About a year or so ago, I had this dream. In this dream, there was only darkness. My consciousness, but also the mind of another. Whose color flashed occasionally as a dark magenta. They never said their name out loud in words. But I felt it in their presence. Thanatos.

There, in that dream space, we had a conversation that consisted of my death. He asked me if I was ready. I told him that I didn't think I was. That I still had things I needed to do. Flashes came before me, thoughts of the nephews, my partner. I felt him shift there, and Thanatos asked me when i thought I would be ready. I told him maybe ten or twenty years. He simply said "okay, I'll be back then." Then I woke up.

Ever since then, I've felt increasingly like I didn't want to die, that it was worth living. Even though I'd had wished for it so many times in the past. I realized now I had things to do before my departure from this place. Still more things to see and do. Not out of fear, but obligation, out of want and desire. It was a very clear answer in my own head of how much time I needed. Mostly based around the nephews and their growing up.

Yet, at the same time, I have also felt my body waning. As though the symptoms of my mental illness are becoming stronger. I don't feel it every day, but there are days like today that I think about how much time I have left. Where it will lead me. Sometimes I think about slipping into a coma. Just because sometimes it feels like that's what's happening. That one day I just won't wake up but I'll be conscious in there. Because it's happened before a few times.

Anyway, idk how much I want to read into such a dream. But it just makes me think sometimes. That soon my existence may end, maybe sooner rather than later, (I say it in this way because it just feels sometimes like my condition is worsening) and instead of being worried about that, I should focus on my own comfortability and the things I want or need doing. Everything else..well..idk. I can only live as I do. Even if it's aching getting up in the morning.

Also, idk why Thanatos because I do not worship him, Hades, or any greek gods. So, I have no idea why he would of visited me if he even did. But I can tell you it felt pretty real. Like i was semi conscious. It felt like I was sort of having a conversation with someone. But it didn't feel scary or weird. It just felt Normal and okay. Afterwards, I actually felt at peace with myself and my life.

Nornir

You may be accused today that you have a childish perception in understanding the negativity displayed by your friends or family over a disagreement but that doesn’t imply that you are totally ignorant or immune to the effects of hurt or pain it is having upon your emotions that the people that matter most to you can’t reconcile their differences amicably. You are not powerless to change their behaviour today. It might mean that you need to come up with a plan to gather together everyone in the same room and thoroughly thrash out the conflict.

saw the god djehuty/thoth in my dream last night and he took on the most intimidating form possible for what i presume was meant to be a nice chat

i have come up with a replacement for christmas but idk what to call it. the only aspect of christmas i want to retain is the gift trading

basically it's just a winter celebration. you get together with your loved ones (not just your family!) and trade gifts with one another and sit around with hot chocolate and other wintery dishes and drinks and stuff and you just chill in the living room spending time together and watching snow fall and sitting by the fireplace and shit. no trees, maybe some pale white or blue lights, no fucking santa, just winter and love

Prayer for Nausiklutia

Hear me, O beloved ocean goddess, calmer of waves, protector of mariners, she who heralds sailors away from harm and into her arms.

Messenger through dreams, who guides us to the divine dawn, blessed lady of the sea, please guide those who’ve strayed from the safety of your eyes.

Brizo of slumber, fair protector, and navigator I revel in your divinity on this day and for all you offer us through your kind heart.

O sea faring goddess of far-famed Delos may you guide me to prosperity and fairer times as you do with ships in your harbour.

Sea loving Brizo may you accept these offerings and bring blessings of your divinity.

watching our sorrows burn, 2021

I've been wanting to make an offering to Odin for a few years now, since he came to my aid in a moment of need, but not knowing what to do exactly... until my beloved partner gave me an amazing idea: since Odin is know to *check notes* take out your eye as a mark of interest and affection, and I do notice things flying fast and close to my left eye whenever I get closer to him, I will offer him an eye.

Image: two pictures of a wooden eye, around 2cm in diameter (around an inch), with Ansuz, the rune of Odin, engraved at the back.

