Thank you so much for sharing 'Wisdom of the Enneagram' with us. It's so interesting learning about the different types in depth and helpful for analyzing characters!

Recently, I've been trying to pinpoint the traveler. Do you have any thoughts on Aether's enneagram type? (#3) Thank you in advance <3

I'm answering this out of order because oh my God I did not think anyone actually paid attention to those tags HAHA. I can't believe you actually looked up that book I am honestly like both impressed and flattered. It is a super helpful book to understanding characters and their motivations.

[Character Analysis Ask Meme]

What is Aether's enneagram type?

Analysis below!

I'm going to answer your question in a more train of thought process because the Traveler is a really interesting character. They're meant to be a faceless character we can project ourselves on, but they certainly do have a personality. That being said, do we know enough about their personality to be able to pinpoint an ennea? If I have to be honest with you, I don't have a set idea of what they can be.

The best way to do process of elimination with ennea is to focus on the triads. What is their core emotion? Shame (heart triad), fear (head triad), or anger (gut triad)? Do they have issues with identity (heart triad), security/anxiety (head triad), or autonomy/control (gut triad)?

The hard thing about the Traveler is that the only time they show emotion is when it has to do with their sibling. But what else do we know about them? They don't like being tricked. They don't like being obligated to do things out of the goodness of their heart. They're friendly. They like cracking jokes. They like playing around.

I think, with what we're given, we can throw the heart triad out right from the start. The traveler shows no signs of shame. They have no issues with their self-image. Based upon their bond with their twin and Paimon, the answer seems to lean the most to wanting support and guidance. But can it be said their core emotion is fear? Could it possibly be anger instead?

Unfortunately I'm going to have to cheat a bit here and go based purely off of my knowledge of actual people and their types. If the traveler is a head type, the only type they can be is a 7. 5 and 6 simply are not their vibe. They'd probably be a 7w8. That being said, a 7's core aspects do not match that of the Traveler as seen above.

If the Traveler is a gut type, the only types they can be is a 9w8 or a 1w9. Simply put, they are not aggressive enough to be an 8. The argument for 9w8 is that... well... this type I fall to when most other types don't match. HAHA A 9w8 is primarily peace seeking, but won't hesitate to fight and assert themselves if they see the need to. The core aspects of a 9 match as well, as seen below.

The argument for 1w9, though, and also the one I'm leaning more towards is that 1s are very judgmental. And the Traveler is extremely judgmental. LOL 9w8s literally don't care. Just leave them alone. 1s, on the other hand, typically have superiority complexes. LOL Not to say that the Traveler does, but I digress. Unlike 9s, the Traveler does not hesitate to judge. They are self-driven and won't hesitate to make decisions based upon what they feel to be right. That being said, the core aspects do not match, at least with what we know of the Traveler currently.

So those are my picks as to their possible type. I am leaning more towards 1w9, even though we don't have enough canon evidence to support it. Probably a 1w9 so/sx. But if we go based off of canon evidence, they'd probably be a 9w8.

Me

Basic stuff:

Other blogs: @just-tryand-stopme @endwolldel @dailydoseofbill

I am a minor

Real name: haha you don't get to know

I am a cishet ace so don't be weird about that

Pronouns: idc do whatever

Stuff I post: Fandom stuff, memes, asexuality stuff, important stuff every now and then. I am your typical reblogger.

What to expect: inconsistency

Fandom stuff:

Fandoms I'm in: Artemis Fowl, Downton Abbey, The Legend of Hei, Nimona, Les Misérables, Cats are Liquid, Bill Wurtz, Corner Gas

Fandom tags:

lxh (for the Legend of Hei)

Les mis

Sometimes "Downton Abbey", but mostly "Thomas Barrow"

the rest are as just the names of the franchises

DNI if:

You discriminate people

You're going to be creepy

You're an uncensored 18+ blog

Other:

My personal rambles, thoughts, vent, etc. will be tagged with "ramblelele" (three "le"s, one for each word in my url).

Disclaimer: you may see me rb/post some Harry Potter or Fantastic Beasts content, but I do not support jkr or transphobia in any way.

My profile picture is a picrew and is also not my real appearance

My blog is a safe space. Do not derail my posts with hate.

Anything else? Idk? I'm an INFP 9w1. I am Christian. I don't vibe with eat the rich but I won't try and stop you from vibing with it. My ask box is always open :) et je peux parle un peu de Français, mais mon grammaire et autographe sont horrible. I write, but I almost never post it. I use the queue sometimes and try to reblog most of what I like. Normally it takes things a day and a bit to get posted, sorry :(

It's fine and great to tag me in picrew chains/tag games! Let me know if you don't want me to tag you.

I'll tag undescribed, video's and gif's

Note: undescribed videos and gifs will be tagged with "video" or "gif", whereas ones with descriptions will be tagged as "described video" or "described gif"

Spotify

I think that's all?

oh yeah . . .

if you're wondering why my header image or banner or whatever it's called says "binden". . .

https://www.tumblr.com/acewithobsessions/733427288002150400/was-he-fond-at-park-yet-or-binden-missing?source=share

I'm leaving this here

hi! i had a few questions because i’m trying to type an actress who’s currently stumping me a bit. on pdb she’s typed as infp 9w1 sx/so 927 but so many artists are typed as infp 4s or 9s on there and i’m not sure i agree with the consensus, but i can’t pinpoint why. so a few things:

in interviews, she states not being too interested in plot when selecting projects, but finding the most pleasure in deeply exploring a character. her process is to become the character, so she can know them inside out, feel what they feel, and embody that on screen. she had said that some characters stay with her forever and that all of them are her, to some degree, either dialed up or dialed down, and has expressed that acting is a safe way to explore different and more unhinged parts of herself - that in real life she second guesses herself a lot more and is more reserved. on her latest film, she said she went out to practice for her role by talking to men to see how she would seduce them, and it was important to her to know how SHE would go about it. she said throws herself into roles so completely that once she finishes a project, it feels like she’ll never work again. i don’t really buy into visual typing beyond extroverts being more animated and MAYBE fe using expressions, smiles, etc to signal and mirror - but in interviews i did notice a general lack of expressiveness (she def seems introverted and doesn’t appear to mirror anyone else or use her face to communicate much, only smiling when she seems to find something personally amusing)

now that all DOES seem like potential fi dom, but she has said a few times that on set, her body has better ideas than her mind and she often improvises based on her body. she also says that she’s not eager to work on a new project soon after finishing one because she thinks it’s important to go out and live life for a while, accumulate experiences and fill up your well of emotions, and that being too eager to jump on a new project would mean she didn’t do enough with the last one. she says that she knows she wants to act, perfect her craft and be good and she doesn’t have much interest in dabbling in things like producing. she co-wrote a previous film she was in and enjoyed it (and used a stream of consciousness process to write as her character) but is certain about acting being her future. she mentioned divine timing and thinking that certain roles come to you when you need them the most. i wonder if this points to se-ni, and if she may be an isfp instead?

in terms of her enneagram, at first i could see 9 in how she merges with her characters, and in the way she acts from her body/gut - but then i saw recently she said in an interview that everything she does in life, all her motivations are to feel safe and that acting presented a unique challenge because it’s not such a secure career. she said she enjoys challenges, and wanted to be an actress despite that, but that was the main thing that gave her pause about her career, the lack of security. she also mentioned that, when picking a project, the top priority (even above character) is director - that she must trust who’s leading the ship, or else nothing worthwhile can be made. she stated that she doesn’t like to be micromanaged, likes to have some say in decisions about the character and what they might do and that the set is not always going to be a positive place, and that’s okay, because some conflict and friction can produce even better results sometimes. could this be 6, maybe with a 9 fix, or at least 6 in her tritype instead of 7? i’m also not sure i see her as sp blind, as she’s mentioned a few times the importance to her of health and caring for her body so i feel like that would sort of rule out sp blind.

thanks!!

