it's moot time!

pair your mutuals with an idol—male or female that you think would suit them! can be lovers, friends, co-workers, etc. have fun!

i haven’t done a moot game in a while and most of my moots are inactive now so 😭 i’m doing only some <3 srry if you’re not here LMAO

— cici @iyeonjuni: definitely pairing her up with yeonjun unfortunately 😕 should i be petty and say that they’re only co workers lolzies 🤣🤣 kidding if i’m being specific i’d say that they would start out as besties and then slowly like each other but their relationship would be so casual that nobody would even know they’re together bc it seems to be the same except they kiss now 😭

— ky @yyx2: i’m gonna say haechan 😋 guys i kid you not this girl comes to me to thirst about him like everyday i can never catch a break 😕😕 i also think they’d be great f2l but they’d be so chaotic like i’m talking wrestling on the floor for no reason 🧍🏻‍♀️

— adi @wooyukh: oh i know this one 🤣🤣 i’m saying yeonjun and this is going to be very specific but they’d be enemies to lovers very much an emphasis on enemies bc *someone* here wants to get their heart broken ??

— gina @sunlightwoo: taehyun 😞 okay here me out they’d be friends and co workers at the same time but only bc i imagine them being in gina’s kpop dance club LMAO but they’d each share a part together and slowly fall in love and they’d just be so cute together <33333

— may @tyunni: i’ll get my limbs chewed off if i don’t say riki so i’m going to say riki 🤣🤣 i’m gonna be honest and say that they’d be just best friends, but really close friends!! like they do everything together and have that physical affection already and yeah they’d be really cute 😋 i see their deluluisms on twt all the time too

— dori @odxrilove: minghao!! i’ve been associating him with her recently and i think they’d be really cute together like the picture perfect relationship everyone wants 😩 i imagine really nice dinners together they’d definitely argue over who pays frfr

— nico @strawberri-uyu: mingyu 😁😁 OKAY DONT HATE ME i imagine mingyu to be nico’s assistant in some law firm help 😭 like he’d just follow nico around everyone and annoy like ALL THE TIME but they’d be kinda cute together yk like a tom and jerry situation 🥰

— smiles @boba-beom: beomgyu OFC they would be the definition of friends to lovers 🥹 like they’d meet in a very meet cute way and they slowly realize their feelings for each other and bc they’re both quite sentimental their relationship would just be 🦋🦋🦋 i also imagine gyu to be funny and protective which makes their relationship fun 🧌

— oliver @tyungun: taehyun obvi 😩 idk why but i feel like their relationship would be kinda one sided AND I MEAN one of them would have a crush on the other and the other wouldn’t realize it so they’re just 😔🎻 but then they look at each other in that way and it turns into 🥰😍 they’d be really affectionate with each other and crack a lot of jokes i feel

Among Us: Mansion Edition

Aight because I’m feeling stupid--I’m talking absolutely Willy Wonka--in this Chili’s tonight, I think it’s time I inundated you all in random crack ass Among Us Headcanons for the mansion. In no particular order: 

-Y’all see this post? This right here is Leo and MC. Don’t even @ me. He’s such a bastard and she glares at him the whole time while he just fucking dies laughing in their room. When Theo finds out? He howls with laughter too, later high fives Leo

-Dazai, Sebas, and Comte are the MOST sus players on earth. Like these mofos will handle accusations so calmly and dismantle them so quickly nobody fucking knows what they're actually doing??? The others always skip until there’s hard evidence, but because of that they will often survive by the time the tasks are done 

-Every single time Arthur has even the slightest bit of suspicion directed at him for being the imposter, everyone just immediately votes him off. Half the time he isn’t the imposter, and every single time people can hear Theo cackling from wherever he is

-One of the easiest ways to narrow down Theo as the imposter is to see how long Vincent survives HAHAHA (Vincent takes 13 yrs to do tasks)

-Since Vincent struggles with tasks a lot, Theo will often do buddy system (MC will often tag along too--but Theo will just straight up kill her when he’s imposter and tell Vincent she’s busy with another task LMFAO Vincent always scolds him after)

-Isaac hates being imposter. With every. Fiber. Of. His being. HE HATES IT!!! He vents, they see him immediately, they boot him. FML. Also gives himself away because he will usually kill Dazai and Arthur first, and stutters like a maniac trying to defend himself--has no good alibi in a pinch LMAO

-Isaac groans every single time he gets a task in the electrical room. His palms start sweating because he just knows someone is going to sneak in and snap his neck while frantically trying to connect wires. Arthur most often kills him that way just because he finds it hilarious to hear Isaac curse

-Leo, Arthur, and Shakespeare are the ones most known to sabotage while they’re imposters. Leo just loves being a headache of a person, Arthur finds it most efficient to murder in the course of the chaos (after there’s a kind of false sense of security, he picks them off), while Shakes just love watching everyone scatter desperately like mice.

-Shakespeare is 100% that imposter that like stays beside Vincent the whole time while he’s doing tasks, playing buddy system, and then the second the game is about to end just straight up murders him in cold blood out of nowhere

-Comte will almost always enact petty revenge if someone kills MC early in the game--or at all. Catch this mofo finishing his tasks lightening speed and sitting at the security monitors, slamming the emergency button the second he’s deduced who the culprit is. He’s usually the fastest to figure it out; how quickly he responds is another matter lol

-Jeanne gets caught in milliseconds because he won’t even care about the mechanics of the game, and finds sneaking boring/stupid/too much effort (also just bad with technology, it takes him forever to learn the controls). Will at least attempt to kill in isolation, but otherwise doesn’t much care about being stealthy--and so is often caught fast (always kills Comte first much to the man’s dismay)

-Mozart is...surprisingly good at the game? Not quite as skilled as the trio mentioned earlier, but he’s very good at coming up with air-tight alibis and employs a slow, methodical approach. Will have 5 or 6 of them dead before anyone suspects it’s him, kills randomized targets, and will frequent the security room while people are trying to figure out who it is. Will do buddy system with Jeanne, and will usually find the imposter to avenge his good friendo--otherwise just does tasks and chills if he ain’t imposter

-Leo just plays to have fun! He’s good at it but doesn’t really go hard enough to evade suspicion for very long if he’s imposter, mostly kills people he thinks will be most frustrated with being killed/least suspecting. People are usually yelling at him to complete his tasks bc he often zones out when he becomes a ghost LMFAO

-Leo and Comte sometimes do the buddy system, but honestly? They just devolve into murdering each other so fucking fast it’s pointless AHHAHAHAHHAHAH they’re just constantly squinting at each other; they don’t trust the other as far he can throw him (Idk if y’all have seen any of Vanoss’ streams on yt but I just keep seeing that clip of him in MedBay getting scanned and going “nogla you gonna kill me? just fucking kill me you fucking french bastard” when nogla lingers a little next to him and I start wheezing because all I see is literally Leo and Comte)

-Napoleon rarely gets imposter, so he’s usually spearheading the crewmate effort. Gets his tasks done very quickly (if he doesn’t get murdered; though he often has Isaac for buddy system) and camps outside the security room after making a few rounds. Usually figures out who it is fairly quickly--though his accuracy is spotty

-If Napoleon is imposter he tends to have a hard time killing people, so he’ll literally just pretend to do tasks and vibe until the time runs out. It’s the inactivity and aimlessness that tends to give him away

-MC tries to be stealthy, but she usually times her kills poorly or gets walked in on. Sometimes she manages to conceal the body or her boo looks the other way to let her indulge in the fun, but otherwise she gets found as imposter fast

-There are a few legendary rounds where MC manages to fool most of the house into thinking she’s a crewmate because they’re so busy pointing fingers at each other she just skates by easy, but she always feels horrible after for betraying their trust (the men all silently agree it was uproarious)

-Vincent as imposter is fucking hilarious because he’ll just turn himself in???? Like he won’t even try. Everyone will tell him it’s okay if he gets a little stabby--it’s part of the game--but he just has no heart for it. Theo will often switch devices with him to relieve him of the stress. These rounds are always so chaotic because it usually takes the residents a second to deduce the switcheroo

-You know how I said Shakespeare plays buddy and then kills Vincent in cold blood? The hilarious inversion of this is that Dazai will often try to follow Isaac to protect him but Isaac will run away, so they will often be chasing each other all over the map LMFAOOOO Dazai will do this regardless of whether he is imposter or not, so there’s really no way to tell if he’s just messing with Isaac or has a lurking killer intent

-If Theo is imposter? Pandemonium. He will kill people off one by one in isolation and vent so fast nobody can figure out who did what, always paying close attention to the tasks that need doing so he has a solid alibi. Because Vincent tends to believe him and verifies easily, it can take a little longer for people to figure out it’s Theodorus. Arthur and Dazai tend to be the ones that are the first to suspect it’s him

-Sebastian will often be doing his tasks, just chillin. One can usually see him buddy system with Napo and/or MC. He loves to watch the other men be imposter and notes down their go-to tactics and reactions to killing and being killed in the game; especially if it’s uncharacteristic of them. All well and good right? 

-Sebastian as imposter? The funniest shit in the world. He’s similar to Isaac in that he hates it, mutters apologies and grimaces every time he has to kill people (note: he does not include Arthur and Dazai among people, sometimes smiles a little if he takes them out;;;;). Will lie convincingly only because his voice/writing does not waver--his stoicism serves him well. When he has to kill Napoleon, though? Forget it. He apologizes a million times after, but honestly Napo just finds it hilarious--will just be like “well-played, Sebas, as expected of our resourceful butler.” Sebas still. Feels guilty. Like you can literally look at the chat history and see Napo as ghost like “AAHAHAHHA oh he killed my ass, nice” while MC’s like “lolol” and Jeanne like “he got me good too, never saw him coming in nav”

-Person who gets killed the least? Vincent (I mean come on, it’s Vincent.) MC is runner-up. They don’t like killing her, but there are a lot of idiots in the mansion that do it just to get a rise out of her (cough Leonardo/Dazai) or just because she’s an easy target in the moment

-Person who gets killed the most? Usually Arthur, runner-up Isaac (Arthur because everyone seeks to get back at him for his shenanigans irl, Isaac because he tends to get indecisive/nervous)

-Also this happens to Dazai once as imposter (Isaac plans it out of sheer spite) and the entire mansion was wheezing about it for weeks

In-game Colors: 

Comte: yellow/white/black (when he’s feeling emo) + little baby accompaniment or party hat  Napoleon: black or green, cyan when he’s feeling chaotic + sergeant/army hat Leonardo: brown + toilet paper roll Vincent: yellow + green sprout Theo: dark blue or red (feral energy) + cowboy hat or gladiator helmet Isaac: pink + cherry Arthur: dark blue or lime + backwards cap Dazai: purple or yellow + toilet plunger or bird’s nest Jeanne: always purple + “DUM” sticky note Mozart: cyan + surgical mask Shakes: red or orange + flamingo hat Sebas: always black + either the ninja mask or the chef hat

I appreciate your commentary on how hypersexual things have been - I'm not a huge fan of my dash lately, but I'm also friends with a lot of the people who post that kind of content so I don't feel comfortable unfollowing. I've been wondering if I should just make a separate blog but I'm so attached to mine lol I've had it for years, with all my edits. It's just disappointing bc there's this weird double standard - and several of my favorite blogs aren't active anymore bc they get bullied out. Frustrating to say the least

If you're friends with them, it might be worth it to try talking to them and expressing your feelings about it and how it's making you uncomfortable. Because when so many larger blogs thirst over Louis to the point where it's over the top and weird while also entertaining a double standard for Harry, others follow suit, and when nobody talks about it, it does help make it the norm in this fandom.

