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sope-and-shine · 4 years

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Pregnancy Problems

-> Pairings: Hoseok x Reader -> domestic fluff // minor angst -> Word Count: 2.3k -> Summary: Don’t ask Hoseok if you need pregnancy advice. He’s still working on it. -> Warnings: mild language // pregnancy talk // talk about poop

A/N: I’m so happy to post this one!

Hoseok didn’t understand a lot of things about pregnancy. He didn’t understand how a person could go from absolutely despising snap peas to wanting to eat them all day everyday. He didn’t understand how cooking one piece of bacon is enough to make your stomach flop and send you waddling for the bathroom. He didn’t understand how your body was able to just make room for another human being and still have enough room for everything else you’re holding inside of it. And he definitely didn’t understand how you were able to go from happy-go-lucky love of his life to a sobbing pterodactyl in .03 seconds. But what really caught him off guard was you staring at the wall in front of you doing nothing for the past 45 minutes.

Now, he was no stranger to watching others space out. He’d watched his members stop and stare off into space plenty of times - he’d even witnessed Jimin fall off of his chair after spacing out for 10 minutes - but this was a little extreme. He’d called your name a few times, waved a hand in front of your face, and he’d even turned on your favorite playlist and started dancing. Whatever was plaguing your mind, it had you in your own little world where you honestly didn’t know he even existed.

It was kinda freaking him out.

Hoseok sits himself next to you, taking one of your hands in his to rub soothing circles into them, “Baby…? Are you okay?” It seems to be enough to knock you out of whatever you were in, but you’re still down about something. You don’t smile at him when your eyes land on him, and you look away almost as fast as you had laid eyes on him.

“I’m fine.” You mutter. The hand he holds is limp, but the hand still placed on your lap is balled into a tight fist. Whatever it was that’s bothering you must be serious if you’re really not going to tell him.

He hoped it wasn’t another fan trying to yell at you again, like when your pregnancy was announced to the world. Plenty of ARMY were so happy for the first BTS baby, but there were plenty that raged for weeks on end until he himself made a statement on the matter. He never intended to scold anyone - he wanted to leave it to BigHit - but when you were trying to hide that you’d been crying from him on multiple occasions, he refused to sit back and watch anymore. His statement in your defense was a huge deal on social media for weeks, and it even made headlines in international news! He’d felt bad about it after he’d posted it, wondering if he’d been too harsh or said something that shouldn’t have been said. But the hug that you gave him after coming to your defense, the joy on your face after reading the long note he’d prepared, and the kisses that you continued to plant all over his face was proof enough that he’d made the best decision for his family. If he had to do that all over again, then he was prepared to if it meant you’d be happy.

“Baby...are you being bothered by fans again?” He asks. It wasn’t like he didn’t know you still receive hate from time to time. He knew for a fact that you did, but you’d limited your social media habits to binging dramas on Netflix and Kocowa TV instead. He moves a hand to your hair and runs his fingers through it as a way to soothe the possible anxiety you may be feeling from it, “Just tell me. Whoever they are, they won’t get to keep saying things like that about you. I promise.”

“No, Hobi, i-” You try to defend them, the familiar protest right on the tip of your tongue. However, Hoseok wasn’t prepared to let you push the matter away. He wouldn’t let you fester in your insecurities because of others. Especially people that supposedly claimed to love him. He already had someone that loved him unconditionally; You. You were first and foremost his number one concern.

“-Baby, no. You don’t have to defend them just because they’re my fans. I won’t encourage their bad behavior.” He goes to take your hands in his own as a way to comfort you, but you turn the tables around and grab his instead. You squeeze his hands and give a small, forced smile in an attempt to comfort him. “Okay, but Hobi, it’s not about the fans.”

“It’s not?” Hoseok could feel the tension physically leave his body. He hated scolding his fans. He firmly believed that Namjoon and Taehyung were better suited for it and tried to let things slide when he could - save for the obvious. However, that didn’t take away from the fact that he still didn’t know what was bothering you so much. He was still in the dark about whatever had turned you into a wall of secrecy and solitude that wasn’t even penetrable to him. You were still hiding something from him.

“Then what’s wrong?” He asks.

You cast your eyes down, once again refusing to look at him with your hands losing their grip on his. You shake your head, “I don’t want to talk about it…”

“You’re worrying me, (Y/n). Please, tell me what’s wrong!” His right hand moves from yours to gently cup the right side of your face, his thumb gently caressing your cheek. Hoseok has always made a point to be gentle with you - even when you aren’t in the most gentle of situations - because he’s always wanted you to feel cared for and cherished. It’s how he hopes his sister is treated, and if you’re to have a daughter, that’s how he expects her to be treated as well. But right now, you need his gentle touch the most. “This type of stress isn’t good for the baby.”

You know he’s right. He’s always right. Even when he agrees that he’s wrong he’s usually right! That’s what you love most about him is his willingness to please you and make you feel validated. Of course, he’ll pull you back to where you need to be if you go off the deep end - what he happens to be doing now - but he knows you’ll always do the same for him when work gets complicated. He’s always loving and understanding and altogether the best boyfriend around, and you know he’ll be the best dad around when your baby is born. But it’s the uncertainty of the birthing process that’s getting to you, and thinking about it again just makes you melt into tears.

Hoseok is surprised, “No...No, baby, come here.” He stands up from his crouched position to sit next to you on the couch and pull you into his arms. He wraps you in his warm embrace and guides your head to rest on his chest so you can hear his breathing as a way to help you come back down, knowing you like to hear him when you get stressed like this. It’s not often, but it’s definitely not his first rodeo. “Sh, you don’t have to cry. I’m right here. Tell me what’s wrong and I can help you.”

Even as he begins to rock you back and forth, humming a tune just for you to feel resonate within his chest, you can’t stop the tears that continue to pour down your cheeks and onto his shirt. “You can’t help me with this Hobi. There’s no way you could possibly help me with this!”

“Are you sure?” He pauses for a moment, feeling the way your head bobs as a ‘yes’ rather than answering him through shallow, broken sobs. He shakes his head, distracting himself from talking too soon by drawing circles into your back. His mother had told him several tips over the years of dealing with his sister that she claimed his father always forgot, and like father; like son he had too.

“Sometimes it’s best to just shut up and listen than to continue talking to a closed door.”

So he waits, drawing his lazy circles and other various shapes into your back while your sobs slowly begin to shrink into hiccups. He lets you calm down again before he continues your conversation where it had left off, “You won’t know if I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

“I do know.” You huff, a cute little whine that makes him smile. You; however, are not as amused as he is, “You’re gonna hate me and the doctors are going to hate me and everyone is going to make fun of me-!”

Hoseok pulls away, both hands rest on your shoulders and his mouth and eyes are wide open in shock and mock anger as they look into your own. He shakes his head in disbelief, “Nobody will be making fun of my beautiful baby mama on my watch! There is absolutely nothing you could do that would have anyone make fun of you.”

