more birthday bug ko-fi doodles! thanks to everyone who contributed to my birthday treat fund.

Phylum #11: Priapulida, the penis worms!

It is the late Ediacaran. For thirty million years, enigmatic creatures have peacefully grazed on microbial mats - unique ecosystems where layers of photosynthetic bacteria covered the shallow seafloor. And then the penis worms arrived.

Priapulids were among the first animals to start digging inside the substrate at a large scale. Unlike previous creatures, their burrows were vertical, not horizontal. Disturbing the microbial mats in depth and oxygenating the substrate, they set the stage for life to diversify in a new ecosystem. The Cambrian substrate revolution had begun.

530 million years later, priapulids - named after the Greek god of fertility - survive as one of the three scalidophoran phyla. The only ones to still reach massive sizes, some species can be up to 40 centimeters long!

While they do not have plated armor or complex spines like their cousins, they share the ability to extend and retract their spiked head. They also live in or near the seafloor, often hunting for sea worms which they catch with their toothed, eversible pharynx. Their body often ends in complex tail appendages, believed to act as gills thanks to their large surface area.

much love to penis worm's taxonomist

The discord preview of the Wikiped's article on penis worms is a work of art that feels right out of that one Austin Powers scene.

'Their general shape and their proboscis may resemble the shape of a...'

*Cut to picture of a penis worm that does indeed resemble the shape of a...*

September animal fact #18

Here’s a picture of a penis worm

Crazy that I thought this would be a tame fandom when I first wandered through because the robots make a point about being creatures who can’t reproduce sexually. Haha… heh… crazy……

Taxonomy Tournament: Ecdytes

Kinorhyncha. This phylum is made up of tiny benthic organisms, known as mud dragons

Priapulida. This phylum is made up of unsegmented marine worms known as penis worms.

I know the common explanation for Taylor’s superhuman pain tolerance is Bakuda’s pain bomb, but I wonder if part of it might be the fact that she has to experience every time one of her bugs dies.

still wondering why the fuck he got jumpscared by Heather's entrance in this gif brah 😭

talking to my girlfriend on Discord and drawing a gelatin penis is not a plan I had today... how floppy is this thing... I'm coming up with more questions than answers here

ive gone from shock to curiosity to full on support. you need to see this through anon.. for me

lol I just watched two pigs fuck each other.

On the topic of Into The Skitterverse that everyone enjoys making but doesn't even try to write...

Aiden takes the Miles role, budding off Weaver in a more hopeful wormverse (not an alternate universe like Alph Bet etc), a successful independent hero killed in action by Coil. Coil (Who plays into his bond villain role a bit more here) explodes a hole between universe with the assistance of Bakuda in a vain attempt to time travel into the past for Reasons.

Canon Warlord Taylor takes the Peter B role. She pretends she is and always was a hero because she's surrounded by other heroic Skitters. So does every other skitter. The crux of the plot hinges around Aiden's slowly realizing that what made his universe different was that the girl with spider powers was actually a hero in his universe. Swarm AKA "Danny Hebert" takes the Noir Role, Annette taking on the persona of her dead husband while fighting crime because 1930's. Her universe is more magic/eldritch than worm, and she's a Breaker that swarms into spiders to use her powers. Take's on the 'edgy antihero' comics aesthetic, killing for revenge of her dead family and all that other angst. Taylor and her have a few mutual 'you look like the dead person that motivates my backstory' moments after she drops the act.

Taylor Beebert takes the Spider Ham role. Beebert is a pixel art cartoon bee that teaches kids how to deal with cyber bullying and computer bugs! Because she is one, as part of the teenage hacker programs terrorizing Earth Beta.

Anime Taylor takes the Wildbow Cannibal Girlfriend role. She initially presents herself in Overly Long Light Novel Title Harem Protagonist, hiding the fact the multiple personalities of her giant fighting beetle robot, Khepri, are not members of her Platonic Lesbian Harem but the last vestiges of the other pilots she had to consume in order to trick their mechs to combine with hers.

when suzume and souta stabbed the keystones into the worms urethra, call that sounding

Things I did not expect to learn this Sunday morning when I clicked on the reel preview of an animated bird seemingly pushing a penis around in a stroller:

before and after his divine evolution

Oh my god, I was like, hey lets read that silly webcomics with the funny penis anatomy and then I ended up sinking it like 3 hrs and its 4am