As much as people try to deny it, our corner of the Tumblr fandom has always had a lot of copycat behavior. A small number of blogs set the standard of what is acceptable (in this case, sexualize the hell out of every picture of Louis and NEVER allow anyone to mention that Harry is an attractive dude), they often target people who don't view things the same way or agree with their behavior, and then other smaller blogs follow suit. Having been here since 2012, I've seen this happen so many times with different ideas and it is a huge part of the reason why 1) certain behaviors are considered acceptable and certain behaviors aren't, even when it makes no sense, and 2) so many inaccurate stereotypes about Louis and Harry and fake ""receipts"" are believed to this day. And it's funny because in many cases, the people who push these ideas or behaviors eventually leave the fandom and become antis or solo Harries or whatever else, yet their ideas live on through the people who remain.

Like you, I've also seen so many blogs become inactive or be deleted entirely because people get fed up with what they're seeing when it's super widespread or they get targeted for disagreeing. And that sucks! It's also why I still stick around here even though I know that most of the fandom hates me. I'm not going to be driven off a platform that I enjoy just because of people I disagree with, regardless of how loud those people may be.

If you are friendly with some of the people doing this stuff and you think talking to them might help - maybe they're just doing it because everybody else is, or maybe they aren't but they're still willing to listen to what you have to say - that might help to cleanse your dash a little bit. And if not, you can definitely make a new blog if you think that will help, but I'm a huge advocate of keeping your dashboard a happy space for you. If you're logging on and feeling weirded out by the stuff you're seeing from your mutuals, they might not be the right mutuals - or friends - for you. And if you're particularly close to somebody but don't like what you're seeing from them, maybe just let them know that you feel a bit uncomfortable about some stuff you're seeing and you're doing a bit of a dashboard cleanse, but that you still want to be friends with them.

You should never feel like you have to leave your blog with all your edits behind, so make whatever choice you need to make so that fandom is fun for you. After all, that's supposed to be the point. ❤️

I’m curious about how you were introduced to trans exclusionary ideology, and when you realized how toxic it truly is. I’m genuinely curious.

Hello! Sorry for the hiatus.So this is my story & long rant post.I've been among TERFs/Radfems (AKA the Conservative side of "feminism") since 2015. In mid-2016 — with the dangers of having Trump as President — I started getting critical of everything going on in the community, deleted older posts, & stopped reblogging "trans-critical" stuff. In 2017 — after seeing TERFs celebrating that the 'Everyday Feminism' site was facing a financial crisis & after paying more attention at what our "enemies" were trying to say — I unfollowed all the bullies, & eventually started to despise seeing "trans-critical" stuff. Their hatred towards the "big scary Libfems" is what made me rethink my priorities.

Many parts of their ideology had peculiarly attracted my attention back in 2015. As a GNC person who celebrates gender nonconformity, their gender abolition theories seemed very interesting (& I later found out how bigoted they are towards GNC men & GNC people with different identities/pronouns). When I was a sex-repulsed person, their porn-critical & sex-negative theories also seemed very interesting to me (I later found out how bigoted they are towards sex-repulsed people — upholding heteronormativity & saying things like "Haha, nobody loves you", "If you're a man/bisexual/lesbian, you must perform oral sex on your gf"; but still, I'm NO longer in the sex-negative/SWERF community). People sending them death threats was also one of the reasons why I had joined their movement.

It always begins like this. Step 1: you begin exploring anti-kink/anti-porn stuff; Step 2: you begin exploring anti-"MOGAI" stuff; Final step: you turn into a transphobe. That's how I got into this mess.

Second-wave theories originally had a critical focus on the social construction of gender & sexuality, monogamy, submission/masochism, natalism, the family structure, the fear of nonconformity, emotional/economic dependency, religion, & violence.As a feminist, yeah, I still agree with most of these analyses. I love reading academic books. But there was something different about terf/radfem tumblr. & this is all I've noticed over the years.

TERFs treat their word like holy truth.

TERFs use Right-wing "sources" to back up their transphobic & sex-negative arguments (& often associate themselves with conservative groups).

TERFs claim that all men are "biologically/physically the same".

TERFs contradict themselves all the time: claim that sex-repulsed AroAces are "usual straights", mock people who just want to remain single, & at the same time still say that if you don't want to have sex with men, then "you're a lesbian"; they say that people don't owe you sex, & at the same time say it's "not okay" for men to sexually reject a woman for "bad reasons".

TERFs claim that lesbians who are anti-TERF or who don't believe in the "born-this-way" theory are "fake lesbians".

TERFs are against the idea of removing your secondary sexual characteristics; & if an AMAB person doesn't like their "secondary sexual characteristics", then they must be a "delusional fetishist" (srsly I identify as a woman, but I still wish I could remove my uterus & have a breast reduction surgery; & it's not for sexist reasons! Shocking, I know!).

TERFs claim that men can't be raped/abused by women (not all TERFs believe this, but I still see them quietly following the ones who do).

TERFs have definitely never read a book with a different perspective/purpose, yet they will act like total experts on any subject (TERFs act like they're experts on Postmodernism & Queer Theory, but they have no idea what these theories are actually about. These theories are both very complex & don't have only one definition! Shocking, I know!).

TERFs will assume you're a trans woman if you don't disclose you're actually AFAB (& they could still have doubts).

TERFs are very manipulative & use brainwashing tactics. If you're AFAB & anti-TERF, they will say it's because of your "internalized misogyny" & will try to guilt-trip you. Because how dare someone has a different opinion! If you're AFAB & proudly calls yourself 'genderfluid' or 'non-binary', TERFs will get offended.

TERFs claim that asexuality only exists "because of the prevalence of porn" (Aces & sex-repulsed people would still be here even if porn didn't exist! Shocking, I know!).

TERFs claim that men who call themselves 'feminist' are "all predators".

TERFs would rather include transphobic men in their spaces than "those evil libfems" (those women are enemies).

TERFs claim that radical feminism is the "only true feminism", & that all second-wave feminists were "radfems".

TERFs claim that GNC men are "fetishizing" femininity (but according to TERF logic, masculine men are not fetishizing masculinity).

TERFs are extremely bigoted towards sex workers, polyamorous people, people who don't want commitment, people who are sexually experimenting or who are promiscuous (which is also one of the reasons why I left the sex-negative community; their views on sex/lust/love are similar to the Christian conservative perspective).

I can definitely assure you I still very well remember most of their URLs & blog content. There are many TERFs who hide behind aesthetic blogs, & use subtle TERF language & comforting rhetoric — which you might not even notice if you don't know much about their specific type of language & tactics (e.g. complaining about the "neoliberal postmodern identities" & about people "erasing females"). This type of TERF also may follow a bunch of (trans-inclusive) anti-'MOGAI' & anti-kink blogs. If you're trans-inclusive & TERFs follow you, it's likely because your blog content doesn't make them uncomfortable.

Their blatant transphobia is absurd & paranoiac, & they don't hide it. Anyone who disagrees with them gets called a "handmaiden", "lesbophobe", "male", "genderist", "liberal", "libfem", "special snowflake" (I no longer consider myself a radical leftist, but I don't consider myself a centrist either). TERFs call trans women as a group "fetishists", "delusional", "mentally ill", "sociopaths", "narcissists", "pedophiles", "necrophiles", "incels", "genderfucks" + slurs like "tr*nny", "troon", "tr0n", "transes". They say that the trans movement is "coercing children to transition" & "forcing lesbians to have sex with penis". It's pure fear-mongering. Their views on trans men are also contradictory — there are times they claim that trans men are "straight girls who are trans just bc they read fanfiction & watch gay porn", & there are times they claim that trans men are "brainwashed butch lesbians" (Pick a side!).

I live in a very religious Latin American country. The majority of the population here is not educated on gender/sexuality issues. I got the chance of educating myself better only after I've learned English. And then some terfs had the gall to say "academic fields such as Gender & LGBT Studies & philosophy are oppressive & pretentious". In a country like mine with a dark history of military dictatorships, censorship & anti-intellectualism, being leftist means protecting the social sciences in education & freedom of the press.

So yes, I left the terf community bc unlike them, I think for myself & I hate bullying (i was in fact heavily bullied for years in school, & only bullying victims know how it truly feels like). My terf blog is now inactive; I had 1000+ followers. I'm a very quiet person irl & online; I was never vocal about my real opinions bc I don't like getting into heated discussions & I didn't want to be featured on that gross radfem-gossip blog.I was very transphobic back then. & now it's quite possible terfs will say to me "You were never one of us". I followed & liked their blogs, just like they followed mine. I was loyal & obedient. Now not anymore.

