where's wally with this but with damian because apparently he's in this somewhere (according to the comments) and i cant spot him at all. why he would be in pride art anyway is anyone's guess.

s9 pause is real, u just can't see him

apologies for small text, the page itself is super small

tbhhh the op of this is kind of right dont get me wrong they went about it very poorly and very centred on their own view without considering the experiences of others so i completely understand where the criticism is coming from & also some of their reasoning is not great like i don’t believe ‘autistic people are EXTREMELY disconnected from the world around us’ or that not understanding NTs will turn you into a narcissist HOWEVER i do believe radicalisation and moral rigidity are for real things that affect autistic people disproportionately - not just alt-right, but any kind of extremism, religious fundamentalism, cults, etc. and also on a shallower level ive seen autistic ppl disproportionately swept up in like shipping discourse or whatever which does cause pretty serious negative impacts to their wellbeing (including like kids being groomed through it).  i think there are people who KNOW to take advantage of vulnerable autistic people in this way and we should all be looking out for it and learn how to protect the more vulnerable members of our community. like i dont know if theyre trying to claim autistic n/zis shouldnt be held accountable or whatever and if they are then obviously thats insane, but when u follow the trials and start to see how many like extremist attackers are autistic you cant just turn away from that. from my perspective like addressing the vulnerability of autistic people to certain types of radicalisation could save the lives of their victims sooo i dont think we should avoid doing it... and i get its difficult bc u dont want to look like ur saying autistic ppl are more likely to do xyz bad thing, its just that autistic people (esp white men/boys) are especially vulnerable to online radicalisation and thats a fact... like obviously the goal is to have people who could never be convinced to harm other human beings, but if you have a certain number of those people in the population and its specifically autistic men who are being radicalised to act on it, thats a specific problem?? its not about the individuals, being like ‘oh this mass murderer is autistic so we should all forgive him’, its like on a systemic level lets acknowledge that autistic people are disproportionately vulnerable to radicalisation so we can address that and prevent it in the future... i also think, like i’ve talked about before, that the way society handles autistic boys is insanely toxic in a way that FREQUENTLY produces young men who are a danger to the people around them - NOT inherently bc of autism but bc of a particularly toxic form of male socialisation which we can literally prevent (particularly by increased visibility autistic women & autistics of colour bc just our existence is so combative to harmful stereotypes abt autism) so i think its important to include the gender & race elements when talking abt this kind of radicalisation, but i also think as the other side of that coin autistic women are more vulnerable to cult programming and other forms of radicalisation where the victim is you rather than others & op omitting that is frustrating and undermines their point but i think its super important to talk abt. does that make sense like ugh its hard to figure out how to summarise what im getting at but ive literally been noticing disproportionate numbers of autistic ppl involved in extremism and its like ok so is the correct response just to ignore that or

Which star quality of your's makes you admirable?

Happy Cancer season to all

General reading ,take what resonates leave what doesn't

Short reading /intuitive reading

Pics not mine credits to their rightful owners, i do not own any pictures

Note-i'm just here to deliver what you need to know not what you want to hear so please respect my space+tarot is not to be replaced with legal or medical advice its upto you how you take decisions and use it for your highest goods .

Decision is always yours i'm not responsible for it ,see ya at your pile!!

Take a deep breath and choose your pile (:

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Pile 1 . Pile2.

Pile3. Pile4

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Pile 1 : (Neptune)

Leader quality

Ok you guys big dick energy-

I'm getting this vibe from , the type of individuals who dont give others false hopes,you pull them out of their shells in the best way possible,you guys are not that leader who just do whatever they feel like you guys are the one's who's listening to others ideas , letting people express themselves and building the stable foundation within them through your actions and your words .

Others feel ...you are like a coconut ,tough exterior on the outside soft in the inside its quite wholesome if you ask me ,i'm getting you guys could be very innovative with your ideas & your solutions and how you use them in your daily life ,you guys teach them to be yourself not what others told them to be .

I dont see you guys being hopeless or dissapointed for the longest time you guys rise above your challanges and thats admirable,its like you guys have so much little good things about you but you're still humble.

>Random signs:

August ,lemona ,strike ,sugar ,smile i feel like you guys have this beautiful smile ,C ,9 ,2 , big fans of football, recently purchased a purse or suit ,likes vintage things ,9h &3 h placements , intimidating,initimacy others might find you intimidating in the initial meetingz , zero tolerance,public , school, B country? Cancer sun ,virgo moon ,leo rising ,neynar ,west hollywood, short hairs ,shiny eyes ,gold ? , J,h,S,D,A, gemini placements.

> "People" song because i feel like you are the one who recognise others presence so they dont feel invisible like "people"

Pile 2 : (Heart)

Ok my power rangers

you guys are present when others need you the most , you're having a panic attack? I'm here , you're afraid to walk alone? I'm coming ...you guys are THAT people its like randomly you guys apoear in others life and make it meaningfully ,i feel like you guys attract a lot of broken people , others admire you for your generosity, you give them strength by just being there ,i feel like you guys are gonna meet someone *Random* but i feel like this person could be taurus or aquarius they are coming in with a offer which will help you expand your inner circle.

You guys are the type of person who stand up for other people if someone is making snarky comments you are the first one to interrupt them and make them realise how they are choosing to behave is wrong,you guys are my power speakers , people feel a deep connection with you its like someone finally understands them ,your energy is very comfortable to be around,you have a big heart is what others feel about you .

people might remember you as someone who has helped them in their lowest ,when they just needed one push to achieve their goals ,you guys provide them with guidance and thats what is admirable nor everyone is ready to invest their time or check up on people ,you dont overreacting and you understand their situation and where they are coming from.

