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iamfuckingsorry · 5 days

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I've been thinking about my old art club teacher recently.

This is something I never really thought about back then, but I think she influenced my life more than I realized.

For context, I went to this art club thingie from grade 2 to grade 11, and would have continued if I hadn't moved abroad at that point. It was like 3-4 hours a week at the local art/music school - in my country you don't have clubs/extracurriculars at school but instead there's another "school" kind of thing where you can go do extracurriculars after school, or independent sports clubs for kids run by sports organisations. The non-sports ones are subsidised and cheap af and it's where you go to learn to play an instrument, sing, do art, improv/theatre, dance etc - basically learn skills that can in some way be tied to "culture" or w/e. So I went to this club/class/whatever thingy because I enjoyed drawing when I was 6-7 and then kept going cause why not.

And my teacher was just like... the most chill person ever. She was really good with kids, treated everyone like a tiny human with a personality instead of like someone who had to listen to her (which is what my actual schoolteachers did). Would have casual conversations about her life and the TV shows she was watching and shit with us even when we were like 8. There was this one kid that was a couple of years older than me who was writing theatre pieces and short stories and she'd discuss them with him and give concrit and brainstorm with him and give suggestions on what to do and who to talk to if he wanted to get into writing/theatre more seriously (she had a second job doing backstage stuff at the local theatre). I didn't really learn any art skills except for what you learn by being forced to draw for a couple of hours every week, but god this club was the only place where I could really be myself. Three to four hours a week, I could be as weird as I wanted to be and no one cared. I'm not sure I'd say I looked forward to it per ce - I didn't really look forward to anything at that point in my life and I'm sure I skipped some weeks just to lie in my bed instead - but it was just... nice, y'know?

And in hindsight it was obvious she was a bit lost in life, just trying to do what she liked doing. She was fat and single and not planning on having kids and lowkey broke. She wanted to go to an art high school as a kid and wasn't allowed to, so after she graduated she applied again and did the 4 extra years required to get this art high school diploma. She worked like 15-20 hours at the art school and then another maybe 15-20 and then she sold art and crafts stuff at markets and stuff sometimes to make ends meet. She dyed her hair bright red and orange sometimes back when unnatural colours were still really unusual and sometimes wore clothes bordering on what you'd see at a ren faire. I think she must have been in her late 20s when I started and close to 40 when I left, but she'll forever be 37 in my mind for some reason.

And looking back knowing what I know now, I am so sure she was a fandom person. She was into House MD and X-files and LOTR and Stargate and NCIS, and would have hour-long convos about the shows with some of the kids. She was very into Sean Bean to the point her sister got her a life-size Boromir cutout and also into Jeremy Renner, though I can't remember any specific shows with him in that she liked (it wasn't the Avengers stuff - maybe MI?). I remember her going to the capital for a movie premiere once or twice, and travelling abroad to see her favourite actors from time to time. I'm pretty sure she talked about something that I can now identify as writing fanfiction at some point.

And I was very into fandom myself by the end too, I was going to cons and shit, roleplaying with my online friends, hanging out here on tumblr and shit. I had a friend in the club who was into Supernatural just like I was, and sometimes we'd spend half of the club talking about SPN, reading the new episode summary together every week waiting for the episode to come out, discussing, me talking about fanfic sometimes (something that my friend was /not/ into). I wonder what she thought about that lol.

Anyway.

My point it just... I never knew another adult who was into the same stuff as me as a kid growing up. Like sure, my mom was a massive sci-fi and fantasy fan, but not in a fandom way, and she didn't really enjoy discussing things. And I never knew another adult who genuinely didn't seem to care what other people thought about them, in a good way - she was fat and kinda weird and broke and she fucking rocked it, at one point she got a phone call from a friend who needed to talk about a Stargate episode and she fucking answered and talked to the friend for like 15 minutes. And I never knew another adult who chose to do what they wanted to do instead of doing what was expected of them - getting an education, getting a good job, maybe settling down and having kids. This lady was just like, nah fuck that, I'm gonna go to the goddamn art high school even if I'm gonna be like 24 by the time I graduate, and I'm gonna get this horribly underpaid part-time job at a theatre because I like theatre and the people who work there, and I'm gonna spend half my day talking about this TV show I really like. And she had so many stories about people (especially teachers at the art school) being unfair or shitty and her standing up for herself and not taking their shit.

And I never had a role model growing up, but slowly approaching my 30s and looking back... I think maybe I did. And I wonder what she's up to now (still teaching at that art school and working at the theatre, I could google that much), and I wonder if the fact that she was doing okay meant that I will do okay too.

And I hope we keep fostering places where little lost kids like me can meet cool weird adults who were exactly where you are now 20 years ago and who made it through and are living their best lives now.

#i should be writing a thesis instead of random shit on tumblr lol #but i have Feelings about this okay #sigh #herr's personal tag

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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 300: Days of Our Todorokis

Previously on BnHA: Hawks was all “hey Jeanist, wanna go on a road trip with me to my mom’s house?” Jeanist was all “you know it,” and so they hopped into Jeanist’s jercedes and took off. Hawks took a nap and had a flashback to his Dickensian childhood living in a abject poverty with his jerk mom and jerk dad, thinking heroes were make-believe until one day Endeavor arrested his dad and Baby Hawks was all “OH SHIT.” And then he saved a bunch of people, and the HPSC was all “what do we have here,” and blah blah blah, you know the rest. Back in the present, Hawks was all “well my life is currently in shambles, but on the plus side there’s no one bossing me around anymore so that’s pretty cool,” and then decided he was going to talk to Endeavor. Fandom was all “I can’t believe Hawks would side with his childhood hero over the man who burned his wings off and posted a video calling him a violent murderer who took after his abusive dad,” so that was fun and stuff. I can’t wait to see what piping fresh takes this new chapter will bring.

Today on BnHA: Our old friend Carbonation Carl tries to loot a Starbucks and gets his ass kicked by a senior citizen. Society is all “YEAH, WE’RE REALLY STARTING TO GET SICK OF THIS SHIT.” Old Man Samurai is all “this room won’t stop me because I can’t read it” and abruptly decides to retire, which, fun fact, is literally THE LEAST HELPFUL THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE. Anyway so then a bunch of other punkasses follow suit, and while I won’t say that I’m actually starting to root for Stain to kill some peeps, just for the record I’m not not saying that either. Back in the hospital, Endeavor cries some tears because his life sucks, and then is confronted by his entire family, LED BY QUEEN REI, FIRST OF HER NAME, BACK IN BUSINESS AND LARGE AND IN CHARGE. Rei is all “fuck feeling sorry for yourself, we have a rogue Murder Son on the loose” and I swear to god I have never felt so alive.

so here we go! and just for the record, even though the last two chapters have been phenomenal, I don’t necessarily have any sky-high expectations for chapter 300, mostly because chapters 100 and 200 consisted of Mei Boobs, and Toadette and her horrific quirk lmao. so go ahead Horikoshi, what are you gonna pull out of your hat for this one

oh, back to this stuff again. sob

I guess there was only so much time we could spend having hospital antics and exploring Hawks’s past before we got back to dealing with the whole “the world has gone to absolute shit” issue huh, lol

omg

what’s with these bizarrely cute Noumus. why do I want to pet them

so the narrative text is going on about how people have been super paranoid about the Noumu ever since the USJ incident a year ago. so yeah, I guess the fact that there are now a bunch of them confirmed to be running around is really freaking people out even on top of everything else

wtf is happening here

what did this poor lil glass ever do to anyone. r.i.p.

OH MY FUCKING GOD

SODA SAM IS BACK ON THE LAM

tsk tsk tsk. my man has graduated from snatching purses to raiding cafes. going after that big money. this man has no business sense whatsoever lmao

OH BUT WATCH IT NOW!!

OH SNAP THE PEOPLE ARE FIGHTING BACK. WHATCHA GONNA DO NOW SAM

THIS MAN IS 172 YEARS OLD AND HE’S NOT HERE TO PLAY GAMES!!

WTF IS HE LIGHTING THIS THING ON FIRE OR SOME SHIT. GETTEM GRANDPA YEAHHHH HE’S CHARGING AT EM YEAHHHHHH

lmao so that was fun. and now we’re cutting to Wash!! omg. look at him

he’s so dedicated. too bad you don’t have a car like Best Jeanist. probably takes a while when you’re just running everywhere

you see?? you were too slow!!

NOOOO, GRANDPA. he defeated Pepsi Pete, but lost his life in the process. this is too tragic

anyway so the good news is that the cafe has been saved! but the bad news is, there really isn’t much of a cafe left. huh. I guess that’s one of the reasons why people are supposed to get a license to use their quirks like this

oh snap and now everyone is coming outside, and they’re none too happy to see poor old Wash over here

seriously Wash, get a bicycle or something. also the way this guy is gesturing so dramatically with his hand in this sort of “YOU SEE!! YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!” manner is sending me

OH MY GOD

HE SPEAKS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. IT MEANS JEANS PUNS ARE YESTERDAY’S NEWS, FOLKS!! MAKE WAY FOR THE LAUNDRY PUNS. CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH THIS ALL... UNFOLD

“the heroes had dwindled away” okay real talk you guys, it is literally only a matter of time before they press-gang the children into picking up their slack. I still don’t know how to feel about that, but it is happening one way or the other regardless. Child Soldiers 2 Electric Boogaloo. wonder if we’ll see a rise in vigilante action as well

OHO WHAT’S THIS? THIS IS A CHAPTER OF GRANDPAS HUH

-- no fucking way

WOW. WOW. WOWWWWWW

wow. so he didn’t do a fucking thing while the rest of the top ten were being turned into red mist in the previous arc, and now that it’s all over and they need his help more than ever, he decides... THAT IT’S TIME TO RETIRE. holy shit. “fuck you” doesn’t even begin to cover it my guy. you stand there and soak up those boos you coward

ohhhhhhh shiiiiit you guys. oh shit

the “I am not here” breaks my fucking heart for real though y’all. oh man. everything he worked for is gone just like that

(ETA: okay so a couple of the takes I’ve seen on this make it seem like All Might is somehow the bad guy here?? “this is what happens when society puts a bunch of glorified cops on a pedestal”, “finally the cracks in hero society are showing”, etc. etc. so, just a friendly reminder that this isn’t happening because of too much trust and a lack of critical thinking; this is happening because the villains killed all the heroes and broke a bunch of murderers out of jail. it’s happening because an organized league of terrorists succeeded in terrorizing, and so society is now understandably awash in fear and panic. like, it’s just wild to me that AFO is RIGHT FUCKING THERE, and yet week after week fandom still has their “IT’S ALL THE HEROES’ FAULT” signs still up on their lawns. BUT WHATEVER, MOVING ON.)

also though, so exactly how much time is passing here now? I wanted to go straight back to the hospital and see what happens with Deku and the Todorokis. please don’t tell me we’re jumping ahead sob. my aaaaangst

OH SHIT

STAIN. LISTEN UP BUDDY. I KNOW WE’VE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES, AND I STILL DESPISE YOU FOR CRIPPLING TENSEI AND TRYING TO KILL MY BEST BOY TENYA. BUT AS IT HAPPENS, THERE ARE ONE OR TWO OTHER HEROES OUT THERE NOW WHO I WOULDN’T MIND YOU PAYING A VISIT I’M JUST SAYING

LOL BUT IT ACTUALLY ISN’T THIS MAN, FFFFFF

sob. yeah I was talking about Old Man Samurai actually but YEAH. HEY THERE ENJI

also is this entire hospital actually run by characters from Super Mario Bros though. first Yoshi and now this guy, come the fuck on that is not a coincidence

lmao they stuck him in another one of these cavernous creepy hospital rooms

wtf is it with Horikoshi and these giant fucking rooms lately. Kacchan’s in chapter 298, then Tomie’s colossal house furnished with like one table and a TV, and now this. and the weirdest thing about it though is that “huge space with nothing to fill it up” is like the exact opposite of what you’ll usually find in Japanese homes lol

so now Enji is just sitting there thinking things like “my head is fuzzy” and “I’m alive” lmao okay. not quite all there yet, huh. I’ll give you a minute

I’m so fucking curious as to who his first visitor is going to be omg. either way it’s going to be interesting af, and either way fandom is probably going to feel some way about it but OH WELL

okay now his thoughts are getting more coherent! and he’s remembering Touya, and feeling regret for freezing up and forcing Shouto to deal with everything instead

!!! OH HERE GOES BRACE YOURSELVES Y’ALL IT’S ABOUT TO GET SPICY

NO TOUYA PLEASE DON’T CRY HONEY NO PLEASE

ohhhhhhh man

okay, I mean I didn’t expect you to, but so instead then you’re just going to do... what? lie there and wallow in regret and self-pity for the rest of your life? son you know that’s not how we deal with our problems here in Shounen

though also, I totally do get it though. honestly, thinking on it, I probably would have been disappointed with any other response. but so this is where the rest of his family (including his adopted son) come into play now though, because like it or not they’re all in this thing together. and so friends, I am once again asking you WHO IS GOING TO BE THE ONE TO VISIT ENJI FIRST

AHHHHHHH

KRANCH!!!! OMG AND THE OTHERS ARE SO TINY NEXT TO HIM THAT I ALMOST DIDN’T SEE THEM AT FIRST. IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE TWENTY MILES AWAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS REGULATION HOCKEY RINK OF A ROOM

holy shit I’m so excited lkjlklhlglkasdsjldfk

SDKFJLSKHLKJL

the way she has him by his collar lmaoooo. “lol nah you’re not going anywhere pal.” damn straight, siblings have to be ride or die in situations like this. banding together for survival. strength in numbers

OH MY STARS I’M JUST WARNING YOU NOW THAT I’M ABOUT TO DISSECT EVERY LAST REMAINING PANEL OF THIS CHAPTER PROBABLY YOU GUYS. WE COULD BE HERE A WHILE

love how Fuyu has absolutely no idea how to segue into THE SINGLE MOST AWKWARD CONVERSATION SHE’S EVER HAD, so she just GOES FOR IT in pure small talk mode like they’re meeting up for brunch somewhere

I KNOW IT’S A SMALL THING, BUT I APPRECIATE THAT THE FIRST THING ENJI ASKS IS WHETHER THEY’RE OKAY

lastly while I can’t wait for more of this delicious Natsu angst, I also just have to say that Enji has as much reason to cry right now as anyone on the planet. you can’t deny that being confronted by your not-dead-but-you-thought-he-was-dead son who’s all “SURPRISE DAD I GREW UP TO BE A MASS MURDERER AND I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING IS ALL YOUR FAULT AND NOW I’M GONNA MAIM YOUR OTHER KID” with a side order of “EVERYONE HATES YOU AND SOCIETY IS CRUMBLING AND NOTHING WILL EVER BE GOOD EVER AGAIN” is enough to bum pretty much anyone out. there’s a Pagliacci the Clown joke here somewhere. BUT DOCTOR, I AM THE NUMBER ONE HERO

oh man lol he is seriously falling apart

damn. like you guys, I’m sorry, go ahead and cancel me, but I do feel compassion for the man. it’s therapeutic for me to see an abuser actually feel remorse and be truly sorry and want to change and want to make it up to his family. and it’s also compelling as fuck to read a narrative about a family that’s trying to grapple with that, because let me tell you straight up, as someone who’s done a version of that song and dance -- it is exhausting. it is a piping hot mess. it’s a gigantic mishmosh of extremely volatile emotions that all somehow all contradict one another. love, hurt, hope, anger, betrayal, resentment, attachment, longing. it’s something you can both be desperate for and also want nothing at all to do with. and attempting to portray all of that and write about it is a monumental task, and one which Horikoshi has done so, so delicately thus far, and damn but I appreciate it. anyway, so I’m here and I’m ready for my latest helping of Todoroki Fam Feels you guys

GASP

oh man. OHMANOHMANOHMAN. CAN IT REALLY BE. IS THIS THE REDEMPTION ARC OF CHAPTERS 100 AND 200???

LMAO SHE’S ALL “WE ALL FEEL BAD YOU JACKASS STOP CRYING ABOUT IT”

LAY INTO HIM REI!! SORRY ENJI YOUR PITY PARTY HAS BEEN CANCELLED IN FAVOR OF A “SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT” PARTY COURTESY OF QUEEN ELSA OVER HERE. THE PEOPLE TOOK A VOTE AND WE WANT LESS WHINING AND MORE ACTION

oh my god look at this lady folks

NOTE THE HAIR BLOWING IN THE NONEXISTENT WIND. NOW WE KNOW WHERE SHOUTO GOT THIS POWER FROM

(ETA: btw guys, seeing Rei handle this crisis like an absolute champ despite everything she’s been through is everything, though. I’m reminded of Hawks’s line last week about people sometimes unexpectedly finding liberation when they’re backed into a corner. like things may be shit but goddammit her kiddos need her.)

