#providing housing whatever
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Clone Scorpius
#just some doodles on the concept#something something biological imperative something something triggered by mortal peril#sectumsempra#veela!draco#draco malfoy#scorpius malfoy#Harry Potter#down and out fic where Draco asks/harasses/threatens/guilts harry into paying child support#providing housing whatever#bc it takes two to trigger a ditch effort species survival Veela clone baby egg#potter#or one where harry find out and is like#that’s my son? and everyone is like no#definitely isn’t#but obv it ends w them together and harry adopting scorpius#fic where scorpius asks where babies come from#and harry is like *sweating* um uh well you were uh sometimes when two boys .. there was a war..#and uh#umm#and Draco is like from an egg sweetie and scorpius is like :) oh an egg#omg this would make him and teddy like the same age lol#drarry
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I recently heard about a 400-year-old tree in a nearby village, which made me want to estimate the age of the big lime tree behind my house. I measured the circumference at my height then divided by Pi to get the diametre then multiplied by the growth factor for this species—and I learnt that my lime tree is about 255-260 years-old! It was born in the 1760s... I also went and measured some of my beech trees and the oldest ones are ~190 years-old, which makes sense as it’s the age of the house. I’m not sure why this lime tree is so much older than all the other trees on this land, but it makes me want to give it a little plaque, maybe one that says “I was 25 years-old during the French revolution.”
#crawling along#i know my land used to be a forest until the 1820s when most of the trees were cut to create pastures#beech trees were then planted around each pasture to delineate it#then in the 1960s or 70s the farm was downsized and all the pastures except two were abandoned and left to rewild as they pleased#so the trees around my house are 50-60yo at most save for the beech trees enclosing the younger woods like sentinels#i'm guessing the 1820s owners preserved a couple of the pre-existing trees in each pasture to provide shade for the animals?#and the other(s) have been cut since#whatever the reason i'm glad this one lime tree was left alone to live its life!
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I had no patience for people policing other peoples ships before i went to library tech school and library tech school has make me a little bit pissy about the entire thing actually.
#its 1:47am i am not going to rant about it#but Jesus Christ on a cracker i hate how censorship has become common and almost mainstream if it’s ’for the right reasons’#fuck you and fuck your ‘right reasons’#there is no reason to deny someone the ability to create or access material that you don’t agree with#‘but-‘ i do not careeee about your arguement it is my job as a library worker to provide ACCESS TO INFORMATION FOR EVERYONE#‘but it has siblings that kiss!’ DONT CARE. BOOKS DO NOT DICTATE MORALS. MOVE ON.#‘but it has (insert other thing)’ DONT CARE. THE PATRON ASKED FOR THIS BOOK. THEY ARE GETTING THE BOOK. NEXT#‘but but but THE CHILDREN’ THE CHILDREN NEED ACCESS TO INFORMATION JUST LIKE THE REST OF US. I AM NOT PARENTING YOUR CHILD.#IF CONTENT MAKES YOUR CHILD UNCOMFORTABLE BECOME THE PERSON THEY GO TO TO TALK TO IT ABOUT#OR TELL THEM THAT ITS OKAY TO CLOSE THE BOOK AND PUT IT AWAY#IT IS NOT MY JOB TO MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD IS FOLLOWING WHATEVER RULES YOU HAVE ON MEDIA CONSUMPTION AT YOUR HOUSE#MY JOB IS TO PROVIDE THE BOOK.DVD.THING. THEY WANT#YOUR CHILD NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO CONSUME MEDIA CRITCIALLY AND THAT SOMETIMES THAT INCLUDES#READING THINGS THAT MAKE THEM UNCOMFORTABLE AND THEN HAVING A SAFE ADULT TO TALK TO IT ABOUT#AND NEWSFLASH: IF YOU ARE NOT SEEN AS SOMEONE SAFE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR CHILD WILL GO ELSEWHERE OR JUST#NEVER TELL YOU WHAT THEY ARE CHECKING OUT#anyway. turns out i did go on a rant. whoops.#moose rants
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writing about an A and a B that are so different from the common idea people have about them in this fandom is both a blessing and a curse, because now I see all the posts talking about them as basically puppets with no free will and I have to remind myself that they are not my A and B. because mine not only are older than L and first met him at the Wammy's but also enjoyed the idea of becoming this detective L planned to create. like, L showed them what he can do and what he can teach them. and they both accepted it because "hell yeah, sign me up". they had different visions on how that's going to work for them, and they also kind of helped him set up the successor programme because in my mind, there's no way that L would start his career - he's overly confident that he'll become a great detective in no time - without a solid foundation that can make the detective persona live forever. basically, I changed them in this way cuz i want them to be the responsible for their own downfall, since it's a common theme in death note
