a ghost amongst the living (consequences of a cognitive death.)

i drew a second outfit design for sumi wayyyy back so now i've decided to redraw it and make it better! and also, i chopped her hair off! now THATS what i call character development

justice

something about akechi's fixation on being unwanted and him being reintegrated into existence because joker's strongest wish was wanting him to be there

A Knife Cuts Deeper on the Way Out

Part 2 of my accordion book comic project! Part 1 >here<

in which goro has some things to say

I have two types of Akeshu playlists

The playlists that are driven by the angst, the raw emotions, the chaotic concoction of all their mixed feelings in-game and throughout the story or even in my fanfics...

and then whatever the hell this is supposed to be

ok but how tf did maruki know morganas wish

this has definitely been done before but have this sketch i pulled out of nowhere

you are Sumire Yoshizawa and you can’t put your hair in a ponytail without shaking. your memories are hazy and the knife is in your hands and you try not to cry over chopped vegetables because you’re supposed to be good at this but you haven’t been for a year. you want to try a new routine but instinct makes your muscles become someone else’s and you’re sorry and you’ll try to be yourself but you’re scared to admit you don’t remember who you are. who you were. who you’re supposed to be.

you are Sumire Yoshizawa but you put the wrong name on your tests for months and you avoid cabs for longer after what your friend tells you and you’re entirely justified but a part of your brain says you’re entirely at fault and you can’t help but be very, very sorry for that.

woe, kagepro au be upon ye

It makes me almost laugh how, even after P5R, some genuinely believe Akiren and Akechi hate each other. It’s just so baffling to me when (and this isn’t even everything):

1) The whole beginning of their confidant (and Akiren still going out with Akechi for eight whole ranks) implies in a not-even-subtle way that Akiren knew. He knew from the very start that Akechi was someone at the very least dangerous due to his detective work, and even more so with the full-on certainty (basically) that Akechi had already been into the metaverse. Yet the full true ending requires that the whole confidant has been completed and truly, besides an initial attempt to understand the danger the PTs were getting into with Akechi, Akiren/Akechi’s whole outings were... dates. The most normal of dates, aside from Rank 7 (which is where, again, not even so subtly, Goro “mentions” the whole assassination ordeal and an aborted-from-the-start possible accomplice route) and ofc Rank 8. Akiren didn’t have much to gain from them, besides possibly understanding... well, Akechi as a person. And also, Akiren is kind of an appreciator of the fine art of danger, he likes the thrill of it. He loves the rivalry they have. 

2) I adore how dudebros many use the whole “I hate you” bit of Rank 8 as proof of Akechi’s hatred towards Akiren and... it is kinda funny. Because, yes, the sentiment is there, and Akechi isn’t utterly lying, but it requires a reading between the lines operation. Both Morgana and Maruki literally state, respectively that “Goro likes Joker” (OG Japanese Engine Room, translated in English as “You don’t hate Joker”, which still conveys the same meaning, albeit less strongly/forwardly) and that their relationship “ISN’T based on hatred, nor ill will”. 

What Goro defines as spite for Akiren as a person is mostly spite because of his envy. Envy because Joker is everything Goro could have been had he had a chance. Envy because Joker was luckier. Envy because Joker got what Akechi had been craving for the most: being loved by people around him for who he is. These same people are also ones that state how basically everything from Akechi’s mouth is a full on lie besides this one and only one, but I digress. A more normal line of thoughts linked to this is, well, Akechi’s whole assassination attempt as proof of his hatred again, which well, the assassination attempt is yikes on a healthy relationship perspective, but since I am not debating on whether their relationship is healthy or not as if enemies to lovers where the lovers attempt to kill each other isn’t a basis for many heterosexual classical literature romances as well, isn’t it pretty funny that Goro challenges Akiren to a duel just before that fateful day of November. And isn’t it even funnier how he wasn’t that surprised by Akiren surviving and even states,at max rank, how Akiren too isn’t satisfied with how they left it either. I wonder.

3) P5R whole, well, Royal part is literally Maruki creating a false reality for all the PTs and somehow people still believe Akiren hates Goro with the full-on knowledge that Akiren’s whole ideal (again ideal, wished for) reality is Goro living and working with the PTs. It’s Goro having a second chance. It’s Goro specifically being with him, playing Chess with him in the reserved space of Akiren’s attic (the window behind them is the same as Akiren’s attic), their card is the only one, besides Simping Morgana - where Ann isn’t even looking at him btw) - where two PTs are together). 

