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smallgayblanket · 5 years

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New/revised/whatever- List of stuff

Egos (Marks/Jacks) that I have written for or at least actually have thought about HCS/other universes for: (Just some brief rambles about them, please don't hesitate to ask about them :3)

-Anti, Two takes really, I like him soft, like him mean, hes just fun to write, plenty of different ways to spin why he acts out, what he is and all that. My current fav way to portray him is a missing piece of Seans soul, which means hes unstable as a ‘person’ (cough, not really a human but not, not human either.) And how he has static filled blue eyes but usually hides them with the scary emerald green...

-Jameson, I will always stand by this kinda universe i created with a friend aages ao that Shawn took away Jamesons voice when being puppeteered by an awful ink creature that shares his body. Giving Jameson a lovely fear of knives, some scars, and some very damaged vocals..

-Crank, Oh my fucking boi, a near dead human spliced with a bunch of robot parts..human skin tangled with wires and a heart incased in metal..hes a right mess, a voice in his head that makes him feel all sorts of bad.. He tries his best..he cries oil, I hardly get to write him but I love him.

-Blank, another big fav oi, black hollow eyes..a tendency to faint... My Hc involves him having been in an accident that almost killed him, leaving him with a very rare heart condition. He also has an aura which..kinda ties into him having a few abilities and stuff.

-Nes.. He started off as my own kinda Ethan ego, basically Ethan who was mistreated and really lost his marbles..hes great for the real twisted messed up kinda stuff, so dependant on others, a minor murderer, and has been eyed off by a certain ice cream driver for quite some time...

-Were eth, Okay granted this was literally just kinda an idea that..Eth became a were wolf boi, fangs, tail, ears. Hes just a fun lil pupper

-Eden. Succubus Ethan basically, but well, he again kinda turned into his own thing separate from Ethan. He's got a tail and wings, and hes a lovely lithe thing. He doesnt dare do things without consent, just gets a bit touchy-feely when hes gone without any energy for too long. Very wide stunning saphire eyes.

- Jackie Oh my lad..Buff, trans, adorable, sweet. I always love tinkering around with how/what powers he has tbh..and like- I’ve always had the hc that his eyes are lilac?? or gold. Depending on things.. and he works either at a comic book store, a gym, or at the counter of a gas station. Gives the best hugs. Also I love AUS where hes a phoniex because of uhm?? Big fucking red wings??? YES.

-Hen, Getting his accent right is tough but other than that I love writing about the tired doctor living off coffee and ignoring himself in favor of others.

-Chase The fucking best dad, sunshine lad. Running a vlogging channel and doing his best while combatting depression..I hc him to have chronic fatigue so he has to push himself extra hard. but He does well in trying to get better and look after himself and only slips up like any other helpless human. Very fun to write.

- Robbie. Sof.t zombie lad. Drown in a sweater. Stutters and is v quiet. Slow with speech. Struggles to see sometimes. Loves soft textures.Loves attention. Overall soft fucking lad.

-KOTS, To mean known as Simon. Actually v smart, big brain, very scattered n shy and nervous and squirrelish. Loves books n plants, loves nature. Red is his best colour. Warm sweaters and nuzzling and cuddling up. I always get torn between him being a hybrid of human/squirrel or just a lovely soft guy.

-Yan ! My fem nb/trans gal! They’ll kick ass with their katana, have the hots for Bim, and looove Japanese culture and stuff. Very adorable. Loves pink. 10/10 love to write.

-Technically I do have a muse for Mark, or..idea? I’m thinking about shoving it into my own oc/thing..but basically he got tortured n abused by Authy so hes not quite like the real life markimoo..just a nervous mess whose dealing with his traumas..

-Bing, Skater lad, yellow/orange eyes, sunflower vibes. Tries his best, clumsy as fuck, great for a laugh when hes not cowering under google.

-Edward iplier, Gah my doctor lad.. I have a hc that he Lost arm. In fire..or by dark n wilf. He has heterochromia too!! One cho ceye one blue one. He is a fucking nerd (Minor adhd lets be honest) He fucking loves space and science and space/science related lights. He has a bat plus with spacey wings. He likes reading, likes being clean and is quite a quiet indulger in food which has left him with a big of a softer figure. Super gentle nature..nothing like the arrogant portrayal we got in some videos.

-Angus I love this man!!! Part Aussie, part irish, a whole lot of gruff old dad with a soft spot for nice people and animals, has his own big place, next to a large ass forest. Loads of scars. Loves boots and cameo coloured clothing. A lovely guy when you get past the rough edges.

Aand onto all my ocs as of writing this (cause you name well know I be writing new ones like..all the time.)

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OC’S (My original characters!)

-Jessy, Cowboy- Choker with gold bell. Lil ears/horns. Spots. Shy but sweet. Hands and feet different colour to rest of skin. Kinda fur ish feeling rather then just straight-up skin. Pear shaped figure. Shy lad. Likes to take lots of naps, anxious easily but a big people pleaser too.

-Ailan and Keros. Moth n butterfly boi. (Literally just made up with a friend, just a random soft pair of lads tbh nothing too fleshed or spesh)

- Louie - Followed by a dark being/creature/spirit... Yet to determine what else about him, but hes got brown hair, pointed ears and looks lovely in green.

-Quinton A Hybrid of Demon and Angel otherwise called a Guardian. Quirky, Pan as shit, great dress sense. Extremely calm. Can see auras. Lovely black feathered wings. Bright blue hair. Kind smile. Works at a little coffee shop in his spare time.

-Ori Very pure angel boy, previously owned and not very well treated by a god, came crashing down to earth with no memories but his wings intact. Some help him.

-Lumi Ghost boy! Died years ago under awful circumstances..now lingers around on earth, sometimes meeting humans who happen to be able to feel or see his presence, he has the ability to make himself solid for short periods of time.

- Lucio Witchy..dragon soul something or other- Deaf.Paralyzed? In the arms??They might use alot of energy trying to hover around instead of having to use a chair..(I mean how many witches do you see with chairs??).. Although they could not have use of their arms instead, like..paralyzed from the shoulder down- they still have them but theyre effectively useless and easily sore.. (which might make magic really hard, cause theyd have to master it again without their hand gestures.)

- Eztli, Bit of a prick. Basically got cursed to have really weird blood that replished and rejuvinated too fast/too much by a witch he angered. So he turned the curse into a good thing and basically goes out offering himself as a human blood bag for vamps willing to pay in info, items, cash or uh..other services..

- Gallio Photographer, has hypocalcemia. Haven't really done much else with him tbh.

-Aomi Warlock/witch in training. Downright awful at it. Young and lives in a nice lil cottage outside of the village he was abandoned in.

- Lucas A moonstone gem perma-fusion, he kinda has SPD/DID but he doesn't, cause..hes two gems that became one but not fully. Leaving him to be a bit of a mess and not as strong as other moonstones.

- Kiyan. A little assistant android!! Created to assist, he can make portals!, He works at a post office. Hes under surveillance by the company that made him and isnt yet aware of many human customs/emotions..

- Alex A very confused, overly optimist Alien who doesn’t know what they are. Come from the planet Eutychia, 4'3. They fucking glow. You know Kilowatt from space chimps? think that. But hair n freckles and more human and just as bubbly and energetic.

-Locus Mer/Fish boi! Transparent fins, glowy patches, plays harp + loves music.

-Lir A Tiny Octopus/Human hybrid lad. Makes little burble and trill noises. Quite harmless. Needs a home.

Benji (Strawberry shortcake boi- Cursed tape /bandages. Demi half god.? One eye. Uses notes. To communicate but also sign. Really. Good sweets maker)

Small bois (A collection of tinys because G/T is fucking great okay?)

- Tobias. Literally Made of hair gel. cleary, adorable, aaand Eats soap..amoung other non food items he probably should not ingest but does..

- Hinto Guy made of foam slime. Very chill n laid back.

- Glowstick bubs. (Alo/aloke - Green and blue + Siro - Yellow n pink. + Mavi (Vi) Red and silver. + Roxy (Ro) - Orange and purple ) They’re a cross between glowsticks and lava lamps and its epic- asides the fact they have like.half a brain cell each. Lots of sleeping n lazign around.

- Theo A tiny ink creature. A clever little lad, who likes to drawn and write n paint in ink and leave cheeky little black splotches everywhere. A very good writer companion tho.

- JellyBubs! A collection of tiny sentient jelly babies, hungry lads will raid your cupboards.

-Miel A tiny little bee boy! Loves flowers <3

Apocolyse Squad:

The planet Keres, Left uninhabitable after the invasion that ruined the air and killed almost the entire race.

Sameal o’Ceirin (Being of smoke- partly blind.)

Mallory Thomas (Part cat. Vet, partner to Sam who ends up dying in the canon of their story)

Hamrish Benat (Hayden. 4 eyes, soft tongue. PTSD. extra tiny heart in wrist. Quite fem/soft. Likes soap cutting vids and stuffed toys/teddies.)

Joshua who cares (An asshole. Staight up. He dies. Fuck him. He sucks ass.)

Andy peters (Strong, kind. Kinda like Tyler shied. Big, tol, but actually pretty soft.)

Adrian Géarán (Tail, fire abilities, likes to make little robots. Very weak n has a couple of disabilities that leave him tired n such, which aint great for his esteem or his team when the apoc hits.)

Wyatt ???? ?????????????????

Pace- Nerdy. Finds a cat. Observer for the aliens. Is immune to black goop.

Four - buff. Scary. Deadly.

Apocolypse Squad Part 2 Small lads who dont derese to be in danger:

-Apep, Naga boi Legs mutate into a cool tail. Hisses, fangs. Adorable loves the sun. bout 20 years old.

Chris. Camp leader! Biig dad type, redhead, buff, likes gardening and camping, very outdoorsy. Little awkward but great.

Small child Talise- nickname tails? .. Blind and slightly traumatized by the car crash that killed his mother and ended up with glass in his eyes, very sensitive to noise n textures. Ends up mutating tails. 6 v young n smol blocks n colourin

Shirin Parvis. Crystal boi .. trained solider/ royalty. Tried to warn people before the apoc hit and failed. Now tries to protect the small group of surviors he stumpbles across.

Zephaniah, mutation turns him into a Chameleon basically, just.. a human one. He Prefers Zeph. Big gamey Nerd- gets a pet gecko. 16. Quiet. Loves Lazar skirmish and lazers.

Moyachi, Cactus boi!! Plant bab. Loves water and has clear/lime green tinted aloe/herbal helpful blood. Spikes up at defense from bad people 18/ 19 likes drawing. Pretty grumpy and needs a break.

Colin, nicknames: Coco, Lady bug lad, who is baby trans mutation resulted in a weird Red/Orange skin condition basically. Can predict weather v accurately. Ballet/dance, 14 Likes cooking.

Hotaru , Firefly bby - Glowy bub with antenna, possibly mutates wings.. Sassy and tired. Turns nocturnal as the apoc progressed. Also becomes Colins first love <3

Zeno A Siren of sorts. DC/ hip hopper/ Lost his arm in apoc. He loooves music alot. Very purple aesthetic and checkerboards.

Liren Pichi, deaf peaches n cream aesthetic boi- Nickname Pichi. He is alone during the apoc, sneaks aboard and ship and goes missing..

Neighbours AU:

They all live on the homeworld, Ermioni.

Lesbabs:

Blake Aglaia A human with a gift of being able to put emotions into glass balls.. Red head, quite fem, but gay, sweet, but not mousy.

Lynx ?? An alien and human, the alien somewhat resides inside its host but they coexist. Sometimes goes feral. Alien half likes to go by Perse (Percy) They have cool looking saliva- viens that run down their arms that are pretty cool- sharper nails/claws. Tendrils. Large ol mouth. Lots of pointy ass teef. Lynx likes to train,go to gym, and kick ass. Big ass butch energy.

Demon fam:

Hyacinth A six-armed demon with serious parent energy. Big gardener, his body grows flowers depending on his moods/strength of emotions. Purple neck length hair. Great at comfort and cooking.

Rhys A Demon with a great curiosity about humans has a sibling, Feri. Rhys is a big nerd, but very hard to get to know. Not great with emotions, comes across a tad distant and cold without always meaning too. Loves candles and lots of autumn aesthetic.

Anthos, AKa Ant. Rhys and Hy’s accidentally created/summoned a toddler.. and hes fucking adorable.

Vato - V Hy has another bub later on who's more purpley blue with red curled horns and 4 arms.. No tail.. 4 eyes. V cute and inquisitive. Less noisy and wreckless than Ant.

Roommates:

Douglas Connelly A regular chubby human bean! Learning to become a chef. He loves food, loves cooking and also loves dancing. Hes a big guy, big cudddler, but a little shy and akward at times.

Donovan Amores Real fricking cool and smokin hot Bartender with a love for dogs. Dougs roommate. Has glowing fuckin orbs- donates his heart to a fucking god is smooth as fuck, background heavily Spanish, moved when young.

Haris Alaksim Real name (lost in translation, Huitzilopochtli God of sun and war) ) - A god whom Dono is very close with and donates his heart two one every 3 years during the day of the highest sun. He is a god / Mouros. Donovan refers to him as “Dios gentil” or “ Viejo colibrí sabio” (“El viejo colibrí sabio es un dios gentil” (The old wise hummingbird is a gentle god.)

Donovans Family

Rem (Looks after magical creatures- Cane is from Haris)

Oscar (Not sure what trinket or power but He’s just a casual store worker w/ good arms. Surprisingly good with knives- perhaps has one from Haris?)

Nicole (His only sister Makes clothes..possibly got some ability to do with seasons..? Perhaps earrings or a bracelet from Haris)

Javi (Makes jam, cute boy, wears cloaks. Maybe has a cute little jar necklace or magic jar??)

Luca (Trans bookkeeper- Talks to Haris most often and likes to ask questions..Has precious books...Possibly a special pen..)

Forest bois!!

Cypress The soul of the forest - Mentor of Rem. Very calm, very wise. Kinda like master oogway type.

Unicorn boi, Hes rare, missing a chunk of his horn. Dont hurt him. He doesnt even have a name.

Fyn. Mushroom boy. Protects a gate. Lost his twin during a human-caused fire. Very mad about it.

Fie. Bat boy. Loves fruit.

Moh. Fairy/incubus hybrid.

