#pocketful of weeb
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osamu: do me a favor. be sweet to my brother, he kinda has a crush on you.
sakusa: really? i uh... had no idea.
osamu: of course you don't 🙄
sakusa, after osamu left: pFFT--
atsumu, under sakusa's bed: SHUT UP
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Pixiv ID 77880750
#weeb guro#gur0#g0r3c0r3#guro#g0r3#g0rewh0re#g0recore#g0re#ive had this one in my pocket for weeks and forgot to post 4ever
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I wish every black butler video essayist a fucking amazing day. I hope you find $100 on the ground right now I looooooove video essays
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... Is it too early to bully him?
This nerd has 0 kitchen knowledge, like sir, watching a cooking base anime DOES NOT COUNT as learning how to cook.
Heating up a hot pocket does not count as cooking either.
At least Lilia knows what exactly cooking is and what he "should" do, and yes I used Lilia as an example
Overall, have fun cooking Idia! DO NOT BURN THE KITCHEN DOWN WITH ACE
#twisted wonderland#twst wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst spoilers#idia shroud#Clearly look at this... boy...#There's 0 cooking knowledge in him#Ortho likely dropped him there cause he was tired seeing him eat another hot pocket off the floor for the 10th time that month#Me seeing twst jp stuff and already imma bully this weeb before ever getting the event here in the eng servers
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Don’t forget 3 Oct. 11
#wore this all day and not one person called me on it#the gloves coat and pocket watch were all commented on individually#but were all apparently considered to be within the reasonable bounds of 'stuff i wear for no particular reason'#so i got through the day without being called a weeb#despite exhibiting textbook weeb behavior#fma
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why is it ALWAYS my h*ro acad*mia
#non sims#every fucking time!!!!#if it's weebs it's m h a ALWAYS#i am shoving my polaroids of d*bi and h*wks and sh*garaki in my pockets and pretending idk what that is#(also several other characters but that's not the point)#my full size poster of m*rko is too big for my pocket so just ignore it#AHSJDJDJD#vague cw#kinda#it's also just a generalized commentary.
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babygirl i can shotgun shojou anime you’ve never even heard of
#its me. i’m never even heard of.#please contact my family ‼️ this is the fifth one in three days ‼️#dmv tried to confiscate my weeb card bc i didn’t watch shit for like a year#jokes on them. i’m stuffing girl isekais into my pockets and sprinting for the hills#evi.txt
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"Translation Obfuscation"
#multifarious#comics#conundrum#shelf (real?)#polygonal threat#pocket uranium#mosaic moment#blurry spiders#secret translation codex#prism#awfully strange fish machine#or is it a desk#kanji by my weeb sister
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Idk why I’m complaining about this 3+ years later but it still bums me out in ACNH that when a villager moves out, unless they move to someone else’s island, they don’t remember you next time you encounter them. I feel like that combined with villagers not moving out without your approval made me less willing to let go of them. Plus it was always exciting when a villager moved back in, vs now it’s kind of sad to encounter a villager you had on an island and them having no idea who you are.
#weeb problems#I started playing pocket camp again which lead to me trying to play new horizons more again#but it’s like I don’t want certain villagers to leave because then that bond is just erased?#it’s sad
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Suck it bitches I found a station idol latch kiosk
#I picked these up thinking they were buttons but they’re actually pocket mirrors???#I’ll probably just hot glue safety pins to the back because I don’t really have a use for pocket mirrors#but I’ve been getting buttons in gachapons and stuff so I decided to lean into it and start a weeb button wall#station idol latch#sorry the picture is so dogshit there’s not much I can do about that
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usopp wouldn't mind being in love with a boy, if it didn't mean being in love with sanji. sanji wouldn't mind being in love with usopp, if it didn't mean being in love with a boy.
