TBOSAS on Crack short take (69)
*Code names are for losers*
Festus: Yo, guys-
Lysistrata: Not now, Creed.
Festus: Just hear me out.
Sejanus: Bro, be quiet. Someone might hear us.
Festus: It’s very important.
Coryo: No. We’re going to do our history homework today-
Festus: Really, Coryo? Inside the school gymnasium?
Coryo: Unfortunately.
Festus: But you could always finish that stupid paper tomorrow-
Coryo: Professor Demigloss said that whoever passes their homework first gets a day off from school.
Festus: But it’s the middle of the night and we are about to commit a crime against Dr. Gaul!
Coryo: Creed, calm down. It’s not the end of the world. We’re just here to steal that crazy woman’s plans for this year’s Hunger Games.
Festus: Which is a crime! A dangerous crime!
Coryo: That we’ve all agreed to commit together.
Sejanus: And forever.😍
Io: I’m so excited! This is my first time committing such a heinous act! I feel so rebellious-
Vipsania: Don’t say that word. It’s forbidden.
Io: Rebellious.☺️
Vipsania: *gasp* She said it again!
Coryo: We’ll be fine.
Festus: But still!
Coryo: I don’t care. I’m getting that day off with my boyfriend.
Sejanus: Me and Coryo are going to go on a super secret romantic date. Afterwards, we’re going to-
Lysistrata: F*ck.
Sejanus: Obviously.
Coryo: This is why we shouldn’t finish each other’s sentences.
Festus: You two are going on a secret romantic date without me?!
Coryo: Fortunately.
Festus: But I want to go on that date too!
Hilarius: Can I join? I wanna take some cute candid photos of Coryo-
Coryo: Ew. No. Go away.
Hilarius: I’ll give you 20 bucks.
Coryo: Not enough.
Festus: How about we all go on a double date instead!
Coryo: A double date with who?
Festus: With me and Percy-
Hilarius: And me!😀
Sejanus: No! My Snowy and I need our ✨alone time✨ too!
Coryo: We’re going to-
Felix: F*ck. We know.
Festus: But I wanna go on a date with you guys!😫
Felix: Bro, lower your voice. No one knows we’re here, remember?
Festus: But-
Androcles: Shhhh! Do you hear that?
Coryo: Hear what?
Androcles: I think I heard someone or something squeaking-
Festus: That’s just my precious Odysseus.
Androcles: Who’s Odysseus?
Festus: My freaky pet rat.
Vipsania: Creed, I told you not to bring your ugly fat rat to school!
Festus: Sickle, my bro, don’t be like that. My Ody just wanted to run around and get some fresh air. That’s all.
Vipsania: Not inside the school gymnasium! I workout, eat, and sleep here for Panem’s sake!
Felix: Ney Ney, why do you even live here? Last time I checked, you and your super buff family live in a huge luxurious house that looks like a gym.
Vipsania: Yeah. However, my very competitive and delusion mother kicked me out last year.😞
Felix: Why? What did you do?
Vipsania: She thinks that I’m an enemy of the state for having more track and field medals than her. So she kicked me out.
Gaius: That’s wild, bro.
Domitia: Girl, your mother’s insane.
Hilarius: My parents kicked me out too. Now I live in a dumpster with Creed and his rats.😊
Festus: You don’t even pay rent.😒
Hilarius: I will. . . Someday.
Pup: How the mighty have fallen.
Florus: Sorrows and prayers.
Hilarius: Thanks-
Florus: Not you, Heavensbee. I’m giving my condolences to Ney Ney.
Vipsania: I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I still have my auntie Sickle.
Festus: Anyways-
Coryo: Babe, what’s the answer to question 7?
Sejanus: Read it for me, my love.😍
Coryo: Who is the current mayor of District 2?
Sejanus: Mr. Rocky Rock O’Rolly.
Coryo: Thanks, Babe.
Lysistrata: Is he a good person?
Sejanus: Mr. O’Rolly is not even a person. He’s just a piece of rock.
Lysistrata: Like literally?
Sejanus: He’s very solid.
Lysistrata: So a piece of rock is currently the mayor of District 2.
Sejanus: He’s been the mayor since we were in grade school.
Gaius: And nobody said anything?!
Dennis: Bro, where did your people even find Mr. Rocky Rock O’Rolly?
Sejanus: A random hobo found him “sitting” inside a cave 4 days before the election.
Urban: Who the f*ck would vote for a piece of rock?
