#posted it early bc i'm feeling generous
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Stitch Me Up | L.HS
underground fighter!heeseung x nurse!reader
warnings: smut (mdni), ex heeseung, unprotected sex, cream pie, weapon and blood mention, if i missed anything lmk!
wc: 4.5k+
synopsis: after a tough shift in the hospital all you wanted was to rid yourself of the tension and your ex turns up just in time
a/n: hi! hope you're all doing well. a quick one shot from me so i hope you like it. not much to say on this one <3 ilysm
Dragging your feet behind you, you unlock your door. Everything that went wrong today could have gone wrong; first, you caught your fingers in the mobile hoist, a patient spat in your face, and you spent the last 30 minutes of your shift cleaning shit from the toilets.
No one ever said being a nurse was a glamorous job, but on days like these, you wish you picked something a little more dignifying.
You kick your shoes off and head to your bedroom to grab some pajamas. Every bit of you is emotionally and physically drained, this past month has been exhausting. Working 70-hour weeks and being underpaid for it was starting to take its toll on your fragile body.
Nights like these you miss Heeseung, you shouldn’t but you do.
Picking up scattered clothes that made a mess of your bedroom floor, you groan when your lower back aches. Someone in their 20s shouldn’t be in this much pain. They should be living their best life, staying up late, going out at the weekend, and having a healthy social life.
You love your job, it’s rewarding and you love to take care of people. Seeing people who are in your ward get better makes your heart feel full like your life is actually worth something and doing some good in this shitty world.
You used to have balance. Heeseung was your balance.
Sifting through your drawers you find some pink shorts with white love hearts and a cropped white tank top. Usually, you would settle for a set of sweats and a baggy t-shirt but after practically spending 3 days straight in unflattering scrubs you wanted something pretty.
When you walk you can feel the pain in your feet, and blisters start to form. You needed this shower asap. Luckily the bathroom is less than 5 steps away from your bedroom door so you can keep your hobbling to a minimum. The shower is so enticing as you switch the button on and set the temperature just right, or in your case, scolding hot.
A roasting hot shower is what you need to forget today. You need Heeseung’s hands to melt away the pain.
You miss him.
Heeseung and you have been broken up for precisely 1 month and 13 days. For some reason today you can’t shake him off your mind.
The water cascades down your skin, tiny droplets sit on your face as you wash your hair. The smell of coconut fills the tiny box bathroom and for the first time today, you feel content.
After you rinse the conditioner from your hair and wash your body with a matching scented soap, you pull the shower curtain back and step out carefully - the last thing you need is to fall and break a bone.
Wiping the mirror to rid it of the steam you stare at yourself. The dark circles under your eyes and the redness of your cheeks showcase just how tired your body is. Nothing an overpriced and overrated skincare routine can’t fix. You grab the cleanser and start your regime. It reminds you of him, how he used to always help you, the pads of his fingers gently rubbing the product into your skin, and when he had any left over he would use it on himself. He looked so cute and sweet during those times.
What is with you today? Why do you keep thinking about him?
Quickly, you dry your hair and body with the towel and get ready for bed. Typically, you would sit up and watch an episode or two of Brooklyn 99 but honestly, you’re too burnt out to enjoy it.
As you leave the bathroom there is a knock at the door and you freeze on sight. It’s late and none of your friends would come over, so your brain goes into panic mode. Being a girl alone in her flat was scary enough these days never mind taking in the factor of the time. All the lights are off so hopefully if you just stay still, they’ll leave.
Another knock.
Grabbing a coat hanger from the clothesline in the bathroom you arm yourself with it, it would do enough damage to the person on the other side of the door if you had to escape.
So you couldn’t second guess yourself, you briskly tiptoed to the door and swung it open, hanger tightly in your grip ready to swing.
The figure turns around and jumps, backing up when they see the coathanger ready to be lobbed at their face.
“Woah, Y/N. It’s just me.” He puts his hands in front of him in defense.
Heeseung.
You breathe out and relax, dropping your arms to your side. Although your exterior seems to have gotten over the fright, your heart is thumping still. That could be because when you look him in the eyes finally you register who he is.
“Heeseung it’s past midnight, what are you doing here?”
He steps forward and you see his face battered and bruised, his lip has been bust open and a black eye forming on the left side of his face, he was a mess. There have been countless times he’s looked like this, it’s how you two met.
A year ago there was a knock on your door, not unlike tonight, except that time your friend Jongseong was carrying a half-to-life version of Heeseung. The boy couldn’t stand on his own two feet.
“Y/N, sorry, I didn’t know where to go, he didn’t want to go to the hospital,” Jongseong explained, although it didn’t clear anything up.
“What the fuck, Jongie, who is this?” You grab the other side of the spent boy and sit him down on the couch, “What happened to him?” Looking at the guy in front of you, you see the blood on his t-shirt, slash marks on his arms, and his face is blown out.
Jongseong rushes to get the first aid kit from your bathroom, “He was fighting tonight and some arsehole pulled a knife on him, and got him in the stomach a few times,” You lift the fabric covering his torso and see wounds bleeding, “I tried to pull him out of the fight but he wasn’t having it.”
You don’t know a lot about Jongseong’s work life, all you know is that by day he’s a simple office body, filling, paperwork, a pen pusher of sorts. But when night came he was an underground fighter, all of it illegal, but he fell into it with some guys at the gym. From what you hear he is pretty good at it.
“Heeseung, buddy?” Jongseong slaps the boy's face a few times, “Stay awake, this is Y/N, she’s a nurse.” So his name was Heeseung.
“Jongie, these are pretty serious, he needs to go to the hospital.”
“No hospital.” Heeseung coughs out. You suppose if you take him to A&E how could any of them explain what happened?
You rub his legs to soothe him, “Okay, no hospital.”
That night you stitched his wounds and cleaned him up. Obviously, he survived, and you took him in like an injured winged bird. Let him stay at yours for 2 weeks, and by the time he was ready to fly away back into the world, you wanted him to stay forever.
You look him up and down to take in his outfit, he wasn’t wearing sweats so this wasn’t a scheduled fight, instead, he was clad in jeans, a White Stripes t-shirt, and a loose-fitting leather jacket, “What the fuck happened, Heeseung?”
“Is it lame if I say you should see the other guy?” He laughs but nothing is funny.
Stepping aside you let him into your flat which he does like second nature, his shoes left exactly where they used to go, “Heeseung you can’t just come here looking like this and not tell me what happened.” On autopilot, you go to get the first aid kit.
He takes a seat on your kitchen counter and looks around, “Nothing much happened, some guys being dicks.”
You come back from the bathroom and see him atop your kitchen, “Eh, get down from there. Now.” He always perched himself on anything but a seat. It didn’t bother you too much but right now after your shift, you couldn’t be arsed to pander to it, “Try and treat my place with a bit of respect please.”
Heeseung jumps off and walks to take a seat on the edge of your couch. It might be wrong of you to think it but he does look beautiful like this. You blame Leon Kennedy in Resident Evil for your attraction to busted up men.
As you open the first aid kit you feel his eyes on you, “Why did you come here, Heeseung? You could have treated this yourself.”
“I missed you.” He confesses and it’s true he did miss you.
For the past month he’s been throwing himself into fights he knows he won’t win just to feel something other than heartache. In spite of his cold attitude and reckless behaviour, he held your love so gently in his heart that he couldn’t even act tough around you. From the first day he laid eyes on you, he knew you had to be his, and if that meant opening up his heart, that’s what he did.
A first he thought it was because you were fixing his wounds and he owed you something but that thought quickly vanished when you fixed more than that.
“Heeseung, we broke up. It’s done.” You say coldly. With the thoughts of missing him earlier still fresh in your brain, you had to nip this in the bud.
When you broke up with Heeseung it wasn’t exactly because you wanted to, it was to protect yourself. His lifestyle and yours don’t mix, he was always getting into trouble and you were trying to avoid it at all costs. But more importantly than that, you couldn’t see the man you love come home every night exactly how he is now, broken and beaten.
The deeper into the fight circuit Heeseung got, the more dangerous it was. People were pulling knives, guns, and bringing back up, all for the sake of making sure their bosses won the bets. Your ex-boyfriend was a great fighter - or so you’ve heard, he never let you come to any of the fights - but these other guys played dirty and it was a threat to his life.
So when you asked him to stop and he said no, you did what you had to and called it off. You lost sleep, precious never to be taken for granted sleep, every night he fought and it was taking its toll on you. You tried to compromise with him and pleaded with him to go back to the regulated (if you could even call them that) fights, the ones where the stakes are lower.
However, Heeseung was above that now, too much of a hot commodity.
“Baby, I’m making us enough money so you don’t have to do so much overtime.”
“Seungie, I’m a nurse, all we do is overtime. Plus, this shouldn’t be about the money, it’s about your safety.” Your voice is cracking with every sentence you have uttered tonight, but he still won’t listen, “I’m not asking you to give it up, but please stop taking these high-stakes fights, you’re going to get killed.”
Heeseung scoffs and places a hand on your shoulder, “I won’t die, I’ve got you to stitch me up.”
“No, Seungie, you don’t. I can’t do this anymore.”
It was a brutal way to end it, none of you walked into that conversation expecting that outcome, but for you, it was the only thing you could do.
Soaking a cotton pad with some anti-septic, you place it gently on his lip, a hiss from him following your action, “Sorry.” You whisper. A sorry for the pain but also for breaking up with him. No matter how much you knew it was right for you, you knew it was hard on him. Opening himself up to love you wasn’t easy for Heeseung.
“I’m used to it, baby.” Your heart cries as he calls you baby, it always sounded so perfect coming from him.
“What did the guys do?” You ask and he looks at you with those beautiful eyes, masked behind purple and blue, “You said guys were being dicks, so what did they do?”
He didn’t want to waste energy on it, the fight being over in a flash anyway, “Just stuff. They got a jump on me hence the mess.” He moves his hand to gesture to his face but while his hand is already there, it engulfs yours, the one that’s cleaning the blood from his mouth, “Baby, I didn’t start it.”
“I know, Seungie.” You feel yourself falling back into how it used to be, his thumb running circles into your hand.
Once you finish up, you place a skin closure strip on his mouth, your thumb rubbing gently to secure it in place. He takes the opportunity to take your thumb into his mouth and you nearly moan at the intimate act.
But this isn’t how it is now.
“Heeseung.” You warn him.
He releases your thumb and sighs, “Habit.” He was a man of few words, you knew that, so there was no need to say anything more.
