#ok putting this as a book i read in 2023 felt weird but. like it's technically true.
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TAYLOR READS 2023: SYSTEM COLLAPSE BY MARTHA WELLS
Title: System Collapse (The Murderbot Diaries #7) (2023)
Author: Martha Wells
Genre/Tags: Science Fiction, First Person, Agender Protagonist
Rating: 9/10
Date Began: 11/19/2023
Date Finished: 12/31/2023
In the aftermath of the alien contamination incident of the Adamantite colony, Murderbot and its humans face a new challenge. Barish-Estranza, a major corporation, seeks to claim the planet and its inhabitants as salvage, which would doom the colonists to contract slavery. To save them from this fate, the non-corporate humans must find a way to convince the colonists to trust them and reject Barish-Estranza’s offer.
But after a nervous breakdown, Murderbot has problems of its own. Unable to trust its own judgment, Murderbot must come to terms with its distressingly human response to the traumatic events of Network Effect— all while keeping its humans from accidentally killing themselves in the cutthroat political climate Barish-Estranza brings to the Adamantite colony.
“On the team feed, Ratthi asked, Can we come down and help you, SecUnit?
No, I told him. He hadn’t asked me what I was doing, probably because he was afraid I didn’t know. Which, valid, but this time I actually did know. I continued around the edge, because if I was right, the first one would be directly attached to the pad. If it wasn’t here, I was going to look incredibly fucking stupid and the humans were going to assume because of redacted I—
Oh, here it is.”
For live reading notes, check the reblogs (contains unmarked spoilers).
Content warnings and review (spoiler-free and spoiler versions) under the cut.
Content Warnings: Mentioned -- Murder, torture, sexual slavery.
Depicted -- Slavery, PTSD, self-hatred, emotional manipulation, dehumanization, violence, gore (kinda), death (implied)
**SPOILER-FREE REVIEW**
This section is spoiler free for System Collapse, but not The Murderbot Diaries as a whole, so please keep that in mind!
I've consistently enjoyed The Murderbot Diaries throughout its run. The strikingly relatable narration Murderbot supplies makes the books approachable and entertaining to read, despite often delving into disturbing and dark subject matter like slavery, depression, and anxiety. The book chronologically preceding this one, Network Effect, is one of my favorite novels of all time. While System Collapse doesn't reach those heights (and it doesn't need to), it's yet another story following Murderbot's adventures and struggles with personhood, so I predictably liked it.
System Collapse occupies a more transitional space than previous entries. We end the novel in much the same place as in Network Effect, literally and metaphorically. Murderbot makes the same decision it does at the end of Network Effect; to leave its Preservation humans and travel with ART and its crew instead. I question whether System Collapse was originally planned when Network Effect was written; as a story, it feels tacked onto that entry. It's just more of that book-- a continuation of some loose threads from it.
However, this isn't a criticism, at least not yet, because despite feeling similar to Network Effect, System Collapse introduces critical character development in order for the next arc, which I imagine will focus more on ART and the University, to succeed. I'll get into more detail about that in the spoiler section, but I have no problem with a break from the extreme high stakes tension of Network Effect to spend time developing various characters, including Murderbot itself, especially going into the next story arc.
**SPOILER REVIEW**
By far System Collapse's greatest strength is how it addresses Murderbot's trauma post-Network Effect. If I'm right and this entry wasn't originally planned, I'm glad Martha Wells decided to write it anyway, because leaving the long term effects of what Murderbot went through in the air and unaddressed would be a disservice to Murderbot as a character and readers who have undergone similarly traumatic experiences.
In particular, Murderbot experiences a realistic depiction of PTSD, something it's disturbed by and ashamed about. System Collapse can often be a brutal read because Murderbot is so hard on itself, seeing itself as an incompetent failure for having a reasonable reaction to trauma. It hearkens back to earlier points in the series where Murderbot didn't really see itself as a person, something that has gradually changed over time. But one thing that sticks out to me is a heavier thematic focus on Murderbot's humanity.
Murderbot itself is a construct-- a combination of machinery and cloned human material. We know it has a human face, human neural tissue, and some organic body parts, but the series to this point has focused on Murderbot's PERSONHOOD rather than its HUMANITY, which are separate things in this series. Murderbot itself doesn't identify as human, usually avoiding the association and approaching the world as a machine would. So after Murderbot suffers its PTSD episode, when ART says “this affects the part of you that is human," and Murderbot doesn’t outright deny that assertion, it's VERY striking to a long time reader. Murderbot's human aspects have to this point been depicted as a nuisance, something Murderbot feels neutral about at best and dislikes at worst.
