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nectar-cellar · 1 year

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5 Facts about Count Vladislaus Straud IV

@holocene-sims Anna, thank you for sending this in and sparking my inspiration! I’ll be using this prompt as a character-building exercise for Vlad. He has absolutely grown into one of my favorite sims and it was long overdue. Warning, I wrote a lot over the weekend and I enjoyed every minute of it.

In the pics above, I aged him down to create what he would’ve looked like as a young, gloomy nobleman. This would have been before he became a vampire. I gave him a softer, more melancholic expression, you’ll understand why. He's aged like fine wine, hasn’t he? Human Vlad or Grand Master Vampire Vlad, I can’t choose, I love them both.

Some notes:

I used the Sims Wiki lore as a starting point but I never force myself to stick too strictly to what is canon with any of my premade sims. The lore gave me some good ideas though.

I kept the timeline vague because I’m pretty ignorant about historical time periods but I imagine Vlad was a human sometime in the 1800s. History buffs, feel free to correct me. I didn’t end up taking more pictures because I have no period-appropriate attire, oh well.

Content warning: blood, violence, war, murder. He didn’t exactly have a fun human life.

Fact 1.

Vlad was born into an upper-middle class family in Eastern Europe. His father was a high-ranking military officer, and his mother was a music teacher. As a child, Vlad was pulled in two directions: his mother wanted to cultivate his love for literature and his talent for music, while his father wanted him to follow in his footsteps as a military officer, and take interest in more traditionally masculine pursuits. He grew up in a home that was materially privileged but emotionally chaotic.

After Vlad came of age, he followed his father’s wishes and joined the military, hoping to finally earn his approval and carry on the family legacy. Reserved, proper and soft-spoken, Vlad quickly found that he did not fit in with his peers, nor did he enjoy the harsh, physically intense, and strict authoritarian environment of the military. The bare conditions of the camps, the long and tiring days, and the constant travel made Vlad disillusioned with the life that he had been pressured to choose, and the career that lay ahead of him. His mother had desperately wished for him to study the arts at university instead, and Vlad would later wonder what life would have been like if he’d been brave enough to take a different path.

Vlad’s performance as a soldier was poor. His meek personality, his weak physical strength, and his inferior performance made him the target of his peers and his superiors’ bullying. His father’s high status made his incompetence even more humiliating, and worse, prevented him from being dismissed from the military like the other flunkies.

Fact 2.

One of Vlad’s formative childhood memories was when his father brought home a rabbit he had hunted, and forced the young boy to prepare it for his mother to cook. Vlad remembers being repulsed by the act of butchering the animal while his father instructed him in an increasingly loud and agitated manner. Finally, Vlad vomited from stress and disgust, then his father angrily took over. Vlad left the kitchen but the sound of the knife hitting the chopping block in a rage was heard all throughout the house. Later, dinner was eaten in silence.

Vlad was traumatized by the incident, but afterwards became morbidly fascinated with animal and human biology, and mortality. He never quite saw the world the same way again.

Fact 3.

Vlad’s time in the army changed him into a tougher, crueler, and desensitized version of himself. He remembers how powerful he felt the first time he fought back against a fellow soldier who had been antagonizing him in the barracks, and won. He had never been one for violence until he discovered how good it felt to beat an enemy into bloody submission with his bare hands. He remembers the stunned silence of the onlookers, and how people acted differently towards him after that. He was treated with slightly more respect, or at least left alone more often.

Vlad remembers the first time he killed someone in battle. He had downed an enemy soldier on the field with his firearm, and had gone over to check. The man was critically injured and bloodied, but not dead. Vlad then shot him a second time, in the head, at point blank range. He was later congratulated by his teammates who had witnessed the murder. Vlad remembers how the fallen enemy had been a young man, just like him. His face had been frozen in shock, his body convulsing with shallow, panicked breaths as he bled out. Vlad had shot him a second time to end his suffering. Vlad knew the reality of war was to kill or be killed, but he didn’t know if it was more ethical to end someone’s life or merely injure them enough to preserve his own safety. As the battles continued, he stopped caring.

Fact 4.

During the war, a small team of 25 soldiers, including Vlad, was sent to an isolated, mountainous region (what is now Forgotten Hollow) on a reconnaissance mission to explore the possibility of setting up a military base in the area. While traveling through the woods, the troop was attacked by vampire bats, but Vlad was the only one bitten. Soon after, he became inexplicably pale, weak, and averse to sunlight, to the unsympathetic disdain of the others. He became hungrier than usual, and he found himself strangely fixated on the necks, exposed skin, and bloodied bandages of his fellow soldiers.

Late one night, towards the end of the mission, Vlad overheard a group of soldiers talking as he was taking a walk by himself around the outskirts of the base camp to get some fresh air. Most of the others had already gone to sleep. Although he felt feverish, weak, and he had a piercing headache, his other senses, like smell and hearing, were strangely sharper than ever before. The soldiers were discussing the troop’s plans to abandon him at the site due to his weakened state and overall lack of competence as a soldier, and to explain away his death as an illness or an accident. Vlad realized this conspiracy to get rid of him had been brewing for a while, and they were going to seize the opportunity while he was mysteriously sick. The oddly small size of the troop and the suspiciously faraway location they were exploring suddenly made sense to him.

An animalistic rage unlike anything he’d ever felt before took hold of him and he attacked the group, lunging at their necks. The next thing Vlad knew, he woke up in the middle of the campsite at dawn, feeling vaguely injured but not in pain, and surrounded by the drained, mutilated, and semi-devoured bodies of all his former troop members. The air was heavy with the smell of blood and meat. Vlad remembers how he was no longer hungry, weak, or scared. All he felt was a calm realization followed by relief that he had survived the ordeal.

Although the region would not make a useful military base or attractive settlement due to its isolated location and depressing weather, the surroundings did provide a strangely cozy place for a homestead. Surrounded by tall mountains, thick forests, and close to a few small lakes, Vlad had at last found his safe haven. Newly invigorated, he began to dispose of the bodies and the evidence, and build a shelter from the usable camp supplies left behind. It would be a while before the military sent another troop to check on them, and he had plenty of time to think about his alibi and future plans while he waited. No one would ever know what happened on that failed reconnaissance mission.

Fact 5

War, betrayal, and trauma made Vlad a cruel, violent, and power-hungry ruler of the small town of Forgotten Hollow. At first, when the town was newly founded, he kept his vampirism a secret and fed on wild animals and livestock. As the decades went by, and more people settled into the town, he became bolder with terrorizing the residents, feeding on humans, and turning humans into younger and weaker vampires under his control. He also returned to the aristocratic lifestyle he had before his military service, building a mansion for himself and pursuing his interests in reading, music, and art. He cultivated the appearance of a charismatic, worldly, and well-groomed gentleman to covertly move through human society, and to better seduce and disarm his victims.

Vlad’s reign of terror only came to an end when the other vampires in the town, particularly the Vatore siblings, banded together to overpower him and report him to the International Council of Occult Beings, a council headed by the world’s most powerful occult beings to govern the supernatural population. After a lengthy trial, as punishment for breaking numerous Vampire Code of Ethics laws, Vlad’s vampiric abilities were severely restricted by magic, he was exiled from Forgotten Hollow, and forced to live in the supernatural community of Moonlight Falls where he would be monitored and unable to act with impunity against a vulnerable human population.

In the aftermath of his trial and punishment, Vlad is content to turn over a new leaf. He admits that at some point, his descent into depravity was no longer justified by his past. All he can do is resolve to change for the better, and he knows there will be harsher consequences from the Council if he does not obey their laws. He is even thankful to have the opportunity to rediscover the humanity and softness he once had a long, long time ago. He knows the regret and guilt he feels are signs that there is hope for him. Still, he wonders if the monstrous, evil side of him, the side of him that delighted in causing pain and terror, can ever be fully put back in its cage. He thinks it’s best if he isolates himself in his mansion and stays far away from everyone.

These days, Vlad’s favorite pastimes are playing classical pieces on the piano, reading books by candlelight, and sipping on chilled packs of ethically sourced, cruelty free, non-human-based plasma from a wine glass.

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erikiara80 · 1 year

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Let’s talk about this. So, IF it’s real, it could mean different things. But the most important thing is that this is Henry’s first day at the Creel House.

It could be Vecna in someone’s vision, showing that he too was innocent when he was a kid. But awful people ruined him, and that’s why he wants to destroy the world and build a better one. So the vines would be part of the vision.

Or maybe they’re real, and this is a flashback. So, maybe what Victor said was true. There was something strange in that house, and Henry felt it

In the S4 trailer we see a different version (cough timeline cough) of the Creels flashback. Henry is all excited and runs up the stairs. But then, when Nancy has the vision and sees Henry running, he doesn’t look excited. Imo he looks scared

Here he’s exploring the new house.

But then (same clothes, so same day. The first day in the house)

I could be wrong, but it’s like he saw something that scared him... Maybe the vines? His reaction would totally make sense.

But you know what. Even if that pic is just one of Vecna visions, Victor too felt there was something strange in their house. If it was just his evil wife or Brenner already spying on them for some reason, I’m not sure he would have used those words. Hiding in the shadows. Nesting.

And why did he go to the attic? I doubt Virginia used to go there. Or that the lab would put microphones in that room. And there weren’t candles or jars there yet, so he went to the attic before Henry.

Victor felt that there was something wrong in the same place where later Henry drew the Mind Flayer. And where Vecna connects himself to the vines/UD to become even more powerful and find his victims. Like a spider.

So both father and son felt something. I swear, if in S5 we get another Henry-Will parallel and Henry says: “It was almost like a feeling”

The fact that Victor went to the attic is sus. And that there are many shots where we see the family from the stairs. As if someone (from the attic, like a spider from its web?) was looking at them.

Unless this is all part of some time-fuckery and it’s Henry from the future who is looking at his family. Who knows!