“You should go. Keep it clean, and put some ointment on that black eye.”
“I miss you so fucking much, Y/N.” Ignoring him, you walk into the bathroom to return the first aid kit, “Don’t you miss me?”
It almost makes you laugh. You missed him more than anything, so much so that after the shitshow that was today all you could think about was him. All you wanted was for him to wrap you in his arms and tell you everything is fine, but that is a wish that can’t be a reality anymore.
“It’s not about missing you Heese-”
“I’ll quit.”
You turn the bathroom light off and brush past him, “No, you won’t. We both know it so don’t lie to me, don’t start that now.”
Heeseung is a beat behind you when you walk into your bedroom, “Y/N, believe me.” He knew you didn’t need to believe him, there wasn’t even a reason to believe him because he had said this before. But this time is different, “If you just listen to me,”
“No, I don’t think I will.” The stare you have on him is angry, “I offered you a solution for all of this, and honestly? I am so tired of this conversation now. I need you to go.”
Hurt flickers in his eyes, “Baby, I’m miserable without you.”
Agitation builds up inside you. He’s acting like this is solely your fault, like you were the one that caused all this. Granted, you broke up with him but it was after giving him every solution to stop it, “This is not my doing, Seungie, okay?” He wants to retaliate but you snip in before he gets the chance, “You love fighting those losers more than you ever did me, you made that clear.”
He sees red at your allegation. How dare you even think for a second you weren’t his number one. Sure, he didn’t want to give up fighting, it was who he was, but he also didn’t want to lose you, he sees that now. He has to prove to you just how much you mean to him.
Heeseung takes two long strides to you and kisses you hungrily. It’s been so long since he felt your lips in his. The stinging from his wound is dull compared to how he feels to have you like this again, he has a whole month of kisses and fucking to catch up on and nothing will stop him.
“I love you so much don’t you dare fucking say that.” It was a rarity for him to say that he loves you out loud. You knew he did, it was his actions that showed his love more than words, but hearing it made your eyes well with tears. Because he didn’t say it much, you cherished every single time he did.
You fall onto the bed behind you, his weight crashing onto you as you both lose yourselves in the kiss, all that anger and hurt dissipated each of his kisses.
Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you try and deepen the kiss but he pulls away. He takes off his jacket and t-shirt and that’s when you see the bruises dispersed along his chest and torso. This fight must have been a lot more brutal than he let on.
Sitting up you kiss each bruise while he straddles your lap, gently showing love for each one. The nurse in you wants to tend to them right away, they really did a number on his stomach and you’re slightly concerned about the damage done to his insides. But right now all he needs is a few kisses to make it better.
“They don’t hurt, promise.” He assures you, but if you kiss him too hard, which isn’t hard at all, he winces. To fixate on something other than the pain he whips off your tank top and just the sight of your breasts has him feeling a-okay, “Missed you so much.”
You could laugh at his obvious ogling but with your burnt out body and his just the same, you just needed to feel him, “Seungie, please,” You whine into his right peck as you kiss him over his darkest bruise again.
Heeseung understands your pleas and pushes you flat against the bed before undoing his jeans and not so gracefully kicking them off, “What do you want, baby? I’ll do it all.”
To quit fighting. That’s what you want to say, but you can’t risk the idea of an argument, not when you’re so close to having him inside you again, “Fuck me, Heeseung. Please.”
This is all he’s been dreaming about since you told him to go. Your love wasn’t the only thing he craved.
Dipping his head down to yours he kisses you again, his hands dipping into your cute pajama shorts to pull them down, “Can I eat your pussy baby?”
You would love nothing more than to feel his tongue all over you but you are truly exhausted, “I have had such a hard shift Seungie, just need your cock to make me feel better.” You’re lifting your hips into his as you say this, staring into his eyes to let him know he has to do this soon or you’ll crash.
“Okay, baby.” He brings two of his fingers to your folds to assess how easy you could take him. You’re wet but you could be wetter for him. Heeseung is an average size but if you’ve been without sex for a month like he had hoped you’d need a little more.
He clambers over you to reach the top drawer and grab some lube. His cock is basically in your face so who were you to not have a taste of it? You sit up on your elbows and your mouth engulfs his member. He's so shocked by the sudden action he nearly drops the bottle, “Shit, baby.” His free hand finds its way into your hair as you bob up and down his shaft, “Missed that mouth of yours.” He breathes out, “Missed it sucking me off, missed it saying my name, fuck I even missed it bossing me around.”
Pulling back you look at him with an unamused look but he uses it as an excuse to kiss you once again.
Slithering down to his previous position he coats his cock with some of the lube, sparing some for your hole, slipping a finger into you to slick your inner walls with it. You turn into a moaning mess as you feel his fingers for the first time in so long, your hips involuntarily buck up.
“I’ll only be a minute, baby.” Once he feels satisfied you won’t feel any pain, he slides his finger out and rubs the head of his cock on your pussy. He isn’t even teasing you but you feel like he is with how long he is taking.
Abruptly, he pushes into your heat, the feeling of you around him makes his head spin. No one will ever feel as good as you, that’s why he’s willing to do anything to have you, “So good,” he exhales, “So fucking good, baby.” Bottoming out, he can’t stop a loud groan from erupting out his mouth. You’ve missed the sound so much.
He starts to thrust into you at a fast pace once he knows your walls have settled, each hit making the room fill with sounds of skin slapping and curses. With the way he’s fucking you, you would think you hadn’t seen each other in years, but he craves you so much that even one day without the option of you around his cock was unbearable.
“Shit, Seungie please go faster.” He listens to you and picks up the pace, knowing how tired you are he needs to get you off quickly.
Between your thighs, his hand finds your clit as he starts to rub it harshly. You look unreal right now, with your mouth open and head thrown back into the mattress.
Lifting your right leg over your shoulder he reaches a deeper spot, his cock pounding into you with ferocity it makes you squeeze around him, “Oh fuck, baby, do that again.” You squeeze his shaft with your walls again, “Fucking pussy feels like heaven.” He whispers to himself.
His hips keep a harsh rhythm, the sharpness of each thrust sending you more and more over the edge, “Close.” Is all you say.
“Yeah? Gonna cum for me, baby?” he smirks, happy knowing that he’s about to feel your ecstasy around him, “Cum for me, Y/N.”
And just like that your pussy comes undone on his dick that is still mercilessly pummeling into you. A loud mewl draws out your mouth and your hands grab onto the duvet under you, he’s making you feel bliss right now.
Heeseung can feel himself getting closer and if he wants full satisfaction he needs to cum now while your walls are contracting thoughtlessly, he needs you to milk his cock dry.
Feeling him lose his rhythm a little you know he just needs a little something to bring him over the edge, “Seungie, need your cum so bad.” He loved it when you begged for his seed.
“Yeah? How bad?”
“I’m starving for it.”
The last few words have his hips stuttering and ropes of his cum shooting into you, filling you up just how you like it.
You’ve finally regained composure from your own high and just in time to see his slack jaw and eyes screwed shut. He was one of the few people that looked good when they orgasmed and you loved when you got to see him in all his glory.
Heeseung falls onto you briefly to catch his breath, the pain from his stomach coming back slowly but that doesn’t matter right now, “Let me clean you up.” He slides out of you and goes to get supplies to look after you.
Because your job requires you to look after everyone around you, it was nice how Heeseung would do aftercare so well, making sure you’re okay.
He takes a while but as he comes back he’s holding a damp cloth and bottle of water in one hand and a cup of tea in the other, “Sit up for me baby.”
After placing the tea and water on the bedside table he starts to run the cloth along your sensitve area. He loved to see you full of his cum, every time the white substance would leak from you he felt a bit of pride so washing it away like this was mourningful.
“I have quit.” He says lowly, “Fighting, I mean. I quit this morning.”
“But you only said you would quit earlier?” You question, recalling the previous conversation.
“I wanted to see if you would believe me.”
You’re dubious, not understanding what he’s saying, “You can’t just quit like that, Seungie. You told me it wasn’t that easy.”
And it wasn’t. It’s not like you can hand in a two week notice and call it a day, there are too many stakeholders involved, too much money being thrown around to just up and off.
“Yeah, you can see it wasn’t so painless.” He finishes cleaning you off and goes to place the rag in the washing basket.
“What do you mean?” As he walks into the room you see his bruises again and it all hits you at once, “The guys being dicks…”
Heeseung nods and jumps back into his boxers but not anything else with the hopes you want him to stay, “Told them I wasn’t doing it anymore and next thing I know I’m on the floor.” He laughs embarrassed at the memory.
This was technically your fault, you asked him to stop the high stake fights and this is what happened.
Seeing your face, Heeseung sits on the bed next to you and cups your cheek, “Hey, no, I know what you’re thinking but you didn’t make me quit. I chose too. This is my doing”
“But I asked you to.” You look down and trace over his bruises lightly.
“Yeah, but I said no at first.” His hand runs into your damp hair, “I decided to quit this morning because losing you isn’t worth it. I meant it when I said i’m fucking miserable.”
Sighing you fear this happiness in your chest is going to disappear at any moment, “It’s what you love though, Seungie.”
“I love you.” He hates that you have this preconceived notion that somehow he loves fighting more than you, “And I know I should have said it more when we were together but, baby, give me another chance so I can keep saying it.”
You want to cry again, “Have you actually quit? No more fights?”
He places his hand on his heart, “I quit, promise. The only fights now will be with guys who stare at you too long.”
Laughing, you remember a time he clocked two guys out for even offering you a drink. Heeseung has always been protective of you, that’s why you missed him so much today. Coming home after a grueling shift made you want nothing more than for him to hold you.
He’s offering you that chance again and you can’t turn it down, “I love you, Heeseung.”
“Fuck, baby, I love you too.” His lips are on yours again as he pours his love into you, his devotion.
Heeseung wasn’t letting you go again. Not for any fight in the world.
#enha smut#enhypen smut#heeseung#heeseung smut#enha x reader#enhypen x reader#heeseung x reader#aj writes#posted it early bc i'm feeling generous#enhypen angst
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been working on answering a prompt i received in an ask the other day, and so i'm back thinking about... the Thing... 💖🎀 and thought maybe prompt doodles might help me work through this a little?
so uhhh.... if by any wild chance anyone has any ship suggestions for starstruck...??? feel free to send them through!
