#rika discourse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

marshmallowprotection · 1 year

Note

Do you think Rika had an actually desire to be close to MC or was she just trying to hurt V and or control Searan through us?

See, this is a tough question to answer because it ties into a question about Rika’s wants and desires that can only be encapsulated if you put in the time to learn everything about her... from the diary content in the packages you can buy, the flashbacks in every route, and her DLC.

It's not one of those things where I can definitively tell you the answer since there are many factors that go into what she wants and what she needs. In some regard, you could say that both of these things play into it but it's not one or the other. It might feel like there is a sense of totality in this situation but there is not.

So, to answer this question, I’m going to talk at length about a lot of things that most people don’t. I’ll start with the way Rika feels about V and go from that to show you more.

So, what is V to Rika?

If we want to go with the simple answer, you can go ahead and say that he is the sun. You could say that he is the light she imagined when she was stuck in such a dark place. Growing up, she was adopted by a family that abused her in more ways than one. The amount of religious shame and trauma placed upon her Shoulders by her adopted mother is not something to scoff at.

When she did not live up to the expectations that her adoptive mother wanted from her, she was screamed at, locked away, and told repeatedly that she was the devil. She started to believe she was the devil. it didn't matter how hard she tried or what she did to be a better person, she was never good enough. That was just the start of what she went through as a child.

At some point, her adopted mother decided that it was a good idea to give her personal sessions with the pastor. Her mother claimed that it was a good thing that she could be close to God in this way. It was her attempt at trying to cleanse her daughter of everything she imagined to be the devil. However, that Pastor was a monster of a man and did unspeakable things to Rika.

Both of these things together ultimately accumulated on her shoulders. Until one day, when Rika decided she couldn’t take it anymore because her mother hated Sally and threatened her dog, she decided that she would fight back.

She walked right into the church and claimed to be that devil that would destroy all of them. If any of them dared to hurt her or Sally, she would bring hell upon them and nothing could stop her from doing so. She decided that she could be a so-called devil if it meant that she could protect herself. if they were going to call her that, she knew that she could be that if only briefly.

That was the start of a long and arduous process. It was that decision to feel as though she was the devil that would ultimately lead to her downfall emotionally. After that point, we all know what she started to do for herself. She started to do volunteer work to feel like she could do something good for the world and distract himself from the way that she felt like the devil.

She didn't have a therapist or anybody to turn to to deal with her feelings, and that made it hard for her to confront anything that she had gone through. The only thing that she could do was mask herself. She could pretend that she was okay and for a long time, she thought that if she continued to do that, it would eventually make her feel that way genuinely.

We all know that's not the way it works. She masked for a long time, keeping hard at helping others as best as she could. She met with her cousin Yoosung eventually and inspired him with that mask, then she met Saeyoung and fought to gain his trust because she’d seen her hurt in his eyes.

And then, she met V on a field-trip she had taken with the church. She went to support Saeyoung who got to witness something interesting for a change, and at that place, she V’s photos for the first time in person. It was like a switch went off in her head. She couldn't believe the way that those photographs made her feel. It was as if someone had painted stars with everything she’d ever experienced in her entire life.

She was inspired and impassioned by the way it made her feel. In the midst of that, she also discovered V’s photos for the first time. It didn't take long before she became obsessed with the way that they made her feel, but she knew that she needed to see it in person.

Rika’s Diary:

A lot of people haven't delved into her Diaries so they do not know the context for these things. As you can see, while she feels a strong admiration and love for Jihyun Kim, there’s something else inside of her heart. It's not that she's falling in love with him. She cares for him but it is not the feeling of somebody who is in love with another person. He makes her feel something she's never felt before and she loses herself inside of that.

She lets her feelings get the better of her as she decides his photographs make her feel like... it should be the same way that he makes her feel. If she loves his photos and they make her feel alive... seen... happy... shouldn’t he make her feel the same way?

The way that she describes how he makes her feel is a lot more complex than being in love with someone. It's as if she's clinging to the idea that being in love with someone can fix the way she feels. After she kisses him, she mentions that she's heard before that showing off your beloved to someone else can make you feel good. She's working on assumptions that everything can be better if she just has the sun. If she just has the person that makes her feel as though the sun can protect her from her devil.

But, as you can see, the longer she's with him in a romantic relationship and trying to build a life with him, you notice that it's less about being in love with him, and it's more about wanting to become him. She wants to be him. She wants to become Jihyun Kim. She doesn't want to be herself and she doesn't want to be the person that is in love with him. She wants to be him. She thinks that all of the problems she feels would go away if she was inside him.

If she could be the artist that builds her sun and makes it feel safe.

She doesn’t want to be the shades of darkness that pool in her heart. She wants to be the sun.

These are the thoughts that are going on inside of her head that nobody knows about completely unless they have dived into who she is. When you think about what's happening as she's feeling this way, some of the pieces start to come together, don't they? V finds out about her innermost demons the longer they’re together… and he decides that he wants to help her because of his own trauma and neglect he went through. He hasn't even begun to unpack what happened to him and that adds on to how this situation becomes embroiled in a mess.

There is no other way to describe it but a mess. She tries to get therapy through his help, but the therapy doesn’t make it better because who she's working with doesn't seem to care.

She's only in therapy for a few weeks before she gives it up. She doesn't have a therapist who wants to commit themselves to helping her sort through all of the things that she has suffered, and that on top of the way that she copes with her emotions and the way that V tries to redirect her pain… Well, it’s a damn cry for help. V tells her to destroy him to cope with her devil, and she continues to push herself into that realm to handle her darkness. Their relationship was toxic on both ends, but I won't get too heavy into that since we all understand that they hurt and pushed each other in countless ways.

Make no mistake, Rika made her choices and she had many chances to stop. This post is not excusing any of her actions. There were a million ways she could’ve made a different decision and stepped away from what was happening. But, to understand why things happened the way they did, we have to understand what factors went into it and what was going on inside of her head.

I won’t get too deep in Mika since most people don’t even know who Mika is since they haven’t done Rika’s Behind Story, but the long of the short of it is simple. There’s a second party in Rika’s ears, pushing her devil and nudging those insecure and frantic thoughts of hers until she cracks. The combination here of V and Rika’s horrible relationship, Rika’s struggle with mental health, Mika’s hand on Rika’s shoulder ultimately pushed Rika into a corner where it happened.

She cracked.

The moment of no return happened when Rika killed Mother Choi in self-defense and blacked out.

That was the moment when there was no turning back in this game. It became proof that she was the Devil in her eyes, and nothing would change that. You know the rest of it, she decided that she needed to become Saeran’s mother to save him like she wanted to be saved as a child, she and Mika started to build Mint Eye together until Mika’s death, and V and Rika’s relationship collapsed as neither of them could do a thing for the other but self-destruct.

When it comes to V, Rika wants to be him.

So, you could say that her obsession with the player in V Route stems from that. The minute he takes an interest in you is the minute she wants to know more about you. Before that, there wasn't much thought she put into you. But if you'll pay close attention to the way that she tries to get into your head, you'll notice that it's because she wants to better get a grasp on V.

She still wants to be him in many ways but there's no way for her to verbalize that feeling. She's not trying to get close to you to prove that she can hurt V. She knows she can hurt him. She's getting closer to you because he wanted to be close to you. She wants everything that he has because that was the idea of happiness and perfection in her eyes.