THE CHAPTER IS ALREADY ENDING SOB, IT’S ONLY A 17-PAGER THIS WEEK, BUT GODDAMN WHAT A WAY TO CLOSE

oh my god. oh my god oh my god. AND FUCK YOU HORIKOSHI FOR CUTTING IT OFF THERE sob. it’s like each week the wait for the next chapter becomes more painful. the Todofam is about to get real, and on top of that Hawks is gonna crash the party at some point down the line, and on top of that we’re still waiting for Kacchan to have his own heartfelt discussion about What The Fuck Are We Supposed To Do Next with his best friend who’s currently in a coma. all I want to do with my life is read about these three things, and all I can do is simply wait as they are portioned out in agonizing, addicting little installments every week

anyway! tune in next time as we answer the question of whether or not fandom will finally run its train of logic all the way through to its natural conclusion and somehow manage to cancel Noted Abuse Apologist Todoroki Fucking Rei. don’t act like it can’t happen. you all know nothing is sacred lol. anyways but I’m ready for anything lol, bring it

#bnha 300 #endeavor #todoroki enji #todoroki shouto #todoroki rei #all them todorokis #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #I can't believe I've done 300 of these now lol #think I'm gonna finally have to update the post index again

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lockoutkey · 2 years

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Ok so before we start it’s very important you should know these are the vibes I’m giving off and if I wasn’t typing my hands would be all over the place gesturing

So this is ramblely af and probably doesn’t make sense but who cares I have Thoughts

Ok so what colour are the watchers? Purple! What colour is the void? Black I guess but also purple! Ok watcher and void link confirmed you can all go home

Jk but listen, Martin’s new watcher lore said they were like eating the souls of the players or whatever, fun afternoon snack, and it’s been said a lot in fandom that the Boatem hole is feeding on their sacrifices. Feeding on their items, their XP, the occasional llama, but most importantly their souls

Grian and Pearl would probably be able to tell something’s familiar about it but they can’t put their finger on what, so they keep throwing themselves in to try and figure it out. All their idea of course, definitely no malicious outside force influencing their thoughts at all!

Alternatively if you like some good old fashioned villain!Pearl or even tricked into thinking her brother needed to return but slowly realising that the watchers are evil!Pearl you could have her be the one suggesting they jump into it to try and get Grian to remember how ‘good’ the watcher magic feels

I feel like once Pearl found out the watchers were the bad guys she’d immediately try to plug up the hole and get the others to leave it, but she wouldn’t want to reveal the truth because Grian would never trust her again (she thinks) and the others wouldn’t just go along with it without some answers

This ask is about watcher mission!Pearl now

I’m not sorry

So she’d get sent by the watchers to retrieve her brother and in this au he would have just snuck out in the middle of the night without leaving a not or anything, meaning the watchers got to tell the story, so Pearl fully believes that Grian’s been like kidnapped and brainwashed and stuff

So her original plan is to just grab him and get out but she can’t do that because of how many people are on the server and how protective they all are, she wouldn’t make it five meters

So she settles down by him, trying to come up with a way to convince him to come back with her, and then the boatem hole opens and it’s a great opportunity! The magic of the watchers will slowly fix him and then they can leave, right?

But slowly she makes friends, creates massive builds and pulls pranks with Gem, and she realises they maybe she hasn’t been told everything

One night, she asks Grian what really happened that night, and he tells her about how cruel the watchers are, what they do to players, and how he met someone who offered him refuge. He would have taken her with, he explains, but she had been fully indoctrinated and it was too big of a risk, it’s so lucky how she managed to realise for herself and meet up with him by chance!

Pearl is shocked and very guilty, she confesses everything. Grian is mad and feels incredibly betrayed at first, but he understands how hard it is to break free

They go to cover up the boatem hole so that no one else can fall in and head to bed, not noticing how big the moon is.

It’s too late.

The blocks are gone in the morning and the moon is getting closer and closer, causing earthquakes and disturbances in gravity

The watchers are coming.

I just basically wrote a hole (get it) ass fic outline in your inbox and I’m not even mad about it lmao

nacho please write this as an ao3 fic i am begging this needs to be written so bad

#key asks #nach0

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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 3 years

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Oh man!! But I love your snarky meme posts! Haha I think your right though, avoid discourse! I haven’t heard your thoughts in a while though, with 10x18 only a few days away now (finally, thank god), I would love to get a tiny dose of your lovely positivity!

tbh i’ve been full of so much dread and anxiety the past couple weeks, not because of the episode (still positive af about that), but because of the bad fandom energy (which, even when i am actively avoiding it still manages to seep into my line of sight 😒), but i was just talking to my partner about how fun it’ll be to watch twd from start to finish once the final season drops, and how much fun we had binge watching it originally (he’s who i started the show with), and i was reminded that the show used to actually be a good time. i had forgotten how much fun it was to watch with my partner and make dumb 30 rock references every five seconds, and laugh at parts that definitely weren’t supposed to be as funny as we made them (during the part when jadis threw rick into the pit with winston the art piece walker we laughed so hard people upstairs came down and asked, “aren’t you watching walking dead? what the fuck is so funny??”). that’s the energy i want to get back, and the energy i want to cultivate as we get through these bottle episodes and get into s11. caryl is on track to be canon, which is something i v rarely get in the things i ship, so added drama doesn’t bother me. and at the end of the day, what’s the absolute worst thing that can happen to caryl? they don’t go canon officially, which would be a drag, sure, but that doesn’t mean we don’t still have ten years’ worth of fandom content, and a community that can still have fun with it. (bc i know it’ll make ppl upset that i said that, i /do/ think it’ll be canon, but if by the end it turns out i was wrong i’m not gonna like, die or something. fic is always more creative and entertaining than the og source anyway, and we’ll always have that)

it’s kind of astonishing how unpleasant people can make a fun thing be, and for what? what does it accomplish? if your entertainment is no longer entertaining you, and is, in fact, making you bonkers on the internet, maybe it’s time to find something new to spend your time on, if only for your mental health. i want to unabashedly enjoy myself again. i want to write explicit porn and Extra(tm) af au fics, and i want to laugh inappropriately during heartfelt scenes bc walkers are falling off a cliff in slow motion and it’s the funniest thing i’ve ever seen. i don’t want to dread episodes anymore. why do i dread the show i use to escape my irl bullshit?? that’s so ridiculous!

i am brain crazy and, as of late, chronically physically ill, so real life is v often a fucking drag. i don’t need to bring that into the space i use to get a break from the heavy stuff. and ik i won’t always be able to. ik i’m gonna get stressed about plot stuff, and there are gonna be fandom things that’ll make me upset, but i am going to do my absolute best to be as positive as possible and have as much fun as i can, bc i watch this show bc i enjoy it, and sometimes i need to remind myself of that

so as for 10x18? bring it on. i know that it’s all going to be resolved (probably in like, two seconds, bc that’s the whole point of “diverged”, do ppl keep forgetting that??), and i know that daryl isn’t going to end up with this rando bc we literally have a spin-off (do ppl keep forgetting that??), so who cares if there’s tension? plots have conflict, my dudes, and mb it won’t always be conflict we like, but the fun thing about a tv show is that there is more content to come, and things can change on a dime. and besides, whatever we don’t like we can change on 9lives and ao3. i am hype, chill, and stanning my showrunner, and am just gonna ride the wave

and while i can’t make y’all do anything, i strongly suggest you do, too

-diz

#this was longwinded sry #it was on my mind grapes #anon #ask #caryl #twd s10 spoilers #dunlap tp

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hopeshoodie · 3 years

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I feel so bad letting this sit for so long, but better late than never I suppose! Thank you to literally everyone who tagged me in this. Literally every time I see these posts it makes me grin like an absolute dope at my phone. This is one of the best fandoms I’ve ever been in. I know I joke that I’m just sitting in my corner making garbage, so thank yall for making the room my corner is in so lovely.

So here’s a shoutout to the people who made my 2020 better. If I’m following you (from my main @hyperspacial because despite being on tumblr for nearly a decade I still hardly know how to run a sideblog) I 100% like you. I’m sorry if I forget to tag people :( Also this is about to be a long ass post- don’t feel obligated to reply or like or whatever just because you’re tagged :P

@garyandhisnan. I just…. I adore you. Highkey would walk to the ends of the earth if you asked. Your writing, your posts, everything is top notch (and you’re an awesome person to boot which like… shouldn’t be allowed). Thank you for letting me rant about American late-stage capitalism and all the other nonsense I flood your inbox with. If yall aren’t following them, go do it now.

@deuchess

@ariendiel Why you would want to collaborate with me, ME, of all people? Still astounds me. I pinkie promise we’re gonna do it though, and it’s gonna be so good. I’m so excited. But seriously, your fics are some of the only ones that I can keep coming back to. Your writing is *chefs kiss* and your edits/moodboards are literally so pretty. I love your blog and I cherish you, you slut cheat.

@kiki-the-creator same brain saME BRAIN SAME BRAIN how do we have the exact same brain!? Your fics literally are the best thing this fandom has produced- I come up with these half baked concepts, you make them actually good, then I play dollhouse with them over and over again in my head forever :3 That Erikah fic? Literally every Marisol fic you write?? I love them. Also you’re highkey so funny and ugh. Te adoro.

@bubblelaureno you’re literally too good for me. For real. I’m sorry I’m so shitty about keeping up to date with fics and edits, you deserve way more than my shitty memory and my 2 second long attention span. Your blog is literally a beacon of positivity and it’s absurd how much I admire your drive and your analytical way of thinking. This fandom is so lucky to have you.

@codename-mango controversial yet brave opinion- your blog is the best LITG blog on tumblr. Your headcanons, your jokes, your route overviews? All immaculate. Even your reblogs are the best of what everyone else is posting. You’re the only reason I have notes, and I appreciate you sm.

@oneflewoverthecuckoos my comment to mango is controversial only because if not her, then your LITG sideblog for sure. For a ‘Lucas’ blog, the diversity of content and LIs you talk about is refreshing. I fucking love seeing people talk about non-LI characters.

@inthenewblood thank you for letting me bitch about the reddit oml it’s needed. Also having someone to be salty with? A new but not unwelcome experience lmfao

@noahssidechick you are literally so sweet oml I treasure our chats and the pictures of your dogs. You bring such a chill and earnest vibe to the fandom and ugh, I’m so glad to have you.

@fuseboxmusebox I feel like you’re so consistent in the fandom, like you were here when I first joined and you’ll be here after I inevitably lose interest and leave. Your reblogs are top notch, the takes are even topper notch, and it wouldn’t be a ‘litg blogs that made me happy’ list without you.

@crvsh-culture I will never not sing your praises. I love your blog, I love you perspective, I love your vibe. I consider you a friend even though we’ve talked like… once.

@radiantdae your artbreeder edits were the first thing in the fandom that left me genuinely astounded. Like holy shit they were so good. Kassam??? That was a REAL MAN. Obviously the stuff you post now is really good too and your blog is excellent. But tbh when I think of the LITG fandom, the first think I think of is your artbreeder pictures. Also your ‘filipino words that make me think of the islanders’. I still think of that often.

@therealityofthematteris seeing you in my notes makes me smile every time. That’s basically all, just needed to say it lmao. Also if anyone has almost convinced me to start playing TWC, it’s you and Seliné.

@bellarxse my dash would be dry af without you. Same with TWC- I’m so tempted to play because of your posts (I have it downloaded on my phone but like…. I haven’t finished a single route in Arcana and starting a new thing is overwhelming). But also your prompts are one of the few things that makes me want to write lmfao.

@lahelakoh I feel like I’ve said it before but your posts SEND me oml. The tiktok references, the chaotic energy. Both the taste and the flavour is immaculate.

@kiwi-tai we haven’t talked that much but oml I love your content so much 15/10

@confused-inalltheways-human you’re literally so cool and I think about that Harry fic all the time. Am I ever gonna get around to writing it? Probably not. But it was such a good idea. Also thank you for lighting up my notification.

@oceanatydes you come here, you post literally spectacular content, and then you peace out like bruh I wish I had your mind. I adore your edits, but my favorites are your posts/headcanons.

@voile-de-lune your aesthetic is everything I aspire to be and your headcanons/edits are such a refreshing take on characters that we’ve all gotten so stale with. I still live for that Rahim moodboard you made. Also your headcanons are so fantastic.

@lasswithumor this fandom desperately needs more Carl stans, thank you for doing the lords work. Also I highkey stalk your blog on a regular basis jsjsjsjsjsjs every chat we’ve had has been lovely and ugh, you’re just lovely

@bobbysapron your vibes are literally so immaculate. I know it’s been awhile since we chatted but I highkey adore your content and ugh. You’re such a cool person.

@beebips I feel like you’ve vanished off my dash, but you made up for it with that 3rd chapter of The Other Side of Seventh Ave made up for it.

@nerdferatum I don’t think I’ve ever breathed a word in your direction but oml you’re so sweet and supportive and every time your posts cross my dash I *pleading emoji*

@mrsgaryrennell I’m still agog that we’re mutuals because like… You are so talented. It took me waaaayyy too long to get into Blue and Hazel but now that I have… It’s highkey better than the actual season skskskskss

@kingkassam Like the above, you are waaaayyy too cool to be following me sksksksk. I’ve still got a few edits you had ideas for in the pipeline, and highkey the Kassam icons you requested are my favorite edits I’ve ever made. I live for someone else playing Matchmaker.

@hermitclaw hello?????? You’re so funny what the FUCK are you doing following me. Ik you don’t post that much anymore, but every LITG you grace us with is a knockout. It feels unreal when you reblog my stuff. Basically the same to @mchamster. Like you’re both so funny and have been in the fandom for so long that it fully feels like royalty whenever yall interact with me.

@ravenadottir I am fully unworthy to even mention your name but oml. Your guides are the only thing that help me retain information about the season, and your recent outfit edits? Oh my god they’re so good. Hope’s especially, with the brightly colored swimsuit, left me absolutely speechless. You’re just above everything in the fandom and I admire that so much. Plus you really don’t have to flex that hard in your fics, and yet-

@smaiihands saving the best for last because you are one of the single most talented people in this fandom. Your art is the strongest life support for the fandom and like I know we haven’t talked in awhile but you’re also such a dope person. So.

And a big shoutout to all the people I follow who I don’t talk to but have nothing but good vibes. I appreciate yall way more than I can articulate: @richhdesire @needsomesorrel @ficticiouspastry @cranesandshipyards @litg-ish @princesslove19060 @fictitiouspastery @icedcoffee-please @demons-dogs-and-puns @sparklydinosaurr @mountainmanxoxo @diamondsdiary @bucket-bill@another-lottie-simp @bobbys-darling @cyn-onlyyou @mikcove @officialpapa-johns @Amaxn @dxncingthroughlife @myfictionalobsessions @screw-u-vaanu @kittidot @chichiguitarist123 @myfictionalobsessions @Azibear @amelia-w @lilithlibrxa @litghoe @priyas-tiddies @daisybarks @ajs-wife

At this point this post is just a directory of the LITG fandom lmfao but genuinely. Thank every single one of you. 2020 was hard as shit, but I’ve been hyperfixated on LITG for like a year and I treasure your content sm.

#im so so so fucking sorry if i forget someone :(#i 100% did not mean to i hope no ones feelings are hurt #if you've ever interacted with my posts youve definitely made me smile

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justalarryblog · 3 years

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Thank you @harrystinyshorts for tagging me!! Love ya! 💜

1. when did you start writing? 1997 (yeah... loooong time ago lol) I was (and still am) in love with BSB and 3T so I read my first fanfictions and decided to write too.

2. what fandoms do you write for? currently only 1D, but I had fics on SPN fandom and FOB.

3. do you write better in the morning or at night? at night normally, but sometimes my brain bugs me in the middle of the night lol.

4. what music do you listen to while writing? it depends, if it’s a sad part I usually listen to sad songs or songs related to the part I’m writing about, but most of the time I listen to whatever playlist I find on spotify.

5. what do you/plan to major in at college? english translation and interpretation.

6. do you write an outline before writing a story? def not lmao. I mean, I brainstorm the ideas and all, especially with friends and then I just write. If I get stuck in some part I brainstorm things again and just go with it. (I know I should be more organized but I really suck at doing these things)

7. do you write multiple stories at one time or only focus on one? I’ve tried once but it was weird, besides my capricorn brain doesn’t let me hahahahaha.

8. do you write every day? oh I wish!! hahahaha Lately I was but then adulthood and mental health called and I had to step back from the fic (sorry B!!) to get my shit done so I can go back to it.

9. what are your goals for your stories? (& do you want to become a published author one day?) I write for fun, I write because sometimes I want to read something that I haven’t seen being written around or just because something came up my mind. Even though my mom’s a writer and I wanted to be one once (the joke! hahaha) I know I’m not a good writer/author I prefer reviewing/proofreading/brainstorming/plotting.