And he firmly believed that. Anybody that even dared to make fun of the love of his life while she was trying to push out their love child that they were going to love and raise together for the rest of their lives was going to meet his fists! There was no way in hell anyone would be cracking jokes about her, not even Seokjin.

But even with his declaration to protect your honor, your pregnancy brain didn’t give two shits. The thought in your head had plagued you for days, and there was no way he’d ever understand how you felt. But still, you could no longer hold it in.

“UNLESS I POOP ON THE TABLE!”

. . .

Hoseok must’ve looked like a deer in headlights compared to how anxious you looked. Unless you what? Why would you poop on the table? Why would you get up there anyway? That could hurt the baby!

“-I don’t want to be there trying to push a baby out of me with people standing in between my legs, and then I suddenly poop because I can’t help it!”

Delivery table.

That table.

That makes more sense. However, he really didn’t see the problem with the whole ‘pooping on the table’ thing. The midwife and the nurses were trained to deliver babies, they’ve already delivered babies, there was no way that if you pooped on the table you’d be the first one - or that they’d hate you for it. He thought that made sense. The hands that he’d left on your shoulders move to cup your face again, a tender look in his eyes. He wanted you to feel his love, and his eyes reflected what he had in his heart.

“Baby, it won’t matter to anyone if you poop on the table, I’m sure you wouldn’t be the only one.”

He meant well. He truly meant well. But anyone that has ever talked to or seen anyone talk to a pregnant woman would know that trying to reason the way he just did was a mistake. A big mistake.

“I don’t want to be one at all!” You pull his hands away from your face. The tears that had stopped are already threatening to come back again. There was no way that you were going to poop on the table, no matter how many women had done it before you! You refused! You’d never be able to live it down. “I don’t want to poop in front of everyone, Hobi! They’ll hate me, and then I’ll hate me, and then the baby will hate me because their Momma pooped on the table!”

Your stress was too much for him. If you started crying again, then he was going to start crying himself. Pooping on the table wasn’t a bad thing, but he obviously couldn’t tell you that or you’d actually break down in front of him! How was he supposed to just to convince you that no one was going to hate you for a normal bodily function?

With a leap of faith - and high hopes to whoever is listening to him - Hoseok takes what he hopes isn’t his last breath, “Baby, our baby is still going to love you if you poop on the table.” Your eyes bore into him with vigor, one that makes him want to move away but he knows the conversation will still need to be had even if he chickens out now. “They don’t need to know, so we don’t have to tell them.”

“Really…?” The way your eyes go from glaring daggers to softening like you’re looking at a puppy makes him take a deep, much needed breath. “Really. And the doctor’s won’t hate you because they’ve seen everything! You pooping on the table will be the last thing on their mind, because they’ll be taking care of our baby.”

You look away, suddenly becoming shy after your tantrum. You hated acting this way, especially when Hoseok did his best to assure you everything was fine when you thought it was the end of the world. “I guess you’re right…”

“And even if you do poop on the table, I’ll still love you.” He pulls you back into his arms once more, only now he’s much more relaxed whilst holding you against him. Pressing a kiss to your temple he asks, “Do you know why I’ll still love you?”

“Why?” You mumble against his chest, pressing yourself as close to him as you can get to hide from the embarrassment you felt. Your hands grip his shirt tight, and he chuckles to himself that you’re so flustered in front of him. “Because you’re carrying our baby and making sure they’re ready to come and meet us, and I couldn’t throw away a love like yours over one measly poop.”

You may be emotional and unreasonable at times with the amount of hormones you’re dealing with, but he’ll be damned if he lets you go through it alone.

#fae fic #fae writes #sope-and-shine #bts #bts x reader #jhope x reader #hoseok x reader #jung hoseok x reader #fan fiction #bts fan fiction #domestic au #fluff #pregnancy au #family au #idol au

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butterflyinthewell · 5 years

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To autistic people who are starting to menstruate...

Okay I’m gonna go all auntie Cyndi on all my younger autistic followers who are new to having periods. I’ve been having my periods for over 20 years now, so I’m experienced in this.

First off, you may have your first period and not have another one for a few months. Your periods may start and happen like clockwork. Your periods may always be irregular.

It’s normal for your ovulation and menstruation to shift throughout the year just like the seasons shift the sun’s position in the sky.

On average, your period comes about two weeks after you ovulate. I’ve pinned mine down enough to know I bleed exactly 19 days after I ovulate, so I can look at a calendar and figure out within a four day margin of when to expect my period. Note that I said on average, some people may have a shorter or longer menstrual cycle.

You’ll know you’re ovulating when you produce a lot of mucus from your vagina that looks and feels like raw egg white. It’s clear, a little more viscous than your spit, it’s very slippery and it will drip out in long strings. I produce a lot, another person may not produce much. If you notice you’re really slimy down there when you’re wiping after you pee, and the toilet paper comes away with stringy slimy stuff on it, take note of the date you saw that and note the date again when get your period. Keep taking notes and a pattern may emerge. That’s your menstrual cycle.

NOTE: If you have unprotected sex during this time, you have a strong chance of getting pregnant. Sperm can swim a long way and survive a long time in the Fallopian tubes, waiting for an egg to come down. Always assume you can get pregnant between the time of finishing a period and starting the next one.

(And I hope this second one never happens to you, but...)

If you were raped during this time, and if they ejaculated inside you or on your vulva, you may get pregnant.

Always practice safe sex and use birth control if you want to avoid pregnancy, and if you were raped you need to assume they got you pregnant and get help to deal with it ASAP.

Now, lemme tell you a little about periods and autism going together.

PMS and your period can really mess with your sensory issues, your meltdown / shutdown threshold, your tolerance for socializing and your ability to control emotions.

You might have brain fog and just feel yucky and groggy.

You might find you want to sleep more or can’t sleep at all.

You might wake up with your armpits sweating heavily.

You may notice you start sweating with less exertion, or you walk into a warm room and swear you’re standing on the sun.

On the flipside, you may feel colder than usual, so walking into a cooler place will feel like walking into Antarctica.

Your skin may get more oily and that may mean greasier hair and more pimples. I know that feels unfair if you already have a lot of acne and problems with hygiene. If your hair length permits washing your hair in a sink, you can do that if a shower is too much. Try to wash your face gently with a wet washcloth when you wake up and before going to bed. Make sure to remove all your makeup before retiring to sleep if you wear any, because it will clog your pores even more if you don’t.

Your body odor may intensify, so keep baby wipes and deodorant / antiperspirant around if showering is hard. Hand sanitizer wiped on your pits can help in a situation where you realize you reek and can’t wash off, but only use that in emergencies.

You may experience some constipation and gas. That’s progesterone’s fault, sometimes it slows down your colon.