Wanting to live life to the fullest and have adventures can also be sp, since sp is the most aware of how "short" life is and possess a desire to enjoy themselves. But yes, you give a strong argument for sp/so 6w7 SFP. Living in the moment, trusting your body, seeing acting as secondary to having experiences (devaluing fantasy for reality) is extremely Se.

People are too quick to label actresses sx if they are "sexy" or "interesting." They forget that sx is about a magnetic/repulsive hook and living a lifestyle that shows an sx tendency to infuse, use up, and then abandon something or someone once the spark dies (sx/so Elizabeth Taylor was married eight times, for example...).

twinning admin here once again! sorry i should probably just shut up, but... it's really fun to have this conversation with you! you're really smart and well-spoken and bring up so many good points, it's hard to not engage, haha.

your tangent in particular really opened my eyes..... it just? makes so much sense? not just from a gaylor/kaylor's perspective, but from the perspective of taylor as a whole. maintaining a fierce voice in the political and social landscape is really not easy, especially considering that in the general public's eye, she's a polarising celebrity who's been under scrutiny - for instance, if she endorses something good, haters may be inclined to go against her and that thing instead (her precarious reputation as a two-faced snake from the olden years is why she didn't publicly express her support for hillary lest things went south). but if she stays silent, it'll be taken negatively too. either way, anything she says can be and will be used against her or whatever the subject of her words are, which is why i'd rather she act more often to showcase her values instead. donations, diverse representation in music videos, and supporting small artists are a good step in the right direction, hope she keeps on going that way.

back to gaylorism - i personally don't care about being right, i just enjoy this niche corner kaylor has created as well as, what you describe, the love story of our generation 💗 thank you and other wonderful kaylor/gaylor blogs out on here for your incredible attention to detail and queer readings of taylor's songs. her music is already amazing, but reading it through the gaylor/kaylor lens elevates it for me, haha. have a nice day, 9w1.

p.s. plz do let me know if i should shut up now i'd hate to be clogging up your asks haha

haha oh my goodness never feel the need to shut up! just please don’t anybody take it personally if i don’t get to an ask. im kinda new to the anon inbox thing and i don’t get to them all. i do my best to read and think about each of them though ☺️

i am so happy to hear you are finding joy in reading through these things! at the end of the day, thinking about these stories should be something that enriches your life / worth the time you spend reading them.

you have a nice day too!

ITZY Personality Analysis

Somebody requested for me to do Itzy’s personalities, so here it is! Sorry for the late response and inactivity. 

Do note that I’m not a MIDZY, so I only relied on one series to type them - 2TZY on Youtube. I tried watching a Yuna Vlive, but it wasn’t subbed, so I just came to the conclusion that ITZY Vlives weren’t subbed, which is a pity.

Preface: To those who don’t know MBTI, there are 8 functions in four pairs. The judging functions (Fe-Ti and Fi-Te) are used in decision-making; Fe-Ti considering personal knowledge (Ti) and the opinions and feelings of others (Fe), or using hard logic and fact (Te), and a personal moral compass (Fi), while perceiving functions (Si-Ne and Se-Ni) are used for taking in information from surroundings (Se or Ne) and storing it in your “database” (Si or Ni)

As for enneagram, there are three triads: head triad (5, 6, 7) reveals how one deals with fear; heart triad (2, 3, 4) reveals how one deals with shame; and gut triad (8, 9, 1) reveals how one deals with anger. Each person has a tritype, and has one fix each from each triad.

In order from most to least confident in:

Yuna

ESFJ

This was somewhat obvious to me because of how the other members described her. Yuna enjoys complimenting people and lifting others up, and she’s extremely in tune with the emotions of people around her, which led me to think Fe-dom. She can be extremely nurturing, and she constantly says stuff like “You guys take care of me, so I should take care of you!” Then it led me to two choices - ESFJ and ENFJ. However, I barely saw Ni in her; she’s a lot more upbeat and excitable, which could be the tertiary Ne. She’s also pretty good at recollecting details (Si) and has that groundedness along with the sunny disposition of most ESFJs. Yuna also said she usually says stuff without much thought: predebut Yuna after hearing Dalla Dalla approached predebut Ryujin and went “Hey, isn’t this song soooo GOOD?!”, which leads me to go for inferior TI at the moment, though a weak example.

As for enneagram, I was thinking she could be a 2 with how much she enjoys helping others and how adept she is at it. Probably a 9 fix somewhere, and 7 head fix with how excitable and optimistic she is. Between 2w1 and 2w3 I’d go for 2w3, as Yuna mentioned that she’s a competitive person, which is a trait of most 3s. She also isn’t as hard on herself and doesn’t have strict principles to conform to like 1s do.

In conclusion: ESFJ 2w3 297

Yeji

ISFJ

Yeji has a pretty... Si-ish sense of humour. Dad jokes and puns, it’s cute when she laughs at it haha. As for Fe, she’s very in tune with the emotions of her other members, and talks a lot about how when she notices they want something, she’ll give it to them; sort of similar to the way Yuna gifts compliments. Yeji talks a lot about other people and their opinions, but her Si is more careful - Ryujin goes “lol let’s hug her’, while Yeji says “I would have had second thoughts before hugging someone” (dom Si and inf Ne). She’s also careful and meticulous, Si-dom traits, and like Chae, they’re both perfectionists who have a work-before-play mindset. There’s also an intriguing bit - Yeji talks about how people told her she dances by-the-book. Si is pretty adept in mimicking the moves of others while Fe is good at noticing this, so without Fi it would harder to add her own flair in, which seems like a pretty ISFJ struggle. Her inferior Ne shows when with Ryujin, when they both had to assign seasons to each other. (Yeji: “What if we chose the same seasons?” Ryujin:”Then we chose the same seasons”)

I’m guessing 9w1 for her enneagram. Easygoing, perceptive, positive-thinking. Her w1 lies in her perfectionistic and dedicated nature, and she does seem to be more hard on herself compared to the more chill 9w8. I’m guessing 6 fix for her which makes her more grounded and dependable and 2 fix because of how much she enjoys giving and caring for the members.

