#or write up a thesis on them
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after the evilive finale that just so happened to coincide with my current obsession with amigo the devil's music, and a long hard discussion with my friend i made a hour-and-a-half dyds playlist solely with his songs. in a story order.
not my fault that his lyrics about fucked up men and all sorts of moral flaws suit them so well.
enjoy the labour of my joint fixations!
#biography of a villain#dyds#seo do young#han dong soo#well it's not only about dyds but also about ds and his family#which he fucks up royally like a girlboss he is#'cocaine and abel' is soooooo dongsoo & beomjae coded it's crazy#amigo the devil#the man you are#i wanna chew on his songs like a nicotine gum#or write up a thesis on them#i'm not sure yet#Spotify#evilive
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Evolution of Eliot/Hardison hugs over the years.
And the one time that Eliot really needed a hug:
Leverage S02E08/S03E10/S04E01/S04E07/S04E10/S05E09/Leverage Redemption S01E16/S02E06.
#leverage#leverage redemption#eliot spencer#alec hardison#christian kane#aldis hodge#i swear eliot is like a feral kitten#starts off all hissing and spitting and 'i swear i will break your arm'#and to get them used to being handled you grab them and wrap them up tightly in a towel and just shower them with affection#they hate it at first but slowly they learn to accept it#and then they come to love it#the next thing you know you have an extremely affectionate cat who initiates the contact#who's favourite thing ever is to be sprawled on your lap purring their head off#i did not mean to write a thesis on this but here we are#and yeah i could have not added that last gif and saved you all a punch to the gut#but it was getting way too mushy in here! :)#*runs off chuckling back into my pit*#ghostly'sgifs
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not shipping something subtextual? alright whatever
not shipping it because a wildly popular INACCURATE fan theory says the characters are related? annoying.
not shipping it because you believe (falsely) that they're related + claiming there's no subtext when the crux of the series is the relationship? DIE.
#i need to write my thesis on portal as a feminist story it's been brewing in my head for years and every time#someone says something stupid about caroline or chell or glados it bubbles up and i become exponentially more evil#maybe writing it will inspire less rage within my heart when I see a godawful take in the wild#even if you don't like chelldos. and I get that. you can't deny that the chell and glados' situationship is the heart of both games#the first game ends with them trying to kill each other. the second one ends with them saving each other#logs#portal#chelldos#I swear some people opened the game and absorbed nothing but british men and glowing hole#I think of the GLaDOS line ''I'm being serious I think there's something really wrong with me'' every fucking day#the delivery and context of it. also she's just like me
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thinking about how sleep token’s discography continually engages with(in) liminal spaces— sleep, dreams, the limbo between heaven and hell, transitive actions, genres, etc.— and the ways it amplifies and further emphasizes the fleeting nature of love and romance, and reminds listeners of the very thing the band continually expresses: nothing lasts forever.
#sleep token#shut up lana#sleep token analysis#analysis#lyrical analysis#music analysis#writing#is this even a mini essay?#this is just the thesis i suppose#anyways i was gonna say more but didn't feel it necessary to divulge the details#if you listen to them even once you'll get what i mean#vessel sleep token#vessel#sleep token ii#ii#sleep token iii#iii#sleep token iv#iv
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i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:
Restore Ford Cruller's memory
Find Maligula
???
Profit
but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.
[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]
like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.
...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:
[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]
and that's kind of interesting, right?
to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:
"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"
my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.
so what is going on here?
in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:
"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."
other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.
the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.
[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]
i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!
we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.
like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.
i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.