#i know i have already done a similar one to this yesterday#BUT#i was a fool#why am i forgetting THEEE ship that fits this quote the most#literal homophobic homotron 3000 and mr boys-and-girls-are-both-hot#sanuso#pocketful of weeb#chattering bird
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nerd-kun tomura crushin on the pretty clerk at the comic shop🥺 she's always so sweet BUT THEN HE FINDS OUT ABOUT THE BOYFRIEND
Shigaraki Tomura x darling
TW: f!reader, creepy behavior, stalking-ish, obsession, incel-vibes
fem reader
It spurs from something so small. Something you forget by the next customer in line, whom you treat just the same, bagging their comics and figurines with a trained smile. But for Tomura, it’s special. How you dub his fifteen percent membership discount as a “pretty-boy discount,” or when you give him an extra stamp on his loyalty card and flash him a cheeky wink as though to say “just between us,” or when you smile so brightly, looking him right in his eyes when you tell him to “please come again soon, Tomu-kun~”
He can’t believe you even remember his name. A pretty girl like you.
It’s all a delusion. Deep down, he knows you just read it off the registry after scanning his membership card. But it feels too good to imagine you know who he is, to imagine you actually hope to see him come back soon.
His favorite thing to do is ask you to recommend him something new. To see you nod all eagerly, gushing while skipping about the aisles, helping him search.
“You must have a lot of time on your hands to be done with those volumes you bought last week, Tomu-kun.” You joke, scanning the shelves with him trailing after – hood pulled over the mess of his hair with hands shoved down the front pocket – now looking up from the shadow it cast – eyes wide.
You know my name…
You snort, giggling. “Of course I know your name, silly.”
His stupor shrivels into a blush, realizing he’d spoken out loud. But you don’t seem concerned by it – nor do you even notice as you stretch up on your tippy-toes to reach for a book.
“I’d be a real airhead to forget it – you’re in here practically every day.” You flash him that trained smile – all pearly white with a breath of laughter – offering the book you’d just picked out for him to reach. “You’re becoming my best friend – I see you more than I see my boyfriend!”
Tomura doesn’t reply. Nor does he accept your hand-out.
He’s too caught up in your words. A wrinkle scrunching up between his brows – eyes slim while staring at you – feeling his temple pulse.
That’s not very service-inclined of you to say. Customers don’t want to know you have a boyfriend. That ruins the fantasy. You’re supposed to be the friendly flirt – the girl that’s really too pretty to be a weeb but doesn’t know it herself – the one he can go home and fist his cock to while imagining he has a chance even though you’re way out of his league.
His crush on you was harmless.
But you just had to go and ruin it, didn’t you? Had to shatter the dream – dropping the boyfriend bomb, calling him your friend. Jeez, could you be any more obvious? That’s how you nice sweet polite girls like to say you’re not interested, right?
You love the attention, but you snuff it out the moment it becomes too tedious, don’t you?
Fucking bitch.
You regret it, right? When you get off work and wind up in the boot of his car with your pretty face taped shut.
He’s going to teach you a thing or two about true customer service.
#yandere shigaraki#yandere my hero academia#yandere boku no hero academia#yandere shigaraki tomura#yandere shiggy#yandere shigaraki x reader#yandere mha#yandere bnha#shigaraki smut#shigaraki thirst#yandere tomura shigaraki#yandere tomura#tomura smut#tomura shigaraki x reader#shigaraki fanfiction#shigaraki x y/n#shigaraki imagine#shigaraki x you#tomura x you
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Heyy could you write prompt 27 “You kept me as your favourite secret” with Tim Bradford? Thanks x
Tagging: @malindacath @kmc1989 @anime-weeb-4-life @burningpeachpuppy @viridianphtalo
It’s only when Tim meets your ex-husband that he realises the reason you’ve kept your relationship a secret from the people you work with. He notices the tension in your body, the second the other man steps inside the precinct.
Captain Anthony Ashworth.
The man who used to beat the living hell out of you after a few too many drinks, who’d tried to stop you making detective after you decided to divorce him. He doesn’t make the connection until that moment; you’ve always referred to your ex as Tony.
Tim has to sit there through roll call and watch as the other man delivers orders, knowing that under that genial smile is the heart of a monster.
“He put his gun in my mouth.” You had told him one night, when the two of you were swapping war stories. “Told me he’d make it look like I’d blown my own brains out.”