ISFJ 9w1 962 (??)

Chaeryeong

ISFJ 

Compared to Yeji, I see more Ti in Chae than I do with Yeji and see more Fe in Yeji than Chae, but both are still there. I feel like when Chae tries to explain things, she often talks more about her personal understanding and elaborates on it while Yeji talks more about the impacts it has on others. There’s this bit with Yuna, where she goes “Why would you do that?”, and Yuna goes “Just do it!”. Her Si-Ti can make her a lot more skeptical than Fe-Ne Yuna even if they have the same functions. She also seems to be good with her details of her memories, remembering acutely her routine. Inferior Ne I don’t know for now.  Her Si can make her seem pretty grudgeful although that seems to just be her humour and wit, but there’s that Fe that pokes out that makes her enjoy compliments from others.

I’m guessing 6w5 for her enneagram. Unlike Yeji, who’s more easygoing, Chaeryeong has more of that nervous undertone and is a lot more head-centred. She also kind of relies on self-depreciating humour at times? But at the same time, she’s dedicated and hardworking. w5 over w7 as I see her as more private and withdrawn than w7, who’d be a lot more outgoing. I chose 3 fix with how dedicated she is to her job as an idol, but I’m not sure whether she’d have a 9 fix (easygoing, pushes back anger) or 1 fix (perfectionistic and strict with their ideals)

ISFJ 6w5 639/1

Ryujin

ISTP

Unlike the rest of them, Ryujin is a thinker. She’s more rational, and contrasts to Yuna this way as they both have opposite dominant functions (they even address being opposites). Ryujin when called out has this tendency to give reasonings for why she did it (dom Ti). If something doesn’t align with how she thinks it is, she’ll call it out (”That isn’t really a fight though”). Compared to the rest of the ITZY members, Ryujin doesn’t seem like she has Si - no meticulous attention to detail, rather jumping into things, which seems more Se to me. She also can be pretty witty, with her double entendre (Ni), and there’s this time where Ryujin talks about wondering whether Dalla Dalla would be a hit when she heard it predebut, which would make her more forward thinking (tert Ni). Her inf Fe is interesting - she has this side of her that likes messing with people and getting reactions from them, and she also seems to secretly enjoy attention, oof. Her birthday message to Yuna also seemed inf Fe - “I think I might have been awkward with you and sometimes not so caring, but thanks for being by my side”

Frankly speaking, however, I don’t have much of an idea for her enneagram. I originally guessed 9w8 for how chill she seemed, and the 8 in her makes her somewhat competitive, but then I’m also considering 8w9. So I don’t know what her enneatype is. I’m guessing her heart fix is 3 and her head fix is 7.

ISTP 8w9/9w8 8/937

Lia

ENFP?

Okay, so Lia is probably the biggest mystery for me from all the ITZY members. I’m unsure of her type, and I’m unsure of her enneagram. I’m just taking a guess, so take note this may not be correct. 

Lia is pretty witty - she enjoys humour that most of the other members don’t find as hilarious, and she tosses in these snarky remarks here and there. She likes tossing in these random sayings that I have never heard someone say before (“Your butt will become hairy if you laugh while crying”), which comes off to me as Ne. Her Ne also makes her pretty easily distractible (eg joining a conversation as soon as an interesting topic comes out, neglecting her food). I guessed Fe with how caring she was, but that would make her xNTP (NeSi FeTi) and that didn’t sit right, and comparing her to the rest of the group, she didn’t seem as Fe, so I settled for Fi. This particular bit sounds like Fi-Te - “I’ll work hard (Te) so that I can proudly call myself Yuna’s sister (Fi)”, though not necessarily. Her Fi-Te can also be how firm she is on her opinions. I’m guessing inferior Si with how nostalgic over the future she is, and she has a lot of developing Si thoughts, like taking Yuna to drink wine, or admiring Yuna in her wedding dress. But I also considered INFP because the inf Te can make her more slothful, but I’m settling for ENFP for now, as she does seem to be Te>Si.

As for enneagram, I’m considering that her more slothful and lenient nature is attribute to 9. She seems relatively peaceful and easygoing like Yeji, mostly going her own pace. She finds tasks like moving overwhelming because there are things to pack and unpack.I’m not sure about her wing, but I don’t see the w8 anger/need for control in her, so I’ll go for 9w1. Strong 2 fix makes her more nurturing. I’m guessing her head fix to be 6.

So, ENFP 9w1 926

So yeah, that’s it for my mini analysis of their types! If there are any idols you want me to analyse, let me know :D

Good evening, I was wondering if I may request a matchup (if you would like to). I am 5'3 with green eyes and waist length blonde/brown hair. My style is rather feminine, often sporting thigh high socks and a beret. I take care of my appearance and I am never seen without eyeliner and numerous pieces of jewellery. I am an ENFJ (enneagram 9w1). I am creative. I like to write stories and perform music. I am bi (male preference) and I usually like those with mysterious yet eccentric personalities.

Hey hey, anon! Of course I'd like to👍🏻🧡. I match you with...

Diavolo✨

° You caught his attention first as you were walking down the street. He was under the guise of Doppio, but one look at you, and he knows he wants to see more. Bella. He thought.

° Expect Doppio to be in your vicinity often from that point on. "Ah! I know that book." Doppio would say as he passes you by in a bookstore.

° But not known to you is the emergency call his 'Boss' gave him just a while ago. "Go to her." He comanded.

° He'd only approach you for your beauty at first, but the more you hang out and talk to Doppio, the more he gets to know your layers too.

° He appreciates that you understand and take care of Doppio. He could really get clumsy most of the time.

° The warmth in conversation that you provide is gold to him. He has no one he bounces his ideas off of, and your nice and encouraging words makes him wonder. It would even scare him sometimes. He has never experienced something like this, not even in Sardinia. No one tried to understand.

° But why do you?

° He will never show himself to you. Not ever. At least that was the plan.

° Watching you perform or simply just looking at you reading a book with a calm demeanor about you will become unbearable to him. So expect Doppio's eyes to change sometimes.

° "Not now...not now..." He'll chant to himself. No one has seen his face and no one ever will. He tries to tell himself over and over.

° But one time, you were cuddled up close to Doppio, sleeping. You didn't know that the fingers that brushed your hair and the fond eyes that looked at you while you sleep is Diavolo himself.

° "Should I just reveal myself, cara?" He says. "But then I'd have to dispose of you. I would hate that."