Tucker. Bunny boi, Best friends with Ainsley. Got some like, punk vibes about him, piercings n such. Not as soft as one would expect but still nice at heart.

Ainsley. Fawn boi, clums, shy, round glasses, Looks smart but doesn't always know stuff. Very unsure of self.

Experiment AU:

Izekiel Iris A being of Paint. Hes made of paint. He has trauma from being experimented on. Slightly depressed. Loves art, loved creating. also regresses to try to deal with said PTSD. Hard to get to know at first.

Matty (Matthew Libelle) An experiment, part human, part lizard, part dragon. Much smol. Hes fucking baby and i adore him alot please do ask anything and everything about him.

Cult bois:

-Nero Aakil (Means Genius/Orange blossom) Orange bub - Leader. Smart. Telepathic link with all cult members. V corrupted… (Parents were rich and ignorant)

-Mao Cerise Pink - Ditzy, Looks after their ‘little bird’ (aka Jey)

-Jey Michael Cherubim Fallen angel - Corrupted..desaturating and weak.. Was summoned by the cult and captured as a trophy.

-Jaden Hirav Looks after a garden of plants both harmless and some not for master. Previously Neros old pet..His The family was alright but he was moreso raised by like his mum and bro. He was kidnapped from his garden and never seen again. The cult ritual to initiate him into the group failed and he was spliced with plants making him near useless to the cult.

-Rowan maverick - Now known as Rogue- Red. Lost their tongue. Does Not follow orders to the T but gets their job done. Has another voice/god/soul looking out for them… Very assassin ready, very perceptive. Wants to get out the cult but knows theyre too far in.. Cool glowy words in the air because they don't have their tongue. Possibly only lives of medication and vitamin pills..possible OD? Possible addiction. They struggle alot with it.

P - Pax - God who watches over Rowan. Was killed by the Master but their spirt lives on.

Cato. Purple - Another smart one.. Possible Wiccan? Sadist. Mean. Tall. Scary. Abuse. Twisted. Loves being in the cult. Eventually wants to host Masters soul..

Gin Short for Ginger but the real name is Xanthe. Blind. Also another assassin like Rogue but more obedient. Doesn't talk often out of fear.

Benjamin Brandy (Benji. B) is Gins friend, Gin is trying not to get him involved in the cult but was too late as B had previously already been cursed and dealt with mythical beings..

Silver bub. Demir. A demon summoned by the cult to complete the collection. Wants out, very stressed.

Adopted AU: (This is like a mess of some of the boys but younger and in a different timeline to their universes smushed together intoa kinda cute school/adoption au idea.)

Matthew is smol autistic, malnourished and heavily abused both mentally and physically, leading to selective mutism and being a small fragile easily tired bab. He loves hanging in the library once he gets used to going to some schooling. Gets tutored by Chris? Goes to camp and helps around n has fun..

Jaden, loves the school garden, and likes science class. His family is alright, However he ends up mostly raised by his sister? Or brother?

Iz is the lil art bab, also in foster care of a big family, not so much abused but semi neglected. Quiet.

Nero is the gifted nerdy child..Parents ignorant. They love history and fictional books and reading and learning.

Benji is the slightly older kid whos possibly maybe a little behind or delayed or..something, they help out with other kids as a buddy? They like to do cooking classes.

DA AU

So this Au was like..the Septic tank births all the egos.

Angus first- He has..some kinda strength I imagine/..

Then Anti, Hen, Jackie. Marv.

Chase - He kills himself because of Glitch- also falls in the tank a second time and ends up with odd powers.

Glitch Starts off as very bad and misunderstood. Turns out they were just highly unstable and required medical treatment. Their real name is Arius and they cant stomach solid foods all the time. Mostly a liquid diet. They have glitchy fits/static seizures. Very unpleasant. Can enter tech, and its not so great, can get trapped. Can absorb certain amounts of electricity because of this they Got hit by ightning once and has epic lighting scars!! Up arms..some on neck. All over his chest and back.

Septic clone AU

Sean giving up bits of soul to make clones ends up in coma

Experiments and torture and odd shit with the egos ensues??

Minecraft AU??

Yeah i had weird ideas for a cute minecraft gang of minecrafters who had accidents involving getting merged/recded with other creatures traits ect.

Vail. -Vex / Human

Snow golom hybrid? Or Blaze?

Slimey boi

Kitsune

Panda lad.

Pokebabs au

Mainly for Matty, Iz and Blank.. were they have pokemon forms and when bonded with a human long enough can evolved into human forms??

Horned AU (With Troiseh/Glitch-in-the-static)

Shiro -Prince lad (This is their lad :3)

Junji - Battery..whump/slave/lost prince

Isao Asuka - Shiros Royal Guard

Alien AU

Hami if he were..alien instead of being a human in an apoc basically.

Angel AU stuff:

Good omens inspired boi

Leo Halvar Part..humany..demon..Cambion are according to google "In late European mythology and literature, a cambion is the offspring of an incubus, succubus, or another demon with a human, or of an incubus and succubus"

Ryan Hot archangel guy: One wing, demon hunter thing.. Good kinda reforming from a less nice lifestyle previously.

Mute angel possibly demon idk- - Latif? Emmet? Evan?

Long fringe shy boy- Cael / Lox

#list #ocs #egos #ideas #hcs #blu rambles #blus list #its fuckigng 2 am #im sorry if this makes no sense #but here are a fuck ton of lads #and a fuck ton of aus and ideas #if anyone ever wants to ask XP

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amandajoyce118 · 5 years

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Aquaman Easter Eggs And Comic Book References

I’ve seen Aquaman a few times over the last couple of weeks, and I finally got around to sitting down and typing up my list of Easter eggs. It’s unlikely I caught everything, but you know, it’s always fun to try.

There are spoilers in the list for the movie since plenty of the plot points where Easter eggs occur are major moments in the movie. By this point, you know the drill. I kept mainly to comic book references, but there’s the odd pop culture one in here as well.

Obviously, there are other pop culture references as well. Everything from The Karate Kid to Pinocchio seems to get a shout out. The more general pop culture knowledge isn’t going to be here. I also didn’t list every single character who comes from the comics unless I thought there was something specific about their appearance that deserved a nod.

DC Logo

Because Warner Brothers produces all of the DC Comic movies, the DC logo appears following the Warner Brothers one, usually. This time around, the logo doesn’t just flash in its cute CGI glory. Instead, it appears as though it’s underwater.

The Opening Sounds

In addition to the DC Logo being submerged, there’s also the sound of a sonar ping and a humming that you wouldn’t really notice as anything important. Turns out, it matches the sounds made by the trident at the end of the movie. (I only noticed this on a second viewing.)

Jules Verne

Arthur’s narration that opens the movie gives a nod to genre writer Jules Verne as he quotes the author. The hidden sea also provides a nod to Verne’s classic Journey To The Center of the Earth (though it is also a comic book locale from a recent story where Mera and Arthur discovered Atlanna was alive and leading an island full of exiled Atlantean descendants).

Amnesty Bay

This is the comic book location where Arthur Curry makes his home on land. The whole Tom Curry as his dad, owning the lighthouse, etc, is out of one of the newer comic book origin stories. The difference is that in the comics, when Arthur is an adult, his father is dead. It’s nice that the movie kept Tom alive. (In modern comics, as in, last year, Mera even lives in Amnesty Bay while she’s recovering from injuries.)

1985

I don’t know why this year in particular struck me, but I thought Atlanna ending up in Amnesty Bay that year had to be significant. After all, Jason Momoa was born in 1979, so it’s probably not a result of trying to get his age lined up with Aquaman. Here are a few things that happened in 1985: Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman) was born and the Crisis on Infinite Earths event debuted. The latter seems more likely of an Easter egg nod, but we may never know.

The TV Show

The show playing on Tom Curry’s television when he brings Atlanna back to the lighthouse? That would be Stingray, a show that used puppets as underwater heroes. The group had their own submarine and a princess from an underwater kingdom. The show originally aired in the 60s, the same decade the Aquaman comic book series was originally published.

Dunwich Horror

The book under the snowglobe on the coffee table is by H.P. Lovecraft. It’s a collection of short stories, one of which is the title story. In it, a son is born of two different species, much like Arthur.

Atlanna’s Crafty

She’s got a box on the table at the lighthouse, yes? You’ll notice that its design is very similar to the motherbox. Perhaps she spent a great deal of time guarding it. That might be why we get Mera saying (in Justice League) that Arthur needed to retrieve it, since Atlanna would have been responsible for it. As a bonus, we also get Mera mentioning the events of Justice League to Arthur later in the movie.

Manta

Black Manta is (perhaps obviously) a comic book villain. His origin gets a bit of a tweak here, and I like the joke for just why ends up with the giant helmet. (And the nod to Jaws there with “I”m gonna need a bigger…” you get it.) What’s great is that before he actually declares himself Black Manta is all the nods to his ocean inspiration. You’ve got the experimental craft that’s shaped like a manta ray, you’ve got the engraved manta on the knife, and you’ve got his family backstory as well. (Fun fact: Michael Beech, who plays his dad, was originally cast to voice Black Manta for an animated series, but rights issues meant the name of the character had to be changed.)

Lifting The Sub

That shot of Aquaman lifting the submarine is straight out of the comics. A lot of the big money shots in the movie are, like Aquaman holding the trident in front of his face when he activates its power. The team did a good job at nailing the comic book aesthetic.

Languages

Probably not an Easter egg, but I find it interesting that Aquaman appears to pick up on other languages pretty well, just like the Amazons. It feels like a nod to the fact that Atlanteans and Amazons have been around for centuries and have lived hidden from humans, but have still learned a thing or two about them.

GBS

The news station that pops up is the Galaxy Broadcasting System. It’s part of Galaxy Communications, part of a multimedia company from the comics. It’s kind of like Supergirl’s CatCo.

Dr. Stephen Shin

Okay, I know he kind of seems ridiculous and cartoonish in the movie compared to a lot of the other characters, but… he’s pretty on par with the comic book character. The character actually knows Aquaman in the comics. Arthur even comes to him for help once in a while, but Shin ends up disgraced because of his involvement with Aquaman, and Arthur won’t even let him prove that some of his research is accurate. So, yeah, I could see him going the supervillain route.

Annabelle

When Mera and Arthur pay a visit to Vulko, there’s a doll on the ocean floor outside the sunken ship (BTW, is that a sunken galleon, as in the name bar Arthur and his dad frequent?). It looks just like Annabelle. It makes sense that we’d see some horror nods since that’s James Wan’s wheelhouse.

Nereus

Mera’s father is a comic book character, just like every main character in the movie, but his comic book backstory is very different than what you see in the movie. For one thing, he wasn’t her father. Instead, Nereus was a military general for the Xebel people. He was also Mera’s betrothed before she left Xebel behind on a mission to kill the King of Atlantis (yeah, her comic book backstory is a little different too). It’s an interesting twist on his character, though Nereus is very jealous of Atlantis and pushes for war a time or two, so he’s not that far off.

Atlantean “Tribes”

Some of the different groups of Atlanteans are rooted in the comics. Mera and Nereus lead the Xebels, for example. In the comics, Xebel is an extradimensional pocket for Atlantean separatists were sent long ago. It was basically a prison, but the people evolved and adapted. The royals learned magic that allowed them to control water, hence Mera’s abilities. Those in the Trench? They were a species of sea animals that lived in a literal trench in the comics that were dying out. Mera and Arthur ended up trapping them to prevent them from trying to eat humans.

Ocean Master

The name Orm spouts as the leader of all of the Atlantean tribes is Ocean Master. That term is also his supervillain name in the comics. It’s a cute way to change it up for the DCEU.

Man of Steel Reference

Okay, I frequently forget that Man of Steel technically started this cinematic universe, but when Orm takes Arthur to task for the way the surface world poisons the oceans, we get a nod to it to remind us. One of the images used is a collapsing oil platform. It’s the same one that fans theorized Aquaman saved Superman from by sending whales in to help him during Man of Steel.

Octopus On Drums

In the 1960s, back when Aquaman first got his solo series, he had a slew of sidekicks, both animal and Atlantean. One was an Octopus named Topo. I like to think this Octopus was a nod to Topo, but also, a nod to The Little Mermaid, because, come on. We all notice Mera’s fondness for ship wrecks, her red hair, and her not staying underwater like everyone wants her to, right?

Leigh Wannell

This guy appears in a cameo role as the cargo plane pilot. He’s a close friend of director James Wan. Like Wan, he’s a big horror guy. In fact, he’s an actor, director, writer, and producer for the Saw and Insidious franchises.

Africa

The sequence that sees Mera and Arthur rising from the water with the Africa remic playing in the background? That’s intentionally shot as an homage to the Fast and Furious franchise, according to James Wan. I mean, sure. I guess if you got to play in that world, and one of your stars became a DC superhero, and then you got to direct a DC movie, why wouldn’t you want to come full circle there?

The True King

Arthur becomes the True King when he gets the trident and comes back to battle Orm for the throne. Before that though, he has to find the trident with the help of the “true king” in Italy. That turns out to be Romulus. It’s a nice parallel since Romulus becomes the first true king of Rome when he defeats his brother Remus.

Murk

Played by (Power Rangers Black Ranger) Ludi Lin, Murk is one of Orm’s inner circle, and high ranking in the guard in the movie. In the comics, he’s also high ranking in security when Arthur is King. He looks a little different in the comics. He looks more like a big gladiator than Ludi Lin. He also has a harpoon for one of his arms. When he fights Mera in Italy though, she gets one very deep slash to his arm, so maybe we’ll see that come to fruition in the future.

Khal Drogo’s Kelp

The scene where Arthur wakes up on a boat after his fight in Italy? His injuries are wrapped with kelp in a very specific way. Game of Thrones fans will see that as a nice nod to Khal Drogo, the role that really put him on the genre map.

The Trident And King Atlan

There’s a whole thing in the comics with the “Dead King” coming back and trying to get control of his kingdom, wanting to use the world. There’s also his scepter in the comics, which does a lot of what his trident does in the movie. Atlan’s clothing, and the ceremonial armor Arthur ends up in, are also a nod to Aquaman’s gear in the comics.

