Been watching that long ass takedown of Lily Orchard's old SU video and my god I will never be over how she just like, continuously calls a queer jewish woman a nazi for *checks notes* having the main character of her PG children's show find a non-violent solution to the main conflict instead of just immediately killing the big bad guys.

Gem Steven’s gem is flipped upside-down. (Theory/Speculation time!)

SPOILERS FOR @spudinacup’s SU AU “Gone Wrong”!

Also WARNING: long post!

So recently, someone pointed out that Steven has a scar on his torso going across his gem’s location, which I found interesting in and of itself. Makes sense, since he wasn’t able to heal it since he DIED and his gem was shoved out of his body before it got the chance to heal him. That slash mark is there now. Wow, neat! Nice detai-

Wait.

Hold on a sec.

Is his gem... flipped upside-down? Well, it’s been like this for a while, maybe it’s just a creative choi-

...oh.

This is VERY intentional.

So I did some digging, and found much more symbolism and possible foreshadowing, and now I want to throw out my theory about Gem Steven here, including his potential arc and character development. I’ll try to keep everything brief while still blowing your minds, and I’ll try to get across what my jumbled mind has come up with.

Spud please notice me.

I will not be uploading photos to go with everything I say (go reread the comic after this and verify for yourself what all I’ve said), but I’ll show visuals when they’re necessary. I do not claim ANY of this art as mine (I wish my art was this good ;u; ), all of it belongs to Spudinacup and their SU AU, which has all kinds of hidden symbolism, foreshadowing, and visual cues we haven’t picked up on yet, as I’ve just learned while researching this theory. This ain’t your run-of-the-mill AU, everything in here is intentional. Scott Spud doesn’t do coincidences. So I’ll point out that stuff in screenshots.

Okay let’s go.

SO! To begin with, let’s talk about why his gem may have flipped, and to realize that, we have to know when. We don’t see the gem much, but we do see it constantly through Chapter 1, where it is normal. The pentagon is pointed upward. However, in Chapter 2, this is where we see it flipped upside down. When did that happen? We didn’t see it. I believe it happened in that first scene in the bathroom, right after we left. The butterflies were swarming angrily, and Steven was very lost in thought.

Notice whenever those butterflies appear. They seem to show up every time he thinks about who he is. Is he still Steven, or is he someone else now? Steven is dead. Everyone is mourning him, trying to heal him, but Gem is still here. So if Steven is dead, but Gem is still alive, that must mean he isn’t Steven then, right? But then that undoes everything we learned in “Change Your Mind.” He IS Steven. He’s always been Steven. But that’s when they were together...

...And so the butterflies swarm.

Notice how the first one shows up when he looks at himself in the mirror. When you look in a mirror, you should see yourself, right? But who IS he? In the show, butterflies represent thoughts and ideas, mostly dark ones, disturbing ones, or ones you don’t want to think about. Well, he already spent WAY too long proving who he was, so now to do it again sucks.

But he isn’t Steven anymore. He’s on the couch being mourned. But he’s already proved he IS Steven before, and it’s this uncertainty that is making his mind swirl. I believe this is why he flipped his gem. Just upside-down, so it’s a small thing no one will notice, while he tries to figure it out. In doing so, he’s separated himself from “Steven”, as they’re not one and the same anymore, and the flipped gem shows this. He’s someone else right now. Maybe. He’s not sure.

So what do we call you for right now? Steven. He already proved he was Steven, so until he’s proved otherwise, Steven it is. Now he just has to figure out what exactly that name means and wether or not he still fits that quota.

Flipped gem/Pink Diamond imagery is EVERYWHERE, mostly hidden in drastic shadows or in panels. It’s things you don’t notice at first, until they’re staring you in the face. See if you can spot them from the 3 screenshots below.

There’s probably more hidden throughout the comic, these are just the ones I’ve found that I feel confident enough to show as hard evidence.

So, what does it all mean? We’ll talk about the screenshots in order, left to right.

First, the Diamond is hidden as the panel in the center. In it, Human Steven lies upside down while the gem-panel is technically upside right. This can be interpreted in a few ways, but what that means to me is that something isn’t right here. If you flip Steven back around so he’s upside right, the gem is now upside down. Notice Gem Steven looking towards his human half on the bottom panel there, clutching his shirt over his gem. It’s a motion we’ve seen Steven do a TON throughout the show, anytime he’s thinking about Rose/Pink, who he is, or complicated gem stuff as a whole. Because early on, his identity was always shrouded in shadow. THAT is Steven, on the couch, without his gem. So for Gem Steven to call himself Steven is inaccurate, but also not at the same time. It’s all swarming in his head, and thus, the gem is flipped.

Next, he’s just broken the rejuvenator. This was probably the hardest to spot of the three, but if you look at the panel where Bismuth asks “feel better?” you will see, in the background, a white line cut through the soft pink hues. Look closer. It’s the outline of the gem, but it’s flipped correctly this time. This is because Bismuth seems to be the only person NOT saying Steven is dead, and treating his gem half one and the same. Is she unnerved? Yeah, but who WOULDN’T be? This is still Steven we’re talking about, as emotionally blocked as he is. He’s aware of why everyone is being weird around him, so to see Bismuth trying her best to treat him with familiarity instead of a completely different, new, dangerous stranger is really calming and helps to calm the storm a bit.

Notice the gem is flipped correctly. This is because he feels like Steven right now. Bismuth has been constant confirmation that he is still Steven, no matter the circumstances. Notice how his eyes dialate back to a larger size. They do that a lot in the comic, articulating his emotions without changing the rest of his face. It’s a clever detail to keep track of. His eyes grow more relaxed, dialating bigger when she pats his shoulder, asking if he feels better after destroying the weapon that killed him. It’s a huge relief for him to hear. So, the gem is correct.

Finally, we see Bismuth telling Greg that his son is dead, which is very contradictory to what Bis was saying earlier (in Steven’s eyes). Where is the gem on that frame? Look at Steven’s shadow. There it is, facets and all. To us, the gem is correct, but think about it this way: if Steven were actually replaced with the gem in that frame, what would it look like, Pink’s or White’s? That’s right. The point is coming from his feet, meaning it would look more like White’s, meaning it is back to being flipped upside down. Again, Bismuth just said Steven is dead, meaning he’s back to questioning his whole entire identity. So it’s back to being flipped upside-down.

It seems that the orientation of the symbolic gems hidden throughout panels show quite clearly where his head is at in terms of who he is. If it’s upside down, he’s separating himself from the cold meatball on the couch, whereas when it’s normal/upside right, he is associating himself WITH the cold meatball on the couch.

Notice he’s been grabbing at his gem a lot recently, too, all things he does while in turmoil over who- or WHAT- he is. He cannot heal right now. He can’t use his powers. Some powers are new and unfamiliar (see the more recent pages where Lapis struck out with water and he blocked with those hexagonal shields/walls). “Steven HEALS people.” He can’t, so who is he?

This is something he’ll need to have an answer to by the time the comic is done, and this is a mission for Gem Steven and Gem Steven alone. If his human half were alive (and content without his gem), he’d probably call himself “Steven” no questions asked, since he GOT his answer already, two years ago. But Gem can’t do that, not when everyone keeps drawing all these lines between the two. He needs to learn what being “Steven” means, and know that he is a part of a greater whole, but on his own, he is STILL Steven. Everyone else needs to realize this, too, and stop separating the two. It’s gonna be rough, since it may feel like replacing what they lost, but is it really? It’s going to be a tough road to trek, and I don’t know what anyone’s answer is gonna be (that’s the big mystery here, after all), but I’m here for it.

Remember, all of this has been speculation on what may happen based on facts and clues Spud has presented us with. I’m not claiming to know how Gem Steven’s arc will end, but I am throwing my hat into the ring on where I THINK it will go. Either way, the foreshadowing, symbolism, and unspoken characterizations here have been excellent, and I’m looking forward to seeing everything play out. Spud, your mind is incredible, and whatever you’ve got planned over there, I’m confident the answer will be satisfactory.

I’ll shut up now. Thank you for reading this huge meta post, and go read Spud’s comic. You can find it at @suaugonewrong or on Spud’s Tumblr, which was linked above. If you think I’m wrong or have a counter argument, bring it. Let’s talk, cause this is genuinely interesting and fun to dissect. I wanna talk about it OwO

Thank you. You may now continue scrolling.

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch26: The Only One In Colour

Summary: Mr Anthony Stark requests the pleasure of your company at the wedding of his little sister, Katie Marie Stark to Captain Steven Grant Rogers…

Warnings: Bad language, Fluff, Smut! (NSFW, Under 18s) Bad Language words, a hungover Captain…and who is that lurking in the shadows??

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: The big day is finally here. And I ADORE this edit from @angrybirdcr. Lots of visuals in this chapter and it’s a REALLY long one- like 10k words long- but, well, IT’S THEIR WEDDING!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 25

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

 31st August 2015.

It took Katie a while to realise where she was when she woke. As her mind came to, she realised she was in her apartment at the tower, and when her eyes flew to the dress in its cover which was hanging up in the open closet, her stomach did a flip.

It was her wedding day!

“Good Morning Miss Stark.” FRIDAY spoke, and Katie grinned. 

Miss Stark…not for much longer!

“Miss Potts requested I inform her when you are awake…”

“Inform away.” She smiled, and jumped out of bed, grinning at the reflection of her tacky ‘Bride’ short and vest Pyjamas that the girls had surprised her with last night when they had been sat around having their pamper session with several glasses of champagne. Making her way into the living room, she was greeted by a loud squeal from Wanda, who along with Laura Barton had stayed in her apartment last night. Considering the amount of champagne that had been drunk, they all had surprisingly clear heads. It wasn’t long before Pepper and Nat arrived, and after a breakfast of fruit, pastries and croissants provided by the local bakery, Katie was ushered into the shower surprised at how calm she actually felt…

The boys, however, were faring a little worse, especially after Tony had cracked open a bottle of his dad’s vintage scotch which he had been saving for a special occasion and Thor had supplied Steve with copious amounts of that lethal Asgardian liquor along with some equally as potent Asgardian Ale. The Groom cracked one eye open and groaned when he realised he had passed out, fully clothed, on the sofa, Tony led flat out along the other side of it, drooling into the cushions.

Steve looked round, Clint was on the large arm chair in the corner of the room, Sam was sprawled face down on the large rug and Thor nowhere to be seen. Jesus Christ it had been a heavy one.

Of all the days to get his first hangover in over seventy years…his wedding morning.

His wedding morning. Shit.

Sitting up, a stupid grin on his face, headache forgotten he nudged Tony with his foot. The billionaire jerked and tumbled off the side of the sofa.

“Whassgoin on?” He looked around, blinking, before he grimaced. “Shit, my head…”

Clint let out a groan from the chair.  “Keep it down man…”

Sam let out an equally pained noise, not moving. “What day is it?” “My wedding day, fellas.” Steve grinned.

Tony groaned again, leaning back against the sofa “How are you so sprightly, Old Man?” “Trust me I’m not.” Steve shook his head, standing up “But Katie will kill me if we turn up like this.”

“Coffee.” Clint yawned, swaying slightly as he got to his feet. “We need coffee…” “And food.” Sam mumbled into the rug

“Good job I organised some.” Tony looked at his watch, squinting. “Should be arriving soon.” “Where’s Thor?” Clint suddenly asked as he glanced around.

“Here.” came the god’s deep voice as he strolled into the room. He was already dressed in a pair of jeans, t-shirt and his hair was damp from the shower

“How are you so alive, Thunder boy?” Sam sighed, sitting up.

“Like you just said, Bird Man.” Thor beamed round at them all. “I am the God of Thunder.” ******

Two hours later, Pepper was bustling around topping everyone’s Champagne up and when she reached Katie she gave her smile. “You ok?”

“Yeah.” She beamed back. “Maybe a little nervous, but mostly excited. I can’t believe I’m finally here. It feels like we’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

Pepper gently squeezed her hand. “Yeah. Tony has been on the job making sure the tent is right. The Caterers have arrived. And I got a full blow by blow as he was nearly having had a fit when the alcohol and bar were an entire four minutes and thirty-four seconds late.” “I thought organisation was your job?” Nat quipped from where she was lounging in a chair, dressed in her light blue ‘Bridesmaid’ robe.

“It is.” Pepper rolled her eyes. “And I told him it would be okay but, well, he just want everything to be right.” Katie rolled her eyes, a fond little smile playing on her lips at the thought of her brother still trying to make sure she was happy. “Where is he now?”

“He spent the night with the boys at the compound so he’ll be on his way back shortly to get changed. Apparently they sat outside at the compound with a bottle of whiskey and a few cigars and there are some sore heads this morning” Pepper smirked. “Even Steve is feeling it.”

Katie grinned, she’d only seen drunk Steve a handful of times, and Drunk Rogers was definitely one of her favourite Steves to see.

Wanda shook her head. “What is it about men and cigars?”

Natasha shrugged. “I like cigars.”

“What a surprise.” Laura grinned, earning herself a glare off the red head. They were cut off then by FRIDAY informing them that the stylists had arrived. Pepper told her to send them up and suddenly the room was filled with people, greetings being shared and Pepper organising everyone into their places as she did ever so efficiently.

And then, it was down to business. The Hairstylist, Franco, knew exactly what Katie wanted as she’d had a rehearsal and he set about, sweeping her brunette locks up into the up-do she’d picked- a bun sporting a few small braids running from her crown and round into the hair set at the nape of her neck. Loose tendrils of dark brunette fell forward around her cheeks, the whole thing set perfectly to frame her pretty face.

Time seemed to fly as one by one they exchanged places and moved around, and soon enough Katie was then in front of the make-up artist.

“Don’t worry about a thing,” The tiny blonde in front of her said as Katie quietly asked her to do her best to cover the scars by her mouth and temple, small reminders of what she’d been through at the hands of HYDRA. “You’re going to look perfect. I promise.”

Another glass of champagne made it into Katie’s hand and thirty minutes later she was done and handed a mirror. Her mouth dropped open. She’d had her make-up professionally done more times than she cared to remember but something about this was different. Someone else, but yet, still her glanced back. She had a light, neutral shade across her eye lids, which had a darker colour in the crease and a hit of sparkle. The contouring across her sculptured cheek bones was amazing, yet subtle, as the highlighter sweeping up and out caught the light perfectly, and the nude gloss on her lips set everything off.

And her scars were gone.

She swallowed and turned to the woman, smiling. “It’s perfect, thank you.”

Before the woman could reply, there was another announcement from FRIDAY about a delivery, and Katie glanced around and Pepper.

“What did you order?”

“That’s not me, I swear.” Pepper shook her head.

“I’ll go.” Nat offered, “I’m done here now.”

She headed out of the room and Katie stood up to allow Pepper to sit down for the make-up artist in the seat next to where Wanda was sat having the finishing touches done to her face. She looked amazing, dark smoky eye-shadow set off her eyes and red locks perfectly.

Natasha arrived back, a smirk on her face as she carried a simply huge bouquet of flowers which were tied with a blue ribbon and sat in a clear bag of water, a small Cartier bag also hanging from her hands.

“For the Bride.” She drawled, and Katie took the bouquet, smiling, not even needing to read the card to know who they were from.

“They’re from Steve.”

“How do you know?” Laura frowned. “They’re the ones in my tattoo.” She explained as she placed them gently on the kitchen area of her Tower Apartment admiring the various lilies, daisies and greenery set into the arrangements. “My favourite flowers.”

She picked the card out of the bouquet, spotting Steve’s looping scrawl straight away.

I can’t wait to make you Mrs Rogers, Sweetheart. See you at the Alter. All my love,  now and forever, Steve xxx

“That’s disgustingly cute.” Laura groaned, reading the card over Katie’s shoulder as she grinned at the simple yet meaningful message.

“That’s my Soldier all over.” Katie smiled before she opened the bag. She pulled out the small box and opened it, her mouth falling open at the beautiful drop earrings inside. They were roughly two inches long, chains of small diamond and white gold stars which glinted in the light.

“Star Spangled Man, huh?” Nat smirked and Katie turned to her grinning.

And suddenly the excitement washed over her. This was happening. Actually happening.

“Shit!” Katie wheeled round as her stomach started to flip “Oh my God, I’m getting married!”

**** Steve finished brushing off his shoes which were polished that much he could almost see his face in them. With a groan as the pain in his head had once again reared, damned that fucking Asgardian shit, he slipped them on and laced them up and then turned his attention to his hair. Once he had finally got it to lie how he wanted, it was time for his tie.

He hadn’t taken the decision to wear his army uniform lightly. It had been one he had agonised over for ages, but after Katie had told him it was entirely his choice but he should stay true to who he was, he’d realised that before Captain America, he’d been Steve Rogers, and all he had ever wanted was to be in the army. So he was going to be Captain Rogers today, who he was. 

There was a knock on the bedroom door and Sam walked in, already in his uniform. Steve smiled at him in the mirror before expertly tying the double-Windsor and turning round.

“Got the rings?” Sam asked. Steve nodded to the two boxes sat on the dresser which contained their bands. Picking them up, Sam slid them into his breast pockets, fastening the buttons.

“Nervous?” He asked and Steve considered the question for a second.

Was he?

“Kinda.” He admitted with a slight pop of his shoulder. “I don’t wanna mess up my vows, but I’m not nervous about marrying her, nothing has ever felt more right, Sam.”

Sam smiled and swept the man up into a bro-hug, clapping his back. “Tony’s heading off to the tower now. The tent  is ready, waiters are here setting the tables. It’s all going to plan.” “Maybe for once it might stay that way.” Steve sighed and Sam chuckled.

“How’s the head?”

Steve let out a small groan. “Pounding. As best man, I’m holding you totally responsible.”

Sam shrugged “Wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve been blamed for.”

Steve snorted.

“You know what you need?” Sam looked at him. “A leveller.” “A what?”

“Another drink, hair of the dog that bit you and all that…”

At the mere thought Steve’s stomach lurched and he shook his head. “The fuck I do.”

“Trust me.” Sam grinned, as he left the bedroom. “It never fails. How do you think I’ve just cured mine?” Steve followed him into the living room where a photographer was there taking snaps, Thor loudly asking what he was doing. Sam hastily explained, placating the god who was already in his Asgardian dress. Steve paused, looking at him for a second. Instead of the silver and red everyone was used to seeing him in, his robes were a glittering white lined with gold piping, his cape was deep blue and his hair was well groomed.

“Wow, Thor.”

“Traditional Asgardian formal dress.” Thor grinned, turning to Steve. “Little Stark’s request, which reminds me.” He jerked his head signalling for the Captain to follow him. Frowning slightly, Steve obliged, and the men stepped outside onto the patio area.

“Little Stark is very dear to me.” Thor began. “But she is your intended, so I thought it only right to ask your permission to give something to her.”

“Okay.” Steve frowned, a little puzzled.

“I have a headdress.” Thor explained, “It belonged to my mother and has been passed down the line for years. I would very much like to offer it to her to wear today.” Steve smiled, the man’s care for his girl was genuinely something he liked. He was a good man to have onside, and his intentions were always honourable. “She’ll love that.” Steve nodded. Thor shook his hand and held out his other, Steve just getting out of the way in time to avoid being flattened as Mjolnir flew into it with the familiar metallic swoosh, followed by a slap as the leather handle hit the god’s large palm. With a nod to the Captain, and a promise to be back shortly, he took off.

******

Pepper and Natasha looked stunning in their pale blue bridesmaid dresses. Knee length, skater style with off the shoulder straps. Laura’s dress was also blue, but a dark shade peplum style with a slit up the side and Wanda’s was slightly more grungy, almost 50s style, navy blue with polka-dots and a large, puffy skirt.

All four of them looked amazing and Katie told them so, beaming, before Pepper informed her it was time to get into her dress. In a daze Katie headed into the bedroom and taking a deep breath she peeled herself out of her robe as Pepper set the dress ready, and Katie stepped into it. She pulled it up, holding it in place as Pepper’s fingers deftly fastened up the buttons, before she smoothed down and fluffed out the skirt. Katie stepped into her heels, took a glance in the mirror and felt the tears prick her eyes.

“Don’t…” Pepper instructed, handing her a tissue from a box on the side, one which she had clearly bought, prepared to the very end “You’ll set me off, and there’s gonna be enough of that when Tony sees you.” “Where is he?” Katie asked, tissue gently dabbing at her eyes.

“Just getting into his suit.” Pepper smiled. “He won’t be long. Okay, you ready?”

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Katie nodded and the two of them made their way out of the bedroom and into the hall. The photographer that had been taking photos all morning was waiting, snapping away, capturing, she hoped, the look on the girls faces as for the first time ever she saw Natasha’s eyes watering over.

“Shit, Nova.” Nat’s hand flew to her mouth. “Wow.” Katie grinned at her, and was about to answer when the elevator door slid open.

"I’m looking for the one wearing white.” A familiar voice teased as Tony stepped into the apartment, making Katie turn to face him. He stopped dead, his eyes widening.

“Oh Kiddo, you look incredible.”  he whispered, swallowing slightly as his deep brown eyes sparkled, his face curling into a gently smile.

“Thank you, so do you.” Katie gestured to the charcoal suit and light blue Stock Tie he was wearing. Tony took the glass of champagne that Pepper handed to him but, before he could say anything else, another person stepped into the apartment.

A tall, large blonde God dressed in gold and white Asgardian armour beamed at Katie as her mouth fell open.

“Thor?” She looked at him, surprise on her face as he strode across the room to wrap his arms around her.

“Little Stark, you look beautiful.” He smiled down at her. “The Captain is a lucky man indeed.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I cannot stop long I just wanted to give you something.”

She frowned as he held up his hammer and with a sudden flash that made Pepper and Laura jump, she felt something land on her head. Katie reached up gently and felt the outline of a tiara perched on her hair.

“What…I don’t understand?” She whispered as she looked up at him, her fingers tracing the headdress. “It was my mothers.” Thor said gently. “I do not have a sister, you are the closest thing to it and I’d be honoured if you would wear it today.” Katie was speechless as she crossed to the mirror. Made of a silvery metal, the tiara consisted of a mass of intricate lines and reminded her somewhat of how the lost Diadem of Ravenclaw had looked in the Harry Potter films. It shimmered in the light and was adorned with what looked like diamonds, a larger deep red stone in the centre, and she could just make out the small ancient Asgardian runes

“Thor…I…” she turned to him, unable to speak. “I told your Captain of my intention.” He beamed. “He thought you would appreciate it. The runes are an ancient Asgardian blessing, they wish the bearer happiness and safety” “It’s beautiful, thank you.” Her voice cracked.

Thor pulled her in for another hug and nodded. “I must go now, back to the compound. Barton and Birdman and doing one final sweep of the grounds. I said I would help before we meet at the church.”

A final squeeze and nod and he left the room, and minutes later they all heard the tell-tale whoosh as he summoned the bi-frost.

“I really hope he was on the jet pad.” Tony grumbled. “Those damned marks are impossible to get rid of.” ***** Against his better judgment, Steve had a ‘leveller’- another shot of that lethal liquor- and to his surprise, it had actually gone someway to sorting his head out. Either that or his metabolism was finally working it out of his system.

But now he had another issue…

“Where the hell is it?” He was getting flustered, because how the HELL had he misplaced his uniform belt? He’d had it last night, he knew he had.

“It’ll be here somewhere.” Sam assured him, and after a frantic search, which left the apartment almost upside down, Clint located it down the back of the sofa.

“What was it doing there?” Steve frowned.

“Stark was wearing it as a headdress last night.” Thor supplied “You were wearing a tie, Birdman was wearing a pair of Little Stark’s tights and Barton was using a sash from a robe. You were, I believe Stark said the term was, rocking out to some form of music. Do you not remember?”

