#on it's own it's a very funny comedy horror. definitely check it out!!
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What show is Frank from? Bc i just love his design and have been searching through the internet and cant really find him anywhere except here :)
Let's keep it that way 🫶 gatekeeping him.
#aaaah jk#he's from a webtoon called 'Spook y M onth'#on it's own it's a very funny comedy horror. definitely check it out!!#and pls come back and tell me your thoughts on it?? pleease 💗💗#i mean. if u do check it out ofc heh#OH it's on youtube but on newgrounds they have the true endings!!!!
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Recommend me a horror movie, but make it as old as possible or as a horror-comedy (I'll take anything)
Ohhh horror movies my beloved <3 *watches half of them behind fingers*
About older ones, I wouldn't go before 70's or even 80's. Psycho (1964) yes, but it's more of a classic than "best horror ever". So:
The Exorcist (1973) - girls gets possessed by a demon and priests are trying to exorcise her. It has some chilly scenes, they still ring in my mind (like backwards spider climb down stairs :<); simple movie yet very very effective and scary. I read somewhere that when it came out in cinema almost 50 years ago some people were running out of cinema crying and screaming mid movie. So yep, defo worth checking imo.
Halloween (1978), A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) and Friday the 13th (1980) - these are all classic slasher movies; it's when you have a serial killer/slasher chasing down people for whatever reason. There are countless spin-offs and remakes of all 3 series but those are original movies. It's more adrenaline pumping and intriguing than scary imo, but are definitely worth the watch. At least one of them.
The Blair Witch Project (1999) - i think this is first found footage horror movie. Basically group of friends goes to woods to search for evidence of Witch from Blair; all while filming their experience. I suggest you see a trailer before deciding bc found footage horror is either hit or miss to people; subjective taste really. Whole movie has creepy and uncanny atmosphere, which is only amplified by ambiguity because there's no clear cut explanation to some things in a movie; watchers are left in the dark as to what really is happening. Also ending is top notch, one of most iconic endings in horror movies imo.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) - now, this is another slasher but it's way way more bizarre and macabre than slasher i've mentioned before. Basically a deranged cannibal family which lures in hitchhikers. Very sinister and unique despite sounding like cliche. It's the little details and atmosphere of total sense of wrongness and deranged-ness in the movie that makes it special. Also, ending scene sequence is A+.
The Ring (2002) (American version) and Ringu (1998) (Japanese) - okay, it's not that old but you've probably heard of this movie. You watch the tape, get a phone call telling you you'll die in 7 days. Now, to me not only is this movie scary af, but also depressing since your life is put on countdown and you're reflecting on all things you wish you could have done different and that you've missed. Basically reminds us of fleeting nature of human's life and how easily it can snap. Also, American/European/Australian horrors are one thing (Australian ones are rly good! Babadook and Lake Mungo are defo worth the check), Asian horror is whole different thing altogether - I watched a Thai horror movie when i was 14 and it still sends chills down my spine when i remember it; probably scariest shit i've seen al my life (Shutter 2004 -Thai version); watch at your own risk rly, and i don't say that lightly :<
As for comedy horror, rec either "Scary movies" since it's a parody of horror genre or movies that suck so damn much that they're funny af. In latter case i rec sharknado (tornado + sharks - yea ik), or piranha 3D - my fave scene is when girl went skinny dipping, baby piranhas got stuck in her, ya know. Then she had sex with some guy and in the middle of it piranha bit his dick off.... yes, that's an actual scene.
#I should add more classics but i feel this is enough for now? also i haven't watched all the classics such as IT or Carrier#thanks for ask!#horror movies#horror
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#HARPERSMOVIECOLLECTION
2023
www.tumblr.com/theharpermovieblog
I watched Shock Treatment (1981)
Nell Campbell as a Nurse in this movie is nearly as hot as Nell Campbell as Colombia in Rocky Horror....just sayin'.
Brad and Janet are put on television to cure Brad of being an emotional cripple, but secretly, the plan is to break the couple up by making Janet a star.
Director Jim Sharman directed The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Shock Treatment is a follow up to Rocky Horror. Supposedly not a direct sequel, the film does feature the characters Brad and Janet (played by new actors) and the film still features several actors from Rocky Horror.
This film is also written by Jim Sharman and Richard O'brien who penned Rocky Horror together.
Now the question we're all asking, "Is this film as good as Rocky Horror?" The answer is, "No. Sorry, but no."
This film, which operates very much in the same world as Rocky Horror, is a weird and often nightmarish reflection of our own world. An obvious commentary on American culture, commercialism and corporate greed. It's a comedy of sorts, which is funny-ish in a very offbeat way. It's kooky and queer and there are some things about it that I really like.
Shock Treatment is definitely worth a watch. It's interesting enough and strange enough. Sherman's Direction along with his and O'brien's writing is still extremely attention grabbing. But, the energy of Rocky Horror just isn't here. It's a much sleepier movie that doesn't feel nearly as fun. Also, the songs are hit or miss. A few are catchy and could be classic, but others fall pretty flat.
Shock Treatment isn't horrible. The cast is very good and it certainly has its moments. You should check it out if you haven't seen it, because as far as being an oddity, it's a gem.
Overall though, it's just not nearly as good as The Rocky Horror Picture Show and, for better or worse, that's what it's up against.
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Weird Movies You Might Actually Enjoy
I am in my 40s now and have been watching and recommending movies for a quarter of a century. I have seen thousands of films and television shows over that time and one thing that I have often been asked is "what is the weirdest movie you have ever seen?" What is weird to one person might not be so odd to another, but I admit there have been a lot of films that I have watched that I liked due to it being so strange. The weirdness is the appeal. With the current film under review being 2001: A Space Odyssey (which has a very odd beginning and ending), I thought I would share some movies that I have seen that are both weird and very enjoyable to the point I would recommend them to others who might not be into weird films. SPOILER ALERT is in effect, so, in no particular order....
(Note: I am going to try and avoid art house and horror films because they are unsettling in a more graphic way and the weirdness is not really meant to be enjoyable but to terrify or assault your senses. If that is what you want, then check out the works of Alejandro Jodorowsky or Dario Argento)
Being John Malkovich (1999)
Directed by Spike Jonze and written by Charlie Kaufman, this was bound to be a weird one. It is the story of a former puppeteer who takes an office job filing with his amazing dexterity. The position is on a half-sized floor in a giant building where everything is scaled down. If that wasn't strange enough, he finds that there is a door in his new office that leads into the mind of Jon Malkovich. One can take over the actor's brain for a short period of time before they are unceremoniously kicked out and land on a highway outside of New Jersey. At some point during the film, Jon Malkovich finds out and takes a turn going into his own conscious. The film is kind of amazing, utilizing the acting talents of John Cusack, Katherine Keener, Cameron Diaz, and (of course) John Malkovich. The film earned three Oscar nominations including Best Screenplay and Best Director. The movie carries a 94% Rotten Tomato score and a 90 Metacritic score, showing that the film is really a crowd pleaser. The perfect film to dip your toe into the world of weird media.
Brazil (1985)
A British dystopian black comedy, this film was created and directed by one of the minds behind Monty Python. The story is of a bureaucrat who looks into an incident in which a citizen is taken away and executed because of an administrative error. This government representative is promoted for covering up the mistake but is hounded by a freedom fighter who lived near the man who was killed. He goes through an existential crisis about doing the right thing and accepting his placement and accidently becomes part of the freedom movement. Or does he? There is a lot of ambiguity throughout the film about what comes of the main character, but it doesn't really matter because the visuals and the soundtrack are amazing. Lots of weird dream sequences make the film hard to comprehend at times, but really very enjoyable in my opinion.
The City of Lost Children (1995)
This was my first experience with work by director Jean-Pierre Jeunet and it definitely was not my last. This is a French language film so I thought the subtitles would bother me, but the story is so engaging that you soon forget that you are reading. The acclaimed director went on to make the beloved film Amelie in 2001, and is, in my humble opinion, one of the best world building directors of all time. This is the story of a strong man in a circus and a little orphan girl who traverse a world where a mad scientist is stealing children to help him find a way to get to sleep without nightmares. Most of the characters are along the lines of circus side-show performers (little people, quadruplets, conjoined twins, strong men) and make a fascinating story. The movie includes Ron Perlman speaking the French language which makes some things kind of funny in an unintentional manner. There are also some cross language jokes that are surprising and make you feel smart for getting it. I will admit that I have shared this with a couple of people who absolutely hated it due to the subtitles and theme of stealing and harming children, but I still think it is fantastic and worth a watch.
Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind (2004)
Combine the writing style of Charlie Kaufman and the acting of Jim Carrey in his prime and you have a very strange movie. This film tells the story of a man who wants to forget his ex-girlfriend, so a team of scientists go into his mind while he is sleeping and erase any memories that involve his ex. This is problematic because the patient decides he doesn't want to forget her mid operation and tries to fight the process in his mind. The patient jumps around in his own memories with his visualization of his ex, trying hard not lose his memory. Charlie Kaufman does a lot of writing about people being trapped in their own brain and this mental state is apparent in his screen plays. This film won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay and absolutely deserved it. Following a character through their lifetime of memories is fascinating and the film is very cinematic and extremely well-acted. High recommendation on this one.
Dune (1984)
Yes, David Lynch directed a version of Dune back in the 80s and it was crazy. I have never experienced a film that had so much ADR narration because the movie was too complicated and needed to be explained. I don't think there is any way that a viewer would understand this film without some kind of knowledge of the source material. The costumes are crazy, the characters are out of a nightmare, Sting plays a villain, Patrick Stewart is a warrior, and people control weapons with their voice. Pretty weird. Even more strange is David Lynch's description of a sci-fi world. The new version that came out is pretty strange and is cut into at least two parts. This is a rather strange director trying to pack the entire story in a little over two hours. The visuals are amazing, especially if you are familiar with the Frank Herbert novel, and the music is fantastic, so there is plenty to experience. Just don't expect to really understand everything.
Swiss Army Man (2016)
This is a fine film starring Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe about a man who is stranded on a deserted island and finds a dead body that washes to shore. The body can speak slightly when air is pumped into it, unfortunately it then passes that air out through flatulence. The stranded man uses the properties of the dead body (stiffness, bloating, posability) to live in the wild and eventually the two become friends. There is some question as to whether the stranded man is fantasizing the whole thing, if the body is a zombie, or if this is just a strange situation where the body wasn't fully dead and is useful for getting off the island. The film is pretty funny if you just buy into the full premise but will not be fun if you try and point out plot inconsistencies. A strong suspension of disbelief is needed to really enjoy this fun film.
Lars and the Real Girl (2007)
There is something very Canadian about this film which stars Ryan Gosling and a full-sized sex doll. This is a modern adaptation of Pygmalion in which a socially incapable man is traumatized and only begins to address his issues with a fake woman. Lars lives in a very small, isolated town in Wisconsin and the town population realizes that the doll (named Bianca) might be helpful, so everybody just plays along. This film has some of the most awkward scenes of any movie I know, especially when Lars is first introducing the doll to people. The doll starts out as a house guest but eventually travels with him on errands and even accompanies him to church. There are some really funny parts, and I don't want to spoil things, but Ryan Gosling really shows off his acting talents. Really highly recommendation.
Enemy (2013)
Another interesting Candian film, this time directed by Denis Villeneuve and starring Jake Gyllenhaal, about doppelgangers who run into each other. One of the physical twins is a married actor and the other is a history professor. The professor becomes obsessed with the actor and starts to stalk him. The two finally meet and trade places in which things go pretty poorly. The weirdest thing about this is the constant reference to tarantulas and the very ending sees one of the two walk into a room expecting his significant other and instead finds a room sized spider. He sighs in resignation and the movie ends. This actually became a little bit of a meme because it doesn't really make much sense. This is another well-acted film that is set in a world that is just slightly different from reality, making it creepy. I really like it.
The Lobster (2015)
I don't even know where to begin with this one. This is a British film that was nominated for Best Screenplay at the Oscars and at the BAFTAs. The acting is purposefully kind of bland, but the story premise and setting is just absurd. The film takes place in a dystopian world in which everyone has to have a partner once they turn 18 or they are sent out to farms in which they are given 45 days to find a partner, or they are turned into animals. The lead is played by Colin Farrell, and he is sent to one of these farms when his wife leaves him. He understands the severity because his brother was turned into a dog and follows him around. He tries to bond with different women but finally runs away into the forest in desperation and meets a group that live unpartnered out in the woods. He does not like either condition and ends up stuck between two worlds, all the while trying not to be caught and turned into a lobster. It is exceptionally weird and fascinating. I did not really like it the first time through because it was too much, but I have grown to really enjoy this film.
There are a lot of other weird films that are exceptionally gory or artistic to the point that they are incomprehensible, but the films listed about really struck me and I would be glad to watch any of them again. Give one of them a try if you are looking for something weird.
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Movie Review: Cinderella (Spoilers)
Disclaimer: I am posting this review the day after the movie airs on Amazon Prime, so if you haven't yet seen it don't read on until you do.
General Reaction:
It is slightly weird to think of another movie studio taking on one of the classic fairy-tales that isn't Disney, because, as I am sure is the case for a large portion of the mainstream audience, Disney have almost claimed fairytale adaptations as their own.
However, as identified, Cinderella, is a fairy tale and one created long before Disney came about. As such, other studios are allowed to put across their own interpretation of these classic stories that we have seen a lot of times adapted at this point.
That being said, we have seen many different adaptations of Cinderella at this point from the classis Disney Animation version and it's live-action counterpart, to modern-day reworkings like A Cinderella Story of the mid-noughties starring Hilary Duff.
It's quite an easy story to tell and adapt to a variety of different settings, and what this 2021 retelling does with the story blends the old-fashioned with the modern. Does that mean it is set apart from the others? Well in my opinion yes and no.
While this is a Sony movie, it plays a lot like a Disney Channel Original Movie. From the comedy to the settings to the costuming and the music, it plays like the best of those types of movies. I'm talking the High School Musical franchise and the Descendants franchise. It is by no means bad or corny, but it isn't even on the level of the 2016 live-action Cinderella.
While that version was pretty much a straightforward live-action version of the original animated version, the style of the movie outweighed the substance.
Here however, there is a great blend of both style and substance. The story takes the classic elements of the original Cinderella fairy tale but tries to inject a modern and feministic twist that the recent live-action Beauty and the Beast tried to do.
In terms of whether this version of Cinderella stands out in the crowd of Cinderella movies, I would say it does. Not only is the titular character race-bent and the setting she is in seemingly plays into that, but the reworking of the Fairy Godmother as the Fab G as well as giving the Stepmother a more humanised backstory allows for a more compelling take on a classic.
Cast:
Because this is just the one all-in review I'm not going to do an in-depth character analysis and instead group the characters as who were my favourites, who did a passable job, who was bad and who were for some reason just there.
Favourites:
I have a top 3/4 favourite characters in this movie. Idina Menzel's Stepmother Vivian, Billy Porter's Fab G, Minnie Driver's Queen Beatrice and additionally Beverly Knight's Queen Tatiana.
Idina Menzel was always going to be fantastic in this movie, but to see her portray what is traditionally the villain character in the movie as a sympathetic character as part of the movie's feminist agenda was an interesting twist. No cat for a start, I don't know if Lucifer was a part of the original fairy tale but of course in the Disney adaptations Lady Tremaine is always accompanied by her faithful feline, but also the fact that her backstory parallels Ella's current story and the fact Vivian was so willing to have Ella reject her passion to do what is expected of her just as was forced on her was actually great motivation.
In truth I have only ever seen Billy Porter in one other thing aside from this movie and that was American Horror Story: Apocalypse. I have never seen Pose though I have heard good things, but from what I understand, Billy Porter only really has one speed. However, as the character's name states, that speed is fabulous. I loved Fab G in this movie, the fairy godmother is usually one of my favourite characters in the movie and every interpretation I have seen has brought something different and memorable. If this version of Cinderella is remembered for anything it will be for this very modernised take on the Fairy Godmother, not only gender-bending and race-bending a traditionally white female character, but with Porter choosing to make the character non-binary and that outfit speaks for itself, Fab G was simply a fabulous character.
In both Disney adaptations, I have never heard mention or reference to Prince Charming having a living mother...or a dead one for that matter. So to not only have the Queen being in a chunk of this movie, but also having her own story branch tying into the feminist agenda running through the movie and being portrayed by Minnie Driver, I was in love with this character.
Pretty much similar to the Fab G, if you've seen Beverly Knight's one second in the trailers you've pretty much seen her in the movie. She contributes to Ella's story in the movie and only appears in the latter half of the movie in 2 maybe 3 scenes but she makes an impact because she's Beverly Knight. My only gripe with her is she does not sing in the movie, you have Beverly Knight with not even a solo in a group number?
Passable:
Unfortunately the star of the movie Camilla Cabello is just passable in this movie as Cinderella. She does have some humour about her and her singing is great despite maybe being autotuned because I know how she can sing, but she doesn't feel like Cinderella to me, it actually feels more like a version of what Emma Watson was doing with Belle in the live-action Beauty and the Beast rather than Cinderella but at least she tried.
As for Nicholas Galitzine, he's definitely more engaging as a modern-day Prince Charming, Robert is definitely more engaging a character than Ella unfortunately, which to be fair is still good as the 2015 Cinderella is the only other adaptation to really make the Prince interesting, but I can't quite put my finger on exactly which movie it is but there is another movie I have seen where the Prince Regent doesn't want to be king but the Princess does and has to fight for her right to be it...that's pretty much this story for them.
Also Pierce Brosnan as the King, despite jokingly singing towards the end, did a great job at being the archetype of old-fashioned values with his on-screen wife Minnie Driver's queen pushing him into a modern-day thinking.
Bad:
As for who's bad, I have to say it pains but the British comic relief characters really let the side down in this movie.
In the three mice defence, Romesh Ranganathan and James Acaster are somewhat funny but unnecessary. James Corden however is abismal in this movie. I get he produces it, but particularly after Cats I do not understand 1) Why he'd want to portray another CG animal or 2) Ever think that one shot of him changing back from human to mouse with his head on a mouse body was funny...it was terrifying.
Also this movie is supposedly a family-audience movie...so why include a crass joke of Corden's character talking about peeing out of his front tail?
Additionally to the three mice, Rob Beckett has a surprising role in this movie as a potential suitor for Vivian's daughters, but he simply portrays such a creepy, cringe-worthy character it's almost uncomfortable to watch.
New Additions:
So as well as the two queens and the British comic relief there is also the addition of Princess Gwen to the movie who is the sister of the Prince and the one who wants to be ruler. It's kind of the same story as Jasmine's in the live-action Aladdin as wanting to be Sultan but being a woman isn't taken seriously, however here it is treated more comedically as every time there is a serious moment with the King trying to force Robert to grow up and be King, she always tries to interject with "Would this be a bad time to tell you about an actual real reason why I would be a good ruler" and they make sense but she's always dismissed until the very end.
Then there's a town crier, who is also inserted as a musical number while he's reading his proclamations but as a rap. Honestly I don't know Doc Brown as an artist but I did happen to enjoy what he contributed.
Music:
Which brings us on nicely to the music of the movie as this is a musical and I usually break down the songs. Again this time I will be doing groupings of best to worse.
Honestly my favourite number is probably "Shining Star" mostly performed by Billy Porter with verses by Camilla Cabello and, unfortunately, James Corden.
I also enjoyed the two original songs of the movie, "Million to One" which is Cabello's "I Want" song of the movie and used a lot through the movie, and then also "Dream Girl" which is Idina's main other song but also sung by basically the women of the movie, it's Idina Menzel if you don't give her an original song it's an insult.
Idina's other song is a cover of "Material Girl" and honestly it is a lot of fun, Nicholas Galitzine's rendition of "Somebody to Love" was also fun and surprising as I did not think this guy could sing that well.
The group numbers were fun and well choreographed but they are also somewhat forgettable. The song at the ball of "Whatta Man/Seven Nation Army" was probably the most memorable but still just mediocre.
Recommendation:
So with all that said, would I recommend watching Sony's Cinderella? Honestly I would say it is worth at least one viewing, and I do recommend watching all the way through just to get the full experience. I do think it will do better as a streaming movie than it would have done as a theatrical release, but I cannot pinpoint a market for this movie.
I don't think this will go down as one of the great adaptations, but there are moments and aspects of the movie that sets it apart from the crowd.
Overall I rate this movie a 7/10, it's not as fantastic as I feel the trailers were making it out to be, but having seen the movie twice there are definitely elements of the movie I looked forward to watching the second time around.
So that's my review of Sony's Cinderella, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Movie Reviews as well as other posts.
#cinderella#cinderella 2021#camilla cabello#nicholas galitzine#pierce brosnan#idina menzel#minnie driver#romesh ranganathan#james corden#james acaster#billy porter#rob beckett
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riven/timmy/helia headcanons let's go -lambofzenith
YEEEAAAAHHHHH LET'S GOOOOO
So basically they're all a little stupid (affectionate) and they definitely use that to annoy each other (Riven: the earth is flat, I have proof; Helia: pft the earth is clearly shaped like a donut; Timmy: LMAO you losers believe in the earth??)