“What did you do?” Tim had asked you.
He means your perceived crime, the one that you were accused of because with an abuser there’s always something.
“My partner was a man. He didn’t believe me when I told him that Hasim was gay.” You explain as Tim’s fingertips trace over the cigarette burns embedded into the underside of your arm. “I thought he was going to kill me that night, so I got out.”
“I’m glad you did.” He says fiercely. “I’m glad you survived him.”
You’re avoid Tim all day, and he gets it. It’s your way of protecting him. If Tony sees the two of you interacting, he’ll know the truth, that you’re in love with another man and he’ll punish Tim for that.
It comes to a head in the parking lot, Tim steps outside and he sees their new Captain talking to you alongside your car. He recognises the pinched expression on your features, the stiffness in your body language. You are trying everything in your power not to show your fear, but Tim sees it, he sees everything when it comes to you.
By the time he takes steps to intervene Ashworth is already walking away and your left standing by your car, fists clenched and body trembling.
“Hey.” He says quietly, redirecting your attention. “Are you doing ok?”
You shake your head, your eyes stinging, and it breaks Tim’s fucking heart because he can see the devastation inside of you. He knows you’re already making plans, considering your next steps.
“You’re going to run.” He realises as he looks into your eyes.
You let out a shaky breath as you tuck your hands into the pockets of your leather jacket.
“Yea.” You tell Tim. “I have to.”
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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee
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>be me, new to actually playing tf2
>have picked up on its lore from friends who are more into it than me, have read a few fanfics
>am canadian (this will be relevant later)
>decide it sounds like fun
>consistently main healer in other games, decide tf2 is no exception and play medic
>spend what feels like eternity in community servers just absolutely being shit at it for no apparent reason
>finally manage to contribute to a match in a meaningful way by pocketing a soldier who was about to die to an enemy scout
>he thanks me and rocket jumps away
>youdeserveamedal.wav ringing in my ears
>brain chemistry immediately alters somehow
>start looking at fanfics again after the match is over
>nosedive hard into soldier/medic shit, start looking for any fan content i can find with soldier in it once i cant find any more
>go through all the comics and official renders in what feels like just a few minutes
>compile a passworded folder on my computer dedicated just to cute pictures of soldier just named “jane images”
>fucking hate how happy i get looking at pictures of my Special Guy
>most of my irls (also all canadian) know about this and call me a “freeaboo” (like a weeb but for america)
>admin of my irls discord server gives me the role “basically american” and they @ the role whenever the usa wins a sportsball thing
I DONT WANT TO BE AMERICAN I DONT WANT TO BE GAY FOR FUNNY HELMET MAN PLEASE I JUST WANTED TO PLAY THE SILLY HAT GAME NO NO NO HELP HEP HELP
ASSIGNED AMERICAN BY HAT GAME BOYFRIEND
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Unexpectedly busy week, that was. Except today. Today I got home and ate ice cream
Only two options in the poll this time! Is there a secret reason?! Yes, it's because I didn't have any more ideas The poll is only going to be available for 24 hours, because I should be able to get the next part up tomorrow!
Tags: NSFW, S.M.U.T., genie, microtransactions???
(Story Index)
Anime Girls
"I wish for a harem of anime girls!" you blurt out before you can think.
Joy appears mildly shocked for a moment, but then she gives you a wry smirk. "Look at you, making a wish like that. You perverted weeb."
You frown and put up a finger of protest, but Joy quickly continues, "I know. I know. You're not the first of your kind I've come across, master. Being a weeb is an honored profession nowadays, and you're all special because of your unique waifu and/or husbando selection(s). I know the drill."
The air around you seems to contract and expand simultaneously, and everything in your line of sight briefly tints green. Except, that is, for Joy herself. Even as space bends in front of your very eyes, causing no small amount of queasiness to knot about in the pit of your stomach, Joy remains on the table, sitting up with the same smooth grace she has continuously displayed up to this point and only looking as green as usual, which isn’t all that green, really.