Anyway. We know that the Creels weren’t a happy family. Many of us think that Virginia had an affair, and one of my theories was that she killed her grand uncle (with poison) to get his money. Maybe she knew Brenner and had other secrets.

But we know that things got worse when they moved to Hawkins. And that’s where Henry developed his powers.

And speaking of nests. Henry said that the house itself made him find a nest of black widows under the floor.

Black widows have a hourglass marking on the underside of their ubdomen. Curious that time powers is exactly the type of power Henry seems to develop.

And those vines/roots. They are everywhere.

Looking at that lamp, I can see that there could be a microphone there. But wouldn’t it be the weirdest place to put one, where you can easily find it? I’m not an expert, lol.

Anyway, if the black widows hourglass marking is a reference to time powers, vines (and spores) make me think about fungi and plants. And what is the other power that only Henry has? The power to absorb other people’s abilities/ powers. Like fungi or parasitic plants.

Like the rafflesia arnoldii

Interesting. It’s like the powers Henry developed in the Creel House are connected to the Upside Down. Unless it’s all just foreshadowing.

So, in conclusion. The Creels definitely had secrets. It is possible that Brenner, since Virginia called him, already knew this family and maybe was even spying on them because of something in their past, or something related to that house.

But that pic with the vines is so fascinating! I can’t wait to see if it’s real and we’ll see it in S5. And what it means.

Other analysis/theories:

- Parallel between the exorcism that angered the “demon” and the soldiers that angered Henry in S2

- In one of the articles on the massacre they call Henry Edward, so what Jason says here could have a double meaning, re Eddie AND Henry’s past

#henry creel #henry/vecna/one #st s5 #st s5 theory #the mind flayer #the upside down #st theory #st vecna

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1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years

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Thurs 10 June ‘21

DREAMS DO COME TRUE and fanfics do come to life, how lucky are we? Seriously though, cooking show Louis AND footie Louis in one day, have we finally crossed out of the dark timeline and into some kind of blessed AU?! Louis is doing a COOKING SHOW (well, a little cooking video), and even better- it’s one of those things where he tries to recreate a recipe on his own for the camera! Full Time Meals is part of Marcus Rashford’s campaign to end child food insecurity in the UK. Celebrity chef Tom Kerridge makes easy meals from cheap ingredients for folks to follow along with, so Louis shouldn’t have too much trouble- good for him, though maybe not quite as entertaining for us, but this is one step closer to Celebrity Bake Off, keep dreaming big and crossing those fingers! Kerridge will post his recipe video on Sunday, and then Monday they’ll post Louis making the same thing. The preview pic is just long ass hair everywhere OMG. Put on a hairnet, hippie! NOT ONLY THAT I guess he is still at the studio, but hey that just means more video for us and not only that, today’s fan videos are of Louis kicking a football around- look at him GO!- with CHILDREN, goddddd. TOOO much, truly excellent.

My Policeman filming officially wrapped, and Harry took a fan pic in London (with a fan called… Harry!) Harry (Styles) is wearing his “louie” shirt (hey I didn’t name the thing okay it’s literally called that) and carrying his blue bandana in his back pocket (on the left, relevant if hanky code, probably not relevant if he was just carrying it for hay fever symptoms or whatever.)

Liam assured us that the Vegas entrepreneur dinner will be very fun and (in his underwear, hello) said that he loves his discord and he did a live chat about Lonely Bug and NFTs. He said, “lonely bug is my inner child,” there will be LB merch- “very limited toy drop might add clothes don’t know,” that the new song has “very very bright lyrics,” and said both that his knee is sore and that his knee is much better thanks, how very Liam.

And in a (these days rare for me) dip into fandom discourse, I see writer Kaitlyn Tiffany is back making the rounds of blogs for her book about the 1D fandom and how craaaazzzy larries are; BLOCK HER. Her tumblr url is kaittiffany (EDIT SJDKJFKS she has deleted since this morning OK THEN but she will be back again; I’m leaving this in for next time as we definitely haven’t seen the last of her, plus you know I went to all the trouble of writing it.) A book actually reporting on this complex and somewhat unique fandom objectively from a place of interest and curiosity would be fascinating and totally worthwhile… but sadly this REALLY ain’t it. She has made it clear she has no intention of actually writing about the intricacies of this fandom, only in finding material to bolster her already decided upon thesis about the ‘clinical paranoia’ and conspiracy theorizing of young women online. Her entire premise is based on her own preconceived bias, and she came here to find things to support her premise rather than coming up with it based on what she saw (not to mention it’s totally dated at this point, she really missed the cultural moment on that) and she has no interest in hearing what we have to say, only in pathologizing to support the sensationalist brief she probably got a publishing advance for and finding things to pull out of context to make her already decided on points. Anyway she wrote the intern- who had not blocked her to that account, oops- offering the ‘choice’ between one of our posts being quoted in her book with or without a name attached GEE THANKS SUCH GREAT OPTIONS; once she sees anything she wants to pull out of context, you can’t do anything about it (this is a public platform), so just block her so she doesn’t see it in the first place.

Hey but since we’re not getting an actual balanced book about the fandom maybe someone should write a companion book to hers analyzing the psychological phenomena of antis! Hey publishers, I can throw around buzz words too plus unlike her I know what I’m talking about as an actual member of this community, check it out: I propose an analysis in the aftermath of the Trump era of ‘othering’ in online spaces and how certain fandom groups operate as a socially acceptable entry level location of practice in demonizing a peer population which can act as a gateway to normalizing the othering of other cultures, races, etc. In this essay book I will address how fans experience peer validation and support to egg each other on in bullying other people because those people have been coded as Other and Wrong and because their community reinforces the idea that attacking other humans is Good Behavior and that normal constraints and ethics are suspended when people need to be Made to Understand the Righteous Truth and that any means justify that end, and how that carries over into non-fandom life and is dangerous as hell. Now THAT’S timely, DM for deets about where to send my advance!

#I have read AT LEAST two fics where Louis has a blog recreating recipes why have I seen no fic posts triumphantly circulating today?#authors this is your moment HYPE YOURSELVES #10 jun 21 #my policeman filming

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okayysophia · 4 years

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You need to stop! You're commentary is making me laugh too hard! I have to thank you for these posts because lawd. Tumblr was a hellhole these past two days. I don't understand the fascination with treating an almost 40 year old white man as a child, but it's a mess. It'll only be a matter of time before the people "upset because he didn't wear a mask", will be on his dick again. Can we all talk about something else? Please!

😂😂😂

Just last month some pornstar posted a pic of Chris in a moving van outside without a mask on and the whores were pissing themselves with happiness so I don’t know why their angry now😂

I’m only talking about it cause I saw some anon crying cause she said she had a panic attack from the pictures of them in the park eating ice cream and it’s like... we’re adults ma’am, with bills to pay...

This is the most interesting thing in my timeline anyway and while other people want to try and sympathise with these weirdos, I believe a little shame is healthy... it’s good for the bones.

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dlrconlicense · 5 years

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A Strange Favor (or Favour if you’d like)

Not beta’d just another little brain fart I had looking at a pic of Strange and Spidey, set in a timeline in this multiverse as my Strange Desserts ficlet. It’s just utter Strangeolly crack (Also pays a little homage to my high school which was very similar to Peter’s)

New York City, somewhere in the multiverse.

“Ah, young master Parker. To what do we owe your presence?” Wong opens the door to 177A Bleecker Street to see the young man fidgeting in front of the Sanctum.

“Oh hey Mr. Wong, listen is Dr. Strange in right now? I really need to ask him a favor?” Wong looked at the teen and he could see Peter Parker was anxious, whatever it is must be of utmost importance.

Wong lead the youngster into the Sanctum “Master Strange will be back shortly, he has to attend to some business in London. Can I get you anything? Tea?”

“Oh no, it’s ok. I’ll just wait here.” Whenever Peter visit the Sanctum, he was always both in awe and a tad creeped out. Last time the Cloak snuck up on him and he ended up knocking over one of the relics in the library upstairs. Needless to say, Strange and Wong were not amused. Peter rocked back and forth on his sneakers and saw Wong still stood by watching him. “Come on Mr. Wong, I’m not going to touch anything, I swear!”

“It’s not you I’m worried about. That Cloak has a mind of its own and for some reason, it likes to have fun with you Master Parker.”

A portal opens at the top of the stairs and through it comes Stephen Strange, dressed not in his usual robes but in a sweater and jeans. He turns around and gives a brunette woman on the other side of the portal a kiss “I’ll see you next time?” Before she could answer, they hear rapid footsteps coming up the stairs.

“Dr. Strange, I need a HUUUUGE favor…oh, hi Dr. Hooper!”

The brunette smiles at Peter and crosses the portal to give him a hug “Hey Peter! How have you been?”

“What is it, kid?” Stephen was just a tad peeved that his goodbye kiss to Molly was rudely interrupted. “You know I can’t use the stone to turn back time so you can upload an assignment that you somehow forgot that was due because you were fighting some thug down by the bodega at the same time as the deadline…”

“Actually Doc, it’s not that. Well technically, I don’t have to ask you now that Dr. Hooper is here.”

Stephen cocks his eyebrow up inquisitively at the kid “What do you need from Molly?”

“A body.”

“A body?” Stephen looks over to his girlfriend, why does everyone seem to think that she can provide bodies like she runs “Corpse-r-Us”? Nobody knew about her involvement with Holmes’ little magic trick a few years back save for their little circle.