>Random signs:

Leo placements,9h , cancer 2nd house ,6th virgo ,m , sticker ,april ,sweets?, Ferry ,glue ,tan ? ,Veron vasu? ,F ,9,5,8,4 significant dates ,watched Rapunzel recently, sold out tickets , education,aries 5h ,pluto 12h ,3h , recently broke up ,likes braids ,wears baggy black clothes ,red? Significant here ,quick to react/respond.

>Kitsch because i feel you guys shine bright but don't give yourself enough credits ,So Kitsch is here to hype you up:

Pile 3: (teddy )

I love your liberal thinking,you guys are the type of individuals who understand other people,community ,things on a deeper level you are not quick to draw judgements by listening to one side of the story ,you guys might be silent observer's?

Others feel comfortable around you ,they can be themselves on the other hand you guys realise the importance of respect and accepting people,i wont be surprise if you guys are that friend who's always including everyone, listening to each person ,etc.

Your words hold weight they just dont come from nowhere or you're not talking in the air ,i'm sensingthe star quality here where others are naturally drawn to your empathic nature in hopes of finding a feeling of home , others feel like you are a gift like a good thing after a long period of destruction.

Other signs:

Z , Champaign, Artist ,leo on the ascendant,had a rebirth ,isa writer? Cats ? Lips others might gossip abt you , Engineer crew , corazon , sandeigo , M actor? Spider , 489 ,515 ,606 ,virgo in the 3rd , Neptune influence, libra ? , Justin , summer, lgbtq , dancer , taurus2nd , saturn11th house ,demonology ,fire dominant.

>Calm down because you guys touch people's soul which your energy ,which is unforgettable because others remember your presence lifetime :

Ik its a sexual song but in this song sel is singing about being intoxicated by her lovers energy thats why i included.

Pile 4: (Fishy)

Backbone of society

This might be my fav pile i feel like you guys make things happen,you could be very good at manifesting? You guys are probably connected to nature in some way i feel like people are naturally drawn to your aura and your personality ,what you present or put out there ? You could be content creators,others feel a sense of calmness with you its like they can relax they feel light talkin'with you ,i feel like people wonder abt you a lot they see you have been through some tough challanges but you still have proven everyone wrong by your hardwork , its like a quality of inner strength

people find you very friendly and soft like a person they'd wanna have a drink with,they remember your words for the longest time ,others appreciate your presence they feel like you are extremely keen on details a good worker who can get them ahead ,you might even encounter possesive individuals .i feel like you dont go by the flow at all you are just comfortable being w/yourself.

Honestly this might be my famous pile people love how groundound and relient you are its like you remind them of their sweet childhood memories,they find you very vibrant and the way you talk is uplifting in some kind of way ? ...i feel like people click with you because of your similiar interests however i get the feeling you guys might be introverted or shy its like you are just so damn noticable, people want to talk to you or get to know you better ,they see your potential .

They feel like you guys are transformational and it makes others shook to the core i feel like you guys have this brilliant ideas that you keep hidden . People admire your ability to inspire believe it or not (: others notice random things about you ? ,They feel like you are in deceptive relationships and that you need better judgements about others

Random signs:

Eagle ,posts ,cruel ,place to be ,sandwitched drama ? , Finding you , carnival,jet pilot , blackberry ,taurus rising moon ? entertertainer ,cant trust you , scorpio 10 or 7th house , genx , movie marathon ,red bike , weekly news , lover by taylor swift ,818 ,655 asteroid, Givenchy, grunge aesthetic, silver jewels ? ,Essay .

As it was cause people reminse about you or how you made them feel :

Thanks for reading!!!

locklyle (book) propaganda:

Lockwood is a homeowner at age 15 and he wanders around it drinking tea and charming people into giving him yhings. Lucy carlyle is a hotheaded aggressive and EXTREMELY powerful agent in his ghost hunting company. They both get shit done but in OPPOSITE ways. They have an interesting way of rejecting traditional gendered tropes- the sensitive dude and the bullheaded girl- that is both simple and INTENSELY complicated within their narrative, which i think qualifies them for the title.

she is the protagonist of the series, a once in a generation prodigy, the most powerful listener since Marissa Fittes, the list goes on. He likes to drink pulpy orange juice and strain it throught his teeth to pretend to be a blue whale

Imagine a buff kind of irritated teenage girl with a sword. No, shes even cooler. That's better. Now imagine a rich preppy guy. No, thats too much like Patrick Bateman. Think Artemis Fowl. Ok youtr there. Hope yhis helps:)

they are PERFECT for each other. she recognises the subtleties in his smiles and he allows himself to be vulnerable in front of her

resting 😒 face x resting ☺️ face. they both have swords and live in a house together (along with their other friend and a disembodied head, but that's unrelated)

Malficlark Propaganda:

Malfina is a sexy powerful demoness and Clark is just. Some guy. From Connecticut. Safe to say he knows a thing or two about good ol fashioned Connecticut hospitality and homemaking.

You know them, I know them, it's everyone's favorite demoness and blob man back to share their love with the world once again.

they're iconic

Hi! Sorry if I’m bothering you. Could you possibly do Hobie (or any of the Spider Squad) with a s/o who just kinda naturally looks sad? Like the reader isn’t actually sad they just naturally pout and have a slight frown on their face and everyone thinks they’re sad.

𝐎𝐟𝐜 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧! 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛*𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐬𝐨 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢’𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰!! 𝐓𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐪!!