Why do you think when V finally realizes what their relationship was… he calls it an obsession? It might be bold to say but they were never really in love with each other. They were obsessed with the idea of what the other could bring to them. It's possible that they thought they were in love with each other but that's not really what it was.

He was looking for an artistic muse that could help him feel as though he was finally together. He found something in her that made sense and it pushed him to feel like he could be more than his father ever was. She found the sun in his eyes and it was all she ever wanted. What she wanted from him was what the photographs made her feel in the first place.

They were never going to get those things out of each other. it was always going to end up in an explosion. So, she wants to be close to you at first because V wants to understand more about you. In the context of that bad ending where you decide to side with her, she settles into her devil and decides that she can be herself as long as you are with her. But there's a part of me that knows she's going to keep chasing after the idea of what she imagines V to be.

She named the cult Mint Eye. She was the one who chose to name it after him and it's obvious that the way she handles things has greatly to do with how much she wants to become him.

Now, if you want to talk about Saeran, that’s a different thing. She wants to take him under her bosom because she got rid of his mother. She feels guilty for doing that even if it was an accident. It wasn't like they went to that house intending to get rid of her for good. Mother Choi threatened the two of them and in the heat of the moment, Rika responded.

The only thing they wanted to do was to make sure that she wouldn't make a fuss or get in the way of the two of them trying to get Saeran away from her for good. They were trying to do it in such a way that it wouldn't tip off Saejoong Choi. The guilt she feels over that action is not something to be discounted.

She truly does think of Saeran and Saeyoung as her sons in Another Story. It’s different when she’s too far gone in the cult mentality and loses sight of her original wants in OS/DP/SE. But, in the prior, she convinces herself that the best way to make amends with killing that woman would be to make sure that the boys were taken care of as a mother. If she became their mother and looked after them the way that they needed, she knew that she could make it right.

She convinced herself that that was the only way to make it right. It's this specific line of thinking that gets her on the path that ultimately leads to what we see in Saeran’s After Ending.

Her convoluted dream in that reality is to be able to have a family that cannot be taken away from her. Honestly, that's all she ever really wanted. All she ever wanted was to have a family that would be able to know her as she was and not be afraid of the things that she felt. But it is so hard to feel like you can open up to the people that you love and trust. That's why the RFA never really knew her the way that she was.

She was always too afraid to let go of the mask that she had been wearing for so long. But, V and the twins…? They know all facets of her at this point. That's why she makes the deal she does to be able to get the boys in her possession. It might not be the best reality but at least she can have the happy family she always wanted and the boys don't have to die. This gets mangled a bit when it comes to how she sees Saeran and Ray.

Ray is her perfectly molded son. That’s why she screams at GE Saeran that she wants him back.

In his route, we are no stranger to her weaponizing his affection towards us to try and control him. In that situation, it's because she wants to keep him close. He is not only useful to her as a tool, but as the lingering notion of a son. That would slowly lose itself over time. The further she falls into being the savior over time, the less she starts to see him as a son and more as a weapon for her personal gain for revenge.

She loses sight of everything she wanted by the time you get to romance the RFA instead of Ray and V. That's particularly why it hurts so much when she screams at Unknown during the Secret Ending she wanted to take Saeyoung instead… that she never wanted him. That's not actually the truth. But, there is so much nuance to this stuff. So, yes, she is willing to weaponize people in the name of getting what she wants, but that's not always the case because she can be a little wishy-washy with her own desires.

Now, do I think that she genuinely wants to be able to know the MC?

I think there are circumstances when she does want to get to know you. you remind her of the person she used to be, or at least the person that her mask was trying to be. In that sense, she knows you but she doesn't know you. She wants to know how you survive living that way. She wants to understand how you are the way you are.

If there is somebody that is just like the way she wanted to be, there's nothing more that she could want then to get inside of their head to know what makes them tick. I think she wants to know you for the sake of knowing herself. Do I think that that could be something that is good for her? In some ways, Yes. In other ways, no.

#ask #anon #mod kait #character analysis #rika kim #kim rika #do not send discourse or hate about rika. I am too tired to deal with that stuff.#mm #mysme #mystic messenger #mysticmessenger #rika mystic messenger #rika mysme #rika mm

24 notes · View notes

enby-axels · 2 years

Text

when i say fs is more than landing jumps, i mean it. rika, kaori, and wakaba can fall and pop jumps and still deserve to win over overscored american or russian girls with stiffly landed & cheated jumps and poor skating skills. yuzuru can fall and pop jumps and still deserve to win over overscored american boys and federation faves with empty programs, poor jump quality & tech, shallow edges, stiff knees, etc. sorry but their only current competitors who are comparable in terms of being complete package skaters are alena kostornaia and misha kolyada. none of this should be controversial lmfao

#figure skating #scoring discourse #rika kihira #yuzuru hanyu #alena kostornaia #mikhail kolyada #usaflation #rusflation #unoflation #kaori sakamoto #wakaba higuchi

106 notes · View notes

virgobingo · 5 months

Text

thinking about this and goddd satosugu is really so.. pure in the way that their connection thrives on its ambiguousness. the way their friendship bleeds into romantic affection, the momentous sensation of falling in love for the first time.. that is undercut by reality's ugliness (just like yuta and rika as children)

but since the world is still filled with ppl bogged down by labels, the profundity of their relationship, the space they live in— right in the middle of it all— is instead seen as a ground for discourse. so we get ppl dismissing geto's importance to gojo's life, in an attempt to distance him from something they, maybe without even realizing, associate with weakness

#when geto cannot be divorced from gojo *shakes the building*#and vice-versa #gege wrote them with each other in mind #x1738383 post #they parallel yuta and rika for a reason #satosugu

262 notes · View notes

andiftheycare · 13 days

Text

yes sure I see the dehumanisation discourse, I endorse it, but the whole jjk, thematically, has a lot about body autonomy and consent and becoming a monster (or having one at your side, re: Rika, except that this monster is of your own making) and being never seen as a human (see: Yuuji stopped being one when he ate Sukuna’s fingers, Megumi being sold for his technique, etc etc) and how power, at the end of the day, is what makes the hierarchy.

#jjk spoilers #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #I love when the ✨narrative✨ delivers thematically #I’m v simple #gojo satoru #itadori yuuji #okkotsu yuuta #megumi fushiguro

29 notes · View notes

spookyc · 1 year

Text

Not to start "discourse" with every fandom I start to hyperfixate on, but the shit around people headcanoning Penny as trans femme is driving me up the wall actually. All this about "GOD I guess we just can't have gender nonconforming characters anymore >:(" and it bothers me so much, not just from the sheer ignorance of the statement itself but also because there are TWO clear examples of gender nonconforming characters on both sides of the spectrum that these people love to ignore when bringing this statement up.

Like let's look at Rika, a character who uses she/her pronouns and yet is flat-chested and presenting far more masculine than feminine. I've seen a few players even mistake her for a guy at a first glance. And then you have Grusha, probably the best example the game has to offer. The guy has a soft face with longer hair and a larger coat and scarf that covers up a lot of his body, I don't think anyone I've seen play the games correctly identify him as a guy the first time they see him. Here, you have two characters who are already very gender nonconforming, so the argument of: "I guess we just can't have gender nonconforming characters anymore." is so stupid to me. You have two right there if you bothered to pay attention at all during the victory road path.