“See I am taking Intro to Forensic Science at school as an elective because NOTHING else was available and we were supposed to be visiting the morgue to observe an autopsy but for some reason they canceled on us and I don’t know why I mentioned that I knew a pathologist and my teacher Mr. Citron is an absolute forensic nut and when he found out that I knew Dr. Hooper from St. Bart’s, and believe me he is a big fan of yours Dr. Hooper, read like all your papers. Anyways, he wanted me to ask her if she can video an autopsy for the class…”

Stephen really wishes he can open a portal and send this kid back to Long Island City or Sunnyside or wherever in Queens he lived. But his Molly would not approve, for she was rather fond of this teen. He was smart and an overall decent kid, Strange would agree, as he would regularly seek the sorcerer out when he needed tutoring in biology or how to deal with mystical beings that occasionally popped up around his neighborhood. Currently however, he was getting a splitting headache from his incessant chatter. Though what is up with this kid and his run-on sentences? Oh, the demise of the school system. But he got to hand it to the kid and his lung capacity for being able to articulate so much in a short span of time.

“Well I would have to check with Mike first, but I don’t see why not. We are a teaching hospital, be glad to motivate the next generation of mad scientists. Just hope your lunchtime isn’t scheduled after the post-mortem video, otherwise I don’t think you can look at pizza or macaroni cheese for a while.”

“Well see here’s the thing…” Peter rocked back and forth on his heels, not looking at the couple, Stephen squinted his eyes as though reading his mind “Tell me you did not promise a live one?”

“Not really possible though.” Peter looked up at Molly in disappointment, she turned to Stephen with a small impish smile “Can’t exactly do it on a live one, can I?”

The raven-haired sorcerer smirked at this comment. His Molly did have a most unique sense of humor “You know what I mean.”

“I mean think about it guys. Wouldn’t this be a fine opportunity for your institution for outreach and collaboration with an American academic institution? I mean, we need a bit more professional anecdotes, the most exposure we get on the morgue are CSI reruns and iZombie.”

Stephen knitted his eyes and stared at the boy, well played Peter, he knows how much Molly loves to rant about how unrealistic those shows are.

“Live-streaming would be a first, though you guys would have to set up the whole feed…”

“See here is where you come in, Dr. Strange. How about we bring Dr. Hooper and the body into my school using your Sling Ring?”

Stephen and Molly both raised their eyebrows in unison, was he serious now?

“Umm, that’s a no, kid.”

“But Dr. Strange, you for one know how fascinating the human body is and plus my classmates would think that you are mad cool as a scientist and a sorcerer, two practices that run completely opposite to each other, I mean you can actually also do a seminar on how does one balance science and the metaphysical…”

Stephen twirls his hand to open a portal behind Peter to the alley next to his apartment building. “Bye, Parker.”

Just as Stephen was send Peter into the portal, a loud banging comes from Molly’s flat inside the other portal.

“Molly!!! I need you to head into Bart’s and examine the corpse from Dimmock’s case! I believe I have found the correlation between the victim’s Swedish Fish addiction and…oh Strange, you’re here.”

Molly and Stephen sighed and turned to find Sherlock Holmes had picked the lock to her flat. Peter looks at the tall curly haired man in awe “Holy crap! You’re Sherlock Holmes. Oh man, Mr. Citron is going to be so jealous! Mr. Holmes, I’m Peter, Dr. Hooper’s friend…”

Sherlock gazed at the boy with a frown, then turned to Molly with raised eyebrows as if asking who is this reprobate?

“Oh! Maybe you and Dr. Hooper can conduct a seminar on solving crimes through forensics and deduction together”

“Ok kid, bye bye!” And with a flick of his hand, Stephen sent Peter through the portal and closed it. He turned to Molly and drew his fingers in the circle in the direction of Sherlock “You need me to, you know…?”

Molly shook her head, wound her hands to his neck and pulled him down for a slow and sweet kiss “I’m kind of curious what Swedish Fish have to do with this case. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Your place or mine?”

Sherlock was already out of the door and impatiently called out “Strange, you’ll end up slinging or whatever it is that you do into her bed later anyways. Come along, Molly! Time is of the essence.”

Molly took his hand and caressed over the Sling Ring “How about Singapore? I’m in the mood for some chili crab and away from them. I’m pretty sure Sherlock has been banned for his little investigation involving their otter population. Even Mycroft won’t be able to get him into the country.”

#strangeolly #stephen x molly #Stephen Strange #Molly Hooper #Student Spidey #I actually do hate Swedish Fish #multiverse #if you haven't figured it out this is crack btw

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theteapotofdoom · 6 years

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So I want to speak about Shigaraki some more because I love him.

I don’t really want to call it a theorizing post because I don’t think I will create anything new, considering that all of these things have been talked about before. But the latest chapter gave us a lot of food not only for AFO’s backstory and the OFA lore but also for Shigaraki as well!!! And I’m excited and I want to talk about it!!!

So, in this last chapter, we all noticed how similar Tomura’s and the original OFA’s design were. It was actually already noticed by many since OFA’s first apparition long ago. But this pic, in particular, sealed the deal for most of us. This really can’t be a coincidence. (I also still feel that way about Tomura and Eri’s designs but that’s a whole different subject).

Many people think that it means they’re related but although it may seem like the most obvious option, I strongly disagree because it would mean that Nana was also related to them, and the timeline would actually be a little wacky. My theory is that this resemblance is more symbolic than anything. First, it could be foreshadowing of Tomura turning against AFO at the end of the story, or something like this. But I’d like to think that it’s actually something a lot more interesting.

I really like the idea that AFO sees some of his younger brother in Tomura, and that’s one of the reasons he chose him as his successor (aside from the revenge against All Might). So far, AFO has mostly been shown to be cold, detached, calculating and practical. The only time he got “emotional” was when mocking Nana to attack Toshinori. So the idea that behind his masterplan, there is also a motif that is a lot more emotional and “irrational’ is fascinating!!!! Suddenly, it looks like a kid trying to fix his family, pretending his brother never left him, that everything is fine and that his family is united! (well not a kid, but you get the idea I think) We’re shown in the flashback that he clearly had some attachment for his brother and even some love (even if it was twisted). And it might surprise some you because I make a lot of salty post about how I’m gonna deck AFO myself because he abuses Shigaraki and is the worst, but I really want to believe that he really has some affection for him (again twisted) and he is not just a tool, because it makes the relationship even more interesting and compelling and tragic!

Don’t get me wrong, in my eyes, the relationship is still 100% abusive, unbalanced and unhealthy. But, relationships are complex and complicated. You can love someone and abuse him. You can abuse someone without actively wanting to hurt him. So yeah, I think AFO could really care about Tomura while still hurting him like he does. (But all of this is speculations!)

The last thing I want to bring up is another version of this theory that’s actually my favorite of all the ones I came up with.

How fascinating would it be, if AFO indeed projects his brother on Tomura, but didn’t realize it? What if he didn’t even consciously saw the resemblance? Suddenly, this is a coping mechanism. Suddenly, the evil mastermind is emotional in a way that he hadn’t predict? And what happens if he realizes it? Would he be furious at his own weakness? Would he embrace it? Would it ignore it?????? SO MUCH GOOD STUFF TO THINK ABOUT GUYS!!!

But yeah, “AFO project his bro on Tomura” is my favorite theory so far. Because now I can imagine ... Like when/if Tomura turns against him he would absolutely fucking snap???? Because it’s his brother betraying him a second time??? Because he had planned everything and everything was so perfect and now Tomura is ruining it!

Please discuss we me guys this all so intriguing!!!!!! LET’S DISCUSS THE BOY AND AFO!!

#shigaraki tomura #all for one #bnha theory #mha theory #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #shimura tenko #tomura shigaraki #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #i love my chaotic goth son

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qqueenofhades · 6 years

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I was (?) a Lyatt shipper who loved Flynn since S1 bc I love a good bad boy. I've been sympathetic to him since the 70s (ha!) when we found out about his wife and kid being murdered. So I found your blog and was loving all the Flynn stuff but I wasn't into Garcy. Thought "ew"--isn't he more like cool young uncle material for her? Fast forward to today and I have read every Garcy ff you have written and have fallen completely into the trash can. I know you prob hear this a lot lately...(1)

(2) but I wanted to thank you so much for writing The Tangled Web of Fate. What a masterpiece! You make the storyline in the same tone as canon somehow. You really have Flynn’s emotions and voice down pat. So good. Makes me believe in Garcy. In fact, makes me want Jessica and Logan to figure out their crap and that way everyone can be happy bc at this point I don’t want Jessica to be unhappy or go away either. Anyway, I went from Garcy sounds gross to GIVE ME MORE. So thanks?

(3) sorry. I feel panicked that we are running out of time (unoriginal pun) and might only get 5 more episodes and Flynn won’t get the full character development and happy ending he deserves. If it were up to you, would you give him a redemption arc and a happy ending or would you keep him as garbage boss? Also, dude is a full head taller than the industrial fridge in the bunker and they need to find a couch he can be comfy in. He looks like a giant living in a tiny house. My poor baby.

Ahaha. This delights me to no end, ngl. My powers are groooowing. And you have given me a lot to talk about here, so thanks. :)

Honestly, the people insisting on reading Garcy as familial/platonic/theorizing that Flynn is somehow Lucy’s son/they’re otherwise related are… very confusing to me? To say the least. Though to be totally frank, it’s often clearly by people who have an agenda in discrediting Garcy as a viable alternative to Lyatt (which they… probably don’t need to do, I mean for better or worse, the writers have made their preference/narrative direction clear. Alas). I obviously have no problem with people shipping whatever they want in whatever way they do, but… yeah, Garcy’s vibe ain’t platonic or familial (and if for some wild reason they DID end up Magically Related, like Flynn was somehow Lucy’s long-lost brother from an alternate universe or whatever, I wouldn’t stop shipping it, or even writing smut for it. I’d be like, “well writers, you got yourself into this with this far-fetched and illogical forced plot twist that does not fit with anything that has been written or acted beforehand, so I’m going to just go for Time Traveling Flowers in the Attic. Ooops?”) I’ve had plenty of posts with the way Flynn looks at/acts around Lucy (just saying, if my uncle looked at me like that, I would make sure never to be alone with him at family events) and the way she’s started to look back at him. And Goran Visnjic has straight up said that Flynn is “infatuated” with Lucy and we’ve had a lot of teasing about “does Flynn have a thing for Lucy” re: 2x06 that makes me wonder if we’re going to get some kind of more explicit confirmation of the way he feels about her. Goran has also encouraged us to read between the lines, so people can want it to be just a friendship (because they prefer another romantic partner for Lucy, and again, that’s fine, whatever) but he’s consciously acting it as a pretty romantic fascination. So yes. We aren’t just making that up.