That's all I got, dear anon! Hope you enjoyed your match. Love lots and blessed be

🧡🧡🧡✨✨✨

Belle French (Once Upon a Time): INFP

Dominant Introverted Feeling [Fi]: Even though her family is against it, Belle is in love with Rumple, and she doesn’t care what anyone has to say about it. Belle does what’s right for her. She doesn’t let other people influence her choices. Belle is very caring, compassionate, warm, and kind because that is the type of person she wants to be. She cherishes integrity and individual experience. She goes above and beyond for the people she loves, and will stop at nothing to protect her son. It is important to Belle that Rumple makes an effort to be a good man and not give into his darker urges, because she values kindness and selflessness, and gets very upset when he fails to live up to her moral expectations, which leads to many of their fights. Belle wants to be a noble hero, and sometimes pushes her personal values on other people (mainly Rumple).

Auxiliary Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: Belle has an adventurous spirit and enjoys thinking of possibilities. She sees Rumple for the man he could be. She knows that if he tries, he can be a good man, and she sees him for this, as opposed to who he actually is. She doesn’t want the life her father wants for her and rebels against his wishes. She enjoys reading and soaks up different stories. She likes tales of adventure and heroism, which might contribute to her valuing these traits in real people (Fi-Ne). She has a curious mind and likes to explore, even when doing so puts her at risk of getting into trouble (such as when she wanders Rumple’s castle). Though Belle adheres to a strict moral code, she is willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and second chances, because she sees their potential and wants to see the good in everyone. Belle tends to see what could be instead of what is.

Tertiary Introverted Sensing [Si]: The past is important to Belle. Because the chipped cup is a symbol of their romance, it means a lot to her (Ne-Si). She enjoys reminiscing about things or events that have brought her joy, such as her happier times with Rumple, or rereading her favorite book over and over. Belle is good at recalling information that she’s read in books, and can reference it when her knowledge might be useful in present situations. No matter what Rumple does, or how many times he hurts her, she always takes him back. She continues to believe that he can change and refuses to let go of the relationship (Fi-Si).

Inferior Extroverted Thinking [Te]: It’s difficult for Belle to make decisions purely based on logic. How she feels is more important to her than the facts of the situation. She follows her heart first and foremost. Belle doesn’t really like conflict, but when she’s had enough, or her Fi ideals are violated, she can put somebody in their place in a blunt, concise manner. Her moralistic Fi can sometimes be in conflict with her inferior objective Te, because it’s hard for her to put her personal feelings aside to do what needs to be done. However, every now and then she allows her inferior function to take the reigns, such as when she exiled Rumple from Storybrooke, or allowed Rumple to do what he thought was best in order to protect Gideon.

Enneagram: 9w1 So/Sx (likely 927 tritype)

Quotes:

Gaston: Her Handsome Hero… Interesting. Wouldn’t have picked you for a fan of cheap romance. Belle: No! No. This is not like that. This book is about compassion and forgiveness… the things that truly make a hero.

Belle: You’re a coward, Rumplestiltskin. And no matter how thick you make your skin, that doesn’t change. Rumplestiltskin: I’m not a coward, dearie. It’s quite simple, really… my power means more to me than you. Belle: No. No, it doesn’t. You just don’t think I can love you. Now you’ve made your choice. And you’re going to regret it. Forever. And all you have… is an empty heart. And a chipped cup.

Belle: Rumplestiltskin, this thing we have, it’s…it’s never been easy. I’ve… I’ve lost you so many times. I’ve lost you to darkness, to weakness, and finally, to death. But now I realize… I realize that I have not spent my life losing you. I’ve spent my life finding you. Mr. Gold: Belle, when we met, I wasn’t just unloved and unloving. I was an enemy of love. Love only brought me pain. My walls were up. But you brought them down. You brought me home. You brought life into my life and chased away all the darkness. And I vow to you I will never forget the distance between what I was and what I am. I owe more to you than I can ever say. How you can see the man behind the monster I will never know. Belle: But that monster is gone. And the man beneath him may be flawed, but we all are. And I love you for it. Sometimes the best book has the dustiest jacket. And sometimes the best teacup is chipped.

Belle: You’re in love. Bossy: That’s impossible. Dwarves can’t fall in love. Belle: Trust me. I know love, and you’re in it. Dreamy: What’s it like? Belle: It’s the most wonderful and amazing thing in the world. Love is hope. It fuels our dreams, and if you’re in it, you need to enjoy it because love doesn’t always last forever.

Mr. Gold: When we met, I told you I was a difficult man to love. But more than that, I think I think I’m a man no one can love. But this son… With him, I can start over. Maybe he can love me. Belle: Not like this. Don’t give up, Rumple. I never wanted you to be perfect. I just wanted you to try. Mr. Gold: I have. And look what’s happened. I’ve only ever pushed you away. Now, uh, I… I’m afraid all I really have is this. Magic. Belle: And it may get you your son. But you know there’s a price. You won’t just push me away again. You’ll lose me forever. Is that a price that you’re willing to pay?

Neal: You think there’s magic in here? Belle: No. Something better than magic… Books. Books on history, witchcraft, and hopefully some on the Dark One, too. Neal: Where do we start? Belle: One shelf at a time.

Belle: You know why the library is the tallest building in Storybrooke? Hook: Because it’s under a clocktower…? Belle: No. Because it has the most stories. Hook: Right…

Belle: You know, ever since it happened, I… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Rumple’s sacrifice. I mean, how he died to save everyone in Storybrooke. Neal: You know that wasn’t it. He died to save us… His family. Belle: At least he died a hero. Neal: Were you surprised he had it in him? Belle: Of course not. W… Were you?

Belle French (Once Upon a Time): INFP was originally published on MBTI Zone

Between some types

Hey! The thing about EFJs not realizing that they are coming across as more than just friendly when they only platonically love people and tending to be very flowery and warm and expressive when with anyone who they think likes THEM a lot too really hit home! I feel like even if I really want to say no I have to do it in the most gentle way possible because I love the person and want them to feel alright. My friend/classmate who is a thinker (ISTP?) does not understand why I feel the need to do this. 

I've heard similar things from my EFJ friends. One of them says that to make others happy makes her happy; that it may seem silly to Fi types, but having others around her feeling good -- makes her feel good. She wants to keep everything harmonized and will adjust her emotions to whatever theirs are for the current situation -- and put her total attention on the other person and make them feel truly "heard." That's what EFJs do well, and why sometimes others can misconstrue the level of their interest -- because it's so dialed into you when you're in front of them. She says the stereotypes about EFJs wanting a ton of people in the same place is wrong, because she can't dial into someone and connect to them by mirroring back at them what she senses off them, when she's in a group -- her attention is fracturing out in all directions. Do you relate to that?

I guess this brings me to my series of asks -- I've always been a really trusting person because I want to believe (so badly!) that we're all trying our best to be benevolent, but I'm wondering if this is a trait for FP types too.

