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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 4 months

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thoughts on fanfiction, perfectionism, and being enough

I'm pretty sure I'm ill and half-asleep and the Good Omens fandom has destroyed my last tenuous grasp on reality, but I am making a post anyway not knowing what I'm going to say. Because that's what this site is for, is it not?

*holds out hand* *waits for you to take it* Hey, you know, you're never going to be done. You're never going to look at something you made and think it's perfect. It's never going to be enough. It's okay to stop and it let it be imperfect. The earth didn't just birth life into just the right conditions, it made creatures which evolved and went extinct, ice ages which ended, volcanos that destroyed life and volcanos that preserved cities for millennia. It made jagged rocks that would be smoothened by rivers and stomachs that would hunger, rivers that would flood and rivers that would run dry.

Create imperfect things and give them to the world. Let the world create from it in turn in an endless cycle. Like Milton on the Bible, like BBC with Sherlock Holmes, like anyone writing fanfiction of their favourite show... Let your creation be imperfect, so you can see all the million ways in which people try to perfect it. All the million ways in which perfection can exist. That's the beauty of fandoms and fanworks. It keeps the creation evolving, keeps it breathing and alive. It becomes the work of a million people, and carries their stories with it in a little back pocket.

And maybe we were made to be imperfect too. Our hair tangles just to be brushed, our arm itches just to be scratches, our hand clenches just to be held and unclenched. There are odd shapes that make us up but they fit in with everyone else's, in handshakes, in bridal carries, in a parent lifting a child, a rescue worker lifting a victim, a girl kissing her wife, a child hugging his toy, a person holding their hands in prayer or in pain.

I'm trying to remind myself of that, because it's so easy to keep wanting more, to believe that there will be a point at which I will be satisfied with what I have done. Even in this fandom, I look at my ridiculous summaries I accidentally wound up making, and look at someone's beautiful meta blog and I feel like shrinking a little bit. But in real life, I'm a designer and an artist, a reader and poet and songwriter, and someone who has been a writer the past eight years, if not all my life. Have I done enough to qualify for any of these roles? Who knows? It shouldn't matter to me, and it shouldn't matter to you, whatever you love doing or are doing.

It will never be enough, you will never be enough for yourself. Can we try to make peace with that little gap in ourselves that acts like a vacuum to keep sucking in more and more effort and things? It'll never be filled. That's okay.

*squeezes your hand before letting go* Isn't it amazing how imperfect and fucked up we all are? Isn't it beautiful that we don't have to sit and stare at statues we cannot touch, but we get stone that we can keep carving all we like? That creation starts with imperfection? I don't know if I'm making sense anymore, the medications are kicking in and my eyes are closing. But I love all of you, everyone who is a maggot and everyone reading this post, too.

Take this *holds out a seashell* it's pretty and it's broken and the animal that made it his home changed it, the sea changed it, and I hope you change it, too. That's all.

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baura-bear · 4 months

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Guys I promise we’re joking

#or are we #newsies #joseph pulitzer

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flirting-with-suicide · 3 months

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Mooties, mooties, i fear this may not be as platonic as i once thought, mooties i fear i actually crave his company, mooties i am able to fathom a peaceful moment with him, mooties i am fucked

#friends #or are we #idk hes hard to read and im insecure

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jessepinwheel · 4 months

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I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend

#maybe the true eldritch horror is the shrimp we met along the way

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camping-with-monsters · 20 days

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For those of you who weren’t able to get 100% of the total solar eclipse today… I gotchu <3

#THE MOON WAS OVER THE SUN THE MOON WAS OVER THE SU #we were in the 100% area like I just casually live here lmao #april 8th eclipse #total solar eclipse #solar eclipse #2024 eclipse #April #photos #eclipse photos #eclipse #2024 solar eclipse

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stargoyle · 18 days

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"This person has a secret onlyfans!" "This artist does NSFW commissions!" "This author writes porn on the side!" I cannot begin to tell you how swag and awesome that is.

