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depressedacadamia · 3 years

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How do you passive aggressively say ‘Fuck you’ in flower? Part III

Summary: New owners, new friendships and new beginnings... but maybe there's a linger of old history there aswell.

A/N: Helloooo!! It's writers month starting August so I've posted all the prompts and there are also the fandoms you can request. Please send a request, its always fun to interact with the readers and hear what content you want to see!! That said, here is chap 3!! I hope you enjoy and make sure you comment and enjoy!! <3 from phi phi!!

Read on A03 Read part I on Tumblr Read part II on Tumblr

Will couldn't believe his luck. Of all the things he could have been told, it had to be this.

He held the printed note in between his thumb and forefinger as he grumpily read aloud the note hidden inside the fortune cookie. Calypso looked excited as her hands gripped the side of the table with passion.

“So? What does it say? Are you going to marry skull boy and live happily ever after with a cat?”

Wills scowled. “ No, that’s ridiculous. I hate cats. Maybe a dog. Or a goldfish.”

“Yeah, but goldfish don't live for as long as a cat could,” Calypso pointed out, her pinky finger pointing towards Will. “Now read. I want to hear your fortune.”

“Ugh. You aren’t hesitant to take what you want but sometimes you lack intuition; try and be more intuitive."

Calypso looked at him, with disappointment ranging across her face before shrugging and returning to her food. Will, who was expecting a much larger reaction, was offended.

“Excuse me? You begged to hear my fortune and now you just ignore it? You’re a terrible friend. I bet you wouldn’t run into a fire to save me.”

“You’re right. I wouldn’t.”

Will gasped. Calypso continued her sentence, with an overall sense of coolness. “ I’d send the fucking fire patrol, police, moutaion resucuers, heck, I’d send the grandma next door to me if she had even a slim chance of getting you out of there.”

“Awwww, You do love me!”

Calypso grunted. “It’s only because I refuse to let anything other than myself kill you. Now stop hugging me and scram; you’re ruining my course of digestion with how hard your arms are wrapped around my stomach.”

But Will refused to oblige as he wrapped his arms around his best friend's stomach, listening to her complaints and completely ignoring them.

“What do you think it means?” Calypso spoke over a mouthful of food.

“What?”

“The fortune cookie thingy. What do you think it means?”

“It means I should be more intuitive, that's what it said.”

Calypso facepalmed, now understanding why the fortune cookie told her best friend what it told them. Even to the most oblivious person, it was obvoius that what the fortune cookie had told Will was not to simply be more intuitive but instead to -as the author would say- Open your fucking eyes and see what’s in front of you . But, as the author, I can tell you that William Andrew Solace is such an oblivious character that if I were to shout that at him, he would simply stare at whatever was sitting in front of him.

The next Saturday

“Are they coming?” Meg tugged on Will’s sleeve. “ Will, are they going to come today?”

It had seemed that, surprisingly enough, Meg had taken a great liking to Will’s so-called new ‘friends’ and in particular- Nico, which just so happened to be perfect for Will. It was already terrible that Will had to deal with them showing up only once in his beloved shop, let alone the idea that they may come again the next weekend and ruin it entirely for him, like the previous.

“I don’t know Meg, why do you care?” Will asked, his tone slightly agitated, out of all the people who had visited him at the shop, Meg just had to take a liking to these.

“Because that Nico guy is super cool. But don’t tell him I said that- and you guys can’t make out in my shop, no matter how cool he is.”

“This isn’t your shop and it isn't Calypso’s either, Dya know that, right?” Will reminded Meg as she went on about the new customers.

A sharp jab, that Will could now confidently identify to be Calypso’s elbow, hit his side. “Oi, What do you mean it ain't my shop- it basically is. It’s not like the previous owner ever cared about it.”

Will’s ears perked up at the words ‘previous owner’. “What do you mean Previous owner? Do they not own it anymore?”

“Did you not hear?” Calypso stopped braiding the rose into Will’s hair after seeing his surprised expression. “ We have a new owner. They offered the old one loads, and I mean loads of money for this shop. Apparently it’s this young sophisticated woman who just throws money whenever she wants.”

“Why do you sound so happy?”

Calypso’s finger’s in Will’s hair stopped braiding for a second. “What do you mean why do I sound so happy? We have a new rich owner. That means we will get better conditions. Imagine all the better quality wrapping we can get for the bouquets!”

“But if they're the kind of person to just throw money about, will they really take care of what's theirs? Or will they just send their own cronies to keep everything tidy, while paying them the minimum possible? And in this case, those cronies are us!”

“You’re imagining the worst of the new owner.”

“No, I’m not! Why am I the only one who hates the idea of a new owner!” Will yelled, grabbing the rose in his hair and ripping it out, throwing it at the entrance of the door. Will wasn't one to raise his voice but he couldn’t help but feel frustrated- why was everything changing so much!

Maybe it was fate, maybe it was destiny, or maybe Will was just that unlucky, but in that very moment, Nico and his friends all walked in.

It seemed they had all been causally conversing as they walked in.They were quickly silenced by whatever was occurring within the florist; Percy was halfway through grinning and dropping his jaw at Will's sudden outburst. Afterall, the last time he had seen Will this agitated was in middle school when he stole Will’s plastic stethoscope that his father had supposedly gotten him.

“Are we interrupting?'' Frank asked. He may have been on Nico’s side but he figured that perhaps barging in on an argument wasn’t the most respectful thing one could do.

“Trouble in paradise?” Nico smirked as he picked up the ruined rose that Will had thrown to the floor in a rage. He twirled in between his fingers and looked at the shade of pink; he glanced back at Will and decided it greatly complimented his skin tone and the cute blush he’d get whenever he was angry.

He frowned at the ruined rose and placed it on the counter before walking back to Will.

“The trouble only started when you set foot into this shop,” Will retorted, very much unappreciative of his presence at this moment. He still couldn't believe that the shop was getting a new owner! Sure, the old one had barely shown up and basically left Calypso entirely in charge but how could Calypso be so casual about it?

Nico ignored his attempt at a snide comment and walked past him, gesturing with his finger to follow behind him. “I want a flower. The one you threw. What was it, a Rosa Ausrumba?”

Will, slightly surprised that Nico had managed to identify the binomial name for the rose, raised his eyebrow. “Yeah.. how did you know?”

Nico shrugged, not offering an explanation as Will went ahead and fetched him a packaged gentle hermione rose. As he handed it over, he couldn’t help but let his mind wonder who the rose was for. It was a soft pink, the same type of rose that Calypso insisted he wear everytime he worked at the shop. Will knew that pink roses symbolised a lot of things but the question was, what exactly?

Was there anyone Nico knew who he’d give that rose to? It wouldn’t make sense for it to go to Leo, afterall, it wouldn't compliment his hair or skin tones: rather, it could work with someone like Hazel- since she was his sister, it would make sense for Nico to give it to her.

Calypso had always forced Will to wear that species of pink rose because she said that he had the hair for it and his blush and the colour of the rose were indistinguishable but most of all, it was the friendly gesture she had made when he first started working there.

He felt Nico’s fingertips brush against his as he handed the rose and a jolt of electricity sparking between them.

Shit, static shock.

“Ow!” Will jerked back, dropping the rose and rubbing his hand. He was about to ask Nico what the hell before he realised that the rose was on the floor. It wasn’t like the rose was going to be ruined or destroyed now it was on the floor or that it particularly angered Will to see the rose there. It simply saddened Will so much that he felt compelled to pick it up; maybe it was because he was so used to being forced into wearing it everyday or maybe because it was meant to be Nico’s, either way, he bent down to retrieve the flower.

It seemed that Nico had the same idea because their heads collided and Will was sent stumbling backwards onto his butt.

“Ow!” He cried again, rubbing his head. Nico felt his eyes widen at Will’s words and quickly he grabbed the rose and kneeled in the space between Will's legs, with his hand scanning Will’s face of any injury.

“Are you okay?”

Will frowned at the considerate question, wondering if Nico was mocking him or not. “Why do you care?”

That question threw Nico off guard. Why do you care? Why did he care? That was a good question he had yet to ask himself. Why did he care so much about Will? Why did he decide to come back? Every week nonetheless.

“No reason.” Nico shrugged. ” I just wanted to make sure your clumsy ass didn’t break anything.”

“Your head hit mine!”

“Yeah but it was you who decided to go after my flower,” Nico argued, clutching the rose in his hand. He started peeling off the wrapping until he had the rose alone in his hand.

“What the hell are you doing? You haven’t paid for it yet!”

Nico ignored him as he handed Will the rose. Obviously, Will took the rose from Nico’s hand and held it. Why did Nico want him to hold his flower for him?

“What?” Will was confused. “Why am I holding your flower?”

“Because I gave it to you.”

“To do what with?” Will inquired, his eyes oblivious. For someone who slept around, Will was not one who knew much about romantic rituals.

Murmuring something under his breath, Nico tilted his face away and let the loose strands of his black hair fall over his eyes elegantly. Will didn’t know if he had hit his head too hard but he could have sworn that Nico was slightly blushing.

“What? I didn’t catch that.”

“I said,” Nico took a dep breath, “The flower is for you and your stupid hair.”

Will must have looked relatively confused because Nico kept on talking. “Because you wear one whenever you work here? And when you threw a fit, you also threw your rose and it got ruined.”

Will, dumbfounded, simply stared at Nico. It wasn’t like he could braid his hair right here; Was this where Will was meant to thank him?

“Uh… thank you? I mean I could have easily gotten Callie to do my hair again but thanks anyway.”

Will realised that he was still sitting on the floor and immediately got up, still clutching the rose firmly in his hand, like he was afraid that the wind may just carry it off and he may never see it again.

In silence, him and Nico walked back to the counter, where surprisingly enough, everyone was getting on quite well. Percy and Frank were challenging Piper and Hazel about some vague petty thing,while Leo and Annabeth spoke to Calypso and Jason told Meg about Nico.

Annabeth had noticed quite quickly that Calypso had a crush on Leo and it seemed that Leo was aware as well. However, despite that, he didn’t let it get in the way of the conversation or the potential for a very beautiful friendship. He didn't like Calypso in that way. It was true that he had many previous lovers both men and women but Calypso was his friend, nothing more.

Nico noticed that Will was simply holding the rose and not wearing it like he intended him to.

“Why aren't you wearing the rose?”

Will stuttered, his face burning up slightly from embarrassment. “I..uh,well...I can’t really, um, braid my hair.”

Will was waiting for the insult. For a laugh, maybe a jeer. Instead he was surprised by the reaction that met him.

