#ok time for bee movie musical.
Text
Mafia blacks incorrect quotes pt 2:
Other mafia incorrect quotes
Characters:
M!Jeffery
M!Rabid @mafia-rabid-mercenary2
M!Dia @mafia-dia-smthidk
M!Bun @mafia-bun
M!Dash @the-mafia-bear
M!Moshieee @mafia-moshie
M!Kay @mafia-kay
All canon characters in this, as of recent times, for the blacks. I might do one including everyone’s favorite non canon characters if I get the time and people wanna see it. Remember that these are all just for the sillies.
Yeah dash is in these, but I made them a while ago.
That’s why this one is short, we have to cut out the traitor 💃 so I’m posting all the old ones so I can do the new ones and slander him.
••+^+••
M!Kay: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok?
M!Dia: Okay.
*later*
M!Bun: M!Dia! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble.
M!Kay, whispering: Deny everything.
M!Dia, loudly: That isn't a chair.
••+^+••
M!Rabid: Astrology is fun because I can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.
M!Jeffery: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That’s not hate it’s just a fact.
••+^+••
M!Dash: Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?
••+^+••
M!Jeffery: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched?
M!Rabid: IT.
M!Kay: Annabelle.
M!Moshieee: Paranormal Activity.
M!Dash: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.
••+^+••
M!Bun: Good morning!
M!Jeffery: Is it? Is it really?
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: Croissants: dropped
M!Dash: Road: works ahead
M!Bun: BBQ sauce: on my titties
M!Dia: Shavacado: fre
M!Kay: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
M!Jeffery:
M!Jeffery: ...I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.
••+^+••
M!Dash to M!Bun: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just...
M!Dia: Cockroach ankles!
M!Dash: Ye- uh, what?
••+^+••
M!Dash, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.
M!Moshieee: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...
M!Dia, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?
M!Dash, spraying M!Moshieee: You FUCKING DUMBASS!
M!Moshieee: Dude, I forgot-
M!Dash: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?
M!Bun: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*
••+^+••
M!Kay, about a fight between M!Moshieee and M!Dash: It scares me how many knives were involved.
M!Rabid: There… weren’t any knives involved though?
M!Kay: That’s what scares me.
••+^+••
M!Kay: Are you good?
M!Dash: In what sense?
M!Kay: Generally.
M!Dash: Oh, definitely not.
••+^+••
M!Kay: Hey, M!Moshieee, have you thought about having children?
M!Moshieee: ...
M!Moshieee: Does looking over you and the others not seem like I already do? Because I promise you, it sure feels like it.
M!Kay: But we're not childr-
M!Moshieee, already distracted: M!JEFFERY, PUT THE FIRE DOWN!
••+^+••
M!Kay: What do you think M!Rabid will do for a distraction?
M!Bun: They'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
M!Bun: ...or they could do that.
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: Remember, if you get captured, no matter what they do, don’t talk!
M!Dia: What if they torture us?
M!Moshieee: Just don’t talk!
M!Dia: Can we scream a little?
••+^+••
M!Rabid: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.
M!Jeffery: That’s a snake.
••+^+••
M!Rabid: Hey, about that love letter you sent me-
M!Jeffery: *blushes* What are your thoughts?
M!Rabid: The fourth sentence-
M!Jeffery: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I-
M!Rabid: It’s “you’re” not “your”.
••+^+••
M!Dia: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth.
M!Kay: Why?
M!Dia, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.
••+^+••
M!Rabid: M!Jeffery told me to stop being immature, so I told them to get out of my fort.
••+^+••
M!Dash: I just wanna be called cute 21/7.
M!Dia: Why no 24/7?
M!Dash: Snack breaks.
••+^+••
M!Rabid: What’s it like being tall?
M!Rabid: Is it nice?
M!Rabid: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?
M!Bun: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.
M!Dash: It was one time!
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!
••+^+••
M!Rabid: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons.
M!Bun, deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.
••+^+••
M!Bun: What’s sexting?
M!Moshieee: I'm not having this conversation with you.
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.
M!Rabid: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?
M!Dash: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.
M!Jeffery: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!
M!Kay: ...put it away.
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: M!Rabid told me that brown is just navy orange, and I have never been more disappointed with something I agree with.
••+^+••
M!Jeffery: How’s practice going?
M!Moshieee: Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.
M!Jeffery: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes.
M!Moshieee: …you shouldn’t be condoning this.
M!Jeffery: Don’t tell me how to live my life.
••+^+••
M!Dia: We need a plan to beat them.
M!Jeffery: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food.
M!Dia:
M!Jeffery: Judge me all you want, I get results.
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: I love you.
M!Dia: How many people have you said that to?
M!Moshieee: Everyone.
M!Dia: What?
M!Moshieee: I told everyone that I love you.
••+^+••
M!Kay: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.
M!Moshieee: Oh. We're going out?
M!Kay: Wh...
••+^+••
M!Dash: M!Dia, you're an asshole, man.
M!Dia: You are what you eat M!Dash.
••+^+••
M!Dia: I suppose you’re right. We really would be better off working together.
M!Moshieee: So, then… détente?
M!Dia: Agreed.
M!Moshieee: Understanding?
M!Dia: Possibly.
M!Moshieee: Cooperation?
M!Dia: Maybe.
M!Moshieee: Trust?
M!Dia: Out of the question.
••+^+••
M!Kay, playing a video game: How do I play?
*M!Kay has drawn first blood!*
*M!Kay is on a killing spree!*
*M!Kay is on a rampage!*
*M!Kay is unstoppable!*
*M!Kay is dominating!*
*M!Kay is godlike!*
M!Kay: Don’t worry guys, I figured it out.
••+^+••
M!Dia: We need a way to lure in new customers?
M!Moshieee: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!
M!Dash: M!Kay bath water.
M!Kay: ABSOLUTELY NOT!
••+^+••
M!Kay: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?
M!Rabid: Fake?
••+^+••
M!Dia: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?
M!Kay: M!Jeffery, probably.
••+^+••
M!Bun: Okay, two person huddle.
M!Jeffery: You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug.
••+^+••
M!Rabid: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.
••+^+••
M!Bun: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: I am an expert at identifying birds.
M!Bun: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?
M!Moshieee: Yeah, they're all birds.