#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#bored waiting at the airport so you get more psychonauts meta from me#the delugionists have been on my mind recently (because i Might Just have an upcoming au lorepost about them and also cults are fun)#so tossing my thoughts up here because people seemed to like the last few times i did this#and also it's my blog and i like to talk :)#related vent i HATE drafting posts in the tumblr editor because if you hit crtl+z to try and undo a formatting change#it deletes like half the post you just typed out#(yes i did it again while i was writing this. yes i'm still salty. why do i even bother)#what else... this is just becoming a disconnected thoughts dump#but if you've seen my posts you knew what you were signing up for when you hit the button to expand the post tags#there's new art coming hopefully this weekend if i can get it finished! it's more mermaid au designs#i'm two and a half weeks late for mermay but it turns out starting a new job and moving house doesn't leave you with a ton of free time#but that's okay it's never too late for mermaids#omg and artfight's coming up next month too! geez#i gotta make refsheets for the fsau trio because i would LOVE to get art of them#and this year i don't have a thesis to crunch on so i might actually have time to participate#oh and then in august i'm having top surgery! will make a proper announcement post for it at some point#i say 'announcement'. it's just a life update but it's nice to share#i'm super excited about it :)#i might end up blogging the process and recovery but obviously it won't be going here lol. i'd put it on my main#idk if anyone would find it useful but when i first started looking into surgery i had like very little idea about the whole process#and it's only through joining a bunch of online support/discussion groups that i managed to find more info and resources#so hey it might be useful to share? we'll see#our flight doesn't land for another fifty minutes so now i'm just writing in the tags because i'm bored#alright i'll proofread this and then post it when i land and have signal again. peace out yall hope your pride month is going well
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Janeway gets away with so much insane shit because she saw it all when she became a lizard
#she becomes a Borg and fucks with the timeline nonstop and it works every time#every day is threshold day#star trek voyager#threshold day#I have a more extensive write up in my mind#but this is my thesis statement#there's another post saying Tom Paris never gets touched by the Borg cause of threshold#the tiniest incursion factor in relativity? threshold foresight#admiral Janeway's intervention in endgame? threshold foresight#the present the past they're both in the future the future is in the past#it's part of why she's so powerful#can you imagine how much the triplets know? damn they were born with the universe inside of them
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Let’s all point and laugh at him!
#dean forrester is a clown#anti Dean forester#there were really people defending him in the notes#but like#very weakly lol#never seen one of them put up any kind of worthy defense or rebuttal#they never give a solid reason why we should support this creature#or they fall back on Well Jess is Bad Too#I continue to write my PhD Thesis on why Dean Forrester Should Get Eaten By A Dinosaur
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okay so turns out i've never posted about these two here so please welcome Hannus Barbarous (college of lore bard and famous playwright played by @anonprotagging, is also responsible for the cultural phenomenon that is Scoobus Doobus™) and Biscott Cortinarius (mycologist and wizard by training, necromancer by necessity, played by me and currently investigating whether or not people are the fruiting bodies of a grand cosmic mycelium)
they are neither married nor divorced nor necessarily even on good terms but Good God They Sure Are Something™
#miodoodledavinci#they are everything to me#they are so fucked up in the own special ways and together they simply make each other........worse??? better?????#hannus wasn't exactly helping people break into mausoleums prior to meeting scott#and scott wasn't exactly obeying most laws prior to meeting hannus#so it's a net (shrugs loudly)#they are two academics in entirely different sectors and yet they Will pull two all nighters in a row to spontaneously write#a 300 page thesis on the theological implications of Dizzy Izzy And The Speckled Prickle Brush (children's book) (ages 5-9)#i don't know what's wrong with them but i want them to keep getting worse <3333#the coolest emerald division
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What if I just developed social skills to be able to actually make new friends in person and then used those skills to get a new phone number and pack my bags and run away to a place where no one knows me and all my past mistakes and fuckups and started over there without going into social isolation
#i needed to hand my expose in in february and got an email about it this weekend and agreed to hand it in on tuesday#it is now sunday evening and i just got another email about it but thinking about opening it makes me want to throw up#she's so nice and i don't want to see her scolding me for AGAIN not sticking to a deadline#what if she tells me that was the final deadline and i won't receive a grade for that class and so i won't be allowed to write my thesis#until next january? I wanted to graduate this autumn. it's april and i haven't even started on my thesis and i have like three bullet point#for the expose; and idek if I'll be able skillwise and mental health wise/adhd wise to actually write the stupid thesis#like what if i can't do it and then i've spent the last one and a half years on a degree i won't get in the end and then i won't be able to#apply to a lot of the jobs i thought actually looked good#@god give me some social butterfly skills and I'll give or throw most of my stuff i don't absolutely need away so i can just..#go somewhere new. start over. and not become even more socially isolated than i already am.#does anyone know what a panic attack feels like because i'm having suspicions that i might have finally gotten them this year#but didn't recognise them as such because it could be worse#so anyway. god grant me some social friend making skills#if you can't do that at least throw in some adhd and depression treatment. i am sick of this.#and by this i mean the way i've been living my life at least since i left high school; probably even while still in high school#vent posts#mine#i love my online friends so much but i can't meet them outside to sit in the sun or chat about anything at all or go have coffee together#or or or you get me
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I loved it when y7 made the arakawa family be paralels or mirrors or foils or whatever to each other, it made them sooooo interesting!! Arakawa, Sawashiro, Ichiban and Masato all have qualites that connects them as well as separates them in drastic ways!!!
