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#oh ok they are birds I guess?
anewbeginningagain · 2 years
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Why are the french team wearing a Parrot on their costumes?
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cryptiduni · 10 months
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…i just saw this poll and my unevolved brain gel wriggled inside my cranium like a feral fish:
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idk how you look at his official art and call him conventionally attractive. my man looks like a wet dog and has eyebags for daysss. face full of pox scars, skin pale af, and those shaggy ass hair & a rugged beard hanging from his flat long face.
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he is pretty *to me* but like dude???
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—not exactly a heartthrob boy band material is he?
obv I wouldn’t call him “misunderstood baby uwu” if we are talking a little more seriously —but to be fair jean is having possibly the worst week of his life. the car? fucking sunk. case? unsolved. not to mention his close partner (who is also an ass mind you) doesn’t even remember him, already running around with a new one.
yeah he is absolutely foul and aggressive and degrading harry but like i said before (in my tag essay lol) judit also makes ableist comments and i don’t see people hating her because she’s outwardly nice—
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and respects harry as her superior. her BOSS.
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(also a friend with benefits? /nope, it’s just him harassing judit/ as well but not as a complicated relationship compared jean and harry’s brötherbund. only a few months of acquaintanceship.)
plus it’s highhlyyy likely that harry is not the only one substance abuse. —look at jean’s rudolf-looking-red-ass-nose. a drunkard’s sniffers. probably had few lines with him late at night… when your lifetime partner is an alcoholic it's hard to say no.
about the left for dead thing, they left because harry told them to fuck off. tbh harry is nightmare to work with esp pre-bender. (and am saying as a pathetic little unmedicated neurodivergent woman.)
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but when the second time they left revachol was not jean’s fault, and it was judit’s suggestion anyway. the squad probably thought that since harry had someone a little more responsible looking after him. it will be fine when they come back. the tribunal was absolutely unaccounted for.
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yet despite all of these things, he will try to come back to make sure he is ok and accommodate harrier to the best of his abilities which is wearing very thin. look at him trying to make up to our harry boy:
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anyways am incapable of writing coherent thoughts (even though i want to talk about it for hours) that make sense so go look at sygneth’s jean psychological analysis instead. it is an excellent read. please go read.
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marisetcaelum · 10 months
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what does your blood taste like?
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mulled wine. your blood tastes like mulled wine, a drink typically made with red wine and mulling spices. prominent flavors: fruity, sweet, and cinnamon.
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cabernet sauvignon. your blood tastes like cabernet sauvignon, a dry red wine. prominent flavors: dark fruits, pepper, and vanilla from oak aging.
tagged by: @phantomcurtaincall
tagging: @emcads / @terrorpenned @paddyfuck @honorhearted @himbohotel @his-request
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leatherbookmark · 1 year
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gently shakes mxtx hoping some worldbuilding falls out
#this is re: the night hunts discovery but also in general#you have shit like chapter 2/3 mentioning wwx coming up with a classification of the 'severity' of the hauntings based on how many people#were killed in a timespan. or the fact that apparently there's A list of the most ??? young masters#but like. details? how did these came to be? they're just thrown into the wind and Deal With It Dear Reader#who came up with the ranking. are there monthly polls that the young ladies from the cultivating families vote on#is this something an association of matchmakers came up with. is this something out of a 'magazine' for non-cultivators#because i guess cultivators are kinda like celebrities in this 'verse? what are the criteria? WE JUST DON'T KNOW DOT BIRD#and the night hunts. what IS a night hunt. is this when people are like 'help i am being haunted/something is OFF'#is this when there are some vague reports and a group of cultivators goes 'ok we meet on the 15th around 5pm and#whoever deals with the Thing first gets to harass the locals for the payment'#is this an official tournament organized by one of the cultivating sects?#what's the difference in 'there's a Weird Beast That Oozes Slime' and 'this woman saw her child and husband get eaten#alive by a furious ghost' and are they both equally game-fied#because like. iirc the organization of a Big Official Tournament-like 'night hunt' requires one to... gather? the monsters?#oh yeah and there's that. what's the monster/ghost/fuckery density in this world. am i going to stumble on 13 different#ghosts/monsters/whatever 5 minutes into what was supposed to be a pleasant walk in the woods OR are they#more like... rare? i don't know man. i'm already tired#and like DON'T system me i know. i know this is a webnovel its purpose is Not to have impeccable everything#it's primarily a fun romp with oooooo main gay couple!! but. nng#shrimp thoughts
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crossbackpoke-check · 2 years
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hiii! just wanted to pop into your asks to say thank you so much for always leaving such lovely comments on my artwork! i just love reading through the tags you write for them, it makes my day. please never change! 💓 i loved seeing the ideas you had for the devil!nico/jack drawing i posted, they were SO adorable ( OH and the demon squishmallow is named dante, like dante’s inferno )! again, thank you for being so sweet!
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no YOU thank you so much for creating such wonderful artwork!!! it’s an absolute joy to get to see it, i’m so glad you choose to share it with us 💕💕💕💕 thank you so so much and it makes me so happy to hear that you like my tags 🥺🥰☺️ ALSO!! that’s so cute 😭😭 i love that the devil squishmallow is named dante it’s alliteration and clever
#i can promise i will continue to be an enormous fan of you & your art#not even kidding!!! i can’t believe this!!! did you feel me working up the courage to talk to you!!!!#me about to come into your dms like ‘hi i just needed to say i literally HAVE NOT stopped thinking about your devil!nico i love him so much’#‘it’s been a week & yesterday i went ‘ok but nico’s pointed nails r like. natural stilettos they r PERFECT for nail polish :) demon spa day’#that’s cosmic FATE baybe 🥰🥰🥰 same brain same brain same brain (the brain is love & appreciation)#liv in the replies#anyway. guess who just looked up squishmallows & was like haha what if there’s a jack russell terrier one for jack and GUESS WHAT#there’s not but there IS a little black cat exclusive 500 edition squishmallow named jack who has the cutest little 😌 face &#‘can be a little feisty but he loves to cuddle’ i’m on the floor wheezing of all the squishmallows to be named jack. it’s a little black cat#(notably a *spooky* animal witch familiar which. jack summoned a demon) & it’s exclusive & has a pale pink nose/mouth he’s DELICATE & PRETTY#QUINN IS A KANGAROO I REPEAT QUINN IS A PEACH KANGAROO INTROVERT quinn eldest daughter kangaroo pouch thesis… macropods#luke is a little lamb 🥺 i would have said a puppy but he’s literally the baby the 8’’ version comes w/a rattle HE’S PART OF THE BABY SQUAD#have i devolved into looking up hockey players as squishmallows? YES BECAUSE THERE’S ONE NAMED JOELLE & IT’S BIGFOOT LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME#joelle is part of the sassy squad and i am slowly losing it because there is also a winter joelle AND an aus winter joelle#which is exclusive to australia & i did think about the line where joel goes ‘cool have you ever seen a koala’ to raff & wheeze laugh softly#laying my head down on my desk &weeping verbatim from the site connor the cow is at the finish line waiting 4u! connor is quite the athlete#plus serge(i) the skeleton bird… sid the snail… stevie the cactus… nathan gamer cat mackinnon… i’m having too much fun#i don’t NEED squishmallows but also the desire to buy dante just because of devil!nico has been slowly growing stronger#also me: but what if u reread the inferno so u can pick out a title for the fic u are(n’t) going to write & use that as the demon structure#oh editing also 2 say: if u didn’t want me to publish this i can take it down! i do Not know how to answer asks privately even after years
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baby-prophet · 1 year
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aw man I meant to spend time transferring videos from my phone to my computer but lost track of time :(
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chisatowo · 1 year
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I love nuzlocks you get forced to use pokemon you would never use otherwise (especially in randomizers) and then you can chose out fun naming themes and have a fun little lineup of guys that you may or may not get to use and then there's the horrors
#rat rambles#anyways guess who started a white 2 randomized nuzlock and immediately got its ass handed to it by roxie#is this me being punished for not campaining for her harder on the fictional band bracket? Im so sorry roxie </3#I straight up was preparing to have to reset like it got Bad#for some context; she had a brave bird spamming ho-oh#at the time my team consisted of a virizion blastoise tangela sableye and gligar#now I had planned on having my virizion (named nene) do most of the heavy lifting since most of my team was pretty pathetic still#but ofc with that fun 4 times weakness I had to change plans and since I had gotten volt switch tm early due to randomized items I had#already taught it to a couple of my pokemon so I was like ok. I will pull out an (my gligar) and volt switch into rui (my sableye)#in hindsight that was already a bad plan but yeah it outsped and killed an which I was distraught abt since I love both an and gligar#I wasnt quite panicking yet but I was worried but I still sent in rui since he knew volt switch too and I wanted to get a least a decent#bit of damage off before switching to haruka and playing the chipping game#it outsped. rui died. so I was like fuck fuck fuck is this thing just gonna sweep my fucking team#it didnt one shot haruka but it was critting range. I tried my best to heal stall but alas crit it did#at this point I needed nene to somehow kill this thing in one turn with only pathetic or not effective moves#I pull out double kick. it crits one hit and the other brings it to 1 hp. not dead. it kills nene#at this point I fully think Im fucked. I only have one pokemon left and its my weak ass tangela. I am fully prepared to reset.#I send out mafuyu the tangela. I see that last brave bird go off. and then I realize that I had forgotten something#I had randomized pokemon abilities#mafuyu had sturdy#and just like that. with 1 hp. I somehow managed to make it out of that gym alive.#in hindsight if I had known mafuyu jad sturdy I could have definitely avoided a lot of those deaths but welp. I didnt so.#and of course its fucking mafuyu that survived and that I am now unreasonably attatched to#I managed to rebuild a bit of a team before burg tho since they kindly give 3 encounters so now I have kanade the shelgon airi the pignite#and saki the whiscash which admittedly not ideal for me rn due to some miscaculations on my part of when mafuyu would evolve#and kanade has. the camoflague ability. like fuck man not on the dragon type#airi isnt bad tho as long as I dont kill her instantly she should make for a pretty reliable pokemon in these trying times#saki isnt. the best. but she isnt necesarily bad right now she just will probably fall off a bit later on#if kanade can survive to level 50 tho thatll be great I could use the power even if camoflague salamance isnt. great.#from my limited understanding of pokemon meta anyways dhdmgskdh
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2-wuv · 1 year
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Oh Christ Alive This Everything Is So Cold . What's a bitch gotta do to get some warmth around here.