“I do. Give me the rose and sit in that chair.” Nico pointed to the chair behind the counter. Will, oblivious as ever, took a seat. He didn’t expect to feel familiar hands working on his hair. It felt like deja vu, feeling Nico’s fingers weave themselves into his hair, it felt like they were in that storage room all over again, making out on the small couch.

Wondering if Nico was also reminiscing that moment, he turned his head ever so slightly and caught Nico’s eye.

Nico turned Will’s head. “Stay still, I can’t do your hair if you keep on moving.”

Do my hair? He’s going to do my hair?

Will anxiously sat in the chair, fiddling his hands as Nico sectioned his hair into 3 parts and slipped the stem of the rose into one of the sections. He began braiding Will’s hair, slowly softly, dare I even say- Lovingly.

Will almost shivered when he felt Nico’s fingertip graze his scalp. His fingers braided like magic and within a matter of seconds, it felt like he had finished. Nico walked in front of Will to have a look at his handiwork from the front and reached forward. His finger brushed the side of Will’s ear and for a second, Will thought that Nico was going to gently cup his cheek and kiss him.

Instead, he reached and pulled free a small lock of hair from the front of his face so it dangled elegantly and complemented the rose that lay in his hair.

Will gulped. “ How did you learn to do hair?” His voice was extremely hoarse.

Nico’s voice seemed lower when he spoke. “My sister. I used to do her hair sometimes when we were at camp.”

Will nodded absent mindedly and focused on why his heart was beating so fast. The only reasons he knew why his heart would ever beat fast near a person would be if they scared him, forced him to exercise or if he had just slept with them.

Since Nico hadn't made him run, and they weren't sleeping together and Nico didn't make him fear for his life (yet), he was purely confused as to why his heart felt like it was a butterfly fluttering and any second, his ribcage may burst open and let it fly away and with it, his heart.,

He stared at the back of Nico’s head as he walked back to his friends who were now arguing about the difference between a white and an ivory rose.

Will did not not see Nico on Sunday at the flower shop. Nor did he see any of his friends.

Friday, Next week.

“Will, put that beer bottle down!” Calypso yelled, her entire state chaotic. There was flour everywhere and Will couldn’t tell where the kitchen started and where the mess ended.

This is what happened when he offered to babysit.

It was one thing to babysit a teenager or perhaps a 10 years old but a 7 years old? A seven year old and a 5 year old? A combination from hell itself. Overly energetic, disrespectful and disobedient, seven years olds were the worst kind of children to babysit.

It had started a while ago when his mother’s friend who’s name actually was Karen had to leave in a rush for some emergency (although Will had highly doubted it) and left her kids with Will's Mother. Being the wonderful woman she was, Will’s mother held onto them for as long as she could but she had a job, as most people did and unfortunately it was a job that required her to not enjoy her Friday nights.

This had led to her leaving the children with Will. Afterall, he was a responsible adult.

Okay fine, scratch the responsible part. She had left the children with Will because Calypso had promised to be there and in all blatant honesty, it was obvious that without Calypso, Will would be the biggest mess out there.

It seemed, however, that babysitting children was harder than both of them had anticipated.

“Callie, I give up. These kids are the devil's spawn. If they die, then tough luck for them.”

Calypso groaned and slammed her head onto the table before perking up with excitement. She grabbed her phone and dialed a number. Will overheard a vague conversation and simply watched, very confused.

Calypso set her phone down. “Okay so I have figured out how to fix this.” She pointed to the massive mess in their apartment.

“How?”

“You’ll see.”

Will didn’t trust the mischievous smile that came across Calypso’s face.

Nico was chilling on his bed with his phone in his hand, hovering above his face. He did not really have much to do so here he was, scrolling through social media. He was meant to be doing something with Percy or Jason or maybe Hazel- he really couldn’t remember and he couldn’t care less.

That was until he overheard a conversation from Jason that he could only describe as interesting. Only a few minutes later, Percy showed up very begrudgingly muttering I’m only coming because I wanna see where the little fucker lives.

As far as Nico was concerned, there was only one person who Percy called ‘the little fucker’ and why were Jason and Percy paying him a visit?

“Wait-” Nico threw his legs over the side of the bed, sitting up.”-Where are you guys going?”

“Calypso’s place. She needs some help babysitting? Or something like that. Annabeth’s call was kinda vague.”

“You’re going to Calypso’s place because Annabeth told you to?” Nico tilted his head, confusion evident in his voice. Jason took a deep breath before explaining.

“Calypso called Piper who gave the phone to Annabeth who called me to tell us and Hazel to go to Calypso’s place and help her and Will with whatever they needed help with.”

“Why is Will at Calypso’s place?”

Percy quickly interjected. “ They live together.”

That statement alone was enough to make Nico choke on the air he was trying to peacefully breathe.

“They what?” He managed to wheeze from in between the heavy coughs that racked from his chest.

“They live together,” Jason repeated innocently. “ Why?”

“Yeah,” Percy smirked, figuring out the reason behind Nico’s coughing fit. “ Why do you care, Nico?”

“No reason. It’s just a bit out of the blue.”

“So you don’t deny that you care!” Percy yelled excitedly pointing his finger at Nico. Nico grabbed it and twisted it with such ferocity, there was a crack and Percy let out a cry and pulled his finger back pouting, blowing on it like it was a hot dish.

“I twisted your finger, stop blowing on it like it’s a hot potato and let's hurry up and go please,” Nico groaned, rolling his eyes at Percy’s dramatic overreaction.

Percy, under his breath, murmured,” Somebody’s desperate.”

Nico slapped his shoulder.

When Will opened the door to his apartment, he didn't really know what he was expecting. Maybe someone like Thalia Grace or Reyna- a close friend of Calypso.

He certainly was not expecting his arch nemesis and his cronies to show up. He wasn’t in the best state of mind and he felt like any moment now, his feet may fail and he’d be out cold on the floor.

What was worse was the fact that Hazel had already arrived- without Frank as he said he ‘wasn’t the kind who liked children’. So now Will was here having to behave himself as if he were some host and they were his guest

His brain told him that this was exactly what this was.

But another part of Will didn’t agree. It was more, there was some more sinister motive behind why they were here. Sure, Annabeth had told them to come and god forbid someone disobey Annabeth but they clearly came here with their own reasons. Whether all their reasons were the same or not, Will did not know.

“What do you want?” Will deadpanned as he held the door halfway open- just like his eyelids. He was already considering shutting it in their faces. However, it seemed that Nico wasn’t having any of it as he simply pushed his way past Will, into the half cleaned up apartment.

“Oh, Nico! You’re here!” Hazel whisper-called out from the living room . She had the 5 year old’s head resting on her lap as it dozed off and the seven year old lay next to her, their eyes drifting off to sleep.

“Yeah, I’m here. What about it?”

“I thought you might want to cook something? I’m really hungry and I’m pretty sure Calypso’s been running around on an empty stomach trying to keep 2 children and a drunk person under control.”

Nico paused before wrinkling his nose. He walked forward to Will and moved his blonde hair out of his face to get a better view of his eyes.

“You’re drunk?” Nico looked around the kitchen and spotted the beer bottles. “Jesus, are you a lightweight or something? This shit ain’t even strong,” Nico grunted as he grabbed a very much incoordinate Will to the kitchen and sat him down at the counter. He got him a glass of water and rolled his sleeves up before quickly sifting through the fridge and cupboards.

“What happened to him?” Percy asked, walking slightly at the blushing Will sitting at the counter sipping water out of a straw.

“Hehee, Nico has very warm arms.” Some water dribbled out from the side of Will’s mouth as he giggled.

“He’s… wasted?” Jason squinted his eyes. “ I thought people with blue eyes were meant to have the highest tolerance to alcohol.”

“Nooooo,” Will whined. “ That’s not it. Blue eyed people are moree likeleyyy to have a dependency on alcohol. We did this in class-”

He was cut off by his own hiccup.

“Fucking hell,” Nico muttered as he pulled out ingrediants. Hungrily, Jason and Percy eyed the food.

“Whatcha making?” Percy asked, slinging his arm over Nico’s shoulder. Immediately, Will got out of his seat, objecting to this. However, before he could do this, he tripped and fell on his butt and in turn knocked his head into the floor. He was out cold within seconds.

“Did he just pass out?” Percy asked, poking at Will’s body with his foot only for Nico to be outraged and push Percy with such vigour, he ended up splayed onto the floor. He quickly kneeled beside Will and shook him gently, trying to wake him up.

“Flower boy? Hey, wake up. Will? Get up. Get up right now Will.” Nico began shaking him, his voice starting out in small quiet whispers. The alarm in Nico’s voice called over Calypso who batted her hand and laughed.

“Oh you have nothing to worry about. He does this everytime he gets too drunk. He’s a real lightweight, trust me.”

After much chaos and argument, everyone calmed down and Nico got cooking. As someone who was majoring in food tech, Jason and Percy would always make him cook meals for them. While Nico always pretended to be bothered and annoyed by this, he secretly loved it, meaning that he could make his friends smile with something he also loved- food.

Sure, he sometimes skipped meals or didn’t have time to actually eat, but he was constantly surrounded by food and making it was so chaotic but he enjoyed it and he enjoyed the rush of serotonin he’d get when he tasted the final dish.

“Food’s ready!” Nico called from the kitchen. Will had been moved to the sofa because Calypso had been told that under no circumstance was anybody to ever go into Will’s bedroom. Jason came in to the table and started laying it, as their usual routine went. Percy brought cups and Hazel, who normally did not dine with them, was talking to Calypso. They took their seat at the table and waited for the boys to finish laying it and serving food.

Nico glanced at Will who was dozing off on the couch peacefully. “ Is he not going to join us?”

Calypso shook her head. She knew when Will was feeling the way he was today, the only thing he could do was sleep it off. Nico had to admit, he was disappointed; he was hoping to see Will’s reaction when tasting the food. In fact, he had put extra effort into making it perfect just based on the possibility that Will may have been joining them for dinner.

They ate silently, with only the sound of the occasional collision of the fork against the plate echoing into the apartment.

“This is a nice place…” Percy started, trying to ease some of the tense silence away. Calypso gave him a short nod.

“Yes. It’s mine- Will and I share it.”

“Why?” Nico asked, his jealousy overtaking his actions. Was he really at liberty to ask such a question? No. Was he going to anyway? Absolutely.

Calypso raised an eyebrow at the question, while she slowly raised the fork to her mouth. “Does it matter why?”

Nico, staring at his food, paused. “No,” He sighed. “ I guess it doesn’t.”

Hazel, who wasn't allowing this, quickly intercepted. “It doesn't matter but that doesn't mean we wouldn’t like to know? Right guys?”