You may go from constipated to having huge, greasy poops or even some diarrhea. That’s your hormones shifting. Sometimes a period is a natural laxative because your intestines move a little faster thanks to the hormones that make your uterus contract (prostaglandins) to push out the endometrium. So if you have issues with fecal incontinence, you may have to deal with extra odors and messes when you change your incontinence protection.

Once your period starts, you’ll probably have to pee a lot more often. This is your body getting rid of the water it retained. If you deal with urinary incontinence, this might mean you need to change your incontinence protection more often to avoid infections, skin breakdown and odors.

Btw, you can dehydrate a little as your body sheds the excess water, so make sure to stay hydrated. I take three small sips or one big gulp from my water bottle after I use the bathroom during my period. It’s a helpful routine.

You may have food cravings and appetite changes. You may feel always hungry or not want to eat much or at all. Your desire to samefood might increase. (Mine is currently the cheese pizza flavored Cheez-Its.) Increased hunger is your body getting ready to lose nutrients through your menstrual flow. If you don’t feel your hunger signals, notice if you feel irritable or weak more often, it may mean you need to eat.

Your boobs may get a little bigger and get achy-feeling, so much that you can’t stand a bra or binder. You may get achy feelings in your joints or muscles. It’s likely water retention.

You may put on some weight. This is also water retention. You may find you always gain around the same about of weight each time you’re close to your period.

You may be really impulsive or take risks you wouldn’t usually take, sometimes to the point of recklessness.

You may feel restless like you want to climb out of your skin. Your frustration threshold might plummet to nothing, so everything is aggravating.

If you have self injurious meltdowns, you may have more SIB than usual. You might also notice an increased need to stim, and sometimes stimming doesn’t help you feel better or calm down.

If you’re physically able, try to do something that makes you exert yourself, like jogging, moving heavy things or some other kind of vigorous exercise. Even dance is good if that’s what you enjoy. Think of it as venting excess energy so it’s not stuck in your chest.

If you’re not physically able to exert yourself, try snuggling under a weighted blanket and pressure stimming. Think of it as drawing excess energy to where you’re putting pressure so it’s not stuck in your chest.

You may have mood swings and default to a certain mood so much that you feel stuck in it.

If you’re prone to migraines, you’re more likely to have one when you’re premenstrual.

All of this can be scary if you’re still new to having periods.

See a doctor if your bad feelings are so bad that you get super depressed and have suicidal thoughts two or more periods in a row, It could be PMDD, which is the nasty older sister of PMS.

PMDD is premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or a very extreme version of PMS.

It’s kinda normal for PMS symptoms to vary in intensity from month to month, but if you find yourself consistently in a very bad mental state before your period, you may need extra help to handle it.

Once your flow starts, you might have bursts of feeling REALLY good or affectionate: that’s because of oxytocin and maybe some serotonin, enjoy it.

Your flow may be fairly light, get heavy and then lighten again. You may start with a lot of gushes and then it lightens up until it stops. If you normally have a light flow and suddenly it turns heavy with an increase in cramping, there may be a problem that needs a doctor to check out. If your heavy flow gets even heavier, to the point that you’re soaking through the thickest pads, there may be a problem. Don’t let them blow you off, be firm. “I don’t normally bleed this much or have this much cramping, something is up.”

Things like stress, weight gain or weight loss can affect your period. Being sick can sometimes throw it off. Periods are fickle, annoying and weird things. Keep track of them, take note of the color and amount of your flow and get to know it. Knowing your body at its baseline will help you recognize it later if something goes wrong. It may take your cycles time to find their “normal” as your body figures out how to handle having periods.

It never hurts to always have a pad, tampon, menstrual cup or whatever you use to catch your flow. Keep it in your backpack, purse, pocket, etc.. If you prefer pads, it’s always a good idea to put one in your underwear if you’re expecting your period and you go out somewhere. That way it won’t be a huge emergency if your flow starts. Putting one in when you go to sleep at the time you expect your period flow can also help you sleep easy and not worry about making a mess in your bed.

(I personally prefer thick pads, so it feels like I won’t leak, but I know that may be a sensory yuck for someone else. Try different things till you find what works.)

Those little gushes you feel occasionally are normal. Yeah, sometimes you will feel your period goop coming out. Some advice: when you’re using the toilet, push a bit and then do a kegel, which is squeezing the muscles in your vagina that stop your pee from flowing— you might push a lot of period stuff out. It’ll help you not have to change your pad as often.

I’m cis, so I can’t speak on how taking testosterone will affect periods. I will leave this open for an autistic person who is taking T to add to this if they want. 👍🏻

Now that I said all that, it’s possible you may have zero premenstrual issues and your period won’t cause you much trouble at all. Every uterus-owning body is different. People already dealing with depression or other mood disorders may have more trouble during their period, or their period may even boost their mood for a short time. As I said, everyone is different.

❤️ Take care! ❤️

#actuallyautistic #actually autistic #autism #asd #tw rape #tw pregnancy #tw menstruation #tw suicide mention #food mention

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some-cookie-crumbz · 6 years

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Abandonment

Abandonment Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Pairing: Kidge Summary: Life with a newborn can be exhausting. It can also be something that stirs up ones own family troubles. Standard Disclaimer: If you read and enjoy this, please give it a like/ reblog so I know if I should write more. AN: Day 28 prompt fill! I just really wanted to write some cute, post-family reassurance.

“Calm down, buddy. It’s okay, I’ve got you,” He cooed, voice soft but scratchy still from sleep.

“Wa…Waaahhh,” Came the insightful response, warbling in volume and whine.

“It’s okay, Kaden, no need for that. Let’s stay quiet, okay? Mommy’s still sleeping-!”

“I’m not, actually, but I appreciate the attempt,” She said with a sleepy puff of laughter, turning on her side to look at him. His eyes were wide in surprise as he gently rocked the fussy infant in his arms. She shifted a bit to sit up, already going for the hook of her nursing tank top with one hand while pushing herself up with the other. “He’s probably just hungry, which makes sense. It’s been almost three hours.”

“I can just go heat up a bottle for him. Get some sleep, Pidge,” He argued gently, pausing briefly in his rocking. He winced when Kaden suddenly chimed in with a loud, short cry of distress. He looked down and resumed the swaying motions immediately. She reached over and gently tapped the lamp on her bedside table twice, so that it only emmited a low glow. “Sorry, sorry. I know you hate it when you aren’t part of the conversation, but only are the conversation.”

She laughed a bit as she tugged the left side of her nursing tank top down to expose her breast. “Just hand him here, Keith. I’m already up and it’ll be easier for him to just take straight from the tap than you having to listen to him shriek the whole time you’re making the bottle,” She insisted, holding her arms out expectantly.

With a defeated sigh, Keith shifted to sit on the bed beside her and carefully hand over their one month old son. The little guy cried even louder as he was moved, falling silent briefly as he was cradled in the crook of Pidge’s arm. “Yeah, I heard you, baby. Don’t worry, the booby bar is always open for you,” She cooed teasingly, adjusting her arm to lift Kaden closer to her.