#this is *only* for starstruck and is not general requests! i'm just trying to figure out how i feel about this 😳#obviously no guarantees that i will be confident enough to draw any of these or that i'll enjoy them all but i just... am considering it?#idk idk idk is this stupid....#hope i won't regret this or won't get genuinely weirdass things.#just to be transparent this is sfw exclusively tho implied flirting is a-okay. please don't be weird....? i'm trusting folks to be nice!!#i would also happily take little prompts if you have thoughts about how it would work or whichever! like if you're a character Understander#if you have an idea how it would Work or what it might Be Like that would also help me to get a concept on how i feel about it!!#also i would.. consider ocs (only from their creator) if you... wanna??? character+artist *must* be an adult. starstruck is in her early 30#also with ocs preferably from folks who i've at least interacted with before and like.. not just bc u want art ;;;#like... do u geniunely think they could have a cute dynamic? i'm just wondering if she could be Cute w someone. AUUghhGHHHH#again no promises and also for now i need this all done on the assumption it's just for fun!! just funsies. i'm just... thinking i guess!#want to try and figure out what it might be like if she WAS involved in a little ship/romo space...? as a treat? auughghhggghGHGLLG#also fair warning i may just get super embarrassed/nervous about this all and delete!! but i'm.. yknow. trying!#also i figure you can kind of tell my faves and who i hardly know much about. might not have lots of feelings about most side chars!#delete later#probably#wheeeeeEEEEeeahahahah okay;;; just post it. just post it starflung. just do it. hit the button hit the button hit the b
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I'm like if a living girl were a rotting corpse
#�� i need to finish my essay so i can start wrapping up the bigbang project so i can start studying#i gen dk how it's gonna work i didn't really think the posting period would be in early february#and not only is my work nowhere near finished but i'm still also like. 2k words away from the minimum#and i'll be quite honest with youse. i've kinda lost the will to write that sorta stuff so i can't even say#i'll finish it with time bc that time might take me until i graduate#bc i wanna write short stories and less plot more vibes#and well. this is all plot.#i'm also just generally unhappy with my writing as of late i feel like i'm losing my touch
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I'm in a mood right now and I'm going to load my queues back up soon so my blogs are more than just bland salt, but truly fandom was a mistake, I don't think I'm having fun with it at this point, and I want to just go back into my hole where I reblog or RT fanart and shitposts and just avoid anything with a whiff of discourse.
And, yes, that means avoiding the legitimate conversations, too, bc a lot of people don't know how to act in the mentions of those. I want to be ignorant of fandom shit, the real world already sucks so much ass.
#bog post#ugh also i have to work today and I'm getting a late start#crankiness all around for me#stay salty#I'm legit getting gunshy about sharing my BG3 OCs or headcanons in public#bc I've seen the things people say about the types lf PCs i make or ships i lile#even ostensibly people i agree with generally#and the vitriol and open blanket judgments in such a 'young' fandom#(vs like the DA fandom which has had years to get THIS toxic and specific and shit)#is just... man i don't know#i know the early access was out for a while but things exploded into a legit fandom on launch#i feel like I'm just chilling here with my drow PCs and my m/f ships#and it's a coin flip of whether or not i can just browse fandom tags without catching a half dozen strays#i know 'not all' whatevers#I'm an adult who can process whether or not something is ABOUT me#but that processing still takes work and it's wearing at me#fandom is meant to be fun and this isn't fun
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Gomens s2 ramble under the cut so. spoilers
This is going to be Aziraphale heavy bc I can't stop thinking about him. He sees the good in God and the good in humanity and the good in Crowley and just the good in so many things that it blinds him to their faults
His first lie stemming from saving Job's kids instead of letting them die bc heaven deemed them a worthy sacrifice to challenge a man's faith was a huge step! Also him finding the joy in good food as well was truly such a humanizing moment for him
During their time with the medical body snatching he is met with pretty heavily the idea that sometimes good people have to do bad things to get by. His rigid lawful nature gets in the way of this poor girl trying to survive so severely that it kills her friend. He's in such a privileged position that he has to learn first hand that people don't do bad things because they want to, but because sometimes they have no other choice to survive (tbf this is the same position the angels are in. the entire show.)
Later after he sleight-of-hands the demon's photo of him & Crowley in kahoots, they talk about shades of gray and both him & Crowley joke "very very dark gray" and "very very light gray" (or, grey bc gomens is British lol)
But the thing is Crowley does see in shades of gray. He always has. When he asked too many questions and got kicked out of heaven and when he saved Job's goats and sheep. When he suggested they split the demon/angel work in S1. He's the first one to realize he's on his own side, he has his own agency and he very clearly acts on it
Whereas Aziraphale...really, really means "very very light gray". When offered TOP DOG position in heaven, where he's told he can make a difference and really show his skills, he sees the position for the good it can do! He can become a full time angel again AND can be together with Crowley as his right hand AND is convinced he will have the power to enact whatever selfish wants he desires (because Aziraphale IS selfish) that he forgets the fact that heaven isn't an ally. That they still want a war, that they are too rigid and have their own vindictive streak and don't understand the weight of their actions on humanity
ofc Crowley sees it a mile away but it's so so much harder for a character who comes from a rigid, rule abiding place to break away from the comfort of said rigidity & rules. He assumes Crowley wants to be an angel again because he wants to be an angel again. He never stopped being one even after they unaligned themselves from heaven/hell, and when, as Nina & Maggie pointed out, you don't talk to each other about important things, it's easy to see that his want to return to heaven bleeds into assuming Crowley wants the same thing.
I don't really know where this is going but I absolutely understand his position at the end of s2 and why he chose it. It fits his character even tho it's absolutely a step in the wrong direction, and I can't wait for s3 for him to realize why and finally cross that line from "very very light gray" into actually realizing his side is with humanity and Crowley instead of heaven
#Good omens#It's 3am and I work early tomorrow but I have Thoughts on where they ended with Aziraphale#There's more feelings about like the general season that I'm not gonna post now bc it's late but I couldn't stop thinking about this so.#into tumblr it goes even if no one reads it#Kristen watches gomens
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can never describe enough how excited I am for the inevitable 2010s revival of the future
(also this turned into a massive ramble accidentally?)
#like i know there are already kids being like ''i wish i was a teenager in 2014 😭'' but i mean like#you know how like the past 5 years have been so 80s inspired#and also 90s#and how the 90s were really into the 60s#and i cannot wait for all the awful aesthetics that were everywhere when i was 12 to come back#bc i'm curious how it'll look. bc obviously it won't be like. the 2010s are back#it'll be this romanticised idea of the 2010s and i wonder which parts will be rejected and which parts you'll see Everywhere#god i feel like there needs to be a new Thing that causes the need for nostalgia#e.g. in the 70s when punk and indie started as a response to the way music was getting so. idk. complicated or whatever#or like kind of inaccessible to do yourself. like dgmw prog rock slaps disco slaps etc. but not everyone could just. do that#and then punk happened and it was so simplified like no long guitar solos or whatever it was so stripped down. and same with indie#not to ramble about what was in my dissertation but early indie was SO 60s influenced it was unreal. and. it was the nostalgia.....#and then i guess with punk there was new wave and post punk and then new romantics and synthpop and things got synthier and then idk#the 80s were so electronic which. again it slaps. but then it got to a point that it was Too Much again that there needed to be a Return#to the past and stuff. so then grunge and britpop and other stuff happened#and idek it always seems to be there's a new music genre or new subculture that evolves over a few years into different things#before getting too much and the next generation wants to go back so they make a new genre. which then evolves and the cycle goes on#but (at least from what I've seen. which probably isn't a lot bc i live under a rock) there doesn't seem to be anything New lately?#everything's all revivals of older genres now. like i haven't seen any new equivalent to emo or britpop or punk or beat or rock n roll etc#like a thing that Changes the timeline. and i was reading this essay about the new beatles song saying how we don't need a new beatles song#even though the new song's still cool it was kind of saying like everything nowadays is recycled and nothing is shocking anymore#like nostalgia is so big now. with all the film remakes and stuff like that. there is nooTHING NEWLY NEW. IDEK. I am rambling so much#just thinking about many things. this was sparked bc i listened to twilight by cover drive and it literally transported me back to year 7#and that led to early 10s nostalgia and by the time that comes back into fashion will the nostalgia problem be worse or will something have#happened within that time. like a new punk or something. tbf i guess a lot of what I'm talking about is to do with rock and i mean#there's rap and stuff which i don't listen to a lot of so idk maybe there's stuff going on there which i don't know about. but then#i want there to be something i Do know about. like something you can't escape. kids are all dressing like this and listening to this and#we WILL hear about it. new proper subculture that isn't just a week long tiktok trend. ykw i blame tiktok for all of this lol#but yeah. holy shit tag limit#ramble
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okay so I’m 100% on board with the jokes about how stephen maturin kills a guy with a 'phallic paperweight' because they truly are funny as hell but also I’m fascinated by how the scene actually goes down. Bc he DOESN'T kill the guy with it! he just knocks him out. What he does kill him with is a lancet.
Given that, every other time it comes up, he draws a VERY hard line at using the tools of his trade as a physician to kill, it's actually super relevant to where he's at in that scene and in Fortune of War in general that that's how it goes down. lines are blurring, certainties are being erased, and everything feels out of control. huge fan of how well that scene conveys those ideas.