••+^+••
M!Dash: I dropped M!Jeffery.
M!Moshieee: M!Dash, what the fuck.
••+^+••
M!Rabid: Hold on, I can explain!
M!Dash: Really? Can you now?
M!Rabid: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.
••+^+••
M!Jeffery: Wow. I keep stepping on a lot of crunchy twigs.
M!Dia: Those are bones, M!Jeffery.
M!Jeffery: *looks straight up* Not if I never look down.
#sona mafia#mafia sona#sona mafia au#mafia sona au#mafia AU#mafia dash#mafia dia#mafia jeffery#mafia moshieee#mafia bun#mafia rabid#mafia kay#mafia blacks incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes#mafia incorrect quotes
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tag game!! @bubblegumbarbie33 tagged me in hers!!
name: omg yall i have a online name and that is alex, but it is very basic lol. a few ppl call me carmen but most ppl just call me alex or lola.
zodiac sign: ok so ive been told im a gemini cancer cusp but ive also beem told im just a gemini or just a cancer. i myself think i am a cancer lol. my bday is june 21 (guys i have the same birthday as the lana del rey.)
personality type: ive taken the test lmao but i cannot remmeber. okok i looked it up and i am a Entrepreneur ESTP-A / ESTP-T whatever that means! anyway me and madonna have the same how cool is that??
before we hit the road, what snacks are you bringing along on this trip? - we go to the gas station and i pick up the same thing almost every time, unwrapped starbursts, a propel drink (prob watermelon) and whatever other candy i decide i need.
navigator gets to pick the music so what song are you turning on? - it really depends. if im with myself itll probaly be summer bummer lana del rey (or really any song off of btd or paradise) but if im with other ppl we gotta get hyped so baby got back.
what universe from a fantasy TV show would you like to visit? - new chucky series. jennifer likes women so i have a chance.
what about fantasy movies? - this is a lame af answer but i dont really watch fantasy stuff so prob leprechaun. cause you know jennifer aniston.
okay, how about sci-fi TV shows? - s3 stranger things, let me work with steve and robin at scoops ahoy.
Sci-fi movie universe? - under the dome. i wouldnt wanna stay for long but i wanna touch the dome and see what it feels like.
any other TV show or movie universes you'd like to swing by before we move on? - let me get a burger from bobs burgers. also i would like to go to shameless and hit on debbie.
okay hold on to your butts we're switching gears to the fanfic universes. Tell me which fanfic universe we're visiting first? -
Saltbox House On The Coast - Chapter 1 - Keyhouse - Outer Banks (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
ARCHIVEOFOUROWN.ORG
let me on this damn ship. (@keyh0use <3)
cool, do you have one more you'd like to stop at before we head home?
Silent as Sunlight - Chapter 1 - Pigzxo - Shameless (US) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
ARCHIVEOFOUROWN.ORG
i js wanna watch ian and mickey being cute (not in a creepy way js like they are so cute)
alright, on our way out of fanfic land you get to snag some tropes to bring home and apply to your own life, think fast!- soulmates, au, inspired by lana del rey ( @bubblegumbarbie33 props to you) meet ugly, mute cute, college.
wow, okay, hope those tropes work out for you!! our adventure has finally come to an end, where in the world am I dropping you off? - downtown Chicago. whenever it ell ppl i wanna live there they always say i only do for shameless and that is WRONG. ive always wanted to go there i belong there. ill just wander around petting all the dogs.
dont feel pressured yall butt @svetlanayevgenivna @sugar-spice-everything-vice @bees-flowers @keyh0use andd all my other mutuals i actually talk to have been tagged by @bubblegumbarbie33
#ok so i js copy and pasted the questions lol im so tired but i rlly wanted to do it#so no credits to me lol#this was soo fun#tag game#tagging game#tag meme#this was fun#i lovedddd this#sm#shameless#debbie gallagher#under the dome#chucky#bobs burgers#outerbanks
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I was bored and I found a
"Questions nobody asks"
Thing on the Internet, and I wanna do it 🤣 could consider it as a "get to know me" thing, I guess, haha. Gonna undercut though, because its kinda long. 🤍
1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?
Who the fuck goes to sleep with their closet doors open?! 🤣
2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS?
Ew no haha, because they tend to be shitty shampoos and conditioners. I'm very particular with what I put on my hair.
3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?
Out, I would feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable if my sheets were tucked in, I move around a lot in bed hahaha.
4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE?
Not a street sign no, I stole one of those big umbrellas from outside a pub once though🤣
5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES?
Not really. No reason to.
6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM?
Nope.
7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES?
I'm terrified of bees and wasps and shit like that hahaha, but I reckon my chance of survival would be higher with a swarm of bees?
8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES?
I do, under my makeup haha.
9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES?
Nope. 🤣
10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?
People trying to talk to me when I have earphones in. A VERY quick way to get on my fuckin nerves.
11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK?
No? 🤣
12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS?
Yes. 🤣
13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS?
.....Yes. 😅 (while camping in the middle of nowhere, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go)
14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERE’S NO MUSIC PLAYING?
All the time. 🤣
15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS?
I used to. Not so much these days.
16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK?
Well, I'm in a monogamous relationship, sooooo. One, lol.
17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED?
King.
18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK?
Helicopter Girl - Satan's Seventh Bride.
19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK?
Yeah? Sure? Why not?
20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS?
Yesssss.
21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE?
I can't even remember the name of it! Me and my mum are big horror fans, and we hunt for horror films together, and it was your standard, stereotypical folk move into a house. House is spooky. Spooky things happen ect. ect. ect. But it was FUCKING SHITE! 🤣 So THAT hahaha.
22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE, IF YOU HAD SOME?
Near a tree in a woods, then I'd leave a vague note just saying "Its under a tree in *name of woods* " 🤣 That's ALOT of ground to search, hahaha.
23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER?
Depends on what I'm eating.
24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN?
I'm a Tommy K gal. 🤣
25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?
I fucking LOVE Kinder Buenos.
26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE?
The HP films.
27. LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU?
My fella.
28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT?
I went to Rainbows when I was a little kid, then I went to Brownies (similar kinda thing as Scouts) but I ended up leaving brownies after only going twice because I HATED one of the brownie leader women 🤣
29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE?
Sure, why not? Haha.
30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER?