I have seen someone in a comment mention how this is proof Akiren wanted Akechi to pay for his crimes and being alive was so Goro could be sent to jail when? Literally Akechi isn’t allowed to go to jail in Maruki’s reality LMAO. Akiren could have asked for everything. Money, fame... yes, but we can state these aren’t truly Akiren-like wishes, right? So, not that. But how about... having a loving family that actually cares? Because no, I can’t believe parents who leave their child to a friend’s acquaintance are supposed to be good parents. But this is an HC, so let’s scrap that. Then there is it: clearing up his name. Making it so that all of his crimes would vanish completely, especially in a country like Japan where having a dirty record is utterly terrible. He would get rid of the side-looks, the prejudices, the suspicions possibly brewing in his home town about him being the worst of criminals at age 17/18. And yet. No. For sure we can say the PTs being all together is also accounted for in Akiren’s wish, possibly, but the thing is, Maruki doesn’t use that as a last resource. His ace in his sleeve was Akechi. Had always been.

4) Every single third awakening in the game is in each PT’s room. It’s somewhere private, somewhere which is only theirs, somewhere they can call home. Akechi’s initially, in early development as uncovered by Faz, was in Jazz Jin which, he himself admits, is kinda his place, a place where he unwinds and relaxes. Akin to, well, a bedroom. Yet, it was significantly changed. Changed to freaking Leblanc. And no, I don’t think it’s because of the coffee. 

5) You know the song No More What Ifs? The one which at first was in Proof Of Justice (which, by the way, either inspired the contents of the game or the Anime and P5R directors are besties, since what’s in there is basically Akechi’s P5R confidant condensed in 20 minutes of angsty gay longing footage) and then got put, as many other Proof of Justice related matters - as stated above -, in the game? It’s literally Akechi’s theme song. And it talks about him in every way (I can only be me... if you haven’t read Mementos Mission GO READ IT) and about someone else who brings joy to life (I wonder who that is)? Yes, well, the instrumental of it is the default song in the Thieves Den. Which. It’s defined as Akiren’s palace. 2+2=4 and in here Suspicious coincidences add up to just equal either fruity (for real) or still the undeniable fact that what these two share is a sentiment far, far from hatred.

Shuake week day 2: ng+ EXCEPT its the one part of miraculous where nathalie tells gabriel hes insane because its an inside joke with my friends now but take that conversation and add it with time traveler akira do you see my insane vision

The type of drawings that only really appeals to me tbh....

Anyways,Fushimi Chihiro from P3 as Goro Akechi,They do share the same arcana after all lol

Ok sooo I need to share this AU concept since I feel like it wouldn't make sense in the actual timeline and among other things but still it won't leave my head:

So remember how people came up with AUs where Joker and Maruki are related? Well... This was inspired by a part of me and Creepy's RP but what if Rumi had a surprise for Takuto and her parents on the day of their visit which obviously ended badly and put an end to that plan? That surprise ended up being Ren but unfortunately, Maruki already removed himself from her life so neither of them were aware of being related until present day and 3rd semester.

Poor Rumi would just be so confused on why she's carrying a baby after the (accidental) memory wipe but considering how her personality was described she would no doubt keep him despite the potential stigma she would be hit by. She starts living with her Grandparents and remaining family members after getting out of the hospital who were apprehensive about her having a child alone out of wedlock but take her in anyway. Also having probably met Maruki before at some point... They already assume that the father is him and believed that he abandoned her so therefore end up not mentioning him to avoid hurting her. Her grandparents at least cared more than them though and try to support her as she gets back on her feet.

Come the day Ren was born and Rumi absolutely dotes on him but does note something being a little familiar about him appearance-wise and she starts to feel off whenever she thinks more about it. Namely kinda like how, "Kasumi" ends up having random slumps/depressive episodes. This worsens as he gets older and starts showing similar quirks and behaviors as Takuto which her relatives (except for her grandparents) start to resent him for, especially when he starts asking questions.

At one point, Rumi ends up having a sudden breakdown due her own filter further weakening (curse the lack of power consistency with Maruki in canon) and an older Ren asking about his father which scares Ren and then herself when she almost hurts him in the process (probably not physically though since I don't see her doing that to her own child regardless of her mental state). This gets her sent to a mental health facility which Ren does visit more than her relatives (this would be part of why he was heading home late when he encountered Shido). Each visit can vary for him: One day she was her usual loving and energetic self that he knew as a child, the next she was hardly responsive despite his best efforts to talk to her. He also often brings a book or even a chess board since they both liked playing it ("Checkmate") to cheer her up.