Also, just saying, we KNOW who Flynn’s mom is, she’s a named and identified character, she appeared in an episode, Rittenhouse was originally sending Rufus, Lucy, and Assassin Goon to kill her in 1x15 with the aim of erasing Flynn from history. So “Flynn is Lucy’s son” is just… did you guys not notice Maria Thompkins? Who was awesome and I love her? Besides, if Flynn was Lucy’s son, she wouldn’t NEED time travel to meet him, and we know the journal is connected to new time tech (traveling on your own timeline). He couldn’t be anything less than her grandson and that would still be ludicrously complicated, as it would require Lucy to have Maria at some point while traveling in the past, then… straight up abandon her, then go back to her own timeline, then wait for Flynn to grow up, then travel back to meet him…. etc. It’s a mess. We know Flynn’s parents’ names (Asher Flynn and Maria Thompkins); hell, we know more about his family than we do about Wyatt’s. Why is no one theorizing that Wyatt is secretly Flynn and Lucy’s son? (I kid, I kid. But still. It makes about as much sense, if not more, which is to say it doesn’t.)

Anyway yes, I always felt like that was a pretty transparent attempt to make Garcy a non-romantic option in order to remove it as a shipper threat, but that doesn’t mean people can’t ship it as a friendship/brotp. I’m just saying, however, that it has been (at least certainly on Flynn/Goran’s end) played as a romantic thing, even if latent and unspoken and complicated. (Also, he went really quickly for the “honey…” and “what my wife failed to mention” lines in 1x11 and 2x04, so even if Flynn won’t admit it, he instinctively sees Lucy in some way as his wife.) So yes. Making them related would be a COMPLETELY illogical stretch, but… if they did that, yeah, I’d probably still ship it. (Shrug emoji.) Because I would recognize that the council had made a decision, but given as it was a stupid-ass decision, would elect to ignore it. (Insert Nick Fury gif here.)

Next, I am obviously glad that you are enjoying my fic and it has converted you to one of us. I started writing the Wyatt/Jessica stuff before she arrived back on the show and am rather pleased with how nicely it fits. Wyatt in canon needs a serious reality check, which I am hoping he gets. I obviously forgave Flynn for being a total fuckup and hurting everyone, I am absolutely willing to do the same for Wyatt, but he needs to have the “well shit I’ve been a selfish ass and am going to substantively make up for it” moment first. I hope the big finale moment is him finally owning up to his dickish behavior and putting everyone else first and otherwise reversing course. Because yeah. I’m judging.

Lastly, I WORRY ALL THE TIME ABOUT US GETTING CANCELLED AFTER THIS SEASON BECAUSE IT WOULD BE A TRAVESTY. A TRAVESTY. The short season has always hurt us narratively, though of course it’s great to get it, but then to cut it off there with no more space at all… god. It gives me the shudders just to think about. And one of the reasons is yes, give me my full redeemed-antihero Garcia Flynn redemption arc. Goran has talked a lot about how we’re seeing more of his real nature this season, and just yes. We saw throughout season 1 that Flynn hated to do a lot of what he was doing, but he did it anyway in the larger purpose of bringing down Rittenhouse (and nobody has yet acknowledged that he was right all along about them…we need more conversations/authentic character moments, guys, NOT SOAPY RELATIONSHIP DRAMA. JUST SAYING). He never really WANTED to be a garbage disaster, but he loved his wife and daughter more, and he was dedicated to taking Rittenhouse down to the point that he thought he couldn’t return to them even if he did save them. So no, he was not a character who was just out there burning shit down for the fun of it (though he does enjoy it in some ways, because… he’s a disaster). But Flynn’s character file in canon has him fighting in a lot of small-scale liberation wars (Chechnya, Bosnia, Kosovo, etc) against occupying/oppressive regimes, and that’s basically what he’s doing with Rittenhouse. He is a good man with a very strong moral code, but also a very grey one. He has correctly identified the overall enemy and is dedicated to destroying them, but he won’t be the hero wringing his hands over it because “it’s not right” to use violence. Which the Time Team is leaning on themselves (they basically left Flynn in 1934 to be a hitman, so… no more judgey remarks about “he’s a killer” would be nice, guys. You know he is and you’re using that because you need it.)

So yes. Flynn doesn’t WANT to be a garbage disaster, so it would be cruel to keep him as one. He is sassy as hell, but he also seems happier working with the team than he ever really did alone (as Goran has also discussed). Again: MORE CONVERSATIONS!!! Did Flynn just see it as business in trying to take out the team before, since they were trying to stop him from taking down Rittenhouse, and now that they agree on who the threat is, he’s happy to work with them? Is Garcia “why do I even delegate” Flynn really trusting them (at least aside from Lucy, who he clearly does) to do what’s needed, or does he essentially think he still has to do it himself? DEVELOPMENT PLEASE!

I wanted Flynn to permanently join the team ever since 1x10 (as that episode threw me down the dumpster in SO many ways) so obviously, I want that to keep up. The 2x07 pic of him and Rufus clasping hands made me hella emotional (also: we still haven’t had a Flogan scene since Flynn arrived in 2x03 and Wyatt stormed out in a hissy fit…still judging for skipping the Messy Boys Trip in 2x05). I want him to be developed and integrated more into the team and made a part of them, because I’m a hopeless sucker for villain becomes weird family member and redeemed antihero and found family and enemies-to-lovers/enemies-to-friends. So yes. Please don’t screw it up, guys.

(Also yes. Yes, I noticed him being taller than the god damn fridge at the end of 2x05. He’s HUGE and it’s ridiculous.)

#lucy x flynn #garcy #timeless meta #timeless spoilers #timeless critical #(not really but just in case)#my garbage boss #anonymous #ask

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daleisgreat · 3 years

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Star Trek: The Next Generation: Season Six

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-I am indefinitely grateful for your patience awaiting my semi-annual Star Trek: The Next Generation season recaps. Today I bestow upon you all my thoughts for the penultimate sixth season (trailer) of TNG. It is already a little jarring to realize I am down to one season left on this series I have gradually-yet-steadily been picking away at the past three years. Once again, all the screens here are courtesy of me pointing my outdated Samsung Galaxy S7 phone at the TV screen so you have my apologies for the questionable fidelity of the pics! -For notable cast changes, there are several I want to make sure to address. Transporter Chief O’Brien (Colm Meaney) departs midway through this season to be a regular cast member on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine which started in January of 1993. I knew of Colm’s switching shows during this season for a while now and was anticipating some big episode or climactic scene explaining his departure from TNG. While there was a crossover episode introducing some of the new Deep Space Nine characters right before its debut, there was never a scene this addressing O’Brien leaving the Enterprise….unless it was a quick passing line of dialogue that went right over my head! Another notable change is halfway through the season Counselor Troi (Marina Sirtis) gets chastised by a new interim commander for her unorthodox uniform and makes her fall in line wearing matching Enterprise uniforms with the rest of the crew. In the bonus interviews on the BluRay, Marina states how she had to fight for a matching uniform for many years and it was one of the few things the higher ups finally granted her.

-I am glad TNG compensated for the lack of a Q (John de Lancie) episode last season and had him in two episodes in season six. The first episode is a middling affair where he steals a Starfleet prospect who discovers she is a long lost member of the Q Continuum. The second Q episode fares much better where Q helps a stuck-in-purgatory-Picard (Patrick Stewart) after Doctor Crusher (Gates McFadden) has a return of poor doctoring and loses Picard on the operating table. The two travel back to pivotal moments in Picard’s younger days to see if he would change the past in order to get a second chance at the future in an investing episode. Speaking of Crusher’s poor doctoring, there is another episode this season where it feels like the writers are in on the joke and have an episode where Crusher is disbarred after some major bad doctoring again on her part….but of course Crusher manages to change that by the episode’s end. If my notes are accurate (no promises!), than I believe this is the first season with no appearance from Troi’s mother, Lwaxana (Majel Barrett)! I would not be surprised if she has two episode next season. Season six also does not feature an appearance from Wesley Crusher (Wil Wheaton), but I understand he will return in time for the series finale in season seven. A recurring character who does return is everyone’s favorite engineer, Reginald Barclay (Dwight Schultz), who is in a couple episodes this season, with him playing a key part in a holodeck episode with another long overdue returning character I will touch on soon.

Not only does Worf has some killer episodes this season, he also demonstrates his prowess at Yoga this season....while Crusher continues to demonstrate her prowess at poor doctoring. -There are a pair of excellent holodeck episodes this season. The first one is easily the best named episode of the entire series in “Fistful of Datas.” It sees Troi, Data (Brent Spiner), Worf (Michael Dorn) and his son, Alexander go on a wild west adventure where problems with the holodeck causes Data to take over nearly all the AI personas in the simulation. Swashbuckling hilarity ensues! The other holodeck episode sees the return of Professor Moriarty (Daniel Davis). This was long anticipated since Moriarty’s last appearance in season two as the Sherlock Holmes antagonist who became self-aware and whose consciousness became trapped in the holodeck in the following four years. In “Ship in a Bottle,” Moriarty attempts a master plan to connive his way out of the holodeck as a program and as an actual living being. The twists and turns that lead up to the gratifying resolution for everyone was a memorable ride and sadly Davis’s last guest appearance on the show. Daniel Davis and Patrick Stewart have a natural chemistry with each other that shines whenever those two share the screen, so I highly recommend tracking down and viewing both of his episodes!