“No.” Steve mumbled, sliding it on and clipping it round his waist. He walked to the long mirror in the hall and looked at his reflection. Being dressed in this jerked back a lot of memories of his time with the Howlies, Bucky and Peggy…

“Just go talk to her.” Bucky said, leaning against the bar as Steve’s eyes roved up and down Peggy as she stood at the bar in the pub in London talking to Howard Stark.

“I talk to her all the time.” Steve looked at his friend.

“God you’re a dumbass.” Bucky shook his head “I don’t mean just talk I mean, you know…talk, ask her out.”

Peggy looked up, caught his eye and he found himself blushing before turning back to his drink. It really wasn’t appropriate, maybe if it was a different time…

“Captain America and still a pussy when it comes to women.” Bucky snorted, clocking the look on his friend’s face “Glad to see not everything has changed.”

But everything had changed now. And it was funny how it had all worked out in the end. But he wouldn’t change a damned second.

“Captain Rogers…” FRIDAY spoke. “Your cars are arriving.”

Steve took a deep breath and smiled at Sam who walked towards him, clapping him on the shoulder. “You alright?”

Steve nodded, suddenly his stomach was doing flips and this was nothing to do with the alcohol. “Let’s go.”

****

“The cars are here.” Pepper smiled, walking into the room with the box that contained the flowers. She handed Katie her bouquet, a simple bunch of Cala Lilies tied with pale blue, gold and red ribbons. She set about pinning one of the boutonnieres to Tony’s lapel before she smoothed his shirt down and pecked him on the cheek.

“Okay. Nat, Wanda, Laura and me are gonna go ahead now.” Pepper instructed. “You follow on in about fifteen or so, give us enough time to hand these out-“ she patted the box contained the remaining boutonnieres, “-and sort the boys into the right places.”

Katie smiled at her and she looked at the woman she had long since come to regard as a younger sister. “You really do look stunning!”

“Thanks Pep.” She kissed Tony again before she bustled the other three women out.

"You know,” Tony said gently when the door closed behind them, “I always thought when you were a kid that you’d look ridiculous in a wedding dress. But, I was wrong, yeah it happens occasionally.” His face softened as he looked at his sister “You turned into a beautiful woman. Mom and dad would be proud, just as I am.”

“They’d be proud of you too.” Katie smiled, the tears springing into her eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. “You know that right?”

“Yeah, yeah, anyway.” He pulled back, sniffing slightly, before he ran his fingers underneath his eyes. “I have something for you.” With a flourish he reached into his suit jacket and withdrew a slim box.

Katie took it from him, her hands shaking slightly as she opened it. Inside was a stunning white gold necklace. It sported five teardrop shaped loops, each set with diamonds, the middle of the loops holding sapphires.

“It was Mom’s” Tony explained as she ran her fingers over the stones. “I’ve been saving it for you and figured that this…” his voice cracked, “was the perfect opportunity to give it to you.” “Tone,” she swallowed, the tears forming in her eyes once more, “it’s stunning.”

Tony took the box from his sister and gently removed the necklace and she turned round so he could fasten it round her neck.

“So that’s your something blue.” He said as she turned round, and let out a watery laugh.

“My garter’s blue.” “Don’t wanna know.”

Katie giggled and gently wiped at her eyes. “If you’ve ruined my make-up…” She headed to the full length mirror in the hallway and leaned forward to examine her face.

“I think you’re good.” He smiled as she locked eyes with him in the mirror. Satisfied that all the make-up artist’s work was still intact she turned to Tony who rocked forward on his feet a little, giving a clap.

“So, we got time for one last drink before you become a Rogers?” He asked, walking over to the liquor cabinet and reaching for two crystal tumblers.

“You know its’ only in name.” Katie smiled as he poured a few fingers worth of scotch into each glass.

“Still gonna be odd calling you by it.” He handed her one and she smiled. “But either way, you’ll always be my little Kiddo, you know that?” His voice cracked slightly and Katie took a deep breath, her eyes shining.

“Yeah.” She chinked her glass gently against his “I do Tone.” *****

Steve strode across from the car, Sam following and the pair of them began to greet the guests. Steve was starting to feel nervous now. He shook hands with Evans and Lawson, both of them giving him friendly slaps on the back, welcomed a load of other people he’d seen in Katie’s office before, but his mind wasn’t there. He was mulling over his declaration, and his eyes which were hidden behind his aviators, constantly roved the area in front of the church.

And then Sam slapped him on his shoulder.

“What?” Steve asked, turning to face him. 

“Bridesmaids are here Cap.” He smiled, and Steve turned to see the sleek, black Jaguar pull up to the side of the kerb. The driver got out and opened the back door to allow Natasha to climb out first, then Pepper followed, Wanda and Laura Barton getting out of the other side. Laura beelined for Clint who dropped a kiss to her cheek whilst Pepper, Nat and Wanda made their way over to Steve and Sam.

“You look great.” Steve smiled as he dropped a kiss to Pepper’s cheek, then Natasha’s then Wanda. “How’s Katie?”

“Nervous as hell.” Nat drawled, smoothing down her skirt before she looked up at Steve grinning. “Nice touch on the flowers and the earrings by the way, you almost set her off.”

 “But she’s ok?” He pressed.

“If you’re asking whether she’s having second thoughts, not a chance.” Pepper touched his arm. Steve took a deep breath and then turned to the Priest who had joined them.

“She’s about ten minutes or so behind.” Pepper smiled, at the man before she turned to Sam and Steve. “So I suggest you lot get to where you should be.”

“Right, yeah…” Steve took a deep breath, “Ok…”

He turned to head into the church and Sam looked at Natasha. “On a scale of one to ten how dead is she gonna knock him?”

“Eleven.” Nat grinned.

Sam let out a laugh before he yelled to the other groomsmen, and began his duty organising people into the church to the right seats.

**** Katie had a tight hold of Tony’s hand all the drive into Brooklyn. They made easy talk, the pair of them laughing in the back of the car but, as they rounded the corner to the street where the church was, Katie suddenly fell silent.

“You okay?” Tony looked at her. Katie nodded. 

“A bit nervous. Not about marrying Steve but…” She trailed off. “It feels strange, being happy, after everything that we’ve been through.”

“You deserve it.” Tony pressed a kiss to her temple. “Now push that thought out of your mind okay? Today is about you…and Steve.” He added as an afterthought.

Katie laughed as the car pulled to a stop and the driver hopped out. Tony got out of his side and rounded the car to offer Katie his arm. She tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow, her bouquet clutched in the other and together they made their way up to the entrance where the Priest, Pepper and Natasha were waiting. The photographer got a few snaps before he nodded and said he would see them inside.

The Priest smiled and ran through the usual checks and questions which Katie answered and he smiled, clapping his hands together.

“Okay, well, let’s get you married.” He grinned, heading back inside, leaving them stood in the vestibule area. 

Katie took a deep breath and Natasha and Pepper took their places.

“You ready?” Tony questioned, placing his hand over Katie’s as the opening chords to Eva Cassidy’s “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” started up.

“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my entire life.” She squeezed his arm when her knees threatened to wobble as the doors opened.

All heads turned in their direction as Pepper and Natasha made their way down the aisle and Katie’s legs suddenly felt like jello.

“Don’t let me fall.” She whispered as she gripped her big brother’s arm even tighter. 

Tony turned his head to press an affectionate kiss to the side of her head, “Never.” He whispered back with a smile.

As they made their way down the aisle, Katie wanted to take a look around the full church but she couldn’t. She couldn’t take her eyes off her soldier at the front. It wasn’t the fact that he looked especially handsome in his 40s dress uniform that made Katie’s knees tremble, neither was it his, as usual, clean shaven face or his perfectly styled hair. It was his eyes, and the smile on his face that lit up the moment he saw her.

“Oh my god...” Steve managed to mumble, his mouth dropping open, and Sam clapped him between the shoulder blades.

“You’re a lucky man.”

Steve couldn’t bring himself to reply. Instead he stood, gawping like an idiot as his girl glided towards him. She looked incredible, almost like she was glowing. Her dress was elegant, yet almost princess like. Her hair was twisted up off her face and she wore the biggest smile on her face he’d ever seen. He watched as she clutched onto Tony’s arm, her brother giving her hand another squeeze and the two turned to face each other, sharing a moment, before she looked back at Steve and their eyes locked. The Captain took a deep shuddering breath and smiled back, a smile which didn’t leave his face all the time she made her way towards him. 

After what felt like an age, his nearly wife reached his side and stood in front of him.

“Hi.” She managed to whisper, and he shook his head, blinking back his tears as he let out a deep breath.

“You look astonishingly beautiful.” His voice trembled as his eyes bored into hers and she felt herself flush, the grin still plastered to her face.

“Why thanks.” Tony said, and the pair of them looked at him, Steve letting out a simple snort as Katie shook her head, a small laugh escaping her mouth as she handed her bouquet over to Natasha.

“Dearly beloved,” the Priest opened. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Steve and Katie.”

Steve looked at Katie and she gave him another huge grin, neither of them paying any attention to the Priest as he ran through his usual greetings, until there was a little chuckle from the congregation that shook them both back round and the turned to look at him.

“Who here gives this bride away?” he questioned.

“Oh, right, that would be err, me.” Tony stepped forward and gently turned Katie’s left hand into Steve’s right. The two men shared a meaningful look that could only be described as pure respect before Tony stepped back, taking his seat next to Pepper, blinking away his tears as she gripped his hand.

“You have prepared your own declarations before the vows?” The Priest looked at them, and they nodded. “In that case, ladies first.” he smiled at Katie and she took a deep breath, turning to face Steve, as he took both her hands in his, clearing her throat.

“You know, if someone had told me that the man I met for the first time in that small boxing gym down town would be the man I would fall in love with and one day marry, I would have told them they were being ridiculous.” She smiled and Steve squeezed her hands. “Stevie, I’ve watched you grow and thrive in a world that you thought you didn’t belong in but you never let it break you. You have no idea how strong you are and how strong you make me.” She hadn’t realised she’d started crying until Steve released one of her hands to wipe her cheek, his own eyes shining as he felt like his heart was going to burst through his chest as she continued. "When I think back on how much we’ve been through over the past few years, it never fails to amaze me how you carried not just me through it, but everyone around you too. You’re the most honourable, beautiful man I know, and that’s nothing to do with any serum, it’s just who you are. You’re my best friend. My lover. My everything. And I’ll always love you Steven Grant Rogers.”

"Wow,” The minister said clearing his throat. “Captain? Think you could top that?”

“I’ll try my best.” He choked out making laughter ripple through the crowd along with a few sniffles, before he took a deep breath. “Katie, when I went into the ice, I thought I knew what love was. I thought that I was in love before and that I wouldn’t ever feel like that again. And then you walked into my life and not only did I get to know you, I fell head over heels in love with you and you made me understand that a first love and a true love are two Stark-ly different things.”

Katie smiled, and there were a few titters at the pun he had used. He took another shaky breath and continued. “You’re the most beautiful, kind hearted, brave woman I’ve ever met. Each second I spend with you is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. Everything I’ve been through I’d do it a thousand times over, and then some, if it meant I’d find my way back to you. You’re my world, my home, my girl, and for that I will always do my best to be the husband you deserve, to keep you safe, and happy and I’ll always love and cherish you. To the end of the line.”

As he finished, his voice broke a little and Katie took a shuddering breath as she reached up to wipe a tear away from his eye, just as he had done to her before. He smiled at her and she beamed back, her own tears threatening to trickle down her face, as he took her hands back in his, both of them turning to the minister again.

“Anyone got a tissue?” The man asked, pretending to dab at his eyes with his robes causing a few chuckles to ring around the church before he addressed her and Steve again.

“Ready for the serious business?”

They both nodded. One by one they made their vows, promises to love, honour, cherish and forsake all others for richer, for poorer and in sickness and in health being uttered as their eyes intently bored into each other, driving the words home into each of their souls.

The sentiment wasn’t lost on either of them, they’d been through all of it and so much more already.

“Do you have the rings?” The minister asked. Sam stepped forward and gave Katie Steve’s.

Katie did as she was told, placed the ring at the end of Steve’s finger and repeated the vows they had chosen as she looked him straight in the eyes.

“I give you this ring as a token of my love for you. I give it with my loving heart, with my willing body and with my eternal soul.” She slid the plain platinum band onto Steve’s previously bare ring finger and once it passed his knuckle and nestled in its new permanent home, he took a deep breath then exhaled.

Then it was his turn. He rolled Katie’s ring in his fingers before looking up and locking gazes with her as he repeated after the minister the same vows she had made,  finally sliding her diamond studded band down her perfectly manicured finger, his thumb sliding over the top of it. She looked at it for a second, before glancing back up at him, smiling.

"By the power vested in me by the Church and the State of New York, in the presence of God…I mean Gods,” the Minister politely corrected himself, looking at Thor and the bride and groom laughed along with the rest of the Church as Thor raised a hand, grinning. “I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. Captain,” he patted Steve on the shoulder, “you may now kiss your bride.”

Oh, he’d wanted to do that the minute she had walked into the Church!

With a smile, Steve closed the small distance between them and took her face in both his large hands, as hers slid up to his chest and he pressed a soft, sweet and perfect kiss to her lips.

There was loud cheering and clapping as they pulled back and Katie had just enough time to register the cheeky wink he flashed her before his hands pulled her back to him and this time he really kissed her, in a way that was totally not appropriate for a church but neither of them cared as his tongue slid along hers. Through the blood rushing in their ears, they could just make out the sound of more cheering and a couple of wolf whistles. They broke apart and for a long moment, their foreheads pressed together and they just smiled stupidly at one another, until Steve reluctantly stepped back so he could take his wife’s hand in his, and turn to face their guests.

“Ladies, gentlemen, please be upstanding for your bride and groom!” The minister spoke “Mr and Mrs Rogers!”

Their exit song ‘Signed, Sealed, Delivered’ struck up and for the first time Katie got to glance at everyone in the room. She smiled at so many people, when a squeeze to her hand from Steve brought her back and he beamed at her.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Never better!” she grinned.

He pressed another soft kiss to her lips before they set off down the aisle. As they reached the end, Steve bent to pick up something, and Katie watched the familiar flash of red, white and blue vibranium as he swung it onto his arm.

“Seriously?” She arched an eyebrow.

“Trust me, Doll.” He muttered. “Because I don’t trust that lot one bit.”

The photographer got a few shots of everyone and then people started to climb into cars and head to the compound, all except the Avengers plus partners who had made an arch for the bride and groom to walk under. Steve grinned and turned to Katie, the two sharing another kiss before he nodded at her and they made their way down the steps onto the path. As soon as they did, Katie realised what Steve had been talking about as suddenly a barrage of rice rained down on them as the group yelled and cheered. As she shrieked with laughter, Steve pulled her to him, shield raised over his head, ducking slightly as they made their way to the waiting car. The chauffeur opened the door to the Jaguar SUV and Steve helped Katie in.

“I love you Mrs Rogers.” He grinned as they settled in the back of the car.

“I love you too.” She whispered back as his face dropped towards hers.

“Good, because you’re stuck with me now.” He leaned in, his nose rubbing against hers before he gave her another soft kiss as the car pulled away.

*****.

As the group filed out of the church, no one noticed the man staying close to the shadows across the road. But then they wouldn’t, as it’s a good hiding place, he knew this neighbourhood like the back of his hand after all, and he should do too given the amount of times he and that scrawny little blonde haired punk used to tread the sidewalks getting up to mischief. Full of dirt and leaves from scaling trees they would head back to Steve’s house for his Ma to patch them up, normally getting a clout upside the head (fondly, he recalls, never meant to hurt) as she complained in a strong, Irish brogue, which always seemed so unbecoming from such a slight woman. “You two young hooleys are going to be the death of me, so you are!” She’d admonish as she wiped their various bruises and fed them large pieces of whatever she’d managed to bake from that week’s meagre supplies. Now that small, sickly kid was a strapping six-foot plus mass of muscle, his outward appearance now reflected the brave Captain he had always been, stood in his old army dress uniform, his stunning wife a vision in ivory, and he was pleased to see, looking a lot healthier than she had when he had carried her out of that outpost in Canada. He watched as Steve raised his shield above his bride’s head to shelter her as their group of friends pelt them with rice, planting a kiss to her lips as various cheers and whoops hit his ears, and then they hurried to the waiting car. As it pulled away the last he saw of Steve was him leaning across the to place a kiss on his girl’s, no, his wife’s lips who’s pretty face looked like it might split in half from her smiling so much. “Good for you, Punk.” He muttered and, smiling to himself, he pulled his cap further down over his face and tucked his hands into his pockets. Yes, he had taken a huge risk coming here but he couldn’t not see his childhood best friend on his wedding day… even if his childhood best friend hadn’t seen him. 

With more of a spring in his step than he remembered having since before the war, he headed back to where he had hidden the stolen motorcycle ready to trek back North where he could catch a flight to Europe and slink back into the shadows once more.

****

The sunny August afternoon passed in a daze of champagne, photos and food. 

The head table was situated in the middle of the banquet tent, occupied by Katie, Steve, Sam, Pepper, Tony and Natasha. The rest of the guests were seated at circular tables dotted around, Katie and Pepper having carefully plotted places. Of course the Avengers had their own table, which was rowdy, Thor’s loud voice booming across the Tent as he sat with Jane, who was chatting away to Linda Barton. Vision was perched next to Wanda, conspicuous as always, whilst Banner was talking to Clint. 

When the desert had been eaten, glasses were charged and it was time for the speeches. 

It was Tony’s turn first and as he stood up, both hands raised in his usual flamboyant manner, Katie let out a soft groan as she knew she was about to get a roasting. Her brother started off fairly mildly, toasting the bridesmaids cheekily quipping he was looking forward to taking one home with him that evening.  

“Which one?” Quipped Clint, earning him a slap round the head from Laura whilst the tent laughed. 

Tony paused before he dropped a hand to Pepper’s shoulder where she sat to his right and grinned. “Well there’s a fifty-fifty chance it’ll be the one I’m in a relationship with. No offence, Widow, but you’re not my type.”

Natasha flipped him off as the tent laughed, and all raised their glasses, before a wicked glint flashed in Tony’s eyes and he turned to his left, looking at Katie where she sat at the head of the table.

“Kiddo.” He smirked “I don’t know where to start.”

“Then don’t.” “Oh I’m gonna…” He winked “For the last Thirty-One years you’ve been a monumental pain in my ass. From making me fight monsters under your bed with the vacuum cleaner to your Vegan Goth phase and that damned Turkey that you insisted we keep.” He looked at her fondly as he grinned. “And we won’t even mention the amount of times I was called into School because you’d sassed a teacher, or when you refused point blank to fly home from University on a normal jet, or the time you wrapped your BMW round a lamppost and blamed the road for being too bendy. But, for the record, there isn’t a day that I’d change any of it. Watching you flourish into the beautiful, brave, kind young woman sat in front of me has, and always will be, my greatest achievement. Everything that life has put in front of you, you’ve taken and more. And I’ll always be proud of you.”

He took a deep breath as Steve’s hand curled round Katie’s under the table.

“And as for the groom, well, there’s not much to say about Spangles really. When I first met him, thought he was a Star Spangled asshole. Now I know him, think he’s just a normal asshole.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Thanks Tony.” he quipped as the he guests laughed. But as his brother-in-law locked eyes with him, the two of them smiled.

“How I found out about you two was less than desirable.” He raised his eyebrows and they both let out a groan “For those of you that don’t know I walked in on them, in the kitchen, and interrupted something, and I won’t lie, I wasn’t overly enamoured about the idea but you fast proved me wrong and, well, here we are.” Tony swallowed and looked at Steve. “For the record, Cap,  I’m glad she has someone like you to look after her, care for her and cherish her but just so you know…” he raised his two fingers to his eyes and then moved them towards Steve, the same I’m watching you gesture as he had given him in his apartment over two years ago. Steve snorted into his glass which was once more full of Asgardian ale and Katie simply shook her head.

“In all seriousness, Rogers and I had a nice long talk last night about what it means to be a family. To love and be loved. To feel like you do and will forever belong with a certain person. And he told me that’s what he felt about Katie. That he does and will forever belong with her.”  Tony looked around the room with a flourish before he turned to look at the newly-weds. “And I know I speak for everyone here when I say, we are so lucky – and happy – that we’re all part of this weird-ass family. Even with Rhodey here.”

Rhodey flipped him off from where he sat across the tent and the guests laughed once more

“So if you’ll please all raise your glasses.” Tony picked his up, as everyone stood their glasses raised. “Steve and Katie, Cap and Kiddo, and our friends, family, be they with us or not.”

The murmurs of the echoed toast died down being replaced applause and whoops as Tony took a short bow, before he rounded the table and Katie stood up to hug him kissing his cheek. 

“Love you.” She grinned, and Tony beamed back at her before he returned to his seat. 

At that point Steve stood up to a load of cheers and he held his hand up.

“Yeah, not sure how I can follow that.” He smiled, “Thanks for those kind words Tony.” He cleared his throat. “You know, looking around the place, seeing everyone here to help us celebrate has brought it home to me how lucky I actually am. When I came out of the ice, I thought I’d lost everything, my entire life, everyone I knew. But I fast came to realise that whilst that may have been true once, what I’ve gained since is irreplaceable.” He glanced down at Katie before he looked back around. “When Katie walked into that gym which was only a few blocks away from where we got married today, we shared a ten minute conversation. By the end of those ten minutes I’d already realised how sassy, sarcastic and loyal she was, and dare I say it, damned gorgeous too”

Katie shook her head as titters rose around the tent.

“But then I got to know her. And she became my best friend, still is, and frankly now I think she’s the most amazing human being on the planet. I could continue to wax lyrical about you Doll, but I won’t. I said everything I had to say to you in the church, but there is one thing I wanted to add. You said that I make you strong, but it’s really you who does that to me. I’m only strong because you’re by my side. You make me want to be a better person and I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of waking up in the morning by your side, simply being able to call you mine.” He took a deep breath, blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall as he looked down at the table, then back to her. “From that first date I knew we had something special and everything we’ve been through in the past two and a bit years, we’ve made it through because we’ve been together. So if I could ask you all to raise your glasses in the direction of my gorgeous, amazing wife.” He stopped, dropped his head and shook it, chuckling. “Man I’ll never get tired of saying that…” He looked back up, a huge grin on his face and Katie laughed, wiping her eyes “Mrs Rogers.”

He sat down and Katie leaned over to give him a soft kiss, smiling as her hand gently traced down his cheek. More cheers and Steve grinned against her mouth, his cheeks flushing slightly as he pressed his forehead to hers.

And then Sam got up.

“Yeah, saved the best till last I know.” He said as everyone giggled “I’ll keep mine short and sweet as we all know there’s a party to get started. I first met Cap when he was running. Well, I say running, it was more like tearing up the ground. Kept lapping me like a crazy mother, nearly killed me trying to keep up.” He grinned and Katie and Steve both laughed. “I haven’t known him for very long all things considered, so being asked to be best man was a privilege, so thank you brother. It means a lot.” He nodded to Steve who raised his glass in his direction. “Now, being friends with Captain America is probably the same as what being friends with Steve Rogers is like, from what I can gather. He’s a great guy, with a fully functioning moral compass, only there’s the added complication that you’ll have a building dropped on your head, get shot at and generally be whipped into a whole heap of trouble, and that was only within the first three days we’d met.” Sam quipped as the tent laughed and Steve shook his head. “But the thing is, when Captain America knocks on your door and needs your help, you gotta follow, even if it means your life expectancy is probably gonna halve.  Mind you, my chances of getting laid have more than doubled so I think they cancel one another out.” At that Steve groaned and dropped his head into his hands as the tent erupted into laughter. “But in all my life I’ve never met two people more suited for each other. You’re like peanut butter and jelly, mac and cheese, Simon and Garfunkel, can’t have one without the other.” Sam smirked “So, without further ado, charge your glasses one final time, to the new Mr and Mrs Rogers.”

