It’s more than that, Y/N,” Peter laughed.
“When this all blows over, let's go out on a date,” Y/N smiled.
“I’d like that… for now, let’s fight these bitches,” Peter shouted.
“You need to hang out with me less,” Y/N laughed.
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thequeeryclass · 6 years
Text
“Fake (v/n/adj) – not genuine, counterfeit”
“Girl, you ghetto as fuck.” she laughed. I had told her I scrub the stains from dirty pants when I forget to wash them for work. I told her I don’t have the energy to remember every time. She tells me that it’s ghetto. Her cheeks were round and proud when she says it. Her laugh carries over centuries and oceans back to a land she don’t know. Her teeth are big and bright. Her voice is power. It surrounds me, pulls me close. She sees me. Not more or less. Just me. She tells me I am her. I tell her I grew up that way. She said I’m of her kind, but my mother’s womb is white. She knows that I understand. I understand that I don’t know. I pretend that I can. Ghetto.
 The colored women hidden in the kitchen accepted me in fashion I had been raised to run from. One parents had worked against with every fiber of their ability. Family was never whole because twelve hour shifts at the plant don’t sleep. Non-smoking rooms at the motel with cigarette burns in the sheets. Skip breakfast because Mama’s already left for work. Giving up makes the little you get look like more. If we throw out the couch, we can put the Christmas tree there. Sweets are cheaper than celery. Soda is better than what comes from the faucet. New means used. Used means it was free. I belong to those women in the kitchen. Poor.   
                                                                                                                                 The leaves are the first thing you notice. When your friend in the seventh grade gives you her “magic picture boxes” and you realize that you never knew that you never knew what it was like to see the world. Color, edges, leaves. No one ever tells you normal people can see each individual leaf on a tree. That’s not how they draw them. Green puffy clouds painted over quick, swift strokes of grass. No one tells you there’s a secret you don’t know about the world. And that is that it’s made up of hard lines and different shades and individual pieces. Your world is not their world. You are not allowed into their world. Contacts are a good disguise. Eyes are not all shaped the same. Glasses are cheaper anyway. Glasses are like a big yellow vest that says you don’t belong. They tell everyone you are a spy in their land of edges and individuals. They scream and yell and they reach out to take away your windows into their world. They don’t want to share. They won’t share. You do not belong. Outside.
 I hear his voice in her screams. I hear my pain in her eyes. It’s her not me. It’s me not him. His anger that lashed out. His highs and his lows clashing together and the pressure formed a twister that took out the town hall during Gustav. His temper floods the wards and bleeds out into schools of dead pets because bullets got bored. Dreams and lifetimes float by on a slick of black oil down into the gulf because they were never anything more than garbage anyway. The rain never stops pouring as mamas drop their babies off bridges because it’s easier than his voice that keeps going when the doors are locked. His voice hits the doors and halls and bounces and shakes till the walls come down like levees because he just needs to relieve the pressure. Apologies won’t erase water marks on walls but I paint over anyway because this is my home too. Six feet underwater, I forgive again. Rotting.
 She whispers that it is all my fault. It’s my fault she’s unhappy. It’s my fault that she’s still alive. She says I have to do better. She says she’d kill herself if I ever left. I can’t go. I can’t stay. I can’t be me. I can’t be her. I can’t be her exes and I can’t be her future. I try anyway. I give her a ring because she doesn’t believe that I love her. She wears it until she loses it. I should be ashamed for not noticing it’s gone. All I notice anymore is how the insides of my eyelids dance when I lay in bed holding her. Rainbows perform a waltz while she scrolls through her phone at three in the morning. Flashes of light tiptoe around the questions on my tests. Red circles during History. Green triangles at lunch. Blue worms wiggle across her face. She wants to sleep with other people. Purple butterflies fade away She never wants to lose me. Blind.