The Karathen

The comics label this sea monster as the Karaqan, but it sounded like it was pronounced differently by the actors, so choose your spelling. The sea monster looks exactly like it does in the comics. The effects guys did a great job. More than that though, they gave it a better story. In the comics, the animal went a little crazy and Arthur ended up having to kill it because he couldn’t communicate with it. I prefer the movie version where he’s the only one who can communicate with it. Bonus: the giant sea monster is voiced by the classic Julie Andrews. She actually didn’t cameo in Mary Poppins Returns (which opened in theaters the same month!) because she chose to do this voice role instead.

Aquaman Rides A Seahorse

The Superfriends TV series had a lot of silly moments for Aquaman. One of those things was him riding a seahorse into the thick of battle. It’s one of the things that has made a lot of people make fun of the character over the years, but now, it’s also iconic. The movie gets to put its own (much more badass) spin on that idea as Arthur grabs a seahorse to meet his brother in the climactic battle.

Coast City

This DC comics locale gets a nod in the post credits scene. It’s one of the locations where Dr. Shin has a newspaper clipping from. Coast City is home to Hal Jordan and Carol Ferris of the Green Lantern comics.

That’s all I’ve got for this one! Let me know if you guys spotted anymore!

#aquaman #aquaman movie #DC comics #aquaman easter eggs #easter eggs #i wrote a thing

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dappercritter · 5 years

Note

You have been granted the oppurtunity to recast your favorite animated movie! The only catch is that each of the characters in said movie are animated characters from different shows/movies (X from show/movie is Bob, X from show/movie is Larry, ect.)

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boi. You have no idea what you’ve just unleashed, my friend!

Once long ago, before the Cringe Ages, I loved recasting my favourite and sometimes least favourite movies with characters from my favourite shows. But then I started taking storytelling more seriously and sentimentally and… art-y, and I started acting as if I was above the stuff somehow. To this day, I still don’t know whether to blame the masses or my own hubris.

But now! Now, the floodgates of my childish, innocent mind are open once more! And I have just the idea: The Nightmare Before Christmas but with Villainous and Batman* characters! (With a few CN villains on the side.) So, I guess you could call it…

The Villainous Nightmare Before Batman!

(No, wait. Uhhhhh…)

The Dark Knight Before Villainous!

Ok, yeah, that should do.

Now you’re probably asking yourself, “Dapper Critter, what are you doing this? Sure, Batman meets Villainous could work, but why are you bringing The Nightmare Before Christmas into this? It’s not even Halloween or Christmas! What are you thinking?!” Well, first of all, Christmas and Halloween aren’t just holidays, they’re states-of-mind. Second, I think it’s time you guys learned something important: I’m a big ol’ lowkey goth baby, baby! If it’s spooky or gothic, I’ll soak it up like a sponge in sink full of soapy water. And nothing says gothic like the hero of a city literally called “Gotham,” a show with a grotesque monster hiding behind the guise of a well-dressed man, and the classic story of Jack Skellington himself! What’s more, all three of these hold a special place in my heart, as they all played a huge part in helping me develop and realize my interest in gothic culture. Lastly, I can see the worlds of these three stories coming together quite easily. Behold, this plot pitch I just made!

“Another Halloween has come and gone in CN City, and another cheerful Christmas is on its way. Black Hat, unofficial master of all that is dark and evil, is thoroughly disgusted that the multiverse will soon be returning to it’s obnoxiously cheerful and wholesome state. He morosely tears a hole through time and space to talk a walk through reality, miserable that he’s stuck living in such a wonderful place. That is until he stumbles upon the city of Gotham, where no matter what time of year it is, the streets are filled with misery and malicious mayhem. Delighted, he sets out to celebrate Christmas his own way: by taking a certain caped-crusader out of the picture and making Gotham his very own holiday vacation home! Little does he know, there’s one special girl who thinks he can celebrate right where he is, as well as a certain clown who’s got his own sinister Christmas party in mind…”

So now that I’ve convinced you, I think it’s time we got down to the actual recasting! Let’s begin, my darling children of the Hot Topic night…

Black Hat as Jack Skellington: This couldn’t have been easier—they’re both creepy gentlemen with excellent taste in fashion. Yes, I know Black Hat is a lot less nice than our dear Pumpkin King, but let’s just say this story takes the odd liberty here and there. Not to mention, Black Hat could easily match Jack’s enthusiasm, intelligence, style, and obsessive inquisitions. Plus, he could totally pull off an evil Santa suit. (Though to be honest, I’m not sure if his snarling, slimy, cockney-accented voice could match Danny Elfman’s melodious singing.)

Demencia as Sally: A devoted, mildly ghoulish, and totally cute fangirl who’s always pining after their darling idol, and who may or may not have been made in a lab? It’s like this fancast is writing itself! Demencia might be a bit more proactive—and scary—in the plot, but I can see her a lot Sally’s dilemma in her as she tries to get Black Hat to notice her and not to abandon them in pursuit of a crazy dream. (Well, that I’m filthy Lizardhat trash.)

Dr. Flug as Dr. Finklestein: Flug, being the only mad scientist who’s employed by Black Hat, as well as the only to survive this, seems like a good pick. Sure, he’s not in a wheelchair and, no, he’s not as creepy as the bugger, but he could still work as our horrid hero’s right-hand man. Plus, since a big part of his canon character is putting up with Demencia’s BS (tell my family that means “baloney-sandwich”), he’d also do great as the one trying to keep the free-spirited love interest under control. Only here, it would be because he’s trying to keep Dem out of trouble so she doesn’t make his boss mad and try to kill him, as opposed to… whatever Finklestein’s problem is. And of course, he can still be menacing if need be. (Just watch the Lost Cases of Townsville and The Tree House…)

5.0.5. as Zero: A cute animal sidekick is a cute animal sidekick, I always say! And 5.0.5. was basically designed to be the ultimate cutesy animal sidekick. Therefore, he can be basically do anything Zero did. Try to cheer up Black Hat? Check. Pull Black Hate’s sleigh? Why couldn’t he? Yeah, he can’t be a flying ghost dog with a glowing nose, but I could just throw bedsheet on him (it was just after Halloween after all) and maybe say he swallowed that anti-gravity device.

Batman as Santa Claus: For Santa Clause, I needed someone who could be the absolute good guy in a world filled with bad guys and weirdos, much like Santa was in the movie. Likewise, since Jack kidnapped Santa to take over Christmas, Black Hat would need to kidnap the guy in charge of Gotham in order to take it for himself. So, of course he’s going to go after it’s #1 protector. I can also see Batman being the voice of reason in this madcap story. Not to mention that he could pull off a Santa suit even better than Black Hat! (In fact…)

The Joker as Oogie Boogie: This one I had some trouble with. I kept asking myself stuff like, “who would be brave enough to usurp Black Hat?,” “who could match Oogie’s siz—er, presence?” or “who would want to kidnap Santa Claus?,” and “Who would be into gambling and crazy funhouse stuff?” And then it came to me: The Joker. I mean, he’s got charisma, a sense of menace, he’s a cutthroat who loves to play with his enemies, and almost always has a big ol’ amusement park deathtrap on hand. Sure, he wouldn’t have the creepy demise like Oogie, but he could get a good beating and traumatizing from Black Hat and/or Demencia (who’d really hate being a damsel in distress, I imagine).

The Delightful Children from Down the Lane as Lock, Shock, and Barrel: At first, I thought of using other Batman villains or Shannon, Darrell, and Ernesto from OK K.O.!, but then I thought it would make more sense to have child villains from a CN show who could do bad things for slime-balls like Black Hat and Joker with pleasure. I instantly thought of these scheming, little monsters from Codename: Kids Next Door (an old favourite of mine). Although they’re usually talk and act in unison, they could have some comical bickering now and then. (After all, “Lenny is an idiot.”) Likewise, I can see Black Hat using Batman’s affinity for young people to get him while his guard’s down. They could make for great trick r’ treaters as well!

Lord Boxman as The Mayor: The mayor wasn’t a very important character, but he was definitely a memorable one, and the first character I thought of who could match his dual personality was Lord Boxman from OK K.O.! They both act like leaders but are really terrible at their jobs, suck up to better villains, and throw a whimpering tantrum like nobody else. (Also, I get to imagine Jim Cummings singing lines from The Nightmare Before Christmas songs, so that’s nice.)

Various CN Villains as The Citizens of Halloween Town: Like with The Mayor and the Trick R’ Treaters, I like to think that the various CN villains who cameoed in the Villainous Orientation series would show up as the denizens of the seedier side of CN City which—as you probably guessed—would be standing in for Halloween Town. Unfortunately, I do not have an encylcopediac knowledge of either Halloween Town residents, nor CN villains, so I’ll just list the ones I can remember and am the most proud of without offering any real justification.

Nohyas as Mr. Hyde: I couldn’t think of anyone besides Black Hat with a fancy hat or smaller versions of himself. Nohyas just so happens to have a suitable villain’s hat, and Handre (his hand puppet) could work in place of tiny clones living under his hats. (And yes, I like Mighty Magiswords. Deal with it.)

Zombozo as Clown with the Tear-Away Face: I don’t believe all creepy clowns look the same, but a ghoulish clown could easily stand in for another. Plus, I used to be a big Ben 10 fan, so I thought I ought to work something in.

Donny as Behemoth: This grass ogre from Adventure Time was more of an outright jerk than Behemoth, but he has a softer side so that would make him a great candidate for a resident gentle giant.

Loony Toons’ Dracula, Billy and Mandy’s Dracula, and Count Spankula as The Vampire Brothers: Do I really need to explain this one?

The Red Guy as Devil: I sure don’t need to elaborate on this one.

The Gangreen Gang as the Zombie Band: The Gangreens were basically based off edgy bands of the late 90’s, and thanks to Gorillaz, we know Ace can play the bass like a boss. Also, I can totally hear Ace saying, “Nice work, bone-daddy.”

Earl (AKA Dopey Black Hat) as Igor: Earl doesn’t get enough to do, inside or outside of Villainous canon.

The Beast as The Hanging Tree: Yeah, I know, I’m messed-up.

HIM as Harlequin Demon: Seriously, this one cast itself!

The Queen of the Black Puddle as Undersea Gal: I don’t watch Courage the Cowardly Dog much, but I remember seeing this villainess once before and I instantly thought she’d be a dead-ringer!

Morbidia and Gateaux as The Witches: Another natural casting derived from my soft spot for Mighty Magiswords. Although Gateaux is a male and a tall one at that, he’s perfect for being a huge suck-up. (I originally considered Miss Endive from Chowder and Duchess from Fosters’ Home for Imaginary Friends, but then I remembered that no matter what they dressed-up as, they’d be unlikeable.)

Monstrous Black Hat as The Monster Under the Bed: Like Earl and the other Black Hat clones, he doesn’t get enough love. (Though this may be a good thing, since he seems too nasty to receive or return it…)

Rob as The Melting Man: There aren’t a lot of CN villains who are melting, per se, but I figured this poor bad guy from Amazing World of Gumball and his unique media-mixed malformity could work.

Biowolf as The Wolfman: Because they’re both well designed wolfmen and I refuse to forget Generator Rex.

The Robins, Batgirl, and Alfred as the Elves: If Batman’s going to be Santa, then his support staff/family might as well be his helpers. Not to mention, they’d look great in cute little elf outfits happily working on Batman’s gadgets in preparation for the big Christmas crime wave.

The Justice League as The Army: Someone needs to show up to shoot-down Black Hat and his idea of Christmas at the end, and since he’s kidnapped Batman, I think it only makes sense that the Justice League would retaliate and come to clean up Black Hat’s mess. He’d also get a reminder that he isn’t just in Gotham City, he’s in the DC universe.

Unikitty as The Easter Bunny: I have my reasons. Them being, Unikitty is good at being sweet and innocent, the episode “Batkitty,” and her world is one of the few Black Hat has interacted with so far. I like to think that’s because he’s too repulsed by her cuteness to touch it. So imagine his reaction when the Delightful Children bring him to her by accident while she’s cosplaying as LEGO Batman or something.

And there you have it! I had a lot of fun making this recast. It was a great way to step out of my comfort zone and to have some fun. Not to mention, I had an excuse to listen to the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack early. I sincerely hope you like it as much as I do, @good-guy-is-alive!

Now I just need to make sure Black Hat himself doesn’t see this, or else he might find me and—

Oh no.

No, please, Mister Black Hat, sir, you don’t understand. I just was doing this for fun. I wasn’t trying to make you look—

OH NO.

NO!

NOOOOOOOOOOjglkajgflkjdshGH;LJF’W abfklghlfuGFARGTADS!!!#%RQ#@!

…

*Since DC changes their Batman shows like people change their socks, we’ll just say that this is your standard DCAU/Bruce Timmverse Batman.

#goodguy #goodguyisalive #critter asks #critter answers #the nightmare before christmas #villainous #batman #dc comics #cartoon network #self-indulgence #recast #fancast

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riotatthemovies · 6 years

Photo

Watching Puppet Master the littlest reich right now.. you know the one that everyone hated... it's not that bad.. super flawed but editing is its worse crime.

With the writer of Bone Tomahawk and a producer of the Meg cause a major released version of a micro budget franchise of killer puppets.

It's basically a meta film as if what if you lived in a world that had the puppet master toys and they all came to life to kill everyone they didn't like. There are some amazing scenes in which the real Puppet Master series have not had in years.. the main actors can actually act.. which is rare for the main series to have either. It is a lot slicker than any of the series but still a B movie in every sense of the word. The disgust people seem to have with the cruel element of the movie is over hyped cause the killers are evil and supposed to do evil things. It's not supposed to be cool cause it wants to show you the puppets are ledit evil this time. We do get classic puppets like Blade, Torch and Pinhead but in general these are random killing machines and thats it. Its stated they do nazi hate crimes so it makes sense that would do fucking awful things. Its today's world trying to be shocking, it is executed in a way that is paced wrong and makes you unsure if it's shocking or funny. Funny and shocking are both things that a horror film should be though. The worst part is that we never meet half the people that are killed so you don't care about them. However again thats supposed to be the point that all these random killings happen then we learn about the people so we can be shocked that the puppets are commiting planned hate crimes. In this day and age that is kinda shocking.. just presented in a lazy way that is all. After a slow start the movie kicks it in out of nowhere and becomes a straight out slasher with a mini massacre in the middle of the movie.