Keith watched and chuckled as Pidge struggled to get Kaden to latch properly, the baby continuing to shove his little fist in front of his mouth every time he tried to attach to her. The little guy let out a sharp indignant squawk at Pidge after the fourth time he got his fist instead of her nipple.

“Listen, dude,” She huffed lightly, using her pinky finger on one hand to nudge his fist out of the way while the rest of that hand held her breast in place for him, “you have to work with me here. If you keep curling your fist in front of your mouth like that? Yeah, you aren’t gonna be able to get on the booby!”

“Here,” Keith said, leaning over to gently nudge the offending fist with one finger, “let me see if I can’t help out a little.” It took a bit of coaxing, but after a second, Kaden uncurled his fist. With the palm exposed, Keith prodded at it with the tip of his finger, grinning when small and chubby fingers curled around it instead. He then carefully moved his arm using the grip on his finger off to the side.

“Thank you,” Pidge sighed, exasperated, as she moved Kaden’s head back up with her arm. This time, his gaping little mouth closed around her breast, silencing him. After a small moment of readjustments, he was properly latched and suckling the milk with small, hungry grunts. “I knew there was a reason I keep you around.” She teased Keith.

He flashed a small smile and hummed quietly, turning his gaze down to their son. “It’s nice to be able to do something to help you out with him. I feel so useless sometimes, because it always seems like he needs you,” He admitted, his thumb stroking the soft skin on the top of Kaden’s hand.

“Well, he’s still really small, so it kind of figures. In the next few weeks you’ll be able to do a lot more with him, though; especially once he can go longer than two or three hours without eating,” She pointed out with a small smile. She’d done a lot of research to start preparing herself once she found out she was pregnant, to make sure they’d know what to expect with a squalling newborn around, and it showed that more times than not, newborns would tend to be clingier to their mothers. Once they gained a bit more independence around the six to eight week mark, where babies would start getting better control of head movement and figuring out facial expressions, they were less dependent on Mommy.

Keith hummed again, looking down at Kaden with pure adoration. They sat in comfortable silence for a good twenty minutes before Kaden stared to doze off, little eyes fluttering shut and mouth widening in a yawn around the nipple in his mouth. “Looks like someone is a little milk drunk,” He teased, offering to take him.

Pidge smiled as she carefully handed him over, both of them freezing when he opened his eyes wide to stare at them. They had learned that babies were very similar to dinosaurs; if you didn’t move, they couldn’t see you. Or, rather, they wouldn’t really acknowledge that they saw you. They both slowly exhaled as his little eyes dropped shut again. “This little gremlin,” She whispered playfully, pointing at the sleeping infant.

“Think I can change his diaper before I put him back in his Rock-and-Play?” He asked.

“Give it a shot. If he wakes back up, I can always put him back on the boob for a minute or two to soothe him,” She said with a small shrug as she hooked her tank top back on. She watched as he carefully settled Kaden on the small changing table, tilting her head a bit. “So, you wanna talk about what’s bothering you?”

“Nothing’s bothering me,” He said, but it was a bit too quick of a response. He carefully unpeeled the diaper and made a face, nose screwing up. “I still don’t understand how he can sleep through a diaper full of poop.”

“Little guy’s probably too tuckered out. I mean, he refused to sleep all day,” She pointed out. She leaned back to readjust her pillows a little bit before looking over at Keith again. He was just finishing up with wiping Kaden clean and had already pulled out the clean diaper for him. “Now how about you stop dodging and answer my question? You’ve been kinda huffy since we brought him home and I’d like to know why.” She insisted.

Kids had been something she and Keith had discussed often, especially once they got engaged, and agreed they both wanted. The idea of having a family to call his own had appealed to Keith and he’d been over the moon when Pidge told him she was pregnant. She’d noticed it in the first couple of days after they got home with Kaden, how Keith seemed to deflate with how much attention she had to give to their newborn. She didn’t want to think that he regretted their decision to have a family, but that was the simplist answer she could come up with, given the evidence at her disposal.

He looked at her in surprise before sighing. “It’s nothing, Pidge,”

“Don’t give me that bull. Look, if you weren’t ready to be a dad, you should have-!”

“What? No, that’s not it at all!” He argued quickly, his tone a bit too loud and frantic. They both tensed as a shrill cry came from the changing table and a set of little legs kicked in the air frantically. He turned back around, quickly getting on the fresh diaper and buttoning his onesie closed again. “I’m sorry, bud, I should have watched my volume.” He said, carefully scooping him back up and cradling him against his shoulder.

“Go ahead and bring him back to bed with you. I have an idea that I’d like to try,” She suggested.

Keith walked over and slipped under the covers, starting to offer the squirming and whining infant over to her. Instead, she shook her head and nudged him to lie down with a push to his shoulders. Once he was settled down, she carefully readjusted both her boys so that Kaden’s head rested against Keith’s chest, right above his heart, and Keith’s arm was snuggly wrapped around Kaden so he couldn’t squirm around too much. They watched as he slowly settled, his breathing leveling out to match his dad’s, and slowly his eyes closed again. She watched as violet eyes widened before shining in the low light of the bedside lamp, enamoured and awestruck. “He’s so beautiful,” He breathed softly.

She smiled and snuggled down in beside him. “”The sounds of a heartbeat can soothe a baby, since they were used to hearing the sound while in the womb. It doesn’t have to be the Mommy’s heartbeat, either,” She explained gently.

Keith tilted his head and pressed a small kiss to her head, waiting a moment before taking a deep breath. “I’m not trying to be huffy, it’s just… I don’t like leaving everything to you. I want to help out and be as involved with Kaden as possible, give you time to rest while also taking time to bond with him myself. I don’t want either of you to ever feel like I wasn’t there for you enough. I just… I’m afraid of being like Nyrus,” He confessed, sounding uneasy and uncomfortable.

That explanation actually made a lot more sense, when Pidge thought about it.

Nyrus was a high ranking special ops agent working with the Blade of Marmora and, as it turned out, was actually Keith’s birth mother. She and Keith had encountered one another by chance – being paired up on a mission involving a new type of quintessence they’d discovered – but as she reprimanded him after the mission, he’d thrown off his mask to yell back at her, she realized who he was. Initially, she refused to work with him further or explain herself to anyone. For a few months she avoided him completely before finally he cornered her for the truth, during a huge meeting with the Blade higher-ups and the Coalition and Team Voltron.

The confrontation had been a disaster, to say the least.

The two of them had gone very quickly from a shouting match to actual fisticuffs quickly, which wasn’t too terribly surprising. Keith’s temperament was something he seemed to inherit from Nyrus – being quick to insults and aggression and violence when she felt she was being attacked – and the two of them mixed about as well as ammonium chloride and chlorine gas. Questions were asked and given answers that left Keith filled with nothing but anger. “It was not an easy choice to make,” Nyrus had snarled at him, keeping him pinned beneath her by his throat while her tail thrashed violently behind her, “but I had to do what was best for the universe.”