It's been a lonnnnng time since I've written a letter to someone. Phones exist now, haha.
31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR?
Yeah.
32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET?
Nope.
33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS?
Nope.
34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH?
Sandwiches in general are top tier scran, but I like meaty big ones 🤣
35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST?
A can of redbull and a cigarette. 🤣
36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME?
Depends on my sleeping pattern, sometimes a good 10/11pm sometimes 5/6am. 🤣🤣
37. ARE YOU LAZY?
Yes. Ain't even gonna lie lmao.
38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN?
I mentioned above that my mum likes horror, so she would dress me as things like Vampires, Werewolves, The Devil, general monsters haha, which is funny to me because we'd usually all go trick or treating together with my friends and their mums, and my friends would always be things like princess's lmao.
39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN?
Is that the same as Zodiac? I believe I'm the Rooster.
40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK?
Two.
41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS?
In 2023? No lol.
42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS?
Wtf are lincoln logs?! Hahaha. Legos.
43. ARE YOU STUBBORN?
Absolutely.
44. WHO IS BETTER: KIMMEL OR FALLON?
Who?
45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS?
Nah.
46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?
Nah I'm pretty good with heights.
47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR?
Every damn time. 🤣
48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
I don't actually haha, hum maybe, but not sing.
49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR?
As a passenger, yeah, sometimes.
50. EVER USED A GUN?
Yeah.
51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER?
At my last day of HS party (Prom basically)
52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY?
I just HATE musicals tbh. 🤣
53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL?
Not really.
54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI?
What? 🤣
55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE?
Cherry!
56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?
Honestly, I can't remember 😅
57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?
100%, I've seen one, don't expect people to believe me, but I know what I saw.
58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING?
All the time!!
59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY?
No, but I probably should lmao.
60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS?
Fuckin love a good pair of slippers.
61. DO YOU WEAR A BATHROBE?
Yeah.
62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED?
Depends on the weather.
63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT?
Nickelback 😅 (DON'T JUDGE ME!)
64. WALMART, TARGET, OR AMAZON?
Well, can't lie, 2 outta 3 of those we don't have in my country haha.
65. NIKE OR ADIDAS?
Adidas.
66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS?
Cheetos because I dunno wtf Fritos are haha.
67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS?
Peanuts!
68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP BLACK PINK?
Nope.
69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS?
Nope.
70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING?
It was never something I thought about, infact when I first met my fella I had no idea what he did for work, and never asked because it wasn't important to me 🤣 turned out he had a very good job and I was just like "Oh OK cool" haha.
71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE?
Yeah.
72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE?
I've never competed in one.
73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY?
Yessss 🤣
74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS?
Like Vinyl? I do actually haha, some Iron Maiden ones.
75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER?
My mum and Dad did. I don't.
76. DO YOU REGULARLY DIFFUSE OILS?
Yeah, daily, I love that shit haha.
77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Yeah :)
78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT?
Honestly, I don't really know, too many haha.
79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW?
It's been a while, but I went to a rock and blues weekend festival thing last year.
80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA?
Neither.
81. TEA OR COFFEE?
Neither.
82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES?
Don't know what either of those are 🤣 but Snickerdoodles sound DELICIOUS haha.
83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL?
Yeah I'm pretty decent.
84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE?
Yeah.
85. ARE YOU PATIENT?
NOOOOO 🤣
86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING?
Band.
87. EVER WON A CONTEST?
Yeah a few in my time haha.
88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY?
Define plastic surgery haha. I've had lip fillers a few times? Nothing crazy. Is that classed as PS though?
89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES?
NEITHER 🤮🤮 URGH.
90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET?
I used to be able to, been a long time since I have.
91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE?
The living room.
92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?
Yeeeeah one day, but we're chill. I'm engaged.
93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?
I'm not, yet.
94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH?
Oh my god, there was this lad called Jordan in my HS...He would like, tease me all the time though, I would call it "Soft bullying" 🤣 and I LOVED him LMFAO! 😅 I think thats why I like guys who can be abit of a bastard haha.
95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY?
Not really. But I'm a very "Babyyyyyyy? Can I get this?" Kinda gal, to get what I want 😅😅
96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Not yet.
97. DO YOU WANT KIDS?
I'd like to yeah.
98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
Purple.
99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW?
Not really.
~
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tagged by the most wonderful @yournowheregirl, @vecnuthy, @scarcrossdlvrs and @inairbinad to put my music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that come up, and then tag 10 people to do the same <33 love doing these sooooo much
Not the one (Movie Night)
I'll get the coffee (Kathryn Gallagher)
Vore (Sleep Token)
Like a drug (BRKN LOVE)
Something about us (Rayssa Dynta)
Problem (Natalia Kills)
It's time (Imagine Dragons)
sleeptalk (dayseeker)
second (Miki Ratsula)
kiss me when I'm dead (CARR)
(totally stealing bee's words here because they're brilliant and true) no pressure tags, i'm sure i'm double tagging ppl here but like - the venn diagram of mutuals in law is a fucking circle ok?
@legitcookie, @steves-strapcollection, @starryeyedjanai, @thefreakandthehair, @patchworkgargoyle, @stobinesque, @corrodedbisexual, @firefly-party, @sentient-trash and @oliver-sykes
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Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Bee Movie
According to all known laws of aviation... eh, forget it. You know the rest.
So uh... Bee Movie is surprisingly pretty good? Yeah, I know, I'm surprised too. I mean of course, Bee Movie is an Iconic Staple of Meme Culture and for good reason, its humor is just... probably some of the most insane shit out of Dreakworks ever (more on that in a bit). But it's also a pretty compelling roller coaster ride of a movie that held my rapt interest the whole way through???
So what's the story here? Barry B Benson is a bee who ventures outside the hive and meets a florist named Vanessa, whom he of course falls in love with (and she falls for him too, its fuckin weird man). Eventually, Barry discovers that humans make a profit off the backs of bees by selling their honey, so he decides to sue the entire human race. Yeah that's really the fuckin plot they came up with. It's fucking wild, man, from start to end.