But another thing I wanna discuss is the assumption of Penny being gender nonconforming in the first place. Because I honestly think it's a very weak claim. Like. She literally wears a skirt. And an Eevee backpack. How is that in any way gender nonconforming? Is it because she has short hair? Because it's dyed? Because black is a primary color in her color scheme? Like everyone says she's gender nonconforming but I've yet to actually be explained how she is, because honestly? I don't think she's very gender nonconforming at all, or that she was even meant to be. Again, she's wearing a skirt and is female, that sounds pretty gender-conforming to me.

And yeah, skirts and certain clothing being gendered is stupid but if we are talking in the terms of gender conformity I have to consider these things, and when I do, her being gender-nonconforming really doesn't add up.

To conclude, let people headcanon whatever they want, ESPECIALLY the people of those groups, just because the headcanon is popular does not mean it is taking away from any other kind of representation, especially when that same representation is actually presented in the work. Penny is trans, and I rest my case.

#pokemon #pokèmon #discussion #pkmn #penny pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon sv #pokemon scarvi

152 notes · View notes

neonscandal · 8 months

Note

Hello...just want to say, so happy !! Finally my best friend who is anti-shipping in shounen (and love to make fun of me because I have ships in every shounen that I watched/read), said that he can't find any het explanation for Gojo/Geto and Bakugou/Midoriya relationships...

Especially when I showed him your posts (that is based in canon and so true). Thanks for sharing your wonderful posts....

What do you think about JJK s2 op1 and ed1? I can't believe when I reas that the op is about geto from gojo's perspective (so romantic)....

OH ANON. HAVE I GOT SOME BRAINROT FOR YOUUUU. I've also noticed some of my older Satosugu posts are attracting attention and subsequently feel like I need to just list out all the most tragic things about them that I hold dear in a separate post because you've basically prodded a festering wound within me.

Re: Your last ask (maybe the same person?), I really only tried to focus on stuff that's already been animated because I try to avoid spoiling the fun for everyone. 🥹✨

It's hilarious that Gojo/Geto and Bakugou/Midoriya are the two relationships that stick out specifically considering their creators intently make them complements of one another.

Gege Akutami cited specifically that Gojo and Geto were designed to be a duo in an interview with Mandou Koboyashi (shout out to twitter user @/soukatsu_ or @soukatsu here as the real MVP for translating and adding further context for other fans). Fans seem to recognize their yin and yang design everywhere. There are countless salt and pepper shaker videos set to Ricky Montgomery's "Mr. Loverman" on tiktok, I'm positive. This is despite being marked by their dissonance.

Kohei Horokoshi has Bakugou and Midoriya recognized as two halves of the same whole by other characters in the story, most remarkably All Might who in many ways carves the deepest chasm(s) between them. The wax and wane of their unique development as individuals being integrally related is also something to note.

But this isn't unique to these two stories. I haven't even watched Naruto but know that Naruto and Sasuke serve as the sun and the moon to one another (literally within the story, their seals and by design/disposition) and I'm sure we could find this in other shows I haven't hyperfixated on haha

There's probably nothing new I can add to the MLM shipping discourse in shonen/seinen genres that hasn't been said, especially when it's been so eloquently broken down by IG user @/ariavelz. I also think there's a fair amount of queerbaiting in mainstream media and anime alike. Five seasons of Free! comes to mind...

Now the MUSIC!? In JJK? Bestie.

S1 already had me gagged with this brain worm. But, the fact that the song playing during Yuta and Rika's final moment in the fight vs. Geto and subsequently during the final moments Gojo and Geto share in that alley in JJK 0 was called "This is Pure Love"??? That's when I knew there were some Satosugu's on staff at Mappa. I don't think we need to dig into the parallels of how Yuta's fondness for Rika being the catalyst for her becoming a curse was the same way Gojo's fondness subsequently led to Geto's "comeback". Gojo, based on his experience at the time, said "love is the most twisted curse of them all" and time showed him just how twisted it really could be in season 2.

NOW THE OP!? It's just so lonely. Their cursed techniques being at odds with one another is so tragic, in a sense, and ultimately creates this divergence from one another. Geto, a genius of diligence, nobly consumes and sullies himself with the curses he has to imbibe like a martyr. Gojo, a genius of happenstance, is pristine. Born into privilege and untouched by the need to work hard or literally touch curses which Geto later grows to resent.

Meanwhile, Gojo's largely a product of isolation as imposed by his status and cursed technique and "Ao no Sumika" or "Where Our Blue Is" by Tatsuya Akitani waxes on about how, despite his best efforts, he could never reach Geto. The irony. As the story continues, we do, in fact, see that Gojo's never changed in the canonically affectionate way he regarded Geto. I think about this dissonance a lot. Literally, how did your Six Eyes miss that?

We could have shared everything. // Little by little since that day, // The curse of me being different from you grew thicker. The sorrow behind your smile, // All the way, I’ve regretted missing it. // To you, who bloomed and fell away as a fruitless flower, // Farewell. Our blue still lives, // Our blue is still clear. // No prayer or word could ever reach you, // No matter how close they could get to you. // In such a color as if it were a silent love, // Or as if it were a summer rolling down a cheek. // I’ve got a curse word for you stuck in the back of my throat. It is the unvoiced voice that says, // “We’ll see each other again, won’t we?” // Like star grains in an infinitely expanding galaxy, // Spilling through the gaps between my fingers

Now, I initially assumed the EP was from Gojo's perspective because Geto only seemed to smile in his presence (who's blushing face are we trying to see, afterall?). However, it is said to be from Geto's perspective and that, too, makes sense. Two viewpoints acting as bookends of the history between them.

I think what's sad about it is the way in which Gojo's POV is centered wholly on Geto, regardless of who or what he became; whereas Geto's perspective is more broadly applied to Gojo in part but also his own turmoil and moral dilemma.

Part of why Geto is thrown into such chaos is because of his inherently principled existence and yet, he is still the moon to Gojo's sun (Naruto, what are you doing heree?). Where Gojo always held a place for Geto, I think Geto assumed that his radicalization and subsequent defection marked a departure from Gojo because he was never really one to exist in shades of grey. Even if his impetus for this new society was ultimately to protect Gojo (and others like him) in the only way he felt he could.

Before my goodwill crumbles away, // I should have told you everything. // In a life descending and dissolving into the night, // Fuzzy emotions, a flickering light. With nothing to search for, love sways. // Living while concealing, // Hence, the moon is dark, head in flight. // Today, unable to go anywhere. // Sleeping, sleeping towards a brand new morning, // Loneliness under crying Though I understand a wounded heart // Why do I end up hurting and leaving the same scars? // Labeling it as ego, grouping it all together, // The true essence of you and me, burning transparently. Longing for change, but the feelings stay the same, // Only the form crumbles away, // Holding onto the hand of hope, your ghost Realizing that something seemingly everywhere // Exists only here, // In the trivial silence of the night. // Only I, residing in memories, awaken It exists only here. // I want to touch you, // Even with trivial conversations. // Show me your blushing face once more...

Pardon me, anon, while I burst into flames after reflecting on all this. 🫠

Edit: just adding this visual for everyone because SAME. 🥹

26 notes · View notes

hutaoscoffinn · 1 year

Text

I usually stay out of online discourse and such because I do not have the bandwidth or patience to take part in it and would still not take part even if I did have the bandwidth but I’m fucking tired of this shit.