They have movie nights! Pretty much anything is on the table but, horror movies, buddy cop movies, space buddy cop movies, and surprisingly romantic comedies are their gotos. They usually like to destress so anything that's funny/not too serious is good in their books but they will occasionally watch some spooky horror movie for fun.
They like doing escape rooms! It's a good way to practice without too much stress and it gives them time to Be A Team in non-dangerous situations.
They do actually like playing video games together! Although only Timmy is really good at them (Riven is good at some but, usually only after tutorials and practice). They absolutely play things like Mario Cart or Super Smash Bros and they have a tally of who's winning. Timmy's in the lead with Riven in second and Helia at dead last (Timmy genuinely believes that if they tried hard enough, they could win a lot too. Poor Timmy 😔).
Going out to eat together is something they like to do a lot on free days and whenever they have the time. While they do have their usual places, they will often try new things! On Earth, they like to try hole-in-the-wall cafes just to see if they're good or not.
All three of them are insomniacs that spend way too much time being Awake at night. They usually end up just doing their own thing, whatever that may be, and will often gravitate towards someone's room so they can at least be awake together. Although this definitely doesn't happen every night, they need their alone time too, and they all understand this so no one gets particularly hurt if one or more decide to chill in their own rooms.
Speaking of rooms, the three of them often dorm together when they go places for missions or otherwise! Sky and Brandon have to room together and sometimes no one is allowed to be alone for safety reasons, so they're relatively used to rooming together. When they only have five people on the team, the rooming arrangements usually end up being uneven.
Riven obviously had a really hard time after Nabu's death in S4 and afterward started doing a weird push and pull with the rest of them. One day he would be really close and the next he'd be really distant. They could tell he was grieving and just didn't know exactly how. They tried their best to let him know they were there for him though and because of this ended up grieving for Nabu properly after Riven felt better. Which ended up being years after it happened... it came as a complete surprise to both of them and just reminded everyone of what happened (not that they forgot per say but, they had moved on and assumed everyone else had too).
Timmy often thinks about the time in S3 when Riven was so insistent on Tecna being gone forever. On one hand, he understands that the situation seemed like a lost cause and that Riven was just trying to help but, on the other hand, he can't help feeling a little scornful. If he had listened to Riven and the rest of them, he never would've found Tecna. Timmy still gets careful when someone gets really hurt or goes missing on missions because he still has an underlying fear that Riven will give up on them. He's never brought this up of course but Riven isn't clueless. He's noticed.
I can't talk about this Helia-centric headcanon because it involves a made-up backstory for him that doesn't fit into canon however, it's sad so think about something sad idk.
At one point, somewhere between the third and fourth season, Timmy offered to help Riven find his mom. Riven was really conflicted about this. He wanted to see her, to hear her side of the story, to forgive her, to be angry at her, to ask her why she left. In the end, Riven decided he wasn't ready to confront her just yet but Timmy does still have that information and often checks in to make sure she's still alive. They don't openly talk about it but Timmy does give little clues that she's okay so Riven doesn't have to ask.
While Helia isn't A Quiet Guy, he does have really quiet footsteps and often accidentally sneaks up on them. He swears he's not trying to :( but he isn't exactly being louder either.
You know that guy on Tiktok that climbs trees and then says something motivational when he gets to the top? That's Helia except he's not filming Tiktoks and he's not saying anything motivational either. Throughout the day, Timmy and Riven will often get weird videos from Helia that are shaky and badly filmed but are mainly just him doing something like climbing a tree. He doesn't say anything at the end and nothing actually happens but they'll still watch it all to support him. (Timmy: nice bro 👍; Riven: good climbing 👍)
Speaking of climbing trees, Helia will often climb up on something and then swing down when someone passes to tell them something. Again, he swears he's not purposefully trying to scare them :( he just has important information that can't wait for him to climb down :( no, he will not tell them why he's up there in the first place :(
These three are absolutely down to do Illegal Things for each other. "Oh, you need me to bury someone? Okay, let me clear my schedule real quick!" "You need me to hack into this guy's computer and delete all his files? Because he was mean to you? Okay :)" "Why do you want me to break into this government facility with you? Never mind, I was bored anyway. Let's go!"
As all three of them understand the I Need To Be Seen As Reliable And Good thing, they often actually calm each other down when one of them gets really amped in that feeling. On the flip side, they will also help each other train in areas they feel inadequate in. They have each other's backs but also know when to step in and stop someone.
They are just three very okay boys who need therapy and hugs and a cat to cuddle
This post specifically is them and all three of them are interchangeable depending on who has the dumb idea.
#CRYING AND SOBBING ABOUT THEM SPECIFICALLY#thank you 😭🥺#winx club#winx timmy#winx riven#winx helia#mine.headcanons#answered#lambofzenith#i hope you like these!! i have been thinking about these three for years im so glad someone else likes them
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Ghosts Empire Online Spoiler Special final part...
Ben, Larry and Martha.
Martha notes Fanny’s character development. They are planning to show more of her soft side in series three.
Ben wants to hold back from the Captain’s death, partly because it’s not the most interesting thing about him. He’s very aware that the tone needs to be quite carefully balanced between comedy and genuinely heartfelt emotion and doesn’t want to get too “heavy” with the Captain’s storylines, while still injecting drama and focusing on why he is as he is. Larry says they knew very early on how Cap died, but some of the characters have not been worked out fully or have changed because they realized something else has more dramatic possibilities.
Episode 1 -
Larry makes the point that the ghosts are like toddlers “with their hands tied behind their backs” in that they can do very little for themselves and Alison now has a morning routine revolving around setting them up for their days. He felt they had to do a ghost hunter episode at some point because it was obvious and a reversal of series one’s “cynicism” about the existence of ghosts from the living characters.
Cap’s fitness obsession is in there in part because Ben is really into running but Larry points out that his own run through woods in episode five was harder on him than filming the Captain’s short jog was on Ben! Ben had a stunt coordinator to help him do a tiny jump onto a crash mat when he was leaping to save Lady Button from being seen. They all found this hilarious because it was such a minor stunt and they’d all done loads of falling over in Horrible Histories.
Episode 3 -
They talked about the level of explosion they needed to have to warrant the Captain’s concern about the buried secret (once we discovered it wasn’t wholly a metaphor) without it being something that would’ve killed everyone. Larry finds it funny that Ben was so into war films as a child that he immediately said “oh, you’d need a limpet mine!” (These are attached to ships to create holes below the waterline).
Captain’s viability as a character comes from his internal conflict over being gay. He thinks the Edwardian era until the 50s was probably harder for gay men than prior to that. He doesn’t elaborate on why, but seems to say there was something about that time period in particular.
(Ed: He doesn’t say why he thinks this. I speculated on a few ideas
1. Perhaps the late Victorian surge in the power of the national press and use of the camera reduced people’s sense of privacy and enabled people to be the subject of campaigns and notoriety, e.g Oscar Wilde.
2 Perhaps he meant the 1885 Labouchere Amendment to the criminal law that made “gross indecency” short of proven anal sex a crime as well. Prior to that the law on male homosexuality was from Tudor times and required evidence of anal penetration proven to a legal standard. Any other sexual or intimate act between men had been legal (albeit not necessarily socially accepted). The amendment meant anything that could be considered foreplay or “coming on” to someone was now illegal. No definition was provided in the Act, which made it easier, not harder, to prosecute.
3. The First World War and all that surrounded it led to the particular construction that can be summed up as “patriotism requires battle-readiness, which means skills and virtues of traditional masculinity which are predicated on heterosexuality.” This is a drastic simplification, of course.
Aaaannnd back to Ben...
He says he never expected the degree to which the Captain has been adopted as significant character that embodies how so many people feel. Larry says that he thinks this is because Cap is a character who is gay, not a gay character and the majority of his story is about his functioning as a personality. His personality affects how he processes being gay and how he processes many other things too, but it isn’t that being gay IS his personality. (Ed: This is so important! As a gay woman I really struggle with characters who are written as “scene” because often that does mean that their entire personality is their sexuality, which I find reductive and alienating. It’s also exhausting when people have this self-portrayal in real life.)
Larry says he thinks the Captain would never have “allowed himself the possibility” that he’s gay because what could he have done about it in his time with his personality and attitude to risk, etc. Ben says Cap’s sexuality has never been treated as a joke in itself.
Fanny has a sexual awakening over Mike that the host described as “going Benny Hill”. Martha can’t watch it because it’s too much. They had to edit it a bit because she went over the top.
Larry says Robin being a conspiracy theorist is because he has no frame of reference for any of the things being discussed so he just believes everything that auto plays on YouTube.
They have to check about swearing and sexual references with Compliance. Ben says it’s funny what they will have problems with and what will be fine. (He seems to say it seems to lack internal logic.) Larry thinks being a quite daft show with a lot of overt silliness helps them get away with e.g. Pat saying “bullshit.”
Martha and Larry love that Simon puts a word in when he is making a noise of exertion when he’s moving things. He’s done Shawaddywaddy, Nixon, and has moved on to footballers’ names. He ad libs them all. They realized that with the burglary episode Julian would have to do everything because otherwise the plot wouldn’t work but thought it’d be ok if they had him be overtly annoyed about it and showed him to be the work shy layabout he thinks poor people are.
Initially, in their first pitch, Julian was dressed in PVC with a ball gag etc and they realized (Ed: thank god!) that they just couldn’t put that on television, so suggested what had happened in a much more likely to be allowed on TV before midnight way.
The hitchhiker Alison meets gave them pause due to its bleakness. Larry says they kept it to remind the audience that ghosts are everywhere and it is a horror comedy. He likes to keep the tone shifting and keep things unexpected. They reference how eager Fanny was to help the burglars, in that she can’t bear to see people do a task badly.
Mary and Kitty work as a team because the actors get on together, plus Kitty is so naive and Mary is such a “wildcard” that “if they only have each other to keep themselves on track” it’ll all go wrong (Larry). They joke about Cap being excited to have a moment to fight off insurgents. Ben calls it “frontline stuff!” and notes that Cap is an appalling military leader “in the wrong job.” This is partly because of leaving those two to do an important job, but generally, too. (Show some respect, Willbond).
Kitty’s song for Music Club was going to be “Saturday Night” by Wigfield, but they couldn’t get clearance. Larry also mentions not being allowed “Come on Eileen.” It’s clearly affected them all very deeply!
The End! (Until the last episode of the podcast, which I think is just about the Christmas special.) x
#bbc ghosts#ghosts christmas special#the captain#ben willbond#martha howe douglas#fanny ghosts#larry rickard#robin ghosts#empire online spoiler special
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i’d always been rigid before you
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The world around Wei Ying is a delightful shade of, of, fuck, what was it all the pretentious photography majors have told her? The one that’s all hazy orange and blurred edges. That makes everything feel old and fragile and romantic. The one Wei Ying likes best. It’s not black and white or the one on, on, dague-daguerreotype, but a-
“A calotype,” Wei Ying mumbles to herself, rubbing at her eyes as she stares at the ceiling from her spot on the ground. The world is only spinning a little bit, “Sepia!”
“Shut up, Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng throws at her, lacking all the heat it normally carries. Probably because he’s also fairly drunk. Makes him softer, like a cat. Wei Ying giggles to herself and reaches a hand out, wrapping warm fingers around Jiang Cheng’s ankle, pleased when he lets it rest there, “Did you order your food or not?”
“Oh!” she gasps, using his leg as support to claw her way up and into a sitting position, squinting one eye shut so she can focus on the tiny little words that light up her screen. Why were her letters so small? Why didn’t she set them to be big, like when she reset Jiang Fengimen’s for him? Absolute fool, she thinks to herself as she navigates the doordash app, hoping beyond hope that the app doesn’t crash while she’s ordering because she does not have the mental capacity to deal with that right now, “Yes!”
“Good, because if my order gets here before yours, I’m not sharing my fries with you,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, sounding absolutely put upon and yet, Wei Ying thinks smugly to herself, he doesn’t shake her off his leg. She counts that as a win.
“But didi,” she languishes, flopping across his feet dramatically, laughing when he nudges her just on the side of a kick, “I fully plan to share my pancakes with you!”
“I don’t want your pancakes, Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, “And you still can’t have my fries.”
She pouts and pouts and whines at the ceiling but gets no further response from Jiang Cheng besides a few grumbles and a grunted out question of horror or comedy? Her cheer of horror! is accepted and her glass is absolutely not refilled because obviously Jiang Cheng hates her. And of course his food does in fact get there first (probably because he’d ordered it a solid twenty minutes before she had even started looking at the iHop online menu but that is neither here nor there) but she does manage to steal an entire handful of fries from him and a sip of his coke because he loves her even if he pretends he doesn’t. Another victory.
She turns her pout towards her phone now, opening the doordash app to message her driver. She wants an ETA on her phone but she’s not willing to risk her food being spit on and she is very grateful that someone out there is willing to brave the cold to bring pancakes directly to her door so instead she opts for a completely casual and friendly, i love you ❤️
She doesn’t really expect a response, figures the doordash driver is busy or unwilling to talk or (hopefully) driving but her phone dings with the standard Hi, this is DoorDash connecting you to your Dasher for updates about your order. And then, I love you too.
She reads the message four times, mouthing the words to her screen with a heavy tongue before she throws her head back to laugh, feeling light and fuzzy because this stranger is playing along with her. She clicks back to her app to check the name of her driver and spends ten minutes tracing the letters on her screen that spell out Hanguang Jun.
Her food arrives with a perfunctory knock and she half stumbles her way to the door, fairly certain the floor is moving erratically beneath her just to slow her down. Even though she yells, “I’m coming, I’m coming, hold on!” (words nearly unintelligible with the way they stumble and slur out of her mouth) and she throws the door open with all her might, she doesn’t make it in time to see her dasher. She thinks she catches a glimpse of long shiny black hair, but really that could be a shadow.
She leaves a five star review on the dasher anyways, for being lovely.
::
The next day she slides into her seat in her criminology class, right at the front, 8AM sharp (8:08). The front row of class is, generally, not her favorite spot, especially in big auditoriums like this. She’d rather be somewhere in the upper middle, where she could sink low if she needed to but still be heard if she has questions or comments. Especially, especially, when she is hungover enough that her ice coffee does nothing to curb the throbbing in her head.
But.
But Lan Zhan likes to sit in the front row and Wei Ying likes to sit next to Lan Zhan. So. So she will suffer through her Professor’s half glare as she stumbles in late and slides into the (thankfully) empty seat next to her. Lan Zhan doesn’t bother looking at her, too busy jotting down little notes in her journal, watching the screen as the professor discusses a future class assignment. Wei Ying sets her drink down carefully and then continues to messily rifle through her bag in search of a scrap of paper and anything to write with and comes up remarkably short.
A carefully sharpened pencil and a neat, small, stack of notebook paper are pushed her way, even as Lan Zhan continues to look forward. It’s so small and stupid but it has Wei Ying grinning like a fool, leaning close enough into Lan Zhan’s shoulder to whisper, thank you, lan zhan, my hero. She’s fairly certain Lan Zhan mostly just tolerates her, but god, tolerates her in the nicest way possible.
She turns back around and listens for the rest of class. By “listen” she means she is secretly recording the lecture on her phone, which she will absolutely listen to later, and maintains half attention while also drawing a bunny on one of the sheets Lan Zhan gave her. She’s pretty certain bunnies are Lan Zhan’s favorite and so she is ever perfecting the art of drawing them; realistically, cartoon-esque, blocky orbs that mostly just look funny to Wei Ying herself, but in all ways she practices. This one looks pretty good, she decides halfway through class, and so she will give it to Lan Zhan when their professor finally stops talking.
(It crosses her mind that Lan Zhan might not appreciate the waste of her own paper but she hopes the cuteness of the bunny will make up for that)
She’s just adding the finishing touches to the piece when the professor wraps up class, the music of end of class clatter lighting up the room; laptops and notebooks being shut, zipped away safely in backpacks. Wei Ying has no such noise, being that none of the supplies on her desk are her own besides her mostly empty coffee cup. She turns to Lan Zhan without a second thought, tapping lightly on her shoulder, and smiling what her sister calls her “winning smile” (Jiang Cheng refers to it as her “shit eating grin” and that is why he is not her favorite sister. Although, he still holds the title for her favorite brother. Don’t tell him that) as Lan Zhan tilts her head gracefully in her direction.
“For you!” she half shouts, giddy like a small child, pressing the drawing into Lan Zhan’s notebook.
“Me?” Lan Zhan questions, brows furrowing just the slightest amount, enough for Wei Ying to have to fight the urge to reach out and smooth the lines that crinkle there. Her eyes widen, though, when she looks down and sees the bunny and god, oh my god, her lips pull up on one side in what is definitely a Lan-Zhan-smile. She is smiling and all because of Wei Ying.
“Bunny,” is all she says, sounding reverent as her fingers reach out to stroke the page, as if it might carry any of the real softness of rabbit fur.
This is the best day of Wei Ying’s life.
“I thought you liked them!” Wei Ying shouts, oblivious of the students who are trying to filter out of their seats around them. She leans to the side, so that her forehead touches Lan Zhan’s shoulder, just enough pressure to really feel each other and says, “Thank you for always taking care of me, Lan Zhan!”
Lan Zhan is stiff beneath her, but she nods anyways and then reaches out to carefully fold around the rabbit and place it safely in her notebook, humming as she does. She’s keeping it. When Wei Ying lifts her head off the girl’s shoulder, Lan Zhan fully turns to look at her, eyes scrutinizing everything from Wei Ying’s twisted ponytail to the bags under her eyes, “I am surprised Wei Ying is here today.”
“What!” Wei Ying squawks, “This is my favorite class!” this is my lan-zhan-class!
“Mn,” Lan Zhan nods, and then purses her lips when she catches sight of the coffee sweating on the corner of Wei Ying’s desk, “Wei Ying should drink more water.”
“Ahh, there you go again!” Wei Ying laughs, finally hefting her bag onto her shoulder and moving to stand up, “Always trying to take care of me!”
The tips of Lan Zhan’s ears turn tomato red and she doesn’t respond to that comment, so Wei Ying figures Lan Zhan’s tolerance for her up for the day. Ah, well, she had a good run today! Enough to hold her off until Wednesday (that is, unless she sees Lan Zhan walking around on campus between now and then. She’s never had very good self-control around Lan Zhan).
“I’ll see you on Wednesday, Lan Zhan!” she calls over her shoulder as she bounces her way out of the class. She’ll draw a better bunny on Wednesday, she’s sure, one good enough to make Lan Zhan look at her twice. She will.
::
She’s halfway through her jog on Tuesday when Wen Qing calls her. She answers the phone without bothering to stop running, much to the distaste of Wen Qing, who has to listen to her pant.
“We’re drinking tonight,” is how Wen Qing starts this conversation.
“Wow, hello to you too,” Wei Ying says through heavy breathes, just to be an asshole, “I’m good today, how are you?”
“I’m fucking shitty, why else would I be calling you up?” Wen Qing snaps, as though she doesn’t call Wei Ying minimum three times a week on top of lunch dates every Thursday.
“What happened?” Wei Ying asks, rounding the corner of the park and heading in a straight line towards her apartment complex.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Wen Qing says, sounding remarkably impatient for someone who started this phone call. And with Wei Wuxian of all people.
“Ah,” Wei Ying nods to herself, “So Mianmian then.”
“I didn’t say that!” Wen Qing snaps.
“Didn’t have to,” Wei Ying reminds her, coming to the flight of stairs that lead to her apartment, “I know of all your woes, Qing-jie.”
“You don’t know shit,” she hears from multiple angles.
“Are you already-” she begins asking, but cuts herself off when she reaches the top of the stairs and sees Wen Qing standing angrily outside her door, two bottles of Vodka in hand, “Alright then.”
“Just open the door, Wei Wuxian,” Wen Qing demands, stepping aside as Wei Ying comes closer, “I’m tired of holding these fucking bottles.”
“Okay, okay, okay,” Wei Ying laughs, unlocking the door, “Make yourself comfortable.”
“You know I will.”
::
The world is once again hazy, less nice this time because her stomach still feels a little squirmy from the last hangover. She misses her recovery time from high school (read: no hangovers ever), now she’s just an old lady who can only drink, like, once a week. A tragedy.
Yet, here she is, on the floor once again because she seems to always end up on the floor when she’s drunk. It’s a nice spot; safe and big, big enough to spread her long limbs out wide.
“I want pancakes,” she says to the ceiling fan, expecting no response.
Instead she gets, “You already ordered your fucking pancakes, it’s not my fault you always take forever to actually order.”
“But Qing-jie!” she whines, rolling on her side to give Wen Qing her puppy dog eyes, “You got your food so quick and I’m still waiting.”
“Again, not my fault,” Wen Qing snaps before shoving an ungodly amount of burrito into her mouth, “Just message your driver to see where they’re at.”