It can be the case for ENFPs (SPs are usually less fanciful and idealistic), but it also usually indicates a highly compliant, nice person. We all assume others are the way we are -- so if we are a trusting and kind person, we assume others will be trusting and kind. If we are distrustful and suspicious, we assume others will also have trust issues. Believing that everyone is good and means well comes into sharp contrast with "reality" when we take a look at it -- did the Nazis mean well? how about the drunk down the street who beats his wife? But that's an aside... wanting to believe the best in others can be an EFJ type, because it's hard for EFJs to think badly of others, due to their desire for harmonizing and equality. They also struggle to access their inferior thinking function, which tends to ask "why are they not being kind?"

I am questioning my type again since an IFJ was telling me how I am super trusting and might not intuit or catch someone trying to trick me, which sounded more like ExFP than FJ. I think I am a Fe user, but this friend also compared me to an ESFP character, so I'm wondering if this behavior is more typical of ESFP now. If I'm an EFJ, I have no idea which one I am, because I feel I have traits of both Ni-Se and Si-Ne.

Being super trusting could mean you are a 2w1 or a 9w1. FJ 9s tend to be trusting, assume the best of everyone, sweet, and sometimes naive, because they don't want to be "bothered" by the hard things in life, or think about them, or face them, so they push them off to the side. 2s think it's terrible/bad to think badly of other people, instead of being warm, generous, loving, and compassionate toward them, in a desire to connect more deeply to them.

Here are the things making me wonder if I am ESFP or even ENFP:

- I used to be super loud and outgoing and risk taking when I was younger and had a hard time toning myself down even when I wanted to. Inside I was a bit jealous of everyone who came across as 'perfect' and I had a very difficult time hiding my feelings and my jealousy even though I wanted more than anything to be nice and good.

This indicates a lot of super-ego sweetness, but also extroversion. How rapid are you at addressing your feelings in any given situation or airing them to others? EFPs keep their feelings inside more than EFJs, who tend to address things immediately by venting. This sounds a bit 2w1ish as well -- feeling jealous about others getting attention (the love you crave) but also feeling a need to be "good."

- I hate things with no connection to human beings and things that are super abstract and logical but I love philosophy and typology.

This could be either one, but may be ESFJ-ish in general. ENFJs are very, very good with highly abstract concepts; ESFJs are not (they are more about people in the present) and ENFPs tend to sit in the middle (ideas, concepts, thoughts, theories, fine, but not super abstract stuff... Te doesn't see the point).

- I am not super into cliques because they exclude people & I do work in the inclusion sector and can't stand the behaviors of people who make other people feel 'other' or 'too different/weird' for not following social protocol perfectly.

Is this coming from a them place or a me place? Them -- as in, it's wrong to make them conform when it's not what's best for them or what they need or want (Fe); vs "I wouldn't want to conform, so I am against anyone else conforming" (Fi). One is a total objectivity when it comes to others and their feelings, the other is subjectivity and self-referencing (thinking about me, how I would feel, and THEN that leading to your decision to be against that thing, as opposed to the EFJ tendency to champion causes that don't involve "me").

- I lead discussion circles about inclusion and interdependence and I LOVE doing it which makes me think I have a propensity for Pe concepts.

This sounds EFJ to me.

- I have been socially awkward/too polite/too outgoing/energetic/trusting before and I cringe at myself for my past blunders all the time & just wish I came across as smooth all the time even though nobody really does. I have been typed as a 3 but I don't know if I'm good enough at 3ing to be a 3.

I think you have too much right/wrong thinking for 3. 3s are not in the super-ego triad, and their life is not ruled by inner voices telling them what they 'should' do or how they 'must' act. This sounds like self-judgment coming from a 1ish place.

- I am extremely *internally* critical of myself but I stop myself from having critical thoughts about others because that's not what nice people do and imagine how they would feel if they knew my inner thoughts.

This is also EFJish (and more evidence for a 2w1 core). First, the judgment -- nice people aren't critical of others. That's the 2w1. Then, paired with strong Fe -- what if they ever found out about my true thoughts and it hurt them?? Fi is more "having these thoughts makes me a bad person, I'm not living up to my best self!" There is a subtle difference, but the focus is still them (what would they think) and me (what's wrong with me???).

- I sometimes have trouble figuring out who I am because of all of the external messages I get which, now that I think about it, seems like a perceiving-dominant thing. I tend to mirror too much lol :)

Too much mirroring is strong Fe. EFPs tend to have a strong sense of who they are as independent from others, even as attachment types. It's EFJ who automatically tunes into everyone else, and has to learn how to distance themselves from what others want of them.

- I ask a lottttt of questions (don't know how typology related this is but I am always curious and hoping to know more about people and psychology!)

This doesn't always mean Fe/Ti (it's also common in head types -- 5s, 6s, 7s), but in your case I think it is. :)

I suspect ESFJ 2w1 so/sp.

Why do I seem to express my anger differently, depending on the people I am around?

Hi! I'm an INFP 9w1 and I've questioned this many times. It made me wonder if I'm really a 9.

So, from what I've read, angry 9s can either be passive agressive or ignore their negative emotions completely. Now, I identify with that... to an extent. When I'm with classmates, strangers or even best friends, I tend to avoid confrontation at all costs. Even if something is bothering me, I will either stay quiet or voice it in a very calm and polite manner as to not offend anyone (while also trying not to cry, bc I'm sensitive like that). I am very rarely passive aggressive with these types of people. Maybe just with my best friends, my sassy side wakes up, but it's very rarely, as the mere thought of getting into fights with them makes me anxious. But, if there is something that really rubs me the wrong way then I can get quite sarcastic and roll my eyes and retort.

With my family however, oh boy, it's a whole different story. I seem to get annoyed way easier by them than by others and when I get angry.... yeah, it's quite intense. I can throw fits and shout and cry because I am so angry. The fights usually result from me not wanting to do something because I'm a brat or my parents saying something that I found completely insulting and I just had to be vocal about it. Of course, there are times when I let it slide because I really don't want to fight. Like, I really don't. But, other times I just can't keep my mouth shut. I just need to make my opinion heard, partially because I feel like they've insulted me personally with what they said (about anything I'm passionate about, human right and politics, especially) and partially because I know they're wrong and I want to hit them with the correct facts. Otherwise, they'll keep believing that rubbish.

So, why is this haplening? Why am I so calm and polite and small around others, at max passive-agressive with friends, but really confrontational with family? Am I really a 9?

Thanks!

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Some of that is just IFP -- gotta speak my truth, you gotta deal with it -- but beyond that -- why do you think you are a 9? You can't hinge being one on one thing, and you can't cast doubts on it by lingering on the one thing that doesn't fit. What makes you a 9? Have you looked inside yourself at your motives and seen 9 apathy, lack of drive, confusion, passivity, etc., "in motion"? Have you gone asleep to yourself? If so, if the internal dialogue you experience fits the 9, if your relationship problems are 9, if your inner life is 9... you are a 9, regardless of whether you push back against your loved ones or not.