-The flute that Picard was gifted in the previous season once again returns for a couple of memorable scenes when Picard starts courting another crew member who plays keyboard. Naturally this leads to the two having an emotional duet together that starts off kind of hokey, but by the end the pair had me reeled in all the way! Just click or press here to see for yourself. -Worf has a few notable dedicated episodes this season. A two episode arc sees him track down a long lost colony of Klingons imprisoned by Romulans that has Worf encouraging them to relearn and embrace Klingon customs. Another episode has Worf dealing with the fallout of seeing the return of the Klingon god, Kahless, and the fascinating drama that unravels with another satisfying conclusion for all conflicting parties involved.

-Even though by season six nearly the entire cast and writing team was firing away on all cylinders, I would be lying if there were not a couple clunker episodes. Riker (Jonathon Frakes) portrays a mental patient in a play he is rehearsing for, but the play starts going to his head and he starts losing it for real, but the way the plot unfolds is a mess and a half to follow along with. The other dud is TNG’s homage to The Thing which sounds promising on paper, but instead features lousy CG of its “Thing” and a groan-inducing twist that was not entertaining whatsoever. -As much as I enjoyed Leonard Nimoy returning to play Spock last season, I was delighted even more with The Original Series star James Doohan dusting off his communicator to portray Scotty. Watching him overcome his differences and exchange engineer expertise with Geordi (LeVar Burton) was a treat. The scene with Scotty and Picard sharing a drink on a holodeck reimagining of the original Enterprise gave me nostalgic goosebumps throughout.

-Season six started off with the conclusion to “Time’s Arrow” that saw the TNG crew time travelling back to the 1890s where they first encountered Guinan (Whoopi Goldberg) and were forced to alter the timeline to rescue Data, and win over an aggressive Mark Twain. While not on the level of the “Best of Both Worlds” two-parter season finale, it was still a highly entertaining two-parter in its own right, and as I alluded to earlier, I am all for seeing the TNG crew in an old west setting. Season six ends with another cliffhanger that sees the Enterprise encounter the Borg again, and they manage to convince Data to flee the Enterprise to seemingly join the Borg as their new leader. Suffice it to say, I am intrigued to see how this pays off in season seven! -I referenced a few times before here how I was keeping up with podcast reviews of every TNG episode with the show, Star Trek: The Next Conversation. It looks like I have finally caught up with where hosts Andrew Secunda and Matt Mira have recorded their latest shows just a couple episodes before the end of season six. It looks like they took a few extended breaks this season, and I cannot fault them for that at all when dealing with everything the pandemic has wreaked upon us all this past year. I still enjoyed their takes as usual, and plan on going back and listening to whenever they post new episodes to catch up with their remaining casts covering TNG. I understand they have a Patreon companion with exclusive podcasts dedicated with them marching through both Deep Space Nine and Voyager now, so who knows, I may have to start working my way through those series down the line.

-You know the drill by now, this BluRay is loaded with carried over DVD extra features and all new ones for the BluRay. Not including three commentary tracks for this season, there are just over three hours of behind-the-scenes interviews and documentaries. Almost all of them are informative, but I will only recommend a few of the must-see ones here. Mission Overview: Year Six has introspective reflections from Whoopi on “Time’s Arrow” and James Doohan on “Relics.” Bold New Directions has some fond insights on “Fistful of Datas” and fascinating memories from Stewart and Burton from getting their shot at directing episodes this season. Beyond Five Year Mission – Evolution of Star Trek: The Next Generation is the headlining all-new bonus feature. It is an hour and a half, and split into three parts. Part one has plenty of love for being the cast and crew’s personal favorite season of the show, debuting Deep Space Nine concurrently during this season and trying their best to work within Gene Roddenberry’s “no conflict” framework of the series. Part two is themed around TNG being more serious when compared to TOS, and highlighting how several episodes were scored. Part three stands out the most with an awesome story from Whoopi on what lead to her becoming involved on the show, Sirtis dealing with a lot of pushback from studio executives and Spiner’s love/hate relationship with the cat that played Spot.

There may be many hours of bonus interviews to sift through, but most of it is worth it for endearing moments above like Burton and Frakes sharing a laugh, and Spiner sharing his disdain for a certain feline. -Season six is a step up from the minor-yet-noticeable dip in quality from season five, and brings it back to the high bar established with seasons three and four of TNG. The highs were remarkably prominent this season with some standout holodeck episodes, memorable two-parters, and a scintillating season finale that has me anticipating the kickoff to the season seven. I cannot believe it, after a few years of starting this, I am finally down to just one season left of this legendary show. Please join me one last time here in a few months for my thoughts on the final season of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Past TV/Web Series Blogs 2013-14 TV Season Recap 2014-15 TV Season Recap 2015-16 TV Season Recap 2016-17 TV Season Recap 2017-18 TV Season Recap 2018-19 TV Season Recap 2019-20 TV Season Recap Adventures of Briscoe County Jr: The Complete Series Baseball: A Ken Burns series Angry Videogame Nerd Home Video Collections Cobra Kai – Seasons 1-2 Mortal Kombat: Legacy - Season 1 | Season 2 OJ: Made in America: 30 for 30 RedvsBlue - Seasons 1-13 Roseanne – Seasons 1-9 Seinfeld - Final Season Star Trek: Next Generation – Seasons 1-7 Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle Superheroes: Pioneers of Television The Vietnam War: A Ken Burns series X-Men – The Animated Series: Volumes 4-5

#star trek #star trek tng #star trek the next generation #Patrick Stewart #jonathan frakes #Marina Sirtis #levar burton #gates mcfadden #dwight schultz #daniel davis #james doohan #colm meaney #Michael Dorn #Brent Spiner #Wil Wheaton

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lillikat · 7 years

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Dear Pervert – An Open Letter.

*Names will not be mentioned so as to protect the guilty. This letter may contain issues which could trigger those with a past history of sexual abuse or harassment - ie: most women*

Dear Pervert,

So we’ve been acquaintances on Twitter for what must be now 6 years or so. You followed me, and I reciprocated. I remember as I don’t find and follow many over there, only the truly fascinating, which you did not come under.

You whore your watercolour paintings on Twitter, occasionally asking for feedback and often not actually wanting it. Just trying to “engage your audience” I suppose. I gave feedback on works I liked and on aspects that you openly asked for. Very occasionally you replied to me. Nice, but busy and possibly rather self involved was my diagnosis of you from these interactions.

I believe you once sent me a spam message, whining about how you wanted me to promote you or join you on Facebook. I ignored the crap out of that. Perhaps there was more to that message, now I think about the way you treated me yesterday.

Your watercolours are supposedly amongst the best in the UK with your distinct style which you have given a unique name to (yes bitch, I did look you up and did some light internet homework after our interaction yesterday. Some of these details were most unflattering, very eye-opening and brought some light to our interaction). I was happy to retweet on my own terms, as I liked your use of light, perhaps even considered buying one at some point when I actually had money, obviously not now. I wouldn’t want anything your fuckboy hands have been involved in anywhere near me now.

So despite our complete lack of personal interaction, really getting chatting to each other, you decided to push yourself on me yesterday. Not the first, nor shall you be the last to demand my attention by DMing me out of nowhere, relying upon the fact I have manners and humanity, knowing that I would not outright ignore a simple greeting. However, I smelt fuckery straight away. You see a LOT of men seem to think I am here for their amusement, be that sexual or otherwise.

**Look boys, if your mum didn’t breast feed you enough or hug you, that is not my problem. If you want me to be your therapist, I require payment and for you, “Dear Pervert” that price is tripled. **

So regardless of my thinking “oh shit, another man looking for a mother or slut and I can’t be titted being either.” I responded to your ill conceived, terribly spelt attempt at communication. Perhaps I was wrong, after all, you try to sell work through this Twitter account, by DM nevertheless, there’s just no way you’d risk your professional reputation by being a creepy man on this account, would you?

Yet you did exactly that. 7 messages, that’s what it took you. No romance, no wooing, no paying attention to social cues like me telling you I am busy working, hinting (so clearly that a dog would have picked up my not so subtleties) that I wanted to be left alone and had no interest in you whatsoever. You just kept going didn’t you? Did not give one fuck that you might be making me uncomfortable, annoyed and deeply nauseous. No, because your dick was in control. You pathetic sack of crap, you let your base animal instincts override any sense of socially acceptable behaviour that you might have had.

7 messages of me saying I am working and you sending badly spelt trash, bibbling on about how your in bed and so tired. “Go to sleep then you absolute fanny and stop bothering me I have work to do” was what I was thinking but instead I stated “I am working, I have a lot to do so it will be many hours before I can similarly relax like you are doing.”

You piled on ambiguous emojis like a schoolgirl who’s just got their first smartphone. “Here check this shit out” I called to my husband as I stated I thought I had yet another live one on DM. That was on your second message - the third in our entire interaction. Then you witter on about distracting me from work. ”Dear Pervert”, you really should've bowed out but oh no, not you. You felt entitled didn't you? You then had me reaffirm my I AM BUSY statement and then sent me a shot of your erection barely clothed by grotty hospital style pyjamas.

What in the name of anything sacred or sane were you thinking? At no point did I state any interest in your grotty ass. Not one smidgeon. Not one cell of my being asked for your vague innuendo then shot of your erection. Bam! Rank pyjamas and that, in my face.

Thank you, “Dear Pervert”. Thank you for not reading my timeline or taking any blind bit of notice that I am part of the #metoo movement, part of the #SexAbuseChat survivors. Only recently found my voice. Only started to barely grace the depths of my survival and story. Barely trusting, yet finding strength in the shared stories of my sisters of the internet, stronger perhaps than I can ever be, who have managed to out their pain sooner. More succinctly than I.

Do you want to know my first thought “Dear Pervert”? You made me flashback to the time when I was on holiday with my natural father in a Bulgaria. The last time he forced me to share a room with him. You made me recall those 2 weeks in all their glory. Buckle up buttercup, because this is what you had me relive and refeel in all it's hideous detail. Part one. The Flasher. Not my first, by now I am in my early teens. I have faced emotional, physical, psychological and sexual abuse for many years. That was my secret. I became good at keeping secrets. But that’s a whole set of tales for another time, “Dear Pervert”.