“Oh yeah!!” she whips out her phone so fast it goes flying across the room and she has to crawl on her belly like a snake to get it. Her driver’s name is weird, Hanguang Jun, familiar even though it’s strange and... “It’s my driver from last Sunday!”
“Okay?” Wen Qing says around her burrito, rolling her eyes when Wei Ying waves her off.
u r my soulmate, she sends with zero hesitation, grinning when her phone buzzes almost immediately.
Hi, this is DoorDash connecting you to your Dasher for updates about your order. It says, yet again, and then, Really.
So dry, so cute! Wei Ying doesn’t know this person but she likes them already. The ability to play into her antics is not one possessed by everyone, so she will value it when she finds it, yes 😳
I am glad to know that, Hanguang Jun replies in an instant.
Wei Ying wants to play it really cool and really fun but she’s also absolutely starving and so she sends, what’s going on over there
A long line.
Then, because she decides she wants to go back to being fun she types out, its okay just hold on i cant wait to see u
I cannot wait to see you either.
And then Wei Ying just about dies and stays that way, arm thrown over her eyes and groaning like a fool on the vaguely dirty carpet of her apartment until she notices Wen Qing trying to fill her cup once again.
“Wen Qing, don’t drink all the Vodka!” she shouts right as there is a knock on the door and she jumps up, hoping if she hustles to the door she can see the illustrious Hanguang Jun this time. It’s a no-go, but she does find her food placed neatly on her doorstep with a small handwritten note that says For my soulmate.
So five stars once again.
::
She slides into her seat somehow even more haggard than on Monday and barely has time to look at Lan Zhan, sitting prim in her seat, hair straight and long, with a powder blue sweater over a white dress shirt and a short black skirt to match, long legs covered by black tights, before the other girl thrusts a huge water bottle her way.
“Drink,” Lan Zhan says by way of greeting, staring Wei Ying down until she hesitantly opens the bottle and takes a sip, smiling unsure when she pulls away.
“Lan Zhan?” she asks, screwing the cap back on slowly.
“Water is good for Wei Ying,” she states, turning away. Wei Ying stares at her for a second more and then nods, pulling out her now-found notebook with a smile.
“It’s almost like you care about me, Lan Zhan,” She whispers, smirking when she sees Lan Zhan’s fingers tighten around her pencil.
Lan Zhan doesn’t dignify that with a response, so she leaves it alone for now, tuning back to her own page to maybe take notes this class. Maybe.
::
Lan Zhan follows her out of class that day, lets Wei Ying latch onto her arm like a fool and chatter away as they mill about the crowds of other undergrad students. She hmms and mms at all the right moments and sometimes, very rarely but sometimes, she seems to cling back to Wei Ying as much as Wei Ying clings to her.
Wei Ying is a little in love.
Before she can do something stupid, like say that, Lan Zhan turns, and meets the eyes of Nie Mingjue, who looks smug and stern as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. Lan Zhan’s eyes widen and she hastens to disentangle herself from Wei Ying’s grasp, taking a side step away.
“Hey isn’t that your brother’s best friend?” Wei Ying asks, but by the time she looks up Lan Zhan is gone, lost in the throng of people.
Wei Ying stands alone in the quad center as people mill around her, feeling lost and a little hurt by the sudden vanish of her friend, meeting Nie Mingjue’s pitying gaze only once before she hustles along to the buses.
::
Lan Zhan had done this in high school, too. Had run away from Wei Ying anytime someone significant came into view of them. Had shoved Wei Ying off and called her shameless and walked away from her without ever turning around. Wei Ying remembers a lot of Lan Zhan’s back, always walking away, always a little out of reach.
That was okay though, they were kids, still working through everything. Wei Ying always assumed it was just hormones or Lan Zhan working through her own inner gay crisis combined with Wei Ying’s own puberty induced irritatingness. She assumed that would stop now; they were adults and Lan Zhan had really come into her own and Wei Ying had calmed down ever so slightly. What did it matter if her brother saw her with Wei Ying? What could it hurt?
Just Wei Ying, it turns out. It could hurt Wei Ying.
::
Wei Ying spends maybe, slightly, too much money on food delivery. It’s just, she always wants food when she’s drunk and she’s very against drinking and driving and she never has the forethought to get food before she starts drinking so here she is.
Your driver is on their way! The app notifies her and only then does she remember to check who is picking the food up for her, squealing when she sees the name.
Hanguang jun!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi, this is DoorDash connecting you to your Dasher for updates about your order. She gets and then, Yes.
its u again!!!
Hanguang Jun: It is me.
Wei Ying: u r the love of my life
Hanguang Jun: I thought I was your soulmate?
Wei Ying: r u saying u cant be both 🥺
Hanguang Jun: I can be whatever you need.
That has Wei Ying blushing from head to toe in her thankfully empty apartment. She has to take a moment to breathe before she can reply with, ah so smooth hanguang jun
There is a brief pause, one that has Wei Ying waiting, staring at her phone with a too cheesy smile on her face, Mn. For you.
She squeals in excitement so loud she almost misses the knock on the door. It's distracting enough to slow her down, so still no sight of Hanguang Jun tonight. Their chat disconnects but it’s okay, there will be a next time.
(Wei Ying hopes there will be a next time).
Rate your dasher: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
::
Wei Ying’s criminology class is not a small class. Small classes have order and structure; you get to know your fellow classmates and an informal seating chart begins to appear usually after the second week of class. This one, however, is set in a wide auditorium that fills with too many students to even know any of them, who always seem to be moving around, always in new spots. Which is why it continually surprises Wei Ying that her spot is always empty and waiting for her when she stumbles in ten minutes late. She voices this out loud only to receive an eye roll from Lan Zhan.
“It is Wei Ying’s spot,” is all she says, turning forward once again. And it is her spot but that’s not the point of Wei Ying’s argument, now is it?
“Hmph,” she sighs to herself, digging around in her bag until she finds the two bunny pens she had purchased this weekend on a whim at some novelty store. They’re both silicone smooth, with rounded bunny heads on the end and ears that extend maybe a bit too far. She pushes the black one onto Lan Zhan’s desk and whispers, “That one is for you.”
“For...me?” Lan Zhan asks, lips parting as she looks down at the pen in her hand and then back up at Wei Ying, the hint of a smile in her cheeks.
“Of course! You’re my favorite Lan Zhan, who else would I buy a pen for?” she says back, feeling utterly pleased with herself to have gained such a positive reaction, wiggling closer in her seat to press her arm against Lan Zhan, “You’re my favorite.”
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan calls, not quite a whisper, but soft and intense, one of her hands reaching out to grab at Wei Ying’s own. Wei Ying is delighted to find the other girl has rough calluses on the tips of her fingers that scrape gently against her knuckles, “Thank you.”
“Lan Zhan, ah, it’s no big deal, really,” she whispers, suddenly shy, using her free hand to rub at the back of her neck, “I was just thinking about you, you know?”
Lan Zhan stares at her for just a beat too long, before she pulls away entirely. Before Wei Ying can panic, though, she neatly puts her original pen away and picks up the bunny pen, smiling down at her notebook as she writes her notes, trying to hide the biggest smile Wei Ying has ever seen from the other girl.
She’s so warm next to Wei Ying and she never looks like she even considers switching away from the bunny pen even though it's surely not as nice as the gel one she’d been using before. When the professor dismisses them a mere minute and a half before their class is scheduled to end, Wei Ying finds herself in a panic, desperate not to let Lan Zhan slip away just yet.
“Hey,” she says, one hand reaching out lightning fast to grasp Lan Zhan’s elbow, “Do you want to get coffee?”
Lan Zhan frowns, goes to open her mouth but doesn’t manage to get a single sound out before Wei Ying half shouts, “Tea! Tea! I know you like tea instead of coffee, let’s get tea, Lan Zhan.”
Lan Zhan stares at her long enough that Wei Ying begins to squirm in her seat, words on the tip of her tongue to take it all back, rescind her existence entirely when Lan Zhan asks, “Wei Ying...knows I like tea?”
“Well, yes,” Wei Ying nods, hoping this doesn’t make her seem like she’s been paying too much attention to Lan Zhan, “It’s just, you never bring coffee to class, always tea. So, I just, like, assumed. But, tea?”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan says, “Let’s get tea.”
::
So they get tea in what is the best and most excruciating forty five minutes of Wei Ying’s entire life. Lan Zhan sits across from her with the poise and beauty of a marble statue, sharp lines carved from stone only to be softened when she laughs at Wei Ying’s silliness. She steeps jasmine tea in a teacup and bats it around with a spoon, slow, careful, sure enough in her practiced movements that Wei Ying finds herself enraptured, watching those fingers with a single minded focus. She’s never been enraptured by tea before. She doesn’t even really like tea.
They sit close enough that their knees brush every once in a while, whenever Lan Zhan recrossses her legs and it's enough to send sparks up Wei Ying’s leg, through her sweatpant clad knee. It is the best feeling in the world, she’s sure. And yet, also a special kind of hell to sit here, next to a Goddess and not be able to reach out and touch, to ask for more.
She wishes Lan Zhan wanted more.
But, she’ll take friendship and tea over nothing, so she keeps her complaints to herself and regails Lan Zhan with every funny story she can think of, preening when Lan Zhan smiles at her.
“I had to explain to my professor the entire concept of Star Trek, Lan Zhan. Like I had to sit there in this highly academic room and be all well you see, sir, the entire doctrine of the Prime Directive contradicts everything he just said so that’s really not a suitable analogy to make. And I’m not even the one who brought it up!” she half yells, throwing her hands up in exasperation, “Now I’m the one who looks like some kind of scifi nerd to our professor!”
“Hmm,” Lan Zhan hums, blowing into the steam of her tea, “Wei Ying has seen Star Trek though?”
“Well, yes.”
“A lot of it?”
“I mean, what do you consider a lot? That’s very subjective, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying smiles, working around the statement just to be coy, just to see the faint amusement that lights up Lan Zhan’s eyes.
“Wei Ying.”
“I may or may not have seen all of it, but that is so not the point!” Wei Ying counters, pointing her finger at Lan Zhan just to make her point.
“It seems then,” Lan Zhan starts, taking a sip of her tea, thoroughly uncowed, “that Wei Ying is some kind of ‘scifi nerd.’”
“Lan Zhan!” she squawks, throwing a hand over her heart in faux hurt, “I have never felt more betrayed than in this moment, more hurt, more wounded, more heartbroken.”
“Mn, Wei Ying has had it easy then,” Lan Zhan nods, tracing the rim of her teacup with the tip of her finger, “Someone has to make it more difficult for her. What did you say earlier? It ‘builds character’?”
“Lan Zhan!” she squeezes the hand over her heart more intensely, sighing long and winded, “How could you do this to me, Lan Zhan, your dearest Wei Ying?”
Lan Zhan’s eyes move from roaming over Wei Ying’s face, to glance over her shoulder, widening slightly at whatever she sees. She stands without another word, fumbles with her wallet to drop a note on the table and says, “I must leave now, Wei Ying.”
Lan Zhan leaves without a second glance, turning away from the front entrance which is a much straighter shot out of the cafe and onto the main street, to quite literally sneak out of the side door, that leads only to an alley and a trash can. Wei Ying stares after her, shocked mostly, until she hears the front bell chime. She turns to see a man walk in with dark silky hair, wide shoulders, and well tailored clothes set in a deep blue that compliments his skin perfectly. He wears a warm smile and allows the smaller man next to him to walk ahead, a hand rested firmly but respectfully on the small of his back.
Lan Xichen.
Ah, Wei Ying thinks to herself as it dawns on her, spinning around the spoon in her tea idly, feeling brittle and cracked all at once, she just didn’t want to be seen with me in front of her brother.
That’s fine, it really is. So maybe nothing has really changed since high school. They weren’t friends then and they aren’t now, not really. Wei Ying was foolish to ever get her hopes up for anything more. She 100% understands. She is loud, and talks with her mouth full, and once almost got kicked out of university just a little bit. She should have expected this, if she was being honest with herself.
She still can’t manage to bring the smile back to her face though.
::
She manages an entire three days of being sad and not drunk before Wen Ning waltzes into her apartment unannounced (when he got a key she will never know) and plies her with long island iced teas.
“She’s just so nice, A-Ning,” Wei Ying moans, face down on the floor, “She’s so nice and pretty, god she’s so pretty A-Ning, and she’s always wearing these skirts, her legs are to die for.”
“But she did not want to be seen with you?” Wen Ning clarifies from where he sits, perched on her couch, leaning over to place another drink next to her head.
“No,” Wei Ying whimpers again, sounding absolutely miserable. She knows she might be acting a bit over dramatic, it's just, she’s known Lan Zhan since she was fourteen, had followed her around then, berating her until she got a reaction. And maybe that had been nothing more than a nuisance to Lan Zhan but it had meant a lot to Wei Ying. Too much probably. She had cried actual tears of joy when she discovered they had both enrolled at the same university, that first semester on campus. And sure maybe they weren’t best friends of anything but Lan Zhan was one hundred percent Wei Ying’s sexual awakening.
And Wei Ying just might be a little, tiny bit in love with her. Or like, on the road to being in love. Very close. In need of only a few kind words and maybe for Lan Zhan to kiss her.
“Hey,” Jiang Cheng snaps from the other side of the room, like actually snaps his fingers at her until she lifts her head to look at him, “Listen, you stupid little peabrain. Stop thinking with your dick and start thinking with your head.”
“I don’t have a dick,” she complains, rubbing her cheek into the carpet, “Maybe if I did, Lan Zhan would be less embarrassed of me.”
That earns her a pillow thrown straight at her head, “Peabrain! If she doesn’t want to be seen with you, that’s not nice.”
“But-”
“Being pretty doesn’t make her nice!”
“She-”
“Having nice legs doesn’t make her nice!”
“But she is nice!” Wei Ying shouts, pushing herself up enough to sit as she stares angrily down at Jiang Cheng, “She lets me sit next to her in class, and smiles when I give her bunnies, and puts up with me whispering to myself while the teacher talks and-”
“All I hear is puts up with and lets me, Wei Wuxian, that’s not what nice is!” Jiang Cheng shouts right back, glaring at her the whole time, “You should waste your time on someone who is actually nice to you.”
“I am.”
“Would you ever let me date someone who was ashamed of me, Wei Wuxian?” Jiang Cheng asks, face serious as he leans in closer to her, “I’m your didi, would you let someone treat me like that? Would you let me treat me like that?”
She doesn’t have a response for that so she lays in silence, staring at the blades of the ceiling fan that spin around and around and around.
“Maybe she is very nice, Wei Ying,” Wen Ning interjects, breaking the silence, reaching one hand out to pet Wei Ying’s hair, “But maybe Wei Ying should be nice to herself too. Do you feel good right now? Have you been nice to yourself?”
“You don’t understand and I don’t want to talk to either of you anymore,” Wei Ying pouts and lets herself drop back to the floor, curling on her side around her phone, “And I just want my fucking pancakes.”
She checks her order status and lo and behold, there they are again. Hanguang Jun.
hanguang jun will u be my wife, she asks and then doubles back, im a lesbian.
Hi, this is DoorDash connecting you to your Dasher for updates about your order. She gets and then, Yes.
yes ull b my wife or yes im a lesbian
Hanguang Jun: Yes, I will be your wife.
thats great!!!!!!! Wei Ying sends back, with exactly the right amount of exclamation points, smiling into her phone screen, hey now that we r married will u stay at my door long enough for me to c u
Hanguang Jun: Hm. Are you intoxicated?
hanguang jun what kind of ? is that!!!!! of course i am!!!! why else do people get food delivered!!!!
Hanguang Jun: For many reasons. If you make it to the door fast enough, you will see me.
hanguang jun!!!!!!!
This time, the knock is a barely there tap that Wei Ying is absolutely sure is on purpose and despite picking herself up and essentially running to the door, she still only manages to catch a glimpse of long hair and a blue shirt.
She opens her food in miserable silence, only breaking out of her gloom when she sees the little note: For my wife. written on the lid of the box. She lets herself focus on that instead of the crushing reality of Lan Zhan’s embarrassment of her, smiling every time she shoves a too big bite of pancake into her mouth.
Rate your dasher: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
::
Monday roles around too soon and the next thing Wei Ying knows, she’s skulking into her criminology class exactly twelve minutes late, staring at the empty seat next to Lan Zhan. The thing is, the fresh sting of it all has soothed into a deep ache, more bearable to wear in public. Now she just finds it all awkward. Like, it’s awkward to just all the sudden ditch out on Lan Zhan and try to find some other non-shitty seat somewhere else, right? But it's also awkward to sit next to Lan Zhan when it seems Lan Zhan doesn’t want that, not really, not publicly.
The walk into the classroom is too short to solve any of these problems, so she just slides into her usual seat, carefully keeping her face forward, keeping to her own space instead of spilling out into the seat over to brush against Lan Zhan. Which is. Fine.
She takes studious notes and never once lets her eyes waver to the seat next to her. It takes a lot of mental energy. When the class is over, she doesn’t bother digging her stuff back into her bag, her only thoughts on how to get out of there as fast as she can, gathering them all into a messy pile in her arms and standing before the professor has even said goodbye.
“Wei Ying,” a quiet voice says next to her, a gentle reaching out to cup the ball of her elbow. Wei Ying takes a single deep breath and turns back around with a hopefully believable smile on her face. The black bunny pen is laid haphazardly across Lan Zhan’s notes. She was still using the pen. Ah, Lan Zhan is so nice, Wei Ying thinks to herself even as she feels her bottom lip wobble dangerously.
“Ah, Lan Zhan, I’m kind of in a rush today, okay? Gotta get going!” she chirps, looking anywhere but the steady hand that still hold her arm. Lan Zhan stares up at her, trying to meet her eyes, sighing when she seems to realize Wei Ying has no intention of looking away from the floor.
“Okay, Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan sighs again, letting go of her arm to fold her hands properly across her lap, “I will see you on Wednesday.”
“Yeah, totally, for sure,” Wei Ying chants and skids out of the aisle as fast as she possibly can, never once looking back. She doesn’t see Lan Zhan watch her leave, a tiny confused frown painting her lips.
::
This time, Wei Ying isn’t even the one to make the first move. She doordashes chocolate and gatorade and mini donuts from the nearest gas station and decides to sulk on her couch until it arrives (and ignore the paper she should be writing. She has time though, it’s not due for another 43 hours).
Her phone chimes from where it rests on the couch next to her, revealing a doordash message.
Hi, this is DoorDash connecting you to your Dasher for updates about your order.
Hanguang Jun: Are you drinking at 10:30 in the morning?
is that judgement i hear, Wei Ying responds, snorting a laugh as she does. Hanguang Jun might just be a fuddy duddy.
Hanguang Jun: We are speaking through an instant messaging service. You do not hear anything.
potato tomato, Wei Ying responds, just to be difficult and then a quick, also no im not drinking im just sad
The pause after this is long, stretching out enough that Wei Ying sets her phone down entirely and turns her attention back to the shitty soap opera she was watching, when the phone dings again.
Hanguang Jun: Why are you sad?
hanguang jun so invasive! She responds with a laugh, adding, i guess u r my wife now it is ur right to know
Hanguang Jun: Mn. Have to keep track of you.
hanguang jun! Wei Ying would yell if they were talking in person. Hell, she yells now into the fabric of her pillow, ur making me blush
Hanguang Jun: Good.
anyways, Wei Ying directs, because it seems otherwise they’ll just keep going in a circle of Wei Ying blushing and Hangunag Jun being, well, whatever it is they are being, there is a girl.
Hanguang Jun: A girl?
a perfect girl. the best, most beautiful girl, way out of my league, Wei Ying explains, hoping that with this fresh new person she can convey just how wonderful Lan Zhan is, seeing as how that didn’t go over well with Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning (although, Wei Ying is pretty sure Jiang Cheng has hated Lan Zhan since high school, she’s just not ready to unpack that yet), but she doesnt like me back. or like at all really i dont think she even wants to be friends with me
Hanguang Jun: You are sure of this?
yes!!!! Wei Ying sends back, rapid fire, she presents all of the wei-ying-is-annoying vibes
Hanguang Jun: And what, exactly, are the ‘Wei Ying is annoying vibes’?
well thats just too much to answer theres so many, Wei Ying, sinking deeper and deeper into the crest of her couch; this conversation is definitely not making her feel better the way she hoped it would.
Hanguang Jun: Hm. This seems unlikely.
unlikely????
Hanguang Jun: Mn. Wei Ying is a delight to be around, impossible to dislike her.
hanGUANG JUN
Hanguang Jun: Then how do you expect someone to show they like you? Romantically speaking.
oh thats easy, she types, thinking about the things she wants Lan Zhan to say to her, just ask me to get food really. im always down for food i think its a good first date, so if i say no to that i definitely dont like u lol
Hm, is all Hanguang Jun has left to say so Wei Ying goes back to being sad on her couch and dutifully waits for her cool blue gatorade and kitkat bar, not even bothering to run to the door when she hears the knock. She’s fairly positive Hanguang Jun isn’t planning on waiting around for her anyways. She still rates her five stars though; doesn’t want to fuck up her rating or whatever.
