#random blather
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I've had a bunch of moments this month where it hits me how grateful I am to be alive, but this morning I was getting dressed and it's like...four years ago I was going to kill myself, and now I actively care if my socks are right-side-out.
Things aren't perfect, but they are so much better. I didn't think it was possible.
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"You can't organize your way out of a mess"
I read that somewhere, and... yeah, it's true. But! There's a lot of stuff I want to keep, and organizing that stuff has made space. My inherited piano is now free of dolls, much to the cats' chagrin. Their favorite way of getting me off the couch was to jump on the piano and knock dolls over, which is the other reason everyone got moved into the office.
Vacay coming up. Whether he wants to or not, Spouse is getting dragged into helping me clean and swap rooms. I am ready for Craftorama room. I am so ready. I have many amazing projects to work on, and I can't work on them with cats. Try to knit - cats attack yarn. Try to sew - cats attack fabric. Try to paint dolls - cats attack brushes and knock over Pan Pastels. My cats, they are needy.
Actually, another reason why I'm excited to have Craftorama room is that one cat loves to play, but her rambunctious brothers always push her out of the way. With a big center space in Craftorama room, she and I can play in peace with the door shut and the brothers OUT.
I got tea lights and spent another afternoon lighting fabric on fire. It does seal the fabric quite nicely. Then I got an email from Fabric Mart - fabric on sale! $1 a yard! It's all polyester. Yeah, I bet it's on sale. Death to polyester.
Rainbow High dolls are getting clearanced out again, and I am not interested. I am Rainbow High'd out. There are two dolls I want when they go on sale, and that's it.
Decided against the Signature Barbie. I don't want to spend the money on a $100 doll, only to have to buy another Tooth Fairy Barbie to rebody her onto a pivotal body (same size as model muse, but with more articulation). I'm getting Barbie'd out too. Still waiting for the promised Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy dolls, but that's about it.
I did spring for a new Obitsu doll, even though I swore no more vinyl. I knew Obitsu was planning on updating the 50 cm body, and I wanted one. They released the GGR AKIHO body for a limited run, and I snagged Mysterious.
It looks like resin. I am super impressed:
Now I'm just waiting for the updated 27 cm body. Fingers crossed they do a 30 cm body like they did for the male body, cuz that would be awesome. Step aside, Made to Move. There's a new sheriff in town.
Finally finished shaving down the neck on the Doll Chateau Y-body-06, and now the DC Debbie head looks too small. Maybe the Dollmore head will work better? I'll have to swap and see. Can't remember the sculpt name; only that she looks perpetually disgusted with life, and I haven't yet found a body I like her on.
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Saw the tags on the Toshinori post and do you have more to share?? Any insights? If so I’d welcome hearing them 😭 He really is so self-sacrificial and it hurts but it’s truly at the core of who he is
This has been sitting in my inbox for almost a week because I needed to make a futile effort at organizing my thoughts into something coherent--but this is as organized as they're going to get for now! Thank you so so much for the ask though bc I do love to yell about MHA <3
(Obligatory reminder that I'm watching this show in such a confusing order so if what I'm about to rant about has been addressed before and I'm harping on it unnecessarily I Am Sorry.)
(For anyone curious, this is the post btw)
SO. It feels relevant to mention that my sister and I were talking about All Might in the first place because we were talking about MHA Moments That Haunt Us. For me, it's the 'I am not here' sign hanging around the neck of the All Might statue in Kamino Ward after the Paranormal Liberation War. It literally lives in my brain rent-free 24/7 365 days a year, especially with the AM vs AFO fight being relatively fresh in my mind. The reversal of All Might's catchphrase and all it represents hurts, but to display it at the site of his 'last stand' in Kamino? That's brutal.
All Might vs All For One and how that rematch plays out is so so important to the story for so many reasons, but one of them is that the fight itself is a sacrifice. Toshinori gives everything he has, short of his life, to defeat All For One. He gives up his physical strength, his public image as the unbeatable Symbol of Peace, and, effectively his Quirk ("Goodbye, All For One. Goodbye, One For All" haunts my every waking moment, still!)