Back to the flasher. My second by this point. I am waiting to get breakfast, it’s a raised static trailer, I am short and have to tiptoe to see over the counter edge. I place my order, the man says just a minute and exits. I step back and wait for what must be 5-10 minutes. I am looking at my shoes, bored and bewildered, when out of my peripheral vision I see the cook come back in, with his dick in his hand, masturbating furiously. By now, I know what to do. I am a child and already had faced so much worse. "Reaction, this shitbag wants me to give anything" was my first thought. Now my first flasher I shot down in flames by pointing at his penis and in my loudest, best stage laugh proclaimed if that’s all he had he’d better see a surgeon. This one deserved more and less. I immediately looked down at my watch swore about this guy being a lazy so and so, then walked off in the opposite direction to the nearest busy shop. I was shaking, I thought I was going to pass out or throw up. I walked slowly so he wouldn’t know I saw him, then sped up gradually, afraid this man was going to chase after me.

Part two. Daddy Dearest. I got back to the hotel room I shared with my father, telling him about the incident in full detail, as soon as he arrived. Surely he will do something or know who to tell, was my logic. No, in my natural father’s true style, he decided this would be the perfect occasion to show me his throbbing penis. Again for no reason. We were both reading later, after dinner. Father was in his underpants & t-shirt, which until then never bothered me. He then yelled jovially “hey what do you think of this?” and as I looked over at his bed he whipped down his underwear to reveal my second unwanted erection of the day. Again “Dear Pervert” I cannot underline, that even at this tender age, I was not a person to be reckoned with.

Let me break this down for those who have never experienced true fear. Seconds, feel like hours. Your heart races, you feel giddy, throat goes dry you swallow - it’s sand, you feel the shaking start, the adrenaline has kicked it now you have an eternity in this moment of horror. Sadly, I had lived here before. Many times. Fortunately, I have learned how to construct complex battle plans in those uncomfortable moments. A few seconds was all I needed.

I took one look at my natural father’s erection, raised an eyebrow and told him he should take that shit on children’s TV as a puppet act. Perhaps the broom cupboard on CBBC would take his act? I then went back to reading my book. I knew if I had reacted in any other way, we would have issues. Joke it off, brush it off as just a bit of fun then jam in the fact YOU ARE A CHILD in large letters, in hopes he will see. From that moment on, things between my father and I got worse. The brutal reality I had to face was that my father wanted me. Completely, in every sense of the word. My everything. I had to run. I had to survive, again. This had become my normality. I could never let him know that I had been here before. I knew even then, he would see that information as some sort of gateway for him to start full on abuse mode. I was not about to let that happen.

So to put it succinctly “Dear Pervert” you triggered memories of my father. For that I hate you.

In your scale of thinking it’s nothing, your junk was technically covered. No, no and NO. No means no, by the way. Drinking is not an excuse ever (looks like this excuse might be a habit for you “Dear Pervert”, again you made me look you up).

As for having a bad week, which was the main crux of your excuse. A bad week? Try having a hellish couple of years in which you almost lose every damn thing including your sanity and will to live. I’ve had that and not once sent pics of my flaps to random internet men. I think I might be able to speak on behalf of most women and say none of us would do that shit ever. I mean genitals are not attractive.

You don’t even remotely tickle my turnip “Dear Pervert” so why in god’s name would you think “oooh my barely covered erection is just what this conversation needs”?

You sir are a fuckwit. A massive gaping, diseased one at that. I have spent a day and a half by now (yeah writing this much vitriol takes time, it’s a craft) hating you “Dear Pervert” for the following reasons.

1: You hold a position of power. Lots of followers on Twitter, prolific artist, seemingly professional. I am an artist, just starting out, being sneered at for my style by the likes of bigwigs such as you. That is why I spoke to you on DM, that is why I gave you the time of day. I thought we shared a common passion, that you might be wanting to talk shop or art. You entered into a contract of trust and you pissed all over it. That’s what you’re doing when you randomly seek attention from a woman on the internet by the way. If they give you the time of day back, count your blessings behave like a gentleman and keep your dick where it belongs. Off my DMs and not in my face. You abused your position of power. For shame!

2: Right at the exact time your fuckery started my dog decided to start violently throwing up. Yet I had to take time out to yell at you & report you. So I’m just blaming you for my dog being sick, because I think she saw your pathetic wang and it made her chuck. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. It pleases me to do so.

3: I have had panic attacks, stomach aches & headaches since, thanks to the constant supply of panic adrenaline that my body seems to use as some form of defence. My heart has been racing, I can’t sleep & can’t eat. So thank you for that trauma.

4: You didn’t even care when I yelled at you and told you that I am not here to be an object of sexual gratification nor amusement to internet randoms, that I was a human with actual real feeligns attached to them. I also informed you that I am married, and again I didn’t want your pervy nonsense. Now every letter is riddled with hidden intent and double entendre. Every character takes on new meaning in light of your behaviour. You gave me eye rolled emoji like a fucking child. You make me sick.

5: I now worry about the safety of other women on the internet. Oh but fear not “Dear Pervert” the whisper network is in effect. I can’t out you here, but I absolutely can tell my loved ones to avoid you like a dose of virulent crabs. They have been told you are not professional and you are not a safe person. I think we can both agree on those very simple facts. My ladies will give you wide berth, they will tell other women who will tell other women who will tell other women. So in short if you’ve done this before (which I have to believe you have & much worse) it will come out eventually. If you really were just showing your dick to me and I was your special first, note if you do this again, the network will get stronger. Why? Because we are looking out for one another in trying times, as only real, actual humans do.

With that “Dear Pervert” I sign off.

Know the pain you have caused me and know you just pushed me to out pain and truth that I have never done before. You broke me, now there might be a landslide of cathartic outings here.

Sisters of the internet! You are not alone, together we are stronger. You there reading this, yes you. You are a Goddess. No you are, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Men, treat every woman as the Goddess she is. After all women have paid homage to your masculinity for aeons. Return the favour.

If we all treat each other as Gods & Goddesses, with the full respect that holds, perhaps there might be less of this infestation of men believing they have privilege over woman’s domain. Because random internet boys, we owe you nothing not one thing, therefore you have no right to demand anything from us ever.

We are not your sex toys.

We have feelings.

Yours Blistering with Rage

#metoo #onlinepervert #abuse #personal

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beatconductor-blog · 7 years

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01/07/2017

catboii

>You head over to B.C's place via the coords he gave you. You imagine he should be easy to find or he'll be waiting for you, because if you have to go looking for him you're gonna whine at him.

beatconductor > You still got the transportalizer located in a room at your little 'office' which is set up as a makeshift lounging area. Not the most fancy, but it should be comfy enough. And since you have a hard time gathering enough energy for work today, you're just resting on the couch and waiting for your guest.

catboii >Yep good he was easy to find (you can recognise his cute face from his selfies). You're not gonna have to complain at him after all. Mixed up in all your turbulent self loathing and hype for actually getting to see him finally is a thought. How much weird stuff has he seen from the depths of the multiverse so far (you're nothing much but at least you're cute). You make a show of being extra when you see him. Hop up off one paw, your glittery fairy-like wings keeping you hovering rather than pointlessly draining your psionics, and make sure to swish your tail when you float yourself to sit next to him. Normally even you would be a little- held back? Cautious? With someone who is technically a stranger, but you're bro-linked now. He has your vent and your porn blog and you have his... combined mess of a blog that's actually a little precious. And he offered to pet you when you were obviously not doing good and he's not doing good and you mostly wanna see if you can make him feel better somehow. Give him a distraction from whatever it is that's bothering him. Petting you is definitely a good distraction you are precious. "Hey." Yes, very eloquent.

((I didn't mean for this to be longish feel free to reply as short or whatever as you want im p informal it's all fun lmao))

beatconductor ((omg)) Well, as much as you've read about timelines and alternates already, it's still a little weird to see him in person. Especially since you're sort of close with the local Sollux and they -do- look similar. But C is also so... EXTRA. You can't help but snort at that entrance. "Sup." Yeah, equally as eloquent. You too would usually be a little more cautious, but after all the virtual fistbumps and s ((whoops too early wait there's more))

beatconductor You too would usually be a little more cautious, but after the virtual fistbumps, exchange of porn, troubles, selfies (and most of all bonding over corpse pics), it feels like you already know each other well enough. But how do you start a conversation now. Or a petting session? Should you just ask him about his mood or what? Actually you're kind of fascinated by that tail (and ears, but the tail is easier to reach) and can't help but give it a little poke. That thing is really the real deal huh? "Dude..." Eloquent.

catboii >Aw he's like a crow that found something shiny. Your tail twitches when he touches it, and you mock frown. "Dude... You can't just go around touching guy's tails what are you an earth veterinarian." Your pout is so obviously fake and there that's your icebreaker. You lean your forehead against his shoulder and flip your tail onto/into his hand. It's long enough that when you're standing it can drag on the floor. "How are you doing?"

beatconductor "Nah more like a derse taxidermist" Well, that was highly unfitting response. Oops. Either way, you're busy ruffling the whole tail. "Well right now I'm petting a fluffy fairy so pretty damn fine I'd say." You did notice he doesn't like being called a furry, so look at you avoiding saying that. Also, you're kind of avoiding to really answer the question, since you just want off the whole emotional rollercoaster. "How's you."

catboii >You smile to yourself and nuzzle his shoulder, making sure you don't jab him in the face with your horns. You dont know about trolls around here,5 but you're very affectionate and vocal as standard. Iro54nically just like a cat. "I'll make surur Moonie hits you up if we fuck up our insurance scam and I die for real. Can you make me look good?" You don't really expect any different from him and you wouldn't have it any other way. He's funny and he's Real™ in a way you can't quite put your finger on. You do notice that he avoided, but kind of hope it's also to do with the fact that you're here. "Mmh I'm better now. Thanks"