Got tagged by @the-carmevore !

rules: answer 20 questions and tag 20 blogs that you would like to get to know better!

nicknames: Ellie (my family and old friends from before I moved call me this but I’d prefer nobody else do lol), ells (ol and vik ❤️) .....idk I’m nickname-poor

gender: nonbinary

star sign: Leo

height: I’ve thought I was 5’2 for ages but people have been debating me on that so I should probably check lol...

time: 6:30 pm

birthday: August 12!!

favorite bands: florence + the machine, alt-j, glass animals, imagine dragons, white hinterland

favorite solo artists: hozier, sea oleena, susanne sundfør, Cosmo sheldrake, Mikki Ekko

song stuck in my head: I’m listening to Pure Feeling by florence because I just rediscovered it bc my phone deleted it when it broke and I forgot it existed?????

last movie: i think it was hidden figures!! SO good...

last tv show watched: the good place HOOHA ...just finished it last night... UNREAL

when did i create my blog: idrk, I think... four years ago?

what do i post: on my main I post memes and cool art... and whatever I like that doesn’t fit into my sideblogs! TAZ also...

last thing i googled: i looked up interviews w the good place cast last night haha

do i have other blogs: yep!! @idyllon is for my sunlight, warm oceans, honey-type aesthetic, and @crowhound is my dark, godly, weird masks and teeth-type aesthetic. @littledeadling is my art blog, and @amorbidfascination is a largely inactive old weird vent blog I made when I was an edgy depressed 14 year old . @deathplaces is a very inactive blog mostly for my own personal collection of places I’d like to go as a ghost after I die, before I leave here. @borzoidalwizardsclub is a dumb thing about wizard borzois that I kinda abandoned haha

do i get asks: i have been getting some lately and it’s THE BEST💕💕💕

why did i choose my url: it’s something Jason Yeldham calls Cat in The Pinhoe Egg, which is my soul as a physical rectangle

following blogs: 560

followers: 537

favorite colors: I rly like soft yellowy olive green! I think pastel cool colours r my favourite too, and my fav colours to wear are burgundy, olive, and mustard, and ~dusty rose~ which is so pretentious but that’s what it’s called

average hours of sleep: oh idk.... 8 on weekends and more like 9 or 10 on weekdays (cuz I don’t work til later)...... a fella likes their sleep . Shh.

lucky number (s): ent got those!

instruments: i USED to play piano (quit years ago cuz I hated practicing hhh) but mostly trumpet!! I miss it :’C I was lead in jazz band for 5 or 6 years

what am i wearing: I changed into sweatpants and a sweater when I got home cuz I’m cold

how many blankets do i sleep with: Lots, Pal

dream job: early retiree who gets to do nothing but write novels and poetry and draw and basically just.. Create everything I want to Create

dream trip: mm. I’d like to visit Amsterdam some day! And see London and Paris! But I don’t want to go alone, either with my dad and sister or with my friends!

favorite food: i don’t think I have one I literally have never had a clue what to say when people ask me this......

nationality: Canadian!

favorite song right now: mm I don’t have one I’m in love with right now.... recently I discovered Teardrop by Aurora and that was my most recent fav song (tho that lasted like a day and a half so). My fav song of all time is Rabbit Heart by florence (WITH the music video, as an important aspect to my love for it)

Thank you!!! ☺️ I tag @crowempress and @invisincere (if u wanna! I’m sure not tagging 20 whole people wow)

Episode 1.1 - This Game is Rigged Against People Who Can’t Read - Vi

The two tribes, Awashima and Hiroku were pitted against each other in a game of Hostile Harai. After a relatively close battle, Hiroku pulled ahead and won a 10% challenge multiplier in the next immunity challenge.

At the immunity challenge, the tribes battle each other in a game of Semantris that led to victory for Hiroku, beating the other tribe even without the score multiplier needed.

At Hiroku, the winning tribe, they celebrated their win and continued to form relationships, though no alliances had yet formed. Emma ventured into the expeditions and found the Awashima hidden immunity idol and was given the option between leaving the idol in place or gifting it to a member of Awashima. Emma opted to gift the idol to Adam with the note: “Can’t wait for merge! (heart) PH.”

At Awashima, bonds began to form and take control of the vote. Katie, Rachael, Rodrigo and Josh in particular began to formulate a plan to vote out Lauren for being the most inactive member of the tribe. Lauren had other plans, wanting to target Adam for similar reasons. After some discussion of idols with Rodrigo, Katie and Rachael opted to vote for Adam as well. At tribal council, Lauren was voted out 7-3 against Adam, who kept his immunity idol in his pocket.

PART 1

“im either first boot or i win no in between”

“Omfg VI IS PLAYING I LOVE HER SO MUCH THE LOML. Also nikias has such a cool energy”

“All of my chats so far are with the men, I think I’m too intimidated by the pretty girls??”

“Fuuuuuck Katie is playing?!?!?! 😭😭😭😭 SHES TOO GOOD SHE GOTTA GO”

“Minding my own business and praying these people never witnessed Svalbard🙃”

“When you rejected Katie for prom and she comes for you in your DMs”

“Katie is gr8. Josh is gr8. Really just vibing tbh”

“I'm so glad that on my tribe I already have previous good relationships with Regan, Katie, and Vi. Marc is pretty great too. I feel good so far woooo. also prayer circle for Olivia I hope I get to see her in a tribe swap or something”

After receiving a bonus in the immunity challenge: “guys look at me win!”

“im going to see if i can trick jay into thinking i want to work with him till f2”

“whyyyy am I so awkward hahahahaha ha ah ha abaaghhhhhhhhh”

“this game is rigged against people who can’t read. Someone save me”

Olivia goes on an expedition to Mt. Ishizuchi, where she must climb 100 steps to reach the top. After 15 minutes she completes the task that reveals no reward with this to say:

“Are you fuckin kidding me 🤬 Wtf guys 😐😑”

“I legit message every single person on this tribe and i tried to communicate with them, however nobody messaged me first which makes me low key a little paranoid. Is it the fact that i am too excited to get to know every one? or could it be that some people feeling comfortable alliance? we shall see, at thee moment i don't really believe there is one or if it is there would be of players that have play together before, but i haven't notice any one who would know someone else in my tribe. At the moment, i have 0 game talks i am trying to talk to people but i don't wanna approach people and make them feel that i am playing too hard too fast so i just wanna get to the first steps of getting to know them and then build of an alliance. I feel like the people that i would like to bring in a potential alliance at the moment would be Olivia, Abby, Zach (so hot btw) and there are people that i wanna work with based on interviews ( Cori and Ally) but they haven't give me anything yet too to make them feel that i could work with them, idk i don't really enjoy being the only one who is asking questions and try to lead a convo and that's why at the moment i haven't be able to see if i could potential work with them. My biggest concern mark is Constance, i enjoy talking with him and he seems like a gamer and i would like to work with a gamer but there is something in me that feels that he could make a move later on very unexpectenly”

“Ok so I’m doing well with aly, nikias, em, and corinda. Abrielle too but I’m more wary of her bc of her Svalbard connections. Hopefully I can make a ladies alliance happen within the next couple of days naturally. Odd and Sam aren’t giving me anything and Constance is a wildcard bc I know his history”

“Also I forgot to say I also know jay from the other tribe I hosted an org that he won : o. Him and Vi were close so I imagine they’ll be paired up by now. So that either gives me an opportunity to join them as a third wheel or it could take away vi as my potential closest ally. Vi played my first ever org with me :’)”

Abrielle went to Mt. Tsurumi in Kyushu where she received the voting coin for boiling water 

Olivia goes on another expedition to the Kojima Shrine. She luckily went during low tide, and was able to claim the Protective Crystal which blocks the next vote cast against her. “Oh fuck yeah”

“forgot about the great soybean massacre of 1586″

“So far I feel as though I’ve made some decent connections on this tribe even if they are minimal. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know so many fresh faces but depending on how we do in this challenge, connections unfortunately can not overlook performance as a tribe unless you work it to a certain degree. I do hope that several of my tribe members can help us pull the win for this challenge because I am not doing so hot!”

“The only concerns I have on my tribe are Em and Olivia because they know me from Tumblr and didn’t really like me all that much but I won’t say anything and just let life work it’s course. If I don’t delve into the past and let it linger it’ll only fall into their blame if they use that as their leverage if they target me later down the line. My main goal is to ultimately create friendships in this game and even if they decide to speak with me (Em hasn’t) that’s all that truly matters to me. Because ultimately, I don’t dislike anyone regardless of what anyone says. 💘”

“Honestly having immunity is really important, we get a taste of the twist be with zero affection towards us and it could allow us to be more prepare in the a future tribal council. Also you need time in this game and especially at the beginning, i am hoping for the win at the moment.”

“Here u can start seeing Rodrigo in his natural habitat: Forming relationships, talking to people. This is what Rodrigos gameplay is about. He creates relationships strong enough quickly to be able to slip by. Now Rodrigo plans, this season, to take his game one step further and actually transition from a social game only to a strategic game too. Is it too early to rock the boat? We shall see next time in... MYTHOLOGICAL SURVIVOR NO MIKOTO!!! also I find it really funny that I already told like what 5 people I have their back: Josh, Rach, Vi, Katie, Marc. tobe honest this 5 are kind of an ideal 5 for me to align with but with Marc wanting to bring Jay and Reegan idk tbh but the way things are looking it may come down to Adam or Lauren but tribal is only on Monday so theres a lot to play out. Well something else I do feel kinda bad throwing Adam udner the bus to Katie and it really has nothing to do with our past history its just how the convo developed that led to me saying tha”

After being exiled Rodrigo sent this: 

“I don't like who i'm with. I want to be carried but with almost all new people to me, I gotta try”

Olivia goes on an expedition to the Sado light house, rewarding her with a 3 hour exile from her tribe. Her tribe is not notified of why she was removed from the chat, prompting speculation about what happened. 

“captain’s log #49. Fred the squirrel has crafted a boat and left the lighthouse sooner than I. I feel defeat creeping over me. I’ve been here for 10 minutes and I’ve tried every which way to let my tribe know I didn’t desert them, IM NOT A TRAITOR. I even changed my pfp in the hopes someone would catch on. Guess we shall see. IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE”

“Catch me taking down notes on who sweetly tried to contact me. That’s who imma vibe with in this game. Constance, nikias, corinda, Abby :]”

Emma took an expedition to Honshu where she completed a challenge to find the Awashima hidden immunity idol. 

Chose to gift the idol to Adam with the note: “Can’t wait for merge (heart)! PH.”

