#not gonna have time to watch the whole 24 hrs but this part was really fun!!
Text
Harry Potter AU WHEN (screenshots and clip taken from this Impulse VOD)
#pearlescentmoon#geminitay#impulsesv#soup group#shiny duo#shinyduo#mcyt#saved clips#ill add more to this post in rbs this is mainly for the shinyduo bits :]#not gonna have time to watch the whole 24 hrs but this part was really fun!!#shoutout to the shinyduo discord for digging this vod back up and finally finding where their harry potter skins came from lmao
153 notes
·
View notes
Text
here we are again
covid day 6, 30 Oct 2022, 8.14pm
i’m officially certain i’ve been living my life making horrible choices along the way. an shy might that be - no one asks because no one will read this goddamn post?
i have managed to lose everyone who has any remote sort of emotional relationship with me - me, i did that. the dumbass that i am, i fucking did that.
now, i’m stuck with a semi-codependent relationship with my one and only bestfriend who is in a lovely relationship with a wonderful human who loves her wholeheartedly, living with my family (whom i’m pretty much estranged with apart from my mother) and even then i hate my mother alot at times.
but i have learnt that people are people, and we’re never gonna have them be people we want them to be. they are whole persons with personalities and choices they choose to make outside of you are all the choices they will make because you’re just one part of their multi-faceted life.
everyone’s a lil bit racist sometimes. we’re all bigoted lil fuckers making sense of the world, and i have to deal with it. I have to deal with it. i HAVE to deal with it. i have to deal with IT. i have to deal with it... sigh. while we talk about that, even then, clearly, people have to deal with me being the dumb fuck i am. i talk about things no one wants to hear all the goddamn time, no one want to come into a fucking 10 mile radius to deal with my goddamn personality.
and when they do, i don’t return the sentiment. it’s just easy to let it go man. i’m not very likeable. i know i’m not, and i do somewhat regret it, but do i really? obviously, there are clearly things you gotta let go in order to have people around you which includes but not really subjected to - being a goddamn good person, being better at listening, i’m better when people keep me at arm’s length. i’m better when i make random jokes about my lack of a father in my family, i’m better when i talk about how depressed i am, i’m more relatable and human when i talk about those things. i’m pessimistic, and i hold grudges adn those haven’t change.
i have a secret tumblr no one reads where i just throw all my goddamn bullshit at. and surprisingly, i’m not suicidal. okay, no one asked. am i living? i mean would you really being in bed for 24 hrs, watching streams and reading webtoons living? most people would disagree, but i’m not unhappy. hell, i’m fucking happy. would i enjoy a trip overseas? yeah sure, but that includes the packing, the travel anxiety, having to come back and having to deal with travel tiredness right? i don’t know if i like that part of travelling. what about going out with friends? what am i talking with them about? why am i hanging out with them? is it a chill session? or a update session? how’s my energy level at that day? how embarrassed am i today? am i scared i’m missing out because i’m actually scared? or is it because i somehow broke a social contract established in the fineprint where i’m supposed to showcase my good side and network? should i have gone? would i have gone? it would have costed a lot of $, not to be calculative but being a calculative motherfucker, will what i give be enough to maintain the friendship?
my brain is not acting in a cohesive flow because there are so many things happening. i’m trying to convolute things.
also, i’m afraid of my identity leaking and apparently the one friend found out i have a tiktok and follows me there and i find it awkward because i do not have a tiktok for that purpose. it’s meant as a form to escape and creatively create without judgement. but now it’s just another medium where i havent updated nor chosen to fucking do anything with.
everyone has moved on, grown, learnt, lived. yet here i am, stagnant, like a goddamn piece of shit. what has changed? apart form my weight and age. nothing has changed.
i mean, i realised that i’m probably asexual. i need to take a break from instagram because everyone has a life, likes children or has kids. and im just a piece of shit. i dont even wear makeup anymore to work and i feel like a potato, but despite being insecure, i’m too much of a lazy asshole to wake up early and put on better clothes, better face with make up and a smile on.
it kinda makes me realise that society is just as society is. people don’t change merely because you’ve grown up. you realise that the whole system was built and people in it were people who grew up and capitalised on the system this whole time. internalised fatphobia, beauty standards, societal beliefs, racial discrimination, cultural standards and beliefs, and everything to do with it. yes, there are still pockets where there are open-minded, but much like society and life, there are people who are just a textbook example of a regular, not bad person, but of very “straight” beliefs, and we just deal with it.
i guess i’m searching for a pocket of safe everywhere, but i need to realise and remember that the world is still the world despite what i want to believe it is. and i have a tough time dealing with it. i guess i’m still in the process of getting hurt, and whining about it as opposed to working towards accepting it.
i would describe myself as a pessimist - being frank right now. and just googled, it’s because i tend to protect myself, as opposed to try something that might end up either way. because it’s tiring, when things dont go the way i think it will. i need some sort of safety net (emotional or otherwise).
why did i not go to the birthday party? because i just don’t know anyone there, and people will be drinking and i might feel uncomfortable, and what if at the last minute i decide to cancel because i have introvert issues and i dont feel like going into a room filled with people i don’t know, spending money on transportation that i don’t want to spend, and buying a gift for a friend i haven’t met for 3 years. like hello? - see as i mentioned, protect, what ifs, all the i don’t wanna deal with situations. i know i’m preventing myself from an opportunity to open my eyes and enjoy, and live, but i guess i can’t help but not care too much because i have covid so it all worked out.
why am i thinking about this even though i have covid you might ask? because i felt guilty that i somehow maybe have broken a social contract rule, and i dont feel comfortable posting happy things because i didnt go to someone’s birthday party that they invited me to. like? hello? so it all ended that way. i shut the fuck up and i move on after this. (cue memory that decided to pop up where said person in bday had posted an unsatisfied story on a PUBLIC SOCIAL MEDIA about me in our time in school, and i just - it’s stuck in my head so i’m just gonna fucking yeet myself off social media till i feel better).
we run away till our problems don’t have a hold on us anymore, i’m sure i’ve posted unhappy stories on my own instagram about shitty people before as well, we’ll all live - eventually people just move on and forget. waiting for the forget to just appear. i feel like my cpu storage memory wipeout hasn’t happened yet, waiting for the factory reset.
lately finding things that make me happy has been pretty hard, i’ve been trying desperately not to play genshin or valorant today, but it seems i might just need them as a means to escape or entertainment because i’m not sure if i’ll be able to.
going back to work after a whole week off, although it’s a contract job, i’ve been feeling pretty shitty going back to it and i chalk it all up to having to take responsibility of fucking up and i genuinely don’t know how to cope/deal with it. i don’t know how to deal with it because it doesn’t make logical sense, yet i feel like it was completely and utterly my fault for having to deal with it, and fix it. and it hurts, i’ll be honest, it hurts my goddamn soul :( because i cant fix everything by myself.
i already feel some sort of guilt for not going to work tomorrow, but i’m on UNPAID MEDICAL LEAVE so does it really matter? no one gives a fuck, just one day and we move on. we’ll survive. and i’ll be honest, i don’t think anyone really has any sort of care in the world about what’ll be happening. the world accepts and moves on. we all move on in the end, my guilt only gets in the way of my full, undivided rest, i paid $50 on top of losing a week’s worth of income. we’ll move on.
this is word diarrhoea. thank you and goodbye. this is more therapeutic than i remembered.
0 notes
Text
I posted 4,051 times in 2021
499 posts created (12%)
3552 posts reblogged (88%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 7.1 posts.
I added 637 tags in 2021
#w - 175 posts
#music - 160 posts
#thoughts - 104 posts
#relationships - 52 posts
#betterinthe90s - 34 posts
#food - 28 posts
#our place - 26 posts
#new home - 20 posts
#health - 19 posts
#animals - 19 posts
Longest Tag: 127 characters
#if you ever wanted to know why i read so much - try having a cat sleep on you for 12 hrs a day or a girlfriend do the same!!!!!
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
youtube
New They Might Be Giants!!!
TMBG - I Can’t Remember the Dream
23 notes • Posted 2021-08-12 19:47:01 GMT
#4
It's not protest... It's insurrection
President-Elect Joe Biden 01/06/2021
25 notes • Posted 2021-01-06 21:12:08 GMT
#3
Advice Wanted: Apartment/House hunting
What do you do?
What do you ask?
What do you look for?
Do you call? Do you email?
Traps?
30 notes • Posted 2021-06-08 19:23:48 GMT
#2
Thoughts on Dysgraphia...
Do you know what it’s like to not have control of your hands?
You know what you want to do, you know how to do it, and then... boom.. hands do something else.
And you stare at them... frustrated... because they’re a part of you like every other part of you... except... they do their own damn bullshit and make you look stupid.
Case in point... trying to handwrite... yeah... that’s not gonna happen. You spend an inordinate amount of time and struggle and fight just to print each letter semi-legibly, while at the same time trying and form a sentence, and keep that going for an entire paragraph.... nooope... doesn’t happen. Usuaully you get through a few words, and then the whole thing turns to shit.
Sometimes you write the wrong letter... I want to write a W... out comes an R. Why? Cause fuck you, that’s why... you get an R.
Same with typing, except if you type fast enough your brain compensates by being super dickish and typing an entire word wrong... You want to type the word Door... and out comes Left. Why? Because fuck you, that’s why.... you get Left.
Games are fun... especially games that require lots of different button presses and a muscle memory/mapping! You need to use the joystick to turn left, press the left trigger, and click the A, X, Y, B keys for different things... GOOD FUCKING LUCK.!!!! You go to press B, and you hit X instead.. why? Because fuck you, that’s why... you get an X and you’ll just have to deal with it!!
I notice this a lot while swyping... whole words come out wrong and it’s not always autocorrect... Sometimes I just swipe the whole damn word wrong.
