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ftmtftm · 4 months

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I've been scrolling through your blog, and I saw your post about discussing the racialized nature of gender. As someone who has several transmasc POC friends, and someone who's a nonbinary POC themself, I wanted to give my 2 cents.

It's important to understand that "woman" in the "man vs woman" gender binary is a colonialist, white supremacist construct, especially in Western countries where you are the numerical minority. My trans friends aren't on T, they haven't gotten top surgery, we are all quite young. But they all have numerous stories about being addressed as "sir" which brings them euphoria but as one person said, while we were making fun of the amount of white people in our club, "Due to my race and skin color, I get masculinized."

And again I'd like to emphasize, that since we're young, none of us really have medically transitioned due to financial and familial barriers. Their hair is long, our binders we definitely have notable chests, and even if they dress masculine, it's notable that no one in our communities would ever gender us properly. It's often white people calling them "sir." Again, I think this reflects how gender performances in mainstream queer communities are deeply White. Like, trans boys talk about having haircuts, but only one of my friends has that wavier, more manageable hair that will help them pass. When you've got curly/kinky hair, the standards are different. For a white person, what's the difference between a "girl" Afro and a boy "Afro"? White cis people have a harder time identifying us, and literally talk to any black girl, and they'll tell you about being mocked, dehumanized, and called "manly".

I don't have much else to say. These are just my personal experiences. But if you want to be an ally to POC in the queer community, this is why it's so fucking important to bring in colonialism/imperialism/white supremacy into discussions of queer liberation. My biggest gripe with ignorant white queers is when they ignore their white privilege, and act like "cishets" (AKA the patriarchal system regulating sexuality and gender) is the only enemy. Because cishet POC deal with plenty of shit with being infantilized, masculinized, feminized, seen as brutish & dangerous, the list goes on. Doberbutts had a post saying, "Believe me, your family's going to care more about me being black than my queerness." towards his white partners. Acknowledging and creating a framework that centers these intersections of queerness and race into your beliefs is true allyship. This is why if you're not anti-imperialist, anti-capitalist, ACAB...I do not think you care for queer liberation. None of us are free until all of us are free.

Please don't view this post as an attack. But this is my perspective, and I thought you'd be receptive to me sharing my lived experiences.

Oh I absolutely don't view this ask as an attack, and I really appreciate you bringing these things up because you're right! Like, just very plainly: You are right and your and your friends lived experiences are extremely important to the conversation on the racialized aspects of gender.

It gets me thinking about where Misogynoir and the social White Fear of Black manhood intersect for Black trans men in particular. Because Black women and Women of Color in general are masculinized by White gender standards and the ways in which Black trans masculine people are gendered in alignment with their identity is absolutely not always done with gender affirming intent. In fact, it's often actually done with racist intent or is fueled by racist bias when it's coming from White people or even from non-Black POC.

That's kind of restating things you've said but differently, it's just such a topic worth highlighting explicitly since it's extremely relevant to the conversation that's been happening about Male Privilege here the last few days.

I do think I know exactly what @doberbutts post you're talking about and yeah. It's just truth. It's something Black queer people have been talking about for ages in both theory and in pop culture (my mind immediately goes to Kevin Abstract and "American Boyfriend") where Black queer/trans identity is both materially different from (neutral) and is treated differently from (negative) White queer/trans identity in multitudes of ways and those differences are worth sharing and exploring and talking about.

Genuinely, thank you for sharing! I try really hard not to lead these kinds of conversations outside of explicitly referencing back to non-White theorists because I don't particularly feel like it's my place to do so, but I will always provide a platform for them because they're extremely important conversations to be had.

#asks #anon #racialized gender #male privilege #transandrophobia

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luonnonvalinnat · 8 months

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I enjoyed your art and fluffyvenom family stories and I want to support them. But I feel like I can't. I am okay with non-binary/trans characters, but when you push a non-binary/transgender identity on a CHILD character, that makes me feel really uncomfortable. Children do not have the maturity to understand gender identity and any choices regarding it should be made when they are of age. When they are able to understand what it means and the life changing decisions that are involved. Decisions that can be irreversible. Changes that one might not agree with later in life and regret. Cathy should be non-binary as a grown adult as she would be mature enough to fully decide who she is, not at 10. I cannot call her "they" because she is only a child.

Okay. So

I'd suggest to anyone who feels this way to read more about the whole topic, since I'm sure there's a lot better written and more in depth sources out there. I can only try my best to give a satisfying, if maybe a brief response, while trying not to spend a whole week writing some hot mess of an essay about non-binary identity.

First thing first, a lot of the "gender identity should not be pushed onto kids" stuff stems from people conflating gender identity with sexuality

Which

Are COMPLETELY different things

Like NO.

So ok one can't call a kid "they" cause they're only a child, and not an adult, because "trans/non-binary kids are too young to know/decide what they are, they might change their mind later".

Most sources I've seen show that over 70% trans kids start to experience gender dysmorphia around the age of seven. Of course let's say a 13-year-old and older kids and teens would have a more advanced understanding of different gender identities and a better access to terminology and stuff, but are they still too young to "decide" what they are since they arent grown adults?

Children, pre-teens, teens and adults all do have an understanding of gender identity, but they all differ, obviously. Trans/non-binary people, no matter their age, can determine the crucial thing that is what makes them feel comfortable and good about themself, and what upsets and irks them.

As for the "life changing decisions that can be irreversible" that would come from not identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth... I'm,, getting the impression that you're referring to the actual gender affirming via healthcare...? Which btw is not performed on younger children. And is something that only starts to become relevant to think about when one enters puberty, at the earliest. And I am in no way saying that a person stops being a kid once they enter puberty or anything of sorts, but we all probably know what absolute hellhole surrounds this topic around the world and frankly I don't think I'd want to bring that to my dumb art blog.

I think all I can say about that is that it's a matter that's completely different and unique to every person who's identity falls under the trans umbrella. I feel like I can really only speak for myself. Im non-binary myself, and also person that isn't very keen to share much details about my personal life here. Cathy is not a perfect reflection of myself, even if they hit pretty close to me, especially adult Cath's character.

The thing is

Yeah, sure, a child saying that they feel or don't feel certain way can very well be a phase, but that's fine. Figuring out who you are literally consists of phases, they're parts of a journey. A journey that is different for everyone.

Of course a kid's identity, gender and otherwise is bound to change as they get older. Heck, even if a person identifies with the gender they're assigned at birth their whole entire life without ever having to give it much of a thought, their understanding of gender identity, their own and otherwise, still keeps changing through time. Figuring out who you are starts very early and goes well into adulthood and way past the age when it's considered you're "mature enough to decide". In the end, shutting down a kid trying to figure themself out is bound to do more damage than being willing to hear them out.

Tldr: non-binary kids exist and are valid. I am in no way an authority or a perfect encyclopedia

Alright

Now I think I wanna get my thoughts out about Cathy spesifically

If I ever wrote a bigger story about them (which I'd like to) the following stuff would be part of it. This might not be crucial to all that stuff mentioned before, but I feel like it's something that would be nice to add here, y'know

Some other kid might ask Cathy "wait, so, are you like a boy or a girl?" perhaps completely innocently. They don't really know what to answer.

They think they're supposed to answer "a girl" that's what everyone around her has treated her as their whole life, but something about that just doesn't feel like... themself. They feel like they like plenty of more "boyish" clothes and stuff, but answering "a boy" does not feel right either. Cathy has briefly wondered if she could actually be a boy instead, since they know that's possible, but no. It's something like both, or neither, or some third thing? Either way, it's like this feeling in their gut, that they are... something. Something that they can't quite put their finger around.