This battle is also the culmination of years of All Might's life and heroic philosophy (because Toshinori has been both practicing AND preaching self-sacrifice in the name of the greater good since we met him. It's what he thinks a hero does). Kamino is the sacrifice to end all sacrifices, if you will. Yes, he does get to walk away from the fight with AFO, but he walks away irrevocably different, almost unrecognizable. He's forced to totally change his focus and his mindset and his life. Everything he has given up is made literally visible in the deterioration of his body.
But most most importantly, All Might's sacrifice at Kamino was... all for nothing. Even if AM defeated him in that moment, All For One is free less than a year later. The world is in shambles. People are afraid, and their faith in heroes is crumbling. Heroes are afraid, and this time, they have no idealized symbol to rally behind. When Dostoevsky wrote "Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing," he was talking about All Might btw.
Toshinori gave this fight (and his career, and being All Might) everything he had, and it still wasn't enough. He sacrificed so much of himself, and so much of how he perceived himself and his purpose, and he didn't even save the world. He just bought them time--and not much of it. I think that's why he's so desperate to keep fighting, no matter the cost, no matter what condition he's in--even 'quite literally half-dead.' He can't let Kamino be the Symbol of Peace's final stand, because Kamino was ultimately for nothing. Instead of saving the world, it has been reframed through the sign on the statue as All Might abandoning the world. And ever since then, he's been scrambling to prove that he is still here.
(There's also probably something here about Sir Nighteye telling him that he was going to die. Since Nighteye used his Quirk on him, Toshinori has been anticipating sacrificing his life for good. Knowing that his entire hero career is effectively a fight to the death has probably maximized his self-sacrificial tendencies.)
#ask#yagi toshinori#bnha all might#mha all might#love of my LIFE#i had more bullet points to include about all might's philosophy of self-sacrifice as both a hero and a teacher#but then i was writing random notes about all might as a product of hero society as opposed to a pillar of it and i felt like that one vide#of the old man going '90% of the time i have no idea what the hell i'm talking about'#it wasn't strictly relevant to this ask but maybe one day it will be it's own post bc toshinori messes me up when i think about him#for longer than 0.5 seconds#this is so word vomit i'm so sorry#liza blather#AND ANOTHER THING. a lot of the pros are self-sacrificial to an extreme (i made a web weave abt it) but all might is one of the few#who actually makes it his PHILOSOPHY. like he passes on the idea of setting yourself on fire to keep others warm as a Good Plan#which is NOT a criticism of him OR his fault it's what he LEARNED to do just like#i can't really blame the ua faculty for the sports fest as messed up as it was bc like. half of them are probably ua alumni. they#probably had their own sports festival. this is just like. not registering as abnormal to them.#okay now i will stop#one thing about me is if i'm not talking about kamino i'm talking about the sports festival#and on the off chance i'm not talking about either i'm talking about the joint training arc
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Head in hands. What am I doing with my life.
#my weekly midlife crisis#I keep doing random shit to try and be happy but am I actually ruining my life? who knows#shaydh blathers
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True blathering/boggling ahead, but.
So there's a mutual in the cosplay circles I'm in who like...gets a LOT of hate. And their videos, cosplay, etc. aren't all that different than anyone else's! They get the same amount of views on average as the rest of us. They use a lot of the same audios, they're of average attractiveness (not that it matters, but yanno, in terms of looking through asshole-glasses), they're not being any more or less goofy than anyone else, etc. But while I'll maybe get oh, one or three pervy or trolly comments a month, this person gets 3-5 HATE comments almost EVERY video, EVERY week.
They laugh it off, which hey, if you're that unbothered, cool! I wish I had that thick of skin! But my analytical brain was still BOGGLED over how the algorithm could be THAT weird and mean.
And then just today I looked at their tags.
The....MILE of tags, that they put on videos.