It will confuse fans of the franchise (it's a remake that is nothing like the original so of course it will piss fans off) and non fines will just wonder what the hype was cause this is just a slasher. However as a fan I still liked it and I do recommend it especially when the film finally kicks it as it is a hilarious bloody slasher with characters that are all assholes but eventually the main cast will grow on you.(plus a cool cameo by Matthias Hues and a bartender called Cuddly Bear would have been played by great by Michael Clarke Duncan were he still alive). Also without giving a spoiler , you know how classic slasher flicks always have one person die by mistake and not by the killers hands.... weeelll.. wait for that scene cause you will know it when it happens and I fucking dare you not to laugh out loud at that characters expense. Honestly the worst characters are the cops, I did not enjoy Barbara Crampton which is disappointing, the main detective was worse though. If you go into it knowing the puppets are cameos and if you dont know them prior just assume you are not supposed to. Those that thought this was not any fun.. they are wrong. Sadly it is no Puppet Master 3 with its fantasy elements, but nothing ever will be folks. Nice little homage to the original theme song in the credits though.

Littlest Reich is just a major slasher flick, feels like Hatchet meets Puppets ... seriously people nothing will ever be Puppet Master 3. So I will stop rambling now and say watch it. Its waaay better than 50% of the puppet master movies .. not that thats hard. But hey it is better than Happy Time murders... if you say its not you can go fuck yourself with a Tunneler puppet.

#puppet master #remake #horror #bad movies #4 life #riot #better than i was told

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robininthelabyrinth · 6 years

Note

"New writer ask meme: based on my body of work, what’s something you’d like to see me try to write?" like. you wrote a story within a /menu/ so you can take this as a prompt or just respond but. if you can make a menu compelling, what about something else. like a professor binn's history lecture, swapping in for the teacher and subject of your choice, but something where the students have fallen asleep five minutes in but there's a compelling story under the surface. idk if it's possible, (cont)

re: the hist lecture thnx for letting me know tumblr didn’t send it! can’t remember xactly what was in each ½ of the ask but short version: if any1 can make a dry lecture (note: not just any lecture, but a boring one), abt history or other, compelling, it’d be u. just as people say that x celeb reading the phone book could be cool, I feel the same could be true for u, which brings me to thing I’d like to see u write 2: a phone book story. idk how the flip it would work but it’d be interesting

————————————————————————————————

I think that my Makers of History fic might fulfill your first craving - it’s not boring, but it’s written in the style of a history textbook :)

That being said, your SECOND prompt irresistibly caught my eye.

It’s not a phone book, but I hope you still enjoy!

Fic: Central City Classifieds: December 2017 Edition (direct link to Ao3)

Fandom: Flash, Arrow, Legends of TomorrowPairing: Leonard Snart/Mick Rory, suggestions of unfulfilled Mick Rory/Caitlin Snow

Summary: Central City Picture News is a respectable news organization, with serious journalism, editorials, opinion columns, sports coverage, arts review, and international news.

So why does everyone keep reading the classifieds?

(Answer: because they’re hilarious.)

———————————————————————————————–

CENTRAL CITY CLASSIFIEDS - December 2017

New Business Opening:Super Tailoring: For All Your Superhero or Supervillain NeedsAsk for ~Leo~–New Business Opening:Supersuit Construction Corp.Super-suits for Superheroes, Supervillains, and More!Theme-appropriate nicknames included!Ask for C. RamonOur Motto: “We make proper supersuits here – our competitors should just go back to their stupid earth where the bad guys need suspenders to hold their outfits together.”–New Business Opening:Super-RepairsWe Fix Mistakes In Science Done By Supersuit Construction Corp.Ask for Harry W.–Announcement:All creditors to whom Harrison Wells owed money, please come to STAR Labs for a pleasant surprise. Ask for C. Ramon; he’ll direct you to the right place.–New Business Opening:TherapyVery Reasonable Prices – Sliding Scale AvailableFree to Superheroes and SupervillainsPLEASE YOU SHOULD ALL GO GET THERAPY RIGHT NOWAsk for ~Leo~

–Announcement:39 Surprisingly High-End Possibly-From-The-Future Toasters for Sale. No returns.Ask for B. Allen.–For sale, goods:One Cold Gun, barely used. Must go to good home. Must agree to take angst, hallucinations, budding drinking problem, and mourning of 30 years of partnership and marriage with you.–New Business Announcement:John Constantine – Exorcist, Demonologist and Master of the Dark ArtsIn Town for a Limited Time Only!–Wanted:Better security system capable of removing unwanted stowaways from advanced-future time ship. Call and ask for Sara.–Wanted:Any security system. At all. Please. Villains just walk in all the time.Call STAR Labs.–New Business Opening:Legendary Security ServicesBe Protected By the Legends of Tomorrow(no warranties apply, please ensure you have appropriate insurance before hiring)–Job Opening:Legendary Security ServicesSeeking Security Consultant – Superhero Experience WelcomeMust have Zambezi Totem To ApplyAsk for A. Jiwe and Z. Tomaz.All Time Periods Welcome.–Wanted:Any OTHER security system.Call STAR Labs.–New Business Opening:Colorful Light Show & Anger Management TherapyProcess Your Emotions, See Beautiful ColorsAsk for R. G. Biv.–Job Opening:Individual with meta powers wanted for long-term scheme against the Flash.Applications can be left by the statue of the Thinker in Central City Art Museum.–Announcement:Are you fucking kidding me?? Does that actually work?? – B. Allen.–Job Opening:New Mentor Figure. Must Not Be Evil.Harrison Wells doppleganger preferred.No individuals named Eobard need apply.Stringent interview process being implemented.Applications can be sent to STAR Labs. Honestly, just walk in, there’s no security system.–New Business Opening:Outdoor Wedding ServicesPlanning Your Outdoor Wedding? Worried About the Weather?Don’t Be!Call M. Mardon To Ensure Your Perfect Day!(Also available to ruin your exes’ wedding, but it costs extra.)–New Business Opening:Welcome to The FLASH Museum!Learn all about your favorite local Supehero in intimate, behind-the-scenes detail!Call: the H.R. Wells Estate.–Cease and Desist Order Lawsuit Filed Against the Flash Museum. C/O the Flash, STAR Labs.–While I’m at it, Cease and Desist Order Filed Against Local “Team Flashers” Club. It’s not funny! C/O the Flash, STAR Labs.–Wanted:Someone capable of making puppets in a wide variety of shapes and sizes.Preferably soft and capable of resisting impact; designed to be used in therapy sessions.Ask for ~Leo~–For sale, goods:Slutty clothing, barely used. Very reasonable price, just need to get rid of it.Ask for Snow at Star Labs.–For sale, goods:All clothing in my closet. Basically free. Need to get rid of it in revenge.Ask for Frost at Star Labs.–For sale, services:All the ice you could possibly want, no need for ice machine.Ask for Frost at Star Labs. Say that Snow sent you.–For sale, services:Under-the-table medical care. Reasonable prices.Feel free to report to the local medical licensing board afterwards if dissatisfied.Ask for Snow at Star Labs. Say that Frost sent you.–Announcement:Local man with flamethrower seeking attractive girl with ice powers for NSA good time while he is in the present location/time. Willing to annoy additional personality for free.–Announcement:Nice try. No.– Snow and Frost–Business Announcement:Therapy – now offering relationship and family counsellingAlso lessons in pre-planning, emotional openness, and honest communicationAsk for ~Leo~–New Business Opening:Ever wanted to swim with the sharks, but afraid or unwilling to pay for travel? Never fear!Swimming Lessons with King SharkReasonable prices.Call ARGUS for additional details.–Wanted:Secret room for plotting and/or emotional processing of grief. No spying devices allowed.If you have any locations, call John Constantine, Leo Snart, or Mick Rory.Payment available only in Earth-X cash, since the other two are broke.–Announcement:Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak are pleased to announce that they will be wed in a ceremony on the Star City Central Green at the end of this week.–Announcement:Another one?! Didn’t you two get married ALREADY?A Totally Not Bitter Central City Picture News Journalist–Announcement:Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak are pleased to announce that they will be renewing their vows at the end of this week, this time before a rabbi and their friends.–Announcement:You didn’t have a rabbi the FIRST time?Noah Kutler & Donna Smoak–Announcement:What the hell are you two doing filing a joint newspaper announcement???Felicity Smoak–Announcement:Answer us about the rabbi question.Noah Kutler & Donna Smoak–Announcement:They would’ve been able to use the rabbi we used at my wedding, but they got him killed.Frost–Announcement:That was MY wedding, not yours!Snow–Announcement:Best wishes to Felicity Smoak and Oliver Queen on their upcoming vow renewal.We’re sorry for accidentally setting your entire extended family on you.Team Flash–Announcement:Did you REALLY re-gift us the espresso machine we gave you??Oliver Queen–Announcement:It was on your registry in exactly the same way it was on ours.Iris West.–Wanted:Someone willing to obtain a list of ingredients, some very esoteric, without asking too many questions as to why. Speed of the essence – need to get all the ingredients before the next full moon.Call John Constantine, Leo Snart, or Mick Rory.–Wanted:An army willing to destroy the world and worship at the feet of GRODD.No need to apply. Just think the name of GRODD and we will come for you.–For Sale:Telepathy-Resistant Emergency Evacuation Devices, available to help you resist Grodd’s mind control long enough to escape. The newest fashion statement. Also, basically free.Available at STAR Labs.–Job Opening:Qualified therapists with an advanced understanding of ethics, client confidentiality, and self-defense. As many as possible. At once. This is so much worse than I could have possibly believed.Ask for ~Leo~–New Business Opening:Freaky Supervillain Carnival(Totally NOT a set up trap for the Flash)Come see the Dangerous MIRROR MAZE! The magnificent, nauseating WHIRLYGIG!Job opening available for a clown, preferably with teeth, to keep away certain unwanted old acquaintances.Call S. Scudder and R. Dillon.–Wanted:Surveillance method capable of keeping an eye on three grown men with the capabilities of John Constantine, Leo Snart, and Mick Rory (included for comparison).Something’s up, and Gideon’s not sharing.Must be compatible with 25th century technology.–For sale, goods:Exploding dreidels, for a ridiculously deadly Hannukah prank!Totally not the CCPD trying to trap the Trickster again.Entirely by coincidence, please call the CCPD if you’re interested.–Wanted:Young black men who for a variety of flimsy reasons are no longer currently engaged in active super-heroing except in awesome but sadly brief cameos.We’re making our own club over in Keystone.Call c/o W. West and J. Jackson.–Wanted:Bounty Hunter capable of tracking and eliminating that pesky C. Ramon for having made a crude comment at my precious and perfect daughter.Call Josh (Breacher) on Earth-19–Wanted:Bodyguard capable of protecting me from a crazy overprotective asshole dad who can’t accept the fact that we’re ALREADY SLEEPING TOGETHER.Female bodyguard capable of extreme badassery preferred.Call C. Ramon on Earth-1–Announcement:I, Josh, hereby apologize to my adult daughter for having sought to control her sexuality in such an inappropriate manner. She is free to date whomever she wishes and progress in her relationship at her own chosen speed.Please call off your Amazons.–Business Name Change:Legendary Security Services will now be known as Legendary Amazon Security.Because we’re just that awesome.A. Jiwe, Z. Tomaz, K. Saunders–Police Announcement:Will anyone with any knowledge of what caused that giant blue-green explosion in STAR Labs please call the CCPD immediately? Ask to speak with Detective West.–Retraction:Cold gun no longer available for sale following explosive retrieval process.Bill for all property damage may be directed c/o John Constantine.–Announcement:We are sad to announce that John Constantine has passed away.Please send any bills for property damage care of Zatana.–Announcement:John Constantine is not actually dead. He’s just hiding away on the Waverider again.Personal note: John, if I get one more bill, I’m coming for your balls.Zatanna–Retraction:The reports of John Constantine’s death are greatly exaggerated.We apologize for the inconvenience.He is, however, unavailable to accept any bills.–New Business Opening:Magic Tricks by Abra KadabraMention Harry Potter One More Time And I Will Break My Parole And Kill You All–Invitation:The Epic Len and Leo Welcome Back/Going Away PartyAll Welcome – Bring Presents(Puns preferred)–For sale, goods:One freaky supervillain carnival set up, barely used. Very reasonable price.Have to leave town ASAP because there are now TWO Snarts and that’s two too many.Call S. Scudder and R. Dillon.–Wanted:Seeds for Golden Delicious Apples, Golden Berries, and Golden Corn.Please send to Gotham City, c/o Lisa Snart.–Announcement:Lisa, why are you in Gotham? And what’s with all the plants???With love,Your Concerned Friends and Family

#dccoldwave #mick rory #leonard snart #barry allen #iris west #oliver queen #felicity smoak #john constantine #many others #my fic #Anonymous

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portfolio- · 7 years

Text

Thoughts about Ruler: Master of the Mask, Part 1

If you’ve been following me for a while now, you will notice how loyal I am to the television series that I watch. I loved Descendants of the Sun even if it took time for me to warm up to Song Hye Kyo. I loved Goblin despite all talk about pedophilia and shit. I love Chicago Typewriter for many reasons I am yet to talk about despite the series being underrated. And now I have a new baby to defend – Ruler: Master of the Mask. Even with all the talk about wasted talent and injustice to Kim So Hyun’s talent, I am more likely to see the end of it (with Seven Day Queen on the side, but that’s for another entry).

Let’s start from Yoo Seung Ho. From the moment he appeared on my screen, I knew I was going to love him/his character. Being the central character of the show, it was a given that he would have the most progressive character development. He is a sheltered, idealistic, and kind-hearted boy who was slapped by reality in the face upon the revelation of his father’s ambition. He is a victim of his fate, and while he stumbles, he eventually finds the light at the end of the tunnel. He identifies his ultimate goal, and has learned to decipher his way into the mess brought about by his birthright. The problem with him is his noble idiocy and his tendency to blame himself for something he had no control of. He fell on his own sword because he was pushed into it out of someone else’s selfishness. Because of this, the former manifested, and we were down to the push-and-pull of his relationship with his lady love.