Can people stop misgendering Rika??? I’ve seen people who have played through the entire game and still call Rika a man and call her a guy and such when if you pay attention to the dialogue for more than five seconds it’s incredibly obvious that Rika is a woman and uses she/her pronouns. It isn’t that goddamn hard.

No she’s not a trans man, no she’s not a man. She is a fucking woman.

This whole vent doesn’t apply to people who say she’s nonbinary or headcanon her to be that way because Rika does give hardcore androgynous vibes but to the people that insist Rika is a man/identifies that way, shut up.

Women can have flat chests and are beautiful That way. Women can wear suits and are beautiful that way. Women do not have to always look feminine just to be considered valid women.

Just because Rika isn’t as hyper feminine as fucking Tulip doesnt mean she isn’t a woman. Stop claiming Rika is a man or wants to be seen that way when it’s obvious that she isnt.

Rika is really good representation for women and nonbinary people of different body types that usually are not represented in media ie. flatter chests, lanky, ect.

Stop insisting Rika is a man when fucking gamefreak themselves who created her call her a woman. She’s not a fucking dude good lord. Yall beg for representation or “tomboyish” girls and then call them men as soon as they don’t fit the hyperfeminized curvy standard you have been spoonfed.

And insisting Rika is a trans man just because she is androgynous and has a tomboyish vibe says a LOT about what you think about real androgyny and women who prefer to dress in “men’s clothes” and have a “tomboyish” vibe and who do not act like the “traditional” woman.

Stop being sexist bigoted fucks because when you say shit like that, even if you don’t mean to be sexist and bigoted, you are being that way and its not fucking cool. Use your goddamn brains and take context into consideration assholes.

Note: this is not against anyone who says they headcanon Rika as a trans woman or as a nonbinary individual because those are both valid headcanons, this is directly at those who insist Rika is a man or a transman or who still call Rika a guy simply because she does not adhere to traditional “beauty” standards. Also I don’t have anything against transmen, but claiming a female character is a transman simply because she does not look like a hyperfeminized woman is not okay and is bigoted as hell.

#coffinn.important #rika #pokemon rika

102 notes · View notes

away-ward · 11 months

Text

Note: I think this is "The Will Post" people reference sometimes, but I'm not sure. Here and Here are the links to the original Anon messages.

This was the first time I'd received a message like this and I didn't know how to response. Eventually, it became the norm for people leave me ranty messages about this series and it's characters. I usually got a kick out of them because you guys are hilarious, and then I'd tried to answer seriously because I like discussion and discourse. So, I developed the method of answering that is seen on other posts. I just wanted to make clear why this one looks different. I wasn't trying to single them out or make an entire post about Will. Anyway.

On to the response!

Original response below, edited for grammar, spelling, and word choice. Some rephrasing, but essentially the same thoughts.

I think, first and foremost, it’s essential to get out of the way that to enjoy this series, you can’t look at any of the characters too closely. Because once you do, you’ll realize almost everybody here sucks in some way or another.

That being said, let’s look at the characters way too closely.

Anon, I organized your thoughts by character/relationships to make it easier to manage my thoughts and form a response. So, I'll take it individually instead of responding to each part directly as you wrote it. I don’t think I or anyone else can say anything that will change your mind, but as regards to how I approach the characters when writing them, these are my thoughts.

But thank you so much for reading my fics! The fact that people spend their time doing so is always such a big compliment, even if some of the things I wrote...didn't quite sit right with you.

Disclaimer: these are my thoughts and opinions and are in no way meant to be asserted as fact or canon. Thank you.

FYI, this is a long one, folks. Grab a drink before you start.

First up:

Will and Alex

You’re absolutely right that Will and Alex only knew each other for about five years when we got to Nightfall. I messed up when I wrote Reality and said seven years. I realized it about two to three weeks after posting it and never went back to fix it. Good catch.

I see that you have a problem with Alex. That’s valid. I’m not entirely sure if it’s how I portray Alex and her relationship with Will or Alex from the source material that you have a bigger issue with. Still, I’ll try to explain my feelings about her beyond what I’ve said in other posts.

Feel free to correct me if I get anything wrong because, honestly, I have disregarded most of what Alex has said and done. After all, it hardly ever matters to the plot. Like you, I have the viewpoint that Alex’s involvement in the story doesn’t affect anything and, more often than not, makes a scene worse. I can’t think of a single time when Alex did something one of the other characters couldn’t do.

I think the timeline is that Will was arrested at 19 and released at 21/22. He would have met Alex soon after his release. It would be just a few months before the beginning of Corrupt. We first meet Alex through Michael. She comes off as confident and self-assured, in complete control of herself. She doesn’t hesitate to let Rika know she’s an escort when the opportunity arises. Her boldness gives off the feeling that she’s world-wise, with years of experience.

The reality is that she’s the same age as Rika. Given this, she would have only been in this line of work for a few months to a year, if we consider her account of events to be accurate. It tracks that Alex would be reeling from losing her friends and scholarship. She didn’t just lose Aydin when her roommate betrayed her. Alex lost her entire support system, and her plans for the future. Maybe she did figure out how to land on her feet through sex work, but I don’t think she was completely content with it – at least not as much as she tries to appear to be. She always said it was temporary, not a forever job, and she planned on doing more once she graduated.

Towards the beginning of their relationship, Will and Alex had a more casual approach to each other. While they genuinely enjoyed each other’s company, they weren’t close. But a year passes between Corrupt and Hideaway, and that is plenty of time to get to know someone and develop an intimate relationship. Their friendship deepens over time, but because of how the story is told with the reader only viewing this very narrow window of the character's lives during October every year, we don’t see much of that progress. We don’t know what significant moments these two have shared, what they’ve revealed to each other when it was four in the morning and no one else was around. I believe Will and Alex found solace in each other; peace they couldn’t find with anyone else available to them.

We can see their progression over the years in small moments

In Corrupt, when Damon is being aggressive with Alex, Will laughs and leaves it alone. I think his feelings are that this is her job and she can handle herself. Damon is his friend. Will sides with Damon.

In Hideaway a year later, Will supports Alex in the shopping scene. His comment to Banks is pretty neutral but more positive than before.

Yet, in the third year of their friendship or relationship (whatever you want to call it), we see Will defending Alex against Damon.

Damon's petty words are nothing compared to the way Damon physically treated her just two years prior. Some might argue that Will is acting out of his anger towards Damon, and using Alex as a prop to do it. That's fair. Will isn't the most emotionally intelligent person at this point of the story.

I think it's a mixture of both. Will wants to hurt Damon by replacing him (with a girl nonetheless. The horror), but it's also that his relationship with Alex has changed. He cares for her more now than he did even a year ago. He won't tolerate Damon saying spiteful things to Alex.

In Kill Switch, when Damon is threatening war, Will is the one who brings up Alex. He sees value in her being at his side.

Anon, you asked how their friendship could be that deep if she didn’t know that Will was missing. I don’t have Conclave on me, so I could be wrong, but weren’t Will’s parents lying for him? First, he was actually globetrotting – posting pictures on social media from various locations. Then the lie was he was with some program to help in third-world countries? Either way, it’s entirely believable that it would take a while to figure out something wasn’t quite right with the story. Should they have figured it out earlier? Sure. It shouldn’t have taken his younger cousin to make his three closest friends aware that Will was missing.