Our characters here are just as wild to match that crazy ass plot. Barry is a snarky lil fella, but you can tell he cares about his... people? Bees? Idk man this movie has short circuited my brain. Anyway, Barry is a fun character to follow as our main. Vanessa is a little less developed and kind of all over the place personality wise, and well... she falls for a bee. Enough said. Barry's best friend Adam is cool, almost dies from stinging a guy, so that's fun. We also have Ken, Vanessa's ex-boyfriend who literally gets cuckolded by a bee this movie is actually insane.
The comedy here is just... ridiculous. Again, there's a reason why this movie has produced so many iconic memes. I cackled out loud at some of these jokes and references, many of which I imagine would probably go over a kid's head (the Sting and Ray Liotta jokes especially like... c'mon those are some deep cuts). It's kind of breaking the recent trend I've been noticing from Dreamworks where they're aiming down for a younger audience. Instead, Bee Movie harkens back to their earlier movies, aimed more at adults with blink and you miss them naughty jokes that are actually really funny here?
The animation is also like... insanely impressive for the time this came out? Some of the camera angles and movement on these bees is just... amazing? The flying scenes really make you feel like you're flying along with Barry, taking you through densely colorful and sometimes actually beautiful setpieces. I also enjoyed the worldbuilding inside of the hive and all of the little devices they use to produce honey. I feel like this movie is doing what Antz was trying to do, but accomplishing it so much better, with way less Rancid vibes than Antz had.
The music is also fairly solid, not as many pop songs as you'd expect from a memey movie like this, but the ones that are very are pretty good and backed by a competent score. I think my biggest gripe with this film is... well, it's a little all over the place and out of focus? Like one minute it's about Barry struggling to figure out what he wants to do with his relatively short life, then its about him falling for Vanessa, then its about suing the humans, then its about restarting pollenation so the entire planet won't shrivel up and die? (yeah did I mention this film has an environmental message?) Really, this movie is kind of just... a jack of all trades and a master of none? All of its various plots are ok, but none of them are standout fantastic. It's just... a little messy??
But really, I did enjoy myself watching this movie. I didn't think I was going to, because its been years since I've seen it and well, the internet rags on it all the time, but it's surprisingly well-made! It really is Dreamworks at their most Dreamworks (warts and all) and I think that's a testament to why its so memorable (in both good and bad ways lol). Anyway I just got one last thing to say before wrapping up this review:
Ya like jazz?
Overall Rating: 7/10
Verdict: Watch the Entire Bee Movie but every time they say literally anything the movie starts over until you die
Previous Review (Shrek the Third)
Next Review (Kung Fu Panda)
#jen watches#dreamworks watch#bee movie#jen tortures herself with every dreamworks animated movie ever#dreamworks
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ok, if the new directions ever had a halloween party here are some couples costumes i had in mind (note: there are overlapping ships and some of these things don't apply to the glee time period. pretend they're gen-z ok)
Tike: Katherine (Tina) and Jack (Mike) from Newsies. Of course Mike loves a good dance musical. And Tina wants to play Katherine someday.
Brittana: Joey (Brittany) and Uncle Jesse (Santana) from Full House. Britt thought it was so cute that Santana dressed up as Jesse when she was a kid, and Britt's convinced that they were a couple on that show. Lord Tubbington plays Michelle.
Faberry: Heather Chandler (Quinn) and Veronica (Rachel) from Heathers. It's just them.
St. Berry: JD (Jesse) and Veronica (Rachel) from Heathers. Both have that intensity in their relationship (but without the abuse and murder ofc)
Klaine: Leaf (Kurt) and Chip (Blaine) from The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. It would just be so cute and funny. Kurt makes both of the costumes (though it hurts him to have to intentionally make the cape look sloppy.)
Finchel: Barfee (Finn) and Olive (Rachel) from Spelling Bee. Rachel knew of the musical but Finn liked it much more. She was glad that he found an interest in a musical on his own so that's what they did. They practiced the Pas De Deux as well and it was a beautiful mess.
Samcedes: Ron (Sam) and Hermione (Mercedes) from Harry Potter. Mercedes was a closeted Potterhead for years. Sam only saw the movies (he has trouble reading due to his canon dyslexia) so Mercedes reads the books to him. She painted freckles on him and he got a red wig. Sam thought she looked INCREDIBLE in that uniform.
Bartie: Chrissy (Brittany) and Eddie (Artie) from Stranger Things. Sure, Britt's just playing another cute cheerleader in a different uniform, but they both love the show. Artie's wig is atrocious and beautiful.
Marlique: Gomez (Marley) and Morticia (Unique) from The Addams Family. It's unexpected but works so well.
Jarley: Voldemort (Jake) and Quirrel (Marley) from A Very Potter Musical. It's so nerdy but cute. They shuffle around back-to-back the entire night. Gotta commit to the bit.
Tartie: Doofenschmirtz (Tina) and Perry the Platypus (Artie) from Phineas and Ferb. It would be ridiculous but so fucking funny. Artie's special party trick is that he can make the Perry sound. Never fails to amaze people.
Pizes: Jack (Puck) and Rose (Lauren) from Titanic. They both secretly love romantic dramas. They recreate the iconic "I'm flying" pose and Puck carries a notebook with him the whole night for realism.
#summer says stuff#glee#glee headcanons#tike#brittana#faberry#st. berry#klaine#finchel#samcedes#bartie#marlique#jarley#tartie#pizes#tina cohen chang#mike chang#brittany pierce#santana lopez#quinn fabray#rachel berry#jesse st. james#kurt hummel#blaine anderson#finn hudson#sam evans#mercedes jones#artie abrams#marley rose#unique adams
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Yes! Thank youuuu @goldcrumble for this I truly need it now. I’m sitting in Kelowna waiting for the worst year of my life to be over in the most unremarkable way (binging on paw patrol with my nephew) and what better way to do it than this? Beware, long ass essay incoming.