#the scene imo is very firmly grounded in the pain and disorientation of his changing feelings towards diana#so how i read that scene is that it's pointing towards the pain of apparently falling out of love being like some kind of emotional surgery#stephen has to go through this pain in order to be capable of a somewhat healthier relationship with her in the future#i'm fighting the temptation to add more qualifiers to 'healthier' bc everything with them is a mess all the time. love them <3#but one of the problems with their early relationship is stephen building a pedestal for her that rivals the fucking tower of babel#and is equally damaging to any real communication between them#like they never quite manage to communicate with each other (diana has to practically hand him a script in the surgeon's mate)#but i think stephen seeing her at a low point for both of them takes off the blinders#and afterward he's able to engage with her a little more as a human and not some capricious goddess of the hunt#these are just general musings not coherent thoughts or i'd make a separate post lol#the fortune of war#the surgeon's mate#also the pocket lancet thing makes me think of seward in dracula which cracks me up
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NIGHT IN THE BRUME
#🌙 rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#THIS MASTERPIECE. THIS SONG . it's so special to me#wait thinking abt it rn makes me feel like crying. night in the brume represents a lot of my emotions across time#i rmber when i finally reached ishgard way back in early 2021 i cried so much#n that meant so much to me bcs ffxiv really helped me be more open w my emotions again. it was so hard for me for the longest time#n i was so stressed at that time w the future i rmber but ffxiv really slows down time for me and comforts me#the feeling of success i felt when i reached that milestone in game. i finished arr. that meant so much to me#this melody brings back so much memories. it's safe enough for me that i can easily lose myself in it n be at peace#it reminds me of moments n late nights like these where i'm alone in my room w everyone else sleeping n there's just a light to my left#before i knew of emet's existence alphinaud/aymeric/haurchefant were my top 3 faves. all have connections w ishgard#listening to this song reminds me of all those moments as a sprout when i'd just chill in ishgard. or do msq. or wait in queue to level#times where i'd just happily take pics of my wol like i'm her mom or smth. posting on my priv twt. i was so young#i'd find peace and comfort in this little world in my video game. i was on free trial tho so i didn't play w any friends for so long#early months of summer soon i didn't know what i was doing. being stuck in the free trial reflected my own hopelessness w life in general#when finally buying the game tho i rmber logging into the inn of ishgard. i rmber going to ul'dah n finally being able to play w apollo#i rmber later on taking screenshots in ishgard as well n just relaxing. n night in the brume/solid wld play in the back#n it also just reminds me of a lot of things i've written. whether it be related to ishgard for example or while listening to the song#i rmber writing before abt imagining late night walks in ishgard while holding the hand of someone you love#imagine looking up at the beautiful night sky. it's a bit cold w the chill of the breeze but there's warmth w the person by your side#no responsibilities. deep talks or silence; whichever it may be it still gives you comfort.#looking back at my old notes my lore for my wol was 'in hw she learned to trust again'#oh god i already shed a few tears earlier but i feel like crying again bcs i still rmber writing these words so clearly#that was a time where i really really needed a long hug. n maybe rn i need that as well.#;;; i have notes on wolgraha here but for apollo's sake i'll change that to wol/oc omg#damn it's been nearly 2 whole years since i've (mostly consistently) written what happens nearly everyday#huh. 2022's nearly over n it scares me how fast time seems to pass by. remembering hurts so much but it also gives me sm comfort T_T#years months weeks days. sm changes so quickly. it hurts so much idk what to do abt it when there's nothing that cld console that#it's nearly 3 am tho i'll do a few things first then i'll head to sleep
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Rolan Headcanons: marriage and domesticity
pairing: Rolan x gn!reader
〚 Masterlist | WIP List 〛
I'm sorry if any of this feels reminiscent or repetitive of Gale's marriage and domesticity headcanons, they are very similar men, but I'm trying my best to add variety <3
I've discussed many of these with @viennacherries so I just want to throw her some credit for any of her ideas that have seeped into my brain and bled into this post <33333
-MDNI-
01. Marriage:
I struggled so hard when writing the pining and dating headcanons but now.... buckle in bitches (affectionate)
I want to be married to Rolan so bad dude
Rolan LOVES introducing you to people as his wife/husband/spouse once you're married - he is literally so proud to be married to you
not even because "Wow look at me I'm married to the hero of Baldur's Gate", but just because of who you are as a person and how much he loves you
in the beginning, whenever he hears you refer to him as your husband, his tail swishes happily and he starts purring without realizing it - it's very quiet, but you notice
after a few occurrences, you point it out to him one night because you find it so endearing - he lowkey freaks out he's like WAIT I DO??
If you don't want kids, he's completely fine with it bc he gets to be the cool uncle when Cal and/or Lia have kids
If you do want kids........ well, it's complicated (begging you to wait for my 'conceiving/pregnancy/fatherhood' hc posts because I will go into hella detail)
on one of the last nights of your honeymoon, you make a comment about how much you had been enjoying going to sleep and waking up next to him every day during your trip; making a little joke about how that wouldn't be the case once he returned to his work when you two got home
and even though it was only meant to tease him lightheartedly, and even though you reassured him of such once you saw his face scrunch in concern, it was the only thing he could think about for a while
upon returning from your honeymoon, he'd do his best to be there with you when you laid down for the night - and tries to be around for you more often, generally speaking
it doesn't work super well at first, but he's definitely trying
as per my dating headcanon post, he cooks dinner for you once a tenday as a little at-home date night - and once you're married he'll start doing it more often
after maybe 5 years of marriage he gets to a point where he's finishing his work early every single day, like before sundown, so he can cook for you or take you out to eat, and have enough time to cuddle up and read to you before going to sleep
Everyday Rolan thinks about how much he loves and cherishes you, how much you've sacrificed over the years, and how lucky he is to be your husband
based on how I paced the progression of the relationship in the pining/dating post, I strongly feel that Rolan really blossoms as a person and as a partner only once you've gotten married
Before you guys got married, obviously he was already in love with you, already cherished you, and was already comfortable around you, etc. etc.
but all of that gets so much more amplified once you're married
Fully Comfortable Rolan is such a treasure
after even 6 months of marriage, he's so much more confident in how he touches you and how he talks to you, or the things he does for you
Married Rolan is touchier, he jokes more, he laughs more, he infodumps more! he's unstoppable!
This complete security also means it's easier for him to be vulnerable with you, he's more likely to open up to you about things that trouble him, eventually coming to you about them before you even have a chance to ask him what was wrong
a lot of his "attitude" in the past came from insecurity, so Secure Married Rolan is no longer snarky with strangers (unless they suck), and he no longer feels like he has to prove himself to others
He's calmer, he's more patient, he's more likely to offer help to others
Married Rolan eventually takes on students, or maybe an apprentice or two, and he's so good with them
Married Rolan is Matured Rolan - in the healthiest way (good for him !!!)
02. Domesticity:
Rolan takes such good care of you
Due to how he grew up, he has a lot of domestic skills that would stick with him for life
Having to take care of Cal and Lia for so long, both being much younger than him, he'd know a few level 1 healing spells, he'd know how to cook, he'd know how to mend clothing and get tough stains out of fabric
that night when you return to him after defeating the Absolute, he'd heal you as many times as you'd allow him to, even though he wasn't as skilled as a cleric
there were a few times during the events of the game when you'd come to see him and he'd notice a tear in your clothes - always insisting on sewing it back up for you
and once you're moved in together, he'd mend your clothing without even telling you - you'd just realize the hole in your favorite shirt is all patched up one day
Rolan's a good cook, and he loves to do it for you
and if you cooked for him, he'd 100% do the dishes
but he still wouldn't let you do the dishes when he cooks for you
He's always cleaning up around the tower, often without even realizing it
It's second nature for him to be tidy and whatnot, but it's also because he respects the tower so much - he wants to keep it as pristine as he can
just going around and putting things back in their spots, even something as little as putting a quill back in a drawer
After he becomes the master of the tower, he spends a lot of his free time rearranging furniture and decorations or replacing them altogether to make the tower feel more comfortable for him and his siblings
I also think that seeing all of Lorr*akan's belongings leaves a bad taste in his mouth, so redecorating the tower played a part in helping him move on from the whole situation
And once you moved in with him, he desperately wanted to make sure you felt at home
He didn't see it as you living in his home - it was your home just as much as it was his
He'd encourage you to have your own office and decorate it to your liking, and he'd always ask your opinion on something before buying it for the tower
Rolan never leaves clothes on the floor, he always makes the bed, he cleans up immediately after he's done cooking (honestly he starts cleaning up while in the middle of it, too)
he always makes sure his clothes are free from wrinkles, often running his hands over the clothes he's wearing to make sure nothing's creasing, and he'll do the same to you
Rolan has always been quite responsible with money since things were always tight growing up
he probably has more money than he knows what to do with after being the master of the tower for only a year
He'd save a lot of it in case something were to happen, but he also donates a good portion of it to various causes in the city
he'd be particularly fond of the organizations that care for orphans and help young people receive schooling
#sorry if these suck again#when I start writing dad!rolan i'll stop sucking#baby boy#my writing#my hcs#rolan#bg3#x reader#headcanons#baldurs gate 3#fluff#brain rot#rolan posting
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dw abt crazy detailed posts, just have fun writing!! i like reading all of them, short or long :D besides goth gfs 🔛🔝
what abt kayn when his goth gf, who‘s usually confident abt her style, suddenly starts questioning herself bc of her parents? n she spiraling, barely participating in band stuff, and even wanting to avoid kayn bc of it all
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HEARTSTEEL KAYN/ SELF-CONSCIOUS GOTH READER
♡ Gender Neutral
♡ SFW
♡ No TW's
KAYN
At first, Kayn assumes you're just feeling a little off. Who doesn't, every now and then? He tries to help you cheer up the only way he knows how—bothering you. Kayn blows up your phone even more than normal, shows up at your house at all hours to take you out "because he's bored", and is practically glued to your skin whenever you're together. Maybe he's not the best at all that conversation stuff, but his antics will be enough to get you back to your old self...right?
When that doesn't work, Kayn's attitude takes a turn for the worse. He assumes that the reason you're withdrawing is because you're finally fed up with his shit and can't handle him anymore. It's a slap in the face, and he's more upset than he'd like to admit. After all, you were supposed to be different! He would never have let you in if he thought you'd just ditch him.
Kayn does a little spiraling of his own, which obviously makes the situation ten times worse. Surprisingly, he doesn't immediately lash out at you. He's too confused about his emotions to do much other than give you an uncharacteristic cold shoulder. But his bad attitude during rehearsals, general irritability, and the scowl that darkens his face whenever anyone drops your name clues his friends in that something definitely happened between you two.
Thank god for Ezreal, because he just gets it and takes it upon himself to talk some sense into Kayn. He approaches Kayn bringing his favorite energy drink, hoping to give his sulking friend a reality check without getting something thrown at his head. Ezreal listens as Kayn gripes that you must be sick of him or something, but it's whatever, he's totally fine—
"Kayn," Ezreal cuts him off, not bothering to hide his eyes rolling behind his candy-pink sunglasses. "Talk. to. them. You're crazy about each other and it honestly just sounds like they're going through something. You need to be there for them instead of doing this whole hot-and-cold asshole routine."
Kayn grudgingly considers Ezreal's words. Yeah, maybe you could be going through something. But why wouldn't you just talk to him, then? He's still not convinced, and he's still a bit pissy, and he's still dodging your phone calls.
But then you show up to his apartment wearing a beige t-shirt and Kayn knows something is up. The goth baddie he knows wouldn't be caught dead in neutral tones. He snags your hand in his, makes a pit stop at the fridge to grab a can of your favorite drink (he writes it on the grocery list every week to make sure Yone keeps it in stock for you), and drags you into his room.