Sejanus: Don’t judge my District! They’re trying their best!
Urban: To ruin their lives!
Coryo: Canville, shut up. We don’t have the right to judge them.
Urban: I can judge whoever I want!
Coryo: We literally voted a fluffy fat cat to be our official Capitol Mayor a few months ago.
Urban: But to be fair, Boa Bell is a good Mayor.
Sejanus: Mr. Rocky Rock O’Rolly is also a good Mayor, Ban Ban!
Urban: Is he cute?
Sejanus: No. He’s an ugly rock.
Urban: Can he respond back to you?
Sejanus: No.😞
Urban: That’s what I thought.
Pup: But don’t forget, the true leaders of Panem are a bunch of dogs.
Felix: They’re not just an ordinary bunch of dogs though. They’re-
Pup: A “sacred” pack of Bichon Frisé puppies. We get it.
Clemensia: Pup, does it bother you that your father is taking orders from a literal fur baby?
Pup: No. He loves it.
Festus: But seriously, guys-
Everyone: Creed, no.
Festus: Creed, yes!
Coryo: Ugh. Fine! Fire away.
Festus: Yey! So I was thinking-
Persephone: We’re now thinking?
Festus: No, not really. But since we’re going to stop the Hunger Games forever and save our Tributes from killing each other, we should start with creating our ✨code names✨.
Coryo: Code names?
Festus: Yeah! Code names like Class Pres-
Felix: “Class Pres” is not a code name, Creed. It’s short for Class President.
Festus: Yeah, right. Whatever you say, Class Pres.
Io: I’m with Creed on this one. Having code names are fun!
Juno: For what?
Io: For ✨Operation Felix✨!
Livia: Ew. Code names are for losers. I’m going with ✨Sparkly Sparkly 123✨.
Festus: That’s too long. Make it shorter.
Livia: Fine.🙄 I’m ✨Hot Pink✨.
Palmyra: I’m Monty-
Festus: No. you can’t have “obvious” code names.
Palmyra: Ok. I’m Palmyra-
Festus: Ugh! You guys are so bad at this.
Palmyra: But I’m Palmyra Monty-
Festus: I’ve decided that I’ll be the one to give you guys your code names.
Felix: That’s not fair-
Festus: Felix, you’ll be Hello Kitty.
Felix: I do love Hello Kitty.
Festus: Coryo, you’re Cabbage Soup.
Coryo: What?!
Festus: Sejanus, you’ll be Sugar Daddy.
Sejanus: Coryo’s sugar daddy.🥰
Festus: Palmyra, you’ll be Deadly Pie.
Palmyra: I’m Monty-
Festus: Livia, we all know you’re Hot Pink.
Livia: Obviously.
Festus: Florus, you can be Introvert John.
Florus: That- that actually makes sense.
Festus: Jasper, you’ll be Nuclear Lover.
Io: Ok!😊
Festus: Urban-
Urban: No.
Festus: You’re Anger Issues.
Urban: F*ck you.
Festus: Percy, you’re-
Persephone: Cannibal.☺️
Festus: No.
Coryo: She’s Cannibal, Creed. Deal with it.
Festus: Fine. Dennis, you’ll be Illegal Man Juan.
Dennis: Nice!
Festus: Iphigenia, you’re Super Mart.
Iphigenia: Isn’t that obvious?
Festus: Fine. You can be Skeletor.
Iphigenia: But-
Festus: Apollo, you’ll be Sunshine Valley.
Apollo: Yey!
Festus: Diana-
Diana: I’m Moony!
Festus: Ok. Ney Ney, you’re Buff Baby.
Vipsania: I can live with that.
Festus: Pup, you’ll be Commando Sleeper.
Pup: Cool.
Festus: Juno, you’re-
Juno: Princess Peach.
Festus: Princess B*tch?
Juno: Princess Peach, dumbass!
Festus: Fine! You’re Princess Witch! Happy?!
Juno: Like I care.🙄
Festus: Hilari, you’re-
Hilarius: Queen Bee! I’ll be Queen Bee!
Festus: Fine. Gaius, you’ll be-
Gaius: Zoolander!
Felix: That doesn’t make sense.
Gaius: My family owns the zoo.
Felix: That still doesn’t make sense-
Festus: Zoolander it is.
Gaius: That’s right!
Festus: Andie, you’ll be Catch Me If You Can.
Androcles: Nice!