Everyone did so and Sam drained his glass, clapping his hands together. “Now how about we get this party started?”

****

A few hours later as the sun was dipping behind the trees and several bottles of champagne, Asgardian beer and a fair few measures of whiskey had been drunk, Steve led his wife to the dance floor for their first dance. Surrounded by their friends and family he gently pulled her into his arms as the first bars of their song rang out from the speakers.

I’ve been searching all my life I used to be so color blind You opened up my eyes Do you wanna share your dreams See a different side of me You’re everything I need He pulled her closer, his hand curling round the small of her back, his other tightly clasped around hers as they gently swayed to the music, foreheads pressed together, smiles stuck firmly to their faces.

I like it when you think out loud Things you say when you know There is no one else around I can dig my own graves now But will you smile every time I try to crawl my way out

His left hand dropped from the small of her back and he took a step away, spinning her out into a twirl as the chorus struck up, drawing cheers from the circle of people around the dance floor.

There is no one like you I live in a world of black and white And you are the only one in color There is no one like you Into mystery I slide I want you to keep it all uncovered You are the only one in color

Katie smiled as he pulled her back to him, his face beaming and, as was tradition, they were joined on the floor by a few other couples, Tony and Pepper, Clint and Laura, Thor and Jane amongst them. Wanda and Natasha were dancing together too, in a joking, friendly way, which made Katie’s smile grow even larger.

You know how to set that mood You can light up any room Just by the way you move The only one who understands What I’ve given you you’ve given back Come on and take my hand

The music continued and, as the chorus struck up again Steve span her out once more, making her laugh and this time he pulled her back in so her back pressed against his chest. Wrapping both arms tightly around her middle he pressed a soft kiss to her neck, breathing her in deeply. Katie laughed, her hands coming to rest over his own, thumb stroking the new addition to his ring finger.

You turned an old world upside down A wave of calm when I was so tightly wound And so full of doubt I’ll never tell you that two’s a crowd I know I can’t get through without Ever needing you around

Steve knew everyone was watching, probably taking pictures or video along with the official photographer, but he didn’t care. Extending his arm above her head, he took hers with him and gently spun her to face him. His right hand slid up to cup her face and as he leaned close to capture her lips. Katie’s hand slid up to tangle in the back of his hair before she pulled away slowly and he let out a soft moan as his forehead dropped to hers.

"Mrs Rogers.” He whispered in her ear.

“Yeah?” “Nothing, I just wanted to say it.”

*******

“Garter off. No hands Rogers!” Nat yelled over the music as Katie sat in a chair on the dance floor. “That’s the rules.”

“Well we all know I’m a stickler for rules.” Steve grinned, discarding his jacket and tie to a few whoops and a loud whistle from his bride, he tossed them over a chair as the men in the party gathered around, the women standing a bit behind, Pepper explaining what was going onto Wanda.

Steve strolled casually past them, hands in his pockets, his eyes locked on Katie’s as she arched an eyebrow in an almost challenging manner. This was the point where he would normally flush red but he hadn’t got a shred of embarrassment about his nature thanks to the Asgardian alcohol which once more coursed through his veins. He gave her a grin as he dropped to his knees and then, with a devious wink, dove under her skirt. Katie giggled and covered her face with her hands whilst the outline of Steve’s broad shoulders could just be made out moving up her legs. But only she could feel his breath on her thighs. He grinned and pressed a soft but hot kiss to the very top of her thigh and it took everything in her not to jump or show any outward indication of his actions, but she did bite her lip when his teeth nipped down her thigh until he caught the lace of the blue garter that he himself had given to her the day before, then dragged it down her leg.

There were more whistles and cheers when he emerged from beneath her skirt with the garter in his mouth, a loud groan coming from Tony, before Steve took it in his hands, stood up and fired it towards the men. Sam was the catcher, hastily dropping it from one hand to the other until he finally snatched it, and looked around, winking at Natasha.

“What about it Red?” He grinned at her “Fancy a bit of Sammy-lovin’?”

“In your dreams birdbrain” she drawled, as everyone cackled.

**** All too soon their day came to an end, but Steve had one final surprise for Katie. She had been fully expecting to go back to their room at the compound but Steve simply shook his head and led her over to a waiting car which was parked on the expansive gravel driveway.

“We are not spending our wedding night at home, Kitten.” He said simply when she asked where they were going. The car drove them out of Brooklyn and into Manhattan as they drank more champagne, finally pulling up outside The Mark, where they were greeted by a red carpet and applause from staff.

Between the alcohol and being drunk on happiness, they were tripping over each other by the time they made it to the bridal suite. Steve opened the door into the huge room, and the pair of them stumbled forward. Laughing, Steve curled an arm round her.

“Hang on.” With a flourish he bent down and scooped her up, carrying her into the room and she giggled as he stepped forward, kicking the door shut behind them before dropping her to her feet. She spun round and grabbed a fist full of his shirt, just below his open collar button, bringing him down to kiss her, hard as they backed across the suite into the bedroom where Steve spun her round and carefully, delicately popped the buttons down her back, his fingers brushing her skin as her dress fell open and dropped, pooling at her feet, leaving her in nothing but a pair of white, lace French knickers

He leaned in and pressed soft kisses to the crook of her neck, nuzzling into her hair, as she reached up to remove the various clips, freeing her brunette tresses.

“God you’re beautiful.” He whispered as she spun to face him, eyes shining as she started to undo his shirt.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” she smirked as her hands gently undid the buttons on his shirt, her eyes never leaving his.

And then it was a race to get out of their remaining clothes before they both collapsed on the bed. Steve took his time, kissing down his wife’s body, running his fingers down her ribs before his hands gently parted her legs. His nose skimmed below her bellybutton before he moved downwards, nipping at her inner thigh before he set his mouth to her.

Katie groaned and all but melted into the bed letting him have and play with her all he wanted. Her first orgasm hit her hard in a ridiculously short amount of time and, leaving her breathless, he kissed all the way back up her body before he settled his hips against hers. He was rock hard and aching for her, and she shivered as he pressed up against where she needed him most.

He took her left hand in his, his thumb skating over her rings and placed a soft kiss over them before interlocking their fingers and pressing her hand down on the pillow next to her head.

“I love you so much, Mrs Rogers.” He mumbled leaning down and running his nose alongside hers.

“I love you too Captain Rogers.” She responded, holding eye contact with him as he slowly slid inside her, letting out a moan as she lay back and he kissed her again, deeply, passionately, slowly rocking into her. Katie rolled her hips up taking him deeper, moans flowing freely between the pair as he slowly built up his rhythm, releasing her hand so that he could grasp onto her hips. Katie’s arms wrapped around his shoulders pulling him in close and she buried her fingers into his hair.

“Faster.” She moaned, wrenching her mouth from his so she could breath and he didn’t hesitate to oblige. After a few more thrusts he slid his hand under her lower back and lifted her slightly, face buried in her neck, nipping, making her gasp and shudder as he hit her spot with every thrust of his hips until she was moaning and writhing and muttering nonsense.

Whether it was the passion of the day or the fact that it was just different because they were now married, for Steve it felt the most intense love they had ever made. It was the perfect way to finish off an amazing day and when they both fell apart completely immersed in one another, cries of names and curses tumbling from lips, Katie happily welcomed his weight on top of her as he caught his breath whilst she peppered soft kisses against his sweaty forehead before their noses gently rubbed against one another. Both of them remained, trembling in the afterglow and it took a while but finally Steve gathered enough strength to roll himself to the side where Katie immediately curled up into his side, her head on his chest.

“Was it everything you hoped for?” He asked, and she hummed blissfully as he carded his fingers through her hair

“And more.” she whispered softly.” And wanna know the best bit?” “What?” She moved so she could look up at him, her face soft as she gave him the most intimate and incredible smile he had ever seen on her face as she answered “We have the rest of our lives ahead.”

**** Chapter 27

**Original Posting**

I disagree that it’s comparable to how SU treated Bismuth. Bismuth wanted to kill one of the Diamonds murdering and oppressing everyone. Jet wanted to kill innocent civilians. He had a chance to change when he entered Ba Sing Se, but he became fixated on exposing Zuko and Iroh - from his perspective, working class refugees who he only hated when he realized they were fire benders.

so... here’s the thing. 

let’s talk about how “extremists” in media are often framed.

for one thing, they’re usually not really... “real”? they’re demonized. they give you easy versions of extremism, where they’re so cartoonishly evil you don’t have to confront their ideologies on any deeper level. in jet’s case, you just give him someone it’s Obviously Bad to Kill, problem solved, right?

not really. you’ve still condemned “the violent ones” as being “like jet”. Extremism Bad Because It Means Child Murder :( this is the same problem as in the hunger games, in which gale is also seen as going “too far” in this very facile, pathos-stripped way that it’s easy to condemn. both are still saying that violence, or at least that kind of violence, are bad, they just take it to the obvious extreme to get the audience on their side.

SU doesn’t take shortcuts like that. they give bismuth AND rose realistic motivations. that’s what i mean by saying bismuth is treated as more “real” and with pathos. your heart breaks for her. she’s treated like a perspective you UNDERSTAND. you get why she thinks the way she does - because from her perspective, there’s no reason to ever think a diamond could change. from her perspective, the CGs were working class. nobody truly “changed” so much as they “stood up”. that’s why she’s both worth listening to and considering the pros/cons within that universe. at no point does she strangle toddlers so the kiddos at home will know she’s a Bad Guy. it’s more complicated than that.

it might be implied bismuth would’ve killed more than just the diamonds - she speaks of homeworld gems “in their way” in the general sense, and we see her hit lapis from the back - but that’s a might. it asks the audience to fill in the blanks of how far they think bismuth would’ve gone. it’s not “the poor children :(”, it’s how far YOU, from the information you’ve gathered from her mindset, thinks she would actually go.

i think part of the controversy here is, indeed, because SU doens’t take that shortcut to tell you bismuth is obviously evil. she’s not. the narrative never treats her like “one-dimensionally” bad. her perspective makes sense, and steven doesn’t really have a strong answer for why they shouldn’t do things her way. heck, he admits as much in s5 - in s3, he was mostly hanging on to the divine image of rose given to him, in which she embodied what a CG “should” be.

the narrative itself gives you a few reasons in s3, but only if you pay very close attention - for one thing, lapis and jasper would likely both be dead. bismuth was an implied part of lapis’ trauma and the raid that started jasper’s life. peridots might’ve been killed, considering they’re kindergarteners. if you think that’s a worthy sacrifice, then you’re asked to think whether these characters, who you may very well personally relate to, deserve to be killed for doing their essentially god-designated job (from birth!), and being but small parts of a larger machine... which ALL gems were, at one point. including the crystal gems.

(also by killing the diamonds, the homeworld gems will hate you. that’s why steven couldn’t help jasper in “earthlings”. they will despise you rather than love you, because they are literally programmed to love their diamonds. you’ll give them the kind of collective trauma where they’re much more likely to turn against you than join you).

another thing - bismuth thinks they could’ve won, but... could they? how much of that is the desperate hope of someone who doesn’t want to consider other options? we don’t know that either. the crystal gems are but a small fraction of what they used to be. bismuth can pep people up, to the point where they emotionally identify with her cause (and become, like bismuth herself, entirely lacking in self-criticalness about that), but she can’t make them realistically confront their own numbers, or the obvious advantage of talking to people who are many more than you... 

which is why later, bismuth is strategically willing to accept that. she’s not entirely unreasonable. she cares about the end goal more than she cares about being as violent as possible. she wants steven to use his privilege when the time comes, because that’s what will help the most people. even if it hurts him.

that’s the mark of a true ideologue - being able to put your preferred method aside when the moment calls for it. anyone who thinks they’re ideologues or committed to a cause, but aren’t willing to put their means aside when it’s beneficial *FOR THAT CAUSE* are not ideologues. they’re just in it for the guns.

all in all though, the “big” thing that decides between steven and bismuth’s perspectives isn’t really what either of them say in s3. it’s in s5: the fact that ROSE, their leader, was pink diamond. this makes it very, very hard to other your enemies as these soulless monsters to defeat. you are your enemies. that’s what makes bismuth face that she can’t distance herself from either homeworld or gemkind - she’s been putting someone on a pedestal all along, she just wanted the “right one” to idolize on top. that’s what she has to face.

also, it is ROSE who built up pink diamond as the ultimate enemy to kill. time and again, rose does not understand the consequences of demonizing herself or distancing herself from people... then again, bismuth doesn’t give her much reason to - bismuth starts out thinking there are “good” gems and “bad” gems, and the only backstory rose thinks bismuth would buy is one in which she always knew the right thing to do. which nobody is born knowing.

there’s also a bunch of little things i could bring up, such as how the diamonds aren’t just killers or oppressors. they are, in equal parts, creators. they made gems “in their image”, seeking purpose and light. that’s what makes them a decent parallel to “petty gods” (and abusive parents) more than anything else. they create all of gemkind. they project outwards, through their “children”, in such a way that they feel entitled to give everyone purpose. they, themselves, were made with purpose - and had to find themselves outside of it. rose never internalized that she could truly change, but she did. time and again. but people still suffered for it. time and again. 

even now, it’s an open question whether rose did the right thing in putting bismuth away (even if you understand why both acted the way they did!)... but rose is gone now. and bismuth is still here. she can still live the liberated life she always wanted, with her friends by her side.

so yeah, i’ll take that over “jet started out okay but he’s Actually Really A Meanie Mean Who Must Die To Show Extremists Are Bad”. 

Forgiveness (SUF fanfic)

Word Count: ~5.4k

Summary: The weight of Steven’s ‘accident’ begins to weigh on the gems after his corruption is dealt with... and there is time to be mad and to forgive.

Characters: Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaren, Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet, Jasper

Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, Individual dealing with emotional problems, Coping

Read on AO3

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Pearl wraps her arms around her middle, fingers clutching into her thin frame. “I just… How? Why? I still… Can’t believe it.”

She shakes her head into the tension. Connie, Garnet and Amethyst are in the living room as well, sharing her emotions.

Steven was staying with Greg in the van while he was still cooling down from his ‘meltdown’. On the morning of the next day, the diamonds and Spinel felt safe enough to leave, and everything else settled into it’s place. 

And yet, some questions remain unanswered. 

Pearl shakes her head again. “Is it selfish of me? I mean… Rose never… Did anything like this. Not even as Pink, I spoke to Volly, even as a diamond she never… and he...” She sighs, tired, closing her eyes. “We should be there for him right now. I should be there for him, but… how?”

Garnet, still processing silently, places her hand on Pearl’s shoulder to steady her. Pearl gives her a small, but grateful smile.

Amethyst shrugs, clutching her knees to her chest with her arms wrapped around them, staring into one of the wood walls.

Connie speaks up, carefully. “I’m sure it’s… it wasn’t that bad. He said it was an accident, right?” 

Pearl nods a little, and Connie goes on. “Well, come on. This is Steven we’re talking about.” 

Connie’s gears are turning as she tries to figure something out, think of some way to fit this information into the world in a way that makes sense.

“If he jumped over a river to show off to her, and Jasper decided to one-up him by jumping off a cliff and getting herself hurt, he’d still say it was entirely his fault, you know?”

Connie’s voice tries to be perhaps a little too humorous for the situation, trying to ease the tension, but the other gems don’t seem to mind that. Pearl nods a little again, but Amethyst looks ready to growl at anyone who came close to her. Garnet remains stiff.

Pearl tries to partially unwrap herself from her own arms. “You’re… you’re right, maybe we’re all just… spinning this into something worse than it really is. He did say it was an accident.”

Her voice is only a tad calmer, but she tries desperately to sound casual. Connie tries to smile, never good at the fake smiles, and goes on.

“Yeah, yeah! It was just an accident. That’s what he said, and he’s just, blaming himself for everything again.”

Everything falls quiet again for a few moments. That sounds nice. That, however, still doesn’t quite cover all of his reactions, all of his breakdown that they saw, the crazed, darting eyes while he spat out everything he’d done. 

There was something more, and they knew. It was nice to hold on to that hope, but if Jasper really had just done something stupid, he wouldn’t have reacted that way. It wouldn’t have broken him that much.

“Or,” Connie speaks up into the quiet again, feeling doubt creeping into the air, knowing that the gems felt more like they were lying to themselves if they tried to believe just that. “Or he tried to show something to her, and… missed?” She pauses, then quickly adds, “he’s not very proficient in precise strikes. He probably didn’t want to hurt her, just, show off or something?”

Connie doesn’t quite believe herself. But the thought that Steven would shatter someone, while wanting to hurt them... it didn’t fit. That’s not the Steven they know, that’s not something he would do. They trust him more than that. He never wants to hurt anyone.

And yet, another unspoken problem was what he said about White Diamond. The way he said it. Connie still shivers thinking of it, of the motion he made with his hands to demonstrate, like he’d done it before, like he knew exactly what he was doing. Like he’d been thinking about it, in that intense, late-night overthinking way until you know every detail, until you’re just a tiny step away from executing it.

Connie feels the pressure on her shoulders. She’s supposed to look after his human side. She’s supposed to be the one who knew him the best, who knew what he needed and how to help him. Of course they still love him. Of course they’ll still take care of him.

That fact could fully co-exist with the desire to know exactly what happened, with the thought that maybe, they had a right to know. This shed a different light on him, one way or another.

---

“You…” Connie starts, voice more confused and uncertain than anything else “you killed her.” 

He cringes a little. “I didn’t mean to! I just wanted…”, he pauses, breathes out in defeat that there is no way this is going to sound any less bad than it already does, “to win.”

Deafening silence hangs between them, before Connie’s soft whisper carries into the breeze. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” He closes his eyes. No. He does know. “To prove I’m… not weak.”

He knows how that sounds, knows that he has no possible explanation that could soothen any of this. The deeper they dug, the worse it got.

“To whom?”

“I don’t know!” Frustration seeps into his voice, making him stop and breathe for a moment before continuing. “To her. But also… to me.”

“You’re not weak.” She murmurs, looking over him.

He lets out a small, dry laugh, like one would have to a sarcastic joke. 

Suddenly she sits up. “You’re not weak! You’re really, really strong. Steven, you’re literally half diamond!”

He doesn’t look over to her, just keeps staring at the sky. “Does me a lot of good, doesn’t it? I cry over dropping my lunch.”

“That’s not weakness.” She says firmly, looking down at him.

He jerks up as well now, annoyed. “It’s not? Really? Standing alone in the middle of nowhere crying over a mistake I made, that just proves how little I actually amount to on my own?”

Connie goes on in a similar tone. “Never crying isn’t strength! Strength is being patient and fair to others, and you are. You are because you know how bad it can feel to not have that!”

He shakes his head, letting a thought he usually keeps to himself spill out. “I’m just a pushover.”

“You’re not. You can fight!”

“Connie, what’s the point in being able to fight if I can’t hurt a fly!”

She goes quiet, looking out to the ocean. “But you can.” She ignores the twinge of guilt she feels at what she’s about to say. “And you did.”

He goes quiet, staring down at his own hands.

Connie lays her palm on his knee carefully. “Strength isn’t being able to hurt people. You know that. Nobody thinks you’re weak.”

“Jasper did.”

“And you proved her wrong. And now she thinks you’re strong.”

He looks up, unsure where she’s going with this.

“Does it feel better? Now that you proved it?”

He stares back down at his hands, clenches them to fists. His voice is suddenly barely audible, tension making it come out breathless, pressed out with a deep kinda of anger, frustration.

“Why are you so sure the answer is no?”

Connie frowns, only growing more worried. She pulls her hand back, an uncertainty spreading through her.

He releases his hands but doesn’t lift his gaze. “You think I’m some kind of perfect star child, don’t you? Like I would die to do the right thing in a heartbeat, and not even feel bad about it!” He lifts his gaze, gesturing, a mixture of pained humor and anger. “Like it would be my wish to break myself to pieces for everyone and then be happy about it!”

Connie goes quiet for a while before speaking up again, her hand going over the grass between them. “So how does it feel?”

His posture relaxes a little in defeat. “Not as horrible as it should.”

He finishes, he expects her to be angry, to be mad, to tell him he’s not the person she thought he was, or that he’s grown colder, or lost his heart, but she doesn’t.

“But how does it?”

He keeps his voice flat, too loud to be soft. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because… because I know you.” Something akin to hurt seeps into her voice, quiet and unsure. “Because we’ve always told eachother everything.”

He looks at her, hopeful eyes looking up at his in search for the truth. He feels something in his chest melt when her voice sounds like she’s close to crying, not over what he’s done but over the fact that he won’t tell her.

His shoulders relax and his face softens, and he feels the need to take her hands in his and soothe her and wish he wouldn’t be causing her this much hurt.

“I’m not… sure?” His voice is softer now, gentler, even if he doesn’t know what to say.

Finally he gives in to the feeling, deciding if she doesn’t want it she can just pull away. So he takes her hand off the grass softly and wraps both his soft, smooth hands around hers, her skin tougher, rougher from the sword fighting and sports and hard work, his protected always by his shield, his magic.

She moves her other hand to the bundle as well, and Steven’s hands hold both of them as if he’s holding the most important thing in the world, as if a wrong move could scare her away or hurt her.

Steven starts, talking softer now. “I don’t know if there’s… anything I can say to make this right. I don’t think there’s anything there to make it right at all. So I don’t understand why you’re still here.”

He presses his hands together over hers gently, emotion filling his chest. “I want to- I mean, it’s hard. The truth. But if you want to know, then… I want to tell you. But it’s not pretty.” Then, like a realization, as if it’s something new, “I’m… not perfect.”.

“Of course you’re not perfect.” She turns her hands, holding him back but still comforted by the feeling of their heavy warmth around hers. “People… make mistakes. Of course you’re determined by which ones you make and don’t make. But you’re also determined in how you deal with them.”

He wants to be honest, so he pushes the feeling out of his chest and to his throat. “It was something I could have avoided,” he murmurs, “but I didn’t. I… I don’t have good reasons for why it happened, I was pent up, and angry, and curious.” He looks up at her again. “Isn’t that horrible? Curious what my powers would do to her? Tell me.” He presses their hands together a bit more. “Tell me that it’s horrible. I know it is.”

“Steven...” Connie has to collect her thoughts, weigh them. She shouldn’t excuse what happened. But the person cradling her hands already knows that.

“What happened isn’t good, but… you’re willing to make up for it, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am! But I can’t always fix everything. We were lucky to have the diamonds on our side. If this had happened sooner, then...” He shakes his head. “This is bad. The fact that I can… lose myself like that.” He takes a deep breath. “But it was still me. I think that’s… hardest to grasp.”

“You were powered up though, right?”

“Yeah, but… powering up doesn’t make me someone else. It’s still me. I can still hold back. That’s the worst part.” Pushing the words out hurts, makes him want to curl up and hide and wait for it all to cool down instead, but he can’t. He wants to be honest. If anybody deserves to know, it’s Connie. “I chose to...” He gulps down the rest of the sentence, unable to bring it over his tongue.

She lets out a small sigh. “I know.”

They sit in silence, hands still wrapped, the roar of the ocean waves accompanying them.

Steven’s thoughts run in circles, over and over, until he finally speaks up again. “Connie?”

“Hm?”

“Do you… still like me?”

She smiles. “Of course I still like you.”

“But I’m dangerous. I hurt someone. Badly.”

“You also brought peace to the galaxy, and your family consists mostly of people who are dangerous and have hurt others.” Her more cheerful tone fades as she goes on. “Don’t get me wrong, this is… new. I mean, you didn’t change the moment it happened, I think we just… found out something new about you, that came to light because life changes around you. Because you’ve been changing gradually, for a long time.”

He sits quietly as she continues.

“And I don’t mean to say that this is you, or something that you do now! Or that you changed for the worse. I think growing up the way you did, and all these new powers… you were left directionless, more so than any of us thought you were. I had no idea Jasper and you could end up this toxic. And you can still change. It’s your choice to never let it get that way again, but...”