 I saw the headlights before it happened. Didn’t know what they meant. Didn’t realize how close they were. She was next to me. Driving. For a nanosecond of eternity, a halo of light caught the strands of blonde hair on her head. “You’re a tease” she said. “You get me all riled up and then don’t wanna go all the way. It’s not fair.” She was right. I liked kissing. I didn’t like sex. She liked sex. She liked sex more than she liked any of us, past or present. After the first hit, I remember walking myself through the following seconds. I told myself I had been in a car accident. My seatbelt caught me. Second collision is inevitable. Brace for impact. The last thing I saw was my hands go up to defend myself. “I just don’t feel like you love me if you won’t have sex with me.” Those were my words she was taking and recycling as her own. Except, I didn’t want sex. What I had asked for was intimacy. Physical touch. She had pulled away. Said that she didn’t like to be touched. I asked her how we were supposed to have sex without touching. She stopped talking to me for three days. I don’t remember the second hit as much as the first. When the car hit us, I remember the way the frame of the car shuddered. I remember seeing us headed towards the streetlight. I remember closing my eyes. I remember the airbags never caught me. My seatbelt did. At forty miles an hour. Caught me to a dead stop when the hood wrapped around the pole like it was parting the sea. I remember she left me. Jumped right out the car in a panic. “I don’t think I’m ready to be in a relationship right now. I’ll always love you. I can’t be with you right now.” Can you get out? The voice was loud, and concerned, Ma’am, can you get out of the vehicle? Get out. Get out. Get out. When I pried the door open, the world was cold and blurry and I was terrified that I had a head injury. I was terrified until I realized my glasses had come off in the crash. I took them off the carpeted floor and laid out on the sidewalk, listening as the sirens drew closer. I would not die here. Alone.
 I remember many insignificant things across the dimensions of time and space. I do not remember when I first slept a full night in my own bed again. I do not remember when I stopped needing to check the locks on my doors twelve times a night. I do not remember when I was first able to convince myself that there was no one there on the other side of my closed eyelids in the dark. I do remember hearing the door open in the dark. Whispered drunken giggles of her and him floated around the room. I remember her climbing into her own bed. I remember the feeling of that hand, confidently grasping my leg just above the knee, separated only by my comforter. It’s something I could never forget. I remember I was wearing men’s cartoon pajama pants and an old t-shirt from Sedona, Arizona. I remember pulling away, sure that it was a mistake. I remember the hand gripped tighter, holding it in place. I remember it was strong. Stronger than me. I remember sitting up, and telling the hand to go away. I don’t remember what it muttered. It had a shaved head and broad shoulders. Even in the wild panic of the dark, I never forgot that. I remember the second hand joined the first. Locked me in place. I remember telling it to go away or else. It spoke. It refused. I remember reaching out desperately. Pushing. It didn’t move. Both hands pushed. Hard. It stumbled. The hands left, swaying in open air. They found the floor. They stayed there. I remember watching until sunlight broke through the window. I remember being unable to move because I wasn’t strong enough. I remember grabbing my clothes and running and changing in a public bathroom because I was afraid of the one in my dorm. The one where he was. I remember it in my dreams. I remember it on my pillow. In the dark. I remember it, and I let him go. Damaged.
 Reading is slow. It’s time consuming. Soul consuming. Reading is an existence. I have the patience for it. I don’t have the time. I could write five chapters in the time I read one. I do not. But I could. Reading is traveling. Across time and space and life itself. It’s addicting. I miss it. People suck their teeth. It’s such a good book. I trust it is. The movies are good. The books are probably better. They grew up reading it. I grew up reading everything else. All the worthless stories. Ones that didn’t get a seven part movie deal. Ones no one read. Because they weren’t important. Harry Potter is important. It’s a lifestyle. Harry Potter is queer culture. Reading is hard for me. Words and letters jump around like toddlers on a playground. Sometimes they make sense. Sometimes, if you think about it from the toddler’s point of view, it makes sense. Sometimes it’s incomprehensible and I have to step away for a while. Focus bounces like a rubber ball. It goes and it comes back. One page is five thousand irrelevant thought trains. Fifty pages is a day gone. I don’t have so many days as I have collections of fifty pages. Reading is lonely. Reading out loud is not so much. No one wants to listen to someone read. Not an entire book. Not when there are books that they could read themselves. Reading is hard. For a mind that is never calm. Never quiet. Reading is a silent classroom. Sometimes, you want to scream to let the loud out. Reading isn’t exertion. It’s consumption. They don’t understand why I won’t borrow the books. They don’t understand. Isolated.