“I JUST REALIZE I CANT BRING OLIVIA INTO MY CHAT AS A GUEST. Life sucks”

After being given the idol by Emma, his only response was: 

 “PH hmm”

“also heres a thought. I'd LOVE to get rid of like Reegan next if we go to tribal but the thing is the following: with us voting Lauren this vote I kinda need to play it up for the public. I dont want people thinking I am a meninist. Because I am not. so if Lauren does go this round. I think a MAN will need to suffer the consequences. Its what they deserve to be honest. Peace.”

“Going great! I got a little advantage and we’re immune. I think im making good connections? I’m trying not to be too much like I usually am like I’m holding back”

Olivia went on another expedition to Lake Kamo on Sado where she broke a fishermans oyster trap, resulting in her being exiled from her tribe until she had collected four buckets of oysters. 

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. IM GONNA KERMIT WHAT THE FUCK. I’m literally crying whyyyy. expeditions are the worst fucking thing I’m gonna Kermit IM GONNA KERMIT. CAPTAINS LOG #926 I AM ONCE AGAIN EXILED AND SOBBING AS I HAVE TO FUCKING COUNT OYSTERS WHAT IS THIS CRUEL WORLD WHAT THE FUCK WHY ME”

After almost 40 minutes, Olivia completed the task and was allowed back to her tribe. 

“I don’t even get a reward for all that 😭 I’m just sad now”

“I have really been trying to up my social game more than any other game I have been involved in. It may seem like a little too much, but at the same time, I really want to emphasize what I said I would do and that is make genuine friendships with people and do what I can in order to move myself forward in this game. Even if it may cost me my opportunity to win, I at least know that I went out of this game knowing I created a connection with each and every person in someway. 

With that said, I think that the idol searching mechanic shows how hard someone is trying to find something because it ultimately catches everyone’s attention if you get something negative like being exiled from your tribe or whatnot.

I’m not quite sure what this game has in store for me and I don’t expect to accomplish much when it comes to challenges so I hope to bring my socially adaptable techniques into my strategy for the long haul.”

A response to everyone out there who watched TLJ once, and was immediately tapping out an “OMG Poe is the WORST” tweet on their phones before even making it halfway out of the theater:

I was so actually legitimately saddened and upset by the response I saw to his character that I hauled myself out of my customary internet inactivity and wrote this grammatically incorrect equivalent of an angry pterodactyl screech.

No, no, no no no no no. Poe is actually one of the greatest characters and that’s a fact.

Taking out the Dreadnaught was actually one of the best things he’s ever done. Okay, yeah, they lost some fighters. But YOU KINDA HAVE TO DO THAT. Sure, Leia’s sad because these were her soldiers and she sees them as people not just numbers on a chart, which characterizes her and is great, but SHE IS THE GENERAL OF A RESISTANCE NOT A SAD GRANDMA. SHE KNOWS THAT YOU HAVE TO SACRIFICE TO WIN WARS, which is why she doesn’t toss Poe out of an airlock (which is what I saw one such aforementioned genius suggest). If you’re so upset about this, go watch the original movies and get butthurt about how many pilots Luke lost in one of his several gory battles. I mean, Luke is the worst leader ever - his squadron is constantly burning up left and right and nobody called HIM a terrible person. I mean, he was one of the only people to make it out of that Death Star run and that ended in hugs and champagne. Poe got a decent amount of people back from taking out a DREADNAUGHT, and he’s welcomed back with a slap and a demotion. (Okay, I get that that was mostly because of his insubordination issues but still, I’m trying to make a point here.)

Now I’m going to address the biggest issue I’ve seen people fighting about regarding Poe. His so called “toxic masculinity” in regard to Admiral Holdo. Now, I’m not denying that toxic masculinity is a real thing that is often subtly promoted on the big screen, that needs to stop ASAP. But Poe is not an example of it. The first time I watched TLJ, I spent a majority of the time convinced that Holdo was the literal worst and laughed along every time she showed up on screen and my friend leaned over and stage-whispered “Laura Dern with purple hair” into my ear. We as an audience were SUPPOSED to spend the first half of the movie disliking Holdo. If you didn’t, well… I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe you read spoilers online, or maybe you’re just prophetic. But for the rest of us average movie-goers, we were set up to see Holdo as the enemy. Why? So we could sympathize with Poe. I would have started a mutiny too if I was him! And I am most definitely Not A Man. She came out of literally nowhere (she wasn’t in TFA and she wasn’t even at their freaking Leia-is-in-a-coma-what-do-we-do meeting, she just casually popped around the corner like WHEEE HERE I AM EVERYBODY, LAURA DERN WITH PURPLE HAIR, DO WHATEVER I SAY NO QUESTIONS ASKED). Poe, sweet misguided soul that he is, had a very natural response in thinking “this shady weirdo is leading us to our deaths, taking zero action, so if she’s not going to do something I will.” He would have done that whether she was a man or a woman, she just so happened to be Laura Dern with purple hair. Now, I will admit that he went about it in an occasionally unnecessarily aggressive way. But having a temper is his Character Flaw™. Every character has one. Han is selfish and untrustworthy, Luke is whiny and naive, Leia is haughty and stubborn. Poe is hot-headed and impatient. Flaws are what endear us to characters, it’s what humanizes them. Now, if a guy is entitled and lashes out at women specifically, for no real reason whatsoever, THAT is toxic masculinity. When one character who happens to be a woman is being shady and unreasonable and Poe’s response is to impatiently forge ahead and take matters into his own hands, that is called HIS CHARACTER AND THAT IS NOT A PROBLEM.

Perhaps the most important point of all, HE LEARNED FROM HIS FREAKING MISTAKES, OKAY. He should have listened to Leia more and completely thought through the consequences of his actions before taking such drastic measures (although they were working with literally eighteen hours of fuel so SNAP JUDGMENTS WERE KIND OF NECESSARY, but that’s another rant). But by the end of the movie, he learned those lessons and is ready to move forward into the next chapter a better and more patient leader. THAT IS CALLED A CHARACTER ARC AND CHARACTER GROWTH. Just like how in the original trilogy, Han started off as an unsavory antihero, and progressed into a Rebel With a Heart. A lot of what Han does in the first movie is questionable and could be considered toxic (looking at you, Han Shot First crew). But he GROWS, and now he’s one of the universally most-liked characters in cinema. Poe follows a similar arc, but instead for some freaking reason this is being treated like a witch hunt for something about TLJ to lash out at. If you want a TLJ character to lash out at, lash out at Luke. His arc was CHARACTER ASSASSINATION on the part of Rian Johnson. YEAH, I WENT THERE. But noooo, precious Luke Skywalker is sacred and we must hold him above any scrutiny. Let’s pick apart the new characters until everything good about them is dead in the face of a few minor character flaws.

Wow. I was really upset about that. Sorry for the rant, but someone needed to say it, and it might as well have been me.

P.S. I obviously can’t be the only person who feels this way bc peep the results of a Buzzfeed survey that took place at the end of a post titled “Sorry, But Poe Dameron is Actually Worse Than Jar Jar Binks”

Same, reasonable people of Earth. Same.

Announcement

To start this off, I’m not deleting my account. Just deleting the app from my phone so I can’t use this anymore.

I never wanted it to come to this, but I feel this is best with my mental health and everything.

Basically, I’m deactivating.

Of course you want a reason why. Well, you’ve probably noticed I’ve been hella inactive recently. That’s was mostly because I was going through a lot of mental health stuff that I couldn’t speak publicly about. Now I’m at the point in my life where I can be open with you guys.

Basically, I’m living with PTSD. I was sexually assaulted on July 28, 2016 by someone who i was very close with, was emotionally abused by, and spent a large amount of time together with on tumblr. I was fine for a while after, but once everything really set in updating this blog became really hard. I’ve since discovered this is one of my triggers with my PTSD. So, whenever I’d be on here, I’d be having constant flashbacks to our relationship and the hell I went through with him. That’s not an ideal situation when you’re trying to heal yourself.

I’m also deactivating because this blog is just hella hard to keep up with. I’m a junior in high school, and the last thing I need is to have to keep track of a blog nobody pays attention to.

Lastly, I’m deactivating because I’m busy with my health. I was diagnosed back in like January with Gastroparesis (it’s a stomach condition involving paralyzed stomach muscles which results in severe nausea almost constantly), and dealing with the nausea has taken over my life. The time I should be utilizing towards updating this account I’m being forced to spend in the bathroom trying not to puke my guts out.

I hope you guys will understand, and I bid you farewell. I leave you with this:

If you’re a fellow sexual assault survivor, you’re not alone. There will always be people that share your story and will be there to support you. You will never be alone in life. Don’t worry.

Also I’m hella gay.

Anyways, love you guys, and I promise this won’t be the last time you see me. If you follow me on my other social medias (they’re in my bio), I’ll be posting there more often.

(Also, I’m not deleting my posts bc I still want this to be up for when specific people stalk my account and so my original stuff is always up)

-Madelyn (@thanxs-pete)

😘😘❤️❤️

Episode 2: “In all seriousness, I think I’m just stupid.” - Mo

Oop, so Madeline went bye bye without hitch. And Mitch lol sort of popped off a bit which turned out rub some people the wrong way.

Well as long as it doesn’t endanger me, it’s ok. Except for the fact that Michael brought up my name to Julia as a potential target just because we haven’t had good talks.

Honestly tho, talking to Michael is hard because he’s like a robot or whatever. He really is a big blue robot or whatever.

Right now, I think I’m in a good spot to not be that worried on Michael. I’ve got an alliance with Jason and Julia. Though we haven’t solidified a duo or whatever, Jared and I are working together as well probably. I’m getting closer with Ali and Benji and I have had talks of watching each other’s back.

So far the potential targets if we lose are Mitch and Noah. I have talks with Mitch and I think he’s sort of a lose cannon but right now he trusts me I think so yeah. People are leaning towards Noah because he talks the least with people.

But I do hope we win immunity, UgH!! I blame Drew for not putting me on a dominating tribe grrrr where’s the monte Rosa winning streak power when you need it.