I’ve been playing a football game lately... as the Quarterback you have to pick which reciever to throw the ball to... and I’ll say in my head or out loud... X!!! and if I don’t look down and go slow and watch my thumb... it’ll often press anything BUT the X I want.
My favorite is repetition. You press A... you press X.... you press A... you press X.... do it 20 times.... on around the 8th time... you’ll press A and then you’ll press Y. and you just go really???? really asshole????
You simply have no control and it sucks.
31 notes • Posted 2021-10-14 18:03:25 GMT
#1
TELL ME!!!! / SHOW ME!!!
You’re favorite home, kitchen, bathroom gadget or dohickey that you are so glad you have or you’ve always wanted!!!!!!!
39 notes • Posted 2021-06-24 23:46:03 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
reality-is-often-disappointing x denki || gallickingun matchups
@reality-is-often-disappointing : I, have shamelessly came here on note for a first tier matchup. MHA, my hobbies are a wild variety that includes mainly singing -as i have an ' amazing' alto voice- writing, drawing -in pencil mainly but also acrylics on canvas- I'm good at cooking -better thank baku if I do say so myself- reading fanfics obv, fangirling/gushing over hot guys with the girls yk? my dress code is ultimate modesty as i dont like showing skin, yet it's classy chic, very picky while shopping yes. my favorite colors are blank and vintage pink. aesthetic is more cutsie unicorn colors -my rooms main colors- but i actually only ever like wearing black. i do know how to swim but cant because *da-dun* i have dry eyes/also wear glasses. my favorite food is dark chocolate w/ those bits of cherries or oranges. as a first date i'm open to anything from a movie in or out, to walks on the beach or even just the arcade. i'm a she/her, and currently feeling like i'm going for a guy as a match triggers: only degradation or backtalking, it makes me anxious, a paranoid mess and i'll most definitely end up crying without even noticing. 165cm or 5'5 dark natural black hair (the 80s lion cut up to collarbone & a fringe) eye color, theyre black/brown when in sunlight. im white with a med and warmish olive undertones, natrually rosy cheeks -holy dark circles- full brows and what i've been called as "doll-like-eyes" or "cat-eyes" since theyre big and long naturally curled lashes. My birthday is on 31st of october, scorpio, INFP personality to cut short for you! I'm a child-free spirited but also am like-mature at maximum effort. I either sleep 3 or 16 hours there is no inbetween (once slept for 24 hrs but I'm not going to talk about how that freaked everyone out) I've been singing since I was three or since I've remembered. Secretly wanted to go on those x-factor shows but bleh, no. Fame is not really for me. Anywho, love you! Have fun with this and drink water! 🎵
Thank you so much for sending in the request for this! You’re such a gem, I really appreciate every time I get the pleasure of interacting with you, darling 🧡
― Denki would love the fact that you sing! He thinks you have a beautiful voice, and even if you’re across the house, if he hears you start to pick up a tune, he’ll join in!
― I think the two of you would pull all nighters together some nights, and other days sleep until you’ve passed the whole weekend by without doing much of anything. Denki can stay up until the sunrise, or he can sleep until noon, whatever you want to do!
― He loves your free spirit, it makes it easy to take you on adventures and experience the world with you.
⁂ Denki will randomly offer to pick you up from work, and the two of you will drive a couple of hours to the countryside or the beach - windows down, music blaring, singing until your throats are numb - and you’ll spend a night or a weekend away from the world, just wrapped up in each other.
⁂ He’s a horrible cook, absolutely terrible. Kaminari loves that you cook dinner most nights, because not only does he get to eat your delicious food, he also gets to praise the heck out of you for preparing a wonderful meal. He really adores it when you make too much and he gets to take the leftovers to work the next day. Of course he brags about you to all of the other heroes, and he really loves the note you leave on top of the tupperware.
⁂ Even if the two of you aren’t actively together, you’ll still stay up late. Sometimes you watch Kaminari while he plays video games, laying on the couch with your legs over his lap while he mashes the controller buttons and speaks to whoever is on the other side of the headset. In between each match or round, he’ll slip the headphones off his ears and run his palm along your calf, massaging your leg, “Whatcha doin’, babe?” And he’ll listen to you drone on about whatever YouTube video you were watching, whatever thing you’re reading, or whatever social media event has gotten your attention.
⁂ He learns how to harmonize in order to compliment your voice better. He shows it off one night when you’re singing along while cooking dinner - Denki sidles up behind you, arms around your waist, and starts to harmonize in your ear along with the song you’ve been captivated by for the last few weeks. You feel warm at the sound of his voice, and even more so due to the effort he’s put in to prove to you that your interests are his interests. And boy, is he interested in you.
⁂ Kaminari will be down to try all kinds of fruit chocolates with you - you guys even play a roulette style game where you have to guess what kind of fruit is hidden within the chocolate. You win, mostly, because Denki just wants to stuff his face with sugar so fast that he doesn’t recognize the fruit chunks. But he still plays and is in awe of you getting every single one right because you never fail to amaze him.
Denki slips in through the doorway, sliding off his shoes in favor of his house slippers as quietly as possible. He notices that the television is still flickering on and off, images bouncing off the glass of the window panes scattered throughout the living room walls. A chuckle parts his lips when he sees you curled up in one of his old hero merch designs - a hoodie that is too large for you, so big that it would seem it has swallowed you whole. Your legs are curled into your chest and your head rests on the arm of the couch, gentle snores making your nostrils shudder.
He tries to pick you up, slipping his arms carefully beneath your frame. But somehow you stir, your eyes peeling open lazily as you smack your lips, slowly sinking away from the realm of slumber. A gentle smile tugs on your lips and you frame his face with your hands, “Another late night?”
“Duty calls,” his voice does not sound as excited as it once did to get those midnight rings from the agency. Now, he just aches to be at home with you at the decent hours of the night, where he can hold you and fall asleep with you and remember why he fell in love with you all over again, every time he gets the faintest of whiffs of your perfume or your shampoo.
“Dinner is in the oven,” you are murmuring, your head lolling against his chest as he settles you into his hold, “I waited for you to start the next season.”
Kaminari is laughing, but the sound of it sobers you up and you grab him by the collar of his jacket with the one arm that is listening to you tell it how to move, the other pinned between your bodies, “H-Hey, don’t laugh at me! I waited for you to start it, now we’re gonna start it.”
Somehow you’re settled back into the couch, hands desperate for him as you search his torso for somewhere to find purchase. Kaminari leans down and kisses your forehead and then the tip of your nose, his lips hovering just above the bow of your mouth as he whispers, “Whatever you want, honey.”
Matchups Original Post | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Commissions | AO3 | Writing Tag
Please check HERE to see if I’ve done your matchup already. Remember, I will also post your matchup with the tag: “#emoji-matchup”, using your emoji in place of the word, so if you can remember your emoji, you can search my blog for that tag to see if I have completed it already!
#kaminari denki#bnha#mha#my hero academia#bnha matchup#mha matchup#kaminari matchup#kaminari denki matchup#morgan does matchups#reality-is-often-disappointing#🎵 matchup
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
the clothies
part two of my the office au! nearly 3k of race being love with a very drunk albert. this is based on 2x01 of the office, ‘the dundies’.
A studious person could say there were four types of managers. Jack Kelly was an exact combination of all of them.
The man wasn’t unlikeable, not in the slightest. In fact, he was almost funny whenever he wasn’t trying too hard. He cared for his employees and co-workers and gave his life for the company he worked in. He was determined to make a family out of the workplace, even if no one felt the same way. No one at all.
It didn’t come as a surprise that the New York branch was one of the youngest-employing ones in the company. Race was about to turn twenty-four and most of his co-workers rounded that number.
All except Les, of course. The kid missed out on all company parties and the blessed opportunity of alcohol. Such a shame.
Every February brought upon the New York branch the most dreaded celebration of all. The Clothies. That was its name. They didn’t even sell real clothes.
The mind of the great Jack Kelly worked wonders. In his first year as a manager, he got around the idea that if his employees got rewarded with worthless pieces of plastic once a year named out to ridiculous categories, then that would be an incentive for everyone and it would turn the New York branch around for magnificent results and numbers to come.
He thought it to be a success. People really just took every chance they got to get drunk.
Race didn’t even like the idea of getting drunk around his co-workers all that much. There were only a few people in there he’d actually call friends—there was Charlie, there was Smalls, there was Jojo…
“Hey, Racey!”
There was Albert, of course.
An arm was slung around his shoulders and he found himself smiling before even stopping himself. He tilted his head and saw a sea of freckles in a dangerously pale face.
“Hey, Red,” he said. Albert grimaced at the name and let go of him. “Excited about the Clothies?”
“Not really,” they said along with a long sigh. “Can’t possibly imagine what my award’s gonna say.”
For two years in a row, Albert had gotten the same award—World’s Longest Engagement. It wasn’t as funny as Jack thought it was. Race was sure Albert hadn’t even laughed the first time when it had only been six months. Now, it just seemed cruel.
Race nodded and patted their shoulder.
“Wanna watch the marathon with me? Twelve hours of footage,” they said, wobbling their eyebrows. “For free.”
Every year Jack made Albert watch through footage of his own video recorder of the many, many editions of the Clothies through the year. Albert and Race usually made popcorn and tried to guess the year by the number of layers Jack was or wasn’t wearing or how thick his New York accent sounded.
This year, however, Race had something in mind.
“You’ll have to live without me,” he said. Albert put a hand on their chest and gaped. “Gotta sort some things out with the boss.”
Albert shook their head, but stood up and headed to the conference room regardless.
“Traitor. Don’t get fired,” they exclaimed over their shoulder. Race smiled.
The closed door that lead to Jack’s office read a sign that said “all my gates are open 24/7”. Race couldn’t help but think, as he knocked on it, about how many levels of wrong that was.
This time, he was putting together a Rubik’s Cube. Literally. Piece by piece.
“Hey, boss,” Race said, peeking through the door as he opened it. “Got a second?”
