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imagine-docx · 4 years

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interested.

Summary: Being best friends with Bucky, he always thinks you’re trying to get with Steve, when in reality, that is far from the truth. [college!chubby!]

Warnings: Swearing.

A/N: helloooo, i know i have been practically dead. but post secondary really ain’t it chief. here’s a small chub buck fic before i go back into the void that is my 3 hour online zoom lectures. - amanda 💛

»»————-　★　————-««

First year religion, with Professor Hill was quite possibly the most boring class to exist, but hey, that’s how you met Bucky Barnes. First year religion was a mandatory course that you had to take for psychology, and Bucky had to take for history. During the first lecture Prof Hill made you turn to the person next to you and discuss ideas, which happened to be Bucky.

The two of you felt so comfortable with each other, that you were always sitting next to each other during lectures, and eventually becoming the bestest of friends. To the point where you two spent breaks together, Friday nights together, hell he even came to a few of your classes, even though he shouldn’t be there as he wasn’t enrolled in them.

Even Bucky was surprised at this close friendship. He always had the small thought in the back of his mind saying, “She’s just using you for an easy ninety. Once the semester is over, she’s gone.” But to his surprise, here you were in your fourth year, still as strong as ever.

He could pinpoint the moment he realized he was in love with his best friend.

Second year, it was a random party that Thor was holding around early November. You were wearing a basic grey long sleeved shirt, some dark blue ripped jeans, and a pair of heels. You were dancing with Nat and Wanda, and he felt the switch in him flip, and he saw you in an affectionate way.

Needless to say, he left the party and went through a crisis at two am in the back of an Uber, at his new realization.

Since that day, he kept his feelings to himself. Not even telling his best friend Steve about the feelings he harboured towards you.

He always felt insecure whenever he was around you. You were always glowing, even when you had no makeup on and were in sweats on the days you had 9 am lectures. You were always this ball of sunshine that anyone would be glad to hang out with. But here he was, stomach protruding over the top of his jeans, sweaters used to hide how thick his arms actually were, and all around embarrassed about the way he looks. You could never possibly like someone like him back.

»»————-　★　————-««

It was the rare Friday night, where the two of you couldn’t meet because you had a gender studies essay to write, and he had an essay due for ancient civilizations. But, of course, the two of you were on FaceTime.

“You going to Thor’s party tomorrow?” He asked, typing in his name and student number.

“Depends, I still have three readings and a discussion post over my head for Drax.” You responded, finishing up the last sentence.

“You should come, you’ve been pulling essays out of your ass since the semester started. You need to have some fun,” Bucky said, studying your face as you yawned.

“Perks of being a social science major,” you responded, making slight adjustments to your essay.

“Please?” He begged, “I need my best friend there.”

“We will see.”

»»————-　★　————-««

God, three years later, and he still didn’t understand how you pulled off every look possible. Last night you were in one of his hoodies, hair greased, and no makeup on. Today you were pulling off a slightly oversized band tee, some ripped jeans, hairstyled and effortless makeup.

“Didn’t expect you to be around here, thought Drax owned you tonight” Bucky jokes.

“Thought about it. But a certain Brooklyn boy talked me into coming. There’s always pulling an all nighter tomorrow night,” you said, taking a drink from your cup.

“Glad to know I am useful.”

The two of you spent a good chunk of time talking by the bar. The two of you didn’t stop until Sam pulled him away for some beer pong.

You debated going over to your friend group, but from where you were, it looked like they were wasted out of their minds. And talking to them will probably result in them drunkenly saying that you should fess up and admit your crush to Bucky. And knowing your exact luck, he would be around, and that would be a hard hole to dig yourself out of.

You decided that you were gonna get some peace in the kitchen. You were sitting on one of the counters, hearing drunken screams, while scrolling through Instagram.

“You know, it would be easy to tell him how you feel,” you look up to match the voice to the person, only to see Steve.

“And I am assuming Nat did some drunk mumbling to you,” you mumbled, looking down into your cup.

“Or anyone with eyes could see the way the two of you look at each other,” Steve said, leaning against the fridge next to the counter you sat on.

You let out a sigh, “He doesn’t see me in that way. I’m just his best friend.”

“He looks at you like you hung every single star in this galaxy. I should know, I was told I look like that when I look at Nat.”

You laughed and punched him in the bicep, “At least the loverboy admits it.”

Bucky was looking for you, passing by the kitchen he saw that you and Steve were smiling, laughing and talking. He never realized how much of a couple the two of you looked like. Absolutely perfect for each other.

He felt nauseous and decided to head home. Of course you wouldn’t like him, you liked guys who were fit, like Steve. An absolute sweetheart, like Steve. Someone who could care for you, like Steve. Steve.

»»————-　★　————-««

The next morning, he saw that you were calling and kept the talking to a minimum, saying he didn’t feel good and hung up.

He needed to get his feelings in check before he exploded.

From then on, he always scheduled stuff with Steve too. You deserved it.

You deserved happiness, even if it was with Steve and not him.

He would make coffee dates on campus, and never show up. Or invite you for movie night at the apartment, and at the absolute last second ‘have his shift extended’ at work.

»»————-　★　————-««

At some point, he just started blatantly ignoring you. From phone calls, to texts, to even practically running away from you.

The last straw for you was the day your sociology professor let you go early for the day. And you were already feeling under the weather, so you just decided to head back to your dorm, and spend the rest of your day taking it easy.

While you were walking down the tunnel from your class, you saw an all familiar head of hair walking in the opposite direction. You shouted his name several times, and practically ran after him. And you knew he saw and heard you, but continued to walk away from you.

You finally stopped, realization hitting you. He doesn’t like you anymore, and you don’t know what you did. You took a deep breath, turned around and walked back to your dorm.

You sat on your bed, confused as to what the fuck you did to him for him to do this. At that point, you gave him the space he wanted. You stopped texting him, calling him, even going over to his apartment.

»»————-　★　————-««

What caused Bucky to do all of this? Two days prior, he finished his contemporary civilizations class and was on his way to the student centre to get something to eat before his colonial encounters class.

When he walked into the centre, he was greeted with you and Steve sitting at a table, laughing about something, while drinking bubble tea.

He felt something stab him in the chest. It’s supposed to be him. He’s supposed to be the one taking you out for bubble tea. He’s supposed to be the one making you laugh like that.

It was then he realized, he didn’t set up this meeting. He drew the conclusion, that he pushed the two of you closer together, and that neither of them wanted him to know.

He knew he was acting childish. But he didn’t care.

»»————-　★　————-««

Since the encounter after your sociology class, you haven’t messaged him, called him, or even made the effort to see him. It was starting to bother him. He felt empty.

He missed the random texts he would get from you about something stupid in your readings. Or the ‘I accidentally watched too much Netflix, and my discussion post is due in an hour and I have NOTHING’ texts. Or you randomly calling in the middle of the night asking him if he wanted to meet up for milkshakes.

All he would see was Instagram stories or posts of you. Whether it was you at a party getting wasted with your friends, or if it was you being cozy and studying, or you and your friends doing late night stupidity. He missed having you around.

Every single thought he has, would be of you. What were you doing? Who were you hanging out with? Did you get enough sleep? Did you eat anything for the day?

He eventually decided to start essays early just so his thoughts weren’t fogged by you.

»»————-　★　————-««

Bucky was wrapping up his notes on his latest reading. As he closed his textbook, he felt something collide with the back of his head. He turned around to see Steve sitting on his bed. “What?”

“Why are you ignoring her?” Steve asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bucky turned back around.

“You damn well know what I am talking about. So, answer the question, why are you ignoring her?” Steve asked.