10. favourite work of yours? Def my first fic for 1D fandom... I was nervous af because I know how some people in this fandom can be. It’s not all beta’ed, it’s not the finest work but it was my first and I’m proud of it!

I’m tagging @fournipplesau @twopoppies @lululawrence @allwaswell16 @daffodilsforlou @disgruntledkittenface @hazzabeeforlou I’m curious to know about you guys! 😘💖

#tag game #about me

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stealing-jasons-job · 4 years

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Fic updates & timeline 🥰

Here is my current prompt list and potential timeline.

I’m currently participating in the @t100fic-for-blm initiative, and I am working through those prompts in the order I’ve received them. I appreciate all of you guys being patient (especially with my WIPs that have taken a backseat for the initiative), and I’m excited for what’s coming down the pipeline! At the moment, I am not accepting new prompts until I can work through this list. <3

The rest is under the cut, but here is an up-to-date look at my fic list:

Current ongoing projects

Upcoming fics

WIPS I swear I haven’t abandoned

Current ongoing projects

Wreck Jroth Club Fic Collab

Would you choose the end of war and suffering in your own lifetime if it meant the end of every other universe, too—including ones where you, your friends, and your family are happy and at peace?

Or, the S7 finale rewrite where Clarke experiences some of these other lifetimes and makes the ultimate choice of whether or not the end of suffering in her own reality is worth sacrificing infinite others where things might have gone differently.

An angsty fic collab where different writers from the Bellarke fandom write different chapters as part of an overarching story. Each intro is written by me, as well as the first chapter, last chapter, and a few sprinkled in the middle. Follow @wreck-jroth-club for updates!

Bellarke Big Bang - Find me in the light

While I can’t unveil the premise just yet, I am a writer, creator, and mod alongside @animmortalist for Bellarke Big Bang 2021! First chapter will publish in June, but I’ll be working on this fic in my spare time between now and then. Y’all, get ready for some ANGST. I haven’t been this excited about a fic in a long time.

_______________________________

Upcoming fics

Linctavia prompt — official title TBD

Prompted by @1munequita

Linctavia as sexually frustrated parents whose daughter continually interrupts them.

Cross my heart - official title TBD

Prompted by @thecspenciskillingme

Gallagher Girls AU!

Normal 18-year-old girls graduate high school and then go off to college with their friends. Maybe they join a sorority. Hell, maybe they get a boyfriend or girlfriend and fall in love. They sleep in and skip class and stay up late with their equally normal friends.

But Clarke Griffin has never been normal.

It comes with the territory of being the daughter of two renowned spies for the CIA. Clarke had been raised to speak seven languages and be able to change her entire appearance with nothing but a pair of nail clippers and some shoe polish. She wasn't built for normal.

Angsty. Spy shit. Multi-chapter.

I see a monster’s eyes in the mirror - official title TBD

Prompted by @constellationbellamy

S6/7 AU — Bellamy got nightblood in S6 when Josie took him prisoner, and Bellamy is who Slim Sheidy "takes over" in S7. Fulfilling all of our void!Bellamy dreams without the religious indoctrination ala Steve and Etherea. Also, there will finally be a reason why no one killed Slim Sheidy as soon as they realized he was back.

Is this potentially the angstiest idea I’ve ever had? 120% But don’t worry, it’ll have a happy ending. My name is not Jason.

Criminal Minds AU - official title TBD

Prompted by @constellationbellamy

A Bellarke Criminal Minds AU.

Song prompt: Let You Down by NF

Prompted by @edgelessness

Everyone thinks Clarke has the perfect life, including her best friend's older brother Bellamy. But that's far from the truth.

Angsty AF.

Bear Grylls AU - official title TBD

Prompted by @slyth-princess

A collab between myself and @writetheniteaway for Beardcave.

Don’t expect me to fall in love with her, too - official title TBD

Prompted by @writetheniteaway

Against all odds, Steve Doucette fell in love with Bellamy Blake. And Bellamy fell for him, too. But once they start rebuilding back on Earth after the "the last war” and transcendence turns out to be a myth, Steve starts to realize exactly what Bellamy meant in the cave when he said Octavia and Clarke were the most important people in his life.

As he gets to know the blonde, he can see the deep connection that exists between her and Bellamy. They are part of each other’s souls, and Steve can’t help but admire the way they are together. He’s not going to stand in the way of their relationship, whatever it is — after all, he was raised believing you could love more than one person equally. He knows Bell loves him, and he’s okay with the knowledge that Bellamy loves Clarke, too. But just because he understands why his boyfriend loves her doesn’t mean he has plans to fall in love with her himself.

Then again, you know what they say about well-laid plans.

Angsty. Sappy. <3 The OT3 we deserve. Multi-chapter.

Two sides of a coin — official title TBD

Prompted by @sparklyfairymira

Bellarke/Jeresa crossfic for all you QotS fans! Teresa and James are trying to establish themselves in the Dallas market, but DEA agents Clarke and Bellamy are determined to not make it easy. Throughout the fic, both sides will start to understand the other a little more and learn how to coexist without sacrificing their livelihoods or their integrity.

Angsty AF. Multi-chapter.

WIPs I swear I haven’t abandoned

Since joining the BLM initiative, my focus has shifted away from WIP updates and toward completing prompts as they come in. To be honest, I was not expecting to receive as many prompts as I have (which is amazing on so many levels), so I apologize for how long it’s been since some of my fics have been updated.

I appreciate you all being patient, but here are the WIPs I swear I haven’t abandoned! If anyone wants to prompt chapter updates for the BLM initiative, that will help get these on the prios list sooner. But otherwise, these bad boys will still get done. Albeit more slowly.

I'm gonna get myself back home to you

S4/5 AU where Bellarke gets together before he goes to the Ring, and he never believes she’s really dead. Told from multiple POVs before, during, and after the Ring.

Next update: Ch. 6 — March 2021

Intertwining Your Soul

Arranged marriage grounder fic.

Next update: Ch. 12 - March 2021

Amor vincit onmia

S7 rewrite to spite Jason.

Next update: Ch. 2 — March 2021

There are some things written in the stars

Timeless AU

Next update: Ch. 4 - April 2021

Choices We Make

Greys Anatomy AU.

Next update: Ch. 9 - April 2021

___________________________________________________________

If you’ve made it to the end of this long-ass update post, I commend you. lol But hopefully for those of you wondering when certain things will be published or what upcoming fics you can expect from me, this provides some clarity!

You may have noticed I took off the expected publish dates. I’m trying like hell to stick to a schedule, but I can’t make any promises and I hated letting anyone down if something didn’t get published on the expected date.

Shoutout to my BAHSA babes for keeping me sane, thebellarkes Discord for enabling my angsty-ass fic ideas (and for prompting me for BLM to write a ton of said ideas). Forever grateful for a community of people who support my writing!

Come hang out with me on AO3 @stealing-jasons-job or Twitter @stealjasonsjob!

#madison writes things #my fic list

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chemicalpink · 5 years

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Bonding(M)♡ Park Jimin

Pairing: Stripper!Jimin x Dom!Reader

Genre: Smutttt , Steamy(ish), Stripper!AU, College!AU

Summary: in which Jimin is known (and fawned over) for being a stripper, whereas the reader is secretly working as a dominatrix for both money and research on her psych major, until Jimin discovers her and asks her for a favour in return to not spreading her secret.

Word Count: almost 3k

Warnings: honestly… some dom on dom action and a bit of plot if you look closely

A/N: It started with a kinda ehhh plot, got lost in the middle, ended up being smut af, and the end… i just idk I kinda want to make a fluffy part 2 if you like this mess. Also, please bear with me, I just recently got into a fandom again after 5 years on hiatus. K love u. Oh! and requests are always open!

You can read Part II here!

“I heard that just by looking at you once, she has you all hardened” some guy gushed over to his friend in a quiet voice

“But nobody has really seen her face” another voice joined as you rushed by to get to your Behavioural Analysis class. 214...214….This was the third time you were late to class, work has just been too much lately, not that you were complaining, money-wise it was great, the word was getting around pretty fast, and research was just as good but sometimes you wondered if it was really worth the sweat dripping down your back as you ran from the bus station to get to class.

The door made a creaking noise and you flinched a little as you took a seat at the back of the room, next to a platinum-haired boy you, unfortunately, knew too well.

“Miss (Y/N)” the whole room seemed to turn to look at you as the professor acknowledge your presence and you felt your heart skip a beat, anticipating the worst “Its the third time this week that you try to sneak into my lecture” you wouldn’t normally care about some man’s piercing eyes towards you, it was actually a part of your job to step over that type of confidence, but this was just… not your stage, you turned to look down, his gaze somehow becoming overpowering

“I overslept. My apologies” a stifled giggle made its way from your left side and you felt the sudden urge to roll your eyes at who it belonged to… Park Jimin. It’s not that you hated him. You just hated the fact that of all places, you had to coexist with him in the same class, same campus, the same era in time.

You really weren’t sure what evil you had done that the universe just seemed to get you back ten times stronger. Having to share a classroom with Jimin was bad enough already, he seemed to make your inside bubble every time he talked, but when the professor asked for you and him to be involved in a differential, it just had to be a payback for always arriving late. You were 99% sure at any time you would implode. The case was pretty simple tho, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Which seemed to fit perfectly to your classmate, so you thought about playing your cards in front of everyone, maybe if you were that someone that just shook their little brains, they would finally comprehend they were praising an egocentric little bitch.

You could feel Jimin’s eyes waiting for you expectantly as soon as the teacher called out your name “Well NPD would pretty much sum it all up” and there it was, the same stifled giggle from before

“Childhood trauma would also do it, Y/N” his tone was teasing you, and you knew better than to get involved but it was just not your day, your whole body turned towards him and a teasing smiled crept its way to your face

“I thought you would know better, Jimin” his eyes squinted at you “Exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy toward other people… sounds a lot like you” the whole class seemed to quiet down as you said it. No one had ever dared to talk to THE Park Jimin that way… not with his status on campus.

“Should I keep going?” you felt your heart beating faster as you tried to keep up with his eyes-that were glued on you as he clicked his tongue and bowed his head as if asking you to proceed “Self-perception of being unique, superior, and associated with high-status people, Sense of entitlement to special treatment and to obedience from others-”

“And that would be it for today, you are dismissed” your eyes were still locked with Jimin’s as everyone gathered their things, you heart not slowing down and a boiling feeling within you, much to your surprise, Jimin was the first one to break eye contact, getting ready to stand up and leave the classroom, his right hand was already pushing the door open when he turned around to face you, still packing up your things.

“You know, Y/N, it's so brave of you to talk that way taking into account what you do for a living” you felt your heart rate quicken and you began to breathe rapidly. He-no. he couldn’t. Could he? No.

“I don’t know what you are talking about” “Sure you don’t” stop the overthinking Y/N. He doesn’t know. No one knows.

“So tell me… where should I pick you up if ...you know, I want your services” you could swear your heart stopped beating for a second just before the boiling sensation of rage took over and venomously spatted “I’m not like you” he chuckled

“Of course not, kitten. I dance for a living. You make people cum” something took over you as the last word left his mouth.

That side you didn’t use except for work, just happened to overdrive your body and within seconds you had THE Park Jimin pined against a wall. Yes, the same guy that was way too famous for making all the girls swoon over him during Friday nights after class, in a small strip club just outside campus. The Park Jimin was an overly famed dom and took pride in it.

And you- well you had your fair share of fame, but in a legend, almost mystic type of way. No one was supposed to know you were the famous dominatrix that attended every. single. need from the people visiting her small studio-like office, a few blocks away from where the boy danced his life away.

“So I guess its true then” he smiled that teasing smile of his, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t make your knees just a little bit weak “you do make any guy harden at your touch” you let your hand fall from his chest and quickly turned away as you tried to steady your breath

“Listen… no one can know about this” he smirked as his eyes somewhat darkened. You knew this look. You would have to pay the price of his silence

“Just tell me already how much its gonna cost, you perv” your tone was kind of desperate as you stole a glimpse of the classroom’s clock and realised that you were already late for work. “a hundred? I’ll get them by the end of the week”

“Actually” he paused as he looked at you as if something seemed funny to him about this whole situation “Social service will do this time. I’ll stop by your dorm tonight” you slowly felt whatever it was that possessed you a while ago. Rage? Indignation? Both? Whatever it meant that he would stop by your dorm, you weren’t having it.

“I have work tonight”

“So do I” so… there really was no way around it

“Listen, money is no problem Jimin”

“I know. But unless you’d like the whole campus to know who our beloved and mysterious dominatrix is… I’ll see you… let’s say, 2 am?” he bit his lip as he exited the room. Not giving you a chance to even consider manipulating him into getting your way, which was indeed, your speciality.

The thing was, between attending evening classes, late-night work, homework and maintaining a somewhat normal social life, Jimin stopping by to whatever he meant by ‘social service’ meant you’d have to cram your studying time.

Work went by pretty quickly. And you couldn’t help but keep on wondering what was waiting for you with Jimin. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of what you did for a living… but it would lose its spark if people knew who you were.

Your head started to ache as you started getting ready to leave. It was already 1:30 am, which meant that it would take you around 20 minutes to get to your dorm and hopefully have enough time to change out of the red kinky thigh-high leather boots your work required that day.

But boy were you one to get the times wrong.

As you entered the hall of the unit, your eyes fell on a very glittery Jimin sitting on the floor outside your studio, unbuttoned black shirt and phone in hand.

You walked up to him, exhaling loudly as an attempt to calm yourself down. You nudged his side with the tip of your boots. He looked up.

“I was about to call you, but then I realised that I didn’t have your number” great. so he was an asshole and also had lame pick up lines. You really wondered how exactly did he have so many girls falling for him

“And you’re not getting it” you opened the door and motioned for him to enter “Come on in, and may I ask, how exactly you got into the girl’s unit?”

“Ah… little Y/N. I can get any girl to do whatever it is that I please” you closed your eyes as another wave of pain hit you

“Yeah… you stay here. I’ll just go grab an aspirin” the dorm wasn’t big, as a matter of fact, your bed was just a few steps from the ‘living room’ where you left Jimin, but it did what it promised, let you crash.

You could have sworn you were gone less than a minute before encountering a semi-naked Jimin propped up on your bed, striking what he might have thought of as a sexy pose, patting the bed by his front side for you to sit “Okay. I’m done. Get out”

He sat up “No, wait. I really need this. And you too, Y/N” he smiled at you, but not that smirk you had been used to seeing, the smile that radiated confidence and ego but one that almost seemed friendly, one that made him look innocent, cute, dare you say it.

“A favour for a favour. As classmates that do kind of the same for a living” You grabbed the chair from your desk and sat in it, crossing your arms. Willing to put on a fight for as long as it benefited you

“Fine. Be quick”

“I’m just asking for a few minutes of your night, once a week. I need help with my show. And who knows? you might end up liking it” and there it was, every ounce of liking towards him that he built with the friendly smile and appealing to the sentiment of belonging to the same team. Gone

“No way”

“Fine. Then just be ready for your little secret to come out” Was it really worth it? He did say, just a few minutes every week. But the thought of having Jimin over, dancing and doing who know what in your dorm, was unbearable. Then again, he did say he needed it.

“Just a few minutes every week?”

“Yeah”

“Fine then stop by tomorrow. Same time” he smiled brightly at you “Now get lost. I need sleep”

What happened the next night though, nothing could have prepared you for it. Your assistant told you you had a new client coming, so as per usual, you were ready to test him out from simple to more complex things. You heard the door closing as some footsteps approached the bed behind you

“Just stay there. I’ll be with you in a second”

“God. those bunny ears really do suit you, Y/N” you could have sworn that your heart skipped a beat as you felt heat building up inside you, from rage. But this was somewhat to your advantage, he had just stepped in the lion’s den and had no idea

“I thought we agreed on meeting in my dorm” you said as you walked up to the bed, taking a seat behind him, with his back between your thighs

“I thought this might be more fun” of course he was more than excited to play this game, but you weren’t going to let him win.

Something flashed in his eyes. Something you have become very familiar with. Lust. And then Jimin pushes you against the wall, his fingers laced with yours, your back against the cold wall that held all of your work tools. And you saw what he was going for. Tying you up. But you were having none of it. In a matter of seconds, it was him pressed against the wall, his eyes reflecting the pink led lights from the room. You held tightly on his crotch as he tried to gain dominance over you, keeping him in his place. He just smirks.

You stay there for a moment, him locked under you, and the two of you stare at each other like you’re waiting for someone to make a move. A stalemate. And then you can’t tell who breaks it first, but somehow your lips collide in a hungry, urgent kiss. He kisses you deep, hungrily, desperately, like he wants to consume you whole. As you let your firm grip go, his touch is rough, his fingers grip so tight against your hip that it hurts, and the pain just spurs on the arousal beginning to pool in your belly.