Festus: Tia, you’re-
Domitia: Cheese Maiden!
Festus: Why?
Domitia: My family sells cheese.
Festus: Your family sells milk-
Domitia: And the best cheese.
Festus: Right. Arachne, you’re- Where’s Arachne?
Coryo: She’s asleep.
Festus: Good. She’ll be Spoon On My Nose.
Clemensia: She won’t like that-
Festus: She’s Spoon On My Nose. End of story.
Clemensia: She’ll kill you.
Festus: She won’t. Clemmie, you’ll be Blood Orange.
Clemensia: I rather be-
Festus: Blood Orange, do you copy?
Clemensia: Copy?
Festus: Good! Lizzie, you’ll be Droug Deleour-
Lysistrata: That’s too obvious! Call me something else.
Festus: Drug Delecour?
Lysistrata: Let’s stick with Droug Deleour. I’m Droug Deleour.
Felix: How about you, Creed? What’s your code name?
Festus: I’m-
Livia: Garbage?
Juno: Dumbass!
Dennis: Rat Boy!
Coryo: Cheesecake!
Sejanus: Burger!
Festus: No! I’m Eagle One!
Everyone: Heck, no!
Festus: Fine. I’ll go with Garbage Man 123.😔
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hi you should talk more about your blue ring Pac headcanons (it's really cool and I like it a lot)
YIPPEEYIPPEEYIPPEEYIPPEE KISSING U ON THE MOUTH RN MWAH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT HIM
ok so first and foremost as I've said I imagine him having the spots on his face neck and shoulders, i think he'd have them on all of his joints too though. The spots are normally dark yellow/brown when theyre at rest but thats BORING so i hc that the blue in his are always somewhat visible but when startled or threatened they glow brighter and expand. this video is a good visual reference (watch it its neat)
I imagine that along with the spots the rest of his skin would get a bit darker like the octopus does! i also imagine that his skin would be bumpy/textured the way they are, especially around his browbone and temples.
He can't entirely change his shape the way an octopus can, he's still mostly human in function and his muscles are as unyielding as anyone elses most of the time - but when he wants to he can stretch out to make himself look bigger and more threatening, and he's unnaturally flexible enough to slip through small cracks and crevices. it's... really freaky to watch. of course his metal leg poses a challenge since it can't be as fluid as the rest of him, but he's tricky enough to get it through most of the time. If he really needs to hide in a small space and it won't give he can always just detach it
He has crevice dweller instincts, so whenever he needs comfort or security his first instinct is to squeeze himself into the smallest space he can. He habitually piles whatever he can find outside of the space and outside of the door to his room/bases like the real life octopus piles rocks outside its home
He doesn't have tentacles, but his hands and fingers are covered in tiny almost invisible suckers that have surprising grip strength - not enough to stick him to walls spiderman style, but enough that he never drops anything and if he's holding your hand it takes notable effort to detach yourself
Blue ring octopuses carry two toxins (probably??? theres some dispute) - one that paralyses prey thats present in their saliva, and an incredibly potent neurotoxin in that they use for defense and acts both as a poison to predators and as injectible venom- they're one of the deadliest animals on earth in relation to their size. Pac has both of these but less potent, a hard enough bite from him will result in some nausea, dizziness, and weakened/paralyzed muscles if he breaks skin (his teeth are just a TINY bit too sharp to be normal by human standards, but not enough to tear through muscle) but it wont Kill you. and making out with him will give you a few spasms and a bit of weakness/dizziness - fit learns this the hard way, and pac apologizes profusely but because he's pac fit is actually really into it which is kinda weird but hey what are you supposed to do when your boyfriend has toxic saliva other than develop a kink for it (sorry for making it about fitpac it will happen again)
also because BROs carry their venom all throughout their body theyre immune to their own toxin and most other toxins in the same group, so Pac probably has a higher poison resistance than a normal human would
He's a really strong swimmer of course, unnaturally strong for how the prosthetic should weigh him down. Since he still has human shaped limbs what he does isnt quite jet propulsion, but its somwhere between that and normal swimming. I cannot describe the movement im imagining so like just watch the video and try to recreate the Vibes with a human shaped body and you'll get to the same place i am
ok that's kinda all i have there isn't really that much to go off of just because the nature of the octopus makes it kinda hard to study them in depth so we only really know the basics of their behavior, the only other thing i can think of is more of a fun fact which is that their venom is actually produced via a symbiotic relationship with bacteria that lives in their mouth! can't really do much with that in terms of applying it to a character headcanon but its pretty cool right
also i am kinda torn between the normal human mouth with toxic saliva and a normal human mouth that's actually just a front and can unhinge to reveal a horned beak and tentacles hidden inside (if u dont know octopus body plan is basically head with mouth at the bottom and then the tentacles surround it, and it feeds by using the tentacles to pull food in towards the beak which it uses to puncture it and inject venom) I kinda do love that cuz it's freaky and eldrich but on the other hand there is literally no physical way that could ever make any sense so... idk you can decide for yourself lol
thank you again for giving me an excuse to flesh out this headcanon i love it so so much im glad im not the only one that finds it interesting
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DAY 4: JANUARY 17, 2024
(i um. was a little busy. oops.)