My buds, they tag EVERY FREAKING DETAIL OF A VIDEO. After say, a dozen tags relating to the fandom, and cosplay, there's.... #browneyes #cute #funny #20something #jeans #coolchair #jokes #EYELASHES ....you get the point.
They're practically THROWING themselves at the normies and trolls. And not getting anything but hate for it! Their views and followers aren't any higher than mine or others!
Plainly, it doesn't get them ANY more positive rewards than other people cosplaying the same characters.
It ONLY gets them more trolls.
And I've been watching it happen for almost a year!
They're not someone who's constantly complaining about the hate they get either? Like, we've all seen people online who milk/fake any hate they get for sympathy, sadly, but they're definitely not that. I am trying SO HARD to wrap my obsessive brain around why you would do this to yourself when you could make it stop SO EASILY.
....pointless brain splinters are at least more fun than thinking about how the world's ending, anyway.
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It's a crime that he keeps dying over the gray. The gray looks good.
god I agree!!! His gray hair/graying beard combo is so incredibly sexy. Just gorgeous. Ted should’ve had some gray too. Absolute crime they didn’t leave some in his temples.
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my 17yo brother and I are losing the twin allegations yet again
#this time it was from high schooler did a summer research program at my lab last year#i saw her wearing a sweatshirt of an extracurricular i did and told her my brother was the same grade as her and also does it#flash forward to a couple weeks ago they’re both at a random event for it and she comes up to him not even knowing his name#and asks if his last name is [redacted] and if he has a sister named Lindsay#mind you i never even showed her a picture of him!!! we just look that alike apparently#blither blather bother
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I just flipped the design of my blog and my side blog, in the name of realizing this was the fun one and the other one was the one where I take life too seriously.
But guys, when I first came here trying to start writing again? All those rustley roses and that one green flower advertised my hopes.
After some starts and stops, I've learned how to have fun writing again. Like joyous, off the chain, scribble-in-the-blank-spaces writing, I mean! As health permits, I'm back to having the right sort of brain!
Which is a lot more important than the pictures on my blog, so I want to tell the people who have helped me get here that they are, too.
More important than just about anything. Thanks to everyone who has been kind or liked or reblogged or kudos or commented or fangirled with me. You don't know what those little gestures did for me.
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You do realize that Jango Fett was a sentimental bastard. He flew his adoptive father's (Jaster Mereel) ship until he was physically forced to get the Slave I. So Boba being sentimental and flying his dad's ship all his life is so completely in line with the character. That was what Lucas intended when he introduced Boba as Jango's son. That's where Boba got his iconic ship and armor — from his father.
What in the actual fuck XD XD XD
You do realize that the last post on my blog tagged “Jango Fett” is from August, and is mostly about Zam Wesell being a wonderful disaster, right? And my last post tagged for dear Bob’ika is from October, and is a post about “bachelorchow” from Futurama, and the tag is from me rambling about how I wish I could eat the grey nutrient paste that his ship’s computer synthesizes for him, yeah?
If you’re going to send people anonymous screeds like this, please include some kind of context so that we know what post or idea it is you’re angry about. Because like...yeah, I have seen Attack of the Clones, I was there at midnight when it opened the first time in the worst Zam Wesell costume the world has ever seen let's not talk about that, I do in fact know where Fett’s armor and ship come from?? I’m not sure what this anon is in reference to???
#boba fett#jango fett#me#i am MORE than happy to blather-on about boba fett all damn day believe you me vod#but i need to know SOME kind of context for what exactly is the topic under discussion please!#i mean i suppose i don't i could just start blathering at random; i am certainly capable of just rambling about him without purpose#but you're not going to get very satisfying responses to whatever it is you're actually trying to talk about that way XD#also i am DYING about the fact that they included Jaster Mereel in parentheses there like i somehow WOULDN'T KNOW WHO JASTER WAS LMAOOOOOO#i am so close to asphyxiating with laughter i might as well be sitting in susejo's guts right now running out of air lololol#silly anons#star wars
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tagged by @primsycoldbottles ^-^ for top 5 fav songs. here I go.
youtube
youtube
tagging uhmmm @sealnami and hmm. @volaile and @beesnutz if you wanna ^-^ anyone else can too ofc and just say I tagged u.