#even the wammy's house is different from what people say cuz I had to plan it out completely and make it make sense#so I had to decide the grading system before A's death - the activities - what kids are accepted (age 5 and up) and so on#rules - the entry exam - the other school related activities and much more#so I have a clear view of what's going on in my opinion#and while it's still emotionally neglectful and kids there are not alright#they are aggressive and even if I set up the first like 3 grades to be about social norms and whatnot#that just turned against me because I now realise that most of them don't learn how to live with others#but that lying and cheating the system is alright as long as they advance lmao#but that's not my fault anyway#and while all of that#it's not the hell on earth that most people say it is#I find myself writing more about the kids playing with each other and doing whatever they want than them trying to get at the top#because that's not their priority - except a few exceptions - since they are young#and even in mello's and near's case - Mello was the only one who was like obsessed with being first#the others didn't care that much#cuz all they see is that they live in a good place that provides for them and other than compulsory school work#they can just play and indulge in their hobbies freely cuz I don't think Watari nags them to be at the top#death note#wammy's house#beyond birthday#quillish wammy
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I am nothing in my soul if not obsessive.
#yeah thats right we now return to our regular broadcast of angst posting about this film after a brief interruption of textpost memes#did not realise there's only a 10 photo limit to each post lmao i've never hit it before until now#so i had to go back and turn the 3 sets of individuals images into 1 image to i could fit them all#fun times for me#🤡🤡🤡#anyway i finished the secret history just over a week or so ago and even though i've moved on to the song of achilles now it still haunts me#like minds#murderous intent#like minds (2006)#nigel colbie#alex forbes#tom sturridge#eddie redmayne#nigel colbie x alex forbes#the secret history#donna tartt#i think whatever inspired this post is diagnosable in the dsm-v#sorry if this makes absolutely 0 sense i think reading the book provides a lot of the context for it#putting all the scenes together really had me realising how many times nigel traumatised poor alex over the course of the film#and the colbie house incident isn't even here. no wonder he's evil by the end of it
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ok so here's a bloodborne post. every dream or nightmare in bloodborne needs two things:
1. a host/dreamer
2. a being to create the dream
in the nightmare frontier/nightmare of mensis the dreamer is micolash and the creator is mergo.
we know for sure the nameless moon presence made the hunter's dream, and the obvious conclusion is gehrman is the dreamer. my personal pet theory is the doll is a second dreamer, the real host of the dream, because you find her sleeping in the old abandoned workshop
when you end a dream you have to kill both the host of the dream and the creator, ex, killing micolash then mergo, killing (freeing) gehrman and then the moon presence
so here where i get a little confusing okkkkk. the doll is the reason the game loops. the purpose of the hunter's dream is to keep hunters alive, at least when they start out hunting. hunters can leave the dream, like eileen and djura, but can they really? they reset when you start new game plus. everything resets. you are able to end the nightmare of beasts by ending the mensis ritual, but micolash was already long dead and a skeleton when he 'woke up', meaning gehrman would be as well. the doll, however, would just go back to sleep. she has an immortal doll body, if she wakes up there is no actual consequence. in the childhoods beginning ending you become the new creator of the dream, and the doll is the host, so gehrman is unnecessary. in the ending where you replace gehrman you are replacing his role as the surrogate child of the moon presence/collateral, and the doll is the host. in yharnam sunrise you 'leave' the dream, but you can't actually leave. the only thing left is new game plus. there is no way to permanently kill the doll in the game, and you need to kill both the dreamer and the maker of the dream to end it
i believe the moon presence created something unintendedly bigger than herself with the dream, it's become an endless self powering cycle that resets the entire world instead of just keeping a few hunters alive. the great ones are sympathetic in spirit, but she didn't really understand what laurence (and associates) was asking for because she can never actually die. so now no one can ever die! N that's my post