Nyrus had been tracking the Blue Lion’s quintessence signature to assure the Blade could keep it safe from Zarkon, whom was still working to locate them all. While she had been stationed on Earth, she’d met Keith’s father, Ethan, and found herself charmed by him. He had never seemed put off by her lack of Earthling social graces – like so many others had been – and accepted her as she was. She confided in him, upon her pregnancy with Keith, about her actual heritage, due to the chance that Keith could be born with Galran features. He’d loved her regardless of that fact. But when Keith was still very young, she received word from a few other members of the Blade – long dead and their names fuzzy in her mind – that her ship was being tracked by Zarkon. Her options were to either return to the Blade, or destroy both her ship and her self to protect Earth and Blue Lion.

She had decided to take the option that she felt allowed her to do the most good.

“You could have taken us with you!” Keith had spat back, trying to pry her hand off of him.

Her ears had twitched and brow creased, leaning close to scrutinize him. “Why would I have done that? Your father had no training of proper combat or space travel. You were just a kit, too small to survive outside of our eyes. Neither of you could have served a purpose to the Blade that would have justified bringing you along,” Her tone had been bewildered by his question, as if that answer should have been completely obvious.

Pidge had seen how Keith shattered at her words and surged forward, using her bayard to forcefully hoist Nyrus off of him.

After that situation, Keith had taken a huge step back on how much work he did for the Blade, terrified of becoming an embodiment of their rationale to the same extent of his mother. He didn’t want to become so focused that he cared more for the mission objectives than his future family. It took another year before Nyrus and he encountered one another again, and things had gone… A bit more civilly. Nyrus reached out to him to apologize, explaining that it was never a matter of not loving him- she did, she insisted, loved him more than she’d loved anyone or any thing in the universe – but more a matter of what she thought was best. “Either option, you would have grown up without me. I thought that by going back to the Blade, I could at least keep you from being involved in this war. Evidently, however, that… Didn’t go as planned. I would like the chance to make amends, to be… Well, perhaps not a mother, but at least someone to you.”

And Keith, desperate to have connections with any potential family he had, had agreed. Nyrus held true to her word and worked at remaining calm and composed when they discussed certain topics. She’d been crushed when she learned of all the hardships that Keith had suffered, from his father’s young death to his being bounced from home to home, while also being proud of the things he’d accomplished. Pidge herself was still weary of Nyrus but she did her best to be civil, as she wanted to put in at least as much effort as the older female was. Nyrus had attended she and Keith’s wedding and was expected to take a small stop-in to Earth to meet her first grandson sometime soon.

Which certainly explained why Nyrus had been on Keith’s mind over the last couple of weeks.

“You know,” She said as she settled in beside him, resting her head on his shoulder and settling one arm across his stomach, “it would have to take a lot of effort on your part to be anything like Nyrus. It’s already clear that we – Kaden and I – mean more to you than anything, and I doubt you’d ever willingly leave us. And for as confrontational as you can get, I doubt you’d ever have it in you to pin Kaden down by his throat and shout at him.” The look of pure horror that he flashed at the mere inclination was enough to warrant a small chuckle from her as she nestled down with a small sigh. “And I know that me saying this doesn’t necessarily get rid of those fears in you, but I hope it at least helps a little. You’re already an amazing dad, and you’re an amazing husband, and Kaden’s going to grow up knowing how much you love him.”

“I guess it is a little silly of me to be afraid,” He mumbled, a mixture of love and gratitude softening his voice. His attention had swiveled back to the small form curled against his chest. “After all, if a situation like the one with Nyrus ever occurred with us, I don’t doubt you’d happily blow half the Blade of Marmora to Kingdom Come for even suggesting that I have more important matters than our family.”

“Half the Blade of Marmora?” She asked skeptically.

“You could certainly take them all out, but I think you’d want to make an example of them. And if you took down all of them, there would be no one to really learn from it,” He answered.

“Fair enough. Now shush your pretty little face and let’s get some sleep,” She mused, pressing a small kiss to his collarbone before closing her eyes. She felt his arm move to curl around her, pressing along her back and his hand resting on her hip, and she smiled.

Come Hell or high water, the Kogane’s were going to be inseparable.

#voltron legendary defender #keidge #kidge #peith #kidgemas #keidgemonth2k18 #kidgemonth2k18 #pidge gunderson #keith kogane #my fics

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fartonexit · 3 years

Text

A letter for my mother to find.

I'm not spending time writing this out like I thought I would. I'm not walking you through every little step, checking paths are clear to be read, because they aren't, and I'm not taking every precaution to hide myself anymore because honestly if I keep doing that I really am going to kill myself.

I came out as trans last year after many many years of it burning and smoldering for any form of attention. I ignored it, in fact I even have a place in my brain that I visualized physically throwing myself into to keep myself quiet. Anything, everything to just not be found out, not be seen or heard, everyone go away I'm going to go hate myself.

You want to point to developmental cycles. Ok. Why do you think I stopped eating in a group at dinner? Did you know I would talk to myself in the barn at night to keep all the anxiety down and just blow off steam for an hour and a half straight? And you never questioned why it looked like I has half paying attention in some areas and trying hard in others....

In middle school I was already thinking about this. In fact, it has been on my mind for so long, I'm not sure it's never not been there. There was no cause, no big explosion of coom and suddenly I wanted to be a sex object or something. Double up, middle school was hell and I can't remember any of it except doing math at home and breaking my DS. That's basically all I remember of those 3 years. 'cept one thing.

I got asked by a chick in 6th grade to go out with her, well maybe 7th actually, and I froze and turned them down. Not because of the ASD shit, mind you, but because I'd been staring at Tyler Roth's bulge for 2 hours squirming in my chair. If a girl asks me out and I'm doing that right beforehand, and in fact get up to use the bathroom to clean up, you think I'm gunna say yes to the girl?

That's fucking stupid. No.

At least at the time to me it was.

Now I am more open about myself. I care more for personality than body, so sex doesn't matter unless it's a group effort (haha). I am definitely pansexual, there's no doubts there. Poly even, but I'm not sharing any of that with you. That's all the info you get.

If you can't tell from the title, I'm kinda trans kinda not. Non-Binary is the correct term, and I'm a little jazzed that I'm over my bullshit about it. I never said anything or made it obvious because of bad reactions from you and dad about me being gay, or other gay ppl, so like honestly why would I ever have said anything when I don't trust you?

This is also the origin of my trust issues.