When did you become a Louie? (This is about to get loooong)
I love talking about this because it’s such an interesting journey for me compared to other artists I love. I used to watch British reality tv with my grandma every year and that of course includes x-factor and strictly come dancing (and the GBBO, sewing bee, BGT etc..it was unhealthy) which usually start around the same time. We started with x-factor when leona lewis won until the last season with Louis as judge. So yes of course I watched the one with 1D and I was rooting for them during the show (and Louis was my LEAST fav only because I’d watch the xtra factor and the video diaries and he was SO loud and obnoxious and basiclly everything I find annoying in a person. Sorry it was what it was. Anyway after that season I never paid them any attention but we continued watching x-factor year after year. I've mentioned this before but when Louis was announced as the judge in 2018 I remember telling my grandma that it’s probably to draw in the 1D fans because the show was so bad at that point. Obviously I said it with eyes rolled and thinking ‘they really think they’re gonna save this shit with a kid from a boyband?’. Little did I know this guy will ruin me. Anyway as a non fan and someone who really didn’t know anything about the guy I absolutely loved him as a judge..so like a couple of weeks in I read his entire wikipedia and was 100% drinking the ‘reconnected and in love with his long term gf and has a kid with a one night stand from LA’ koolaid. And I listened to his singles at the time, loved them, added them to one of my Anghami playlist and it was chill for a while.
I have never been in a music fandom before..I’ve been in the football fandom (esp livejournal) for ages and also several movies/tv shows and books. I think most of the music I listen to are either from bands who are dead or there just isn’t a fandom big enough to exist…or I haven’t found it. Dunno..just never got into one. SO on a flight from oslo in 2019 I was reading a fic from another fandom and in the author’s note there was something about being inspired by a Larry fic and I vaguely remembered who the Larry ship is about. So when I clicked it and saw that it was THE Louis T, I went into my second rabbit hole and saw all these news singles he has out and an album that was about to come out and a show in Toronto and wow so much excitement all at once. Booked the tickets for the show which were later cancelled due to covid and then never got to see the ltwt live (rip hearing defenceless live). After that I didn’t follow up with him, I didn’t even know lthq was a thing ffs. When people say that they need to promote things on his personal IG, it’s for people like ME! Anyhoo! I still never searched him up on Tumblr until one day by chance I saw a clip from a livestream on instagram of one of his earlier shows in Texas. I didn’t even know concert livestreams were a thing tbh. So I kept on monitoring to find the source until I got to finally watch an entire show (I think it was the 4th American one, a few before the chicken nugget incident) and then somehow that led me to Tumblr and slowly I started following very very few blogs. So when did I become a Louie really? Was it 2018 when I was like ok the dude is cool I like the couple of songs he has out? Or 2019 when I booked my first concert ticket? Or in 2022 when I found the fandom on Tumblr? Also I got into 1D when I read that wiki page and it said something about him having the most writing credits. It intrigued me and was like ‘fine! I’ll give them a go I guess!’
your favourite song? (one off walls and one off fitf)
We Made It. All this time (if you ask tomorrow it might jump between Saturdays or holding onto heartache or she is beauty)
your favourite music video?
Miss you! The hair, the song.
your favourite gig?
Toronto one because I was anticipating it for sooooo long and it fully lived up to it. Esp after spending the entire 2022 watching livestreams and being jealous af. The new york one was good too but my home show will always be my fav
your favourite louis hair?
X-factor hair.
your favourite louis interview?
Oof man this is hard! They all kinda get mixed together so either a Zach lang one (probably the first one because it sticks in my memory more since I saw it right when it came out) or one of the buzzfeed ones like the snack wars or the one he did with the yellow background (man I’m lazy as shit, I can literally YouTube this).
suit louis or tanktop louis?
Suit Louis. Literally anything but tank top louis. I know I’m the only one in this boat but I just don’t dig tank tops. I think it’s also the fact that he almost always wears hideous shoes with them that kinda kill the look. If I had to be specific, I’d say tracksuit Louis.
favourite louis tattoo?
I’d also go with the x&o’s
favourite louis bodypart? (c'mon we all have one!)
I immediately thought his eye crinkles but realized that’s not a body part. Maybe hands or the veiny neck??I love a neck with passionate veins (what even am I saying??)
—-
I think my small Louis loving mutuals have either already done this or have been tagged, so it ends with ME!
And with that I shall wish everyone a genocide free 2024! A free Palestine! And an end to this fucking massacre!
Back to watching Marshall and Skye on PP.
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15 questions, 15 mutuals
i was tagged by @hxilstorm, thank you!!
1. are you named after anyone? middle name! i have the same one as my great uncle who died right before i was born :( they were going to give me his first name if i was born a boy
2. when was the last time you cried? last week i cried a little bit during a panic attack :/
3. do you have kids? noooooope and hopefully this'll be true for a while. i want them but not anytime soon
4. do you use sarcasm a lot? yes. but OK same as bee i am very sarcastic but i'm autistic and cannot pick up on other peoples sarcasm
5. what sports do you play/have you played? i used to play a bit of basketball but i was bad. never again
6. what’s the first thing you notice about people? ohh i think noses...... or hair
7. what’s your eye colour? blue and green! i have my dads unfortunately
8. scary movies or happy endings? SCARY MOVIES i love sad endings anyway. we all know i'm a horror whore
9. any special talents? i'm double jointed in my toes? is that anything? OH i can also cry on command
10. where were you born? north carolina!
11. what are your hobbies? oh god um i have a few.... gifmaking, playwriting, music production sometimes and uhh i'm a bit of a gamer myself
12. do you have pets? uh-huh!! i have a pitbull mix named chico :')
13. how tall are you? 5'5" i think
14. favourite subject in school? i wasn't traditionally schooled (outschool) so this was kinda scattered but i enjoyed science and art-centric classes a lot!
15. dream job? actor tbh! i've been doing it ever since i was tiny and its always just been my favorite thing
i taaaag (if you haven't done this before!): @mxgyver, @ellies, @roykentt, @vclyrias, @iero, @transgenrefilm, @simonandgarfunkie, @leftofus, @demolvr, @rememberingnoah, @firelitsparks, @edwardsmunson, @lesbianantlerqueen, @helenekuragina, @yourprayer
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Yayyy thank you for tagging me @jennifersbodycore! 💞
Last song you listened to: 'A Message to You Rudy' by The Specials
Last movie you watched: AS YOU KNOW it was The Fly (1986). To defend my reputation for a moment, I HAVE seen several other Cronenberg films as well as the 1958 original, it is just a weird oversight that I hadn't seen this until now
Currently watching: WWDITS s5, The Orville (it's actually better than you think ok), Columbo, Guy Montgomery's Guy Mont-Spelling Bee, also about to start Ghosts s5 and The Strain
Other things you've watched this year: Wow this question is ableist. How the fuck am I supposed to remember when I watched stuff if time isn't real and neither am I. Ummm to confine myself to shows/seasons that came out this year: TLOU, The Most Upsetting Guessing Game in the World, OFMD, Beef, OMITB s3, Jury Duty, Aunty Donna's Coffee Cafe, ???