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mountainsandmayhem · 3 months
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Taste Her, Little Dove (18+)
Joel Miller x f!reader x female
Summary: Joel encourages you to indulge in your curiosities towards women.  CW: girl on girl (Happy International Women’s Day), oral (f!receiving), fingering, dirty talk, pet names (little dove, baby etc.), sub/domme dynamics, sort of voyeurism on Joel's part, male masturbation, lots of orgasms, one night stand AN: practice safe sex!! This is unprotected sex, be better than my writing! STI’s may be less likely in lesbian hookups but please use dental dams or gloves with a partner that you don’t know. Stay safe! Dividers by @saradika-graphics WC 3.6k
More Little Dove Here
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You sit at the kitchen table, phone open in one hand reading an article, fresh morning coffee in the other. “What’s it like to go down on a girl?”
Joel almost chokes on his coffee, folding the corner of his newspaper down and looking at you over his reading glasses. 
“Jesus, babe. It’s 8 am!” His hair is tousled with sleep, still wearing just his boxers and a white t-shirt. 
“Didn’t realize 8 am was prude hour,” you joke. Cupping your hot coffee in both hands and inhaling the steam. 
“It’s just not what I thought was going to come out of your mouth.” He says with a laugh, putting the paper down and placing his glasses on top of it. “You never cease to amaze me, my love.”
“Well, I adopted Ellie in my second year of college, the first year I was too busy with classes. I didn’t get those wild college years. You know?” 
The sounds of the morning birds chirping merrily fills the kitchen for a moment while Joel looks at you. 
“Alright. I fucking love it. It’s powerful watching you fall apart as I lick you.” He smirks a little, a dimple forming in his cheek before he sips his coffee. 
“So the same way I feel when I give you a blow job?” You shrug. 
“I guess. I don’t know, the female anatomy is a lot more complex, but finding that right combination of licking and sucking, along with fingers. It’s like…” he trails off, thinking for a moment, “like a game of chess. Every time I go down on you it’s different. Sometimes you like the tip of my tongue to flick roughly, other times you like gentle kitten licks and lots of kisses. I almost have to read you and figure out the best way to win the game.” 
“Huh,” you suddenly feel a little insecure, he’s doing all that work and you - “I just do the same thing every time. Am I doing it wrong?”
“No babes,” he laughs, reaching across and taking your hand in his. His thumb caresses the smooth skin along the top of your hand. “Dicks are pretty easy. Grip them and move up and down. You are amazing at blow jobs.” 
He smiles at you and your gaze falls back to your phone. He picks up his glasses and paper and goes back to reading. After a few minutes, you break the silence. 
“How would you feel about me going down on a woman?” 
His eyes light up as he takes you in, he bites his cheek to stop the shit eating grin he can feel forming. “Go on….”
“I’m curious. I’ve never been with a woman.” 
“Ok,” he folds the paper up again. “Are you doing this for you? Is this something YOU want?” 
“Yes,” you say confidently. 
“Ok. So are you asking for a threesome? Because if I’m being honest, I don’t think I want to be with another woman.” 
“No! Oh god,” you try to stop your voice from sounding horrified, “I don’t want to see you with anyone.”
You’re quiet for a second before adding, “You know what, nevermind. I don’t like this.” 
“What baby?” He asks encouragingly. 
“I feel selfish. I’m going to ask you to let me indulge in my curiosities when there’s nothing in it for you but to watch. I’d want you there.” 
“Hey,” he stands and walks to your side of the table. He stops behind you, wrapping his strong arms around you and rests his chin on your shoulder. “You’re not being selfish. I don’t want to be with anyone else but I sure as fuck would watch you play with another woman.”
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Finding a woman was surprisingly easy. After taking Joel’s advice, you put on a little red dress and the two of you headed to a bar near your house. Joel went in first and sat at a booth near the back, ordering himself a whiskey. After touching up your lipstick and fluffing your hair in the rearview mirror you strutted into that bar like you owned the place. Heels clicked on the floor as you walked over to the bar and ordered a martini. You sat there, eyes flicking around at the patrons, trying to make yourself look approachable. 
A gorgeous long-haired brunette woman was sitting across from you with an almost empty drink. This was your chance, you call the bartender over and ask him to send her a drink. As he walked over to her the music in the room seemed louder, and butterflies started to flutter around your stomach. But she took the drink and then came to sit with you. 
She agreed to let Joel sit in the wingback chair in the corner of your room. “I’m not interested though, lover boy. So you can watch but hands off.” 
Joel smirked at her, “Feelings mutual. I’m only interested in my Little Dove.” 
Now that the three of you are in your bedroom, you’re not as confident. She’s completely naked, you just a bra and panties, and Joel sitting in the dark corner, ankle resting on his knee. 
“Give me a colour, Little Dove.” 
“Green,” you say shakily, hands hanging by your sides and eyes dancing around the naked woman in front of you. She steps forward, linking her fingers with yours. You lean into her touch, the tip of your nose tracing down the bridge of hers. 
“Can I take your bra and panties off?” She whispers. You hear Joel stifle a groan, which encourages you to keep going. 
“Yes please,” your hands trail up her arms as she reaches behind you to unclasp your bra. The cool air pebbles your nipples as the garment falls to the floor.  Her soft lips find your neck, kissing towards the dip on your collarbone, her thumbs hooking into the waistband of your lacy panties. 
“Don’t stop,” you whimper, hands sliding into her long hair, guiding her to your aching nipples. Her tongue flicks over one as she gets to her knees, panties slipping down along your thighs as she goes. You use her shoulder to balance you as you step out of your thong. 
“You’re so wet for me,” she hums, kissing up your thighs to your hip bones. You won’t survive if both she and Joel start talking, and that’s further solidified when Joel’s deep voice adds, “Good girl, Little Dove” from the corner of the room. 
Your body shutters as she stands, sucking a peaked nipple into her mouth. She sucks and licks, the other hand teasing your slit. Your head falls back and you gasp at the feeling of her. Being with a woman is so different from being with Joel. She’s soft, her hands are like silk as they move across you. 
“Get on the bed,” you moan. You swear you hear Joel’s breath become heavier as he watches you. When you glance towards him he’s in the same position, chin resting between his thumb and forefinger, elbow perched on the arm of the chair. He shoots you a wink before you climb into bed. She’s on her back, legs open for you and can’t help but lick your lips at the sight of her puffy pink pussy. She’s glistening for you and you swell with pride at how you made her like that. 
Laying on top of her you start kissing her lips and grind your hips into hers. She moans into your mouth, hands grabbing your ass. “I wanna lick your pussy,” she says between kisses, “please.” 
You already know she likes to be in control, it was part of your conversation at the bar and with Joel. The two of you roll in tandem, sheets tugging around you before she throws them off. A groaned ‘holy fuck’ floats across the room. Joel is loving this more than the two of you. 
She settles herself between your thighs, her warm breath hitting your clit, causing it to twitch. She stares up at you as you writhe underneath her, your eyes clamped shut. “Look at me,” she says, voice husky. 