With both feet on the desk, Jack perked up to see Race and immediately waved him inside, discarding his little do-it-yourself quickly.
“Anthony,” he smiled. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“Still not my name,” Race said as he sat down in a chair in front of Jack’s desk. He looked at his hands for a moment and looked for the easiest possible way to formulate his request without messing it up. With Jack, one really never got a second chance at asking the same thing. The man had a surprisingly small attention span for a branch manager.
“Let me guess—“
“No,” he put a hand up. “See, tonight are the Clothies—yay, again—and I was wondering if you could maybe, I don’t know. Switch things up a little.”
“Yes,” Jack said.
“Because—” Race stopped and frowned. “Yes?”
The man in front of him nodded and shrugged. “I’m an entertainer. I gotta give the people what they want—I’m starting to think my Harlem Shake number is getting a little outdated.”
Race blinked his urge to sigh away. “That’s not—Yes, I mean, I think taking that number out would be good. But I meant something more specific.”
“Oh, sure. I’m always up to suggestions. What’s in your mind?”
“Well, some of the categories. Albert’s, in particular. Maybe you should change their award.”
Jack squinted at him. If it was anyone else, Race would feel busted.
“Why?”
“You know, man,” he sighed, glancing back at Albert’s empty desk through the blinds. “The whole thing with their engagement… It’s getting old.”
The man stopped to think for one moment. Race looked at him, expectant.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“No, Jack, you have to—“
“Woah, look at the time. I have a meeting in exactly—five minutes ago. Thank you for this, it’s been great talking to ya, I really need the room right now. See you tonight!”
And he was up on his feet and brushing Race out the door before any of them could get another word out. Race looked at the closed door before him and sighed thoroughly. He was feeling the trademark defeat and exhaustion that any conversation with his boss made him swim in when, from the room closest to him, Albert’s laugh filled his ears.
He sighed again. Fuck.
If anything could make the day before the awards ceremony worse, it was that by some silent agreement everyone had to stay an hour later than usual. As Race watched the clock strike five, he glanced at Albert with plead.
“I wanna leave.”
“Leave, then,” they said, not looking up from where they were typing out a form on the computer. “And lose your job.”
Race pouted. “You’re no fun today.”
“Not ‘til I get drunk, I’m not. Or drunk enough to miss out on the award, at least.”
That was hard to believe. Albert was never really one to drink in office parties—not that Race knew them all that well outside of office-related life and events. Which wasn’t the point. The point was that picturing Albert drinking their head off just to avoid having a human reaction to Jack’s jokes later in the day was an amusing idea. It would also be entirely justifiable.
Still, Race didn’t quite buy it until later that night, when Albert landed by his side with a tray of empty shot glasses.
His eyes went wide.
“Wow. Hey there.”
He’d been fashionably late, which was a fancy way of excusing himself into missing the first minutes of the ceremony. It didn’t do him any well in the end—he arrived in the middle of a fight between Jack and the audio system.
“Hey,” Albert smiled. “You’re late.”
“You smell like college.”
They shrugged. “I didn’t go to college.”
Race bit his tongue, but Albert just burst out laughing. The night seemed promising enough.
“Where’s—”
Oscar appeared into Race’s field of vision as if summoned. He sat next to Albert and put an arm around their shoulders as another man whom Race only recognized as one of Oscar’s coworkers from the warehouse sat next to him.
“This is Albert,” nodded Oscar before planting a kiss in their cheek. “And that’s Albert’s friend.”
Classy. Race turned to the stranger. “I’m Race,” he extended his hand.
“Snaps,” the man greeted.
“That’s your name?”
“No,” he smiled. “Is Race yours?”
“Ah, touché.”
Race didn’t have to put too much energy into ignoring the couple in front of him because just when the night seemed to never take off, Jack found a way to plug in the right wire and a buzzing sound made everyone cover their ears. As the noise faded away, Jack stepped up on the platform and tapped on the microphone two times before speaking.
It was like a car wreck. Race and Albert had talked about this many times over the years. The Clothies were awful, but they weren’t a thing one could look away from.
“Alright, New York, let’s get this party started!”
On company events, Les was usually Jack’s right-hand-man. Or, right-hand-boy, rather. It was on company parties, when Jack was all by himself, that the delivery of his jokes got more painfully awkward to watch.
As he narrated a story about some clearly invented hot date with an HR representative, Oscar turned to Snaps.
“This is lame. Let’s go to Jacobi’s,” he said.
Snaps nodded. “Yeah, man. I’m out of here.”
“Uh,” Albert looked between them. Race looked at them and saw conflict in their face. Part of him wished they’d stay. Part of him knew they wouldn’t.
Jack seemed to take notice of this interaction, for he stopped his skit to face the table. In the way, he nearly tripped over his foot, nearly knocked someone off with the mic stand, nearly poured his drink over his shoes. Because he was Jack Kelly.
Race sunk in his seat as Snaps stood up beside him and Oscar and Albert mirrored in the seats in front.
“Um, guys, where’re you going?” Jack asked. Oscar and Snaps walked towards the door and Albert glanced at Race before looking at Jack. “Albert, the party’s just getting started.”
They shrugged apologetically. Race felt something burn in his chest.
“Sorry,” they said before running after Oscar.
Jack blinked two times before nodding and resuming his job as an entertainer to a very unamused crowd. Race looked at the door for a moment before turning to the table next to his. Finch and Charlie were immersed in conversation.
“Is that seat taken?” He asked.
Finch smiled at him. “Nah. You’re staying?”
As he stood up to sit back down in his new table, he sighed. “Gotta eat somewhere, right?”
It was one of those nights where time flew by slowly and quickly all at once, and Race wasn’t exactly paying attention. In either fifteen minutes or an hour, Jack managed to tell thirteen jokes, wear two different pairs of fake teeth, and give out exactly one award—Busiest Beaver to Buttons Davenport. She didn’t seem especially flattered when she got up to receive an award that read “Bushiest”.
Race was waving at the waiter for another round and accepting the failure of the already fairly tough night he was facing when the door flung open.
Albert walked in, brushing a hand through their hair. Their entire face was red and their jaw was set, and they ignored the number of inquiring eyes as they made their way to Race’s table. He moved to the side just in time to leave a place for Albert to drop their full weight down.
Jack thankfully didn’t seem to notice their mood, and simply continued with the evening as Albert planted both elbows in the wooden table and stared at a fixed point in it. Finch and Charlie looked at each other and then at Race before slowly standing up and moving to find a new table.
Speaking to an upset Albert was something to be done carefully. Race was a master at the skill, or so he liked to think.
“I thought you’d left?”
Albert looked at him with words behind their eyes, but they dissipated quickly as the tension left their body only enough to let them rest their back against the seat. They shook their head.
“No, Oscar just—I decided to stay.”
“Oh,” Race said.
They reached out for Finch’s abandoned half-empty drink and gulped it down in two movements.
“I’ll get a ride from Jojo.”
“Oh—kay. Okay.”
Albert didn’t move from Race’s side even after the seat in front of them was freed. They just turned to watch Jack’s impressions and ordered a full new round of drinks, successfully ignoring Race’s worried glances. There was a science to drunk Albert—the more they drank, the funnier Jack seemed to them. Which showed how out of it they really were.
In the following hour and a half, Jack made two slightly-out-of-line impressions, gave out the award of Hottest In The Office to Finch, and the award of Tight Ass to Katherine, their HR rep. Neither seemed really excited and their speeches were awkward, but Albert cheered both of them on like there was no tomorrow.
The clock was nearing 11 PM when Jack gave Race one knowing look that made him want to drown in his glass of beer.
“This next award,” the man started. Race anything but hid his face behind his palms. “It goes out to our own little Albert DaSilva. I think we all know what award Al is going to be getting this year.”
Even with Albert not facing his way, Race could tell when the drunken elation in their moves faded and left way for realization. He almost wanted to throw something at Jack to stop it, but he didn’t. Mainly because smacking his boss in the head with bar snacks seemed like a bad decision, no matter how much he had it coming.
They watched in silence.
“It’s the Plant Junkie award—‘Cause their desk always looks like a goddamn botanical garden, ha,” Jack announced. Race’s eyes went wide, and the man winked in his direction.
For a second, Albert scrambled for a reaction inside their brain, but with a little push from Race they stood up and marched enthusiastically to get their award.
Jack stepped aside as Albert stumbled their way up on the platform. From his seat bare meters away Race could see the shine in their eyes and the flush of their cheeks—they wouldn’t remember any of it in the morning. Which only made the following speech more amusing for the sober bystanders.
Albert stood in front of the microphone and shook the award in their hand.
“Wow, um. I have so many people to thank for this award,” they said. Race laughed and shook his head. He wasn’t sure how much of his love was filtering through his eyes as he watched them. “Okay, first off, my plants. Because I couldn't have done it without them.”
People clapped. It was easy. Everyone liked Albert, they were a likable, genuinely nice person. Race cheered along.
“Thank you,” they continued. “Also, um, let's give Jack a round of applause,” they exclaimed. Race perked an eyebrow and Jack looked at them, surprised. “Y’know, for hosting this tonight. It’s a lot harder than it looks. And also because he deals with Les every day.”
Race laughed out loud as people cheered again. Albert was about to step—or fall—out of the platform, but then they faced the microphone again.
“Right. I wanna thank God. God gave me this Clothie,” they said, solemnly looking at the piece of plastic with their name written. “And—I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.”
They mimicked a mic drop and yelled a loud “woo!” in celebration. People cheered again as Jack took their place and they excitedly jumped off of the platform and nearly lost balance. Maybe to make sure they didn’t fall on their head and get a concussion, Race stood up and went to their encounter.
When Albert seemed to extend their arms towards Race for a hug, Race went to catch them and was surprised by a kiss on the lips.
