#nowadays ive got other projects
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i JUST started listening to sleep token and went to the tag only to find you there, please tell me more about this band?? collective?? i need more
You got it buddy! One order of a full Sleep Token beginner primer, coming up!
Sleep Token are a rock? metal? genre blending collective based out of England, tho nobody's 100% sure of where the members are from because they are also a masked and anonymous project. Their style of music varies greatly from album to album and song to song. From soft ballads, to electronic music, to indie, to progressive / prog metal, to post-rock / post-metal, and now with their newest singles, a definite shift into heavier sounds with roots in djent and -core genre elements like breakdowns and scream vocals, let's just say they are very diverse and there are not many bands that sound the same out there. Their blending is pretty unique, and imo will prove to be genre-defining in the coming years. They are signed to Spinefarm records and they're touring as we speak in Europe.
They formed in 2016 and self-released their first EP called One that same year. Their second EP aptly called Two was released in 2017 on Basick. They currently have two full length albums out on Spinefarm, 2019's Sundowning and 2021's This Place Will Become Your Tomb, which are the crux of the material you wanna look into. I always advise that you listen to the whole albums front to back because artists plan these tracklists deliberately, so we owe it to them to consume their output the way they intended us to, but! I also realize nowadays nobody does that because of Spotify and streaming, unfortunately, so: for Sundowning, I'd recommend Sugar as a first track because it touches on both the soft and harsh sides of the album beautifully; and for TPWBYT I'd say start with Alkaline (bonus points for a delicious video to get you into their visual side too).
On January 6th and 7th 2023, they released two new songs to showcase their new sound, Chokehold and The Summoning. These two singles seem to be the optimal path currently to get into the band. There are rumors of a new album called Take Me Back To Eden to be released this year, there's a tracklist floating around online though we don't know if its legit, and there are also rumors for new singles coming out, at the time of writing this, tomorrow and in two days, on the 19th and 20th of January 2023.
There's also a recording of an acoustic show called From The Room Below floating online, with new takes on their previous songs and a few choice covers like Billie Eilish's When The Party's Over, surprising crossovers that are emotional experiences.
Now, visually and in theme, you'll notice the band has a storyline of sorts. The lore of Sleep Token is this: the band was formed after an ancient deity called Sleep (a reductive name that doesn't encompass the deity's nature at all, but its true name cannot be spoken in any human tongue) revealed itself to the singer, Vessel, in his sleep. Sleep appears to be a powerful force worshiped in ancient civilizations, that gave them the blessing of dreams and the curse of nightmares. Since this apparition, Vessel's life purpose has been to worship and make offerings to Sleep via music.
The members of the band are all called vessels, we can infer vessels for Sleep. The singer is Vessel I, but the fandom's moved to just calling him Vessel. The other members are just called by their numbers. II is on drums, III is on bass, IV is on guitar. They're all vessels. They wear masks to hide their identities, with what seems to be full body black paint and some variety of stage costumes including hooded coats and capes and now apparently full pauldrons and void wizard staves.
You'll come across some specific lingo when encountering Sleep Token content or in the fandom. These terms mostly come from their official social media so they use them themselves, it's not fan made.
"Worship" is the tagline, kinda like "Nema" is with Ghost. You'll see fans telling each other that all the time. To Worship is to take part in enjoying the band in any way you can: listening to the music, watching videos, streaming their stuff, spreading the word, going to shows, buying merch, etc.
Sleep Token's shows are called Rituals, like Ghost's. Pictures and videos are referred to as Sacred Moments, or Sacred Moments in Time. The bands they tour with are called Brethren.
Sleep Token's songs are called Offerings. Because they are written as a means to Worship the Sleep deity. Offerings can also be in the form of instrument playthroughs, videos, etc. What the band produces.
When you listened to new material or acquire merch, you also Consume.
A note on their anonymity to finish: while there are rumors about who the band members are, nothing's confirmed and the band's explicit wish is to maintain this anonymity, so it fundamental to respect those wishes and not try to dig. They value art for art, they let the music speak for itself, and they explicitely wish for their music to be detached from who they are as people. Let's leave the magic in place both for them and for us!
Welcome to the fold! Worship!
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“The day responsible for a life-long friendship between PAUL McCARTNEY and Ivan Vaughn started on the 18th June, 1942-the day they were born.
They didn't actually meet until eleven years afterwards-both grammar school pupils at Liverpool Institute. There the "twin" friendship between Paul and Ivan was struck up and has lasted ever since.
"One reason which has helped the friendship to last," said Paul, "is the fact that Ive now lives in London, so we can see each other fairly often.
"He has introduced me to several things over the years, the most important being The Beatles. Ive used to play bass in a group himself, but he's given it all up now.
"Ive was always a great one for hitch-hiking. He introduced us (Beatles) to the idea of going to Spain, Greece and so on.
When he got married, Ive and his wife hitchhiked all over America for their honeymoon, which was pretty good.
"We took up the idea, only we used to go to Harwich, cross the Channel by boat, and then we'd fly back from wherever we'd hitched to.
"When I joined the group, Ive went to London University to read classics. But we still kept in touch—and we even celebrated our twenty-first birthdays together in Liverpool.
"His work nowadays has nothing to do with mine. Ive is a programmed education researcher. Sounds complicated, but it means a new way of teaching children languages." Paul obviously knew all about Ive's job and described it lengthily.
"What do Ive and I talk about? Well, anything.
What do you talk to your friends about?"
Hey, I said, who's asking the questions?
"Ah, well, there you are," said Paul.
"We just talk about the things any friends talk about..
Well, I don't suppose Paul is ever at loss for words-nor Ivan, either, with a job like his.
From the Paul McCartney Project (x)
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On One Condition
Word Count: 1878
Tags: Poorly Translated Italian (Ghost), google translated italian, Take a shot every time amore or tesoro is used, Beta read by myself instead of my normal editor so if its bad that’s why, Hint to a Needy Copia, Husband!Copia, Kissing the makeup away, Fluff, light fluff, gender neutral reader, I stressed a lot over the italian and the pronouns so if something is wrong I'm sorry
Summary: You get the incredible honor of watching Copia put on his makeup aka Just a test fic to see if it does well and if I’ll write more.
You hesitated before you knocked. Sure, you didn’t need to be so concerned with formalities nowadays– especially having tied the knot to the Ghost Project’s front man– but something was different that night. Rituals were a vital part of your life now. You had attended a few rituals, both when you were in your courtship to Copia– Before he was a papa, and after he had been promoted. Tonight’s ritual wasn’t any different to any other one, it was just another day at work for your husband now. The word husband alone gave you butterflies as you swirled it around in your head.
Still, you paused just outside of Copia’s door, biting your lip as you stood there. He was supposed to be getting ready, getting dressed and into his ritual makeup. You didn’t want to interrupt him before he needed to focus. You’d never live with yourself if you were that much of a distraction. You paused and took a breath, pushing those thoughts from your head. You were married to Copia now, freshly married. He vowed to be at your side, so something as simple as checking on him before a ritual wouldn’t be that much of a bother, would it? Gently, you rapped your knuckle against the door, wincing at the sound it made. It seemed so much louder in the empty hallway, the sound bouncing off the cement floor.
“Come in.” A muffled Copia said gently from the otherside of the door. He didn’t sound annoyed at the disturbance, so you pushed the door open lightly, peeking in. Copia sat in front of a mirror, the room dimly lit except for a few lights directed to his face. Copia’s makeup-less face. You checked your phone, glancing at the time and looking up to where your husband now sat.
“I would have thought you’d be ready by now…” You whispered, not wanting to break the silence. A small smile crept up on your lips as Copia looked up, looking surprised to see you in the mirror’s reflection.