How can he be safety? How can he feel like home? How could I be so proud of being a lesbian and then let this happen? How can I be gay and hetero without being bi or pan? How can I allow myself to believe that this means anything? How can I possibly know what love is? How can love be anything more than the abuse I have always deserved? How can I deserve abuse if I did nothing to deserve it? How can he love me back? How can he say that he does and then date her? How can I fix myself for him? How can I even consider changing who I am for him? How can everyone see it but him? How can I love a man as a woman and still be queer? How can I betray my people, my community this way? How do I know I love him for more than kindness? How can one person feel like the whole world? Confused. ow How
 Drink every time you feel like you don’t belong. When you’re standing at a party, surrounded by the beautiful people. Thin, lithe, straight. Certain in their own bodies pressed up against each other. Take a shot every time someone tells you that you don’t belong. When they shake their heads no before you even finish the question. Picking apart the molecules of difference and blowing them up on a screen for the world to see. Shaming you for insecurity afterward.  Sip when you thought you did belong, but you find out you were wrong. You find out that your differences are what you all had in common, but you’re too different. They are different, normal. You are different, atypical. It’s got to be your fault. No one else is like that. You must be defective. If you are outed by someone else, finish your drink. At dinner with her parents. At the diner with your family. By “accident” on social media. Drink until none of it matters. Imposter.
 “Keep you in the dark, You know they all pretend” – Foo Fighters in “The Pretender”. Ghetto. Poor. Outside. Rotting. Blind. Alone. Damaged. Isolated. Confused. Imposter. To not belong. To be a summation of all that you are. To know that you belong where nobody else belongs. The warmth in June when the fireflies begin to flicker. The second star in the night sky. The cold darkness of the ocean. The red clay of the Grand Canyon.  Faded road markers and twisted trees. The first leaf to fall in autumn. To exist. To not belong. To be ostracized. To fade into the background. To burn holes into the earth like the sun. To redefine perfection. To fall from grace and make your own. To sink into the sunlight laid across the grass and grow old with someone in an afternoon. To live just to breathe and to just keep breathing. To be ghetto, poor, outside, rotten, disabled, blind, alone, broken, isolated. To not understand. To realize that the only imposters are your own doubts and the ones that gave those doubts to you. To be everything you are. To be.
  Queer.
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sebspocketsquare · 7 years
Text
Little Do You Know 2
Pairing: bi!TJ Hammond x fem!Reader
Warnings: bi!TJ, language, fluff, mentions of abuse, angst.
A/N: Here’s the second part to one of my favorites from my old masterlist. Enjoy!
“I have to go.” As you moved out of his hold, one of the tears you’d been harboring slipping out, falling down your cheek as you turned towards the exit again. “Wait, please.. Don’t.” He pleaded, following you, gripping your hand to keep you from leaving when you got too close to the door. You couldn’t bring yourself to even look at him again. Your heart ached; you were conflicted. Here was the man who you were destined to be with, right in front of you, with bright, beautiful eyes and plump, kissable lips.. He was gorgeous, to say the least, but as he once put it, you could never be what he needed. “I..” He started to speak and you closed your eyes, coming close enough that his chest was pressed against your back. “I’m sorry.” He finally managed to choke out, and the words made your eyes snap open. You spun around on your heels, your eyes narrowing as you poked a finger into his chest. “You’re sorry? You purposely say and do things to hurt me, a woman you’ve never even met, for 5 years, and you’re sorry?” You hissed, your eyes filling with more tears. “I.. I..” He paused as his eyes glazed over, too, running a hand through his hair. “Do you have any idea what that was like for me?” You asked him, tearing your hand out of his. He looked down at his empty hand, sucking his lip between his teeth as he listened to you speak. “Do you know how much it hurt to see you do those things to yourself? To hear your every thought, but not be able to do anything to stop you?” Your hands were shaking, now, and you wrapped your arms around yourself to try and calm down. “When you..” You paused, licking your lips and sucking in a deep breath. “Do you know how scared I was when I thought you died..?” You whispered, and his eyes snapped back up to your face. “You may not care about me, but I’ve spent the last 5 years caring about you.” You wanted nothing more than to run out of the building, go home, and forget that any of this had ever happened.. but the heartbroken look on his face kept you from moving. “Please.. Can we talk about this..? Not here.” His voice was soft, timid even, as he reached his hand out to touch your elbow lightly. “Please.” He breathed, his eyes meeting yours again. You found yourself unable to tell him no. “Where do you want to go?” You asked, casting your eyes down to where his hand was touching your skin. You suddenly felt small in his presence; exposed. He squeezed your elbow again as someone passed behind him, forcing him to press closer to you. “Anywhere. We could go to my apartment, its just a few blocks from here..” He replied, chewing the inside of his cheek as he waited for your answer. “Your dad wont be there, will he?” You tried to joke, smiling softly. You earned a small laugh from him and the sound made your heart soar. “No.. Don’t worry, I won’t let him touch you again.”