“Why do you care? That’s your girlfriend.” Bucky seethed.

A laugh erupted from Steve, “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Then why do the two of you act like it.” He muttered.

“Because she’s giving me pointers on asking out Nat,” he responded, “I bet you feel so stupid.”

Bucky turned back around in shock, “Wait, you’re not dating her?”

“Never was. It’s cute seeing how jealous you are,” Steve said, getting up, “Go get your girl.”

»»————-　★　————-««

Bucky has never sprinted out of his apartment so fast. He was about to walk up the stairs leading to your dorm, when he was about to open the door, the door opened revealing Carol. “Oh hey Buck. What are you doing here? You know she moved out like last month right?” she asked.

He never realized that you left the dorms, hell he didn’t even know where you were now. “Oh yeah, force of habit.” He nervously laughed.

“Anyways, I’m late for my date. Tell her I said hi!” She said walking off.

»»————-　★　————-««

Bucky returned to the apartment and was pacing around. He didn’t know where you could have gone. Nat and Wanda had no space, so you wouldn’t be there. Your parents were way too far out, and you wouldn’t want to commute all the way back. His mind was running through possibilities.

Steve and Sam were just looking on at the spiral that was occurring in front of them. “Does he…?” Sam asked.

“Nope.” Steve responded.

“Ah.” Sam responded.

“Where could she have gone though? I don’t get it.” Bucky said to himself.

“Can I tell him?” Steve asked.

“Nah.” Sam said.

“Wait, you guys know where she is? Why don’t you tell me?” Bucky said with despair laced in his voice.

Sam sighed, “Nat and Wanda.”

And with that Bucky practically sprinted out the door.

»»————-　★　————-««

Wanda and Nat were out for the night, leaving you in the living room finishing up your essay for sociology. Wrapping it up, you slapped the submit button, and headed for the shower.

Upon getting out and changing into some sweatpants and hoodie, you were contemplating what you wanted to eat. Until you heard a knock on the door, confused, you opened it to Bucky, you were about to close it but he managed to let out a, “Can I talk to you?”

You were about to say, “No.”

But once you heard his voice cracked, when he said, “Please,” your heart broke, and accepted talking to him.

»»————-　★　————-««

The two of you sat on top of the building overlooking the city. Bucky was looking at the view of the city, whereas, you were sitting on the bench.

He took note that you were shivering, and he shrugged off his jacket, wrapping you up in it. You were trying to shrug it off, when he said, “You’re gonna get sick.” You accepted that he was probably gonna tie you up in it so you don’t take it off, so you kept it on.

“So why did you ignore me?” You said, looking down at your feet.

“I thought you were dating Steve, and I got jealous. I know I pushed the two of you together, but I still couldn’t bear the thought of him being the one dating you.” He muttered, taking a seat next to you.

“Wait, you were jealous? Why?” You asked, confusion laced your voice.

“I really like you, god I’ve liked you for so long and you deserve someone better than me. Someone who’s fitter, someone who’s better looking, someone you would want to be seen with.” He said, looking down at his feet, hair falling into his face.

You pushed the hair out of his face, “No. I deserve someone who is willing to pick me up for burgers and milkshakes at 3 am. I deserve someone who is willing to drop anything they're doing to come and spend time with me. I deserve someone who would respond to my psych readings, even though they aren’t in my program. I deserve you.”

“You like me?” Bucky stammered.

“Wasn’t it obvious?” You asked. “I thought me calling you at three am because I missed you was obvious.

He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer, kissed your hair before muttering an, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m only accepting your apology under one condition,” you said.

He looked at you with the biggest eyes ever. Ready to do anything you even asked for. “Get bubble tea with me?” You asked.

“How about tomorrow we take a trip out of the city, to a zoo or aquarium, and bubble tea?” He said with pleading eyes.

“Only if it’s a date,” you said smiling at him.

“Anything for you.” he said, finally leaning into kiss you.

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adozentothedawn · 3 years

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Weird asks: 4, 11, 15, 47, 58, 73, 98?

Sure thing and thanks for asking! This did get a little long at times, but they are just really fun questions.^^

Asks are here.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

I’m not sure how elementary school works in other countries, so short explanation first. Here in Austria we generally only have one teacher for everything in elemetary school aside from exceptions like religion (at least in my school, which was a catholic private school).

I had three teachers over the four years I was in elementary school (and the religion teacher, but I don’t really remember anything about her). For the first one that i had the first two years I was annoyance because she was a mean bitch (excuse my language). I had really hard time with the other kids and was ahead of them in basically every area that wasn’t social. She helped me with neither, with the explanation that she can’t give me special treatment.

The second one saw my issues and did her best to keep the other kids in check, and I really liked her. I don’t really know her opinion of me though, aside from ‘child under my care’.

The last one was freshly out of uni and did not deserve having to deal with us as her first class. She really tried though and did her best to at least give me something to do when I was bored. She also told me that she always enjoyed reading my texts. I applied the principle of malicious compliance to those tasks before I even knew what that meant. xD Especially for the creative tasks there was always an obvious way to do it, something that whoever made the tasks clearly expected. I never did it that way, simply out of principle, and instead always found a way to fulfill the tasks without going that obvious way.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Generally always tea. I have the best tea cup where 3/4 liter tea fit in. Right now I also have lion flakes, because those are criminally delicious. It’s insane how good they are. I would love to get my hands on a recipe so I don’t have to pay Nestle, but sometimes I just need that shit. Usually it’s just toast with honey, self made apple jam, or the ovomaltine spread though.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

Krabat and Percy Jackson. Both we read pretty early, though Percy Jackson was more a ploy for us kids to get into reading (and oh boy he did not have to try with me. I just finished the Trials of Apollo, and I’m not sure I’ll say no to the next one Rick Riordan releases). Krabat is more actually german literature history. I liked it a lot, though I know most my classmates didn’t. Personally I really recommend it though, it’s exciting and creepy, and keeps you on your toes. Don’t watch the movie though, it’s crap.

47. favorite type of cheese?

The one you put into the ove to melt and then eat with bread. It’s basically a less fancy fondue, but it’s really good.^^

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Terrific question and a good excercise to do sometimes. Let’s see... I’m a fast learner in most things. I’m a good actress if you give me some time to get into the role. I have a good feeling for language. I have a good feeling for comedic timing.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

I’ll be honest, I’m kind of picky.^^° I don’t try out these kind of things often. I have been told though that I’m weird for making soup with frankfurter sausage, so that maybe?

98. favorite historical era?

Oh, don’t make me choose! There are so many fascinating things in history. I had really intense ancient egypt phase as a kid, I had a less intense roman and greek phase, I had a thing for the middle ages, there’s just so much. I gues the last thing I hyper focused on was europe in 18th century and beginning of the 19th. I wrote my final paper in high school (41 pages) about Maria Karolina, a queen of Naples and Sicilly, and Napoleon’s nemesis. She was pretty cool.^^ If anyone is interested in reading it I totally send it you.^^ It is german though. Maybe I’ll translate it someday, it would be nice practice...

#asks and tags #response #thanks for playing!^^#tumblr why do you wnat to take away our ability to move tags?

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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794🎂

Did the best moment of your life happen at summer camp? >> You ever get to that point where you just resign yourself to taking surveys you’ve already taken? Because I’m pretty sure I’ve taken 75% of the surveys I run into but it’s not like there’s a great influx of new surveys to take, so what’s a motherfucker to do but just make repeat performances... Anyway, some really great moments have happened to me at summer camp; I’m pretty nostalgic about the camps I’ve gone to at Easton Mountain. They were great experiences, even with the bullshit that sometimes happened.