“Amore, I wasn’t expecting you before the ritual.” He stood up, turning to face you. He was in his papal robes, the jewels twinkling in the dim light as he moved, his salt and pepper hair slicked back and mismatched eyes looking only at you. It all contrasted so well with the bright blue fabric that shimmered as he walked. You moved so you were further in the room now, gently shutting the door behind you with a click. Copia crossed the room in a few strides, robes flowing behind him as he took your hands in his, rubbing his thumbs along the backs of them.
“I thought I’d check up on you before you went out there,” You motioned to the vague direction of the stage with your head, grinning up at him as you took a step closer. Copia leaned forward and gently placed his lips on your cheek, the smell of his aftershave and incense wafting up your nose. His soft kisses trailed down to your jaw, and then to your neck.
It was a smell you could get lost in, something you could find instant comfort that enveloped you like a warm hug on a cold winter’s night. Copia hummed into your neck, letting go of your hands and wrapping himself around you. He seemed tense, almost nervous. Papa Emeritus IV never got nervous. Softly, you pulled back, looking Copia in the eyes with a look of worry.
“Are you alright, Cardi?” Your tone came out more worrisome than you had intended, another hum escaping Copia’s throat as he looked back to you and into your eyes.
“I’m fine, Tesoro mia, just before a ritual…I get a bit…uh…” He trailed off, as if looking for the right word to say. You reached up to brush some hair behind Copia’s ear, smiling gently.
“Nervous?” You finished for him. Copia nodded, shrugging a bit. A bubble of giggles rose up out of your mouth as you smoothed back his hair. “The great Papa Emeritus the Fourth gets nervous before addressing his fans?” Your voice was soft, not mocking or making fun of him in any way. More than prepared to give him a big speech about how he was more than just an amazing man, but a talented Papa as well, you gently led Copia back over to his chair next to the mirror, hands clutched in his. He sat, as if getting the hint that he needed to get ready.
“Si, I guess,” He looked at himself in the mirror before staring up at you. “Will you stay with me, amore? While I get ready?” Copia looked as if he was pleading with you, his hands still clutching yours as you sat across him. If you weren’t married to the man, you would have gasped at the honour. Watching a Papa put his makeup on wasn’t a ‘thing’ one did. It was usually a private, intimate moment before a ritual. Of course, there were exceptions to you now. Pulling a wide smile across your face, you nodded.
“I would be honoured, Papa.” You grinned, shooting him a wink as he blushed slightly. He turned to his reflection and began the process, mumbling to himself.
“The way you speak to me like that and the harder it’ll be to get ready, amore.”
You grinned, moving so you were snuggled a bit comfier onto the couch. Slowly, the man you married melted away to Papa Emeritus the Fourth, black and white paint erasing his freckles and hiding the face that you had woken up to just that morning. Despite the ritual starting soon, Copia took his time as he gently worked. Paint slid over his jaw line, his cheekbones, along his nose. A nose that you missed, you thought with a hum. It was still a face you loved, you thought, but you missed his old one just a little bit.
“Something on your mind?” Copia asked, still painting away at his face. He glanced over to you out of the corner of his eye when you didn’t reply right away, making sure you were okay. You snickered a bit, a look of concern echoing over his features.
“Nothing, I just…I miss your nose.” You hummed. Copia stopped the brush he had in his hand and set it down, looking at you with his lips slightly parted.
“My nose? Tesoro mia, I’m not sure I understand.”
“And your sideburns. I was heartbroken when you shaved them off,” You grinned teasingly. “And the moustache.” You were now leaning as you watched him, your chin leaning on your arms as you draped over the side of the couch. Copia looked at you, a hint of a joking glare out of the corner of his eyes.
“You know, you do not help my nerves, topolino. All this teasing, do I not look better now?” He was nearly finished with his Papa makeup now, his face more menacing looking with the makeup around his eyes more slanted. He looked angry like this, though you knew through his soft eyes that he was far from it.
“I married you, didn’t I?” You teased, before leaning back. “I like you just the way you are now, makeup, nose and all.”
Copia hummed, pushing himself up from the desk now that he was finished. He straightened his robes out and smoothed them down, turning to you with a little flourish. With his makeup on and his costume on, he truly was a sight to behold. Copia was gone for the night, now Papa stood before you. He was still the same man, underneath it all. Still the same man who tucked his rats in at night and wore his socks to bed. Underneath the black and white was the man who would kiss you on the forehead in the morning, and would chastise himself if he forgot.
“How do I look, amore?” He posed, arms and hands outstretched. His eyes were wide, searching for your approval.
“Very..menacing. You look perfect.” You smiled, getting off of the couch and striding over to Copia, watching as he seemed relieved and smiled. It wasn’t a lie, you thought, far from it. Copia had just been a Cardinal when you started seeing him, and watched him grow into the lead singer position of Ghost, and now he was standing in front of you– as a Papa. You couldn’t help but smile proudly at him. The makeup was menacing and intimidating, but it was a sign of how far he had come. Copia took your hands in his, looking at you with a twinkle in his eye, that irresistible look on his face that always made you melt.
“Grazie, tesoro,” He hummed, taking his own turn to brush some of your hair behind your ear. You could fade away into his touch and never come out, feeling the warmth of his hands from inside his gloves. His voice was husky and deeper than normal, more intimate and close.
You smiled, pulling yourself closer to him by the lapels of his blue papal robes. “Would I get your ritual paint on me if I gave you a kiss?” You asked, eyes darting to his lips. Copia raised an eyebrow for a moment, staying silent, as if he was considering his words before wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer.
“I could always touch it up after, on one condition, si?”
You bit your lip, keeping a giggle down. “Okay then, what is your condition, papa?” You practically bounced from foot to foot in Copia’s arms.
“You agree to stay with me for all my pre-ritual tasks? You give me a certain confidence, after all, amore. I don’t think I could get ready without you.”
A wide smile beamed across your face as you leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss to Copia’s lips. The black face paint and lipstick made him just the slightest bit slippery, as it hadn’t had time to dry. Copia solved the issue by gripping you closer, deepening the kiss with an aggressive parting of your lips. You were sure your own face would be a mess, but you didn’t care. Pulling back, Copia let out a bit of a whimper, his mouth missing the taste of yours already.
“I think I can arrange that, as long as I get a condition as well.”
Copia cocked a smile and nodded. “I didn’t know that was how this deal worked, tesoro mia, but I will do whatever it is you ask of me. I’d give you the full moon if you asked.”
Suddenly the options were endless that you could ask of him, not that you would go as far to ask for the moon. You thought about it for a moment, mind buzzing with the idea of a back rub or something far more bedroom related– before you settled on one.
“Can the sideburns come back? Just for a day or two?” You bit your lip, the taste of lipstick on your tongue. Copia nodded and took a step back, bowing slightly before you. The light bounced off his robes, sparkling like a thousand stars.
“Your wish is my command, amore.”
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some weirdly specific artist game questions im answering while eating dinner. im gonna use my truly abysmal surface pen so theyre gonna be jittery af.
2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)
8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in
I feel like I don’t lose interest in projects so much as I run out of time to do them nowadays. I had a bunch of ideas for a shortbox comics fair project and then got too busy to execute and meet the deadlines. same with some zines... I still want to do them!! Idk when though.
I guess when I was a kid I used to be interested in more ambitious original writing, long form fantasy type stuff. I think if you really dig through my archives you can probably find ocs from ideas like that but I don’t have a lot of interest in pursuing stories like that anymore because... idk even writing short things is tough for me.