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞! 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐬

✩☆ 𝐒𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂!𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐘 𝐆𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐀𝐃 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 ☆✩

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬, 𝐠𝐰𝐞𝐧, 𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐞, 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐯𝐢𝐫.

★ 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰...

𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒

Honestly when he first met you, he was confused as to why you appeared so sad all the time. He would always ask you what’s wrong and be extremely confused when you told him you were fine. He prolly brought it up to hobie a few times out of concern. When you start dating him and explain that’s just the way your face naturally is, he mentally facepalms himself for his stupidity. He still feels a bit sad when you look sad, so will ask you to smile for him or make funny jokes and witty comments to see your face light up or to see you laugh and look happy for once.

𝐆𝐖𝐄𝐍

A lot like miles, she’s confused upon your first meeting. Did something happen? Did she say something to upset you? Are you just having a bad day? When she spends more time around you, her little detective brain comes up with two ideas. Idea 1, you’re depressed. Idea 2, you naturally have that resting face. When you begin dating, you confirmed idea 2 to be correct. She gets it, her resting face isn’t especially joyful either, but she’ll ask for a smile or make you giggle here and there so she can treasure the way your eyes light up and your lips curl into that smiles she adores more than anything.

𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐄

Hobie has met many people in his lifetime, so he immediately recognised that you aren’t actually sad, it’s just your resting face! And he gets it, his resting face is quite intimidating, people have come up to him and asked what happened or why hes mad, and hes had to just say his face is normally just like that. People also get that impression because he keeps his head high and walks with confidence. When you two inevitably start dating, he won’t forwardly ask you for a smile, but he’ll intentionally make you laugh and then look at you with the silliest grin as he mentally screenshots the way you look when you smile.

𝐏𝐀𝐕𝐓𝐈𝐑

Imma be for real, when he meets you he’s oblivious. I don’t think he pays much attention to peoples faces, in my mind he’s a bit (not extremely) hyper and is looking around or doing acrobatics in the air while swinging from structure to structure, but when he gets a good look at your face, he’s a bit like “why are you upset?” And will prolly offer you a hug 😭 he won’t pay attention to your face all that much before you start dating, so once ur dating and he begins to look at your features more, he’ll start to ask questions. THATS when you’re gonna have to explain to him ur face is just like that. And he’s like “oh. Ok cool, so you’re not sad?” 👁️👁️

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

𝐈 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐛𝐡!! 𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐱 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬.

𝐓𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠!! 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐲/𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐲𝐝𝐫𝐚��𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟!! 𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐤 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞!! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

- 𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐫

Invitation to talk about Sayuri and Nymie?

:D CAN OF WORMS: OPENED!! i'll tell u abt how they got found as Jedi

ok so Sayuri is one of the students that doesn't rlly go home bc there isn't much to go back to. Basically her parents were Rebellion pilots (or one was a pilot the other a mechanic. kinda unsure) but were both killed in action against the Empire abt 3-4ABY ish. obvs the Rebellion couldn't look after a 7-8yo while fighting the Empire

so the remainder of the squad manage to get her back to her parents' home village/ where she was born. so having like Everything change all at once leaves her pretty ?? and gives her some serious trusting-her-environment issues. her coolgirl "i dont care" persona is very much a result of this bc she's worried abt getting too comfy in smthn. (which is at odds w the OTHER issue she got from this event which is "deathly afraid of flying" an issue not helped if Master "traffic laws are just guidelines" Skywalker is piloting. but she tries 2 act like shes fine)

this is gonna get kinda long so im gonna smack some unposted art here and then go into a readmore

anyway fast forwarding to when Sayuri's abt 13 (roughly 9aby) she's visiting her parent's old squadron on a New Republic bc they'd all come visit whenever she could and after the Empire's fall they did a lot more pick her up and fly her to a base to ALL see her. and they're like omg Sayuri you came at the PERFECT time bc this rlly amazing pilot war hero who's also some like. mystical whatever is here!! he's on his way to some magic place we heard. maybe u can meet him!! which sayuri meets w her usual whatever bc she's not that gassed abt war heroes.

very worth noting that the squad's probably all seen her move shit with her mind, but theyre like oh you know how it is with teenage girls. the "nobody knows what a jedi is" + "the empire existed for a decent bit of her childhood" thing has kept anyone from being like yeahh sayuri should like. talk to someone abt this.

anyway she goes along when the squad are like c'mon let's see if we can see him. ok the only way i can describe this is you know the spiderverse like... spidey-sense recognition thing? that's basically what happens LOL Luke and Sayuri both have a FORCE USER RECOGNISED?? moment and Luke then makes a beeline for her then realises oh shit tiny teenager not jedi. would you LIKE to be a jedi?? and sayuri who hates her village and is feeling the strongest emotional connection she's felt in forever w this stranger she met 2 seconds ago is like okay fuckin sure yeah. and woo jedi!!

i posted my unposted nymie art yesterday but likkeeee pretend theres some here <3

So Sayuri falls into the "one of the Jedi found them thru the force or by chance" category of students who get found. However Nymie very much falls into the second category, which is "CAN SOMEONE DEAL WITH THIS WEIRD SUPERPOWERED CHILD FOR US????"