Jimin bites your lower lip as he pulls away, his eyes scanning over your face. The room felt silent, steamy like the bright lights were invited you two to step it up, taunting you to take it forward. Your breath hisses in involuntarily as you look down at the bulge in his pants, your eyes flitting back up to Jimin’s face. He has a cocky calm look on his face, and it occurs to you that you had never expected Park Jimin the stripper to be like this.

For a moment you consider stopping, standing up and strolling out. This is a bad idea, the rational side of your brain chides. He’s… himself, the single-cell brained asshole that always sits beside you in class, the self-centred stripper Park Jimin, this is so wrong. But when you look into Jimin’s dark eyes and see the way he licks his lip while staring you up and down, the confidence that emanates from him. And all reason flies out of your head. You want him.

“C’mon spread those legs for me” he whispers to your ear and you can feel his hot breath tickling your neck. He knows what he’s doing. He knows what to say. Saying it without cockiness or nastiness but stating it firmly and calmly… sweet God.

But this is a game you are not allowing yourself to lose. The hand you have been keeping on his crotch rapidly makes its way into his pants, stroking him over his underwear. He lets out a suppressed grunt and the sound makes you smile.

Your smile widens when you stop stroking and grab him full in your hand and feel his thighs stiffen. Somehow his lips find their way to your neck, placing you in his previous stand, bot of your bottoms soon discarded, as he held both of your hands behind you, you felt a warmness near your pussy, followed by his voice.

“Tell me how much you want it”

“I don’t beg” everything that had gone thorough between you two in the past few minutes was better than anything you could have imagined. But the way he seemed so bothered by you not sticking to his dominant side’s orders just made you even wetter and weak in the knees.

And then Jimin slides inside of you.

The last thing you see before closing your eyes and succumbing into pure please was Jimin’s jaw clenching, his platinum hair all messed up. He takes it slow, likely on purpose, and you let out a cry at the feeling. His cock is thicker than what you’re used to, and it stretches you out. It’s been such a long time since you’ve had sex, and when you did have time in the past, it was always rushed. You, dominantly riding a guy until you had a quick, mildly satisfying orgasm. But it was never this – dominated, teased, sprawled under a man with plump lips and a silky smooth voice.

When he’s finally all the way inside of you, you release a long breath that you didn’t even know you’d been holding in. You hear Jimin let out a stuttering breath, the two of you are still for a moment, just feeling one another, you exchange silent glances to which you weren’t quite sure the meaning of and then Jimin starts to thrust.

He is fucking into you hard, his pace steady and at just the right speed to have you crying out his name while shutting your eyes and drawing your nails into his back for balance, or maybe just to somehow be able to feel him closer. The blood is rushing to your face and you’re slightly dizzy from the mask you have on but all you can feel is him, the loud slap of skin resonating between the four walls of the small room as he slams into you.

You can hear the vocalizations he makes with every thrust, grunts, growls, and then small soft mewls as he arches upwards and hits you at different angles. Each push of his cock leaves you a writhing mess beneath him. Just as you feel an unavoidable heat forming in the lower part of your belly, he stops. He completely stops. Steals one last glance at you, adding his signature smirk after pulling his pants on and leaves you there. All worked up against the wall, your mouth hanging open as he walks out. If you didn’t hate Park Jimin before, you were sure as hell you did now.

#bts scenarios #bts fic #bts imagines #jimin imagine #jimin smut #jimin fanfic #jimin fic #jimin oneshot #jimin one shot #park jimin smut #park jimin fanfic #park jimin oneshot #jimin fanfiction #jimin fluff #bts smut #bts jimin

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shibalen · 4 years

Note

(1/4)I’d like to request a matchup for Kuroshitsuji, OHSHC,&Free please. I’m an INTP bisexual female with slightly above shoulder-length black hair and a fringe. (Although, I do have an undercut as well so it’s a bit “odd” to most people. Basically, with my hair normally, I look like a young Japanese school girl but with my hair tied-up, I look like “a delinquent.”) I also need glasses however, I tend to avoid using them unless I’m on a device of sorts or reading for a prolonged period of time.

(2/4) I’m a 5’1 Capricorn and as such, I am known to be a very independent person who gets what they want done. The downside to this is if I’m forced to do something, my efficiency drops dramatically and so I’d think it’s quite useless to tell me to do something I have no interest in. Also, people who have met me for the first time tend not to take me seriously when I speak straightforwardly or pointedly because of my short stature. English is my 2nd language and Japanese is my 3rd.

(3/4) My hobbies include reading, writing, painting, drawing, and anything within the field of arts. Because of this, I’ve been told that I’m quite smart as I can ace an important exam without having studied seriously prior. Most of my time goes to my hobbies and so I don’t really bother with academics so as long as I don’t fail nor let my grades fall too low, I don’t put for much effort in school. I prefer to be alone or with another individual rather than in groups when it comes to working.

(4/4) or simply conversing as I tend to get overwhelmed with too much company (which, sadly, makes me more irritable and snappy at people.) I’m a classic(?)introvert case and because of my disorganized emotional nature, people tend to think I’m bi-polar. Sometimes, I’d like to be left alone since I prefer working seriously but I also like being affectionate towards people I like or cherish. Thank you for entertaining this long ask and I do apologize for it as well. Have a nice day!

♡ matchup for @vincent0kirishima

hello! i'm glad to have gotten to your matchup at last! i once again apologise for the delay °~°

future requests keep in mind that i only accept two fandoms per request. also, remember to send max three asks. i made this an exception because i forgot about the rule myself for a moment.

|| Kuroshitsuji: i match you with . . .

Beast

You give me such a strong vibe that I think matches incredibly with Beast's intense personality

A badass and beautiful woman with a smaller but just as powerful and independent woman ♡

Beast has quite an ill temper but I think your nature can balance it out well – your presence naturally soothes her fits

Then, during the times you're snappy she'll be the calm one to help you feel better

If you ever start feeling overwhelmed by crowds (or anything really) you know she will be there for you. Beast is an extremely devoted lover and cannot bear seeing you in any type of distress

She couldn't honestly care less about many other people but for you she'll be soft in a heartbeat

"Are you feeling all right?"

"This crowd is making me tired."

"That's all right, we can leave . . . Hey, bastards, you'd better shut your traps! y/n and I are going!"

A D O R E S your intelligence

Beast herself is quite smart as well but is used to working hard to get what she wants

She won't tell you what to do but will be stern when it comes to keeping your grades where you want them

But please don't get her wrong! She's there to remind you of your deadlines and homework, knowing it will save you from unnecessary stress later on

Also keeps and eye out whenever you need to wear your glasses

She just wants the best for you ♡

Arts are straight up Beast's alley! She'd be more than happy to watch to you indulge in your interests. Even more she'd love to take part in them with you

Quality time is extremely important to her so if you spend your day painting or drawing together she'd be over the moon ♡(> ਊ <)♡

Writes a lot of poems and lets you read them any time you want. If another person dares to sneak a peek though they might as well be dead

Some of the poems she creates are especially for you. She puts them into an envelope scented with her perfume and leaves them by your bedside in the mornings ♡

Imagine showing you her preforming act before the big show and asking for your opinion on improvements. Beast values your ideas and accepts your constructive criticism

Betty likes you too, and, unless you're afraid of her, she will nuzzle up to you ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

May whatever force out there have mercy on the poor soul that doesn't take you seriously because Beast certainly won't

She'll tear them to shreads if they dare to belittle you

She knows well how much you're capable of and won't allow anyone to think any less of you

Although I think she would prefer parties, I also believe that it's fine, seeing as you need your alone time. While Beast is out socalising you're usually at home recharging or working

At the end of the day you'll be affectionate in private – holding each other, talking about your day and just enjoying each other's presence

Loves holding you late at night

She still takes you out from time to time though. Amusement parks and carnivals at night are a favorite of hers: there aren't many people around to bother you but at the same time there are lots of fun activities for you to emerge yourselves in

Your appearance was a bonus that drew Beast in! It's cool af the way you can look sweet or more like a "delinquent" depending on your hairstyle

She loves adding touches of makeup to match whichever look you decide to go with (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)

Overall this is a more balanced relationship than what it may appear at first. You have just the right amount differences and similarities

I still can't get over the badass aura y'all would emit

So here, good folks, we have a couple you do not mess with

runner up: Sebastian Michaelis

|| OHSHC: i match you with . . .

Kyoya Ootori

Smart couple™ that everyone goes to for homework answers

It was definitely your go-getter attitude that made me pick Kyo for ya (ba dum tss). You're smart and driven just like him, which is great trait to share

You're both goal-oriented, knowing better than to let small problems in your relationship cause conflict

This strengthens your bond, proving to be something that brings you closer ♡

He helps keeping your emotional state in check

Probably didn't take you seriously either the first time you met I'm sorry it was too amusing for him to watch as you explained something from all the way down there

But in the end you proved him wrong and how so

Next time his smile was different, finding you interesting in a much better light

Never again fails to acknowledge your smarts. He doesn't need to tell you what to do or how to do it because you know those things for yourself

Finds it hot attractive as heck

Still, he wants you to see that you're able to achieve much more in academics and encourages you to bring out the best in yourself

Will talk to you in whichever language you'd like. He's an educated boy and has no problem speaking English (or probably any widely-spoken language)

Supports you wholeheartedly should you want to learn Japanese more in depth, and loves it when you speak it

Respects your introverted nature. Kyoya isn't a party person either so rest assured he won't be dragging you around to socialise. He understands well how being around a crowd can effect your mood

If you must make an appearance along side Kyoya, he makes sure your stay is as short as possible to ensure you wouldn't be overwhelmed by the mass

You gradually grow used to the rest of the funky members of the host club so you still hang out with them on your free time

Cue you and Kyoya silently watching their shenanigans unfold and making profit from them

Kyoya doesn't get jealous easily but it does internally annoy him a great deal if Tamaki along with Hikaru and Kaoru gather around you to ask all sorts of questions. Yep that's definitely not jealously.

But if the two of you are alone together you either choose to paint or read together (seriously, he could go about it for hours with you) or possibly study for an upcoming exam

This is where Kyoya encourages you to read the textbook just a little longer, solve another question, using, of course, bribing

Tickets to a theatre, writing utensils – anything you have wanted for a while

Kyoya naturally knows all the right strings to pull to motivate you, it might get a bit annoying every time he pulls that sly smirk

You get him back by putting ridiculous theme ideas into Tamaki's head, that are fun for everyone else except Kyoya

Just, you two could con 2 million out of a casino and no one would be surprised

There is overall a lot of playful competition between the two of ya

Plenty of witty and sarcastic remarks – everyone can see you're made for each other ♡

"Full marks yet again? I must say I'm impressed."

"It's only a natural talent. What, is the great Kyoya Ootori in need of a tutor?"

"Only if the session is private and you're my teacher."

Just kiss already

And get a room

Because Kyoya isn't a morning person, it's up to you to gently wake him up with some coffee and sweets and a smooch

He may grumble underneath the covers but it's one of those rare moments he's actually flustered

So soft (*´ω｀*)

runner up: (sorry, i was bribed to erase this part. tehe c(⑅ ◔ڼ◔)っ)

thank you for requesting! i'm sorry i didn't draw a clear conclusion with the second match but i felt ending it like that was fine (please agree) ^^ i truly hope you liked it! have a good day, dear ♡

#anime matchups #ohshc #kyoya ootori #kuroshitsuji #beast kuroshitsuji #len's matches #vincent0kirishima #matchups

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incarnateirony · 5 years

Text

Time for a rant

And some hard fucking truths about this fandom. And shipping culture. And related LGBT issues.

Edit for reblog: Since everybody’s trying to be highkey mad about everything right now, if the cut didn’t warn you, or the title, that this is going to be an unpopular AF opinion you should read all of before jumping to any conclusions, let this edit notice be that. But this post includes a bunch of shit. History I more recently and more fully talked about. The LGBT men I know that won’t touch this fandom with a ten foot pole because of shipping dialogue. And the accidental two season canon Destiel RP troll that we finally snapped and voiced beyond the meta wall from PURE EXHAUSTION.

(related posts in reference: (x) (x) (x) )

we know season great we know season 9 and its potential we know season 10 -- and most of us know its cut scenes humanity, being human, colette, the altar of winchester, the secret admirer, the boyfriends that strapped into the abaddon/colette parallels, all of it we know carver himself wrote the s10 finale and got it to film and then it got cut we know s9 he gave misha a note to play as jilted lovers from the showrunner but then we ask why did this never make it well nobody in fandom was paying attention nobody paid attention to SPN struggling the first seasons nobody paid attention to gamble's era almost getting nuked they all swore up and down this outdated americana show was about to have a queer pairing go canon because, yes, at that point *reads crumbled note* wallpaper

In fact that last one, to this date, no much how much legitimate structural meta or even deadass text current meta fandom breaks down, whether they just study the microcosm of Destiel or the macrocosm of the text with Destiel as a piece of it, can not escape the claims of *reads note again* wallpaper and T-shirts.

one year into Carver who was pulling the show out of the cancellation trashcan and vying for it to continue now that it was on netflix a DUMBASS EXEC wandered into twitter and opted to talk to fans

the goddamn network CEOship had just rotated even

”Well I blame” [disembodied force outside of our own]

no honestly I blame (parts of) pre S9 meta fandom, and I say that as a meta author they had been convincing people of intent for years When these showrunners and even rotating network execs were thrashing for life Like literally even the heads of the CW were changing not even just SPN but some fucking how the “sages” of that era didn’t have any gat damn insight onto how that might influence future engagements So out of the blue a newish network crew gets BLINDSIDED by accusations of queerbait and giant danger articles that are huge PR bombs and it turns into protect the product mode which turned into the new S10 press releases with the spontaneous sexuality field on the characters and half the filmed content ending up on the floor the short end of it is fandom fucked up hard Carver was fighting for them But in result he got a corporate shut down on a product he had ironically exploded globally too well that was earning too much profit too quickly to catch that kind of bad PR Chad Kennedy was a fateful fucking day Ever since then showrunners have had to pitch the idea at corporate when it was a nonissue before And prove why it's a valid move with test groups and marketing You can say "prove it" I really don't have to in this rant, I really do not give a SHIT if you believe me, I don’t CARE if you want to reject what is otherwise logic because I’m not about to throw anybody under a bus I really like not getting people in trouble, but this alone is a glint in the fucking RADAR of how I'm going off.

hell ask yourself why we went from Robbie calling Destiel canon to being eviscerated by queerbait claims because it didn’t fulfill what a specific audience wanted or expected, to deleting his post, to only annual actors free of their contracts daring to talk about Destiel, to corporate shutdowns where it’s crickets until Emily’s return where she’s started YOLO posting about it -- but why, why, why did we go from actual support and discussion to silence that you still rage about

Without the season nine kennedy explosion I'm pretty sure we would have had inarguable destiel canon in season 10 like late s10 Carver passed his torch to Dabb mid S11 where they kept stringing it out and ramping it up within restrictions which is why Dabb runs a very weird fucking line Dabb knows he has no promise of getting it as far as his forebearer wanted or even had written AND FILMED but he will hedge out as many lines, esp with the hand of Berens that Carver originally passed the directorial note with, as he can Wayward was a huge factor in that and tbh my hope died when Wayward died that was a HUGE weight in the network Berens was pulling

I'm at a point where i've conceded to our jane austen novel but want to see how far they take that to completion, though in reality that completion was 13.5/6 that's when I went from like, I passively enjoy and accept this content to screaming into the dumpster it's not the landmark people wanted but story structure wise within how SPN handles it's the sufficient one Recalling Dean's implicative hookups since like season six I mentioned on one hand The fact that they went full circle and bookended it in direct script mirror to Lisa after the S13 lead in would be amply sufficient to het drama and I refuse to enable hets running around the goalpost on queer people I would love better open blunt representation but I also recognize the genre of the show It's something Dean and I struggle with our server actually DeanCas have been canon for a season and a half here but maintaining that without taking a distracting romantic genre tilt or whatever is its own form of challenge We write established relationship openly, without bars, to the point we DMed each other for months like WHEN WILL THEY CATCH ON WTF but the problem, ironically, is that it's so parallel to the show nobody caught on

which really, though it didn't start as a conscious experiment, and was natural tells me everything I need to know even wiping what I knew on production and itk ends even if I just had that it says e v e r y t h i n g I have literally watched people laugh track completely serious content, because it's gay ergo it's funny LGBT people. Shippers.

I wrote subtle lines. They got ignored. I wrote blunt lines. They flew past heads. I wrote lines designed to be overt to the point of painful. They got laughed off. Het culture is a hell of a drug. Both in this RP and in how we interpret romances like DeanCas, even LGBT people and shippers, because people are expecting performative results and statements where either for the former they don't fit the show or genre or for the latter, there's some sort of restriction or imposition but there's authors writing their gay little hearts out and tearing their hair out after.