11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what
5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself
I think this is mostly because ive been “finishing” art less lately? or like... making less small things and more singular big/complex illustrations? idk. it’s tough, I want to post more because I like posting art on the internet. I grew up watching other people post art on the internet and wanting to do the same. there’s a lot of artists who don’t like it but its fun to me. unfortunately this whole year has kind of been like a non-posting year tho.
26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended
25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by
Uhhhh this is tough idk. I think I’ve gotten like...ava’s demon before?
Which doesn’t make a lot of sense to me looking at the style alone but does like...make sense in the way that I think I share similar cultural inspirations with that comic like...being online in the mid 2000s...deviantart digital art type stuff. So even if there isn’t any direct inspiration there’s some shared dna probably.
I think I’ve hard art compared to transistor (the supergiant game) too and I think its like. a similar story there. Heck, If i drew more sexy characters my inking tendencies would probably get my art compared to hades just with how big that art style is culturally rn.too bad i only draw dumb looking kids.
I’ve never played a supergiant game. they look very nice and I rly respect them as a company but they’ve yet to make smth that’s really up my alley.
(unrelated but tumblr user wellnoe I’m a huge fan of ur art you have one of the biggest brains in xmen fanart imo...!! thanks for sending in an ask LOL ;-;;;)
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imma be honest - other than exo and got7 (mostly the 3rd gen bg's) boy groups nowadays aren't really my type. nct used to have an amazing array of songs, so much talent (especially with Mark and taeyong and ten, DONT GET ME STARTWD ON WAYV ARGHHH) but fuckkkk now with their new sound like sticker - it's driving me batshit insane. its just plain not doing for me unfortunately
usually when I hear a song, I prioritise coherence and good grammar, which most songs nowadays don't really have - new jeans, twice and stay c !!!!!!! arghhhh they really hit the nail so well !!!!! ALONG WITH G-IDLE TOO !!! GYU I MISS SOOJIN SO MUCH TBH !!!!! ahhh my kpop era was definitely a little cringy but auahahahah there were so many good memories there! 💗
waaaaah i agree with you on basically everything here wow ! i can't say much for got7 since i've never really taken the time to listen to their stuff, but exo reallyy has a superior discography idc what anybody says ! i've seen ppl compare them to bts and other groups and i'm always just like ? ? no hate to bts ! their older stuff is good ngl, but exo are literally on a league of their own lmao, there's no other way to put it yk.
and aaaaah i def get what you mean abt nct ! ! i've been a sticker + 2 baddies enjoyer since day one lmao but i have no problem in admitting that their discography has def seen better days ! ! nct as a whole has been so mismanaged lately it's insane :/ sungchan + shotaro debuted two years ago and are stil unitless. i think they're gonna debut soon in a new unit with the smrookies, but even then idk how much i actually like that idea bc although i really freaking want to see those two finally get under the spotlight, i can't help but wonder if a new unit won't just make everything worst ! mark + haechan haven't stopped since 2020 between dream & 127 schedules, nct 127 went basically one entire year without a comeback and had what ? two weeks of promotions ? once they finally got one ? i'm not even gonna talk about the fact that wayv haven't had any comebacks since early 2021 and we're still waiting to know if they'll continue as 6 or as 7 or what the heck is gonna happen with them in general. it makes me so mad seeing all these guys with so much potential and talent get left behind AND BY SM OF ALL COMPANIES ! you'd think such a big company would be exactly the one to be able to handle such a huge project but ig not.
boy groups in general but specially 4th gen ones i feel like have been leaning sm towards the noise music lane lately and although there's a select few that do it kind of alright, most of them are basically just making fans drift away from them. that's why i think all these girl groups have been doing so well ! their sound is experimental in it's own way and they all have their own vibe, but that just goes to show that you can do something new that will separate you from others while still producing good music. newjeans got where they are bc their sound was something new, (g)-idle try so many concepts and still manage to do amazing every time, ive, le sserafim, stayc ALL OF THEM have something unique that sets them apart but their music is still good and liked by most people, unlike what we've seen with boy groups yk — they'll have something that sets them apart but not for the best of reasons lmao.
kpop has been so insane lately and i honestly wonder why i haven't given up on it completely yet bc this industry is absolutely too much lmao. there's so many gems in it but companies nowadays only care abt money and, maybe without realizing, all they're doing is ruining their groups. we need more good music, not tiktok tunes and challenges AND VERY MUCH NOT US VALIDATION ! although i think it's great that 4th gen is so focused on making kpop a global genre instead of it having such a limited audience, i also think it's so stupid to have topping on the us charts as your main goal. idk maybe i'm wrong for this but it's just what i've been noticing as someone who has kind of been just listening to kpop and looking at it from afar instead of actually being super engrossed in the fandoms yk
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Doing my OC I just realized... they are so freaking depressed JESUS CHRIST A LITTLE SMILE DOESN'T HURT ANYONE
KAJSJDD YEAH IVE HAD THAT HAPPEN
one of my OCs, jessica, needs so much therapy. she’s a cheerful person, even if she’s sometimes mildly sarcastic. she’s very much a mom friend, and always wants to make sure her friends are thriving
the thing is though, she’s had a heaping spoonful of horrible events. she put up with her birth parents abusing each other for i wanna say eight years? and then her birth mother murdered her birth father in front of her
after that, she was put in the foster system before being adopted by her dads eric and jeremiah. she was now a sister, with an older sister named amanda and a younger sister named louise
the eldest was not happy with having jessica in the family. she viewed jessica as a threat and treated her as such. jessica, having previously been an only child, doesn’t know how to deal with sibling abuse. she honestly thinks it’s normal
after a while, eric and jeremiah adopt a new little girl named ellie. now jessica is nervous, because what if amanda treats ellie the same way? she doesn’t want ellie getting hurt
she finally tells her dads what amanda has been doing and they all decide to have a family meeting. amanda was behaving the way she was due to her protective nature when it comes to louise. louise was abused by her previous family, especially her sister, and amanda knows how much it affected her. so whenever jessica got close to louise, amanda would lash out
through therapy, amanda was able to realize she was projecting her worries onto someone who would never hurt louise, and she had become an abuser herself
jessica also went to therapy, but wouldn’t open up to her therapist because she had trust issues with adults (at this point, she still doesn’t know if she trusts her dads, and they’ve been her dads for at least a year at this point, probably longer) (i don’t have an exact timeline made so idk)
and nowadays? she refuses to acknowledge negativity. she’s an optimist by force. she feels that as long as she sees the positive, everything will be relatively okay, and she doesn’t need to acknowledge the negative
so basically she’s in dire need of therapy from someone she can trust </3
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🐍/ every day i think of some new gross thing u said to me when i was young that ive been kicking around for 5 years. you don’t deserve the amount of love & care i still have for u, probably above anyone else. u need to stop bothering me and romanticizing me and making shit harder on me bc u have no idea who i am. the last time u talked to me i was 17. u literally have no fucking clue who i am as a person & u don’t rlly want me & more importantly u don’t deserve me or anybody like me. cute that u kept everything bc i have probably 5 things left from everything u ever gave me, me & o burned most of ur clothes. should’ve donated that rlly nice sweater actually but i was livid. emailing me on vday & then turning me away when i was dumb and lonely enough to want to speak to u again was like shooting me in the stomach, i feel like you’re the one who abandoned me and u keep doing it over and over again. u shouldn’t even be part of this post bc by 20 I shouldn’t have heard from u twice. u have ur own life. we didn’t make one together. go live it
🦊/ thankfully i have no way of ever seeing or hearing from u again. fuck u for staying in contact with my abuser. fuck you for having to hear how severely i was abused b4 you’d block her despite being my closest friend. how could you repeat so many things that id already heard, be so callous & manipulative & lie to me about so many things. what im most hurt by is ur willingness to turn into the person who hurt me worst in the whole world and how that made me feel afterwards, like i physically feel like im encased in wax all the time, no interest in anything but highly idealized fantasies, no belief that other people actually value or want me besides their projections. it’s been over a year and I feel physically disgusting and detached from the regular experiences of a young person bc of what u did to me & how u treated me. you are so incredibly slimy and nasty and i can’t even properly type out what all i wish i could say. i can’t believe i spent months crying or feeling nauseous every time i saw something as simple as a tiktok abt drug use but u probably haven’t thought of me or what you did to me for a year. it doesn’t rlly matter bc it’s better for everybody if we just forget the whole thing, but it brings me immense satisfaction to know how much of a liar you are. im just so glad we’re separated from one another so i can slowly repair my insides, though if i ever got an apology from you somehow, i really think i could let go easier. that probably will never happen because you’d believe, coward that you are, that i wouldn’t appreciate that apology & that it made u a better person to not give it to me. again, fine. i wish we had never gotten close, it was such a waste of time and life
♠️/ short one! u were creepy af to me but u felt like my closest friend after all that shit went down & i was having hypomania/was totally unbalanced & fucked up. wanting to come see me was a red flag. hitting on me all the time was a red flag. involving me in decisions regarding my ex who was ur friend throughout ur teenhood was a red flag, telling me my insistence about protecting her would kill her, um, enormous red flag. the jokes abt fucking me, the only txting me nowadays to tell me I’m attractive, & then calling what id been thru redundant & saving face in front of ur gf like u hadn’t been paling around w me about my interests/issues already & hadn’t demonstrated that u were cool w them. it hurt me to lose u a lot more than i thought, and it still hurts, bc u really betrayed me. what did i expect from one of her friends, i guess? nobody was good to me after that shit went down. I thought u were my friend.