The next thing you knew, you were leaving, your arm linked through TJ’s as he led you outside. The camera flashes and reporters screaming at him immediately made you feel anxious. He must have sensed it, because he unlinked his arm from yours, only to wrap it around your waist and pull you against his chest tightly. “Just keep your head down, it’s almost over.” He whispered against your ear and you nodded, letting him lead you into the car that he had waiting for you. When you were both seated and the car began to move, he smiled down at you timidly. “You’re gonna have to get used to that, you know.” You couldn’t stop the words from leaving your lips, “Why would I have to?” The smile fell from his face and he nodded slightly, his attention turning back to his hands. You felt guilty, of course, but you knew that your feelings and hesitation about the situation were justified. This man didn’t want you. He specifically told you he would never want you. The car ride to his apartment was full of silence as you both stared at your hands. Was this what it was going to be like the rest of the night? You hoped not. The car stopped outside of a huge building that looked more like a hotel than an apartment complex, and TJ climbed out before you, holding out his hand for you to steady yourself. You took it, noting how sweaty his palm seemed to be. Was he nervous? He smiled at the doorman as he led you inside and to an elevator, where he pressed the button for the 12th floor. “Top floor, huh?” You asked, looking up at him briefly. He nodded, flashing a toothy smile. “I like the view.” When the elevator finally reached the top of the building, your stomach was fluttering anxiously as you started to regret the decision to come here. ‘Good job, Y/N.. Going home with a man you barely know.’ You silently chastised yourself, blushing when you realized that TJ could hear every word. He smiled softly to himself as he pressed a key into the front door of his apartment, glancing down at you. “If it makes you feel any better, you really have known me for 5 years..” With that, he pushed the door open, letting you step in before him. Your lips parted in awe as you took in his apartment. It was huge, and the far side was nothing but windows. “This is beautiful, TJ..” You whispered, walking slowly to the windows and staring down at the brightly lit city before you. He followed, keeping his distance from you as he enjoyed the view with you, nodding. “Its what sold me on the apartment, really.” He told you softly and you felt yourself nod slowly. After a few moments, he spoke again. “Do you want a drink..?” You turned to look at him, only to catch him already staring at you. “Water, please. Thank you.” He flashed you a smile before he turned, walking towards the direction of his kitchen, you assumed. Once he was out of sight, you let out a shaky breath and brought your fingers up to your temples, rubbing softly. You already had a headache, and the tightness of the dress you were wearing didn’t help at all. ‘Why did I let Laura dress me? She’s definitely smaller than I am.’ “Are you uncomfortable?” TJ suddenly spoke from behind you, causing you to jump and put your hand over your heart. He chuckled at your reaction, holding out a glass of water for you. You took it, smiling nervously before you brought the glass to your lips. “You didn’t answer me..” He said softly after you had taken a few sips. “Oh, I’m fine, don’t worry.” You told him, setting the glass down on his coffee table. “I know you’re lying.” He replied with a small smirk, bringing his index finger up and tapping his temple. “You’re not just my voice of reason, you know.” You felt a blush creep its way onto your cheeks as you wrapped your arms around yourself. “This dress is just..” You paused, looking down at yourself. “Do you want one of my shirts and a pair of sweats or something..?” He asked, trying not to stare at you for too long. “That would be great actually. I promise I’ll give them back before I go.” He chuckled, turning and walking away from you, using his hand to motion for you to follow him. You did so, slowly, trying not to check him out as he walked ahead of you.