You peel your eyes open, they flick to Joel and then settle on her. The bedside lamp casts warm lighting across her face. She’s truly quite beautiful and you can’t help but notice the similarities between her and Joel. Deep brown hair, and warm amber-coloured eyes, she licks her plush lips before teasing your clit with the tip of her tongue. Pleasure courses through your body and your hips buck forward involuntarily. 
“Sssh,” she hushes you gently, and one of her forearms comes to rest across your pelvis. “Do you like that?” 
“Y-yes,” you coo, “again. Please.” 
“Mmmm,” she hums, teasing you again before adding, “such good manners.” 
Little sparks fizzle across your whole body at her gentle caresses. So different from when Joel devours you. Her arm is slender and soft against your belly, no facial hair to tickle your inner thighs. You moan her name, hands tangling in the sheets as that ache builds. 
“You gonna cum for her, Little Dove?” Joel’s voice is deep and thick with arousal. Your eyes flick back to him, he looks dangerous sitting in the dark like you’re the prey, which is exactly how you like it when it comes to Joel. The tongue between your legs stops and you cry out at the loss, “No, please.” 
She’s quickly up to be inline with you, one hand gripping your face under your chin, squeezing your cheeks slightly. You moan, yes being the prey is exactly how you like it. 
“Don’t look at him. You’re mine,” she kisses you hard before pulling back and adding, “Do you understand?” 
Joel's heavy breathing fills your ears and you can’t help but look at him. “Tsk, tsk,” she taunts and then turns to Joel. 
“I think she needs to be taught a lesson. Is that ok with you?” 
They’re wholly focused on each other, almost as if you aren’t even in the room. “My Little Dove will never learn,” he says, “what do you have in mind?” 
She glances back at you with a mischievous grin, “Come sit behind her and hold her down.” 
Joel stands, adjusting himself in his jeans as he walks over. The bed dips under his weight, he props a few pillows against the headboard before hooking his arms under you and pulling you flush against his chest. His hard cock throbbing against your lower back. 
She laughs at you, “can’t see him now. Can you?” 
You shake your head. “Answer your mistress, Little Dove,” Joel whispers in your ear in quiet demands. 
“N-no mistress,” you whisper. 
“That’s better,” she says, nails tickling your inner thighs. “Open your legs, he’s going to hold you open for me and I’m not stopping until you beg.” 
You swallow hard, Joel’s cock jumps before he reaches for your legs, strong hands wrapping around the back of your thighs, pulling them towards your chest and encouraging you to open more. She dives in with much more hunger this time, lapping at your clit. 
You throw your head back to rest on Joel’s shoulder. “Oh fuuuck, don’t stop.” 
She doesn’t listen, stopping abruptly and laying a quick slap on your inner thigh. Joel hisses in your ear and your eyes widen in shock and arousal. “Watch your mouth,” she says in a dark, commanding tone that you didn’t think a sweet looking woman like her was capable of. 
“Sorry, mistress.” The heat from her slap travels up your thigh to your pussy and it clenches around nothing. “Felt s’good,” you whine. 
“No swearing,” two of her fingers tease your entrance. “Good girls don’t say words like fuck,” her fingers slide into you and you bite your lip hard to stop from swearing and yelling and moaning. 
“Say yes mistress,” she taunts, curling her fingers forward. 
Joel’s strong arms hold you down, you’re completely at her mercy. “Ye - oh god - y-y-yes mistress.” 
“Do you wanna cum, baby?” Joel whispers as she continues teasing you, bringing the tip of her tongue to tickle your clit again. 
“Mmm-hmm,” you moan, turning your head to nuzzle into Joel’s neck. And your body tenses up into his grip. 
“Ask her nicely,” he says. 
“Mistress, fuuu-, can I cum?” It comes out in a high-pitched moan, you’re clenching so hard to not cum, teetering right on the edge. 
“Only if you scream my name while you do it,” she says in her demanding tone, working her fingers inside you faster. 
Joel’s thumbs rub little circles on your legs and after you relax into him you release. Pinned by Joel the orgasm runs through you hard and fast, and it’s over too soon, but she keeps going. That familiar tingle builds quickly again and before you’ve caught your breath you cum again, screaming her name over and over as you cum on her hand and mouth. 
She sucks your clit into her mouth. Stars start to light up in your vision, muscles start to hurt from how badly you’re shaking. As you start to cum again it all starts to feel like too much. “Stop. Stop. Please!” You beg. 
She releases your clit with a pop and slows her fingers. “Look at me sweet girl,” she coos. She smiles at you gently when you make eye contact, it's almost like looking at a completely different person from the woman who slapped your inner thigh just minutes ago, “Do you actually want me to stop.” 
“Yes, sorry. But yes.” You say, gasping for breath. 
She slides her fingers out and Joel releases your legs. They whisper to one another and Joel slides himself out from behind you and heads back to his chair. She pulls you into her arms, head resting on her soft breasts. No wonder Joel likes to cuddle up to you like this, it’s warm and inviting. You can hear her heart beating softly as she plays with your hair with one hand. The other draws little circles up and down the arm you’ve draped across her. 
It’s silent for a while before you start to giggle. 
“What’s so funny, Little Dove?” Joel’s voice is light. He’s used to this part when you come down from the high and have a feeling of comfort and elation. It might be his favourite part, especially now that he’s seeing it happening from the outside. Your cheeks are pink, and your hair is disheveled, but there’s a big happy grin on your face. 
“Fuck. That was….” You trail off, looking up into her brown eyes. “Well, that was amazing.” 
“Good,” she cranes her neck to kiss you lightly. 
“Umm, can I?” You ask, hand trailing down her body and stopping just above the slit of her pussy. You pout out your bottom lip at her, eyes turned soft and pleading. 
“Christ, lover boy.” She says to Joel but doesn’t break eye contact with you, “How do you ever say no to this sweet girl?” 
Joel chuckles from the corner. “I don’t.” 
You take her sly smile as a silent yes and climb on top of her, taking one of her nipples in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it while you use your knee to nudge her legs apart. Kneeling between her parted thighs you kiss across her chest to her other nipple, cupping her breast in your hands and massaging them gently. 
Hearing her little moans leave her lips is intoxicating. When Joel moans it’s usually deep and from his chest, but she’s so pliant to you right now, sweet, little high-pitched whimpers leaving her parted lips. 
You kiss down her body, gently nipping at her hip bone, a small squeak of surprise fills the room. You kiss the sore spot gently and settle yourself between her legs. Now that you’re this close to her pussy you are almost unsure of yourself. You swallow the lump building in your throat. Joel can see you hesitating. 
“Taste her, Little Dove,” he whispers. “Just place a long lick from the bottom to the top. Go slowly.” 
You place your tongue flat near the entrance and slowly slide your tongue up. She tastes amazing. Sweet with a hint of saltiness, she gasps and twitches as you hit certain spots. 
“Did you feel that, baby?” Joel asks. 
You nod your head and repeat the same lick, mapping out the spots that drive her wild. Once you have them figured out Joel speaks up again, “Good girl. Use the tip of your tongue and put more pressure on those spots. Swirl your tongue around them. Figure out what makes her twitch.” 
“Fuck this is so hot,” she whimpers as you follow Joel’s instructions. 
You swirl your tongue around her hardening clit, before lapping up the fresh wave of her arousal, moaning at the taste of her. She’s shifting underneath you, one of her hands tangling in your hair. 
“Tease her with your fingers, Little Dove. Slide one in, just a little while you lick her.” 
“Yesyesyes” she chants, breaths coming in quickly. The way her breasts rise and fall causes a throb in between your legs. You thought you were orgasmed out but she looks incredible. You slide your middle finger in, stopping at the first knuckle, curling it forward. She cries out, you aren’t ready for her to cum yet so you pull your tongue away and place little kisses around her mound, carefully avoiding the sensitive spots as you explore her more with your finger. 
“You’re so tight. Do you want me to use two?” You ask, sliding your finger in all the way. If you were Joel, you’d never want to be anywhere else than in between your legs. He was right, this is a feeling that can’t be described. There’s an almost overwhelming sense of power once you’ve figured out what they like and have relaxed enough to enjoy it. 
“Please. Oh god - yes please.” She’s almost mumbling the words between moans and when you slide your ring finger in with the middle her legs start to shake. 
“You gonna cum?” You ask, kitten licking at her clit. 
“Don’t stop,” she whines. You curl your fingers again hearing the squelching of how wet you’ve made her and then suck her hard little clit into your mouth. She calls your name out to the room, “Yes yes. Just like that. Fuuuuuck.” 
You can feel her cunt tightening around your fingers. “Stay at the pace, Little Dove. You’re doing so well.” Joel’s voice seems thicker and you wonder if he’s touching himself, but you keep your focus on her. She looks like a goddess in the dim lighting of the room, head thrown back and mouth open, calling out your name through her moans. You feel the wetness between your thighs growing. 