But in the Horsemen’s defense, they’re married with children and running businesses. And it’s not like they weren’t trying to reach him.

At the end of Kill Switch, Damon talks about how they got him clean from drugs, but alcohol was a bigger issue. He also mentions that he's been leaving messages often, waiting for a response. Damon was mad that Will missed the birth of his son, and it's not like Damon wasn't trying to make Will aware that it was happening.

Damon tried. Will made the decision to leave without telling anyone and go to a location they wouldn't be able to find him, and then he arranged for his family to lie about his whereabouts. I think the boys have an excuse for not knowing something was up right away, and then for acting when they did.

The way Conclave focuses on other issues is not the character's fault; it's what the author wanted to focus on. But there's nothing to say that the characters didn't eventually get down to business and figure out what needed to be done to get to Will. I agree that that portion of events would have been a more interesting story and would have set us up beautifully for Nightfall, but I've digressed enough.

Getting back to Alex. I find that she tends to lean towards putting her pleasure above all else, unless the situation is dire, or she's been given a direct instruction by one of the other characters. She has moments where she takes things seriously, but for the most part she seems to flounce around with a childish air. And Will does most of the time as well, and maybe that’s why they gravitated towards each other. While Kai, Michael and the others are growing, Will is stuck and Alex is on a similar level. They leaned into each other, and this worked for a while. But then Will was ready to grow, and he knew he couldn't let them carry his weight any longer, Alex included.

The bottom line, I don’t like Alex. I’ve never liked Alex. I was indifferent to her for a while, but Nightfall did her no favors in my eyes. In reviewing the series, I’ve come to dislike her even more. To use what you’ve said, Alex gives me the "ick." The way she naturally falls into coercing and manipulating people doesn't rub me the right away and never has. I'm not saying she's ever forced someone to do something they didn't want to do, but possibly things they'd rather not?

For instance, in Hideaway, we have this thought from Banks about how Alex coerced her into drinking during the sleepover scene. Banks, while wanting to enjoy a "normal" life, also felt it was important to keep her wits about her when around Kai. So Alex "coercing" her to drink feels like she ignores what people want so that she can have a good time.

Again, in Hideaway, Alex as pulled Lev, I believe, away from his post so that she can try to sleep with him. Same as before, Lev wasn't opposed to the idea of sleeping with Alex, but he had a job to do, and that moment was not the time. Alex ignored that because wanted what she wanted. And like a child, she wanted it there and then.

(I mean, I guess the argument could be made that Alex was the only one who could have helped Banks tap into her femininity because Banks hated everyone else, especially Rika but still. I don’t like the way she behaves in general.)

But when I’m writing about these characters – especially when the setting for a fic is in the canon universe – I don't want to ignore PD intended for their relationship. They wanted Will and Alex to have a deep connection different from what he shared with the others. I’m not convinced it was ever meant to be romantic, but it was meant to be deep.

I think you’re also correct in saying that Will used his friendship with Alex to soothe and distract from the pain of what happened between him and Damon.

Which brings us to our next part.

Will and Damon

I think it’s a bit harsh to say Damon was always a tool to distract Will from reality. I believe Will quite liked his reality in high school. He was privileged, wealthy, attractive, athletic, popular, and had a good home life. The only thing missing was the girl of his dreams, and he was delusional enough to think it was only a matter of time before she came to him. There was nothing to distract from. Will enjoyed every second of it. He loved the drinking, the partying, the sex, and the camaraderie between his friends and teammates. He lived for it.

He never wanted to leave it.

And I think Damon loved Will. He wanted to keep Will “safe” inside this little bubble where nothing could hurt him or take away his joy. Damon wanted Will to be happy, as long as Will's happiness didn't take him away.

The second Will started talking about Emory like she was different from the other girls was the second Damon began to hate her. Because Emory had the ability no one else had: she could either take Will away from him or destroy Will. And Will would let it happen because he’s full of love, and he's soft.

And that’s precisely what happened when Emory and Will did finally connect, as Damon knew it would.

Damon did know Will. He knew what he liked, what he wanted, how he thought. He probably understood Will better than Will understood himself. Which is how he knew exactly what to say and what do to hurt Will.

That's why Damon was sick at the thought of losing him, completely out of his mind with grief at what he’d done. That's why when Damon thought of leaving, all he wanted was to take was Winter, Banks, and Will.

I’d dare to say it’s Michael and Kai that Damon doesn’t care about all that much. Not that he hates them. He’d kill for them. Walk through fire for them. Go to prison rather than rat them out for a lighter sentence. But there’s something in Will that Damon wanted to protect and keep.

The problem was Damon's a little control freak in the worst way. This means he goes way too far in doing anything. His whole redemption arc is learning how not to do that with literally everything and still be okay. The little weirdo.

I’m not a Damon apologist, if there is such a thing. Damon’s trauma and redemption arc doesn’t do anything for me. I also don’t think it's any excuse for his actions before then. I won’t deny that he does add to the series for me. Most of the time, if Damon was there, I was paying attention, whether I liked him or not.

I’ve said it elsewhere, but I would have loved for his redemption arc to be the last part of the series because it makes more sense as a conclusion. To read Nightfall, not knowing if he was going to be a real villain by the end of the series, would have made his scenes with Emory and the other characters all the more chilling,

But the story is what it is, and again, I don't want to ignore what PD was trying to do with Damon and Will, so when I write about the two of them, where one is, the other follows.

On a side note, PD did an excellent job of introducing the potential bond that Damon and Emory would eventually share. They can relate to each other on multiple levels:

The abuse.

The love for Will.

Their artistic visions.

The way they covered for each other when they didn’t need to.

Their bond would be much stronger than Em’s with Alex, and I wish the fandom focused on it more.

Besides

Moving on.

Will

You’re right when you say that Will was doing all those things before he went to prison, before he almost died, and before Damon left him.

The main difference is that he was doing it for fun before all of that. He didn’t need to do it; his life didn’t revolve around it. It wasn’t an everyday occurrence but more of an occasional thing. Once Emory broke his heart and his friends left for college, we see him start to spiral just a little

And that was after only losing Emory.

He needed his life at TBP to stabilize, and once his support system was gone, he couldn’t cope. And I like to focus on that aspect of Will. He was weak and soft before because he’d never faced a real challenge. His privilege, and later Damon, prevented him from experiencing any difficulties, doing him a disservice. When change was on the horizon, Will didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know who he was outside of being a rich teenager. And had things gone along without interruption, he probably would have continued down that path, either never growing up completely or eventually OD’ing.

Going to prison might have saved his life, and if Damon hadn’t betrayed him, he might have been okay.

Except Damon did betray him. So, he started spiraling again, this time worse than before, because now he didn’t even have his friends to fall back on. He couldn't go a day without getting drunk or high. As Banks said, he was only sober long enough to get to his fridge. Nothing was good. His two remaining friends didn’t like how he was acting, and they were moving on without him. The girl of his dreams didn’t care that he went to prison for her – she didn’t even call! (Note: I'm not made about this; it's just Will's feelings on the subject). Rika wasn’t the revenge he was hoping for, and now he didn’t even have that to look forward to. All he really had going for him was the approval he received from Alex.

I haven’t considered how much Alex had a hand in things. I want to think that since they were new friends, she took an “it’s not my place to tell him what to do; his friends will step in if it goes too far” position. At the same time, I can see her encouraging him because it’s what she wanted to do to cover her own pain and fear. Again, because we don’t get moments outside these high-intensity situations, we don’t really know how their friendship works.