But it may also be worth considering 6, if you are passive with people you don't know (afraid of what they might do, or rejection) and push-back against the "authority" of your parents. It's also 6ish to get hung up on focusing on what "doesn't fit" instead of what does, and to fixate on it and question it endlessly... is that something you do a lot? Doubt and question and think about it and focus on what's inconsistent or seems wrong?

It sounds like you are either a reactive type or have a reactive wing (over-reactions, tantrums, screaming and crying) -- so if you stick with 9, you might look into 9w8 instead of 9w1.

communication style between feelers.

Hello again. 

I read the post about Dean and I do not agree with the poster, but I’m not here to reply to her but to ask you a question she kind of raised and I always want to ask. 

What are the communicative styles of Fi vs Fe in feelers .. once and for all? 

Because online the same styles are given to both functions, and I’m super confused. In my own experience and what I’ve noticed, Fi are direct and expressive, Fe hold back and are more secretive and vague. Yet it’s not what is described under those functions, is it? I also wonder if it has more to do with introversion/extroversion and enneagram type more than feeling function?

Lets take Rory and Lorelai. 

Rory the ISFJ: One of the reasons she’s one of my least favorite characters is because 50% of her lines are “no it’s fine” and “oh it’s okay”. And what frustrates me more is that she’s labeled sweet and polite and ‘the nicest kid in the world’ for it even though it hurt people around her. She never says what she actually feels and avoids these conversations and there are consequences. 

- She likes Jess and wants to be with him? she drags Dean along and makes him go through emotional hell with the uncertainty and the clinginess that comes with experiencing someone pulling away slowly and them lying and telling you it’s all in your head. She disrespects him and lies over and over again. Being honest and upfront would’ve saved him all of that.

- After she dates him after his divorce the same exact thing happens. It’s not working and the relationship wasn’t what she thought it would be. She wasn’t okay with the Doose’s market food spread, spending time in his house with his mother watching them like hawk and sister blasting music. She wasn’t okay with him snapping at her and staying at his friend’s apartment and them rarely spending time together because he doesn’t have a car and the lack of proper dates. Does she communicate these things? nope, she drags it along until the action comes from him once again and he’s very hurt and feels not good enough again while she cries wearing a diamond tiara because he 'dumped her’ when she dumped him both times way earlier and simply didn’t verbalize it.

- She willingly allows Emily to manipulate her then gets super upset about it and takes it out on her when the person she should be angry with is herself for not speaking up

- When she wants to date Logan and he doesn’t initiate it she’s also upset instead of going to him and telling him she’s interested. 

- When her and her mother attempt to end the grandparents separation, she let’s Richard cut her off and change the subject even though it was her idea and she felt very strongly about doing it that night

Lorelai the ENFP however wastes no time in that same episode. as soon as she was handed the drink she asked her mother directly “will you ever get back together with dad?”

- When Emily is being disrespectful or nosey she tells her to back off straight away. 

- when her father does the same the day after spending the day at Stars Hallow she tells him “You’re judgmental, it’s none of your business, it’s my life not yours and I’ll live it however you want. this stops now”

- when max proposes to her and she thinks it’s the wrong way to do it she says so immediately

- when sherry tells Rory to visit all the time at the baby shower because Yale is near, Lorelai says “well yes, when she’s not spending time with me”. She makes it clear.

- Christopher told the Rory of how she kissed him when they were young because 'she wanted to know what it felt like’ which is completely different than Rory who gets passive aggressive because of Logan. 

That being said. Both characters are unhealthy in expressing themselves one is your face and one acts like a doormat and is upset when someone steps on it. I’ll talk about my experience with IxFJs. I love them, but unfortunately we run into the same miscommunication wall. I’m an xNFP (leaning towards ENFP). Maybe it’s the Te in me but I like things clear and efficient in the sense that I want it out in the open all of it, no matter how insignificant and embarrassing it may be. I want to talk about it calmly and gently, reach a decision or a common ground, take the lesson from it and MOVE ON. I hate things hanging in the air till they shape themselves like an elephant and become the one in the room. The IxFJs I’ve known hardly ever share if I’ve wronged them in a way and instead start behaving a little differently around me, they won’t reply the same way to my messages and there’ll be awkward silence. I don’t understand why? it’s a waste of time and energy. Fe think that by not saying the 'negative’ things and addressing the 'not so perfect feelings’ they’re not hurting anyone, but in reality it’s the opposite, it's the most hurtful thing when you’re passive and you let the person suffer for it. 

I respect my people too much to make them feel stupid and play with their head and heart. I’ve told people I didn’t want to be friends with them anymore (and I was as respectful/friendly/considerate as I could while doing it). Difficult, honest, conversations hurt less than lack of honestly and action in my opinion, especially on the long run when the person calms down and is able to think logically. 

And I love my people so much that I don’t want to go days without talking to them because of an argument that could be resolved. I hate sleeping on unresolved business. Rory runs away every time she doesn’t like want to have a hard conversation with her mother, either to her grandma’s house or to Europe or the live in the pool house for months and poor Lorelai just waits.

I don’t relate to the INFP’s post at all about Fi finding it hard saying I love you. If anything I over do it. with handwritten letters and long messages and presents and on the phone and in person and written in the sky if I only I had the money

so which communicative style belongs to FJs and which to FP? I stand by Fi (direct and clear communication) and Fe (avoidant and passive).

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It sounds like you have a solid ability to be honest and open about your feelings, and that’s admirable. You’re clearly not an avoidant personality, but that’s not the case for a lot of feelers. I think what you’re objecting to are attachment type behaviors, within the Enneagram system (3, 6, and 9). Rory, who is either a 9w1 or a 6w5 (probably a 9w1, given how you just described her) is an avoidant personality who isn’t sure what she wants most of the time, is afraid of conflict and confrontation, and has separation issues. She is indeed passive-aggressive and avoidant, and puts her friends and family members through hell while tying to sort out what she wants and how she needs to communicate. And it’s not good. Her behavior with Jess was especially bad, because she was really into him, didn’t want to admit it to herself, couldn’t admit to Dean that she had emotionally moved on, and didn’t know what to do about her feelings… so she strung him along.

Healthy people learn to put things out in the open and be clear about their feelings, but a lot of feelers of both types don’t know how to do this. I would say it’s easiest for ESFPs and EFJs, because of the direct communicative style of Se/Te and Fe-dom. Fe-doms can’t help talking about how they feel immediately as it happens, because it’s the center of their world. As regards your complaints about IFJs… avoidance happens, because IFJs are less sure about their feelings and how to communicate them in ways that are non-offensive to others, and about 80% of them are 9w1s, which compounds the problem of being avoidant. They don’t want to risk an argument, deal with your hurt feelings, or insult you in any way, so they ignore the problem and hope it goes away, but it never really does. They avoid you, afraid of what they might say that could be hurtful, and procrastinate about being honest. (I too have had this happen.) They aren’t sure of how much separation they want, if a relationship sours, because their minds are fuzzy on the issue (they are mad, then not mad, want you, then don’t want you), so they can send you mixed messages.