So 2 things about Nymie: 1. like i've said before, she's from a very rich high class pantoran family. super stuck up, mostly raised by nannies & tutors, but somehow Nymie just didn't get the stuck-up genes like all her (4!!) siblings who are just obsessed w their social standing etc and is instead just :D all the time. 2. her proficiency ig is the living force esp in the 'good at connecting to animals' way (which I think means I legally need to draw her w Ezra).

so the former often led her to escaping her family's stuffy parties and galas or whatever (usually to whoever's house it is' garden or somewhere she wasnt meant to be) to find something interesting. usually a pet <3 one particular time when she was 9 she was following her Pet Sense but couldnt find anything in the house. so she kinda just reached out more and long story short thats how Nymie managed to call this hugemassive beast (i'd tell u what it was if i knew pantoran animals LOL) out of the nearby countryside to her. massively distressing for everyone, all these rich ppl were like "OH MY GOD I NEARLY DIED" (it didnt attack anyone). very funny exciting time for Nymie who was enjoying this new beastie friend til animal control showed up. saddening. everyone is confused bc HOW did that happen

a dude old (and cool) enough to have seen more than one jedi in their heyday (+ idk uni researcher knows his shit) noticed what happened w it going straight to Nymie and overheard her account and realised what happened and was like hi nymie's parents. i think u need to get into contact w the new republic bc thats a jedi right there (which they take and go oo social climbing. we have a jedi child people will think we're cooler. bc theyre assholes)

and yeah im losing steam now but luke shows up and she joins the academyyay!

nobody asked but since I've seen a lil chatter on the DCTL Graphic Novel on tumblr too, here's the thread I posted on twitter, speaking as someone who's done a little freelance work as a comic artist, under the jump:

Main thought about the DCTL graphic novel preview is: yeah, I've made designs like that when I was being paid by the page and expected to just throw in extra design work for free and I have a deadline and no time to scour the source material or really put my heart into the design No shade to the artist; every complaint I have about the pages we've seen is that this looks like someone who was just working (quickly) from a script. The artist is likely not a Big Fan, so they only know the info and descriptions they're given. And the artist's portfolio shows they're capable of the kind of designs and dynamics this comic needed. its possible they phoned it in for no reason, but feels more likely to be "not enough time/not paid enough/not given enough info to give it that level of care." Which, don't get me wrong; an important level of craftsmanship and care is missing and im not gonna blame the artist but i AM gonna be a hater abt it lmao It's not just about designs; the convo with Joey is another good example. It's a literal illustration of the things Joey said and did in that scene, but it's missing the point -- that scene is our introduction to the way Joey throws Buddy off-balance. That energy is missing. And that's the sort of thing that needs the script to convey this purpose well to the artist, that needs the artist to have time & freedom to invest in portraying it, that needs time & investment & knowledge to ask for adjustments at early stages and get the page right one more note: begging batim fans 2 think abt the plot of DCTL and realise why "maybe we will not make the creepy guy who dies at the end a black man in this" is perhaps a reasonable choice. like im a fan of poc norman headcanons too but pls recognise this would be a tough call!! anyway, genuinely cannot wait to see how off sammy is gonna be in this lmao. will he be a mid non-design like norman or will he be conventionally handsome or will he get graphic novel dave miller vibes b/c hes an antagonist? will we get the fabled black hair sammy??? i cant wait

TL;DR I strongly suspect this was an issue of not enough time/not enough money. That design looks nothing like the description of Norman, right? Like, there's hundreds of different AU designs of all shapes, colours and sizes that you could create that would still look like Norman Polk, but somehow they managed to make a character that isnt ANY of them, lmao??? So... how could that happen, unless nobody gave the artist a description of Norman? Or if they did, how did that design make it past anyone else, unless there wasn't time for revisions or a system worked out for revisions, unless whoever was managing the comic project thought it was fine if the designs didn't fit with the descriptions in the book? If everyone is doing their job, then the artist is given the information they need without having to go do unpaid YA novel research before they can start drawing. That's why you have a writer adapting it!!

("they should hire fans, a fan would've done a better job" OK BUT THATS B/C FANS ARE MORE LIKELY TO ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE EXPLOITED AND DO EXTRA UNPAID WORK B/C THEY CARE!! THATS NOT A SOLUTION!!!! THATS A JOEY DREW STRAT!!!!!!!)

Anyway I could yell about this for 15 years so I'm going to shush for now BUT I JUST FEEL VERY STRONGLY ABOUT IT LMAO.

you know what im tired of the negativity with everything i like im gonna make positive posts about them instead

first up:

Boyfriends Webtoon

i love this comic man. sometimes i don’t t feel like reading a super unique artistic piece with a super detailed and meaningful story, i just want something to keep my mind off the depressing news. i don’t understand all the hate so heres some of my fave things about it.

simple plot and simple characters - its so easy to understand everyone and super refreshing from convoluted stories. i don’t have to think hard about anything and i still get the full story. sure it relies on tropes but all stories have tropes. its a writing tool not the end of the world

great art - the art may not be the new van gogh or mona lisa but thats a good thing. its super easy on the eyes and gives the happy carefree vibes i definitely need after a long day. i have issues recognising things and have a colour sensitivity and this comic is one if the few i have no issues with

its comforting - sometimes people forget that what they don’t like isn’t universal. i like this comic. its like a warm blanket during a depressing day. it might bot be for you but it doesn’t give an excuse to hate ppl who like it. don’t like, don’t read

its silly - its a slice of life about 4 boyfriends navigating their polyam relationship. what else would it be. the characters may not feel real but thats ok cuz its a story. its not real and it doesn’t have to be real.

their relationship is adorable - they do seem to love eachother and is probably the healthiest gay polyam relationship i’ve seen in a while. too much of media is about how hard polyam relationships are and mostly straight ones too. its nice to see something i can relate to

just let ppl enjoy what they like. fight with me in the notes idc

OK KINDA AU IDEA.

