I've always hated the red light.

.

Mappa got me thinking Armin is definitely not husband material.

No he's just Asshole Material now 🤷‍♀️💓

Hot. We love.

Is this seriously the best they could do

@tangerinesour​ said: "we are the bait but we’re also the trap."

    “Say that again, but use more words.” Cherry’s brows furrowed and she nodded along, her tongue poked past her lips in concentration, as she worked through Tangerine’s explanation. “Bait. Like seduction? Are we,” she pointed from herself to him, “both seducing one guy? Ménage à trois? Frankly, I’d rather spend the evening with his wife. Talk about a fox. Could use her to get to him. And you, I mean, who wouldn’t want a juicy bite? Dossier mentions his past scandals with callboys. You could be the most successful in London.” Her grin was toothy and lopsided. It was all a joke, whether he recognized it or not.

    “Bem, it sounds like you got a plan already.” She crossed her arms and exhaled. “Run it by me, tigre, and I’ll workshop it. Make it better.” It wasn’t a slight to his perceived skill as much as it was a reluctance to follow orders blindly. Besides, she was an artist. She couldn’t simply sign her name at the foot of someone else’s work. There was no integrity in that. 

    “We just gotta nick the flash drive, no? Easy to pocket. No need to get complicated.” As intricate as her canvases tended to be, even she recognized the beauty in simplicity. “Or do we need his laptop too? For the backups.” Her lips pursed. This could get complicated. It was a good time for a cigarette. “Didn’t actually finish the dossier. That’s why you’re here, right?” She grasped his shoulder and grinned. If she had to work with others, the least they could do was lighten her workload. “C’mon, I just love the way you explain things.”

"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw

don’t worry about me. goodbye, big brother

astarion is cheating

cat laziness is so contagious. you'll see your cat flopped on its back in your bed a completely comfy cozy baby and you'll be like. you're right. you make a compelling argument.

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. They wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time

#They really did it

Job interview tip I got from a tiktok but it's genius:

If you were unemployed for a while, they're going to ask if you can explain the gap in your resume. Unless you were actually doing something cool & relevant, this is hard to answer in a way that makes you sound like a good corporate cog. So here's the best and infallible answer -

No you cannot, because you signed an NDA.

You now sound mysterious, desirable, worldly, experienced. They can't even really ask you more about it! Perfect.

hobie motherfuckin' brown!!!!!!

Hold fast. Brave the storm

talking to preschoolers is awesome bc they have not fully differentiated stories into 'true stories' and 'imaginary stories' yet so you will tell them about something that happened you once (coyote came out of a bush right in front of you and got startled) and they will tell you about how one time their house was full of coyotes in every room 'including five in the garage' and they're not even like, aware i think of the idea that they are technically 'lying'. they are simply telling stories about coyotes bc its time to tell stories about coyotes.

public libraries in the usa offering free digital library cards to people not in their areas (as of october 2023):

brooklyn (13-21yo us residents)

seattle (13-26yo us residents)

boston (13-26yo us residents, EDIT: just commonly banned books)

los angeles (13-18yo california residents)

san diego (12-26yo us residents, not the whole collection just commonly banned books)

these books unbanned cards (unless otherwise stated) get you access to each library's complete libby/cloud library collection, no hoopla/kanopy/physical copies included.

ebook collections are expensive to maintain (many american libraries have annual fees for non-residents because of this) but because of an uptick in book banning (particularly brutal in mississippi last summer) larger libraries have opened their doors more, which is very kind of them!

i've used my seattle card for the last several months and their libby collection has about three times the books that my local library does, which is wonderful for accessing more niche titles or skipping a waiting list. would love to hear of similar ebook initiatives internationally!

i use library extension (firefox/chrome/edge compatible) to check all my collections (+ the internet archive) at once, works for several different countries highly recommend it.

spotify seems to be offering 15hrs/month of audiobook listening to premium subscribers and while that does seem useful if you're already paying and are after a new release with a long library waitlist, libraries are better for everything else.