But, and I will say this, I have done the exact same thing. I am not proud of it, but I’ve done it. I’ve not known how to say, “Look, I am unhappy with this relationship and I want out.” Instead, I become more distant and wait for you to catch the hint, unless it’s in a romantic relationship and there I will say, “It’s not you, it’s me. I don’t want this” in a nice way. My 9 fix tries to ignore things, even if they bother me a lot, to maintain a connection. In the past, I’ve not been a direct communicator, though I’m teaching myself to be more so and just ask. I’m way more comfortable writing “Love ya!” than having a serious “I love you” conversation. Like the INFP, a lot of my feelings are buried deep inside and not things I discuss with people.

So, to answer your question: FPs are more direct simply because low Te is blunt as hell. They may dance around things but eventually blurt out the truth. Fe is more indirect but also more polite and able to tell people things “nicely” by finding a way to soften it. But you are still going to find FPs who are unclear and indirect, and FJs who are direct and quite clear. So it really depends on the kind of Enneagram type you are dealing with. An EFJ 8 won’t mince words, and an IFP 9 won’t be direct with you.

I've been exploring myself in relation to MBTI for some years now, and I think I'm a TJ, probably an ISTJ or perhaps an ESTJ. But... [...] This was the only person I acted like that for. In other situations, as a child and now as an adult, I feel Te and Fi. I love being a leader because I can get things done and do it right the first time. I love having a job I wanted, where I'm doing what interests me and what feels right, even though my family thinks I could have done something "better", that paid more. But because that person hurt me for so long, and I reacted like that to the point that I started to half-believe all the things they said about me were justified, and all the things they did to me "not a big deal", I wonder if I'm just a (low?) Fe. What are your thoughts? Since you cover MBTI in fiction, are there any examples of Te/Fi or Fi/Te users appealing emotionally to self preserve? Thanks.

Some of what you said could be Te, in the sense of rationalizing that you just have to put up with them long enough to grow up and move away -- but it would just as easily be the solution a Fe reached (keep them happy, mold to them without being tainted by them, go along with it, and then escape to be my true self later).

I do wonder why you settled on TJ and aren't considering FJ. Do you think only TJs can organize people or get things done? Do you think FJs wouldn't choose a job that is emotionally fulfilling to them, even if it pays less than something else that is more 'logical'? You didn't tell me why you are a TJ or give any examples of Te, you just focused on the emotional hoops you had to jump through when growing up, and how you went along with things to avoid conflict.

This doesn't mean you aren't a TJ, but you haven't provided evidence of being one, which suggests you may not fully understand what Fe/Te are in terms of judging functions. They can both accomplish the same tasks, but they go about it in a different way -- Te through shutting down their emotions and doing things that are necessary, and Fe through tapping into other people and their emotions and figuring out how to use them to complete a task.

If your goal was to avoid trouble or conflict by numbing yourself, keeping your head down, and just going along to get along, you might be a 9, in which case, you could be an ISTJ 9w1 and still be a Te user, using 9 to merge into others, go along with things that bore you, and avoid drawing unnecessary attention to yourself from a toxic individual; but an ESTJ 9 is not possible, they are too assertive. A 9 would also go with EFJ and IFJ.

People in negative, toxic, or abusive situations who need to survive often do whatever is required to avoid explosive reactions, emotional abuse, etc. So you can factor it into part of your self-analysis, but you should also pay attention to how you are in a healthy environment, in your most natural state. Is your default to ignore emotions in favor of doing what makes the most sense, what is rational, and what will organize your time and efforts to the best advantage, or are you someone who taps into other people's feelings and uses that to reach them in a professional environment? It sounds more like the former, in which case your self-analysis of ISTJ might be correct.

I’m loving these 9 posts (and also your updated system - it’s really helpful to see the general concepts and specific character examples woven together!). I definitely relate to the recent 9 who said they feel their anger. I could basically agree to everything in that post - especially the anger directed at myself when I don’t stop an interaction that is exhausting me. The other thing that I struggle with is the idea that 9s should reach out. I’m trying to reach out, but in doing so, I’m also opening myself up to the sting of rejection. I end up feeling bitter when someone who I would like to cultivate a friendship with never reaches out first (after the initial interactions) or casually says things that seem unkind. For example, if we’re talking about music and I say (very politely) that I think a particular song is over-rated, and the other person responds with something like - “But a lot of people like it so maybe you’re missing something” it hurts. I don’t expect to be agreed with on everything - I like discussing differences of opinion. But when something like this happens I get stuck in a cycle of getting angry, then wondering if maybe I’m too sensitive, then thinking maybe I should apologize for offending them, then realizing that I only want to apologize so they will realize they came across in an antagonistic way and apologize to ME… Then I decide my whole approach to people is false/manipulative and friendship is over-rated and I don’t want to even try anymore. Hermit life, ahoy! The fear of being a bother and an unwanted intrusion is always there and it is often very strong. Do they feel compelled to respond because I messaged them or reached out in person? At what point should I stop attempting to connect? But I also get angry and think “Really? You have so many friends that you don’t want one more, even though we’ve had some fun times together and you’ve told me you enjoyed spending time with me?” And I honestly don’t want a really intimate “kindred spirit” type relationship with most friends - I just want to enjoy a good conversation now and then and to feel like my input is valuable to that person. I want them to sometimes ask me what my latest obsession is or how I feel about a particular topic. And being a 9w1 (with a lot of 1 traits) I’m much harder on myself than on other people. Obviously, if there is a problem, it is my fault. Even if I thought about my message 100 times before sending it, it must have come across wrong, and this is why it’s hard for a 9 to relax and “just be” - at least if you carefully craft a smart/funny/insightful message than you can feel that you did your best, even if you fail to connect with the other person. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it is certainly good for 9s to be encouraged to reach out. We need the permission! But, fellow 9, if you do reach out, be prepared for some people to reject you, and try not to let rejection make you bitter about people in general. There ARE people who will care about you and be interested in what you have to say. But it may take time to find them - even a lifetime. I apologize if the above comes across as passive aggressive - but maybe other 9s will relate and feel they aren’t alone? Or will write in with tips on how they deal with the positives and negatives of reaching out? 

Mod Note: You know what helps you get over the fear of rejection? Being rejected and realizing -- it changes nothing about your life. You lost nothing that you previously owned. The more rejection you face, the less frightening it is and the less seriously you take it. People have many reasons to not respond to you -- and it’s not all about you or what you did wrong. That’s taking too much on yourself. They are busy, preoccupied, fellow 9s who procrastinate  ;), have a hectic home life, aren’t good at answering texts or e-mails, etc. Some of them are scatterbrains, others are self-absorbed. Learn to shrug and go “oh well” and look for the next fun person who might want to be friends. Life is an adventure. There are millions of people on this planet. Will most of them want to be your friend? No, but some of them will, so keep looking for them.