It was short-lived, for Albert fell out of balance moments later and had Jack and Jojo on them immediately. Jack was rambling about killing Albert with his jokes, and Jojo was more worried about checking for a swallowed tongue.
Race blinked and shook himself out of his thoughts immediately. His mouth tasted like alcohol and he grimaced a little at it. He also felt something close to guilt set on his lower stomach. He looked at Albert and sighed before smiling and brushing everyone away to help them stand up.
Albert just laughed and let themself be carried to a stool by the bar.
“It wasn’t that bad,” they said. Race was sitting next to them when he turned and waited for them to continue. “This year, I mean. It was kinda great.”
“Yeah,” Race smiled and shrugged. He intercepted Albert’s reach for a refill of beer and they pouted. “It was actually cool. Jack outdid himself with the impressions, and he called Finch hot—very publically—which was touching. And, we didn’t have to hear him sing his rendition of Tiny Dancer.”
As he spoke, Albert looked at him and nodded with a small smirk. Race looked around, then back at Albert, and they were still staring. He laughed awkwardly.
“What?”
“Nothing,” they said.
“Okay.”
“What?”
“I don’t know,” Race said, frowning. “What?”
Albert bit their lip and started laughing with their head thrown back. They balanced forward and hit their head on the counter. Race started laughing as well.
“Oh, my god. You are so drunk.”
As his best friend flipped him off, Race stood to grab Albert by the shoulders with one hand and get their coat with another. He glanced back at where Jack seemed to be setting up a karaoke machine and then made his way towards the door.
“C’mon, let’s get you a cab home.”
#the office au#newsies#ralbert#racetrack higgins#albert dasilva#ENBY ALBERT#jack kelly#oscar delancey#snaps#(chaz's brooklyn newsie!!)#jojo de la guerra#finch cortes#crutchie morris#buttons davenport#the dundies ep is so :D
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
1) HELLO HELLO! MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS!! IM SORRY I COULDN'T CHECK IN YESTERDAY I WAS TOO BUSY RECOVERING FROM WHATEVER BANGTAN DID AT SBS BECAUSE OHH MY GOD DKSKKAJFKSNSNAKDHSLKAJAJ my noisy joints kicked in again when I watched the entire thing with a huge bowl of rice (that's the most asian thing ever lmao) MY WINTER IS AMAZING I ATE A WHOLE HOT BROWNIE BY MYSELF YESTERDAY SO IM EXTRA CONTENT and aaah IM GOING TO SPEAK THE FACT THAT YOU SEE STARS INTO EXISTENCE!!! 💫
HELLLLLOOOOOOO your second ask and my reply are under the cut because haha whats new i rambled a lot again 💀😂
2) AHAHAH LITERALLY AND THE MUSIC SWITCH WAS REALLY NOT HELPING + THEIR STARES LIKE WHAT THE HELL 😭 AND JOON IN LEATHER? EXCUSE ME I NEED TO FLING MYSELF TO SATURN ghskakdkjd YES JIMIN WRITES THE SWEETEST LETTERS EVER AND IVE HAD IT ON REPEAT TOO MY MOM THOUGHT IT WAS A LEGITIMATE CAROL VMIN SAVED 2020 WITH THEIR SONGS AND SNOW FLOWERS LYRICS!!! THE SWEETEST IM SO SOFT 🥺🥺🥺🥺 +++ yoongi snowman has me ROLLING IT WAS SO CUTE hOW DID THEY DO ALL THAT IN THE SPAN OF 24 HRS AAAAAHHDNLFKFKDKFK-💫
HIIIIIIII! Merry belated Christmasssss!! And PLEAAASEEEE omg don’t be sorry everytime when you’re late in replying!! I totally understand!! AND SBS HOLY SHIT 😭 the black swan set was SO BEAUTIFUL 😭 might be my fave after mma black swan!! and life goes on was so cozy and comfy and YOONGI SNOWMAN GOD MY HEART JUST TURNED INTO MUSH WHEN THEY DID THAT LITTLE STEP LOOKING AT SNOWMAN YOONGI!! AND THEN YOONGI ON WEVERSE 😭😭😭 AND DYNAMITE ASDFGHJKL i loved it so much 😭😭😭
and JOINTS I KNOW RIGHT ASDFGHJKL i didn’t have my laptop that day so I watched the whole thing on my phone and then later when bts was about to perform i suddenly had the brilliant idea of casting it on my tv screen lmao. AND OMG SDFGHJ i had a huge bowl of rice just before the show started and I WAS TRYING SO HARD not to sleep through it. Rice makes me so sleepy asdfghjlk PLUS the added “cozy inside my blanket” wasn’t helping with the sleep either 😂😂 HEY NOW I WANT A BROWNIE TOOOOOOO 😔😔😔😔 AND THANK YOU I HOPE I SEE THEM TOOOOOO <3
EXACTLY ASDFGHJK the music and EVEN THE BLACK FADE OUTS AND BLACK & WHITE PARTS like the editing itself was so frikkin intimidating too. Jimin’s half lidded eyes PLS I HAVEN’T RECOVERED YET GODDDDD. JOON IN LEATHER XCHVJBHKNKL,MNB i swear i lose my mind everytime they put them in leather ooooooffff. AND YES OMG SNOW FLOWER!!!!! THE LYRICS???? HELLO???? TAEHYUNG??? 😭😭😭 “YOU MAKE ME WANNA BE A BETTER MAN” brb crying AND HIS VOICE ASDFDGHFJGKLKJFD yep vmin really saved 2020 and said we’re gonna end it on a high happy note 😔✊ i love them so much 😔 ANYWAY I hope you had a good time with your fam and had lots of cake!!! <3 <3
1 note
·
View note
Text
Hello Kruger, we've missed you
When we lived in Maputo we had to cross the border once a month for Matt's car and my visa, so we ended up going to the Kruger (A LOT) and completely falling in love with the place, as well as with birding..
From our house in the city, over the border and to the Croc Bridge Gate, was 1 1/2 hours (not much more than from Nelspruit to the park) so it was an easy excuse to find ourselves there on a Friday morning at 7:00am until Sunday afternoon.
Because we visit the park so much, our trips there have all begun to blend into each other and we've forgetten a lot of what we have seen and done. Therefore, I really want to record our experiences at the park, to look back on and remember all the wonderful times (so expect a lot of Kruger posts :)
We've been to the park on day trips twice this week 😂😂😂 but with a totally different MO than before. Now it takes us 3 hrs to travel the distance of about 30kms, as we have time to stop for every bird or sit somewhere shady for a while to just enjoy the sounds of the bush.
Women's day was our first time back in the park since January and things couldn't have been more different. Now they only accept pre bookings and only a few of the gates are open. You also have to go at a certain time and can only use the gates in your province. I think they are currently only allowing 30% capacity, which is really nice because you can drive for an hour without seeing another car. We went from Malalane up to Skukuza (H3 via Afsal) and then out Paul Kruger gate. We also stopped for lunch at Skukuza, where they have reopened the old train station and turned it into a restaurant, complete with the original steam engine and train. I found this info about the station on the internet:
A TRIP BACK IN TIME
Known as the railway that saved the Kruger National Park, the Selati line is one of the most expensive railways ever built connecting Komatipoort with Tzaneen during the gold rush heydays. The construction of the line started in 1892 and was only completed in 1912.
In 1923, the South African Railways took over and introduced a “Round in Nine” train tour through the Lowveld, with a stopover at Sabie Bridge, today called Skukuza. The tour soon became very popular for its game viewing, and Kruger was established as a national park in 1926.
Trains still ran through the park up until 1973 after which most of the tracks were removed, leaving the bridge as is and part of the Skukuza scenery.
The old South African Railway Class 24 steam locomotive number 3638 that sits at Skukuza has been stranded there for a while, with only one carriage in tow. This specific carriage has had a fascinating journey. After serving as a suburban coach from 1942, it was converted into a funeral coach and in 1950, it transported the last remains of General J. C. Smuts from Irene near Pretoria to Johannesburg for cremation. In 1967, the coach was repaired, outshopped and became the State Funeral Coach where during its service, it transported the last remains of the Hon. J. G. Strydom. It was eventually donated to the National Parks Board (SANParks), and from 1984-2014 it housed a restaurant. Originally the lounge was paired with a kitchen and dining carriage, but sadly these burnt down in 1996. What was once a beautifully-preserved train and purpose-built station has been off limits to visitors for a while until now. Thanks to the new Kruger Station – a unique lifestyle precinct that captures an important part of the park’s history, it will reopen for all visitors to the Kruger in 2020.
New birds:
.Retz's Helmetshrike (yay finally)
.Brubru
.White-crested Helmetshrike
Then yesterday (Saturday 15 Aug) we went back to the park for another lovely early morning (which turned into a late afternoon). We arrived at 6am and took the S114 dirty road from Malalane to Skukuza, which is about 50kms. We took it slow, stopping at the watering hole on the S114 to watch the birds bathing and then chilled at the Biyamiti weir.. and trust not seeing anyone the whole time but the minute I jump out the car to have a wee, a car pulls up behind us, getting a great view of my bottom 😂😂.
New birds:
.Hooded Vulture
.Lappet-face Vulture
.Common Scimitabill (finally)
.Sabota Lark
.Red-breasted Swallow
Then also saw a very cool Secretary bird
When we were there on Monday we found a previously undiscovered dirty road but didnt have time to explore. So today after lunch we drove from Skukuza to the Phabeni gate (also never used this gate before), using the Very cool Sabie River Road)
On the way home, Matt had to go kind of fast to get up the Hazyview Hills because the clutch (the same one he had fixed twice this year) is not right and we had planned to take it to the mechanic on Monday.. then just like the good old days, bam, a belt snaps (which also should've been checked on the major service in March---- mechanics, what you gonna do 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️). Anyways, luckily Matt noticed the temperature rising so we pulled over and called the AA, who informed us that because of corvid, we both werent allowed to drive back with the tow truck and one of us was going to have to make another plan. Yikes.
