Very fed up with the number of able people who seem to think I jest when I say I need delivery for something, not click and collect.
No, I cannot just 'pop out'.
No, it isn't easy and convenient.
No, 'I am disabled and need delivery' is not something you can just skim over and dismiss.
There was a time in my life where I walked absolutely everywhere and a trip to the corner shop was nothing. THAT TIME HAS PASSED.
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Ugh can we pls talk about this because oh my god i hate the grip these men and movies have on my thoughts. Erik is just stuck in this damn pattern of fucking up the one good thing he's had since... since his mother, since before the camps. (I assume). Motherfucker just had to go and try to kill his boyfriends sister, his ex teammate, and guess what? You were probably correct, Charles once again never held that against him. Imagine what could've happened if Erik wasn't such a pig-headed son of a bitch. Trask wouldn't have gotten that small taste of Raven's blood, and that one deleted scene where Logan is telling Raven what a cold hearted murderous bitch she becomes would've happened and Erik most likely would've been there with them, wanting to stop the upcoming war / genocide any way he could if his ego wasn't so strong. And speaking of that deleted scene, was Charles just getting inside Raven's mine to spite her?? Because we know previously he'd promised to never get inside her head, until he did in Cuba, but it was like at this point in the he just wanted to rile her up.
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Since I only now finished the second season there is already quite a bit of meta available for the end and while I find a lot of it interesting and I'm not saying it's wrong (because who knows where Mr. Gaiman is hopefully taking us) I also think it's fascinating that at the core of a lot of theories seems to be the assumption that Aziraphale acted out of character in that last scene when I find he acted extremely like himself.
1) The decision to go back to heaven
Aziraphale has - different from Crowley - never been comfortable acting independently from heaven. He did it when he found it necessary (and later more comfortable along with the deal) but there's always been a very clear level of discomfort around it. Crowley was circumspect with his more virtuous actions because he was worried about the possible consequences - Aziraphale has always felt guilty, because what if he was really working against Her?
So him jumping at a chance to work with heaven presumably under his directives, under directives that would understand that you can't just e.g. exchange children, a more compassionate heaven makes total sense to me.
And sure he has to give up the comforts he's grown accustomed to - the food, the books, the variety humanity provides - but he's not selfish. He wasn't going to give them up only to make Armageddon possible, but he certainly is ready to sacrifice them for the greater good. As he tells Crowley: I can make things better.
2) Why does he believe Metatron?
Angels Don't Lie.
This season has hammered this idea home and good - sure they can obfuscate, they can leave out details, they can forget, but they don't lie.
And yes of course he himself is proof that they certainly can and nothing will happen, but I do think that he believes himself to be an abberation in this case and that the only reason he hasn't been punished is because Crowley is the only one that knows. And he's still mostly really bad at lying so I think he truly believes he'd be able to spot it - in a way even Aziraphale's first lie was extremely see-through but since angels don't lie they also don't know how to spot them in themselves.
(Plus i also think that since Aziraphale is one of the lower tier angels he's convinced that also gave him a pass.)
3) Asking Crowley to come back to heaven with him, knowing that would hurt him
Now the second part of that assumption is the crux, the most central part to why his actions are very much in character for Aziraphale, because does he know?
I don't think he does and all his actions during their flashbacks and interactions proves that at the heart of it he fully 100% believes that if he could, Crowley would jump at getting to undo his Fall.
Because to him Crowley is good and Crowley is Kind - and he's only forced to pretend he isn't because as a Demon he can't be. And he just wants Crowley to live happily, to be happy and for Aziraphale that means not being Fallen.
I don't think Aziraphale wants to change Crowley or that he spent 6000 years trying to fix him or anything toxic like that. But we see how he feels about the mere idea of Falling, how he acts when he's sure it's his time to go after Job - he's devastated, he's crying, he's desperate.
And it's not like Crowley is helping - Hell is hell and he never sugar coats that. And while Aziraphale had over the millenia gotten a few stern talking-to's, he's never been punished the way he had to watch Crowley he punished.
And on top of it all, he remembers Crowley pre-Fall, how happy, how joyful, how full of wonder and how he didn't have to hide any of this then. How he could just be this way without having to hide it away.
So i don't think he realises that Crowley's decision to be alone so he doesn't have to play along with Hell's schemes actually applies to the whole system.
And the reason he doesn't realise this is because at the heart of it, he believes in heaven. Despite everything, despite the cruelties he's seen and been done to him, he believes that there is something like the Ultimate Good, the place God's plan is truly realised and he believes that that place is Heaven. It's not the system's fault, it's the angels who made the decisions and even those aren't evil (because Angels Are Good) they are misguided or clueless or uneducated etc. Aziraphale clings to this world view and he always has done so - he's even in s2 adamant that Heaven Is Good and Hell Is Evil.
So of course he would want to be in charge, to change Heaven the way he always felt it should be.
And of course he'd want Crowley there; to an extent Crowley is his standard of who Angels/ Heaven should act/be - kinder than anyone no matter the circumstances.
So I do think his offer was heartfelt, was supposed to be their triumph as a couple, to be able to be part of a whole but also together, where they belong and where they can make things better for the humans they're both so fond of.
Even his reaction to Crowley disagreeing to go fits perfectly in what we know of him - we get pretty much the exact same reaction when Crowley refuses to help with Gabriel: a plea, an earnestly expressed desire to do it with Crowley but just as earnest obstinacy to go at it alone if Crowley doesn't want to join him.
So all in all while that last scene breaks my heart and makes me want to shake him it fits so well into the Aziraphale we've come to know that I can't find myself being mad at it.
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