System Collapse makes a direct connection between a fundamental aspect of Murderbot's character and this idea of humanity. It's something that seems obvious in retrospect but as far as I know is the first time the narrative directly addresses it. Murderbot LOVES the TV show The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon. As an autistic-coded character, Murderbot's primary special interest IS Sanctuary Moon (and the concept of human media as a whole). It watches favorite episodes of this space soap opera to comfort itself when it feels stressed or overwhelmed. One reason Murderbot cites for not hating humans despite what they've done to it, even before meeting humans it likes, is their ability to create media.
Yet when we meet ART in the second book, a space ship bot with greater than human intelligence, it doesn't understand the emotional aspect of media at all. It needs to watch TV shows by seeing the reactions of others to get full context. One of the ways ART and Murderbot initially bond is through watching shows together like this. Murderbot cites "human neural tissue" as a requirement for fully understanding media. Yet here in System Collapse that same neural tissue causes major problems for Murderbot— the trauma response.
One connection System Collapse makes to Sanctuary Moon and why it's so important to Murderbot is that, after hacking its governor module pre-series, Murderbot used Sanctuary Moon to heal and rewire its brain. Murderbot has always had some human aspect to it, whether it likes to acknowledge this or not. And one of the things most precious to it is something it would not be able to fully understand or appreciate otherwise. So Murderbot has to grapple with both positive and negative aspects to, as ART identifies (correctly, I feel), its humanity. I was hesitant about this framing at first, as the series to this point has avoided addressing this so directly. But on reflection I REALLY like it, and am interested to see how the next entry expands upon this.
Beyond Murderbot itself we do get development of some newer characters. Iris, ART’s favorite human, made an appearance in the last book, but gets a lot more screen time in System Collapse. We get a sense of her self doubt, but willingness to do what is right in the face of danger. Another character I really enjoy is Tarik. I honestly can't remember if he made more than a passing appearance in Network Effect. But System Collapse develops him as a human foil to Murderbot; he was part of a corporate death squad and broke free, has trauma associated with that, is the newest member of ART'S crew, and is quietly a badass as like, a background detail, which is pretty funny. With the book's greater focus on humanity and how it relates to Murderbot, I think a character like this has a lot of potential and I'm excited to see where that goes.
Slavery and self-determination are core themes of the series, and we continue with that trend in System Collapse. Barish-Estranza are the primary antagonists and seek to enslave the surviving colonists of Admantine in everything but name, and the conflict focuses on finding a way to convince said colonists to establish themselves as an independent entity to escape that fate. While I don't think it's the most poignant exploration of these ideas in the series, it is nice to see the consistency of The Murderbot Diaries' anti-slavery message and the variety of ways it's explored throughout.
Another overarching plot thread gets expanded upon in this entry-- that of free constructs besides Murderbot. Murderbot encounters a "ComfortUnit" (a cutesy name for a sex slave) earlier in the series and frees it, and we still don't know where it went or what it has done since then. In Network Effect Murderbot frees another SecUnit which it calls "Three", who is a minor character in this entry. During the story of System Collapse Murderbot frees two other SecUnits owned by Barish-Estranza, one of whom helps them during the climax. It's implied this Unit will do what Murderbot initially did and pretend it's still under the governor module's control while continuing to do its job.
So my question is, when does this part of the story all come together? The slavery of constructs is arguably THE conflict of the series. Murderbot has given various constructs the means to disable their governor modules and free themselves throughout the series. Presumably this could cause a chain reaction over time as other constructs free each other. Is this the endgame of the series? I don't know, but I'm excited to find out.
**CONCLUSION**
As always I greatly enjoyed System Collapse and highly recommend the entirety of The Murderbot Diaries. It's one of my favorite series ever and if you haven't read them yet… DO IT! I would not consider System Collapse the best entry in the series (it's hard to beat Network Effect) but it provides compelling character development and food for thought regarding the next story arc of the series.
#taylor reads#book review#9/10#ok putting this as a book i read in 2023 felt weird but. like it's technically true.
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Let's talk shall we ? I have big news
Hey guys, it's been quite some time since we chatted huh ?
Well, I have something I need to confess. Ever since I was a kid I never really cared too much about gender, and roles, and how we played. I was just a kid. I liked and had lots of fun dressing up as a man, wearing ties, being shirtless and on diapers. But also wearing my mom's heels and putting on her lipstick. It didn't matter
I'd do what I wanted, when I wanted.