Whenever Cath voices this feeling they're usually met with "Oh, you're just a bit tomboyish, doesn't mean you aren't a girl" and that she just shouldn't think about stuff like that, but that doesn't make that feeling in their gut go away. If anything it makes them feel worse. Like whatever they are feeling is wrong, and others know better than they do, even if they aren't willing to listen thoroughly.

But when this happens with Cathy's new foster, - later adopted parents, they instead react with something more like: "okay, there are plenty of people who feel that way, some of our own friends have similar experiences." And that makes Cath feel surprised, and a lot better.

Someone, for the first time is willing to hear them out and explain that there are more options. And later they get to meet people who went through the same feelings when they were young, and hearing those things makes her feel even better.

Cathy asks if it was possible that they too, could be someone who is neither a boy a girl. "Sure it is, and you have plenty of time to figure out what suits you the best." Cath then asks if it was possible for them to actually be treated in that way? Not as a girl nor a boy but what they really feel like they are.

Cathy's fine with being referred to with terms like "daughter" or "little sister" on occasion, their name doesn't bother them, they do not mind being called "she" every now and then by people (which by the way are things absolutely valid for non-binary folks I gotta mention, many labels fall under the enby umbrella, and in the end Cathy feels like non-binary is what just feels most like themself)

They now have adults around them whom they feel like they can trust and tell everything to. Who would be ready to correct someone mistaking them for a boy, even when that person insists "well why does that kid dress like one then", or says that " "they" is not a correct way to refer to a person in the english grammar".

And Cathy's reminded that what matters the most is this moment and what feels good right now, and that they will always be loved unconditionally.

#really tried my best with this. english is hard and putting thoughts into words is harder

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liskantope · 9 months

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Back in late 2020 I made a post which mentioned as a side comment the impression I get from a lot of the more aggressive SJ people that writing/saying a lot (e.g. writing long, nuanced, qualifying, and/or perhaps defensive-sounding responses) is seen as evidence in and of itself of being wrong in the argument, specifically the type of wrong that comes from a position of privilege (I thought a little later I wrote a short post focusing only on this, but I can't seem to find it now). The example in the above-linked post is in the strangely-proportioned screenshot, where someone who is being attacked for not bowing down to the Correct political opinions keeps responding with lengthy, articulate, nuanced comments (which include some acknowledgment of her own weaknesses) and is met only more vehement attacks declaring checkmate explicitly on the grounds that her comments are long. The end of the exchange happens when she leaves a comment raising her eyebrows at being attacked for long-windedness, and the entirety of the response is "...you and your privilege". It's a finale that's stuck with me.

I was reminded of this today when an unexpected spurt of activity showed up on my Tumblr: an activist with whom I got into a contentious exchange well over two years ago for some reason chose now to abruptly reblog a several of my lengthy responses with pithy remarks (okay, plus one which includes a link to her own independent blog post about it which I don't think I'd seen before), and a minor flurry of likes and replies followed. I don't care to reblog any of this now, or even link to it, because my getting into that debate is something I'm really not proud of: the topic is not a hill I want to die on, and I dislike my awkward defensiveness and repeated apologies and semi-retractions. If I'm going to spend time and energy arguing something really controversial, I would rather it be a discussion where I can be really incisive and not catch myself arguing carelessly and sloppily and feel the repeated need to step back and clutter everything with caveats and apologies. But, if you are curious, I was defending a YouTuber I respect from being cancelled for being Problematic, and this exchange happened in spring of 2021.

The one new bit of substantive information for me coming from today's activity is the link to a separate blog post written at the time, which further confirms that there's no point in me continuing to defend that YouTuber to this activist: apparently among the list of things that makes this YouTuber's case worse and confirms their guilt are (1) publishing an earlier video which made all of the exact right points but which (surprise, surprise) got noticed by more people than a written article by a lower-profile person from the Relevant Marginalized Group making essentially the same points, (2) acknowledging that the Relevant Social Justice Cause is a good one and including a link to a fundraiser, and (3) momentarily sighing with a slight look of exasperation when first bringing up the accusation of being Problematic in a video. (Sorry I'm continuing to be vague here.)

Continuing to argue with this activist would be a waste of time, since our rhetorical values and norms are clearly too far apart for us ever to reach each other. Looking at it makes me grateful to have found a part of Tumblr that does share my basic notions of how discussions should work.

But what strikes me most of all is how my lengthiness itself is somehow treated as evidence of my guilt or wrongness or privilege or something. One of my lengthy reblogs got met today with a single sentence mocking it as a "dissertation" and managing to weirdly characterize my thesis without explanation, while another later one got met with "Have you considered just.... never talking again? Because you are not good at it." Again, these little zingers were fired off probably within a few minutes earlier today, in response to things I wrote back in spring of 2021.

That's the exact same kind of back-of-the-hand dismissal that I mentioned above having witnessed done to someone else (with the "...you and your privilege" comment). It reads like "This person talks too much, that's how you know they're in the wrong, so no need to address any of their points, if I smack them with a one-sentence response saying 'Haha that just further confirms you're wrong!' then I win."

And it's like, usually I consider my ability at cognitive empathy to be quite good, but it's hard for me to figure out what the other party is actually thinking in a situation like this: I can sort of get my head around not respecting nuance in certain selective situations and thinking the ability to feel nuance is a sign of privilege or something, but I can't quite figure out how they justify these one-sentence blanket dismissals on the grounds that the other person's comments are too long without imagining that they must be aware on some level that they're just being domineering-in-an-internet-way and deliberately going for a cheap and empty slam-dunk. This isn't very charitable, but honestly I have a hard time understanding such people's motives any other way.

#vagueposting #discourse #social justice

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cidthesquid · 3 days

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Today is the Day - Style Savvy : Styling Star #01

We've finally reached the last game of the series:

If this is your first time reading my blog, Welcome! I'm playing through this entry for the first time, and will be talking about my experiences, while sharing some related person stories (if relevant) If you've already played them all, maybe I can give you a different perspective on your favorite entry! My format can get a little word-y, so if you're mainly just here for the screenshots, that's 100% okay too! Enjoy this blog however you'd like

Here is a brief summary of my thoughts on the other entire thus far:

Style Savvy DS: I have yet to finish this entry, so I won't speak a ton about it, Fun to pick up and play, really nice art style, really amazing for it's time.

Style Savvy: Trendsetters: Feels like a much more refined version of Style Savvy DS Has a laser like focus of on Dress-up and shop management. But sadly other elements, even the really fun fashion contests, can feel a little repetitive, due to lack of feedback/felt progression.

Style Savvy: Fashion Forward: (My Fav!) Significantly more variety than 'Trendsetters' But at the cost of focus. It feels like a borderline 'life-sim' game, with the exploration and socializing. Mens fashion and fashion contests are gone, and cosmetics are harder to unlock. But with the options to design (recolor/pattern) your own original outfits, as well as act as a hair stylist and makeup artist, You can really give customers a full makeover, and there's always more to do!