We called our mechanic who was unfortunately in Machardodorp, so we called his wife who sweetly changed all her plans to save our day. We didnt say anything to the truck driver about not being able to drive with him and both just jumped in the truck and put seatbelts on and he didnt say anything, so off we went. Then Veronica opened the shop, and dropped us off at a taxi which she had arranged to drive us the 25kms back to our place. Gosh, I must be the bad luck one because this is the first week I've been back in the car since all the drama in Zambia back in feb (which is when the clutch broke) and the car breaks down Haha!!
1 note
·
View note
Text
Gainer, Part 2
(Sort of a One Shot Story Post 2/3)
Another two weeks later and Jeffrey was starting to notice more changes in his body. At first he'd only been gaining weight in his midsection but now a good look in the mirror showed his thighs were rounding out a bit and his hips had widened. He hadn't really heard of other gaining channels talk about their hips widening but he figured it just made sense to accommodate the extra weight. His weight gain had started to pick up and in the last two weeks he'd outgrew his pant size easily. His belly was so round and his skin taut. He expected his middle to be squishier but it was just tight, like when others did water inflation video. Maybe that's what the powder did, help him retain water in his stomach. It accounted for the fact that nowhere else was really getting any bigger, just his ass. While it was a little unexpected, he was loving every bit of it. All he'd really wanted was a belly so the rest didn’t matter so much.
He had a field day buying new clothes. Bigger pants were a must but he wanted to keep his shirt pretty tight to show off his belly. If they rolled up, it was just a testament to his growth. For the option of modesty though, he got a couple large sweaters he could pull on when he needed, but he knew he’d only really wear them if he got cold.
On one of the odd days he and his cousin were actually home at the same time, Ollie chewed him out for basically eating through their shared fridge. They'd argued a bit and his cousin called him a fatass, which pretty much ended the argument since Jeffrey was just so happy to hear it. He promised to pay for his own groceries from then on.
To cover the costs, he took extra shifts at work. He stopped going out as well to keep a straight head at work and because he'd started feeling a lot more tired these days. He figured it might be a side effect of the growth powder, or just exhaustion from work now that he was lugging around extra weight. Could also be a combination of both.
Now that his weight gain was advancing, he'd become a lot more popular online. He was getting close to being able to really earn some money off his channel so he tried to come up with new things to try to keep the attention going. He started a couple livestreams where he stuffed himself silly with his new found cravings. His most popular livestream was called 'I stuff myself with peanut butter in ramen for 2 hrs'. It also had the most dislikes he'd ever seen because so many people were disgusted by the combo but it was just a testament to his fame.
“So, I have some cool developments,” he said, one night in a video. Ollie was home and trying to sleep in the next room so he felt like he had to whisper. “I got…Dun dunna nah! Cankles!” He chuckled as he lowered the camera to his swollen ankles. “My work shoes fucking suck right now, but yeah… I think this is dope. My whole legs are thick. Some of you guys have joked that I look pregnant. Hah, yeah, wouldn’t that be something? Baby Heff…” He slapped his belly. It jutted out now like he’d swallowed a whole grapefruit. “Which one of you handsome beasts wants to be my baby Daddy?” He laughed a little in embarrassment. “Anyway, yeah, as we saw earlier in this video, I now weigh 122.5 lbs and my belly measures in at 33 inches. I’m on my way to hefty! Back hurts a little from the weight but we make sacrifices for the ideal bod, right? Subscribe to HEFFrey! Later!”
A week later, Jeffrey was at work when he had an unexpected visitor. He was a cashier at a local knick-knack store so most of the people who came just looked around and left, so he spent most of his time sitting on his ass, reading articles on his phone. It made sense that he didn’t notice the guy until he was at the counter with a pair of oven mitts with moose printed on them.
“Is that everything?” Jeffrey asked as he scanned the item.
“You are doing well. Your growth is beautiful.”
He recognised that voice and looked up from the mitts to find the tall pale stranger again, staring with his wide sun coloured eyes.
“D-ude…” Jeffrey beamed. “I fucking owe you one. That powdered stuff worked dreams! I’m like, fucking inflating. Look at this shit…” He came around the side of the counter and squeezed the sides of his belly. “You can touch it if you want.”
The stranger smiled and placed a hand on the underside of Jeffrey’s stomach. Immediately, pleasure shot through the entire length of Jeffrey’s body and he nearly creamed himself. His knees trembled as he looked up at his visitor.
“What the fuck was that?” Jeffrey asked through a suddenly salivating mouth.
“Is there a back room in private?” the stranger asked.
Jeffrey blinked, then acted without saying anything. He went to the front, locked the door, flipped out the closed sign, and dragged him to the manager’s office. The manager was pretty much never there on week days so it was empty and Jeffrey didn’t hesitate to throw his shirt off and press his lips onto the stranger’s.
The next thing he knew, he was entangled with the strange man on his manager’s desk, his whole body hot, sweaty and nude. The stranger had a hand over his stomach, stroking it gently.
“It is time for departure,” the stranger said, pulling his hand away and sitting up. “I must go.”
“Geez… Really?” Jeffrey said. “After a fuck like that, I almost want you to marry me…”
The stranger just smiled a toothy grin and got off the table. He did up his pants, pulled on his shirt and walked out.
Jeffrey panted and got up after him, trying to pull his boxers back on in the process. “Wait a sec! I don’t even know your name!”
The stranger was already at the door by this point. “That is unimportant.” Then he disappeared into the street. The moose mitts were gone but there was cash on the counter.
Another two weeks and Jeffrey was living the dream. On his way home from work one time, a guy had actually offered him a seat thinking he was pregnant. Jeffrey wondered if he came off as a girl too since he never could grow facial hair and he was quite petite but he shrugged it off. He had other things to be happy about. He’d actually started getting revenue off his channel, it was so popular. He could no longer see his dick past his stomach without a mirror and even his chest had started puffing out. He’d named his tiny moobs Bub and Bo and liked to run his hands over them to feel their sensitivity. His speedy weight gain had left stretch marks webbing the sides of his belly so he’d started filming videos of himself lotioning up his big round belly.
“We are week seven after taking that growth powder.” He was just squeezing some lotion onto the top of his bulbous belly. “I am fucking fat and I love it. 136 lbs and 39 inches around. Some of you think my weight is really low, but I’m not gonna lie, I’m a short dude. At 5’6”, this is pretty big for me. I mean, I did like a google search, and the average weight for a dude my height is supposed to be, like, around 130 lbs, but I’ve always been skinny so like that extra 24 lbs since the beginning of this is so awesome. And I mean, I got the belly to prove it. You can see it. It’s out there, Internet.” His stomach was now nice and soft so he switched to baby oil to give it a nice shine. “I just want to keep growing like this forever. Imagine where I’ll be in a couple months. I’ll look like a house.”
He leaned back in front of the camera to give them an underbelly perspective. “The underside... God, it's so sensitive. I'm so horny all the time now, but like if you rub under my belly, expect to be in my bed for a little while. Like, fuck dude. You can probably already see me getting a boner, can't you?”
He sat up again and patted his belly. “A lot of the belly gaining videos on here have like no talking... I think I probably talk the most. Oops. But you guys like it, right? Heh heh. I like talking to you. It's like I have an internet of boyfriends. And girlfriends, I'm sure some of you might be ladies. Or, you know, otherwise. I don't try to discriminate. I'm gay AF but anyone can watch my videos. Just hopefully not my aunt. Haha. Okay... I think that's it for this video. Subscribe if you haven’t already. Later.”
Part 1
Part 3
114 notes
·
View notes
Text
Promare Review [Spoilers]
OK, folks, roughly 24 hrs ago, I just finished watching Promare. This is my first experience of watching an anime at the cinema, and it. was. EPIC. I had been waiting for this for months.
Let’s go into the bad parts first. The plot was...average for Trigger’s standards. There wasn’t anything that makes it stand out from other Trigger shows. The movie didn’t have enough time to fully flesh out its world-building and develop its characters. I found that all of them don’t have enough depth, though they have pretty good motivations for their actions. In terms of world-building, we got this quick info dump before the final battle for why this whole Burnish thing happened in the first place. I’m not a fan of info dump, it was kinda boring and cliche. There was also a lack of strategies and planning. It’s mostly based on luck and Galo trying to punch harder if punching doesn’t work. The most (and only) thought out move is Heris blowing up the core. Kray being the main villain is completely predictable. They gave that away in the trailers they show us (as you probably have seen me complaining). In fact, I think Trigger knows that, that’s why they revealed his true colours so early into the movie.
The good parts of the movie are mostly from the cinematic experience it gives. The amazing, wacked up animation of Trigger on the big screen, plus Hiroyuki Sawano’s music blasting to your ears, is FUCKING. WILD. I was hyped up so much, I had to resist the urge to scream the entire time. Of course, there were a fuckton of references to their past shows, and I love it. Being there among an audience really enhances your experience. When the awesome parts come, people clap and cheer, and you do too. When the funny parts come, people laugh, and you do too. I always love the fact that Trigger is completely aware of what they’re doing. Like when Galo, Aina and Lio just happened to find the dead professor’s secret lab, who just happened to develop a mech that they need. I was thinking, “Well, that’s convenient” when there it is, the guy named his mech ‘Deus Ex Machina’. Everyone was laughing their ass off. Trigger turned an otherwise very cliche part into the most hilarious scene in the movie.
Another memorable part is Galo’s life-saving kiss scene. Some people was groaning prior to it because we all knew what was gonna happen, then people kinda laughed, then the crowd slowly went wild when it happened. Everyone was clapping and cheering. For a non-romantic kiss scene, it has no business of being that long and that good. It’s probably one of the best kiss scene I’ve ever seen in anime, and this is, I think, the first time Trigger ever makes a kiss scene. Trigger, you better start making more romance anime now. Bitch can’t tease me like this.