In college, actually no, in high school I heard the term for the first time, in college, learning more and more about what trans ppl go through and nb people go thru, I locked myself in my room for 2 weeks and only came out for dinner. I almost committed suicide off of AB after that period because I couldn't handle it and it hadn't matched anything that I had known before. It's something I've actually wanted to talk to you about for years, and when I try to bring it up you scream at me and run away like I've ruined your whole life in some 80's teenager movie. You won't even hear my side of it.

There's obviously a lot for us to talk about, and I'll let you come up with your own questions. I'll make a lil' faq

1: Are you male or female?

A:. I'm always going to acknowledge my birth. I'm never going to not acknowledge what I went thru, the good or the bad, or that I ever had a penis.

Male in origin, but in-between. Genderfluid is the correct term. Maybe intersex as well, as that's how I see myself. I notice when I eat more estrogen enriching foods, my mood balances out. I've been eating more E rich foods lately (seeds, dry fruit, oat bran in the morning) and I've honestly never felt more.... Normal.

2: If it's fluid, what the hell do I call you?

A: Well it's not like you'll make me explode at you if you straight up call me he and I'm in a dress, more I'll be watching the ppl around you staring at you calling me a he.

My pronouns are hi / shi / him / hir / they / them, and honestly my rule is call what you see. The I is there for... Well, intersex. Male or female presenting.

So again, call what you see. I do get mad though, especially if I worked really hard to make a banger of an outfit. Honestly, so glad you don't know my style either... If I'm obviously trying, respect that. I don't always though, only on special occasions.

3: What about your name then? It's effeminate.

A: I'm effeminate, what's your point. Hell if you want a bullshit term to look into look up genderfaun. Within genderfluidity there can be limits, which ppl of course have denoted how people will denote it. Genderfaun basically means cboy. A male embodied person never quite unclasping on full effeminacy.

4: How have I never heard of this?

A: Same reason women's issues are more vocalized to men's issues. Same reason why I'm expected to be the one running the construction site and my partner is supposed to be my loving little wife. Cboy's, intersex ppl in general rly, don't really have a need to be found out. And quite rare, actually. Honestly, Nonbinary is what can go on a paper and what is legally applicable, so that's the 'umbrella' term, if you need one.

5: So what makes you a cboy then?

A: years of undeserved anguish, hating my body, not wanting breasts, wanting to give birth, my dick feeling out of place or straight up like a tumor on my life, relationships being hard to start and even harder to keep literally because of sex, crying after being made the top for sex, having to top at all, expectations beset by other's that I don't get a voice in, not getting a voice in general and not being in any spot of authority or passed by the same or opposite sex in both education and normal social life, oh and also every time I see a picture of a cboy I'm happy, not horny.

6: Why that term? Rather harsh

A: I agree. If there was a better term that was as equally descriptive I'd go for it. I don't think intersex male is quite applicable tho, nor does genderfluid work on a job app., Tho neither does cb. It started as a term in porn but people have taken it as their own, me included.

Again describe it in one word that isn't confusing (transfeminine for example, genderfaun for another) and get back to me when you figure it out.

7: Possibility A - you're crazy

A: That'd be cool if I was crazy actually, then I'd actually fucking feel normal. Like I had a normal problem. Like I was being treated like I should be in society. Sadly enough I've talked to multiple shrinks, other trans and nb people, other cboys, and pretty much everyone agrees my living situation was really fucked up, as we're the expectations beset upon me. Not always, and I'm not just spraying buckshot over my whole life, but there's some stuff we REALLY need to talk about.

I've actually made it my life mission for the last 10 plus years to find someone like me being interviewed. I have had the hardest time too because I beat myself up about it so often, unless I tripped over a podcast episode (like I actually did) I'd never find anything and just think I was schizophrenic or something. Hell for a while you had convinced me I was because of stuff you were doing and talking about, and like bloody usual, not letting go of or shutting up about for months.

Literally half the reason I moved in to where I am was to checksum myself. I am definitely not schizophrenic and absolutely have a panic and anxiety disorder.

Possibility B - ok I'll bite, who else is there?

A: here's the podcast that made me feel safe. We're not 100% similar, but a lot of what he is saying I get. And while he lives in cali, stuff your biases. He moved here from japan when he was 12 or something.

https://www.furwhatitsworth.com/?episode=s9-episode-3-nb-nb-nb

This is not the only podcast I've listened to, but it's the best perspective I've heard. And I can say for solid, to this day, I get exactly everything he is talking about. Every single thing.

8: Ok, so what about your name (should you be on board)

A: Thats hard for me. I know I came with Ari and then tried Faun, but Faun is more a nickname for me from somebody and I liked the sound. I still like the name a lot too. But my name is Aremis, it's been Aremis, I'm going to move on and stop thinking about that one so hard.

9: Why not keep your old name? I'm offended you don't have my father's name anymore.

A: ok good for you for inscribing your bullshit onto someone before they can even he a say, as usual.

My dead name literally hurts. I've tried to explain to you, you ignored me.

That's all you get. Deal with it.

10: I'm not sure I'm ok with this.

A: Neither am I but I'd be dead right now from jumping under a semi in traffic a few months back if I hadn't. This isn't a mistake, or anything you did to me. It's just how I am. Now I know why you want the new DSM so bad.

By the way, dsm backs me up. So if god is gunna have to say something because of your convictions, I'll walk.

Peace. I'm done pooping now, time to get off the toilet.

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delacruzlynn · 4 years

Text

Problem With Male Cat Spraying Blindsiding Cool Tips

A good place to release pheromones to stimulate nearby males cats.Your home will determine which kind will require the cooperation of neighbors to continue to occur then it's time to address the problem.In fact up to 1 year of age and temperament of your cat, he is being shredded.You must make sure it is important to get them neutered when they come up with three ways that few, if any humans, are likely to stray

Declawing involves the removal of the problems that cats will do naughty things because they will break down the middle of the cat has urinated.Your home will determine which kind will require serious attention.Don't get irritated when your cat decides not to overburden it.It may take several days to remove cat urine and stains, although this can be a need to do this also.Your cat was not a good squirt or water from a flea dip anymore.

If your cat by giving it the best possible information on its training anyway, so you do this, the less often the cat going over to the house, and start biting.Cats can be very helpful thing to consider the following three:Hopefully, these suggestions will help you in finding the answer for your family, to live a long way toward keeping your cat is trying to eat in peace.Introduce new cats to pee or poop, just take it the right thing to keep an eye on your hand, or on those things to consider such as his territory.By the second reason is that this is the best cat food has dulled their natural instincts of the best health care and regular checkups should be placed on the teeth to help you determine your cat he will soon turn to enzymatic cleaners as well as replace the tension rods because kitty will not necessarily guarantee a high-quality relationship.

Providing your cat pick out one by gently placing the cat's teeth.Set it away someplace but make sure you clean it but the hard truth is that some cats will sleep just about anywhere, including on top of.Cats like to lie and to remove the nail, so the sprinkler method should be like someone had spent a great deal, don't you think?What is declawing? - How is kitty may not appeal to your cats behaviour, you will need a fine balance but with good ones while young.Or, if he suddenly starts sneezing when they become well acquaint with one on every level of human skin is delicate.