Things started to get more serious as I grew up though. On my early teens I decided I wasn't interested on makeup, at all. And I wasn't "like the other girly girls". I hung out with a bunch of boys and we'd have fun too. But I felt weird at times. That's when I got closer to my girl friends. They were awesome and we were very, very close, for some time as well.
But I never felt home. Accepted. Comfortable. I never felt like I belonged for real, anywhere at all, and I still do have problems with that...
And then I was a teen. Started to learn more about the world, about lgbt culture. I learned about different genders. And that's what we're going to talk about on this post.
This is my coming out letter.
When I was 12 I read the Percy Jackson series. I was never truly interested in reading as kid. But my Portuguese teacher said we had to read it for class so I did. And I fell in love. And I was an avid reader, I learnt. I read one book per day. Everyday. I was amazed with Percy. He was incredible. He was everything I wanted to be.
He was everything to me.
But.
I felt something so deep, a crushing feeling I couldn't describe, that it hurt so so so much, whenever I read fanfics or saw too much fanart, or tried to be a part of the fandom.
Then later I found out it was envy. I wanted to be him so bad it hurt. I wanted to be like him, but not only have his personality, no, I wanted to look exactly like him.
I had to distance myself from the fandom and the books and I was fine for some time.
I forced myself not to care about my looks. I pretended that I didn't know what I wanted. I tried to be edgy and cool. Then I tried to look sweet and innocent. 2023 I really, really put an effort and learnt how to do makeup. I wore foundation and glittery eyeshadows and lipstick. And I felt pretty.
But. It wasn't enough for me. I felt ok most of the time, like it was acceptable. It bothered it annoyed but it was fine. In reality though I knew what I wanted.
And well, I'm bringing up Percy Jackson again. I really really liked the books. And now the series is streaming on Disney. I refused to watch it for some reason.
I think I forgot, y'know. Why I avoided and stopped liking it.
But, curse you TikTok, it started appearing on my fyp and ugh, I liked some of the videos. And now because of the algorithm it's only showing me pjo tiktoks.
Maybe I knew, deep inside, that I had to go through this discomfort. This pain, yet again. I needed to accept myself. So I kept on watching, and scrolling, until I was sobbing, lying on my bed. Feeling extremely upset.
Why wasn't I born a man. Why do I was born with curves, and boobs. Why. Why why why why why. And I cried and cried, all the pain I felt accumulated all these years.
I am coming out today because I feel finally ready and brave to accept this part of me.
I am transgender.
So are you a man ? Hm, honestly, I don't know for sure. I think I'm a girl too, sometimes. Like it doesn't bother me too much. I feel like I still need to learn and read a lot to comprehend what I feel and who I am. But for now, I'll go for unlabeled and just say I'm nonbinary. Crazy huh ? Took me 21 years to figure it out.
I'm not coming out to my family, I will never. They won't understand, and won't try to. They won't like it. And I love my family more than anything in this world. I don't want to lose them and I don't want them to look at me differently. I don't care if I'm still their little girl. I will keep being their little girl forever. Doesn't bother me.
I don't care that my friends or my irls still refer me as a woman either. Cuz sometimes I feel like a woman. I dress like a woman.
So... What will change then, you may ask ?
Firstly, hm... I don't think much will change. I will refer myself as a man on social media. I will use he him pronouns and I will say I have a massive, huge fucking dick. Heh. Makes me laugh.
I think what mattered to me first was just coming to terms that yeah, I am trans. And this is how I feel. And who cares if nothing changes. It's my own fucking life.
I'm scared of medical procedures and I don't want to transition. For now. As I mentioned before, I don't want to scare my family. I don't want to lose them. Do I wish I was born a male ? Yes. Do I wish, I looked like a man ? Of course. But for now, looking like a woman will have to do the job.
But what's fun is that I'm on art school. Everyone's fucking gay !!!!! And nobody cares how you dress ! So this will be fun now that I feel free. I can do whatever the fuck I want.
This post is too long and I'm so sorry. I wish I could thank Percy for giving me the "splash" haha and making me learn more about myself.
And now I can live my life without the guilt I carried before.
Happy 2024 everyone
#me#coming out#transgender#surprise i was an egg all this time#life update that for once isn't a rant#life update
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(Long Overdue) Reading Update!!
Ahhhh I've been meaning to post for a while but I'm just super lazy soooo....