And I loved it when y8 for added another layer with Ebina & Ei-chan because they're literally just a "what if the arakawa siblings were Both evil and worked together" scenario... The way they both use the love and dedication the remaining family has for the ones they've lost against them is just really intriguing!!!!
#noone talk to me about the arakawa family I will black out and talk for hours on end#I don't consider myself a proper understander of them yet but I will study and maybe one day I'll type up an actual analysis post#It'll probably be about sawashiro & ichi and how they're practically The Same Guy but in a different flavor#In another world I write a detailed thesis about the depth of this familys dynamics and explaining each one in depth.....#infinite wealth spoilers#iw spoilers#nile talks#rgg
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mmm somethings been rattling around inside my brain about queerness in xenofiction (warrior cats centric cause that's obviously mostly what people are talking about in my internet circles) and I know around here I am preaching to the choir but w/e. I feel like i may have made this post before but i’ll do it again until i feel like i’ve crafted all of my thoughts correctly
everyone knows there’s always like. some shmuck on twitter or youtube comment sections, complaining about how gay cats just don’t make sense ~realistically~
and the common argument back is always something along the lines of “these cats have complex society and religion and talk to ghosts and sometimes have magic powers, and being gay is where you draw the line? it doesn’t have to be realistic”
and something just rubs me the wrong way about that argument, not that it’s WRONG, it’s not wrong, xenofiction by definition is all super super unrealistic. I think it’s more like, it oversimplifies it. because honestly when I make critiques about the warriors world building not making sense, I don’t tend to like the argument beginning and ending at “well it doesn’t have to be realistic” because no it doesn’t but it’s still supposed to feel believable.
i think i don’t like that the argument seems to imply that gay animal characters are at all on par with other fantasy things like talking to ghosts and having powers or complex religion. I also don’t like it when people who are being fake-supportive can condescendingly say “well the gay couple may be completely absurd and unrealistic but I guess it’s ok because its just a silly fantasy :) ” cause like. Like its not unrealistic tho. i don’t like the implication that it’s uniquely unrealistic, if this was a grounded story with no magic or religion and the cat social groups were more inspired by real feral cats, it would still be illogical for some queer cats not to exist.
I feel like it is a more effective argument to point out that straight cats are just as unrealistic, in fact more unrealistic and silly
“cats lovingly and monogamously married-for-life and raising kids together” is the absurdity it should be compared to, rather then the magic elements. Because then the complainers have to contend with the fact that they aren’t bothered by unrealistic relationships between cat characters, they are just uniquely bothered by gay ones.
I mean...not to get tmi but it seems obvious to me this knee jerk reaction people have to rolling their eyes and scoffing when “gay” and “animal character” are placed in the same sentence is based on their insistence on equating the breeding behavior of animals to the romantic relationships of humans. Y'know, they're assuming that when people talk about romantic couples between anthro characters, that that is the sort of thing they are drawing from. When, certainly when it comes to cats, that is a very very poor equivalent. Cat mating behaviors are not affectionate or long lasting--they actually seem quite stressful, and then the father runs off to find more girls and probably never calls his one-night-stand again.
this is why I am really not fond of “mate” being used at the go-to replacement for husband/wife in xenofiction. Consider just coming up with a brand new word for your animal character’s version of romance! maybe they have types of relationships and words for them that humans don’t even have! but “mate” feels like. an action, nothing more. It doesn’t inherently imply love. frankly I think more people should be anthropomorphizing mates as simply Business Partnerships where the business is in desiring offspring, as opposed to husband/wife.