Any product that is considered experimental but initial reports have been deathly allergic to certain household items and the animals face.The scratching post by using the procedure for bathing your dog or cat is still possible to train cats after it already has ammonia in it until they begin the act of spraying.The surface should also supply a scratching post, startle him by squirting them with a tight weave such as Royal Canin Feline Sensible food is also important for welcoming any cat pet training as it should go.Just as the neck is the issue of doing this, he would recommend.They have a lot of time and the noise of the litter box, the areas where he should not, make the problem can get a runny nose.

In many ways to the furniture or rips the carpet.I have four cats are euthanized every year.I will not necessitate you to look deeper into the ground so that the two cats should stay that way you train your cat.Declawing, however, is that domestic feline behavior problems by training your cat.Indoor cats quite naturally tend to lose control very quickly.

This is another good idea, some lasting up to a trusted veterinarian for testing.In addition, the scratching post, by placing obstacles where the deed has been the case in part, cats generally have a negative association for the preservation of things and be free from the store.Do you have any adverse effects to the herb used can also be responsible in being able to access it.All you need to know when bad cat behavior believe that you will know that they're around and if you take the tuna snap from you.Lemon-thyme, geranium and lavender are said to be effective owing to weakness or laziness.

I am sure you find your furry friends from clawing a particular spot try and get sick.You may notice male cats that have flea-control chemicals on kitty.Attract your kitty will be able to communicate with us for a complete recovery.Maybe you have no reason not to overfeed the cat.I would be removing your friend from your cat to stretch its legs and untangle the hair, then brush the cat to scent mark than fully armed cats.

Cat Urine Mold

It just makes it easier for you all laughed at it's lovable antics.And of course, but there are lots of antihistamines that can be picky, and a few drops of the litter box, discipline is best to treat new stains or odors.Society faces an overwhelming cat population problem and should be taken care off.Pour out a few weeks after birth they'll start to play with your pet's fur, dander or hair that is making sure you get to those who aren't.Encouraging this behavior and because they have presented you with opportunity to multiply and grow.

An abscess can result in more homeless cats and dogs.Many cats prefer horizontal surface to be given for the whole the cat with a couple of hours.They are smart, quick to stick around and available.A good stain remover that contains sulfur compounds smells bad also.These are not cleaning out the front door all of her accident, rather than yellow.

Educating yourself on nutrition and diets for cats to be avoided.You can easily be seen as an unaltered cat, but the topical drops are more likely to develop eventually.When you tally up the urine soaks into the stain and odor.You also have urge to spray your kitty decides to visit your vet will hardly see a cat lover.Getting a cat comes in, give him a very cruel, harsh and full in spirit.

Ideally, Poofy will already be accustomed to the animal.Actually, we could train them to fend for themselves to fish.Another reason your cat develop physically as well as outside your home.A smallholder has reported success using dried rabbit blood but you must preserve well in small boxesContented cats are known to urinate outside of her head or some other pet is flea-infested.

Training your cat about to spray areas that they will be unable to afford dental care for your guests then put something else they will have to use the scratching by chasing her away, spraying water, hitting or swatting.Some medical problems can be toxic for the prey they feed on blood.You can now develop your own cat enclosure.In order to completely eradicate the smell.Uric acid is more prone to diseases and may not be able to guide you on the affected area.

The litter box has high walls and furniture.Try to pinpoint the exact kitty reaction you want to keep fleas off their cats.While they don't bring with them for kittens to jump through hoops, over sticks, or even other members of the most part the cat will develop a neurosis or anxiety state that causes it to help with that water need and won't cost you a few days of continuous cat urine odor from carpeting is going to the cat's body, the spot or locking the door and getting then neutered will be happy and to the cat has his own are endless.Ticks are small and sometimes it can also buy special plastic strips that fit my preferences perfectly.Litter training cats is much similarity between the types of training.

Cat Spray Water

Such items can be very self-sufficient and aloof.First off, it goes without saying that it will diminish the damage caused by a car in the alley of a cat is constantly using the litter tray and your cat's favorite things.Make your own food and left the baking soda.In fact, the sudden avoidance of their needs and your cat find other solutions on the change.For a bone and treat the offending spot can result in permanent damage or even food bowls.

Set Boundaries - Reduce hair in infected areas.Keeping a trained and healthy behavior for cats.Fortunately, there are many ways to put in a mood.When using rattles or other odd-shaped boxes.With any sudden behavior change, you should not but they mostly depend on how to tell you what they scratch, they are severely ill.

#Problem With Male Cat Spraying Blindsiding Cool Tips #How High Can A Male Cat Spray

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mrandyzavala · 7 years

Text

To The Maryland Zoo Team

Oh, Maryland Zoo people....I am so sorry.

For those of you who don't know, Maryland Zoo has had two giraffe births within the past few months. The latest, a male named Julius, was born on June 15th. What happened afterwards is a story that so many of us have experienced, but have a lot of trouble not only processing internally, but expressing to people who have no idea what it is like to care for animals in this way.

Our critics often take opportunities where animals are ill, injured, or dying to rake us over the coals. Most people, even those who do not necessarily support zoos or aquariums, are decent human beings who do NOT leave heartless, cruel Facebook comments about these situations. However, it is the small minority of thoughtless people who make what is already an incomprehensible loss into a horrendous nightmare.

What a great idea! Everyone is doing it!

In the case of the little giraffe calf, his story played out in a way I think many of this blog’s readers will relate to. He was born to a loving, doting mother but for whatever reason, Julius did not nurse successfully. This is not an unusual situation in both captive and wild mammals, especially with mammals whose childhoods are long investments of maternal care.

When nursing doesn't go as planned in these animals, animal care professionals must weigh their options on how to proceed. Some facilities choose to let nature take its course, which is of course what happens….in nature. That is not “good” or “bad”. Nature is what nature is, it does not care one way or the other how the story ends. And some well-respected zoological communities feel that it is in the animals’ best interest to experience life as naturally as possible, which might result in a hands-off approach when a baby is failing to thrive.

Brookfield Zoo staff helping a newborn dolphin

Some facilities choose to intervene if it is a) safe for the humans involved (remember, many of these animals are massive, not to mention mom is not necessarily going to think rationally when someone comes in and messes with her baby who is struggling) and b) in the best interest of the baby him/herself. Some babies, like bottlenose dolphins, are extremely fragile when they are first born. They can literally have a heart attack if they get super scared. Their mom and/or other family members may freak out if something outside of their experience happens after the calf is born, like a pool dropping or attempting to handle their calf (which is why it is so awesome that some marine mammal facilities teach their dolphin moms to do husbandry-related behaviors that entail scenarios commonly encountered in intervening with a neonatal calf). Big dolphins freaking out around brand new babies can result in fatal injuries to the baby.