Last time I updated this, I had just finished reading DJATS I think? Hold on I'm going to check. *pause for me checking*
Ok yeah, the last time I updated this was when I finished Daisy Jones (which i never actually talked about how I felt about and who knows, maybe I'll finally make a post about it)
Anywaysssss.....here's my reading update. We may or may not be eight books behind. Whoops. (Seven if we don't count DJATS and for these purposes I'm not going to talk about it right now)
also dont worry abt spoilers for anything. it's completely spoiler free :)
~~~~~
First up, we have....
A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry
(completed February 23) (i know im sorry 😭)
(3/5 ⭐️)
I read this for a class, and overall I really enjoyed it. I was in a weird place mentally though, so I don't think I fully processed a lot of it otherwise this would have a much higher rating. Its a very enjoyable play though, and it's a beautiful story and beautifully written. Definitely would recommend if you enjoy plays that are grounded in realism and focus a lot around familial themes.
The Crucible by Arthur Miller
(completed March 8) (again im sorry ive been super fucking busy)
(4/5⭐️)
Honestly, I loved reading this play. I also read it for the same class, but I found this one more enjoyable, which is probably because one of my first childhood hyperfixations was on, oddly enough, the Salem Witch Trials. Which if you didn't know, that's what The Crucible is about. Anyways. It's very good, and I would definitely recommend reading it. Its a long play, but it's worth it. It explores a lot of themes of grief and paranoia and sins and it's just so fascinating and there's so much to explore within it.
Homeward Bound by Elaine Tyler May
(completed March 17) (i swear i have good reasons for not updating but im not gonna get into that unless you wanna go check up my vent blog @queenofshadows077)
(3/5⭐️)
i read this for my history class, and i have to say, i enjoyed it a lot more than i was expecting. sure, there didn't need to be a 20 page chapter about premarital sex statistics in the 1950s(seriously, why 20 pages???), but i found it very interesting otherwise. the book basically delves into the post-WWII suburbanization of American families and gender roles and societal roles, etc and I would recommend if youre looking for a nonfiction book about that particular time period.
The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennet
(completed March 22)
(5/5⭐️)
I genuinely LOVED this book. Like, seriously. Read it. IT'S WORTH THE HYPE I PROMISE. I could not put it down the entire time I was reading it. I was having way too much fun with it and i was so sad when it was over. Like, so upset. I loved the story of the twins and their lives. It's truly a beautiful, compelling novel and I want everyone to read it. It is 100% ending up on my favorites list of 2023. Please read it. Please. I beg of you. I dont wanna get too much into the plot or anything spoilery so if you wanna know more, read the overview on goodreads please! (and then read the book. do it. do. it.)
Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid
(completed march 31)
(4/5⭐️)
Ok so this is the third TJR book I've read, and I absolutely loved it!!! I read this over the course of a week on a trip I went on, and it was the perfect book to read for it. I love the way she organizes her books and the way she writes her characters. Compared to Evelyn Hugo and DJATS it's definitely not my favorite, but it was still excellent.
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid
(completed April 6)
(5/5⭐️)
This has always been one of my favorite books. This is my third time reading it, and I was inspired to reread since I had just finished Malibu Rising and had recently read DJATS. I love this book. I love Evelyn and her story and I love how TJR writes very complex characters. Always brings me to tears, it's soooo good. it's an incredible novel featuring an incredible story of a queer woman and her journeys through success, love, fame, and so much more. if you havent read it, you need to. Like, it is literally a requirement. :)
And finally....
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz
(completed April 11)
(5/5⭐️)
This was a beautiful story. Beautifully writen, characters that bare their soul and that you cant help but love, and super addicting. I literally could not put it down. the pacing was wonderful, the storytelling was so vivid and touching and i will remember this one for a long time. it's the story of two boys, Ari and Dante, as they grow up and start their journey into adulthood while also battling their own personal wars. Ari is a really interesting narrator to be in the head of and I honestly think that this author is so insanely good. So yeah. I liked it A LOT.
~~~~
That's all of them!!
see you next time!!
~Scarlett
#reading update#scarlett's books#reading with scarlett <3#scarlett's recs#djats#evelyn hugo#taylor jenkins reid#bookblr#books#booklr#booklover
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“Fourth Wing”
26/12/2023
Reading progress: 222/498 (44%)
Read through since last update: 117
Since I'm sick, I don't have much other to do than just rest and read in bed, which is the sole reason I managed to go through another 100 pages today. (I'm a slow reader so this is way more than my average.)