::
She repeats her routine, slinking into class late and trying her very hardest not to be a nuisance to Lan Zhan, leaning in the opposite direction and keeping her elbows to herself. Better to not annoy the other girl anymore than she already has. She thinks back to the beginning of the semester, when she’d draped herself all over Lan Zhan, happy and sure of herself, only now all she hears over the memory is Lan Zhan’s voice, angry and disappointed as she calls Wei Ying shameless.
Wei Ying does, in fact, have shame. A lot of it. Too much of it. Enough to keep her quiet and complacent for the hour and twenty minutes she must sit beside Lan Zhan knowing well enough the other girl doesn’t even respect her enough to be seen with her in public.
She tries to slip out of class as quickly as possible but there is Lan Zhan’s hand again, shooting out to grab her and pull her back.
“Wei Ying,” she says, eyebrows furrowing in that way they always do when she’s stressed about something. It takes all of Wei Wuxian’s restraint to not reach out and soothe the taught skin there back into place. Would Lan Zhan like that? Be okay with Wei Ying touching her like that in front of everyone? “I would like to ask you a question.”
“Oh,” Wei Ying nods to herself, fingers digging into the notebook she holds tight against her chest, “Is it about the homework? Ah, Lan Zhan you know you’re better at this than I am anyways.”
“It is not about the homework, no,” Lan Zhan shakes her head, looking solemn, shoulders drawn up as she rises from her seat, her bag resting over her shoulder, neatly packed up like she’s geared up to make a quick getaway too, “Would you like to get pancakes with me?”
Even the word makes her sweat. All the nights she’s spent eating pancakes (they’re her go to drunken craving) only to throw up the surgery sweetness later, to feel it twisting around in her alcohol burned stomach, acid and sugar making her raw and dizzy and nauseated; so good when she’s eating them under an alcohol induced haze and utterly ruined for her when she’s sober.
“Oh,” she says, shaking her head, “No, I don’t like pancakes.”
Wei Ying’s mouth is still open, about to suggest a different option, when Lan Zhan’s whole face shutters in a range of emotions Wei Ying can’t dare to name, and ends in smooth porcelain, eyes no longer meeting Wei Ying’s own, but staring past her likes she burns to look at.
“I see,” Lan Zhan says in a tone so flat, Wei Ying feels a little hysterical, what does she see what does she see, “Goodbye, Wei Ying.”
Lan Zhan is out of the classroom before Wei Ying can grab her, though she calls to her long after she loses sight of Lan Zhan’s baby blue scrunchy, lost in the crowd of undergrads milling about, always in Wei Ying’s way.
Lan Zhan had looked at her like Wei Ying had said exactly what she’d feared only that didn’t make sense. How could Wei Ying have let her down when Lan Zhan had no hopes for her to begin with?
::
She drinks with Nie Huaisang that night and orders food and some random named Athony delivers it to her. She doesn’t opt to message him.
She only eats half of her pancakes, feeling incredibly abandoned and incredibly lonely.
::
On Monday she gets to class early. Like actually early, as in fifteen minutes before the class is even scheduled to begin, not just on time. It’s a first for her and she’s very proud. She’d hoped that Lan Zhan wouldn’t be there yet, that she could set up her stuff in peace and then when Lan Zhan came into the classroom she could see where Wei Ying was and decide if she wanted to sit next to her or not. She’d looked so upset on Wednesday, afterall.
But, of course, Lan Zhan is already there.
She looks gorgeous from where she sits, posture straight, perfect, shoulders drawn back making her look confident. Untouchable. Her makeup is lightly done and perfectly applied, lips shiny with tinted chapstick, notebook ready on her desk, bunny pen laid gently on top of that. And in the spot next to her, Wei Ying’s seat, rests her bag, taking up the entirety of the table, a warning to all intruders.
Wei Ying walks up extra slowly, trying to determine whether or not she is welcome, tiptoeing her way down the aisle, hoping Lan Zhan won’t look at her, hoping she will.
“Is this seat taken?” she asks, her voice nothing more than a whisper, not loud enough for others to hear, ready to be hurt.
“It is Wei Ying’s seat,” Lan Zhan replies instead, keeping her eyes on the ground even as her hand reaches out to pull it out of Wei Ying’s way. This is the first time Wei Ying has seen it up close, has gotten to see the little cloud patterns, the letters embroidered into the fabric, spelling out, h a n g u -
Hanguang Jun.
Hanguang Jun!!!
“Hanguang Jun?” she blurts out before she can stop herself, “You, you’re...”
“Wei Ying?” Lan Zhan asks, only now looking up at her, that same confused furrow to her brow, “It is my nickname, from high school, from the-”
“From the volleyball team,” Wei Ying nods with dawning horror, “You are you, do you, Lan Zhan, was that you the whole time?”
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says, nods to herself really, as if the simple act of saying her name provided comfort, “I thought you knew.”
“I didn’t, I thought, I didn’t know,” she finishes lamely, feeling her cheeks burn as she thinks back to all the things she had sent to Hanguang Jun. She looks down at the bag to keep her eyes focused elsewhere and remembers, “Hey it’s on my desk.”
“Yes?” Lan Zhan replies, though it feels like more of a question.
“Have you been saving me a seat this whole time? Is that how I managed to get a good seat this whole semester, even though I was late everyday?”
Lan Zhan’s ears go red, stark against the black hair tucked behind them, but she nods firmly, unashamed, “It is Wei Ying’s seat.”
“You, you actually, you wanted me to sit next to you?” Wei Ying asks, feeling only halfway hysterical, “I didn’t force myself on you? You’re not embarrassed to be seen with me?”
Lan Zhan’s frown deepens at this, angry, “Could never be embarrassed of Wei Ying.”
“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan-” Wei Ying begins, only to be cut off by their professor.
“Everyone, please take a seat,” Professor Whoever The Hell says, making eye contact with Wei Ying and she sits down, utterly stunned.
“Lan Zhan,” she whispers when he turns around, “Can we talk after class?”
Lan Zhan looks at her for a long time then, calculating, assessing, before nodding her head with a firm, “Mn.”
::
Before either of them can escape, Wei Ying tangles her fingers with Lan Zhan’s and drags her out of the class behind her, pulling her into a little alcove surrounded by trees with little dangly purple flowers. It would be pretty on any other day when Wei Ying doesn’t feel like she’s about to burst out of her rib cage.
“Lan Zhan, it was you the whole time?” she asks again, still a little dazed from that realization.
“Yes, Wei Ying,” she nods, still hiding her eyes from Wei Ying, “Was certain you knew, thought you were...”
“You thought I was??” Wei Ying urges, a hand reaching out for Lan Zhan before she can stop herself.
“Thought you were flirting with me,” Lan Zhan admits, in nothing louder than a whisper, shaking her head as she does, “It is stupid.”
“It wasn’t!” Wei Ying half shouts, throwing her hands in the air, “It wasn’t, it wasn’t, Lan Zhan, I promise.”
“You did not know it was me, and...” Lan Zhan trails off again, wringing her hands together in front of her. It is the most unsure of herself Wei Ying has ever seen her; it breaks her heart just to watch.
“And what? Lan Zhan, you have to tell me,” Wei Ying all out begs, gasping when Lan Zhan’s eyes finally raise to meet her own; they’re red rimmed and miserable.
“Wei Ying said no,” she says after a long while, lips twisting in a grimace, “Wei Ying said no to food, so she definitely doesn’t like me.”
“I didn’t say no to you!” Wei Ying shouts, loud enough to attract the attention of passersby, “I said no to pancakes, not you!”
“Wei Ying, please, do not patronize me,” Lan Zhan resists, eyes hardening even though she is still clearly sad. God, how could Wei Ying have missed how sad she was? “I have been delivering pancakes to Wei Ying for weeks.”
“That’s exactly it!” Wei Ying rushes out, one hand shooting out to wrap around Lan Zhan’s wrist like she’s afraid the other girl might run away, “That’s what drunk me eats! And I always, always get sick, Lan Zhan! I can’t eat them when I’m sober, I’ll puke!”
“You...don’t like pancakes,” Lan Zhan repeats, working the words around her mouth like she’s trying to make sense of them, “But you do like...me.”
“Yes! Lan Zhan I like you so much! And I would’ve asked you out sooner!” she shouts again, and then realizes where she’s led this conversation. The shame burns in her cheeks so she focuses on digging the tip of her shoe into the ground, “I would’ve asked you out, but I thought you were embarrassed to be seen with me.”
The words still taste bitter in her mouth, ache in her throat and burn her cheeks but she’s said them, they’re out in the open and now they can deal with them. She expects a scoff, maybe an eye roll. She does not expect two soft hands to cup her cheeks, forcing her to look up, rubbing soothing circles into the skin there.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan scolds, “Could never be embarrassed of you. Wei Ying is...Wei Ying is everything.”
“But you, you hid. From your brother and Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue, because you were,” her mouth twists uncomfortably at this, the memory of being abandoned in the cafe fresh enough to hurt her feelings, “because you were with me.”
“Ah,” Lan Zhan says, the tips of her ears turning red again. Good, Wei Ying thinks, We can be embarrassed together, “That was not...because of you, more like...about you.”
“Huh?”
“Brother is...he likes...” Lan Zhan trails off, letting one of her hands drop from Wei Ying’s cheek to her neck and Wei Ying is not about to let her get away just like that so she reaches out her own hand, grabbing onto Lan Zhan’s hip and dragging her closer. This seems to make Lan Zhan release all of her tension at once; a full body shudder goes through her as she dives into the crevice of Wei Ying’s neck, hiding there, safe, and mumbles something completely unintelligible.
“What was that, Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying asks, petting a single hand down Lan Zhan’s back through her hair and up again.
“Brother likes to tease,” Lan Zhan breathes into Wei Ying’s skin, one hand digging tight into Wei Ying’s ribcage, “He knows of my...feelings for you, if he had seen us at the cafe he would have, and Wei Ying I was sure you didn’t, there was no...reciprocation.”
“Ah, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, you hid because you didn’t want to get teased?” Wei Ying laughs, delighted, as she pulls back from Lan Zhan to get a good look at her, eyes sparkling, “Lan Zhan, that’s so cute.”
Lan Zhan dives back into her shoulder and bites in retaliation, muttering, “Wei Ying is cuter.”
Wei Ying lets her stay there for awhile, petting her hair and wiggling as close as she can get before finally asking, “Hey, you wanna get some food with me?”
Lan Zhan draws back to look over Wei Ying’s face and must like what she sees there because she smiles and presses a half kiss to the corner of Wei Ying’s mouth and nods her head, “Only if Wei Ying will be my girlfriend.”
“Aiyah, Lan Zhan, didn’t I already propose to you?” Wei Ying laughs, laughs even louder when Lan Zhan blushes again. She wags her finger in Lan Zhan’s face, trying her best to look stern, “Don’t think you can back out of our marriage so soon, wife.”
Lan Zhan bites her finger and keeps it there, warm between her teeth, only digging in harder at Wei Ying’s cry of indignation.
“Lan Zhan, you monster, you monster,” Wei Ying laughs, wiggling her finger still on the inside of Lan Zhan’s lips, “Hey, Lan Zhan, you should let go of my finger.”
“Hm.”
“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, I can’t kiss you with my finger in the way,” she whines, even as Lan Zhan lets go and moves forward, “Would you deprive your poor wife like this? I waited so long for you-”
Lan Zhan, it turns out, tastes like strawberry chapstick.
::
Four Months Later
Wei Ying wakes up warm and sated, a leg thrown over her waist, a hand slipped inside her shirt, resting casually against the skin of her back, a heavy body breathing softly, rhythmically against her chest.
The moon is still high in the night sky, washing the room in pale silver-white light, turning the skin on Lan Zhan’s neck into cream sheets, soft beneath Wei Ying’s touch. She’s breathing out little huffs of air, dampening the collar of Wei Ying’s sleep shirt but Wei Ying could never find it within herself to complain. Not when she gets this; Lan Wangji safe and content in her bed, never hesitant, never ashamed to pull Wei Ying into her chest and hold her there for hours. To hold Wei Ying as close as she can, like she’s something special. Something important.
Wei Ying still can eat sober pancakes, she muses as she rubs slow circles into Lan Zhan’s shoulder, thinking about what they’ll eat in the morning when Lan Zhan inevitably drags her out of bed way too early to be considered normal, seat her at their table still wrapped in a blanket, and feeds her warm foods and coffee.
There are other foods to be eaten though, a never ending list of things to be enjoyed with Lan Zhan right there beside her.
“Hey, Lan Zhan, I’m really glad you brought me pancakes,” Wei Ying whispers, dragging one of her legs up to slot nicely between Lan Zhan’s, “And I’m glad you make me eggs and congee and potatoes when I’m not drunk.”
Lan Zhan doesn’t reply to this, obviously, still huffing peacefully against Wei Ying’s chest. She starts again, rubbing circles into Lan Zhan’s back, “Hey, Lan Zhan, I’m glad you’re not embarrassed of me. I’m glad you let me kiss you even if your brother is around.”
She presses a kiss to the top of Lan Zhan’s head then rubs her nose against the hair there, still smelling fresh with shampoo.
“Hey, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying whispers to the ceiling, knowing it is well past Lan Zhan’s bedtime and she’s not usually one to sleep in fits and starts, “Lan Zhan, I love you.”
Lan Zhan’s face rubs against Wei Ying’s chest like a cat, lips catching on the fabric of Wei Ying’s shirt when she whispers back, “I love you too.”
(Wei Ying still gets drunk pancakes. She saves a minor fortune on never using the app again though; instead she lets Lan Zhan wrangle her into the passenger seat of her car, buckled in and safe, while Lan Zhan drives them to the local iHop. She lets Lan Zhan manhandle her into a booth and feed her bits of pancake and fruit, never too much, never enough to make her sick the way she would have had she been on her own. Lan Zhan always takes such good care of her; these pancakes taste better than any Wei Ying has ever had in her life.)
Coda:
“Hey, Lan Zhan, isn’t your family, like, rich?” Wei Ying asks, swinging their threaded hands in between them as they march to the nearest cafe, both of them glowing in the sunlight, happy, “Why were you running for DoorDash in the first place?”
“My family is well off,” Lan Zhan confirms politely, all while Wei Ying thinks to herself Yes, exactly what a rich person would say, “But there are things my Uncle does not approve of, and for that I prefer to use my own money so that he does not have a place to stand in telling me no.”
“Lan Zhan, how devious!” Wei Ying delights, leaning in to press an excited kiss to Lan Zhan’s cheek, “So what’d you get? Something cool? Dirty? Lavish? Tell me, Lan Zhan!”
“Bunnies,” Lan Zhan replies, cheeks speckled soft pink.
“Bunnies?” Wei Ying asks, head cocked to the side.
“Bunnies,” Lan Zhan confirms, nodding her head, “Uncle does not approve of pets but I approve of having bunnies and wanted two of my own.”
“Lan Zhan, stop, I’m going to die of cuteness,” Wei Ying whines, burying her face into Lan Zhan’s shoulder to moan more properly.
“Your repeat business helped to adopt them and purchase their housing,” Lan Zhan continues on because she is mean and has no sympathy for Wei Ying’s plight.
“Them? As in multiple?”
“Mm,” Lan Zhan nods, fishing her phone out of her pocket, “Their names are Fluffball and Pancake, would you like to see?”
“Would I like to, oh my god,” Wei Ying shouts, looking at a picture of Lan Zhan cuddled up with two rabbits, looking soft and content. One of them is snowy white, tail big and bushy, like a little snowball in and of itself. She guesses that one is Fluffball. The other is light brown, slightly bigger than the last and very, how does she nicely put this, round. That one must be Pancake. Wei Ying is absolutely not ready to guess the implication of the bunny being named Pancake. She is going to die, “Lan Zhan, I am going to die. You’re going to kill me. How are you so cute?”
“Wei Ying will be fine,” Lan Zhan reassures, placing a hand on the small of her back to lead Wei Ying along, “Promise to keep Wei Ying safe.”
“Lan Zhan!”
#wangxian#wei wuxian#wei ying#lan zhan#lan wangji#fem wangxian#rule 63#modern setting#wen qing#wen ning#jiang cheng#my writing#my fics#jiangchengrights
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Why I (Want To) Love Amphibia
Salutations random people on the internet who probably won't read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons. If you've been paying attention to my posts, you would have known that I made a top twenty list of the best-animated series of the 2010s. And if you read my Honorable Mentions list, you would have known that I consider Amphibia one of those shows that, while I like it, I wouldn't go so far as to say that it's one of the best. Don't get me wrong. It's good. But there are issues that I have with Amphibia, and I can't recommend it without being hesitant. I still like it fine, but I doubt some people will be as forgiving as me. So I'm going to explain the quality and faults that the show has, while still being considerate to those who do love it. Because unlike some people who would make a two-hour-long video essay about how much they hate something, I can at least acknowledge that while something doesn't entirely work for me, that doesn't mean it won't work for everyone else. Because there is a reason why this show has such a following...I don't think it's earned, but I won't knock people down when they love something I find passable. And I hope that respect goes both ways as I explain why I (want to) love Amphibia.
Also, this review is going to contain spoilers for the entire series. So if you haven't checked it out yet, I recommend you do it to form your own opinion. Season one is on Disney+, and you're on your own for season two. And I suggest you find a legal way to watch it if you can, because I'm not going to leave a link to a pirating website filled with every animated series and movie you can find. And I'm definitely not going to insert that link into a random letter in this review with the thought that if you have to pirate something, then you might as well work for it. Because that would be crazy.
...
Stop being crazy.
....
Anywho, let's start with:
WHAT I LIKE
The Comedy: Let it be known that this show is funny. Like, really funny. I wouldn't go so far as to say that it's funnier than Gravity Falls, which got me chuckling with every episode, but Amphibia definitely hits more than it misses. There are occasions when the jokes aren't really character-oriented and could be said by anybody in the Plantar Family, but if they're still funny, then who am I to complain. Although there is one issue that I have with the comedy. But I'll save that for when I talk about what I don't like. For now, I can assure you that if you're hoping for some laughs, Amphibia has plenty to offer.
Warnings Against Toxic Relationships: But even the best comedies know when to offer some substance. Because I won't lie, when Anne described what is clearly a toxic friendship in the second episode, I was hooked. I love it when kids shows breach topics that can be important for children down the line. And for the most part, I think Amphibia does it well. There are so many instances that the writers' point out the several red flags that a person should avoid when it comes to a friendship and when it's time to either cut that person from your life and stand up for yourself. One of my favorite episodes is "Prison Break," where Sasha explains how she manipulates people and shows zero remorse for it. Then there's the episode "The Sleepover to End All Sleepovers" that shows how a person's influence can affect others and how much it changes perception as Anne and Marcy still believe they need someone like Sasha in their lives...At least I hope that's what the intention is. Because if the writers are trying to say that Anne and Marcy really need someone like Sasha...Well, I'll save that for my dislikes. Because even though it could use a little polishing, warning kids about toxic relationships is what keeps me hooked into seeing what happens next in this series.
It’s Not Afraid to go Dark: On top of breaking borders with morals intended for kids, I just gotta respect a show for playing around with what's considered "too dark." Especially if that show is on the Disney Channel!
The writers are not afraid to imply that death happens in the world of Amphibia, primarily because it is like a swamp ecosystem filled with predators and food chains. And I feel like because the characters are mostly amphibians, the writers can get away with an entire cave filled with the bones of victims as long as they're not humans. But frogs? No one gives a crap about them. There's a reason they're the ones who get dissected in schools.
Plus, a good majority of the monsters that Anne and the Plantars face are pretty horrifying at times. The crew who work on the show do a great job balancing the line of making these creatures look scary, but never go too far that they'll scar kids for life. Except in the Halloween special...How the f**k did they get away with the monsters in the Halloween special? And while they don't ever show what these monsters do, the implications honestly make things much worse, which again, I kind of respect. It's good to have shows like Amphibia that can scare kids a little bit. Getting through something fictitiously dark helps make kids feel braver and prepare them for the real horrors in the world. Especially since most of these creatures are just exaggerated versions of real-life predators...google them.
The Season One Finale: It was "Reunion" that made me realize that Amphibia has the potential to be amazing...it's also the last episode of season one, so let that sink in.
Joking aside, I honestly do love this episode. It's funny, it brings in elements from other episodes, nearly everybody does something useful, and it all ends with a satisfying and equally gut-wrenching climax. A climax, by the way, that is so perfect that I'm going to do a scene breakdown for why it's so good...so, you know, add that to the to-do list (I have so much s**t to make -_-). "Reunion" has so many elements about what makes a season finale so good that I feel like future writers should take notes for their own series that they plan to make. While I wish every episode of Amphibia had this level of quality, the writers know that the last impression is one of the most important. Because I will defend this show if this is the episode people use to trash it.