#wheeltext#the creator of the hunters nightmare is kos and i thiiink the dreamer would be the orphan. kos is already 'dead' (as a great one can get)#n you put the orphan to rest#n then the nightmare ends#so yeah there are two effects of this type of deal#it creates a dream/nightmare (which stays even after the host and creator are killed) and it does Something#the Something of the mensis ritual was the beast plague/whatever the FUCK they did to yaharghul/the one reborn#n the Something of the hunters dream was the time loop/keeping hunters alive/providing aid to hunters/etc#n the Something of the hunters nightmare was dragging all hunters to actual hell when they go blood drunk#i believe the nature of the deal with the moon presence was to house the hunters#assist them keep them alive whatever they need#and she would get two things out of it#the first is a surrogate child in gehrman (he also works as collateral for the deal while laurenc n co worked for the mp's ends)#and the second is that the hunters would take out the competition and kill other great ones#hence the note Hunt the Great Ones. Hunt the Great Ones. in byrgenwerth#OH FUCK#ok so maybe the obscuring of rituals rom did yknow hiding the blood moon etc was a deal she made with willem#but it didnt create a dream it made the moonlit lake#rom could also be the dreamer maybe? bc she used to be human#idk im really just spitballing at this point if i got anything wrong or misremembered smth feel free to correct me#also sorry this is so long lmao
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Yeah yeah romance novels have always had an important consideration in literature because of how people automatically look down on fiction by and for women but I don't think we can separate the current form of it that booktok has made popular from the simultaneous rise in the tradwife stay at home girlfriend barbie movie feminism
#at certain points romance novels were an empowering form of escapist literature when women really were stuck in homemaking roles#but now that for some reason some of us have convinced ourselves that it actually is feminist to put ourselves back in the house#it just stands more and more as a by product of teehee women can't do anything we just read published fanfic while nurturing our feminine...#...spirit and wombs or whatever the hell in the home while the man Provides#taking the wider context into consideration here i don't know why i haven't seen anyone point out how both of these things are happening...#...concurrently and can't be separated from each other
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fucked up parents and their fucked up parenting
#U cant correct them coz they are always right and u are just talking back#They can say whatever they want and make u feel completely useless#Even tho u are trying ur best for them and helping them in every small or big task#But hey so what u arent allowed to say that out loud coz they work far harder#Also they can say it out loud and let u know its their house u stay in they provide everything etc#But the second u try to do it god forbid who knows what woukd happen to them when rhey get old and they cant work anymore#Coz apparently u might justleave them or push them out the house#Which btw they themselves say quite a lot during arguments “its my house get out”#So all in all theycan say or d whatever but u cant#They woukd never acknowledge ur efforts and instead pick ur faults and the moments u start counting the times u did something good#U are just selfish and its not a big deal.#Makes u wonder why they even gave birth to you right?#They treat u like shit even hit you and then have the audacity to say how dare u talk rudely#Ill tell u what#They are scared that u will treat them the same way they treat u rn.#Wont give their opinions any value or their efforts or talk to them nicely etc etc#Talk about toxic parenting#Rant
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#hnkna#my lovely art#AUUAUAUAUUAUUAUAU I DID IT#LITERALLY A COMIC *JUST* FOR ME#is ok if its ooc or whatever its literally so self indulgentttttttt#WOOOOO!! I DID IT!!!!#KAMS WILL FINISH A HATTER HOUSE ROUTE AND NEED TO WRITE A BOOK AFTERWORD#make no mistake they will marry elliot too. but not yet lolol#WOWOOWOWOOW I DID IIIIT#edit 2/19/23: finally swapped 'fix it' for 'supplemental au'#at the time i wrote this i was incredibly negative about the actual in game material and didnt understand its inclusion in the game#at this point ive seen ppl who DID like it comment on why and i get it now.#it's not my fave still but i understand its existence and how it syncs with the themes of the story.#also i loooved the musical's version.#so consider this something to provide more angles to be mixed w/ the best parts of game+musical proposal scenes. ty.
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i might not be able to strike this monday :(
#swingset#i'll see if i can but my parents are gonna be gone this week so i might have to order food#because yk i have to make sure i eat#and food is really the only thing i strike from anyway because i don't spend on anything else on the day to day since im never the one that#does the shopping in this house#i mean if i can manage without ordering in on that day i'll try really hard to do so but with my arfid it's not really like i can predict#whether i'll be able to eat what's provided to me at the house#especially because my safe foods change pretty drastically between when my parents are home to when i'm alone#but anyway im not happy about the chance that i wont be able to strike#and it's making me yk#struck with The Guilt#or whatever
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keep saying i don't want 2 work another retail xmas but canNOT 4 the life of me make myself finish my goddamn fucking job applications !!!!!! death & dying & despair etc. etc.