I've been the author tearing my hair out until I wrote a Cas, explicitly, in a moment, to be as blunt and straightforward and unmistakable as I could, to the point I felt I was bending the character to even make it happen, and debated my options for like ten minutes before doing it, just to free myself of this purgatory. And STILL got a wash of questions wanting me to *confirm* the content they just saw instead of going, gee, that’s PROBABLY WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

Dabb is fighting the good gay fight and being woefully under respected for it, with Berens as his copilot, carrying a torch given to him by Carver, but people are too wrapped up in a mix of prior bitterness, performative culture, personal demands and shipping culture to see the forest for the trees, because he's deadass just writing an established fucking relationship but people would rather yell either queerbait or destroying the relationship. PR deadass pitched Absence like a het breakup drama and nobody blinked, just yelled how mean it was

Am I hinging my hopes on hammer-on-head-overt-canon-kissing-scene-DeanCas for the final season, no. Would I be surprised if it happened, knowing the execs? No, beyond breaking past corporate walls fandom dropped like a curtain in S9

But considering how "fuck performative culture" Berens is, as a gay man, fangirls absolutely should not fucking expect that either in even the most wild "the chains are broken, burn it all" method

Every queer man I know ships Destiel. Simultaneously, every queer man I know fucking loathes the sum of shipping culture with a vengeance.

Because it's grossly out of touch with MLM and is mostly WLW people trying to speak for what they think MLM should be when we already pretty much have the MLM right there.

YOU WANNA KNOW HOW THE ACTUAL QUEER MEN I KNOW SEE HOW THIS FANDOM HANDLES DESTIEL DESPITE BEING AVID SHIPPERS WHO SEE IT AS CANON ALREADY AND GET SCREAMED DOWN?

And since everyone likes to imagine the straight male audience as some borg, have a straight male friend exploding when someone called a fandom speakpiece a trainwreck. Bless his heart for not getting what queer or bi really mean situationally but his heart’s in the right place

I’m tired. Tired of trying to illustrate this to an audience I realized I have never once in my life been straight-coded enough to incorporate myself to much less understand the lensing of. Tired of watching queer men that I know who love this shit hide away in the recesses of DMs to hide from conversations lest they be accused of being homophobes or whatever by people refusing to read context, and/or just be smacked down by actual homophobes or just deadass rival shippers that refuse to see anybody be happy with something they don’t like in something that was never realistically a rivalry to begin with, because rivalry implies relative equality-ish and while all ships are equal in fanon, they aren’t necessarily in canon, and despite the thrashing and baying of antis this isn’t and will never just be a “fanon ship.”

Unpopular opinion but the biggest enemy to LGBT people isn't hets, it's the LGBT community, because we're too busy invalidating own own content and creators to make a truly unified front against het culture (or in this case, the network), and waving a flag with a lot of letters doesn't do anything to fix that. Yelling online into tumblr doesn’t fix that. @’ing creatives who have no power in this beyond the option to drop any attempt at queer resonant content cold turkey for you all to yell at them about THAT too doesn’t fix it.

No, yes, DeanCas are perfectly valid as Thebian warriors where one is clearly ace spectrum and the other is bisexualish if repressed as long as they are clearly enamored with and engaged with each other; no, nobody needs to fulfill anybody's migrating quota list when every romantic checkbox has been hit already that would be respected if they're het; would coming out statements in this sort of complicated relationship be great, sure, but they aren't in the kind of show that even addresses that and there's no way to make them even perform as the isolationists that they are without breaking or damaging the characters, not in the public eye, not in a show that hasn't shown a single sexual dean encounter for six-plus seasons for any other reason than to highlight a major traumatic problem in his life.

No, I wasn’t “hiding my gays.” My gays just didn’t have their bedroom times put on blast while they even openly made comments about the nature of their relationship everybody flagged down because they weren’t making out in front of everyone, even if that hand *did* drag a shoulder too long, even if Dean *Did* inexplicably drag a naked flatlining human Cas into the FUCKING med bay out of the Dean Cave at like 6 AM in the morning. Yes, your dedication to talking down content is that fucking loud even if you don’t realize it.

SPN is never going to be a show where the characters distinctly identify "I'm a nonbinary demiman ace-spectrum demisexual" and "i'm an aromantic bisexual with a female inclination", it's just not, stop trying to make it happen, it isn't gonna happen, realistically they are not the kind of people to engage gender politics, they're just going to be themselves. And it's queer, and it's beautiful. Fandom needs to stop moving goalposts because it's becoming more and more transparent. They just need to __. Go to dinner, check, have lingering touches walking past each other, check, admit love for one or the other, check, watches the goalpost run off into the horizon Kiss, you mean kiss, you want them to kiss, but Dean hasn't had that in how many years and what was the framing of the last moment of that.

SPN isn't about romance. Antis are right in that. But romance exists in SPN and one needs to mind the framework of it to not tilt the entire central focus of a genre show. One can have romance without being about romance, but people need to be conscious of what that means before they advocate about it. When Ruby or Anna were around they were dangerously close to becoming "about romance" which is why there was such a goddamn fit because these women were clearly tailor crafted to be plugged into a light/dark parallel in the back of the Impala

They haven't had a kissing-based romance in SPN for eight years. Ten if you cut past Lisa as a literal prop.

And if we wanna demand creator confirmation before we consider ace-y romances valid we'll talk about the biromantic commentary of S8 or the jilted lovers of S9 or the confirmed parallels of S10 or any of the overt shit after that, which got hit by marketing walls. We had that. They got yelled at for queerbait. Because it didn't hit people's quota. So we yet again hit a wall. Shipping fandom exhausts me. And I say that as a DeanCas shipper

I am literally watching people run their own goalposts around all the goddamn time Cas is so much more than becoming background commentary in the back of the impala like ruby and anna were geared to be He's his own goddamn individual, currently all but free of the wants and lusts of man from food to sleep to drink to urination to sex to PBJ, but deeply enamored -- per actual citation on the S8 DVD -- with humanity by proxy of a man he's given everything for Dean is a complicated individual who is growingly aware of his tug and pull with Cas on all emotional spectrums but has never once cheapened him to just being a sexual tool, reasons of which we can headcanon away, but he's never turned Cas into one of his bad coping mechanisms like Porn Star or Amazon or Deanmon's Fling And those, plus one waitress and a vague strip club incident in grief he came home from, sum up his post-lisa excursions, from a man who used to lay a different woman every episode in early seasons WelCoME to mlm cuLTURE In the actual L for love, not lust because kinda like jensen's headcanon of prostitute Dean there's even a chapter of feeling tossed away that's not what it's a b o u t and never was so performative DeanCas enrages me genuinely And if people have a genuine kink okay I guess but like, admit that's what it is. Otherwise assess the actual state and stasis of the characters in play and the cultural/gender issues involved, because it's soooo often either WLW or straight girls looking at MLM and deciding what they think it should be and it m i s s e s t h e m a r k b y a a m i l e and then the gay dudes hide in nooks or get besgieged by fangirls or are a Ben and avoid fandom entirely best Deans I've ever written with were with gay dudes tbh Kemi got the art of it enough to pre-write some scenes before they ever aired but there's elements that just vanish into the aether with either queer women or straight dudes. Different parts disappear Never had a straight girl write a Dean, don't intend to ever try wE nEed RepResEntAtiOn [sweeps hand at the show] if people stop running their goalposts around to the calls of straight girls, homophobes, and shipping culture it's right there. Is it monumental and groundbreaking, no, but SPN started as an outdated callback piece to begin with and has vaulted into the almost-current, so let's check ourselves in what we expect out of it. It's not gonna be a banner. But it's content actual queer men AVIDLY invest themselves in only to be told it's not enough/whatever in a world where there is dangerously low bi male representation, most is gay male, and most of that is hugely problematic stereotype easily replaced by a rainbow lamp wearing a boa and a sticky note pointing people towards plot. And in generous cases, are like Malec, which are a mix of creepy and stereotype. Yes let's nevermind the ancient warlock drawing the 18 year old dude into the allure of his thick eyeliner and glimmer and spandex pants, nothing to see here folks. but somehow we've reached a point as a culture that the above is considered better than "ageless deity becomes enamored with humanity through bond with one man, falling into him regardless of gender, surrendering all it knows to become like that man and protect that man, and becoming like unto a man, and learning the ways of man, through all classic romantic tropes known to man, and even classic endings and bookends of all romances given to man, only to settle in to a stable relationship baseline with a man, after sharing courtship gifts with a man" just because somebody, some fucking where, in a mix of bitterness, homophobia, and goalpost moving decided "public kiss or it doesn't count" even if we're left to wonder how that timeless thing knew what was under his pillow he kept safe that he came into his room and played him to get after a classic romantic gift.

Stop. It.

Yall may be wanting to victim pose because somebody else convinced you that you were a victim here but I’m a middle aged person willing to view history and accept basic FUCKING responsibility.

Because there’s a distinct fucking difference between “victim blaming” and “have some perspective and some basic adult responsibility in the unfolding of history as it happened rather than reframing it post-event because somebody else convinced you that’s what happened”.

The only people anyone is victims of in this fandom is people they took the word of as gospel without them having any sort of actual developmental insight at the time.

You wanna play victim?

Take it up with them.

As a modern meta author that primarily deals with actual legend and theology mytharc with a side of DeanCas structure I STILL run in to walls from antis erected by the people before me that did, indeed, use the methods they whip up as excuses, so if you’re gonna victim pose, I’m just as much of a victim of those people as you are, difference is I wasn’t enough of a follower to believe them when they preached “performative queer canon gospel to meet fangirl hetnorm performative demands of MLM we mainstreamed into our basic expectations because somebody told us to” at the time or now or ever.

In fact, here’s the conversation that LED INTO THIS RANT.

CastielToday at 12:27 AM Old SPN has its values in a form of nostalgia or genre-searching it had a sort of drifter grifter americana vibe the later seasons lost

GarthToday at 12:27 AM Ah, early 2000's

CastielToday at 12:28 AM Well it's more than just year it was definitely a genre piece back then

GarthToday at 12:28 AM No, I know, but shows that span a long time you can track in it where you can tell writers styles started clashing in a way

CastielToday at 12:28 AM and that genre was pretty much dead at that point so even when it was new, it induced nostalgia "This is familiar I miss this where did this go" but in being so oldschool as it aged forward it aged worse and worse against the modern and Misha was the first bolt that really sparked a dynamic shift it was a breath of fresh air that carried it through kripke's plan and almost doubled its respective viewership in scale but still kept the old spirit Gamble desperately tried to capture that spirit but did not understand the actual essence of that spirit and budget restrictions didn't help due to twitter buzz she thought that spirit was "just duh brudders" which is dangerously reductionist

GarthToday at 12:30 AM Hey, Misha saved it in more then one way.

CastielToday at 12:30 AM the brothers were ironic vehicles for that spirit that gave it faces but it was a weird form of american dream that america hadn't realized its dream had warped into 50 years ago the american dream was a 3/2 bed bath and business degree

StarfiraToday at 12:31 AM I don't get how Gamble thought Misha's Cas was expendable. She just couldn't get her mindset out of s1-3 mentality I guess.

CastielToday at 12:31 AM but as that became labored with culture and debt the american dream drifted into freedom, exploration and the road with some sense of familiarity in classics, be it cars or music

GarthToday at 12:31 AM Funny, I can watch some episodes and go "huh... well... it gets better" and that says a lot that I view Se1-3 like that

CastielToday at 12:32 AM Once security was no longer a security, and people became anchored by their illusions of security into desperate survival to maintain that illusion of security, the idea of roadster americana was the new american dream

GarthToday at 12:32 AM Hmmm good point

Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:32 AM I just looked at spn Facebook comments and geeeezzz

GarthToday at 12:33 AM I keep having to remind myself about a few details outside of SPN because being able to just wait for Netflix to get a new season then rewatch it all from the beginning has made me have a different view then others.

CastielToday at 12:33 AM So especially to the older generation older SPN has a strong nostalgic value you were lik six when it aired so that era is gone to you

GarthToday at 12:34 AM Yeah, 1996 Nov is me

Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:34 AM One dude on Facebook said he resents that the actors have kids since he heard that part of the reason that it's ending is because J2M want more time with their families Wtf

CastielToday at 12:34 AM Whereas when it first aired

GarthToday at 12:34 AM I first watched when I was 14

CastielToday at 12:34 AM it was reflecting an age lost

GarthToday at 12:34 AM Aryn, wtf?

CastielToday at 12:34 AM to people desperately trying to find it but in reflecting old times it aged very poorly Gamble still didn't understand what made the appeal so regressed it to brothers without that true americana vibe while culling Cas which was a disaster

GarthToday at 12:35 AM See, it's like the same thing on how I can enjoy some older shows while understanding that it no longer works anymore. Older shows don't age well normally. And yeah, Se7 hahahahahahahhahahahahaha man once I stepped back and looked at the details of season 7 during the third rewatch I was like "hmm..... yeah. this sucks."

StarfiraToday at 12:36 AM I graduated high school in 2000 so those of you were kids when you watched SPN make me feel old. LOL

GarthToday at 12:36 AM lmao

CastielToday at 12:37 AM MOOD STAR MOOD

StarfiraToday at 12:37 AM AT LEAST I'M NOT ALONE WITH THESE YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPERS

CastielToday at 12:37 AM You were probably in the generation that if you had tuned in when it was fresh you would have been like OH I REMEMBER THIS

GarthToday at 12:37 AM LMAO

CastielToday at 12:37 AM I MISS THIS it's not by fluke that Dean's theme song is literally titled Americana

GarthToday at 12:38 AM Ah yes.... the theme song....

CastielToday at 12:38 AM It was a whole beautiful craft

StarfiraToday at 12:38 AM I'm actually in between Dean and Sam's ages

CastielToday at 12:38 AM But it had to get with the times and Gamble took it in the worst direction possible

StarfiraToday at 12:39 AM I was born in 82

CastielToday at 12:39 AM Carver... people have their issues with carver but IMO he recovered the show as well as he could with the plate he was handed in the times he was There were still problems sure

GarthToday at 12:39 AM It's gone through some ups and downs, yep.

CastielToday at 12:39 AM but to boot out of Gamble era into the modern world was no small task The WAY HE HANDLED THE PR he basically was like THAT SHIT WAS A HOT MESS AND I FLUSHED IT but eloquent it was some shit like REWATCHING THE LAST FEW YEARS I REALIZED THAT OUR LORE HAS BECOME A BIT DIFFICULT TO FOLLOW SO I DECIDED TO REVISIT MORE FAMILIAR ELEMENTS

GarthToday at 12:40 AM When the people working on the show go "shit, I forgot to make notes"

CastielToday at 12:40 AM It's not that Carver didn't make notes

StarfiraToday at 12:40 AM Oh man were so ecstatic when Carver was announced as a showrunner. Ultimately, he let me down in s9 and s10 but s8? Season 8 will always have a special place in my heart.

CastielToday at 12:41 AM it's that there was no kind way to voice that Gamble was a disaster He had a three year plan and for reasons™ got even derailed in that plan and half of it ended up in the cut footage Destiel fandom do not like hearing my take about it I'm a shipper but I recognize

StarfiraToday at 12:41 AM Is season 8 perfect? Nope, but I don't think it's easy to describe what breath of fresh air it was after the shit show of season 7 to those who weren't there when it was airing live and binged through it

CastielToday at 12:41 AM yall fucked up b a d nobody will ever own responsibility for it but carver's intent is clear as day on the creatives wall and season 9/10 became a fustercluck as a result I want everybody in this room to think about this from a creatives angle, first carver then corporate Carver said when he joined he had a three year plan with final notes on his desk from the second he walked in the door again he entered in season eight We know what happened seasons eight, nine, ten on screen

GarthToday at 12:43 AM Yeah, Star, I don't have as many problems with the seasons as others do because hello Netflix, but I can see where the issues are after some explaining and some insight into the PR stuff that happened with the fandom points at Min and others like her

CastielToday at 12:43 AM we know season great we know season 9 and its potential we know season 10 -- and most of us know its cut scenes humanity, being human, colette, the altar of winchester, the secret admirer, the boyfriends that strapped into the abaddon/colette parallels, all of it we know carver himself wrote the s10 finale and got it to film and then it got cut we know s9 he gave misha a note to play as jilted lovers from the showrunner but then we ask why did this never make it well nobody in fandom was paying attention nobody paid attention to SPN struggling the first seasons nobody paid attention to gamble's era almost getting nuked they all swore up and down this outdated americana show was about to have a queer pairing go canon because, yes, at that point reads crumbled note wallpaper

GarthToday at 12:46 AM Urgh, gotta go help with dinner prep. Mom doesn't like me being on Discord lately so I'm going to have to cut out now guys. Min, I'll catch up to your info drop afterwards lmao

since that still surprising some people too.

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snarkandsarcasmftw · 4 years

Text

2020

Uh oh, it’s time for the cranky smol one to get sappy af. Prepare yourselves. Because yeah, I’m gonna get sappy.