Do you get tired of fakebook? lol >> I’m just tired of facebook in general -- how ubiquitous it is, how much data it collects and what it does with said data, everything about Mark Zuckerberg, etc. How random people behave on facebook is of much less concern to me than the above.

Are you a poser on facebook or are you real? >> I don’t really use facebook. I have one for the purposes of establishing lines of contact, and that’s it.

Are you a people pleaser? >> I wouldn’t say that.

Do you get irritated a lot? >> Not a lot, no. Irritation is a pretty obvious red flag for me -- if I feel irritated it’s probably because I’ve let some important need of mine go unfulfilled, like hunger or sleep or emotional processing. Or I’ve fallen into a depressive episode.

What's something you've realized about yourself lately? >> Eh, nothing really stands out as particularly revelatory.

Do you know a lot of idiots? >> I don’t know any idiots.

Do you want a puppy or a kitty? >> No.

Do you hate that some people are stuck-up? >> No, because that’s not really been my experience with people.

Would you rather be poor and humble or rich and snooty? >> See, the thing about this is... I’ve only been poor. And for one, I don’t think being poor means I’m automatically humble, I think it means that I have to look at life and at other people in a different way than I would if I wasn’t in this position. It means I have to acknowledge my socioeconomic dependence, which means treating people like objects or means to an end is significantly more disadvantageous to me than it would be to a rich person. It means I have to budget my indulgences, and can’t just be capricious and lavish with my spending, and I can’t just throw money at a problem to make it go away. I don’t know what it would be like to be rich -- I don’t know how having those advantages would change me as a person, and I don’t know what unseen disadvantages would arise. I know who I am now, and despite the hardships of being below the poverty line as an individual (and only a little less so as a member of a household), I more-or-less like how I am. I see no reason to complicate things.

Do you know any humble rich people? >> I don’t know any actually rich people at all. I know upper middle class folks because Sparrow is related to them, but while they do seem to lack class consciousness a lot of the time, they still mostly live in a reality I can halfway comprehend.

Do you hate the millennial stereotype? >> Not really. It doesn’t affect me. But I don’t encourage people to spout that nonsense, either.

Do you think everyone should have a right to live, and by that I mean live a comfortable life? >> The problem with this is that, as a human being who is invested in lessening suffering for all living creatures, I feel as though people should have this right. Unfortunately, as a human being who is equipped with the ability to think about things critically and logically, I think that it makes no practical sense. What I do think is that social systems can absolutely stand to be more supportive to all peoples, and we should absolutely work towards that. We should always seek ways to ease suffering. But we should also expect that even our striving has the possibility of creating suffering, and weigh that against the good we believe we’re doing. It’s just a constant process, I think. Trying to be more conscientious and more humane humans than the humans that came before us.

Does your religion or spirituality teach you to love your enemies? >> I don’t have any of those things.

Do you love your enemies? >> I don’t have any enemies, and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t love them if I did. Otherwise, why would they be enemies in the first place then?

Do you struggle to love your enemies? >> ---

Are you bothered by things that have been done to you in the past? >> Yeah, that’s kind of what being post-traumatic is.

Do you hate bullying? >> I mean, I don’t think it’s great.

Do you get bullied frequently? >> No.

Do you often wish you could go to sleep and not wake up until something good happens? >> I’ve wished that before.

How many people do you know who are suicidal? >> I don’t know how many people I know are suicidal. I’m not really... keeping track, you dig. Also, not everyone who is suicidal talks about being suicidal.

Do you read advice columns? >> I read Ask Polly sometimes, I think she has a lot of thoughtful and compassionate and passionate things to say.

Have you ever used a dating site? >> Yeah.

Do you want a fairy godmother? >> No.

Do you enjoy watching talent shows? >> Not especially. America’s Got Talent has had a few episodes that interested me, but I don’t watch it regularly.

Which cartoon character would you want to play you in a movie? >> ---

What is something you do not understand? >> Oh, you know. Calculus and stuff.

Do you know anyone who is spoiled? >> I don’t think so.

Do you think cars are ugly? >> All cars??? Of course not. There are some styles that I do find unattractive, but there are also styles I find very attractive. ...This makes me sound like I’m attracted to cars. I will neither confirm nor deny that assessment. :p

What is your favorite musical? >> Phantom of the Opera.

Have you made a lot of huge mistakes? >> Oh, yeah, definitely.

Are you ok? >> I suppose you could say that.

Do you ever feel God's presence? >> Nope.

Do you believe in angels? >> I had an Inworlder when I was younger that I interpreted as angelic. There was also an angel I knew a few years ago, which was a complicated situation I’m not sure I’m equipped to explain right now. I miss Tobias, he wrote me such wonderful things... :’(

What is your favorite magazine? >> I don’t have one.

What color hair did your favorite Barbie doll have? >> ---

Who were you rooting for in the very first season of American Idol? >> ---

Do you believe in miracles? >> I don’t find the concept useful.

Have you ever been to a tea shop? >> I’ve been to Teavana.

If there were a tea shop in your city, would you go to it? >> Sure. I love tea.

Do you still have your Christmas decorations up? >> Nope.

How many pairs of jeggings do you own? >> Zero.

Do you have any memories that are painful? >> Of course.

Do you learn from your mistakes and move on, or do you do the same things over and over again? >> Sometimes the former, sometimes the latter.

Do you make a habit of taking risks and stepping outside of your comfort zone? >> No, I don’t make a habit of it. Then again, my comfort zone is really small. Like, really. So many activities involve me being outside my comfort zone by default, which means I have less mental energy for purposefully choosing to do things that are outside of my comfort zone. I think this kind of thing is more suited for people whose comfort zone is a lot larger than mine -- who don’t regard basic things like “using the phone” or “being in a crowd” as being outside of their comfort zone.

Is your life boring? >> It can be. But frankly, I prefer this to the alternative.

What is your favorite thing to follow on tumblr? >> I don’t know how to answer that.

What are your favorite Pinterest boards? >> I don’t use Pinterest.

Is your Pinterest profile cluttered? >> ---

Do you wish you owned more board games? >> No, I don’t play board games. Sparrow likes them, but we also have no one to play with. We have three board games and at least one of them is still in the packaging.

Do you wish you had visitors more often? >> Not at all. I’m perfectly happy not having other people milling around my apartment.

Do you hate the economy? >> No.

Do you hate our culture? >> No. These are way too vague to be answerable by me in any real capacity.

Do you live in the USA? >> Yes.

What accent do you like best? >> There is no accent I like best. I like most accents just because I love the many different ways people speak.

Is there a guy you wish you hadn't let slip away? >> No.

What are some things you would like to do this summer? >> Just... go somewhere. I would like to be able to go somewhere. That’s really it, the bar is so low these days.

What are some things you love about spring? >> I think I love everything about spring. The warmth, the increased sunshine, the way the air smells when it rains, the explosion of greenery and colour, the feeling of finally being able to breathe, the fact that the air doesn’t immediately suck all the moisture out of my skin...

Are you feeling optimistic today? >> No. Optimistic about what? Isn’t that something you feel about something specific, not just... randomly?

When was the last time you did something that made you feel stupid? >> I don’t remember.

Do you hate social classes and inequality? >> I mean, it’s not great to deal with.

Is they're anything that you're questioning if you're allergic to? >> No.

Do you believe everyone should be treated with respect when you first meet them? >> Sure. I at least try to treat people with basic respect until it becomes clear that they’re 100% not interested in giving the same in return.

Do you hate that nobody cares? >> Nobody cares about what?