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Halloween was AMAZING this year. We got sixty trick-or-treaters who all looked amazing. SO MUCH FUN!!!
My mom bought me an inflatable t-rex costume because they are frankly the pinnacle of human ingenuity. It started out great:
Dinosaur selfie. It's hard to overstate how useless one's arms suddenly become.
Yes, I have All The Lights. All of them. It makes me deliriously happy.
Unfortunately, while it is great fun to shuffle around as a t-rex, it is exceedingly difficult to go through doors - stumpy arms can't reach the handle, head too tall to go through without significant shenanigans - and damn near impossible to interact with small trick-or-treaters without knocking them over. That, combined with the fact that TWO separate people were like "...isn't this the anglerfish house?" I was like fuck it, Edgar needs her audience.
Much, much better! Everyone loves her.
So, while I still adore the dinosaur and will definitely use it in the future, this is, in fact, the anglerfish house. After three years, she's getting a little careworn, so maybe next year I'll patch her up and update her fiberoptics.
Happy Halloween, everyone.
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Tumblr is an odd place. I think the vast majority of users get on here to have a safe place to scream into the void about going through some shit. And then you see someone else reach out and say something encouraging. I think that’s the humanity of this site. Sure there’s some anon hate here and there, but the lions share is just people trying to support other people because at some point in life you realize that we are ALL going through some difficult, complex, emotional problems. That’s just fucking life. But it’s nice to see ‘the helpers’ as Fred Rogers would say.
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thought I would share this here
#i should make a compilation of all the unhinged texts i’ve sent my sister about this show#apparently this is her takeaway#scribbled out some random work stuff#aizawa shouta#liza blather
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I really hate movie theaters but I saw every hunger games movie in theaters and I'm really intrigued by the adaptation of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (especially since the book just came out like two years ago??) so 👀 might have to go
#im like SCREAMING rn bc i only found out ab it through a random video i clicked on youtube that was talking ab the actress and i was like#hold up... what do you mean THIS YEAR like WHAT#anyway i was skeptical and was like ugh this is gonna suck i know it like i was really enthralled by the book and it has been rotating in#my brain since i read it and i literally think ab it every time i think ab rabies and rats AGGSGSSGS which i was actually thinking ab this#morning funnily enough bc i was watching a video on pests and how rats bite people and my brain was like haha like in the book :)#anwyay i think ab it A LOT and it was so good and ive been thinking ab it more frequently lately and thats hilarious that i find out now ab#the movie and im like vibrating with excitement aggdgdgdgdgd like the casting looks great the trailer looks wonderful i have hope#im gonna cry like i did reading it im sure (not for the [spoiler] you think it's a different emotional point) and ahhh i cant wait to see#the rest of the cast and the marcus scene™️ well scenes OH AND THE SCENE IN THE TRAILER WITH THE FLAG! so glad they're including#that like i know that arc is a very important plot point but to add in him wearing the flag like a cape AHHHHH i love it#i really wanna reread the book now sggdgdgd it's just so so good man like fuck#im gonna be blathering ab this for weeks sgsgsgsggdgd#marquilla#thg
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i don’t consider myself a person who needs to be active at work, but then i have a few days a week of plugging info into a spreadsheet instead of wrestling animals with my whole body and i feel like i’m trapped in a cage
#this spreadsheet is killing me i would rather be getting scratched rn#also sorry i'm trying to move my random thoughts to here rather than tw*tter bc... you know#and i think ppl are leaving me alone now so i think i can use this space for my blathering in peace
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my parents are acting as if the haircut I have scheduled for tomorrow is the rapture like I guess it’s fine for me to be gay but god forbid I start looking gay (they won’t say this obviously they’re just tiptoeing around it and saying my hair looks awful horrible)
#I’m gonna just have to ask them point blank huh#i get complimented on my hair CONSTANTLY do you think those random strangers are lying to me#blither blather bother
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