#i dont dislike the application process for gc jobs on principle BUT#it does not mesh well w/ my difficulties re: starting & finishing tasks#but like i understand why u cant just send in a resume n hit done#NOT that there are many IT listings up atm...... and ill apply 4 clerical/admin stuff too#but an IT-1 STARTS a good $10k a year higher than a CR-5 soooooo :///#which is whatever its fine money isnt everything!! ill gladly make less if it means not hating my job!!!#but i also wanna. u know. LIVE. move out of my parents house. buy brand name snacks occasionally. maybe -gasp- go on a vacation#(not 2 say i dont make an attempt at travel now but thats with very finite savings that are def only going down not up)#also extremely frustrating 2 me the emphasis put on having a degree that completely locks me out of certain job categories#like. yes. there are for sure some where having the bg knowledge is important eg. an AU (auditor/accountant) or MA (methodologist)#and there are certain skills a degree (in theory) provides eg critical thinking research etc.#but not all of us have $40k+ to get tge fancy piece of paper saying we have those things. and u can have those skills w/o a degree#and smth like an EC which needs a degree in economics sociology or statistics is so arbitrary#and maybe not necessarily actually based in the majority of work done by the majority of positions in that category#ANYWAYS not me being bitter abt education standards YET AGAIN lol#idek if i could go to uni even if i could afford it. even tho i have 2 college diplomas id probably have 2 redo my grade 12 english 😶🌫️#also if money were no object id probably go for like. film studies or smth lol not sociology#tho. ngl. if i had the willpower and determination 4 smth so rigorous (i 100% dont) accounting does seem. interesting asdffhkkfdghh#ANYWAYS pt. 2 all this 2 say this is why i instead spent $10k+ on the only possible 2 yr diploma#that can still get u in2 the higher paying public service jobs. even tho ive discovered i Dont Particularly Care for programming. :(#thats an understatement actually i was actively in hell for like 80% of that program and the remaining 20% mostly wasnt coding
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I have successfully identified the HUGE friction point of “mowing the lawn” as actually being “asking the neighbors to use their mower” and also “struggling with a gas mower” and, following that, “other neighbors asking if I need help starting the gas mower because I am too weak to reliably pull the ripcord thing”
More importantly, I have solved it by ordering my OWN mower that will be arriving Thursday (so that, honestly, I can put it together and mow the lawn again on the weekend because it’s still so long that I know I’m gonna have problems with it if I don’t—but it should be easier because I will have my OWN mower by then)
And to do that I have successfully navigated the “how big in sqft is my lawn, dad” question and the “but my neighbors already judge me for my (lack of) lawn care; they will surely also think I’m a doofus for preferring a reel mower” pride point and have spent $100 on a mower similar to the one we had growing up that I actually enjoyed using to the point where I would go “no mom don’t worry about it, I’ll mow the lawn, can I mow the lawn??”
So although my lawn is bigger than the one I grew up with (and weedier, but less full of dog poop), dare I say. that I might be. looking FORWARD to mowing my lawn this weekend and really going Full Dad
Also part of my positive motivation for the reel mower was—not gonna lie—the review from a guy saying that he wasn’t a hippie who cared about the environment or wanted a hipster way of mowing the lawn and didn’t prefer drinking his coffee out of a French press, but boy did he appreciate this reel mower when he didn’t think he did! HILARIOUS. Unwittingly effective to me, a person who ranted about the stupidity and environmental unfriendliness of lawns and lawn mowing for a solid ten straight minutes just a few hours ago, and who might therefore be classified as the hippie and/or hipster who really loves their cold brew (tea) and who also is desperate for a mower that will not use gas
L M F A O
#god mowing the lawn while listening to music and/or a podcast!! can’t wait to be able to do that again#fuck gas mowers straight to hell#i might regret this when it rains for two straight weeks again and then I have to really struggle#but at least I won’t electrocute myself like is apparently a danger for damp grass and electric mowers!!! Christ#also hi my main complaint is that if the landlord insists that I do the lawn maintenance#they should provide me the tools with which I can do the lawn maintenance#and if they want it maintained in a particular fashion#(which they ABSOLUTELY do)#then actually they should divest me of the responsibility of maintaining the lawn#so like nah I really dgaf about the weeds in the lawn#or how the tree needs to be pruned or whatever#because oop! not my house#I don’t have a saw or pruners that would work on a tree#and I also don’t have a lawn mower (until Thursday)!#but anyway. oh well I guess. I have to live with a lawn for another year and a few months
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Hot take: by the time Hugo picked Les Mis back up in 1860 to finish it, I don't think he intended for Marius and Cosette's marriage to be a good or happy one.