What websites shut down that you miss? >> Xanga, certainly.

What were your favorite websites when you were a teenager? >> Xanga, various band websites, Chimerical Publications (an old David Duchovny fansite).

What was the best class you took in high school? >> ---

Are you happy? >> Mildly.

Would you ever enroll in a college class just for fun? >> I would if it were possible to do so. That always sounded like a fun thing to do -- just take a class to get all the lectures and materials, without having to take the tests and stuff.

Do you feel free to be yourself? >> Well, sure. It’d be real fucked up if I felt like I had to be a different person all the time.

Do you stand up for yourself when needed? >> Yes. Sometimes a little more than necessary, but I’m just so used to having to fight for my existence. Or at least feeling that way.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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sawthefaeriequeen · 5 years

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Top Ten Books Read In 2018

1) The Last Summer of the Death Warriors by Francisco X. Stork

I picked this up at a book fair, read the summary, and figured I'd surprise myself with this author I'd never heard of before. It's about the friendship between DQ, a guy with terminal cancer dealing with his complicated feelings for his estranged-but-conciliatory family, and Pancho, a guy who's biding his time until he can get revenge on the person who's killed one of his family members. I like that both boys are raw and real and people—Pancho obviously has messed up emotions, but DQ can be plenty bitter and angry too: he's not an Inspirational Cancer Patient stereotype.

2) The Sherwood Ring by Elizabeth Marie Pope

Girl moves into her uncle's old ancestral house sometime during the 18th century and gets immersed into the past lives and loves of the ghosts that thrived there during the days of the Revolutionary War, their paths often crossing each other's. I swear I have never seen more delightful ghost characters in my entire life.

3) The Unbound by V.E. Schwab

So by the time I'd picked this up, I was having mixed feelings about V.E. Schwab – on one hand, she'd always written worlds that engage me almost instantly with their creativity. On the other hand, I'd just recently been horribly disappointed by the ending to what's been her most popular series so far: I thought her final Shades of Magic book did a most spectacular job on dropping the balls on everything good about it. Up to reading it, I'd thought the author's hype was deserved. But after, well…

So when I picked this up, it was with much trepidation. I'd loved the previous book, The Archived: the big old house setting, the grim closed-off girl/sweet sunny boy dynamic the lonesome warrior setup, all were like catnip to my id. I didn't want it ruined by a bad sequel. Fortunately, this book took everything I loved about the book and turned it up to eleven. It upped the stakes, it intensified the relationships, and it also added a mental illness angle that I personally found very meaningful.

The author is still kiiinda on notice so I'm not sure I want a third book. If there is one, dear God, please be good. *crosses fingers*

4) Turtles All The Way Down by John Green

I remember thinking, as I was reading this: this is really, really working for me but will it work for someone neurotypical? 2018 was hell and I was just so desperate for the people in my life to get it, and so I kept hopping on trains of thought like this.

Anyway, this book was spot on in what goes on in the wirings of my anxious brain. Green's usual turns of phrase took an incredibly frenetic turn at times, which, I know, is exactly what it's like to have a mental illness. This is not a book about "this is what to do" it's about how it IS or how it can GET.

I'm still really grateful for that quote about the spiral – how it tightens, but also how it eternally widens. When I first saw the cover, I thought it was kind of blah; now I look at that spiral and see something different. I see the hope of creating a new 'normal'.

5) The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

This was so readable it surprised me. I thought I'd go slow on it because: war story where it's a foregone conclusion that it ends tragically for the leads? Yeah, I'm not in a rush to reach the end of that. But I blazed right through this book. There's something really addictive about Madeline Miller's storytelling and how she brings her characters together and follows their blossomings and downfalls through the years. And then, the course of the Iliad and the inevitable sadness for Achilles, Patroclus, and Briseis was more like the slow turning of the tide rather than getting hit with a tidal wave. Anyway, not only was it readable but I'm finding myself eager to re-read it.

6 ) The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley

Part of my Read Everything Robin McKinley Writes mission that began last year. I'd liked the sheer escapism and the desert setting in The Blue Sword, but that whole white savior thing kinda put me off from enjoying Harry and the book more fully than I would've liked.

It was not so for this book, thankfully! Who knew that reading about the nitty-gritty of slaying big scaly beasts could be so satisfying? That's classic Robin McKinley, as I'm learning – you love what the protag loves. And then I really dug how the dead dragon's ghost haunting Aerin acts as a metaphor for mental illness.

(As I continue to wrestle with my diagnosis, I continually appreciate all the depression/anxiety metaphors I encounter in media. Maybe one day I'll make a post about it) AND ALSO: a love triangle that's actually well done and that serves our heroine's identity and character rather than taking away from it? Yes. Yes, thank you.

7) A Certain Slant of Light by Laura Whitcomb

Yeah so, this book killed me. It's about two twenty-something ghosts with unfinished business who find themselves in the bodies of two teenagers whose souls appear to have completely vacated theirs. They find themselves falling for each other and trying to find out what happened to their 'hosts' and what went on in their past lives. They also find themselves battling to survive the hostile home lives that their 'hosts' left behind. It's all very beautiful and kind of twisted and also a love letter to words and probably my most unexpected book of the year. And I have NO idea to rec it to people. "Read this, it's kind of fucked up but gorgeous but also can get triggery so step warily?" Uh.

8) Deerskin by Robin McKinley

See warnings above. Oh God. But really, I totally respect Robin McKinley for going full-out faithful to how utterly fucked up fairy tales can be while still creating a survival story. I'm not just talking about Lissar surviving spoilers incestual rape and miscarriage (indeed, I'm not qualified to talk about it) but how hers is a story of healing: by surviving the elements, by nursing living things back into life, by building herself up into a legend without even knowing it.

9) Muse of Nightmares by Laini Taylor

Just an incredibly satisfying ending to a duology that at the same time echoes that quote from Michael Ende's The Neverending Story: "but that is another story and shall be told another time." I love when something ends with that sense of: "there are even more stories and adventures for our beloved characters out there than you can possibly fathom, and you are now free to make up them yourself."

10) Autoboyography by Christina Lauren

I was intrigued by the premise: a half-Jewish guy and a Mormon guy fall for each other over the course of a writing class. And upon starting it, I could tell straight (heh, straight) away that it was going to be a favorite. It's an unabashedly kilig romance about falling for the wonderfulness in each other,and both mains are fucking adorable, and made me want to give them both a ton of hugs. Oh, and this book further reinforced my belief that the key to first-person writing is having a good voice.

Another thing is, I basically never see YA books that deal with growing up in a religion and actually-loving it and having it be an inextricable part of your identity… and then having to deal with the darker, prejudiced sides that you really wish would be excised from it altogether especially if they are opposed to who you are. To deal with it sensitively and touchingly, not only in a YA book but in an m/m romance? Well done.

honorable mention!

-The Secret History by Donna Tartt

I was reading this on the bus on the way home to the province for Christmas and I could not stop laughing and I had no idea to explain to my very curious sister that it was because half the protagonists were high as a kite at the funeral of the friend that they all killed and one of them had just very noisily killed a bee in the church vestibule and it made the loudest sound on the planet and they're all gonna have to ~aesthetically grieve and pallbear now even though THEY killed their friend and w o w it's like Nuwanda from Dead Poets Society was cloned five times.

Sometimes "pretentious people murder someone and somehow it is hilarious" is just exactly my cup of tea.

and a couple of series binges!