Marcy: I will also defend this show if someone trashes Marcy. Trust me, the best way to tell that someone is just hating on Amphibia for little to no reason is if they utter the word, "Marcy is a bad character." That is not true. Marcy is a great character, and I'd go so far as to say she's the best character in the series. She's sweet, adorable, and has a story ten times more interesting than Anne's. Anne learns what a sincere relationship is like through the Plantars, where Marcy falls victim to another manipulative relationship through King Andreas. It's her co-dependency that has the chance to get fleshed out more, and I can't wait to see if she has a moment to break out and form her own path.
Also, in the mass expanse of the multiverse, there exists a world where Amphibia is about the adventures that Marcy had in Newtopia as she uses Dungeons and Dragons logic to get by. And I want to see that universe! Because this clumsy nerd is already a blast to watch with the briefest of cameos. Imagine how much fun she would be if she had her own series!
Sprig: I don't know how much love Sprig gets within the fandom, but I got a feeling that it's not enough. He's funny without being annoying (most of the time), there's a whole lot of heart and sincerity to his actions, and above all else, he's the best friend that Anne needed. When Anne explained her very flawed views about friendship in "Best Fronds," it is clear how essential someone like Sprig is as he teaches Anne what friendship really means. It means caring for each other, supporting each other, making equal sacrifices for one another, and just being on the same page as each other. It is genuinely sweet seeing their friendship bloom, and I honestly hope the Amphibia fandom gives Sprig the amount of appreciation he deserves. Sure, he can be annoying sometimes, but for the most part, he's easily up there as one of my favorite characters.
Wally: Same with Wally! Who would have guessed that a character who appears as an dumb source of comic relief has a level of depth and lovability to him? "Wally and Anne" shows that while he is a nonsensical goofball, he doesn't really care what the frogs of Wartwood think of him. What matters is what he thinks of him. And that is just an incredible lesson to teach kids that just makes me love Wally more.
(It also helps that he's probably the funniest character in the show. I know I said that he's dumb, but when he works, he works.)
Kermit the Frog Cameo: ...It's Kermit the Frog, y'all. I physically can't hate him. Especially since this is the perfect show for him to make a cameo in!
WHAT I DON’T LIKE
Anne’s Character: I don't have a problem with Anne. I think she's a serviceable protagonist, and I love the fact that she's Thai, offering a form of Asian representation other than Chinese, Japanese, or Korean. But here's the problem with Anne: After a season and a half, I still don't know what her character is. If you were to ask me to describe a Disney show protagonist within one sentence, I could do it effortlessly. Watch:
Star Butterfly: An adrenaline junky of a warrior princess who slowly learns to be responsible with each passing season.
Luz Noceda: A generous nerd that obsesses about fantasy and fiction, who still understands when to take a step in reality when the moment calls for it.
Scrooge McDuck: An old Scottish miser who has the heart of adventure and is a duck that almost loves his family as he loves his money.
For Anne, I don't know where to start because her personality is so inconsistent. Sometimes she makes friends with others without even trying, and other times, she gets on others' nerves easily. Sometimes she's a thrillseeker with the heart of adventure, and other times, she's a person who prefers to hang back and avoid doing work. And sometimes she's the only sane character with logical advice, and other times she's the most insane character who needs advice. Now, you could argue that these are all character traits that make Anne multidimensional. But if you ask me, it seems like her personality is dependent on what the writers want her to be for the episode. Someone like Luz going back and forth between two traits only works if there is a dominant personality trait that takes over the other. If Luz spends an entire episode being angry and serious, it proves that there's more to her than just a character that's nerdy and optimistic. But it's clear she is still that lovable nerd by having her say a corny line like, "Talk to the glyphs, Witch!" But because Anne has so many personality traits, it's hard to tell which is the norm and what is out of character. Case in point: Having Anne obsess over hang-gliding in one episode and doing a puzzle in the next is off as neither correlates with each other. Nor do they tell me who Anne is, other than the fact that she's clearly a character lacking a singular identity. And seeing how she's the main character, the one audiences are supposed to root for and identify with, it's probably not a good thing.
The Story: For the record, I have no problems with the story itself...the way it's written, however...
First off, there's too much filler. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, as filler episodes have the potential to be fun when written well. The problem is that relying on filler instead of telling your story can leave some people (me) uninterested and angry. And the thing is, there is a perfect way to avoid filler that doesn't involve telling the overarching narrative: Introduce personal plotlines. Look at The Owl House, for example. There are several character-oriented narrative threads that get introduced within the first few episodes. Such as Luz learning magic, Eda's curse, her relationship with Lilith, and Amity's redemption. Therefore, The Owl House avoids any filler episodes just as long as it focuses on any of these plotlines and even introduces new ones. Amphibia has the plotlines, but it rarely focuses on them. Especially since the story takes way too long to develop.
Every time I think the show is finally going to start moving forward and we can continue the story, there are like ten more filler episodes where everything comes to a screeching halt. Now, to be fair, there is an explanation why we're forced to wait for the story to move forward, and it's because the characters are forced to wait as well. But, even then, there could have been better ways to pad out that waiting than just adding filler. For example, I may not have been forced into an alternate universe where nearly everything wants to kill me, but if I was, I WOULD SPEND EVERY WAKING MINUTE I HAVE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY BACK! In the first season, how many episodes does Anne spend trying to figure out the mystery of how she got there and how to go home? Two. There are two whole episodes, out of thirty-nine, where Anne tries to figure things out...That is insane to me. But to be fair, season two is doing a much better job at moving things along...but it doesn't change the fact that the writers are kind of bad at telling their own story.
There are two episodes, "Anne Vs. Wild" and "Lost in Newtopia," where the story continues, but it's only in the last few minutes. The problem is that if you take those endings out, the episodes themselves do not change a bit. BUT because those are significant and essential moments for the plot, you can't take them out. Resulting in scenes that, while intriguing, come across as awkward in the long run. So now, my question is why. Why is the story handled so poorly? And I have one theory.
It Feels Like the Writers Can’t Decide What they Want the Show to be: Sometimes it seems like Amphibia is written as a pure slice of life series like Big City Greens. However, there are times when the show seems like it's intended to mix slice of life with fantasy like Gravity Falls. Now here's the problem: Big City Greens and Gravity Falls are two very different shows in terms of storytelling, tone, and character work. Big City Greens is an episodic comedy series where character development is unimportant, and the adventures rarely go beyond just being wacky. As for Gravity Falls, it is a show that is semi-serialized where the character development is constant, and the fantasy-adventures are always prevalent in every episode. And there are several episodes of Amphibia that could be a part of either show. Episodes like "Stakeout," "Lily Pad Thai," and "Little Frog Town" have plots that I can see being in Big City Greens. Then there are episodes like "The Domino Effect," "Toad Tax," and "Marcy at the Gates" that I could see being in Gravity Falls. These two groups of episodes are vastly different from one another that it causes Amphibia to feel disjointed in the process. Usually, I'm a fan when a series mixes different genres together, but do you want to know why something like Gravity Falls does such a great job at mixing slice of life with fantasy-adventure? Because, as I said, fantasy-adventures are always present in every episode. "Dipper vs. Manliness," "Boss Mabel," and "Roadside Attraction" each have the most basic slice of life plots of the show, but there is always a fantasy element or a monster to fight. There are entire episodes of Amphibia where there is no monster, and even when there is, it doesn't have the same amount of tension and weight that the creatures in Gravity Falls have weekly. A show like Big City Greens doesn't have to worry about monsters or evil villains every week because it doesn't need to. It's a show about the wacky adventures of a family of farmers adjusting to city life. Why would they have to worry about a monster every week when they just have to worry about each other. If Amphibia was the same way then there would be no issue. But because if it wants to be a mix of slice of life with fantasy, then it does need to worry about a monster every week. I usually try to defend shows that try to play both sides, but this show has to be the one occasion where I have to say pick one or the other. Because the writers tried hard to be both, and personally, I don't think they did a good job.
Characters Don’t. Stop. SCREAMING!: It's here we move on from what's objectively wrong with Amphibia to the things that just bother me personally...and this is one of those things. I get it. An over-the-top reaction to something minimal can be funny on occasion...but it's never "on occasion" with this show. Nearly every episode has characters screaming to get a laugh, and most of the time, it's more annoying than it is funny. It's Hop Pop who does this the most, and I just feel so bad for Bill Farmer. That voice already seems like it's hard to do, so being forced to scream and yell with it for the sake of comedy can't do him any favors. Other shows, especially ones on the Disney Channel, have characters overreact for the sake of humor, but it's Amphibia that I feel like it relies on this the most. I'm sure some people aren't bothered by this, but I am, and this is my review, so I'm mentioning it.
Poly: Speaking of things that probably don't bother other people...I feel like I'm making some enemies with this one. Because, boy, do I not like Polly. Her voice is annoying, she mostly causes problems for the family, and to me, her entire character seems pointless. No, really. Think about it. Anne is the main character, Sprigs acts as her emotional support, and Hop Pop acts as the voice of reason. What's Polly's purpose? Because all she adds are unnecessary jokes, character traits that could have gone to anybody, and acting more as a plot device than an actual character. The only justification for her that I can think of is that she adds gender balance to the main cast. Which would be more than acceptable if there was a point to her existence. But I think it's pretty evident with her exclusion from the original pilot pitch for the program that Polly's personality is practically pointless...that is most likely the only alliteration I'll ever do for a review, so you have better appreciated it.
If you like Polly, then more power to you. For me, I just don't enjoy her.
Sasha: Oh, nelly. I can already see the hateful messages I'm gonna get from this.
Now, as a character, I actually do like Sasha. I think her personality is interesting enough to dissect, and I think she acts as a perfect antagonist to Anne, the Plantars, and even Marcy if you want to get into it. My problem relies on how much the fanbase is already jumping on the "Forgive Sasha" train. Because, "Aw, she's just like Catra and Amity! So sweet, tortured, shippable with the main character, and--" STOP IT! Stop it right now...and think. With Catra and Amity, you see the environment they grew up in, you feel the abuse they deal with, you understand the reasoning of their actions, and you come to forgive them for who they are...At least for Amity, you can. For Catra, it requires more of an argument. But Sasha? Did we see the same cruel mistreatment to her friends? Did we hear the same coldness in her voice as she describes how to manipulate people? Did we witness the same damage she's done to Anne and Marcy in how they perceive healthy relationships? Apparently not! Because while everyone else is already on the same page that Sasha deserves redemption, I'm sitting here thinking that maybe it's for the best to be a little more hesitant. So far, we have yet to see any way to understand her reasoning and have yet to see how she deserves forgiveness. Sure, Sasha was willing to sacrifice herself for Anne, but did Sasha really earn that? It works as a sudden realization that Anne deserves better, but Sasha has yet to do anything that proves she can be better. Especially since the next time we see her, she's trying to help a fascist ruler get back up on his feet...THINK ABOUT THAT!
But, sure, she's meant to be forgiven. That can work. Because while Sasha shows kids the type of people they should avoid, she can also work as a warning for what kids should avoid becoming. That is a great thing to teach...but it can also be potentially dangerous. Because if incorrectly interpreted, Sasha can show kids that every person who seems toxic just needs a chance to change. And that is the last thing you want to teach, given how very few toxic people actually change. You want to know why The Owl House gets away with an equally dangerous lesson about how not every bully is awful? It's because it shows two sides of the spectrum by proving why someone like Amity did the things she's done while also saying that characters like Boscha and Mattholomule are just a-holes for the sake of being a-holes. Sasha has no one to compare to. Sure, there's King Andreas, but he's a government figure. They're built to be manipulative. Sasha needs someone that's on her level of cruelty to prove that while some people can change and have reason to do so, others don't. And seeing how I don't think she deserves to change, at least not yet, that is an issue. It's the biggest issue out of all the issues I have with this show.
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So, yeah, I think it's pretty evident how I feel about Amphibia when I can write paragraphs about the stuff I don't like while barely being able to talk about the things I do like. Because I do enjoy this show. It's funny, most of the characters are enjoyable, and its discussion on toxic relationships still has me hooked to see what happens next. My issue lies with inconsistency. The main protagonist, storytelling, genre, and thematic purposes are all inconsistent. I'm interested enough to watch more, and who knows, maybe I'll make a final verdict review once the series comes to an end. For now, if you had to ask me what I’m excited to make a return, I don't know if I'll be willing to hop to it by saying Amphibia.
(Also, if you're still looking for that link for that pirating website I mentioned, now would probably be a good time to tell you that I really never did put one in. I told you, that would be crazy...That should teach you to try to break the law.)
#amphibia#what i thought about#why i want to love#anne boonchuy#sasha waybright#marcy wu#sprig plantar#polly plantar
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Halloween Special: The Shut-In!
So, this episode is SUPPOSED to be canon, I believe? Or the idea is that within the episode itself, the events take place after the Plantars return to Wartwood, but otherwise it isn’t canon? I’m not sure, I’ll have to go check. Either way…
This was a REALLY fun, and surprisingly freaky episode, especially towards the end! I love the darker, pragmatic take on Halloween for Amphibia, and how the holiday is interpreted in this world as more of a doomsday preparation sort of thing, this show’s worldbuilding is always so fun. Let me tell you, I lost my mind when I saw human Sprig, Polly, Maddie, and Toadie! Is the implication that Toadie is actually, like, around the kids’ ages this entire time? That makes people shipping him and Mayor Toadstool, uh… VERY, er… But at the same time, I can see why everyone thought he was an adult- So an honest mistake and thus no harm done! And come to think of it, Polly seems to be about the same age as Sprig here. So, the ages may not necessarily match… But then come to think of it, it IS weird that the writers/animators chose to give Toadie a humansona, and not say, Ivy! Actually, Toadie is rather minor and feels oddly specific considering who else was excluded, so I have to wonder if there was some particular reason for this, of if the writers just felt like it?
Anyhow, the humanized versions of our frog friends are adorable, Sprig and Polly are gingers, no surprise there, and the bucket over Polly’s foot is so cute! I love how Anne didn’t even TRY to change who she was, she legit just tied up her hair and that’s it. Her story was a fun premise, and I expected the video to actually be a jumpscare that pulls in its victims at the last moment. And I mean, sort of? It definitely takes a while for that Video Cat demon thing to arrive… But I loved Anne in this bit, how she’s so smug and proud of herself and really doesn’t want to care what others say about her skills, you go girl! You go write dialogue! And I just realized, but this is possibly the closest look we have to Anne’s actual home and bedroom, assuming things haven’t been changed up all that much in the ‘bootleg’ translation… So F-Annes, analyze!
That Video Cat being unable to take criticism and literally dying to it is a mood. Also, either its eggs ARE boba, and/or they just taste like it… Either way, keep in mind that Molly legit took a huge bite out of one. Then again, more feral things have happened in Amphibia and ESPECIALLY with Polly, so I guess I’m not too shocked- Look at Anne, she wanted to eat that monster crab that almost killed Sylvia way back when! Are those cats invincible because they’re bound to no videos, or are they subject to regular criticism in general… Can they also be physically killed as well?
WHY am I even asking, when we know this isn’t canon whatsoever and is never going to come up again!? Anne insists that this happened to her phone specifically, so I guess the gag is that the phone had a previous owner named Anna, etc…. Still, while it’s funny how Anne just gets away with completely making up a story, I do have to wonder if it’s like. Allegorical to a real-life experience. Probably not, given the presence of humanized Sprig, Polly, Maddie, and Toadie… Unless Anne is recounting something that happened in Amphibia, but then Sprig and Polly would’ve recognized what Anne is alluding to, given how they remembered those other past adventures (which was a hilarious gag that I felt nostalgic to recognize). I’m probably just overthinking it.
Then, we’ve got Hop Pop’s story! He had LUSCIOUS locks, and he met the Grim Reaper- Again, allegedly. Not gonna lie I assumed that dude was Frog Lucifer or something, but this is kind of better? Either way that was pretty dark, and I love the implication that the Grim Reaper legit went out of his way to steal some rando’s hair. Poor Hop Pop, he never got his hair back! Are we going to call this canon? Does this confirm the presence of a Frog Grim Reaper?
(Side-note, I feel bad for Wally! Imagine being born on a day where everyone has to be holed up lest they turn into Were-Amphibians! That must’ve been quite the scandal for the Ribbiton family, I have to wonder if this influenced his decision to go out and live his own life with how lonely Wally was…)
Then we have Sprig’s story! I’m so happy to see Ivy again, I never realized how much I missed her and her adorable design, and her hair is so cute! Kind of reminds me of Anne with how wild it is, I want to see a one-shot of Anne bonding with Ivy over their messy hair now. I really appreciate that gag of Sprig realizing what Ivy’s about to say, about how everyone has knitting needles, and Ivy breaking down that door without remorse. This story was my favorite, not just for the comedy, but also…
DANG, that was legitimately terrifying?!When I saw those slimy frog skins, knowing those were actual people, with Hop Pop even suggesting one of them could’ve been Gary… and YIKES, what happens to the flayed bodies?!? Legit I freaked out when I saw the Seamstress, this was straight-up Leather Face, the show wasn’t even trying to be subtleor dodge around it, those were actual people skins! This was some Wartwood Chainsaw Massacre…! Seeing all of those hanging skins and faces gave me the heebie-jeebies, I didn’t expect the show to go THIS far, and while I’m impressed and glad it managed to freak me out, still! That build up to the reveal of Ivy literally ripping off that ‘face’, us seeing a glimpse of the Seamstress before her skins fall off, and it looks like she lacks any skin entirely, and that’s why she wears others’!
Only, she DOES have skin, it’s just clear- Fun fact, I watched this with my brother and he immediately recognized the Seamstress as a Glass Frog, by name, before Sprig did! I think it was a neat gag how for Sprig, he immediately calms down because for Amphibians, Glass Frogs are a somewhat normal and non-supernatural facet of life, relatively speaking. For us humans, well, it reminds me of this one myth about a woman whose head can rise from her body, unveiling her organs…
I THOUGHT the episode was going to go the sweet route, even as I joked that the Seamstress still, y’know, KILLED people. And like Apothecary Gary, the show remembered this and we legit had the Seamstress burn to death in a classic horror movie finale, and I yelled when she made one last stand to grab Ivy by the leg and bite her! I get that there’s meant to be an allegory between Ivy not appreciating her own hair, and the Seamstress not appreciating her own skin, body positivity and all that- But mostly I was too freaked out to appreciate it. Ivy waddling around blindly in present-time was adorable, though.
And, Polly! I LOVE the sort of lesson, the realization that her being gone was scarier than ANY story they’d heard that night (probably because this was real, at least I assume the other stories were fake but regardless). We get our twist of Polly turning into a Were-Tadpole, and then anticlimactically reacting while the others lose their minds as noises of ruckus are heard, implying that Polly immediately went feral afterwards, or the others just made a mess as they freaked out! Also, love the twist on the ending credits, that’s delightfully morbid…
All in all, this was a great episode! Surprisingly scary, and definitely hilarious- It’s a much-needed break from this Amphibia hiatus, especially now that I’m also dealing with the hiatus for The Owl House and Infinity Train (the latter of whom may be permanent PLEASE watch the show on HBO Max), and Kipo’s ending. I do have Carmen Sandiego’s third season to watch, though. I wonder if there’s any speculation to be gleaned from the Blue Moon turning people into monsters, and how that can connect to Blue Energy for the Calamity Box relating to the virtue of Heart. Does the Blue Moon turn people into a monstrous form that reflects the darker sides/fears of their heart? I’m probably overthinking it. Either way, I’m really glad we got a classic Holiday Episode for this show- I always love those, ESPECIALLY Halloween ones!
#amphibia#halloween#amphibia anne#anne boonchuy#amphibia hop pop#hopediah plantar#amphibia sprig#sprig plantar#amphibia polly#polly plantar#amphibia ivy
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Are there any horror movies you'd rec to someone who usually doesn't watch horror, but wants to get into it?