AHHHHHH BEEEP BOOOP BEEEP BOOP. This twist sucks. There is a power dynamic that is going on.  Julia, Ben , Ali , and I are in an alliance. Seperataly though. I don't think they are aware of how much strategy I talk with Julia (which is how we want it). It seems Ian Jason are the biggest threats since they are liked and have numbers. BUT I CANT TAKE THEM OUT BECAUSE OF THE TWIST AHDHEUEJIDKD. So it seems Mitch is the target but I can't let Ian and Jason stay too long otherwise I am fucked. It's only a matter of time before they realize what I'm doing and I become a target (maybe even next tribal). BEEEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP

So last tribal went super smooth. Madeleine bye girl, but you were a ticking time bomb and you needed to go. And you also threw MY precious name out to Jared. In my first confessional I said I didn't want you here, and I got what I wanted. Now we are on this round. A puzzle challenge for immunity? Seriously? This has me FUCKED up boo. But I don't know weather to worry or not about tribal council. Last round, after I stirred the pot a bunch for the Madeleine vote she had an elaborate plan to get Mitch out that I myself pressured her into doing. I let Mitch know about her plan and at tribal shit got interesting. He blew the fuck up on the girl. And this was beautiful. It put a target on his back. So I might just be in the clear. His name will definitely be brought up just for that. This tribe doesn't like crazy explosive people (lol me in crossroads). But I also have gotten so far on this idol board, I might have the chance to snatch that bitch up. Lets pray everything goes well for me!!!

I realize in hindsight that im coming off as really mean in my confessional, but it was just like,,, in the moment? Yk??? A more concise version - usually when people like JJ fly high and take control early on, people get mad and they crash and burn really quick. So as much as it might break my heart, I might have to let that happen.

Forgot to mention thoughts on relationship statuses atm: Jules says she trusts me Alex says he trusts me Mo says he trusts me JJ says he trusts me Tom is iffy but I feel like we have a stronger relationship? Especially if he’s closer with JJ (which I personally believe he is) he’ll feed him info that’ll go back to me I have a good relationship with evan for the most part ? We talk on and off but we’re both just busy lol Caeleb my grandson/angel and I have a great relationship - we talk about Pokémon a lot Willow and I are iffy but like a fun iffy And David is the most innactive, but we bond over not talking on calls sometimes

So first things first thank GOD we won immunity I was not getting good vibes from people so I think I would been gone. Anyhoot, I definetly feel like there is an alliance already formed between Tom and JJ for sure and then possibly Jones Jules and lets throw in Alex, Those 5 seemed to be so comfortable and non scrambly this past tribal that im SUS. Going into this challenge wowie a math puzzle, not good for me and it showed! I definitely think we are losing now so I really have to push the vote for like Evan maybe because a bitch wants to stay and he's probably more inactive than I. Listen guys I really want to be on more but as Rihanna said I just gotta Work Work Work Work Work Work so that's that on that. I just hope they let this bitch stay!

Okay so let's get INTO this:

I know that my biggest weakness is the fact that I don't do a great job at times of talking to people. Ever since Day 1 though I've been making a solid effort to speak to every single person on my tribe two or three times every day.

So let's start with the first reward challenge. I tried really hard because I wanted to make a good first impression challenge wise. I feel like if you put in a solid performance in the first challenge, your tribe will be more understanding if you struggle in a future challenge.

As soon as I saw the flag part of the first immunity challenge, I knew that we were going to probably lose it no matter what, and there was strategy behind me wanting to take it on. Everyone on my tribe was already hyping up the fact that the other tribe had that part in the bag, so I knew that if I put in a solid effort and lost, it would be seen as "He stepped up for us and tried hard even though he had no shot" rather than "he fucked it up for us". I had to step on Madeleine's toes and kind of be rude to make sure that I got to do the flag, but that didn't really concern me since nobody seemed to like her anyway?

Now when it came to the first vote of the season, pretty much the whole damn tribe told me they wanted to do Madeleine. I think the fact that she really didn't talk to anyone until she NEEDED to is what played a major part in her elimination. Honestly, I didn't really like her at all LMAO, so I didn't mind seeing her go home.

The fact that Madeleine was already basically screwed and confirmed to go home was great bc it gave me the opportunity to take advantage of that situation for myself and build up my trust/credibility with other people. Madeleine came to me just a couple of hours before the voting deadline with her plan to get a group of people to vote against Mitch and send him home. I basically just was like "yasss I agree that's a great plan sis omg you're MIND". I asked for a list of who her 'numbers' were before agreeing to vote with her, and of course with her being desperate, she had no choice but to comply. Sis sent me a whole ass list of her alleged allies, and I was gagged becuase literally all of them had been shit talking her and saying that they were voting her out ALL DAY.

I took that information to Mitch and let him know about her plan, which gained me some brownie points and trust building with him. And then I went to the people she listed and was sort of like "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that she's going around telling people who she thinks you're voting for". Overall, I think that Madeleine's messiness really benefited me and my connections with the tribe.

Following Madi's elimination, if I had to rank my tribemates in terms of who I trust most to least, it would work out like this:

1) Julia 2) Ali 3) Mitch 4) Jason 5) Ben 6) Jared 7) Ian 8) Michael

Julia, Ali, Mitch & Jason interact with me the most. They always respond when I message them to start a conversation, and they aren't shy about hitting me up and initiating conversations. Ben, Jared & Ian won't really initiate conversations with me, but if I message them first they'll always message me back pretty quickly and engage with me. With Madeleine gone, Michel is now the most difficult for me to socialize with. Our conversations tend to die quickly if I don't put in maximum effort, which is kind of annoying, but I'll keep trying because I relaly don't want to end up like Madi and have everyone vote me out because I didn't try with them.

I'm kind of nervous at the moment with this vote just bc nobody is really giving me names yet? I'm hoping that the reason why is that they are waiting for tomorrow morning and just don't want to throw out names too early. I feel a bit like Sandra in the sense that as long as it's not me, I don't care. I'm not sacrificing my game for ANY of these people. That's what I love about these TS orgs; these people aren't my friends and I don't feel bad at all about sending any of them home LOL.

I'm really hoping to form a more formal alliance soon, but I want to be VERY cautious. I'd rather keep it small with just a few people that I trust not to go throwing me under the bus and leaking shit. An ideal situation would be me, Julia, Ali & Mitch as a strong foursome, but I need to talk to them separately as individuals first and try to figure out if any of them are already in group chats/alliances before I try to pull them into a commitment. The last thing I want is to try to form an alliance with people that are already set in other groups.

Anyway, I'm just going to try to continue being super social and hope that it plays out in my favor. BTW this twist is evil and I despite it, but I'm just going to have to work with it and adapt.

tom was really drunk and messaged me all these nice things so i really want to make him my ally now even though he's messy!!!

Well, today we probably lost the competition. Considering I was 4x faster than my maze partner. Willow doesn't know how to do math. David probably hasn't done his competition.

But in the same light, Evan and I did really well in our competitions. So, who knows? I might actually like to lose a competition. It would be interesting to see if people's heads are actually where they say they are.

I’m so upset, I always get fucking challenges in games that I CAN’T do I don’t know how to do it. Then we talk about our scores and Evan was like oh I did it in a minute but I could of done it quicker if I had a mouse and I’m just like I SCORED 16 MINUTES AND IM FINE BECAUSE I DIDN'T SCORE OVER TWENTY MINUTES.

In all seriousness I think I’m just stupid. Like when I was doing the challenge I was confident. I always go in with a “I’m gonna do great!” attitude and then I hear about how well the others did and it’s like getting hit by a car.

I'd also like to give an update on how I feel about everybody in this game.

Alex seems like he's the person I'd like to work with most, but he also seems the most hesitant to commit to any kind of long term alliance. Jules & Jones are really difficult to tell apart, but they're both lovely people. They seem to be super open to working together, and they both compliment me out the butt hole. Tom is really sweet. He seems to be very easily woo'd by attention and compliments, which shouldn't be too difficult. He's like. Super cute and very fun to talk to. Mo is cool, we share a lot of the same sense of humor, lots of the same references. Its also super comforting that he's also on the same timezone as I am. Evan seems really cool. I feel awful about never responding to his messages on time, which could really hurt my game. Caeleb is so fuckin cute. Like he's just a wholesome lil bean, I don't know how he's going to survive in such a cutthroat game like survivor. Maybe that's his strategy, have everyone underestimate him. Maybe he's scary and spooky. ^ Y'all really got me out here talking like a tumblrina.. Anyways, onto Willow. We seem to have the same conversation everyday and it never really goes anywhere. Awkwardddd. For David, whenever he does go on call, he never talks, and it just becomes this awkward silence, he really brings down tribe morale.

https://youtu.be/71NJ9oc-WrI <- Video didn’t embed

Video afterthoughts: According to Alex JJ seems more interested in the idea of a swap happening and is now turning onto the idea of voting David? I’m gonna actually talk to jules about how they feels tho bc they said they trust me and I wanna like,, show the trust in return? I want them to feel good w me as much as I feel good w them

It seems like me and Julia created the vote once again, and AGAIN it is not traced back to us. Michael is under the impression he created the vote (lol) which is good for us, no blood on our hands. The reasoning behind planting Mitch and Michael as targets into people's head was to see how they scrambled so we could flush every alliance. We now know Mitch and Michael are working together. If all goes well it should be unanimous (if we even had to go to tribal).

We didn't go to tribal the first time around so David got to stick around. I have an odd feeling that we didn't win immunity so tonight will be the actual chance to do so. I really do think it'll be him because he's so inactive and I think its best to keep our tribe active and playing rather than scrambling and weak. Plus I have talked to many people about it so it would be a pretty big blindside if it was someone else and I would be left aghast!

JJ is clearly an influencer in the tribe, and I think he likes me and wants to keep me around and I am perfectly fine being a number in his game. At least for the time being, because at this point that's a strong strategy for me. I think I am making real genuine connections that I can profit from, both strategically but also personally because we have some fun people here :).

okay so this is the end, hold your breath and count to ten. i'm going home. i can just sense it, its my time and i can feel it hap-hap-happenin'. the vote is theoretically noah, but everyone is going quiet so i think its me. my takeaways are that i was too wishywashy, and left myself vulnerable due to my poor social game.

in other news, if the vote is noah i will be SHOCKED. i think we will probs swap too, so we will see. I think it wont matter this is the end, I'm going byebye very very soon rippy rip!

https://youtu.be/KdBeFE1iYWg <- Video Confessional from Day 6

https://youtu.be/ZQZ1ktG2lU0 <- Tribal Council #2 Vote

(Both did not embed)

Day Numero 6; Honestly nothing is popping off in this game for me! So hard to type a confessional because i could be highly naive about my position in this game and i could be getting votes tonight but i have not heard any names except for david once again. 