His bedroom was bigger than expected, and in the center of it was the largest bed you’d ever seen. He headed towards a closet, but you stayed put, looking at all of the little knickknacks he had sitting around. “Do you live alone?” You asked, noticing that the pillows on both sides of the bed looked like they had been recently slept on. He turned to look at you, clothes in hand as he raised his eyebrow. “Sorry, that was rude. Its none of my business.” You said quickly as he approached. He let out another small chuckle as he held the clothes out to you. “It’s fine. Yes, I live alone.” You took the pile from him, forcing a small smile. “Bathroom?” You whispered, and he pointed over his shoulder. “You can use that one. I’ll wait here for you.” You nodded quickly before practically sprinting into the other room, locking the door behind you. When you were finally alone, you let out another shaky breath, looking at yourself in the large mirror above his sink. “Get your shit together, Y/N. This is no time to have a panic attack.” You whispered to yourself, taking a moment to steady your breathing before you reached around for the zipper of your dress. You silently cursed yourself when you realized that it was snagged. “Fuck.” You kept tugging at it, your lower lip trembling when it still wouldn’t budge. ‘Calm down, don’t freak out.. Its just a zipper.’ You tried telling yourself, jumping when you heard a light knock at the door. “Are you okay?” TJ’s muffled voice sounded and you let out a small sigh. “I’m.. I’m fine. The zipper is stuck.” You called, giving it one more good tug. “Do you..” He paused, clearing his throat. “I can help you, if you want.” His voice shook nervously and it took you a moment before you reacted, walking over to the door and unlocking it. Once you took a few steps back, the knob turned slowly and he peeked his head inside. “Is that a yes?” He wondered, and you nodded, chewing on your lip. He entered the bathroom, shutting the door softly behind him before he wiped his hands on his slacks, taking steps towards you. “Turn around.” He commanded softly and you followed instruction, flinching slightly when his hands touched the zipper. “Did you just flinch?” He asked and you felt your blush return. “I’m not going to hurt you, you know.” He told you, tugging on the zipper a few times. “I.. I can’t help it. I’m sorry..” You whispered, letting out a sigh of relief when the zipper finally started to go down further. His fingertips grazed over your spine, coaxing a small shiver from you. ‘So much softer than I imagined..’ His voice rang in your mind and you let out a shaky sigh. “T-Thank you.. I think I’ve got it from here. I’ll only be a minute.” You said, keeping your back to him. He didn’t say anything else before turning and exiting the bathroom.
When you were finally changed, you draped the dress over his sink before going back into his bedroom. He was sitting on his bed, staring at his hands in his lap. “Are you okay?” You asked softly as you approached and he laughed sadly, not looking up at you. “I really fucked up, didn’t I..?” You bit your lip, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him as you tucked your hair behind your ear. “TJ..” You started, but he just shook his head, his lip trembling. “I-I’m so fucking sorry.. I.. I guess you weren’t really.. real to me until I saw you, and I.. All those things you said to me.. I didn’t realize I was hurting you at the time..” You felt your heart clench when you realized that he was crying. “TJ.. It.. It’s okay..” You tried to soothe him, but he looked up at you, his eyes narrowed. “Don’t lie to me, Y/N. I know what I did wasn’t okay. I made you think I hated you.” You swallowed, twiddling your thumbs in your lap. “I.. I understand why you did what you did..” You said softly and he scoffed. “TJ.. I.. I’m not.. your type.” You all but whispered, feeling your cheeks sting with embarrassment. “If you aren’t my type, then why are you able to hear my thoughts?” He asked you, reaching his hand over and resting it on your knee lightly. You only flinched a little at the contact, and he took that as an okay to apply more pressure, squeezing a bit. “I.. I don’t know.. I know you’re unhappy that I’m a woman, and believe me, I didn’t plan for this to happen, but..” You paused, looking up and meeting his eyes. “I’ve spent so much time worrying about you, trying to talk you down from doing terrible things, being the calming voice in your head when you thought you were close to breaking.. I..” You stopped again, shaking your head and biting your lip. “God, do I wish I was enough for you.” He seemed to be at a loss for words at your statement, his eyes searching yours for a few moments while he chewed on his lip. You took that time as an opportunity to look him over. His eyes were now rimmed red from crying, but it only made the blue in his eyes all the more beautiful. His hair was a complete wreck, now, probably from running his hands through it so much, and he’d chewed his lip raw.. but he was still breathtaking. You noticed that he was still wearing his tux from earlier and smiled softly. “You should change. I doubt this is very comfortable.” You whispered, reaching your hand up to tug on his tie. “And I know how much you hate ties.” He looked down at where your hand was pulling on the fabric, smiling to himself. “I’ll wait in the living room, give you some privacy.” You offered, standing up slowly and straightening out the large shirt he’d given you, but before you could walk away, his hand grasped yours. “Please.. stay.” You looked back down at him, squeezing his hand gently before nodding. “Okay.”