♣️/ even shorter: fuck you, you’re a dumbass & ur priorities are so? unnecessary & apathetic
🌪/ this controversy hasn’t cooled off enough to rlly dig into it but ur also a liar and a damn coward, ill be getting to you shortly
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this past episode of the good wife i watched yesterday had so much in it on so many levels..
main story of the episode made me burst out crying multiple times it was just really really horrific
i have so much fun with how cary and kalindas dynamic has evolved now that hes working for the states attorneys office. and also love the juxtaposition of his constant more-bitter-and-angry smirk nowadays as a changed guy with in this episode it showing him still doing stupid immature just out of college white guy type shit lol
i love grace she is just such a realistically written middle schooler to me and her asking alicia to let her go to a christian youth group retreat because her friend is going is so funny to me i got invited (and went to) so many of those as a non-protestant christian middle schooler just bc as a weirdo middle schooler, kinda weirdo christian middle schoolers in the midwest will either only know how to socialize through that or will see you as a project they need to invite to that stuff lol. throughout this season so far ive been like. omg. grace leftist arc??? but i guess maybe there is instead (or also?) a grace christian arc lol.. fascinating
and also. sorry. but im just still so kalicia brained its kind of crazy. they literally hang out drinking right next to each other on alicias bed this episode..... kalinda is like 'sorry, i'll let you get back to your life and alicia gestures to kalindas coat laid out on her bed saying 'no, this is part of my life'. its fucking crazy out here
also while kalinda is all cozy in alicias bed once alicia tries to ask her whats happening she says in such vague and evasive terms but still opening up for the first time that she didnt like her life before so she changed it. like ok john silver...
#cpost#tgw blogging#bs blogging#i guess i will always come back to 1. kalinda and alicia homoeroticism 2. kalinda john silver and max black sails parallels its inevitable
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words of a stem student:
"Why should you go into STEM?"
well the plain and simple answer is that
you should stop.
too harsh of a statement? got the bold font and everything but its more complicated than just "no"
let me explain.
okay. so
STEM
what a thing, huh? people try and make it out to be such a huge achievement if you were to pursue in school and that only the smartest of the smart can study it.
"you should go into stem, being a doctor pays really well... (Indeed.com, 2023)"
"you should go into stem. itll give you more opportunities in the future (Bukas.ph, 2022)"
you hear talk of stem being where the cream of the crop is, and where the most money can be found. its often the golden child of strands among the forgotten middle children of abm and humms.
nowadays, youll find every parent clamoring to get their child into stem; no blame onto them, given the whopping demand for stem-related jobs in the market, nowadays (Albert, et al., 2020)
a lot of parents try and influence their child to go into stem purely because it's what would get them a brighter future, and purely because of the potential money that stem-related jobs are able to get.
well, in order to get there, you first need to slog through the circuit that is the STEM strand in the first place. It is considered to be one of the most academically challenging strands to take (Gobir, 2022).
Not only that but due to the heavy demand for workers who are skilled in STEM subjects, competition is high amongst students as they each try their best to do well in stem; evident in how group work is so effective in students' learning (Rusk, 2019).
so you sit there, twiddling your thumbs and daydreaming about just how successful you could be if you pursued a course in stem. whether that may be the result of your own family influencing you, or if you just think itll be the smart thing to do.
the hard truth is that if you're not prepared to face the challenges that come with studying stem then chances are that you will
HATE
it.
And dont take this wrong. im sure that a lot of you who may be reading this are more than capable of pursuing a career in stem. its just that the grandeur of hearing those four letters may start waning on you once the
horrors
set in.
let me tell you my story.
There i was, but a wee lad in elementary thinking about what i should pursue later in life. I had big dreams of moving abroad and doing something with my forte in mathematics. my parents suggested that i go to the school im at now, since this is a school that specializes in stem and a school that they themselves want to go. i figured that id join since of course what reason would i have to doubt my parents (mistake)
and there i was, coming into the stem strand, blissfully ignorant on just how tough it could be.in my head i thought that itd be just like what i went through in junior high school but *B O Y* did i stand corrected.
only a few months in and the number of hours ive slept this week can be counted on my two hands.
the number of experiments, tests and projects i have had to do is astonishing.
it feels like I was jumped in an alley with the amount of workload piled on top of me in such a short amount of time.
now you may be wondering
"damn op is stem really this bad?"
and to that my dear reader i return to the top of the post to go
yes.
and studies have been taken to show that there are others out there, who are studying stem, who also feel with me. feel the stress as deadlines creep closer. the anxiety of studying for a test you're unsure of. the emptiness and depression when you feel like you cant handle it anymore (Pester, et al., 2023).
HOWEVER
despite all of the hardships; despite all the empty cups of coffee; despite all the times i thought about how nice my face would look on a funeral wreath
i stayed
because its what my parents told me?
no.
because its the most popular choice?
no.
because of the pay?
maybe.
its because i love stem.
plain and simple.
I love learning about how the world around me works.
I love each lesson where I get to be taught something I didn't know before.
I love getting the first-hand-hands-on experience with doing research.
love studying with friends.
I love the effort our teachers put into allowing us to learn.
You can't get the scratch needed to sooth the itch you have for new knowledge anywhere else besides STEM.
And I know that many people wouldn't even join stem if not for their own personal love for the subject.
I know that the subject of STEM is not for everyone. I know that better than I ever did before. I know that this strand is not for everyone and that not everyone should join just because of pressure from society and others.
It takes a special kind of love for STEM. a kind of desire to keep on learning and to change the world with your capabilities.
And if you don't feel this way, there are other options. Don't feel as though you just have to join the stem strand because you think its the best option.
what really matters is that you enjoy the things that you're doing, income or societal expectations be damned.
despite all the hurdles you need to cross, you'll still come out with the same wonder in your eyes that got you hooked on the subject you're studying in the first place.
so as i end this prose that has gone on for WAY too damn long
i give my words to all future stem applicants; not as a scornful student looking down at stem
but as someone who wants you to look into yourself and think about what you want in life.
so if you're thinking of going into STEM
you should stop.
take a moment to think about it. dont let the pressure sink in and just float calmly in the waters.