“Yeah!” Percy agreed a bit too passionately. “Tell us Calypso. How is it that you- someone of your high standards is living with somebody like… Will.”

Percy's abrash statement was rewarded with a hard smack to the back from the Italian boy sitting next time, glaring at him enough daggers for Percy to become Pinhead. Percy, midway swallowing, began coughing frantically which despite the urgency of the situation earned no sympathy from Nico who sat there as Percy choked and Jason gave violent slaps on his back.

“Ugh, well. We’ve known each other…” Calypso stopped. “ Are you sure you’re okay?”

Percy, almost red in the face, nodded frantically and mimed with his hands to keep talking. Jason reached over and poured Percy another glass of water.

“Uh, well… We work together but we’ve known each other for a long time.”

“How long? I don't remember Solace ever mentioning you.”

Calypso smiled slightly. “ If I’m correct, you two weren't and still aren't really on the kinds of terms where you discuss your personal life.”

“Still… I would have thought that… forget it.”

The awkwardly silent dinner continued with the clanking of cutlery against plates. Secret glares were passed along with uncomfortable shivers but all in all, the dinner managed to run smoothly. The guests helped clean up and finally, late into the night, they stood at the door awkwardly, as Calypso dismissed them.

“Are the children… staying?” Hazel innocently inquired, her eyes falling on the small children who lay asleep on the sofa behind Calypso.

Calypso scratched her head- slightly unsure herself. “Uh, I guess. Until they get picked up at least.”

“Oh… I guess I should stay to help out then?”

“No! Please, I don't want you to ruin a good night's sleep over this. I’m sure I can handle this. It wouldn’t be the first time.” Calypso reached for the door. “Get home safely.”

Jason and Percy, who realised that they were no longer welcome, did not hesitate to leave- the same couldn’t be said for Nico.

He didn’t know why he was hesitating- it wasn't as if Calypso and him were friends in any way. However, it seemed that for some odd reason there was a connection between the two that they both strongly cared for a certain blond headed lightweight. But they also both cared for a certain grinning engineer who spoke Spanish.

With his hand shoved in his pockets, he slowly turned his heel as if a magnet from afar was tugging on the metal heartstrings with his heart. His head was bowed towards the floor as he muttered the words under his breath.

“Tell him to call me when he wakes up tomorrow… We should probably talk and get everything out of the way.” Nico’s hair fell in front of his face, his eyes darting anywhere but Calypso’s face as to avoid her seeing his expression.

“Are you dating Leo?”

The abrupt question had Nico’s head snapping upwards so fast that I- the author- feared that he may have broken his neck had he moved any faster. The obvious answer was ‘no’. They had broken up long before Nico had even known someone like William Andrew Solace even existed; however, he didn't know if he could give such an honest answer so freely.

It was clear that Calypso was not just asking Nico this question for the sake of fun. She liked him.

And for some reason, Nico did not like that.

Leo wasn't his. He had his own feelings and decisions to make. But Nico didn't think she could handle the idea of Calypso being able to have both Will and Leo in her life- whether any of the relationships were platonic or not.

He had Leo, she had Will. It was only fair that it should stay that way.

But that said- If, if, he ever dated Will… would he give up Leo for the sake of fairness? Life isn't meant to serve everyone with equality. You get what you get and the rest you must fight for; Life was clearly a capitalist.

“Why does it matter to you?”

“Because,” she paused as if her reasoning was obvious. “If you are, I can’t let you play with Will or Leo like that.”

Nico snarled. “ Who said I was playing with either?”

“Isn't that what it's called? When you date two different people behind their backs?”

“I’m not dating Leo!” He yelled in frustration. Perhaps it was the wine. Or watching Will pass out on the floor and Percy poking him with his foot like an animal. Or maybe it was the fact that Will never tasted the food, but for some reason whether it was unbeknownst or not, Nico snapped. “Happy?”

Calypso smiled. “Very.”

26 notes · View notes

wincore · 3 years

Note

AGREEEE, WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND IS THE WORST esp since im in uni full time and i work 9-5 on the weekends which means... no breaks for me ever.. 🥲

MASSIVE CRUSH ON OIKAWA OMGGG I SUPPORT THIS!!!!! but i am unfortunately much older than 15 and still enamored by 2d men 😔 life’s rough like that HDJWKDJ YES ATSUMU CAUSES PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE.. HES THE WORST!! btw.. ive heard that the oikawa to atsumu stan pipeline is very real... so if u get to s4.. u may develop atsumu brain rot like me 👁_👁

OOO alright run on, extracurricular, vincenzo, true beauty, love alarm, & perfect crime. NOTED!! ive actually been meaning to watch extracurricular for a while now, it looks so interesting!! now that it has the wincore seal of approval i must watch 😤 OMGG SAKURADA DORI I SAW HIM IN ALICE IN BORDERLAND!! super good show but really gore heavy at some points 👁

ahh ok thank u for the reccs, ive been thinking about starting demon slayer too!! shoplifters sounds really interesting :oo crime??? i havent watched a full movie in a while so i will def check it out!! THESE R ALL GOING IN MY NOTES APP.

NEXT YEARRR omg it sounds far away but i know time passes so quickly nowadays so I WILL WISH U LUCK ONCE AGAIN 💛 i hope u update us when the time comes!!

UGHWHHD EVEN THIS SYNOPSIS IS MAKING ME MISS UR WRITING?!? I LOVE THE WAY U WORD IT... “given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear” AHHHHHHH omg “he’s in a relationship and doesn’t rlly care about the soulmate system” THIS IS ALWAYS SUCH A PAINFUL SCENARIO IN SOULMATE AUS PLSS!!! Wait is the soulmate of yn gonna be an oc/vague character or another member :O EITHER WAY... PAIN! THIS IS GETTING ME SO EXCITED AND U HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT JAEHYUN’S LIKE IN THIS FIC YET

RUNWAY CHARACTER CAMEOOOS YESS I LOVE RUNWAY YN!!!! i actually reread it last night and ugh i was reminded how much i love yns personality... just the process of experiencing all tht self doubt with them!!! so real & makes u root for them :’)

“if jeno plays edward i need him to that apple scene like taemin did” WHHHHHWJDJJWJDBW THIS MADE ME CHOKE ON THE WATER I WAS DRINKING LMFAO

GODDDD THESE TROPE/MEMBER PAIRINGS, HARD AGREE HARD AGREE!!! HAECHAN AND RENJUN ARE E2L 100%!!!! i think bc the ppl in the bff2l category cant convincingly hate yn back LOL

“gets complimented on his lyricism often but like every song’s about you” STOPPPPP HES SO PERFDCT FOR THIS TROPE!!!!!

OMG I SEE EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN ABT SICHENG IN ROYALTY/CHAEBOL AUS... i think like u said it’s because of his poise & the way ppl are generally in awe of him but also bc of his reluctance to open up!! more reserved until he trusts u... funny and kind but sometimes perceived as aloof... those r some prince tendencies! “what are corporate businesses but modern day kingdoms” LMFAOOWJDJ SERIOUSLY THO

“mans really said i will not give you any onscreen idol personality to work with” HDJWJDJWJSJ LITERALLYYYY this is why i have trouble reading jaehyun fics sometimes bc sometimes they can feel “inaccurate” but its mostly just bc there’s no Standard Personality Stereotype to go off of. but a random & uncommon trope i think he’d pair well with is exes to lovers!! Yes im basically just a jaehyun + angst advocate.

“i think most of them would pair well with bff2l??” FACTTTTTTT and no im not just saying this bc its one of my favorite tropes.. heh... i think i told u this before?? but ur like the main reason i started enjoying e2l!!! i didnt like it before bc i love the PINING in bff2l but then i started reading ur works n was like OH SHIT! THERES LOADS OF PINING HERE TOO...

i think yangyang is not bff2l or e2l, he is in his own category which is Annoyer2Lover HDJWKDJ ex: troublemaker, wasted nights

OMGGGG I DID NOT EXPECT ROYALTY AU TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE LEAD IN THE SURVEY??? and cryptids is so low 😔😔 cmon guys, vampires r fun!!!

WE R LITERALLY WRITING ESSAYS TO EACH OTHER RN BUT I LOVE IT 🥺🥺 its a such a nice break to read ur response when im burnt out from studying!!

OMG IM GOING THROUGH #moonwrites AND IM LITERALLY AN IDIOTTTT IVE BEEN OFF TUMBLR FOR SO LONG I DIDNT REALIZE THAT ROMEO ROULETTE HAD A PREVIEW OUT????

“And I get what out of this?” “Me?” IM IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ALREADY LMFAOO

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.” ?!?!???? THE WAY JAEHYUN IS A LITTLE SHIT! THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE BOTH SO FUN PLSJWJDJEJ IM MORE EXCITED NOW!!

pls disregard the part in my last ask where i asked abt romeo roulette.... i had no idea all of the information i needed was sitting right in front of me 😔😔

- tata

WHAT 9 TO 5 ON EVERY WEEKEND???? the system has failed you this honestly feels like a villain origin story 😭 when does it get better???

ALSO let me answer the other asks separately for better readability lol we really out here writing essays GOOD THING i have practice writing but like. this is infinitely better to write 🥰

PLSSS SOMETIMES I WILL SEE AN EDIT/TIKTOK OF OIKAWA AND BE LIKE DAMN I REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP I MISS THIS MF also are you daring me to ruin my life for 2d men bc i will do it without hesitation. wait till i watch hq again and get that atsumu brainrot with you he seems annoying enough for me to like ^_^

AND YES PLS I WAS SO ABSORBED IN IT!! extracurricular was the most gripping show i’ve watched in a while like yes enough teen romance give me two unhinged teenagers doing crime 🤩 AND OMG??? THAT’S WHERE WE SAW HIM TOO and although niragi was literally vomit-inducing human trash, sakurada dori is like. a good actor. except i hated coffee&vanilla which starred him it was literally so cringe i couldn’t 😭 i blame the writers for that though. IM EXCITED FOR S2 OF ALICE IN BORDERLAND THO i really like horror (and i can tolerate gore if ive been desensitized enough) and like i read the manga too!!! the games were really interesting (although morbid).