Currently reading: Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica. My dad bought it for me for my birthday and I said I would save it for spooky season so now I have to finish it by Tuesday but MAN is this book a bummer! I don't usually find cannibalism this disturbing but yikes
Currently listening to: A lot of soul and worldbeat music, an audiobook of Dracula, and I am tragically up to date on every single one of my podcasts so I'm doing another relisten of TWIOAT but not a very organised one, just kind of dipping in. If I were to sit quietly with my thoughts for even a single moment it would be a disaster
Currently working on: I always have a million half-finished creative projects that I may or may not pick back up at any time. Thinking of doing NaNo this year so that's percolating
Current obsession: I'm kind of between hyperfixations right now but I guess I would have to say David Cronenberg's The Fly (1986) and also Jekyll & Hyde by RLS which I just finished the other day. So I guess maybe "monsters who fuck" is my current obsession idk
Tagging @touchofflesh if you want! Also anyone who wants to do it just say I tagged you. In my heart I did tag you
#if you saw my typos and stray html tags no you didn't#oh i forgot i'm watching rick & morty too#i thought ep 1 was not great but ep 2 was actually an all-timer so
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*insert Bee Movie "D'ya Like Jazz?" meme here*
song recs time! I got a coupla jazzy ones, funky ones, and jazz-adjacent ones for ya :D
MAD RIDING by Masaru Imada
meet me in september by Bill Wurtz
That Life by Unknown Mortal Orchestra
Space 1 by Nala Sinephro
There Is A Place by Maisha
Sini Ka Dja by Baba Sissoko
Ice V by King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard
no worries about listening to them all - feel free to just pick whatever entices you - but they be some recs for you or anyone else who sees this :D
preemptively, i dont tend to enjoy jazz (which is insane because i used to literally play jazz in school) or like, instrumentals in general besides bittune or lo-fi, but im really excited to hear these songs :D
send me song recs!
MAD RIDING by Masaru Imada
couldn’t listen all the way through | not my thing | it’s okay | kinda catchy | ok i really like this | downloading immediately | already in my library
this is a BOP but not something i would ever listen to on my own LMAO i prefer songs with lyrics over pure instrumental!! i think this would rule if i heard it in a video game though
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meet me in september by Bill Wurtz
couldn’t listen all the way through | not my thing | it’s okay | kinda catchy | ok i really like this | downloading immediately | already in my library
love bill wurtz <3 i dont listen to him very often since i gotta be in a specific mood for his music, but his music is always so awesome!!!
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That Life by Unknown Mortal Orchestra
couldn’t listen all the way through | not my thing | it’s okay | kinda catchy | ok i really like this | downloading immediately | already in my library
off topic slightly: obsessed with the album art for this LMAO. anyways YEAAAH I LOVE THIS!! i love singers with rougher/scratchier voices so this is tickling my brain real nicely. big fan!!
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Space 1 by Nala Sinephro
couldn’t listen all the way through | not my thing | it’s okay | kinda catchy | ok i really like this | downloading immediately | already in my library
another one where i just. like. lyrics ghfdghbdfhj but im tossing this straight into my homework playlist because it has the exact same vibe as my lo-fi stuff - which i have just now realized i dont need anymore. i graduated. huh. well, its in there anyways!
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There Is A Place by Maisha
couldn’t listen all the way through | not my thing | it’s okay | kinda catchy | ok i really like this | downloading immediately | already in my library
probably not particularly surprising with my previous answers, lol. i think this one is very intense which i enjoy, id probably love seeing this performed live! oooh or at a dramatic reveal in a movie!!! but not something id listen to casually
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Sini Ka Dja by Baba Sissoko
couldn’t listen all the way through | not my thing | it’s okay | kinda catchy | ok i really like this | downloading immediately | already in my library
i really liked the energy of this one! very good to bob my head along to. just not my kind of music :0 i liked the singing at the end a lot, i wish the entire thing was that LMAO
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Ice V by King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard
couldn’t listen all the way through | not my thing | it’s okay | kinda catchy | ok i really like this | downloading immediately | already in my library
very bold to send a ten minute song. i am not listening to all that. to give it a fair shot though, i listened to it while i detangled my tablet wires, which took about 4 minutes and 30 seconds! it was neat, i liked it. another very video game feel one to me
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hi minnow! 🎹 and 👑 for the ask game? :]
hi bee!!!
🎹 Favorite songs to listen to while regressed?
a lot of stuff from musicals aimed at kids!! mostly movies! oh heres my chance to share my tiny time spotify mix thats over 16 hours lol
link
👑 Favorite Disney character?
theres so many!!!!! my favorite princesses are tiana and rapunzel i think, but uh!! ok ill choose randomly out of my armful of faves: Lucky from 101 Dalmatians, specifically from the 90s show!
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Shall we recount what Harry and Louis would have to avoid to not “Larrybait”? Ok let’s
Blue and green together, in all their shades
Any two colors together that inverted would look like any shade of blue and green
Harry: the entire spectrum of blue, including lilac
Louis: the entire spectrum of green
Harry: any and all objects with a 90 degree angle, or an obtuse angle that’s not flat (hint: it may look like an L)
Shania Twain’s discography
The number 28
Any numerology that can add to 28, including: two dates separated by 28 days
The 2nd of august, the 8th of February
Dates where all the numbers add to 28
Dates where the day + month + last two digits of the year add to 28
Dates where day day + month add to 28
Any two significant dates that have 28 days, weeks, months, between them
All of the above but for 82
Any number that can add to 28 (for instance, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and no I’m not kidding, HSHQ’s instagram has HSHQ1234567 when it was first created, so fans wouldn’t find it, and Larries said it added to 28, so #proof, which makes a lot of sense considering it’s fucking HSHQ!!! You know? The ones keeping them in the closet?)