01/08/2017

beatconductor > Considering your girlfriend is actually a cat troll, you're used to such a show of affection (but it's adorable nonetheless).

beatconductor From his position against your shoulder he luckily can't see your face well, right? Because your light skin blushes way too easily. "Man I know two morticians and my local death ram promised to stuff me after my death. If I can't make you look good I know peeps that can. Though if they look at you they'll think you're some kinda cryptozoology thing." And here goes a hand up to Sol's head to test the ears. Soft.. Real, yeah that's a word that you'd use for him too. With all the issues and quirks you've seen him display, you feel like he can easily understand and accept you for all you do or don't show. 01/08/2017

catboii >As much as B.C is all mysterious and aloof, you think you're getting him better now. He doesn't wanna bring other people down with his bullshit, and you get that. You wouldn't say it out loud because apparently it's a flaw, but you're detached enough from people that you don't really get effected by that stuff. You're happy to listen, and you like making people feel better. Honestly you like watching emotions go from one extreme to another, but you like B.C. You probably won't make him one of your official experiments. You do feel he has alot potential though, and if he didn't have to deal with stuff alone then he could probably get on that. It's not your call though, and you're not about to go pseudo pale on his ass, so he's safe. Right now it isn't really a thought, all you're here for is to get pets and give him attention in return in your own way to just help take his mind off things for a while. When he touches your ears they twitch and you lean your head into his hand, so if he wasn't actually gonna pet them he is now. You're a needy little kitty. You purr at him, low and quiet, and shuffle closer to him, so you can lean against him fully. "You smell nice. I think. Humans smell weird." 01/08/2017

beatconductor > Mysterious, do people actually think that? Socially inept, more like. But you very much appreciate his lack of prying. Though if anyone could figure out how to do it the right way, it's probably him. "Uh thanks I guess. Must be the smell of stress and death." You're only half joking. You can't really imagine what kind of scent he means and likes, but hey, a compliment is a compliment. Also you're definitely petting the ears now.

catboii >Well you like him and that's all that matters thanks. You rest your chin on his shoulder so you can kinda look at him, although you're badly longsighted so he's just an attractive blur this close up honestly. "Yeah I'm getting the aromatic undertones of death for sure. I wasn't gonna say that outright 'cause I though it'd sound like 'hey waddup you smell dead' you feel and that's not quite it." You're joking. You smooch him on the cheek, then settle your own cheek against his shoulder. "You know I read this thing apparently petting cats alot makes humans less likely to develop heart disease since it's relaxing." You smile up at him all cute like and stick your tongue out a bit, a little blep for good measure. Precious.

beatconductor You've read and seen how overly affectioate he is so you were prepared. And it's kinda really nice. "Oh neat so petting you might give me back like a year of all those decades I already lost. Man don't think I'll really get old enough in this city to ever have heart problems besides caffeine overdoses maybe." Oh god he does the blep. And you just can't resist to grab the tongue. How very childish.

catboii >It takes you a second to remember which one a decade is. First you got it confused with a century. Man how old is he, 'all those decades'. Dramatic. He's only like two and a half decades old isn't he? What a nerd. And now you're gonna bite his finger, or thumb, or hand, or whatever you can get to. Only a little bit. No broken skin. But you're not letting go. Huff and give him a muffled 'rude' which sounds more like 'boob'.

01/09/2017

beatconductor More like how much older will you get? You're not really expecting to do another ten years, but whatever. When he catches your fingers, you answer with a hoarse quiet yelp, but an amused one. That was really nothing to worry about, you've been bitten far worse before. "You're the boob, jerkface." You try to pry open that mouth with your other hand, taking the chance to get a look at his choppers. Troll teeth are always so cool. ((We can just let this stop here to hop onto a new thing uvu also just in case you're wondering carmineclock is my blog too just wanna keep up with my faves on a less busy dashboard))

catboii ((I saw in the about I was like yep that makes sense lmao. Still follows. But yeah that works lmao, they would've just awkwardly half cuddled from there c': ))

#catboii #nonbb

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kmalexander · 3 years

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Trip Report – Santa Fe

The decision was made immediately after Kari-Lise and I got our first dose of the Pfizer Covid-19 vaccine back in May. TRAVEL. Travel was calling. Call it a spontaneous trip or revenge travel, we were hungry for the world. Like everyone else, we’d spent last year social distancing and sticking close to home, doing our part to stop the spread. Now, on our way to being fully inoculated and assured we wouldn’t unknowingly spread the virus to others, we craved a change of scenery—something opposite from the verdant mountains of Western Washington. We plotted our vaccine schedule, figured out the timeline, and booked a trip.

It’s been a decade since we visited Santa Fe, and it’s no surprise the city called to us once again. It’s an easy trip in non-pandemic times and was a place we both wanted to revisit. In May we weren’t sure how everything would play out, but we decided to roll the dice and plan for a trip of a few days exploring the town and the surrounding landscape. It was well worth it. Like any instance of travel, I came away feeling invigorated and creatively inspired. After a year at home, it was good to get away, breathe the thin desert air, and visit a place so unlike my daily experience. As the pandemic recedes in here America, everyone is still feeling out public behavior. But even with the mild awkwardness, the results were a trip comprised of fantastic food, incredible art, and surprising exploration.

The Food

It’s not going to be possible to share this trip without hitting on the copious amounts of delicious food we devoured. New Mexico is the land of the chile, and red and green varieties show up in every menu across the state, no matter what cuisine. When ordering, one is often asked if you want red or green chile—you can also opt for both by ordering your meal “Christmas.” (Yeah, it sounded corny the first time I said it as well. But the place is called Santa Fe. *rimshot*) Neither are particularly spicy despite the many warnings for tourists, but both are complex and flavorful. Trying different combos is worth the effort there’s no wrong choice here. Choose what works for you and enjoy.

Standout meals include the tacos from El Chile Toreado (arguably some of the best tacos I’ve ever had). The Short Rib Birria from Paloma, probably the fanciest dining we experienced on the trip. Solid enchiladas from The Shed (a return visit). And a strange little chile dog from the Taos Ale House; a mess to eat but incredibly delicious.

The Art

The third-largest art market in the United States is an artery running through the heart of Santa Fe along a street known as Canyon Road. (At this point it has spread well beyond Canyon Road, but posterity likes a metaphor.) The narrow lane is lined with over a hundred art galleries and studio spaces full of a variety of art. Everything from contemporary to traditional art, sculpture to jewelry, couture clothing to leather goods is offered somewhere along the route, and it’s easy to lose yourself for half a day or more.

These wind sculptures were quite relaxing.

Much had changed in the decade since our last visit, as one would suspect. Couple that with a receding pandemic and Canyon Road felt like a place awakening from a long slumber. In some spots, masks were optional for the fully vaccinated. Others were still being cautious and requiring masks and social distancing for all guests. We were happy to oblige and spent many hours wandering through the galleries discussing art and finding new favorites.

The standout for me was discovering the work of Grant Hayunga at his own recently opened gallery. His work varies but what stood out were his mixed media pieces that sat somewhere between paintings and relief sculpture. Made of various materials, calcium carbonate, crushed marble, beeswax, Hayunga creates fascinating pieces that explore humanity and our relationship with nature. My favorite from this series is fur trapper a recent piece from this year. He also creates these stunning neo-traditional landscapes, one of which—2016’s Asleep—enthralled both Kari-Lise and me. It’s all beautiful work, easily my favorite of the whole Canyon Road experience. You all need to buy more books from me so I can get one of his pieces.

“fur trapper” 2021, hanging in the Grant Hayunga Gallery

Meow Wolf

Canyon Road wasn’t the only artistic experience of the trip. When we last visited Santa Fe, the art collective known as Meow Wolf was still in its infancy. In the decade since our visit, they have experienced significant growth. Their permanent home in Santa Fe is a former-bowling alley funded by some local guy named George R. R. Martin. It sits near the southwestern edge of the city as is home to their first large-scale interactive art experience House of Eternal Return. It’s amazing. The whole thing plays out like an interactive X-Files episode.

I can write a thousand words on what is inside, but it’ll never do it justice. Even photos don’t really capture the magic. You begin outside a modest home oddly enclosed in a warehouse (the reason why is eventually explained). After you pass through the front door (it’s open), you’ll soon discover a rich story told through journals, newspaper articles, videos, and photo albums, pictures on the wall, toys in the bedroom, and much much more. It all ties the family that resided there and their experiences to the surreal worlds you’ll interact with as you move beyond the House itself. I don’t want to go into too much detail on the experience since the House gives back what you bring, and spoilers remove that sense of wonder. (I even consider not sharing pics.)

I came away feeling inspired by the whole thing and thought it’d be great to someday recreate a corner of Lovat for readers to explore in person. Will it ever happen? I don’t know. My “Old Haunts” project is a small attempt at capturing some of that, and while I love them, being able to do it in person would be so rich and satisfying. Imagine standing outside Russel & Sons with rain dropping down around you, muffled jazz blaring from somewhere above, and the smell of spicy noodles cooking from a push cart down the street. Rad idea, right?

House of Eternal Return isn’t Meow Wolf’s only project. They have another installation that went live this year, and more experiences are planned for the future (Denver and eventually Washington D.C.). We’re already looking at a trip to Las Vegas for one reason: visit Omega Mart. Think cosmic horror as a grocery store chain, and you’d be on track. (Check out some of their ads.) It all sounds as creepy and weird and wonderful as I’d hope. I am excited to explore its aisles in the future.