...
...
...
...
...
still here? well, that probably means that
just like me. you know the trials and tribulations youll need to endure in order to pursue a career in stem. you know just how hard it will be and you know that youll stay
Maybe its because you know that it pays well
Maybe its because you want to use your skills for science to change the world.
what matters is that you persevered. and while others may quit from all the stress, you stayed
because you love the subject. because you know that STEM is the right choice for you.
References:
Albert, J.R., et al. (2020). Future S&T. Human Resources Requirements in the Philippines: A Labor Market Analysis. https://www.pids.gov.ph/publication/discussion-papers/future-s-t-human-resource-requirements-in-the-philippines-a-labor-market-analysis
Virtudazo, J.M. (2012). Determinants of Senior High School Tracks and Strands Inclination of Grade 10 Students of Buenavista II.
Pester, C.W., et al. (2023). On the Importance of Mental Health in STEM.
Indeed.com (2022). Your Guide to 15, of the Highest-Paying STEM Jobs. https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/highest-paying-stem-jobs
Bukas.ph (2022). Careers You Can Pursue If You Took STEM Strand In Senior High School. https://bukas.ph/blog/careers-you-can-pursue-if-you-took-stem-strand-in-senior-high-school/
Rusk, F. & Rønning, W. (2019). Group work as an arena for learning in STEM education: negotiations of epistemic relationships.
#stem#stemblr#student#school project#is this necessary?#idk anymore#science#i did this instead of sleeping#ramblings of a madman
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the v v v first time i saw ur acct was when u had the yeonjun prive alliance layout ^3^ those reincarnation aus made me saur emo T^T
i luv that for u agghh<3 not that there's anything wrong w it,but i find it most satisfying when ppl get into kpop from kpop-genre songs rather than western-sounding kpop songs lol my first kpop artists were b2st (highlight) and t-ara hehe
mhm yea mayybbe! i know 100% why i don't post them and its cos i used to be consistent w posting on both kpop & personal socmed accts but mental health happens and i kinda stopped bc numbers make me want 2 cry lmfao
except im slightly less mentally ill since that time now and yk i actually genuinely do rlly want to start all my socmed accts up again but im putting it off bc im a bit of a perfectionist and so im lazy to be doing all dat... all of nothin :D don't call the orderly i'm fine ^_^ /lh
2019-21? ah probably not then i'm pretty sure i was in and out of the school roster (pls tell me if i am oversharing/trauma dumping/crossing any boundaries bc i genuinely do not know i no longer have any social skills T_T /gen /srs)
hm i'm not sure tbh i only followed the one 😭😭 i haven't been on wattpad in a long ass time and i remember i tried seeing what wattpad was like nowadays and was v disappointed w the ads and paid stuff (i think i don't remember). booooo 👎👎
omg wait that's so cool aaaaah!!! i changed my user a lot so i honestly could not tell u bc i have goldfish memory ;__; i do remember i had a user like taempons(_) i think it had an underscore idk don't remember but i changed it (kinda wish i saved it ngl) and oh one i do remember was peachyjihoons (my wannaone phase lmao) but yeah im pretty sure my most recent user was some based on some tumblr shit like svnshine or something idfk 💀💀
u are already a talented writer save some for the rest of us 👺 /j if u could also draw u would be too powerful 👁️👄👁️
omg THAT WAS MY FIRST LAYOUT TOO!! this account isn't that old tbh i still haven't gotten the feel of writing smuts as of yet that's why i havent been much active on it BUT WAIT REINCARNATION AU?!? from my main???
DUDE I LOVE B2ST!!!! and t-ara!!!!!!!! i really got into kpop slowly because i fell for kdrama at first (found replay in one of the kdrama edit lmao) so like my music journey has been very, very kpop ish. i think the global influence in most of kpop songs started to become mroe prominent during 2018?
bro i get you like the fear of starting the stuff you love because you feel like you won't be able to give it all and starting it and feeling it like you're gonna disappoint yourself. i hadn't started anything since like 2017 until recently because i was scared i was gonna stumble, or it won't be good ( well mostly that) or i won't be able to finish that. me and my bff still has this one project we started around like 2018 lmao we both still haven't finished it or picked it up bc we developed the idea sm and got so close to it that we fear writing it now.
not OVERSHARINH I WANNA KNOW!!! NO but like FR wattpad went through the biggest glow down IVE EVer seen like. it's legit LEGIT inhabitable. like at first you take away the newsfeed?!? like how am i gonna pine over other accounts now?!? and then everything became paid and shit like wtf is that?!
omg i wonder if I ever saw you on my explore page or tags bro fr this is so interesting my ig handle has always been one tbh it's @celestialsoo ( my intense love affair with kyungsoo era) like since the dawn of the day.
YOU LIE!!!!! i wish i could fr draw tho i want to draw my muses :///
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i wasn’t using it as a gotcha but trying to point out the fact that people don’t actually seem care about the underlying issue but instead they’re using it as a reason to justify being hateful towards dream when they probably never liked or cared about them in the first place. i’m not defending what jn / js / cl or whoever said what but at the same time ppl are just using this as an excuse to project onto 5dream . like i literally saw someone on this website complain about js’s “selective activism” bc ig he sent some message on bbl about choosing to not wear balenciaga after their recent controversy but he never said anything about what he said to hc . which like 1 how do they know even know that the international fans reaction to what he said to hc got back to him and 2 his bbl msg doesn’t align with their narrative that 5dream are shitty ppl so instead of just not saying anything about it they had to accuse him of selective activism ?? this is just one example but ive continuously seen ppl say stuff like this / imply 5dream are bad people. that’s why i pointed out that others have done similar things too. not to defend them but to point out the fact that if they really truly cared about these things they’d hold their favs to the same standard instead of projecting onto groups they specifically do not like and saying deranged things about them
ohh i didn’t think /you/ were the one using it as a ‘gotcha’, i was just commenting on the fact that there are people who do and use it in fan wars - u just made the statement and i didn’t think u were going for a gotcha moment! anw while i agree with your overall idea that those fans who focus their outrage solely on dream are wrong, i think that pointing that others have done it too is not the way to go either and that’s also showing nonchalance over the specific issue. you’re right in saying that some fans use these issues to hate on dream without actually caring, but i think that pointing out the past is not a solid argument. i think that these situations should be taken with more nuance and not use them as a way to justify hating someone, but i get that a lot of people nowadays have such a black and white view of everything that this might be asking for too much
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was talking to a friend last night abt how i’ve written like 200k+ words about lucy and they were like “how do you like. do all that” and i was like “brain problems :)”
#del gets personal#i also wrote a lot of Other fallout fanfic at the time#nowadays ive got other projects#carnifex is in a doc thats about 34k words#pheo and oz are about 32k#i feel like the answer being 'brain problems' becomes obviosu when you look at the actual content i write#if i was normal i think id write normal stuff. romance. adventure stories with minimal cannibalism by the main characters. popular fandoms#and frankly id write less of it
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Huh. I've had so much inspiration for drawing lately, and felt so weird not being able to make them since i don't have a working tablet yet. I wish i could afford one of those screen-things that you draw directly to, but they're expensiveeeee i just dropped my extra money from the short period of work i had into a pc component bundle and replaced my broken microwave, i cant keep buying electronics shdjfng my old tv is beginning to act out too aaaaa what is this timing
Once i have spare money i'll just get a tiny tablet like my previous one, those are afforable even if still a lot of money. I could try to advertise my commissions a bit better to save up for a screen someday lmao who knows
I should also finish building the pc first before my laptop gives out but hnngh there are so many things on my breaking-soon-pls-replace list. One at a time i guess.