😭😭 MY NOTES APP IS FULL OF RECS FROM FRIENDS ALL OF THEM HATE ME FOR NOT WATCHING THE SHOWS BUT LIKE. i binge 3 or 4 at a time and strike them off and then go 6 months without watching a single tv series hhh.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I SURE WILL UPDATE !!! it’s so exciting to think about grad school sometimes :33

AHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT AND THE PREVIEW TOO SGSDJKDS there’s a few differences in the actual fic i think bc i changed up the language (and i dont remember what else bc i refuse to look at my writing) JAEHYUN RLLY IS A LITTLE SHIT he’ll be like hm yeah im pretty chill :) and then proceed to beat yn at her own game at times. (she wins mostly dw) the fact that i made her soulmate cha eunwoo like girl if i were you i’d crash their relationship 🥱 (jk) but like. jaehyun too is 🤩 despite being dry af

ASDKDSKDS YOU REREAD ALL (ALMOST) 19K WORDS ??? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THAT FIC SM AAAAHHH IM FEELING LIKE AN ACTUAL AUTHOR 🥰 i loved runway yn too they were like boss attitude with 20% anxiety.

LOOK JENO BETTER BE PULLING MOVES LIKE THAT TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS 😤 if he hits himself in the forehead with the apple, bonus points bc that was true comedy (as invented by taemin)

AND YES. LIKE I KNOW MARK HATED DONGHYUCK SO MUCH HE WANTED TO LEAVE SM BUT LIKE HE’S TOO NICE WITH EVERYONE ELSE 😭😭😭 i cannot picture him pissed off apart from that summer fight </3

thinking about dejun getting rejected by a girl he wrote a song for. rip brother.

IM GLAD YOU PUT THAT INTO WORDS BC THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!!! he’s got all of these regal qualities but he’s still human ykyk so it makes for the most amiable person on earth 😌 i love this characterization of him!!

oof exes to lovers with jaehyun... i had a similar idea a while ago (with theme song sincerity is scary by the 1975) that i discarded bc i don’t think i’m cut out to write that 😭 (YET) so i will keep this is mind. u r so right about jaehyun feeling inaccurate bc it’s like he’s very mild in personality onscreen sometimes?? so him having strong personality traits makes me go 🤔🤔 that man is overreacting. (jkjk but like you get the idea)

WAIT RLLY OMG BC OF ME???? i would never enjoy e2l irl bc irl dudes are 🤢🤢 and if they annoy me i will end them. but in fiction the mutual pining and initial disgust at yourself for liking the other??? helllooo 🤩🤩🤩 especially if it’s in a romcom style <3 bff2l is also better in fiction bc if the relationship doesnt work out irl and the person become uncomfortable with me i will just get annoyed jskshdl

LMAO YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT YANGYANG HE’S JUST THAT™ DUDE skgkhs he feels like someone fun to hang out with but he would annoy you the whole time. also he is cute 🥰

AND EXACTLY!!!! IM HAPPY FOR ROYALTY AUS BUT CMON. LOOK AT THOSE VAMPIRE TEETH. feel like media ruined vampires for people 😔

THIS IS SUCH A NICE BREAK FROM STUDYING HONESTLY!!!! im like working on two semi-large projects AND studying course and out-of-course material simultaneously so my brain is a little fried. thank u for this 😘

#tata 💖#anon #answered

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knif3doll · 4 years

Text

“ EEEEEEEE!!!!!!! “

a squeal was heard from Nepeta’s room, it was a fairly common occurrence, ever since Nepeta had discovered this website called “Tumblr” and they have been rambling on and off about it for WEEKS.

Sollux grumbled and sighed. Can’t they just stop shrieking??? it was getting annoying and for sure, it was bothering the other trolls as well with Nepeta’s consistent squeals of fangirling, whatever that was? was there even a neutral term for that??

nepeta dashed into the general living room , nearly jumping out of pure excitement, they were holding fanart that they did from that fandom called “warrior meowbeasts” meowbeasts but warriors?? what was so interesting for that to get an audience? Sollux dismissed that thought and was met with Nepeta squealing once again about their headcanons of some of the characters.

“ ugh, better get kk to at-leatht dithtract them. they’ll probably get along with their weird interethtth. “

Sollux pulled out his cell and trolled karkat, hopefully the grumpy troll would answer. probably not. probably will.

— twinArmageddons {TA} started trolling carcinoGeneticist {CG} —

TA: hey kk.

TA: nepeta’2 back on theiir fandom 2hiit agaiin

CG: OBVIOUSLY, I’M IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU DUMBASS.

TA: ju2t gonna iignore that 2hiitty iin2ult, anyway nepeta ha2 been 2creamiing about theiir 2hiip2 for the la2t two hour2

CG: LET ME GUESS, YOU WANT ME TO DISTRACT THEM JUST BECAUSE WE GOT SOMEWHAT SIMILIAR INTERESTS? IS THAT WHAT YOU MESSAGED ME FOR?

TA: well, ye2

CG: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MESSAGE ME, CAPTOR? IM LITERALLY 5 FEET AWAY FROM YOU, THAT IS ONLY A BIT OF WALKING DISTANCE. YOU COULD’VE CALLED ME OVER BUT NOOOOO. YOU JUST HAD TO MESSAGE ME.

TA: ju2t two me22 wiith you lmao

— twinArmageddons {TA} ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist {CG} —

Karkat groaned, that dumbass Captor, he was literally 5 feet away from him and the glasses wearing troll didn’t bother to even get up and walk over to him which didn’t require much energy to spend. Nepeta had quickly ran back into their room and came back, this time with warrior meowbeasts merch. the other trolls weren’t really much in the fandom scene, and obviously had better things to do than to listen to Nepeta ramble about her fandom all night, even terezi wasn’t quite of a fan of the fandom thing.

“ karcat!! wanna look at this cool and purrfect warrior meowbeasts merch i got? “ nepeta asked, holding up pins of characters and some arcylic charms, pretty much any small item the oliveblood could manage to hold onto.

karkat looked at the items the oliveblood had in their hands, oh wow, they were really well-designed. the characters looked surprisingly cute, he could see why nepeta was so absorbed in this ‘fandom’ thing, he used to be in a similar way with his rom-coms. karkat stopped monologuing, oh great, he’s becoming the character he feared most.

“ hey? karcat? you there?? alternia to karcat? “ nepeta questioned which resulted in karkat snapping out of his clouded thoughts.

“ oh. yeah, sure, nepeta. the designs look really nice. you probably paid a good amount of money for them to get such high quality, huh? “

“ i was also the same with my rom-coms, always bought the newest dvd once it released. they’re pretty outdated now though... i grew out of the rom-com phase anyway. “

“ though, i was uh, curious about this fandom thing you’re in. How’d you find it? “ nepeta beamed at the words, getting all jumpy because finally someone was interested in their fandoms!!!

“ oh!! i can tell you all about it!! its this website called tumblr or something. it’s really neat! “ nepeta answered, grinning. They softly gave karkat some of their acrylic charms, which in turn, karkat had grasped onto the charms to examine them more closely, the detail was down to the last bit, these were really high-quality despite being such a small item.

“ come on!! i got all the books and stuff we could read together! “ nepeta spoke and grabbed karkat’s wrist to gain his attention.

“ Nepeta, wai- “ Karkat was yanked before he had finished his response.

the two trolls ended up binging warrior meowbeasts theory videoes and reading the books within a whole night, nepeta having reread it for the 20th time, being sure not to say spoilers which would’ve ruined the rest of the series for karkat.

— twinArmageddons {TA} started trolling carcinoGeneticist {CG} —

TA: oh no diid you become a fanatiic liike nepeta now?

CG: FOR YOUR INFORMATION, NOT REALLY. I ENJOY THE SERIES THOUGH. LET PEOPLE HAVE THEIR FUN, CAPTOR.

— carcinoGeneticist {CG} ceased trolling twinArmageddons {TA} —

#homestuck #drabble #writing #homestuck fanfic #homestuck fanfiction #my writing #made a challenge on the HS amino - culture challenge - i went with fandom culture!#even though there wasnt really a bunch of fandom related stuff.. but i had to rush it because of how late it was #Hope yall enjoyed reading anyway!!

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sovinly · 6 years

Note

Thoughts on Eowyn?

Oh man, so many thoughts! Thank you so much, you are EXCELLENT. Here goes!

(Tumblr ate my answer andI accidentally copied over my copy of at 50-60% of it, so I am RETYPING ALL OFTHIS)

Éowyn is one of my top favorite characters, and always hasbeen, for many reasons.

I loved that there was this… cold, fucked-up woman who wasstriving for a heroic end because it was a satisfying conclusion. Because shewanted to have worth.

Like… here, we have this woman who is stern and capable andhas lost so much, her parents and hercousin to death, her brother to banishment, her uncle to sorcery. There is theservant of a sorcerer in the king’s hall (and with the absence of her mother,her aunt, an older sister, a female cousin, herhall in part by rights) and she cannot do anything about it.

She desires Aragorn not just because he recognizes her, butbecause he offers leverage – not just to keep her from ever being so powerlessagain, but for her kingdom. Because her kingdom is besieged, falling, stillstumbling in the ruin of attacks by a powerful enemy (and with a more powerfulenemy lurking behind him, whom they have spurned), because the king is aging,the heir is dead, and her brother is banished. Because he is wise and good andknows her lands.

And he only offers her pity and understanding and it hurts, even if pity isn’t used in theway we use it now, not because it’s hurt feelings but because she wants to beequal. She wants to be cared for. She wants somany things, and because she thinks she can’t have anything, all she canwant is death.

(I’m so disappointed by the way the movies treat her,honestly. She’s stripped of so much agency and context, she becomes hollow andsuffering, and her pain, not her fierce and burning desire take up muchof the story. She’s painted as naïve and honestly pretty selfish in a lot ofplaces, and it’s so frustrating.Because, in Irish and Norse myth, and so subsequently in Rohirric culture, herheroic aspirations have context and value; her cool capability and frustrationhas a thousand echoes. And they go “Nah, mate, she’s a Sad Lady with Many TearyExpressions who Just Wants to Fight but only because she Doesn’t Understand [Love].”I feel, actually, that the fundamental letdown of the films is theirunwillingness to allow for nobility: many secondary and tertiary characters whoare there as foils are stripped of their nobility and gentleness and it’s… ugh,it’s really frustrating. They’re still fun adaptations and good cinema, but thatpart makes me so sad.)

Okay now for a cut, because this ended up being 2k of Feelings, and that’s a lot:

Anyway, Éowyn is competent and capable and wise, but she isangry and exhausted and in so much pain. By rights, why shouldn’t she have aplace on the battlefield? So she goes, and she fights, and she doesn’t die. It would have beenperfectly narratively satisfying, however tragic, if she had, but she doesn’t. Sheis proud and noble and wise, and she earns her place in the halls of herforefathers, but she lives. She livesand she resents it.

Her pain is as legitimized by the narrative as any otherhero’s. The darkness hanging over her, not just the shadow of the enemy but theshadows of isolation and helplessness and depression and PTSD, is not madelight of. She struggles to make sense of her place in the world when she feels shouldbe dead, or dying in the subsequent battles. And it’s alright that for her,healing isn’t about rest, or even kindness, or idle, quiet contemplation.