#I just got home after being out of my house nearly fourteen hours#and it is past my bedtime with a very early start intended for tomorrow#but the gist of the argument is that Fantine was the best of us — the French empire under Bonaparte!#and Cosette as Hugo was writing her in 1848 was intended to be the extension of that progress!#and Marius in Bonapartism!#(and then you have the amis who are different levels of supporters of Robespierre and Babeuf and maybe even Lafayette a little)#different political philosophies and directions of taking France#and by 1860 when Hugo was picking up at Blotter Talks#he was fully aware that Actually returning to the Bonaparte line kinda sucked and so did that dick NIII#who forced Hugo to flee to England where he had to (gasp) listen to people speak God's imperfect middle child language English#and he was like ''actually Cosette marrying Marius isn't all it's cracked up to be#idk I'm probably missing a ton of crucial context and background that will easily swat down this theory#but as of 21.45 18 Oct 2022 GMT+8 or whatever that is my take#PLEASE feel free to provide more info#les mis#shitposting @ me#marius#marisette#cosette
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"HOW are we ever going to get our streets clean and uncluttered with all these dirty people messing it up?? They just keep bringing in more junk!"
*magic sparkle POOF and a cheerful worker appears*
"You need HOWsing™!"
*rotating shots of Unsightly Camps and Trash Piles replaced by HOWsing™, appropriate infrastructure, and unionized sanitation crews*
"Trash piles and unsightly camps got you down? Try HOWsing™!"
"Tired of needles on your streets? Try HOWsing™!"
"Does worry of new cholera epidemic keep you up at night? It's time for HOWsing™, now with indoor plumbing!"
*camera pans over clean streets with mixed use buildings and large, lovely shared public spaces that don't require payment to exist in*
"This is what HOWsing™ can do for YOUR neighborhood!"
*housed neighbor gasps* "Thanks, HOWsing™ fairy!"
*chuckle* "No need to thank me, I'm a government program paid for by fairly taxing all those conglomerate companies profiting off your manipulated need for ever more junk! Say, that's kinda like what you were complaining about your unhoused neighbor in the opening scene, wasn't it?"
*both laugh, screen dissolves to closing text:*
TRY HOWSING™ NOW!
#someone hire me im a marketing genius#homelessness#houselessness#this post brought to you by the bullshit take that finally got me to argue with nextdoor enough to successfully unsubscribe#i do not give a shit what housed ppl (incl me) think of sightliness or whatever the fuck btw#but for MARKETING purposes#ijs#we should try it#also there will still be people on the streets sometimes#because housing should be mandatory to provide and barrierless to access but not illegal to decline#and sleeping in public should never ever ever be a crime
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... please share some bernardino lonati info crumbs with us? Please 🥺 ascanio too if you want to
(PS. your art is so beautiful aaa💗)
YES (also thank you! 💗) oh my god okay so
They were!!! friends!!
Bernardino Lonati was from Pavia, and Ascanio spent a lot of time in Pavia in the earlier parts of his life and was also the apostolic administrator of Pavia, so it's very likely they knew each other as teenagers (Ascanio refers to Bernardino as his "cardinal from home")
Ascanio Maria Sforza: la parabola politica di un cardinale-principe del Rinascimento, Marco Pellegrini
and they were only a couple of years apart in age (Lonati was born in 1452, Ascanio was 1455)
Lonati was one of the cardinals that Ascanio had "made," (Sanseverino is another). Before that, though, he was Ascanio's secretary!
Popes, Cardinals and War, D.S. Chambers
in 1497, Ascanio fell seriously ill, like a lot of Rome thought he had died despite being alive because of how bad his condition was. Lonati was someone Ludovico Sforza got in contact with to try to navigate the situation, and Lonati and Sanseverino were part of a group that banded together to prevent Rodrigo Borgia (Pope Alexander VI) from seizing Ascanio's assets in the event of his death.