My Hopes for Styling Star: In short, I'd really like this to be a mix of the other two 3ds games. The easy to measure linear progression of trendsetters, with the variety and customization of Fashion Forward. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Day 01-

All three games have wildly different intros This time, we're having our uncle help us move in into our new town, he owns the local boutique, subtlety labeled as 'My Shop', and invites us to visit. (hmm, I wonder if this will be ours someday.)

ok, so it's actually called 'Timorrow', not much better, and it looks like we'll be living in the room above it. After a brief introduction, you're able to design your character:

Once again, Style Savvy proves to have one of the best character designers I've seen, with tons of options! (and unlike even some other more modern Japanese fashion game, darker skin tones!)

The art style this time around, kinda favors pastels, so skin tones will look different, But overall, I still like the new art style! Anyways,Here's my final look:

(sorry, recorded that gif at only 5fps D: other gifs should be smoother)

While live blogging this all out, I do notice that this 'Styling Star' version of my characters looks quite a bit different, maybe it was my choice of eyes, the new skin shader or something else. I think I'll stick with design, though, and see if it grows on me, There is a program you can use to backup, edit and transfer character appearances for both 'Styling Star' and 'Fashion Forward', so worst case, I could just import my previous avatar. ------- Anyways, after completing the single tutorial customer, we're told that our uncle is leaving the shop to us so he can follow is dreams. And next we're given the chance to choose one of six shop assistants:

We had these back in 'Trendsetters', But I don't remember them doing much, they did not make sales for you, or handle checkout, So maybe their role will be expanded in this game.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- And with that, We're all ready to start the game:

It seems like they've split the tutorial in half, only teaching us the essentials before allowing us to save, tryout makeup, and explore bit. Oh, and it also looks like this game ads.. Nails Customization?

(I wish there was a way to preview your whole character with the nails, it can be a little trick to coordinate only being able to see your hands, and not the outfit or face. 'My Debut! - MODEL Debut 3 #nicola' found a way around this, having the character simply hold their Hands in front of their face, (but maybe that came out later. The 'Look Book' is also expanded, as now it includes the option to fully preview and name your outfit:

(The icon will still only show one piece.) Once I leave the apartment, I can explore a selection of the city, with a few key points of interest:

I stopped by the baker first, and got some decorative baguettes, Then, even though it was not marked, with an '!' I stopped by the shop.

You get a brief introduction to your assistant, as both of you check out the shop for the first time, They actually comment on the state of the shop, and you can ask them how they met your uncle, It's pretty cool to actually have an assistant who feels like their part of the narrative this time around, they even have dialogue. After our chat, we get our first customer, (part 2 of the tutorial) and we're treated to more fun Style Savvy dialogue:

It looks like the 'Multi-search' thing from 'fashion forward' is back, where you can specifically search for a color, image, brand and more (with new options), to help really narrow down your choices,

And a new 'Search by order' function is added too! The apartment remodeling From 'Trendsetters' returns, merged with 'Fashion Forward's decoration options.

You can now even stack smaller items on surfaces such as dressers and desks. And while both games let you remodel your shop, there were only a few fixed designs you could pick. Fashion forward added a few placeable items spots, But Styling Star, allows you to fully design your shop, just like you would your apartment!

And you'll also have a scrapbook for this, so you can save your favorite layouts! I've been really enjoying this free-form prologue, but since we can't by close yet, let's progress the plot. So next stop...Nin10 Productions!

(Nin-ten Pro? I see what you did there) So we learn a little more about the town, and we're told to track down the president of the company. So after I leave, I walked around a bit, visited the park, and talked to more characters, before deciding to return to the shop. After helping a few more customers, my assistant explains the 'try it on' mechanic, where you can recommend an outfit/item more strongly.

As with previous games, it's a gamble where if you're wrong the customer leaves the store, But it makes them more likely to give the item a shot, and if they like you get a flashy response and bonus funds:

And it looks like another new feature has been added,

"I'll just restock" is a new option that puts the customer on hold until you can get the item they requested, and when combined with the new 'Check Stock', you'll always know if you have what they're looking for, before you agree to help! It's such a simple and effective solution, it's kind of hard to believe that in previous games, you just had to turn them away, and wait for them to show up again later:

The shopping experience is streamlined too:

The layout is better, it's faster and easier to add items to your cart, and you can even have the brand rep recommend items! --------------------------------------------------------------------- Alright, I think that's a good stopping point for today! So far my opinions of this game are very positive! It seems to offer the variety I liked from 'Fashion Forward', with the structure from 'Trendsetters', and still manages to find ways to improve the positives of both! I can't wait to play more!

See you all next time!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-Thanks for reading! I had a lot of fun making this, so I hope you had fun reading it as well.

As always, all comments, questions, and suggestions are welcome! (I'm also looking for feedback on this new style, how's the formatting, too many Gifs?)

You literally can't bother me, (unless you go out of your way to be a jerk), so post whatever you need to say!

#syn sophia #fashion game #style savvy #style boutique #3ds #new style boutique #trend setter #stylesavvy #style savvy ds #nds #nintendo #styling star

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darkfictionjude · 12 days

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Etymology nonnie here! I wanted to share some thoughts.

The kiss poll was not surprising to me in the slightest. But I don't know if it's entirely based on us players wanting to remain chaste and virginal, saving our MC for the RO's. That is, I'm not sure the only reasons many are holding back is due to loyalty/devotion to an RO. There are other motivations.

1. While the game and the blog seem open when it comes to sex and sexuality discussions, I do not feel compelled to explore that aspect of MC so far. At least, not with other people. What I mean is that MC potentially masturbated for the first time just now. Going for the 'how life', as fun as it may be, feels like a way too big of a step. MC is basically just discovering their own personhood and sexuality. And personally, I do feel a bit protective of my MC. Not because I want to infantalize him (I will point out, once again, that my MC is male), but rather because I would prefer he explores himself by stages.

That said, the kiss in particular is not sexual. It cannot be. But is a big step in the sense that it requires interacting with someone else. So, at least I would prefer my MC to have some more time to explore and understand himself prior involving anyone.

2. The nature of the kiss itself is not really arousing nor fun. We are pretending to date someone, who we are very well aware does not, nor can, feel romantic love nor desire towards MC. Worse, my MC is also gay. So the kiss, other than being an act, would not be enjoyable for any party involved. Especially so because you can be successful on the pretense without it. So, it's not even a necessary evil.

After all, for me, what makes fake dating such a fun trope to be involved in, is the potential of the fake turning true. Here, that's not possible nor desired. And, at least for me, the potential for personal growth MC can get out of the kiss is null. Now, I may be wrong. I didn't try the kiss. Yet I do recognize the kiss can be relevant on the long run if it helps an MC realize why the kiss may not be enjoyable. Or if they realize they fancy a particular gender that Charley is not a part of. That said, the game already allows MC to feel lust for an RO that may be the same gender as MC. Therefore, the kiss is not really that significant of a moment when it comes to the realization of sexuality. It has the potential to, of course. Yet, I don't see my MC needing it.

3. Charley is already in a relationship. The whole point of the pretense is to allow Charley escape with their beloved. So, for me, the kiss feels a bit icky. Not to say I won't try to experience cheating or adultery within the realm of IFs. There are some where it's inevitable (so many have an arranged marriage plot, and most of the RO's are not the arranged spouse). But, since there is no pleasure to get from this specific kiss, then what's the point? It's not even angsty, since it's not going to affect Charley's relationship.

Now, I do realize I do sound overly critical of the kiss. But that's not my intention. I understand its inclusion, and I wouldn't mind going for it in a future playthrough just to see how it is. Truth is, however, I only tend to go for different playthroughs on IFs that are finished. Here we are too early into the story to feel much compelled to experiment. At least, in my case.