Episode #3: “I Wanna Start S#!t” - Chelsea

Honestly, Steffen, not much has happened for me in the first two episodes. We'll go over it really quick. I liked my original tribe of 5 with Jules, Liam, Christine, and Ryan. They were all awesome. My mentor, Colin, a fellow House of Shade alumni--also awesome. We won the flash game challenge (of the 5 competitors of my tribe, I scored 1 point which landed me in the middle of our tribe rankings). I bonded with Christine early. That could be something to hang onto. The following round was a crapshoot competition and we won that, too! On my new tribe, I like Lauren and Jack and I also have Christine there. I really wish there was more dirt or drama because I love writing lengthy confessionals, but things are just getting started here!

Alright. So I guess no one wants pleasant kind hearted lily around. They want mean angry bitter ass lily which I'm happy to give but they ain't gonna like it. I got an extra vote on this island thing that no one is gonna know about because fuck these bitches. I know I will need the upper hand later when the couples try to destroy the singles. When I get out of reflection island I'm gonna try to buddy up with Connor and ask him to be my new mentor. Jules I'm pissed. I wish I knew exactly what happened but I will try to get to the bottom of it and make sure all those losers pay. I hope you start feeling better too. I feel like I can't trust anyone after that but Jackson seems pretty genuine of not knowing or not being able to do anything. But, because of this HUGE betrayal everyone on that other tribe can fend for themselves. I'll be all nice nice yeah I'd love to work with you but nah. I ain't interested. Let's be clear here, I have no loyalties and I'm not playing some kind of loyal game. You cut my mentor ill cute you. BYE Andreas also told me about Jules getting voted out most likely before the vote which is cool. I appreciate that. But Nicholas Colin we ain't buddies. I'm rooting for a student to win but it ain't y'all. Tonight I will hopefully put together a board of what original tribes people were on their swap tribe and who their mentor is. I think this will help me get a better picture of what's going on. Also, being bitter as fuck only two days in? My aesthetic. 

Oh and also I miss the damn creative challenge? There better be more to come because I'm sad. I've never done a music video challenge this was my shot and these bitches took me out!!! What the HECKIE???? 

nothing's really happened imo. this main is slow. i want drama. nicholas said there's a majority cross tribe alliance. where's my invite? i wanna start shit. my goal is just to make merge so i can blow up, the best way "Trixsea" Steele knows how. :) :) :)

I know i killed this music video challenge, but Chelsea told me that me and only 3 others submitted anything and after re-reading the rules and seeing that its an extra 5 points for every appearance we could actually be fucked. It wouldn't be to big of a problem because honestly I like going to tribal and getting to vote people off, but I also know of the cross tribe majority alliance who supposedly has majority on our tribe right now. If we lose this I'll probably try to blow up and either shake that alliance up or go out in a blaze of chaotic glory.  

Im at tribal right now and I was getting a sick feeling that I was going to be the one voted out... But I always feel like that. I think that I am going to get my team together, Liam got a vote and if he wasn't sure if he wanted to work with me (even thought he said he wanted to) so yeah.... Me, Andreas, Colin, Liam, Ryan, Jackson... Then we have the numbers? yeah cus there is only nine of us rn. We could pull in Conner to make life really easy and to add a couple number just encase. If we do that then out of everyone we would have: Me and Liam, Colin and Brett, Ryan and Jackson, Andreas and... someone (-_- sorry) and then Conner who lost their student. Thats 9 people in a game with 18? maybe that  about half. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore but I do know that this needs to happen soon before I get bumped to the side... I do no like being a side bitch 

Ahhhh, I'm literally so in love with this challenge it was so much fun and Chelsea did such an amazing job editing it. If we don't win I'll be shocked...and scared. Lauren disappeared for a bit and didn't participate so like I'm a little...or a lot worried for her. As of right now I literally love this tribe. QuilLynn is super smart and I adore her, Willow and Chelsea are sweet and adorable and Brett is a gem. I guess the only person I haven't clicked with is Jack but for now everything's looking good and Im hoping we win the challenge :)

Whew, I'm so excited to have won immunity! The challenge was so much fun and now...its messy cause alliances are starting to form and QuilLynn told me about one that apparently me and Lauren are in? So I don't know if Lauren's making deals without me or what, but nobody's approached me specifically and I'm not in any chats so! I'm not sure what's going on and I don't like it. I think right now my #1 is QuilLynn. She's smart, sweet and very easy to talk to so I officially adore her and wanna protect her at all costs. I need to get things in order with Lauren cause I don't wanna get in the middle of some warfare we don't need to be in. 

We lost. Again. This is the worst. My tribe is cursed. Kinda. It's like a blessing in disguise for me tbh. I'm using this time to recover from last round and regroup. There's more talk of a majority alliance forming and I wanna make sure it happens so I can solidify my place in it. I think my number 1 ally has shifted from Nicholas to Jackson now. Jackson is literally my fave person in this game. He's so nice and fun to talk to, he's socially and strategically aware, and most importantly, he's really cute and nice to look at so! I still got that alliance with JD and Andreas but I am not really loyal to it. JD seems to playing messily and I've mentioned before Andreas seems too well connected for his own good. Anyway, onto this vote! Literally? The only thing I've heard? Is Connor? but....... that's all I've heard. Connor isn't putting out another name. No one else is putting out another name. And that's a recipe for paranoia in my mind. I wanna trust the majority that's been built, JD says Jackson and Ryan will be voting with us, and I trust them 10000% but I'm a paranoid hoe. 

my confessional game so far has been weak af so far like I literally forgot to write a confessional last round, so I guess I'll just do a quick recap. Essentially I have mixed feelings about my tribe bc there are 3 other people who I really like Chelsea, QuilLynn, and Gage. We ended up creating an alliance and QuilLynn titled it "arent you Klad I didn't say fjorden" which is iconic! Anyway that cookie challenge last round killed me but I'm glad I came up with the strategy to split 3 on 0, 3 on 9 and 3 in the middle. Lily was convinced that they weren't going to put all their cookies on one of our tribe mates so like I'm kinda glad I proved her wrong lmao idk. As for the people I have mixed feelings about Jack is okay I mean he usually replies but in PMs he can be kinda boring and give one word answers. Christine is really nice but she just doesnt reply a lot? maybe she just doesnt like small talk or something. Brett, I've heard really good things about him but he only replies when its about him lol, like if I ever start sharing one of my stories or whatever idk he just stops replying lol. Lauren, okay shes super cute but seems inactive. Anyway I was like super excited that we got to do the music video challenge this round, its always super fun even though what I make is always really awkward lmao. Anyway like 4 people from our tribe didnt submit, Jack was sick (so he says), Gage was moving which is alright, and Lauren (didn't say anything about why she didn't do it lol), and Chelsea was editing so its all good. Shes like a really good editor and our video turned out great so I'm glad we won even though we had like 4 people in the video compared to them having like 7. So then QuilLynn informs me that Chelsea told her that theres a majority alliance of like 8ish people?? like what the fuck thats about half the people here. So its Andreas-Jack, Colin-Brett, JD-Liam, and potentially Lauren-Christine. And there are a bunch of people we're unsure could be in the alliance. And then as Im hearing about the alliance I'm realizing that it consists of the people on my tribe who dont always reply to me lol or when they do are boring. And I mean I know im not the most interesting texter but these people are worse then me. So then I was talking to Ryan and asking him about his tribe and the reward and stuff to see if I could get any information about whether if hes in the majority or not without directly asking. So I was like whats was the idol clue reward this time and he told me about how it has to do with whoever gets the lowest score in the challenge, which sounds super complicated bc if someone with the lowest score doesnt have the clue then no one gets the idol. And he gave the clue to me, and I wanna give it to QuilLynn but we dont need too many people throwing the challenge and if one of our alliance members already has it then it should be alright, and it'll keep up my trust with Ryan since Im not supposed to give it to anyone so Im hoping its a win win. but he told me that I wasnt supposed to tell anyone about what the reward was but before he told me that I had already told my alliance bc I think I trust them more oops? but I think I want to trust Ryan. I told him that I heard rumors about a cross tribe majority alliance but thats all I knew, and he told me about a group of mentors and students talk about a potential alliance and they asked Danielle about it and she told Ryan she would try to get him in if she could. So then I tried talking to Danielle just making small talk or whatever and she only gave one word answers, which was fucking weird? Like some shit is clearly going on that I dont know about? I can already tell im becoming messy af which I wanted to not try to do as much as I did last season but maybe im just naturally a messy player and theres nothing I can do about it lol. Anyway I hope the majority isnt something I should worry about and I hope they self destruct somehow or Im just hoping that it doesnt exist at all and it was just a rumor made up to scare people or some shit. 

hello, everyone~! :D it’s been such a long time since i’ve gone on a hiatus, i know ㅠㅠ and it’s also been such a long time since i’ve updated everyone about how i’ve been doing kdjfnvjkdnv so here is an update that nobody asked for~!

good news: i’ve settled into work really well~ everyone’s been so awesome and gosh, it feels like i’ve been working there for years now when it’s only been about 2 months kdjfnvkfdjnv. i’m also being converted into holding a full time position at my company come end june which means a pay raise and also officially holding the title of being Head od Operations & Logistics.  bad news: work gets super hectic (esp. bc it’s a startup company) and so i barely have time to go through any social media or chatting platforms (outside of work), much less come on to tumblr regularly on work days ㅠㅠ weekends have become super precious for me to rest up for the coming work week which mean i just laze around and also the only time i have to get my social life in place lmaoooo. this is why i haven’t been creating content as often and also why my queue is running on a super low volume (5/day).

hahahaha in other boring news, i’ve bleached my hair down to blonde once more (yay~!!!) within the past 2 weeks and i’ve never been happier because idk, i really like how i look with lighter hair??? (i’ll take photos when i actually look gr8 lmao, i look bleah all the time nowadays :B) AND exciting!!! news!! time!! my friend and i managed to snag tickets to music bank in sg so hmu if any of you would like to meet up to say hi on 4th august! i’m suuuuper excited to see the groups that are coming down like holy shit awesome lineup and also B!! T!! S!! can u hear me crying from over the ocean??? ㅠuㅠ

finally, i would thank you all so much for sticking by me while i’m on my hiatus! :D my inactivity must be a downer but i’ll do my best to come on whenever i can and post content as much as i can! i’ve seen my follower count bounce around the same few numbers for the longest time so HAHAHA, hiatus is really taking a toll on my blog. but regardless of it alllll, I AM ALWAYS THANKFUL FOR ALL OF YOU! please take care of yourselves~ ily! ♡

Ep. 1 - “Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on...” - Randy

i cant see pls send imitrex

i have a crush on cole, i'm in this game and virgin islands with him and i really like talking to him.  he is really genuine and easy to talk to, i feel ridiculous for admitting this but this was the first thing i thought to confess about lol

I want to shoot myself in the fucking face what is my tribe?! 