Again, I'm having mixed feelings of this book. I like the premise. I really do. But the writing is very sloppy, and I can't oversee it. Still, I try to enjoy the novel as much as I can.
Thoughts on this section:
That fight with Xaden was cool, but unlike Violet who completely forgot they weren't alone in the training hall, I didn't. Which made me feel as if I'm a spectator to all of it. And it felt kinda awkward, not gonna lie.
Again, I know Dain means well, but the way he talks to Violet makes it seem like he doesn't know her at all. Worst of all, he kinda gives me the impression he has some anterior motives behind his kindness, like he expects Violet to love him because he's good to her. Of course, there's no concrete evidence for this, it's just the vibe he gives off.
That whole chapter when Violet talks to Xaden was so out of pocket. She's afraid of him and he kinda wants to kill her. They're not really friends. But then Violet takes this random opportunity to vent to him? Why?
Speaking of weird dialogue, that moment during Presentation when Violet asks Rhiannon whether she's getting a nephew or a niece literally gave me whiplash. Why does that matter now? I swear the last time this was discussed was after they have survived the Parapet, 2 months ago in their time.
Violets biggest flaw in this whole book is her size. Not her lack of physical strength. Not her lack in training. Not her vulnerability. No. She's just tiny. A tiny little fragile girl. Poor, poor Violet. Too curvy. Too clumsy. Too adorable. Too unlucky. How could she ever succeed? How could she ever survive? Who will ever love her? 😢😢😢😢
Ok, that moment when the two greens are sniffing Violet was so cute.
This is also very nitpicky, but if you have a fantasy novel, you cannot use specific words tied to our world. You cannot have October because it implies a much broader history that's tied to ours.
Tynan, Oren and Jack hunting and wanting to kill the golden dragon makes absolutely zero fucking sense and it's just put in there as a lazy shock factor. It's just so stupid.
But I'm glad it worked out! Black dragon, hell yeah!
And of course Violet is going to be a little bitch when she talks to it. Girl, please. I haven't felt this much second hand embarrassment in years.
On the other hand, I really loved the following chapter when they fly together. I like Tairn as a character. And I like that there's something he's yet to reveal about himself.
Andarna is really cute too!
I am really thrown off when Violet jumps in and adds her unnecessary and stupid comments. Chapter 15 was so good, and then Yarros end it with "And all hell breaks loose". Why? What should this mean to me as a reader? Just show it to me in the next chapter.
Okay, gotta hand it to the author, I like this twist where Sgaeyl is mated with Tairn, so, by default, Violet is now connected with Xaden. This is a cool way to make this romance stronger.
On the other hand, I feel like Yarros tries to bend her own rules in order to create tension. It makes no sense to me, based on what we heard till now, that if a cadet kills a rider, they might have the chance to bond with their dragon. What's the chance of that happening? I mean, sure, it's possible, but is it realistic?
Dain, you stupid fuck. Way to go with that kiss. (Future me writing down: that little weasel kissed her just so he can look into her memories!!!)
As much as I don't like Dain, I do respect him for choosing not to pursue Violet because of his rank. And honestly, Violet had no right to judge him on that. Oh, he's too uptight, he wouldn't want to break the rules for me. Yeah, I would sure hope so! He's your superior. I'm glad his moral compass is fucking functioning.
Was really shocked by the gruesome manifestation of the mind reading signlet, but then I got lost in the guy's rambling? He revealed some interesting stuff, then nothing at all. And I hate how Dain's thoughts took the spotlight. Like, he's only thinking of what he already said a 100 times.
Andara really went "Za Warudo". Slay 💅
That's it for now! I'll be sharing more notes soon.
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I'm Thinking of Ending Things
Book
Read in it's entirety on December 5th, 2023.
This horror novel is short, coming in at few pages over 250. I started it, and I couldn't stop reading it until it was finished. It had me hooked until near the end, when I just became utterly confused (more on that below). The off-settingness of this story and it's characters and how they interact is addicting. My biggest gripe about it was the buildup; it has that slow burn feeling a majority of the book, and the ending to me didn't have a big payoff. The book ended and I desperately wanted more.
SPOILERS
Near the end of the book, when he's got her in the school, there are moments that I don't understand. How her old childhood shirt ends up there; there's mention of the whole time of a man who watched her outside of her window, and on a bench, and I don't think it's Jake? It wouldn't make sense, but I felt like that was something mentioned more than once and then... it wasn't the big bad?