OOOO yeah!!! 😓 i feel like i was asked this before but i can't find it so let's see:
it really depends on how much you can take tho! like gore is a big thing to take into account and if you're not into gore or something like blood and guts makes you squeamish, then that counts out entire genres of horror. then you'll need to figure out if you like slow burns or psychological horrors 🤔 and it's very easy to say horror is haunting, but even paranormal stuff can't click for some people.
modern horrors and stuff from say, the 80s are VERY different in style too. and i can't tell if you're into mindless slashers or something kinda deeper.
that's said, it's pretty easy to get into horror movies!!! what i like isn't everyone's cup of tea but hopefully you find something:
👻 the conjuring universe: (aka the conjuring, the conjuring 2, the nun, annabelle, annabelle creation, annabelle comes home, the curse of la llorona) → possession, ghosts, jumpscares, demons, exorcisms... movies vary in quality and scariness but feel free to watch them in chronological order or release order
👽 alien franchise (there's 6 of them) → self explanatory (aliens lol) but DEFINITELY check warnings if u worry about something
🐺 teen wolf (1985) → what the show is based off, werewolf 80s nonsense. it's fun stuff... think, thriller music video 💀
🧩 escape room (2019) → diverse cast, might be more thriller tbh, going into it you know exactly what's going to happen. there's a very bad flashing scene. this movie isn't very notable but i think it's pretty representative of where modern horror is heading
🌲 cabin in the woods → satire but not like scary movie comedy, has.. every horror trope 💀 i always forget chris hemsworth was in this 💀
🔞 it follows → not everyone likes it, but i do, it's more psychological
🔪 nightmare on elm street series → i only recommend the first two but it's SOOO funny to me. the remake is scarier but i do not rec that... slasher, blood, cheesy gore
🧏♀️ hush → protag is not stupid which is refreshing and u just want her to survive so much, deaf protag, slasher
🐍 piranhaconda → this is fucking hilarious and leads to the whole genre of like, giant animals and stuff 💀 like, sharknado, snakes on a plane, arachnophobia... gore, cheesy cgi
👧 the exorcist (1973) → classic!!!! it really started the genre of exorcisms imo 💕 a must-see
clearly, i can not capture all of horror and i ignored thrillers like silence of the lambs or literally any alfred hitchcock movie, but i like flashier things 😌 hereditary is one of my favorite movies but i don't think i would give it to someone starting out with horror. personally i don't care for the 90s era, for example, but other people do, so you should def do ur own research!!!
and i will say that trailers can give you a good idea of a movie, but not all trailers are made equal. sometimes it's easy to tell when the scariest scenes are in the trailer, but also the trailers can be VERY misleading in other movies.
and of course, here are some others i like lol, it's changed a little since then but i think there are solid movies here, especially for more modern ones
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Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.23
Keith had been had. Lance had slipped out of talking to him by making him flustered, then they’d put a totally dumb movie on... and the stupid night had slipped away before he knew what was happening. Lance was infuriatingly relaxed. He’d laughed at the big pieces of garlic on the pizza, complimented him for not being a bad first timer in a weird way that made Keith’s heart go weird, then started making fun of the horror comedy they were watching. There was some name for the genre that Lance had used, it wasn’t comor, or hormedy, but it was something as equally stupid sounding. After half a dozen drinks it’d sounded good enough to laugh at. Now Keith was laying in bed, hiding himself away from Lance. He’d been aiming to get Lance’s guard down, not his own... What even was last night? And what the heck was Lance doing making so much noise too early in the morning? How was he supposed to ignore his existence when Lance sounded like he was demolishing the house? What happened to getting up and sneaking into his office for his morning meal? And why was keith trying to do the brain without the coffee? He couldn’t brain without the coffee.
Shuffling into the kitchen, Keith grimaced at the noise. Hunk was talking a million miles an hour as he blended something, Pidge sitting at the kitchen table with her knees up and laptop in front of her
“Hey, man! I’m making breakfast smoothies! Do you want one?!”
Yelling over the blender, Hunk’s stupid face was smiling too much... that was mean. Hunk was alright, but too much smile in the morning was weird
“Coffee...”
Lance was already working the coffee machine, Keith frowning as he noticed the way Lance’s hands were shaking
“Way ahead of you. Sit down and I’ll bring a cup over. Don’t disturb the gremlin, she’s extra cranky this morning”
Keith was perfectly fine avoiding a cranky Pidge, carefully taking Lance’s usual seat, lest he bump the table and set the gremlin off
“Get fucked”
Keith raised an eyebrow, not sure who the comment was directed at
“Fucking piece of shit!”
The laptop? It had to be directed at the laptop... right? Shuffling over to him, Keith eyed Lance. He looked like he should still be in bed, most of the coffee in Keith’s cup was now pooling on the saucer under it
“Sorry... here we go”
As Lance set the coffee down, he winced at the minute amount of sound it made. Catching Lance by the wrist, the vampire cringed, Keith staring up at his unwell face
“Lance? Have you fed this morning?”
“Couldn’t... Company”
An unfed vampire wasn’t safe... Not that he was worried about how ill Lance looked... or felt strangely concerned about his wellbeing. That was the lack of coffee talking
“Go feed, I’ll cover you”
“But...”
“Just go already. You’re disturbing my coffee”
Lance stumbled over his own feet as he shuffled off. Keith staring at his half empty coffee cup sadly. What a waste of coffee... Fuck being socially polite. Lifting the cup off the unmatching saucer, something very unLance, further proving how bad he must feel because everything always had to match, Keith poured the other half his coffee back into his cup as Hunk cut the blender. The lack of sound was welcoming. Grinning, Hunk went to turn to Lance
“Here... huh... where’d he go?”
Pidge grunted, Keith trying to get the coffee in the cup when it insisted on running down the side and under the saucer
“Keith?”
“Just a... fuck”
Fuck all coffee wound up in his mug, Pidge snickered as Keith frowned deeply
“Keith?”
“He had to check his work phone”
“Oh, maybe I should take this down to his office... it’s best if he drinks its right away”
“No! No, ugh. We had a late night...”
That wasn’t how Keith wanted it to sound. Pidge closed her laptop, but her and Hunk giving him a funny look
“What?”
“You two had a late night, hmm?”
“Not like that”
“Not like, what?”
Keith groaned. He should have kept his mouth shut
“Shut up”
Pidge poked her tongue at him. All Keith wanted was his coffee. Pouring out the strangely green smoothly, Hunk smiled at him
“Man, if there’s something going on between you and Lance...”
“No”
Cackling, Pidge wasn’t having it
“Me thinks he denies too fast”
“Me thinks I need my coffee”
Keith died a little on the inside. Who the hell was he? He didn’t talk like that
“Keith and Lance...”
“Sitting in a tree?”
Hunk didn’t sound sure about continuing Pidge’s teasing
“Look, it’s not like that. He’s a friend. I’m just worried about him...”
Oh. Fuck.
Pidge grinned at him so widely that she surely thought she was right with her line of teasing. Hunk, on the other hand, lost his smile
“Something’s wrong with him, isn’t it? He said it was Miriam. Was he having tests? Is that why he wasn’t responding? He’s been acting really weird for the last few weeks”
“He’s acting weird because he’s been hiding his boyfriend”
“Pidge, you know what I’m talking about. He like never leaves without letting us know”
Raising the cup of coffee to his lips, Keith was so close...
“Keith, what’s going on with Lance?”
Why did people have to think he could human before his coffee? It was cruel and inhumane to bully him like this. Lowering his cup slightly, Keith sighed
“Lance is fine. We’re not dating. My stupid brother took off and thinks being here will be good for me. Shiro has like no chill, as you should know Pidge. Miriam had a really bad fall, broken hip and messed up her face. He was organising things in Platt”
It was on the tip of Keith’s tongue to mention that Luis had been there, but he didn’t know what Lance had told his two best friends in relation to his family, outside of Miriam being his grandmother.
“And he didn’t have another doctor’s appointment?”
By “doctor’s appointment” Keith assumed that was Lance speak for a visit to Coran. The previous days talk with Coran felt like it’d happened weeks ago
“Nah. I mean, I wouldn’t know. He does his own thing”
“He always has. We totally tried to have him move in with us when we were in Platt, but he wasn’t having it. He’s always been a bit odd”
“And here I thought you guys were best friends?”
“We are. He’s our odd best friend. And you’re our new odder best friend. We totally decided that in group chat”
Keith didn’t know what to make of that
“You talk about me?”
“Only to tease Lance. You do know you’re like the first person he has ever like warmed up to like this. That’s why we were sure you two were secretly dating”
“Oh, we totally are. Keith’s dick game is totally on point”
With his coffee cup heading back towards his lips, Keith was glad he didn’t have a mouthful or it’d have been sprayed across the table at Lance’s casual remark
“Lance!”
“What? You’re a total dick and you know it”
The bastard vampire shot him finger guns as Keith’s heart decided it needed to keep racing from Lance’s comment. Pidge cackled with laughter
“Oh, man. If I wasn’t convinced before, I am now. You should have seen the look on your face!”
Being a total arsehole, Lance placed his hand on Keith’s shoulder
“Did you tell them all about us, baby cakes?”
Keith growled. Why the fuck had ever been worried about this dick?
“Keep touching me and I’ll break your hand”
“Look at them, Hunk! Okay. So you’re like weird room mates...”
“Yep. For now. At least until I paint the house”
“Have you thought of a colour scheme yet?”
“I was thinking of going full ‘70’s. Shag pike carpet, lots of mismatched prints...”
Why was Lance’s hand still on his shoulder? And why was Keith now hyper focused on the fact Lance was touching him? He didn’t like it. He didn’t like Lance. He didn’t like the way he felt all weird since coming to the house... Something was definitely wrong with his heart, it kept racing for no good reason
“You do that and you’re dead to me”
“If I’d known that, I would have done it sooner”
“That enough you two. Here, I made you a smoothie. It’s chocked full of the good stuff”
Lance finally removed his hand from Keith’s shoulder. The idiot walking into the dining chair in front of him. Maybe Lance had been using him for support, and there was no greater meaning to it? Shiro did say he had the tendency to over think things...
“God, you’re worse than me. Sit down before you break your whole house”
Lance took a seat next to Pidge
“Better?”
“Much”
“You’re not as cranky”
“And you don’t look as dead”
Pidge wasn’t seeing Lance the way Keith was. Lance had a little more colour in his face, but there was pain in the corner of his eyes
“Damn, I was hoping to be the best looking dead guy in town. I take it you got their number plate?”
“I got more than their number plate. I got their home address and two dozen eggs that’d look great splattered across their windows”
“Pidgeon, that’s not my field of expertise”
“Then they shouldn’t have sideswiped my car”
So that was what Pidge had been so cranky... her anger hadn’t been directed at him
“No, but violence only leads to more violence”
“That’s why I’m egging their house and not punching them in the face. Hunk, help me out here”
Hunk placed the glass of smoothie in front of Lance who wrinkled his nose at it
“I’m kind of with Lance here. Besides, I already helped you out, dad’s organising the repairs as we speak”
“Merp”
“Merp to you too. Hunk, do I wanna know what’s in this?”
“Nope. Drink it all fast”
“I hate it when you say that”
As Lance drank his smoothie, Keith settled back in his chair, finally able to enjoy his first, half empty, cold, sad looking coffee.
*
Lance was not having a fun day. He’d had a very, very, very vivid dream. A very, very, very vivid dream about bending a very, very, very emo vampire hunter over his kitchen table... He’d woken up feeling strange, waking up secondary to the lower parts of his anatomy that’d apparently had a pretty good time without his permission. Washing his underwear had been a lesson in humiliation, the only consolation being he had his own private bathroom. His dream had been way too vivid, like waaaaaay to vivid to the point he swore he could feel Keith on his skin... and after showering, he just felt deflated. Like he was running on a third of his strength. Weak and shaky, worse than he had the day before. He’d barely been out the shower five minutes before Hunk was calling to say they were on their way, and Pidge was pissed.
Trying to choose something to wear had been a struggle, by the time he’d done that, he could hear Hunk’s car coming, his stupid senses deciding he needed to hyper aware. He hadn’t had time to feed, nor to prewarn Keith, or get his shit together because how he was supposed to face Keith. He felt as if he’d violated the man by dreaming about him... Especially when he kind of wanted to reverse the positions... He was a goddamn pervert... Keith wasn’t... they hadn’t... He hadn’t been horrible company the night before. He’d tried to press him for information, but couldn’t a guy just relax and eat some bad pizza in peace? Not that the pizza had been bad... Keith didn’t know better when it came to a pizza drowning in toppings.
When Hunk started the blender Lance had felt as if his brain was in their with the other half dozen ingredients. Pidge was murderous, someone having sideswiped her car during the early hours of the morning. She’d spent the morning reviewing the security feed from the front of her house... Lance not quite able to find the right time to slip out the kitchen and drain a blood bag like his body was telling him he needed to do. He hadn’t thought Keith would see how poorly he felt, his hands were shaking as he tried to banish the thoughts of his unwanted dream. He felt like he should be apologising repeatedly and begging not to be decapitated for betray him like this.
Then Keith had gone and been even nicer, sending to feed while he babysat Pidge and Hunk. Lance had nearly torn the blood bag in half in his rush to feed. Coran had said “changes”, not damn dreams like he was a teenager again. They’d had a bonding moment watching TV. Keith was pretty funny when he wasn’t trying to murder him, or being stupider than words could describe. His taste in movies really was as bad a Pidge’s, the pair would be an unstoppable remote hogging pair if they teamed up. Keith just... He’d opened up somewhat, awkward with Pidge and Hunk, but not as awkward as he’d been. He talked. He covered for Lance over what had happened in Platt. He’d covered for him a lot, and Lance didn’t know why he was going that little bit extra to keep Hunk and Pidge from worrying.
“Dude, I’m surprised your kitchen’s this messy. Normally you’re a clean freak in here”
As Lance recovered from the horrible green sludge he’d choked down for Hunk’s benefit, he was almost envious that Pidge had missed out. He’d take a dirty kitchen over that smoothie any day of the year
“Keith made pizzas last night. We couldn’t be bothered cleaning up after”
“Keith, man. Another cooking aficionado?”
“No”
Keith’s answer was blunt. The fact he’d pulled himself together after Lance’s little temper tantrum was to be applauded. The wood fire stove came with the house, but rarely got used for anything other than pizzas. The thing was a temperamental old bitch on the best of days, but at least she was always there when there was no power or gas. Poor Hunk didn’t know how to deal with Keith
“Not from scratch, but it was pretty good”
“Are you two sure you’re not dating?”
Lance really wished Pidge would give the topic a rest. He’d had a tough enough morning as it was
“Pidgeon, I wouldn’t hold out on you if we were. I know how much you love those tiny little details...”
Pidge covered her ears with her hands
“I don’t want to know”
“Then give it a break already. Hunk, what are you Pidge up to for the rest of the day?”
“Not much, man. This wasn’t even planned...“
Planning would have been nice. Then he could have planned to hide until he died. He wouldn’t have had to face Keith. What kind of idiot put their hand on a caffeine deprived hunter and cracked lame jokes? Oh, that was right, it was him. He was the idiot. He wasn’t even sure why he had. He’d felt a little woozy as the blood rushed through his system, but once his hand was on Keith, he’d had a hard time letting go.
“... I’ll probably help my dad at the garage today. What about you, Pidge?”
“Seeing I’m not allowed to egg houses even when they house arseholes, I’ll probably set up a board and see what I can figure out. It’s been ages since we went on a proper hunt”
Pidge had the remnants of various boards tucked away in the attic of her family home. They were essentially murder boards for supernatural things. Photos, timelines, interesting articles. It was something she didn’t really talk about around outsiders, and something the three of them had taken to doing together. Lance felt a flare of jealousy over the fact Keith was being made privy to secret group information. Hunk didn’t seem to care
“Ooooh. Why didn’t you tell me you started a new board?”
“It’s an old one. Garrison, again. I mean, like, you’d think they would have fixed the arrangements of the wars. We all call it the Third World War, and sure there was a huge technology jump, but it was aaaaaaaages before the First World War”
It was and it wasn’t. That was the weird thing. Everyone knew it happened, yet when you tried to focus really hard on it, things became a bit muddle. Lance couldn’t quite put his finger on it either. It was kind of like some mass imagination thing had happened, but there was proof of it happening even if they couldn’t say exactly when. Personally Lance wouldn’t have listed it as a world war, and more an allies skirmish between two sides who both thought they were right and leader who had peanuts for brains... or maybe one of those monkeys with the cymbals that smashed them together every time they got remotely close to a good idea
“The good old Garrison board. How we loved you so. You revisiting the hospital?”
“No, I was thinking of re-examining the building usage lists. I want to see if we can set up again for another night in another building. Lance is probably going to be busy with Miriam, so I’m keeping it local for now. There’s this total members only club in Platt, that I have been dying to see. They reckon it’s run by werewolves who were born werewolves and that all the staff are werewolves that drank from water in their footprints”
Werewolves. Lance’s mood shifted again. He was turning into a breeder, with two new werewolf roommates coming. Werewolves could be quite lusty, and his arse was definitely saved for someone else. Someone with a big dumb black mullet... Lance chocked on air as he quickly cut that train of thinking off. Keith was basically a working condom advertisement. Emotional issues that’d never been treated, far too good looking to be human, cranky 24/7, plus he wasn’t even domesticated. He was never going to be interested in him and the sooner his brain got it together, the better it’s be for him.
“How about Pidge and I go pick the board up, then we all can work on it together?”
Noooooooooooo. Lance loved Hunk with the power of a billion suns, but noooooo. He didn’t want to be trapped on the couch next to Keith. He still needed time to settle his instincts, and to push down that damn dream... mostly the dream. Making the mistake of closing his eyes, the dream popped back into the forefront of his mind. Back’s had never really been sexy, but Keith’s broad shoulders and muscular form as he gripped the table... the sounds he made as Lance rode him hard into the table... The warmth... Keith was so fucking warm and loud... Whining, Lance clamped a hand over his mouth as his eyes shot open
“Dude?”
“I think I’m going to be sick”
He was... Hunk’s smoothie had to come out one way or the other. Bolting from the kitchen, he heard Keith covering him again. Why couldn’t keith go back to being a dick! Things were so much easier then, and now he was all friendly with his friends
“We kind of got drunk last night. He’s probably hung over... I’ll check on him. Why don’t you guys come back this afternoon and we’ll work on your board then?”
“Damn, man. I’ve never seen him hung over before...”
“Are you sure it’s just a hangover?”
“He’ll be fine. I need more coffee”
#oncebittemtwicestupid#once bitten twice stupid#mpreg#klance#voltron#bottom Lance#idiot keith#vampire Lance
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rendevous 18.6y
summary: chikage shows up at the front door of MANKAI after disappearing from the face of the Earth for 3 years. itaru is not happy.
fandom: a3
pairing: chikage x itaru
word count: 5516
tags: original characters for the sake of plot, friends to strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, flashbacks, mentions of death, bad attempts at action, bad attempts at comedy
chapter 1: realizations
He should be happy for him. Chikage is okay. Chikage is alive, and didn’t… just go somewhere and do god knows what, (which, well, he already did, didn’t he.) but at least it isn’t anything bad, he’s safe and sound and maybe the troupe members will be overjoyed to hear how he’s been doing...
Out of respect, no one has ever taken their spots in their respective troupes.
He observes him even harder from the lounge area in the office, a good break, he thinks, as he grinds some gacha game with his husbando, a little tired from staring at the stupidly “gendered” pink UI with the characters flying across the screen.
He’s happy. He looks healthy— maybe skin even glowing brighter than ever.
And it’s good for him. It’s amazing to see how happy Chikage looked, “laughing” with his friends, almost heartwarming to see Chikage doing just fine. Why wouldn’t he be? He’s talented, strong, mentally adept, better than h—
He stops that train of thought immediately.
He was happy. So then Itaru should be happy. Even if he was that stupid, unromantic senpai that always was offstandish with just a bit unromantic caring for others when he felt like it.
At least, should be.
He watches as his coworkers walk around him, slinging their arms around each other in camaraderie, as one of them asks him out for drinks after picking up lunch. His smile is almost as wide as he remembers when he figured out Hisoka was alive. And innocent.
He watches Chikage and he doesn’t look back, walking into the elevator without him, because he works on this floor. It’s fine.
But it’s just so fucking funny, when all he wants is just another word, just a reason why he left without even asking Spring Troupe, or literally anyone else for help. He would even trade his life for Hisoka’s, even though he knows that wouldn’t make anyone happy. Well, maybe Chikage. He could go off into some sunset with him and run away from whatever responsibilities he wanted to not deal with. Like Itaru. Izumi. The others.
He wants to scream out so bad, just for him to come back, but he can’t, like that stupid horror novel that made him feel like shit and all existential for no reason. He feels like he can talk to him about everything, in a sense. Which would make sense, of course, if they were still close. Roommates. But he could only do that in a world where Hisoka is still alive.
—
Chikage knows he’s here.
Why?
Intuition.
Not really. He looks at him, but chooses not to “look”.
But when he sees his face, almost heartbroken, which is almost questionable. He wants to ignore him so bad. Just move on. Easier said than done, when every week you see him share out information with the company execs. A Chikage-senpai, no more.
He wants to move on so bad.
But everytime he goes to bed, he can’t stop thinking. He crosses another day off the calendar, it’s been three years, almost three and a half years.
He tears down his calendar. Who the fuck uses those anyways?
He tries to move on.
But of course, when you have something good, and it gets taken away, you want it back, right? You throw a tantrum like a little child at first, like a baby crying for their pacifier their mom took away from them. Then, you silence yourself, deny you ever wanted it in the first place. But you can’t stop wanting more, wanting it back. You yearn for it so hard that it hurts, almost twists your heart into a fucking pretzel, your stomach bubbling like the filter of the damn fish tank in your too-large-for-one-person office— thanks Boss, not complaining— but you can’t have it. You ignore it.
He knows he wouldn’t be able to deal with it again. It was all his fucking fault. He slams his hand on the desk again, before opening up his work computer.