After all of this, I'd like to say I'm not someone who necessarily goes for chaste MC's. It entirely depends on the particular IF, and who the MC and RO's are. For example, When Life gives you Lemons is written in such a way being involved sexually with all of the RO's feel almost like the intended thing to do. It's such a horny IF. So living my best hoe life in that IF, and other with similar vibes, is something I enjoy and can justify to myself. It makes sense given the world and the characters.

Now, compre that to an IF where the MC lives in a more restrictive society. Say, a fantasy medieval world (which is rather common). And the MC is a sheltered and/or controlled individual, either because they are raised to be a weapon. Or they are prisoner for most of their life. Or simply because their behavior is heavily monitored, and sexual liberty can have serious if not nefarious consequences. Would I go for a sexually active MC in such worlds? Most likely not. I do enjoy, I think, the idea of MC's who are incredibly capable and experienced in the battlefield, but have no experience whatsoever when it comes to romance and sex. I love the juxtaposition. Like, the amount of times I have played MC's that are dutiful and effective combat machines but bashful and incompetent when it comes to love is ridiculous.

And, for this IF in particular, I just don't see myself whoring my MC around as of yet. Maybe in Season 2 (yet I think is unlikely, since by then my MC will be hopelessly in love with Imre, so he will have no interest to be with anyone but Imre himself, even if my MC will not know if it will ever be possible). Since in that season MC would be more mature and have a bigger understanding of their own body and sexuality. And I would understand taking the step to interact with others in a sexual or romantic way.

Let's put it like this. I would probably be more willing to go for kisses, flings and things like that in this IF if we weren't playing as MC. For example, if I played as Imre, I probably would be a proper hoe. Yet, if I played as Lorcan, I wouldn't because I don't see Lorcan being that sexually active. In part because I think he is not really good at seduction (his charm comes from how pathetic he is, although I'm sure he would deny it). So, what I'm saying, is that the POV from where we play can also have a big effect on how sexually adventurous we behave in an IF.

But these are just my thoughts. I'm sure many would disagree. Perhaps, dear Jude, you yourself will have plenty of counter arguments. Although I'm not sure anyone but you will read this fully, since I do have the flaw of indulging on my verbosity. And unlike Sam, I'm not offering an interesting new idea that could easily develop into a completely different story.

Yeah I feel like the kiss is a potential for growth. First of all everyone has had that awkward first kiss, and second of all it can be contrasted for mc with the other kisses they will give the ROs and to notice how and why it was different. That’s a big step in sexuality deciding how things work and what you like. Honestly the kiss really isn’t a big deal as you’re making it out to be dear etymology nonnie 😭 it really lasts like maybe 5 seconds 😭

Although I will say some people in sexuality don’t go step by step they take a plunge which is equally valid

Hahaha that sam mention 💀

#etymology nonnie #the kiss #mc #we wretched creatures

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nevermoreconfessions · 22 days

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I'm...sorry for being back... PoeAnon.. But I got so damn curious about the staff that I went back to read Masque of Red Death and I have a few stretches I can make here to at least make a structure for theories. I think. THIS IS ALL WORD SPEWING DON'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY <3 also feel free to ignore if it's too long, I know I get ranty on accident (⇀‸↼‶)

First, things to notice in the story that might be significant/prominent in Prospero:

- The guests in the story avoided the black and red room because of the ebony clock and it's ambience.

- There are seven colored rooms, but purple and violet can be considered the same color family if you don't think about it much. I'm thinking maybe the "wings" represent each room? It has six spikes but the hourglass in the middle could be the 'ebony clock' ????

- In the story, Red Death is depicted as a man that then stabs Prince Prospero dead and maybe where the blood spewing from that one panel came from?

- Prospero has an ability that's to paralyze people and it seems like his watch is what controls that, maybe the connection is that in the story, the chime of the clock is so loud and demanding, it causes everyone including the orchestra to stop what they're doing??

- Also, I don't know if this is as relevant as I think it is but the last room was black woth red windows, it's the only one where the windows don't match the inside and since he is fully black but his eyes (windows of a the soul????????) are red- well... I don't know..

I've seen people debate each room's significance and I've seen purple being 'childhood' while 'violet' is old age, and since Prospero in spectre form uses a purple-ish hue, not sure if purple or violet more.... That could be significant? Anyway, this got waaaaayyyyyy too long but yeah, I felt stupid in my previous Anon so I went to do a bit of research and thought of sharing what I got thus far. Please lmk what you think!!

- PoeAnon :>

POEANON!!

So sorry for the late response, PoeAnon. I kept you waiting.

While most of my posts have extensive commentary, I'm going to let you keep the spotlight, here, since you have more Edgar Allan knowledge than me, but here's my tidbits of comments:

Oh, I didn't consider the wings before. That would be a very clever reference! And here I was thinking it was because of diseases...

As for the stabbing, you really spiked by intrigue. Prospero did seem to be stabbed in the neck, or slashed, so I'd make sense if his death reflected the story. The more I think about him, the more intrigued I am about his death. It's a complete mystery, to me.

You aren't stupid, PoeAnon. Our little communication has been my favorite moment on this blog. You're the only one who has a nickname, after all.

Wow, look at those windows to the soul. I'm enamored.

#nevermore confessions #nevermore webtoon #nevermore #prospero nevermore

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fandomshatefatpeople · 8 months

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hi! so, ik this blog is mostly about fandom stuff, but i was wondering if i could ask for some advice? basically, i'm a skinny person. bony and knobby and tall and always have been. but, my little sister who i adore and love with all my heart is fat, and considered unhealthily "overweight" for her age.

i firmly believe that "fat = unhealthy" is ABSLOUTE BULLSHIT, but i still find myself falling into some weird habits with her--such as resolutely avoiding mentioning that she might be in any way bigger than anyone else (as if it's a bad thing that should be avoided, even though i know it's not!) etc. i do my best to curb those tendencies, but i worry that it's not enough.

in addition, my dad (unlike me) DOES believe that she's unhealthy, and tries to restrict her eating (especially sugar). she's not getting a lack of calories or anything, so i'm not worried about it affecting her physical health too much, but i don't want her to develop a complex because when she was a kid she couldn't have more than one sugary snack a day.

there's roughly a sub-zero chance of convincing my stubbornest-man-on-earth aspie dad that she's not actually going to die of heart disease, so unfortunately i'm helpless on this front. still, if there's anything in particular i can do to support her through it, or if you have any particular advice, i'd love to hear it. it's really important to me to be able to be the best big sister to her i can be, and i worry about her a lot ever since i learned how hard it can be to be a fat person in our world.

thank you so much, and sorry for the long-winded message! any advice is appreciated <3

I want to start with an apology to all of the unanswered asks in my inbox. I started graduate school and am trying not to drown. With that being said, reading this ask tugged at my heart and I had to answer.

To be honest, I don't know how much this will help. I'm not an expert, I'm just a fat woman who thought she was a fat kid who's had to work through decades of fatphobia (internalized and external), but here's what I think might be useful. I would be so grateful for anyone to add helpful, non-fatphobic advice in the comments! Also, your mileage may vary depending on the age of your sister.