But even so, a person’s early twenties are turbulent, to begin with, and Will had to learn how to cope with losing Emory, going to prison, nearly dying, and losing his best friend all within a matter of a few years.

The fandom talks a lot about Damon’s trauma, but we ignore entirely that between the four boys, Will comes in a close second for the most traumatized. All his trauma is fresh, and in a short period of time.

He was an active participant in his own downward spiral. He hid his pain behind a mask of smiles and good times, which carried him through until it didn't work anymore. Furthermore, he knew when Damon came back, he had no more excuses. The thing about relationships is that they require good communication and mutual respect, neither of which Will had. Mainly because he didn’t respect himself. With his friends' help, Will kicked his drug habit. It’s possible that with the clarity that came with it, he saw himself dragging his friends down. His friends were starting families and business, but he was still stuck. Kai said it best when he said Will never did anything on his own, and that was true until Will decided to go to Blackchurch.

So, they would have no reason to suspect that Will was doing anything other than what he said – traveling the world and figuring things out. But Michael, Kai, and Damon hadn't abandoned him. They were trying. Will was the one who left them hanging.

To expect his friends to respect and trust him, and to develop some respect and trust in himself, he had to grow up. But his friends cut him a lot of slack. They let his stupid mistakes go unchecked and unpunished because it’s Will. I think in their eyes, he never meant any harm, or he was young and dumb, or he was hurting. They gave him a million excuses because they loved him. They weren’t strong enough to be the firm hand and give him the tough love he needed. Before anyone else, Will realized what he needed, and knew he couldn’t get it from his friends. Beyond that, he was too embarrassed to ask for it, to be seen as weak to them. Because everyone looked at their group and saw Will as the weak link, Will began to see himself that way too. And he was right.

The Will before Emory and the Will after prison are two different people. I guess it’s up to the reader to decide who is more authentic. I choose to see Will before Emory as the real him, Will after prison, a mask he wears to keep from being hurt again, and Will during Blackchurch as someone stripped down to their barest form. He’s lost before Emory shows up, not knowing whether he can return to the real world and start again. It takes some prompting from Emory to get him moving and feeling like himself. And after Blackchurch, we see the Will from high school begin to resurface.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this thought. But I think all the things you’ve complained about regarding Will are why he went to Blackchurch. He wanted to quit the drugs and drinking permanently, so he could grow up and be the person his friends needed. Then they wouldn’t have to pull his weight. I hated Will through most of the series because of his actions, the way he treated Banks and Winter specifically. Once I realized he was hiding all that heartbreak and pain, his motives and actions became more obvious. Again, pain is not an excuse to hurt anyone, but we are reading about imperfect characters who make mistakes and rarely, if ever, take the high road.

I’d say that part of the story is that when others hit low, they go lower. They’ll go to hell if it means getting one over on anyone who's pissed them off.

They’re petty.

All of them.

The Horsemen

I love friendships. Especially strong ones. Ones that don’t make sense on the surface. The kind of friendships where you know if it weren’t for unconditional love and loyalty, these people would probably stab each other multiple times, but instead they'll stab anyone who hurts them.

The problem with the Horsemen is that because they are supposed to focus on the four romances, we don’t get much of their friendship. PD gives us small glimpses here and there, and then says, “Just trust me, they’re brothers.” However, that leaves a lot to be desired when the entire plot hinges on them practically dying for each other every other year.

But I’ve read other books about solid relationships. I’ve watched shows with the same dynamic. The idea of a unique foursome with an unparalleled bond isn’t unheard of by any means. It's an old trope. So, I can fill in the gaps. It’s sometimes irritating to have to do that when I shouldn't have to. For instance, I have no idea what would happen if I put Emory and Michael alone in a room together. None. They stand in separate corners and don’t talk to each other, and this is because their relationship receives zero development. If you’re going to tell me that this group is a close, chosen family, willing to die for each other; that they loves and need each other, and that each member of the family (everyone from Michael their leader, to Emory the most recent addition) provides something critical to make the family work, then I need to see it. I need to feel it. But if I can't determine how two people in this family would interact, then something is missing.

But I have the ability to add what isn’t there, and to pull inspiration from other sources to fill-in what PD clearly intended. (If there's one thing about Devil's Night, is the potential for Head Canons galore!)

As you said, Anon, there were many times when their problems could have been solved by communication. However, I don’t think communication was a skill any of these men developed. Especially when admitting they were wrong, or talking about their feelings, or showing any sign of weakness in front of each other. Pride is a cruel master; it will trip you up if you give it a chance. But I don’t think their faults were a lack of love for each other.

Michael was overly cautious where Will was reckless, which often caused disagreements. Michael acknowledged this in Corrupt. I still think there is plenty of evidence that they cared about each other and knew each other on a deeper level. I get why you’d say they didn’t care about Will, but if we only look at the one time Will jagged left when he usually goes right, it’s understandable that they’d be a little slow to react.

I mean, think about them being on a team in high school. If Will always preferred to shoot from a certain position, then Michael and the others would work to put him in that position. They’d get the ball to him. But what if he suddenly decided to be on the other side of the court? Then they’d be throwing the ball to an empty spot, because that’s where Will always was before. Just because Will did something he’s never done before doesn’t mean they don’t know him.

They didn’t expect Will to pull the Blackchurch maneuver for the same reasons I mentioned above:

Will never did anything on his own.

He went traveling first, either because he needed to or with the purpose of disappearing. After that, he quickly switched gears without telling anyone.

He had his family lie about it. It was probably his grandfather dispensing information, and who's going to call Senator A.P. Grayson out?

As I said before, if you look at these characters too closely, you’ll find that nothing is redeeming about any of them. But they sure are fun.

I think?

I don’t know anymore. Are we having fun? ARE YOU???

Emory... versus the world?

Emory learned to think on her feet through trial and error with Martin. Unlike Will, she had to learn to survive, which made her think things through before making a decision. Of course, it made her too wary and overly defensive at times. One wrong step and she could have lost her life to Martin losing control.

Emory had a plan to survive, to eventually escape. It didn't include falling for a pretty boy with pretty words. She knew, as good as it sounded and as much as she wanted it, any plan that Will came up with to save her and her grandma could have gone sideways real fast. She made the decision that had the best chance of succeeding, because it relied on her alone. She made the decision out of fear, but I don’t think that fear was misplaced. Hating her because she was forced to make that decision is dumb.

I will say she gave Will mixed signals. But...she was young and emotional and he was the one good thing in her life outside her grandma. I can't blame her for being human and needing him, but it's not wrong to hold her accountable for that.

Just like it's not wrong to hold Will accountable to the fact that he didn't listen for the three years she tried to warn him to stay away. Just like it's not wrong to hold him accountable for pushing her when she had previously said no.

I believe I’ve said this elsewhere, but I don’t know where. I don’t understand Alex and Emory’s relationship. I don’t get why Alex was so friendly with Emory when they first met and then judged her for not being around when Will was hurt. Either she understood Emory’s struggle, or she didn’t. Either way, one of these scenarios doesn’t make sense.

As for Aydin - I don’t care about Aydin. I hated him. I still hate him. I hate that he’s barely three years older than Emory, kidnapped her, messed with her mind, forcibly kissed her to make Will and Alex jealous (which is still considered a form of sexual assault, by the way), and she still wanted to consider him a mentor. I don’t care that he was more valuable as an ally. I thought their bond was too strong after a week to be taken that seriously.