Any number that can be subtracted to 28
Any number that can be multiplied to 28
All of the above but with 82
Avoid doing anything 28 times: clapping, yelling, saying “yeah”, pausing for 28 seconds (remember that “seconds” are arbitrarily counted). Don’t be photographed 28 times, or wear 28 suits, or walk 28 steps, etc
Rainbows
The colors pink, lilac, lavender, and other feminine coded colors
Glitter, sparkles, polka dots, and other feminine coded things
Flowers and floral patterns, and other feminine coded patterns
Accessories (jewelry, bags, hats) the slightest heel in shoes, you know, women stuff
Makeup of any kind, once again, women stuff
Don’t reference/like/talk about the same music, which should be easy enough since they’re both musicians 👍
Don’t reference/like/talk about pop culture references, even if directly asked
DANGER DANGER DANGER
Same as above for books movies or tv shows
Harry: avoid ADIDAS, and frankly all sportswear
Louis: avoid GUCCI, and frankly anything that isn’t straight out of a GAP catalog
Don’t write romantic songs
Don’t write sexual songs
Funnily enough, also don’t write breakup songs
Political songs will just be twisted anyway, so don’t write those either
Avoid bees
Louis: stay away from butterflies, moths, ships, anchors, anything nautical really, mermaids, crosses
Harry: stay away from anything nautical
Avoid skulls
Avoid beards and all conversations about facial hair
Harry: stay the fuck away from ALL DOGS
Deny Larry, it’s weird that you haven’t denied it in a while
Don’t deny Larry, why are you even talking about it unless you have something to hide?
Don’t be seen, why are you seeking attention? Are you trying to hide something?
Be seen, why are you hiding? Are you spending time with your husband?
Touch your significant other every time you set foot outside your house, otherwise it’s a fake relationship
Why are you touching your significant other? Aren’t you “private”? It’s PR
I’m tired already, but I could probably write 100 of these
😂😂😂😂😂 LOLLL but so accurate 😭
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Ykno the two things i want in this world are awesome sexy badass horns and a way to have everyhing hurt less all the time so if i ever play dnd again my characters gonna b a tiefling w mobility aids n they will live out my dream and be awesome and cool. And kill ppl w hammers. The end goodnight im so tired and my back hurts so much anddd gonna finish off gomens2 tmrw bc yeaaaaa ok
Actually no yknow how sometimes u get like phrases that circulate round n round in ur head yknow. Like. Sometimes itll just be a noise ive heard a lot in the day or w/e. Rn i have like 3. Onebein the charlie slimecicle corn video but specifically the "whats up mother shuckers my name is cornelius cornwall whatevwr the fuck idk man the third" part. Another is some southern old guy sayin "yknow back in my day we didnt have" and then it cuts off there n loops. Another is actually alsooooo fuckinnnn. Its a bitb song itsss wandering around galloway. Its bee playin on repeat like my own custom horror movie bg music except its rlly unfitting for my current situation. And the final thing is amth that is just always circulating my head, and its the conversation err fuckinnn nathan n chloe have in lis rght before nathan shoots chloe fuck ok omg i forgot nathans name 4 a second bc lik i KNEW it was nathan but i was like dude what if im making this up bc of nathan hanover bc his musics in my head rn but nah hes nathan prescott. Got a lotta nathans in my head. Got a charlie and a Old Guy and a nathan and a nathan and a chloe. Wowie. Anyways my heads bein soooo loud rn like i also got rolan deep in on this action talkin abt shoelaces. Ok yea bye mother shuckers im sleepy tired now anddd tmrw i bake cookies w my frienddd anddd watch gomensss andddd maybe watch some more prime defenders oooo i keep typing pride defenders by accident but that works 2 those mother fuckers r gay ashell godnight
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Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Shrek the Third
Figured I'd knock one more of these out tonight, and of course, its yet another Shrek. People tend to not really like this one that much, and I barely remembered anything about it going in. So is it any good or does it belong a one way trip back to the swamp?
Shrek the Third kicks off with Fiona's dad croaking (literally), which leaves Shrek to look for the next heir to the throne of Far Far Away, Arthur. Meanwhile, Prince Charming is back with a hostile takeover of Far Far Away, while Fiona and her princess friends set out to stop him. There's also the fact that Fiona is pregnant, leaving Shrek with plenty of insecurities about becoming a father. So yeah, a lot is going on in this plot, but you know? It balances most of it surprisingly well!
Our returning cast is still just as fun as usual; I kinda find it funny how we keep getting more and more insecurity plotlines for Shrek with each of these movies, it just seems to be a reoccuring trend for the poor guy huh. As for the new characters, we get Artie, who I thought I was gonna hate but he actually turns out to be a really good character? A big ol bundle of insecurities, just like Shrek, so the two of them actually end up developing a really nice bond as the movie goes along, one that's clearly meant to show Shrek that hey, maybe this whole being a dad thing won't be impossible for him after all.
As for the other characters, we have the princesses, who are all pretty funny in their own way as they take the piss out of the Disney versions of themselves. Merlin is fucking great here, he doesn't have a lot of screentime, but what screentime he does get, I was in stitches for. Prince Charming is back, this time as our main villain and... he's ok, but he just ain't really able to fill his mama's shoes as a standout baddie, sorry.
The comedy is actually pretty strong? I do think this movie has a problem though in that it tries much harder than it should to be funny? Like the first two movies were just... idk, naturally hilarious, but this one kind of tends to force its humor a lot? That humor also aims much more juvenile than the first two, leaning less on innuendo and more on... toilet humor and grossout jokes. Yay, my favorite...
The animation is ok, not superb, though I think that's kind of par for the course with Shrek movies at this point. The music is also surprisingly mid? Not as many pop songs this time around, and the ones that are there aren't anything nearly as memorable as All Star or I Need a Hero.
At the end of the day, I think people are maybe... a bit too hard on this movie? It's nowhere near as great as Shrek 1 and 2, that's for sure, but it's also not the worst thing ever? It's completely watchable, by all accounts. Even if it is a bit too tryhard for it's own damn good.
Overall Rating: 6/10
Verdict: Put it in the cringe collection
Previous Review (Flushed Away)
Next Review (Bee Movie)
#jen watches#dreamworks watch#jen tortures herself with every dreamworks animated movie#shrek#shrek the third#dreamworks
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i would read your candyman dissertation ms garak-pussy-indulgence
There's so much I want to say I cannot get it all out into one post like how do I organize that shit.