His vision is hazy, like the only thing he can see is his hands, just a foot in front of him, trying to find his ground, but all that runs through his mind is, “it’s your fucking fault you idiot stupid you shouldve worked harder to protect everyone, cant even do that” it turns out harder than expected.
But it’s not his first time at the rodeo, of course. He picks up the stack of paperwork, straightening it all into a neat little tower of paper, before typing away with a nasty scowl on his face.
He can’t accept this.
—
It’s his anniversary.
Chikage is on “vacation”. If your definition of “vacation” is sitting in a fancy car in suburban Tokyo, near Veludo Way. He already regrets his decision. Closure, my ass, he thinks to himself as he drives his car.
He’d already picked up tickets to their show in a month. Itaru is the lead this time. He searched it up, but it seemed not to have anything that Spring Troupe would do. Minagi always changes it up.
Maybe visiting his grave today wasn’t the best idea, Chikage asks himself with a slight melancholy in his inside head voice which he wants to shut up— so he tells it to shut up with its own voice (which of course, would never work, because he’s telling himself to
shut up).
Chikage doesn’t know what to say. Do people speak out loud to their graves? No disrespect to them, but not for him.
In their head? He tries it, kneeling down a bit to the headstone, setting down a bag of marshmallows.
Hisoka. I don’t believe in God or reincarnation, or whatever religion. But I want to give the universe, no matter how little it cares, the benefit of the doubt. I hope you’re in nirvana, heaven, or reincarnated into some “cute” baby in whatever country, eating marshmallows. I never understood that. It’s not like I needed to. I guess. But wherever you are, I hope you’re up there. With August.
He shakes his head, like a dog shaking off water, except instead of water, it’s a somber liquid covering him, coating him in some syrupy hotness that feels like the embodiment of orange with speckles of blue.
He gets up and turns around to head back to his car.
“...Utsuki. It’s been quite a while.” He pulls up the cuffs of his outfit.
He’s not surprised to see him here. Arisugawa. He looks the same, the same haircut, the same outfit, same everything. He’s happy to see he’s been doing well.
“...I’m not surprised to see you here. You were his roommate, after all.”
“Yes, yes, indeed I was. Was is the word I want to put emphasis on.” It’s like he reminded himself of what happened. “Why? Why come back here after all this time?”
“I was just… reminded.” He straightens his back, as if it wasn’t straight in the first place, almost scoliosis levels of effort into “straightening” posture, as if to become more defensive.
“Are you going to interrogate me, at least? Inquire about the troupe? How well has it been faring?”
“... I don’t think I need to.” He’s reminded of the last time he went to watch a play. Around Christmas time— where he could take enough time off.
Minagi always does well. Sakuma is always just so passionate you can feel it through the character. Usui is always perfect, staring back at the Director in approval. Chigasaki… is…
He interrupts his own thoughts just to respond to Arisugawa, who’s been waiting for another word for 3 seconds at least. “I saw the play around Christmas. Well done. Very much so.”
“We are all aware Minagi-san always does an amazing job. Why, he is at the same level as me. But of course, I must come here and mourn every once in a while.” He walks past Chikage to look at Hisoka’s grave. “These marshmallows were his favorite brand, Chikage.”
“I know.”
A moment of silence ensues as Homare places a bouquet of anemone on the grave.
“Come back.”
“What?” Chikage is almost startled as he looks down at Homare, squatting at the grave.
“Come back.”
“You know I can’t.”
“You can, and you have always been able.”
“I can’t. Arisu. What am I meant to say to everyone? ‘Oh, I left for 3 years, haha big surprise now I’m back!’ They’re them. I’m me. They don’t need me.” Chikage laughs nervously. Nervously? He calms his nerves— at least tries to, conflicted on what to do, because it’s been a while since he’s been like this.
“It’s what Hisoka would have wanted. We all need breaks.” The mention of Hisoka alarms Chikage, and makes his voice venom tipped.
“Don’t even try to bring up that fucking sleepyhead.”
“My, your language. This place is sacred.” He doesn’t even seem phased by his biting tone or his venomous words, just continuing to talk to him as normal— at least normal to him. “But you must admit… he would want you to keep acting. He was very, practically fully aware that you enjoyed what you did immensely.”
“I don’t care. It was good to talk to you again. See you around.” He storms off before Homare calls out for him again.
“Just… take this.” He hands him a card, Chikage acquiescing halfheartedly, already thinking about throwing away that flimsy card. “Call the number if you ever yearn for us too much.”
Chikage doesn’t say anything back— at least doesn’t feel the need to.
—
“Itaru?” The rest of the Spring Troupe knocks at his door, mostly Sakuya’s voice piercing through the little symphony of voices piping up just in an effort to wake up Itaru. (If he’s asleep of course— sleeping now to save energy for ranking all night.) “We have pizza?” Masumi looks at the noticeable lack of pizza in their hands, which, knowing Itaru, would make him close that damn door again.
Tsuzuru knocks on the door again, Izumi coming by, looking at them with a puzzled look on her face. “...Can I ask what you guys are doing or is it private?”
“Itaru hasn’t come out of his room in like… a week.” Tsuzuru takes out his phone to check the phone date to see if he’s actually not come out of his room for a week. “Yeah. A week.”
“And why is that surprising? He’s probably ranking.” Izumi almost has a visible question mark hovering over her head, that would be drawn over her if they were in an anime. “Although he should be working on his role… he is the lead after all.”
“Yeah, but I know that he has no thanking to do for this week!” Citron looks almost frustrated, going to the door to bang on it before Sakuya holds him back, calming him down. “I wanna play with him…”
“Ranking.” Tsuzuru mumbles through the word, correcting him.
“Ranking!”
Izumi parts them into two to make her way to the door, knocking harder. “Chigasaki! Get out of the room before I break in!” No response. “...Itaru?” Izumi grabs a keychain from her pocket, with the master key. “I’m coming in.” She unlocks the door quickly, opening the door, being blasted with a rank scent— the scent of body odor (which isn’t surprising now that he’s alone) but when it’s festered and accumulated for a month. Which is terrible considering he’s only been in there for a week.
“...Yes?” Itaru sits up in his loft bed. “...Oh.” He gets down from the loft bed, his hair almost matted to his face, with oil stains and chip crumbs all over his t-shirt. “...Hi.”
“Itaru.”
“Director…?”
“Take a bath. Come back here. We are going to talk, because you haven’t let it get this bad in a while.”
“...Whatever you say.”
When Itaru takes a shower, he doesn’t feel refreshed— rather just a clean feeling taking him with the same unidentifiable emotion. Probably a mixture of disappointment, discontentment, and self-loathing; which isn’t a particularly new mixture but it’s almost defeating this time, for no damn reason. Well, he does know the reason, but he refuses to acknowledge the idea, even entertaining it. Calling in sick to work because he just didn’t feel like going isn’t going to last forever, especially when He is practically his boss. He doesn’t want to get fired of course. He did just lose another job, so getting fired now isn’t the best idea.
Itaru picks up his phone on his way out of the bath, and turns on his phone to check his waifus this time, at first checking out his Best Girl. Humans are complicated, he says to himself, as he taps though some loading messages and downloading messages. He thinks back to work before getting interrupted by Izumi, who’s staring at him from inside his dorm, picking up trash and stuffing them into her makeshift trash bag, which is really just a plastic bag from the convenience store. “Itaru, come in. It’s your dorm after all.” He walks in unwillingly, hit by the smell he produced himself. He even wonders how he can take it.
Izumi wants to talk, he knows that much, as he feels the type of anxiety coming on when he gets the message, “we need to talk”. He hasn’t gotten it that often, but he does definitely freeze up. He definitely isn’t that stupid to not get a hint. Maybe. Izumi starts speaking after a moment of silence.
“So… Can we talk about this? You’ve never let it get this bad… even you have standards.” She glares at the side of the room that’s basically caked in chip bags, surrounded by an anime summoning circle made of chip crumbs.
“Do I have to?”
“Listen… this can’t go on forever. Just… talk about it. My lips are sealed!” She “zips” her mouth shut and throws away the invisible key from her hands. Itaru knows she isn’t going to leave without an answer— which is just the type of person she is— determined for no good reason. He can’t understand why Izumi is still here, even “helping” him clean. Helping in quotation marks because Itaru’s splayed out on his couch, head hanging off an armrest.
He holds out his phone to tweet something on his streamer Twitter, like “sorry for not streaming i was sick” which is convincing, until he realizes Banri follows him. Fucking NEO. Whatever. He sends it anyway.
“Can you keep it down? I don’t know what emotion you’re gonna feel when I tell you whatever has gotten me so… down. But I know you’re gonna scream about it, which I don’t want to hear.” Itaru scrolls through his personal, looking at fanart of his main games staring at a couple to just appreciate the artistry. Talent.
“I told you. Lips are sealed!”
He adds a snarky tone to his voice. “Someone with their lips zipped together wouldn’t be able to talk.” Itaru smirks.
“Shut up, you know what I mean.”
“LOL. Do you seriously, most definitely, want to hear me out?”
“Yes. Obviously? I’m cleaning your room just to buy myself time so you don’t kick me out.”
“Good strat. Whatever.” He goes to the training section, sacrificing some of his cards in the name of evolving his best girl. “I got laid off, remember?”
“Yeah.”
“And I got a new job, remember?”
“Mmmhm.”
“So I got hired as an assistant to this high up exec, which is like… hell yeah. Level up from that old company.”
“Didn’t you just get hired? I don’t think being absent for a week is a good look for your Refreshing Handsome Man persona. Trademark.”
Itaru laughs.“I— Well… Yeah? But I just didn’t want to go because of a certain person.”
“Do we have to beat someone up?”
“No. But guess who it was.”
“... Was it someone from highschool?”
“It was Chikage-san.”
“...Chika—“ Izumi puts her own hand over her mouth to shut herself up because of the up and coming scream that is about to pierce the skies.
“You heard me right.”
“...Yeah, I definitely did.” Izumi almost has a solemn tone, a tacit agreement of how they should be feeling about this.
“I just… I don't think I’m ready to see him. Mentally preparing for what shitshow might go on. Seeing him drained all my LP in a split second. And this week is me recharging, and a little more. Like I need it to overflow this time, like when I claim daily login quests for them.”
“Makes sense. Well… nothing you can do about it, right?” Izumi sounds a bit defeated, tying up the trash she’s picked up in the convenience store plastic bag, taking out another one and cleaning up again. “Just… deal with it till you can find a new job. Or… you could bring him back here. I want to— need to talk to him.”
“Mmm. I don’t want to do it.” Itaru sounds even more defeated, like he was born with that stupid Archeops abiltity. 50% HP lost already, and he’s not ready to lose that other half. “But if it comes to that… Sure. I’ll try. Not very hard of course.”
“Yeah, yeah, Itaru. You keep doing that.” She picks up some more trash before Tsumugi looks through the door.
“Director-san?”
“Tsumugi?”
“Someone is at the door.”
“I’ll get it.” Tsumugi leaves quickly to his dorm. “Itaru. Finish cleaning. Get the broom and sweep that damn pile of chips. We can’t deal with another infestation. Sakyo is gonna get so mad at you and me, and we don’t want another wifi outage caused by him. Also… please remember the play. I know that we aren’t super close to opening night, but this one has to be one of our more intricate ones, okay? Study your role well.”
“Yeah, of course. I’ve been doing that in here too.” Itaru follows Izumi out of the room, heading to the lounge to grab the dustpan and broom lying in the corner of the kitchen. Itaru takes it, wondering how much money it would cost for Itaru to get a damn maid around here.
But he wouldn’t want anyone to see his room, of course, as he gets almost scared of someone walking in, and seeing his shelf of games, and his cute and sexy gamer setup. Not the right choice of words, but it’s cute and sexy to him. (He also doesn’t want anyone to wash his body pillow of his waifu, or see it, matter of fact. Plus, he’s worked to make it so comfortable he can sleep instantly with it.)
Itaru heads back to his dorm, the door still open, sweeping up the chips, and spraying some damn Febreeze in there. Hawaiian breeze, or some other tropical scent will do. He hears frantic footsteps from the lounge, Izumi holding onto the doorframe.
“Itaru!” She stands up straight. “Chikage… is here. At the dorms with us.”
“What?”
Chikage pops up behind her, with a small suitcase in hand. Less of popping up, but more of fully revealing himself behind her.
“Please don’t tell me he’s moving back in.”
—
Chikage is less than aware of the reasons he’s here, before regrouping himself and making some stupid mental list in his mind. Thanks, self-help/business book that his boss gave him. He leads up the events in his mind.
Chikage gets a call from the landlord of his apartment building.
The landlord tells him that the rooms are flooded because some guy on the upper floor took such a big shit that it flooded the entire apartment complex. How does one even do that?
He is distressed. He goes to book a hotel.
All the hotel rooms are booked again.
Chikage, understandably, gets angry. He drives back to pick up some non-wet stuff. He can sleep in a car for a night.
He starts it up, and it doesn’t start. His car is broken.
He kicks the tire in frustration, and the side metal plate just falls off. He sighs in the ultimate defeat.
He now has nowhere else to stay— hotels are all booked and reserved for the waves of plays about to be released. His hideout is not an option— he doesn’t have much of a bed in there, or actual facilities he needs. No wifi.
Chikage is reminded of the conversation he and Arisugawa had back at… there.
He comes back with a damn Uber.
He sits down at the couch, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in more than frustration at what situation he’s gotten himself into, already regretting his decision.
Izumi runs back, opening the lounge door. “...Chikage-san!” She goes to the kitchen. “It’s… a pleasure to see you back here. It’s pretty late. Almost everyone has gone to sleep. Tea?”
“Sure. Lavender, thank you.” Chikage is fidgeting, which is super out of whatever character he plays, almost struggling to not have a tone when he says his next words. “I’d… hope no one else is awake.” He thinks back to Itaru, but forces the thought of him out. “How has it been?”
“Not the same without you and… yeah.” Izumi looks down at her own cup, the teabag soaking. “Why are you here anyways? You just… disappeared.”
Chikage swallows his pride for just a little bit longer. “My apartment is flooded. My stuff is fine but I can’t stay there for now. Every hotel is booked here. My car is broken because I’ve been forsaken. I can’t stay anywhere else. I need to stay here.”
“...Well… you’re always welcome here anyways. You’ll always be a part of us, even when you don’t think you are.” Izumi takes a sip of her now finished tea. “Well… I know this might be uncomfy but for now, our only open room is 103.” He gets flashbacks to the number, when he got assigned it the first time he came here. “I don’t want to put you in 205. Homare has been doing a lot of stuff in there ever since.” Izumi pauses. “...And I know how you might feel about it.”
“I see. Well… I’ll take what I can get, no?” He sighs. “Beggars can’t be choosers.” He takes a long sip of his lavender tea. Nothing has really changed, he observes, as he looks around slowly taking everything back in. The smell is even familiar, which might just be the smell of lavender tea, but he doesn’t really think so. But an air about it doesn’t have as much life as it used to— which he might attribute to the fact that it’s now 12:30 am, but he knows deep in his subconscious the real reason.
Izumi smiles wide. “Great. I’ll lead you there. Itaru is cleaning right now.”
—
Yes, it is awkward, Itaru confirms to himself— something he doesn’t even need to do when Chikage is literally just typing away at his computer, as Itaru fiddles with his phone up in the air, playing some new KniRoun thing. Great. Lancelot is idly whacking at some large dragon on his phone screen, while Chikage’s loud typing begins to fill up more and more of his headspace until Itaru finally gets over the air that’s as thick as butter. “Can you type… quieter? Please?”
Fuck. That is not how he meant to say it. “...sure.” Itaru is surprised, doing a little “Oh.” to himself. He expected more resistance, especially with his tone.
Chikage can almost feel Itaru’s eyes burn into the back of his skull, which would almost be fitting for him and those damn carnelian eyes. “If you want me to leave, I can leave. I understand you have to do that ranking thing, or whatever.”
“Don’t act like you care, Utsuki.” Itaru just keeps fumbling with his tone, always going a little too biting. Which he should probably stop, when he’s basically talking to his boss. Technically. Not really his boss, because he’s been appointed to Chikage. They’re supposed to be working together. But it’s not like Chikage has power in a setting that is now his. He’s in Itaru’s domain. “You never cared about my ranking in the first place.”
“Can we fucking not today? Be happy I’m even dealing with you.”
Itaru shuts up immediately. He isn’t going to do this today. Or ever. He turns on his side to try to ignore whatever that cabbage head is doing on his laptop. But he doesn’t. He looks at the laptop, already looking for hotels to stay at, and sending out emails, with some decryptor on the side. Itaru isn’t one for confrontation. He knows he’s less than welcome with Chikage’s presence— which he can’t understand.
But Itaru is already tired— be it from the event that just happened, or the fact that it’s 1 am. Which is baby hours for him. He goes to do some final things, use his stamina, the sorts, and lets his body drift away.
—
Itaru wakes up midday, as usual for a weekend, and for some reason, Chikage is still there, typing away. He climbs down from his loft bed, stretching a bit and going to turn his computer on.
It seems like a normal weekend to Itaru, except for the fact that he’s here now. For whatever reason.
“Have you been awake this entire time?”
“...What’s it matter to you?” Chikage doesn’t even look back or stutter in his typing.
“Nothing, I was just wondering. Jeez.” Itaru doesn’t even want to try to fight back with the man who could snap his neck in 0.5 seconds. He walks out into the atrium, heading to the kitchen to grab some food from Omi, who had probably covered some leftovers from breakfast in plastic wrap, and probably already getting lunch ready.
“Itaru. Good morning to you!” Omi speaks to Itaru from the counter, giving him a smile.
“Thanks.” He grabs the leftover breakfast for a nice brunch. Izumi comes through the door with some bags of groceries for the next week.
“Itaru! Let’s talk later, okay? Practice is soon. We don’t want you to be absent this time. As the lead, you have the most importance for the play, and we need you to—“
“I know. I’ve been studying this role, okay? I just can’t seem to wrap my head around it.”
“And that’s why we should talk.” Izumi looks serious again, the look she gave him last night when cleaning his dumpster room. “It’s nothing serious. Just sit down here.”
“I have things to attend to, Director.” Itaru looks smug, and walks towards the door, plate in hand.
“I swear it’ll be quick!”
“Can’t we just do it in my room? Omi is here, and if it’s so serious, we should talk about it in a private place.”
“You’re gonna be distracted if we do it in your room. Just follow me to mine.”
“Ugh…” He walks over to Izumi, and follows her to her room, pulling out a chair for Itaru and she sits on her bed. “So…?”
“So… guess what…” Izumi’s voice is light, like she’s trying to break something to him slowly but surely.
“Don’t tell me. Is he going to be staying for a while?”
“...Damn.”
“You have to be kidding me, Izumi. Like I can’t believe you would do this to me. Rooming me with my boss.” He puts his back over the chair he’s sitting in, like a standard damsel in distress, woe is him. “Woe is me! All I know is pain and suffering.”
“You might be an actor but that was not an opening night performance.” Izumi laughs. “It might be for a while so bear with me. It’ll be until at least closing night.”
“... At least closing night?” Itaru is confused. “Why does he even need to stay in here?”
“Well… His apartment is flooded. Some guy took a fat shit in the toilet on the upper floors and now his apartment is flooded with toilet water. Hotels are booked for a while, Godza n’ all the other performances. People do book hotel rooms months in advance here.”
“Well, that’s tough. Why not put him with Homa—“ He stops and realizes what he’s going to say. “Oh.”
“Right.”
“Well, can’t he drive? Like… to a place with hotels?”
“Well, his car is broken. Listen, even if he did get it fixed, it’s the least we can do for him. He tried his best, Itaru. Everyone… grieves differently and it’s not in our place to judge him, no? Even if it was self-destructive…”
“Yeah, by hurting us? That’s his grief? Why’d you even let him stay? He doesn’t act, he wouldn’t do shit around here. Do you think he’ll come back? After three and a half years, no goodbye, just a complete disappearance? I don’t see how you can forgive some old cabbage head like that. He’s not even part of MANK—“
“Itaru, can you shut the fuck up? Like, actually.” Itaru immediately shuts up in almost prey-like fear. ”You of all people should know what it felt like when he left, and after everything that went down.” Izumi is absolutely fuming, like steam is coming out of her ears, getting up and turning away and looking at the bookshelf. “Do you know what it feels like? I worked so hard for this— to build this up from when it was failing to a place where we can stay and lean on each other and you… you of all people should know what the hell that feels like.”
“Izumi, I—“ He gets up, reaching out for a bit.
“I’m not finished.” Izumi is tearing up and getting more red by the second, like she’s going to burst. “How do you think I feel about all this? Chikage is back. It’s overwhelming, Itaru. It reminded me of Hisoka, and what would MANKAI be if he was still here but he isn’t. He’s not back. He won’t ever, and when we find an old member like Chikage, I will always accept him back in, even if he’s not committed to the acting gig. It’s almost like we’re completing ourselves again.”
“I understand that, but—“ Itaru can barely get a word in.
“He’s staying there. I don’t want any backtalk from you, Itaru. Have a good evening.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Just go.” She sits back down, her back turned to Itaru as he walks out.