"Okay, my lil' batty," he sighs, sitting you down on his bed. He squishes your hand reassuringly. "No more acting weird, it stresses me the fuck out. What's up with you?"
Kayn's fuming when he finds out that your parents are putting you down. In his own strange, aggressive way, he gives you a pep-talk about not giving a fuck what anyone thinks. You're awesome and hot, why should you let anyone make you doubt that? He bumps your shoulder with his arm and gives you his signature cocky smirk. "I'm supposed to be the problem, remember? Don't ever let any-fuckin'-body convince you that you're less than perfect."
From then on it's Kayn's life mission to piss the hell out of your parents. Whenever he picks you up from your house, he shows up ten minutes early so he can smoke in the driveway and blast his music so loud it makes the front door rattle in place. He "sneaks in" at night, but always leaves the toilet seat up and muddy boot-prints in the hall so your parents know he doesn't give a shit about your curfew. And, if they have the nerve to confront him about it? Oh, boy... let's just say he has no issues making his opinions known, and he tells them exactly how fucking stupid it is of them to put you down.
Knowing that you're struggling with your confidence right now, Kayn makes extra effort to lift you up. He demands a selfie every day, and blasts you with a hundred drooling emojis and thirsty comments when you flash a peace sign in the mirror and show off your outfit. If he notices makeup or clothes you might like, he doesn't even stop to look at the price tag—straight into his bag it goes. Most of all, he tries to get you to stay with him as much as possible. If your parents are going to pressure you, well then, fuck your parents. You can sleepover at his place whenever you want. If it's privacy you want? He doesn't mind splurging on a studio apartment for you, just so you can have your own space away from your parents' negativity. (Just be warned—if he does pay for your apartment, he's gonna be crashing the place all the time. Make sure you've got his favorite snacks and an extra set of sweatpants on hand, because your couch is basically his second home.)
#heartsteel#heartsteel headcanons#heartsteel x reader#heartsteel kayn#kayn x reader#kayn#kayn/reader#sheida kayn#heartsteel kayn x reader#heartsteel kayn/reader
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Unrequited - Chapter 4 - Tsu'tey x Omatikaya!Reader
chapter 2 | chapter 3
wc: 4k
contains: one-sided love, angst, birth giving scene
a/n: you see how i'm spoiling you and posting two chapters within the same week? i'd like some appreciation for that 👀 also, i have to state that in no way i am encouraging or implying slutshaming in this chapter. i don't think it is even a thing on pandora. the reason why some dialogues with mo'at can be seen as harsh is bc she is the tsahik and she believes it is wrong to connect physically without spiritual bond
unrequited masterlist | general masterlist
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
“I was beginning to think you finally changed your mind about me,” Tsu’tey said playfully, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he saw you.
Your cheeks were flushed from the rushed walk you took to catch him before he left. It was already an hour past the eclipse, and if it weren't for your recent busy evenings, he would have left long ago.
“Now stop trying to pin the things you would do on me,” you rolled your eyes at him, leaning against the entrance.
You were struggling to hide a smile from forming on your lips, relieved that he was still there. Tsu’tey sat on the ground with his back propped against the wall, a small knife in his hand, which he had been using to entertain himself with. The arrows he had sharpened during his waiting were arrayed next to him as a big sign of his boredom.
It wasn’t that Tsu’tey did not have a lot on his mind. The responsibilities of the Olo’eyktan have been taking up his whole days; from the moment the sun rose, he was consumed by the matters that demanded his attention. But when the nights stood still and your bodies were wrapped around each other, he could temporarily forget the weight of his obligations. The warmth of your skin and the softness of your touch have been keeping him distracted, distanced from the things he cared about in the daylight. And the attachment that he started to form to you was like a sudden gust of wind that swept him away, making him long for you more often that he’d like to admit. It scared him.
“You seem drained,” he commented.
“The lessons were harder this week,” you sighed.
“Ah, I see… I thought you were talented,” his tone was serious, but you could tell that he was only teasing you. Giving you a hard time for making him wait.
“I am,” you huffed, feeling defensive, “Tsahik thinks that I have a knack for herbals, so she wants me to focus more on the technique… That is where I lack the skill.”
Tsu’tey nodded, listening intently. Recently, the reason why lessons had been draining you was precisely why you and Tsu’tey began spending some time talking about your lives, before pursuing the desires of your bodies. It was strangely comforting to share some of you with Tsu’tey, who had previously known nothing about you. It made him feel cruel sometimes that he was only now getting to know you and discovering your personality, yet he dreaded the feeling of investing in a relationship that wasn’t supposed to last.
But the ending seemed near when rumors began circulating about you two. It all started out when one of the warriors saw Tsu’tey exiting the training hut early in the morning, and later found your anklet inside. At first, the incident was brushed off as a young trainee's fling, but when Fya’at unintentionally made a comment about your scent during a gathering, the gossip started to spread like a fire. Your attempts to pass it off like a joke were clearly a failure, considering the suspicious gazes following you everywhere, making you feel like a prey in the jungle.
But the final drop was dramatically worse, when during a communal dinner, a woman named Tse'a'ha suddenly burst into tears. All attention then was turned to her, as she threw a harsh look at Tsu’tey and stomped off. Tsu’tey gulped down and ordered everyone to return to their food, clearly admitting that he had some knowledge of what had happened. The next morning, you found out that Tse’a’ha had brought Tsu’tey gifts in an attempt to court him, but he had turned her down with the words that his heart was already taken. You knew right away that he was referring to Silwanin but the venomous tongues twisted Tsu’tey’s words into gossip, making him out to be a chief who was hiding his mate.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Tsu’tey stood with his arms crossed over his chest, intently surveying the training warriors in front of him. The clattering of weapons echoed through the air as the Olo'eyktan scrutinized their every movement with a critical eye.
“Tsu’tey, may I speak to you in private?” Takuk’s voice distracted him with a note of urgency.
“Sure,” Tsu’tey nodded, turning his gaze towards his warrior, “I’m headed back to the Home Tree, walk with me?”
Takuk hummed in agreement, falling behind the chief. They walked away from the training camp, and once they were out of earshot, Tsu’tey slowed his step, indicating that he was ready to listen. Despite his usual easy going nature, Takuk seemed to be nervous. He cleared his throat, earning a curious look from Tsu’tey.
“What is it?”
“I wanted to talk to you about Y/N,” Takuk started out slowly, as if testing the waters.
“What about her?” Tsu’tey tensed up involuntarily, already sensing the direction in which the conversation was headed.
“Well… I was wondering if the rumors about you courting her are true? I do not wish to cross the Olo’eyktan.”
Takuk’s words seemed to hang in the air, the tension between them palpable. Tsu’tey couldn’t help but feel irritated that the man wasn’t scared of him, approaching him head-on. But there was really no reason to be mad at him, Takuk had the right to check.
“I am not courting her,” Tsu’tey finally answered after a long pause.
“So, if you are not courting her, then, can I?” Takuk's lips curled into a small smile, “Of course, only if there is nothing between you -”
“Y/N is a free woman,” Tsu’tey cut him off, “If you wish to court her, that is up to her.”
“Right,” Takuk nodded in gratitude, “I had a feeling it was only gossip. Thank you.”
Takuk bowed deeply before excusing himself, leaving Tsu’tey lost in his own thoughts. He realized that he had no right to claim you as his own, as he was the one to set the rules from the start. If you showed interest in someone else, he would have to step away with respect and let you live your life free of any complications.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Your eyes burned with tears as you watched Saronyu struggle through her labor, surrounded by a few of you. Her mate held her tightly against his chest as she fought for breath under the stern instructions of Tsahik. You and Neytiri sat on the opposite sides, holding Saronyu's hands as she pushed through the pain. Her swollen belly heaved, with each breath, exhaustion and agony etched on her face. Your own muscles ached in sympathy, imagining the incredible pain she was experiencing.
“You’re doing great, Saronyu,” you wiped her forehead with a damp cloth, “Just a little bit more.”
She nodded her head, her eyes locked onto Tsahik, seated between her legs. Under Mo’at’s commanding voice, she took a deep breath to prepare herself before pushing. You felt her grip tighten around you with a grunt, and then you heard it, when the infant took its first breath with a loud cry.
Mo'at worked quickly, checking the baby's vitals and cleaning it before placing it into Saronyu's outstretched arms. The room filled with compliments and words of congratulations as the new parents gazed down at their child with giddy smiles. You couldn’t help but smile yourself, the miracle of life never ceasing to amaze you. This was the first birth after the battle with the sky people, and it seemed to symbolize something greater for the clan. Saronyu’s firstborn was a reminder for hope and resilience. Life on Pandora would continue no matter the hardships.
Neytiri was the first to leave the hut, while you stayed behind to help Mo’at with cleaning up. She left the flap open, revealing a small window into what was happening inside. A group of Na’vi lingered outside the hut and cheered in excitement and pride, when Neytiri revealed the newborn’s name. Basking in the joyous atmosphere, Jake pulled his mate into a tight embrace. She smiled at him, as he complimented her assistance.
Tsu’tey stood a little behind them, his eyes locking on your frame inside the hut. He felt a sense of warmth spread through his chest at the way you cradled the baby so gently. You were cooing at it with a small smile, occasionally lifting your gaze to Saronyu and her mate who were beaming at their newfound bundle of joy. As the Olo'eyktan, Tsu’tey felt obligated to be present in a monumental moment like this. He had seen birthgivings before but this one, due to its timing, felt special. A small smile played at the corner of his lips, which did not escape Neytiri’s curious eye. She tugged at his arm playfully.
“Y/N is good with babies, no?” she asked, capturing his attention.
Tsu’tey only hummed in agreement, knowing that she was probably getting at something, but he was too distracted to think about it . Jake’s eyes flickered between his mate and Tsu’tey with a clear skepticism. He was convinced that Mo’at’s theory was baseless: the only time he ever saw you and Tsu’tey interact was when he yelled at you in the healing hut. But Neytiri had grown up with both of you, she could sense that the dynamic had shifted. She just couldn’t figure out the reason for it.
“She can make an excellent Tsahik one day,” Neytiri pressed, “My mother wouldn’t choose just anyone to give lessons to.”
Tsu’tey knew it had been true. Mo’at had a strong judge of character, knowing immediately if she liked someone or not: it was rare to convince her otherwise. Tsahik picking someone for individual lessons was the highest praise any healer, besides the tsakarem, could get. You were talented, and Mo’at recognized that.