She’s allowed to be restless and frustrated and desolate. It’sallowed, that she finds herself again through connections and friendships andconversation. Through walking and experiencing and chafing still at all therestraints placed on her. Éowyn is so tired of restraints, is as stubborn and indomitableas any male hero who does his best to abandon bedrest. Her desire to help, to rideto glory and honor, is not a bad thing.The desire to be heroic and recognized is not a bad thing. (She already is: the irony is how little she sees it.)

But she realizes that it isn’t the only thing. And shedecides to heal.

I see… a lot of conversation about how Éowyn is lessened by herending, that her desire to heal and grow and not die a vainglorious death issomehow sexist. But I really don’t think it is, at all. Not just because itgave me hope: hope to see someone recover from such aching, intimate desire tobe done with the world. Hope to seeher find recognition and companionship and more than anything else understanding.

It’s because the hands of the king are the hands of ahealer, we see it over and over again, are told it is the mark of a just and true ruler, and I don’t think it’s a mistakethat we see those lines in such close proximity to Éowyn too. Narratively,Éowyn is as valued, is as upright and distant and wise as any of the maleheroes, and her declaration tells us explicitly that she reaches that same pinnacle of worthiness. It isn’t because shefought, or because she killed the Witch King, or because she was willing to diefor her king, or because she decided that she didn’t want to pursue death: it’sbecause of all those same heroic qualities and that she decides she doesn’tsimply want glory or death or to be the vanguard of the enemy’s death, shedecides that she wants to build and heal and better the world that has curtailed so much of her.

(And her appointment with Faramír to the reparation ofIthilien, and the appendices, make it further clear that this is what we’re being told.)

Let’s move, though, for a moment, into some of the stuffthat I didn’t really have the context for when I was reading these books as akid.

So, my woman Carol Clover (I love herrrrrrrr and her work onboth Icelandic sagas and film analysis is SO GOOD she is SO SMART

Which, obviously, there is some… very sexist andmisogynistic stuff underlying these traditions (Jóhanna Katrín Friðriksdóttir,who is also amazing, talks about the romance sagas and how the shield-maidensand specifically the maiden-kings are… horrifically punished for holding powerand authority, thaaaanks changing social values and continental influence, butanyway). But the thing is, these traditions of women carrying power and takingon these roles, is there, both in the influential source material and in thetexts.

Culturally, narratively, Éowyn has every right to want to goto war for her realm, especially at the start of her appearance in thenarrative. Her father is long-dead, her cousin and near-brother has been slainby their long-standing enemies, her brother is banished, and her uncle the kinghas been ensnared by sorcery (which comes with its own Irish and Nordicbaggage, honestly). And then these strangers come and restore the hall of theking and then war looms. So Éowyn goes to war, disguises herself and picks uparms, and notable, this is important, noone notices or says anything, which I have to imagine to be culturallyimportant.

So Éowyn rides to war. She fulfills every heroic narrativeand role and she is proven right. Sheis there and because she is a woman, not despite it, she slays the Witch Kingand fulfills prophecy, and she is right.Because of her kind wisdom, Merry is there to strike a devastating blow and anancient blade, and she is right. Sheis right to go, because she defendsher uncle and king from defilement and dishonor when no one else can. Heractions, her near-sacrifice, mean that Théoden is able to speak once more withMerry, with Éomer (and so to formally pass on and endorse his kingship, whichis important).

Éowyn is of the line of Eorl, satisfies in every way andmanner the narrative of the Rohirric hero, earns beyond doubt her grace andglory and renown. She closes the gaps in killing the Witch King, in defendingthe king, in bringing Merry to the battle. The narrative validates her: she isindeed a great and worthy hero, has done deeds beyond telling and compare, herpresence is right.

But her death isn’t. Her diminishment isn’t. So she lives,and struggles, and tries to figure out how to be a person who has lived pastthe end of the tale.

There’s a lot, too, in how Tolkien communicates heroism anddescribes worthiness – a lot to unpack, and I don’t really have time to do thathere. The point is… the point is that Éowyn is exceptional, but she is alsohuman. She’s allowed to be human. And that humanity, that sadness anddesperation and suicidal impulse and desire to be valued and seen and worthy, that struggle to cope and keep going,that drive to find refuge in conversation and conviction and moving and doing…it’s important. It’s so important.

Éowyn’s story has always resonated with me. Éowyn has alwaysresonated with me. I won’t go much into her relationship with Faramír, becausethis question wasn’t about him, but that resonates with me too. Here are twohurt, tired people who have been through so much, not just the poison of theenemy but the traumas of human existence. Here are two people who thinkthemselves worth very little, who have been constrained and shoved aside, buthere are their convictions. Here is their nobility and their wisdom and graceand fierceness, here is their kindness and their striving and their hope. Hereare two people, who are exceptionally good,even if they don’t know it.

It isn’t just that Éowyn is the embodiment of a mythictrope, or a twist on it. It’s not just that she’s a female characterappropriately placed in the narrative who evades so many shitty, awfulstereotypes and misunderstandings. It’s not just that she’s complex andinteresting.

It’s that she was so fucking sad and so trapped, by suicidal impulse and social constraints, andshe did the right thing, she did amazingthings anyway. It’s that I cried when I first (and subsequently) read theReturn of the King, because I didn’t think she would live. I didn’t think heremotions would be wrestled with. I didn’t think she would get to heal. “Thenthe heart of Éowyn changed, or else at last she understood it,” and I havenever recovered from that line, because that’s it. That’s it.

It’s that one of my clear sense memories is sprawling halfin the doorway of my childhood closet, the afternoon sun filtering down ontothe plain carpet, and sobbing my heart out because I had hope. There was hope, because of Éowyn, because of that chapter,and I hadn’t known that I could hopeto survive the isolation and the strictures and the loneliness and my owndistant, cold heart. Because I knew I would cling to that, in the years tocome, and I did. I still do. Éowynand her story are burned deep in my heart and my blood and it chokes me,sometimes, that hope. That healing, even when I am healing.

It’s that here was this fantasy, this epic tale, and it wasfull of hope and nobility and sadness (not just tragedy, plain human sadness),and I found myself there. It found me.

So, yeah.

I love Éowyn a lot, and I think I’m due a reread, now.

#sovin the socially awkward #LotR #eowyn #long post #answer memes #I Love Her #I don't think I adequately conveyed how very much #but the fact that I am not ducking the maintags is probably evidence enough #anywaaaaaay thank you for your patience #and thank you for such a GREAT TOPIC TO YELL ABOUT <3 #embroideredcupcake

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gheckoe · 6 years

Text

JAMES’S CURATED QUALITY FANFICTION PRIMER

for @rev0lutions-of-ruin, who tumblr does not like letting me tag

foolish bird avoids ao3 for years and misses out on the Good Shit, but it will be okay! she has THIS now. ft. DUMB LONG-WINDED CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE EXPLANATIONS, because i don’t think you would watch those movies willingly.

lots of selection - pick and choose, but if you don’t read “out of the dead land” i will be very sad. just treat this as really weird queer genre fiction and you’ll be alright. fics with pornographic content are marked as such, but said content is easy to skip as long as you can pick up on the warning signs.

we’re gonna start with the funny stuff.

nanananana BAT-DAD! (no ships, just bruce being a dad. safe for work and hilarious,)

who needs therapy when you have microsoft excel.

tim drake (robin 3) is a transgender teenage disaster. and bruce wayne is just generally a disaster. (same series.)

okay, now let’s get kind of sad. but not TOO sad.

nananananananana BATMAN (and superman)

this one made watching batman vs. superman worth it. not quite. but kind of. it’s fantastic.

i forget what happens in this one but i know i enjoyed it!

snk? why this, james. why this.

bad show, i know, but. formative experience. i figured out i was trans by projecting my feelings onto jean kirchstein. (not sure how, that’s just what happened.)

this one is stupidly fucking huge, in first person, and still isn’t finished.

included by virtue of some weird nostalgia. it’s half a million words long. try the first few chapters; i can’t guarantee anything that happens. don’t fucking judge me.

boring, punch me in the feelings already. more angst!

STEVEBUCKY

i don’t think you’ve watched the captain america movies, so i will explain them.

the saddest, gayest shit you will ever see. will fuck with your heart, ideally! but (as per always), skip the porn. this fandom is really big on it. UGH.

BUT it’s based off of movie adaptations of comic books, so the backstory is... ridiculous. i will summarize it for you. (tumblr ate this so here goes again)

THE DYNAMIC/history/massive goddamn ship manifesto

two guys, sitting in the great depression, two feet apart because it’s not socially acceptable to be gay

steve: tiny, blonde, always mad and big on SOCIAL JUSTICE. gets into fights for SOCIAL JUSTICE, despite growing up in the great depression when SOCIAL JUSTICE was not a commonly-known phrase or a common thing. he’s a bit of a shit, and he gets into shit. with his scrawny lil fists. he has all sorts of chronic illnesses but somehow manages to survive in a time with shitty medicine, and grow up to get into MORE shit. likes art, but is (partially?) colorblind

also he’s VERY HEAVILY coded as trans.

bucky: taller, brown hair, very popular but secretly a bit of a nerd (loves scifi, and is good at math). likes dancing, girls, and getting steve out of situations that he’s clearly over his head in and talking shit about it after. a bit of a charmer, etcetera.

there are some good fics from this era (”pre-war”) but idk where they are in my bookmarks. will update later.

so wait, what happens?

bucky gets steve out of dumb situations (like fighting a guy for talking during a movie) for pretty much all of their life. childhood friends until after high school-ish.