Ok number one. the fuck. Jesus okay wait there are so many takes I have about this movie
First off I love that it's an elaboration on a typical horror movie. They lay out the "there's a scary guy who appears in the mirror when you say his name and kills you with his hook" premise in the first FIVE MINUTES and the rest of the movie is spent going BEYOND THAT. You could definitely just make a movie about Candyman killing a dwindling party of teens or whatever the whole time or and have yourself a slasher film. But no. No!!!?! The movie decides to keep going further and explore What That Means. What is an urban legend? Is an urban legend itself a phantom? Can enough people manifest these things simply by believing in them? Is Candyman real? It's uncertain for the whole film if he was a real entity, or if Helen just invented him and she was the actual person doing the killings like everyone assumed. Was it both? Can you lose control to a character you create in your own head? Let me tell you about what happened when I was 15. I'm not gonna do that but listen it's about the belief. He needs the faith of his congregation. The swarm of bees in his chest and the constant pervasive choir in the film's score represents the masses who believe in the Candyman, who are afraid of him, who tell each other stories and warn others about him. That gives him life. He exists and lives as rumor and thrives in other people's words. Fuck. Fuck. ALSO. Love the takes on gentrification and minority communities in urban areas. When Helen's taking her lil pictures of the apartments for her college project and Anne-Marie comes out of her door like "Hi I fucking live here and I am a person actually." The whole story of the white woman involving herself in shit that she doesn't need to be part of just because she won't take any of it seriously and just wants to do her creepypasta research on the scary ghetto location where a real person actually died. This is the only shit I'm going to talk on Helen no disrespect to her I love her and that's probably not the biggest thing you're supposed to take away from the film but it's a take I formed in my brain. Another take I formed is that Helen and Bernadette are in love. Also when people say horror is about love they mean Candyman only because nobody else is doing it like this fucking film from 1992 alright. Bitches love the romantic murder men. Tony Todd has it nailed. Weirdo men wanting to kill me is not okay that happens all the time. Gentlemen wanting to kill me and being very polite and gentle about it? I love u I trust you I'm absolutely on board. Straight up I want to be killed romantically if I die in any way at all. Phillip Glass wrote the most lovely killer gorgeous breathtaking bounce-off-the-fucking-walls-and-burrow-into-the-earth-with-my-hands score for this film and this movie would NOT be what it is if not for the music. Absolutely fucking not. Just listen to the soundtrack or I will fucking find you do not test me. It's so much. You're gonna play absolutely celestial divine music that sounds like purest form of love while the scary guy is coming to stab you? Nobody is fUCKING doing it like this movie. It's the bliss of it all. Man door hand hook car door is gonna get ya but for some reason you're absolutely floating on a cloud made of pure light and he's also your boyfriend. Everything is on fire including you and you could not be more at peace. This movie gives me emotions I require to survive. Love, acceptance, bliss, predestination. It's meant to be this way and everything will be alright. Also Ted Raimi is in it.
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Welp it’s about time I made one of these, considering I’m a blog of mostly other peoples content
The list of fandoms I tend to reblog from!
This is just a list of things I have reblogged before and may again in the future, and I cannot guarantee that I will reblog them all at the same frequency
(in Alphabetical Order):
Various Animes:
Blue Period
Brand New Animal
Carole and Tuesday
Cells at Work
Erased
Given
Hetalia
Horimiya
Komi Can’t Communicate
Little Witch Academia
My Hero Academia
Ouran High School Host Club
Princess Tutu
Romantic Killer
Sailor Moon
Sk8 The Infinity
Spy x Family
The Disastrous Life of Saiki K
And others…
Various Disney Properties:
Amphibia
Ducktales
Gravity Falls
Phineas and Ferb
Star Wars
Tangled: The Series
The Owl House
And others…
Various Movies:
Klaus (2019)
Megamind
Puss In Boots: The Last Wish
The Tinkerbell Movies
Treasure Planet
Wish Dragon
And others…
Various Musicals:
Beetlejuice
Matilda The Musical
Hamilton
Spongebob The Musical
And others…
Various Other Properties:
Andi Mack
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Bee and Puppycat
Carmen Sandiego
Codename: Kids Next Door
Danny Phantom
Dead End: Paranormal Park
Ever After High
Fandomstuck / Socialstuck
Good Omens
Goncharov (1973)
Green Eggs and Ham
Heartstopper
Hilda
Homestuck / Hiveswap
Infinity Train
Kid Cosmic
Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts
Lego Monkie Kid
Lego Ninjago
OK KO: Let’s Be Heroes
Sanders Sides
Studio Ghibli
The Amazing World of Gumball
The Babysitters Club
The Dark Crystal
The Dragon Prince
The Good Place
And others…
Various Videogames:
Ace Attorney
Dreamtalia
Henry Stickmin
Kingdom Hearts
Ni No Kuni
Persona 4
Persona 5
Riddle School
Undertale / Deltarune
Underworld Office / Charlie In Underworld
And others…
Various Webtoons:
Castle Swimmer
Cursed Princess Club
Love Me To Death
Room of Swords
The Makeup Remover
And others…
Additionally, fandoms I sometimes reblog from despite not being a part of their communities!
Some are old fandoms of mine, some are recent fandoms that I’m not too invested in, and the rest are a bunch of things I have never seen before in my life but find fun regardless. I’m weird like that
(in Alphabetical Order):
Adventure Time
Aphmau
Barbie Movies
DC Comics / DCU
Epic Mickey
Epithet Erased
Final Fantasy
Haikyuu
Invader Zim
Marvel Comics / MCU
MCYT / DSMP
Miraculous Ladybug
My Little Pony
Pokémon
Powerpuff Girls Z
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Sonic the Hedgehog
Speed Racer
Spider-Man
Star Vs the Forces of Evil
Steven Universe
Super Mario Brothers
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The Golden Girls
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Total Drama
Twisted Wonderland
Voltron: Legendary Defender
We Bare Bears
My Original Content usually goes untagged but you can check out #Muffin Moments and #Gasp An Ask for some of what goes up in my noggin
DNI if you identify with, support, or participate in any of the following criteria:
Homophobia, Transphobia, Aphobia or Aspec Exclusion, Islamophobia, Xenophobia, Antisemitism, Sexism, Racism, Nazism, Pedophilia, Incest, Proshipping, Shipping IRL People, or Harassing People About Veganism
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