I mean, Anon, you’re criticizing the bond between the Horsemen even though they’ve known each other for over a decade, but Emory's known Aydin for all of five days, and that’s all it takes for her to need him and understand him? Because she realized he’d be better as their ally against the families? Because she's smart? I call BS on this entire thing. This was one of the weakest storylines in my opinion and I mentioned on another post how I think it could have been helped just a little bit if Aydin had been older. It wouldn't have fixed it! But I could have tolerated it more. I stand by that.

I still don’t know what Aydin brought to the table that Micah or Rory didn’t. He's there because of only because of Alex, so to favor him while despising her also doesn't make sense to me. They're literally the same.

Anon, are you talking about how other fans treat Emory like she’s the worst character because she hurt Will? When literally all of these characters have hurt each other—all of them. The only characters we don't see taking actions that hurt another are Emory toward any other character that isn't Will, and that's because there isn't time. The series ended before we could see Emory interact with any of them, and all their major problems were over. There was no opportunity, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't have if the series had been ordered differently. So, if people are hating on Emory for hurting Will alone, then they're probably biased toward one of the other girls (probably Alex). Not saying that readers can't dislike Emory for other reasons. She won't be for everyone and I'm sure there are valid reasons to dislike her. For me, she was the one I could relate to the most out of the main four, and I really felt for her struggles. She had the most realistic character arc, and her finding her way back to Will made the most sense over Rika, Banks, Winter, and even Alex with Aydin.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on everything you said. Somewhere along the way, I lost track of what I was actually attempting to say. Regarding my way of writing specifically, since I'm filling in voids and holes that I felt were too unanswered, I tried to remain as close to canon as I could. Not necessarily what was there, but what was intended. I don't always keep them in character as PD wrote them, but I try to get the same vibe.

This means, even though I don’t like Alex, I know Will likes her. So when I write about Will, she’s sometimes there too, and it's sometimes positive.

***

Anyone is welcomed to share their thoughts...if you're brain's not numb by now. If it is, I understand. Thanks for making it this far and listening to my rambling.

-KO

#devil's night series stuff #asked and answered #asked and answered 11 #the horsemen of devil's night #the women of devil's night #devil's night series #will grayson iii #no alex tag #anti-damon torrance #emory scott #debated putting DN tag in because this is a lot #let me know if I should remove it #I don't write essays #I just wanna write pretty words and characters smooching

26 notes · View notes

monterraverde · 1 month

Text

//Hey anon? My blog is not the place to try and start discourse over Rikas casting or canon character portrayal.

Kindly never send me asks like that again, I want no part in it.

#ooc: shiros talking #fuck off with the complaining in my inbox- I’m not TPCI or DENA

4 notes · View notes

tierra-paldeana · 2 months

Note

1.) What made you decide to roleplay this muse? 11.) What’s a thread you’d like to do in the near future? 20.) What’s something that would make you unfollow a mutual? 22.) Three interesting little tidbits or facts of your muse

Questions for the Mun!

What made you decide to roleplay this muse?

// i think i mentioned this elsewhere already, but basically, the moment i saw her in the game and got to know her better, i was fucking sold. she's everything i craved to see in a female character but almost never got, from the design to the personality, to the attitude, to her potential... not to mention i felt seen as someone GNC, and the fact that she's from the region based off iberia, like me, spoke to me super deeply, among other things.

and i was seriously considering roleplaying as her once i finished the main game, but because i knew there were DLCs coming in the horizon, i decided to wait until they came out to finally form a more or less complete idea of what i wanted to do. and because i never do well in discord servers (at least ones where i don't know anyone involved from the offset), i decided to come back to tumblr after having left in 2017-8-ish, cause i knew i'd be able to meet peeps more comfortably here. i don't regret it one bit!

What's a thread you'd like to do in the near future?

// honestly... hard to pick. i got so many thread ideas i'd love to do. but one thread i'd love to do would be definitely something involving area zero, or big scary pokémon. i just want to throw rika at these, specially if someone she cares about is involved, just to see her overcome her traumas bit by bit. she might be scared, but her love for the people she appreciates is stronger and can push her to do things she'd freeze over if she was alone...

and of course, things like angst, hurt-comfort, fluff. character exploration threads... that kinda stuff.

What’s something that would make you unfollow a mutual?

// breaking my rules is the easiest and fastest way to get me to unfollow someone. also, being a dick in general, messing with other rpers unfairly, or bringing twitter-like discourse onto my dash for no other purpose than to stir shit up. of course there's other reasons but they're very basic (being lgbt+-phobic, racist etc) and something i think should be common decency not to be/do so yeah.

Three interesting little tidbits or facts of your muse

rika can climb trees pretty well, believe it or not! perks of having been a semi-feral child hahaha

rika's the only elite four member that doesn't have any flying type pokémon... which are usually birds... my rika has trauma related to being attacked by a espathra (which i know isn't a flying type, but it's still a bird)... hmm... much to think about...

she often takes poppy out to public parks to pass the time when she's free from work c:

#( ooc );#( ask );#( anonymous );#( long post );

2 notes · View notes

natasha-in-space · 4 months

Note

Hey matsuda lover anon here!

so I was thinking about something. So I looovee yoosung very much and for a long while in this fandom being a yoosung fan was quite a tough job because of how people wrote him off as annoying immature incestuos etc.

But as the years went by and we enter the 2020s I have seen things getting quite alot better for us yoosung fans. Of course i am not going to lie there are times i see people mischaracterising him hating him for being 'immature' and even when things have gotten better I still have quite a tendency to be very guarded in the fandom because it hurts me personally to see him getting hate.

But I will still admit that from somewhere around 2021 opinions on him started to get more positive and people have started to love him as the kindhearted loving person he is and actually see that he is not incestuos but a depressed guy who is genuinely working hard to be better and being resilient and optimistic in his struggles.

I partly believe it is because of how from the 2020s there is this movement of embracing feminity in contrast to the whole "disliking anything feminine" shtick we had back in 2010s. And yeah while yoosung is a man, alot of the hate he had gotten is like had misogynistic undertones like many people disliked him for being emotional (and hating someone for being emotional has roots in misogyny because being emotional has been mostly associated with women and the whole "women being emotional" has been used as a reason to downplay and suppress them).

Besides, a very large portion of yoosung fans are sapphic queer people and i had asked my lesbian yoosunger friends and they said that they love him because he is feminine (ofc they dont represent all the sapphic queer yoosungers but my lesbian friends made me THINK).

Oh and I see this similar pattern regarding matsuda in the death note fandom. Now I am quite recent in the Death Note fandom but knowing how Shonen fandoms usually despise emotional characters wayyy more than shoujo or women-targeted medias like mysme (because shonen fandoms have more men who are less tolerant beings and shame their own kind when vulnerable) so I was actually expecting matsuda being disliked by the Death Note fandom. And no surprise he seemed quite underrated and not well liked for being emotional immature and most importantly a hindrance to the Kira task force because of his positive opinions on Kira because of his own "black and white" mentality and "sense of justice". But again even for matsuda, he seems to get quite popular recently and some people even say that he is "overrated"(which is not true i want more matsuda love).