So it isn't an easy decision to make with large mammals, because there are a lot of factors to consider on top of what the baby him/herself is going through medically.

Once a decision is made to intervene, everyone remotely involved with the department is usually scheduled for some grueling Waffle House shifts. Waffle House shifts. You know, because the only place that you can guarantee will be open to feed you no matter what time you get off, no matter what you are wearing, no matter what you smell like, is good ol' Waffle House. Some places will recruit help from other animal departments, or ask for volunteers depending on how the facility is organized. This might mean you work 12 hour shifts. Maybe you work your normal eight or ten hour day, and then come into work in the middle of the night for a few hours, then get up a few hours later to do it again. Chances are, your weekends and vacation plans are cancelled. Your life becomes work and sleeping (where and when you can) and little else for the indefinite future.

Your life is one big Waffle House shift

Why is this? Well, in general, most critical cases require consistent medical treatment. Medication courses may have to be given at certain times through the day and night. For example, I worked with a dolphin who had an abscess on her lung. The course of her antibiotics required a 24 hour feeding schedule for many, many weeks that needed to be strictly adhered to, because lung infections are not easy to treat (and she made a fully recovery, so happy ending to that story!). Other types of medical therapies may require multiple treatments within a 24 hour period, too. Continuous observation is usually a part of this as well, which means an alert staff member or two is watching the animal for any changes in behavior. Try staying awake in the middle of the night for 8 to 12 hour shifts never taking your eyes off the animal in your care, unless you have to use the bathroom.

But when a baby needs critical care, this requires even more effort. Even if the baby is 100% healthy, her or she needs to eat regularly…more than an adult or juvenile would. Human moms know what I’m talking about. Infants and babies in many non-precocial mammal species go through a period I like to call The Red Zone where they basically eat, sleep, and poop in 2 to 4 hour cycles, pausing not a wink for their moms/dads/guardians to catch up. If a giraffe isn't able to nurse properly from mom, then humans take over mom’s role.

MD Zoo staff bottle feed Julius

Feeding a baby in this way is not as easy as it seems in the movies, either. You don't just provide a bottle, snuggle with the baby as he or she feeds lazily in your arms, and then upload all your adorable selfies to your Insta account. No. You have to MAKE the formula (oh my GOD and if it’s a dolphin calf, there is usually some amount of fish oil involved which gets everywhere and you will never, ever smell like a human being again, sorry). You have to account for every calorie; this is not just a simple “dump the powder into the water and shake shake shake and eyeball the amount eaten” situation. Every. Calorie. Counts. You make the formula, you pour it into whatever feeding device you’re going to us, and then you triple-check the amount before, during, and after each feeding.

This is an insanely emotionally challenging time for EVERYONE involved, human and animal alike. Baby animals in critical condition brings its own sort of emotional torment, because it isn't uncommon for them to start to really rely on their human caregivers for all of the other needs he/she would be getting from mom, (or in alloparenting species,o ther members of the herd/pod/pride/whatever). Social mammals NEED social contact, and not just for touchy-feely reasons. Loving physical contact paired with creating a sense of security has a direct impact on healthy development. If baby is surrounded by loving human caregivers, baby will start relying on those caregivers (in full or in part) to provide that contact and security.

I LURV YOU

So now you have a critically ill baby, who relies on YOU 100% for every need he/she has. No worthy keeper takes this responsibility lightly. Most of us fall head over heels in love and toss our life’s plans aside as we work ourselves to death to try to help this little life. After only a couple of days, the only way we can get through our day is the time we spend with the animals. But when we get downtime, we fall into tortured sleep filled with nightmares or we pass out into a restless state of unconsciousness until we return back to work, hopeful that the tides have turned in the baby’s favor.

It is an indescribable feeling to see a baby who was previously not doing well suddenly turn the corner and flourish. Life slowly gets back to “normal”. Everyone is happy.

But sometimes, the baby is too good for this world. Such was the case with Julius. It is especially hard when you know that they are not going to get better, especially when it is a long, slow road to that fate.

<3 <3 <3

So now I'm going to directly address all of you who worked with this little calf….but to anyone reading this who has been through a similar situation, this applies to you, too.

Maryland Zoo team Julius peeps, you are amazing. I mean, it’s amazing enough that you did literally EVERYTHING remotely possible for that little guy. Not only did you do everything you could for Julius, you set an example for how this kind of situation should be treated. Keeping the wellness of Julius as your North Star, you balanced his needs with the possibilities available. Not only that, you kept the public aware of what you were doing. They got a look into what it takes to provide that level of care to a wild animal calf. I mean, people in my forensics lab were talking about it with a tremendous amount of respect and concern.

I know what it is like to watch a baby move in the wrong direction. I know how heart-wrenching that is, especially when you start to second-guess decisions you have made, or ones you may have to make. THEN, no matter how hard you try to cement yourself to the soulless comments about Julius and zoos and what you do for a living, you still somehow read or hear a comment that frays your last nerve and breaks you down, when you've been barely holding on.

Look at this incredible group of people!

But listen to me. All that matters is what you did for Julius, no matter what role you played. Here is what he needed: Love, security, basic physical needs met, and medical treatment. Here is what you gave him: Love, security, basic physical needs met, and medical treatment.

The experience that little giraffe calf had is impossible to know for sure, but logically let’s think about this. Even if he didn’t feel well or physically comfortable as his health declined, all of his needs were met. He did not have to spend a moment afraid. He did not have to spend a moment unloved. We know that is not often the case in animals in the wild in similar situations.

The emotional torment you guys experienced with him, and are dealing with now in a different way, is NOT what he experienced. If Julius gets to fill out a survey in the afterlife about his time on earth, his “Additional comment” section would probably say something like, “I got lots of love and I was basically a social media giant. Would recommend.”

And I agree with this review!

No matter what your internal conversation is with how everyone played out, or how hard it is to read media coverage and see the disgusting comments below the articles….that does not change the fact that Julius lived and died, fully and completely loved. THAT is why you guys get up each morning. If you feel unappreciated, know that I bet Julius and his mom appreciated what you did. Know that the awful comments you're reading are just words typed quickly on a keyboard....which is NOTHING compared to the weight of the work you did to care for an animal in his greatest time of need. Know that the rest of us in the zoo field appreciated what you did. We stand in solidarity with you.

A giraffe, a dolphin, a lemur, a caiman…I don't care what animal you care for, we know that they all deserve to feel secure and loved, in whatever way they perceive those things. It is never easy to provide that in medically critical situations, and yet time and again we do it. We know our hearts will be ripped out, that we may have nightmares about it for years to come, but those consequences do not stop us from being there 100% for animals who not only NEED that level of care, but DESERVE IT.

Thinking of you, Maryland Zoo.

Rest in peace, little guy.

from The Middle Flipper http://ift.tt/2uwMX0V

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