He's still just as confused about his father and who he was but from what did learn and even overheard in the past about him, he starts to resent him. Even more so when his relatives start acting distant and cold towards him due to blaming him for Rumi's current situation.

And the lack of contact throughout the game? Blame the relatives as they wasted no time in sending Ren away for his probation which leaves her shattered but to them, it's better for her health in the long run. Being the stubborn woman she is, she still tries but is blocked and prevented from doing so each time which actually worsens things with her as opposed to helping her. It doesn't help that her Grandparents also passed away already by this point and they were actually her primary support system while everyone else in her family was just tolerant at best, uncaring at worst.

How Maruki would piece everything together I'm not entirely sure but maybe like this: He starts to notice Ren showing similar personality traits as Rumi and even himself but doesn't think much of it at first but then Ren decided to randomly bring a chess board to a session which surprises him but plays along as Ren states it cheers him up sometimes, his mom especially. Now I can see Maruki maybe playing it with Rumi when they were younger so when Ren starts showing more of Rumi's quirks as they play, Maruki starts to pale a bit. Again, kinda tying into that "Checkmate" line. Not sure how Maruki would finally figure it out since idk how he would get DNA test done while not seeming suspicious but maybe Shibusawa makes a comment about Rumi having a kid while they were catching up alone? Either way, he would probably also have access to medical files from Shujin and once he sees Rumi's name as his mother with the father not being listed...

"It can't be..."

Plus, I feel like once he gets the ability to warp reality then maybe he would have probed Ren's memories a bit for more confirmation. Needless to say, he's extremely guilt-ridden.

And poor Ren when he finally puts two and two together... Compared to canon, he's PISSED that the person he bonded with and confided to was also the person he resented the most and he just ends up making rash and impulsive decisions without thinking like Sumi before her reveal. Which is something that would startle even AKECHI of all people a little since he's so used to Joker showing more empathy. I would also utilize Raoul because fuck Atlus for making him a DLC Persona.

He would basically represent Ren's acceptance of everything and how he still wants to change Maruki's heart but not out of spite or revenge but to save everyone and HIM since he realized that Maruki is hurting too and needed help. He wants to reconcile with him. To summarize:

Also the departure for the "Leave" ending will be changed quite a bit with Maruki initially parting ways like in canon but then excuses himself with a break to catch up with Ren to give a proper goodbye (bumps into Sumi too). It leads to an emotional conversation until they see a familiar face that Ren immediately hugs. It was an astonished but slowly recovering Rumi. Her filter is gone too. Granted, it's a little bittersweet since Rumi would be kinda pissed that Maruki more or less up and left her alone (even giving him a good punch or smack) but she won't forbid Ren from seeing him either. She's just still a nice person at heart so she wouldn't be mad for long. Especially when Ren pleads his case and she trusts his judgement. That and she would acknowledge that she should've told him about her carrying Ren sooner before that visit to her parents.

The context behind her showing up would be sad initially... She came to Tokyo because she saw the news report of Ren's "suicide" from the facility and was heartbroken. But then she decided that she had enough of staying in that place and demands that she be released which the orderlies complied. She then decided to cut ties with her more toxic family members when they showed little to no care about that report and even insulting Ren to her face. She basically went to Tokyo to find Sojiro and a temporary place to stay as she decides what to do next. Obviously that changed when she sees him alive and hugging her. The filter would wear off after reality is back to normal too during her train ride hence her impulsive response to seeing Maruki.

It does get happy again though when she confirms that as soon as they come back to retrieve what's left of Ren's belongings, they're staying in Tokyo full time. She's also willing to talk with Maruki to catch up and try to give closure as well. Before they both depart, they each give him something to keep him company and remember them in the meantime: Ren gives him his favorite childhood plush toy that he carried around (which suspiciously looks like Mona) and Rumi... She gives him what she wanted to give him before that tragic day... An ultrasound photo showing a small silhouette of a baby. To say that Maruki cried quite a bit is an understatement as he hugs Ren tightly, apologizing repeatedly and promising to step and provide for them as much as he can.

Is TakuRumi gonna be endgame? Idk since a lot of time had passed and I honestly liked the aversion of expectations the game did by having him not get back together with her and deciding to start over on his own (I do wish that more closure was provided with her at least but oh well). Past TakuRumi is a definite but present day? Maybe not likely. But they would still get along since they both care about Ren greatly. Also just imagining Rumi going mama bear mode towards Zenkichi at the beginning of Strikers is too damn funny too.

maybe im a weak bitch, but like. i'd 100% get the bad end if presented with the dilemma in the third semester