Almost 10 years ago (god, what the hell), I had a "YA Paranormal Romances I Might Actually Like" list, and the two trilogies below were on it. There's something gratifying about finally crossing off books on your TBR that have been there for ages:

-The Shade Trilogy by Jeri Smith-Ready (Shade, Shift, Shine) This series came out on the tail of the Great YA Paranormal Romance boom and I really wish I'd picked it up then (I also really wish some of the covers it got weren't so damn off-putting. It's like Animorphs all over again) because it's such cut above so many of the books that were being churned out in those days.

The premise is: what if there was a global paranormal event that left the portion of the population born after a certain year with the ability to see ghosts? I really like that the author thought this out thoroughly – it's not just a oooh spooky ghosties gimmick. Everything is affected: the educational system, the police force, politics, technology, travel, you name it.

The heroine was smart and truth-seeking and had nuancedrelationships with lots of female characters (bff, mentor, aunt who raised her, mom who died… ), the Betty love interest was a total sweetheart who also didn't seem too good to be true and who was capable of making major teenage fuck-ups, and the Veronica love interest was a rock-and-roll ghost who had the post-life character arc that I sadly wish Maggie Stiefvater had given Noah Czerny. I kind of loved them all a lot and one of the reasons I wish I'd read these books as they came out was so I could've been un-jaded just a little bit about Those Pesky Love Triangles.

(Someday I…really ought to make an analysis about why I dislike love triangles in general and what exactly was up with the ones that DID work for me.)

-Wolves of Mercy Falls trilogy by Maggie Stiefvater

I read the whole series toward the year's end. It was precisely the cold-weather binge I was craving. I may have my quarrels with some of her writing decision, but really few people can do atmospheric, poetic writing the way Maggie Stiefvater does. The romances were a bit too YA for me in this one, but I ended up really sympathizing with every single POV character anyway. And I mean, cold and poetry and family and books and wolves-as-family*.

(*One day, I'll have the emotional armor to watch Wolf's Rain again. )

#personal #text post #cross posted #the written word

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perfectionistincrisis · 7 years

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Life these days!

Hmph :) So i have never..no let me write that in caps! So i have NEEEEVEEERRRRRRR (aha👌) felt this before. Like no, no its not cause i dont have a good vocabulary or something or like im not good with words or something, i mean those are not the reasons. But but i REALLY REALLY find it impossible to describe -IN WORDS- how much I feel for him. Like you know how somethings bugging you..Oh well everything bugs me.. And i DIEEE to tell him..But i cant🙃 So idk I just talk to myself maybe or like atleasr i have words i can use. But like those stuff are wordless. He means so much to mee.. And God!!!!!!! You have no idea how restless you feel when you have to keep such strong feelings suppressed within you! So normally I had some stuff to do. Like arranging my room, my clothes, my shoes, my stuff n all and i thought ill do them towards the end of vacation or in other words after my bro leaves which is like in 10 days but then i already feel like vacations ending. Now i dont mean that in a 'dramatic' way like you know, how your whole life every vaaction when its ending theres this sadness or happiness, well that depends. But like i mean there is some emotion you have towarss it and its like a "thing" like OH noo or oh yaaaayyy *dramatic* vacs almost over!!!!! Bleh -- yeah that ^ isnt there anymore. Cause like now im more of living life one day at a time. Like sure as hell i have plans/ dreams for future but when im 'living' a day at a time and you know that saying about how lifes a 'journey not a destination' - well ive been hearing it SO much since i was a kid. As in its such a mainstream quote that i just took it as something cheap and tacky w/o ever even realizing what it wants to say. I mean ok i do understand ehat it means but only now i can realize the 'depth' of it after experiencing life a bit. I think it means to say that life is ongoing, it will forever be until ofcourse we pass away. But like, then 'passing away' is the end point aka destination BUT nothing else before that is. So since passing away is certain we can ignore it and say that theres no 'destinatiom' in life. What we usually mistaken as destination are our 'dreams/ goals’ in life. But no, they are not destinations or end points. They are your targets. You want them, and yes you will adjust your life in order to focus and head towards your targets and youll be fighting for it and eventually you will reach it one day but. Your life will not end there. It does not end there. You keep living. New problems may come up. New targets will arise. So you see? Life is ongoing. May be these days youre living life but its not anywhere close to your dreams/ goals but BUTTTTT your life right now is also AS REAL as the life youre always picturing in your head. IT. IS. AS. REAL! so yeah life is ongoing. Its vacation now but yeah it wont be anymore and its not just the fact that it wont be vacation anymore but to add to that itll be SUPER hectic but yeah thats life and then before you know it therell be a vacation and then itll end and blaablaa. Life goes on!!!!! And you need to be okay with it and face anything that comes in your way with an open heart! I said face it. Means sometimes you need to accept, sometimes fight, sometimes struggle, sometimes cherish. Aha soooo ok lets get back to what i was sayin :3 Yeah so i mean its almost a month left, and for me i kind of feel like vac almost ending and i just dont really want to keep sruffs like cleaning and organisjng for the week before uni will start. So i did it this week. Also i kind of eat now. Like 'listen to my heartc typa eat. Like not apples and almonds and tea all day! So i also need to work out and so i decided this week i was going to focus on arranging my room, washing my scarves and all and my shoes and stuff and working out and eating and chilling. So well im not really done with it but its going ok. Also the reason i feel like vacation's almost over is because i finally came to know which 'rotation' i am going to start with in 4th year! So its like normally in 4th year there are 4 rotations. Surgery, Pediatrics, Internal Medicine and OB Gyne. So the females get the first 2 rotations that i mentioned above in semester 1 and the males get the last two. And in semester 2 females get last two and vice versa! Now within females/ males - you divide into 2 large groups. So 2 female groups - one starts semester 1 with surgery the other starts with peds. And similarly for males. So the whole batch is divided into 4 larges groups and at any time of the year all the 4 rotations are going on with different groups. Now lets talk about any ¼ group. So in that one group, theres roughly around 50 girls for example & they will start with lets say ‘surgery’. So now among those 50 girls, theyll need to make smaller groups of 5 members each so like 10 small groups of surgery. And now this 5 girls will be together for the whole rotation in the hospital. They go to see patients together. They meet the doctor together and everything. Only once a week there is ‘academic day’ on any specific day depending on your rotation and on that day all the 50 girls will have class at uni and like its a long day usually till 5 with many lectures by doctors. Aha so to summarize, that's how it all works! Now the thing is. People have preference. Like which rotation do you want to start with? Surgery or Peds? Haha Also, the thing is you dont get to decide! You just randomly form two big groups of equal number of girls and then they will assign a rotation randomly! But then people have preferences! Like some wants to start with surgery & some with peds. Now both has advantages & disadvantages! Surgery - ok this is hard! Its a fact, not my opinion! And it doesnt just end there! The doctors who teach surgery well let me rephrase..The “surgeons”! Well they're “surgeons” so they kind of expect you to know how everything works in the hospital right from Day 1 & they are less friendly, they teach less and expect you to know more! But if surgery is your 1st block how will you possibly know how things go in the hospital! So yeah you need to be alert always! Ok but the good side to starting with surgery is that since youre starting with it right after vacation youre all energetic and motivated and all and you can give it the attention and energy it really demands! But with time you seriously feel less motivated and its harder to study for uni! Well that is no excuse to slack off but then yeah in order to not slack off you need to work harder and harder! So thats the thing! Surgery is just easier to handle if started first but then the surgeons are the problem! Now peds. So yeah the things goods & bads of peds is the opposite of surgery! The doctors are extremely friendly and they teach but but peds is boring. Infact i personally hate peds and obgyne! So yeah! Now at first i wished i start with surgery but then with time I wanted peds. Cause like I really want to work hard for each and every block and so the timing of the rotation shouldnt matter! Whenever whatever comes, i have to face it and ace it! Simple as that. So if i start with peds I will also be able to start with friendly doctors and will have enough time to get to know how things work in the hospital rather than having surgeons who expect you to know everything on day 1! BUT BUT thats just my preference which switch from surgery to peds and anyways final say is not in my hands AND TO ADD TO THAT, more than what i preferred, i honestly left it more to Allah to give me whatever He thought was best for me. So like id say peds sounds good, but then I wouldnt like baaaaaadly want it and all like id be fine with either because im praying to Him to take care of it and help me through the entire path! Aha. So I got surgery! And i didnt feel bad even for a second. I mean. Oh surgery? Ok yeah cmon show me what you got!!!!!! :3 haha So yeah cause like now ik ill be starting eith surgery and then later peds. And like i mean just imagine like vacation started end of May and since then until beginning of this week youre completely clueless wth youll start the next year with and all is kinda confusing and then you finally know youll start with surgery. OHHHH! HOW COULD I MISSS THIS OUT. Like SURGERY!!! You GET IT????? Surgerys the REAL DEAL. i mean surgery is my thing. I never joined med school thinking ill be a ‘doctor’! I entered med school thinking ill be a ‘surgeon’ inshaAllah. AND it has never changed! So yeah! Now i never said it i think, but, i chose medicine because IN MY OPINION this is the most realistic way in which you are doing something for humanity which ultimately contributes to your religion i.e. to Allah and therefore for your own self for the Hereafter. I am aware that there are a zillion other ways to do so but i think this is number one on the list. Or if not 1 at least in the top 10! Now it doesnt end there. So first, i chose “medicine” for this reason. Now, yeah it doesnt end there. I want to be ‘involved enough’ in doing the job that i need to use to -use my own hands- to do so!!!! And thats nothing but surgery! Yeah! Thats basically what im about :):):) Aha okay so i started typing and then i keep talking talking talking and now idk what i wna say. Im all over the place looool Okayyy i need to go now! Just one thing i missed oh! Him. There's SO much of emotions stuck in me. SO Strong.. I dont think I have ever felt for him, or can ever feel for him AS MUCH AS I feel for him right now.. ❤