Ascanio Maria Sforza: la parabola politica di un cardinale-principe del Rinascimento, Marco Pellegrini
Every time Ascanio would go against the Vatican for one reason or another/in conflict with the pope (the reason is that Ascanio's loyalty went to Milan first and always), Lonati was one of the cardinals that always sided with him :)
So when Lonati fell ill and it was clear things weren't going to get better
Ascanio Maria Sforza: la parabola politica di un cardinale-principe del Rinascimento, Marco Pellegrini
Ascanio rushed to be with him in his final hours and was so grief stricken over it that he had to be physically pulled away from Lonati's bedside because they were concerned that Ascanio would become ill as well (this was later in 1497). After Lonati died, Ascanio took care of the finances: Lonati wanted to pass the beneficiaries on to family members, but could not do this without Ascanio signing off on it since Ascanio was the apostolic administrator of Pavia.
Asanio did him one better: He wrote to his brother, knowing that he could ensure Lonati's last wishes, and had the income from S. Savino and a third of the income from S. Antonio go to the son, and the minor benefits go to the nephew, and the remaining 2/3rds of the income Ascanio had donated to charitable works in honor of Lonati's soul.
and he was in charge of the funeral arrangements and monument :')
Ascanio Maria Sforza: la parabola politica di un cardinale-principe del Rinascimento, Marco Pellegrini
Lonati was buried in Santa Maria del Popolo, a church associated with Ascanio, and later Giuliano della Rovere (Pope Julius II) would have a tomb commissioned for Ascanio there too, which I feel so so so normal about.
Also, Lonati was considered a "poor cardinal" while he was alive, Ascanio was the driving force behind getting Lonati additional incomes.
Ascanio Maria Sforza: la parabola politica di un cardinale-principe del Rinascimento, Marco Pellegrini
and for some Ascanio trivia: he was gambled (literally) with Rodrigo Borgia on occasion, and was apparently an amateur musician on top of the Everything Else He Did 🎵
A Companion to Late Medieval and Early Modern Milan, edited by Andrea Gamberini
#i feel normal™ about whatever was going on with ascanio and lonati#other things ascanio enjoyed doing: horseback riding apparently. also hunting#ascanio juggling lucrezia's marriage arrangements and cesare's french affair and rodrigo trying to kick him out of vatican politics like#'cardinal sforza went to cardinal colonna's estates to relax his mind by hunting' BRO YOU'RE 43 TAKE A NAP OR SOMETHING#like. do you sleep. DO YOU SLEEP. YOU'VE EARNED A BREAK. << me saying this because chapter 13 of the ascanio biography is killing me#Events Do Not Stop Happening And I Am Just An Artist Who Is Trying So Hard To Keep Up With this#anyway i was up at 5am for reasons and was going to go back to bed for a bit but then i saw this ask and was immediately AWAKE#thank u anon this was more effective than any alarm clock followed by coffee#bernardino lonati#ask tag#rec tag#i wish i could provide you with primary (letter) sources but alas. i Do Not Live In Milan otherwise i'd live in the archives forever#i have. pictures of both ascanio and lonati's tombs? the monument/sculpture part. i think#im confident in ascanio's and less so about lonati since. again. never been to italy. would love to go someday!#and im relying on this one person's photography to not be lying to me with lonati hshdfhghg#(im confident about ascanio tho bc we got museums to confirm and also art history books. della rovere did interesting things with him)#long post#thanks for the ask anon!!! i love Every Opportunity I Get To Talk About The House Sforza (what i call ascanio and his friends lmao)#renaissance papacy tag
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woke up in a cold sweat after dreaming that rcg became infinitely more cringe
#i don't remember exactly what their new thing was but i wouldn't describe it if i could#but it was just shameless and lazy and out of touch and yet still a cash grab#and my parents (mom mainly) somehow knew and disapproved?? i think that was in the mix bc you can't just have interests or like things in#this house your things are either gonna get shat on often and profusely or only sometimes#if one parent doesn't hate what you love the other one is gonna#i'm tired of explaining and apologizing for being myself all the time because these people refuse to be open and accept who their#own fucking children are lol#and it's tiring to live under scrutiny and social media already provides me (and us) with scrutiny and i'm already sensitive to it#because my parents couldn't be normal about me 🙄 and then there are men and capitalism out there and that's scary..#and it's scary that so many people unabashedly chase money or fame or whatever and put on masks and btw an influencer is a#type of horror creature#anyway that's all whatever‚ it also scares me that it's possible to hurt yourself through parasociality gysgxy and that loving anything#that someone else made comes with uhh implications. it shouldn't (i should allow myself to exist) but it does for me#and this was all wrapped in a nice little shit bundle of awkwardness and pity and regret and i did not like this dream#kata.txt
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