“But what?”

“But not becoming that way again means changing.”

“Of course. I just have to avoid Jasper, and avoid using my powers-”

“No.” Her firm tone cuts him off. “That’s exactly what you were doing before. That’s not changing, that’s reusing your old strategy.”

“But then how do I-?”

“It happened, because you felt weak. So maybe you can work on feeling strong, in a way that doesn’t base itself on hurting others. I’m sure the gems can help with that.”

“I don’t know if they can.”

Connie finally gets her hands out of the warm wrap and intertwines hers with his. “They can support you, and I can support you. But the changing part will have to be your choice, and will involve you working for that goal. You don’t want what happened with Jasper to happen again, do you?”

“Well, no, but…”

“But?”

“But nothing has made me feel better other than what I did with Jasper in… in months! Maybe years.”

“There’s other things that will make you feel better. Like talking about it. We can help you find something, but only if you work on it too.” She grows a bit more stern. “And continue therapy.”

He looks up from their hands, and Connie goes on. “You don’t have to sacrifice feeling better for moral rightness. You just need to find something else to feel good with. Healing is hard. But at the end, you’ll hopefully feel better, even better than you did when fighting. Much better.”

His voice is nothing more than a gentle, hopeful breath. “You think so?”

“Mhm.”

They sit quietly before Steven speaks up again. “Thanks, Connie.”

She looks up to him even though he’s looking away.

“I think just this helped already.”

---

Pearl stands silent and relaxed in the midst of her room. With a precise pose, a collection of shields she once kept for Rose rise to the surface.

She opens her eyes, cold white fingertips going over the rough and rusted metal. She sees her own reflection, ice blue eyes staring back at her.

Calculated, is what new gems of the rebellion would call her. Certainly they believed Rose to be in charge and struggled to understand Pearl wasn’t just an accessory for their leader, but once they saw her in battle, that changed. She made sure of it. She proved herself, to every single one.

Unlike everyone else, she knew Rose. Knew Pink. She could have never shattered gems of her own court, of the other diamond’s courts. Pearl thought she understood at the time, because they were to return once Earth was free.

She remembered Rose’s silent musing long after they’d met Garnet, remembers the day she came up to Pearl and told her all gems are precious. Of course they were, Pearl knew that. No, she said, it’s different. How could it be different? Each gem had a purpose, so they were precious in their own way, like metal rings of a chain. 

Jasper came so close to poofing Rose. Pearl knew what she had to do. She fought, she dodged, she cried and yelled and screamed and reformed so fast it was painful, knowing Rose’s form was trembeling behind her. She could not last long.

She remembered how distant Pink had been to Jasper. Yellow’s favorite, but not Pink’s. Pearl could figure why. Of all gems, she thought at the time, Jasper least resembeled her in every way. 

She didn’t seem good in her court. She was rough. She’d caused the fall of many rebelling gems, caused many of Rose’s tears, and Pearl lived to fight and hate her, for the pain she put Rose through, for the pain she forced Pearl through.

It was in her luck that Rose managed to catch her off guard while the quartz was getting increasingly annoyed at taking so long to defeat a pearl. Poofed, and Pearl thought, finally. They both collapsed.

Pearl rose first and moved quickly. She was doing Rose a favor, after all. Preventing her tears, her sadness, and with that lighting up her own world in color. And yet Rose stopped her, and despite all her efforts, it took Pearl a human lifespan to fully understand why.

Even now she doubts whether her strength at the time could have been enough to break a gem. Would Rose have asked it at the time, though, she knew her form would have somehow learned to adjust, for her, no matter how.

She never asked such a thing. She was proud of Pearl’s increasing strength, certainly, but that could not match the way her face light up, brighter than the core of this galaxy, when she found out Pearl had learned how to bubble.

She valued each gem. She never once slipped, never once got destructive. 

But after how many tries?

At least once she exploded and hurt Pink Pearl. How many other times? Pearl never saw her shatter anyone, but as a new diamond building her court, could she have avoided it even if she wanted to? Even then, she burst to life into a world that expected such cruelty of her, with no way to understand what is cruel and what isn’t. 

In the end, Pearl still found it a bit of a miracle, how a diamond with such power and status - even dissatisfied with her superiors - would make such a step, such a conclusion.

Pearl was there, and at the same time she wasn’t, watching Rose contemplate from afar as she strolled through forests and over beaches or watched the stars and clouds for nights and days.

How many times did Rose try and fail? Wasn’t she still learning even after the rebellion, when she had to learn respect beyond curiosity and play, beyond the world she knew, beyond every habit ever taught to her?

Pearl breathes out, adjusting, and the shields sink back into the water, deep into the temple. The water rushes quietly and evenly, a soft song humming along to Pearl’s graceful movements and steps.

A weight in her gem settled and seemed to roll off of her like raindroplets, following the shields down into the darkness. 

She stops, and stands firmly. Rose did things her way, with her own practice, and Pearl never would have even begun to imagine abandoning her for mistakes, for accidents. She’s older now, different, no longer as blindly loyal. 

But with that age and new understanding, she’s only all the more sure that Steven needs her to be there for him right now.

---

Amethyst kicks a metal plate hard. It gives a resistant clank and lays still. She lets out a loud graon, continuing to stomp through her room.

She kicks a solid rock, watching it break apart with a dull pain in her foot, and it only makes her madder. Fists on the dusty ground and loud yells and screams fill the room. 

Amethyst turns over to lay on her back, stubbornly staring upwards. She breathes.

With every breath, the silence seemed to pressure her more and more. She rolls over.

She sighs, giving up, laying flat on the ground. Who is she to say anything, really? To bother? Why does it matter?

Why? Why did they never notice, why did they never even think about this? Why is she so focused on this? Why does she feel fucking sorry for that cruel quartz?

She sighs again, grumbeling. She remembers the first day of uncorruption, where for just a moment it felt like she could imagine what Jasper felt. Sure, she’s the worst, and turned out to leave off there and head straight into that forest. She’s mean, with no semblance of change. She doesn’t even try, and here she is, screaming into her empty room just so the others don’t see her break down.

Jasper decided to leave. She decided to ignore the whole thing and pull back, isolate herself so she could break alone. Amethyst groans again. It all feels too complicated, too tangled and hard to understand. She sees herself in Jasper. She hates Jasper.

Connie told her Jasper egged him into it, kept pushing, kept pulling and encouraging without second thought. And that only makes it worse, because she knows what that’s like: Pushing Steven out of his comfort zone, finally, from the quiet kind kid to someone people listen to, because if anyone should get to to what they want for once, it should be Steven, right?

There’s no way Jasper feels anything but some desperate aggression at her life, right? She wanted him to give it his all so badly, and any rational explanations make Amethyst feel bad. Make her feel uncomfortably similar to the orange gem. The desperate attempts. The fighting, the pushing.

She knows, distantly, that she’ll lay here and let things suck until she eventually crawls back outside. She looks over the piles of trash, having decreased with time. It’s been a while since she last tossed herself to the ground like that.

She stands up to her full, short stature, not bothering to dust herself off. Steven is strong, isn’t he? She knew that. She walks up to a pile of semi-organized metal scrap. He’s stronger than her. Which isn’t a surprise in of itself, but having seen it now, her insides seem to sink. He didn’t get his aggression from her, did he?

She kicks one of the metal pieces, and the pile bulges before falling back down. She picks something up, just to hold it, to accupy her hands. She lifts it up, and with a start, tries to snap it over her knee. 

The alien metal bends unsatisfyingly, and leaves Ametyhst panting and with her gem regenerating some of her knee. She lets the scrap fall back to the floor.

He’s not a kid anymore, either. 

The thought of Steven hurting someone always felt so ridiculous. She’d push him, tease him for being too caring or tell him to try harder. Hell, they both fought, and he survived all that while barely even trying. And while trying to make her feel better. 

And she never even noticed how he changed, did she?

Since when could he have been pushed to do that? To really, really hurt someone?

She groans again. It’s all so much. It’s all so complicated. Sure, she can deal with it in time, but that doesn’t make any of this any less stupid.

Change. He changed. She kicks another piece of scrap, sending it flying. 

If she sits on her thoughts any longer, she’ll never come out, so she heads for the temple door. 

Her fault or not, he was there when she changed, even for the worse. For every horrid reformation or desperate fight. She looks glumly at the door, and it opens.

At least she can imagine what he’s going through, even if she doesn’t know what to do.

---

Garnet meditates.

Dozens of blue paths glow blue in the darkness. Millions of spectral droplets drip down from the platform she hovers above. With every single one, a fiery burst illuminates her. She sits unmoving.

A large, pearly waterdroplet rolls off the platform, and the flames briefly lick over the blue paths, threatening to disrupt them. She focuses, the flames die down.

The round glass platform hovers beneath her idly.

Another droplet falls, the flames rise, and the platform cracks. 

Garnet grits her teeth, clenches her fists. It’s all going fine. Breathe. She breathes. Crack.

Just breathe, she thinks, Steven is just- Crack. 

Just the mere thought causes her to stir. A voice tells her that she isn’t dealing with the problem at all. 

Garnet tenses, trembeling while a droplet begins to roll down her face. When it lands on the platform, it shatters, pieces scattering in the darkness.

She twists out of her meditative position, fire rising to meet her so she can stand. It whirls around, obscuring her vision, obscuring her thoughts. She punches into the flames, but that only sends her off-balance, falling.

She lands on her feet just barely, steadying herself. She takes off her visor and stands, staring at the blue landscape set in red flames, the break between adorned with purple-pink flowers. There is no wind. It all stands eerily still.

Pink butterflies swirl around the bushes and abstract shapes.

At the end, the landscape fades into pitch black. She doesn’t know. She looks down. She doesn’t know anymore.

A butterfly lands on her shoulder. She was wrong, again. Of course she saw into the future, thought she finally understood him to at least give an estimate. There were so many ways. This was not one of them, and now she has no idea what lies beyond.

Her fists clench again, shoulders rising as the butterfly leaves. Breathe. Another swishes by, ethereal wings brushing past her arm.

She failed. Her fists clench tighter, shoulders higher, hunching over. He hurt someone, he’s terrified, he turned into a monster, and she wasn’t there for him. 

The butterfly swirls, contemplating whether to return or not. Garnet stops, freezes, and releases a breath. Her shoulders sink down, and she watches the butterfly leave and fade into the blue.

It’s okay. Just a butterfly. Just a thought. 

Another approaches her from the back, finding place between her shoulderblades. She remembers the terror she felt, standing before Blue Diamond, loyal devotion and blindness suddenly twisted into betrayal. A Diamond. A Diamond that wanted her shattered, a Diamond she had belonged to so dearly, even if she hates the thought now.

Glowing wings pass by her vision. She believed Diamonds existed to shatter for so long. Bismuth proved her wrong. Rose proved her wrong. Steven proved her… wrong.

Her arms go around herself as she closes her eyes shut. Rose let wonder, love, light grow in a place of devouring fear. Little did Garnet know at the time, she let it grow from the same place the fear came from.

And then she trusted them. Knelt down, blindly, with everything to fear and nothing to prove. She held out her hand, and Garnet took it. 

Without a second thought, without a single question, with nothing but a sad smile and those soft hands. She always thought Rose took her in and held her tight, but no. She let Garnet go, to do as she would, and trusted her with every secret, every move, every fight.

Garnet breathes out, and three butterflies swirl off and into the darkness. She opens her eyes, watches them leave. She blinks. They’re pretty. She smiles to herself.

Rose believed in her. Rose believed in change. Rose believed in a lot of things, really.

And Garnet?, she asks herself, a question from both her halves. She opens her palms to see her gems side by side.

Garnet believes in change. She believes in letting others grow. She believes in Steven.

She closes her hands, and the butterflies pass her by peacefully.

---

The sun is setting, coating the world in dusty hues of orange and red. Long shadows stretch over the forest ground, the trees mere black silhouettes against the paling sky. Last stretches of clouds seem to hurry home.

Steven stops near his destination. He carefully pulls some leaves aside to see the gem in question. The red stripes and messy hair make her blend into her surroundings well, coated with warm, fading light and rounded by harsh shadows.

She turns to him with sharp, attentive eyes, eyeing him. Steven opens his mouth, then closes it again. She turns to him fully, leaning against a nearby rock. 

She crosses her arms over her chest. He long told her to drop the salute, and that he can’t possibly be what she wants him to be. Something wants to tell him she’s probably more mad about the salute than about what happened, but he suspects that’s also exactly what she wants him to believe.

He sticks his hands in the pockets of his jacket and clears his throat.

“Jasper, I’m sorry.”

She huffs. “For what.”

“For being out of control. For using all of my power-”

She cuts him off. “For what? Doing what you were made for? Being who you are? No.”

“This isn’t about that! I hurt you.”

“Because you were doing what you were made for.”

He sighs. They’re going in circles already. “Look, I came here to say I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for coming here, and then bothering you, and then not knowing better and-”

He’s cut off by the sound of a fist smashing a rock to bits as he has to shield his face.

“Jasper, let me finish-”

“You.” She walks up to him, pointing a finger into his chest. “Are apologizing. For the wrong. Things! I don’t want you to come here and apologize for, I don’t know, existing!”

“I’m not!”

She groans. “You can’t apologize for having powers! That’s dumb!”

He’s about to toss an annoyed retort, but he stops himself. Think, Steven. Getting mad isn’t going to make this any better. You can’t apologize for having powers. For existing.

He groans and looks up to her in defeat. “I guess you have a point… But I’m sorry for-”

“No.”

“But-”

“NO!”

He goes quiet, crossing his arms in front of his chest himself now. Jasper turns back to her rocks, but keeps talking. “Is your memory faulty? Did you like, forget everything we did? Everything I did?”

“But you were trying to help. And having powers and being out of control doesn’t excuse what I did.”

“Fine. Listen here. You really wanna apologize for, I don’t know, doing what I told you to?”

“Well, yes? I should have been thinking with my own head, too. And I’m sorry for not using my senses, either.”

He finishes, and they both stand in silent. Jasper gives an annoyed exhale and then sits down on the ground with a thud. She looks at him, groans, looks away, crosses her arms again.

“Fine. Then I’m… ergh, I’m sorry for making you, do that.”

Steven looks at her with a bit of surprise, but she quickly gets up and straightens herself as if nothing happened. “Good. Now we’re even. Don’t force me to do it again.”

She squints at him. “And stop smiling like that.”

He can’t help a small laugh. “Okay, okay! Well, this went, better than I thought it would.”

“Hrm.” Jasper kicks one of the rocks to the side, starting to mind her own business. He stands there, unsure whether to leave or not, until she turns to him again.

“What.”

Steven looks over into the forest. “I was thinking… Would you mind if I dropped by again, maybe? I mean, it would go better than before, of course, I don’t want to pressure or anything and-”

“Yeah.”

He stops his rant, breathing out. This did go a lot better than he thought it would.

He turned to the woods, the sounds of Jasper working away following him the first few steps. It’s almost night, the sky a pale, gray blue and the trees mostly mingled dark shapes. He still has some apologies to say to the Crystal Gems. Well, he already has, but he feels they should at least be something firm. Like a favor, or something to eat, or a gift. Something.

You can’t apologize for existing.

Who knew Jasper could give out decent advice sometimes, too.

Jambudweek 2: Lion (Connverse Crossover verse)

Key: Mister: Steven (Fighting flirty) Heart Berry (HB): Connie (Fighting flirty) Witchy: Connie ( Witchanddemon) Dapper: Steven (Witchanddemon

Lion (Connverse Crossover verse)

It's been about ten days since the event happened.

  LHW R&D finally crossed the line and began to experiment with the idea of alternative universes or maybe they always have been doing so, and finally decided to field test a true attempt at moving across dimensions, via Universal warp pads.

  They look like your average warp pads, but their stream looks more like the bifrost from that superhero movie.

  Regardless, they kind of succeeded. They didn't travel to another universe or an 'AU', They brought people from one to theirs, and as if fate decided to play a joke on them all, the accidental sliders happened to be two very familiar faces, just younger than usual. 

  Everyone was shocked and bewildered, when 21-year-old diamond hybrid; Steven Quartz Universe  and 20-year-old part time college student, and member LHW R&D; Connie Yasha Maheswaran met experienced demon hunters, 16-year-old demon familiar, Steven Diamond Universe and 15-year-old witch and Steven's contractor, Connie Maheswaran.

  Moving the two into Connie's little Homeworld residence was easy enough, but they quickly found out that the witch/demon pair was a bit more impulsive, A bit more guarded, a bit more outwardly hardened, a bit more...Independent, than themselves,  than they should be. Which really, no one could blame them given the situation and well their lifestyle. Still, they showed that they are as kind, warm and open-hearted as their adult counterparts. 

  It was a shock for the demon and witch pair as well.

Magic and beings that seemed familiar but not. People who were long passed or just not around for one reason or the next, were now there in person, treating them with the same love and affection as their counterparts.  

  It was especially emotional for 'Dapper', a name for the younger Steven coined by the older Connie. Partly because of his clothing style, partly to tease her own Steven; and 'Witchy' a playful nickname from the older Steven to the younger Connie; met  the Maheswarans and Greg.

   A night of tears that was for all involved.

  It took a bit for everyone to get settled into the fact that there was a second, younger jambud pair in their universe, no matter how temporary the stay would be. Except for Mister and Heartberry, the older jambuds; who seemed to take the fact that they now each had a younger 'sibling' in a strange stride. 

  "They're not clones and they have not tried to kill us." No one could argue with their logic.

  All in all the younger two was able to find a groove within this new world, and soon found themselves settling in, getting used to everything and everyone.

  Until this evening …

  The two pairs were resting at Connie's LHW residence watching old under the knife reruns and exchanging information about their worlds. Deepening their siblings like bond and such, when Mister asked a simple question.

  "So, what's your Lion like?"

  "What?" The witch and demon paired retorted. "What do you mean?"  Witchy added questionably.

  "Lion? Big cotton candy fluff ball of a cat." HB joked.

  "It's just me and my lady at home. We're out too much to care for a pet." Dapper stated as he wrapped an arm around Witchy's shoulder, who despite blushing, didn't remove it.

  "It's kind of hard to call Lion a pet." Mister chuckled. "He's more like a partner or adopted rebellious teenage son."

  "So what, he's an outside cat who just stops by every once in a blue?' 

  "Maybe for Mister, here." HB snickered her counterpart question, before squealing at the playfully nuzzling retaliation from her Steven. She tapped his chest to get him to stop, causing the two demon hunters to shake their head at the duo.

  HB cleared her throat before answering. "For me, he's more obedient," She grinned cheekily "and Mister is jealous of that fact." 

  "See how she's messing with me." Mister pinched HB hip, getting a peep out of her and pointed stare out of her. 

  "She is telling the truth though about him being more obedient."

  "You two wanna meet him?" 

  The demon and witch pair shrugged before nodding. They saw no reason why they wouldn't. It was just a cat, right?

  The older pair looked at each other before HB stood up and stepping through the front door. Putting her left index and thumb in her mouth she whistled towards the setting sun.

  "He's coming." Mister reassured the two, who looked a bi smug.

  "Ah there you go! My fluffy boy, Daddy and mommy got someone for you to meet.."

  Witchy bit back a snicker at the sweet talk as Dapper looked on teasingly smug towards Mister, who said nothing, but looked on in knowing indifference. 

  That soon turned to cheeky glee as he watched  the younger Dapper take Witchy in his arms protectively and leap behind the couch, as HB walked in with Lion in toll.

  "That a Lion! A real live honest to god lion!" Witchy exclaimed as the demon hunting duo looked at their older counterparts as if they lost their mind as they playfully scratched and rubbed the pink jungle king, who just mewled in appreciation of the attention.

  "Yes and he's such a good boy. yes he is." HB swooned as Lion nuzzled his snout against her chin. 

  "Still gotta work on his  parking though." Mister joked as Lion nudged his head against the gem hybrids own, growling gently, before licking his chin, getting chuckles out of him. " Ok, ok you've gotten better."

  HB turned to the two with a smirk. "Come on over here. He won't hurt you."

  Dapper shook his head, unconvinced.  "You're kidding..right?" 

  "Why would we? He wouldn't hurt…." HB had to pause for a second. " Actually,he would hurt someone, badly...If they were a threat to Steven or me and by proxy, you two."

  "Yeah,he's a battle cat for sure." Mister praised rubbing Lion's belly 

  "My trusted stee, yes he is." HB followed, getting pleasurable yips from the big cat.

  Dapper was still unsure, when Witchy climbed out his grasp, and walked cautiously towards the three. 

  The older jambuds got out of the way and stood back as Lion stood up looking at the younger version  of his mistress, seeing the uncertainty in her eyes. He moved his snout closer to her, smelling the heavy, yet oh so familiar scent. 

  When he was done with his assessment of the younger mistress, Lion stared for a few moments...Before nuzzling his snout against her jaw, giving it a gentle lick and resting his head on her shoulder.

  The response was instant!

  "Oh! I love you! Such a sweet boy!" Witchy announced as she hugged the beast around his neck kissing it on its skull.

  "I know, right!" HB exclaimed as she joined in giving the big cat attention.

  "Kind of figured this was gonna happen." Mister stated with a smile towards Dapper who still looked unsure as if he was trying to figure out something.

  "He's dead." 

  Dapper heard in his ear before turning to Mister, astonishment on his face. 

  "I don't know when or how, but Lion died and was resurrected by my mother. It's why he's pink and can do all he can do."  Mister stated cooly, arms crossed as he and his counterparts watched the girls and Lion play together a smile on his face.

  "What can he do?"

  "Alot." 

  The demon elbowed the diamond, chuckling slightly. "Cryptic doesn't fit you at all, Big Bro."

  Mister ruffled his younger 'brothers' hair "Yeah, yeah." He scoffed a laugh  watching him slick his hair back. "Seriously, you want to know what Lion can do. He'll show you."

  Dapper arched an eyebrow at that statement as Mister walked up to  his Connie, whispering in her ear. She nodded with a smile before standing up. 

  "You know, it's a nice evening. You guys should take Lion out for a bit of a...Adventure. " 

  At the sound of an adventure, the pink beast climbed to its feet, almost excitedly. HB gave the beast  a kiss under its jaw, before whispering in his ear. Lion turned to HB giving her an affectionate rub with his skull before bending down in front of Witchy.

  "Ummm?" 

  "Go ahead. Get on. " HB assured her 'sister'.

  Witchy didn't need any more coaxing as she climbed on the beast back.

  "Whoa." She giggled as Lion stood to his full height. feeling a bit of vertigo over how tall he was. She turned to her partner with a smile. "What are you waiting for, you dapper demon? Get on."

  "Listen to your lady." The flirty fighters sang before he could say anything in refusal.  

  Dapper just shook his head conceding. With a gentle hop he landed upon the beast wrapping his arms around his lady. 

  "So what, gonna take us around the town big cat?" Dapper teased, getting an almost offended look from Lion.

  HB chuckled knowingly as she opened the door. " Something like that."

  "Wait..gotta check on Lars." Mister said before giving HB a quick peck on her cheek. He turned to Lion, who dipped his head low towards his master.  "You two have fun." 

  The two younger jambuds jaw dropped when they saw the older Steven disappear into the mane of the beast, completely.

  "Wait, what the hell just happened?" Dapper yelled as Lion roared towards the door creating a portal right outside the house. "What...What?!"

  "Show them a good time Lion, but don't keep them out too late."  HB laughed as the jungle cat ran towards the portal. The last thing she heard before it closed was Dappers screaming  and Witchy excitement filled laughter.

  With a sigh HB sat down on her couch only to hear a text come to her phone. She turned to her messaging  app, reading the new text. Quickly she hopped off the couch, grabbed her sword and ran out the door, heading to R&D.