I made it with fresh oak foraged locally (the public service of my village cut down many oaks and branches around the roads recently), and I will offer it by throwing it down one the many old wells around my house!

aaa?????? i like how my theories are the same as in-game theories about him- ALSO this is the first time i've seen hermanubis mentioned in anything when i wasn't looking for him this is amazing

Vision:

"Some believe that Cyno is actually a descendant of King Deshret. They say that he grew up in a temple located in the Great Red Sand and was raised by a nameless Hermanubis priest who cultivated Cyno's will and strength before, when he was ready, bestowing upon him a Vision and requiring him to cross the desert all by himself to arrive at the Akademiya and enact Hermanubis' will."

Happy Lughnasadh ✨🍎

Vision board ✨✨✨

A disagreement today will awaken a need within you to re-examine your stance on the subject that brought up the confrontation. You are not opposed to be corrected providing that the conflicting ideas act as an enhancement to your own personal growth and evolution. What seems important today is in taking the initiative to deepen your understanding or knowledge on the subject so that further disagreements won’t surface to the extent as it has in this conversation.

A vision of doom

I don’t normally post visions but last night was so powerful I thought I would make an exception.

I woke running from a giant rat in the east garden pod. Global warming had come with a twist that nobody had predicted. While people baked year on year with records being broken. Farms were suffering. Crops were continually starved of water as rainfall reduced and rivers dried. Then when the ground was so dry that it cracked, the storms would hit, washing away anything left. Then the heat reached a point where most crops failed.

Food still grew in some cooler parts of the world and their export cost shot up. These became the gardens of the world. Some not wanting to be dependent on others adopted alternative methods. I worked in the garden pods giant subterranean hydroponics gardens sunk beneath the ground. Originally the pods were just somewhere we visited to work, however that was my grandfather's time, now we eat, sleep and work underground. The surface is just somewhere you visit to remind yourself of better times.  We live in what was once called Italy but now is just a wasteland, even with the latest high factor sun protection you can only stay topside for 10 minutes before you start to burn.  When the storms hit nobody leaves the safety of the Hex, the name of our habitat.  

The land is much smaller than it used to be as rising seas reclaimed some of the land.  What I struggle with is why those in the past didn’t do more to prevent this. Most of the west attempted to make a difference with some measures put in place but sadly it was the east that created most of the pollution. They simply refused to make enough changes, putting profits over the planet, even as their homes were struck with droughts and floods. They were kept in the dark and controlled by the wealthy. Even when things were put in place like the 2025 Shift where most of the planet swapped from natural gas to Hydrogen. It took years before people discovered that most of the Hydrogen was simply being created from Oil, keep the money where it has always been.

We couldn’t save the animals but have the Ark, a DNA library. If needed we could grow clones of any of the animals that have been lost. We still have pictures but its not the same.

#julyforloki Reflections: I planned on sharing some reflections of the first few days of the month, and a few recent occurrences led me to believe today might be a good day for it.

I'm not sure I'll be able to keep this to one post, as Instagram seems to have its limits. Anyway, as I mentioned on Friday, I've been very emotional during the days leading up to July 1 and over the past few days. I've been crying, hard, a lot more. Especially during morning rituals, evening altar preparations and/or meditations, altar cleaning, and, oddly enough, in the shower.

And the visions I have during morning meditation... A number of my visions take place in caves (this is for another post). This morning, there were three caves, one looking out into a forest, one looking out into the mountains, and one looking out into the ocean. The cave looking out into the ocean caught my eye. In the other two caves I was looking out from a dark cavern, but there was light coming in from outside in the third cave and I could see quite a bit of the entrance of the cave. When I finished my meditation, I opened my journal to record the visions, and Loki shook the ground beneath me a bit, and then more than a bit. I could feel Him grinning.

Cave. Earthquake... The Bound God. The fire beneath the earth. God of earthquakes and hot springs. Hmmm... The energy of July is looking to get more interesting. This definitely sheds some light on some other things He showed me. After the morning rune pull, He showed me two runes in the candle flame, which I will be another post.

For those who have read this far, thank you so much. I've never considered Instagram to be a reader-friendly platform, so this really means a lot.

Hail Loki! I love You!

#loki #reflections #visions #earthquake #caves #godspouse #lokean #hailloki #pagan #northerntradition #northerntraditionpagan #runes