Cole is such a messy thot, Kevin is that but without being remotely good at the game, Arika and Julia are best friends IRL and 1000% will be working together. Louise is a fucking saint but that also terrifies me because I can't do shit against her without being a terrible person. At least Madison is really down to earth and chill even thought I've known her for two days and met her on Club Penguin. I don't know Bryce, Noah or the other one so they're 1000% my go to people right now.

Ohkay hi hi. My name is Bryan and I’m here to try and NOT flop at this game. Ok sooo. I’m looking at my tribe and i notice. My best friend Madison is here. Just kidding i HATE her. Or at least that’s what i will want people to think so we aren’t targeted for our friendship or whatever cuz we had BEEF in our last game. Um. Josh is also here. I was in another game with him but i didn’t really get to talk to him that much. Other than that cole and Kevin seem nice enough and are talkative so that’s good. I guess I’ll just be able to talk more with other people later.

Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on in an ORG you were last minute filled into. I literally hate this whole tribe so much, and I'm going into this game with the mindset that we are losing every single immunity and reward. When I saw the first three cast reveal posts i prayed i wasnt on the orange tribe. i actually believed and god, and asked him for forgiveness for all the sins ive committed and pleaded my case to on why i shouldnt be on this tribe. but, alas here i am. so its time to play i guess I'm not good with social game, and thats why i usually fail at survivor. I always have a good first few days, but then its just me being inactive and skirmming my way until my inevitable premerge eviction. But in this game im literally going to pull all the stops i can. I will start to set up my reputation as a good survivor player. And it starts here. Even if nobody pms me I will take this game by storm. Meaning right now its getting good with the influential such as Jay and Drew. They have a few buds on the other tribe, and working with them can only help me when we hit merge. i'm also going to keep Chrissa tight because she is just such a good ally, but its also going to be hard to protect her as she is such a shit competitor. But thats all plans let me talk about to cast Cameron: Love cameron our last org played together we made final 3, and he asked me to cut him. I will keep him under my sphere of influence especially since he said he isnt familiar with this group of players Chrissa: I also love chrissa. She can be a little annoying sometimes, but she always has good intentions. She is fiercely loyal, and thats something great to have in an ally because numbers are more important in survivor than big brother Constance: I don't like him. I want nothing to do with him. The closest association I ever had with constance was us two being on the same cast reveal post. And I'm far more than content with that interaction. He's from facebook, and that means he is going to stir the pot when there isn't any stirring necessary. He is going to make a move just to make a move, and if I cut him earlier the better. But if I can work with him, and test and experience how he plays this game. I do think it would be more entertaining Drew: I have good relations with him but really havent played an org with him. I have no intentions on backstabbing him especially in this cast. I do think he will either slide into the shadows, or emerge as the person calling the shots for this tribe. Jay: Same as Drew tbh. They're together as a duo, so anything one does the other will follow. I'm not going to beef with him Jill: I haven't met Jill before this. but she is the driest person i have pm'd in a while. Me and her are having forced small talk, but i dont want to lose connections with her yet. I'm hoping she isnt well liked or well received so she can leave. Reagan: Me and her have butted heads so many times in vls. If you wanted a fight. Its going to be between me and her i bet your hat. Sam: I dont know if he's a newbie or from a community. But me and him kicked things off really well, and I'm feeling natural chemistry with him. I'll keep him near my sphere of influence for sure. Roxy: Going against Roxy is such a stupid move. Because she's just going to waste her whole entire game trying to vote you off. She gets really bitter easily, and i dont know what the hell she's saying half of the time. I dont understand her game or her mouth so im just gonna let her be...

[12:25:40 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: dam stop tryna out do my intro  do I have to add my likes too?  tch [12:25:48 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie [12:25:53 PM] Chrissa Bullard: lol [12:26:54 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: okay Ill admit idc about the size of your butt [12:27:01 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: even if you have a small butt id still potentially like u [12:27:12 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: but yall are gay so like  what can a straight gal like me do [12:27:29 PM] Chrissa Bullard: hello sam and roxy with her butt equality [12:29:22 PM] Jill: if u wanna be my friend add me and SAY hey bc i forget to add people [12:29:53 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and I say HEY what a wonderful kinda day [12:29:54 PM] Jill: also msg me ur pronouns thanks [12:29:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: you can learn and work and play [12:30:26 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: my pronouns are "my lord" and "your highness" [12:30:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I said I was a she cause dan didn't take me seriously even tho imma hella serious [12:30:52 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): my pronouns are he/they and they are actually serious :) [12:31:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: oi how dare you say I aint serious [12:31:36 PM] Chrissa Bullard: your highness is serious do not get my lords pronouns wrong :P [12:31:41 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: :/ I'm the lord and the queen roxy herself [12:31:42 PM] Chrissa Bullard: seriously though [12:31:47 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: of course my pronoun is your highness [12:31:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: thank you ! see? chrissa gets it! [12:32:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: look I even have a crown as proof [12:32:07 PM] Chrissa Bullard: true [12:32:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i trans-itioned from being a commoner to being a queen [12:32:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: also if i don't pm you its cause i avoid social interactions at all times [12:33:00 PM] Chrissa Bullard: a mood [12:33:05 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and i haven't left  my house in 9 days [12:33:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: apart from an hour once to go to the gym [12:33:17 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i haven't recovered since i take medicine. its called coffee. it helps releave the symptoms of being dead inside

My tribe is probably going to be useless. Which means that we have to turn it OUT for immunity. Randy, Roxy and I are all attempting to make flags. I have faith in Randy's abilities... roxy, not so much. But she does have a good artistic ability, so I hope she turns it out for this. We can hope. We can hope.

Blah blah blah. Confessional confessional. The immunity comp is a flag making competition. Which means i can’t really participate. The one we have so far tho is super cute!! There’s a Julia on our tribe. I have to start learning people’s names. Ugh. Too much work. 

I think like our tribe will win immunity, looking at cadejo’s scores, they seem like flops I mean that tribe is super ugly so ya know… cute is gonna devour gorgeous. Anyways Anthony is doing great at the flag I gave him the ideas, he executed them for me so everyone is great. Also i got this red KEY

I really don't like my tribe but I think I like the other tribe even less just from the few people I've encountered before or at the very least heard about. If anything though that's great for me because I have all of two or three people I remotely care about so I have no issues with taking people out.

RANDY'S FLAG LOOKS TERRIBLE! but we're going with that one anyway!!! even though its literally furry meme nonsense!!! so i hope to god i dont get targetted when we lose bc i made an effort not to be a grumpy ass beyotch!

ummm roxy said she and sam wanna align with me!! it's so early!!! I may work with Reagan bc we worked together previously I think!! Everyone else seems fine. I'm gunna msg drew and everyone else tomorrow or later and say hey I've been napping!!! Go team

I honestly think im going because peop le don't tell me anything I'm scared 

[3/28/18, 1:55:57 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): "I love y-...ughch..." [3/28/18, 1:56:05 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): Cameron 2k18 im just gonna put this here ;)

Anyway. Here's some tea. Roxy thinks I talk too much about being in the hospital. Sorry sweaty, I'm disabled, I'm gonna be in the hospital. And I have the right to talk about whatever I want. ANYWAY, Constance, the literal loml, gave me this tea so that's great. I LOVE HIM. So we made an alliance of me and drew, because drew has a "bad reputation" (sweetie, you were the one making tasteless comments night one, let's not get it twisted here!!) We talk a bunch, we have good laughs, and we head to bed. I went into this round wanting to target Roxy anyway, but she just went painted a bullseye on her back for me!

This first round felt so nostalgic to me, in the sense that being gone from these games for a while allowed me to step back and revitalize the way that I play games. In the beginning of the game, I felt an immediate connection with Cameron. He is someone who has a really nice, personable outlook as a person and I could see myself becoming really good allies and friends outside of this game. I also really enjoy Drew, Sam and Jill. Drew: I was excited to see him in this game because we just met a few days before the game started because he flirted with me a little and I thought he was a nice guy in general. I haven't had the chance of getting to know him all that well yet, though he stated to me that he will not write my name down throughout the game when we were first added to the tribe, so I hope that stays as promised. Sam: We both come from the same community but we both individually transferred to Tumblr at different points in time. I don't know him well enough to say he could be someone I stay with for the long run, but I have had a few calls with him and he seems pretty straightforward about what he wants in this game and where he wants to go. I'll leave it at that for now. Jill: She is literally everything that is me. "I'm going to see my sugar daddy," "I am eating a whole barbecque chicken pizza to myself," "I need money" I LOVE THIS CHICK! We need to align and become friends for sure because I can't see myself without her! One smaller relationship I have is with Chrissa and that will require some work on my part, both game wise and friend wise included. We had a rough past on a personal note but we are working our ways around it to become friends again on a personal level, not even on a game level. I feel like if Chrissa is able to handle herself in this game with me the way she did in Arrakis ages ago, she should be good to go with me! The people I really don't talk with or connect with right now are Jay, Roxy, Randy and Regan. - Jay just hasn't spoken a lot, but that may be subject to change? - Regan has this huge negative perception that everyone has given about her and I'm honestly not about holding past games or whatnot against anyone. If she is as crazy or as ballistic as people say she is then that will happen on it's own accord. - Randy is..Randy. I'm not really putting a whole lot here. He comes off extremely weird to me and I'm not feeling it. - Roxy and Randy both share the same trait they don't mind expressing: their messy players. I'm not one to want to play with people who are going to knowingly make things difficult for me in this game moving forward. I feel like getting out people who tend to be wildcards for my individual game will boost my ability to better know the personalities I surround myself with. Intended Target: Roxy Reason: I had a call with Sam and discussed some feelings about the challenge for the flag that had taken place. In my individual opinion, expressing the idea of putting in effort for a challenge and then doing the opposite of what you said you would do, shows a false sense of sportsmanship and that bothers me. Roxy said she would make a temporary flag as a concept, but never did and constantly said "I'm lazy, so I don't want to do it." Adding on to the reason above, I was asked if I wanted to be added to a call with Sam by Roxy as they were both speaking with each other and I said I wouldn't mind joining. We both tried asking Roxy about potential ideas for the vote off and Roxy made it clear that Regan would be too easy to get rid of. Then came the critical point of the conversation where Roxy would bring up Cameron and Drew's names, stating that Drew apparently has a bad or weird reputation in the Tumblr community of games, but this is COSTA RICA not any other game. She also stated in regards to Cameron word for word that, "I just think Cameron talks about themselves too much in the main chat, and that brings people to feel for them more, and that makes them look bad" and this was in relation to when Cameron stated he was in the hospital. I found that to be extremely bothersome because otherwise, Cameron has never talked about himself constantly or anything like that. My intentions are to pull myself, Drew, Cameron, Jill, Sam and Jay to vote out Roxy. I started the idea when I asked Sam on call blatantly and he agreed and I calmly took it by step. That's all I have folks! I hope this works out and if for some odd reason I go home first, well then it was fun while it lasted! 