One thing that helped me was learning how absolute bullocks things like BMI measurements are. So for that matter is fat = heart disease. If you think you dad would be open to reading it, you could share this with him: Separate and combined associations of body-mass index and abdominal adiposity with cardiovascular disease: collaborative analysis of 58 prospective studies - PubMed (nih.gov) The most important part of this study, for our purposes is this bit, "Interpretation: BMI, waist circumference, and waist-to-hip ratio, whether assessed singly or in combination, do not importantly improve cardiovascular disease risk prediction in people in developed countries when additional information is available for systolic blood pressure, history of diabetes, and lipids."

Other things I think can help is not treating her any differently than anyone else. This sounds obvious, but if you are going out of your way to avoid comparing her size to anyone else's in a conversation where that is relevant then the message she hears could be one of "your body is wrong and I'm embarrassed to talk about it".

It may help to share with her your thoughts on fatphobia as a general topic, letting her know you recognize the value in diverse body types and sizes and how none is better than another. Just knowing that someone she loves and looks up to sees value in bodies like hers can mean a lot. Similarly, if you feel you have the ability to call out fatphobic comments do so, whether she's around or not. Just pushing back with something as simple as, "I don't believe in judging the value of others based on the size of their bodies" or "I don't think that joke was very funny" or even just an unamused stare, can send a huge message.

Another important thing is to be on the lookout for signs of dieting. Dieting is one of the worst things you can do to your health as years of yo-yo dieting are actually worse for your health than "being fat" ever can be.

Forgive me for referring back to my own previous work, but under the cut are some links that might be helpful to combat much of the negative messaging that comes when you are fat.

I am so glad you reached out and I wish you all the best as you support your sister and hopefully help her to thrive!

#mod amelia #fat acceptance #diets do not work #ask

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onehundredandeleventropicalfish · 2 years

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Hello I'm a new fan of your blog and I just wanted to ask your opinion on something Sandman related because I just love your takes and how they provide such an in-depth perspective. Before Lucifer asks Dream to cut his wings, he states that he is very tired and that is why he is quitting Hell, and that Dream states the same thing on the cliff to Death just before Morpheus dies. Can you share your thoughts on that?

i definitely can! (and thank you!)

so, this is the page you're talking about, yeah?

and we'll get to that in a minute, but first this has made me realise i haven't read the first couple pages of this issue since the first time i read them, before i knew how this would end

and wow i did not realise how early dream's suicidal nature was set up, bc this is only like. three issues after the show left off

so that's gonna be breaking my heart for a while!

but it's also exceedingly relevant, bc as i covered very explicitly here, dream hit the critical point with his depression centuries if not millenia ago. and the thing he clings onto to stay alive is nothing to do with anything he actually wants, it's the fact that he sees responsibility as utterly mandatory. he's exceedingly lawful, he will never do anything that would involve giving up or endangering the dreaming, no matter how much he wants to, that's just not who he is

(my personal favourite kindly ones panels illustrating that particular point)

but dream and responsibility comes up absolutely everywhere, if i was to list every single moment i'd be quoting half the comic

and because it's such a strong theme, he's placed in contrast with people who were in the same position, but made the selfish choice (note: i do not use selfish as a bad word here, it's a good thing in this situation, but dream cannot see that, as far as he's concerned choosing yourself over your duties is the greatest crime someone can commit)

first, as you said, we get lucifer. (arguably actually the corinthian, but, first explicit). and lucifer’s still mostly an antagonist, even if they have entirely relatable motives, and aren’t terrible to talk to. and lucifer leaves hell because they were exhausted, in a very similar way to dream, they’ve played the perfect part for billions of years, but they just can’t anymore, they have to choose their own well being, and dream gave them a convenient way out. but they specifically give hell to dream, because they promised to destroy him.

and dream and lucifer know each other very well. just as dream gets to pull lines like the dreaming of heaven one, lucifer knows exactly how much this all gets to dream. because lucifer’s in the same position, and dream is so chronically lawful that whatever choice he makes with the key to hell, lucifer will have won. change or die, right? the central theme of the series. either dream gives up his responsibility, and therefore fundamentally changes, or dream gets crushed under the pressure. either way lucifer wins.

and i don’t think lucifer wanted it to be one or the other, honestly. they get this line in kindly ones, clearly they do have some level of empathy for someone stuck in the same situation that just can’t get themselves out of it. as is always the way with lucifer, in any canon, their victory is always also a fall

then there’s destruction. and i won’t go into a full analysis of brief lives bc this post is getting long enough already, but he’s a really important part of this too. because he’s not an antagonist, he’s dream’s younger brother, he's not malicious or contrary and he's part of the family, which means that if he's in the same situation, he understands. and as much as dream may have interpreted it as betrayal, he didn’t leave to spite dream, he left to try and make a positive change in the world, and because he had to - continuing to be one of the endless just wasn’t feasible. like lucifer and dream, he's exhausted and something has to give. lucifer and destruction decided that would be their domains. dream has always placed that burden on himself. and destruction tries so hard to get dream to realise he can leave, he's always had the ability to leave, and if the pressure is killing him he has to. but, as destruction says, the hard part was always getting dream to listen

death in the show is also an interesting one. because there's that bit in sound of her wings where she talks about how she almost gave up and left, and dream just stops walking and stares at her

and given all the comics context that just reads as being absolutely unable to process that, because he always saw death as someone like him, someone who would always put her duty above herself. he can accept lucifer giving up and he can put destruction out of his mind but death is the person he most looks up to. so obviously (to his mind) she's perfect and has no flaws and that means she can't have ever felt the way he does, because he shouldn't feel this way, it's wrong and not what he was made for

(that's another huge problem of dream's. ignoring his own issues and not doing things that would help him cope because those are human things, endless shouldn't want or need them, this is childish and he just needs to get over it)

and like. one of the themes of sandman, i think, is honestly that this much power isn't healthy for anyone? none of the endless are okay, none of the angels are okay, very few deities are either. and they all have their different coping mechanisms, death's being one of the significantly healthier ones. she's the closest to human an endless can be, she's aware of her own needs and problems, and she no longer tries to solve things alone. she's been where dream is, but she got the endless equivalent of therapy, whereas dream is kinda putting all of his problems in a box and sitting on it so the lid looks like it's closed and not overflowing with trauma. and she tries so hard to get through to him, to get some of those strategies to stick in his mind, but ultimately, dream is not death. and her words are only a stop gap measure

which honestly, is the most compelling thing about tragedy, for me, and why those two kindly ones panels are my favourite. because a well written tragedy will give the protagonist a thousand ways out, the way to avoid this all has to be so easy. but the tragedy is built around its central character. and if that character were ever to take any of those ways out, they'd stop being themselves

#the sandman #sandman comic spoilers #ask #dream of the endless #lucifer morningstar #destruction of the endless #death of the endless #mine #meta

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mizukagami-takamagahara · 5 months

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Key Visuals for Mori's first game since BlazBlue, an as-of-yet untitled "action game" by Studio Flare

I don't know how much I will be following the coverage of this game on this blog. I've got no idea how relevant it will be to the BlazBlue series. Character designs we've seen lead me to believe it could be a spiritual sequel, but I could be proven wrong.

In another post I might take a closer look at these images and make some speculation. For today, I'd like to go over what we know about this upcoming game from the following articles:

Automaton Media

Gamer

Game Watch

Most interesting among these sources, in my opinion, was an interview with Mori himself discussing the ideology of Studio Flare as a game studio. I really like the way he and the team want to approach game design. As a creator myself, I share the same thoughts. I definitely recommend reading it if you're able.

Now, for the information we have from the above sources!