Sorry, long rant incoming that's also partly a meta, I kinda started with the first paragraph and just went off the rails. Tw for discussion of mental illness and trauma, mentions of abuse, and just negativity in general:

(Also, I don't mean to come off as policing about the kind of content people create, I'm not an authority figure or anything, but I just had to let out my personal feelings about this ig)

Anybody else kinda peeved by how much 'edgy' Steven fan content there is now after SUF? And I say edgy because it's like... content that's him being violent or overly clingy or straight up abusive in a way that's kinda like, 'mad' or 'crazy', the way mentally ill people are often stereotyped to be, all 'scary' or 'creepy', and it's just... it just makes me think about how people view mentally ill teens, cause so much of that is so OOC.

Like, yeah, he has violent outbursts, he gets triggered and has abandonment issues and intrusive thoughts, he's a huge mess and made lots of mistakes, but besides Jasper of course, he never actually really... directly hurt anyone??

He didn't act clingy and try to talk Connie into marrying him when she said no, he readily accepted and did his best to not dump his baggage on her, he didn't hurt anyone beyond scaring them when his emotions bubbled and his powers came out as shock waves or domes or walls, and even when he was a kaiju, his focus wasn't on rampaging or anything, he was mostly flailing around and smashing his head into cliffs and only going on the defensive and attacking anything when given targets that could hurt him. His worst moments, like Mr Universe, Fragments and the scene with White Diamond, they were his absolute rock bottom, and even then he wasn't acting out against just anyone in an abusive manner.

In Mr Universe, he had just come to the realisation that his childhood was actually messed up and that his guardians have failed to protect him, he's trying to find reasons behind it all, find whom to blame for this anguish, grieving over a good and normal childhood he realised he never really got to have. And even as he crashed the van, Greg didn't actually get hurt during it, he was perfectly fine. If anything, it was Steven who got hurt during that, because he had blacked out and Greg was panicking when he came to consciousness.

In Fragments, he had just lost his trust in all of the people he thought were a part of his support network. He had none of that left. So, as Rebecca herself has said, he went out to Jasper, because her thoughts on him matched his own at the moment. He was essentially seeking out a kinship for his self loathing, looking for someone who wouldn't try to tell him that he was appreciated or a good person or that, to get better, he should just open up and let people help him. He didn't want to look into his emotional state, his vulnerabilities anymore, because every time he did so, his powers came out and caused damage. No, first and foremost, he thought he had to control that power.

And he thought that he was finally doing that. For the first time, he felt like he was in a safe space to let it all out, with an equal who he couldn't hurt, but, as he found, that wasn't true. Jasper wasn't his equal, like the days of her kicking him and berating him, forcing him to confront his insecurities until he proved her wrong, taught him. She wasn't invincible like she said, and he wasn't in control like he thought. Because all he was doing was avoiding the problem and treating it like a surface level issue of him being too weak and inexpierenced to properly control his anger. But it's way deeper than that. And Steven realised that, too, but in a completely wrong way. He came to the conclusion that he was even more horrible than he could have ever imagined. That he was on par with the Diamonds now. That he actually was a diamond, and bore all the same baggage that came with that identity.

So he went to that side of his family. He looked into every way he could find to fix himself, all the while becoming frustrated at how even the Diamonds, who used to be the absolute evil of the whole universe, were doing better than him, where better people than him. And none of it worked. And so came the White Diamond scene, where all his worst fears and emotions came together in the form of intrusive thoughts, triggered by his most traumatic memory. He felt unfairness at how much he was dealt, he felt hatred towards how messed up was his family, at how messed up he was, how he was a diamond, a shatterer, dangerous, at how he could take the reigns, be in control, and hurt and kill people. He feared and hated himself. So so much. And that's why White Diamond never got hurt, and never was a part of this battle between Steven and himself, because this was him coming to finally face all the pain surrounding him, how awful he was, how he was, in his eyes, no better than anyone who had ever hurt him. And so, in the end, he ultimately hurt himself.

There is a big difference between a hurt kid lashing out at their parent, or someone traumatised seeking out ways to take control over someone who had and could hurt them, or someone dissasociating and getting intrusive thoughts in response to coming face to face with someone who had dealt them trauma, and a person who's letting their negativity and anger out on and hurting innocent people who just happened to be in their vicinity.

Like, mostly, I just find it messed up how there's so much content of Steven being angry towards Connie, lashing out at her, or being controlling or manipulative, when he has Never Once Been Like That. He's very careful around her. He doesn't force her into anything. When he's feeling overwhelmed around Connie, he distances himself, hides, puts walls between them. Just like he puts actual walls between him and the CGs when hurting, runs away, because he doesn't want to hurt any of them, and to think that he would ignore boundaries or let Connie become a target of his frustration is ludicrous. And it becomes even more ludicrous when what follows that kind of theoretical situation is Connie comforting him after he hurt her, and that being portrayed as a sweet or cute or romantic thing.

Just.... I guess what I'm trying to say is, I wish that some people would have been more careful with how they portrayed Steven, as a mentally ill teen, and the relationships he has with his loved ones. That some people would be more careful with the mental illness portrayal in general, reexamined if maybe they're falling into harmful stereotypes and views in general. If they're being uneducated about how meds work, or if they're calling Steven 'crazy' or 'evil', and then expecting or portraying him to be so, if they're romanticising things that they shouldn't, or misunderstanding abuse. I just...

I guess it just sucks. This series is such a good way to introduce conversation about these topics, to learn about them and learn to better understand them. But I probably should have expected that it wouldn't turn out that easy with this fandom.

would it matter at all? (Spinel X Reader)

Funny how these feelings of depression just hit you so suddenly eh? One minute you’re fine and the next the tears are coming and you’re trying to keep them back and just pretend like you’re okay for others? Yeah... it’s that kinda night for me... I wish I had my own Spinel... I understand her pain...

So I wrote this when I should have been doing something more productive but I had to just do this. I had to write for this lovely gem that I’ve grown to adore and would die for.

Warning: Some intrusive thoughts and implied suicidal thoughts as well so reader discretion is advised.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82hLvgGuDu8

If I wasn't here tomorrow would anybody care If my time was up I'd wanna know You were happy I was there

The past exists just to hurt the present person you are today. That’s how you always saw it at least.

There was one person who understood that the most though, and that was the new gem that had come into your life. At first you didn’t trust her, she tried to kill your friends, including one of your best friends Steven. And yet, you were amazed that the sweet boy was able to get her to stop what she was doing through a series of mishaps and helping the gems rediscover themselves, for better or worse.

You helped him the entire time, and reflected on your own life before you met Steven. Unlike Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet, you didn’t enjoy rediscovering the person you became today, because you still didn’t like yourself.

Beach City was a good place, but the place you came from before this wasn’t. It felt like you were the only person in the world because you knew you were different from everyone, and they made sure to remind you of it everyday. You felt worthless, rejected and cast out from the others and you actually believed that maybe you deserved it, maybe you shouldn’t have even been here.

At times you started to wonder, would it even matter if you disappeared? Would anything you did from here on out matter at all?

You wondered that, at least until the gem, Spinel was her name, had showed the person she used to be. A sweet, lovely little gem that you found extremely endearing every time she tried to play with you. She actually made you smile as you would giggle and blush whenever she got so close and playfully poked you to try and play a game with you. How could such a murderous clown be such a little sweetheart?

That’s what made you really wonder, but then you got your answers when she started to remember and reveal her backstory, her time in the garden after Pink Diamond… just left her there. For all those millenia, the poor gem stood there, alone and waiting for the person she thought was her friend…

Your heart broke for her, you wept for her as she reformed back to the same, maniacal gem that tried to kill you and Steven. Except she wasn’t just a maniacal gem, she was a broken, self-loathing individual that you saw yourself a lot in. She didn’t deserve what Pink did to her, and you knew that she hated the person she became, you knew that because you hated the person you became too after people hurt you…

But you didn’t want to fight her anymore, you wanted to reach out to her when Steven failed to get through to her for a moment.

“I know what it’s like! I understand what you’ve been through!” You exclaimed after she decided that no, she didn’t want to hurt Steven anymore. She looked up, eyes wide but her expression still had disbelief on it as her eyes narrowed into a scowl.

“How could you know? How could know anything like that?! You’re just some stupid human! Worse than even this loser…” She was skeptical, and you understood why, because you didn’t know who else could understand the feeling of being abandoned.

A sardonic chuckle left your lips, “You’re right… I AM a stupid human…” You almost weren’t offended by her insult though, nor were you deterred by the hateful look in her eyes. “I understand… because I used to be a happier person… I used to smile all the time and I can’t even remember why… but when I got older… I stopped… people just… didn’t want to be around me… I knew they didn’t… they looked at me like I was some kind of weirdo… and they just left… I was all by myself for a really long time…” Tears sprung to your eyes as you recollected the way you dramatically changed from a happy child to a moody young adult as Steven glanced at you sympathetically. He knew your story all too well, and honestly you thought that if it wasn’t for him, you’d probably be somewhere else… not with him or the gems and Connie and Greg…

The pink gem’s glare gradually softened into a mix of shock and confusion, her eyes widening slightly when she heard your words telling a story that were making her feel some type of way that she didn’t understand. All she could understand, was the pain in your voice and your eyes as you wiped the tears away even as they fell.

“I know your pain Spinel… I really do… I mean… 10 years is nothing compared to 5000 years but… I understand… what it’s like to feel… unwanted and… abandoned…” You mumbled with your eyes downcast as Spinel seemed to rethink more on what she really wanted to do after listening to you and Steven…

No. She didn’t want to destroy this planet anymore…

And you couldn’t lie, you were relieved when she and Steven were able to make the injector stop from destroying the planet. Maybe you didn’t want to die today, not when you had friends like Steven, Connie, Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet and Greg still around. You’d live for their sakes…

Yet, you couldn’t get Spinel out of your mind even as she went along with the Diamonds. Your [E/C] eyes welled with tears when she joined the Diamonds when they decided to take her in and you rushed over next to Steven when they shared a good bye peace sign.

If I wasn't here tomorrow would anyone lose sleep If I wasn't hard and hollow Then maybe you would miss me

 “Spinel!” You refused to cry, but you couldn’t help as you sniffled and waved your arm out to wave. “Take care! Come back whenever okay?! I want to… be your friend when you decide to come back!!” As tears dripped down your cheeks you made yourself grin as you waved vigorously to the stunned gem.

Her pink eyes going wide as a soft gasp left her, focusing entirely on you as you turned smaller and smaller from where she was at. A small blush sporting onto her streaked cheeks as she looked at you, and you were smiling at her. The human who could understand what she had felt…

You wanted to be her friend…?

She couldn’t even find the words as all she could do was stare and watch you wave with a broken smile and misty eyes with the tears down your cheeks. Spinel didn’t even realize the tears in her own eyes as she picked up her hand to wave back at you, still looking surprised and confused…

Why would you want to be her friend even after all of that…?

TWO WEEKS LATER

Although it had been a while since the entire incident that nearly ended in the world ending and you started to think that you probably should have been surprised that you survived yet another semi-apocalypse. But after the gems invading several times you remembered that had learned to get used to the world almost ending. Except unlike all of those other times, you couldn’t stop thinking about that gem. She wasn’t like the other gems, not even Lapis, a gem you had considered a dear friend.

Spinel was different. From the moment you saw what had happened to her, something tugged at your heart and made you realize that she wasn’t the only person who felt so rejected and discarded from people you just wanted to be with. You lied in your bed under your covers, remembering the way the pink gem would giggle and smile at you before she reformed back to the person she was today. Her innocence reminded you so much of who you used to be, and it was almost too painful to think about…

To have that childhood happiness shattered by the cruelty from another person, and to become a bitter, almost hateful person because of that pain being too much to bear. It fucking hurt…

You hurt just thinking about what kind of pain Spinel must have endured just waiting in that garden for someone who was never going to come back. What if she never got that message and just stood there forever? God you didn’t want to think about it…

You almost wished she was here so you could hug her and tell her that she didn’t deserve that, and that she deserved to be happy. But at the same time, you thought you were kidding yourself. Why would Spinel remember you? You weren’t anything special, she said so herself, you were just a stupid human.

Hell, you were lucky that Steven was kind enough to give you the time of day. Why would Spinel do the same?

Sighing and wiping your eyes you tried to go to sleep, but then you gasped aloud when you thought you heard something outside. Your parents were home, but they slept so deeply you were certain that not even an earthquake would wake them up. Then again, even if they did wake up, it’s not like you couldn’t handle yourself.

Well, you couldn’t really handle yourself well, but you didn’t care about yourself. At this point nothing mattered about you at all. And you told yourself that almost every day.

So you peered out your window to see if it was maybe just the wind, but your eyes went wide when you saw her…

Spinel, standing outside in your backyard with Steven accompanying her and pointing up when he had seen you. Wide eyes met as you gasped quietly. She looked just as shocked as you did, but she perked up when she saw your visage leave, “W-Where’d she go…?” She asked Steven almost nervously as he chuckled.

“Don’t worry she’s coming down.” He could tell you were excited, because he was very observant when it came to people. And he knew that Spinel had been on your mind the whole time, so he was more than happy to lead Spinel to your house when she came for a visit and asked about ‘the human with the [H/C] hair and [E/C] eyes’.

And her worries were put to rest when she saw you open that door, clad in just your (F/C) pajamas with a big smile on your face. “Spinel!” You exclaimed rather quietly, running over to her as her eyes widened slowly in shock at how close you were getting before you stopped right in front of her.

She looked a bit defensive, as if she wasn’t certain how to react to your excitement to see her. The diamonds treated her well and were in fact very good to her, but it’s been a long time since she’s seen that kind of joy directed at her. In fact, usually that’s what she had done in the past to… her…

“Hi… you’re that human.” Spinel remembered you, which secretly surprised you. “(Y/N) right?” She asked to clarify, and heat rose on your cheeks when she said your name for the first time. “Uh huh… that’s me.” An awkward smile came to your lips, something Spinel couldn’t help but mimic since she felt just as awkward as you did.

Something Steven immediately picked up with a small grin, “I’ll just leave you two be for the time being okay? I hope you’re having a good night (Y/N).” He knew when to leave two people alone and you perked up, feeling rather terrible that you forgot that Steven was there. “O-Oh! Thank you… s-sorry Steven…” You apologized to him sheepishly but he wasn’t offended in the slightest.

“It’s no problem! Spinel wanted to see you again, and I was happy to help.” He said cheerfully as he waved to the two of you, not subtly winking at Spinel as she was taken aback slightly at this gesture. And you blushed a little bit harder at such a thought, she wanted to see you again?

“You wanted to see me again?” You were so shocked you didn’t even realize what you had asked, and Spinel’s eyes widened even more as a flustered expression overcame her features. “W-Well uh… I… yeah… yeah I suppose…”

She felt strange. She hadn’t really felt this curious about anyone, not even Pink Diamond. She knew Pink Diamond, and she knew that she was her playmate, and other gems were just fun to play with too because they were all neat looking. You were different. You weren’t a gem, you were a human being and yet your feelings weren’t that different from the feelings gems could feel.

And your feelings apparently weren’t that different from Spinel’s own feelings. Which is what really made her curious.

“Let’s… sit on my bench… it’s… more comfortable.” You couldn’t get rid of the corny smile on your lips as you gave her the offer, “Oh… thanks…” She couldn’t turn it down though as you lead her to your bench, allowing the two of you to sit down.

It was uncomfortably silent for at least 5 minutes, but you didn’t know what to say. Which was ironic because she’s all you could think about for the past couple of weeks. Why the hell couldn’t you say anything now?! Come on (Y/N)!

“So… um…” You started off, badly though. It wasn’t even a damn sentence…

“So…” And you were sure your uncomfortable energy was rubbing off on Spinel since she couldn’t quite muster up a sentence herself.

No. You couldn’t be an idiot. You sucked it up, exhaled and then cleared your throat a little bit. “I’m… glad to see you again.” Finally, you said something that actually made sense and was an actual sentence. “You are?” But this confused Spinel, since she knew she didn’t make the best first impression by trying to hurt you and Steven.

“Yeah.” You replied simply with a smile and shrugged your shoulders. “Why?” The gem asked you somewhat bluntly though, trying not to look amused by the simplicity of your response.

“I liked you. You were… an interesting gem… and… don’t tell the other gems but you’re actually more interesting than any of them…” A little snicker left you as you covered your mouth, feeling kind of bad for putting the other gems down like that but Spinel really did interest you. This further surprised her though, her eyes wide with shock because even after all of that, how did you still like her even a little bit.

WHY did you like her?

I know I'm a mess and I wanna be someone Someone that I'd like better I can never forget, so don't remind me of it forever

“Why?” She asked bluntly again, a wry smile on her lips. “I tried to kill you. I tried to kill Steven. Tried to destroy the earth. Why do you like me?” For a minute there, she swore that you probably liked her old self better, because she remembered having a lot of fun with you before the past came back to her…

“Is it my old self that you liked?” Spinel’s tone became a little bit colder, yet the sadness was still there. “I’m flattered… but that’s not me anymore… I wish it was but… it’s not me. I haven’t even pulled myself together yet either…” She looked down, her gloved fists starting to clench as she tried to hold back the anger bubbling in her. Not at Rose, but at herself. She still hated the person she was, and she hated that you were here, telling her that you liked her.

There’s no way you could like something like her…

“Of course I liked your old self.”

She knew. She fucking knew it. God she wanted to cry and feel betrayed all over again so she could get away and not have to be hurt again, but you didn’t stop talking.

“Because you remind me of me when I was a kid.” You smiled ruefully and looked in the distance. “I smiled a lot before I started growing up. I was so happy… so eager to impress my peers. I wanted nothing more than to feel included, and feel like I was someone’s friend.” As you talked, Spinel looked at you intently as she took in all of your words and the feelings behind them. The feelings that Spinel still had lingering in her even after Pink Diamond. That’s exactly what she felt like, all she wanted was to be a friend.

“I did everything… everything I could to impress them and make them happy, even if it meant not doing what I wanted… I just… wanted that so badly.” Your smile was still there, but it was clear to the gem that you weren’t happy at all.

“And then… the older I got… the more I started to realize… I’m not what people want… I’m nothing more than an amusement at best.” However, the more you thought about the past, the more your smile started to curve into a soft frown. “And some people didn’t even like me at all… they avoided me just so they could be amongst themselves and kept me out of their picture… I didn’t realize it til later that I wasn’t anyone’s friend, I was just… nothing.”

A small, empty chuckle left you as you wiped your eyes when tears were threatening to fall as Spinel looked at you in shock, feeling more feelings that she had never felt for anyone else other than herself. She was angry, hurt and unable to believe that this happened to you, you seemed like a decent person, why did those people avoid you?

“Those… those…!” Spinel couldn’t help it, she shook her head as her fists trembled, “I… I hate that!” She exclaimed as you jumped a bit, not wanting her to wake your parents but you didn’t really want to set her off any further. “I hate it when people do that… it’s… why…? Why are they so cruel like that…?”

She asked you questions that you asked yourself everyday in your moments of solitude as you put your hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know… I ask myself that all the time and I can never find the answers.” You gave a sigh as you looked downwards. “But… I know this sounds selfish of me but… I… I couldn’t help but like you because I understood you…” You admitted, no shyness in your tone, just honesty despite how sad you were.

“I used to be happy… until life and people started to kick me… and push me aside like something that didn’t matter at all… I know… that’s probably how you felt… and I just… I hated hearing what Pink did to you… you didn’t deserve it Spinel… you’re a good gem… I don’t know why Pink had to go and hurt you like that…” Voice cracking you squeezed your shoulder as gobs of tears started to stream down your face as you shut your eyes, unable to see the tears welling in Spinel’s eyes as she tried to hold it all back.

Steven was the only other person who took pity on her, but hearing another person tell her that NO, she didn’t deserve what happened to her… was like some kind of validation that she didn’t know she needed to hear until right now this very moment.

But at the same time, it made her feel even worse when she thought about how she still hurt you and tried to bring more hurt to you when she first fought you and Steven as she cried. “But I’m NOT a good gem! I had to have deserved it! I hurt you! And Steven! You can’t tell me I didn’t deserve that! Not when I was the one who hurt you when you didn’t deserve that… or what they did to you… you didn’t deserve that at all…” She hung her head as she wept for you, and all you could do was watch her in shock as a sob hitched in your breath.

“S-Spinel…”

You were touched by her sympathy, and how she seemed to genuinely care about her feelings. No one other than Steven and Lapis have ever really cared about your feelings, but Spinel… she understood you more…

“I don’t know…” You couldn’t fight the self-deprecation though, it was a horrible trait you picked up on the older you got and realized that maybe you were avoided because there was something wrong with you.

What if I just pulled myself together Would it matter at all? What if I just tried not to remember Would it matter at all? All the chances that have passed me by Would it matter if I gave it one more try Would it matter at all?

“Maybe I deserved it too…” Spinel gasped when she heard you say that, no, no you couldn’t have believed that. “I mean… you’re great but… I’m not… I’m a loser… I sit in my room all day, watch anime for the sake of comfort, and listen to music by Lana Del Ray, My Chemical Romance and Stevie Nicks, and write bullshit stories for god’s sake… if I wasn’t here today it probably wouldn’t even matter. I might as well not even exist… who knows? Maybe I’m just better off gone because I don’t think anyone would even care… I’ve thought about it… but never could go with it…” You admitted some of your darker thoughts as your eyes started to dull with the misery you’ve carried around the past 10 years of your life and maybe even longer than that.

Of course Spinel wasn’t familiar with the concepts but all she knew is that no, she didn’t want you to disappear. “No! You can’t… You have to be here…” Her voice croaked a little bit as she grabbed your shoulders, “If you weren’t here… I wouldn’t have gotten to hear you say that I didn’t deserve what happened to me… even though I think I did… if you just disappeared or went away I would care (Y/N)! I… I would care… it matters to me! It would matter to me!” She sobbed to you and held onto your shoulders tighter as if she was trying to make sure that you were still here.

She didn’t know you well, but she wanted to. And she didn’t want you to leave. 

You had never opened up about this sorrow to anyone before though, Spinel was the first person you completely opened up to. She was the only one who knew about what you were really feeling, and you were almost relieved that she didn’t quite understand the deeper parts of what you tried to say.

However, hearing her say those words were comfort to you as you sobbed and you couldn’t help but pull her into a hug. “I’m… glad to hear that someone would…” You shakily said in between soft cries as she sniffled. “You’re… you’re not bad (Y/N)… if you think… I’m a good person… I don’t know why you do but… thank you… please… you’re really here right? If you are… I’m glad… that someone else knows what it’s like…” Spinel almost sounded shy as she admitted to this newfound happiness she couldn’t help but feel talking more about what happened to her.

“I am… and… I hope you’re here too… Spinel I really like you… I missed you… I wanted to get to know you more… so… I meant what I asked… would you like to… be my friend…?” That’s what you wanted to ask her, despite these other feelings in your stomach that were flurrying about as your cheeks turned hot.

Spinel was hugging you, stretchy arms around you tightly as she perked up at the question, and she looked up at you with surprise in those rather adorable pink eyes of hers. She was a bit hesistant and yet she felt like she could really trust you, so she gave you a little smile.

“Yes… I want to be your friend too (Y/N)…” She answered you slowly, but sincerely as she nodded up at you. (E/C) eyes widening as you beamed and you tightly hugged her again, earning a small surprised squeak from her, but she couldn’t help but hug you just as tightly. Even stretching her arms even more all around your figure like a snake almost as you gasped with wide eyes as she pulled herself away with a goofy smile.

The two of you bursting into laughter through your tears as you actually felt like there was this weight inside of you that had been slowly lifted off of you. This was the first time you felt actually happy, and the first time you’ve laughed in a long time and it was because of this sweet gem.