SO YK THAT POST I MAE ABOUT THE DEAD BALLISTER AU? WELL ITS A CARRY ON OF THAT.

so balister "dies" during the knighting ceremony and everyone(almost) is sad. ambro kinda depressed ngl. but whast this? ballister is alive! yep! hes in hiding and is trying to find out who tried to kill him. so hes five months into hiding and no luck. (this is where this kinda get bit odd but bear with e) the queen is devistated that her fav knight got killed so she holds like a masked ball thin in his honor, and nimona thinks this is a perfect time to break into the intitute to find more evidence. so ballister makes them some masks yadada hes crafty, and he has one that covers most of his face. they have different persona's, ballister is a mute guy(if he talks people will recognise him) and nimona shapeshifts into the demon baby but aged up and poses as his son. BUT GET THIS AMBROSIUS IS THE ONE WELCOMING THE GUESTS AND HE GOES LIKE.. "your kind of familliar...." nimona manages to get them away and into the instute and theres loads of people. they cant get into the main part without a knights ID so... nimona makes sure noone is looking and shapeshifts into ballister 💀, and to whom you ask? no one in particular but shes leaning up against a pillar looking in the direction of ambrosius who obvisoulsy tries to walk over to her. but the real ballister walks into him and knocks stuff over him, while patting him off he swips the ID card and walks away, ambrosius looks back to where nimona is but shes gone so poor ambro thinks hes going crazy. Thats all i got so far teehee.

please excuse my spelling lol, im not very good at it despite english being my 1st language

I know that you've already kinda figured out why dirkjakers like LE jake but I want to offer a more mundane reason and that is the absolute power fantasy that this man offers. I hate epilogues with a passion that could burn universes but ult dirk? My bpd ass was in shambles (that's why I'll someday make an essay on why dirk strider homestuck has bpd and/or npd), having control over people, over narrative itself, and most importantly fucking desimating your ex who called you clingy that one time while simultaneously still being obsessed with him, I've never lived vicariously through a character so much in my life. He is a horrible person but I Get him. "What would you do with this power" he asked the audience, and I solemnly nodded bc I would do the same thing (probably). And I suspect power fantasy LE jake offers is the same for some people bc don't you want to go apeshit? Don't you want to stop (not very successfully) conforming and be weird and off-putting freely? Don't YOU want to desimate YOUR ex? Both ult dirk and ult jake are what audience wants them to be and I think the audience wants them to be powerful, insane and murderous bc we ourselves cannot be like that irl. Their relationship is cathartic, their actions are cathartic, it's like religion if you relate to the god from old testament. Or I'm projecting big time which is also a possibility

Everyone take notes because this anon is speaking cold true facts and this shit is getting carved into the walls. I agree with the Dirk Strider has BPD headcanon, I offer up to you the Jake has BPD too headcanon in return.

I like the idea of Jake going batshit insane. I think a lot of people do, after all if the ancestors were anything to go off of, Jake and Dirk are pretty nuts.

Also fun sort of related fact, really fond of Ultimate Jake, it's because it plays into the mythos of their Demiurges / Denizens and how important that is to their stories. (I'm getting autistic here). Yaldaboath (Dirks Denizen, Destroyer of Peace) is considered a false god, harbinger of chaos, and uses the light he inherits from his mother, Sophia (personification of light and wisdom) to try to rise above others, even if he is blind and is not as aware of the aeons as his mother is.

Jesus destroyed Yaldaboaths kingdom and thus, Yaldaboath had him crucified, made a martyr. But before his martyrdom could set in, Jesus ascended and returned to the world. In Gnosticism, they viewed Yaldaboath as evil, and that Jesus had to overcome him "by destroying the Jewish Temple with an Earthquake lifting the veil or Yaldabaoth’s curtain of illusion, by Jesus’ resurrection and rapture. "

Now, who do we have quite literally representing Jesus Christ himself? Okay, you're going to say Karkat, but do you know who *specifically* represents the place where Christ himself died and was made a martyr and the rapt- OK ITS JAKE ENGLISH OKAY ITS JAKE ENGLISH. And the sufferer BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT.

There's quite a few parallels with Yaldaboath being one that wanted to be recognised as a god and in his jealous fury condemned a mortal god and Dirk Strider. There's quite a few parallels between Jesus Christ, Karkat, and Jake English, his rapture and ascension. There's an INSANE amount of parallels between Yaldaboath's mother, Sophia, and Rose Lalonde. Even down to Rose going grimdark, which Sophia DOES, after she loses her light, which is something i'll go on about in another ramble. Thematically, if we're following gnosticism, Jesus Christ, aka Jake English, is the one able to recognise and overcome Yaldaboaths illusion, aka Dirk Strider. It just makes SENSE.

Road to recovery- part 2

masterlist Lola's POV

It's been a long week waiting for my surgery as I haven't been able to do much as they don't want me to cause more damage by walking around too much. As someone who is always active and barely sits down this week has been hell but today has been the worst. Knowing that it is surgery day but having to wait sat in a hospital has been torture seeing everyone else get called while I just sit and wait has been awful. Until today I wasn't nervous about the surgery but the longer I've had to wait the more anxious I've become as there's a big risk I means the surgery could not go to plan and then I may never compete again and that's a scary thought. My life has been dedicated to sport even my degree is sport related as I wanted to have the knowledge that helps me understand my body better so if I can't do gymnastics again I don't know what I'll do with my life. 