#sheep rambles#im just rambling cause i'm eternally bored nowadays with no idea what to do with my time other than play games so i just sleep#i should continue my writing projects those should sate the creativity need for a bit#creative projects get me out of bed and lately im just sleeping all the time bc ive got nothing concrete to do and thus no reason to get up#im just yelling into the void to make plans for budgeting shhh#cause i'm tired of having no outlet for my ideas and im tired of sleeping till 2pm no matter when i go to bed shdkfkg#i can wake up early and then just have no reason to get up until it gets embarrassingly late and that forces me up#i certainly yell at myself to just get out of bed but lo and behold it doesnt happen#if i lay in bed long enough after waking i just fall back asleep and it's not great cause then it's suddenly 3h later#and then if i still dont get up it just happens again#i have endless resources for sleep apparently
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this is super soft but can i request something where the reader doesn’t have a lot of experience and her and harry agree to take things slowly? there’s so much pressure nowadays and physical stuff makes me anxious haha🤍🤍 totally okay if u cant/don’t want to! ly :)
love this idea bc I also don’t have much experience so i may be projecting here lolololol. ANYWAYS! Kinda made me my mini series called “Cant Help But Love Him”! I really hope this is kinda what you were thinking and you like it! Thank you so much for requesting 💕
Inexperienced
Harry and Y/N have been together now for just over two months, having known each other for a year and a half before that they both completely loved and trusted each other. They meet through a mutual friend, Y/N was a bit younger and instantly intimated by Harry while he was entranced by her instantly.
When he asked her out the first time (and even still to this day), she cutely blushed and anxiously agrees, finding it hard to believe that he even wanted to spend time with her.
That leads to where they are now, an uncountable amount of dates later, sitting on the floor in Harry’s living room as they sat eating pizza after their night out at a much too fancy work cocktail party, the pair leaving early and ordering the pizza on their way home.
Y/N changed out of her gown, borrowing a pair of Harry’s big t-shirts and leaving on the spandex she had underneath as he sat across from her in a pair of sweats and his white tank undershirt.
“You like the shake? That bloody machine is always broken when we go there.” He chuckled, nodding toward the homemade chocolate milkshake she gripped with both hands.
She let out a soft giggle, eyes wide as she nodded with the straw between her lips. He smirked, staring at her as the girl happily dipped in the shake, eyes closing as she lets out a soft ‘mmmm’.
He slowly scooted closer to her, licking his lips as he stared at hers, his thumb raising to the girls lips and wiping away some of the leftover residue, staring down deep into her eyes. He could see the girls chest rise and falls shakily, licking her own lips as she watched him put his thumb into his mouth quickly.
“Need a better taste.” He barley spoke, smashing his lips onto hers in an instant, cupping her face with both hands.
Y/N was surprised by his sudden move, shakily setting down the milkshake before her arms go around him, tangling in his hair, letting out a soft whimper as she feels his tongue slip into her mouth and she instantly grants him access.
He suddenly grips her thighs, lifting her up and having her legs wrap around his waist as he also stands, knocking over her milkshake in the process.
“Harry!” She exclaimed, throwing her head back laughing before lifting her head back up to look at him, “put me down we need to get that cleaned up.”
“I need you.”
He leaned forward, his perfect, pink lips attaching to her neck and sponging soft kiss on the bare skin, arms right around her waist as he continued walking to his bedroom, Y/N’s heart starting to beat out of her chest.
Tell him. She was screaming in her head, tell him it’s okay. Harry won’t be mad. He’d understand.
He kicked the door open and close in an instant, connect their lips before separating them lay her down on the bed, a sly smirk on his face as he stared down at her, slipping his shirt over his head before starting to hover over her.
He gripped her face in one hand, pressing their lips together and Y/N tried to focus on his lips, his warm skin. Everything is okay. She was telling herself, it’s Harry! Just do it! Tell him the trut-
“Wait.” She chokes out, eyes already welling up with tears as embarrassment and fear filled her, “I-I’m sorry, Harry- I can’t-“
“No, fuck I shouldn’t have moved so fast I’m sorry-“ he rambled, quickly moving and sitting next to her, “I’m sorry... why are you crying, baby I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you- fuck... I really am-“
“I’m a Virgin.” She admits, ripping the bandaid off completely, “like, completely. I haven’t, umm. I haven’t really done anything...not really, I mean really...nothing.”
“Nothing?”
She nods, confirming his thoughts and his blank stare of surprise remained glued on his face, making Y/N rub her eyes to try to calm down before standing, planning to head to the living room to clean up the mess and go home.
Harry quickly grabs her hand, pulling her back to him, surprised to have run into his hard chest rather than falling back on the bed. She slowly looked up at him, a loose curly strand falling in her face that Harry quickly tuck behind her ear, a sympathetic smile slowly covering his face.
“You leaving?” He softly asked, wiping a stray tear on her cheek, “I truly am so sorry if I made you uncomfortable or pressured you, that was never my intention. You are so important to me. Whenever your ready, no matter how long it takes.”
“You never have, Ive just been so happy I didn’t know what you were going to say... or if you would even have wanted me stay.” She admitted, cuddling herself into his warm skin, “it just makes me feel so silly. You’re like the sexiest man alive and I’m just some inexperienced girl who somehow got you...”
“Ya think I’m sexy?” He smirked, digging his fingers into her sides.
“Shut up!”
Harry heart flutter as he heard her laugh, grabbing her wrists as he went to push his chest, gripping them and pulling her close and quickly throwing her over his shoulder, spinning around a few times before having them both fall on his bed, the pairs laughing loudly and leaning into one another.
She softly leaned in and quickly pecked his lips before burying her face in the crook of his neck, snuggling into him as his arms go tight around her.
“Lets take things slow, okay?” He whispered softly in her ear, “I really, really like you and I don’t wanna rush into anything, we’re gonna do whatever you feel comfortable with. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost ya.”
“But, Id hate to... deprive you.” She blushed, shyly looking back up at him with a red face, “don’t want you to grow to hate me for making you wait o-or go to somebody else... just because I’m not ready yet.”
“I’m not gonna hate you. Never could.” He whispered, kissing her forehead, “and absolutely could never even think about being with anybody else. If you knew how much I liked you I think I’d scare you away.”
She shook her head in disbelief, wondering how she got to be the luckiest human being in the world to be able to have him. She quickly pressed her lips onto his, fingers tangling in his hair.
“I do like kissing you.” She whispered, innocently looking up into his eyes, “Really, really love kissing you... that doesn’t scare me. Can we just do that?”
“Fuck yeah.” He chuckled, smashing his lips quickly onto hers, gripping at her sides as his tongue slides into her mouth.
“Wait!” She squeaked, pulling back and giggling as she saw his eyes still closed with puckered lips for a moment before opening them back up, cheeks pink after realizing, “the milkshake! It’s gonna destroy your rug!”
“It’s a stupid rug.” He muttered, pecking her lips rapidly making her laugh, “I’ll get a new one.”