BUT, bucky is either drafted into the us army (it’s wwii now) or enlists, and steve is left alone in brooklyn, new york, to get into shit, without anyone to bail him out or prevent him from getting into MORE shit. so he finally manages to lie his scrawny, ill ass into the army, and (as one does) volunteers to get experimented on by the american government.

wait, what the fuck

comic books, okay. don’t @ me.

steve manages not to die! he finds a really pretty, badass lady to bisexually fawn over in the army (peggy carter is a fucking miracle), the experiments are a success and he ends up BIG and cured of all his ailments and with superfast metabolism (no alcohol) and superfast healing. he’s made it! (he basically just got really fast, unrealistic HRT hahaha)

... except the army can’t replicate the embiggening process they did with steve because the scientist that did it got killed, and steve is made into a glorified prettyman mascot to sell war bonds, instead of going to punch nazis, which he would be better at. he is a terrible mascot.

meanwhile, bucky has a shitty goddamn time in the european theatre. it’s terrible. he gets kidnapped by the EVIL SCIENCE NAZIS and put in a freaky camp and experimented on, poor guy.

you said you ship them, right? they’ve barely interacted so far, man. what the fuck.

alright alright i’m getting to it

steve the dancing monkey (in his words) is doing a Morale-Raising tour in europe for the troops and they hate it and he hates it. he discovers that... oh shit... bucky and his regiment (?) have been kidnapped by HYDRA! (the science nazis.)

naturally, he of little training MUST go save bucky, because the people that actually know how to save people know that it would be pointless to try. but steve “dumb shit” rogers will do it his own damn self. don’t @ him either. it’s the 1940s so he doesn’t have a phone.

steve will walk to austria, if he has to!... but he actually just gets a plane ride there, from peggy carter the badass and some other guy who’s not that relevant right now.

he KICKS NAZI ASS, SAVES THE PRISONERS, and MAKES MEANINGFUL EYE CONTACT WITH BUCKY ONCE HE FINDS HIM IN THE EVIL SCIENCE NAZI EXPERIMENTATION ROOM. bucky’s so out of it that he barely even tries to question why his old friend is suddenly hot TALL.

steve and the lads walk back from austria, and he is a Bona Fide War Hero and not just a mascot. he has the stylish grime and everything. on the way, he realizes that the lads are pretty cool, and assembles a Diverse Crack Squad of Guys That Really Wanna Kill Nazis from the cool guys he just met. upon return to wherever they were earlier, steve is made a REAL CAPTAIN now, and his Diverse Crack Squad is at liberty to... go kill nazis.

bucky tags along. he is very handsome and talented at math, so he is a SNIPER and saves steve’s dumb ass (from getting shot by nazis, instead of getting punched in the face) like he used to. the Diverse Crack Squad gears up to take down THE WORST OF THE SCIENCE NAZIS, on a train in the mountains! they can change the course of COMIC BOOK WWII!

you said it was tragic. show me the tragic.

the TRAIN INFILTRATION does not go as planned, and bucky is knocked from the train and falls to his cold, painful, (presumably) death. steve can’t watch.

they catch a REALLY BAD SCIENCE NAZI, but it is a very hollow victory. steve goes and tries to get drunk in a blown-up bar where he hung out with bucky and they were really queer together.

the OTHER really bad science nazi now has a plan to BLOW UP COMIC BOOK NEW YORK! steven will NOT allow this to happen.

he’s also kind of given up on life. he has a flair for the dramatic, and also the ambiguously suicidal.

not that being ambiguously suicidal adds to the Dramatic Romance of this. it doesn’t, and that would be creepy. the point is that steve rogers has a LOT of issues, including the ones that science can’t cure.

this SPECIFIC PLANE is headed towards new york, full of explosives. steve manages to get aboard the plane... and doesn’t even try to escape. he crashes it into the water in the atlantic ocean, saying goodbye to peggy on the radio as it hits. he is also presumed dead. it’s... basically a suicide attempt.

flash forward seventy-some years.

wait, wasn’t he in the avengers?

steve rogers is found inside the frozen plane encased in ice in the ocean. he’s revived (super healing, woop) and... doesn’t say anything, because he’s really not up to expressing feelings.

he has a TERRIBLE time. all of his friends are dead or old and went about their lives without him, and he’s alone in a confusing new world. (but the food is better, vaccines are good, and no polio.) he’s not fantastic at making new friends, because, as shown by him and bucky’s entire relationship, he’s a bit of a sad introvert and just picks one person and... holds on.

blah blah avengers one blah blah, new team and fighting BAD THINGS. but steve is too angsty to make friends. he joins the new security organization that peggy founded, SHIELD, without really inspecting it that well because... he didn’t plan to be alive past flying the plane into the ice, much less in the 21st century. he doesn’t know what he’d do otherwise.

idk that sounds a little slow

he has DEPRESSION. it is a little slow. but it’ll pick up! (not emotionally.) now it’s very anti-establishment action flick. enter CAPTAIN AMERICA (2): THE WINTER SOLDIER.

steve makes a friend. actually, two! sam and natasha are wonderful, and they have some things in common. but steve obtains friendship while realizing that SHIELD is corrupt to the core and actually infiltrated by HYDRA, so he and his new friends have to... burn it to the ground. he “died” (or tried to) to stop HYDRA, and it’s still here and worse then ever. things feel pointless.

to make it worse, he’s fighting this creepily effective impersonal masked assassin on a bridge and oh fuck, oh fuck it’s bucky and didn’t he die years and years ago and his arm is METAL what happened to him, and he’s pretending not to recognize steve.

HYDRA is planning to eliminate sources of resistance for their new world order via shooting them from the air, so steve has to take one specific FLYING DEATHMACHINE down. he does, and brainwashed HYDRA bucky, the winter soldier, is there to stop him.

steve makes an appeal to emotions. “bucky stop you can’t do this”

bucky is confused, but he’s been programmed to do this.

steve tells his coworkers to JUST SHOOT THE DEATHMACHINE DOWN ALREADY, because he’s... given up again. he’s very talented at equating heroism with self-sacrifice/suicide. but he disables the DEATH part of the DEATHMACHINE without it getting shot down.

bucky has been trapped underneath a beam, but steve’s with bucky till the end of the line, even if bucky is brainwashed and lacking memories. steve drops his shield in the water and falls.

it’s another attempt to die. stop that, steve. go to therapy.

bucky doesn’t remember who he is, but he jumps after him. steve is very injured from his fight with bucky, and wouldn’t have survived the fall, but bucky drags him to shore and... leaves.

steve wakes up in the hospital with his new friend sam. they’re going to track bucky down, even if it takes forever.

ISN’T THAT FUCKED UP? isn’t that sad? it’s terrible. now, fics. most of them are after ca:tws, because that’s when the ship got popular. a lot of them center around Finding Bucky and Getting To Know Him Again.

there’s a lot of sappy sad let’s-teach-bucky-how-to-be-a-person-again-and-get-steve-to-be-less-sad but i like the ones that are like sad action movies, or sad queer movies, and less like sad romance movies. my bookmarks are a mess, so here’s the best stuff i could dredge up.

out of the dead land: this one kills me every single time. there’s something terribly cinematic about it. but, as fandom is wont to do, there’s porn near the end. skip that part. ew. it’s an introspective scifi action epic, with just enough identity issues to make you want to cry! READ IT, IT’S IMPORTANT.

this: alternate universe, sans steve “dying.” epistolary. sad, as far as i can remember. (i’d rec the rest of this series but i think it’s best if you read this one first?)

courtroom/media fic. what if the winter soldier got arrested after the movie? (cap fandom does this kind of fake-media thing very well. i just reread it. it’s still good.)

this one isn’t exactly groundbreaking, but it’s a different take on the fandom’s typical post-winter soldier bucky interpretation. quite short, 100% safe for work.

in this one, steve successfully gets drunk, makes some friends, and gains some coping skills. good for dark humour. there’s porn somewhere but i’m sure it’s easily skippable, otherwise i wouldn’t have bookmarked it. not 100% the best thing every but it’s pretty fun.

if you aren’t team s/b all the way then we can’t be friends, but here’s some other marvel stuff i guess

lesbians, ballet, feelings? it’s a rarepair but it’s pretty lovely. au, no background knowledge required. basically a beautiful indie film that’s kind of oscar-bait. you will like this one, i think. there’s probably porn somewhere.

trans black widow. (that chapter only, not sure what the rest is). not very well-written and i have terrible memory but i’m 75% sure it made me cry.

ENJOY! or try to. don’t feel obligated to. but please at least TRY out of the dead land, it is groundbreaking.

#teya #personap #fandom

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yoongihime · 7 years

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do you have a fic rec tag? or perhaps a list of your fave works/authors?

//cracks knuckles// *this is gonna be a long ass post* WELL ANON as of recently I haven’t been reading that that much (school just started) but YES I do have a tag it’s called reads but to be very honest, I have been very bad at reblogging fics into that tag so you’ll just find a lot of Missy (which makes sense we’re practically two halves at this point) and fics people tag me in so I shall make a very brief list that is not at all comprehensive of people I read from and admire very much and just love in general but I WILL TRY. Maybe one day I will get off my lazy (but very busy) ass to make a PAGE (MONUMENT) for these amazing, wonderful, talented and incredibly beautiful people that never fail to inspire me everyday. So without further ado:

!! Fun fact, I have been on this website for too long so I have moved around but the OG’s that I read from (for exo and others) are mentioned in this post but I will mention some again bc my love for them is eternal (lol if they’re still active etc):

@an-exotic-writer yes, sas. we get it. you love missy. evident in this tag here. well I really frickin DO. Please understand my obsession. You can stalk all her writing and I guarantee you they’re quality a f. Favs: sugardaddy!Jimin // merman!tae // vampire!Yoongi (all of which hurt me deeply)

@dvehyun Gabs is low key gone but like high key an Inspiration to be so like… hi Gabs if you’re reading I frickin miss you. If you’re into dark, spine chilling fics she’s your girl. Her entire vampire series killed me and let’s not forget the time Jimin did a little somethin naughty HERE.

@palpitate-hyperventilate Jo is also low key gone but still high key Inspires me. Her style is e v e r y t h i n g to me T.T again I say so much I miss you. THIS ONE is my fav.

@theboyswhomwelove okay please please please read from Laura. True Legend to be honest. Some lines from the trophy are still stuck in my head to this day.

@exoticarmy127 MY FIRST TUMBLR FRIEND T.T I’m sure you’ve heard of her amazing works but if you haven’t well I can direct you to Professor Kim Tae Tae right HERE and he’ll take care of that for you ;)

@sa2ms your resident Sehun lover LOL jk jk but seriously I’m feeling so nostalgic going through this list of people I read from T.T but yes to Sam’s entire masterlist.

OKAY then I slowly evolved into the BTS fandom that I am in today and well, fell in love we A LOT of writing for new people that I haven’t seen since I took a break from tumblr and it was a whole new world:

@baebsaes okay Cherry doesn’t write anymore but I cannot express how much she’s inspired me to actually get back into writing again after I kinda stopped for a long ass time. Her style is so unique and elegant and just something I aspire to recreate, so you can just stalk her writing tag here and be blessed.

@tayegi LU. WHO DOESN’T KNOW OF LU. PLEASE TELL ME. If you looking for a good time and to get wrecked by some smut then please refer to her ENTIRE MASTERLIST. I also been trying to meet up with her in real life IT’S AMAZING HOW WE’RE 40ISH MINUTES APART BUT HAVE NOT MET.