Mori describes it as a 2.5D "action game" with an anime style. Combat will not be turn based. The game will utilize the Unreal Engine.

At this time Studio Flare is still working to hire people for the game's team. They're hiring in several positions, but it seems like what they need most right now is more programmers.

The people at Studio Flare seem to want to be pretty transparent about their development process as they go through it. They want people to be able to share in the excitement of what they're creating. Ultimately, they want Studio Flare to approach all their games this way: regularly engaging with audiences about their projects, sharing the creation process, balancing listening to fan feedback and sharing their own visions. Mori describes this ideal method as similar to showing a friend a game you like, and asking them what they think about it.

In an interview, Mori teased that they may start sharing character designs and full game models as soon as they are finished and finalized.

The mystery Rachelface character from Mori's Twitter header image and his previous story concept post features in all of these images, indicating she may be the game's protagonist- though her outfit is drastically different, so this may be a different character.

Mori is actually the vice president of Studio Flare, as well as the head of Development/head Producer. The president of the company is Toshinori Aoki, known for his work on Muramasa: The Demon Blade and Daemon X Machina.

Studio Flare is being funded by NetEase, a company known for games like Identity V, Diablo Immortal, and Cyber Hunter.

Mori claims the goal of Studio Flare is to focus on making interesting, fun games, prioritizing creativity and passion above "making money."

#identity v #daemon x machina #cyber hunter #studio flare #blazblue #by toshimichi mori #mystery rachelface

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wifegideonnav · 2 months

Note

Okay, so I get that I think Tamsyn has said that while you can draw some clear parallels (Gideon is Female Dave, Harrow is Rose, Ianthe is Vriska), obviously Homestuck and TLT aren't one to one, in the same way that the two other big Would Not Exist Without Homestuck pieces of media, Kill Six Billion Demons and Undertale/Deltarune aren't one to one with it either. That being said. I would like to submit. Isaac is Tavros.

😭 that's so mean. to isaac. wtf.

i don't really see it but let me counter with:

babs is the tavros. obviously i've posted before about how his personality/aesthetic is similar to cronus ampora, but if you think about his relationship with ianthe, i feel like there's definitely some similarities to tavros and vriska.

now ianthe "being a vriska" is something i have a LOT of thoughts about, which i will. probably write out at some point. mainly, while they share surface level plot points and arm deficits, their motivations are very different. i've been holding off tho bc there's a lot we still don't know abt ianthe's motivations while the series is still unfinished. but in general, vriska is a child who has no idea what she's doing and just wants to be safe (although she thinks she wants to be important - and she does, but because she thinks that if she matters enough, she'll stop being vulnerable, both emotionally and physically), whereas ianthe clearly has some actual irons in the fire. (given what little we know about the tridentarii's parents and childhood, i could 100% see ianthe trying to protect herself in a similar way, but we just don't know enough to be sure.)

but to compare babs and tavros:

both the "some guy" wedged in between some very toxically codependent girlies

both killed (run through) with their own weapon by their counterpart in a mysterious facility during a very tense afternoon

you can't tell me that if it was relevant, vriska wouldn't be happy to chew on tavros (use his body for what she's trying to do)

both an intimate part of their counterpart's ascension, in opposite ways

that last point is the most interesting to me, because vriska's ascension involved her own death and ianthe's ascension involved babs's. vriska begged tavros to kill her, and he would not, leaving her to die alone and in pain, whereas ianthe had no qualms about killing babs. as we learn in the unwanted guest, babs's soul has had an effect on ianthe's - they are fusing, in a sense. compare that to the very brief existence of tavrissprite, whose constituent parts could not reconcile and merge. in the end, vriska has always been both obsessed and disgusted with tavros because the world has allowed him to be soft, and kind, and nonviolent - all things that she was never given the chance to be. whereas for ianthe and babs, they have always been fighting side by side, concealing corona's secret and managing third house high society.

so essentially, babs is a tavros who has been strong and active enough to both protect and support his counterpart. while ianthe killed babs because she needed power for whatever she has planned, and she is always going to prioritize coronabeth over anything and anyone else, she had no real beef with him and saw him as, if not an ally, then at least a means to an end whom she didn't mind being bitchy with in the meantime. meanwhile vriska killed tavros not out of necessity or duress, but because he had betrayed and abandoned her at her moment of greatest need and vulnerability, and then decided to be her enemy.

to be honest you didn't ask for any of this longass response lol but to be honester its my blog and i get to rant about vriska if i want 😌 i'd be interested to hear your case for why isaac reminds you of tavros tho! bc i seriously do not see it at this point lmao

#asks #hs

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askteamsunshine · 8 months

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happy munday! hope you're doing well :D this is your free space to ramble about something you've been wanting to. is it a game? an oc you love? the food you had yesterday? feel free to share something good that's on your mind, I'd love to know~

Happy Munday!! I hope you're doing well, too!!

Hmm, let's see...I've had Angel and Kenina as characters for a good handful of years now, and they mean a lot to me!! I know they may not be as interesting storywise because I don't feel the need to deviate too heavily from the plot of Explorers of Sky, but I did put a lot of thought into them!!

A fun fact about Angel that isn't really relevant to their character now since they don't remember it is that as a human, they used to be a Pokemon Ranger, so they adapted to helping Pokemon very easily without knowing why!! Although it's quite possible that Grovyle told them some of what they used to be like as a human and isn't suprised that they're dedicated to helping others even now. Oh, do note that they aren't from this world - they don't really specify the origin of the human from Explorers of Sky, but I do think they aren't originally from the ruined future. Again, it's not really important to their character now, but I do think about it some in regards to human!Angel.

Team Sunshine used to be called Team Foxtrot because...foxes!! But I did feel like Team Sunshine was more thematic, and the reasoning in-universe would be, besides them meeting at sunset on the beach, Kenina is a Fire-type (sun) and Angel is a Shiny Pokemon (shine)!! And as a reminder, Angel's fur Literally Shines, it sparkles, which I think is the case for all Shiny Pokemon in my canon because it allows Pokemon to have different colors while still making Shiny Pokemon special. This is because, you know, different blogs will have Pokemon that aren't their regular colors, but aren't Shiny, and I want that to be allowed and normal while keeping Shiny Pokemon distinct!!

Shiny Pokemon are Glittery Bitches!!

#;;phia noises #askcapital #YOU TOLD ME TO RAMBLE!! SO RAMBLE I DID!!

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marengogo · 2 years

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BANGTAN MYTHOLOGY - 1: Careless Whisper …

El Toro - by Bonobo [Black Sands]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Welcome, Welcome,Welcome!

Welcome to the first chapter of this new series, which I cutely like to call 「Tanogy」 (short version of Bangtan Mythology). A series where we will take well-known or I-had-no-idea “Jikook Myths”, and through thorough research, conducted by yours truly Marengo, who has a certified research fetish, not even gonna lie at all, educated guesses, and careful speculation where necessary, we will try and figure out if this Myths are “Nice, Keep Going!” (aka they are real facts), or “... Poison Apple” (aka they are NOT real facts), or even “Who, Are, You?...” (aka we still can’t tell if they are, or not, real facts). All clear? Perfect, so …

The first Tanogy is a Jikook one and it’s the following:

I’m sure we’ve all … read this before. Read because I couldn’t find any auditory proof of this ever being said, even though in the only piece I found where someone provided some sort of non-reliable source, said source was said to be a radio interview, hence, you’d want to at least hear it.