THEN, the slithering of the janitor? And that Jake is actually the janitor? And he's the big bad; which that I understood even though the things surrounding it were weird. The phone calls are eerie but who's making them? We never find that out. And the girl at the Dairy Queen, how does she know? Then there is the split, where I didn't really understand anything. Did she kill herself? Did he kill himself? We're following her the whole book but then it turns into "we". I thought the interlude chapters were filling me in, but even at the end I was still confused.
Because of this, I figured I might watch the movie, because maybe seeing it unfold would make it make sense for me.
Movie
Ok, so I watched the movie today and just--
What in the hell did I just watch? It cleared nothing up for me in the slightest, even though the original author was a part of the production. Also, what the hell was that aspect ratio? Why?
SPOILERS
So the movie is unnerving, and I like the slow burn about it that matches a majority of the book. I really really like what they did with the parents, aging and de-aging, off-putting scenes and dialogue.
There was this strange difference in the movie where she outright meets the janitor, and we get the information that the janitor IS him, and she doesn't run around away from him. Instead of her going crazy and running through the school and hiding there's like... this weird lyrical dance scene.
The movie ends with an excerpt of old people watching him, older, in a musical? But he looks like him, aged up, not like the janitor.
Book vs Movie
I would say the book is worth the read, though it was hard for me to understand in the end. There are major differences, different aspects that are not in the movie that are in the book, and vice versa. Brother vs. No Brother. Experience with the watching man vs not even mentioned. The book has more emphasis on the caller, and has different descriptions of the characters than the actors portray.
2.5/5
#i'm thinking of ending things#book#movie#netflix original#horror#horror novel#slow burn#book vs movie
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March 2023 Reading Wrap-Up
(A few days late, but finally here!)
Total books read: 6
Total pages read: 2,152
Days read: 27/31
Average star rating: 3.79/5
Challenge Prompts Filled: 14 in March; 33 total. Popsugar: 4(10)/40. Romanceopoly: 5(10)/36. CRAD: 1(3)/12. BTBL: 4(11)/52
Mini reviews under the cut!
Unpregnant by Jenna Hendriks and Ted Caplan
⭐⭐⭐⭐(¼)
Me, sitting down for “a few minutes” to read on my night off work. Then, also me, closing the back cover like 90 minutes later. Once this story got under way, I was hooked. The pacing was perfect for a weekend-long, time-crunched road trip. I loved watching Ronnie rebuild her friendship with Bailey and rediscover the person she should have been all along. The only thing I might have changed was waning to see Kevin face just a few more consequences for how he kickstarted the story, but that’s Ronnie’s choice to make and I’m glad she reclaimed her agency from him. When I picked this one up from the 50 cent library sale rack, I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect from an “abortion road trip,” but this was laugh out loud funny in places, and just perfectly heartwarming in others. All of that said, Albuquerque is too far from Missouri, which was … kind of the point.
Challenge Prompts: Beat the Backlist – Featuring travel (time optional)
The Donut Trap by Julie Tieu
⭐⭐⭐⭐
This was really cute! I love second-chance romance, and the missed connections element made it even more interesting to me. It was really fun getting to watch Jasmine and Alex get to know each other for who they are, not just the images they’d built up in their heads. That said, I wasn’t a huge fan of the ex-boyfriend arc, or Alex being really jealous when Jas interacted with her ex, even though she assured him more than once that there wasn’t anything there. They were friends first, they run in the same social group, they’re going to cross paths here and there. There was some excellent personal growth, though, seeing Jas learn to go after what she wants and do things for herself. The PR/marketing angle was really fun, as someone who took a few classes and dabbled there in college, and who doesn’t love a book about donuts? (Note: as I’m writing this review like two weeks after I read the book, I’m realizing that it was cute, but largely forgettable. It’s a light, fluffy romance, but nothing that totally changed my life. Good read, definitely recommend it, but a lot of the details and such have already slipped my memory. VIVID memories of the Dodgers cap scene, though, if that sways anyone’s opinions.)