New Mexico Highlands

On a whim, we decided to leave Santa Fe behind and head out into the country. We did this a decade ago, heading northwest toward Abiquiú and the Ghost Ranch. This time we headed northeast toward Taos. Early-summer storms were sweeping across the land, and you could watch enormous dark clouds trailing tails of rain and shadow for miles. For some reason, I expected more of the high desert environment like what I saw ten years previous. But the land toward the northeast was very different to that of the west, it rose suddenly. As we left the desert behind, we found ourselves in the foothills of the Sangre de Cristo Range of the Southern Rocky Mountains. I’ve grown up among the Rocky’s most of my life. But driving north along highway 68 and looking across the vast Taos plateau and seeing the gorge carved by the Rio Grande was utterly breathtaking. I’ve seen deep valleys before, but never one carved in such flat and open land and from such a height. I still find myself reflecting on that view. Seeing the ground opened up that way was like staring into the vastness of time.

The Río Grande Gorge from the Taos Overlook, off State Road 68 near the “horseshoe.” Photo from the Taos News.

Instead of continuing East across the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge, we decided to loop up into the mountains. We found ourselves in Carson National Forest, taking the High Road to Taos scenic byway back to Santa Fe. This is proper mountain country, think tall trees, deep valleys, tiny communities tucked away into hollows, and vast untouched stretches of forest for miles and miles. It all felt closer to home. Beautiful, but not at all what I anticipated.

So Much More

Santa Fe and the surrounding land can be a bit surreal at times. Modern art and interactive art experiences exist alongside deep history. The Palace of the Governors, erected in 1610, is the oldest public building in continuous use in America. Just down the street is the San Miguel Mission, the oldest church in the United States. Outside of Taos is the Taos Pueblo, the oldest continuously inhabited community in the United States, originating sometime between 1000–1450 A.D. and not discovered by Europeans until the sixteenth century. And that only scratches the surface of what you can find in this small section of the state. This doesn’t even begin to cover other places in New Mexico we were unable to visit, locations like White Sands, Roswell, Carlsbad Caverns, Shiprock, Trinity, the burning of Zozobra, Los Alamos, and so much more. There is a density of wonder here and New Mexico doesn’t hold back and is very much worth your attention.

Advice & Tips

You’re going to want to rent a car, this is big country. That said when in town, be willing to walk. There’s so much to see in Santa Fe, and unexpected places are often found on foot.

Eat everything. Try new dishes. Explore New Mexican cuisine. Fear no chile. Don’t be put off by location. Sometimes the smallest trucks tucked into the quietest corners can have the best tacos.

Scenic byways are your friend in Western States and New Mexico is full of them (High Road to Taos, Turquoise Trail, Santa Fe Trail, among many many others). While slower than major freeways, these routes will give travelers glimpses into a New Mexico easily missed by tourists. The extra time is worth it.

This was my fourth trip into New Mexico, my second to Santa Fe, and easily my favorite of the bunch. Each time I visit, the trips get a little longer, and each time I return I wish I had stayed a few more days. The name “Land of Enchantment” is a fitting one. The terrain there is haunting, rich in history and legend, and it calls to the traveler to take time and explore its wonders.

I’m not going to lie, it’s weird to travel right now, even fully vaccinated. People are rightly nervous, business hours are funky, and what we thought of as “normal” has changed significantly. Traveling at the end of a pandemic requires a lot of patience and copious amounts of kindness and empathy. We’re in a transitional period, and those can be both interesting and weird to navigate. However, it’s still worth it to get away for a time, and allow oneself to experience the world again. It was good to return to New Mexico, and a shame to have waited so long to return. Here’s hoping our next visit comes sooner rather than later.

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yellow-like-sunflowers · 3 years

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Show Your True Colors

**Previously posted this on Instagram, added more to this post**

Ok, so I saw this and it totally resonated with me. When I was around 9-13, I was the most awkward kid. I can still be, especially when I get nervous (I have a hilarious story for later 😅) I didn't know what the heck to do with my hands while walking, my body was changing and I didn't like the attention, the changes etc. I still remember the gross men that would look at me and would stare shamelessly, I probably covered myself because I didn't like the unwanted stares and attention. I got my first period when I was 12, and I remember I immediately started crying. I just felt weird in my own body, my world was rapidly changing and I was transitioning from a little girl to a teenager, all of a sudden my imagination wasn't fun enough. My dolls and barbies were useless to me and the world that I had created for them (and for myself) slowly crumbled away. My dad bought me a MacBook and I discovered the Sims, books and social media. Aannd I also became OBSESSED with One Direction, so yeah, #Directioner4evah, am I right? My friends and I would go crazy every single time they released a new music video and would only talk about them. I would SPAM the shit out of my friends' social media timeline, so I'm very surprised that (some)of them didn't block or unfriend me.

Going back to what Kristen wrote, I stopped being super outgoing with strangers and would only act like myself behind closed doors with people who were super close to me. Outside of my "safe space" I wouldn't let my guard down. I have always tried to look "pretty" and "composed", I blame Catholicism. Even today, I can be cold and be rigid because I'm worried about how people may view me. So the less vulnerable I look, the more I feel protected, which sucks, I know..I'm working on it.

Ok, so here's the funny story: When I'm nervous or anxious, I start shaking like a freaking chihuahua, and I have to tell people that I'm cold, and it works because they usually believe me, lol. I also start doing weird things with my lips, like biting or smacking them because I'm extremely nervous 😂 So back in March, I went out on a date with a guy and I was so anxious that I was a.total.mess. I think the poor guy was so weirded out that I'm pretty sure I made him feel uncomfy, 😂 so of course, he sent me the typical "I wish you the best" text the next day; I mean, I get it. So yeah, you guessed it, we never spoke again. yay! :D Another failed dating experience, but I get it, even I cringe when thinking about the date because it was a disaster. He wasn't, I was.

You know what really sucks? I felt so ugly that day, I have brown eyes so I made sure to wear makeup that would make my eyes "pop", I chose a horrible green eyeshadow (because I read it on the internet, it was either green or purple -_-) and wore a lot of makeup that I don't usually wear, like I even used highlighter, I HATE highlighter. So I felt like a total clown 🤡 it.was.horrible.

I wanted to wear my indie-hipster-flowy outfit that I had chosen, and my brother was like, "Ewww, you look so weird, you need to look HOT". So I let him pick an outfit.Ughh, so of course I wasn't myself, I was trying so hard for this dude to like me that I got too worried and nervous. I have realized something really messed up about myself, when I like a guy, I'm never myself, I get too shy and self-conscious, so I start being super awkward. And when I don't like a guy, I'm so myself because I honestly don't give a fudge if they like me or not. So that's why guys who are into me are not the ones I like, and those who are into me, I consider my friends and would never date them, because they're like family, duh. This guy that I went out on a date with was really nice, but I didn't feel like I could get my guard down or felt like I could be myself. Anyways, the date was a learning experience for me. I've always known that the right people will notice when I start acting anxious and nervous and accept it, my friends and I laugh at the weird shit I do. I also know that the right guy will not mind green eyeshadow and my "awkwardness" when I get anxious. He'll see me underneath all that ugly makeup and will give me his jacket when I say I'm cold, even though he will know I'm just shaking because I'm nervous. (Hi soulmate, I'm talking about you, hurry the F up)

The moral of the story is that we have to unapologetically be ourselves, we have to shine our light brighter so that those with a similar light can find us! 😊 Always remember, those who are truly meant to be part of your life will find you fascinating, even when you're feeling like a clown. They will look at you like you're a work of art, they will make you feel like you're magic! Just the same way you'll look at them!

Pic Credits: Kristen Robinson on Instagram as @ NakedWriting

Also, I found this article and it makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one who starts shaking like jelly or a Chihuahua when anxious :) HERE

#sunflower #anxiety #anxious #anxietyattack #dates #dating #datingstory #funnystory #niceguys #truecolors #showyourtruecolors #beyourself #beyou #lifequotes #life #lifeadvice #baddates #instagram #iswearimnotweirdimjustanxious

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carot-dj · 7 years

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Fabulous text and photos of one of the world's most interesting and important regions. I bought this for my wife for Christmas. Although it was far from her most expensive gifts, it was the one that got the greatest accolades and attention. Go to Amazon

Wonderful Addition to Our Library I saw this book in the National Geographic museum book store and decided to see if it was less expensive on Amazon. Well you know the answer to that! I've gone through the book looking at the pictures and checking the chapter subjects. It's really a great book. There are maps and current day pictures as well as short written descriptions of the bible stories and historical events along with archaeological findings, etc. I think it will be a great addition to our library and will be fun to match up the bible stories. Go to Amazon

Great modern overview of the Holy Land Great stuff about the holy land. There are loads of up-to-date, color pics with excellent info about the land & people, then & now. Go to Amazon

Great resource I started trying to read through my Bible a couple of months ago. To help understand things more, I got this book. It is a great resource for those studying the Bible or biblical history. I am more of a visual person, so seeing the pictures helps me to understand the Bible more and make the connections. I also love the historical value of this book. It is so fascinating reading the history of the people around the time of the Bible. This book taught me so much about the culture of the time that the Bible was written. Go to Amazon

Five Stars This is a beautiful book, great paper quality, great photos, coffee table quality. Go to Amazon

Great Book Graphics If you want an easy to read book to better understand the bible get this book. I like how quickly I can refresh my memory and also learn more details regarding the stories in the bible. The maps and special note plates are what really makes this book work for me. I think it is very important to know the geography and timeline and the book excels in this regard. Well written and layed out as well. Go to Amazon

My husband loved it so much that I bought one for my ... We purchased 2 books. My husband loved it so much that I bought one for my cousin. Go to Amazon

I did not find this particularly easy going. This a personal subject in terms of your preference for maps, history, archeology and writing style. I preferred the atlas in our local library. I suggest any buyer does some research before buying. I did not find this particularly easy going. Go to Amazon

Five Stars Five Stars Three Stars CAPTIVATING Five Stars Five Stars Disappointed. Do NOT recommend! Five Stars Four Stars Great Buy

#Bruce Chilton: 9781426201387: Amazon.com: Books

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