Eventually I was called back and the nurses prepped me for surgery. I was given a gown to wear which they had to help me into as I can't put any weight on my left leg which makes changing difficult. They did some basic checks as well like measuring my heart rate and blood pressure before hooking me up to a few machines. Then it was time to go into the operating room which just felt so cold and clinical which I know it's supposed to be but it didn't help ease my feelings of anxiety that I was already feeling. Luckily someone then came in to give me the anaesthetic to put me to sleep which worked very quickly so before I knew it I was falling asleep. 

As my eyes opened and adjusted to the lights I noticed that they weren't as harsh as the ones in the operating room and the ceiling was different too. My brain was still slightly foggy but as I was coming to my senses I realised that I must be out of surgery which woke me up a little more and I finally looked down at my leg to see bandages where they had cut into my knee and a brace was already attached to my leg to limit its movement. Just as I was about to find the button to call a nurse one walked in and offered me a smile once she saw I was awake.

"How are you feeling Lola?" She asked 

"I'm ok did the surgery go well?" I asked 

"Yes it did we were able to repair your acl and the damage to your meniscus wasn't as bad as we feared so you didn't require any further work to fix that we are going to keep you over night just to monitor you and to start physio tomorrow morning" she explained 

"Thank you" I replied 

"Also I'm sorry that you are having to share this room but we are low on rooms and you two have the exact same injury so we thought it was best to put you together" she said

I was extremely confused until I looked to my right and saw a guy who looked weirdly familiar sat on his phone also with a brace on just his was on his right leg instead. I don't know how I didn't notice before as our beds are quite close together but I guess thats what anaesthesia does to you. Once the nurse left I turned my attention back to this random guy as I was curious as to who he was but he was yet to acknowledge my existence as he hadn't looked up from his phone. Seeing as he wasn't paying any attention I took my chance to study his face to see if I could work out where I recognised him from. I noticed that he looked to be about my age the the muscles in his arms told me that he was definitely an athlete too which only made me more curious. In my head I was trying to go through the sports where acl injures are common and the first sport that came to mind was football. With him looking my age and us being in Barcelona I assumed he was part of one of the youth teams but then I wondered why I recognised him as I'm really not that into football so I'd have no idea about any youth players. 

"Do you need something?" The guy asked coldly which made me realise I was still staring 

"Oh sorry I didn't mean to stare" I said

"Whatever" he scoffed going back to his phone again 

"Wait I um have to ask how did you end up here?" I asked 

"I was playing football and landed awkwardly on my knee" he explained 

"I'm sorry that sounds awful I hope this doesn't seem weird but I'm really not that into football but I recognise you from somewhere do you play for one of the Barcelona youth teams Barcelona atletic isn't it?" I asked 

"No I don't play for the B team I play for the first team" he said so nonchalantly like it meant nothing 

He had rendered me speechless with that. I simply couldn't think of anything else to say as my brain was preoccupied with freaking out over the fact that I was laying in a hospital bed in the same room as a Barcelona player. Football isn't my thing but that being said I know how hard those guys work and how crazy it is to find yourself in the situation I am right now. Once my brain had come to terms with the fact that I was next to an actual well known athlete I realised I still wasn't completely sure who he was so I found my phone amongst all my stuff and went straight to Instagram. I went onto Barcelona's account and the first thing I saw was a post with the guy sat right next to me. Gavi. That's who he is the big star boy of the team that's why I recognised him there was a time when he was all anyone talked about whether that was because of his footballing abilities or how attractive they thought he was. Of course I had to look at his Instagram and after scrolling through a few pictures I decided to follow him. It's not like I'm ever going to see him again after we leave this hospital plus he won't even notice he already has millions of followers. 

What a day. No one is going to believe me when I try and tell them that I spent my time in hospital with Gavi and honestly I wouldn't believe me either but here we are. Good thing he doesn't seem to want to talk to anyone as I don't know if I could hold a conversation with him for more than a few seconds now I know who he is. 

Meeting other Transgender Girls in Public

I went to the opticians for my annual eye test this afternoon. When I walked into the opticians I noticed that one of the other patients was also trans. She was young, quite pretty, fashionably dressed, slim and incredibly tall! It was only small things which gave her away - to me at least - her voice was rather deep and her facial bone structure was 'unusual' for a girl. I can't help wondering if I only picked up on her because I'm also trans, like a form of 'gaydar' - Tdar perhaps? I wonder if she also detected that I was transgender too?

And before anyone says are you sure she was trans and not just a butch woman, let me assure you that she was trans. I know quite a bit about being that.

My first instinct was to rush up to her and give her a hug and say something stupid like 'Me Too!' Of course I didn't or the poor girl would have thought I was mad. We didn't even speak (well once, when I accidentally stood on her foot and apologised and she said it was fine). She had great boots on too.

As I sat there waiting to be seen I thought about how nice it was to see another trans girl just going about her life in public and being accepted by the world in general. There's another, older transwoman that lives somewhere near me - I often see her out walking with her teenage daughter.

I know that we all just want to go about our everyday life as ordinary, everyday women and not be noticed by society in general but wouldn't it be great if there was some special way we could recognise and acknowledge each other? A special sign, a distinctive wave or a badge for instance? OK, perhaps thats going a bit too far... Actually I normally wear a small heart-shaped enamel badge in the colours of the Trans Flag but I wasn't wearing it today. Most people outside the LGBTQ+ community have no idea what it represents.