Thoughts so far: I am still pissed at his character (by a bit), but I admit I melted because of the most recent episode. How could I not? YSH is the powerhouse of this show. He knows how to live his character. He acts the conflicts as if it were his own. And because the ball is now on his court, I am curious as to how he will break the truth into Ga Eun. I want him to tell her, and I want her to be resentful of him face to face. I want them to face this obstacle head on, otherwise their separation would be senseless imo. I am already amazed by his ability as a leader, and I am excited to see how the dots will connect for him.

Kim So Hyun. In truth, it was actually my first time to watch a series with her as the main lead (sue me), but I like watching her cameo/side character roles. As Ga Eun, she may appear boring because she is almost saint-like. I digress. Ga Eun is the type to look after others first. People could have forgotten that she had to be a leader of her father’s – and now her – people so they could survive after being kicked out of their homes earlier in the drama. There was nothing productive to do with her father dead and her life in a standstill. She knew where her priorities should lie, as evidenced by her choosing the people over “Chun Soo”, but through it all he was at the back of her mind. Everything about her is very maternal. (She kind of reminds me of Boon Yi from Six Flying Dragons). In terms of character trajectory, Ga Eun is more of an underdeveloped character at this point. The recent episode felt like a pick-me-up for her so that she could catch up with the others. The path now opens for her, but with “Chun Soo” back in her life, she had a difficult choice to make.

Thoughts so far: I love Ga Eun, period. Really. I like watching her and the PDs did a piss poor job in the past few episodes. They did disservice to her character. I want to say that they wasted her, but then with the Queen involving her, I have high hopes that the ruckus will be insane. Also, KSH makes her animated, and she could easily steal the show should she be given the opportunity. I also love her chemistry with YSH!!! COME ON FIGHT ME!! Maybe it’s because they’ve been doing this for a very long time, but they know how to build the atmosphere required of them. Ahh, my poor babies. I hope their reconciliation and their story would be given justice.

As for Kim Myung Soo, wow. I didn’t expect I’d root for him, much less like him. Peasant turned pupper prince suited him. I haven’t watched any of his shows, nor am I a fan of Infinite (However, there’s Hoya from Reply 1997!) He was a boy born out of luck, who happened to befriend the Crown Prince. His transition from a strong-willed, recklessly brave boy to a restricted and near hopeless man could be seen by how he carried himself as the puppet king – stooped, sickly, and enslaved to a throne that wasn’t his. He was one character who held on his innocence even if Pyunsoo Group manipulated from almost all angles.

Thoughts so far: I was quite relieved that the Queen Dowager has gotten into him. He was that one character I am conflicted on whether he would go evil or not. I want him not to. I want him to preserve his humanity for his sister (who I adore a lot) and his mother. I want him to remain loyal to the real owner of the throne. For a moment, like I’ve said, I actually rooted for him as Ga Eun’s end game, because of how pure his intentions are. He remains, imo, good through it all. I actually fear that he would die at the end, but then I have to brave the storm should it happen.

Yoon So Hee. Daughter and possible heiress of the villain of the story. I didn’t like her from the start, because her actions caused every hardship that took place in the lives of the characters. I would commend the writers for making her very Slytherin (but they’re selling her or the actress too much it’s unfair for the main female lead? Why?) In terms of character development, I would say that her selflessness is an act of selfishness, and that never sat well with me. I do pity her for pining after the Crown Prince, but I don’t think I could forgive her for causing all the deaths (and subsequently, the grievances) that haunt our main leads.

Thoughts so far: The character made me hate her a lot, so I guess Yoon So Hee is an effective antagonist. However, she doesn’t exude the same threatening aura as the man playing his grandfather. She felt more tired when she’s becoming angry. I really couldn’t say much because I would probably say something not nice (shakes fist again to Ruler PD-nims!!)

So, that’s it for now? I still have a lot of idea digesting right now, and will hopefully write about them soon.

#ruler master of the mask #yoo seung ho #kim so hyun #kim myung soo #yoon so hee #lee sun #han ga eun #chun soo #kim hwa goon

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gokinjeespot · 5 years

Text

off the rack #1275

Monday, August 19, 2019

It was so hot and humid outside just now when I went to get the newspaper (yes, we still have it delivered) that it felt like I was walking into a sauna. I hope it rains to cut the humidity down. We certainly need the water as our gardens are wilting. It's been so dry that there's a burn ban in effect. I couldn't make a fire in the fire pit up at the cottage, much to my disappointment. The pleasure of sitting around a fire must be a primitive thing hard wired since we first were able to make fire.

Detective Comics #1009 – Peter J. Tomasi (writer) Christian Duce (art) Luis Guerrero (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). A new story starts here and it's a doozy. Deadshot is the bad guy and he might have been contracted to kill Bruce Wayne. The next issue can't hit the racks fast enough for me.

Event Leviathan #2 – Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Alex Maleev (art) Josh Reed (letters). I'm late to this because I had to wait on reorders. I think the identity of who Leviathan is gets revealed this issue. I'm glad it didn't take the team of the world's greatest detectives too long to figure it out.

Event Leviathan #3 – Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Alex Maleev (art) Josh Reed (letters). Psyche! Leviathan isn't who the detectives suspected it was last issue. It's still a mystery and the real deal does show up this issue. You may recall that Amanda Waller has been MIA, well not anymore. She's a big part of this thing. This story has fans talking and that's always fun.

The Amazing Spider-Man #27 – Nick Spencer (writer) Kev Walker (pencils) John Dell (inks) Laura Martin (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). The new Syndicate has been hired to capture Boomerang and Spidey is forced to help his roommate Fred/Boomerang. Things don't turn out so well for the good guys. The last page has a shocking surprise that harkens back to the good old days of Stan Lee.

Powers of X #2 – Jonathan Hickman (writer) R.B. Silva (art) R.B. Silva & Adriano Di Benedetto (inks) Marte Gracia (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). The X in the title also represents the Roman numeral for ten. The scope of this issue is huge. We go from year zero of the X-Men to year 1000 as the mutants try to find a way to survive. There's not a lot of action but a heck of a lot of planning and strategising. I think our patience will be rewarded when Jonathan Hickman starts cooking with gas.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #10 – Tom Taylor (writer) Ken Lashley (art pages 1 – 14, thumbnails pages 15 – 17) Scott Hanna (inks pages 15 – 17) Luca Maresca (art pages 18 – 20) Nolan Woodard (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). The team-up with Hobie Brown, the good guy Prowler, ends with a cameo from Iron Man. I like bad guy makes good stories.

Catwoman #14 – Ram V (writer) Mirka Andolfo (art) Arif Prianto (colours) Saida Temofonte (letters). Hermosa Heat part 1. It's a new story with a new writer. There's a bounty on Catwoman and she going to find out who put it out there. I'm not a fan of the new cut-outs on her cat suit. I think it's just to show more titillating skin for the fanboys and that's creepy. The panels with the side boobs is what makes me think that.

Ironheart #9 – Eve L. Ewing (writer) Luciano Vecchio (art) Geoffo (layouts) Matt Milla (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Riri goes to Wakanda in search of the mystical Wellspring of Power. She and Shuri meet for the first time and the young women's personalities clash like oil and water. Fortunately, a crisis bonds them later. A new character joins the story on the last page and she's related to someone that Ironheart fought against back in Chicago. I want to learn more about Silhouette.

Silver Surfer Black #3 – Donny Cates (writer) Tradd Moore (art) Dave Stewart (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). The planet Ego helps Norrin Radd to recover from his battle with Knull and it's a good thing because then the Silver Surfer can return the favour and cure Ego of a type of cancer. The surprise is what's causing the cancer. This weird story just got a lot weirder.

Loki #2 – Daniel Kibblesmith (writer) Oscar Bazaldua (art) David Curiel (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Loki visits Tony Stark to ask to join the Avengers. 'Tis to laugh, as they say. This issue ends in a most unlikely place and I can't wait to find out what happens next.

Miles Morales: Spider-Man #9 – Saladin Ahmed (writer) Javier Garron (art) David Curiel (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Is it time for Miles to be rescued from his kidnappers? Yes it is. His dad Jeff and his uncle Aaron team up to save Miles. Aaron getting a new Prowler suit might mean trouble in the future. I wonder how long Miles's mysterious kidnappers are going to stay a mystery?

Batman Universe #2 – Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Nick Derington (art) Dave Stewart (colours) Josh Reed (letters). I think Brian Bendis is using this book to play with all the heroes and villains in the DCU. Batman teams up with Green Arrow briefly and goes to Gorilla City. By the end of the issue he's on another planet and I don't know if the Thanagarians are going to welcome him nicely or not. Oh, and we find out who the big bad is. I groaned.

Punisher Kill Krew #1 – Gerry Duggan (writer) Juan Ferreyra (art) VC's Cory Petit (letters). This is what I love about comic books. You can tell whatever far fetched story you want and have it beautifully illustrated. This is a spin off from War of the Realms where Frank Castle continues his war hunting down a frost giant named Kasyckla. But how is he supposed to get to Jotunheim? Wouldja believe via chariot pulled by one of Thor's goats? I wonder who is going to be in his Krew?

Once & Future #1 – Kieron Gillen (writer) Dan Mora (art) Tamra Bonvillain (colours) Ed Dukeshire (letters). I don't know why people are speculating on this book but it seems to be the hot buy of the week. This new 6-issue mini is a twist on the Arthurian legend with it not being clear whether Arthur is a good guy or a bad guy. There's a group of people wanting to resurrect the dead king to make Britain great again. This faction will kill to get their way. Duncan gets roped by his grandmother Bridgette into stopping this group of bad guys. I like the feisty Bridgette so I will keep reading this to see what else she and Duncan get up to. It's jolly good fun.

Gwenpool Strikes Back #1 – Leah Williams (writer) David Baldeon (art) Jesus Aburtov (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). I never got into this fourth wall breaking comic book character before but I read a story that she was in recently and liked how fun she was. This issue is a great introduction to this whacky character and you needn't have read any of her previous appearances to get what's going on. You will get an extra kick out of Gwenpool if you're a dyed in the wool Marvel Maniac like me though. The rest of this 5-issue mini is going on to my “must read” list.

Age of Conan Valeria #1 – Meredith Finch (writer) Aneke (art) Andy Troy (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). I was not impressed with Age of Conan Bêlit because I liked the book version of Bêlit more than the comic book version. Valeria is another matter however. She fought alongside Conan in “Red Nails” my all time favourite Conan comic book story. The way Barry Smith drew her made me fall in love with her. This origin story has Valeria hunting down her brother's killer and even though she looks like Betty Cooper with a sword, I like this enough to find out if she succeeds in her quest.

Silver Surfer The Prodigal Son #1 – Peter David (writer) Francesco Manna (art) Espen Grundetjern (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Now that the Fantastic Four have gotten him off Earth, Prah'd'ghul's adventures take him into space. Where there's space, there glides the Silver Surfer. This story flashes back to when the Silver Surfer was the herald of Galactus. In this issue he's just an Uber for Prah'd'ghul.

Fantastic Four #13 – Dan Slott (writer) Sean Izaakse (art) Marcio Menyz (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). The conclusion of the Thing versus the Hulk fight. I won't tell you who the winner is but I will tell you that the biggest loser is the Puppet Master. You won't like him when he's angry, and the Puppet Master made the Hulk extremely angry.

Conan the Barbarian Exodus #1 – Esad Ribic (writer & art) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). This was an easy job for VC's Travis Lanham. There are no captions or dialogue other than a few Hyborian Age word balloons. This is the story of a young Conan wandering the land and surviving against man and beast. It won't take long to “read” but I spent a lot of time just taking in the beautiful artistry. Any time Esad Ribic draws a comic book it's worth picking up.

Doctor Strange #17 – Mark Waid (writer) Barry Kitson (pencils) Scott Koblish (inks) Brian Reber (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Herald Supreme part 6 is the conclusion to Stephen Strange's adventure with Galactus. This is a classic “deal with the devil” story when Mephisto enters the picture. Oh my god what a corny ending. Mark Waid also writes History of the Marvel Universe and he includes the whole thing right here. I did not finish the first issue of that chronicle and I am taking this opportunity to stop reading this title as well just because it got too maudlin.

Symbiote Spider-Man #5 – Peter David (writer) Greg Land (pencils) Jay Leisten (inks) Frank D'Armata (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). Here's another weak ending. There was never a doubt that Spider-Man and the Black Cat would win against Mysterio but boy was it ever done in a mundane way. I will think twice about reading this title the next time this book hits the racks.