“I’m gonna cum,” she cries before you feel her pussy spasm around your fingers. You keep your pace the same, curling your fingers forward and tracing the edges of her pulsing clit. You’ll go until she says to stop, even if your jaw is starting to cramp. You feel drunk watching her, this is so much better than you could have imagined. 
“Ride me,” she says, squirming out of your grasp. She straightens one leg and you crawl up, straddling yourself around her raised leg, hooking her knee in your arm across your body. The wetness between the two of you is magical, sliding your clits against each other. 
You can see Joel now, he shifts in the chair as he removes his jeans, freeing his cock from his boxers. He spits in his palm and starts to stroke himself in time with the two of you. 
“Does that feel good?” She asks, bringing your eyes back to her. 
You nod, biting your bottom lip as the tension behind your belly button starts to build. You grind your hips in slow circles as she moves back and forth, both of you growing wetter. 
“God your pussy feels so good against mine,” you moan between her gasps. “You’re making such a mess.” 
She wraps her hands around your hips and pushes you down onto her hard, grinding into you faster as both of you start to breathe heavier. “Don’t fuck stop,” she whines. 
“So needy. This little pussy,” you say. You’re not entirely sure what’s come over you, Joel’s ragged breaths from his chair fill you with encouragement, he loves hearing you talk dirty to her. “Wanna cum all over your tight cunt.” 
You hear Joel’s breathing jump, glancing over to see him spilling into his hand. The tension in your stomach snaps, and you look back at her as the two of you cum together, grinding sloppily. The sounds of your wet pussy’s rubbing together and your moans and squeals are the only thing you can hear. 
You both ride it out together, you feel like you’ve been cumming for hours by the time it slows. Both of you calming your movements. You kiss her kneecap before falling to the bed beside her, the two of you gasping for breath. Joel sits quietly, smiling over at you. 
“Fuck,” she says after a few minutes of silence. “Are you sure you aren’t a lesbian?” 
You and Joel both laugh. “I think it’s safe to say that my Little Dove is bisexual.” 
You giggle to the ceiling and then look towards her, “I think it’s safe to say that I’m only straight for Joel Miller.” 
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Taglist:
@corazondebeskar @hiddenbabynyc @rainstorms-library @smutsmutslut @sullyrocky44 @keylimebeag  @pimosworld @casa-boiardi @pedritoferg @paleidiot @lorilane33 @pansexual-potatoes @baar-ur @jessthebaker @jasminedragoon @koshkaj-blog @pedroswife69 @strawberri-blonde  @none-of-this-makes-any-sense @iloveenya @javierpena-inatacvest @wannab-urs
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thechekhov · 4 months
Text
Chekhov Reads Dungeon Meshi: CH48
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I KNEW in theory that they were on an island, but it's still such a huge wakeup call to realize that it's TINY and there are many more dungeons on the mainland.
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Stuck between the hilarity of Senshi McGoogly Eyes being carried off by what is essentially a bird with some back legs (good thing it didn't try to gut him midair by kicking like big cats do).......... and the horror of a giant thing just carrying one of your friends off much, much faster than you can ever run.
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I really love the environment here. Absolutely chilling on so many levels. Bravo.
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Love that aside from Forbidden Necromancy we are now also introducing Forbidden Transmutation into the mix. That's a nice change of pace.
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Marcille really is lawful evil. Like, she'll break the rules...... but only after there are solid rules to break.
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...I've never caught that. I always assumed Senshi was just one of the first ones in. But the dungeon had existed for far longer. Maybe he's just been in there...... having a good time on his own? Imagine his surprise when his tunnels are suddenly filled with adventurers.
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It COULD be. It could also be that he's from further away, and he came to the dungeon through tunnels, instead of up top.
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THEY'RE PERFECT.
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AWWW, HE ANGY.
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The braincell. Is in position.
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................................ Laios no. This is not the time for your sparkledog OC. Please. Laios please be serious.
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Oh, he's actually being reasonable about this! :0
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.....w...why was that the natural move...? Lions don't kick.... But ok I guess lmao
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This feels like a conversation Kui san had with her editor.....
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You just know this thing will be weird looking.
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OR extremely silly. I'll take it!
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Artists making the faces they draw energy.
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Oh, hey that worked! But..... :( the skyfish buddy........
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NOOOOOOOO HOW COULD YOU
(´。_。`)
I MEAN YEAH HE'S FULL OF VEGETABLES BUT--
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He does look delicious, not gonna lie. And it's a Laios special!!
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Are we about to have Senshi backstory for dessert?
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Just drop that little tidbit at the end, yeah, go right ahead hahaha. "due to various circumstances"......... is that your work or DIVORCE?
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hang on a second
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SENSHI IS STEVEN UNIVERSE CONFIRMED????
Okay,I kid but. He's so young! Not even a proper dwarf yet! How old WAS he? Why go on this expedition????
I'm INTRIGUED!
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yorshie · 11 months
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Dunno if you still take requests. But maybe for when you feel like it? (No pressure tho. You can totally ignore this if it isn't up you alley.)
How do them turtle dudes like to romance their honeys? Like who uses strategy (badly)? Who goes with the flow (also badly)? Who just blurts it out the first moment they realize what they're feeling (so SO badly)? And who just buries it behind heaps and heaps of repression (the absolute worst)?
And what about after being assured that their feelings are reciprocated? Is there a change in behavior or demeanor?
🧁
Cupcake Nonnie, I am so sorry. I have no excuse. I have no idea why this was so hard to write, or why it took so long.
I decided two birds one stone sort of thing with this one, a blurb about how exactly starting a relationship with each turtle might go, followed with headcanon style of what they would expect out of a relationship, how it would progress, and how a good relationship would affect them.
As always set in 2023 so turtles are 24-25, SFW
Michelangelo
By the time Michelangelo asked you to be his girlfriend, you low key thought you’d already been going steady for about a month. The turtle shows up like clockwork every Friday at your place, with a pizza and a soda, and the two of you stay up late watching movies while cuddling on the couch. Several times, you’ve woken to him stealing a hug or a nuzzle before leaving before the sun’s up. 
So when he turns from the movie unexpectedly one night, the last item on your ‘what is Angelo about to ask me’ bingo card was a sheepish:
“Hey, babes, would you- will you be my girlfriend?”
You stared at him for a whole scene, taking in those baby blues, before you blurted out your own question. “I thought I already was?”
“Oh. Ok. Cool.” And he grinned like it was nothing, turning back to the tv, leaving you still staring at the side of his head like he’d turn back around with a ‘gotcha’. 
Needless to say, you didn’t pay attention to the rest of the movie. Mikey, to his credit, picked up on your mood during the credits, and you had a long conversation over what exactly the two of you wanted to be to the other.
Mikey’s love language is physical touch and quality time spent together
Angelo loves PDA. Soft kisses and nuzzles, hugs, you name it, he’ll try and get away with it. One of his favorite things to do, because he’s a little shit, is to see how many innuendos he can fit into a conversation while still maintaining decency, just to make you turn red and his brothers sigh in exasperation. 
Lowkey though, he doesn’t expect much from you other than your affection, and doesn’t have an overarching game plan. Sure, he celebrates anniversaries, but all the big milestones are simply tackled without him making a big deal out of them. One day you’ll just look up, realize you can’t tell where his stuff ends and yours begins, and have to come to terms with the fact that somehow the two of you are living together with no conversation about it happening.
Sunshine turtle approaches romance the same way he approaches life, with the firm belief that fun is the most important factor. Get ready for movie dates, late night parkour trips, canoodling on rooftops, etc. Just as often though, he will want to stay in. He’ll cook for you, cuddle while you while playing video games or watching a movie, include you in schemes and plans to drive his brothers crazy, anything to include you in his life or show off your bond to others. 
There isn’t a big difference to Mikey’s behavior after he knows you’re into him, though now when he gets in your space he doesn’t hold back from touching you. Turtle was a flirt beforehand, he’s a flirt afterwards. The only difference is, now when he says something you know eventually he will get around to trying it. He says something flirtatious that gets a reaction? He’s not gonna forget, and he’ll bring it up at a later date. 
He will stop flirting with everything that walks by eventually however. Guess calling you babes/babycakes/angelcakes in private had some spillover connotations (ie he can’t say it without thinking about you and it makes him gag trying to say it to anyone not you)
Donatello
Donnie’s blurted out his feelings for you in the middle of the Lair during Sunday Football. You’d arrived to find the turtles acting weird, leaving the room whenever you entered to grab snacks, suddenly making excuses and disappearing so every time you were left with an increasingly nervous Donnie who seemed to trail you around the Lair. By the time kick off happened, Raph, who seemed increasingly edgy, asked you to bring him another beer from the kitchen. You readily agreed, but when you turned from the fridge with the cold can Donnie blocked the way back to the others.
“Hey Don. You ok?” You asked, giving him a smile, craning your head back to meet his wide eyes.