She did bad things yes, but she was broken too, and you understood that completely. And she understood that about you too. As the two of you pulled away, you couldn’t help but put your hand in hers as she looked up at you, a blush on her streaked cheeks as she locked her fingers with yours and smiled at you.

Warmly you blushed brightly with an equally bright smile on your face.

You knew that you truly did matter. You mattered to your friends and your family. And you mattered to her, and she mattered to you. Spinel knew this too, after everything she had been through, she finally learned that she really did matter to the new people she accepted into her life. She mattered to you, and you mattered to her too.

Both of you did, both of you mattered.

And YOU matter too. To anyone who read this, if you have any suicidal thoughts, or have had suicidal thoughts or even just need someone to talk to about intrusive thoughts or just need to talk to someone about anything don’t hesitate to call 1-800-273-6255, the Suicide Hotline.

And remember that your life is important and that your life matters. YOU matter.  

Distant Lands Ch.1

Stranded on a planet with toxic conditions and nothing but the clothes on your back, your only means of survival lies within the gem that got you here in the first place. 

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​

(First chapter note: Only the very beginning takes place similar to the events in the movie, but this is canon diversion. Spinel warps directly to earth via warp pad, there is no injector, and she has no rejuvenator.)

(A/N: This is going to be different from our last one. Spinel here hasn’t had a chance to deal with any of her emotions, and this is going to be fairly.. dubcon for a while. This is your warning. My wife and I decided we wanted to explore her character growth in.. a different type of situation.)

-

Steven gives you a high-five as you toss your sandwich wrapper in a perfect 5.0 in the garbage bin across the street. The two of you just got finished eating lunch, and you hadn't seen your favorite teen in several days since he just got back from Homeworld a few hours prior.

"Wanna go check to see if they're done installing the warp pad yet?" Steven asks, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"We've left them alone for a while, I feel like they should be done by now." You chime in with a smile.

You both meander slowly through Little Homeworld, chatting about the more recent events that you guys have been dealing with. With the Diamonds now on your guys’ side, there has been honestly TOO much to do, and you’ve been trying to lighten Steven’s load. But the kid is just too earnest, and much too hardworking for his own good.

As soon as you guys round the corner, you see Amethyst standing near Bismuth and the newly installed warp pad.

“Yo! Over here!” The purple gem motions over to the both of you, as Bismuth walks away to deal with a couple of other things. “Just got done. Looks nice yeah?” She chuckles, and ruffles Steven’s hair. “Sorry to keep my biggest fan waiting.” Steven swats her hand away, and the two of them laugh for a bit. All of you start talking about how far the place has come, and everything you guys still need to get done.

You have known Steven since you were 14 and applied to be his babysitter through a local ad. At first it was really rough, since you know, the whole gem business shtick was really not what you were expecting out of the job. But ever since Pearl accidentally threw that jungle gym at you and you dodged it perfectly, you proved to be a useful guardian for Steven, and they recruited you for gem missions on the occasion. Pearl was the one that taught you most of what you knew, her sword fighting lessons came in very handy the few times you were in life threatening situations.

Over the last 8 years you have watched one of your favorite people grow up to be the most dependable person you know today. He doesn't really need you now - but you're apart of their family, and you never planned on leaving them. You don't know what you'd ever do if you lost this kid. You'd do whatever it took to keep him safe, and alive. He worries about you constantly - you are human, after all, but honestly? You're resilient if anything, and stubborn. It'd take a lot to kill you.

"Alright! Who gets to be the first to test out the warp pad?" You're interrupted from your thoughts at the sound of Steven's voice. You look up to see Amethyst raising her hand excitedly, and her and Steven play rock paper scissors to see who goes first.

You're only vaguely paying attention to what's going on, when you get this indescribable gut feeling to flee.

The warp pad activates - none of you are touching it.

Within a split second you've grabbed Steven's arm and yanked him to the side - just as some sort of scythe hits the ground where he stood with a loud THUNK. You move to stand in front of him, and reach behind you to grab your sword.

You grasp empty air, and curse at yourself for leaving your sword at home. Of fucking course. You let out an aggravated noise, and you see a pink arm stretch over and yank the scythe out of the ground. You follow the arm until you make eye contact with the attacker, her eyes meeting yours and a wicked grin spreads across her face. 

"Are you Steven Universe?" She all but growls out the name. 

"Um, yes?" Steven pipes up behind you. 

You turn your face slightly to him, giving him a disapproving glare. He shrugs, only looking a bit sheepish. This damn kid was way too trusting, and one day it would be the end of him. But not if you can help it, and definitely not today.

“Perfect." She purrs. You realize at this point that she’s a gem, making it all the more confusing as to why she would attack Steven. 

You don't get any time to question her though, as she launches herself at you - scythe spinning wildly. You feel a rope wrap around your waist, Amethyst pulling you out of the way as the pink gem sinks her weapon into ground where you just stood. 

"Woah, too close!" Amethyst shouts, unwrapping you from her weapon. Once untangled you quickly look for a weapon of your own, eyes roaming the ground. You find a thick piece of rebar, slightly bent at the top - it could do for now. You pick it up and turn back to the magenta-haired gem. You see Steven stepping out of another swipe from her, doing a decent job dodging the attacks while you figured out a makeshift weapon.

Amethyst and you join the fray, you running right at the mysterious gem with your piece of rebar and Amethyst distracting her with a snap of her whip. You thrust the makeshift sword out just in time to block her scythe as she arches it down on the half-gem teen, scythe and rebar colliding with a sharp clang. 

You strain against her clearly superior strength as her eyes meet yours, and for the first time since she showed up it's as if she has just noticed you. Her face splits into a similar feral grin like before. 

"Well heya, toots." She pushes down harder on the scythe. "Didn't see you there." The pink gem mocks. You let out a growl as you shove her back, swinging your makeshift weapon at her. She dodges it with ease, simply stretching her body out of the way. She snaps back into place and leans on her weapon, sneering at you. She looks absolutely unhinged. "D'aw, did I make ya mad?" You ignore her jab, and you turn to face Steven briefly.

"Steven, I need you to get the other gems." You attempt to sound more confident and convincing than you actually feel.

"Y/N, I can't leave you to fight her alone!" The teen replies, clearly worried.

"She'll be fine, Steven." Amethyst stands by your side, jabbing a thumb at her chest. "She's got me." This seems enough to placate the curly haired boy. 

He turns on his heels to book it to the warp pad, and you and Amethyst turn your attention back to his assailant. 

"Oh, I don't think so." The violent gem growls. 

She makes a dash to get past you and Amethyst, gunning it for Steven. Thinking quickly, Amethyst lashes out with her whip, catching the gems torso and swinging her back towards you. You swing at her with the rebar in your hand - but like she could read your mind, she blocks it with her scythe instantly. 

"Guess I'll need to take you out first." The gem says, clearly aggravated. Her attention was now solely on you as she jumps back, preparing another onslaught.

"What's your problem with us!?" You yell out as she swings again at you, and you easily block the attack - it’s almost like she’s playing with you. The muscles in your hand are tingling uncomfortably from the vibrations of your two weapons colliding. 

The gem answers with only a cackle as she arches back, ready to strike again. This time her swing of the weapon is stopped immediately by Amethyst's whip, her rope wrapped around the handle. 

The two struggle for a moment while you swing for the pink gems midsection. The rebar makes contact with her body - but stretches with the swing, making you feel like you just got your rebar stuck in taffy. She turns her attention back to you and gives one final pull on her scythe, ripping it free from Amethyst's whip. The weapon comes at you fast and you barely manage to move out of the way as the tip of the scythe scratches down the side of your face as you move, cutting deep into your flesh. Almost instantly warm blood starts to seep down into your eye, causing you to shut it tight and limit your vision. 

“Y/N! Are you alright?” Amethyst calls from behind the pink gem, said gem now turning her attention to the purple being. 

“I’m fine!” You kind of lie as you rush at your attacker, bringing the rebar down fast. The blood in your eye is fucking with the rest of your senses.

The gem catches your weapon easily with her hand and turns to face you, a wicked smile plastered on her face. She pulls you forward and you stumble, not wanting to let go of your weapon. With her free hand she throws her scythe, the weapon spinning towards Amethyst. The purple gem barely had any time to dodge, sharp blade lodging into her stomach and her form dissipates with a gentle poof. Her gem clinks softly as it hits the ground. 

You stare at it in horror.

“AMETHYST!” You yell over the pink gems shoulder before turning your attention back to her. Her hand, now free of the weapon, begins to wrap around you as you struggle to pull the rebar from her grip. 

"Let me go you.. you.. PINK ASSHOLE!" You nearly scream rather childishly. The gem lets out a hearty laugh, before stopping abruptly and looking you right in the eyes. 

Before.. you hadn’t been afraid of her, not really. You were more concerned with making sure Steven was alive. But in this moment, you felt fear creep up on you as she began to speak.

"You know what? I think I like you." She giggles, albeit maniacally, pulling you flushed against her chest as she frees the rebar from your hands and tosses it out of reach. "You're a feisty one." 

Dread hits you like a brick to the face.

"Oh, we're gonna have so much fun." The last word is dragged out, almost hissed, as her face splits into another feral grin. 

Just as you think you're doomed you hear the warp pad activate. You struggle in the gems hold to look towards the pad as the rest of the Crystal Gems and Steven step off of it. 

The gem holding you looks over her shoulder and lets out a guttural growl. The gems and Steven take in the scene before them, Amethyst poofed and on the ground, the gem holding you, and the blood still actively pouring down your face. 

“Amethyst!” Pearl shouts, heading straight for the gem, picking her up and cradling the purple gem close to her chest.  

“Y/N!” Steven makes his way past Pearl, pulling out his shield and standing ready. “You let her go, now!” Steven demands, adding on a silent “Please?” as your captor glares at him. She turns you around in her grip, and now you’re facing Steven.

“Or what?” 

“I'll ..uh ..I'll take her back.” Steven takes another step forward, lifting up his shield. Garnet, who had calmly made her way over to the curly haired boy, places a hand on his shoulder. 

Steven looks up at her and then back at you and your captor. It takes him a moment to realize that the pink gem had you in front of her as her own personal meat shield meaning that him and the gems were powerless. 

They couldn't attack her without risking your life. The realization must of been obvious on his face because your captor gives him a knowing grin. 

“You can’t hurt me without hurtin’ your friend.” Her accent lulls out as she slams the final nail in your coffin. With no way to rescue you, Steven lowered his shield. He held out his hands in defence as he approached slowly.

"You don't have to do this." He keeps his voice low and calm. The gem sneers at the teen, huffing out a sceptical laugh. 

"You don't know nothin'." The pink gem growls, her grip on you tightening. You wheeze as she constricts against your airways. 

"Steven," You cough out, struggling to breathe "Please don't do anything rash." She smiles, leaning down so her lips barely brush your ear.

"Look at you," She purrs, her breath warm against your face. You grimace in pain, causing the gem to smile wider. “Defending your little friend.” Her grip loosens a hair as she turns her attention back to Steven. 

You look at him, your eyes pleading with him to understand your unspoken words. 

"Move." She demands. 

Steven complies, holding his hands up in defeat. The rest of the Crystal Gems stay put as your captor moves past them. 

She's heading to the warp pad and you begin to panic, fear once again invading your mind. You make an attempt to struggle out of her hold, putting the last of your energy into it. Her arms tighten unbearably so, and you feel tears forming as you gasp for air. 

The last thing you see is Steven reaching out to you, before blacking out.

SO I WATCHED THE STEVEN UNIVERSW FINALE

And since it's over, I'd like to give my final thoughts on most of the series, even Jasper now that I've seen how they ended her "arc".

I'm gonna list this in order of main characters, so this is concise.

Jasper-

I'm gonna get this out of the way now. Jasper was treated like actual shit and even I can see it. She got some redemption at the end I liked how they turned her into this trainer to help Steven deal with his anger. BUT I was hoping it would evolve and help Steven get through to her and make her open up. But instead she was shattered, turned into a Diamonds herald again, and then dismisses right at the end. I will respect Rebrccas decisions, but Jasper deserved much more then to be an emotional pin cushion for her poke into and never fix.

Garnet-

Garnet went though significant changes. She was very guarded in the begining, showing trust only between the gems really. But when she was split by Jasper she was forced to open up when Steven realized who she was. This opened the door to have her be more vulnerable, and strengthen her bond with Steven. And this went on throughout the series and I like how she was the first to initiate the hug that fixed Steven-Zilla (that's what I call him)

Amythest/Pearl-

I'm gonna lump these two together cause they kinda parallel each other, and you could fit Garnet with them you wanted to. Both Pearl and Amethyst were still caught up in the idea of Rose, and Amethyst never really knew Rose before so she always associated Rose as she was when she was born, Crystal Gem and a friend. She was also extremely immature, and I think that fed into Steven's immaturity, so she had to progressively get more adult and accept things were changing.

And Pearl was honestly a parallel of that, while also being an opposite. She did not relax, she was strict, she was secretive, and she had known Rose longest, as well as when she was still Pink. So she was caught up the most in the Gem Wars History. She had to open up the most and to learn to "live and let die" essentially. Or at least that's how I see it.

Peridot-

Peridot went through some of the most drastic changes. She was basically Spock from Star Trek, all logic and science, but more evil sociopath. But when Jasper was defeated, Peridot was left to her own devices and became a sort of Skeletor, plotting what she could do to defeat Steven and please Yellow. And it took her losing the status she wss given to figure out herself and be her own person (in her case litterally when her arms and legs were destroyed) She was able to separate herself from homeworld, and it took a long while for her to really become her own person.

Bismuth-

Bismuth wss someone I originally didnt care for at first glance. I understood her importance and wss ok with it. But when she first showed up I was fine with it. But when she was revealed to basically be a radical gem and Rose had to bubble her, I was hooked. And while her acceptance of Steven not only being Rose but also being Pink just seemed to quickly solved for me, I'll let it be.

Lapis-

Lapis is an anti hero who should not have just been accepted as fast as she was. I used to love Lapis and Lapidot, still kinda do.l, but looking at it now and what they did to Jasper as part of that, I cant ignore it. Yeah she grew as a person but it wasnt done properly. She almost killed Steven 3 times, broke Jasper emotionally with being a fusion for so long, and she never actually owned up to her faults I think. And her sudden reintroduction in the final battle of Homeworld and how she just, magically decided to be a better person felt forced. Just my own thoughts.

Diamonds-

Yellow remind me of the Dictator from the actual film Dictator , wanting to be better but treating it as face value. She is doing good but at litteral face value with changing a gems physical form. Blue to me is the same way, only trying to fix their in the moment emotional state. Honestly I think White was doing the most she could to help fix everything, since she was most at fault. She was letting herself become vulnerable to other gems to help them go through their problems and see themselves as they are, hopefully becoming better people. White in such a short time was doing more to help other gems then Yellow or blue.

Spinel-

Spinel got done dirty frankly. I love her inclusion in the end and I love her character, flaws and all, but they felt abandoned in the end. I'm assuming that Steven Universe Future takes place some months after the events of the film. MONTHS. The type of trauma and abandonment issues Spinel dealt with dont go away in sheer months, especially when it comes to 600 years worth of abandonment. And when she was with the diamonds she just seemed fine, devoid of any issues. She was hesitant to go with the Diamonds hell she openly denied Steven's immediate friendship offer and said "I need time to figure this out, and I cant do it here." I can't just accept that Spinel got through that as fast as she did, not without some underlying issues left over from her past. You cant change my mind on that sorry.

Greg-

Omg Greg my boi, I wanna give him a hug and hot chocolate. The idea he had a ruff childhood and felt he needed to leave how he did, and how his parents never actually responded to his letters, its heartbreaking and it shows why he raised Steven how he did. He had too many lmits and he wanted Steven to have none of those limits. And him being half Gem complicated it, making Greg unsure about hospitals, about traditional schools, it's why he just let the Gems take over as his "mother(s)" because he knew they could help. Of course that caused issues that cant be ignored. But it just shows you why he is the way he is. And it hurts it really does.

Everyone else-

No real comment on anyone else, Lars and Ssdie are both league's ahead of who they started as. The Off Colors are still a delight I wouldve loved more inclusion of them though, Onion and his family eh never cared much for them accept the mom cause she was awesome, no real thoughts.

Connie-

Connie is, a whole new person from who she once was. I think she, without Steven, wouldve become what Greg could've been. But Steven helped her, out of everyone, become something even better then who she was. And it even helped her parents become more open to both Steven as a person, and Connie as a growing person. I have no beef with her character development, she was done amazingly well.

And finally,

Steven -

Steven is... how should I put this, a mixed bag for me. While he most certainly grew as a person, mastered his powers and most of his responsibilities, I cannot say I like how he was treated this final season. Yes Steven Universe: Future was focused him moving on from the past, inevitable change, and learning things he never knew about before. Things felt too fast for him in that season, even if time was passing longer for him, it felt too short. His downfall from grace felt to sudden, his progression to becoming a sort of "Surogate Pink" was too jarring (still fun to watch I love the idea of it)

His training with Jasper even, yeah they played it out like he changed so fast, but THREE DAYS? In one episode? No I wouldve preferred he spend a month or so with Jasper, they show they're relationship, Jasper gets actual time to develop and become a character that we wanted her to become. Hell you could've still shattered her, and it wouldve made her becoming a diamonds herald again more heart breaking, and they could've spent time on helping her get over that mindset.

All in all, Steven's character development was fun, but left much to be desired.

All in all, while the series as a whole was enjoyable, it was by no means perfect. It had many ups, plenty of downs, and I think it's a good example what to do and what not to do when writing an growing narrative. Rebecca Sugar rushed Steven Universe: Future too fast, she left many ends open ended and unanswered, and I give the final season a 6 out of 10.

This is all personal preference so hey let me know if you disagree.

Honestly I think the thing with the diamonds and even something sometimes criticals miss is that it would be really freaking weird and be a tonal problem if we had Steven or heck even the Crystal Gems put them down like dogs. And like Steven is a kid, and I'd say it's not immature to balk at murder anyway.

Its just that the letting them wander around and still be basically worshipped and such after all they've done and be the ones not only able to fix things but the only ones able to fix certain things was... bad. That was a bad idea. 

Not to mention the fact Steven being one of them is kind of like... irritating. Like you need to be royalty to fix things. I mean they'd have straight up killed him immediately if he hadn't pink diamond's gem. Nepotism and birthright saves the day. Plus a talk back. It's very uninspiring.

I think overall it's just SU wasn't able to handle these issues and thus should have really avoided them. They wrote themselves into a corner and just couldn't handle them adequately in the first place.

Sometimes people try to compare it to atla sometimes which had Aang want to find another way but it doesn't really fit to me. The closest equivalent would be like if Zuko was the Avatar instead of Aang. (A fun Fanfic idea but an immensely unsatisfying idea for canon in comparison to what we got, to have a descendant of those responsible be the outright hero rather than a victim of it). Or if Ozai was necessary to heal the earth kingdom or bring air bending back or what have you. It's just immensely offputting. And Aang clearly doesn't consider Ozai even Zuko's real family. The big deal is that Ozai is a person in general and Aang's cultural beliefs. Not the connections Ozai might have with others or himself.

(Not to mention as the last airbender I feel Aang has additional reasons why him killing Ozai would have been tragic: which Steven does not have, not to mention energy bending itself at least came with some risks in using it itself).

When writing about estranged family finding each other you can't shackle them to a plot like the diamonds and make it work all that well. There's just so many problems to it and I feel both sides of the 'diamonds need to be put down!!' debate are missing this fact. They never could have made it work no matter what they chose honestly. Even bubbling the diamonds has weird connotations. I mean they could be popped and is eternal slumber any better than death? But then having what actually happened is just straight up terrible idea too.

Maybe if they'd been completely stripped of all their powers or all the diamonds had died or become corrupted themselves long ago maybe a different story could have been made. Like I kind of like the idea (which it seemed to be like at first) of the story perhaps being based on the aftermath of a war and how do people work through that, even in the aftermath having effects: like unexploded mines or dangers like the cluster, mental scars and the corruption itself and the desperation in finding a cure for it. Where perhaps there's a focus on revenge rather than healing which people have to work past. And maybe healing the corrupted diamonds (which the gems plus humans discover: perhaps the earth is in fact special) completely removes their domineering size and powers forever. Steven is not a diamond at all. Who knows though: I'm just spitballing ideas here. No doubt there could have been problems with that idea too. I'm just not sure how they'd make it work without lifting the atla version wholesale with some tweaks added.

But yeah i'll admit straight up putting the diamonds down on screen would have been a weird ass tonal problem but what else could have worked? What happened certainly doesn't work very well either. Mistakes were made but I think they extend beyond season 5.

Steven Universe: The Fantastic Mutants Chapter 2: Right into the Danger Room (originally posted on April 17, 2020)

AN: Kept you waiting, huh? After originally deleting the Fantastic Four from the climax of last chapter due to not giving them any dialogue, this is where I now shall introduce the First Family to the story. Well then, let's finally hop to it!

--

"Here we are Steven, the X-Men's personal training room." Pearl announced as the group exited the elevator, went through the hallways, and stepped into the famous Danger Room of the X-Men. Aside from the small control room above it housing X-Men ally Moira MacTaggert & Gold Team member Doug Ramsey aka Cypher, the area was a large white room decorated with turrets, holograms, and various other traps designed to test whoever trains in there. "So, the legendary Steven Universe in the flesh." Reed Richards announced his presence by appearing behind Steven with Susan Storm, Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm behind him. "Wait, the Fantastic Four are here too?!" Steven exclaimed. "That's right little guy. The professor and Stretch here actually wanted to test you." the Thing stated patting a big orange hand on the stretchable scientist's shoulder. "We've already heard about how you helped those Chitauri and Thanos." "Charles is already sort of familiar with you Gems thanks to your mother." Sue added with a wink. "Which version of my mom are you talking about, Rose or Pink Diamond?" Steven asked, casually bringing up his mother's true identity to the four, which incited an awkward silence. "Okay then." Johnny muttered nervously. "Why don't we just get to fighting already to get our minds off that junk?" he asked. "Very glad you asked Johnny." Reed answered just as sheepish while gazing down at the Danger Room. "Eight Crystal Gems against twenty-four mutants, Johnny and Ben. Sounds like pretty bad odds for you." "We'll find a way around that." Garnet declared as she pounded her fists together. "Now then, shall we begin?" "Gladly." Wolverine smirked and he popped out his claws and the two teams of both eight & twenty-six were lowered down into the training room. Charles, Reed and Susan remained in the control room to monitor the Gems' abilities from afar. "Let the testing begin." Xavier declared. "Heads up X-Men!" Cyclops exclaimed firing his eye beams at Garnet, who swiftly blocked them with a cross of her arms. "Joke's on you, my future vision saw that coming." the fusion smirked before she went in for the kill, punching the mutant in the face. "So what can you do little one?" Colossus asked while towering over both Peridot and Lapis. "That depends. How heavy are you with that form?" Peridot replied with a grin as she lifted the metal man into the air with her ferrokinesis. "My word, I am floating!" Piotr cried in astonishment. "C'mon Lapis!" Peridot muttered to the water Gem. "Go and make him wet! He should rust, right?" "Oh uh, I don't think I can do that right now." Lapis said nervously before slowly shuffling away, inciting curiosity from the green Gem. "That's a little odd." Peridot observed while lowering Colossus to the ground. "Yes, you say she has water powers yet has not used them at all." Piotr added. "And by the way, I do not rust." Meanwhile, Pearl and Connie were clashing their blades with Wolverine and Laura's claws. "Likin' the new sword Connie." Logan complimented. "But what the hell happened to the old one?" "Oh, funny story actually." Connie stated while parrying Laura's foot claws. "Ruby and Sapphire had this wedding that we put together after we all learned Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond in disguise only for it to be crashed by the Diamonds and Blue Diamond broke the first one. Then we went to Homeworld where Bismuth eventually came to help us with a new one she made for me." "That's certainly a lot to take in." X-23 remarked while flipping backwards to avoid Connie's attacks before she locked the claws in her hands with Pearl's spear. "Yes, everything after that did take some getting used to." the white Gem stated. "Between repairing the beach house, making a place for all the Gems we uncorrupted to live in and still sort of recovering from becoming extensions of White Diamond, it's a lot to take in."