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tube-thoughts-blog · 6 years

Text

tube thoughts vol. 6

zero stars - terrible, 1/2 a star - dull, 1 star - folly, 1 1/2 stars - lacking, 2 stars - fair, 2 1/2 stars - decent, 3 stars - terrific

Joe Bob's SummerSchool edition of Monstervision with special guests a blonde Bride of Frankenstein and a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon plus the feature movie "The Surgeon" *The striking black and white intro flashback throws light on what this flick really is. It's a tribute to those 30s/40s/50s mad doctor horror shows, with quirky 1990s sensibilities laced throughout.* 2 1/2 stars

Everything is Terrible: Summer Fun --------------

*Psalty: Dramatic kids hang out with a blue, scripture talking song book.* 2 stars

*Bike Safety Rap: Don't skin your knees or risk your life.* 1 star

*Central Florida Hell: Dump elderly dad down where Chi Chi Rodriguez dwells.* 2 1/2 stars

*2 Minute Boat Trip: Goober Pudding Jr. is not a COCKSUCKER! Horatio Sanz... who knows?* 2 stars

*3 Minute Heavy Metal Summer: Shock rockers, with a heart of gold, versus yuppy prejudice and slimeball business types at a camp/resort.* 3 stars

*Acting with Tom Hanks: Swimsuit models wanna make their silly dreams come true.* 2 stars

*Conceal and Carry: Speed, women, fanny pack!* 3 stars

*Kidz Conquer Mexico: Another culture exploited by brats.* 2 1/2 stars

*Message in a Cell Phone: Crack the code and get Chad's dad out of prison.* 3 stars

*Birthdays Faith First: Father Tim loves his birthday and Uncle Sam.* 2 1/2 stars

*2 Minute Beach Fever: Kato Kaelin and Jacki Chan enjoy the fruits of rabor.* 2 1/2 stars

======================================================

I'm Alan Partridge: I Know What Alan Did Last Summer *Dodging the tax man.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"The Day After" --1983-- *"World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones."* 3 stars

The Twilight Zone: The Midnight Sun *Fever dream.* 3 stars

Heart She Holler: Klansgender Rights *We're all the same underneath a clean, white sheet.* 2 stars

Squidbillies: Granny Hot Foot *Happier than a pig, in shit, who just won the Daytona 500.* 2 1/2 stars

Adult Swim --infomercials-- In Search of the Miracle Man *Interviewing people on the street about their love for a yet to be seen super guru and asking them how often they masturbate, plus keeping a close watch on a sunbathing beauty, in case the guru shows up there. Add in a sing along, act unfunny along, self aware studio audience for even less laughs. A guy from Mighty Boosh and Snuff Box (Rich Fulcher) and a guy from Upright Citizens Brigade and Crossballs (Matt Besser), along with another recognizable face from the Sarah Silverman Show, can all do better and funnier in 12 minutes. Drunk History for example.* 1 star

Freddy's Nightmares: Rebel Without A Car -----

*A mullet-motor-head thinks a cursed muscle-car is his ticket out of Springwood, but maybe he should have taken his girl's advice and sought a smarter path.* 2 1/2 stars

*A girl, from the wrong side of the tracks, gets accepted to be a Cinderella slave for snobbish sorrority sisters, during hellish hazing, where they hope to put her on the road.Instead, she turns Carrie, on the cunts, and burns the house to the ground.* 2 1/2 stars

------------------------

Swamp Thing: Falco *"Nature is a maniac!" That's pretty existential for a falcon unwillingly turned half human by the arrogant Arcane. Overly dramatic and unintentionally funny.* 3 stars

Jonny Quest: Treasure of the Temple *Masterfully animated Mayan adventure.* 3 stars

Kolchak, the Night Stalker: The Night Strangler *Gritty Civil War era alchemy, and a Victorian Era style Jack the Ripper killer, in the dark alleys and underground of a Pacific Northwest seaport town.* 3 stars

12:01 Beyond --Halloween special-- -2014- =====================

*The Victim's Family - Have A Nice Day (music video): Skeletal puppets kick your face in and tell you to enjoy your shitty job and life.* close to 3 stars

*Fulfilled, A Halloween Story: A modern Lovecraftian tragic figure refuses to join in on the pop culture / commercial celebrations of Halloween and instead chooses to spend All Hallow's Eve, and possibly eternity, in the Twilight Zone.* close to 3 stars

*Trailer for Dario Argento's "Creepers": 3 stars

*Vintage WXXA cHANNEL 23 - Halloween movie marathon commercial for their movie lineup including 'An American Werewolf in London', 'House', 'Videodrome', 'Psycho 3': 3 stars

*"Horror of the Zombies" 1973: A millionaire, a money hungry mercenary type, and an agency of modeling get involved in a publicity stunt that would leave some models stranded in a boat on the sea. However, they all wind up in some interdimensional fog and end up boarding a ghost-ship where the blind monks of Mestophilles roam.* 2 stars

*Monster Rally Movie: Advertisement for an old horror host Channel 4 show.* 3 stars

*Pumpkin Madness 2: Ordinary pumpkins let loose destructive behavior.* 2 1/2 stars

*Animation in the style of Superjail or the video for Paranoid Android by Mariola Brillowska.* 3 stars

*Phantasm's 'The Tall Man' promotes Fangoria magazine.* 2 1/2 stars

*Fleishcher Studios- Superman - The Mummy Strikes.* 3 stars

*A Republic Pictures serial - The Crimson Ghost - Atomic Peril: A criminal mastermimd is so determined to get his hands on a device that will bring the world's electrical will to its knees, that he's willing to prevent its use in bringing the Cold War to a close.* 2 1/2 stars

*Fight the monster of pay and or cable tv in an awesome retro anti-cable tv advertisement shown to a paying movie theater audience.* 3 stars

======================================================

Star Wars Rebels: Rise of the Old Masters *A Sith inquisitor lures roam Jedi to their doom, using the bones of a Jedi Master.the Empire is putting out false distress signals saying that the master is alive and in need of a prison escape rescue.* 3 stars

TMNT: The Croaking *After watching Thundarr the Barbarian, Mikey spazzes out and destroys the farmhouse. When scolded, flees to the forest where he encounters Napoleon Bonafrog (voiced by Napoleon Dynamite) who happens to be the outcast of his own tree-frog human-hating society.* 3 stars

Everything is Terrible --Halloween Bonus-- --2012-- =========================

*Cosby Nightmarez: Bill takes a break from drugging women to have his own bad dream.* 3 stars

*Tim Curry Halloween Song: A crooning wizard makes the witches howl.* 3 stars

*Vincent Price: An elderly icon shills 3D film cameras.* 2 stars

*3 Minute Grandpa is a Vampire: Grandpa Munster hangs out with his radical 90s grandson and his grandson's friend while grandma tries to cheat on him and put a stake thru his old heart.* 2 1/2 stars

*Boogie Bonez: "Knick Knack Paddywhack"* 3 stars

*Death Spa: Don't let an exorcist hacker control your electronic gym, if you're a cheating ex and give memberships to jerk yuppies.* 3 stars

*Halloween Propaganda: "Every Halloween, children are dying."* 3 stars

*Lovely Little Monster: Anne Rice chick hip hop. Dance routine sign language. Rick James voodoo zombie. Bathsalt freakout Twilight romance.* 3 stars

*Pops Ghostly: A Casper family man vents on his family's hellcat home invasion frustration.* 2 1/2 stars

*Punkinman: The Bob Villa (this old house) / Bob Ross (happy clouds painter) of stickin' it in a pumpkin and getting the best out.* 2 1/2 stars

*Zombie Workout: Spunky Linnea Quigley criticizes the falling apart shape of the undead and has them working out their rotten flesh.* close to 3 stars

*3 Minute Ghosthouse: A Back to the Future Michael J. Fox wannabe look-a-like goes up against some zany frighteners.* 3 stars

======================================================================

Z Nation: Doctor of the Dead *Not much soap opera for a zombie series finale, mostly just zombie stuff. A shadowy scientist running around globally, pre zombie outbreak, conducting gruesome, and unknown for purposes, field experiments. Creepy CDC style medical lab, in Colorado, filled with zombie testing gone wrong. Tiny Asian chick is dying but comes back as a kung fu z with Alice from Resident Evil maneuvers (not a big fan of that). Cameo from the doomed lovers to show they'll be back next season (Oh, great... yawn). And a big finish cliffhanger with Murphy "shedding his skin" (could be creepy and great) and running off leaving everyone else, including Citizen Z at the North Pole, to stare dumbly at their impending demise which is nuclear missiles dropping in to say hi.* 3 stars

Scare Tactics -season 2 -episode 14 "My Guests Are Mannequins" ---------------

*Antonio, Tone Loc's cousin, volunteers to help park rangers clean the roadkill off of a bridge that a Chupacabra lives under.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

*A 'You Betcha' cocktail waitress serves cheeze and ritz crackers to a honky's stuffy mannequin party guests and is scared to refuse his offer to "Party Forever" with him.* 3 stars

*A crematorium trainee turns white as a ghost, and he was black to begin with, when he flips the flame switch and a woman's husband pops out still alive just crispy.* 3 stars

==============================================================

X Files: Conduit *Alien abductee or possible runaway of ill-refute and her baby brother who can read into the matrix.* 2 1/2 stars

Sam Raimi presents American Gothic: Pilot Episode *What if Sheriff Andy Taylor were a controlling psycho who'd go as far as framing his own deputy, Barney, for murder, and what if Opie had a William Faulkner and Ambrose Bierce childhood...?* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: "The Wraith" (Summer School Session - Driver's Education with the author of the NYC cab driver joke book) *It was inevitable that the spirit of the American Highway would be symbolized by a fiery car crash.* 3 stars

The Outer Limits: Caught in the Act *A college virgin, Alyssa Milano, gives the worst case of blue balls, until an alien parasite turns her into a raging nympho succubus.* 2 stars slipping towards 1 1/2 stars

Paranormal State -season 1 -episode 11 *A nice, retired, Queens NY lady needed the Penn State crew and a noted medium, in demons, to tell her to stop trying to contact the dead through the use of evp.* 2 stars

Bob and Margaret: The Burglary *The couple get a little too greedy, themselves, after their old stuff gets stolen and they have to replace it with all new stuff.* 3 stars

The Prisoner: A, B, and C *Number 6 continues to be defiant, even in his dreams. Dreams that The Village is now determined to surveillance.* 3 stars

Mike Tyson Mysteries: Is Magic Real? *Mike is the only non skeptic concerning Mexican leprechauns.* 3 stars

Town of the Living Dead: Dong of the Dead *Two words... butt auditions.* 3 stars

Ken Russell's "Crimes of Passion" *It's sleazy Charles Bukowski meets Russ Meyer. Kathleen Turner is a Gloria Steinem behind a glory hole. Anthony Perkins is like a Jerry Falwell who jerks off to crime scene photos of the Black Dahlia. And John Laughlin is Tim 'The Tool Man' Taylor who can't get his jackhammer plugged into a hot electrical outlet.* 3 stars

Hill Street Blues: Can World War 3 Be An Attitude? *"You're okay. I'm okay. We're okay. Okay?"* 3 stars

Max Headroom: Security Systems *A way ahead of its time investigative look at security organizations (*cough* the N.S.A. *cough*) and how complete access to so much information, personal and otherwise, can only lead to that kind of knowledge being abusively used.* 3 stars

South Park: Cock Magic *Magic the Gathering greater than girls volleyball.* 3 stars

American Horror Story -Freakshow- "Bloodbath" *From the head to the legs. From the body to the mind.* 2 stars

Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: "The Time Machine" 1960 *Joe Bob and Rusty the mail girl demonstrate worm hole theory using a dirty bedsheet and a bowling ball. Meanwhile, Rod Taylor zips from turn of the 20th century England to thousands of years in the future where angelic, naive youth live in a garden of eden paradise as cattle for cavern dwelling commie cannibals.* 3 stars

Farscape: Til the Blood Runs Clear *Being the 'big dog' with a pair of Beavis & Butthead moron bloodhound bounty hunters, and getting ripped off at a spacecraft repair shop ran by a Roseanne type.* 3 stars

Thundarr, the Barbarian: Wizard Wars *The cybernetic oversized head of a warlock Fred Flinstone uses hypnotized sandpeople as slaves to lay siege on another magician's desert stronghold.* 3 stars

Tosh.0 -Who Shot Black Santa? -2014 *The greatest Christmas present is hot cocoa served with love.* 2 1/2 stars

SyFy presents "End of the World" 2014 *Generic doomsday movie junkies, who work at a videostore, must break a scientist (Brad Dourif) out of the nuthouse so that he can help them save the world from being destroyed by a heliosphere.* 1 1/2 stars for aesthetics and special fx 2 stars for plot and characters and 2 1/2 stars for oddly humorous moments like hicks with guns getting in the way of nerds that are mankind's only hope, and randomly timed deaths

Tru Tv presents: World's Smartest Inventions 11 *Using robots for end of life care. No shame in hanging from a tree, on a hiking trail, and pooping, or standing on a sidewalk and pissing out the bottom of pant legs using a tube. Or having a doctor recommend to "ice the balls" in order to conceive, so a guy runs out and invents chilled underwear.* 2 1/2 stars

Everything is Terrible --Christmas Bonus-- 2012 --------------------------

*Snowdogs vs. Chillydogs: They're basically the same movie, give or take a few minor differences.* 2 1/2 stars

*Hanukkah Homeboy: "Don't noodge me."* 2 1/2 stars

*Celebrity Guide to X-Mas: Ed Begley Jr. can't relax his environmental beliefs in order to not ruin Christmas.* 2 1/2 stars

*Dr. Christmas: Artificial tree tips for a superficial Christmas.* 2 1/2 stars

*Gerbert Christmas Wish: A muppet's melancholy holiday.* 2 1/2 stars

*Holiday Showtime: Branson, Missouri is holiday purgatory.* 3 stars

*Jingle Cats: Make a joyful noise unto the Lord.* 3 stars

*Lawrence Welk Holiday Song: From now on our troubles will be miles awayayayaya.* 2 stars

*Natural Professional Tree: Step back and check for a natural appearance.* 2 stars

*Visit with Santa: Santa Q & A with dumb kids.* 3 stars

*Brent the Christmas Bear: Marvin Gaye gaiety.* 3 stars

*Glitter n Gold: A plea for puppet peace and relationship harmony.* 3 stars

*Kathy Lee Hip Hop: Horrid.* 1 star

*2 Minute Parental Guidance: Deck the halls and shake dat ass.* 3 stars

*Reggae Deck the Halls: Farmyard follalollalah.* 2 1/2 stars

*Santa with Muscles: Scrooge Ed Begley Jr. wants to close down the orphanage and exploit the kids as elf miners, but not if amnesiac, department store Santa Hulk Hogan has anything to say about it.* 2 1/2 stars

*X-Mas Nightmare 2012: Santa can't be asked to do the impossible, like alleviating the cynicism that comes with adulthood.* 2 1/2 stars

*Fuck Christmas: A humble shoemaker has had it up to here with the holidays, in this heartwarming tale.* 3 stars

*Chipper's X-Mas Adventure: A chipmunk goes crazy when his treehome is chopped down by joyous honkys.* 3 stars

*E.T. Porno: Smell E.T.'s finger.* 2 1/2 stars

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Freddy's Nightmares: The Bride Wore Red *A groom's cold feet get raked over hot coals. Also, rappin' Freddy.* 2 stars *For the bride with daddy issues, divorce is a fate worse than death.* 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: The Thing from the Grave *A lesson about not getting in between a no-nonsense, jealous boyfriend with a short-fuse (Miguel Ferrer) and his prized piece of cooze (Teri Garr). That is unless one has a charm necklace that can bring a vengeful corpse back from its shallow grave.* 3 stars

"Mirror Mirror" -1991- *A shy ugly duckling begins to flower when she embraces her dark reflection.* 3 stars

American Horror Story -Asylum- "I Am Anne Frank" *Auschwitz. Axe murder. Aversion therapy. Amputee monstrosity. Acceptance of guilt. Absentee motherhood. Alcoholic relapse. Alien abduction. Alma's alive!* 3 stars