“I like you.” He blurted out, practically looming over you.
You tilted your head, fighting the blush, convincing yourself not to read too much into it. “I like you to, Dee.” 
When you went to move around him though, thinking the moment was over, he caught your hand, grip slightly sweaty. “No, I mean…” He waited for you to meet his eyes again, and he visibly swallowed. “I- I like you.”
You eyes widened, a second before your smile followed. “Oh! Dee…” You set the beer to the side, covered his hand with your own. “I like you too.”
His answering smile lit up the whole room.
Donnie’s love language is gift giving and quality time. 
This turtle wants affection, but he doesn’t always know how to ask for it. You’ll have to pick up on his little cues to catch what he wants. Such as, if you notice him standing over you for periods of time before moving off and then returning, he might want to cuddle, and is just working up to asking for it. If you want things to go smoothly between the two of you, it’d be prudent to make a list of things you’re comfortable with and things you aren’t. It’ll stop him from worrying over things like hand holding and kisses, if he knows you’ll welcome his advances, and it’ll save you some headache trying to parse out what his nonverbal cues are if he is given free reign to just tell you what he would like. 
Dee’s idea of romance is to spend time with you, in whatever way you’ll let him. If you want to park your butt and watch him tinker in his lab or the garage, this turtle is all for it. If you mention there’s a play you want to see or a museum you’d like to go to, he’s already scheming on how to get the two of you in. The turtle disguise doesn’t work as well on him since he’s so tall, but he can sit in the very back and turn into a ninja statue just for you. 
He makes gadgets for you to stay in touch when you’re not with him, and readily goes into tangents about things you’ve said or done, or projects he’s working on for you. His brothers have learned to tune him out to various success. 
As far as changes after the two of you start a relationship, it’s easy to say that that it’s leverage over him and his habits. If he needs to eat, sleep, or just get away from his computer’s before the blue screen fries his brain, his brothers send in you. He gets in a snippy mood and clearly needs a night out or a break, you’re the only one that can convince him to go. Ooo, feel the power.
With you in his corner, Donnie blooms. Yes, he’s a genius and a sarcastic little shit beforehand, but now he has a cheerleader, a partner in crime, someone to fuel his crazy schemes and to be his rubber ducky on occasion. Anytime any old doubt trickles in, he only has to turn to you and be reminded that someone is always there for him, through thick and thin.
Raphael
You ended up confessing your feelings for Raph long before he’d gotten the courage to say anything. He probably would have continued to ignore his feelings, if you hadn’t cornered him in his weight room and spelled it out, angry that he’d been successfully giving you the cold shoulder for weeks.
“Hey, you wanna tell me what I did wrong, or are you gonna go sulk in the corner?” You asked, arms crossed and hip cocked, blocking the entrance to the weight room.
“M’not sulking.” Came the instant reply, though Raph didn’t turn to address you directly. “What’re you doin’ here?”
“Leo said I could find you here.” You narrowed your eyes as he rolled his.
“Course he did, stickin’ his nose into-”
“Your brother isn’t my concern, you are.”
“Yeah?” He grumbled, still not looking at you, moving to rack up the manhole covers on his bar. “Why’s that, princess?”
Normally, that nickname made you feel special. Now, it pissed you off. Made you stupidly, sarcastically honest. “It’s probably because I’m not into him, I’m into you, dum dum.”
The weights clanked loudly together, and he turned just his head, glared at you. “Oh, real funny. Don’t go jokin’ about that.”
“I’m hilarious.” You answered. “And I’m 100 percent serious, Raphael.”
He turned to face you fully, head cocked, eyes slowly going from defensive to wide the longer you stood your ground. “You serious?”
You nodded emphatically, and he snorted, ran his hand over his face. “Damn. That’s fucked, babygirl.”
“It is not!” You started angry, but the wide smile on his face broke you out of the emotion.
Raph’s love language is verbal affirmation and physical touch
Yea this turtle can’t decide which is worse, telling you how he feels or seeing his large hands next to your small ones. But he so desperately wants to find the words, so desperately wants to ask you to hold his hand. Expect for him to start coveting private moments with you. He’ll agonize over what to say, what to do. You’ll have to lead the way most of the time, at least at the beginning, until he gets over waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to change your mind about him and all the issues that come along with him. 
Date nights with him are simple. He doesn’t like people, doesn’t like to be out of his comfort zone. He’d rather stay in with you, or up on the roofs where no one can see the two of you. He is very aware of how he is different from a human though, and so he will go out of his way to make sure he can bring normal things to the relationship. His gut instinct is to turn down anything new immediately, but all you have to do is pull out the goo goo eyes and he will bend. He wants to be helpful as possible to you to make up for the things he can’t do, and it’s up to you to make sure he understands how appreciated he is.
He loves to hear you voice your feelings for him, but he won’t outright ask for confirmation. Expect quiet moments where the two of you simply exist in the same space, or maybe cuddling while talking. Raph doesn’t like to be reminded of how different the two of you are though, so you might spend some time reassuring him that you love him, without telling him you don’t care about how different he is, because he will not believe you, or worse will get upset.
The differences in Raph are a long way down the line. At first, he might be even a little more standoffish, doubt and worry overtaking his usual responses. You’ll have to be dedicated to get anywhere past the initial ‘there’s no way this is gonna work, we’re both crazy for thinking this would work, you’re crazy for liking me, and I’m crazy for listening’ phase that will grip him hard. If you can weasel past that, however, be prepared to have someone that will never give up on you, ever. You’ll have a significant other that will come to your aid at the drop of a pin, at the first sign of trouble. 
He’ll mellow out over time, become a little softer around the edges and a little less ‘the world is out to get me and mine’. He might even tolerate his brothers’ teasings over the two of you, as long as they do it where you can’t hear, trading huffs and denial for small smiles and easy laughter at their pointed questions.
Leonardo
You found Leo waiting at your window, the same way you’d found him countless times. This time however, when you let him in, you were concerned at his formal movements. He was always careful, but now he was watching you as though waiting for something.
“Hey, Blue?” You asked, moving automatically to start tea, the way you had every time he came to visit. “Are you ok?”
“I’m fine.” He answered, and you could tell it was a knee jerk reaction, but you let it slide.
“M’kay, well, I was just about to start dinner? How does that sweet chicken with the rice I made last month sound?” You asked, already knowing his answer, moving to grab the ingredients.
He surprised you by moving into your space, catching your hand. “Can we talk, for a moment, first?” 
You turned to give him your attention, careful to keep your movements slow as you took his hand. “Sure. Of course.”
Leo stood there for a moment, petting his thumb over the back of your hand, before he took a deep breath. “Stop me if I’m overstepping, but I need to speak my mind.” 
At your nod, he continued. “I like you, more than a friend, more than I should. I wanted- wondered, that is, if you could feel the same for me?”
If he had lifted his head at all, he would have seen your answer in the high wattage smile plastered across your face.
Leo’s love language is verbal affirmation and quality time spent together
This turtle has thought of everything. He’s intimately turned his feelings for you over and over in his mind, viewed them from every angle to inspect for marks or imperfections before he even accepts how he feels for you. Once he’s accepted them, get ready for slow burn romance. He has a sequence of steps the two of you must dance through in his head, and if you try and skip any steps he will want to backtrack to correct it. You want to hold hands for the first time and share a first kiss? He’s not going to turn down smooches, but he might not even notice you are posed for one, considering he’s too busy marveling at the feel of your much smaller hand in his.
Dates are simple things, he’s too paranoid to sneak into movies like Donnie or Mikey, instead he’ll go for walks with you, try and spot stars with you through the light pollution. If you want to do nothing but watch movies and lay against him, he’s in heaven, but he absolutely loves to hear you read from books out loud to him.
Expect lots of talks with Leo, but it’s less about sharing information and more he just wants to hear your voice, turn his brain off and simply exist for a moment where no one expects anything from him. Not to say he doesn’t listen, and not to say what you tell him isn’t important, but its calming to listen to simple workplace gossip after dealing with crime fighting and high stakes espionage. On the flip side, there will be times when he comes to you clearly lost in his head. In those instances, he just wants to be reminded that you care for him, that you’re by his side, that you willingly chose to be with him.
Most of the changes with Leo are the two of you are together happen privately, after all he is a very private person. The others don’t get to see him unravel, set aside everything bothering him. The first time you realized you cracked the code, is when Leo told you something that was bothering him, without getting defensive. Like he knew even if you disagreed with him there would be no judgement. After that, the two of you were inseparable. 
The only outwards change, that everyone picks up on, is his sense of humor. Before, it only came out in high stress situations, during fights, one-liners to goad others into making mistakes. But after meeting you, it morphs into quiet, humorous observations. The first time he dropped a joke in the middle of dinner just to make you snort into your soup, his brothers froze, wondering what the hell was happening. Raph legit asked Donnie if body snatching was a thing and if they needed to quarantine Leo. 