But Tsu’tey also felt attacked by her choice. It was clear to him that Mo’at had been growing impatient with him and was threatening to choose a tsakarem on her own. Her strong personality didn’t go well with Tsu’tey’s, so she was pushing him into either accepting her choice of future Tsahik, or finding himself a new mate. Despite this knowledge, Tsu’tey decided against revealing it to you when you first told him about taking lessons. You seemed so happy to be given such an opportunity, and he did not wish to minimize your efforts to the mere wish of Mo’at trying to set you up with the chief.
“Neytiri,” Jake pulled her back into him gently, “Leave him alone.”
“No,” she shook her head, like a child, “I am right about this, you will see.”
Jake sighed with a small smirk, watching Neytiri take Tsu’tey by his wrist and lead him away. Tsu’tey was confused but he trailed after her regardless. When she reached a more private setting, she crouched down and encouraged Tsu’tey to do the same.
“I know that lately my mother has been pushing you to find a mate,” she gave him a knowing look.
“She is too stubborn,” Tsu’tey let out a defeated chuckle. It was beginning to feel like a big joke that was being played on him, “She won’t hear my refusal.”
“What is the reason for your refusal?” Neytiri asked softly.
Tsu’tey took a long pause, carefully considering his answer. If there was anyone he could confide in, it would be Neytiri. After all, she understood the toll that Silwanin’s death had taken on him.
“I can’t force myself again,” he answered with a shake of his head, “Eywa knows… I’ve tried very hard. You know it too - we did our best.”
Tsu’tey gestured between the two of them, earning her understanding nod. Neytiri recalled the time when they were first forced into a bond. Back then, she had tried her hardest to feel something more for Tsu’tey. But she could only see him as a brother, and so did he. His heart never stopped belonging to Silwanin, so all they could do was put on a facade to respect the clan. Much to Neytiri’s liking, that quickly crumbled when Jake appeared in her life.
“Tsu’tey, you will always love Silwanin. No one can take that away from you,” she reached out to point to his chest, “She will always be in your heart. Just like she is in mine,” Neytiri then pointed to her own chest, “But life must go on. Dwelling on the past will not leave space for hope.”
“Hope for what? All I got from hoping was loss and disappointment,” Tsu’tey threw harshly.
“If I have learned anything from loss is that there is always a new beginning,” Neytiri’s gaze softened, as she thought back to Jake.
“Not all of us are destined for new beginnings.”
“I understand your pain, Tsu'tey, but you cannot keep your heart closed off forever,” Neytiri placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “I am sure that Eywa has something planned for you, but you refuse to accept it…Silwanin would have wanted you to be happy.”
Tsu’tey covered her hand with his, letting the words sink in. Deep down, he knew there was some truth to what she was saying, but he couldn't bring himself to admit it. It was too risky to get his hopes high up again.
“Tell me what is bothering you,” she asked gently, receiving nothing but silence in return, “A secret for a secret?”
Tsu’tey couldn’t help but smirk at the phrase; it reminded him of the way they used to negotiate as kids. A secret for a secret. What could Neytiri possibly tell him to make him reveal his attachment to you? He felt like she was bluffing, but Neytiri proceeded without getting his approval.
“I am pregnant,” her voice rang softly in his ears.
His eyes widened, as he gazed down at her stomach. There was no visible bump yet, it was far too soon for her to be showing, but the way she cradled her middle was enough to make his heart race.
“Is it true?” he asked.
“You are one of the first to know,” Neytiri nodded with a smile, “It is still early, but the baby grows stronger with each passing day. My mother wanted me to be present during Saronyu’s labor to be prepared for my own.”
“Does Jake Sully know?” Tsu’tey asked tentatively.
“I will tell him tonight.”
Tsu’tey felt a surge of joy overwhelm him as he pulled her into his arms for a warm embrace. Despite their occasional disagreements, Neytiri was like a sister to him, the only family he had left. The fact that she confided in him about her pregnancy before Jake made Tsu’tey feel incredibly touched.
“May Eywa bless your child,” Tsu’tey murmured, his hand rubbing her back.
When they pulled apart, there was a twinkle in her eyes. Tsu’tey couldn't help but smile at how happy she seemed. He watched her lose so much in her life, this was the new beginning she deserved. He wondered if he deserved a chance at happiness too.
“Now it is your turn,” Neytiri said. Tsu’tey took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the conversation ahead.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
“Wrong,” Mo’at announced with a harsh tone, watching intently as you worked on making a paste.
You winced, applying more force to the pestle but it didn’t make much difference. Her eyes pierced through you with judgment, yet you couldn’t figure out what exactly you were doing wrong.
“The force must come from the shoulders, not the whole body,” she spoke up, her voice stern, as if she had just read your mind.
You felt a pang of embarrassment, as you tried again, this time using your shoulders only to apply the necessary pressure. Mo'at remained silent, seeming more satisfied with your correction. She rarely admitted to you doing something right, but when you slipped up, she would make you stay late and work, until you mastered the technique. It seemed like this lesson was going to stretch out into a longer one too.
“I apologize for my interruption,” a voice broke the quiet concentration of the lesson, catching both you and Mo’at by surprise.
Takuk stood awkwardly in the entrance, before bowing deeply in greeting. His eyes flickered playfully between you and Tsahik, until his gaze settled on Mo’at. She waited patiently for him to continue.
“I did not wish to disturb the lesson,” he said, “I just wanted to know when I can expect it to end?”
“Why do you need to know that?” Mo’at raised an eyebrow, her eyes sharp and questioning.
“I would like to invite Y/N for a stroll after she is done,” he admitted, throwing a quick glance at you.
You felt a blush creeping up your neck, caught off guard by his boldness. Mo’at looked back at you with slight confusion, urging you to answer.
“I am afraid I already have plans to tend to after my lesson, Takuk,” you answered apologetically.
“It is alright, we can go tomorrow. I just have something important to talk to you about.”
“Oh,” was all you could say, “Sure?”
“I will see you tomorrow then. I’m sorry again for the interruption,” Takuk said, bowing before taking his leave.
You could sense Mo’at’s disapproval radiating off of her, and you felt ashamed to have negotiated plans in front of her during the middle of the lesson. She clicked her tongue in irritation, gesturing at the pestle and mortar. You quickly resumed pounding the herbs, feeling her eyes on you.
“That boy wants to court you?”
“Oh, I am not sure,” you mumbled, “Maybe.”
“He must either be brave or stupid for going after a promised woman.”
You looked up at her in surprise, pausing in your movements before coming to a stop.
“I am not a promised woman,” you objected.
“Of course you are,” her voice was stern, “You have mated with the Olo'eyktan.”
“What? I am not -” you shook your head in bewilderment.
“Do you think I am stupid?” she tsked, gesturing at you, “I can smell him on you every time you come here. No amount of washing can cover that. Maybe once, but not this often.”
Your heart nearly leapt out of your chest at how accurately she had pinpointed it. Was there even any point in denying it? Mo’at could see right through you.
“You must warn that boy to stay away. He must not disrespect his Olo'eyktan, you and Tsu’tey are now mates,” she ordered.
“We are not mates, Tsahik,” embarrassed, you lowered your gaze.
“Of course, you are, You have performed a tsaheylu and mated before Eywa. You are bonded for life now,” she explained angrily, as if you were dense. Your shoulders slumped involuntarily.
“There was no blessing from Eywa. No tsaheylu,” you admitted quietly.
Mo’at stared at you in shock, her eyes widening in disbelief. With a deep sigh, she stood up and stormed out of the hut, leaving you alone in your thoughts. Deep in shame, you remained seated on the ground, your eyes still glued to the same spot. Tsahik must think very little of you now and will most likely forbid you from ever visiting her again. You were suddenly jolted back to reality by the sound of heavy footsteps approaching the hut. You quickly scrambled to your feet, when you saw Mo’at enter with Tsu’tey.
She gestured for him to stand next to you, and he complied, a knowing expression already plastered on his face as he threw you a quick glance. Mo'at looked angrier than you had ever seen her before, her eyes boring into yours with an intensity that made you shrink back in fear.
“What is this that I am hearing?” she demanded loudly, "You have committed a great disrespect to Eywa."
You lowered your ears, feeling the blood rush to your face in embarrassment. Involuntarily, Tsu’tey lowered his ears too. Despite his newfound confidence as the chief, he still felt ashamed in front of Mo’at. He had always considered her to be like a second mother to him. Mo’at spoke again, her voice dripping with disapproval.
“You insulted and ignored the laws of Eywa. You continued to fool around with no bond, no tsaheylu,” she pressed her hand to her forehead, sensing a headache approaching, “How long has this been going on?”
“Since the last moon,” Tsu’tey answered. Tsahik’s face twisted with a mixture of disappointment and disgust. She had never expected Tsu'tey, a man so proper and dedicated to his duty, to behave like a selfish, reckless child.
“Stupid,” she spat, gesturing between the two of you, “If you want to remain respected clan members, you must fix this… Either you begin to court this girl properly and make a bond with the blessing of Eywa, or you leave her alone to find herself a mate.”
“But Tsahik -” you opened your mouth to protest, but Mo'at hissed at you, cutting you off.
“I do not wish to hear anything else. Do not show your faces to me unless you fix this.”
She dismissed you with a wave of your hand, as you and Tsu’tey rushed to step out of the hut. The darkness outside enveloped you, and you wondered where Mo’at had found Tsu’tey. You cursed him mentally for not being farther away.
“I’m sorry for telling her, she just…” you trailed off guiltily.
“I know, it’s not your fault,” Tsu’tey nodded in understanding.
He strode ahead, and you followed behind him in silence, waiting for him to speak. Things were going to change now, and you hoped that the bond that was forming between you and Tsu’tey would help, but his next words quickly shattered it.
“Tsahik is right. We can’t be together,” Tsu'tey said, his voice heavy with resignation, “I am being selfish.”
“What are you saying?” you scrunched up your face.
“From now on, we must stop seeing each other. I promise to respect your space, and there will be no reason to dwell on what has happened between us anymore. I want you to have the freedom to find a mate.”
“No! I don’t want a mate,” you protested, “I don’t want anyone, I only want you. You know that.”
“It is wrong,” Tsu’tey stepped away from you, “I am grateful for the time we spent together, but Tsahik is right. I have to dedicate myself to my duty and give you a chance to choose a proper mate.”
“This is nonsense,” you huffed, “I thought we had an agreement.”