@writingseoul The Goddess of smut in our fandom LOL. I reread Masked so many times and I’m pretty sure I can remember parts of it but at the same time it never fails to give me chills T.T

@bts-for-life Go Big or Go Home WRECKED. ME. OH MY GA. My two biggest biaswreckers in one fic but in all honestly that was just my fav.Once again 10/10 masterlist.

@jungkxook I’m sure y’all know her for her series Hiraeth but for me my favs are Pour Up and Back Seat Serenade actually all of them but like yeah those two LOL. Can you see my soft soft for Taehyung showing or? But yes I love love love her writing.

@versigny I AM IN LOVE WITH KAPPY’S WRITING STYLE. It’s art and her vocabulary is to die for. I’m sure you’ve heard of the infamous Miss Dial which is cowritten by the ever so wonderful @cyphertrip (why is it not tagging T.T) but yes. both their styles, impeccable.

@deerguk ANOTHER PERSON WITH BEAUTIFUL WRITING STYLE. I love fawn’s works so so much they’re so beautifully put together and just magical and just goals. Please proceed to her entire masterlist.

@baeseoul OKAY here’s the thing I’m such a hoe for friends to lovers au and kinda angsty plot with really fricking sweet endings AND she gives me all of that, with the benefit of amazing smut. Yes okay my favs are When a Tornado Meets a Hurricane and A Friendly Favor (I bawled like a little girl I cannot I was so shook why kim tae tae always my soft spot)

@kainks Ashlee can just wreck me with her entire masterlist and I would say thank you. Once again– angsty plot with kinda sweet endings and great smut. My absolute all time fav is Triplicity (AGAIN I CRIED SO HARD MY PILLOW WAS SOAKED)

@jungblue i hate you i love you. I just read it a couple days ago bc I kept thinking that I would be less shook if I prolonged it. Nope. Not at all still fucking #jungshook BUT the first fic I read from her was her Tae harry potter AU Under the Cloak lol naughty kim tae tae. ALSO she is a really genuine person (at least from what I can tell) from the way she takes time to answer her asks and yeah I love very much :’)

@minsvga I will just say that since Philophobia is STILL ON GOING I’m still being wrecked to this day with this series. It’s wonderfully written and I am patiently waiting for more bc JIMIN VS JUNGKOOK MAN. MY HEART HURTS.

@hyacinth-ink wow an OG?? I read I Can Be Your Addiction sooooo long ago BUT I STILL LOVE IT SO MUCH. It’s such a beautiful series that got my heart aching with every chapter T.T But of course I blew through Yuu’s masterlist in one sitting so I will argue that other pieces are also magnificent.

@kittae: PLEASE GO READ EVA’S LATEST CATBOY JIMIN FIC. I WAS SO SO SO WRECKED AHAAAAAAAAAA RIP Me :’) ily Eva but at the same time you killed me.

@inktae: mariiiii. omfg okay so I found mari some time during the middle of exam week probably and then I was eventually making my way through her masterlist when she disappeared and I was heartbroken bc I was falling in love with her style and so since she is back and better than ever please go read Blue Orchids. It will forever be one of my all time favorites and I am so so so happy that she’s back again. I NEED TO CATCH UP ON ALL HER NEW PIECES BC I KNOW THEY’RE ALL PROBABLY GONNA MAKE ME CRY.

@astoryfor-you MY DEAREST KRISS. Please please please go read her FWB!Tae BC I love it like my baby. AGAIN BITTERSWEET STORY WITH SWEET ASS ENDING. also I just love kriss in general so like yeah.. go love her.

@hobibliophile JULES go read her work bc they’re gems ;) lmao I’m a wreck I hate my puns. ANYWAYS I literally binged read all of her work in one sitting and was debating whether reblogging them all in one day would be creepy or nah so I decided against it BUT I REALLY SHOULD HAVE bc then I wouldn’t be here telling you that ALL OF THEM ARE GREAT AND I HIGHLY SUGGEST READING INTO THE WOODS BC IT WAS SO DARN CUTE (LIKE HER)

@jiminniemouse all her stories are my favorites but somehow ALL THE ONES THAT INVOLVE JIMIN ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVS. Like I’m pretty sure Brianna is to blame for ALL of my Jimin feels and the sole reason that Jimin is ruining my bias list. Locked in Love had me crying SO HARD (again a hoe for friends to lovers AU …bonus point childhood friends to lovers AU omggggg) I was pretty sure I fell in love with Park Jimin after reading this fic and Surprise, Surprise had me on. the. ground. bc 1. stripper Jimin and 2. stripper Jimin in domestic setting LMAO

@syugatae I HAVE NOT GONE THROUGH JEN’S ENTIRE MASTERLIST BUT I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHICH IS MY FAV. FOR SURE. Most likely gonna end up being Remember the Night LOL I love smartass Tae so much.

@bxebxee BECKY!! Momma bear. LOL honestly should have included her in the OG list bc I know of her Dark Past but it’s okay EITHER WAY doesn’t mean I love her work any less because wow I’m so glad to rediscover people I’ve lost. But my favorites are agent!yoongi and her royalty series (Impatient got me feeling some sort of way T.T) and well I just love her writing to bits.

@sugajpg IGNIS. My new partner in crime?? AHAH OKAY SO I WILL SAY all her pieces wrecked me in some way m absolute favorite gotta be Devotion BC THE FRICKIN ENDING AHAHAHAHAH. I was like high key frustrated but at the same time I saw it coming so I couldn’t complain ahahh 10/10 and we might be writing a little somethin together soon ^3^

@the95liner SANA. Can I just say how much I love Heartthrob ?!!??! Because my friends to lovers AU heart was so wrecked with this fic and UGH HOSEOK IS JUST RUNING MY LIFE. But yes I love her dialogue skills oh so much, when will I finally be that witty?!?

@triptaech SAM. UGH SAM. I SAY UGH BC HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE. I’ll just rant about her newest one: Home for the Holidays because RA Tae will now have my heart. It was so damn cute but at the same time so hot which is a lot like how Taehyung is IN GENERAL? So yes as you can imagine I am very much in love. Oh OHHHH AND SUGAR DADDY SLASH AUTHOR NAMJOON. omg. she labels it as crack I see it as well placed humor okay?

@btssmutgalore Okay I usually have this policy where I don’t read fics unless they’re completed bc I CANNOT DEAL WITH CLIFFHANGERS. BUT I caved and read SIN CITY which is oh so sosososososos good. I’m so curious though?? Since it’s still on going I’m really looking forward to more character development from both Jimin and OC. ALSO brother’s best friend Hoseok makes my heart ache and ugh we cannot forget about Business

I will compile some of them together (it is currently almost 2am) but that’s bc I simply cannot choose a favorite from their masterlist at this time since I have unfortunately not been through the entirety of it so you’ll just have to stalk them on your own aha:

@monstaccato // @spcywolf // @seokline // @infireation // @greasytae // @zephyoongist // @cuzimsickwithhope // @chimdeer // @yoongguksx // my wife @hearts-of-paper (idk if you’re still posting T.T)

okay I’m preTTY damn sure I forgot A LOT OF PEOPLE. But worry not I shall make a follow forever maybe sometime around June?? So maybe my blog’s Bday or my own Bday aha we shall see. Hopefully by the I shall be better about reblogging fics into the recs tag. FOR NOW PLEASE TAKE THIS LIST. I feel like this made me so tired I fangirled so hard about all of them.

GOOD NIGHT LOVES

#reads #fic rec #replies #LMAO THIS WAS SO DAMN LONG I FEEL DEAD THERE WERE SO MANY LINKS BUT THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR NOT REBLOGGING

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evenstevensranked · 7 years

Text

#50: Season 3, Episode 20 - “Surf’s Up”

Recurring character Zack Estrada invites Twitty to go surfing with him and his friends. Out of jealousy, Louis, who was not invited — invites himself.. which causes all sorts of drama. Meanwhile, Ren meets and falls for a guy named Gil who she has reason to believe might be a merman.

Okay, so I just want to start off by saying… a lot of people don’t like this episode. I looked at some old forums from 2000-2006 recently and so many people were like “This episode sucked!” right after it initially aired, lol. I guess I can see why they felt that way, but this episode is actually one of my personal favorites. Why have I ranked it #50 then, you ask? Well, upon re-watching.. it felt a little flat and sort of dragged on. It wasn’t as funny or strong as I remembered, but I still absolutely love the basis for the whole thing. If we’re looking at what I’m basing my rankings on, this one probably meets only 2 of the 6 requirements - “personal favorite” and “quality plot line.” So, now that you know my reasoning... let’s dive in. (Pun intended.)

In the opening scene, we see Louis and Twitty at lunch when *dun dun dunnnn* Zack Estrada calls Twitty over and invites him to go surfing at Troubadour Point. Now, this episode actually marks Zack’s last appearance. So, without getting into detail.. Basically, Louis has always been super jealous of this dude. Like, incredibly jealous. The jealousy dates back to early Season 1 and spans 4 episodes throughout the shows run. I refer to it as The Zack Estrada Saga. And here, it continues. The third to last episode of the series, and he’s still jealous.

I know that feel, Lou.

When Twitty returns to their lunch table he’s talking excitedly about spring break. Which, piggybacking off of what I said last week, is another reason why I fully believe these kids were intended to be high school students. Because, no middle schoolers I know go gallivanting off to the beach unsupervised for spring break, lol. But, hey! Maybe it’s different in 2017. Nah, yeah. Something’s telling me it’s definitely different in 2017. Middle schoolers look and act 25 years old these days, so.

Louis’ jealousy is very evident when he passive aggressively asks Twitty when he started hanging out with Zack and his friends. Twitty says he went surfing with them last spring break while Louis was at a temper tantrum workshop. This is the first funny moment of the episode. Louis responds by screaming at Twitty on the verge of tears, “nOW YOU LISTEN HERE! I EXPRESS MYSELF APPROPRIATELY NOW!” Louis decides to go ahead and invite himself to Troubadour Point even though he has no idea how to surf.

This episode was always somewhat refreshing to me, because it’s one of the only ones where we see our characters in an environment other than their houses or school. That’s something cool about early Disney Channel shows. They weren’t contrived or restricted to a sound stage on a fake beach like Hannah Montana, for example. They’re actually at a real beach and I love it.

They make a point to show Twitty and the owner of the beach shack rub a sacred lucky surf idol tiki thing and say “Pray for waves!” Louis enters the shack with his surfboard (which is bad luck apparently) and knocks over the tiki. Yikes. This reminds me of The Brady Bunch Hawaii episode, lol. I was just waiting for the bad luck music to play. Zack was already a little annoyed when Twitty told him Louis was coming, so now… his dislike for Louis is pretty strong.