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Text
ok sorry but i just replayed Portal 2 and this has been consuming my mind
i feel like at this point everyone knows about the potato battery that kid Chell made, but what i noticed this time was what Wheatly said about it
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"Look at that, it's growing right up into the ceiling. The whole place is probably overrun with potatoes at this point. At least you won't starve, though."
at which point i think: oh! this is probably where Wheatley got the potato to trap GLaDOS. it grew from right here. i already figured that this area was where he got the idea to trap her, but this was still a really neat detail!
and then i got to the first core transfer and Wheatley's betrayal, and i realized: what would have happened if Chell's potato battery didn't grow like that? well, Wheatley likely wouldn't have a potato, right? he wouldn't be able to trap GLaDOS in a potato battery.
so then what would he have done with her?
would Wheatley have just killed GLaDOS? did Chell's potato battery save her life?
but no, i told myself. i was probably overthinking this. just because wheatley doesn't have a potato doesn't mean he wouldn't find some equally insulting perdition for her. maybe he would just use a normal, actual battery.
and then i got to the scene where Chell saves GLaDOS from the bird.
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GLaDOS says: "No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I literally do not have the energy to lie to you."
a quick google search tells me that even a double a battery generates 1.5 volts, and given the nature of the machinery present in aperture, i'm guessing that most of the batteries they have lying around output even more
i don't think Chell would have trusted GLaDOS if she didn't reveal this. GLaDOS lies as easily as she speaks, so the knowledge that she is physically no longer capable of doing so heavily inclines the player, and the character, to believe what she has to say.
it's because her energy is so low that Chell agrees to GLaDOS's plan, and eventually completes the second core transfer and sends Wheatley into space.
it's because she is trapped in a potato that GLaDOS makes is back to the lab and her chassis.
it's because Chell made a potato battery - one that grew to "overrun" the facility - that GLaDOS survives the events of Portal 2. even if Wheatley would have otherwise spared her following the first core transfer, she wouldn't have made it back if Chell didn't trust her, which necessitates her being trapped in a potato.
Potatoes are a source of energy - of life! sustenance for Chell, the bird, and any other living thing condemned to reside in aperture, but also a kind of life raft for GLaDOS as well. in its restrictions, it forces her to be a better person. to be honest. and that saves her!
is this anything?!
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peetapeetapumpkineata · 3 months
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LUCKY
Peeta Mellark X AFAB!reader
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Summary: you're worried about him during the quarter quell
Tags: fluff, slight angst, insecure little Peeta baby😔, kissing, one or two innuendos, three uses of y/n, established relationship (your in Katniss's place, obvi)
wc: 3.134k
Notes: there is definitely not enough Peeta fics!! I'm also working on a hijacked Peeta fic based off of one of my favorite songs! (idk when I'll finish it). Enjoy! also reposting this since it flopped
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It had been three hours since Peeta hit the force field and Finnick had to resuscitate him.
You have been keeping a frantic eye on him, just in case there was another deadly object he wants to bump into (silly lil Peeta. You can’t take him anywhere fr fr). 
“y/n- I swear I'm fine. You don't have to keep watching me.” Peeta mumbles and glances at you.
“I know, I'm just scared.. Maybe you shouldn’t be so clumsy.” you tease, trying to calm some of your nerves.
“Ok, ok. I get it. I thought everyone knew I was the weak one in the alliance.” he chuckles and shakes his head.
 “What do you mean? You’re not weak, Peeta. You won the games.” you look at him and raise your eyebrow.
“Are you sure? I won the games because of you. I was just.. Lucky.” he looks back at you and shrugs.
“Lucky? Peeta, I’m the lucky one. We probably wouldn’t have made it together if you didn’t find those berries.” you sigh and scoot closer to him. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and squeezes you gently. “y/n.. Just because I found some berries, doesn’t mean I’m not weak. I’m just a baker.. You deserve someone who can take care of you.”
You gently grab his chin and turn his head to face you. “But you can. You’re the only person I feel safe with. And I like that you’re a baker. It makes you more adorable.” you giggle softly and stare into his eyes. 
“You’re just saying that.” he blushes faintly and rolls his eyes playfully.
“No, I'm not.” you brush away a piece of his hair and shake your head.
He smiles at you and wraps his other arm around you.
You rest your head in his lap and lean against him, smiling back up at him as he strokes your hair. 
“So it's true. I guess the ‘star-crossed lovers’ are actually real.” Finnick snorts, nudging Johanna next to him.
“Isn't it obvious? I thought it was hilariously clear when she started whaling on him and shouting at all of us after his heart stopped.” Johanna laughs, nudging him back.
“I thought she was gonna start punching me after i gave him mouth to mouth.” He laughs with her, glancing at the two of you.
“‘Peeta! Peeta! Omg Peeeetaa!!’” Johanna mimics you, laughing even harder with Finnick.
You glare at them and sit up from his lap. “Do you two ever shut up?”
“Oh please, we all know how you got that ‘baby’ inside you.” He grins and wiggles his eyebrows at you.
You roll your eyes and scoff. “You two make me sick.”
“Whatever, lover girl.” they laugh again and walk back over to the rest of the group
You sigh and lean back against him “I can’t stand them sometimes.” 
“Me either.. I just wish they would give us some time to ourselves.” he mumbles and kisses you on the forehead. 
“‘Wanna go for a walk? For a break?” you smile and raise your eyebrow
“Yeah, why not?” he smile back at you and stands up
“Hey ‘love birds’! Come back with another bun in the oven so we can get some sponsors, eh?” Finnick shouts and laughs harder. 
“Don't make me shoot you!” you shout back and grab his hand as you head deeper into the jungle.
You lean against a tree next to him and rest your head on his shoulder. “I miss home so much. I would do anything to have your cinnamon buns one last time before my stupid inevitable death.”
“Cmon y/n, you’re not gonna die. I’ll make sure of it.” he strokes the side of your head with his thumb. “Once we get home together, I’m gonna make you your own batch.” he chuckles and pecks the top of your head softly.
“Peeta, you know it's practically impossible to get out of this together, right?” you glance up at his face and smile sadly.
“I know, but I'm willing to risk those odds. I’m sure I'm lucky enough” he smiles back at you and moves his hand from your hair to your cheek.
You grin and pull him into a soft kiss. Not a forced one, for the cameras or for the capitol. A real kiss. 
“you don't have to kiss me if you don't want to.” he says after you pull away.
“I know.” you nod and kiss him again.
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royalarchivist · 7 months
Text
Quackity: Someone who I really wish would play a little more is– I'm going to say it: it's Luzu. Because Luzu – I was in a past server with Luzu called Karmaland, which Vegetta owns – and we did some crazy ass stories. [...] I would definitely love to do more stuff with Luzu, you know? [...] His thing is the time zones, though. Which makes sense, 'cuz he's like 60.
Foolish: Is he more of an early bird?
Quackity: No, he's like 60. He's 60. He sleeps early, wakes up early. That kind of like, BS. He's like, "Oh, I have a kid to take care of." It's like, "So?"
Foolish: Tell the kid to grow up!
Quackity: That's like a hobby. [Laughs] That's like a hobby, bro, that's like fcking–
Foolish: Just kick the kid out.
Quackity: Hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If you told Ollie [Luzu's son] to fcking– to just grow up, he would.
[ Full transcript ↓ ]
Quackity: Someone who I really wish would play a little more is– I'm going to say it: it's Luzu. Because Luzu – I was in a past server with Luzu called Karmaland, which Vegetta owns – and we did some crazy ass stories because– Ok, so the thing with Karmaland and the problem with Karmaland was that every.
Foolish: The problem with Karmaland!
Quackity: –was that everyone were Spaniards. Everyone was Spaniards. Everyone from Spain, they all had Spain timezone.
Foolish: And that's a problem
Quackity: So I would always start streaming at, like, 5 pm, and all the people from Spain would be asleep. Everyone from Spain would be asleep. So, it was just me doing content, and occasionally, it'd be with Luzu, and I miss that a lot. You know, Luzu– the reason he doesn't play on QSMP as much is because of timezone, so that is literal fcking revenge. That is revenge because Luzu had a fun time being Spaniard and making sure that when I connected late times in Karmaland, there would be no one! Well, guess now– guess what now, Luzu? You wake up at fcking six in the morning– [in a sad crying voice] –and if you ever want to come back, I'll fcking log in for you. No, I'm kidding. But I think- I think– no, I would definitely love to do more stuff with Luzu, you know?
Foolish: Yeah.
Tina: I wanna meet him.
Quackity: His thing is the time zones, though. Which makes sense, 'cuz he's like 60.
Foolish: Is he more of an early bird?
Quackity: No, he's like 60. He's 60. He sleeps early, wakes up early. That kind of like, bullsht. He's like, "Oh, I have a kid to take care of." It's like, "So?"