Just like....ok if you’re going to use the real behavior of animals as at least the loose inspiration for your anthropomorphic character’s behavior, surely pair bonding would be a smoother translation to what we view as a romantic couple?? not mating?? because pair bonded animals are the ones having consistent pleasant interactions, and being physically affectionate, and working together in life, sometimes even raising each others kids together.
And keeping that in mind, frankly you could argue that gay-coded cats should be the norm. (not that I think pair bonded creatures should always be interpreted as a romantic coded relationship, you could interpret some as platonic or familial or simply allies needing to survive. The point is no matter what route you go, you are projecting some human experience onto animals who’s minds and feelings we cannot ever actually understand. So to make it coded as a gay romance is just as reasonable as making it an adopted found-family sort of affection. You can go any route and be the same amount of unrealistic.)
If these losers actually want reasonable cat fiction, no one should have romantic affection for anyone! and if two cats have kittens together, it should be treated more like a short-lived antagonistic business partnership where you part ways immediately after. If you only criticize one type of romance for being “unbelievable and silly because these are CATS for crying out loud 🙄” but you don't feel “distracted” or “taken out of the story” about the other type of romance, then this aint about realism my guy, sounds like you just have some baggage to unpack.
I am beating people over the head with a very big sign that reads “Whether you’re writing about cats or birds or aliens or fantasy people or whatever, you cannot grant any creature the ability to love without all the variety and complexity that **naturally** goes hand in hand with those messy emotions. If the creatures can fall in love at all, then there must exist the possibility for some of them to be queer about it. And if you view queerness as unnatural, then we don’t have a writing disagreement, we have a fundamental moral disagreement about life. And I can’t help you there, that’s your problem! But I refuse to let people benignly hide behind a “simple desire for more realistic-feeling fiction uwu” as a defense!! (gay people are real. It’s true! I checked!!)”
#i have to think about this a lot bc someday i am going to hopefully publish an original cat story with a lesbian protag#and then i am going to have to listen to some version of these arguments for the Rest Of My Life#i feel like someday i could write a thesis on queerness in xenofiction and how the whole sentiment of 'the natural' has been distorted#-by shitty political agendas since forever. The Natural became an unquestionable bludgeon bigots use against anything that feels 'icky'#and those sentiments have of course leaked into the general publics perception#and of course it crops up in Xenofiction first!!! the genre that is peoples attempt to rationalize the animal world#and lazy xenofiction writers just regurgitate this sanded down unscientific limited perspective of what ~natural~ behaviors look like#WHERE is that quote Ursula made about watership down#and like and like. look it SNOWBALLS and we live in a SOCIETY--#*grabs the youtube comment section goers by the lapels and shakes them around*#DO YOU THINK IT IS TRULY **NATURAL** THAT SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE THIS KNEE JERK REACTION AGAINST QUEERNESS IN FANTASY#BECAUSE SOME PART OF THEM HAS BEEN LED TO BELEIVE THAT BIGOTRY IS THE NATURAL STATE OF THINGS#AND QUEERNESS AND DIVERSITY EXISTING IS JUST SOME QUIRK OF MODERN SOCIETY#THAT IS OUT OF PLACE AND '''''UNREALISTIC'''' IN ANY FICTIONAL SOCIETY THAT IS MEANT TO BE CLOSER TO THE ~NATURAL WORLD~#you think YOU'RE THE ONE WHO IS CONCERNED ABOUT REALISM AND RATIONALITY IN THIS CONVERSATION I AM BITING YOUR KNEE CAPS RN#yarrow speaks#long post#warrior cats#technically but again this broadly applies to xenofiction As A Whole animal and humanoid fantasy species alike
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yearning for my shitty little studio apartment and its mouse problem . and general closet-like appearance .