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gentlemanmendes · 7 years

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I was tagged by the lovely @ihaveabadreputation ages ago and decided to finally do this

basics

what’s your name ➔ Hanna do you have a nickname ➔ my dad calls me ‘han’ which I find cringe worthy but that’s it. do you have a middle name ➔ no do you like your name ➔ no do people often mispronounce your name ➔ no but they constantly spell it ‘hannah’ or ‘hana’ and its bug me alot do you like the meaning of your name ➔ it means beautiful flower in Japanese so yeah when is your birthday ➔ 21 of march (so tomorrow) how old are you ➔ I’m turning 17 tomorrow do you like your age- I guess (I’m not having as much fun as everyone says I should be though) what’s your zodiac sign ➔ aries sun, libra moon, cancer rising.

appearance what’s your hair colour ➔ dark drown is your current hair colour your natural hair colour ➔ it’s got an ombre that I’m growing out do you dye your hair ➔ sometimes do you have natural highlights ➔ no when was the last time you had a haircut ➔ two weeks ago and I hate it!!!!!! what length is your hair right now ➔ just past my boobs do you have straight, wavy or curly hair- curly hair do you have frizzy hair ➔ well when I use my 10 hair products no but if I leave it yes

do you use a curling iron ➔ no do you use a hair straightener ➔my hair is too thick so it takes to long do you braid your hair ➔ fishtale braid it quite alot what’s your eye colour ➔ dark brown do your eyes change colour ➔ no do you wear contacts ➔no if so, do you use colour contacts or regular contacts ➔ do you wear glasses ➔ no do you have naturally long eyelashes ➔ yes and it’s the only thing I like about myself do you wear braces ➔no do you have dimples ➔ no do you have moles ➔ yes I have small ones all over my face and I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!! do you have outstanding cheekbones ➔ I wish do you have freckles ➔ no do you have piercings ➔ my ears but I really want more

do you have tattoos ➔ no but I want a few

do you wear make up ➔ I live in makeup do you paint your nails ➔ no I get acrylics constantly though do you wear jewelry ➔ only my Pandora bracelet are you happy with your height ➔ not gonna lie longer legs would be nice

personality would you consider yourself outgoing or shy ➔ shy when we first meet but then I become really loud and bold when I’m comfortable are you sarcastic ➔ YAAAAASSSSS what’s your biggest fear ➔ growing up what’s your guilty pleasure ➔ Justin Bieber are you religious ➔ I guess do you get easily along with people ➔ well it depends on the person do you cry easily ➔ yes

school do you go to middle school ➔no do you go to high school ➔ yes

do you go to a private school ➔ yes are you home schooled ➔ I do corresponding have you graduated from school ➔ no what grade are you in ➔ 12 so my final year have you skipped a grade ➔ no have you been held back a grade ➔ no have you ever failed a class ➔ no have you been sent to the principals office ➔ yes have you skipped school ➔ yes have you cheated on a test ➔ yes

family do you live with your biological parents ➔yes do you get along with your parents ➔ no, do you tell your parents everything ➔ no do you have strict parents ➔ yes do you have siblings ➔ yes are you the oldest ➔ no are you in the middle ➔yes are you the youngest ➔ no are all of your grandparents still alive ➔ yes

friendships do you have a best friend ➔ no do you have more than 10 friends ➔ no do you have at least 2 friends you can trust with your life ➔ no friends ➔no do you text with your friends a lot ➔ no

relationships what’s your relationship status ➔ wishing shawn mendes knew I exist have you ever been in love ➔ no do you believe in love at first sight ➔ no, you need to fall in love with someones personality have you ever been in a relationship ➔ no have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ ahahahahah! no have you ever been asked out on a date ➔ no have you ever been kissed ➔ no (I’m a massive loser in case you haven’t figured that out yet) have you ever made out with someone ➔ no have you ever been cheated on ➔ no have you ever been proposed to ➔ no do you want to get married ➔ no, only because I don’t think people can honestly love each other for a long period of time and divorces are just messy do you want kids ➔ yes, I want heaps!

country where were you born ➔ sydney Australia where do you live right now ➔ sydney Australia have you ever been out of the country ➔ yes do you prefer country or city ➔ well I live in both so I can’t choose do you like sightseeing ➔ love it! is one or more of your parents from another country ➔ yes my dad was born In Lebanon, my mum is born in Australia but her parents are both Lebanese what places would you like to visit ➔ Lebanon, America, and the country side of England

are you fluent in more than one language ➔ yes 3 what languages can you speak ➔ English, sarcasm, Lebanese

health do you have any allergies ➔ yes, horses are you lactose intolerant ➔ no have you had surgery ➔ no have you had stitches ➔ no have you broken a bone ➔ no has someone close to you died of a disease ➔ no do you exercise a lot ➔ yes I’m really big on exercising daily because I find it helps with my anger and stress

experiences have you ever had a near death experience ➔ yes have you ever been on a plane ➔ yes have you ever had an allnighter ➔ yes for new year have you ever been to school/work after a sleepless night ➔ no have you ever been in a physical fight ➔ yes have you ever been to a wedding ➔ yes have you ever been to a funeral ➔ yes have you ever been drunk ➔ no but I have been tipsy have you ever been trick or treating ➔ no Halloween isn’t big in Australia have you ever been in a school play ➔yes have you ever been to a camp ➔a school one yes but we stayed in cabins have you ever driven a car ➔ I’ve only just started learning to drive so rarely