Prompts filled: Romanceopoly – Has yellow on the cover
What if It's Us? by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera
⭐⭐⭐
OK, first of all, as a proud Broadway fan, I’m ashamed to admit how long it took me to realize that the title and the section titles are all from Dear Evan Hansen lyrics. I should have caught on right away, that’s my show, but WOW did I miss that one. That said, this has been on my TBR for ages, but it’s longer than some of the other books, so I kept putting it off. I’m glad I finally pulled it out, even if it was my slowest/longest read for the month. The pacing was just about perfect, and I love the MCs. Liiiiiiitle weird for me because I know close friends irl with the names of two of the characters, but that’s a personal issue and I don’t expect it to be universally relatable. No fault of the authors that they named the characters after my friends. Again with the missed connections romances, but this one took a fun and literal spin on it for the first section of the book. It’s been a minute since I’ve thought about CL missed connections ads, but it was so much fun watching the characters try to find each other in all of NYC. And once they did, I loved getting to follow along as they navigated summer romance and that instant connection they felt to one another. The ending was beautiful, if heart-wrenching, but it helped me to know that there’s a sequel to follow up on where things left off. And I loved how chock-full it was of musical references and New York City through the eyes of someone experiencing that part of the world for the first time.
Prompts filled: Popsugar – A book with a song lyric as the title; Romanceopoly – M/M romance; BTBL – Multiple POVs
Everything Leads to You by Nina LaCour
⭐⭐⭐(½)
I judge books by their covers. I’ll say it. Especially when they’re at the dollar store so it’s a low-risk investment. The text on the cover of this one was/is SO PRETTY, and I loved the premise of “you have to do something epic this summer,” without any elaboration on what that something might be. The MCs are all freshly graduated from high school, but honestly they read enough like adults that this didn’t feel particularly YA except where it was specifically mentioned. It walked a very neat line between “handles real-world issues with characters who feel like real people” and “fluffy romance novel” that can be a hard balance to strike. I related so hard to Emi looking for the perfect couch, as someone who will get clear visions of what I’m trying to find and refuse to settle for anything less. Ava’s story is heartbreaking and beautiful, and I loved watching Emi and Charlotte try to navigate their differences from her with tact and compassion, even when they didn’t always understand what she’d been through. (Also, it’s not likely to fit better anywhere else in this review, so I’ll just point it out here: I’m picturing Clyde as Sam Elliot, and I will not be accepting constructive criticism at this time or ever.) I don’t know a lot about the inner workings of Hollywood and/or the film industry, but I really enjoyed the behind the scenes look at indie films. The ending stressed me out; there was a point where I remember clearly thinking that there was no way they’d be able to wrap everything up in the number of pages that were left, but everything felt nicely paced and the falling action wasn’t rushed. Very cute, less fluffy than other books I’ve read but not in a way that made it feel hard to digest. There were a few parts where I didn’t feel very invested in what came next, which is where the stars got knocked off, but all things considered, I enjoyed this one.
Prompts filled: Romanceopoly – Ever Afters St/Sapphic romance; Popsugar – A book about or set in Hollywood; BTBL – This house is alive (or at least very important)
A Million Little Things by Susan Mallery
⭐⭐⭐(½)
As we know, I love Susan Mallery. By and large, she writes a great blend of women’s lit and romance, all in the same story. This was a fun read, for sure, but fell a little flat for me compared to some of her others. Mostly, I think she tried to do too much with characters who spent too much time apart. The book follows three women, two best friends and one of the friends’ mothers, but for large portions of the story they’re not really on speaking terms with each other. It made the different storylines feel disjoined and distant from one another. All three stories were interesting, but I think they might have been better served separately, or at least with clearer distinguishments between the different POVs. Pam is a complicated woman and I liked watching her actively fight against her internal biases (for the record: pictured her as Wendie Malick). Jen’s growth was tangible, and her ending tugged at my heartstrings. And I LOVE Zoe. It was so rewarding to see her grow into herself as an adult and learn to take charge of her own life. Even when some of the people in her world didn’t support her, she never wavered on her own beliefs, and that’s an admirable sort of conviction. The ending felt abrupt, though. Jen’s storyline was resolved pretty completely, but everyone else’s seemed to be left more open/ambiguious -- which isn’t necessarily a bad way to end a story, but it left things feeling a little unbalanced between the three MCs. All in all, Mallery is still one of, if not my favorite author, but there are other books of hers that I’d recommend over this one.
Prompts Filled: BTBL – Family drama; Romanceopoly – Spring/secret pregnancy; Popsugar: Book about a family
Just My Type by Falon Ballard
⭐⭐⭐(½)
I love this one! What an excellent impulse purchase at Target, even if I came home from the store and remembered that I’d already been approved for the ARC and forgotten to read it before publication. Everything from the bright purple color to the journalism-themed second-chance love story felt like it was catered perfectly to my tastes, and once I made it into the story, I was excited to find out that I was right! The characters feel so real and authentic, down to their little quirks and cell phone ringtones in a way that made the story so incredibly immersive. The idea of a love story that's centered around staying single was unlike anything I've read before, and I loved watching Lana grow into herself as a person. Outside of the romance plotlines, there was just enough side plot about her life (her mom, her boss, her bestie, etc) that she felt like such a REAL person, not one half of a love story. The only thing I'd have liked to see in the ending was a bit of closure on her friend's relationship status (if you know, you know). Now I'm going to have to go back and read Lease on Love, and I can't wait to find out what stories come next!