#happy to have had tree time for a week#and to have seen my fellas (cats- two)#but i need quiet#i need to be able to not talk for hours at a time!! for days even!!!!!! for a break from constantly face and posture checking!!!#i miss being naked . just generally being naked . also#i head back on sunday thank god#then it is paper writing and finals hell#but i'm at a 99-100% in all my courses#so unless i fuck up tremendously i should still be on the straight a+ train#it is just a matter of writing. you know. words. making them work#my profs are all excited to read my papers!! think i'm doing great topics!! including my thesis!#my prof and overseer was v v happy w my draft presentation last week#so those are all wonderfully helpful little snippets#AH all to say that i look forward to going back#and seeing my neighbours again#ahhhh
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The Risen/Fallen chapter lineup so far...
Inspiration hit me like a fucking truck today, so I might have Chapter 2 up tomorrow or the next day, much more quickly than I anticipated for a brand-new chapter!
Anyway, my plotting document for this series revival is an absolute monster right now. I'll share the current list of chapters I have planned out. New chapters with new content are bolded.
How Narinder Takes His Tea (posted on Tuesday)
Crown
Ray
Not Quite Paradise
Daydreamer
How to Be a God For Dummies
The Apple Murder Case
Satisfying ASMR: Cat Purring to Help You Fall Asleep
A Friend and a Catnap
I'm Jelly Baby
Shine
Ordinary Happiness Is Not Enough
Dice-Roll Observation
Until You Wake Up
With You
To the Endless Blue Sky
Coloring
Break
Scars
Our Love Song
I'm pretty sure I'll keep it to twenty, but with a plethora of details/character interactions/a couple subplots I want to add, we'll see. Once I have a chapter posted, how quickly I post the next chapter will heavily depend on whether or not it's a rewrite of a chapter I wrote for the first publication of this series. Newer chapters will obviously take more time. Though there's much more I want to add to existing chapters, the rewritten ones will probably come out more quickly.
#hannah's rambles#me once again writing random updates like I'm giving a press release about my fanfic lmao#narilamb nation I'm prepared to put my whole bootyass into delivering#my uh “doubled” word count for this series is looking to be more like... tripled#because after writing this series the first time and moving to my established narilamb oneshots#I have had so many thoughts abt them pre-relationship#still wrote some other pre-relationship oneshots but#hmm should I include those in this series? I think I might just let them stand alone#for y'all to find as bonus content lmao#Okay I need to go to bed I have a meeting with my research advisor tomorrow and I haven't finished the poster for my thesis research#next up in Hannah's adventures: narilamb goes to the american geophysical union conference
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i'd like to imagine ren's own personal worst nightmare is the fact that he's probably acquired a handful of fans around the akademiya who see him as a gifted yet edgy loner archetype and want so badly to be the special person who manages to earn his favor.
#𝟎𝟎𝟒 : 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥. ◟ hc .◝#( he's haunted by the I Can Fix Hims )#( mildly horrified even )#( they don't know what they're trying to sign up for and he refuses to let them try )#( he is attractive and sad and talented there is a 100% chance he has accumulated a fan club of some form )#( it's just the fact that it stems from a complete misunderstanding of who he actually is )#( done gathering followers let him write his thesis in peace )
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on third season of daredevil and honest to fuck i would literally make an altar to the director(s) and cinematographers of that show holy shit. AND THE EDITORS. The shots they take, the emotion and feeling it embodies, the hint of gothic in their episodes, it’s all so artistic and full-bodied and i could make a five page fucking essay on just how amazing that show is
#probably a whole damn thesis#you’d think the quality would go down after the first or maybe second season#as is wont -want?- to happen with most series#but this shit just kept getting better#i loathe to see disney do a remake or continuation of it just because i KNOW they’ll mess it up somehow#it’s just- the show is— and the sjwjdjAHGAH#daredevil#and dont even get me started on the characters and the development#i have never seen such well-written characters in live action media#matt murdock himself is so hateable but in the most likeable loveable way#AND LAUREN PAGE#pls i can’t keep talking about them cuz i’ll just write the goddamn essay in the tags
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working on a sweet lil spring fic to post on the weekend hopefully BUT as soon as i’m done i’ll be getting to asks n fics !!! wait for me my beloved anons…. my little angels (read: moots)………
#my asks have been piling up lately T—T IM SUPER EXCITED TO ANSWER THEM THO#have so much tasty stuff to discuss (am currently writing a thesis on shoko for the anon who didn’t see her appeal… wait 4 me 🙏)#ari noises ✩
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