This particular “Radio source” tweet was from November 8, 2017, one of Jikook’s most famously believed anniversaries or simply GCFT for others but with a little bit of research you will see this sentence appear in many years, months, days all quoting the same sentence but still nobody really knowing where it came from. So, as I kept digging and I found out that the quote I screenshot at the very top, like the following, and many others all was posted on May 21, 2016 and were all reblogs from a blog named: 95HYYH.

95HYYH - They made their post on May 19, 2016:

Needless to say, being this the only seemingly relevant clue I had as I started my trail, I found this fact very interesting and decided to run with it probably being the main source of where the rumor started. Because of the 95 in the handler name I assumed that they might have been VMIN biased but still maybe thought jikook were a thing? Like many of us do with all our different biases. I was right on that, however as I still couldn’t find any actual reason, or source, on their blog I began to wonder “what happened on May 19, 2016?...”.

So I went on the bird app, which is usually bad for many things but I find it unfortunately excellent with regards to impromptu info of the time, it a basically a history book of seldom fact but mostly BS and besides BTS being spotted all over Norway/Sweden, for Bon Voyage 1, there seemed to be a bit of crumbs for VMIN very cute ones, but didn’t research their veracity and indeed Jikook … but it had nothing to do with our Careless Whisper.

VMIN crumbs on May 19, 2016:

JIKOOK crumbs on May 19, 2016:

That Jikook selca made the rounds that day and as I was reading through all the posts I found this one, of someone translating a PD who had described how this pic came to be. I thought it was really cute, so following is the link if you are interested:

So all that was, well and good, but I reached a halt and to be honest with you I was ready to call it a day considering 95HYYH the person that started it but not knowing why. Yet, as I am an insufferable perfectionist or at least i like to think my self as such, TRUST, I’m hella sloppy me all around I decided to make a one last, deeper, research and I found the following tweet dated June 23, 2015. … The game was afoot yet again LOL!

Keeping my calm, I was excited AF I began to check through the bird app to see if something relevant to Jikook had happened on this particular date, but NOTHING, NADA, なんでもない, ZILCH had happened that was relevant to the Careless Whisper and before I could finish asking myself another questions, the proverbial Newton’s Apple hit me in the head and I was brought to think of this moment:

LIGHTING BULB MOMENT part 1 Visual Kings who? I only know Min Yoongi:

LIGHTING BULB MOMENT part 2 (different angle):

This moment is often used in many jikook edits and it comes from SINCHON (신촌) FANSIGN which happened May 15, 2015. 2015 is what triggered this memory, also the fact that they were talking about sleeping probably whispered to the synapses in my brain that if anything, it would have been connected to this period in time.

… Now before we move on, during my search of the 2015 SINCHON fansign I found the following “jikook”, cause really it is JK and JM is also there, clip, which I found so cute, so I am sharing with y’all 🥹🥹. For the record, I could find any upload of the full fansign, there is a lot of HQ pictures but I’m guess that at the time people were not yet invested/capable rightfully so to fully film ANY BTS fansite:

youtube

Getting back on track, as I found nothing with regards to our Careless Whispers on the May 15, 2015 though I could have continued with my other trailed which would have eventually given me my solution 😬 I thought of looking through interviews prior to 2015 and found nothing. Then I’m not sure why I decided to look at the bird app feed between May 15, 2015 and June 23, 2015, but I did and following is a bit of summary of how it was in that almost month:

Still nothing as to where it all generated. Knowing the answer now in hindsight, I wonder if I couldn’t get to this answer earlier because I was trying to find it confirmed or because I didn’t know the actual whole sentence until I found that 95HYYH and then believed it was a conspiracy or most likely I felt like i was a spy in some mystery and didn’t want the search to end so quickly. So back I went to my original trail and you guessed it; a couple of searches later, I found the answer. The originally tweet that started it all back in January 16, 2015:

And so it is that I am confidently going to declare our first Tanogy as:

“... Poison Apple”.

NGL, this was hella fun, as I also got to know things of the Jikook of the past that I actually didn’t know. That aside, there is something fulling about going in search of truth and getting results regardless of them being what we hoped for or not; the truth is the truth and if you keep looking for it hard enough WHILE KNOWING YOUR BOUNDARIES, NOT OVERSTEPPING PEOPLE’S RIGHTS TO SAFETY AND RESPECTING EVERYONE’S PRIVACY eventually you will find it.

Always respectfully yours 💜🫰🏾,

Marengo.

#Tanogy #Jikook Myths #Jikook #Tanogy ... Poison Apple #Youtube

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maxinelugg · 5 months

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Mephistopheles Update #1 - Concept, Head and Hair

I'm excited to share some progress on my latest personal project, and I thought I'd write a blog post discussing some of my thoughts behind the project and breaking down some of the processes involved so far!

Concept & Project Goals

Almost a year ago, I had the idea to create two full 3D characters based on my own interpretation of the two main characters of a 1592 play by Christopher Marlowe, The Tragical History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus. These characters would be the titular Doctor Faustus, and his demonic companion, Mephistopheles (not to be confused with the Mephistopheles of the D&D Forgotten Realms setting), created to fit within the Renaissance Germany setting of the playscript. In the play, itself based on German legend, Faustus sells his soul to Lucifer in exchange for forbidden magical knowledge, supplied to him by a damned servant of Lucifer, Mephistopheles, who takes the form of a Franciscan friar. The idea of a deal with the devil, of selling one's soul or integrity in exchange for short-term material gain, often with eternally damning consequences, predates this play and the legend it's based on, but this story is still perhaps the most prominent example of this trope in the literary canon.

However, after a little while of letting the idea simmer, I'd decided to shelve it, as I felt it was somehow a bit odd to create a pair of character models based on a play from over four hundred years ago that hardly anyone had heard of. It wasn't until I was playing Baldur's Gate 3, several months later, that the idea returned to me. In seeing the many fantastic demon character models in that game, I realised I really, really, really wanted to revisit this idea. Suddenly, the project had life again.

Back when I first had this idea, I'd created some concept art for myself, as seen above. As you might notice, some things changed!

I liked a lot about this concept, but after time away from it, I'd realised the bright colour scheme, while definitely inventive and bold, and would read better from afar, might not be the most appropriate to the character, setting or premise.

Ultimately, later in this project, I plan to pose the character with some props (books, similar to those in the concept above). The pose will be different from that of the concept art, as I will try to push for something more dynamic. I will hopefully get to share some of the progress on this soon in the next blog post.

Gathering Reference

1. Photographic monk/friar reference material

Straightforward, simple photographic reference of a friar/monk's garments (habits) and accessories. These are contemporary photographs, but are nonetheless the highest quality imagery I could find. This will be most relevant later into this project when I begin to focus on his clothing and attire.

In the Marlowe play, Mephistopheles appears at first in his true demonic form, and is immediately demanded by Faustus to reappear in the form of a Franciscan friar instead, as the demonic form was too unsightly. It's implied that this new form of a friar appears very mundane, so I'm twisting the source material here to make him a demonic looking friar. Perhaps he has possessed the body of a human monk, but the demonic spirit inside has had an effect on the outward appearance, with horns bursting through his forehead and skin turned pallid.

2. Primary face references

While I was not aiming for a specific likeness, I wanted to gather references of quite gaunt and aged male faces. It turned out that Peter Cushing's face was especially good as reference, as he had the long, hollow-cheeked face anatomy I was after.