Foolish: Tell the kid to grow up!
Quackity: That's like a hobby. [Laughs] That's like a hobby, bro, that's like fcking–
Foolish: Just kick the kid out.
Quackity: Hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If you told Ollie [Luzu's son] to fcking– to just grow up, he would.
Foolish: Yeah, absolutely.
Quackity: That's a horrible question. That really hurt my feelings. OK, Foolish: you have to ask a question now.
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velvetyvoyage · 2 months
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Hey there li'l fella!
sypnosis: how some of the bsd charecters react to you (their lover or s/o or spouse or whateva) gifting them a silly lil pet.
includes: fyodor, nikolai, dazai, kunikida
a/n: i honestly should have stopped after fyodor and nikolai but oh well.
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the following convo happens through text
->"Fedyaaaaaaaaa when r u coming home???"
"I'm pretty sure I'll be back late tonight. Why? Is there something wrong? or something you need me to get?"
"no no, i don need anything rn" "i just got you a lil something"
"oh? And what might that be?"
"no spoilers!"
"alright alright. I'll try come home as soon as i can"
"okieeeee" "get me ice cream on the way!"
"[insert ur fav ice cream/s]?"
"yep!"
the following happens in real time
-> you're kneeling down on the floor to admire the lil dark-grey furry friend with a white cotton hat in front of you when you hear someone opening the front door downstairs [don't ask me how ur able to hear a door opening downstairs, u just can. ok?]. assuming it's fyodor, you rush down the staircase.
"why are you awake at this hour?" he says, closing the freezer door.
"i was simply waiting for you" "come! i wanna show you something"
"alright, lead the way."
*Insert Time Skip*
"..." "soooooo, what do ya think?"
"Love, why'd you bring a rat into the house?" "says you" *insert a v big side eye from you to him*
"what's that supposed to mean?" "ohh nothing!"
"well... is this your pet now?" "our pet* " "guess what i named it?"
"what?" " i named him... Phyodor. p-h-y-o-d-o-r"
"Dear, doesn't that name ring a bell?" "oh what ever do you mean?" you say, very dramatically.
-> just stares at you like 🤨😐😑
-> "And what if i don't want to keep it?" "well, then I'll simply "donate" phyodor to a near by orphanage or something"
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the both of you were on a stroll outside and decided to sit down on a bench in a near by park
-> "y/nnnnnnnnnnn watcha got there?"
"a dove" "it's so... pretty" you say. as you were feeding a flock of doves, one of them perched up on your lap.
"i wanna take it home"
"QUIZZZ TIMEEEE" he shrieks twirling around. "QUESTION 1: why do you, y/n l/n wanna take it home!?"
"because it's pretty and i wanna admire it every day? but... i can't take it home"
"interesting answer!" "QUESTION TWOOO: why can't you take it home? what is stopping you?"
"you." "HUHHHHH!?!?" "even if i want a pet bird, i know damn well that you will set it free and also i don't want to confine it between bars." you say with a perseptive look on your face. "besides i don't really need a pet"
"ohh? why so" "cuz i have you to take care of?" *dramatic gasp* *flabbergasted*
"I! am not a pet!" "but i still have to take care of you" "hmp!" he says as he puffs his cheeks, shuts his eyes and turns his head the other side. (ur looking north (at the birdies), he's facing east)
"why would i admire a mere bird when i could admire you instead" you murmured, a pleasant smile playing on your face.
"what was that?" "oh nothing"
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-> why? just why would you give him a pet to take care of? he's one himself and you know it.
-> the poor thing... :(((
-> whatever the animal is, it'd probably take care of him instead.
*cough* @🍣 *cough*
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-> does he really need a pet? like cmon?
-> also if you're in a relationship with him, no matter how responsible or independent you are, he'd have to take care of you too.
-> goldfish. he'd have a goldfish
-> it's the most fitting tbh
-> it'd just be minding it's own business in its lil fish tank unlike a certain mackerel.
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the pics at the start were only for aesthetic (which failed but oh well) and is not at all relevant to the post.
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cyber-clown · 1 year
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zubat is one of my favourite pokémon and, because it is one of my favourite pokémon, i've used it in every single generation i've played where it's available. this has led me to notice that you can kind of use zubat to track game freak's evolving design ethos with the pokémon series allll the way from gen 1 through to gen 9.
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so if you don't know, zubat is a funny poison/flying bat pokémon. you can usually get it pretty early on in caves, usually sometime around the first gym. in gen 1 this is mt moon, gen 3 gives you zubats in granite cave right around the (mostly optional btw???) 2nd gym, gen 4 gives you them the moment you get to jubilife city, etc. it evolves into golbat at level 22, which doubles zubat's stats and lets it learn screech. golbat is a funny guy and i like him. don't know why they made him grow eyes though.
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point is, they're common and you get them early, so it's a pokémon that is very easy to slot into your team as a decent flying type with better utility and defenses (being a poison type) than your average earlygame bird shitter. they're also vaguely menacing if you're insane i guess so they're evil team fodder. ok. we know what zubat is now.
GEN 1: in gen 1, zubat's design is insane. early pokémon games are shocking well put together - for the bad rep they sometimes get for having a handful of prominent glitches, it's actually a testiment to the games that they just keep trucking through these insane edge cases rather than crashing. unfortunately, the design itself is... primitive. they had a smash hit but definitely hadn't fully found their footing. let's look at zubat's moveset.
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oh god! so, you would think this is a case of some kind of "first stage evolution syndrome" where zubat has a terrible, limited movepool that gets fixed when it evolves. gen 1 REALLY likes this gimmick: just off the top of my head this is the exact deal of abra and magikarp. unfortunately, no. the only damaging moves zubat learns before it evolves are leech life, a 20 base power (THIS IS LOW) move of a relatively weak offensive type, and bite. bite is fine. bite will hit most types except rock and ghost, and its power is fine. other than that, it just learns supersonic and a slightly less terrible version of supersonic.
then the insane thing: it learns wing attack at level 28. golbat learns it at level 32. it evolves at level 22. this creates an interesting dichotomy where on one hand you REALLY want to evolve zubat to golbat, given that it literally doubles its base stat total when evolving, but on the other that means you'll be waiting a full 10 levels from evolving to learn its only STAB move (in pokémon, pokémon get a 1.5x multipler to a move's damage if its the same type as that pokémon). said move only having 35 power. gen 1 is strange. i think this really shows the design philosophy of gen 1: everything is new, most things are weak, the balance is all over the place, you have to purposefully stop your funny bat from evolving for 6 levels just for it to learn a terrible flying type move that it can use for coverage. every other move it learns is either normal type or has <= 40 power. why.
GEN 2: gen 2 is the generation of "ok that was pretty good but had some pretty major flaws. let's try to fix them." gen 2 is kind of defined by how closely tied it is to gen 1. zubat is a great example of this. first of all the obvious thing: zubat gets a new evolution! if your golbat has high friendship and levels up, it will evolve into crobat. crobat gives the line about a hundred more stats (mostly to speed, with everything else getting a little peppering) and is maybe the funniest of all guys, his design being both cute, silly, and cool is maybe why i like the zubat line so much
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so what changes for zubat and its family in gen 2? three things of note! 1. more TMs to learn, giving it more tools to play with, including the new steel type move steel wing. 2. bite has been changed to a dark type move, giving the noble zubat more type coverage including the ability to hit ghost types and psychic types (who are normally strong against poison types) for double damage. 3. wing attack's power has been increased to 60 (almost doubled!) and it's level to be learnt lowered to... 27. 1 level!
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(from this point forward i'm not going to screenshot the TM learnset. i'll try to keep describing them, though)
also, the level requirement for bite has been moved to level 12, and it learns mean look at... level 36. ok so, yeah, not fixing the pokémon, but definitely some improvements here. you could actually reasonably recommend zubat to a friend or family member now if they particularly like its silly funny design
GEN 3: it's a new generation... literally. pokémon is now in FULL COLOUR and SYNTHESIZED SOUND on the GAMEBOY ADVANCE. pokémon is now fully establishing itself not just as a couple games and spinoffs, but a full on series that will ostensibly stick around between generations of games, generations of consoles, even generations of people.
so, yeah. this ain't your daddy's pokémon, he played pokémon red as a 7 year old but he's a full blown 13 year old now... much too cool to play these baby games. ...oh shit wait, every pokémon has an ability now? damn, nevermind, this rules! that's what i assume game companies think people will think when they do Big Spin Ups for a New Generation. i don't know if it DID convince a generation of millenium tweens that funny animal game is still cool, but the changes are appreciated anyway. steven stone is hot! i don't have anywhere else to say that. anyway, how did zubat change?