I know that these sound like the ramblings of a demented woman with too much time on her hands, but in all honesty if felt good knowing that I'm not the only trans girl in our little community on the outskirts of Nottingham. And I hope that she felt the same way. And it was so good to see the world just accepting us both as the women we are. After all it can't be very often that our little opticians has two trans girls in at the same time - no-one made any comment or reacted in any way. In fact the whole experience has left me with a nice warm glow. Katie X

A quick response to some of the comments I've received. I would NEVER have approached her and spoken to her. That would have been completely wrong. What I was trying to convey in my message was how wonderful it was that two trans women were in the same small opticians at the same time and were openly accepted by everyone there - and there were a lot of people in that afternoon. And I should also add that she (I know that sounds rude but I obviously don't know her name) was not in the least worried about being recognised as trans. She was one of the most confident people I have ever seen - her attitude seemed to be 'This is who I am - so accept me or not. I don't really care what you think!'. I loved her confidence too. But, as I said, I would not have spoken to her. That would have been wrong. Just wanted to emphasise that! Katie X

NEW JUNO EPISODE!!!

(im reasonably early this time lets go)

ramblings and random thoughts follow :D

who’s this chip guy i love him he’s so silly

ive decided i dont like the pet guy hes insulted my new favourite character chip hoffman

‘no he said he didnt like me…and when you think about it thats sort of a challenge’ REAL i love this guy

‘i knew i’d need some help to turn the mood in my favour so i poisoned everyone :D’ cHIP OH MY GOD

bro really posioned everyone and was like ‘you know what everyone else has passed out this would be a great time for some family bonding’ and honestly gotta respect him for that

hey what if lydia…..doesnt seem poisoned…..chip…..does…..but also chip is….a silly guy…..and now i’m…..confused

im suspicious of the bird guy he seems mean :[

WAIT NO IS CHIP A BAD PERSON NO MY BOY WAIT NO

ive got attached to a criminal in 15minutes kevin why and how?

i say that as if 3/4 of the people in this podcast arent also criminals and arent also my favourite

juno being in wonder of of chips plan to just pretend to pass out for literal hours to avoid talking about something…..juno…..juno no…..

OOOOO THE DARK MATTERS STREAM FIRST MENTION (i think maybe im wrong) OOOOOO

HE THOUGHT THEY SPLIT UP BECAUSE OF THE BIRD AHAHAHAHA

ok ok lydia she seems kinda mean but also like…..reasonably straighforward? i dont know if i like her?

OH I DO NOT LIKE THE BIRD GUY FUCK HIM HE IS TERRIBLE

you know what i still love chip stealing from the bird guy is justified

yeahhhh she never had the poison fish!!! im right all the time ever about everything

*rita, very excited*: ‘oh boy whodunnit mista steel??’ rita is so me i love her

‘monty has a habit of repeating things?’ ‘repeating things??’ ‘repeating things.’ LMAO i love this show

WHAT THE FUCK HOW IS THE DEATH OF A BIRD SO SAD IM CRYING WHAT THE FUCK

‘whoever your searching for, they arent going to fill the hole you think they will. nobody ever does.’ NO SHUT UP. JUNO DONT STOP LOOKING FOR NUREYEV PLEASE

‘we are not puzzle pieces destined to click together’. BUT THEY ARE NO

‘do you recognise that?’ ‘i do. but i need to find him Dr Hoffman. He’s in trouble’. HELL YES JUNO ASJKDFKSJGE

fuck yeah we really got the best ending: dont help the piece of shit bird man, help the nice lady, still get what we need

the fact that the moment juno says ‘we’ i know hes talking about nureyev…..*insert sounds of me screming into a pillow*

‘what nureyev was offering was the kind of clean cut lydia was talking about. the chance to start fresh somewhere else….with someone else.’ BUT YA DIDNT

AND HES STILL LOOKING FOR NUREYEV LETS GOOO :D

THE ?DOKANA? (i dont know how to say it) GROUP A NEW LEAD YAYYYY

THEY’RE GETTING CLOSE?????

DOES RITA NOT KNOW ABOUT SLIP????

‘and of course lydia hoffman. she seemed like the happiest of the sad and she’d done it by cutting ties with her past cleanly’ ISTG IF THIS SEASON ENDS WITH JUPETER LEAVING EACHOTHER I WILL NOT SURVIVE

annndd thats the end. we got new answers new leads new angst. i am not ok.

why chilton?

AAALRIGHT im going to assume you're coming from my confession thing (chilton is the most reasonable character) so i'll answer that first.

(coming back up here after writing a bit, this is long and spoiler-y so i'm adding a read more. @ vic youre already up to season 3 just wait ok)

also a disclaimer: i'm writing all of this from memory while freezing in the wind at the bus stop. errors may follow

chilton may be a dumbass when it comes to his own actions BUT everyone is tbh so thats kinda just the baseline

however! he was one of the only people to believe will. he saw the evidence (albeit the little of it there was, since hannibal left very little) that pointed to hannibal, and he was able to put aside his positive associations and think critically about it

jack and alana both let their personal connection to hannibal cloud their judgement until it was too late. which is understandable! i love both of them as well. but out of those three people we see regularly interacting with hannibal personally, having dinner as friends (or more!), frederick is the only one who was willing to consider that hannibal was the ripper

of course beverly did as well, but she wasnt close with hannibal, and breaking into his house without telling anyone where she was going unfortunately docks some reasonable points. sorry bev </3

(and bedelia. but she didnt really try to do much about it except send smoke signals in the form of wine and truffles. i can understand that though. go get your europe holiday girl)

he was also the only one to see hannibal and will's fucked up relationship in season 3 ("with those two [disembowelling] is tantamount to flirtation" in aperitivo).

