Once more we return to Outlaws of Thunder Junction. We've got some more critters to identify so lets get to doin' that!
Last time we dealt with Black, with the other parts being here and here. For now though, it is time to tackle...
RED
As with the Black cards, Hellspurs like this have mutated themselves beyond all belief so they're now functionally native to Thunder Junction. Love those magmatic skeleton horses though.
Speaking of magmatic skeleton horses; look at this baby! Calamity is an incredible creature and is a (supremely fucked up) legendary of the plane.
Get caught up in it! This is once more the Hellspurs running rampant with their chaos mutations. Look at'em go!
I saw a weird amount of hate for this card, but I have no understanding as to why. Anyway, this little doggy is endemic to Thunder Junction.
I have no real justification for this but the vibe this lady gives me is Tarkir. Maybe it is the weaving through the lightning bolts?
Rakdos having a hell of a time here on the party plane. This is from Ravnica, and a good reminder of why one of the laws on that plane is "The Rakdos Cult can do what they want to keep their boss from getting uppity".
One of the funnest cards in terms of like, flavorfully showcasing the way Thunder Junction works as a plane. I kinda wish we had more of these to be honest.
I'm marking this one down as Amonkhet because that's the first thing she brought up, and it makes the most sense to me that a native of the plane would be best suited to selling that stuff. I likely shouldn't go shopping in a bazaar.
While this isn't a direct story spotlight (the bomb Breeches made explicitly DID NOT touch the train, as was the intent) I think it is safe to say this is still another one of his more deadly explosive endeavors, so this is from Ixalan.
Who trusts a monkey with explosives anyway?
I forget where I heard this, but this is the thunder of the plane mutating the creatures to become even stronger- this used to be a gopher! Now it's a getter instead. Endemic to Thunder Junction.
A courser is the term used for stronger, swifter horses typically used as war-horses. Sturdy bastards. This is a lizard that is a 4/2 so it really shouldn't be a courser I think? Either way, native to Thunder Junction.
Train heists can happen on like two other planes from Thunder Junction, but this particular style of train heist belongs to it and it alone. Also I love the tomahawk thunder-pistol in this art, that's some good shit right there.
Another Hellspur, another card that sources itself from Thunder Junction itself. I fucking love this art though, look at it!
The greatest tragedy of Thunder Junction being the plane it is is that we didn't get to se Angrath and his daughters. While you could prooobably place this minotaur to Dominaria, it's a Hellspur so it's a Hellspur. You know the drill.
Do you think it hurts replacing your eyes with a heated vent-grill?
I don't think I saw this card in my initial run-through of the set. I love that he has a gold fang tooth replacement, that's fun. One of the least mutated Hellspurs so probably from New Capenna, but my rules are my rules. Thunder Junction!
Technically not highway robbery as there is no highways on this plane. Native to Thunder Junction.
TWAS I WHAT SET THE BLAZE! Endemic life of Thunder Junction, and quite a lovely little critter at that.
This one took a bit of thinkinng, but after looking at the giants of various planes, I think this is from Dominaria. He's just got the vibe.
This his friend above, this minotaur is a trickier one to place... but I think he's from Ravnica. Ex Boros turned gunslinger, you know how it is.
Magda! This lovely lady is from Kaldheim! Ironically her previous card was "Brazen Outlaw" but in neither instance is she ACTUALLY an outlaw mechanically. Her tokens are the non-endemic Scorpion Dragons of Gastal, but I won't be counting tokens till the end so leave me be.
This toasty little critter is endemic to the plane- and probably used to have a diet of thunder before any wizards came about with some much easier prey to snatch up.
I like to believe the little jet of flame is its tongue.
This pair of soon to be very dead friends are Hellspurs- and I just wanna say, they look like they're having the times of their lives. Here for a good one, not a long one and all that.
More Hellspurs doing Hellspur stuff. God these mutations are freaky- I'm shocked none of the people who are horny for being a Phyrexian jumped at these.
Our first actual carded appearance of the Cacti Folk of the plane! A white card had one being picked up by a faerie but this is their first actual like, real card! They're endemic to Thunder Junction, and by rights are the actual honest to god native population of the plane.
The corn-cob guns are an inspired choice, tbh.
I personally call bullshit that the Thunder was created by the Omenpaths. Even if it was, none of the people coming here would fucking know that.
Really love the "animation" in this card. I'm gonna say she's from Innistrad because this weapon looks like it'd fit there.
This massive porcupine is, as you'd expect, native to Thunder Junction. So many of those in Red...
This master of Santoryu is categorically just explicitly a monkey-goblin from Ixalan. What a perfect little creature, look at him go.
The second half of that kaiyote up above. Put'em together and you get a fun little image. This is of course native to Thunder Junction.
Have enough people chased roadrunners for this saying to catch on in the yearish they've had to live here? That's one hell of a meme infection...
This art was a little hard to parse, but it's something huckin' a molten knife through some kind of storm of Thunder. I like it, but it's impossible to tell where it is from.
It's not got as much bondage as you'd expect for them, but I think these two are from the Rakdos Cult and are doing their best to branch out. Ravnica, then!
The dinosaur tokens and the dinosaurs in his art are all Ixalani, so this wonderful old man is from there as well. Like I said we'll counter the tokens later.
And that's it for now, tune in soon for Part 2 of the Red cards of OTJ!
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Thinking about how even the least sapient of the Red Phyrexians will hesitate for a moment before moving to violence because the small spark of empathy inside them literally holds them back.
Quotes from The Planeswalker’s Guide to New Phyrexia (2011)
The mana from the red sun gave rise to Phyrexians who had just a glimmer of concern for other lifeforms—not full-blown compassion, but enough empathy to cause hesitation, a phenomenon more or less alien to Phyrexia. Beings of varying levels of sentience reacted to this impulse differently. Among nonsentient creatures, this primitive empathy simply caused moments of confusion before action
"The fiend had me in its grasp, and I could feel the heat of the furnaces. I was resigned to meet my death, but then something strange happened. It paused for a moment and then unclasped its pincers, releasing me. I slumped to the ground, exhausted, too wounded to run. It regarded me for a time, and although it had no features familiar to our world, I felt as if it was confused. Then it turned and left me there. I'll never understand why."
Fucking beautiful how the most impulsive color creates a reaction of Hesitation of all things when presented with a possibility for compassion.
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