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our friend zubat gets lots of changes to keep up with the crowd now. bite has been moved back up to level 16, but zubat now gets astonish - a decent ghost type move that can flinch opponents, air cutter (this used to be TM only) - a slightly weaker and less accurate flying type move than wing attack, but one with an increased critical hit ratio AND it can hit multiple opponents in new-fangled double battles, and poison fang - finally allowing zubat to unlock its poison type STAB... if you either don't let your zubat evolve for 19 levels or, more realistically, teach it to your crobat at level 49... ouch! but, the biggest of them all: your zubat can now learn wing attack before it evolves! ...1 level before it evolves, but before it evolves!
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in addition, zubat's family got a new ability - inner focus: this lets them not get flinched. not that out there, but it's a welcome change! the line also gets a few more TMs unlocked, including coverage options like shadow ball, and the extremely powerful sludge bomb. you can really, finally, genuinely use zubat now! it's actually okay! it being a friendship-evolved pokémon is also ideal for one you pick up early game - you can usually evolve your zubat around the early level 30s, giving it a big stat boost earlier than a lot of other pokémon.
GEN 4: gen 4 is strange. it's a huge shift in the series, but it's also actually pretty similar to gen 3. it stays pretty true to the series roots, but also moves the ball in a way that would keep going and eventually mark what is effectively an entire change in identity for pokémon. steven stone is in heartgold and soul silver (yay!). gen 4 also cements gen 3 as the only generation of pokémon ever (so far) to be the only one on its console.
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we're making good progress here! wing attack can be learned even earlier, at level 17, meaning you should get it just in time for the grass type gym leader, bite has been reverted to being learned at level 13, and air cutter / poison fang have had the time you need to hold a zubat before they can be learned significantly turned down. if you do happen to hold your zubat until level 41, poison fang's spot has been usurped by air slash, a strong special move (gen 4 split all moves into physical and special, where before they were split between the attack / special attack stats by type) that has a 30% chance of flinching an opponent. zubat's physical stats may be better than its special stats, but only by a little bit, so this is a welcome option! zubat also gets a couple more good TMs, like U-Turn, a really strong move that lets zubat deal some damage and then swap with a teammate to hopefully avoid taking retaliation! anyway that's it really, just little steps!
GEN 5: here it is, the big one… the one that changed it all… just joking! infact, zubat didn't get a single move change in Pokémon Black and White, as it wasn't available to catch at all in that game! instead, it was replaced by the spiritual successors woobat and swoobat, cute fluffy psychic / flying types with little heart shaped noses - they even keep the theme of a closed pair of eyes opening up when evolved! i like swoobat's terrible, fleshy heart tail, too!
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anyway, zubat was revived in Pokémon Black 2 and White 2, whereupon it did actually receive a moveset update. it's not a very big one, but it's appreciated!
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so, the pre-evolution options of astonish, bite, and wing attack have been moved a little further back, while players who wait a little bit are now able to learn the moves swift (a normal type move that never misses), and acrobatics (a move that has its damage doubled if your pokémon doesn't hold an item). cool stuff! air cutter, poison fang, and air slash have all been moved back a little bit. maybe this could be to disincentivise holding a pokémon that can evolve to learn moves, since this puts it much more in line with crobat:
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who knows? anyway! the other noticeable changes are the additions of a couple more TMs like venoshock (all TMs being infinite use now, so you don't have to worry about wasting a TM anymore!), a poison type move that doubles in damage if the target is poisoned (finally, more love for zubat's poison type!) and the hidden ability of infiltrator.
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what an unhelpful piece of flavour text! infiltrator is an ability that lets zubat ignore the effects of "barrier" type moves, which are moves that provide resistance or immunity to certain effects (such as physical damage, status effects, and debuffs). later on, this will be buffed to let zubats with infiltrator hit through substitutes, and even later will be buffed again to reduce wild encounters!
GEN 6: here's the real big one. gen 5 marked a distinct change in direction for pokémon as a series: a grander story, bold new characters, and a focus more on a journey that felt more like a hero's quest to prove themselves, rather than some random kid's uphill battle to get stronger. gen 6 took the new generation and made some bold decisions: now we have 3D models, and crazy plotlines, and fully arranged streamed music, and... much easier gameplay! well, easy is not the right word. pokemon games have always been kid friendly - but later games definitely try their best to streamline the experience. it feels a lot more like a power fantasy of a rise to glory, where previous games distinctly... did not. is this good or bad? well, it's all just taste! we all have our taste.
zubat received its major changes, again, in the second set of games of this generation: omega ruby and alpha sapphire. a step back to hoenn, including our good friend zubat!
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woah! can you believe this is even the same friend zubat we met all the way back in 1996? i'm so proud of him... well, what major changes are there? here's an easy two: venoshock is now a move zubat learns naturally, and almost every move has been substantially reduced in level up requirement! bite at level 11? wing attack at level 13? it feels like just yesterday we had to fight tooth and nail to keep bite at level 13! poison fang down by 12 levels to level 25, and so on. the big one here is that air cutter is now a move you can learn before even evolving zubat, giving you another flying type option! what could be awaiting us next, in the sunny alola region?
GEN 7: i like gen 7 :) i also don't know what preamble to give here. well, other than: gen 6 began the trend of adding a new "gimmick" every generation. these stick around for one generation, can only be used once per game, and provide some Big Flashy Effect. mega evolution was gen 6's, but that was restricted to a few specific pokémon (mainly fan favourites, no love for great pokémon like crobat... grr...) but gen 7 changed this: now any pokémon can use a Z-Power!!! once per game, a single move can be transformed into a powerful Z-Move, that does huge damage. this means our friend zubat can join the show. will it use a poison Z-Move, or a flying Z-Move, or maybe a random coverage move, like ghost or steel?
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um... what's going on here? zubat's lost leech life! well, look again. the iconic Zubat Move is still in its learnset, but it's now been QUADRUPLED in to 80 power, so it's been moved up and replaced with absorb as zubat's starting move. absorb is still stuck at 20 power. poor absorb. that's probably what it gets for being cousins with mega drain AND giga drain. crobat gets to learn cross poison on evolve now, a powerful poison type move that has an increased critical hit rate AND a chance to poison. other than these, zubat's learnset has not changed in any noticeable way. i guess that's a sign game freak has settled on a moveset to stay for our friend zubat!
GEN 8:
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what on earth happened here? where is zubat's iconic wing attack? leech life at level 55? well, generation 8, you see, represents a big shakeup for the pokémon series. the series has OFFICIALLY jumped from handhelds to the home console, and so naturally that leads to a very different design philosophy - including the removal of lots of moves from the game entirely, and the barring of some pokémon from entry to the region! zubat gets to stay, though, and its reward is an entirely retooled moveset. what can we make of this?
well, first of all, supersonic has been recognised as an Iconic Zubat Move after 20 years of proud service, being officially made a move zubat gets right out of the egg. it still sucks, but that's cool! wing attack and bite have been replaced with poison fang, retooling zubat to put the early focus on its poison typing: to this day zubat and its family are actually the only poison / flying type pokémon! air cutter has been pushed back above the "evolve threshold", where it joins a bunch of other iconic Zubat Moves. bite and leech life now languish, as moves that probably nobody will ever actually hold their zubat to learn, given it's only a couple extra levels for golbat / crobat to learn them. speaking of crobat, it's worth mentioning...
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crobat has a whole lot of tools to work with now! it's very clear they really wanted to play with crobat's unique role as a poison / flying type here by focusing a lot more on its Poisonous Traits - toxic, cross poison, and venoshock are all very fun tools you can play with that crobat gets access to with ease. what a treat! the number of TMs crobat can learn is also huge, with plenty of coverage across a bunch of types. now for gen 9!
GEN 9:
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oh zubat! you should have known that DUI would give you consequences. well, yes. this is zubat's journey so far. but i think that i've proven my point - you can distinctly see a shift from the early game pokémon design philosophy to newer games.
personally, i would describe this as going from the games being an "uphill battle to prove yourself" to a "journey across the land with your favourites". it's clear that, over time, there have been attempts to try and make a lot of pokémon more viable, so that if zubat is your favourite too you can pick it up and have it be useful almost right away, rather than its earlier role as a pokémon that takes a long time to get going but eventually gets tools that make it a lot more usable. i think this shows pokémon's shift to being more about the pokémon themselves rather than the journey, which is a safe decision that's probably made because every pokémon is somebody's favourite.
this has no real point by the way - i personally don't actually mind the newer direction of pokémon games (aside from the EXP share always being on...) and have enjoyed plenty of relatively modern pokémon games a lot - i really rememeber loving pokémon moon when it came out! but i do also enjoy the different "vibe" and experience of older pokémon games, and i think sometimes the best way to actually describe the differences is to just lay out them out, plain to see.
anyway, i hope you enjoyed and, next time you're in a dark cave, consider holding off on the repels. you might just meet your new best friend forever!
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