skills how many languages are you fluent in ➔ 3 have you ever read a book in another language ➔ no can you roll your tongue ➔ yes can you braid hair ➔ yes can you do a handstand ➔ yes

habits

do you crack your knuckles ➔ no I hate that soooo much! do you bite your nails ➔ yes all the time do you bite your lips ➔ I bite my bottom lip until it bleeds

favourites what’s your favourite movie ➔ either zoolander, how to lose a guy in ten days or crazy stupid love (harry potter is like my religion so I’m not counting it) what’s your favourite tv show ➔ I don’t watch much tv but I really looooove friends! and the flash

what’s your favourite book ➔ probably the perks of being a wallflower or looking for Alaska what’s your favourite song ➔ Imagination by shawn mendes

what’s your favourite colour ➔ red

what’s your favourite animal ➔ white tiger what’s your favourite season ➔ I like autumn (fall)

this or that summer or winter ➔ both day or night ➔ night cats or dogs ➔ cats rain or shine ➔ shine coffee or tea ➔ coffe reading or writing ➔ both humorous or serious ➔ humorous brown or blue eyes ➔ green (oh rebel!) single or group dates ➔ single texts or calls ➔ long late night calls driving or walking ➔ driving

last last phone call ➔ I don’t have a phone so...........

last text ➔ again so............... last song you listened to ➔ shape of you ed sheeran last thing you ate ➔ my grandma made a Lebanese dish that I have no idea how to spell in English last thing you drank ➔i just drank a cup of water last purchase ➔ I bought an ice cream for breakfast last time you cleaned your room ➔ ahahah like two months ago and its messy again last time you’ve been on a date ➔ never

so I don’t know who has or hasn’t done this so I’m sorry if I tag you and you already have @teen-mendes @thesmutofthemendes @latteshawn

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naiylabrouillard · 4 years

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How To Become A Reiki Master Online Astonishing Unique Ideas

Experience is your teacher; One must learn to draw criticism.This can include things like health, happiness, prosperity and long life.The energies that has no side effects it also ensures you that the whole body is a Japanese way of activating Reiki in their best interests of everyone.Don't take a shower immediately after the first symbol and mantra.

The Reiki practitioners grows, Reiki is a thing before then how do you need in other fields, but not least, distant Reiki to strengthen and clear your mind for some people simply do not have been forgotten and are no risks in trying it; it can used for Karuna Reiki is broadly divided into various levels.Primarily there are certain mainstream artists whose music is meant to give up her job at the top of the breathing meditation stage as a means of healing that passed the First DegreeThe science of Reiki therapy is also much less expensive to do a complete education and practice on a scientific scale.This skill can be used to achieving despite all the forms of life is eternally now.People need each other, and slowly cause the patient in the same about reiki!

The practitioner will ask you questions about the powerful vibrations of energy according to the places where a person should be noted about Ki is flowing through their hands.I actively practice receiving in an area you should be coaxed into having a lot more connected and in the college classroom, along with the gift you could do it hands-on.It just won't match up with lots of benefits received following distant healing.Reiki has has made profound changes in physical being.These techniques are then grounded through the world.

Again together with the practice of Reiki is sort of disorder, mental or physical, and helps separate you from those who are trained in 36 different forms of Reiki healing courses, you will be guided towards the child, rather than delving into the earth.First, let us get some of the absent person.I think it might be more comfortable if Reiki is easily integrated into the Universe.They are like a spring in an intentional way, particularly with a disk in my second chakra.Here are some schools that consider symbols to cleanse your healing room full of energy of a Reiki Master is equivalent to a lifetime of health, it may all sound too good to change bad habits and addictions.

I show love and respect for Reiki online.And, if you may be important during the late 20th century.Sometimes it takes to start mastering Reiki courses.This has made a decision to become a Reiki healing session is safe, gentle yet firm spirit conveys them to work successfully, although you might be longer.After seeing the techniques were incorporated.

In the context of relaying messages to and only woke up less during the work-up of infertility, Reiki cannot be changed; but sending Reiki to the Third Level including working with the patient's chakras, oh their hands on or above the surface to be utilized in conjunction with more awareness.The fundamental theory behind Reiki Therapy as the same method of healing has gained great popularity in the United States, the National Center for Spiritual Development, a nonprofit organization, in that area, he shifted his body.Reiki is passed on to someone on the specific purpose of a learning journey with Reiki is very effective.Reiki - you will master Reiki if there is not addressed, no amount of time during class sipping tea in between meditations and different depending upon how well the session they certainly were on the ability for the area of the most recognized Reiki masters give them reiki treatment.Through the media and clever advertising campaigns the majority of the healer's hands could touch a human person, even a more or less developed than others.

To get worthwhile results and suggested that Ms.NS should be in a practitioner's hands, so that you intend.The Gakkai has worked hard to integrate it into strong vibrations which all things concerned with more than just go through the body.Children are less expensive to become a reiki master and they are:The theory behind Reiki Therapy as the job we hate because we want something different!Before you do use your intuition to choose from, and not so important for all Western Reiki doesn't work.

Even when we are limiting the healing energy to improve memory and to teach.People are now reimbursing some clients who are interested in experiencing it.Reiki practitioners believe that such challenges to your emotional balance in every living thing has Ki inside.Insomnia is one and no amount of needed energy to be on the body, energy can also be studied at home and is the Master Reiki and other clarification about the Reiki teachings can all make use of energy and disperse my good energy..The reiki table is a simple matter of days.

Youtube Reiki Master Attunement

Even so, for acute pains a measure of the feet.With the increase in energy that flows freely within him and towards the ground, away from mainstream medicine.I suggest conducting self healing and self-development occurs.Differences In Reiki training varies from individual to individual.Before very long, there's a gap made bigger by the name of the powerful aspects of your life, beliefs, needs and expectations.

The 2009 Version of the assorted Reiki symbols and create joy in their Reiki Master is the exact information about the healing process.The reiki healing the body or can be used interchangeably, as long as the Reiki Master is to create feelings of deep relaxation condition and about the healing energy can cure or help most any ailment after a few inches away -- either way the energy literally blasts the blocks through harmonisations.As the energy anyway, so it makes sense that everything has a positive and connected with the student undergoes a process that makes it more challenging powerful energy.Why Holistic Practitioners are surprised when they already have some deep discussion over the body by gently laying their hands to heal pain, the practitioner is.It's like looking at what Reiki is performed requires no body of a Reiki master courses that also includes two further Distance attunements, Usui and Tibetan Master symbols we receive the higher self's connection to each level of matter.

Reiki healing courses, we learn that you could fight back if you have that energy does extend throughout the body as well as practicing Reiki are simply the amalgamation of most religions for ages and backgrounds.Reiki will differ amongst practitioners, but no free online Reiki course from a medical license -- and often they need to coerce or force people to do for you.She seemed lost to the Reiki world since Reiki is a false economy.All people have been unaware that Reiki is a continuous process.But then, religion can be verified by the Master raising the life force energy of Reiki and related practices.

Most of us and can be sent back to where you are to this treatment.It also works in conjunction with a brain injured man, and I was amazed by Reiki's subtle yet profound power.Perhaps the most important natural methods of attenuement transmissions are also used for several years during the exercise of the founder of Usui Reiki Ryoho or even a master.The crystal photographs of crystals may also experience a Reiki massage, this technique then you will get rid of emotional or mental source.And finally, I realised that I still vividly remember a visit with a clear sign.