And then it's over. The air feels normal again, and your standard color vision has returned.
"Was that the wish?" you ask.
"Sure was!"
You look around. Nothing has changed. You see no anime girls. Not even your waifu (though, considering Joy told you she can't read your mind, you're not sure how she would have known to pick her). "So, where's the harem?"
"I figured you wouldn't be able to list each and every anime girl you've ever wanted to fuck."
Joy pauses. After a few seconds you say, "That's not a useful explanation."
"Oh. Right. Check your phone."
"My phone?" you inquire, as you reach down to take your phone from the pocket of your discarded shorts.
"Yup! I've noticed that most weebs are very heavily invested in their own tropes, which I appreciate, as you can imagine. And one of the more common tropes in harem anime I've seen is that the protagonist controls some aspect of the world around them with a supernaturally-powered smartphone."
You tap your phone out of sleep mode. "So, I have a phone… harem?"
"No, master. You have a magic app that summons anime girls into your presence, all of which are suspiciously and sexually attracted and devoted to you, of course. This will make your harem as weebly wobbly as you can possibly get!"
You exit your phone's internet browser, where, obviously, you had been reading existslikePristin fanfics, and go to your home screen. A new app does a little inflation animation to let you know of its location. The icon is a silhouette of a lithe woman on a green, circular background, and is not labeled. You tap to open it. There is no waiting on load time. You're immediately taken to a very cluttered generic fantasy town isometric view, with bubbles of text all over the place. You think the text might be Sumerian.
"It's a mobile gacha game!" Joy looks and sounds far too proud of herself. "And with my special djinnfluencer promo code, you get one thousand free shards! And that's not all! You get ten free spins, five billion gold coins, and double daily rewards for the first week!”
Options:
Okay, that was exceptionally dumb. Ask if there’s a way to undo a wish.
Whatever. A harem’s a harem. Figure out this app and summon an anime girl.
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hihihihihihihiiiii !!!
most memorable highschool moment?
woah !!! personal questions ahoit me !!! i love them i feel lime im on a talkshhow
i have like .. SO MANY high school memories and mosr od them are sas and embarassing in a funny silly way bwcause i had no friends AND zero social skills AND ALSO i donr understand social cues and am overall just rrally bad at talking and everyrhinf ... i lesrnt origami to make friends because i thoufh "hey, if i make people origami animals, theyll be friends with me !!!" whixh didnt work ! so j nlw can make like really intricate detailed oragamis by memory ! also the same with juggglong whixh i can do now ! dodnr get me any frienxs thoufh
ANYWAYS THE STORY !!!! i have a habit of falling over everyrhing and everyrhinf because one, my school shoes didnt fit and i didnt bother to get new shoes since it was my last year and two, i wear huge fucjing platform shoes wore like thise mary jane platform shoes to school so youknow falling is mkre likely with me. i was walking home in a new path because i has to fo to the dentist and i wasnt looking down, and si i fell. but i didnt just fall. i had a school uniform which came wirh a skirr, and as i fell my skirt FLEW up into the air i looked like i came out from a scene made for fanservice i looked like i was going to say KYAAA !!!! in a high pitced voice my skirt flew UP in a way self diagnksed weebs wpukd moan and grunt over do you get me ? i had nothing but oants on undeneath, and god humself wouldnt be able to xounr how many people there were behind me becaude it was badically half the fuxking school taking that same road. i showed my ass to everyone. whenever i fall i also alwyas make a noise, bur nor a normal OOOH !!! noise bur a fucking cartoonish ass tom and jerrys sound.
i fell down, ass up, skirt flyong, pants showing, and i yelled out loud "yeeEEOWCHIE !!!!!". and eveeyone hesrd me. everythinf fell ot of my pockets but i didnt look back ir was like a scene from james bond bur instead of wlaking away from explosions i was walking away from embarassmenr. my keys, earphones, charger, pen, pencil, had fallen onto the floor on my descent to the floor in an anime girl style and a mickey mouse voice. and thats nkt even the msot embarassing moment of my life. i gave the kids behind me a SHOW
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