-- "At home base is our golden boy Sammy "The Cannonball" Guthrie, as he gets ready for perhaps the biggest hit of the season!" Cannonball narrated to himself like a sports commentator while aiming himself at Bismuth, who was duking it out with both Ben and Johnny. "To say he's been preparing for this moment the entire year wouldn't be saying much, but by God he plans on making this the hit that'll change the way everyone sees his team for centuries to come!" "Hey Cannie, quit stalling!" Magma jeered as she made small talk with Nephrite. "Not even his fans will break his concentration!" Sam continued and then, he began to ignite his feet. "HERE COMES THE PITCH!" he yelled, blazing towards the blacksmith, the Torch and the Thing with rapid speed & a big grin on his face and then, knocked them all down like bowling pins. "AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!" "Sam you nino." Amara tutted to herself. "Is your relationship normally like this?" Nephrite asked the lava mutant. "Yeah, he's kinda like an annoying little brother to me." Magma replied. "So anyway, what can you do?" "Oh, you mean you want to see my weapon?" the former Centipeetle mother inquired. "Well, here g-" Before she could demonstrate, Cannonball was sent flying into a wall by a single punch from Garnet, right next to the two. "I'M OKAY!" he exclaimed. "NAILED IT!" Far from the others, Steven was backed into a corner by Blink and Warpath. "Gotta say kid, you're not too shabby." Clarice Ferguson nodded while flinging her crystal javelins at Steven's shield. "You still got a little to learn, but that's what the professor is for." "Oh yeah? Well try this!" Steven exclaimed, now turning his shield into a bubble to roll around in and raced off, knocking down Clarice and James along the way. "There is so much about Gems that we must learn." Warpath muttered. "Don't you agree Clarice?" "Hey Connie, over here!" Steven called out to his human friend. "Let's show everyone something really cool!" he offered. "Oh, you mean-" Connie began when Logan cut her off. "I'm sorry, what?" Wolverine asked as the girl raced to the bubble and high-fived each other, glowing brightly inside the sphere before it dispersed, and out of it came Stevonnie. "TA-DA!" "What the hell just happened?!" Cypher exclaimed in wonder. "Anyone else seeing this?" Moira asked the others, who were already monitoring the current events. "It seems they have merged into a singular being!" Reed analyzed through video footage of the fusion before speaking into an intercom. "Excuse me new fighter. Can you please tell everyone in the room who you are?" "We already know Richards." Garnet stated. "Meet Stevonnie, a fusion of well, Steven and Connie." she introduced the kids' fusion before they cut her off. "Let me take over Garnet." Stevonnie suggested. "In case you couldn't tell, a fusion combines multiple aspects of its fusees, like appearances for example." they explained. "And abilities too. Like so." To demonstrate, they summoned Steven's shield following by swinging Connie's sword about. "So in short, you're basically two cute kids standin' on top of each other to form a non-binary lookin' person?" the Thing remarked. "Whatta strange development!" "Fusion? Interesting." Lapis muttered to herself with her back turned to Peridot. "Uh, why would you say that Lapis? You know you've had bad experiences with fusion!" the green Gem asked. "Do you mind little one?! I'm trying to think!" the taller Gem shouted harshly, giving Peridot a fright. "Something just isn't right! Who are you?!" "We shall focus on your friend later child." Colossus stated as he picked Peridot up and walked away with her, leaving Lapis alone. "I assume you are very close?" he asked. "Indeed we are." Peridot remarked. "We've had our conflicts in the past, but overall we're very good friends or maybe something more. But still, she never called me little one before and hasn't acted like that since we were first getting to know each other." "You are correct. Something must be wrong." Piotr agreed. "I suggest we keep our heads down and see what happens." -- As for Stevonnie, they had just finished going a few rounds with both Cyclops and Jean before finding themselves getting tired out. "Okay, let's take five for a bit. I'm beat." they announced, officially splitting back into Steven and Connie. "You two work very well together." Scott remarked as he helped the kids up. "Are there any more fusions we should know about?" "Well, there's Ruby and Sapphire for example." Wolverine stated, cuing Garnet to split up into the married Gems. Ruby's headband was now a shiny orange color, she now wore brown pants and the top part of her torso was the same color. Sapphire's dress was currently covered by a light blue vest with navy lining underneath a white top with much pointier sleeves than before. "AAAWWW! Aren't you two just the cutest?!" Cannonball squealed at the sight of the two. "You're right, these funky little lesbians are just so small!" Kitty exclaimed. "Oh you're too kind." Sapphire giggled and blushed. "Anything else we should show you?" "Yeah, you got any more fusions?" Laura asked. Without any hesitation, Ruby, Sapphire & Steven merged into a new fusion that looked like a giant sun wearing sunglasses. "Sunstone is in the house baby!" Sunstone proudly announced, following up by offering everyone a high five. "How has everyone been doing lately?!" "T-this can't be real, can it?" Cyclops gasped at the friendly fusion. "Don't be so alarmed buddy." Sunstone exclaimed. "It's always nice to meet new people. But if those new people do anything to make you uncomfortable, that's NO GOOD!" "Why are you talking to the wall?" Beast asked Sunstone after they had given an important life lesson to seemingly nothing in particular. "No matter. Could you perhaps show us your abilities?" "With pleasure sir." Sunstone accepted the offer and made a pair of suction cups appear, using them to climb up the wall. "And another thing, don't forget to respect your elders!" they added. "Oh god, this new one is just like Wade." Wolverine face-palmed. "Who's Wade?" Bismuth asked, to which she was met with a terse "You don't wanna know bub!" -- Meanwhile in the mansion above, classes had finally got out and the students of the X-Men were ready to call it a day. "How come none of us have ever heard of these Gem creatures before?" Hisako Ichiki asked her friends. "Which one do you think is your favorite? I think mine's the big one with the rainbow hair." Megan Gwynn also inquired. "I find the little green one very funny." Sooraya Qadir answered. "And so cute to-" Suddenly, a loud knock came from a nearby closet. "Anyone else hear that?" Dust exclaimed. The knocking sounded again. "It's coming from over there!" The three mutant girls proceeded to investigate, opening the closet to find a blue-skinned woman tied up and gagged. "Is that one of them?" Armor shouted as she freed the girl from her restraints, and she only had one question. "Where's Peridot?" "Are you talking about the tiny one Sooraya said was her favorite?" Pixie wondered. "Last I checked, she went with our teachers to the Danger Room." Faster than the three mutants could see, Lapis zoomed off to the training room. "Please tell Peridot I find her hilarious!" Dust called after the water Gem, but her words barely reached her. -- "Okay, I do believe we've seen enough!" Xavier called to Sunstone from the viewing box. "Don't want anyone to get crushed if you fall!" "You got any pyrotechnic abilities Sunstone?!" Johnny exclaimed. "If you do, then I think we might have a little competition!" Sunstone was quick to correct the Human Torch however. "I do believe I haven't tried that out yet." they remarked, then they made the suction cups disappear from their hands and landed on the floor with extreme bravado. "Thank you, thank you very much!" "Ugh, showboat. You kinda remind me of another fireman." the Lapis Lazuli that Peridot believed might not be the one she remembers snarked. "Am I the only one who's noticing how different Lapis is?!" Peridot exclaimed. "I haven't seen you act like this since we first moved in together! What gives?" "I'm just not impressed, that's all." Lapis growled. "Something tells me we got a spy around here." Mr. Fantastic announced as he, Susan, Xavier, Moira and Doug entered the Danger Room. "Tell me Ms. Lazuli, what can you tell us about the disappearance of the ocean a while back?" "Oh well, they just vanished. That's all." Lapis answered while fidgeting with her hands. "I know a liar when I see one!" Ben growled. "And by my great aunt Petunia, you definitely look like a liar!" "That's because she is!" another Lapis exclaimed racing into the Danger Room and scowling at her double. "So, what thinks you can snatch me out of that elevator and take my place?!" she argued. "Who are you talking about? I am the real deal!" the other Lapis stated flamboyantly. "Loyal member of the Crystal Gems and this little Peridot's dearly beloved!" "Oh yeah, well which one of you likes this?" Steven declared before he began making fart noises with his mouth, causing the first Lapis to laugh and the second to smack her face in embarrassment. "What an absolute child." she groaned. "AHA!" Peridot cried. "Now we know who the real one is!" "I AM!" the pair of Lapises exclaimed in unison. "Oh please Mystique, you can use your powers better than this." Xavier tutted disdainfully. "It's almost like you're passing yourself off as incompetent to annoy us." "Of course it had to be you to expose me." the second Lapis growled as she began to change form. Unlike Gem shapeshifting, she didn't glow as her eyes turned an empty yellow, her hair was dyed red, scales appeared on her face & arms and Lapis's clothing was replaced with a white leotard that came with matching boots, gloves and a shawl kept together with a skull. She was no longer Lapis Lazuli, but instead her true identity as the shapeshifter Mystique. "Frankly, we knew this part of our plan wouldn't end well." "We?" Steven asked, but the X-Men knew exactly who she was talking about. "The Brotherhood!" Iceman shouted when the alarms sounded. "Oh hey, speak of the devil." he muttered bemusedly. "No offense Kurt." "No time to talk, we must go now!" Nightcrawler commanded while Mystique made a break for it. "You are exactly right Wagner." Scott declared. "X-Men, let's move out!" -- Where the proud front doors to Xavier's school once stood, now there was only a hole created by a massive man dressed in red, most notably a large helmet covering his entire head. "Okay ya walkin' talkin' rock candy, where are you?!" Cain Marko, better known as the Juggernaut, roared. "It's a good thing Mystique planted that hearing bug on herself just in case." his amphibious partner Toad added. "I just can't wait to see those pebbles for real!" "Hello boys." Mystique greeted her fellow mutants as she stepped out of the shadows. "I suppose you may have already gotten the news." she said. "Well I got worse news: they're after me." And Raven was right. The Crystal Gems came charging after the mutant and took up arms against the two new mutants. "And you two are?" Garnet asked. "Pardon me for being so rude." Juggernaut stated. "You can call me the Juggernaut, bitch!" he roared. "And we're all from the Brotherhood of Mutants, here for that brat with the shield!" "Let me guess, is this about my mom?" Steven asked, exasperated how most of his enemies come after him because of Rose Quartz. "No, we don't care about her! The master only wants you!" Mortimer hissed. "Now just come quietly and none of your rainbow friends will get hurt." "No dice Kermit!" Amethyst shouted. "Steven, keep yourself away from these guys and get everyone to safety! The OG-3 got this handled!" she ordered the boy. "Right!" Steven accepted. "X-Men, I need you to help me find the students!" As Steven led the mutants and the Fantastic Four away; Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl charged at Juggernaut, Toad & Mystique with weapons ready. "Do you wish to know the qualities of the mighty toad?!" Mortimer bragged as his long tongue tangled with Amethyst's whip. "Wait wait, I think I got this!" Amethyst exclaimed. "This can happen to them." Suddenly, Amethyst tossed Toynbee around by her whip, still tangled with his tongue, and smashed him into the ground multiple times. "Okay!" Mortimer declared, getting more desperate with each pound. "I surrender! Same thing that happens to everyone else! Make it stop! I'm gonna be sick!" "What business do you have coming here following us and replacing Lapis?" Pearl asked as her spear clashed against Mystique's knife. "We are simply in league with someone who wants that child's gemstone." Mystique replied. "He desires it for experimental purposes." "If you think you can take Steven from us, then you got another thing coming!" Pearl howled protectively. -- "Okay, that should be all the students." Cyclops announced while doing a headcount of the school's student body. "I swear, we should really increase defenses at some point and maybe build a stronger building." "But I on the other hand believe the school being damaged builds character." Colossus responded. "So what can we do now guys?" Steven asked his fellow mutants. "I mean, is there any way we can just reason with these villains and make them leave the place?" "Don't you go thinking some cutie pie words will just make us surrender pink brat!" a new mutant declared emerging from the dust & rubble. He looked very similar to Wolverine, but looked more feral with blank white eyes, crazy blonde hair and a red & brown costume. Beside him was a pale Japanese woman dressed in tight black leather that had an Oriental style to it. Also like Logan, they both had metal claws emerging from their hands. "Creed. Oyama." Logan snarled at Sabretooth and Lady Deathstrike. "Looks like we almost got the whole Brotherhood here." Emma Frost implied. And just as she said so, a morbidly obese man in a blue singlet came rolling in using his fat body. "HOWDY TRAITOR!" the Blob shrieked. "And lookie here, we got us a good one!" "Why don't you just hand over the boy and no one will have to get hurt?" a pyrokinetic mutant offered while standing alongside another member of the Brotherhood in steel blue armor who was causing the school to slowly fall apart. "Naw just kidding to be honest, someone is probably gonna get hurt no matter which side they're on!" "Don't get too cocky John." the Brotherhood's earth-moving tactician Avalanche coldly reminded Pyro. "Now where could Tom be?" "Right here gang! And guess who I found?" the plant controlling Black Tom Cassidy announced while having assisted Juggernaut, Toad & Mystique in detaining Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl with his vines. "Seriously, who are you crazy people?!" Lapis exclaimed in fright at just how one man was able to defeat three powerful Gems. "They're the Brotherhood of Mutants, a group of extremists dedicated to more violent ways of mutant peace." Jubilee exposited. "And by the way, what do you want now?!" "They want Steven! I don't know why exactly, but they're working for someone who wants him for science junk!" Amethyst cried out. "That's not untrue runt." the Brotherhood's leader Magneto concurred while descending from the sky in a sphere of purple energy. "I do apologize for making this much of a scene but I implore you all, give us the child and you'll go free." "You shall do no such thing Erik." Xavier boldly rebuked the master of magnetism. "Just who are you in alliance with?" "Well, it should be someone quite familiar to some other guests of yours." Magneto answered while looking at Reed and company, who knew exactly who he was talking about. "Doom." Richards muttered in shock. -- As the invasion of the mansion went on, a man dressed in green robes and silver armor watched everything play out through a holographic screen in his castle in the nation of Latveria. Its literally iron-fisted ruler Victor von Doom slouched in his throne as he watched the Brotherhood of Mutants contend with the Crystal Gems and their new allies before he got up and walked towards the screen. With a devilish grin that couldn't be seen through his emotionless mask, he traced a circle around Steven and let out a menacing laugh. "Soon child, your gemstone shall belong to Doom." -- At long last, chapter two is done! Yeah, tons of things got in the way of its creation like my bad habit of unintentional procrastinating along with a certain virus that's been ruining everyone's fun lately. But on the bright side, I've been able to get this out long after the grand conclusion of Steven Universe Future, so I'd have a lot to work with for future stories. But for now, stay safe out there in these trying times and stay tuned.

Change

All of Steven’s talk in the new pair of episode about how he’s afraid of being left behind and all this change being too overwhelming for him put the idea in my head that he could probably benefit from talking to Spinel a lot after the mess that was Prickly Pair, and I couldn’t let go of it until I wrote a fic about it. 

Summary:  Steven needs to talk to somebody, and he's quickly realizing that he's running out of options. 

AO3:

Or under the cut:

You’ve reached Connie Maheswaran, leave a message!

Beep.

…

You’ve reached Connie-

Beep.

....

You’ve reached Connie Maheswaran, leave a message!

“Hey, Connie” Steven murmurs, leaning back against the hood of the Dondai. “I guess I probably should leave a message. I just wanted to talk. It’s nothing serious,” he lies through his teeth, “I just...wanted to talk to you. It’s been a while, and I, uh, just wanted to see how things were going. Call me when you can. Don’t mind all the missed calls. I’m fine.” He pauses for a moment, gazing up at the twinkling stars. “I love you.” 

Beep. 

Steven clicks his phone off, and places his phone face down on his chest. He rests his hands behind his head and contemplates what he could possibly do now. 

Connie was his only resort. Lars already left, he can’t talk to Sadie after that embarrassing fiasco at the graduation ceremony, his poor dad’s already been through enough with Bluebird, and the gems wouldn’t understand. If he went to them he’s sure they’d just pat him on the head and try to tell him how proud they are, or try to offer some sort of advice of how to fix it.  Yeah, well, this time he can’t fix it. Maybe he doesn’t even want to fix it.

Who else is there to go to? If he can’t worry his dad or Connie, and the gems won’t be any help, where else could he go for help? It’s not like he can go to the barn anymore, since it got merged with Little Homeworld.

Actual Homeworld? Now there’s a thought. The Diamonds would love to have him, sure, but what help would they be? If Blue finds out that he’s feeling sad then she’s just going to start crying, and then everyone else on Homeworld is going to start crying, Yellow’s probably just going to try to “solve” everything with violence, and White’s probably going to turn it into another excuse to bring up the offer to live on Homeworld again. It’s a miracle Spinel survived living in the palace with them for more than ten minutes.

Wait a minute.

“Spinel!”  Steven thinks out loud. “Spinel would understand!”

He slides off the car’s hood and climbs into the driver’s seat. He starts the car, ejects Shep’s cassette tape before it can start playing, and makes his way back to Beach City. It’s ironic, really. One moment he’s singing praises about the wonders of change to Spinel, and the next he’s going to her because he can’t cope with change himself. He might as well warp in raising a huge white flag over his head. 

The lights are on in the house when his car pulls up, but word must’ve gotten around that the graduation after party was cancelled without him needing to say it, because there’s no other cars on the beach or any music coming from the house. That’s good. The less people home, the easier it’ll be to sneak out.

“Hey buddy,” Amethyst waves hello from the couch as he comes in, seated in the middle beside Garnet and Pearl. “Nobody saw where you went after the ceremony, you okay? You...want anything to eat?” 

Steven shakes his head as he hangs his jacket up on a hook. “I filled up on cake, thanks”

Pearl’s the next to speak up. “Would you like some tea? I know how tiring planning these things can be”

“No thanks” Steven replies, and fakes a yawn, stretching his arms above his head. “I think I’m just going to try getting some sleep. I’ll see you guys in the morning”. Without waiting for them to reply, he begins heading up the stairs towards his room, until he’s stopped halfway by the sound of Garnet calling his name. He freezes up. Oh no, did I get caught? Is she going to make me stay? Is she going to make me talk to her instead?

He turns to her, expecting to see her with her visor removed and ready to give him a long, powerful speech about family always being there for you, or something. But she’s not. She’s just standing there, one hand on the railing of the stairs. She’s looking at him, but her visor renders her expression unreadable. 

“Have a good night, Steven” she says, and nods very subtly at him. The gesture makes him smile, and he disappears up the stairs. He opens the door to his balcony as quietly as he can, and sneaks into the dome without closing the door behind him to make as little noise as he possibly can. He tentatively steps onto the warp pad, takes a deep breath, and warps away to Homeworld. Now all he needs to do is try to find a way to get Spinel away from the diamonds long enough to talk to her alone without them noticing. 

Not that they’d even mind, anyway, but Steven always has to take things the hard way, doesn’t he. He materializes into the palace, and before he has even a fraction of a second to look around- 

“Well, well, well!” Spinel shouts from Pink’s old throne. “Look what the warp pad dragged in!” She stretches her legs into springs, and projects herself off of the headrest to land beside him. “Mister Savior of the Universe himself!” 

“Hi Spinel”

“What are ya doin’ here? This some top secret diamond meeting I don’t know about? I can go grab ‘em for ya”  She’s about to leave, but Steven grabs her by the wrist before she can so as much take a single step away. 

“N-no, Spinel, that won’t be necessary. I’m here to see you.”

She blinks, and turns to look around her to make sure there’s nobody else in the room. “Me?” 

Steven nods. “Yes, you.”

Her expression changes from a blank stare to a face-splitting grin between one blink and another. “Well, why didn’t ya say so!” She snaps her fingers, and winds an arm around him and uses her other to spring them onto White’s throne. “What brings you out to see lil’ ol me? Didja miss me or something?” 

Steven frowns. “I’m not here to play games, Spinel”

“Oh.”  Her arm holding Steven in place deflates, and she sits down, dangling her legs over the edge. “Then what do you need me for?” She raises an eyebrow at him. “It doesn’t have anything to do with another injector, does it? Because it’s not mine this time”

Steven sighs, and sits down on White’s throne as well. “I just...wanted to talk” 

“Oh, well, then I’m all ears!” She stretches her hand into a megaphone and places it against the side of her head where her ear would be. “What’s on yer mind?” 

Steven twiddles with his thumbs and kicks his feet back and forth. “Everything”. 

“You’re gonna have to be more specific than that, Universe”

“I’m being serious!” he throws his arms into the air. “Everything! Everything is happening so quickly! I just got Lars back, we’ve barely had any time to talk since I’ve been running the school, and now he’s leaving again, Sadie and the Suspects broke up, Connie’s thinking about applying to a college halfway across the country, and I’m really proud of her and wish her nothing but the best  because she deserves the best, but I miss her, I miss talking to her, I miss going on dates with her, but she’s so busy studying that I’ve been seeing less and less of her since fall, and don’t even get me started on the gems, they think they know everything about me just because they’ve raised me my entire life, but-”

He’s suddenly cut off by the sound of Spinel laughing hysterically. Steven blushes heavily, and turns to her to see her wiping tears from her eyes. 

“Wow,” she bellows, barely trying to keep the laughter out of her voice. “Talk about irony” 

“Huh? What’s so funny?” Steven’s voice squeaks in embarrassment.

“You.” She replies, wiping tears from her eyes. “You sang this big inspirational number to me about changing for good this, and change is for the best that, and all that talk about how you need to embrace the bad change before you can earn the good, and now you’re coming to me about it?” 

Steven blinks. “I...don’t think I ever said that last part”

“Eh, you implied it” Spinel shrugs. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, if you’ve been through all of this dramatic change before and came out of it just fine, why is this any different?” 

Well that’s a pretty stupid question. “Didn’t you hear anything I said?” Steven scoffs. “It’s different because all of my friends are changing. They’re all moving on with their lives. I don’t have that option”

Spinel shrugs. “Well, why don’t you?” 

“Why don’t I what?”

“Why don’t you have that option?”

Steven blinks. “I don’t follow”. 

Spinel snorts. “You’re the one who told me that nobody could change how I felt except me, right? By that very same logic you told me, isn’t that true about you? Nobody can change how you feel either, Universe. If everyone is moving too fast for you, it isn’t up to them to tell you what pace you should be moving at. It’s not up to them how you work through your feelings about processing all this stuff”. 

“That...doesn’t seem like very sound advice coming from someone who tried to ‘process’ her feelings by trying to kill the earth”

“That’s not my point! My point is that I came to my senses on my own terms. I burnt myself out on anger and then I let myself begin to move on. If I’d forced myself to move on earlier, I neva’ would’ve stopped being angry. I coulda’ taken it out on the diamonds if I wasn’t careful.” She snorts, and takes a small step closer to him and places a hand on his shoulder. “The point is that I know betta than most what it feels like when everyone’s moving on without ya. S’matter of fact, I probably know betta than everyone what that’s like. And I also know that if you don’t take things at your own pace, or if you just leave things the way are, you’ll end up in a much worse place. If I’d left things be, I’d still be stuck in that gemforsaken garden, and if I hadn’t burnt myself out and let the planet die, I’d just be stuck on a dead Earth. If ya keep forcing yourself to change to keep up with your friends, you’re just gonna end up stuck somewhere too”. 

...She does have a point, but…

“What about my friends? I’m just supposed to...let them go? I just have to sit around and watch them move on without me?” 

“Well, have they let you go yet?”