This past year has been… To put it bluntly, it was one hell of a ride. I moved from state to state after spending the past two years taking care of my mother, I lost important people in my life (some through my own stupidity, others simply because they showed their true colors) and I lost a pet that for 13 years roughly, was a huge part of my life. I rescued a cat. I feel like this past year taught me a lot but the most important thing that it taught me was to be thankful for who/what I have in my life, because I might not always have these things/people.

Since there’s a loooot, holy shit so much.. I’ll put a read more.

REGRETS:

First of all, to the one person I’m no longer speaking to/following on here. I just know that you were a blessing in my life while you were around. I know we couldn’t ever really be close friends like we were before everything played out, but I truly hope the best things in life happen to you. You’re a good person, always know that. I hope you’re happier now and I hope that you eventually find and embrace your own inner truth without anxiety or fear.

Secondly, there were a few people who I misjudged/let go of this past year that maybe I wish I hadn’t. If any of you are reading this, I’m so so so so sorry. I don’t know what made me do it, but I know that I just… Felt like I wasn’t as good as any of you and like I never really fit in, so rather than make you all keep dealing with me, I did what I thought was best and cut the cord. I really wish I hadn’t and I know it’s probably way too late, but I really am sorry. You were great people and I really do miss our talks and stuff. I just felt like I was in the way, so I took myself out. Anxiety is a real bitch and while that’s not an excuse for me just going silent / blocking you guys, it’s the simplest truth. I was in a bad place for a while there and in my own head too much. I’m better now, but I’m fairly sure that it’s too little & too late. So, once again, I’m so so so sorry.

NEW FRIENDS:

Oh god, where to start? I made so many new friends this year on this blue hell-site. So many. And I’m thankful for every single one of you even if I somehow miss your name. On that note,I’m sorry in advance if I do and I mean nothing by it. Also, these are in absolutely no certain order. If I tried to go alphabetically, I’d probably wind up messing it up.

@xladyxfatex I am so, so, so, so glad you sent me that meme and we started to talk. It has been so much fun rp’ing again, and I’m really enjoying getting to know you better. I love our rp and you’re such a sweet person. I can’t wait to see where this year takes us.

@writtingrose you are an amazing writer and you’re a down to earth and sweet person. I was moved by your Beautiful To Me series (it’s plus size reader, you guys MUST go read it.) and I’m so glad I reached out. I can’t wait to start our rp, if you’re still down for it. I love reading your writing and I can’t wait to get to know you better.

@komaniac I absolutely love your love for Kevin. I really don’t get to talk to you often, but I’ll see your Kevin posts and I’m like sitting on my side of the computer screen silently nodding. Your Kevin content is always making me smile. I love you for that, never change.

@rampagewriting… I can’t remember which of us reached out first, but girl. I am so so glad we’re friends. You’re an amazing and strong person and I love all your fics. I love opening our DM and yelling about things with you, whether it’s Zak Bagans ( we deffo need to go ghost hunting one day, tbh) or any of our other favorites. I’m so glad we’re friends and I hope that we get to be even better friends during 2020.

@the-ville-idiot Wren, I love you. Seriously, I love you. You’re always so bubbly and happy and like… I legit enjoy our random conversations. We have a lot in common.

@doedreamss Ashley, I mean Doe. You’re such a sweetheart and I wish I had half the life experiences you have. I love you. I enjoy talking to you about certain cowboys and certain bad boys. I love your writing, I wish I wrote more like you did, tbh. I hope you never change and I hope we stay friends. If you ever need to talk or want to talk, you’re always welcome in my DM’s.

@robwiethoff I LOVE LOVE YOUR LOVE FOR HANGMAN. I aspire to love something/someone as much, tbh. I know I’m probably annoying af, but honestly, I enjoy talking to you. I hope to get to know you better, you’re a sweetheart. I love reading your writing / hearing your ideas and honestly, just.. I send you hugs.

@adamcolesteeth I’ve really enjoyed talking to you and I genuinely thank you for the random fake fic title prompts, because I’ve really had a blast doing them. I loved your Christmas Luchasaurus fic, it was so much fun to read.

@hardcorewwetrash we may not like the same football teams, ( roll damn tide, lol) but I honestly love to read your posts. You’re a real person and the world needs more of those. You speak your mind. I honestly wish I could just do that sometimes. It’s been so fun talking to you / seeing your posts on the dash.

@country-believethat-gallowaywwe AHHHH. I LOVE THE TALKS WE HAVE ABOUT DREW. Also, thanks for all the picture inspiration you send me that one time I really, really, really needed it. I think you’re a sweetheart and I hope to get to know you better / have more talks in the future.

@twdeadfanfic I love your fics, first of all. You’re an amazing writer and you blow me away with each new one you post. I know we don’t get to talk often, but I enjoy talking to you.

@heel-rollins you are a sweetheart. I love talking to you and I wish we got to talk more, tbh.

@hamstxr I love your posts, they always make me smile. I wish we get to talk more and you seem like a really sweet person.

@kittysilver86 Kitty, I love you. You’re a positive and sweet person and your writing is so good and so fluffy yet dirty, I love it. I love Ava as a character and I love these little universes you make up. Your posts always make me smile and honestly, I just wanna hug you. I really enjoy being friends with you even though we don’t get to talk often.

@schizoauthoress You’re a really kind person. I really enjoy your posts on my dash and I love the talks we’ve had there. If you ever wanna talk my DM’s are always open. You seem really down to earth and really open and I love that. I hope to get to know you better this year.

@vonschweetz Von, I am so proud of you. You’ve been through a lot and you went above and beyond to rise out of it all and you’re thriving now. You’re a huge inspiration and you’re so freaking sweet that like.. If anyone ever tried to hurt you, I’d probably give them these hands. I love talking to you, I love looking at your edits and I really, really, really love your fics. You always make me smile.

OLD FRIENDS:

@helluvawriter you’re a kind person and I love you so much. You’re a really amazing writer and you’re always so down to earth. You were the first friend I made in the wrestling fandom way back when and even though we don’t get to talk much anymore, I love you and I love our talks when we do. You’re an amazing mother. I hope if I ever get to be a mom, I’m like you. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@andie01 holy shit.. You’re so much fun to talk to. I love that you’re as blunt as me and that we can just DM back and forth about total randomness. I love Beasts, it’s one of my favorite fanfictions of all time. I love you so much. Like.. you’re an inspiration to me and i don’t think you realize that. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@wrestlingismyguiltypleasure First of all, you’re an amazing mother. And I am so happy for you and your little family! I love talking to you, even if we don’t get to talk that much anymore, I enjoy our talks when we do. You’re going to get me to write Alpha!Ethan Carter III yet, I promise. It’s coming. You inspire me and I love the random things you send me to look at. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@kayah16 I wish I was half as creative as you. I love reading your one shots and I love you. You’re a really amazing and kind person and honestly, the world could use more of that. There are so many times I’m having an absolute shit day and I log on and you’ve sent me a recipe or tagged me in something that makes me smile. I wish I could hug you. I hope I can help you as much as you’ve helped me. If you ever need me, I’m here. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@missjenniferb I love the random thirst tags and the dm’s at 1 am, they always make me smile. I love that you tag me in Bucky things now, because that’s kinda how I got so deep into him. I blame you for that. I really have so much fun talking to you because it’s like… the lengths of our dirty minds combined, and i live for that. You always make me smile, I just hope I make you smile too. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@heelsamizayn you’re also another person I started to talk to way back when and honestly, I really, really, really love you. You’re a sweet and blunt person who isn’t afraid to say what she thinks. I love talking to you, whether it be about any of our thirsts or whatever we’re writing or random stuff that irritates us both during the day. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@bo0kitten I really love our talks. We like a lot of the same bands, and you always have these well thought out opinions / facts on things. I love seeing you on my dash and I really wish we got to talk more often. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@chasingeverybreakingwave BB you really didn’t think I was going to forget you.. Noooo. Never. I love talking to you and I love your posts / live blogs. You dragged me kicking and screaming into Jimmy Havoc and I love you for it. You’ve also gotten me into music that I hadn’t ever heard before too. Never change, bb! I’m so glad we’re friends.

@calwitch MOM HI! I love you. And I will totally let you adopt me. You’re kinda stuck with me now. I love your posts and you never fail to encourage me when I need it most. You’re a sweet person and totally down to earth and open. Some of your comments on my fic posts have given me that little nudge when I needed it most and I can’t thank you enough for that. You’re an awesome and fun person and I love that you don’t hold back on anything. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@markostuntthesehoes I absolutely adore you and I love your writing. I love our talks, the things we’ve bounced back and forth over DM’s. You’ve gotten me to really appreciate people that I wasn’t sure about before talking to you. Your posts always make me smile and you’re an absolute gem. I’m so glad we’re friends.

#putting this on my writing blog bc some of you lovelies don't follow my personal and I wanna make sure everyone sees this #if I forgot you please don't think that means I don't like you bc I love all of you #I just have the memory of an actual goldfish #2020 thoughts #if you wanna get to know me better my dm's and my asks are open always #just not on anon bc nope fuck anon

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jowritesthingss · 4 years

Text

A (Demi)Boy and His Demon: Two

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairing(s): LoSleep (Logic | Logan + Sleep | Remy)

Rating: Teen

Content Warning(s): lots of swearing, food/drink, death mention (nobody’s dead they just talk about death briefly), suicide mention (again, just alluded to in passing)

Length: 2,858 words

Brief Summary: Sleep-deprived writer Remy accidentally summons a serious-and-seriously-fed-up demon named Logan. Two. In Which Remy Kind of Regrets the Stupid Things He’s Done

Fic Masterlist!

The morning dawned bright and cold, the sun shining its annoyingly cheerful face through the window and directly onto Remy’s face.

“Goddammit” was the first word out of Remy’s mouth as they winced at the bright light. They stretched, scrunching up their nose, stretching out their arms, and arching their back slightly.

Body pleasantly loose and relaxed, Remy rolled over onto his back. Judging from how bright the sun was, they had no doubt slept through their alarm, which most probably meant they were missing class time, but exhausted as they were, they couldn’t seem to find a reason to care in the given moment.

See, Remy with no coffee in his system was a Remy who gave exactly zero shits about anything. Granted, Remy at any given time was a Remy who gave exactly zero shits about anything—it’s just, without their morning coffee, there was no filter to prevent him from releasing this information.

Remy sat up in bed. In glancing across the room at the alarm clock on his dresser, they were made aware of a lump lying under the sheets on the other half of the bed.

“Goddammit,” Remy said again, more vehemently this time.

So the day before hadn’t been a dream, then. Either that, or Remy had gotten absolutely smashed, and his alcohol-ridden brain had concocted the wildest dream about him and a one-night stand. But a cursory glance under the sheets proved them both to be much too clothed for that, and besides, things like that only happened in really bad fanfiction.

Then again, demons actually existing in real life just sounded like a really bad fanfiction trope, too, Remy grumped as they forced themself to swing their legs over the side of their bed. And yet.

Standing, Remy stared down at the body of the person—well, demon—huddled underneath his bedsheets.

“And yet,” they sighed aloud heavily, “here we are.”

“Where are we?”

The covers rolled down to the demon’s—to Logan’s—admittedly attractive slim waist, and xyr eyes flicked open to reveal slightly slitted, surprisingly coherent pupils. “Are we not in your bedroom, in your apartment, in the human realm?”

Remy yelped, jumping slightly. “Wh—you’re awake already?”

“Naturally,” Logan answered, turning away from Remy as xe got out of bed. “As a demon, I do not sleep. My body does not require rest—it merely require the souls of the damned for nourishment.”

Remy gaped. “Then—why did you watch me flounder around trying to find somewhere for you to sleep last night?” His cheeks colored slightly. “And if you don’t sleep, then why the hell’d you think it necessary to, to lie in my bed with me all night? That’s highkey creepy AF.”

Amusement flickered briefly across Logan’s expression before a look of cool indifference once more reappeared. “Again, I am a demon.” Logan stepped over to Remy’s dresser and began investigating the jumble of objects haphazardly shoved onto it. “As such, I do not feel emotions; however, the amusement I find in humans’ dismay is the closest I will get to feeling love.” Xe paused. “What is ‘ay eff’?”

Remy was pretty sure ‘amusement’ technically was an emotion, but he wasn’t about to contradict and potentially anger a demon before they had even had their morning coffee. Nor were they particularly in a mood to explain modern slang to a probably centuries-old demon, so he ignored xyr question and shelved that discussion topic away for another time.

After all, apparently they had an entire lifetime to talk about it now.

But he wasn’t particularly in the mood to think about that, either, so. Moving rapidly on.

“Babe,” Remy said instead, scandalized, as they realized what Logan was—still—wearing. “You’re telling me you slept in that getup?” They looked Logan up and down derisively, taking in the somehow non-rumpled collared shirt and—the hell, was xe still wearing that lameass tie?

Logan raised an eyebrow at Remy before turning to examine xyr surroundings once more. “Why would I not?”

“Don’t tell me demons don’t have pajamas.” Remy walked over to his dresser and lightly pushed Logan aside, opening a drawer and scrabbling around for some dayclothes for him to wear (and for some that might fit Logan, just to make xem look slightly less like a nerd).

“We do not,” Logan confirmed, nodding, “although the concept is not unfamiliar. We simply have no need for sleeping clothes when we do not do any sleeping.”

“Whatever.” Remy rolled their eyes and tossed Logan a wad of clothing. “Just go into the bathroom and put those on already, gurl. I gotta get to class, and I’m assuming you’re coming with since you’re, like, stuck with me or bound or whatever this is.”

“But I am already dressed,” came Logan’s befuddled reply.

“Oh, please. You’re not wearing that on my watch, gurl.” Remy shamelessly unbuttoned and stripped off his pajama shirt, sliding on a soft, casual gray tee. They untied their drawstring pajama pants and began to slide them down their legs.

Logan whirled away, xyr cheeks turning surprisingly red for a demon. Weren’t they supposed to be all over stuff like that?

“Shy, huh?” Remy teased, slipping on jeans and grabbing for their faux-leather jacket from the back of their desk chair. “Whatever happened to the whole sexy demon stereotype thing, hmm? Not that you aren’t sexy in your own dorky nerd way,” he added, enjoying watching the flush gather around the back of Logan’s neck.

“I, ahm,” Logan stammered, hugging Remy’s clothes tightly to xyr chest. “I am afraid that...I am not one of those types of demons.” Xe peeked behind xem at Remy and, seeing them fully dressed once more, turned around, shoulders stiff. “So if that is what you are expecting—”

“Nah, not really.” Remy shrugged, slipping on their shoes, not missing how Logan’s stiff posture relaxed somewhat upon hearing those words. “Although remind me to ask you about, like, demon types and shit like that once I’ve had my coffee,” he said. There was another topic to be noted for later discussion. “I’m not ready to have important convos or existential crises till I’m on my third cup.”

“Duly noted,” Logan honest-to-god (or was it honest-to-satan?) pulled a notebook and a pen out of nowhere and began scrawling something down. “I shall keep this in mind in regard to our future conversations. Additionally, I will endeavor to remember to bring up that particular subject later on.”

“Oh my god,” Remy groaned. They really got stuck with what had to be the only nerd demon in existence, didn’t they. “C’mon, babe. I’m late to class, and I want coffee. Get dressed.” They looked Logan up and down once more. “At least lose the tie, please. I’m a college kid. You’re not one of my professors.”

“What?” Logan said, affronted. Xe grasped xyr midnight blue tie loosely in one hand. “I do not wish to ‘lose’ it. It is a necktie. It is for serious demons. I am a serious demon.”

Remy snickered as they picked up the backpack lying by the bedroom door.. “You’re, like, a total invalid, that’s what you are.”

“I am not!” Logan shrilled behind them, offended. “Serious! Necktie!”

But Remy was already out the door, grinning triumphantly and thoroughly ignoring xem.

Naturally, they had to make a stop at the coffee shop on their way to campus. Remy was already late enough, so it wasn’t like he was going to make it to his first lecture even if they tried. Might as well face the rest of the day with coffee by their side. Caffeine was their only true friend.

Remy had already ordered and paid for his own coffee before it occurred to them that Logan might want some, too.

“Shit, do demons drink coffee?” Remy asked, turning to Logan, who thankfully had lost the necktie after they argued nonstop over it on the walk to the shop. Xe was standing behind Remy, observing as Emile worked the espresso machine. “So, do you? Drink coffee? And d’you want any?”

“Yes, if you do not mind,” Logan answered. “Some coffee would be most welcome.”

“Lit.” Remy turned back to the front counter, ignoring the questioning noise Logan made at his use of slang. “Sorry, Em, but could we get a medium coffee too?” He looked at Logan, appraising. “You look like a dark roast kinda guy.”

“You most certainly may!” Emile smiled cheerfully at the two and popped a lid on Remy’s drink. “It’ll be on the house, Mixter Demon, sir.” He winked over-exaggeratedly in that way that only he could pull off without looking like a total fool. “Do you want any room for cream and sugar?”