#text post #sex work is normal its not dirty or criminal why are we still freaking tf out ove this

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sunbentshadows · 2 months

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Hey all, you know how internet searches suck now? When the results are awful, full-of-AI, death-of-the-internet levels of bad?

Start appending date constraints to your searches - "before:2023".

My results have gone from 90% AI bullshit to ~60% usable - which frankly at this point is a huge improvement.

#information death of the internet etc #legit this has been SO SO helpful #shout out to mastodon infosec server for this one #before 2022 we did not really have the AI-content-farms because. the tech did not exist to the public.#and you can knock back the date if need be #obviously this does not FIX the problem but #me.txt

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miniaturecatmentality · 2 months

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guys I just found the greatest video on the internet

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necromimetics · 6 months

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can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.

#sky.txt #we were talking about how some people conceptualize nonbinary as like a 3rd gender #rather than a huge spectrum of experience #and he just hit us with that

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theriverbeyond · 7 months

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i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

#trb.txt #me at myself you are NOT ALLOWED to get takeout again this week we have food at home 😭

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yeehawpim · 6 months

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Edit: school pt 2

#original comic #we go together #artists on tumblr #webcomic #comic #my comic #my art

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titleofpersonage-p01 · 2 months

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#palestine #free palestine #israel #israel is committing genocide #i understand both sides of the argument in the comments #but the fact that this can even be some what believable is concerning in itself #always remember that an “us vs them” narrative is dangerous #we cannot deny that innocent lives are being slaughtered #i just want this war to be over #but thats not something thats going to be easily done

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nothazellevesque · 2 months

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a man self immolated in front of the israeli embassy in washington dc yesterday. not just any man. an active member of the us air force. he live streamed his death, and said that he refused to be complicit in a genocide any longer. he said that compared to what palestinians were facing every day, setting himself alight was nothing.

let me reiterate. an active duty air force member burned himself alive because he was so disgusted by what the us government was openly supporting. he live-streamed his own suicide, so the whole world could bear witness as a man in his military uniform set himself on fire to protest his government’s complicity in the horrors that we have all been forced to watch happen in real time. he became a new horror. footage of the immolation blurs him out the moment the fire catches, but you can hear him. it is over in seconds, really, but you can hear him screaming. he shouts “free palestine” until his body physically cannot make any sounds other than guttural screams of agony. and then he falls silent. a police officer arrives and points a gun at his still burning body, shouting at him to get down on the ground. and it is over.

his name was Aaron Bushnell. he was twenty five years old. and he isn’t here anymore because the political ruling class has decided that genocide is perfectly fine as long as it preserves imperialism. in the coming days, people will try to discredit him. to say that he was mentally unstable. they will try to bury his actions to save face and defend israel’s propaganda. do not let them. aaron knew what he was doing. he knew what he was doing when he put on his military uniform, set up his twitch stream, and made his final walk up to the embassy. he knew what would happen to him when he flicked that lighter. do not let them forget. aaron’s blood is on the hands of the political ruling class.

#free palestine #free gaza #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #Aaron bushnell #aaron’s livestream likely made it so much harder to bury this like the media did to the last person who self immolated #the least we can do is not forget him #gaza strip #gaza #palestine

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suiheisen · 10 months

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i watch baseball for the side quests (ps: this baseball player also makes fruit cocktails midgame)

#please… when he started decorating it with sunflower seeds #when the commentators were like: he actually tried to pour water in the moat #;_______; i love #baseball can not be a real sport #my fave moment is still mantis-chan perched on victor robles’ cap. the tandem we deserve #but this. this come close #the nhl should let opposing players in the penalty box build a snowman together #lourdes gurriel jr #arizona diamondbacks #baseball #mlb

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despazito · 4 months

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Telling young zoomers to "just switch to linux" is nuts some of these ipad kids have never even heard of a cmd.exe or BIOS you're throwing them to the wolves

#IM intimidated by linux #kudos if they can pick it up god knows we need more computer fundamentals literacy

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letmebegaytodd · 4 months

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tragedy enjoyers when even good intentions lead to ruin

#we love to see it #ok to rb

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