“Yes,” Tsu’tey agreed, “Which I am following through with right now. I think Takuk and you can make an excellent match.”
“Takuk?” you asked, the hurt evident in your voice.
“He asked for my permission to court you this morning. You should give him a chance.”
You felt your heart shatter into pieces. He had been the one to push you towards someone else, making it clear that he didn't love you. You had clung to the hope that his feelings might change, but now it seemed like he had given up on you completely. Your throat tightened as tears threatened to spill from your eyes.
"You had no right to do that, to give permission on my behalf," you jabbed a finger into his chest, your voice filled with anger, "You are merciless."
“I am sorry, Y/N,” Tsu’tey let out a long sigh, catching your hand in his, “I will not forgive myself if I ruin your chance at happiness.”
His eyes bore into yours, expression softenting. For a fleeting moment it felt like he hated himself for letting you down. He squeezed your hand, bringing it to his chest.
“You have no idea how much I love you, do you?” you asked bitterly, pulling your hand out of his grasp, “I was stupid for thinking you could ever, ever feel the same way. And you warned me from the beginning.”
"It is not true, I -” Tsu’tey interrupted himself, shaking his head, “I care for you deeply but I cannot give you what you want.”
He caught your hand again but you yanked it away from his grip. The pain in your chest was suffocating you.
"Don't touch me," you hissed.
The tears that threatened to fall earlier were now streaming down your face, as you walked away, leaving Tsu’tey standing there alone. By the time you reached home, you couldn’t stop the sobs that wracked your body. You weren't sure if you could ever put your shattered heart back together because Tsu'tey now possessed every single piece of it.
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next chapter
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WIBTA if i asked my friend to stop being disparaging about romance/sexuality? (sorry in advance for long post, this situation a little complicated)
we are all adults, early/mid 20s. My friend is aroace, but i'm not, although i did spend a few years in the community before i realized my behavior/thoughts are not due to my sexual/romantic preferences, but are actually due to repression/guilt/shame/trauma. This is just personal experience obviously, i'm not trying to gatekeep or tell anyone how to identify
this friend often makes disparaging remarks about sexuality and romance that come off as shaming. i know they aren't talking about me specifically, but it still feels bad to hear them talk about how they wish "the allos would stop being so horny all the time" or how "it's gross how allos are all like this", all while knowing that i count myself as allosexual and alloromantic, and i'm definitely not 'horny all the time' or 'always talking about sex' or 'having sex all the time'. I've literally never fucked anyone in my life (🕺🏻celibacy🕺🏻--joking aside, i personally don't want casual sex, and i haven't dated since i was a teen). The most sexual i get is occasionally hornyposting on my 18+/priv accs, which they don't follow.
Obviously, i'm not trying to invalidate their feelings and i'm definitely not telling them they should enjoy something they obviously don't. i would just prefer if they stopped saying stuff to me about how gross allo people are. It comes off as "we enlightened beings vs those degenerate rutters".
Before anyone says this is bait, no, it's not. i'm genuinely asking for advice bc i value this friendship and i don't think they have bad intentions, just a lot of frustrations. i know it's frustrating that society places so much value in romantic/sexual relationships, and i know it's hard to be practically drowning in something that personally makes them feel gross. i also wouldn't care if they complain about this to other people, or feel this way inside, but it does hurt my feelings when they bring it up to me in this way.
I haven't actually said anything to them yet, so WIBTA if i (kindly) asked them to not talk to me about how 'gross' allos are, or if they do want to discuss their frustrations, to avoid using such derogatory/generalizing statements in the future?
What are these acronyms?
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DAY 18 | IN THIS WORLD
PAIRING: lee felix x reader
GENRE: fluff
WC: 0.96k
CW: nothing
PROMPT: cuddling session
sleepy fluff with lixie coming your way! this is the last one for today bc i do need to actually sleep lol (tho its after midnight rn so first post of today technically?). this is just very soft and fluff, no real plot happening here. enjoy reading <3
title from as it was - harry styles
general masterlist here
<< previous | mctc masterlist | next >>
When you came home from work, the only thing on your mind was going to bed. Your shift ran later than expected due to some problems that needed to be fixed, and by the time you were finally allowed to head home, you were completely exhausted. You went through routine tasks such as putting away your keys and hanging your coat almost blindly, not wanting to be bothered to turn on the lights. However, it wasn't really dark in the apartment, as you soon realized. And there was sound coming from the living room.
Carefully, you walked to the source of the light and noise, all your tiredness replaced by caution, because what if that was an intruder? Your anxiety was soon alleviated by the fact that the sound was from your TV. What burglar would watch a movie, right? As you peaked inside the living room, you saw someone you would never expect here at this hour.
Lee Felix was sprawled over your couch, a half-empty bowl of popcorn laying next to him, and on the TV was playing a rerun of some comedy show. You shook your head, suppressing a laugh. When you gave him the key, it was so he could come meet you when he had time, because dating an idol was a time management nightmare. But now it seemed Felix used it to run away from the dorm and help himself to whichever snacks and entertainment your apartment provided.
He must have heard you, because he raised his head and waved at you to greet you. It was pointless to hide halfway in the hallway, so you headed to him. Felix immediately scooted over, making room for you on the couch.
As soon as you sat down, his arms enveloped you in a hug, with Felix pressing his nose into your hair and inhaling the familiar scent. You felt the faint touches of his lips soon, as well as the exhaustion creeping its way back into your body. You let yourself melt further into his arms, your body going completely limp against his. He answered with a content hum and a stronger hold on you. Felix adjusted his position slightly, so you would be more comfortable laying down.
“What are you doing here anyway? Don't you have an early schedule tomorrow?” you asked sleepily. Almost immediately after relaxing in the hug, you wanted to sleep. Felix was just a very comfortable and warm pillow that made you feel secure and loved. And paired with how tired you felt, it was the perfect recipe for a quick journey to dreamland. But you didn't want to sleep yet, not with Felix here.
Lately, you haven't seen him much, given how busy his schedule was towards the end of the year. A few times you woke up to Felix lying in bed with you, only to have a rushed breakfast because you both needed to work. But now that he was here, none of you were unconscious, and you were determined to make the most of it.
“I do, but I missed you,” Felix said. His head found its place on your shoulder, and he was now lazily mouthing at a spot on your neck. There wasn't anything sexual behind it; he just liked feeling close to you. It was a way for Felix to show you how much he loved you. “I wanted to come see you. It's been so long since we had time for each other,” he confessed with a sad undertone in his voice. You didn’t say anything, but he knew you felt the same. You missed him too, but it didn't need to be said out loud. Felix knew.
You snuggled further into his chest. "Well, now you're here, and I'm not letting you go anywhere,” you decided. Your gaze fell on the TV. Much to your dismay, you had to untangle yourself from him in order to get the remote. Your action was met with a soft whine from Felix, soon replaced by a happy sigh as you settled yourself back into his arms, now in possession of the remote. You lazily switched through the channels until you found a half-decent movie to watch. It was the most passable compensation for the fact that you both should be in bed and sleeping. Staying on the couch and slowly dozing off when the movie became boring was just another way of resting together, you thought.
When you woke up in the morning, it was to Felix's alarm that was blasting through the apartment at a volume that, in your opinion, not even an emergency siren would. Startled and confused, you opened your eyes to find yourself in the living room, with a certain idol wrapped around like a koala. How you managed not to fall off the couch while you slept was beyond your understanding. Some higher being probably decided to take mercy on you.
“Lix, baby, wake up.” You gently nudged him, but all you got was a groan in response and Felix pressing himself even closer to you. With a laugh, you tried again, and eventually you managed to get him awake enough to function like a normal human being.
While you were in the kitchen preparing breakfast a few minutes later, Felix came to join you, already changed into new clothes and ready for the day. He hugged you from behind, just like last night, still not quite ready to give up the peaceful atmosphere. With a smile on your face, you let Felix hang off of you as you prepared the food. These stolen moments were all you had for now, but a break in his schedule was coming, which meant moments like these were only going to get more frequent.
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©starlostastronaut 2023 | do not repost/translate my work without permission
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Do you have any SFW and NSFW headcanons for dating Tommy?
tommy miller x reader
warnings: pregnancy, nsfw under the cut, pre/post-outbreak mixed.
a/n: ah so real, my underrated baby
°°°
(sfw)
- first off, let me just tell y'all that tommy is 100% the the of man to try and woo you by overdoing 'manly things'.
- like carrying 4 boxes at the same time (he tripped and fell but got back up like a champ🫶), purposely answering his door shirtless and leaning on the doorframe to flex his bod.
- but of course what really made you fall for him was the way he has your coffee order engraved in his memory, how he worries over you and gives you a call when he notices you leaving an event or part early.
- he's just a giant softie at heart.
- he also took it to himself to teach you how to use a gun after seeing how shit ur aim is after the outbreak.
- "It's like a watergun right? you just point and shoot." of course, waterguns aren't as heavy as guns and rifles, which you soon learned.
- he absolutely adores it when he's sitting down, reading a book or using his computer and you'll be sitting on his lap, head buried on the crook of his neck, and he can feel your warm steady breath.
- He never tells you this but when he's holding you close while being tense and anxious, he likes to count the breaths you inhale and exhale to help calm himself down.
- is the WORST COOK !!! the best meal you've ever had by him was an air-fried chicken nuggets.
- Is however very generous in buying you snacks.
- they type of guy to buy you 20 boxes of Oreos after you tell him it's taste nice once.
- very overprotective after the outbreak, even after safely moving into Jackson.
- he tries not to be overbearing about it though, like he'll just talk to you through the walkie talkies while you're on patrol, keeps your shifts hours in a notepad to remember when you finish work, asking to be paired up with you for patrol, etc.
- when you both found out that you were pregnant however...
- no patrols at all, he's carrying you wherever you need to go, and god forbids he had to be away from you for more than 15 minutes.
- will talk to your belly, but instead of being all sweet and lovey about it, he'll just start cracking the worst dad jokes in existence and starts laughing at his own jokes, shoving his face onto your belly while cackling his ass off.
-----
(nsfw)
- the things I want to do to this man
- he loves it when you're pulling his hair, it's a big indicator that he's doing a good job tbh.
- like you could be pulling his roots out of his head and he'll just start pulling your legs wider apart, thrusting his cock harder.
- as much as he loves it when you're scratching and grabbing him, his favourite position is when you're face down and ass up with your hands tied at your back.