Lars Von Trier's "Melancholia" *3 stars for gorgeously moody photography and score. 2 1/2 stars for symbolism (melancholia is here to stay). 2 stars for rogue planet collision apocalypse scenario. 1 1/2 stars for insufferable characters (mopey rich women). 1 star for pretentiousness 1/2 a star for snail pacing (2 hours felt like 5 hours). zero stars for jerky handheld camerwork

Gargoyles: Enter MacBeth *Another MacBeth who likes to do things on his own turf, and yet again all because of a lady.* 3 stars

Game of Thrones: -season 3 -episode 5 *"The birds have scales and the fish take wing."* 3 stars

Paranormal State: -season 1 -episode 12 *A psychic can't get her stories straight when it comes to a former schoolhouse's spirits. Credit to the Penn State crew for seeing through her b.s.* 2 stars

The Outer Limits: The Voyage Home *On the first manned mission to mars, a space bug is snagged, and one giant step for mankind turns into a suicidal leap.* 2 1/2 stars

Scare Tactics: The Chef Cooks a Human --------------

*Safe installation turns out to be a safe cracking burglary.* 2 1/2 stars

*Rear Window scenario where peeping at a neighbor who is an escort loses its thrill when she stabs an abusive client and informs her big heavy pimp that there are witnesses to the crime.* 2 1/2 stars

*Finding a ring in the hamburger meat and a bloody, armless dude in the freezer.* 3 stars

*Parents meet their teenage son's new girlfriend and find out she's already pregnant, but only it's from an alien, not the teenage son.* 2 1/2 stars

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Russell Mulcahy's "The Shadow" -1994- *Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Alec Baldwin knows.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Swamp Thing: From Beyond the Grave *"See the ship, hear it speak from deep down in the hold." Lyrics from a song sang by Jim's dead grandma. Words directing Jim, and his mom, to granny's last will and testament, hidden, in the swamp, so that Arcane can't take possession of her property and pollute and further exploit it.* 2 1/2 stars

Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital: -season 1 -episode 4 *Dream perchance debenture.* 2 1/2 stars

"Slipstream" *A loveable scoundrel (Bill Paxton) steals away a messiah-like android, from a hardline bountyhunter (Mark Hammil), on a journey across a windswept wasteland in a post-cataclysm story filled with hot air balloons, small airplanes, and eccentric nomads.* 2 1/2 stars

Christmas with Rifftrax: Santa's Village of Madness / K. Gordan Murray shorts *Never has the mythology of Saint Nick been more mucked with.* 2 1/2 stars with riffing 1 star without

Jonny Quest: Werewolf of the Timberland *Gold smuggling lumberjacks in the French Canadian forest.* 3 stars

Bob and Margaret: Shopping *"Cheese of the week." The convenient inconvenience of supermarkets.* 3 stars

I'm Alan Partridge: Alan Wide Shut *"Hot floppy bread." Needless to say, Alan had the last laugh. Now, fuck off!.* 3 stars

True Life: I Want Respect For My Sect *A Juggalo bride's parents opt out of their daughter's Juggalo themed wedding. Pretentious vampires, in the pretentious Texas city of Austin, have a coming out party in order to gain new members and understanding. A cute 18 year old "furry" seems genuinely happy to have her parents acceptance at being able to attend her first convention.* 2 stars

Ghost Adventures: Dungeons & Demons *"Something just grabbed my ass!" The three bros travel to some of the world's most tainted holes.* 2 stars

Adventure Time: Holly Jolly Secrets *Deciphering the Ice King's weirdo home movies becomes a holiday tradition.* 2 stars

Farscape: Rhapsody in Blue *Madness is the mind's co-pilot.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

X Files: The Jersey Devil *Naked Neanderthals on the outskirts of Atlantic City.* 3 stars

12:01 Beyond: Kneel Before the Future ----------------------

*D.O.A. - Behind the Smile: Things are looking bright for election 2016.* 3 stars

*Commander Lobo trips and falls heading out to the wasteland.* 2 stars

*Ninja Force, the Mission: Bacon jitsu vs. cheese.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

*Silverball Heroes versus Video Invaders in Arcade Attack* 3 stars

*Lobo in the wasteland sponsored by...* 2 1/2 stars

*A vintage trailer for Terminal City Ricochet.* 3 stars

*-984- Prisoner of the Future: Detained to desolation.* 3 stars

*Lobo thirsts and pines in the wasteland.* 3 stars

*Intimate Secrets - Secrets that have to be told - 1 900 - adults only - $2.00 per minute* 3 stars

*iBraineater - Modern Man (music video)* 3 stars

*JacMac & RadBoy GO!: Wow, did Mike Judge rip this off?* 3 stars

*Commander Lobo finds ThunderDome covered in feces.* 3 stars

*Robotistory: A video history of robots in pop culture entertainment.* 2 1/2 stars

*Lobo wants to go back home to his bunker.* 2 stars

*Max Fleischer's Superman - The Mechanical Monsters* 3 stars

*Vintage 1990 Live Psychic Readings commercial that's in the style of the X-Files intro. Eerie nostalgia.* 3 stars

*Republic Pictures serial The Crimson Ghost - Chapter 2 - Thunderbolt: Death ray escape debacle.* 2 1/2 stars

*Tex Avery's Jerky Turkey: Skipped. already viewed and reviewed

*Lobo has a biohazard demise.* 2 stars

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Tales from the Crypt: The Sacrifice *"Money, pussy, and bullshit." Also a few cussing parrots and a sleazy & kinky Michael Ironside.* 3 stars

"Howling 4, the Original Nightmare" *A novelist, with a vivid imagination, would rather chase the ghost of a nun, hangout with a lesbian ex-nun and search for clues to a legend of a werewolf church burning, and listen to howls on the wind in the night than have sex with her feathered-hair-do, five o'clock shadow bearded bohunk cheating husband.* 2 stars

American Horror Story -Freakshow- "Tupperware Party Massacre" *Avon culling. Chubby Chaser. Liquored lobster. Lingering Ethel. Privileged killer. Suicide letter. Shamelessly long pecker. Playing doctor. Tearjerker. Siamese threeway offer rejection. Jimmy sober and smitten. Framejob bloody mitten.* 2 1/2 to 3 stars

Friday the 13th, the series: The Great Montarro *Sarcophagus artifice.* 3 stars

"Dragonslayer" 1981 *Not the sorcerer that we want right now, but the sorcerer that we need. The lottery where the winner gets spit-roasted by Smaug has to be the absolute worst. There may have never been more themes of gender inequality, social-political injustice, and the transition between Paganism and Christianity ever before in a Sword & Sorcery flick.* 3 stars

Paranormal State: -season 1 -episode 13 *Cursed and mice infested piano for free on Craigslist.* 2 to 1 1/2 stars

Bob and Margaret: Trick or Treat *"the misery of eternal non-existence"* 2 1/2 stars

"Loose Shoes" -1980- ---------------------------------------------------

*The Howard Huge Story: "His hobby was watching planes fuck."* 3 stars

*Skateboarders From Hell: "Lock up your sons and daughters."* 3 stars

*The Invasion of the Penis Snatchers: "Coming at you in 3-D!"* 3 stars

*Three Chairs For Lefty: Bill Murray on death row.* 3 stars

*The Sneaker: Woody Allen parody.* 2 1/2 stars

*The Magic and Mystery of the Gobi* 3 stars

*Buddy Hackett on behalf of this nation's bed-wetters* 3 stars

*Don't forget organic chocolate covered beanettes.* 2 1/2 stars

*Ditch your kids at the matinee.* 2 1/2 stars

*The Shaggy Studio Chief plus the Calf Who Thought She Was A Chicken* 2 stars

*The Bad News Bares in Getting Laid* 3 stars

*A Visit With Ma and Pa: Ma and Pa take a talking pig to New York City* 3 stars

*The Birth of a Nation, parody* 2 1/2 stars

*The Kid and the Yid. Charlie the bum was a hebrew commie jew* 3 stars

*The Ballerina Is Dead in "Scuffed Shoes"* 2 1/2 stars

*Just a Run in the Sun: Cynical and funny war tragedy story.* 3 stars

*Fistful of Something: Sid Haig in a Spaghetti Western spoof.* 3 stars

*Welcome to Bacon County: Hicksploitation hilarity.* 3 stars

*That's Sexploitation! Under 18 must sneak in.* 3 stars

*The Return of the Pom Pom Boys: Sex comedy with a twist. This time it's the guys who are getting exploited.* 3 stars

*Billy Jerk Goes To Oz: Sticking up for the little man.* 3 stars

*Darktown After Dark: The first all black musical.* 3 stars

*Star (of David) Wars* 2 1/2 stars

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Scare Tactics: season 2 -episode 20 "Weirdo in the Haunted House" ----------

*Taking high school chemistry doesn't make one a chemist, especially evident when green goop, accidentally poured down the sink, by said non-chemist, comes gushing through the ceiling, doors, cracks, vents, and walls.* 3 stars

*Almost torched alive, in a van, by a psycho hitchhiker.* 3 stars

*Stripper audition interrupted by a jealous, meathead boyfriend who likes to throw guys out of windows.* 2 1/2 stars

*A closed down haunted house attraction, and former crime scene, has an uninvited guest who doesn't want to be disturbed.* 2 stars

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"Phantasm 4, Oblivion" *On the other side of morning.* 3 stars

Max Headroom: War *Network 23's poodle and pony show has the advertising bulls and bears instead hitching up to the war hysteria for profit media wagon.* 3 stars

The Outer Limits: The New Breed *Nanobots don't know when to stop. They turn a terminally ill man into a Frankenstein's monster of evolution.* 3 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Do Dreams Bleed? *The lingering trauma of having witnessed a brutal slaying.* 2 1/2 stars *Intimate personal closeness with a possible deranged killer can play foul with the mind.* 2 stars

"The Blair Witch Project" *"We're still alive because we got cigarettes, and we're smoking." Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians have a Deliverance weekend where they get choked in the shallow waters before they get too deep. The grunge era Autumn setting, lost in the woods paranoia, and low fi minimalist creative use of limited fx (stick figures and bundles of sticks with bloody body parts along with the noises and the spooky house) make up for the film students arguing in the middle of nowhere with a shaking camera nonsense that takes place for more than half of the film.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

X Files: Shadows *Mulder: *whispering* psycho-kinetic-manipulation / Scully: *amused* You mean like Carrie at the prom? --- Turns out it was a Ghost versus some terrorists and a jerk boss. Also, a missed opportunity to have Patrick Swayze as a guest star on the X Files.* 2 1/2 stars

"Alice Sweet Alice" -1977- *Impolite middle class Catholic society, cruel aunts, spoiled siblings, flamboyantly slobbish perverts, snap to judgement child psychologists, and pinch faced old church women with religious hangups are all worse than slightly odd and so called out of control tweens. Also, it's a shame that Brooke Shields' name is at the top of the movie's poster. She's barely in it, and the other little girl along with the rest of the cast are the soul of the movie.* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Girls Town *Scat and slang.* between 2 & 2 1/2 stars with riffing, between 1 1/2 & 2 stars without

Joe Bob's Hollywood Saturday Night: To The Limit *"Anna Nicole Smith gives retired, Texas strippers a bad name." Joe Bob Briggs* between 1 and 1 1/2 stars for this heavy edited softcore stinker

Weird Science: She's Alive *"a scathing indictment of a braindead, sexist MTV generation" 3 stars

Are You Afraid of the Dark: The Tale of the Phantom Cab *The Midnight Society start out by having a pair of lost Hansel & Hansel brothers putting a hole in a barrel out in the Canadian forest with a reject teacher from Hogwarts.* 3 stars

American Gothic: A Tree Grows In Trinity *Let Heaven and nature sting.* 3 stars

The Tom Green Show on Canadian television circa 1996(?) *"Who's the champ -NOW- champ?" Tom strangely bothers teachers on strike, concert goers, drugists, mall shoppers, poor fishermen, and former bowling league champions. He also plays footsie with a dating service lady.* 2 stars

Kung Fu, the series: Pilot Episode *Sometimes one must cut off a finger in order to save a hand, and sometimes one must hang himself in order to get off. Inner strength incapacitates ignorance.* 3 stars

"Country Hooker" *In the tune of a CB radio listenin' truck drivin' country western croon, "Doin' what they damn well please..." That is until their demented Tennessee Ernie Ford -esque pimpdaddy finds out. There are some freaks in this flick, and I don't mean the tricks, it's the johns and the honky tonk patrons.* 2 1/2 stars

"Christmas Evil" aka "You Better Watch Out" *If it's not a Jolly Dream, it's not worth having.* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Village of the Giants *These days, kids are getting too big for their britches. Of course, I'm talking about a Mousketeer, Opie, the kid from The Rifleman, and Beau Bridges.* 3 stars with riffing or 2 stars without

Tales from the Crypt: For Cryin' Out Loud *A real high pitched squealer with a weasel, rock promoter whose clients like Iggy Pop and Donny Osmond get on his nerves, a seductress blackmailer Katey Sagal trying to reach in his pants to snatch half of a million smackers, and an angry voice of reason Sam Kinison screaming his tell tell heart out constantly.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

New World Pictures "Candy Stripe Nurses" 1974 *A socially conscious skin-flick with sophisticated modern women who are smarter than the bohunks they seduce, Gran Torino type bitter old men griping about the decline of their local neighborhoods, commentary on a flawed justice system for minorities, student athlete doping controversy, medical malpractice issuing of needless prescriptions scandal, sexually repressed and spoiled rockstar, seventees era streaking, existential conversations while flirting, and just enough hospital setting hanky panky.* 3 stars

American Horror Story --Coven-- "Bitchcraft" *The part where Darren walked in on Tabitha going down on Elvira while Melissa Joan Hart cut herself with a razor blade for attention and the cast of Designing Women boiled that poor black guy (Meshach Taylor) alive in a caldron... hocus whoa...cus* 2 1/2 stars

Doctor Who (fourth doctor) "Pyramid of Mars" *Imprisoned ancient gods are always showing up in the isolated British countryside and killing 3 or 4 old men in their plot to destroy the world. Thanks to the Doctor, nobody else in the world ever notices.* 2 1/2 stars

TMNT: Mazes & Mutants *A lonely live action roleplayer gasses the turtles so that he can play a game with them in the sewers.* 2 1/2 stars