“What do you mean? Lars just left for space the other day.”

Spinel shakes her head. “I mean, your friends who are leaving, did they say goodbye? Did they let you know they were leaving?” 

“Well, yeah, but-” 

“Then they haven’t left you behind. Pink never said goodbye to me, Steven. She never told me where she was going. This Lars person, whoever he is, telling you he’s going to space, that’s more than Pink ever told me about Earth. I may not know as much as I think I do about friendship, Steven, but friends come back. Look at you,” she gestures vaguely towards him with a hand. “I left with the diamonds seemingly “forever”, and you still came back.” She smirks. “And I’m guessing this Connie girl was the one I saw talking to you on Earth? She couldn’t keep her hands off of you, Universe, I wouldn’t worry about her ever leaving you behind, even if she does move halfway across the galaxy or whatever it was you said to me”.

Steven blushes. “Country”, he corrects. 

“Whatever. Point is, Universe, if your friends really are your friends, then they won’t leave you behind when they go through some big exciting change. They’ll take you with them, even if it’s only in spirit” 

Steven snorts.  “And since when are you such an expert on friendship?” 

Spinel smiles upon catching onto the playful nature of his tone, and reaches into her pocket and pulls out a diamond communication device. She smiles at it, fiddling with it in her hands. “As much as you say they’re hard to get along with, my time with the diamonds really has given me a new perspective on friendship.” She offers the communication device out to him, and he takes it from her. “They gave this to me when we got back from Earth. They told me that if I ever got lonely all I’d need to do was twist this device in my hands and they’d be there for me, no matter where they were in the galaxy.” 

She takes it back from him. “They taught me to love again, Steven. They taught me that if someone loves you, they aren’t going to run out on you. If they’re going too fast for you, they’ll slow down and wait for you to catch up so they can walk beside you”. 

Steven laughs. “I’m starting to think they taught you more than I know, Spinel” 

She laughs. “Me? More knowledgeable than Steven Universe, best friend of the galaxy?”  She brings a hand to her gem. “I’m honored”. 

Steven laughs again, but before he can say anything else, his phone starts buzzing in his pocket. He pulls it out, and Spinel stretches her head over his shoulder to read the caller I.D. on the screen. 

Connie.

“See? What’d I tell ya?” she grins at him, and gives him thumbs up. He rolls his eyes at her, and leaps from White’s throne and gently floats to the ground so he can have a bit more privacy. 

“Hello?”

“Steven?” Connie’s panicked voice replies. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry I missed your calls, I was going to call back as soon as I finished studying for the night, and then my parents took me out for a movie and I forgot, and-”

Steven chuckles. “Woah, whoa, Connie. It’s okay. Everything’s okay” he says, and begins to head towards the warp pad to go back home where the reception is decidedly better.  Just as he’s about to warp back out, he turns around to face White’s throne one last time. Spinel, still standing where she had been moments ago, stretches an arm into the air to wave goodbye. 

“Actually,” Steven admits as the warp stream begins to encompass him. “Everything’s not okay.” 

Steven Universe: Future thoughts

Spoilers for the first four episodes below the jump!  All sorts of rambling ahead!  Please message me or reblog to share your thoughts, I wanna talk about it all!

I’ll try to organize things by episode.  I won’t be able to rewatch them until they go up on Apple TV so this is all off the cuff.  AHOY!

1x01 Little Homeschool

Steven has White, Blue and Yellow essences in his bathroom cupboard.  Maybe keep a bottle of your own spit just to be safe?  You never know? 

Aww Cherry Quartz is cute.  Did she actually get named? I assume that’s who that is.

I had thought that shot in the trailer was going to be Pink Smoky Quartz.   I was wrong, but then we DO get Pink Smoky Quartz next episode ahhhh!

We all know Steven drew that picture of himself and the Diamonds on the brochure.  

I like to think that Steven keeps up with his drawing during quiet times, and while he isn’t technically great, most 16-year-old artists aren’t great per se.  What’s important is that he keeps doing it and he’ll keep getting better!

Little Homeschool looks awesome and I want to go make some morps with Vidalia.  Wait, were Lapis and Peridot there? I don’t remember.  They should be!

I’m so glad Jasper isn’t the big bad!!! And I love that she’s just antisocial but not actively harming anyone (beetles and grass aside).  

Still no explanation for the blanket, I love it

STEVEN GO OFF, YOU TELL HER NOT TO HURT THAT BEETLE

Whoa Steven, that rage is juuuuust below the surface these days, isn’t it?  I get being annoyed at Jasper and I’m sure this isn’t the first time they’ve had this discussion but he really does just go off on her pretty damn quickly, and several times.

I am concerned that he referenced her corrupting herself.  I DON’T WANT CORRUPTED STEVEN Y’ALL, this better not be foreshadowing!!!!!

Honestly Jasper just needs to get into wrestling, I’m shocked Amethyst and Steven haven’t pointed this out to her

I’m dying at her attacking all the Earthlings in her little radius

Awww Steven, at first he’s really intrigued by Diamond Mode and wants to learn how to use it better.  So optimistic!

Except you totally killed about 10 conifers and only healed one, so way to hurt the forest dude

Am I the only one wondering how conflicted Dr. Maheswaren must feel, knowing Steven can heal all this crazy shit and that a) she’s toiling at doing it the old-fashioned way, b) he could really help her patients, and c) he isn’t?

Looking forward to seeing Steven and Jasper talk again, but I really hope it’s not because Steven’s been corrupted and is trying to get over it.  Urrrgh no ;_;

I do want to see if she has tips for how to control anger.  Or how to use it and learn from it.  But I’m not sure she knows either.

Steven is a shark.  Because if he’s not swimming, he’s sinking.  And swimming to him is helping people.  If he can’t do that, if he can’t do what he’s supposed to do in his mind, what is he doing?  He’s gonna sink this season and it’s gonna be FUCKING SPECTACULAR.

1x02 Guidance

Amethyst is so proud of herself!  It’s awesome!

Steven is clearly a little uncomfortable that he didn’t come up with the idea, isn’t he?  He also has a hard time figuring out that there are ways to use what you’re made for instead of having to run from it.  Of course, that isn’t true for everyone.  Little Larimar did love screams and children more than ice.  The best lesson is that people are different, some are comfortable working in a certain zone whereas others need to struggle past it to feel complete.

Amethyst was sitting in front of the Teens of Rage video game.  I FEEL THIS WILL BE SIGNIFICANT Y’ALL.

I’m just so glad Mr. Smiley finally isn’t understaffed. He could take a day off and go visit Mr. Frowny!

Uncle Andy is back!  Yay!  And he’s getting involved with Beach City in general, I’m really happy to see him putting down some roots.

Smoky Quartz is back!

PINK SMOKY HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THEM GO

Love love love the pink/purple asides for the Steven and Amethyst debate while being Smoky Quartz

TIME SLOWING/SUPER SPEED POWERS??? I WAS NOT PREPARED

The roller coaster exploded IN THE OCEAN I can’t EVEN

So far both Steven and Amethyst are intrigued and impressed by Diamond Mode, and sure, it seems harmless now... 

Steven is worried he’s losing his touch helping people.  That makes me worried that that’s part of a bigger feeling, not just this particular snafu.

Amethyst being so direct is often the one who gets closest to Steven talking about his feelings.  He started to go there, but then Little Larimar showed up again with their terrifying talk about screams....

1x03 Rose Buds

I’m really glad Greg and the Gems aren’t giving Steven shit about not wanting Rose to be looming over him in portrait form.  Now if y’all will also TALK to Steven about how he feels about it... but at least they’re okay with him removing the portrait.

HOOOOOOLY SHIT Y’ALL

I’m so happy J-10 and Y-6 are back!

OMFG they are NOT over Greg and it’s amazing

GAH-REG HOW COULD YOU

I’m glad the Zoomans are in control of their own destiny and able to go where they wish!  

no no no no no no no no no no we all know what’s coming here

Coming face to face with Rose Quartzes = instant KO for one Steven Universe

I almost had a panic attack with him as the Roses clustered around him and the music got tenser and tenser and the camera zoomed in on his face and that was fucking INTENSE PEOPLE

Greg seeing the Roses and just noping the fuck outta there, amazing, everyone in this family is so repressed

Poor Garnet and Pearl hiding in the bathroom

“Yeah, it’s weird”

Poor Rose Quartz-who-most-looks-like-our-Rose-Quartz, it’s clear she is much more emotionally in tune than the other two (due to her belly gem placement?)

STEVEN GOT NEW PAJAMAS

but let him sleep shirtless you cowards!

Also he just looked... so GROWNUP in that scene by the warp pad?  His proportions were just no longer little kidlike?  And he is still cutely beefy but not really little-kid chubby anymore and teen me would have had it BAD for him at this point, I’m just sayin’

Steven is S O O O O   S T R E S S E D   R I G H T   N O W

he’s eating his fucking blanket in an attempt to not talk about his problems I CAN’T

also HAVE WE NOTICED that Steven will eventually end up telling strangers at least some of what’s bothering him, but never the people who actually love and care about him

this episode was so damn tense it is masterful

I’m glad they managed to talk things out a little

but clearly Steven is still, as always, just scratching the surface, this poor kid just needs to GO OFF.

did he go pink in this one from stress for a second?  Or was that the next one? 

1x04 Volleyball

You cannot tell me that that white coat is not a hand-me-down from Dr. Maheswaren, it is CANON IN MY MIND

also damn how many Gems are cracking themselves right and left that this needs to happen regularly?

seriously though Steven, you might just want to get a spittoon and start sending one to every hospital ever, you would undo A LOT of human suffering....

Steven honey I’m so sorry your mom did you so wrong and I’m so sorry you’re so scared of everything to do with her and NONE OF IT IS YOUR FAULT OKAY

but maybe also you need to learn how to face some of this stuff so it doesn’t scare you so badly

Poor Pink Pearl!

Volleyball? Seriously Steven? so insensitive how do you know Pink didn’t throw a volleyball at her head

Poor Pearl and Volleyball feeling so jealous about each other

Volleyball is 8000 years old??  damn how old was Pink?

oooooooh the Reef!  so cool and mysterious!  Look at all those Pearl possibilities!

So Pink damaged her Pearl, and she sent her to the Reef for repair.  They fixed her gem, but when she reformed, the trauma was still so severe that she reformed with the crack.  Oh man :(

Now again I don’t want Corrupted Steven but you could probably wrangle that into support for the theory.

I prefer to think that Steven will do something different than straight-up Corruption to himself, but we could see something like the crack form instead of Corruption.

Willing himself into a monster form only works if he thinks of himself completely as a monster.  Right now he thinks Pink is the monster, and he thinks, finally, that he isn’t Pink.  So either he’d have to really hurt somebody and then view himself as a monster, or, my preference, he would develop something like a scar or pink eyes or stay pink all the time or something until he’s figured out his issues.

I JUST DON’T WANT HIM TO HAVE HORNS, YOU GUYS.

Pearl WAS protecting Volleyball from Steven oh NOOOOO

STEVEN SONIC SCREAM

So we’ve got Diamond Mode Strength, Super Speed, and Sonic Scream, man oh man oh man

this finally makes sense because all the other Diamonds have such well-developed offensive powers

Pink must have been like “no those are dangerous I don’t want them, what else can I do” and developed her healing powers secretly

I always wondered why the Diamonds never recognized Rose Quartz’s healing tears or shield as belonging to Pink

And it must be that she never showed it to them

They maybe only knew about her offensive powers

MEGA PEARL IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND WISE AND HER RIBBON DANCING IS SO MAGNIFICENT AND I LOVE THEM JUST TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER YOU TWO

I can’t believe we got a new fusion so quickly!!!!

Fuck that bitch Shell amirite

look, someone help Steven.

Please help Steven.

HELP. STEVEN.

No new trailer for next week???? COWARDS

omg someone please please scream about all this with me

Note: this post goes on at length about a crossover between Steven Universe and a noted horror franchise. If any of that bothers you, keep on scrolling.

So I’m still on my SU fixation right now, but last night I got to thinkin’ about a certain crossover...

The conditions of a gem discorporating or “poofing” appear to be either severe blunt-force trauma (Jasper’s battering helmet, several gems getting smooshed, etc), Yellow Diamond’s destabilizing powers (duh), or a foreign body penetrating the gem’s projected form (Pearl getting stabbed, Spinel’s rejuvenator slicing up the CG’s).

That last one is what intrigues me the most. Even though we’ve seen instances of an invasive foreign body triggering the discorporation of a Gem, we also have examples of it just... not doing that? Specifically, Topaz and Rose Quartz. Topaz had several foreign bodies in her projected form and appeared relatively unfazed by it (perhaps that’s unique to her design, but who knows). And of course Rose was able to live with a foreign body. She named it Steven.

But therein lies my question.

As y’all may know if you’ve spoken with me for any length of time, I’m a huge Aliens fan. And the unique properties that go into a Xenomorph’s physical form, the way it takes on the traits of the creature it came from, lend really well to crossover potential.

So if a human can impregnate a gem without killing it outright... what about a facehugger?

What would a Gem-Xenomorph hybrid look like? Would the Gem poof at the moment of chest-bursting? Would the Xenomorph have the gem embedded in its body, or would it simply inherit some of the gem’s traits and leave the gem discorporated? If the gem were era 1, would the Xenomorph be able to shapeshift? Would it still have molecular acid for blood? Could that acid eat away at and destroy a gem like a shattering? Could the Xenomorph’s prehensile tail-spike or extendable jaw provide the force necessary to shatter a gem like the Breaking Point?

I stayed up until 5 in the morning thinking about a horrible crossover AU where the gems accidentally find their way to LV-426/Acheron, and one of them is implanted by a facehugger. Not knowing how to handle it, the gems bring their implanted companion back to Homeworld, and... well, you can imagine how things go from there.

I imagine this hypothetical (I guess you could call it an AU? I dunno.) would take place after Future, when Steven had already settled down somewhere in America. Maybe it’s waaaay after, and he and Connie have married by now. Heck, maybe they’ve got a little one running around. (In fact, yeah. Let’s say they have a daughter. Let’s call her Rosie. I’m a sucker for that sorta thing.) He gets the call from home that... something is happening on Homeworld. It’s not specified what that something is, but he heads back to Beach City and finds some poor Homeworld gem—maybe Spinel?—scared and shaking, rambling on about some kind of horrible monsters overrunning the planet. The warp pad has been shut off, for the planet’s protection.

Steven asks if all the warps have been deactivated. Someone goes pale as they answer “not yet”, and they all head for the old galaxy warp... just in time to meet their first Xeno-Gem.

How would the gems go about fighting such a thing? Who would open it up first, sending that horrible acid spewing everywhere? Would it land on one of their gems? Would one of the Crystal Gems die they got the warp shut down?

I imagine Steven would feel a certain level of conflict about the whole thing. His whole life, he’d been the only half-gem in the universe. Now, finally, there were other beings like him in existence... but they’re all horrible monsters. Was it his responsibility to try and fix this? Could he even stand to not try? We know how he gets, always trying to help people.

And then... would it be more or less dangerous for Steven than a normal gem? If a gem gets discorporated, how long until the Xeno-Gems realize the actual gems need to be shattered before the gem is truly dead? If the Xeno-Gens have gems of their own, that knowledge would likely be pre-programmed into them like any other gem. But Steven can’t be proofed. Sure, the Xeno-Gem still has all the tools necessary to kill a human (it is a Xenomorph, after all), but with Steven’s powers and healing factor, would he be able to fend of an attack from a pack of Xeno-Gems?

What would a Xeno-Gem Queen look like? I imagine they’d be holed up in the palace after driving all the gems out of there. How would they combat such a thing? I imagined last night that—somewhere along the way—Rosie wound up in Homeworld by mistake, and the Xeno-Gem Queen was advancing on her. A bright pink-white flash, and the Queen turns. There’s Stevonnie, bigger and badder than ever before, now supercharged with Steven’s Diamond powers, staring the Queen down. They fight, Stevonnie shatters the Queen’s gem, they scoop up their daughter and take them home. Slowly—very slowly—Homeworld starts getting the upper hand, and eventually the Xeno-Gems are exterminated.

Steven takes a ship out to Acheron—never actually landing, just observing it from outside orbit—and brings along a certain someone with experience dealing with these creatures. Standing in the ship’s bridge with Steven, older now but still as strong as ever, is Ellen Ripley, who is inexplicably alive in this timeline. They have a long talk about what to do with Acheron. Ripley suggests blowing the planet away so that the Xenomorphs can’t hurt anyone else, but Steven doesn’t share this opinion. Instead, he proposes a constant vigil over the planet in place by Homeworld’s finest warriors. Nothing gets onto LV-426, and nothing ever leaves it. Ripley doesn’t quite seem satisfied, but conceded that that should be enough.

The two head back to Earth, and Steven asks Ripley what she’ll do now that the nightmare is officially over. Ripley shakes her head.

“Is it over?”

In the end, we don’t know. After all, it’s a pretty big universe out there.

...

Anyway, sorry this post was so long. It hit me like a train last night, and I just had to get it written down.

Thanks for 500 followers, my dudes!

Let Me Tell You Why Pink Diamond abandoned Spinel

Welcome to another instalment of me explaining things to a toxic fandom that hates a good character for no reason. Last time I went over why Pink Diamond isn’t the horrible person the fandom is trying to make her out to be, and in this one in light of the movie and Steven Universe Future which just came out and further annoyed me, I’ll continue to clearly point out the obvious. For this post, we’ll look at the timeline of events that led to Spinel being given to Pink, backed up, as always, with evidence from the show. Let’s begin. 

In sort of flash back dream sequences, we see how Pink and Pink Pearl used to goof off when the other diamonds weren’t around. We see them having fun, Pink juggling, then pretend to be serious when Yellow comes in to check on them (Together Alone). This indicates that the two were very close, made even more clear when, in a later flashback, it’s revealed that Pink begged Blue to save some organics from a new colony, which Blue let her do, and then the little caterpillar things got loose and started chasing the Pearls. This resulted in a heavy punishment for Pink, being locked in the tower again, and being scolded about how childish she is. 

Blue: Pink... White is very unhappy with you. If this keeps up, she's going to take away your Pearl.

Pink: I know. I’m sorry...

---  Change Your Mind

Because Pink Pearl being taken away is seen as such a punishment, it further cements that the two were close. The next thing that happens in this timeline though, is Pink breaking Pink Pearl.

Pink Pearl: It's a funny story, really. Once, Pink got tired of asking Yellow and Blue for her own colony, so she went straight to White. Of course, White told her she wasn't fit to run one, and, well, that set her off.

Pearl: "Set her off?" What are you talking about?

Pink Pearl: You remember how she was with her destructive powers, throwing tantrums left and right. She had a scream that could crack the walls. She didn't mean to hurt me. I just happened to be standing too close to her that time and-

Pearl: Destructive powers? Pink didn't have destructive powers; she was a healer! She didn't throw tantrums; she kept her feelings secret.

Pink Pearl: The Pink I knew couldn't keep a secret to save her gem.

 ---  Volleyball

As we see in the episode, what instantly follows is Steven losing control of his powers (which are the same as Pink’s) and throwing a tantrum of his own. He too never meant to hurt the Pearls, but he could have if they were standing closer. That’s exactly what happened to Pink; it’s not like she flexed her powers to show off and got a gem shattered, oh wait, that was Steven again. But Steven gets a pass and hugs, even though he purposefully killed a gem (something Pink never did)? Sure, fandom. Sure. 

But back to the Pearls, what should be taken away from this conversation is that Pink finally had a tantrum so severe, she hurt someone she loved. As a consequence, White took her Pearl away, brainwashed her and took complete control of her. And from then on, Pink never had these fits, never again, as her new Pearl never once saw her do that. Her new Pearl was custom made for Pink, and as such I assume the other diamonds tried to make her be what they considered to be a good influence – proper, well-mannered, responsible. But that just meant that Pink couldn't connect to this new Pearl the same way, and they didn’t form a bond until much later when they went to Earth. 

Pearl: I was given to Pink Diamond just a few thousand years before she was given the Earth. I was supposed to make her happy, I just… never could.

And because of that, Pink grew ever more miserable. Not only was her best friend taken away, but she had to see her all the time controlled like a robot by White, powerless to help her. And so the diamonds built her a playhouse, a garden on a far off colony, and gave her a playmate in the form of Spinel.

Spinel: On Homeworld, Pink was so lonely and sad, but not here! Here, we would play for hours. Every day was so much fun.

----  Steven Universe: The Movie

But as we can see in the flashback, especially when Spinel juggles, Pink still doesn’t seem happy. Spinel is just a replacement for her Pink Pearl, and she knows this. It’s that turtle your parents buy you after your dog dies. It’s a brand new toy to distract you from the fact that your best friend moved away. And so, when she finally gets a colony, she leaves without Spinel. 

Spinel wasn’t her friend, not really. It wasn’t a relationship that grew organically, it was forced by the diamonds who kind of figured that if they shoved two pink gems together they’d be besties in no time. But that wasn’t how it worked out. Pink and Spinel were never friends, not really, the only reason Spinel is so obsessed with Pink is because that’s her purpose -- she’s made to be a friend, except that’s not how friendship works. On top of that, Pink is obviously embarrassed by how Spinel acts when the other Diamonds call; she’s already having such a hard time trying to convince them she’s mature enough for a colony. So, when she finally gets one, she leaves Spinel in the garden. It’s the same thing you say to your dog so it doesn’t follow you out the door when you leave for work --  “Stay.” You assume the dog will wander off after a minute, not that it would stay there all day. And when you leave for work, you don’t take the dog with you. 

Pink: ♫ "Here in the garden, let's play a game,

I'll show you how it's done;

Here in the garden, stand very still" ♫

(Pink kneels down to Spinel and boops her nose, instructing her to stand very still.)

Spinel:♫ "This'll be so much fun!"

And then she smiled, that's what I'm after,

The smile in her eyes, the sound of her laughter

Happy to listen, happy to play,

Happily watching her dri-i-ift away ♫

 ----  Steven Universe: The Movie

Yes, Pink left Spinel, but she didn’t know that she’d never come back to the garden at the time, and she didn’t know Spinel would literally not move for thousands of years. Notice that Pink didn’t give the instruction to not move until told otherwise, it’s unreasonable in the extreme to assume that she intended for this to happen. I think it’s reasonable to assume that she thought Spinel would eventually go back to Homeworld to seek her out if nothing else.

Also let’s face it -- Spinel is annoying. You see this throughout the movie, with her trying to inject herself into Steven’s actual meaningful relationships, and in Future when she tries to sing at him. I’m annoyed as a viewer when Steven is trying to get the gems to remember him and she keeps trying to butt in. Steven is annoyed at her, the entire time, and the funniest part is there at the end where she tells him that he only befriended her so she wouldn’t try to destroy his planet. Um yeah, right on the money, Spinel. For a gem who’s role is supposed to be being a friend, she really has no idea how the concept works at all. You can’t force friendship to happen. You can’t become friends with someone that’s trying to hurt you and everyone you love over the course of a song. These things take time. What Steven gave her was pity, not friendship, and then he shipped her off to live with the diamonds so he wouldn’t have to deal with her or spend time actually forming a connection with her. Because she’s annoying and also crazy. 

Look, I get that she looks like a pink Mickey Mouse, and I get that people project their own friendless childhoods onto her, but come on now. Be honest with yourselves. No one would take this possessive fake friend they never asked for that keeps embarrassing them to work. No one. And if you think you would, you’re lying to yourself to mentally make a point. 

Even if Pink did wonder about Spinel, her path to the garden was no longer accessible after she became Rose Quartz. She probably assumed, as any reasonable person would, that Spinel went to Homeworld to look for her when she didn't come back, and is probably living a nice life there. 

I ask you, how was she supposed to know Spinel is literally insane and wouldn’t move for millennia?