#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#harry styles smut#harry styles imagines #harry styles imagine#harry styles blurb#harry styles drabble#harry styles one shot#harry styles x reader#harry styles headcannon
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do you think dan will ever come back?? yes or no
welcome to my essay. the tldr is no.
honest to god i dont think anyone knows what hes doing. i think he wants to move away from youtube and work on more charity/of platform projects, but doesnt want to completely close the door for youtube all together. this would make sense from a glance, but if you break it down and think about the execution (which we're living in, so not much to think about L), it really just doesnt work as a legitimate career move. in order to sell books, post videos, release merch, or anything independent and monetary really, you need an audience who is willing to buy it. dan did have this. dan and phils community had some of the most dedicated people that honestly would buy anything if it had dan and phils name on it. they would watch any content that had dan and phil in it. this, for the both of them, could make really good charity opportunities possible (if they wanted to, at least). this fandom was also already used to content droughts, which would have made planning larger projects possible if more time was needed. the thing is, nowadays, this net base of people arent really around anymore. what dan failed on was presence. he simply wasnt around much. and when the public figure isnt public, the audience doesnt particularly have a reason to care anymore. its difficult, because you want to think that no matter what happens, youll always be supporting content creators you like, but the reality is: people lose interest. ive been in this fandom for about 6 years. the way this fandom functioned (and any stable fandom) is that for every person that lost interest and left, another person gained interest and joined. however, when theres more people joining than leaving, the fandom has to change policing tactics and accommodate them to the culture (some fandoms more than others) (this one especially). its common for young fandoms to go through this, and it makes them really unstable.
on the other hand, you have whats happening here. more people are losing interest and leaving than people are gaining interest and joining. the result is a lack of a reliable loyal net base of people, and an abundance (in phils case) of unreliable casual viewers likely getting exposure to the videos through their recommends (though we know phil was never one to care for the algorithm). this could be bad news for him as no one likes to rely on the algorithm. so lets say a video doesnt make it into the algorithm for whatever reason, he doesnt have that net base of people who regularly consume his content. the video fails and he doesnt make money. phil needs to work on building an engaged audience. i will come back to this.
so dan. he doesnt have a reliable audience buying his stuff no matter what hes selling anymore. his most recent book was very poorly received by most viewers. now, ive been here for two other book drops. i was here for the amazing book is not on fire and dan and phil go outside. tabinof was very well received because it was during the time when youtubers were pretending they could write books and everyone was excited that dan and phil got to make something tangible. it was coming right out of the bbc radio and and before they were announcing their first tour. things were really exciting, and people were ready to go broke to supoort them (or make their parents go broke with the average age range for the time) (we could also factor that but perhaps later). so what was the book everyone was so excited about? i mean..... it was very dan and phil. for the youtuber books coming out at the time, i would argue that its one of the better ones. its colorful and fun. its very on brand and does not pretend to be anything profound or otherwise something its not. it was just a fun sort of totem to everything theyve achieved thus far. but it really is just their videos in book form. not really anything more than that. dapgo (dan and phil go outside) was a photobook (yes, just pictures and pictures only) that they released that worked as sort of behind the scenes of their first tour. yes, they had Instagrams. yes, this book cost an arm and a leg. yes, people got excited and bought it and never complained or questioned what they were buying. for their second tour, they did use instagram stories for these photos. but could you imagine if they tried to charge us for pictures today? hell. that is what we would see, friend.
so what the ever loving fuck does all of that have to do with dans new book now? well, his book is sane and had effort, and yet it was met with resistance. in case you didnt read it, heres my official review: its fine. its very mental health 101. im sure if youve never stopped to care about your mental health once youd get something out of it, but i would never call it "therapy" or anything like that. to be fair, dan never did, the fanbase did. our bad. its sane, no red flags or particularly bad advice. you could tell he definitely relied on a professional for the meditation bits (which as a buddhist i found very amusing). but overall, a perfectly normal book. not profound, but also not necessarily bad. yet the fandom treated it like it was dans worst career move on the planet. to be honest, i dont think people ever cared that dan wrote a book at all, let alone its contents. people were upset about dans actual problem that is closing every single door he wants to keep open right now.
dan doesnt have a presence, and dan doesnt communicate where content is or when it will release. unexplained hiatuses, vague low effort tweets here and there, lack of public content, it all kind of stirs together into this sort of nothingness. its very easy to lose interest. dan has lost virtually all of his net base audience. so whenever be does upload, he relies on the algorithm? the algorithm doesnt take to those who upload once every two years. he only really has a chance at making collaborations on his youtube channel (such as the youtube pride), but he'll have to rely on them to promote for him. we saw youtube pride did not do this very well for him. but the video still did okay though right? it failed miserably. it didnt even break a million views (or at least when the view count was still visible) (its not anymore btw i looked) (didnt want to spread slander and lies, but as it turns out theres no point anymore). just scroll down for a while and look at older content. do this for phil, too. that was that reliable net base of people coming and watching every single video.
this is really closing the door for dan as far as youtube goes, and since thats his reputation and audience, its closing the door for other public projects. i dont think thats his intention, but i dont think he can fix it, at least quickly or easily. so in short, no i dont think dan will be able to make a tangible comeback. i will revist why this upsets me, lets cut to commercial break.
our commercial break: phil. specifically how he can regrow an audience. what it seems like he realizes is that videos that contain dan get SIGNIFICANTLY more views. this is understandable given the circumstances, but i dont think its smart for phil to lean on dan right now. i think he needs to reevaluate why the gaming channel worked. heres a hint, its not really because of joint content. the gaming channel provided two things: 1) variety; dan and phil each individually produced very different styles of content. the gaming channel provided content that everyone in the community could enjoy as gaming content is a very safe form of easy content. 2) presence; again, EASY CONTENT. the gaming channel was able to push out content faster than dan and phil could on their seperate channels. it was also helped that they were also doing liveshows every week at the time. no matter what was going on, we always saw them once a week somewhere. phil (and i cannot emphasize this enough, IN MY OPINION) really should move away from joint content and focus more on solo variety. its really the best way for him to build up a newer audience for his own INDEPENDENT brand. which i believe is more important for him right now. branching out and having multiple platforms would also be a great way for him to reach a larger audience. now, i know youre probably following me and thinking to yourself, "dante, you have an agenda and phils never going to follow it, you fool." well, hes the fool. i want him to look me in the eyes and tell me why streaming gaming on twitch is a bad idea. it would fix all of his problems. trust me bro, im basically a guru. no seriously, hes been sitting on a partnered twitch account for, like, five fucking years, man. (REAL) you can search for it on twitch its very there still. i am destroyed and emotionally wrecked. please.
oh yeah, why dan pisses me off. ok. so, hes an activist that works with charities. and he has a platform to boost the presence of these charities. and he doesnt use them. i am now in a seperate fandom, to be honest. i will now use this other content creator as an example of the potential of platform and presence. one streamer i like did a charity stream about a month ago for charity water. in a 16 hour stream (which isnt realistic for dan or phil but hold on), he raised $325k dollars. earlier this year like around February (i think?), for a significantly shorter stream, he raised over $100k for the trevor project. i will now reveal to you that this streamer is FUCKING 17 YEARS OLD. but the thing is, he knows how to do his job and he does it well. he understands how he can make money. 1) he hyped up the stream the stream which meant he had to communicate not only that there was going to be one ahead of time, but also be present to talk about it with his audience. 2) he did plenty of variety on the stream to attract a broader arrange of viewers and 3) because of networking, friends and other acquaintances were able to loyally vouch for the stream (something dan and phil never really had, but i suppose it makes sense why) (i will remain neutral on this point, and i advise to not let it distract from the conversation). basically, i disagree with the more traditional path dan has taken as an activist. he has this massive platform, and yet we never really see the work he does. his platform gives him so many opportunities to do so many great things that he believes in, but he never took advantage of any of it.
im not too sure what hes up to now, but i cant imagine itll be public content, and if it is, it likely wont be as successful as he would hope. i just dont think well be seeing him as a public figure much anymore, and if phil were smart, hed be seeing him that way too sooner rather than later.
note: i may skim this but i just spent several hours typing it up. i will not proofread in a way that matters. i also have auto capitalization off, and thats a lot of manual capitalizing i dont want to do. i do hope this a) gives you something to chew on but b) starts a broader coversation because i see a lot of conversation around dan take the wrong angle almost every time. like, we have the same conclusions, just different angles. i also didnt add age and variety of the audience because id rather someone older add onto that. like, im a college student now, but im still pretty young and was very young when i joined this fandom. i also called it fandom and not phandom because i love myself. anyway, good day to you. have this meme.