Some other great minor moments include Galo’s energy being, “MMMMM YEAHHHH can’t really fight in this fugly robot”, and the final scene with Kray just sitting there. I can get how he felt. The plan that he had worked on for a big part of his life was ruined completely. It was hopeless for him so he wasn’t being all aggressive to Galo and Lio anymore, because it was useless. He just sat there and accepted it. We’re not really sure if he’s a redeemed villain or not. I hope that they will still charge him for his crimes.
Welp, that’s all. If you haven’t watched Promare, then why are you reading this then you should. For me, it worth every penny I paid.
#go fucking do it#be the trigger hype monkey#promare#studio trigger#anime#galo thymos#lio fotia#aina ardebit#kray foresight#anime review
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I’ve decided I’m gonna start venting on here more because you gotta vent somewhere right?
I know I usually end all my mental health rants on a positive note about how I’m putting myself back together after a breakdown and am getting back to making art but REAL TALK, this has been a horrible year for me.
Sparing most of the details, my personal relationships have been a mess. My closest friends have all moved far away and nearly lost touch with me or betrayed me, my ex who I still loved committed suicide in March 2017 which still makes me feel devastated on a regular basis. Following his death I feel back into extreme depression/BPD episodes and bad habits and made some hasty and poor life choices- including letting a guy is only been seeing for a month move in with me. I soon after found out he was not a good person and I spent most of the last year living in that toxic relationship which hurt me deeply and rehashed many of the C-PTSD issues I was recovering from back to fresh wounds. That relationship cost me a lot emotionally and financially- I have since been scraping by month to month with assistance from my dad (bless him for his help). Just when I finally cut ties 100% with my toxic ex and was ready to start pulling myself together, my grandma nearly died in Breast Cancer surgery. My grandma has always been my rock and the person I turn to with all my problems and I love her more than basically anyone on earth. She needed 24/hr care for nearly 4 months straight with only my mom and I to provide for her. I basically stopped working and dropped my whole life to be by her side during that time. I wish I could say she has improved but even though she can walk again and her wounds are very slowly healing, it has all taken a toll on her usually sharp mind. She is in her late 70’s and since the multiple surgeries she’s had her memory is nearly gone. She repeats the same conversations over and over, blames my mom for all the things she looses (which is causing a lot of fighting and drama), gets really upset that she can’t recall things and is confusing the present for the past quite often. It is so hard for my mom and I to watch her going through this and we can’t do anything to make it better. My mom has been relying on me for emotional support but I myself have been crumbling. The person I would usually turn to for support is my mom and grandma but now I feel like they need me and I’m barely able to be any help. It makes me feel terrible.
With my old shopmate moved away, I work alone in my studio now and with my ex bf and ex best friend both moved out I’m down to one roommate (I’m used to having 3-4) and he works nights a lot and sleeps most of when he’s not working so I am completely alone for around 80% of my time. Don’t get me wrong, part of my introverted nature loves this but also in coupling with my overthinking and many reasons to feel sad/worried/upset it is not great for my mental health. I’ve even applied to some part-time jobs just to get out more and have a more stable income but none have called me back seeing as my resume mostly lists my past work experience as “self employed artist” for the past 4 years. That doesn’t exactly make a great reference for most jobs. Attempts made on Facebook to advertise renting my extra shop space has yielded no new shopmate or rent income but has gotten me many many creepy men sending me friend requests and often inappropriate messages which has just been an added frustration on top of feeling lonely, isolated, anxious and depressed often.
I’m trying my very best to throw myself back into art/work full-time even on bad days, to be kind to and care for myself, to stay hopeful and in control of my own thoughts, avoid self harmful behaviors, use coping skills and reach out for help when I need it without hating myself for it... but it’s hard.
It’s so damn hard.
So here’s a nice photo of me being the sad deranged creature that I am- putting on spook makeup just to mope around my apartment and washing my it off to avoid attention when I have to defy my agoraphobia and go into the world of humans.
I’m trying hard to have a little more love for myself.
#jean speaks#selfie#self love#depresion#ptsd#panic disorder#self ham#eating disroders#anxiety#venting#personal
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
14 posts created (67%)
7 posts reblogged (33%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 0.5 posts.
I added 14 tags in 2021
#youtube - 2 posts
#tired tired tired - 2 posts
#lgbtqia - 2 posts
#i need to go to bed - 2 posts
#original music - 1 posts
#lifepog - 1 posts
#wiccalife - 1 posts
#draw me like one of your french girls - 1 posts
#gayyyyyyyyyy - 1 posts
#swaggalicious - 1 posts
Longest Tag: 127 characters
#do you ever feel like you just wanna pass out but you can’t because you’ll still feel tired afterwards just a little more tire?
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Anime Recommendations The Sequel
Alright we’ve got more in store for the peeps. It’s spooky month sooo, might as well tale this time to recomend my favorite
psychological horror and murder anime’s because it’s that time of the month. Anyway, right off the bat I’m gonna start easy and say go watch danganronpa. And I know what your thinking, “Is this bitch really telling me to go watch this show everyone says to go watch and theres kinda a cult following for it?” Yes, I am. I’m not part of the cult following so you can trust me, it’s actually a pretty cool show so go check it out for a murder mystery/detective sort of feel. Next one is school live, which I really can’t say much about just because you need to watch it first, that’s it. School girls and apocalyptic zombies? thats all. Also loveable characters. Next one is my all time favorite, puella madoka magica, a story about magical girls being corrupted and used for an unknown reason. It’s got a lot of awesome fight scenes, but also raw characters and emotions. Go watch it. The last one is the darkest out of the bunch so imma put out an “adult, mature“ ⚠️ warning. It’s happy sugar life and if you want a show that will leave you feeling utterly disgusted and dissatisfied afterwards, this is the show for you. Thats really all I have to say
1 notes • Posted 2021-10-04 12:24:25 GMT
#4
School
School is so tiring, and I mean it’s definitely 50 times better now that I’m in highschool but damn…It takes so much out of you. I wake up at 5:00, get ready, get on the bus, get to school, wait in a security line for 20 mins, 1 hr first period, 1 hr second period, lunch, 1 hr, hr you get the idea. Then I have to get on a shuttle to drop me off at a whole nother school just to get on my actually bus which takes an hr to get to my house. So when I finally get home I’m pretty drained and I still have to pretend like I have energy because I’m an older sibling. And I have no clue what to do with myself afterwards because I’m so mentally put out…..
1 notes • Posted 2021-09-29 22:42:45 GMT
#3
Romance Anime
I started recently watching konohana kitan which is about gay fox girls working at a hot springs with magical fantasy aspects and looks at lesbian relationships of all kinds and it’s pretty light in terms of content. But it’s just really sweet, and who could pass up some cute lesbian fox girlys. Not only that, but because Miss Kobayashi dragon maid popped back up with our beautiful season two, it’s back on the radar for talking. Go watch it, it’s about miss kobayashi and her dragon maid tohru and they get into all sorts of wacky mischief as the work through they’re new life together. Also Tohru is kinda in love with miss Kobayashi so it’s adorable ☺️
1 notes • Posted 2021-09-20 13:07:05 GMT
#2
ok but like, sleep?
today is definitely everyone is tired day and naps are being taken and I kinda wanna pass out when I get home for the day….😪
2 notes • Posted 2021-10-07 13:01:08 GMT
#1
gender and pronouns
So, experimenting with my gender and pronouns. Today is the first day I’m gonna go by Sinclair he/him. Wish me luck
5 notes • Posted 2021-09-23 11:56:25 GMT
Ok, but I love how my number one post was about my gender and pronouns 💀🤚🏽
if anyone is confused about what gender and pronouns I go by, I’m gonna update my bio with my current status after I post another about me post because im always re thinking things!
But also let me be frank by saying, it doesn’t matter what I go by dammit ☠ 🤣🤣🤣
0 notes
Text
Tinnitus Success Story: Beth
New Post has been published on https://thebestsolution4u.com/tinnitus-success-story-beth/
Tinnitus Success Story: Beth
Tinnitus Success Story: Beth
my name is Beth Leoben.. I’m a mom.. I have two grown children launched out the door. I work in sales. I work for a clinical lab so. I am out seeing physicians most of the day my bliss is my cycling. I’m a road cyclist. I also ski . I hike and anything outdoors. I’m just happy my tinnitus (my T) started over Christmas . I was sitting on my sofa.
Tinnitus Success Story: Beth
I would hear it in the background and my background is speech pathology and audiology just like dr. Julie’s that’s what my undergraduate degree is so. I sort of knew what it was and then. I had an episode that week that was pretty traumatic that happened in front of my house and the stress was pretty high and then it just turned on my sound is very high-pitched it’s a hiss.
If you picture a wind tunnel that the wind is moving very very quickly and there are shards of glass hitting each other that’s in my head how. I describe it sometimes. I cannot turn it off nothing will make it go away . I hear a 24/7. I’m an early riser . I do a lot of my computer work my emails at 6:00 in the morning.
I could not put a sentence together I’d get up. I sit in front of the computer. I put music on the music was bothering me put the TV on TV was bothering me. I couldn’t put a sentence together work was not good in fact. I went to the HR gal . I said.
I may go on FMLA for three months. I thought. I needed to take off time distress because stress makes it worse and just go away for a bit and see if. I can get this better by myself my son told me mom it came on so quickly it’s going to go away really quickly so every day. I get up . I kept waiting. I didn’t want to admit and acknowledge that this wasn’t going away by itself . I am more of a holistic kind of person so.
I wanted to try anything that was not invasive. I went to an audiologist and she tested my hearing and she said you do have a mild to moderate high frequency hearing loss . I said what can. I do about it and she said nothing much. I had about six sessions of acupuncture they felt great didn’t do any good he put me on a bunch of different supplements and then two weeks later it got really bad.
youtube
I finally went to see an ENT and he did all the testing he said you’re absolutely perfectly structurally fine he threw a plethora of drugs at me to see if the inflammation would get away and nothing nothing worked so. I did all the avenues. I needed to do. I was physically fine. I had no balance problems. I had no headaches.