and now for more general 'why he's my favourite' stuff!

i really love his character arc - it's almost circular, and hes still recognisable as the frederick chilton we meet in entrée by the time the number of the beast is 666 rolls around, but he's taken his experiences in and grown as a person, imo. still confident, still egotistical, but still Changed.

and the fact that he's still the same by the end is really meaningful! because we all know that this man is a human punching bag - he went through so much over the course of the show, but he got back up every time. he's an incredibly strong person for that (and probably a little - or very - stubborn!), and it's very admirable. he held his head up and he faced abel gideon after he vivisected him (he stood right in front of him! the man who had broken out of restraints more than once!), he sat and ate with hannibal (more than once, we can assume) after he'd attacked him in his home and left three mutilated corpses for him and left him pretty much for dead

(im sure jack wouldve shot him if he hadnt surrendered and been someone familiar, and he wouldve likely been tried and if found guilty, executed much like hannibal should have been without frederick and alana saving his ass)

of course, this insistence on standing his ground led to his unfortunate fate in s3e12, but it's not his fault he didnt forsee a third attempt on his life. his strength is admirable nonetheless

i'd dock reasonable points for 'trusting will graham' but everyone did. that's another baseline. (aside from bedelia, i suppose. but her first impression of him was hannibal's pathetic little rambles in hannibal-mandated therapy)

also he's a funny little guy and has some of the best lines in the show. and he's played by raúl esparza who did so INCREDIBLY like holy shit

okay i think im out of stuff to say and i'm nearly at my stop thanks 4 reading

“Do it.”

Ken stood, frozen and trapped. Papa was there, but it wasn’t Papa.

It was Shinjiro-san. It was Shinjiro-san as he had been on October 4th, 2009. He stood hunched like his peacoat weighed the same as the sky, his eyes were dark and half-lidded- exhausted.

“Just... Let me give you one warning,” Shinjiro-san said, and Ken tried to stifle his sobs.

“No, no- No! I don’t want to! I don’t want to kill you! Please, let’s just go! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’ve changed my mind!” He pleaded, and someone else walked up. It... looked like him.

“You know you cannot undo what’s been done. Why do you try?” Not-Ken asked. Ken trembled as he tried to speak.

“It’s my fault! It’s my fault he almost died, it’s my fault he struggles now... I want to help him, I don’t want him to feel bad anymore! He carries guilt too, and it’s still because of me!”

Shinjiro-san vanished, leaving Ken and his Shadow alone.

“Do you still see him as he was before? Or has he changed in your eyes?” Shadow Ken asked, and Ken bowed his head.

“He’s changed. But I still- I still see that day. It’s Papa I see now, though, not Shinjiro-san. I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! Would it be better if I had died that day!? Would it have been better if Papa had let me die, if Takaya had killed me and-”

“And you died in Papa’s arms? Leaving even more guilt? He feels bad enough over the death of your mother. Imagine how he’d feel if he had been the cause of another Amada death. He has begun the journey to forgiveness. He wouldn’t have made it past that night if you had died,” his Shadow said, and Ken sank to the ground, hugging himself and sobbing.

It was all his fault, and yet Papa was still alive. Papa still cared for him. Papa still loved him. “I’m sorry...”

“You don’t want to die. You want to live, you want to join the soccer team and pass middle school and see Papa and Dad happy. You want to see Goro graduate. You want to live,” his Shadow said, and Ken nodded shakily.

“How can Papa find it in himself to forgive me...? After all I’ve done, how can he-?”

“KEN!”

There’s a sudden thundering of footsteps, and someone strong scoops him up, spinning him around and hugging him.

Ken recognises the scent of cinnamon and cologne, and hugs back. “Papa-! Papa, I’m so sorry-”

He devolves into sobs again, and Papa presses a kiss to his head, holding him more gently, rubbing circles on his back.

“Hey, don’t apologise. Never apologise for somethin’ like this, okay? It ain’t your fault. Are you okay?”

Papa steps back, holding Ken’s shoulders. His dark grey eyes are less tired than they once were, no longer darkly shadowed. His skin, once ashen and pale, is now a healthy tan, darker still from the warm autumn sun. He was once frightfully thin, giving everyone healthy portions of food but never taking any for himself. Now he was strong, strong enough to pick Ken up with ease.

“...I’m okay,” Ken murmured, burying his face in Papa’s jacket. It smelled like nutmeg.

After a moment, he pulled away, facing his Shadow.

“...You’re me. Aren’t you?”

His Shadow nodded, and Ken extended a hand. “Well, I am thou.”

The Shadow took it, and smiled. “Thou art I.”

He vanished, leaving a tarot card in his place. When Ken took it, he saw that it was the Justice arcana.

“...Does this mean I won't need my Evoker anymore?” He asked, and Papa placed a hand on his shoulder.

“We can find out later. Come on, let's get you home. The others are all worried sick.”

As they left, Ken heard an echo of his vow to his Shadow.

I am thou, thou art I.

Memento mori.

OH MY GOD KENS SHADOW the way the fic is ken focused so shinji is referred to as papa... ALSO DIDNT EXPECT KEN TO REFER TO HIM AS PAPA FOR SOME REASON??? thats so cute though... ken accepting his shadow accepting the fact that he doesnt need to feel guilty. its all ok now and he cant change the past... also love that the shinji illusion resembles him in p3 more and afterwards when he sees the real one, he's grown, taking care of himself, looking better, happy... i love them sm