#thoughts of dante#asks of dante#dan and phil#as you can see anon#i had a lot to get off my chest#i hope this will suffice for an answer
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ask meme. what if. patching up. no I still haven’t seen source material
the way i completely forgot about this ask until i wrote like two paragraphs in this and was like oh shit lmao
the source material is getting an hbo series bb you're in luck also ignore anna whatever as tess yes i respect her as an actress yes she is talented in a bunch of things i have not seen but ms annie wersching is the only tess in my heart and also if i have to endure tess being reduced to a powerbitch stereotype i will start foaming at the mouth. but also i have no feelings about this whatsoever <3
WHAT IF: i will pick an important choice or event in my current project and write three sentences (or more?) about if it’d gone done differently
hmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMm
this is hard because i kind of had a stupid amount of confidence in the decisions i had them make in this and because i have ~a lot of experience~ in flying by the seat of my pants with writing lmaooooo a lot of the time with this ive had some degree of foresight when it comes to certain plot decisions. the only reason i have this in the first place is that with other things ive had kind of sort of plot revelations and then been like "well if i'd set that up three chapters ago it would have a huge impact i think but instead i guess it's just going in this one for a smaller impact" so i think i learned my lesson haha. also because this pairing nowadays has a small and sparse tag i really intentionally put in stuff to make it interesting (maybe the wrong word) to reread. like not Interesting interesting but i wanted there to be certain details that are more relevant on a reread than on an initial read because whenever i read stuff in small tags i tend to read it Multiple Times lmaoooooo and it's like if anyone like me is out there I Will Feed You. I Will Give You Food. you see i have this problem in which im like i dont want to act like i put thought into this because That's Embarrassing and i also dont want to seem like i take this too seriously because That's Embarrassing and also i dont want to act uppity or pompous or something But At The Same Time i do put a lot of thought into certain things and i feel like mentioning that and i dont really want to judge myself for that. it's complicated but also super uncomplicated. where was i going with this
OH right. so most of the plot decisions were made super concretely. like pre breakup arc in the nightmares chapters (which came out so much worse than i intended alkdjksjad;glksjg) when tess and joel talk about ellie Knowing (also legit it is such a trip to me that you dont know the context of that. a trip in a good way) she says we every time and he only ever says i even when she points out that this would affect both of them, and at one point i think he says that tess doesnt understand baseless violence which is 100% untrue, and then there's a bunch of window imagery i put in starting there because im a freak. so like For Once In My Life a lot of this was as planned as it could be. on occasion there's been Plot Revelations that get wedged in (the radio interlude chapter, which was a bit of an inelegant seam between prewritten things that didnt mesh well) but for the most part ive got tits out into every decision. like tess and ellie disagreeing about joel's choice was very planned though i imagine that kind of conversation could be executed many different ways i had my one way and stuck to it. so either way
where was i going with this. did i have a point.
OKAY. let's see. i think one of the big ~emotional beats~ so to speak was the ambush chapter and i think that's the favorite because that's usually where people comment if i remember correctly and initially i wasnt going to go with that tone At All haha. years ago i wrote everyday domestic scenes of mulder and scully from x files and had it all on this blog and it was plotless but largely in the same overarching universe (i say as if it was legit ever That Deep) and after writing this as a oneshot and being like you know? Kind of feel like doing that again. i figured i would just follow the same largely plotless path of legit just domesticity and leave it at that. and i think the first like five chapters are tonally different from the rest because i'd never really intended for it to have plot or really any depth whatsoever. in the end like. How do i say this in a way that wont be interpreted as uppity or something asldkjgalsdgjk like. when i did those mulder scully scenes i was very much a beginner and i think i didnt realize just how inherent that beginner-ness was to the concept itself. which isnt a bad thing! like people had fun with those so far as i remember. bizarrely enough i think people might still read those which. cringe. but you kno!!! but with a few years of distance from that kind of concept i think it was hard for me to Not try something else. especially with this universe in which it's just dense with storytelling opportunity. and also i felt as if the first few chapters were just like super super lighthearted and i wanted some angst factor. which is why in the end the angst factor plot itself is flimsy as fuck. like i did not care WHY they got attacked i just wanted that sweet sweet hurt/comfort cup of tea u feel. and after that i didnt really go for the plot too much But i did edge toward it a lot more. like i mean ultimately this is a romance like it was not intended to be plot heavy ever But it's more plot heavy than it couldve been. had i actually written it as i'd intended from the start i think it wouldve gotten old really fast. like nothing but lighthearted domesticity doesnt make sense in this context. for the first few chapters it doesnt necessarily kill the whole thing imo because like. that's the first few chapters. but after then if there was never any ~deeper thoughts~ i think it wouldve gotten reductive super fast.
hmmm what else. Because i am deciding to talk too much on the internet now.
oh in theory the whole breakup arc couldve been omitted and now in retrospect im like it's hilarious that like the next chapter after they got married i immediately peppered in hints that they would break up lkajsdglaksjgdlkj like wow. That lasted a long time. but like i mean i think with them it fits that they would do something like get married before they even said that they loved each other. like i can see them doing a massive workaround instead of doing a small and simple but vulnerable thing. makes sense 2 me. and like they definitely couldve stuck together in the end but 1 theres interesting storytelling in how maybe joel was too stubborn or maybe they grew apart in certain ways or blah blah blah and 2 I JUST LOVE A GOOD BREAKUP AND THEN RETURNING TO EACH OTHER ARC OKAAAAAAAAAY. legit. favorite trope. if i ever experienced that in real life i would claw my eyes out but in fiction it makes me FERALLLL. and also like i mean i lov these two for their dumb quirks but also like it would be a lil wrong to say there wouldnt be consequences for like. Not communicating haha. also again like the world this game is put in is so full of storytelling opportunities and im like Must Take Them All. like joel is stubborn as hell and shuts down when he's overwhelmed and there is growth in the first game (and in the second too but thats not really shown as much and is more left for the player to fill in the gaps i think) but also i think it would be super easy to regress in that sense and i had fun with putting him in those situations. and it's also super fun to have an additional person for the joel and ellie plots to bounce off of. like joel and ellie are two very stubborn people and having an extra person there to be like You Blithering Idiots has been a good time. im getting sidetracked. like it was fun to answer the question of how these two in a marriage neither of them can fully substantiate would communicate in hard times and the answer i personally found was that they both would end up breaking things. which was fun to write!!!!!!!!! but in theory couldve been prevented. maybe i just cant imagine this a different way haha. like Joel And Tess Learn Healthy Communication Skills Over Time. am i mean for saying that doesnt sound probable aldskjgalskdjgslkgj
OH LMAO THE MARRIAGE PART. that was also a big decision i guess. i wouldnt make it go differently alksdjglasdjg like. i definitely couldve written the context around that many different ways bc again this whole is full of opportunity But a frankly premature wedding just feels right to me. especially with like going from being stuck on survival to being safe for the first time in decades. and then having that sense of safety get boring and wondering why there was that super fast wedding in the first place. cant really imagine it going differently
there is later unposted stuff that could def have gone many different ways and that i tried to make go different ways but that would not be right to talk about akldsjaslkgdjsg so.
this got too long sorry <3
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