When it comes to faces, I always find myself returning to the main cast of characters from Dragon Age: Inquisition for inspiration (I also just love this game in general, to be honest). I find the character work in that game to be an excellent example of exaggerating facial anatomy just enough to convey and emphasise personality and character, but not so far as to feel uncanny, and to fit into the rest of the art direction of the game which is, for the most part, realistic.

I used a 3DScanStore diffuse and displacement pack for this project. All of the UVs of their heads and texture packs are the same, and they provide a free head base mesh (with the same UVs), which I wrapped onto the surface of the face highpoly sculpt using the SoftWrap blender addon (Other methods include Zwrap and even Houdini). After wrapping this face base mesh to match the base sculpt as closely and cleanly as possible, you can throw on 3DScanStore's displacement and/or diffuse maps onto the mesh, with the added benefit of now having much better face topology.

I really love this technique, as 3DScanStore's scan data is very good quality and straightforward to use. The diffuse map is an excellent base for texturing later. While scan data displacement maps can be useful as a finishing touch, it's important to keep in mind that a face still needs to read well at a primary and secondary form level before tertiary details are added.

3. Hair reference material

The hair provided a unique challenge. While the hairstyle was not complex, finding photographic reference for a tonsure was difficult. I ended up looking to a lot of historical paintings and illustrations. Using illustrations as reference has an added benefit of giving insight into how the hairstyle might be interpreted artistically, though this would be ideally supplemented by thorough photographic reference.

I sometimes find it useful to quickly sketch over a 3D work in progress to visualise my next steps (I did the same thing for my Guardian project!). It's a way of testing a visual idea without getting bogged down with how slow 3D iteration can often be.

I might revisit the hair a tad a later date once the character is posed, as I'm not totally satisfied with it. It might also be a chance for me to test how iterative and non-destructive I can make the posing process later on.

4. Horn surface details

Sometimes I like to find inspiration in abstract, natural textures and shapes, especially when facing a bit of an art block about a part of a design/character. As pictured above, the design for the horns changed a bit. The previous iteration was fine, but I felt it was reading a bit dragon-scale-like and I had, admittedly, failed to look at much ref for it, so it was feeling a bit uninspired. I could've changed them to look more like conventional goat/Caprinae horns, but I figured I might as well try how they'd look with a texture inspired by the bark texture pictured above. These shaped flowed with the direction of the horns, as if they'd grown directionally out of the head, which is something I'd wanted to evoke.

Pictured below are some other examples of abstract textures and shapes (generally from my mood boards, not necessarily for this project) that could be sources of inspiration when art block hits. It's very easy to get caught up in things and forget that a lot of art is fundamentally about shapes, colours and textures.

5. Spectacles

Simple ref for some wooden spectacles. My initial concept didn't include these, but as I began to design the design in 3D, I soon realised spectacles would be helpful signifiers of a scholarly archetype. Also makes him a bit more distinct as a character design.

6. Vibe Check

These paintings and illustrations, from a variety of time periods, will be more relevant later into the project when I think about my final presentation, but I keep them here in my Pureref as a reminder of imagery and a general vibe I'd like to try to evoke. This keeps me focused on a visual goal, which proves to be important when working on a concept that's changing frequently.

Developing Productive & Sustainable Habits

Before now, when I've worked on self-driven projects, they have primarily been for university assignments, which had a solid deadline, and I could work towards full-time. Since finishing university and starting a full-time job, figuring out how to weave in time for personal work, and how to push that work as far as I can visually, has been something to adapt to.

The following are various habits I've tried to make an active effort to implement to better achieve these goals:

Not waiting for inspiration to hit like a lightning strike, and instead scheduling time to dedicate to personal work. Obviously, the most rewarding experience in working on art is when you're in a flow state and completely lost in the moment, often right after you've made a breakthrough or are otherwise intensely inspired and moved to create. The kind of flow state where you look down at the clock and it's somehow already 3am. These moments are awesome, but are unsustainable to depend on in the long term. Making time, even if it's only a couple of hours at a time, over a long time, is better for your work and your life (at least in my case!).

Coming back to it with fresh eyes. Whenever I'm working on personal work, I like to take progress screenshots and post them in a personal Discord server at the end of every session I spend on it. This means I can look back at it on my phone or wherever whenever I need. And sometimes it's good to not look back on it until a day or two has passed, because with fresh eyes errors are glaringly obvious. In working on a face, like I have so far with this project, I found this to be especially important, as I'm still fairly novice at facial anatomy so my eye for what does and doesn't look right is still developing.

Seeking feedback. Admittedly, this is something I could've done better with this project so far, but getting input from others is invaluable.

Inspiration is more than the Artstation front page. This one is important, and I really mean it. It's a topic deserving of an entire blog post, but I think it's important for game artists to look beyond other games/game-adjacent media for inspiration. Watch fashion shows, go to museums, read some books, watch some documentaries, go to a contemporary art exhibition, watch some theatre - literally whatever. I recently read Lent by Jo Walton (and loved it) which, while I didn't read for this project, it ended up being massively inspirational; the book's detailed descriptions of the life of a monk in 15th century Italy reinvigorated me when I'd hit a lull with this work.

That's all for now (: I hope to be able to share more updates on this project soon! Thanks for reading!

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champagnepodiums · 1 year

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I know you said you weren’t answering lewis/george asks anymore but i’m not here to say inflammatory stuff so i’ll share my thoughts anyway if you don’t mind .. I have to say I’m pretty neutral on Mercedes in general (don’t love them, don’t hate them) and while I think Saudi Arabia had been blown out of proportion, him asking in bahrain “does lewis have problems or is he just slow” was a bit of a wtf moment imo haha. Also, and this is way more relevant to your blog in general, it’s very interesting to me the 180 turn that people have done when it comes to him. On one hand, he’s attracting an insane amount of vitriol that anyone close to lewis/toto/mercedes gets (let’s not forget that bottas was routinely clowned on until 2021 and now he’s everyone’s favourite mullet-rocking finnish). The same people that were calling lewis selfish for returning in the car after covid because “george deserved another chance” are now calling george entitled and nothing more than a pr robot. On the other hand being a merc driver has surely widened his reach but I’m not sure if the amount of fans he gained outweighs the so called haters? Because there’s definitely a portion of george supporters that’s nothing more than people who enjoy seeing lewis beaten so i wouldn’t exactly call them george fans. What do you think?

OH honestly, I was starting to get really emotionally charged anons which is why I shut it down -- not opposed to continuing the conversation about George/Lewis, but sometimes I can tell when things have the potential to get out of hand so I made that executive call last night but obviously since I'm responding to your anon, it's all good!! (And like, I do want to clarify that there is nothing with emotionally charged anons but sometimes I don't have the emotional capacity to moderate and the last thing I want is for things to get out of control).

That being said -- firstly, I thought George's question about if Lewis was having issues or just slow was a fair one lmao. The phrasing could've been a little less blunt but ya know.

THAT BEING SAID, as far as the pivot, I think that was going to happen to George no matter what because he is a threat to Lewis and like most fanbases of veteran drivers, his fanbase is going to attack at perceived threats.

i agree on your assessment that there is a swathe of people who support George who actually don't give a flying fuck about George, they just want to see somebody beat Lewis (they were Max fans in 2021 lmao).

A lot of it puzzles me, truly because George has been a pretty squeaky clean driver apart from the one incident with VB so like I struggle to understand the root of the vitriol for George because I think that has been brewing his entire career. (@paddockpr do you have thoughts on George?)

I'd love to hear thoughts on this

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