“No, thank you. I take my coffee black,” Logan deadpanned. “Like my soul.”

Emile nearly dropped the cup he was trying to hand off to Remy.

“W-wait, really?” Remy asked, wondering if he needed to get worried. Was he going to end up with a black soul or whatever because of this unintentional deal gone wrong? If he was, did he even care?

Logan rolled xyr eyes, and hey! Eyeroll buddies. So the two did have one thing in common after all. “No, of course not. The concept is ridiculous.”

Relaxing slightly, Remy nodded. “Yeah. Kinda is, gurl.” They sipped at their coffee—today he had gone for a mocha, figuring the extra caffeine in the espresso would be very much needed to survive the day with any amount of sanity still remaining.

The two fell silent for a moment, watching quietly as Emile bustled around and poured coffee into a to-go cup for Logan, then:

“Besides, I don’t have a soul,” Logan added.

Remy spit out their iced mocha.

“Okay,” Remy said, voice muffled as he used his teeth to fidget with his reusable straw. They looked both ways before grabbing at Logan’s arm and dragging xem across the street in front of the coffee shop. “So. Tell me about demon-y things.”

Logan paused mid-step, and Remy swore. “Oh my—gurl, wait till we’re done crossing the street. Maybe you can’t die, but I still can.” He hurried the demon across the street. “Walk ’n talk, babe, walk ’n talk. I do technically have someplace to be.”

“Actually.” Out of the corner of their eye, Remy saw Logan push xyr glasses up further on the bridge of xyr nose. Nervous tic, maybe? “About that.”

“About what,” Remy said flatly.

Logan seemed to get smaller, folding in on xemself somewhat as the two of them walked down the sidewalk. Xe fully took xyr glasses off, rubbing firmly at the lenses with the hem of xyr shirt, seeming reluctant to speak. Eventually, though, xe finally opened xyr mouth, and the words that tumbled out baffled Remy and shook him beyond belief.

“You cannot die.”

Remy nearly dropped their coffee.

After a moment of madly scrambling to keep his grip on the slippery, condensated surface of his coffee cup, Remy turned to fully face Logan. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You, erm.” Logan peered through the lenses of xyr glasses, deemed them still dirty, fervently wiped at them with the bottom of xyr shirt again. “Technically you can still die, and you will. Just...you can only perish of natural causes—that is, of old age, or perhaps a particularly nasty illness.”

Remy blinked. Wh...what.

Apparently satisfied with xyr cleaning of xyr glasses, Logan carefully fitted them back onto xyr face. Xe abruptly continued walking, forcing Remy to keep in motion as well to keep Logan from straying off-track on the way to campus.

“Due to the...unfortunate extenuating circumstances of our deal, we did not have the chance to configure the details of it,” Logan elaborated. “As such, our contract with each other has resulted in the...shall we say, the default?” Xe pondered xyr words for a moment. “Yes, ‘default’ suffices, given our context.”

“I—how?” Remy managed to push a word and a half out of his choked throat, his fumbly mouth. Honestly, that was a pretty good number, considering the situation. “What’s the—so what’s the default, then?”

“If you happen to be fatally injured or similarly, our deal mandates that I heal you or, at the very least, provide you with the means of survival,” Logan explained. Xe smiled for the first time—but it was a grim, knowing smile that Remy didn’t find themself liking in the slightest. “Of course, ensuring that you survive does not require anything beyond a bare minimum.”

Logan’s face was weirdly shadowed for someone standing in the middle of the street on a sunny day. “Should I choose to, I could make your life quite miserable.”

Remy swallowed.

“However.” Logan fixed xyr unwavering gaze on Remy. “As you have not given me reason to do as such, we shall hope that it does not come to such measures.”

Unable to do anything other than nod, Remy rapidly shook his head up and down, not unlike a bobblehead. Logan had seemed fairly harmless at first, even for an apparent demon, but now...oh, boy. They were very much not keen to get on xyr bad side.

“The only fatal injuries that I am not required to heal are self-inflicted ones,” Logan said, albeit more quietly than xyr previous words had been. “If it is a human’s wish to take themself out of this world, it is...not my duty to interfere.”

“Oh. Uh.” Remy licked his dry lips nervously. “You won’t have to worry about that here. I don’t think.” Their throat was dry—any lingering wetness from the coffee had disappeared quite quickly when Logan had first begun speaking. But—oh, wait, they were an idiot. There was still more coffee left.

The two of them walked past the front sign of Remy’s university, officially on campus. Remy jerkily lifted his iced coffee to his lips, taking the tiniest of tiny sips. “Is there...any way to, like, break a deal or something?” Remy asked nervously as he guided the two of them towards the art building.

Logan sighed. “If I were an angel, perhaps I would be kind enough to look for a loophole,”—and, what the fuck, angels existed too? which, like, made sense, considering demons were a thing, but still, what the fuck—“however, deals are permanent contracts, and in return for ensuring your survival, our deal promises me your soul upon your death.” Logan sighed again, more heavily this time. “So as...irritating as you may be, and as much of an inconvenience as you no doubt will become, I am not particularly inclined to break a deal that benefits me in such a way.”

“Wh....” Remy didn’t exactly want to know the answer to what he was about to ask; all the same, they felt like they had to ask. “What are you going to do with my soul when I...when you finally get it?”

Logan stared wordlessly at Remy, and Remy did not like the expression on xyr face, no siree, they did not. “Are you sure that you would like to know?” xe asked lowly, and Remy had never been more aware of the fact that his new (unwilling) companion was, in fact, a dangerous, all-powerful demon.

“Nope!” Remy all but shrieked, turning on their gay speed-walking powers and moving ahead of Logan, now all the more anxious to get to class. “No, I do not want to know! I do not want to even think about it! I don’t want to think about any of this, actually, so you know what, we are officially closing this discussion topic for, like, ever! I just want to live my life, holy shit!”

Logan frowned. “How is shit holy?” xe questioned, and this time, Remy really did drop his iced mocha—or, well, the little that was left of it.

“Oh my—actually, no, never mind,” Remy muttered sullenly, picking the cup up from the ground. They extracted their straw from the cup, wiping it off on their jeans before they shoved it into the side pocket on his backpack. “Babe, you are, like, literally hopeless.”

“Naturally,” Logan responded evenly. “I am a demon. We have no need for hopes and other ridiculous goings-on.”

“I—ugh!” Remy threw his used coffee cup into the trash can with more force than was strictly necessary. They all but stomped over to the door of the art building, yanking the door open. “Nope. I am totally not dealing with this right now. I’m going to class for the next ninety or however many minutes, and you”—they jabbed a finger in Logan’s direction—“are being put in time-out. You can sit out in the hallway like a lost puppy or like, like a kid at the principal’s office or...or something!”

Logan blinked owlishly behind his glasses. (Which, why would a demon even need glasses if they have magic? Xe really was trying too hard for a nerd aesthetic, if you asked Remy.) “But I am not—”

“NO!” Remy all but shrieked, practically running into his animation classroom and slamming the door behind him.

Logan stared after them, flummoxed.

Prologue || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six

lol this sat finished and edited on my hard drive for a week before I remembered that oh, yeah, I do kinda have to actually post it to share it with y’all, don’t I.

Want to be added onto my taglist? Shoot me an ask or a message here or via my other social media!

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fromiftowhen · 4 years

Text

OTP PROFILE GAME!

rules: answer the questions about your favorite ship (all time or current) then tag 10 people to do it too!

tagged by @chasethesun18 - thanks babe! this was fun!

SHIP AND FANDOM: There are approximately a million I could choose, but let’s go with the one I’ve written like 40K words for in a month -- The Rookie, Tim Bradford/Lucy Chen (Chenford/Tucy).

MOMENTS:

What were their first impressions of each other?

Haha. I think it’s basically canon now that Tim was reluctantly impressed by Lucy on her first day, but we know that he didn’t really show it. He was probably not expecting much, but I imagine that’s how he was with most Boots at first.

And Lucy definitely thought he was a hot jerk, let’s be real. I think she pretty quickly saw a different side of him with the Isabel storyline, but her initial impression? Kind of a dick.

A moment you think that both/one of them will remember forever about each other:

I think the pretty obvious answer is her abduction and his reaction to it, because that’s just something you never forget. But I’d imagine, before that, it was that night outside Isabel’s apartment, when she came to stop him. It was when they first really saw other sides of each other.

A moment you think that both/one of them wishes hadn’t happened:

Can you even answer this question without saying her abduction? I think that, again, is the pretty obvious answer. I’m trying to think of another that went that wrong that they’d want it to have never happened. Maybe the whole quarantine episode, just for the drama.

What is Their Moment for you?

I mean, what isn’t, really? I can see subtext and moments in any interaction, haha. But the look on both of their faces when he tosses her ring back to her in the gym in Now and Then gives me all the feelings. And he passed up a for sure promotion to keep training her, and then didn’t remotely try to lie about that being the reason. That one is a lot.

LIFE QUESTIONS:

Marriage? If yes, who proposes?

I doubt it would ever be canon (but I’d be happy to eat my words), but I can see that eventually happening. Lucy would be gun shy, and I can see Tim being all, “a piece of paper doesn’t keep people together, we don’t need that to know what we mean to each other,” but secretly kind of wanting it again. He’s loyal AF, we know that. My heart wants to say he’d be the one to propose (not in any elaborate way) but really I think it’d probably be a decision they came to together - no surprises, no big moment, just an adult conversation about something they both know they actually want. Maybe casually, in bed, or driving home from work. And then they’d go pick out a ring together (not a diamond, something vintage with some history) and she’d probably “make” him get down on one knee and “ask again” once it was sized, just to mess with him.

Children? If yes, if one had to stay home with them, who would do it?

I think, probably? I think it would at least be a very long discussion, maybe following a pregnancy scare, and neither had really ever brought up the topic before. I think they both would be good parents - Lucy would be terrified of the baby stage and Tim would be a natural, to maybe only his surprise. And I think they would try to work it out schedule wise that they both got to keep their careers as normal as possible, because that would definitely be important to them both.

Housing? Where do they live together?

Eventually, they would kind of realize that Lucy had sort of already moved in? Most of her stuff was strewn around his house, books and candles and framed pictures of them slowly filling up his space. And she was there more often than not, clothes in his drawers and her favorite tea and coffee in the kitchen. There’d be a discussion, maybe a simple sliding of a key across the counter, and then he’d get to make room in his closet and haul trips of her stuff over from her apartment to make it official. There’d probably also be a discussion at some point about looking for “their own” place - one he hadn’t bought with his ex-wife - but it wouldn’t be anything they rushed. It felt enough like theirs, sprawled out on the couch together every night.

Pets? Do they get a pet together?

They’re already dog parents to Kojo, but I can see Lucy falling in love with a tiny, vicious little dog at an adoption event they happen to run into while walking Kojo, and the dog really only likes her, and Tim kind of hates the idea, but it happens anyway. And then it turns out the dog actually loves Tim, and he begrudgingly falls in love too.

PERSON A & B…

Who would kill/remove the spider and who would leave it under a cup and leave the room?

Lucy would probably make Tim get it, but she’d make him put it outside. And there’d probably be a Daddy Long Legs in the corner of their bathroom for months, just hanging out.

Who sings all day long and who gets so used to it they don’t even hear it anymore?

Lucy, obviously, sings all day long, under her breath or in the shower or along with whatever song is on the radio. Tim always notices, at first, because she has a beautiful voice, and it’s something he’s been basically wired to focus on, after hours of listening to her read him books. Her voice fills most of their silences.

Who can cook a gourmet meal for two and who can maybe use the toaster?

I think Tim can probably secretly cook. He clearly eats well (the show may not show it, but you can’t look like that and eat garbage 100% of the time.) I think Lucy can maybe follow a recipe, but she really only likes making food for groups of friends.

Who wakes up before the sun rises and who would sleep in until 2pm if they didn’t have an alarm?

Tim wakes up early. The man is on a schedule. Run/Kojo walk, shower, coffee that he brings to bed to wake her up. Lucy doesn’t sleep in too late, because she doesn’t like to waste a day off, but they do like to have lazy mornings in bed when the mood strikes.

Who is more affectionate/touchy?

Oh, Tim is absolutely more physically affectionate. Lucy is too, of course, but it’s second nature for Tim to touch her all the time - running his hand through her hair on the couch, holding her hand in the car (this is a huge thing for me for him, I can’t put into words how positive I am that boyfriend/husband Tim is a hand-holder while driving), putting a hand on her waist to brush by her in the bathroom or the kitchen. Lucy is more demanding when she wants affection - cornering him in the hallway, taking the remote out of his hand to climb into his lap on the couch, burrowing against his shoulder relaxing in bed.

Who wears the other’s hoodies/shirts?

Lucy wears the hell out of Tim’s shirts, and while he hates that fact that they’re now “their” shirts, he loves her bare legs running around the house.

Who said “I love you” first?

Ohhhh. This is actually something I haven’t given a lot of thought to? I think probably Tim, likely because he’s been in love and canonically, I don’t really think Lucy has, so he might know first, even if she feels all the things too. They both basically say it before the words ever leave their mouths though - “get home safe,” “call when you’re leaving,” “I brought you coffee,” etc. But, on the flip side, I can also see them both kind of loudly admitting it at each other during a fight, because accidental admissions of love, especially loudly, that end fights (or were basically the reason you were fighting, because idiots don’t know how to admit feelings) are the best.

tagging whoever wants to do this!

#headcanon #chenford #my headcanon #tim bradford #lucy chen #don't be surprised if you see a few of these things worked into fic #(or if you want more of any particular thing #feel free to let me know #because i'm in my feelings about basically all of these topics

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migleefulmoments · 4 years

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The CC fandom is basically just one giant neverending fan tantrum about not getting their own way. Collectively, they have written hundreds of thousands of pathetic words pointing out all the ways Darren isn't fulfilling their predictions and Mia being the cause of that, but too ensconced in their lies to stop and realize the very fact they have to keep churning out these word vomit posts revising reality means they are chronically wrong about EVERYTHING. That's the only 'sham mockery' here.

YES YES YES YES YES!

Darren continues to disappoint Abby and everyone else has no idea who to think so they just word vomit whatever it is Abby is pissed about. Today is a perfect example -Abby is seething in a rage because Darren dared to look HOT AF in a disheveled look but Abs loves Blarren and she COULD. NOT. SEE. Blarren last night...anywhere. She’s consoling herself by pointing out he isn’t happy in any photo (of course she’s wrong, he’s just giving a neutral face).

It’s a shit show over there as they are also being full misogynists. They are blaming Ashley for Darren’s look which Abby hates (hence they all do) and even criticizing Mia because she looks great (“best ever” according to Abby) but since Darren looks frumpy, Mia missed the memo and so it’s her fault. For anyone not aware of how stylists work- they pull together outfits for the celebrity to try on but in the end, it is the celebrity who chooses the final look. If you hate Darren’s outfit, you have to blame Darren.

They are soothing their anger by reassuring themselves that Darren’s “contract” with Balmain is about to end (according to them he first wore Balmain a year ago???) Newsflash- there is no contract- Darren was never announced as a brand ambassador or part of an advertising campaign. He just likes Balmain and Olivier likes him. The Balmain jackets will be around for a long time and I love them so fuck off Abby.

Nothing is funnier to me than reading a fashion takedown by Abby seeing as how she’s sooooo fashion-forward. Darren should fire Ashley and hire Abby.

BTW-notice her use the wrong initials- she’s been doing that lately.

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“She has had 10 years to get to know what D looks good in, there is no excuse for that outfit last night. Even if I put aside that i think it is ugly, outdated, and the t-shirt is lazy, it is all wrong for a guy of average height who has a tiny frame”

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Anonymous asked: I like that we are criticizing D's outfit ,( like it deserves) and someone is even doing it in an harsh way this should show to all those ready to call us mysoginists or antifeminists that they say bs, bc we criticize the outfits EVEN FOR D, when he does it wrong, like this time

Fact, D is an actor. Fact, M is a beard. Fact, both get paid to be on the RC (Neither one is paid to be on the red carpet are fucking kidding me?!?! Who do you imagine is paying them and more importantly, how do you manage they recoup those expenses and make money on a red carept? Red Carpets are for fans to feel connected to the show and therefore to watch the show. Imagine an Oscars night that was only the dry show. Fewer people would be interested hence fewer ad dollars. It’s the spectacle of the event that gets people watching. Mia is photographed mostly for Darren and Mia. The gaggle of photos takes a pic and we end up seeing 2 or 3. They do get picked up by celeb gossip mags occasionally, but most of the time they pic the photos of Darren alone) . Fact, celebrities and others that willingly chose to be on the RC, as part of their job, open themselves up to criticism and that is true of men, women, and those who are gender fluid. Part of the job description. If you don’t want us to talk, well then, there are other jobs out there.(It doesn’t give you the right to be a looney bitch)

D looked awful and I have called them out before (and they haven’t listened to you? I’m dumbfounded), but to me last night was the low point. There may have been worse outfits, but it is ill fighting and he looks un-kept (awww, you couldn’t find Blarren anywhere). And it makes no sense with the projects he is promoting.(He literally is not promoting any projects yet. It’s too early. You don’t understand promotion at all for all the shit you claim to know. When you see him making the talk show rounds that is when he is promoting. Until then he is just living his life. Just becuase you, a super fan knows what is coming up doesn’t mean he is “promoting” anything. He went to the party becuase he goes every year. )

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Once again, they don’t match, sure they both had on black, but no one told her that for this occasion, looking like a hot mess on the RC was the way to match D. Poor Swiller, she just can’t get it right. 99% of the time, she is the hot mess but this time, she kind of got it right and his was so wrong in so many ways.