I didn’t have any symptoms of something structurally wrong with me but when you have T you try everything. I would have gone and seen a witch doctor in a teepee if someone could have helped me it was on one night . I remember this vividly it was the Academy Awards . I was by myself at home.
I couldn’t sit still it was so loud that. I was pacing . I was crying it was a turning point for me it was getting worse and worse and worse my anxiety was getting worse and then that night. I had to do something. I hit bottom the next day my car drove me dr. Julie’s office and Patrick was there and when. I said to him. I need help.
I broke down crying and Patrick started talking to me and he said we can help you you’re so new to this we can help you and then dr. Julie walked in and the first thing she said to me. I remember was that she said when her T gets bad she has to leave a patient because she can’t focus . I said you get it you understand what.
I am going through if you don’t have this at the level that. I have it and probably so many of her patients that you don’t get it and she said make an appointment. I can help you we can get this better and she herself has tinnitus. it’s like anything else until you walk in someone else’s shoes you really don’t know what someone’s experiencing .
I knew that for the two months that. I had it without help everyone was trying to be so supportive but they didn’t get it and then when dr. chu Julie told me she had it. I knew. I knew. I could get help. I had a scheduled MRI for nine o’clock the next day Julie had an opening the same time . I cancelled the MRI .
I saw Julie and that afternoon when. I left. I was a new person. I had hope. I just knew. I had a plan. I did not have a plan before and it changed my whole mental attitude. I said okay. I’m gonna get better this is going to get better when they explained it to me when they explained how scientifically this works.
I went fine it made sense it clicked it. I’m a science person so it just made so much sense to me then of course it’s going to work an analogy if. I could I was telling my son this and he said mom. it’s just like a stroke victim when someone has a stroke you have to get the neural pathways changed to get their arms working or their legs working again and the sooner the better that’s exactly what they’re doing with your brain. This is so recent for you they’re just going to create new neural pathways .
I went of course it is made sense and when you accept it and you believe it it works the T sound is still there. I still hear it. I’m only three months in and Julie said six months to a year my anxiety is gone. I had such high anxiety where being alone was very uncomfortable for me.
I need to be surrounded or talking to somebody that went away within a week the tone therapy the Zen therapy made it go away and to me that was worth everything you always hear about hearing aids and you always think it’s for older people I’ve accepted them it’s takes one second to put them in my ear.
Read more: Tinnitus and Hearing Aids
I don’t even know. I have them in that tiny no one ever knows. I’m wearing them. I love them it’s weird but. I love the tones it’s very zen it’s very calming to me . I’m really kind of proud of it because it has helped me so much work is great. I can compose emails.
I’m cycling. I was skiing again going out with friends having a good time gardening cooking doing everything. I love it it’s not interfering anymore it’s really in the background for me now. I will say the one thing. I miss and people have tinnitus understand this.
I don’t have silence anymore so when. I went skiing. I used to have that beautiful silence. I don’t get that anymore but. I know. I will. I know this will get better it makes so much sense to me it makes so much scientific sense that. I know it’ll work. I just have to give at the time that she told me to give it but with the anxiety being gone.
I’m living my life again if. I can tell people who are watching this to not be scared not be skeptical not be embarrassed it’s just part of life it’s part of what happens to our bodies but you don’t have to live with it and you don’t have to live with the anxiety which can really ruin your life it can really stop you from living your life and life is wonderful and the minute.
I had this and the anxiety went away . I said it maybe took a week of this tone therapy. I’m back . I’m really happy
Read more: Silencil Natural Remedies For Tinnitus
0 notes
Text
Episode 9 - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ - Keegan
So I talked to Coco, and both of us agreed now is not the time to flip. It was a pretty obvious choice, my last confessional was just me over thinking things but what else is new? I don’t feel bad about sticking with my og tribe (which is a strategy I usually hate) because we haven’t really had a crucible? or a split? Like it’s not like I know I’m on the bottom from previous votes, there were none. So there’s no reason for me or anyone to flip.... i hope.
We voted Darcy out, and now the hard part begins, trying to get Mac to believe I might still work with him. Ideally what I want is a “let’s protect each other until it is time to flip” scenario, but thats a hard sell, and is also very risky
youtube
Darcy was blindsided and voted off. Which is quite upsetting. Darcy was a great person and a close ally of mine. On the plus side Livingston was very much left out of the majority vote which means that he’s fully on our side now.
I hate saying that. “Our side” “Their side”. I don’t feel like I entirely fall into a specific side at the moment. Heather and I have had great conversation and a bond of mutual trust. Even though we didn’t vote together we’re watching each other’s backs. And that’s 95% the reason I didn’t panic play my hidden immunity idol.
Mac told me he also has an extra vote so that’s incredibly useful to us. Part of me is hoping Heather wins immunity again and sends me off to Oak Island. I’d like the opportunity to pick a third advantage in this game.
On an interesting note Kyle is saying that Austin doesn’t feel comfortable and wants to make a move. I’m not sure I trust that so early on in the merge and so soon after immediately voting someone out. It could be a trap.
And I’m back to being annoyed at Kyle. He told Livingston and Darcy to message Heather the moment she said things were quiet to Kyle. If she didn’t suspect the three of them of being a tight group she certainly did after that.
I’m seriously questioning the gameplay of some of these people. It’s bizarre.
So this morning Kyle whips out a whiteboard and starts planning shit. Calm down there.
Anyways, he made a colour coded chart about “cross tribal relations”. Kyle and Livingston are connected with Coco, Dan is connected with Austin and Eric, and I’m connected with Heather. Mac has no connections apparently.
So his brilliant plan is for us to win immunity and send Glo to Oak Island. So far so good, I’m down with that even though I flopped massively in the challenge and won’t be winning at all.
And then he hits me with “Are you good to vote Heather?” So instead of voting of Stephen or Evan who we don’t have a relationship with, you want to vote off the one person I do have a relationship with?
All this partly hinges on Austin flipping and voting off Heather because apparently Austin told Kyle he wants to make a big move. I don’t buy it but believe what you want to believe.
The other big part of this plan is relying on Dan to butter up Austin and make him flip. But really why would Dan even work with us in the first place? The Kevin’s Revenge group was formed entirely to get rid of Dan and the others already out. Why is Dan suddenly with us again?
If I was Dan I’d be running for the hills of Musquadibeeboo or whatever that tribe was called.
All of this has shown me that it’s really Kyle who has to be voted off. He’s playing really hardcore and he has Livingston in his back pocket. That’s not a relationship I want to power through this game.
So my next step is to have a nice conversation with Heather about all of this. Let her know she’s being targeted and figure out how to stop this.
Also Mac mentioned he also has an extra vote and wants us to both use it to help us out this tribal but... I don’t want to use mine yet. I don’t think I need to use mine yet.
We’ll have to see what happens with immunity but Coco promised me that if he wins, he’ll send me to Oak Island which would actually be great. I’d get to sit out of this messy ass vote and keep both of my advantages intact.
So tribal last night went pretty as planned for what seemed like it was going to be messy. That morning it seemed like I was going to be the one to get votes, but I guess that I was able to take the target off my back by talking to everyone on the other side and telling Livingston I was aware of the plan for me to receive votes. Evan ended up getting their 5 votes, while the 7 of us that are in an alliance voted Darcy out. I would say that while I didn't call the shot this vote, that I can call it a good move on my part because the actions I took resulted in me not being the target. Now it's time for me to do the challenge and hope I win, because I could use a round of safety. 4
So... drama happened. Heather called the Chatty Trio, and said apparently Austin through her name out? But Austin had already said that the other alliance was trying to vote her out? Idk that convo didnt go anywhere cause we were interrupted by Krackd Kyle leaping gracefully into the cool waters of wtf territory and giving his immunity to heather. What??? That is not smart! The only two ways that would work in his favour is if he is trying seperate himself from his alliance and form a bond with heather (bit late). OR he already has immunity from an advantage and is trying to cause drama. Thats more likely, and it does worry me, cause if Austin is trying to flip on us, he might aim for me now that heathers immune. Now i’m not as threatening as heather, I like to think I’ve played a solid sorta utr game so far in that i haven’t been overly social or strategic, but who knows. Right now I think Livingston or Keegan is the best vote, but I am looking for future flipping opportunities and Keegan has been social with me. God, this is a tough game.
So I didn't win immunity which is annoying, but I wake up and there's a bunch of messy shit that I don't understand, like why Kyle gave immunity to Heather and why theres a rumor about Mac. Honestly I'm tired of these people because they are only extra for the sake of being extra. I don't know about the other players but I'm not voting for someone because they are the loudest player. I'm gonna figure this out and hope I'm not targeted again because I don't know where I'm at with people atm
Today is the day when we finally blindside Austin. I've been waiting so long for this moment but now I know the time is right. I feel like so far I've been cruising by, but now is the time to put something on my resume, get control of this game, and take a threat out. Now, I just need to convince 6 other people to do the same thing.
Coco is completely on board with the Austin plan, and so is Kyle, Keegan, and Mac. Now it all comes down to Heather. I discussed the plan to her before and she wasn't completely down with it, but after I told her I had an idol she was considering it more. However, the craziness of today's vote took a huge toll on her mental health to the point where she's considering throwing it away! C'mon Heather!
Kyle taking charge of the Austin blindside is something I'll have to deal with. It was 100% my idea since day one, but I have to keep the truth lowkey, because if I don't, I could be next on the chopping block.
Darcy went home. I’m hurt. I want revenge. I’ll get revenge. FOR NOW, Austin’s going home because me n him are snakes and I’m the Snakiest snake so he gotta go. Me and Glo have a “mutual therapist” bond where I’m the Psychologist and we give each other some intel. I think I can outsmart Glo, I absolutely love Glo with all my heart but I can’t let her get to the end. She’d win easily. I told Keegan about my extra vote then less than 24 hrs later and then Coco said apparently I had a double vote. I obviously lied about having it and make myself seem like I don’t have anything. Oops.