Prompts Filled: CRAD March (starts with next letter in the alphabet); Popsugar: BookTok recommendation; Romanceopoly: Flirts Corner/Contemporary romance by an author I haven’t tried before.
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Challenge #1
This challenge has to do with the bad hand we were dealt. I felt like I had a manageable hand.
My health was a concern. My parents were old when I was born, 40 mom and 45 dad. Who knows how my health will be in the future because they decided to be old parents. Mom was always kinda sickly and I knew I inherited something not amazing if her health was like that. I'm often tired and was never able to run long distances. I struggle with ADHD and paying attention. I still can't run a mile but have to jog/walk it. I don't have any structural health problems or diseases.
I felt the most insecure in my education. In elementary, I tried really hard to do well in school. I would fill out those huge Costco Grade X workbooks and collect the moneys from mom and grandma. Ok, I did it all for money. I would read tons of books and compete to get many leaves on the reading tree (grade 5). I came in 2nd. To be fair, I had to compete with the girl who brought a book to our Girl Scouts Christmas party and anti-socialed us to re-read Harry Potter. She's hilariously and fittingly a Librarian now.
I wasn't bullied but I could see being the weird vomit girl could cause me to be bullied. By middle, I was struggling with anxiety but that horrifying type where I would vomit a lot. I would get the cold sweats, rapid heart beat, and my hearing would intensify. It destroyed my health and body. Something about Catholicism and Catholic school didn't sit well with me. I'm glad my teacher was so understanding, the school nurse wasn't. The first time she called my mom to pick me up, she told her nevermind because I was reading a book while waiting lmao. I should have seen a doctor, psychiatrist, anybody. I was already very skinny and losing my breakfast or lunch every few days if not everyday is very extreme. By 7th grade, I was more comfortable with that school. Going to public school would have been a nightmare, I'm glad I stuck it out.
My mom didn't want to pay for the nice Catholic high school all of my friends were going to. It was beautiful and a mile from the beach, we just couldn't afford it. In middle school, I was playing too many video games and totally forgot about school. Grades and studying were not a concern. I didn't appreciate school and didn't deserve to go. I think a lot of people my age are like this. I did the homework, did the schoolwork, did the projects, and never studied. I went to the local Catholic school, very fucking good for sportsball and that's about it.
By high school, I made some friends but not close friends. I stopped caring about school but did the same as middle school. I went to an ok state school after getting rejected by my first choice. I was obviously not going to get a 3.5GPA to enter the nursing program, so stupidly switched to premed. I got a rude fucking awakening after skating by in school for so long. I was too dumb for premed but finished the degree.
I actually had to study to get good grades. Instead of letting that destroy my self-worth like I've seen it destroy others I learned how to study and be productive. I didn't think 'whoops got a B+ in intro to intro to chem, guess I better drop out of college.' It probably didn't effect me because I knew I was kinda dumb and didn't put much stock in being 'naturally smart' the way mom likes to blow smoke up my ass. Keeping in mind, she's the one who went to UCLA. I don't know their rank in the 70s but it was #14 in the US and News Report for Global University rankings in 2022-2023. Sooooo whatever mom. From then on, I knew I had to put the effort in. I just knew I had to graduate and min wage jobs are not my jam.
I switched to computer science, got the degree and am now working as a programmer. It's not even really programming. I'm not at a big tech company and I probably never will be but I want to. Damn, do I want to. I want the free lunch. I can't even be a charity case hire because there's no free money anymore.
I'd say I have achieved things many others haven't but I'm still dissatisfied. I got my degrees, I got my name on a research paper, I got a very high impact project, I got a cute bf and we're getting married in about a year. My limiting factor is still my time management and my ability to work hard, which is why I'm doing the 100 days of productivity and ill do another 100 until I get what I want. Nobody is standing in my way, it just me and my brain and a quiet life of no impact and mediocrity waiting in the wings. I'm not underappreciated or overlooked for opportunities, they're out there I just need to get started.
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