STATS:
read for ~2 hrs
pages read: 860-1052. 192 pgs. reached pg 1000! wooo!!!
slur count: 6 + 2 = 8 (rose narration, john. both r slur)
silly count: 10 + 1 = 11 (john about roses building)
piss count: 1/3
THOUGHTS:
today started with jade's freshjamz!!!!!!!!! I LOVE!!! i mean dave kind of sucks at making music but jade doesnt! i love how homestuck shows the works of the characters. jades music daves blogs caliborns deviantart whatever. it makes them feel so REAL.
figured out the time differences! if we're staying at johns timezone, dave is 2 hrs ahead and rose is 3 hrs ahead. and jade is 4 hrs ahead!!!! when we were dave pov a convo with jade was at 6:30pm but at jade pov it was 12:30pm so you know.
the exiles are FINALLY MEETING UP!!!! PM!!!!!!!!! i looove pm shes what makes me want to be a mailman. what the hell are the snake worm things in pm's like structure? whats it called? with the terminal. theyre awful silly but theyre kind of freaky and i dont know what they are.
john faq i always read the faqs theyre so fun. john try not to mention your friends by irl name on public forum challenge (even if he assumes everyone else is dead lol). i do NOT understand alchemizing mostly cus i dont get binary. but whatever. maybe i will someday
KARKAT VANTAS! i think the first mentions of the trolls are here! yaaay!
dave strife theyre still strifing i didnt get to the end yet. s beatdown or whatever. always interesting to me that dave never gets sliced or anythign even though theyre fighting with ultra sharp swords. how much restraint is bro (strider) showing? the fights ARE intended to be strengthening dave. but they dont. cus hes a kid and hes passive. im a sucker for bro strider i know he sucks but ugh i love dirk too much
mom lalondes lab drives me coocoo crazy. pov youre rose you go under your dead cats big ass mausoleum and find a laboratory your mother uses. theres 1 battery unlocked just for you. theres a giant ass monitor showing sburb sessions and meteors. did your mother know? did your mother know what was going to happen? youre thirteen years old. do you know? theres bright pink kiddy furniture. did your mother use it? when did she get it? it looks pristine. did she sleep in this when she was little? did she sleep in it as an adult? why would she buy herself such a thing at an adult age? youre rose lalonde. youre thirteen and full of hatred. you dont understand anything. you wear your mothers scarf and you pick up a stray mutant cat and name it after a drink your alcoholic mother loves. youre thirteen and full of hatred and you dont understand anything and you want to, so badly. so so badly.
jade is awesome her scampering through the house rocks. i wonder if she actually believes pa harley is talking to her, or if he actually is, or if shes just pretending. it has to be because of trauma, right? is she genuine? she has to be genuine. right? fosmf if you know anything about this let me know
jack noir... midnight crew.... oh how i cant wait for the intermission.
johns various mental breakdowns (over the discovery of his dads room; over betty crocker gushers; over the drawings over his posters) are insane. he lashes out so weirdly. dave said like john never gets mad or frustrated over real big stuff and he instead funnels it into tiny meaningless problems. i wonder what that means. im not into john enough to read into it or know
jade (and dirk by extension) waking up on prospit (or derse) early makes me thiiiink. i wonder if theyd get freaked by regular normal dreams. they god tier and sleep and wake up in a cold sweat Hello? Where am i. Hello? I just slept and nothing was there. Where am i
thinking about rose + jade a lot these first few acts. i looove rose and i looove jade. i focused on jade a lot the first time i read so im trying to focus on rose more because shes AWESOME! and i want to get to know her better. she deserves it. but anyway thats enough for today sorry for taking like a 12 day break lol
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