Another small smile graced his face when you sat back down, and he stood up, tugging at the tie until it came loose. “Tell me something.” He spoke, turning his back to you as he slipped off his jacket and began to unbutton his shirt. You made a small noise as you crossed your legs underneath you, staring down at his comforter instead of him. “Did you know that I would be there tonight..? Is that why you came?” He wondered and you could hear the sound of his belt unbuckling. “No.. I-I had no idea, until..” You paused, letting out a small breath and closing your eyes when you heard his slacks hit the floor. “Until when?” He prodded, and you could hear him shuffling around a bit. “When you were introducing your mother.. I-I heard your voice and.. It was like.. I forgot how to breathe.” The shuffling noise stopped abruptly, so you continued. “Nothing has ever had that effect on me.. you sounded so much like home, I..” You stopped again, opening your eyes and sighing. “I’m sorry.. I know it probably wasn’t the same for you.” Suddenly, he was kneeling in front of you, his hands on your thighs as he looked up to meet your eyes. “Do you know what I thought, when I realized that the man you didn’t want touching you was my father? When I saw you for the first time?” He whispered, his eyes glistening. You couldn’t form words so you nodded, wringing your fingers together in your lap. He brought one of his hands up to cup your face, running his thumb across your cheek softly. “I thought you were beautiful.. and I was jealous.” He said, and you scrunched your nose up in response. “Why would you be jealous?” You wondered and he smiled a bit. “I don’t want another man touching you, Y/N.. Especially not my father.” A sad smile graced your face as you shook your head slowly. “What is it?” You were about to open your mouth to answer him when there was a loud knock from TJ’s front door. He bit into his lip, closing his eyes and growling softly. “I hate this fucking family. I can’t have two minutes of fucking peace.” He mumbled, standing up slowly and leaving his bedroom.
Shortly after you heard the door open, you could hear an unfamiliar man speaking. “Where were you? We looked everywhere for you.” You stayed on TJ’s bed, pulling your knees into your chest as you listened to the conversation. “I just.. I wanted to come home, its no big deal, Dougie.” TJ spoke, his voice shaking with frustration. “No big deal? Are you doing cocaine again?” His brother asked, just as frustrated. “No! Fuck, why does everyone always think I’m doing drugs? I told you, I’m sober. S-O-B-E-R. I’ve been going to NA meetings.” Dougie laughed harshly and you felt your stomach clench as he spoke again. “Sober? Didn’t I come over here and find you high out of your mind with some random dude three days ago?” “What I do is none of your business.” TJ spat, and you could almost picture the look on his face. You could hear footsteps and then the door opening back up. “Mom wants you to call her.” Shortly after that, the door slammed shut and you heard TJ let out a frustrated cry. You waited a moment before you stood and walked to stand in the doorway, looking at him. “Are you okay?” You called softly upon seeing him holding his face in his hands. He didn’t move, but his shoulders shook, and you realized he was crying again. ‘I hate my life.’ You couldn’t stop yourself from rushing forward and wrapping your arms around him. “C’mere, I’ve got you.” You whispered, which only made his shoulders shake more. “I’m sorry I’m so fucked up, I’m so sorry.” He whimpered, his arms finding their way around your waist, holding you tightly against him. “TJ, shhh. Don’t apologize. It’s okay, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” You couldn’t really explain what happened in that moment, but as you held him, your heart fluttered rapidly, and you felt almost drunk, just from being so close to him. When his hands gripped your sides tighter and he pressed himself closer to you, you could feel an electric current coursing through your veins that was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. That was the moment that you knew you couldn’t live without him in your life. That was the moment you were sure he was your soul-mate. “I-I know I don’t deserve you, but please don’t fucking leave me.. Please.” He whispered into your hair, making your heart ache inside your chest. You squeezed him a little tighter, bringing your fingers up to run through his hair soothingly. “I can’t lose you, not now that I’ve found you..” He whimpered, nuzzling his face into your neck. That was the moment you decided that you’d be there for him, that you’d love him, no matter what he did.
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