- it turns him on so much to see you a begging mess in front of him completely a his mercy while he's fucking you from behind.
- secretly wants to try anal but would never bring it up and says no even when you're the one bringing it up, mostly because he doesn't want to hurt you.
- lactation kink after having a baby bcs idk man, u see the guy? he's definitely a tittysucker. (I'd go into details in a fic or sumn if u want but I'm in a depressive episode rn LMA//OAOAO 😭)
#tommy miller x reader#tommy miller#joel miller x reader#tlou x reader#the last of us x reader#the last of us hbo#the last of us#ellie williams#tommy miller smut#tommy miller fanfiction#gabriel luna
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Edit: I have since posted the fic, check it out here!!
hi hello, so this isn't my official "comeback" yet as I'm currently sick in bed 😭 so this is just a little teaser and explanation of what I'm planning hehe
So I've had this idea for a long time, so long that it was the first fic I ever wanted to write down on this blog and the idea that motivated me to start writing in general, but things happened so yeah I'm only now finding the time to finally write for it
so basically, it's friends with benefits geto x f!reader, simple enough, right? Well, not quite (if you're not interested in too much detail, feel free to skip my rambling and scroll down for some excerpts and quotes 😘 they'll be below the cut)
It all happened one evening when your best friend came to pick you up from a party for the first time, being tipsy and sexually frustrated one thing led to another and you slept together and from then on it kind of became your guys' thing
Whenever you were out and didn't end up with someone, you called him and he actually came to pick you up
You've known each other for a few years but you just couldn't get yourself to call him Suguru, it's always Geto this Geto that, even tho he would really like you to just call him by his first name, but you're like no no no nonono I can't
And if that wasn't bad enough, your tipsy self always added -san, so it's Geto-san whenever he picks you up haha
You've done a lot already, anything dirty you could think of, been there done that, but no kissing bcs that's too intimate duh, like having a dick shoved so far up it's rearragning your guts isn't yeah yeah sweet denial
So this time there wasn't anything unusual about it, he picked you up like always and you were down to fuck so what's the worst that could happen?
he miiiighhtt make you call him by his first name and maybe just maybe you do finally kiss???!
I'm also down for maybe a prequel to the first time it happened?? 👀👀
But in any case, enjoy an excerpt from the beginning as well as some of my ideas and quotes I plan to include :D
He never understood why you liked going out to the most shabby and stuffed clubs. It reeked of alcohol and smoke mixed with all kinds of bodily fluids. As he was making his way through the dancing crowd of sweaty people grinding against each other, he finally found you sitting at the bar while some guy was leaning in your direction way too close for comfort.
He had his usual fit, hair half up with a black over sized sweater and loose black joggers. Making him look so huge that if there were any guys bothering you, they would leave you alone as soon as they saw him.
"Yo~ y/n", he touched your exposed shoulder and gave you his signature eye smile, before staring down the guy next to you that was trying to get in your pants or in this context in ypur skimpy little dress. The guys' annoyed look turned into a worried one after seeing who he was up against.
"Aahhh Geto-saannn you're here early" you mused, leaning against his hard chest. That damn honorific, he cursed but still managed to squeeze out a smile.
"Haha "-san", so you aren't her boyfriend then." the stranger snarled but soon gave up as Suguru raised an eyebrow at him and snapped a "watch it". "Alright, alright, I give up", he put his hands up in defeat. "Maybe next time, sweetcheeks."
As soon as the guy left Suguru took both of your hands in his and knelt down in front of you. "Y/n we've talked about this, if you don't want to call me Suguru at least drop the honorific. We've known each other for years now don't you think it's about time. Also, don't you think it's weird when you call the guy you fuck by his last name, hm?" He turned his head looking at you expectedly.
"But Geto-saaaan-"
"Ah ah, what did I just tell you"
"Okay okay, Geto" you huffed, "You know I'm not comfortable with that", you whined, squeezing his hands.
"I just want to hear you say it at least once. Say it and I'll fuck you real good tonight.", he smirked.
You considered it, after a hard week you really needed a good fuck. "Sugu-", is all you could manage before snapping your head away, "Nope can't do it."
He let his head drop with a loud sigh. "It's alright. It looks like I was just pushing my luck. C'mon, let's get you out of here." And with that, he rose back to his full height, grabbed your hand and pulled you from the bar stool. While making your way through the crowd and to his car, your thoughts kept wandering.
Suguru... that's such a pretty name.
----------
"What's up with you today? If you keep squeezing me that hard you might actually snap my dick off.", he chuckled. He's way to cocky. You have to do something about that.
"Have I ever told you how annoying you can be. If you don't stop talking, I think I might have to shut that mouth of yours up myself.", you whispered putting your hands on his cheeks and pulling his face close so that it was right in front of yours.
--------
"Is it okay? Does it hurt?"
"No, it feels really good. I can feel you all the way up here", you smiled, leaning back and tracing your fingers from your pubic bone to just over your belly button.
"Fuck, you can't just say those things out of the blue" he mumbled sitting up, finally starting to pound into you from below.
"Wow that did it, huh?" you chuckled arching your back and clawing at his shoulders. "How naive, men are so simple." you kept that thought to yourself tho.
----
"Wait", you mumbled against his lips. "Don't pull out. Keep fucking me. Hurry up." How could he say no to you, even if he felt like he was about to die from overstimulation, he couldn't possibly deny you.
-----
"Fuck, I'm hard again"
"Then keep going."
-----
Look forward to the whole thing as soon as I feel better🙈🙈🙈 and feel free to let me know what you think!❤️
#jjk smut#jjk headcanons#jjk x reader#jjk drabbles#takes with nini♡#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen scenarios#jujutsu kaisen drabbles#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk scenarios#geto x reader#geto smut#suguru x reader#suguru smut#geto suguru smut#geto suguru x reader#suguru geto smut#suguru geto x reader#jjk geto smut#jjk geto x reader
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Hey, transfem who has only started to like her body about half a year ago here
As someone who takes a lot of pictures of themselves, do you have any resources/tips for angles or something that accentuates feminine features?
Also in regards to having a somewhat normal facial expression, like my eyes look so weird in every picture I take bc I don't know where to look
This response ended up WAY longer than I expected, and I think Imma add it to my pinned post- thanks for pushing me to talk about this! I don't think I'm really an expert here, but if people want to leave more advice in reblogs and comments, please do.
So when I say "I had two years of femboy experience before transferring to the related (and potentially overlapping) but separate field of trans womanhood" I'm only like... half joking. Selfie angles took a fucking wild amount of time for me to figure out, and guess what? The pictures I post are usually 1-3 in a set of about 20 that I take at any given time. I'm still unhappy with most pictures I take, you just gotta take a lot of them, and figure out for yourself.
That said, I think I have gotten a lot better over time. Behold, the first selfie I posted on reddit (warning for kinda cringe but I know y'all fuck with that):
(Damn, my thighs look good when I properly shave, gotta do that sometime)
(btw I'm 23 in this pic so feel free to simp if you so desire)
And another early one:
This was still selected from a bunch that were horrible, but you can really tell that my face is basically just covered in fabric entirely. My eyes look very dead in both. Compare that to:
^this one is still pre-transition, so don't blame the estrogen.
So what are my specific tips?
Well, the classic "selfie angle" is from above. This angle certainly helps, but why? Personally I've found that its far less about angles are far more about lighting. Since most lighting is overhead, taking selfies from above means that you'll have a well lit face in those standard lighting conditions. Notice that in both the early selfies and the later one, the camera is actually positioned below my height level, and there's still a noticeable facial difference between them. The reason this is possible is good, forward lighting. Generally, you want a soft light source to be vaguely behind the camera, shining onto your face- but make sure its not too close, or too bright. This will ensure that harsh shadows don't artificially make your features look much different than they actually are.
Another thing that cannot be understated: DISTANCE between yourself and the camera, especially if you're using a phone camera. There are several reasons for this- notably, it'll help make the background be framed more pleasantly, as well as prevent the camera/phone itself from shadowing your face. But there's also a massive, insidious reason this happens- all phone cameras have some degree of fisheye to their lens to increase the field of view while still using compact optics. Multiple lens have helped a bit, but its still a problem on all of them. Higher end phones will algorithmically correct for this, but they also add a TON of other postprocessing "beautification" in ways that are sometimes completely invisible (insert entire rant here about how this is a deceptive marketing tactic to make a brands phone cameras seem better than they actually are). Sometimes, these edits are way off base. But I digress. The fisheye is killer because it takes any slightly more prominent feature and bulges them out, including the nose and chin. Conversely, recessed features, like eyes and the sides of your cheeks, are going to be less emphasized. Moving further away from the camera significantly reduces this. If you can get a small phone tripod and take selfies that way, it'll alleviate this. Unfortunately my living space is not large atm, and I have less motivation to bother my roommates in the common areas and use their hallways for picture taking, so this has been a little lacking in more recent selfies. It's also just a lot of work for a couple quick selfies, so its hard to do right- but it genuinely makes a world of difference.
Otherwise, my advice about eyes would be that your eyes show your overall facial expression, even if you're covering your mouth. Most of my pictures are taken while smiling slightly under the mask, and it shows in the eyes. If I want a scarier looking picture, I'm stone faced or deliberately make my entire face angrier, and you end up with the "glaring directly down the camera wanting to kill you" face. Referring to the pictures I just posted- the first two are both dead faced under the mask, whereas in the last one, I'm doing a smug, sultry smirk. The eyes then reflect that.
Don't focus on specifically trying to open your eyes wider. Change your facial expression and just let them be how they want to be in relation to that.
Eye position should fully commit to looking straight into the camera, or be fully distracted with something else, imo (including the screen of your phone, if you're doing something like a mirror selfie). If you're taking a mirror selfie, look at the camera lens as it's reflected in the mirror.
A HUGE takeaway is that cameras, especially phone cameras, straight up lie to you. They don't work the same way as the human eye, and have to compensate for that- but they'll never be a completely faithful representation of what you look like. Don't let your ego be affected by how you look in pictures, when all is said and done.
And of course, experiment, experiment, experiment! Figure out the lighting you can get in the space you have available, and the angles that work for you! Don't be afraid to delete selfies you don't like! Show off your style and your features in the way you want to! There are no rules for what's attractive, this is just what I do and you should develop your own style!
I guess I'll take this with both femboy and trans tags bc the selfies are pre-HRT
#trans#trans advice#transgender#selfie#selfie advice#femboy#femboy advice#femboy fashion#crossdressing tutorial
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