Feel disappointment, rather than insulted. Then brush it off and try again.

I know it’s hard, but it’s also important to learn to guard your feelings. By that, I mean try not to take everything personally. If you are a feeling dominant in particular (and you sound like one), it’s doubly difficult not to feel hurt all the time by careless remarks, but... you don’t want to walk on eggshells around people all the time (and shouldn’t have to) and the same is true for them. Remind yourself that it’s likely they did not mean to hurt your feelings and ask yourself if that offhanded remark is really worth feeling upset about. I heard something good the other day from a 9 that I really liked -- she said, “Ask yourself if this will matter in a week.” If not, don’t sweat it.

Keep searching. You will find people who want to talk as much as you do. Right now in particular there is a lot of lonely people out there who want friends. :)

Sorry for bothering, but I was wondering what the differences would be between a 6 and a 4? (Sorry in advance for this being long)

For a while now I’ve been having trouble with finding out my enneagram type. About a year ago I would constantly take tests and over-analyze everything I did to the point where I was be too afraid to do anything because it would be more like one type than another. For a good chunk of the year it’d be on my mind, I was constantly reevaluating myself because I was afraid of being the wrong type, I wanted to know myself better but was afraid that everything I had known had been wrong all along.  

I only recently found out that enneagram tests aren’t that reliable, but for a while I would get 4, 6, and 9. In real life I have really bad anxiety I take medicine for, so I always dismissed 6 being a possibility since I thought it didn’t mean literal anxiety. I wasn’t 100% on being a 4, I always felt out of place growing up but I never had the strong need for wanting to find my identity (until my big identity crisis about a year ago). I really only considered being a 6 after reading a post not that long ago. It talking about the healthy/unhealthy versions of the head triad. Reading the unhealthy 6 description felt like a punch to the gut, I realized that year long period of me being anxious sounded a lot similar to a unhealthy 6. But after reading about the healthy 6, I wasn’t sure if I related as much as before. A lot of stuff I find makes it sound like 6s are rigid think of nothing but security and are always panicking, which didn’t feel quite right. The doubt grew more when I’d read infp 6 descriptions, I’d find parts I could identify with but would feel unsure about. 

In one of the infp 6 descriptions, it said that they often have rigid morals that they are very strict about. There are a things I do care extremely care about, but a lot of the time I find myself questioning the things around me. One day I might feeling strongly about something only to find myself hesitant and unconfident the next. Sometimes my family will think something is/isn’t safe/a good idea, only for me to butt in and say why it might not be. My family calls me a real downer and will get onto me for not having fun, even though I’m just saying that something might not be a good idea or that something isn’t a big of a deal everyone is making it out to be. Which I feel like could be a 6 thing, but there are times where I will overlook things or dismiss something because I don’t see it as a real threat…

——————————-

You are a sp/so 6w7 (694? sounds like the rabbit hole of self-doubt, re-analyzing, and swirling around the bowl second-guessing decisions of the 694). Over-analyzing, approaching figuring out your type from a “head” space (thinking, rethinking, analyzing, doubting, distrusting), being inconsistent in your views and changing, waking up and seeing the other side the next day, etc, are all correlated with the “busy brain” of the 6w7, which experiences self-doubt at trusting its own instincts and is looking for a truth to hold onto.

sp/so 6w5 SJ 6s think a lot about security, but an NFP 6w7 would not, since there’s always that element of “it might go wrong…” from 6 followed by Ne + 7 “eh, it’ll be fine, I’ll worry about that later” distracted-ness (poor Si planning skills means leaving dealing with stuff you don’t want to think about, especially boring stuff like insurance or buying enough noodles to last through the zombie apocalypse, for later).

As a core 6w7, I can confirm that your uncertain thought process is pure 6 – I deal with this sort of thing (being super sure, then doubting it and thinking up alternatives due to the 7 influence/lack of a self-anchor) on a daily basis … and the reason I suggest 9 fixed is because there’s no sense of 1ish “gut instinct of what’s right” to calm any of that down, you are just … swaying in the breeze and not sure where to turn. And I know too well that uncertainty and angst tied to possibly being the wrong type, misrepresenting yourself, being wrong about yourself, and not being able to tackle “who I am” from a place of instinct.

6s are not balls of anxiety all the time, just cautious, inconsistent, contrarian, argumentative, have a trust/distrust push and pull with anxiety, and security-seeking. Most of the time, I’m good-natured and of the “eh, who cares? it’ll be fine” mindset. I bounce back and forth between irrational idealistic optimism (Ne + wing 7/9 fix) and pessimistic predictions.

In a nutshell, a core 4 isn’t over-analyzing. At all. It’s all about reacting to the world on an emotional/identity level and screaming to the rooftops that whatever the world is selling, or you are trying to bring to them, is “not me” – so the problem the core 4 falls into is rejecting everything outside it, and trying to construct an image for other people to respect based on the broken pieces of themselves. They broadcast an aesthetic of brokenness and being misunderstood and envy for the beautiful life others have, that they cannot seem to find, due to their chronic dissatisfaction with life and their refusal to allow themselves to accept simple joys. Think Anne Shirley, who cannot quite find total happiness at Green Gables because she sees herself as “ugly and freckled” and she has red hair, which she hates. She has love and a home and a family, but dammit, her life is still ruined because of her red hair. She is doing that 4ish envy of wanting what others have (dark hair, beauty) and allowing that to define her, while at the same time being arrogant about her intelligence, and escalating into loud emotional displays tied to her identity. The 4 copes with their sense of feeling like an alien born to the wrong family (therefore a burden to everyone) by trying to transform it into an image of elitism, to make themselves feel better (”I may not be wanted or understood or needed, but at least I don’t have plebeian interests like the rest of you!”).

4 fixes, as I have witnessed them so far, can either fall into stubborn displays of “that is not me, and I will not conform to what you want, and you are not more broken and therefore unique than I am” (with a reactive core), or softer, quieter sense of internal brokenness that cannot be fixed, which makes them someone no one can love (with a quieter core – 9w1 for instance, or a higher 9w1 fix). But they will always manifest as some sort of turning to others and showing them your brokenness, that piece of yourself that you are sure nobody can love, and half-expecting rejection for it. It can also fall into criticism of the people you love for no real reason other than “disdain” and the 4ish tendency to long for things you cannot/do not have (and if you got them, you might not want them and/or find them tarnished in some way).

The good thing about being a 6 is now you KNOW what you are doing (over-analyzing needlessly) you can start catching yourself doing it, and remind yourself that you think too much and should just “act” more. You can learn to breathe and center yourself in your body and ask yourself what YOU think and feel and want about a situation rather than seeking external input. You have to work at stopping the cycle of over-think and don’t have to face the unenviable 4 task of realizing you do not have to construct an identity out of an un-fixable sense of brokenness and chronic dissatisfaction.