Side note: I feel like Disney Channel totally typecast Brandon Baker as that ~ethnic surfer bro.~ For those of you who don’t know or never realized, he also played Johnny Kapahala (a.k.a Johnny Tsunami). I just came across this cute little followup series Disney did with him last year. Side side note: Brandon is actually biracial (white and fillipino) and they portrayed that accurately on screen in the Johnny movies! Random to mention, I know. But I’m biracial so I get oddly happy when I notice this stuff, lol.

There are actually two mini subplots in this episode, which might contribute to its “off”-ness. We have Tom who’s trying to build a perfect sandcastle. And we have Beans who’s metal detecting, but just ends up stealing people’s stuff. Beans really shouldn’t be there. His bit is useless. I understand it was most likely an attempt to get everyone involved in the fun beach location episode.. but, I feel like there might be too many things going on here.

Tawny is sitting by Tom, all covered up from the sun. Tom asks her why she isn’t helping with the sand castle and she’s like “Oh, I’m just waiting for a little more cloud cover.” And, Tom says “Oh. Right. Heaven forbid a ray of sunshine should touch your precious porcelain skin.” Tom is the best. But of course.. Twitty, Zack and the surfer bros go running to the ocean and step all over the castle. Louis is trailing behind them like a lovable uncoordinated doofus and ruins the remainder of it. Tom is so sad. Bless his heart.

Ren, Ruby and Monique are chilling on the beach too when some guys ask them to hang out. Side note: This one dude who Monique runs away with!! I always thought he looked familiar and as I was watching it again today — it hit me! He went on to be a member of fictional boyband Boyz N Motion from That’s So Raven! Omg. I looked it up just to make sure, and I was in fact correct. His name is Michael Copon. So, there’s that.

Ren is on the dock throwing pebbles and shells into the sea when a guy emerges from the water and throws shells back at her, lol ok. The two start talking and she finds out his name is Gil! Yep. THE Gil who breaks her heart in a pancake house in The Even Stevens Movie. Gil swims away, and Ren can’t help but notice the giant glimmering fin that splashes in the water. I’d honestly be a little confused, too.

My inner subconscious Social Justice Warrior came out a bit when Ren sees Monique and Ruby doing their hair and makeup and says “Ah! Makeup and hairspray at the beach. Very nice, girls. I thought you already met some guys.” To which they respond, “Yeah, and we wanna keep them.” NOOOOOO! Sorry. I hate to view things through that lens, but after spending so much time on Tumblr and Twitter (especially in the current climate of the country) it just rubs off on you! Ugh. You can’t escape it! Anyway, Ren tells them about Gil and the whole fin thing and they find it absolutely hilarious.

Out on the ocean, Twitty and Zack’s crew are bummed because there are no waves. Zack angrily says “Pfft! I wonder why…” And gives Louis the nastiest look as he comes paddling up to them all happy. I feel so bad. Zack yells at him for bringing his board into the shack and breaking the lucky surf idol. The gang desert Louis and head back to the beach for lunch. Twitty sides with them saying “sometimes I just need to do my own thing, man” and leaves Louis alone in the middle of the ocean. My poor baby. :(

I will not stand for this! Protect Louis Stevens at all costs.

Louis goes back to the beach and once again walks right through Tom’s sandcastle. Come on, man! You could’ve walked around it, lol. It’s not even like he was running.. he was casually walking. I can’t. He goes to the dock and finds Ren with binoculars looking for Gil. The two of them have a “conversation” that’s not really a conversation. It’s just them going back and forth ranting about their own problems without actually listening to the other. It’s a cute sibling moment, haha. I actually really love Louis and Twitty’s friendship, though. They’re like an old married couple in this episode. I think it’s adorable. During this scene Louis is so fed up with Twitty ditching him for Zack, so he decides to go surf on his own. Meanwhile, Ren is ranting about Gil being real, knowing what she saw and that she’s not crazy.

“At least your best friend didn’t ditch ya. He’s hanging out with his ~new~ surfer buddies. They’re probably having a good’ol time. Laughing, eating onion rings. Twitty doesn’t even like onion rings! Ya know?! So, it’s weird. He’s probably faking like he likes them!” I love this.

Ren decides to go out on the ocean in a boat and call for Gil by making dolphin noises. She brought sardines to lure him with and everything. This is pretty funny and one of my favorite scenes because it’s rooted in miscommunication. Plots with comedic miscommunication are one of my favorite things ever and it’s executed really well here. Naturally, Gil pops up from the water. Like... I’d believe he’s a merman, too. Why is he out there in the ocean all the time?! What was he doing underwater?! How long was he under?! How was he breathing?! All valid questions.

How creepy is that?! lol

He swims over to Ren and tells her he was getting Lobsters for his dad, King Neptune. I’m dead. She’s like “Wow. So you really are a sea person…” - “Yep, born and raised!” he says. This is gold. Then we get a super cringy, awkward moment. After a tiny bit of flirting, Gil proceeds to dramatically kiss Ren????? Slow your rolls, buddy. That’s a little fast for Disney Channel, don’t you think? They just met 2 hours ago at the most, and Ren is in middle school. I’M TELLIN YA! THESE KIDS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE JUNIORS AND SENIORS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I SWEAR! It’s the only logical explanation for certain stuff.

Beans is a freaking idiot who hovered his metal detector over peoples’ pocketbooks and crap all day and stole their personal belongings. But he refers to it as “buried treasure.” How stupid can you be?! Like I said, he’s pretty useless here and did not need to be included in the episode. Plus, you know I’m not the biggest Beans fan. Finally, we see him hover the detector over a tip jar in the shack. He goes to steal all of it before Tawny stops him. Tom comes over and announces that the Lost and Found is open, yelling out all of the items in Beans’ bag lol. There’s one bit where Tom shouts “ONE GOLDEN……. oh geez, this is mine” and sneakily puts it in his pocket. Uh. What the heck was it?! Do I even want to know? Can anyone tell what that is?

While everyone’s in the shack sulking over the lack of waves, Twitty decides to go out and attempt to surf again. While he’s sitting out there, a freaking giant wave comes out of nowhere and sweeps him away. Louis notices and runs to Twitty’s rescue! They don’t skimp on the dramatics here. Louis kicks into full Baywatch slo-mo mode with an 80s knockoff power jam “You can count on mEeEeeE, I will always beeee thereeee for youuUuUuU” playing in the background. So good.

One thing I really like about Even Stevens is that it doesn’t take itself too seriously. They’ll throw in giant computer generated waves, and a terrible green screen job - but it doesn’t matter. It’s not supposed to look good, it’s supposed to be funny. It doesn’t need to look real to sell the moment on this show. (Christy said something similar on the movie’s DVD commentary!) If this scene looked realistic, the episode would pull a 180 and turn into a drama. That’s not what they were going for, haha.

A totally not superimposed Twitty getting swept away.

Louis cracks me up. Literally anything out of his mouth is funny because of the way Shia phrases it. Once he rescues Twitty he says “You know what’s funny to me? That the worst surfer in the world is havin’ to save Hot Shot Surfer Boy over here.” They proceed to argue like an old married couple some more. Twitty says he never called himself Hot Shot Surfer Boy. Louis calls Twitty two-faced and insists he buy him a Philly Cheese Steak to apologize. It’s so petty, I love it so much. When suddenly… ANOTHER WAVE COMES OUT OF NOWHERE! We get a wonderful Louis Scream as they frantically paddle. They end up briefly surfing the wave together.

Twitty: “DUDE THIS IS SO AWESOME THIS WAVE’S LIKE… 10 FEET OVER OUR HEADS!” Louis: “DON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT, TWITTY! I’M STILL MAD AT CHUUUU!”

Louis falls off and disappears into the sea, which is hilarious looking. But, also awful because if this was a drama, he would’ve died. But, anyway. Twitty comes riding up to shore and everyone surrounds him with praise for conquering that gnarly wave all by himself. Meanwhile, Louis washes up to shore covered in seaweed. This poor child. The two of them share one of those conflicting ~emotional~ moments where one person knows they’re being a jerk and looks off sadly at the person they’re letting down. :( Thankfully, Twitty tells the truth when Zack asks him how he caught the wave and everyone’s shocked that Louis actually did something right.

Ren’s sitting on the beach when some guy approaches her, and she realizes it’s Gil…? But, he’s walking? With legs? And then everything gets cleared up. “King Neptune” is the name of his dad’s seafood company, and he swims with a uni-fin flipper. I almost wish there were more layers of miscommunication! It could’ve been even funnier.

Louis and Twitty end up having a heart to heart while sitting in Tom’s sandcastle. It’s precious. I wish I had a friendship that tight. Instead I’m sitting here, indoors, blogging about a fictional friendship. Twitty apologizes for ditching Louis, and Louis apologizes for inviting himself. But, Twitty says he’s glad he did because he might not be alive. “Yeah… The whole save your life thing. Whatever, it’s all in a day’s work.” I love Louis. How could you not be this guys friend?! To this day, I wish I had a friend as funny and chill as Louis. Dang. Twitty even bought him a Philly Cheese Steak! Aw. They split it and it’s a nice moment. But, as they’re eating.. they have to throw in a bad line. “Huh. It’s a little dry, isn’t it?” Louis asks. Cue another giant CG wave. Get it? Now the sub isn’t dry anymore! Hah..hahaa..ha…? I never thought that line was particularly funny. It’s almost on par with this terribly cheesy (and insensitive) deleted scene from Titanic. But the visual of them getting hit by the fake wave while sitting in a sandcastle is one of those things that will always cheer me up. I can’t look at that without laughing.

And that’s it! The episode ends with a random Twitty-Stevens Connection music video "Dawn Patrol" lol. The song always gets stuck in my head. Ugh. It’s so cringy in the best way. I actually love some of the bloopers they included. But, hey! Who’s the rando on bass? Beans became their bassist earlier in the season. They use Beans for a throwaway metal detector plot, but don’t have him play bass in the band he plays bass for. Okay. Also according to the episode credits, AJ Trauth actually wrote the song! Haha, awesome.

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So, yeah. My opening statements pretty much sum up my feelings towards this one. But, one distracting thing I feel like mentioning is that this episode uses one too many unflattering fish-eye style close ups? WHY?! Look:

One too many! ONE TOO MANY! Paul Hoen directed this one. He still directs for Disney today, btw! I wonder what made him decide on this? It really stood out to me and gives the episode a bit of an offbeat, quirky feel.

Thanks for reading guys! I feel like these posts are getting longer and longer. I have to reel myself in here. (Okay, no pun intended there.) As usual, chime in below. Are you one of the people on that old forum who thought this episode sucked? I personally like it a lot and was tempted to rank it higher!

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