I will also say I see the same for Misa Amane as well, though unlike yoosung and matsuda her rise in popularity as an appreciatable character is more directly related to the surge in embracing feminity because she is a woman.

Hmm, this is a very interesting perspective to consider! Neither Yoosung nor Matsuda are my favorites (though I never disliked either of them tbh), so I cannot speak on their fandom perception as thoroughly as I could with, let's say, Choi twins or Rika. However, I do agree that Yoosung had to suffer a ton of very gross mischaracterization over the years. Granted, this case can be made for pretty much every mm character, especially when the fandom was at its most popular (which is why I honestly hate to think back on that time, and I adore the smaller but more mindful space we all share with each other now).

Reading through your ask made me think and look back on a lot of this fandom discourse I've seen over the years, and I can't help but agree. I never thought of looking at Yoosung's particular case of mishandling his themes and traits in the fandom from a misogynistic perspective. There is definitely some merit to that thought, though. Yoosung is someone who shows off his emotions the most openly out of anyone in the RFA, and he's subsequently a very sweet and romantic kind of guy. He also expresses some very compelling inner struggles with his masculinity in game on multiple occasions, which is also something worth to consider. I've seen and talked to plenty of queer folks in mm fandom over the years who personally headcanon him as trans! So, in a way, Yoosung always had some queer energy about him. Which is lovely! It's great to see folks loving and appreciating him from such a personal place of love.

As for Matsuda, I actually was in a Death Note fandom a while back and, yeah, misogyny was very much a big issue. I have no idea what is it like today, but back then both Matsuda and Misa were... definitely not fan favorites to say the least. I can't speak on Matsuda's behalf much, but, as a Misa fan, it was tough.

While I have tons of modern issues with fandom spaces currently, some things are definitely way better now. It's great to see female characters being perceived with more depth, and it's definitely refreshing to see feminine men be loved and appreciated for who they are, instead of being mocked and ridiculed like they were before. Not that these issues have disappeared completely. But, it's a pleasant turn in the fandom spaces for sure!

Thanks for this insightful message, it was a very compelling read, Matsuda lover anon!

#mia talks #matsuda lover anon #hope it's ok to give you this nickname anon! :D

2 notes · View notes

marshmallowprotection · 2 years

Note

Thinking about Rika's breakdown in V route again and how she says that "no one has ever loved her since her birth" completely neglecting just how loved and idolized she was to Yoosung and it kinda breaks my heart for him because it's obvious she cared a lot about him but he's just completely forgotten by her in that moment

I'm going to preface this the way I do with any Rika post because I don’t have the time nor the energy to deal with Rika hate anymore. If you don't like her character and would rather avoid her for all intents and purposes, just keep scrolling.

I definitely don't think I'm the best person to speak about this subject with Rika. There's a lot of nuance to this topic that should be covered that I feel like I might miss. However, I should say this much about it because it is very hard to see yourself as lovable or worthy of care if you've always been made to feel that you're not worthy of it.

Rika is wearing a mask. She has been wearing a mask her entire life. She feels like she has to be somebody else. The party coordinator that everybody knows and loves is not the entirety of her person. It is a mask that she decided to put on because she knew that if she was a certain way people would love her without a shadow of a doubt.

She wants to be loved and she wants to be treated like anybody else does. But, because of the circumstances of her upbringing and what she has gone through in her life, she has more or less pushed herself into believing the only way to be liked is to pretend to be someone else. If she is somebody that everybody can like, then she never has to be afraid of losing anything. It might be a lie, but when you're so starved for kindness...

Well, you'll be anything or anyone for people... even to the detriment of yourself. Rika's never felt strong love from people as the person she is because the true Rika is hidden underneath layers and layers of abuse and pain. She's too afraid to let that Rika outside because any time that Rika came out...

She got screamed at. She got shouted at. Her adoptive parents yelled at her for being anything but a quiet mouse of a child who did what they said. We see this flashback in Ray Route where she's locked herself in a closet at school because she is very much struggling with her mental health and her feelings of despair. She gets screamed at for being emotional and not fitting in with the other kids. Every time she lets out any emotion that could be considered detrimental to her parents' position in society and their church, they suppress and push her down.

She's been wearing a mask for a long time. She has been pretending to be somebody else so she can survive. She feels like she has to be somebody else to be loved. It's easy to understand why she comes to this point if you have put in the effort to learn about her as a person and her past. I definitely suggest looking into Rika's Behind Story if you can, it does come with a trigger warning for a few heavy topics like child abuse, SA, and religious trauma.

She was taught from the minute she was adopted that she wasn't supposed to be herself. They told her that she had to be something else. Anytime she deviated from it, they would continue to beat her down over and over again. She was screamed at so often for being the devil that she started to believe that she was the devil.

In fact, she uses those very words to be able to protect herself from her parents and the church pastor who harmed her physically.

She told them she was the devil to be able to keep Sally by her side, her emotional support dog who was the only being that gave her kindness in her life at that point. She used anger and threats against them to be able to gain back her control. If they called her the devil, she could be the devil.

The problem with this is that she isn't able to get into consistent therapy with someone who could genuinely help her after this. She manages to save herself by weaponizing the very thing that they used against her from the minute she was put into their arms, but she doesn't have anybody who can help her get away from that. Who can help her get to a healthier place where she can finally be herself and feel liberated.

What happens after she manages to get her power back is that she falls into old habits. She starts wearing her mask because she's afraid of continuing to be the devil that people are afraid of. She doesn't know how to be loved. She doesn't know how to be vulnerable and trust others.

It feels much safer to her to pretend to be somebody she isn't.

She is a person that cares about their people but she's afraid to be cared about in return. She doesn't know how to let people care about her as she is. It makes sense when you come to understand why she has trust issues in the first place. It doesn't excuse any other than her actions and it never will, but it helps you come to understand why she feels the way she feels.

Yoosung knows a mask.

The RFA knows a mask.

Jihyun is the only one who sees a glimpse underneath that but even that's not the entirety of Rika Kim... not even Rika knows who she is without that mask. She just keeps putting masks on... Rika to Savior... Rika to Devil... Rika to Serena... Rika to Mina... they all feel like masks to her because she's never felt allowed or been allowed to be a real person outside of that. She doesn't know how to get to that point.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that she feels like people love the mask. They don't actually love her. That's because that's the way the mask was crafted. The persona she projected to the people around her was the one that was loved. She doesn't feel like people would love the person that's underneath that mask. So, it's not that she's discounting Yoosung. It's just that she thinks that the only person that he ever cared about was the mask of Rika he knew.

Her genuine fear in life is that if people see every part of her for what it is, they will leave her and abandon her. It's easy to see why she feels that fear in the first place once you have the context.

If she had been able to get into the right therapist and if she had been able to allow herself to open up about her fears? It could have been a very different story. We could have been looking at an entirely different outcome for her. I feel like that's why a lot of people relate to her and like her character because it's so nuanced and complicated.

When people say that they like her, I'm able to understand now after years of putting in thought to understand why Rika is who she is… I realize a lot of people relate to that. They relate to that trauma and they like having her character there to be able to feel comfort from that. As painful as it can seem, it can be validating to see an aspect of yourself in a character. People that like Rika know her fear like the back of their hand, and they want to comfort her just like they wish they could be comforted.

#ask #mod kait #rika kim #kim rika #anon #character analysis #do not start discourse please and thank you #i apprecate her a little more thanks to my wife

25 notes · View notes