Fuckkkkkk I feel I'm def the one going home.heather is telling me evan and coco have flipped on me which would be really shitty bc I thought I was close with them . I know for a fact heather is against me so that sucks . I dont know what else I could really do but I'm gonna fight til I'm gone . Atomic survivor gods be with me
I had a video confession about this round but it wont load and it would be a whole lot to type khjkh
I think this is my first confessional this episode and all I have to really say is:
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Heather comes to me late before tribal starts by asking me, "What if Kyle is just using me you and Coco so that the 5 of them could send home whoever they want in a 5-4-3 vote (assuming Mac plays his double vote advantage)" I thought about it, and it made sense; why would Kyle want to blindside Austin so much? Why would Kyle take orders from someone other than himself? So my backup idea that I proposed to Heather is that she switches her vote to Livingston, so that there's three possible outcomes; a 5-5-2 revote Livingston goes home; a 5-4-2 vote and Livingston goes home (basically Heather is voting for Livingston to counter Mac's advantage), or everyone just sticks to the Austin plan.
Kyle is desperately trying to get Dan to vote for Austin late, but I really don't want that. I need Dan to vote for Livingston, despite myself voting for Austin. This is because we need Dan in case the 4 OG members from the other tribe minus Dan plus Livingston decide to pick off whoever they want in a 6-4-2 vote. We can't have that; we need it to be 5-5-2. I am desperately trying to sway Dan last minute to make sure I don't get blindsided.
So..... ugh. I’m voting out austin. I hate to do cause i love the guy and trust him with my game, but coco and evan, the silent shady ones, have flipped for no others reason than a slight change in the wind. Seriously, dumb. This is really annoying cause I wanted to get livingston and kyle out before i flipped. But now I have to work with an alliance that only 1 quarter of have spoken to me about the vote. Not good. Hopefully i can have some sort of honest reputation (me! honest! aint this a turn out for the books) and convince them next round that im a better ally than shady evan. However this just means theyre gonna keep voting us out, so maybe we just piece together our broken alliance next round.
It's always the people scared about flipping that flip. 9-2. I was the only one voting to keep Austin when it should have been 6-5. Not one person told me to vote Austin or that Austin was the vote. Not even very last second without explanation. I didn't know my loyalty meant jackshit but here we are. All I gotta say is nice eric is gone, and everyone's about to see a new face. Prepare yourselves.
0 notes
Note
multiples of three, please.
oh man i cant believe ur making me do maths at 4:18 am... but here goes nothing! (it’s gonna be long so i put it under a read more)
3. Ever done any drugs?
uhhhh... yeah, for a short period yrs ago i had a friend group and with them we smoked weed pretty much every weekend... they did some hard drugs too but i never dared trying those cuz im a lil bitch lmao aaaaand i don’t do that anymore, it’s an expensive hobby to have and i usually waste my drugs money on pc games and ordering food srgsdfg
6. Describe your dream home.
probs somewhere in a big city, close to the center because i love being a big city kid.... a mid-sized flat with lots of plants and those neat cat playgrounds mounted on the wall because i plan on having at least 4 cats in the future asdsd and i’d love to have a bigger balcony which i could transform into a little jungle and hand a hammock there and just chill and listen to the city’s noises at night when i can’t sleep
9. Do you watch porn?
you may not believe but i actually don’t sdgsdfg the horny teen phase is over for me, if i wanna interact with anything pornographic i just read fanfiction dfgsdfgsf
12. What’s one of your fantasies?
i hope it’s not supposed to be an erotic one lmao but i really wanna go on a road trip through europe, just pack up my shit and drive around, also i wanna visit haunted places all around england and get into the gaming business as a game translator/tester eventually
15. Are you in a relationship?
thank god not anymore... and honestly i don’t miss it anymore, all of my previous ones were disasters and ended in a really ugly manner so.. no, i’m all good with my cat
18. What tattoos do you want?
i don’t have specific plans for motives - though i’d really like a kitsune mask somewhere and a moon and one song quote. i’d like to have my whole left sleeve done, maybe part of my back, a half sleeve on my right hand and something smaller on my ankle - and i’m actually open to anything the tattooists would pick out; i care more about who’s gonna create my tattoo than what’s it gonna be, as my actually existing 2 tattoos r also premade, randomly picked out ones (though they accidentally matched up in some way and look pretty neat imo)
21. Describe your best friend.
that’s a hard one.... i don’t think i have one anymore. i used to have this girl in my life, M, who i was really close to, but we had a fallout in october and she never came around to fix this even though i was open to the idea... so i lost my best friend, which is kinda sad considering that she was the only person i could open up to in the last 3 yrs. but hey that happens! i moved on and have a close friend still so im all good.
24. What are three places you want to travel?
i really wanna visit scotland! it has this specific atmosphere i really long to experience, and i wanna see the landmarks and grassy fields and loch ness and haunted places and just roam around there for a while.
i also wanna see moscow - it’s been sort of an obsession of mine since reading glukhovsky’s metro series, and also it’s a beautiful city worth visiting. i’d also like to get on the trans-siberian express but that’s not a specific place dsfsgdf
the last place would be the aokigahara forest in japan - also one of the places i feel drawn to for ages now. found out about it years ago and since it’s been sort of a plan of mine to visit one time. if i manage to graduate university my mum promised to send me on a trip to japan - so if it works out, ill be on my way there baby! (i just need to work on my language skills first sasdfgf)
27. What’s your pet peeve?
loud breathing, loud chewing... generally people being loud and annoying. ppl not covering their mouths while coughing. ppl who walk super slowly and take up all of the walkway like FUCK OFF OF MY WAY GODDAMMIT. in games when the npc walks a lot slower than ur running, but walking a lot faster than ur walking so its impossible to keep up with them. ppl not using headphones in public spaces. old ppl demanding respect when they treat u like shit. ppl forcing their religion on u (im looking at u auntie). ppl slurping their drinks. couples almost f*cking each other in public places... just get a room smh
30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.
oh i don’t need to tag them cuz i already got over that shyness and they totes know already that i wanted to talk to them for a while! (i admitted to it in the tackiest, cheesiest, most awkward anon ask i ever sent in to anyone sdfgsdf)
33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?
pretty much the same as now, all black and flannels and jeans, cuz i rly thing that major clothes shopping sprees r a waste of money sdfdf but i’d probably own a lot lot more shoes like custom made cat patterned vans and some more nikes and some creepers cuz i wanted to get some of those for like yrs now dfgdfg
36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?
uhhhh... kind of? not romantic ones tho, i just miss the long talks and the trust and understanding between us. i never got the closure i needed to move on and it still left some bad feelings towards her so its a weird mix of resentment and sympathy, and i try to not think abt it too much.
39. Are you a virgin?
hahahahahahahahah, no, really.
42. Describe the hottest person you know.
the hottest person i personally know is one of the ppl i used to be on my universitys e-sport team on with dfasd i always had a weak spot for ppl taller than me and hes literally model material with nice cheekbones and the perfect jawline and the best sense of humor ever. though he’s a widowmaker main in overwatch and thats a big big minus for him :(
45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
lmaooooo thats a funny one listen up... so i was fresh out of breakup and wanted to make some friends.... wait for it.... ON TINDER. i live in an university town so i was like kewl imma make some ppl my age (until then all of my friends were A LOT older than me) and have some friends and if romance happens then it happens, w/e. so i set up this bar night with this one guy, i believe his name was David? so David and i meet up for drinks, i grab a gintonic and we sit down to talk... what he never knew abt me is that i am on the adhd spectrum and i have to get my hands busy with smth so i can focus on what im saying otherwise my thoughs r all over the place. so im casually keeping my hands busy with just spinning my locked phone there and back, or just messing around with the lime slice on my glass and at a random moment David goes like “u know.... i hate when ppl cant stop messing around with their phone” and im like ????? dude im literally just spinning it, not even messaging anyone or unlocking it or shit. and he goes on this rant that he always expects ppl to pay full attention to him when talking, looking at him (i never look ppl in the eyes cuz i tend to just go into panic mode from long eye contact and also i think its creepy to just stare at someone constantly) and just not doing anything else except paying attention to him so i go on explaining to him that i need to keep myself busy and im not doing it to annoy him - but he keeps on insisting so i excuse myself to a cigarette (he also hated smokers lmao) and call the widowmaker main friend from the previous question and am like “hey man i have the worst date of my life can u be at this place in 40 minutes and then we hit the night life” and hes like fine so i go back to David and tell him “sorry mate i just remembered i have my last bus home in 30 minutes and the next one is in 1,5 hrs and i really cant stay out that late so can we wrap this up and schedule an other meeting some other time” and hes like fine... got me to the bus stop, i sat on the bus.... got off at the next bus stop, met up with widowmaker main guy and went out for drinks and decided to never go on tinder dates again sdfgsdfg
48. Describe your ideal partner.
thats a hard one, hey! but i dont think i have an ideal, guess ill work with anyone whos a decent human being who wont require me to be the housemaid and cook and clean and do everything for them. oh and they totally need to know how to use a washing machine... one of my exes was incapable of this (and here i was thinking that in 2018 ppl saw a washing machine already... looks like i was wrong and im still not over that incident 2 yrs ago). oh and they gotta be fine with the idea of never having kids cuz theres no way im putting myself through raising one of those, im a man of career and money, totally not responsible enough to raise another living human being sdsdgdf
#kush speaks#ask memes#thank u for asking!!!! i had fun answering those actually#kuwentista#answered
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
wizebunny
WizeBunny
droptheguillotineplease
bonnie charlie
insane-fangirl
Insane Fangirl
lovebigsofties
Love Big Softies