Okay so I need to catch yall up on how shit can turn into bliss SO reward I literally ate shit in. i scored to lowest out of everybody in the whole cast. Making myself inferior to competition flops like Chrissa. So that wasnt really well. However my soccial game has been stepping up. Even though im lacking a little bit in the pm part of my game. I have been having good chemistry with literally everybody in the tribe chat. I have also led us in the flag immunity. So me and Cameron made a flag. And the tribe had to pick which one, and it was pretty set even. I do think the end result wouldve been the same but it was nice to see people on my side and supporting me. So then we lose the tribal flag, and im literally yeeted away from the tribe. Which is really good since with this tribal vote i wouldve been thrown under the bus. allegedely roxy has been throwing names around, and had i stayed in the tribe it might of been my name that was thrown around since it was my flag that lost. so im happy to avoid the drama of the first vote. but now that people have bonded since roxy's polarization im starting to become more outcasted. I just need go stronger for immunities and amp up my social game even more. Since ive been to the other tribe I have a feeling on whats happening. Cole is aligned with all them bitches. Literally Madison Louise are people he's played with before, and when we talked in pms he said this tribe is full of his friends. He is very safe in his tribe which is really nice. Since the League of Gays need to work together at the merge : ~)

Ep. 6 - “I Had the Wig Snatched from On Top of me” - Duncan

ROB

Eddie did not fucking deserve that, fuck you Sam you piece of shit I've hated you for so long. The newbies can go to hell. Matt fucking Summers I am so glad Jenna Tibby beat you she is a much better person than you, and you don't even host. Bye. 

I'm pissed I wish it was me instead

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158247853246/immunity-6-word-play

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158291809426/immunity-results

RYAN B

I pretty much said nothing this round and did absolutely nothing for the challenge but #noshame cause I'm failing 5 classes so.....

ALI

AHHHHH. I JUST MADE A BIG MOVE! This was my first real tribal (the last one was just an inactive being voted out) and it featured IDOL PLAYS, A SPLIT VOTE and.... ME PLAYING AN ADVANTAGE. little old me!!!! Like I just am in shock. That tribal went amazingly. And I don't feel bad about potentially having betrayed Duncan, as he betrayed me too by lying to me! :) All is fair in love and war, but if they think they can fool little old me, they're mistaken. This sheep has claws :)

ROB

7F

fucking [6:56 PM] Trevor: 

<<< FranklyTrevor, Today 6:56 PM no swear words

fucking

JAY

I haven't done one in a bit I'm sorry!!! But I'm in a fantastic position on my tribe. Scott and Ryan are mostly inactive, so I shouldn't have to worry too much about the first two votes. Also I'm still very close to Owen and RTP. And with Owen comes Trevor, which is fantastic for me. I feel like I'm playing Robin's game from India. Getting close to the couple. But it works. And I'll be close with them while I'm on this tribe.

JD

That tribal was terrifying. I was so stressed... I thought that Logan had the same advantage as Ali did. I was holding my breath, waiting to see a 'and there's one final vote' which never happened. I was buzzing on that for like hours at work. But at yen same time, we might have out smarted them this time but why are still in our tribe. We have to get along and we have to win the next challenge.

I'm not going to lie though, the thought of throwing a challenge did cross my mind. Because me and Ali are in a good place here and if we win then that puts our alliance i. A tight spot and we don't know how they are making over there. We just have to do the challenge and hope that they've had time to make their connections like we did and see what happends.

On another side not, if Sam ever right my name down, I'm going to be a bit bitter, not for long because this is a game but i mean me and Ali saved him, his game was in our hands and we decided we needed him. So Sam, if you voted for me at any time... Give me a day lol

-

Omg i really want to work with Eddie. I really think we could have done really well together. And i feel bad about lying to him because he told me flat out he was voting Sam and he wasn't lying. But i mean shit happens and of we play together again i hope to work with him but i guess we might never see that 

I think this last vote out a target on me and Ali. I think we did a good job at downplaying how close we are but I think everyone is starting to see if. Hopefully not all of it, but they know we're working together... We'll see. 

-

I'm a little bitter that the hosts feel asleep during the endurance challenge. It's 4 am for them and I'm still up and they're​ hadent been a post for 2 hours not. My tribe could have really put themselves a head for when everyone else gets on but now we can't. People need sleep but i don't know, feels a little unfare that my tribe (not just me) sat up late to try and grab the extra points and now we'll be tired tomorrow and the others will get the bonus of sleep. Whatever, that's life. 

-

I can't wait to get back with Trevor and Lydia and see what they think about is being able to vote out Eddie :) thank you Trevor for giving us that little bit of advice baby

RYAN PALMER

Ok so tribe swap, epic. I ended up with most of my allies and this is going to be great. The Fam consisting of me Owen Trevor and Lydia seems like it going to be my strongest alliance rn. I obviously still have David who I want to work with, and Jay seems to think the 4 Othrys are gonna stick together. That leaves a pretty big group of intertwined people to work together and I dont have to expose myself. and as soon as we came over trevor immediately told me about how he wants ryan b out next. idk what happened but he does not like him. we are just gonna ignore scott and hope he just gets med evac'd. we won the music video challenge thanks to muah! jk lydia is the star of the video lmfao i love it. so then eddie leaves? nut. glad i dont have to deal with him in this game. their tribal seemed like a shit show and i want to know everything about it. so then we get this new challenge and trevor is like...oh we can lose its fine....and im like....uh no i dont lose on purpose....and he said not on purpose....but like hes not even trying for this challenge...i know hes trying to throw and i hate that. this is going to bite him in the ass later let me tell you!

DUNCAN

You know the saying "I had the rug swept from under me"? Well I had the wig snatched from Ontop of me

-

I fee like freaking Gina Marie after nick got evicted in bb15. Yesterday really sucked. Eddie is a dear friend and someone who I've been dying to play with for the longest time. I'm so pissed that they took him out. Like? The only reason I voted with those three is because eddie was a part of the three. I could of dealt with being lied to by the other side, by being in the minority, by losing an alliance member. I'm crushed by losing eddie. Now I look like a fucking idiot bc I followed my d*ck and not my head. Now I'm on bottom and I need to make sure I find footing in this fucking tribe to make sure that I'm not the next one to go if we go to tribal.

-

Oh! On top of that! I played my fucking idol and had to give it to someone. So who do I give it to?! It's a hard decision bc I don't trust anyone for shit on this tribe, and I'm probably the next to go, but I have to do something, I can't just roll over and die right? Sooo even though I just tried to help vote him out, I gave it to Samuel. Samuel has all the control over the newbies and is in the power position. I don't want to try and get anyone to flip to Logan rob and I because really? Like I've said, I was only in that alliance for eddie. I'm not going to stay on bottom for the other two. #sorrynotsorry I know I can work well with Samuel if he'll have me, so basically I have to spit shine his ass while trying to play it cool with the newbies. Matt summers? Can cheauxke? I told him I liked eddie and I think he was looking to weaken me if I flipped so that's why they went for him. Also you know what, I didn't feel bad about flipping when I casted my vote. Matt summers lied to me about being in an alliance on our old tribe and that's just frustrating. Then he messaged me back after I messaged him at Tribal like "looks like it's going to be hard for me to trust you now" and I'm like BITXH YOU ALL LIED TO ME ANTYWAYS! So I was on the outs anyways?.......I just feel kind of down. All these great people were cast and I knew it was going be a lot harder than the last two times. I'm still going for that crown, but it looks like the path is going to be paved with blood tears and the corpses of friends 

ROB

I know that now that we're not playing anymore, Eddie is going to stop talking to me again. Fuck Ali, should've just voted Sam and saved your double vote jackass.

ALI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMRRoCmK5eU

OWEN

SO! We lost immunity. I didn't try very hard. I don't think any of the people who actually try on this tribe DID do very well... Oops. We have dead weight in Scott and Ryan B so honestly... I wasn't that concerned. Part of me wants Jay to go because Duncan/Rob/Logan are probably a thing, and Jay would most likely join them. Plus Jay has WON before. But also, Jay does well in challenges and I'm technically working with him.

So my thought now is to go for Ryan B, and maybe Scott will just get expelled for literally not showing up lmao. I'm not really sure who Isaac is... But yikes.

I'm not playing a very good game I don't think, but it's because of the cast. Half of them I have strong relationships outside of the game and I can't really help that. The other half don't bother to show up or try. So there's nobody new for me to get to know. So! I'll lay low and wait for shit to hit the fan when all the people I know merge. I do feel like I have my hand in different baskets and we'll see what happens :~)

JD

So... I got a ring. I don't know own if i like not being able to help direct the vote. Not being able to have a say in what was happening. I might have to pass it off too maybe, I'm not sure. It's cool as hell, i love the idea but i don't know... Control issues maybe.

RYAN B

Welp. At this point it's gonna either be me or Scott. I've accepted my fate either way. We both have been pretty inactive(although Scott has done even less than me so far). If it's not me this time it'll probably be me next time soooo.........

SCOTT

So my Skype officially HATES ME. I literally haven't been active in the chat for what seems like weeks. Hopefully I don't go tonight. 

TREVOR

https://youtu.be/jhuTyOZlEL8

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158332506751/tribal-council-5-olympus