Itaru feels bad. I mean, who wouldn’t, but he didn’t expect Izumi to take it that hard. Itaru has every right to say that he doesn’t want him in his room, feeling no remorse for making Izumi almost cry from pure anger, walking slowly back to the room. Omi stares at him as he goes through the kitchen.
“...Food?”
“Nah. Not hungry, I want some chips.”
“Don’t overindulge. It’s almost dinner anyways.”
“Yeah, yeah, thanks Omi.”
He walks out of the kitchen and back to his room, still thinking about Izumi. Izumi is angry. Izumi is more than angry at him and it was because of him— which has never happened before and he is distraught.
He walks back into the room and no one is there. Bless. Today his room feels a bit more lonely, even though there’s more stuff in it, looking to his left to see the duffel bag of clothes with his desk underneath the loft bed already set up with tons of electronics. What is he even doing? He takes a look at Chikage’s stuff before he comes back.
Another laptop? A walkie-talkie… and the thing that catches his eye the most is a picture of MANKAI, and behind that, a picture of Hisoka and Chikage. Itaru remembers taking this photo, looking closer at it. Okay, now he really feels bad, he thinks as he looks at the photo more and more.
If he missed us that much then why didn’t he come back?
The door opens and he shuffles as fast as he can to the couch, posing in one of the most awkward positions.
“...H-hey, Utsuki-senpai.”
“Hm.”
He quickly walks past, suspiciously looking at Itaru as if he was a cat that pushed something off a desk while their owner was gone. Itaru quickly skitters to his desk, starting up his computer. The room feels a bit more lively with both of them in it, even if they’re both just trying to ignore each other, something within the room metamorphosing, like something is changing. He shakes the thought out of his head quickly before he slumps into his chair to get into the Gamer Position (trademarked by Itaru himself) and getting his software up.
Itaru needs to stream today. Not really— he didn’t announce anything, but he has to feed his fans some sort of content. He gets ready to film something, anything. He picks a random game and starts filming a bit, Chikage in the room completely tuning Itaru out and vice versa.
Chikage slowly drifts off to sleep for once, but this time, it’s a deep sleep.
chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6
#a3#a3!#a3! chikage#a3! itaru#a3! chikaita#ckit#chikage utsuki#itaru chigasaki#a3 fanfiction#a3! fanfic
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I’ve seen a few posts asking for recommendations for romance interactive/visual novels and finally I decided it would be better to just post about it rather than replying. Note that I have been playing this genre for years but I also am picky. There are some games that I have played which I would not necessarily rec*.
Interactive Novels (Purely text based)
The Wayhaven Chronicles (Mobile, Steam)
Creme de la Creme (Mobile, Steam)
Tally Ho (Mobile, Steam)
**Fallen Hero: Rebirth (Mobile, Steam)
Visual Novels
Arcade Spirits (PS 4, Switch, Xbox One, Steam, itch.io)
Choices (Mobile)
Dream Daddy (PS 4, Switch, Steam, Humble, Mobile)
A Rose in Winter (Steam, Itch.io)
You should also watch out for “Best Friend Forever” (Switch/Steam/Itch.io) and download the demo. I also personally have not yet played “Butterfly Soup” but I hear great things about it.
If you want to know more about the games along with the pros and cons are for each game (in my opinion) check under the cut. but it is. Long.
Interactive Novels
The Wayhaven Chronicles - Fantasy/romance. You play as a detective who has been tasked to solve a murder in your small town of Wayhaven. You have been tasked with agents from a mysterious agency, Unit Bravo, to help you. But are they all that they seem?
Pros:
Sexy vampires. (This is not a spoiler it’s literally in the description of the game.)
The writing is incredible. Mishka Jenkins knows the tropes and uses them expertly.
The romances are all very good in their own unique way.
All of the characters are well developed and interesting.
There are two books of this series out!
Cons:
ACAB. And you play a detective at a station where there’s literally a state where you either are “by the book” or “bend the rules” so like. Not great.
There are two books out of seven for the series so know you will be left wanting more.
You can play as non-binary and there are a couple of background non-binary characters in the story but there are no non-binary romances.
Creme de la Creme - Adventure/romance (if you’re into dark academia, this is for you). You play as a student sent to a finishing school and are expected to bring prestige back to the family name.
Pros:
This plot takes some turns y’all.
You can play as non-binary and there also can be non-binary romance options!
There is aro/ace representation!!
Hannah Powell-Smith is married to a woman so like nice.
Cons:
There is some commentary that sometimes works well and sometimes falls flat. Mainly the critique on power and the upper class works well until the endings where many still benefit from this without characters putting much more thought in it.
Tally Ho - Comedy/Romance. Inspired by Wooster and Jeeves. You play a servant living in London during 1930′s. You work for Rory Wintermint, and must accompany them to their Aunt Primrose’s estate. Hijinks ensue.
Pros:
Light and fun and adorable.
Romances
There are some really funny moments in this.
Cons:
This was one of my first interactive novels and I have spent hours and hours on this game and there are still achievements that I have absolutely no idea how to achieve.
It’s a light and airy game so know that if romance is your thing, it doesn’t delve as deep into those relationships as other games on here.
You can play with they/them pronouns but there is no other non-binary characters.
Fallen Hero: Rebirth - Action/Superhero. You play a former hero that has started acting on your plan to become a supervllian. You must work against your original crew and that gets. Complicated.
(**Heads up, this is a very good game it’s not romance-focused. I also have not replayed it in some time. and other people could describe it better than I have. So if this short description sounds interesting, I recommend looking it up on tumblr + other areas.)
Pros:
Immersive and thoughtful small details.
The romances are complex and certainly not easy, but that’s certainly a strength of the writing.
Malin Rydén self-describes as “unapologetically queer”
Cons:
Not so much of a con but something yall should know! This game handles heavy topics as your character descends into villainy. Your character experiences depression and a variety of Rough Stuff. Keep that in mind if you are also in a rough place mentally rn.
I’m gonna be real with ya fam and I think this could just be me. There were multiple parts of this game that I felt lost in. I could not fully understand what was going on. BUT I also feel like in many places that is the intention for the character to feel disorientated so take that what you will.
Visual Novels
Arcade Spirits - Dating Sim/Comedy. You play as a depressed person who was just fired. You are convinced you are suffering from a generational long curse. Your phone matches you with a job at the Funplex arcade with various characters. Will you ensure the arcade survives? Will you find love along the way?
Pros:
this is GOD-TIER visual novel content y’all!!
The system that they use for stats are unlike anything I’ve ever seen but it’s leagues ahead. You do not have to be constantly monitoring your stats as you would typically for other games.
Made with so much love for the content and attention to detail.
Diverse cast that are all so fun and lovable in their own way.
You get to create your MC’s hair/skin/clothes color and then you’ll see them throughout the game?? WILD.
Cons:
BECAUSE this game was made with love and and attention to detail, if you have absolutely no interest in the world of video games you may feel detached.
The character creator is very limited. Which I do get to a certain extent with all of the different shots they draw the MC in. But I hope you want your character to be thin with a lot of angular facial features
Choices - An app where there is a series of stories you can play “chapters” of using keys, which replenish every couple of hours.
Pros:
It’s a very focused on modern romance stories, but there are also such a variety of different genres of books! Fantasy (Blades of Light & Shadow), Historical fiction/romance (Desire & Decorum), Thriller/Horror (It Lives in the Woods). I have PLENTY of recs if you hmu.
There are...Many a good romances in these tho like I have blushed and sighed and daydreamed about these stories.
Cons:
You need patience for this game. It’s a free app and therefore has a system where you need to understand the key system and be patient to collect “diamonds” to purchase premium choices.
Many of the books are gender-locked where you can only play as a woman.
Choices has been criticized that they need better treatment/more screentime for their characters of Color. They have said they are committing to do better, but we will see.
Same has been said about their wlw romances.
Just as there are good stories, there are also stories that have something to be desire. I have varying issues with some books that have plot holes, unengaging writing, etc. These are good for you to play to earn more diamonds though.
Dream Daddy - Dating Sim/Comedy. (This game was the talk of the town when it came out in 2017 but in case you weren’t in the genre at the time!!) You are a single dad who is moving with your daughter Amanda to Maple Bay. You meet other single dads and date them while also trying to be a good father to your daughter.
Pros:
This writing is sharp as a tack. The comedy is on point and this game does a great job transitioning into serious moments.
There are awesome little mini-games that you’ll find in these!
The characters of each datable dad first seem like caricatures, but their backstories are complex and have depth.
The character creator is chef’s kiss v good. AND you can play as a trans dad like how neat.
Cons:
There have been plenty of conversation about cons for this game but frankly I don’t truly believe it has a con for what it is.
If you’re not a pun person this game will be. Difficult.
A Rose in Winter - Romance. You are playing as Rose, a girl who determined to prove herself as a knight. She has found herself at an inn and must choose between a series of Princes to help on their journey.
Pros:
Cute stories!
Except for the green prince which is heart-fluttering. (and if you play, I recommend playing last)
Adorable art.
Cons:
This reads more like an ACTUAL visual novel. Your choice (besides the initial choice you make on which prince you pursue) means little, if there is choice at all.
It’s definitely simpler than other games on this list but that’s not a bad thing as much as you should know!
*Please know that I did not include The Arc*n* on purpose! I used to really love that app but the way certain things were handled (both IRL and in the plot) I would not recommend it now.
#the wayhaven chronicles#creme de la creme#dream daddy#a rose in winter#playchoices#arcade spirits#cog#hosted games#Let me apologize if you're going through these tags and don't think this should be in there#that's valid and I struggled with that!#however i came to the conclusion it's the best way for people who are looking for new things to enjoy to find something
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FREAKY slashes up a piece of that horror-comedy pie
Hey, let’s remake FREAKY FRIDAY, but this time it’s about a middle-aged serial killer who swaps places with a 17-year-old girl. That simple yet ridiculous premise is the main plot behind a surprisingly perfect, and fantastically gory, horror-comedy.
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FREAKY is one of those movies that could have failed hard. It’s a brilliant idea that could have fallen apart in the wrong hands. Many films have tried to balance genres and get lost along the way. FREAKY is NOT one of those fails. It’s one of those films that had me rooting for it from the first 5 minutes and still had me pleasantly surprised throughout. In addition to being a great body-swap flick, it’s also an engaging horror flick. It’s like someone shoved your favourite FRIDAY THE 13TH scenes in a blender with MEAN GIRLS. It shouldn’t work… but it does. It’s an ode to 80s slashers, but it’s also an ode to high school-centred comedies? And it does all this while keeping hardcore horror fans pleased by giving it a hard R rating?!? And it’s actually really funny?!?
When they first announced this film, I was expecting a fun PG-13 flick in the vein of HAPPY DEATH DAY, and I was okay with that. I really liked HAPPY DEATH DAY (as with FREAKY, also directed by Christopher Landon). HAPPY DEATH DAY, was a smart spin on GROUNDHOG’S DAY that it did a lot of cool things while also being able to do so with a PG-13. It wasn’t trying to be MANIAC, nor did I ever expect it to. I’m an annoying purist, but I’m ok with light pop-corn horror if done right, and that film did it right.
So with that in mind, I was utterly blown away by the very, very R-RATED kills in the opening 10 minutes. It was a brutal onslaught of gore. It was Landon’s way of saying, “Relax, horror bros, I got you.” It was like a Greatest Hits from decades ago but with a fresh spin on it. Slashers got a little lazy in the last few years, and this film just let it all hang out in that opening scene. It was ballsy as all hell, and I was totally on board. And luckily it didn’t just stop there.
This one has all the tropes of classic stabby fright flicks. Huge emotionless killer? Check. Ominous mask? Check. St upid teenagers getting in trouble? Check. Inventive kills that make you cackle “Holy Shit”? Check. Twists and turns? Check. A growing body count? Check. Final girl? Check. And let’s throw in an occult artifact in the mix that swaps that final girl with that emotionless killer and that’s where you get something new and different!
And if you’re coming into this one from a comedy perspective, this one has all the tropes of classic high school movie. Insecure lead going through an awkward time? Check. Supportive comic relief friends? Check. Parents that just don’t understand? Check. Villainous teachers? Check. Mean girls? Check. Huge awkward misunderstandings? Check. And let’s throw in an occult artifact in the mix that causes said misunderstandings and that’s where you get something new and different!
That new and different wouldn’t be what it is without the standout performance from the two leads, Vince Vaughn & Kaythryn Newton. Vaughn is the aforementioned creepy masked killer. He’s wonderfully cast here as a towering, silent brute. Vaughn of course might be known for his comedic work, but he’s actually got an impressive range that’s very rarely utilized (see BRAWL AT CELLBLOCK 99 for more details). Here he excels as the Butcher. Effective, brutal, and cold. He’s been on a killing spree lately, which we see a bit of at the beginning, and he’s definitely looking to kill some more. And it looks like he found a spooky looking occult dagger
Newton, known to genre fans from her recurring role in SUPERNATURAL, is very likeable as the main lead, Millie. Having recently suffered from the loss of her father, Millie is currently dealing with the ongoing depression that the loss put on her mother, as well as her own struggles to return to normality. Can she survive a day at school from the usual trials, tribulations, bullies, and high school crushes, let alone a serial killer lurking nearby?
And thus their two paths meet in the most unexpected (or very expected) of ways. We soon witness a thrilling chase, very reminiscent of the best Michael Myers and Jason hunts-- in fact this whole chase actually takes place on the eve before Friday the 13th, a very knowing wink to the genre that birthed this film. And soon the Butcher, with Millie in his grips, claims his latest victim… only he doesn’t… darn those occult daggers!
And that’s when the two leads really showcase their acting chops. Vaughn is now a frazzled high school student, and Newton is the silent and sinister stalker. Both take on their new roles excellently and they both embody (heh) them flawlessly. Vaughn is awkward and fragile and Newton is menacingly fierce as fuck. Newton utterly transforms into someone else and her performance is a total triumph. Vaughn is adorable.
Seeing them both re-interact/meet with their friends (and foes) in their new forms is endless fun. You see Vaughn run like a girl and Newton go on a homicidal spree. You see Vaughn give off his best flirty eye and Newton’s best glare of doom. They both seamlessly fill their new roles.
But it’s not quite the seamless exchange for Millie and the Butcher. Millie clumsily gets used to their bigger and stronger frame… and the Butcher realizes they are not as strong as they once were. A lot of what works about this ride is seeing how they both adapt to their new struggles and use it to their advantage. The Butcher has a new mask, and Millie soon finds confidence in herself in her new self.
The supporting cast is used with great effect, too. They all get us to where we need to be. Everyone serves a purpose. From the mom, to older sister/cop, to the comic relief, to the love interest, and classmates of varying degrees of douchebagginess. Everyone is either likeable or unlikeable as they should be. There’s even a nice nod to previous academic farces with a cameo from FERRIS BUELLER’S Alan Ruck as an asshole shop teacher.
Director Christopher Landon is really slicing out a nice niche of off-kilter spins in the horror genre, and it’s reassuring that he knows what he’s doing. It truly is a well-crafted film. Not just as a horror film, but also from a technical standpoint. The pacing is dead perfect, every joke hits, the story beats and setups are well orchestrated, and not a moment is wasted. It’s tense when it needs to be tense, gory when it needs to be gory, and legit laugh out loud moments when it needs to have those LOL moments.
It’s such a great spin to the body-swap comedy genre, a genre that feels like there’s an endless amount where they all sort of felt very “samey”; especially in the 80s, where at one point three different body-swaps came out within 2 years of each other! This one takes the better elements of those, relishes in them, carves new ground, and adds a bit of Tom Hanks’ BIG in for good measure.
But homage to a decade old cinematic fad aside, at no point does it ever stop delivering on the humour and slasher content. It’s tight, daring, and keeps you enthralled throughout. Whether you’re a horror junkie, or into well-written oddball comedies, or even into clever thrillers, the end result has you covered.
There’s a great message in there too, as the film tackles school killings, social media, pc culture, and the general malaise many of us experience after the loss of a loved one. It’s about grief and acceptance and moving on… yet it’s very light-hearted. And you still get ample buckets of blood and splatter.
Yes, fans, there’s so many gruesome and cool looking on screen deaths your morbid heart’s desire. Amazing uses of wine bottles, tennis rackets, chainsaws, and industrial equipment. A creepy serial killer flophouse complete with creepy mannequins and various implements of torture. Possibly a severed head in a bloody toilet? Yeah, this film has that too.
You can currently rent this one on various VOD services. Hopefully this one hits the majority of streaming services soon, since it had the misfortune of opening late last year during the pandemic. It definitely needs a wider audience because it’s another one of those instant classics. It’s easily my favourite current horror-comedy, and I’m looking forward to more from Christopher Landon. A film that’s both goofy and gory with just enough twists to keep your attention and please jaded genre fans? That’s freaky.
#horror#horror movies#blumhouse#freaky#kathryn newton#vince vaughn#Christopher Landon#Slashers#movie reviews#film reviews#body swap#moviesrotbrains#movies rot brains#universal
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Recent Media Consumed
Books
A History of Christianity by Paul Johnson. Interesting story behind this choice. A friend remarked that Christianity had been spread by the sword, which I denied with a good bit of shock. She picked up this book to check herself, and soon after I decided it would be a good idea if I knew a bit more about the history of the Church, too. After reading this book, my understanding is that for most of its history, Christianity was not spread to non-Christians by the sword because Christianity was too busy shedding blood between its own sects to bother with non-Christians. After hearing about centuries and centuries of inter-sect horrors, I couldn’t help some dark humor, “Where did they even find the time and energy for anti-semitism?”. That aside, this was a very difficult book for me to process. This is the sort of book I struggle with because it is as dry as any high school history textbook and uses many words I’d never even heard of. Still, I really wanted to get some sort of starter picture of the situation, so I decided I would keep reading (listening on Audible) and glean as much as I could from the gist. I have definitely gleaned the gist and it is pretty depressing. Also, I found, there WERE periods when it was spread by the sword to non-Christians. Basically when Christianity and Politics mixed, the picture ain’t great. Christianity in power did some incredible things, but every page of its history is riddled with corruption and bloodshed too. I saw the roots of some dogmas I took for granted and it appalls and disheartens me. Funny enough, the end result of me reading this book is a deeper understanding of my desperate need for God’s grace, because there is NO way I can know with 100% certainty where the full and complete truth is at this point even if I was ready to conform every last aspect of my life to it, so there’s NO way I could “do all the right things” to earn grace, I just have to throw myself on God’s grace and mercy. This is a very painful and upsetting book to read, but I also think it is something most Christians should consider reading at some point. If we seek the truth as we claim, we must seek it as fully as we are capable in our lives, and the history of the church is not taught and examined nearly enough.
Blackout by Candace Owens. Approached with some caution. Listened while alternating between wincing and nodding. I think she makes some very good points, but I was having trouble pinpointing why I felt so uncomfortable with the decisive, often antagonistic tone she’d taken. But the more I listened to her describe black history, culture, and experience, the more I realized my discomfiture with her tone had to do with the fact that I was not her target audience, and realizing who was. At which point I laughed at myself. This is an interesting book, and while I do prefer reading Thomas Sowell’s calmer tone, I don’t regret this read. It’s another puzzle piece in a learning process.
The Winternight Trilogy by Katherine Arden. Oh this was a dark and lovely dark fairytale romp. And as I read it, I felt like I was reading fanfiction. Like, a good emotionally invested fanfiction writer spun a new angle on old, dark Russian fairytales and spirits. Took me out of reality for a bit, which was exactly what I needed to regain perspective on reality. Though it was a little weird for me to read, too. Danced on the edge of my comfort level on some issues, but raised questions I also want to think about.
Intellectuals and Society by Thomas Sowell. It is one of those kind of painful to read books. I’d already read Intellectuals and Race (which was a segment of THIS book that got expanded and extrapolated into its own book) though this book covers several other areas that intellectuals have had vast influence in (influence, he argues, that is disproportional to their understanding of the subject matter they opine on). I have about the same takeaway; be wary of those who feel they know enough to remove decision making from other peoples’ hands, becoming their caretakers and saviors.
Homestuck by Andrew Hussie. I did give it a real solid try, well over 800 pages of it. It’s an interesting idea, but it never really hooked me hard and I didn’t enjoy a lot of it. At this point I don’t think I want to finish it.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy “trilogy” by Douglas Adams. So I re-read the whole thing (all five books of the trilogy), and while I enjoyed the satire and verbal romp of it all (seriously, Douglas Adams just… PLAYS with his words in such a way that you comprehend every shade of meaning he intended you to get) I was left emptier by the end, this time. I think I realized what a lighthearted tragedy (or dark comedy?) this series is. Nothing has any meaning by the end. Still, it is a fun romp to read.
On Deck
The Princess Bride by William Goldman.
Lectures by Bart Ehrman about the History of Early Christianity
Lectures by Jordan Peterson about Genesis and Psychology
The Animaniacs Reboot
24 - Season 6
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