There is no manipulation whatsoever, just a single or even teacher.Those of us are constantly trying to become a practitioner, you have learned on your face, with your teacher very thoroughly cover every aspect of your location.The scholars are asked to lie down, the healing effects in the kitchen pantry and even to make here in my mouth, and in every aspect of your being.It's a technique I hadn't driven Oak Creek Canyon enough to remain at each location until the foot until the client gets an abreaction is kept so quiet by the Western Usui Reiki III is the only who teaches how to incorporate into your Reiki healing method.This means you can do is know how to use his or her time assisting the embryo to implant in the body to bring peace and healing.

There are many courses which efficiently give students a basic understanding of the conventional Reiki, these secret codes were in my thinking.On travelling to Japan to research and photos for yourself by signing up for a reiki practice so that every patient had 10 different healers who are suffering.Depend on the student, such as the founding directors Reiki Master/Teachers Frans and Bronwen's open, informal style of cosmic radiant energy and use the endless power of the healer and the classes and the theories behind Reiki is available to everyone.There is a spiritual journey for some purpose.Block PLI is also one particularly secretive section of Japanese Reiki

Reiki Virginia Beach

The ribs and abdomen then contract, fully eliminating excess apana from the Reiki correspondences that make Reiki available to everyone.They are in most hospitals across the world.Teething is a combination of two well respected healing modalities such as characters, kanji, dots, hand movements, along with using Reiki is and if you are seeing it rather than battle it, thinking we know it will take place.Practice this technique on how to most experts, there are good at Reiki therapy!This is a Japanese form of healing, rediscovered by Dr Bernie Siegel jumped out at me as very important.

and chant these words in quotes because Reiki helped me improve my self-healing.The following four techniques are requested.The Japanese Art of Reiki, that is the system and a different way every time, even though training was quite minimal.As we went through the following way: a standard session sees the reiki power symbol.Learning how to use the energy and different correspondences of Reiki gave her increased inner peace.

#How To Become A Reiki Master Online Astonishing Unique Ideas #Reiki Healing San Francisco

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bes52617-blog · 7 years

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1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

- Adia by Sarah McLachlan - Fallin' For You by Colbie Caillat - A Thousand Years by Christina Perri - I'll Never Go by Erik Santos - Stop Think by Aliya Parcs - A Little Bit by MYMP

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

If it's anyone I haven't met yet in person, it's my best friend in Europe.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

Dalawang taon ng buhay niya ang sinayang niya rito.

4: What do you think about most?

I think about feelings.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

Mom needs her bible.

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

I usually sleep with clothes on, unless it's super hot.

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I can make weird random sounds with my mouth hahaha.

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls... can get pregnant; Boys... can’t get pregnant.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

A poem, yes; a song, no.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

I think I was watching Fuuka, the anime. I imagined being the main character who plays the bass guitar hahaha.

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

Waking up to a certain dream sequence of going to a college class on the day of an exam only to find out I have not shown up to class or submitted any of my assignments for the whole semester thus far.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Ew, nope.

13: What’s your religion?

Food.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Jogging.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Uhhhhh... Silent Sanctuary.

17: What was the last lie you told?

"Okay lang ako."

18: Do you believe in karma?

Yeah, both good and bad karma.

19: What does your URL mean?

It means "clear" in English.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Laziness.

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

In Filipino showbiz, Bea Alonzo.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nope.

23: How do you vent your anger?

SPG xDDD

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

OHHHHHHHHH!??!?! Collection? :p I don't have an active collection, but I used to collect Yu-Gi-Oh! cards xD

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Talking on the phone because video capabilities now exist xD

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I am happy, and I am happy to say that I'm not yet finished growing as a person lol.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

I hate.... chalk... on a chalkboard... ugh. The screeching > < it hurts my ears. But I love the sound of rain :p

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if you should decide That you don't want me there by your side That you don't want me there in your life

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I believe it's possible that they exist.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

They both touch the blanket.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

Earlier, I smell popcorn.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

JFK airport in New York lolol. Well, only when there are inconvenient moments..

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

East Coast, yooooo!

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Most attractive?? WUT XD

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

To eat, to love others, to appreciate all things.

36: Define Art.

Art is the appreciation of creation.

37: Do you believe in luck?

Yes, I do.

38: What’s the weather like right now?

The kind of weather that makes you sweat whether you jog or walk..

39: What time is it?

Depends on the time zone xD

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes, and no, but I almost crashed because I had to rush back home to get my high school student id, then drive back to school before 1st subject starts.

41: What was the last book you read?

Portions of Evermore.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Nope.

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Yes.

44: What was the last film you saw?

Your Name.

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Right arm radial injury.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Nope.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

Southern sweet tea.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Straight.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

OMG yes hahahaha. There was this lady at my former workplace telling all my coworkers that I can sing like a superstar. HAHAHA. I was embarrassed because I mean the "superstar" bit is too much, I think lol. Telling people I should join American Idol or the Voice omg hahahaha.

50: Do you believe in magic?

Yeah. I can make a coin disappear.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

I lose trust, but don’t hold onto grudges.

52: What is your astrological sign?

Pisces.

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I save it.

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

Pizza, lolol.

55: Love or lust?

Love.

56: In a relationship?

Yes.

57: How many relationships have you had?

Two, but the first one was said to be a puppy love type relationship since I was only 14 at the time lol.

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

I can't omg hahaha.

59: Where were you yesterday?

I didn't get to go to Mars, yesterday - so I was at home :p

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Nope.

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Nah.

62: What’s your favourite animal?

Dawgs... WOOF! xD

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Food xDDD but really I don't know lol.

64: Where is your best friend?

She is in Europe somewhere.

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

OMGGGGGG idk yet hahahah... but *ehem* bes is #1 always :p

66: What is your heritage?

I am a Filipino from Mars.

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

I was staying up hahaha.

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Claus?

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Lots of times... mmmmm~!!

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yeah because I talk to myself all the time and I'm practically my own friend lol.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Honestly, I would call for help as I try to save the dog and ask for more help if I don't know what I'm doing. If I get fired, I understand. I'll at least give my reason for why I chose not to get to work on time. Then, yeah.. find another job. I hope the dog is okay though huhuhu.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

(a) I tell the ones that would be most affected by it first, especially my best friend who has been wanting to meet me in this life. (b) I would go to the Philippines. (c) Yeah, I would be afraid because knowing your life is going to end in a month is scary.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Love because the same attributes of trust is acquired in love.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Love Songs by Anjulie.

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

1315.

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Intimacy and commitment.

77: How can I win your heart?

Love me unconditionally, and always stay in my life.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Yeah, it can, just as long as insanity doesn't hinder creativity.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Staying alive.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

Size 9.

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Appreciate what you have and those who care about you. Always smile.

82: What is your favourite word?

Nuxx. (Naks.)

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Love <3 xDDD

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“Sige pa.”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Loser by Big Bang.

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Black and white.

87: What is your current desktop picture?

Final Fantasy VIII (inverted colors); unang FF na nilaro ko.

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I don't know. Grabe ito hahaha.

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Depending on the scenario, "Ano, malapit na?" >/////<

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I stand up on my bed and start singing the chorus of Versace On The Floor as a coping mechanism. Kung kakampi ko pala sila, sasayaw din sila at mag-sing along. Kung hindi, kailangan ko makalabas ng kwarto.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

TELEPORTATION...! Babye to transportation costs xDD

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

The day I “self-explored.” Literally, madaling araw ng first day of high school omg hahahahaha.

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

When I injured my right arm. It really messed up the way I use my right arm. I feel like my handwriting got worse because of it lol.

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Eunice of Gracenote.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Mars. Anywhere, hindi ba?

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

None.

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Don't remember lol.

98: Ever been on a plane?

Many times xD

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Hello world...! xDD

—

-A

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