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Not sure i agree with your logic and it is not that he is not smiling, he looks down right miserable. But I don’t blame him btwn the beard on his arm and that horrific excuse of an outfit, I would guess it was not his best night out.

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The good news nonnie, I hope, D first wore B/ailman at the VF party on Feb 24, 2019. Soon after he was whisked off to Qatar for the fashion show, wore it to the Met, went to Paris for the fashion concert, wore them at iHeart, and now last night. Like a bookend to a year contract. At least i hope, because that was absolutely hideous. It was so ill fitting, it was awful on his body, it was not flattering, the jacket is just ugly. And while I know he did shower, he looks like he threw on clothes after a raging party and the sunglasses are to hide his bloodshot eyes. This is not the look of a man with serious projects to sell.

I am utterly disappointed in AF (what did Ashley Fink do to you?), to the point that I think she should be fired (this is fucking HILARIOUS as Darren is on the best-dressed list most of the time-so are her other clients Chadwick and Finn. Firing her because one frumpy, bitchy fan doesn’t like an outfit seems a tad shortsighted). This is utterly inexcusable at a crucial time in his career at an incredibly important event (It was a party- it’s a fun event that everyone goes to but it’s literally a party where people drink and have fun) I understand he maybe has to wear the designer (he doesn’t) but she needs to work with the designer to create a flattering look for her client whose star is rising and who has important, big projects to promote (Big HUGE A-list celebs were fashion fails all of the time. It doesn’t ruin their careers, calm the fuck down) He is not a rock star that hangs out with groupies all night before snorting coke to go to the next event (He is Darren and part of Darren is the rockstar look. Stop trying to make him someone he isn’t). He is on the verge of the A list (no he isn’t) with a classic, serious dramatic play in 6 weeks (Nobody cares except the 2000 people who will see the show) with 2 well renowned, A list, award winning, serous stars (She’s an idiot) and a series where he is selling classic HW, defined by gorgeous, well groomed, stunning male stars (Oh, honey, your wank bank is full over this isn’t? I get why you are so sure Raymond is gay. You need them all to be gorgeous, well-groomed queer men). And is how they choose to represent him? As a man that could not be bothered to shave who looks like a wanna be rock star (Since he wore that look to his wedding I have to believe that both Darren and Mia love that look on him)? Nope.(YEP)

#CC #ccer #crisscolfer #Darren criss #cc wank #debunking cc nonsense #Vanity Fair Oscar party

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

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hmm here’s me talking about su sort of lmao like i said i’m not here to be particularly scentamentle?? just say funney stories....and some opinions.....it’s really been a hot minute and i haven’t been making Long text posts about things so i can throw one out there even if it’s got no thesis statement

also like i said i just so happened to like, actually watch the first ep on actual tv when it actually premiered....all i super remember knowing about it beforehand was like “oh rebecca sugar getting her own series right on” and i was gonna check it out on that alone and then also i remember before it debuted there was an article about it in the wapo in the sort of “local”-ish section b/c it was like. hey this is based in uh yknow the dmv....delmarva area.....this whole Region.....and i (from nova and in nova at that time, and flipping thru the print wapo every day) was like haha. neat. also god damn it was 2013, hell of a year. i can tell you little about it b/c it was so crappy i just like did not bother much with things like “distinct memories” lmfao. great to have like, a weekly thing towards the end of that hot mess (november??? or smthing??) back when....god........it aired weekly.........anyways yeah i was pleasantly surprised from the start i don’t Get when people are like “can’t watch this in order :/ the first few eps don’t sell it well” like okay speak for yourself god dman....more on that later i’m sure lmfao. hot takes

my brother started watching it too just cuz he’s game for shit that way and i was keeping up with it. like i remember i thought cheeseburger backpack was extra fun and i think i showed him a rerun and i remember he thought it was funny lol the Raft Gag......and when i was watching tiger millionaire i kept For Real Laughing and he came over like what is going on.....and i think he was signed on from there........again pretty fun for it to be this weekly thing. also maybe i’m not here to be Sentamental but i was also like “oh no that Spoke to my feelings unexpected :(” during tiger millionaire when amethyst was all “you can’t let anyone make you feel like garbage” and “i only feel how i wanna feel” like guess who was in the early stages of “my self esteem is so crappy it’s starting to circle around into [trying to increase self esteem]”.........like i said hell of a time. though then that’d be 2014 by then i think?? still a hell of a time

started to get “i think i will draw the same character one million times” about it at some point in 2014 too lmfao......every instance of [me drawing the same shit one million times], which is the only way i ever draw anything, then like, benefits whatever i draw later cuz like. sure get some practice out of it. and even though like, it wasn’t quite as huge an Internet Thing as it was gonna get once i started to draw shit, it was already like, classic-me Kinda Niche to be like “hey gang who is going ham about the bored dumbass teens”....not so niche that there weren’t other people going “yeah i am” at any given time tho. and then we put our hands in the middle and go Yeah!! and jump up hsm style. it was also a great time for something Fun and (easier than marble hornets lol) to draw b/c. it simply was a good time for it.....struggling to draw shit back then even more than is like, usual. oh and also i forget but i had sort of Withdrawn from the mh fanbase b/c it got this whole influx of randos after fjsfdking the Video Game we all know the one and i was like. i am gonna.....sidle over here. nobody Likes to be in a fandom actually lmfao. and i mean even while su was getting to be A Whole Thing i was like. bro i am over here in the Donuts section and it is a little quieter and i use the tag sometimes but i’m all set, thanks. still the least Niche niche i’ve been in probably lmfao....see: the fact that probably still way most of my followers are here from su times even tho idk who’s even active still

also had a high time making some great Long Text Posts. i kind of always fail 2 grasp that even as much as my drawings that stuff leads to me actually getting to interact with people, b/c like, those text posts have me actually saying Words in them, which helps lmfao..........i think it’s like, these posts are probably Not That Fun for most people, but then for the people who Are like “oh sweet this is something that i actually want,” that’s obviously a helpful way to find a kindred spirit lmao.....like hey cool you already know i can’t shut up and am opinionated and obviously a lil much? fantastic let’s do this. plus idk it’s fun to Not Shut Up Actually. like, not the biggest deal. ppl can just Scroll Past. or not

speaking of “getting practice Not Shutting Up and Drawing Shit”.......hilarious when in late 2018 i find myself like. oh so you’re telling me this excellent character who is a self-sabotaging struggling-to-know-how-to-cope-with-shit-and-connect-with-others insecure af Teen is not appreciated / ignored / deemed Awful (and then ignored) by the majority of the fanbase?????? hahaha you don’t say....but No Problem. let me just talk about how this person has Complexity actually and is a lot more sympathetic than not and i hate all of you omg like do we have to do all of this ourselves lmfao........guess so, Fine

what am i talking about funny stories who is this funny to lmfao. okay no but okayyy what an experience when the island adventure preview came out and for like the next 4 days i did not experience depression lmao........i Jumped on the opportunity b/c it was like, early fall i wanna say??? i think sept?? 2014 and i was kinda mulling over going to gmx (which was this convention the Marble Hornets gang kept getting invited to & i’d been 2 twice b4 but missed the previous yr coz it was 2013 and i was way not thriving) and yeah jumped on the “depression / (as much) anxiety who???” superpower to Ask if it was cool if i went to a friend’s wedding in georgia for a weekend. there was no friend’s wedding in georgia. and then i went to gmx AND. ironically (not really im sure. idk what irony means and idc) gmx weekend ended up being the same weekend island adventure actually aired and when i left that morning (gmx being in nashville) my lil bro (getting up for school) was like GO GO and i actually made it in time to catch it in the hotel room but. they didn’t have the channel despite it being listed on the channel guide. i about flipped lmfao but i did see it later that weekend and flipped again. gmx was an a-okay time as well lmao that was the last time i made it

they may have never sold a licensed Lars S1 Green/Purple Snake Tee but look when i have this green racerback with a neat snake print & this necklace of purple quartz crystals and also when i was at gmx i bought this necklace with one (non purple, non actual crystals but plastic shaped like it / glossed) pendant In The Spirit Of It All and it gets compliments. anyways the point is. indirectly representing

speaking of crystals = lars i’d just like to reiterate that i’m always right. like sure i was like “look i don’t know how lars could have Crystal Magic in him but something is up with the fact he’s = pink magic flowers with crystals inside them Means Something.” i think it’s reasonable to Not have predicted he dies and gets revived w/ crystal magic that’s in him now. but that’s still a Win for realizing somethings up....tfw as early as like s2 times i’d be like “well the donuts gotta get involved in the center of adventure at Some point and also i Know it is important that steven is just lars’s rly annoying little brother and y/n do you think lars would die to protect him i think he would...” like. i didn’t wanna be That right :/

tfw me and my brother were watching rose’s scabbard while my mom was napping it out in the armchair and like silently Sharing A Look at the whole “she was beautiful” thing like. lol harold

i still don’t know how much of a Thing(tm) magfest is but as far as i can figure it it’s No Comic Con (like, thank god :| ) but still kind of a thing. anyways i learned of it cuz i saw there was gonna be a couple su panel thingies & i looked it up & we were less than an hour away and so it was like midnight but i ask my brother like hey wanna swing by this thing on this one friday. and he was like Sure. so i made it happen and he was 17 so we had to drag our dad to the bank to Notarize a form that he was allowed to be there accompanied by me. it was a big place and it also took us a while to find Registration or whatever and when we tried getting sandwiches later it cost like $7 each go figure. anyways but we were just there for the one Event & there was a room like filled with arcade games and a bunch of other consoles (also Retro though. like old computers n stuff) and they had Galaga, thank fucking god. we 2 playered that shit and wandered around and also 2 playered a game called toobin, which was funny. real gamers know.

when we were in the (pretty long) Line to get into the Panel, i actually like. spotted a then-mutual who i (was pretty sure i) recognized from her occasional selfie lol and who i guess had travelled all the way from the west coast for the weekend. when we were actually Seated she happened to be a couple rows back and both of us on the end of the aisle and i asked my brother if he could read her nametag (to verify lol) and i bopped over to have the cringe and fail exchange of “hey do you have a Tumblr” and then i was like “haha i’m milo i’m ummmwine” and she got up to hug me and then i had to scamper back to my seat cuz shit was starting lol

like my life was not changed by this event but we had fun and. the Hilarious story is that it was also partially a Q&A and i had a Q and my brother encouraged me by again whispering “go go” as soon as the first syllable was spoken implying Line up For Questions.....i was in like, the last idk, haaalf dozen or so ppl who made it to the mic? and look i knew i was gonna be asking a niche question that like 3 other people of the hundreds in the room would care about but So What. deal with it gang, let’s have some Variety. but i was still nervous. and when i’m nervous, i a) Have A Script and b) get even chattier. and right after the person Right In Front Of Me got their answer, i guess it was noticed that it was getting down to the wire so they were like “haha okay lightning round :)” and i was like NO.......GOD..........lmfao like too late im sorry i Can’t make it lightning round. i was muy anxious.....just that, again, hundreds of people there, i have the floor, nobody’s gonna Like my quastion......and they didn’t know the answer (which i figured was v possible lol) so i was like oh no sklfjd hope this entire room doesn’t hate me. i mean of course i didn’t care if they did too much but, Nerves....also im valid, but were the like half dozen people who asked prior to me about shit that would CLEARLY be too spoilery to answer valid????? no lmfao. cmon. that’s what’s Really cringe

well here we ffw a bit b/c Mid To Late 2015 is certainly a time for me and it doesn’t really make for an interesting story so just to tldr it lmao like, got some beautiful moral support from someone as i was makin a Lifestyle Change lol and continued to get beautiful moral support from that same person and i continue to benefit from it....You know who you are!!!! tyvvm....and it occurred to me that the reason i am where i physically am is via someone i met thru su-posting.......which is true of the You Know who you are person too, which is why i brought it up lmao

uhh god not as many Stories after that lol.....def got to engage in “i’m ___ i’m gonna [draw the same character i always draw] so i won’t be so ___” during interesting times lol. love that for me

tbh the uh. Wanted arc was truly one of the best Serial Arcs, just dramatic & solid af and also it’s lars time and for a second i go “god well at least maybe now ppl will acknowledge lars is a gr8 character” and then a second later i go “Oh No they’ll only say he’s a good character *Now*” and that’s exactly what happened lmfao but well we still got as much lars fanart as we ever got outside that couple weeks aftermath... l o l . . . i had to wait One Zillion Years for my little brother to catch up to this b/c. he was watching via hulu i think where like, a full season would come out a good while after the finale. seriously i think it took him almost 2 years. im like dammit lmfao this is What Matters dfslk....fond memories when hulu was free / no login req’d / shit would be available like the day after airing

uhhhHHH crazy how this show muscled through the weird scheduling change where it was like “no weekly eps Only Erratic Hiatuses”......ppl were so foolishly Into the first “5 eps in a row” release and i was like “no i don’t like this” and then a year later i was like “you see. You See.” rip

i think we can even ffw to sutm at that point lol....im like im in this for lars okay lmfao kinda Shrugggg @ things by this point lol like finale shminale. where’s he at. and i really wasn’t paying a world of attention to like, prior-to-release lore n announcements so i was just plunged into this chaos of like sorry???? excuse me?? of all the people in the world sarah stiles?????? lfsdj like noooo don’t show me these tweets lmfao......truly it’s fine i’m being Hilarious but it’s also very real that like, when i see things like “showtime(tm)” or “SHO” or “billions content” i’m just doused with Dread b/c i hate this series lmao i swear to christ. but it’s really Fine lmfao like. i was kinda “eh :/” to “yea this is alright” about the rest of it but spinel was The Highlight lmfao and having $50 to go ham on her animation was great but really the voice acting Made It.....like the entire takeaways was uh the other friends sequence and fuckin uhh this part. fuck it up ms. stiles........hit it out of the park..........cain was the first funny bitch and spinel was the second. that thought just came to me and i will not elaborate. call that a revelation. oh and also it was a relief cuz i was like “i s2g if this Antagonist is like, aquamarine-style annoying af....i will die” but No. spinel is annoying af in another way which is her rights and i don’t want to die about it lmfao. she’s good.......i don’t even resent the “how come whenever some rando shows up ready to literally kill everyone for no good reason, all of you are ready to be like ‘wow an icon’ and we can’t have 10% of that energy for the teen who’s kinda bitchy b/c he’s annoyed by life and crap???” thing b/c i mean, she had her whole Arc all at once and also is good enough for it i think. the nadir was when the one rando shows up for like One episode like “i Don’t want to kill everyone :3 syke >:)” and for some reason people were like “omg iconic. call them on their ‘don’t kill everyone’ bullshit” like lol i hate you guys

well i like lars’s [last outfit we see him in] and i feel like it only backs up the bi agenda. another epic gamer moment had been when it became a Popular Hc that lars is trans b/c he is lmao. and everyone was all “why is everyone sayign this why would you want him to be trans he sucks” like get good grandma!!!!!!!! it’s too late. well that’s the end of my post. me in 2014 being like “wow way to have something to keep up with b/c now i have to outlive it to get all the dnads content i guess” and here i am. but it’s almost April 2020 so. haha

hmm what’s a less ominous ending. oh shit another thing that was funny is i was like So about these Skull Plugs featured in this semi-official drawing of lars once and then horror club came out (fun b/c i like horror) and had the skull plugs for Real & they were glow in the dark. that was a big day for me even seeing the promos lmfao. except then i guess it was foreshadowing, so again i end this with Death. don’t we all

wait no lsfdjs What tf was matthew moy talking about “i like your hair.” dude dropping an i-guess cut line on us lmfao. alright alright im done

#not as long as i thought it'd be!!! i don't have many engaging stories to say lol and like i said. not here to get. sedimental #that unfortunate Lightning Round incident lmfao......rip my ass. it was fine i was just like. [screams inside]#god.......what a uhh six and a half years six and a half years are. s/o to. Lars #oh i never ''more on this later'''d that one point. what a tragedy right lmao. i was just like. ppl Can simply watch the eps in order tho...#a concept i was not into lmfao. ess em aitch. i was never here for Lore okay

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