He-Man & She-Ra, A Christmas Special *Horde Prime wishes to stop Orko and two adorable Earth children from bringing the gospel of Chris Cringle to Eternia. Special guests the Smurf Transformers, the Eternian Decepticons, the Little Mermaid, and Skeletor's heart grew 3 sizes that day.* 2 1/2 stars

Are You Afraid of the Dark: The Tale of the Pinball Wizard *Super-soaker, now that's playing with power. A compulsive free play gamer gets trapped in the mall, inside a pinball machine, with a princess in distress, and is Sixpence None the Richer for it.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Swamp Thing: The Shipment *Arcane corrupts the local law enforcement into mutant trafficking and the crooked Sheriff helps kidnap Jim, fake Jim's death, and ship Jim off to South America. We finally get to see Swamp Thing show some physical muscle in a brawl with a stunt man and it's revealed what had to be painfully obvious all along, that the town had to have a corrupt police force in order for Arcane to be doing so many vile things without it coming to legal light.* 3 stars

"Neon City" 1991 *A disgruntled, former lawman (Michael Ironside) begrudgingly runs protection for a RV stagecoach of ragtag wayfarers across the cursed earth.* 2 1/2 stars

The Outer Limits: The Message *Binary E.T. S.O.S. for a deaf woman with a defective ear implant and new mother depression along with voices in her head making the domestic partner daddy think she's schizoid because she runs off with a looney janitor / UFO believer.* 3 stars

Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: Warlock the Armageddon *Runes and Druids. Smalltown fear and hatred of devil worship. Two young should destined to be lovers who are kept apart by ignorance and circumstance. Parents of the picturesque smalltown trying to protect a dark secret. Some horribly dated CGI (forgivable). Nice and twistedly gruesome gore fx to make up for the bad CGI. A charismatic villain (Julian Sands) who is just as good as Marvel's Loki (Tom Hiddleston).* 2 1/2 stars

Paranormal State: season 1 -episode 14 *In a house that was once a part of the underground railroad, there's a clash of values between a modern inter-racial family and a strict religious spirit of a lady who was an abolitionist.* 2 stars

"Home for the Holidays" 1972 *"There's nothing more chilling than a warm family gathering." An And Then There Were None style story at a stormy, secluded setting where the more stable sibling is the most sinister.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

--- Freddy's Nightmares: The End of the World

*Hazy earliest memories are repressed because they involve accidentally killing mommy and crippling a childhood friend, but a girl discovers she can dream things differently and it will fix the present. But unfortunately, there's a butterfly effect.* 2 1/2 stars

*The same girl, from before, is now having prophetic dreams of a nuclear warhead going off on U.S. soil. The C.I.A. is extra curious as to how she got launch codes, and once they figure out she's not fooling or getting tipped off from the inside, well they want to exploit her in their cold war pursuits, while she just wants to make sure that a disturbed sleepwalking missile defense employee doesn't make his Christmas nightmares of melting his son's favorite cartoon character Gumby's face off along with his own son's innocent face as well come true.* 3 stars

---------------------------------------------------------

"Class of 1984" *An irresponsible idiot subjects his pregnant wife to a brutal gang rape and torture all because he wants to be an inspirational music educator at one of those imaginary innercity hell highschools where he can't help but feud with the worst gang in a school that has its disciplinary hands tied with the usual red tape bullshit. This was way before zero tolerance. When teach has to turn vigilante just to earn 30k a year, a mild mannered biology professor (Roddy McDowall) has to hold a gun on his pupils just to get their focus on his lessons, and a timid tattle tell (Michael J. Fox) winds up shanked in the liver, just to name a few things, there might be good reason to move back to a smalltown or the suburbs and spare the rod.* 3 stars

Shaw Brothers: Fists of the White Lotus *White Lotus can't be touched because he fights hammer style. A lesson about a gentle approach and pinpointing the right pulse.* 3 stars

Scare Tactics: season 2 episode 22 "Mom's Crazy" -------------

*Little grey men nick around a ranch house near area 51.* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

*Falling into a wanted by the government hacker's booby trap.* 2 1/2 stars

*Having a nice evening with a psycho park ranger.* 2 1/2 stars

*Mommie dearest keeps her abducted little girl in a cage.* 3 stars

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"Ultra Flesh" 1980 *Sugar (cocaine?) is making the world's men impotent and the President of the United States pays a visit to a third world dictator (Jamie Gillis) whose people seem to have no problem snorting and screwing. Secretly, however, the dictator is a Mr. Freeze type alien who uses his dwarf henchmen to plot against the earth women. An intergalactic group of horny aliens send down Ultra Flesh, a vixen from Venus, to shoot laser beams out of her poonanny and help earth propagate again.* 3 stars

The Prisoner: Free For All *Who are you voting for? Which puppet candidate will it be? "You wouldn't deny the rite of proper procedure?"* 3 stars

New World Pictures presents Larry Cohen's "God Told Me To" --1976-- *Urban upheaval caused by a lot of gristle in the melting pot. The doggedly determined forced by personal convictions that are of soul tearing origins. The easily swayed are proned to random acts of violence. The new age fortunate are full of fallacy with their fancy notions. And the pitiful and holy are just as much victims as they inadvertently victimize others in their own inability to face up to the burden of consequences that come with cruel circumstance.* 3 stars

X Files: Ghost in the Machine *Interfacing Promethean resistively. The machine is dead. Long live the machine.* 2 1/2 stars

"Silent Night, Bloody Night" --1972-- *A season of violence come to bare its withered, ugly fruit. The sepia soaked orgy of murder by the mental patients along with the undertones of incest, then father assuming the identity of his dead daughter, whom he fathered a child with, is all rather haunting/disturbing.* close to 3 stars

Paranormal State: season 1 -episode 15 *The spirit of a war veteran still haunts the barn where he committed suicide after a alzheimer's diagnosis. So, the team brings in an army honor guard to have a memorial service where a piece of his skull was buried, by his wife, on the property. Also, a little boy, from before the middle of the 20th century, who died of the croop, on the property, is sensed as just a mischevious spirit by medium Chip Coffey.* 2 1/2 stars

American Horror Story --Murder House-- "Open House" *Squint and bite down. There will be no sale. These spirits won't be built over, smothered out, skull fucked, love requited, or made to polish their own silver again.* 2 1/2 stars

Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: Twilight Zone the movie *John Landis does okay thanks to the tragically killed Vic Morrow . Spielberg can only do schmaltzy Spielberg. Joe Dante puts some thrilling touches on a classic. Lithgow trumps Shatner in the freakout department, but none of these outings are as good as Rod Serling and the original.* 2 1/2 stars

Everything is Terrible --Holiday Special-- -2012- *"He sees you eat your pizza. He sees you eat your pizza."* 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Four-Sided Triangle *The sour couple from the Grant Wood American Gothic painting think they can hold captive a farmgirl to do all their chores. And Patricia Arquette is sure purty enough to make the crops grow. But the farmer's horny ignorance coupled with his wife's jealous mean streak are no match for the cow milking maiden's cleverness.* 3 stars

The Tom Green Show on Canadian television circa the late 1990s *Somewhere between Andy Kaufman and the geek who bites the heads off chickens at the county fair.* close to 2 1/2 stars

William Peter Blatty's "The Ninth Configuration" --1980-- *"Consider the lillies of the field."* 3 stars

Hill Street Blues: Double Jeopardy *"You figure that you're owed something for all the love and compassion that you carry in you..." A liberal cop comes face to face with the harsh reflection of reality in an oily mudpuddle on the other side of the rainbow. One of many storyline elements including Dan Hedaya as a dirty cop who turns out surprisingly to be easily deeply sympathetic for.* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Dead Talk Back *A model murdered by crossbow. Was it the amateur necromancer, the hip richboy, the confrontational preacher, the quiet abuser, the German pervert, or the nervous pornographer? If the dead girl can't tell us, we'll never know. Detective work depends on kooky science and no forensic nonsense.* 2 stars with riffing 1 star without

"The Conjuring" --2013-- *It's surprising to learn that famed demonologists The Warrens were actually selfless truthseekers and not the scam artists they were proven to be.* close to 3 stars

Jonny Quest: The Dreadful Doll *Witchdoctor Beavis working for a mercenary Fred Flintstone.* 2 1/2 stars

"Phase IV" --1974-- *The perceived terror of a terrrestrial advancement not our own.* 3 stars

The Outer Limits: I Robot *What is the value of conceived worth? Adam Link, the first sentient robot, has an amount of quality, as relating to empathy, greater than most humans.* 3 stars

South Park: #Rehash *Commentary and clit rubbing, both by obnoxious social media celebrities, is the entertainment content of the future.* 3 stars

South Park: #Happy Holograms *The most ignorant Christas special ever is now trending.* 3 stars

Swamp Thing: Birth Marks *Kari Wuhrer joins the cast as a test tube teen, and Jim's older brother -Will- becomes the central character as ST's link to the human world.* 2 1/2 stars

"Rewind This" --2013-- *"Don't let your mom tell you that you can't make a monster movie." *quoting* a door to door monster movie salesman and the self proclaimed Ed Wood of the 21st century. That pretty much sums up the 30 plus year culture, that became a cult, of video.* 3 stars

"Forced Entry" --1974-- *One of the first movies to deal with post traumatic stress disorder also happens to be a gritty 1970s NYC serial killer study mixed with a sleazy 42nd street rough porno. This is when skin flicks tried to be film art and this one is bold enough to juxtapose a home invasion sicko's forced oral money shot with scenes of burning Vietnamese villages and crying villagers.* either zero stars or 2 1/2 stars

David Cronenberg's "Dead Ringers" *One never has to feel alone what with shared life experiences, sexual opponents, the psychic connection between siblings, or the prescribed lifeline of addiction.* 3 stars

Weird Science: Universal Remote *Skipping through the boring parts of life just to hurry up and get to second base with girls.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Tim & Eric -Awesome Show- Great Job! ---Chrimbus Special--- -2010- *"The Winter Man wants you to eat a pound of hair per year."* close to 2 1/2 stars

Bob & Margaret: The Holiday *Hijacked hip hip hooray.* 3 stars

Thundarr the Barbarian: Battle of the Barbarians *Big barbarians in little Beijing.* 3 stars

Game of Thrones: season 3 -episode 6 *There's more than one way to kindle a fire, skin a rabbit, marry into an inbred family, serve a deity, shoot arrows, inflict torture, or climb an icy face of a wall.* 3 stars

Twin Peaks: Beyond Life and Death *Wow, Bob, Wow!* 3 stars

The Tom Green Show -Rogers Community TV- The Comedy Network --1998(?)-- *Tom Green seemed funny when I was around sixteen, now, sixteen years later, he seems more like a shithead.* either zero stars or 2 stars

Are You Afraid of the Dark: The Tale of the Nightly Neighbors *The people who just moved in next door are nocturnal freaks with fridges full of blood in their basement. A Nickelodeon version of Fright Night.* 2 stars

Friday the 13th, the series: Doctor Jack *The key to a disgraced surgeon's miracle surgeries is a scalpel that hungers for shadowy street murders.* 3 stars

Farscape: The Flax *Scavenging, self preservation, strategic chessgames, sweet romance, and sacrifice all at the flypaper snare strip in the pirate portion of the universe.* 3 stars

Max Headroom: The Blanks *The Blanks (anonymous), for highly justified political reasons of freeing unjustly imprisoned Blanks, hack into and threatened to shut down a technology dependent society ran by corrupt corporations and politicians.* 3 stars

X Files: Ice *Who goes there? Another tense, paranoid version of the classic sci fi story involving a parasitic alien in an arctic setting.* 3 stars

Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital: season 1 -episode 5 *Memorial shrine to regretful medical malpractice.* 3 stars

American Horror Story: Asylum --Origins of Monstrosity-- *Skin to skin. A mother's touch.* 3 stars --Dark Cousin-- *Summon the angel of death.* 3 stars --Unholy Night-- *Satan frees Santa from solitary.* 3 stars

Paranormal State: season 1 -episode 16 *A strange, and humorously titled, ghost communication device called "Frank's Box" is used to speak to spirits trapped by a demon inside an insane asylum with a dark history and many unmarked graves on its grounds.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"The Dark Secret of Harvest Home" *"What men may never know and what women may never tell." Townies from NYC accidentally take a wrong turn across a picturesque covered bridge into a frozen in colonial times New England village where the townfolk have strange customs involving corn and keeping to the old ways. The more the inquisitive sketch artist husband digs into the secrets surrounding a strange death, the more the mother and daughter get caught up in the cult nature of the many festivals. It turns out to be a fertility cult where the new blood wife is mounted and humped in front of the cuckold hubbie by a bohunk who is then beheaded. As tradition, the husband's eyes are then scratched out by the white robed pagan women for having witnessed the sacred act. See, this is why I fully throw my hat behind the patriarchy and not mother earth religions.* 3 stars

"Hot Summer in the City" ---sexploitation--- --1976-- *While a soundtrack of songs like AM radio gold classic "Everlasting Love" played as militant black power jive bruthas took turns on a scared Alice in Wonderland captive piece of "white pussy" and the group's cockeyed idiot gets brow beaten and bitch slapped for getting his "finger stuck in her asshole," I realized why this movie is self hating, w.a.s.p. hating, obvious subversive, ugly mongoloid looking Quentin Tarantino's favorite dirty movie.* either zero stars or close to 2 1/2 stars

American Horror Story --Coven-- "Boy Parts" *Extra piece of fried chicken. Frankenstein boyfriend. Ghetto hair extensions. 180 year old racist. Poisoned buckwheat. Alligator dung. Snake eggs. Stevie Nicks. Deep fried revenge. Poaching game. Minotaur Mandingo. Woman on top.* between 2 1/2 & 3 stars

King of the Nerds: Imaginary Realms *Cosplay challenge. The only cosplay that ever interested me was the scene from Revenge of the Nerds where there's spacesuit deception in order to get nookie from a cheerleader inside a moonwalk attraction at the fair.* 2 stars

Kung Fu, the series: King of the Mountain *Confrontation is not courageous, but it is indeed cool when it is combat, on the side of a cliff, between David Carradine and a cowboy bounty hunter John Saxon.* 3 stars

American Gothic: Eye of the Beholder *Faust Gump* 3 stars

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